#i can't think of anymore tags lol

[wren-of-the-woods]

I've been seeing a lot of posts lately talking about how no one comments/reblogs/replies/etc anymore, and, as someone who comments regularly on a lot of fanworks, it sometimes makes me wonder if my efforts are worth anything. Then I remember how much happiness I get from comments on my own work/posts and how much the community of fandom can matter, and I remember the power that can be found in spreading joy instead of disappointment.

So -- to everyone who comments on fanfiction: thank you. You make the writing process worthwhile and so very rewarding. You make people happy every day.

To all the people who reblog art and gifsets and meta and anything else with enthusiastic tags: thank you. You make people smile and promote interesting conversations and make being on Tumblr so much more fun.

To anyone who sends people asks about their works, whether it's unprompted or part of an ask game: thank you. You give people reasons to talk about things they love and feel like a part of a community.

To the people who makes reclists: thank you. You give us more to read while showing the author how much their work is loved and appreciated, benefitting so many people.

To everyone who organizes events and groups and blogs and dedicated to fandom: thank you. You build community and love and excitement so effectively and it's wonderful.

To all the authors and artists who respond to comments and build community: thank you. You make people smile with your work and then again with your response.

To everyone who contributes to fandom and community in all the other beautiful, varied ways that I can't even begin to list: thank you. You are why we're here.

And, finally, to every writer, visual artist, gifmaker, cosplayer, maker of edits, writer of meta, or creator of art in any other form: thank you. Your work is wonderful and you make fandom what it is, regardless of who sees your art or how much response you recieve.

Keep going, everyone. You are a part of something beautiful.

#wren talks #fandom #writing #fanfiction #ao3 #tumblr #writerblr #i get tired of seeing posts like 'things used to be so much better and no one comments anymore' #or 'no one reblogs things on this site these days' #it's such an oversimplification #like. of course people reblog! i reblog!! i am people! so are my mutuals and they also reblog! #LESS interaction doesn't mean NO interaction and saying it does erases the efforts of people who do interact #also this can vary SO much depending on your fandom and ship and how long you've been around and so many other factors #like the commenting culture in the silm fandom is incredibly different from that in the witcher fandom #star trek is closer to witcher but there're a few major differenes #can't speak for other fandoms but i'm sure there are other significant differences #and they also change over time #anyway all this to say that i think encouraging people works way better than complaining #and at its core fandom is an exchange of love #that should be based in positivity #but this got long whoops #hopefully it's vaguely coherent #ok tag rant over now lol

[wikiangela]

last line tag

tagged by @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz 💖💖

___

It’s a good few weeks, and it feels like everyone’s back on track, settling into their lives again, figuring everything out one day at a time. Buck’s happy. He has his awesome girlfriend, his best friend seems finally more at ease, even if the divorce is adding some stress, and his other best friend is happier than ever with his mom around. Everything’s finally starting to go great.

And then it all gets disrupted again.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns

#the alive shannon fic #last line tag #buddie wip #buddie fic #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #clearly struggling to segue into the bombing lmao #my wips #skipped wip wednesday so have a lil line haha #thought id have the bombing written already but need to start getting ready for work so i guess writing's done for today lmao #i might be a little absent from the writing games in the next few weeks bc im just so exhausted lately lol #this scene I'm writing is so disjointed and out of order rn and i hate it i need to find more time to write it properly haha #but pls keep tagging me i love reading y'alls wonderful snippets!! #also what do we think shannon's job could be bc im trying to figure it out and have no clue lol #(also i have to actively remind myself of ali's existence and i can't wait until the break up so i don't have to anymore lmao)

[wandaxpietro]

another ask because this is the only way I know how to contribute to the Maxicest/ScarletSilver fandom (wish i could do more but college is p a i n )

but imagine if Pietro and Wanda just came out and told everyone they're dating/in love (whether as a joke or if they're being serious or idk) I am willing to bet a majority of their friends/coworkers/acquaintances/enemies would either be like: "we knew lol" or "you haven't already???" or be supportive or neutral to their relationship.

But I'm wondering... how would Magneto react? How would Lorna react? How would Magda/Marya/Natalya and Django react? (if they were alive to see it) How would Vision or Crystal react?

Hell, how would Billy and Tommy react? And Luna too? (marvel pls bring her back :((( plsss)

i feel like in the current SW&QS comic run, there will probably be some in-universe comment/rumors that since are Pietro and Wanda are together again, that they are together.

(might ask more questions/thoughts/random blurbs later ://)

ah i think you're more charitable than i am... i don't think most people who know them would be okay with it. they all probably know to varying degrees -- especially their close friends -- it's the deniability that saves it for them, that makes them able to ignore all of it. the avengers (the ones that are close to them, that is) all know, all have seen the twins in weird situations, but they've gotten very very good at looking away. none of them want to know. i think they'd be highly uncomfortable if they came out with their relationship officially, because that'd mean they can no longer ignore it, y'know? i don't think most would start a fight about it or a confrontation or anything, but they'd get weird around the twins.

(on a side note, i think clint is one of the people who'd get actually angry for a while lol. that moment when you're bisexual and your two crushes are dating etc etc. also i think carol would ask wanda if she's alright, if pietro's forcing her into anything, which would make wanda really mad. janet i think is smart enough that she's realized for a long time they're in love & knows something like that isn't going on but she wouldn't be very comfortable, either. the one i think who's most likely to "accept" it is actually tony bcuz i think he genuinely wouldn't give a fuck lol)

that aside! now for the ones you actually asked about lol. ah it's difficult.

magneto - depends on when he'd find out. during brotherhood times, i don't think he'd care, because he didn't really care about them to begin with. once he finds out they're related, at the very beginning, i think he'd be appalled but there isn't anything he can do about it, since he's an absent father trying to reconnect and has no rights to his children. once they're in the family dance for a while, he's grown a bit demanding, esp towards pietro, if that makes sense? so i think he'd probably argue with them about it lol. i don't think he'd like it, not so much bcuz of personal disgust, but mostly bcuz of optics. but also bcuz he has a desire for his children to live normal, happy lives (as much as he has trouble showing them that normally lol) and i think he'd think that would interfere with that. he's also very good at ignoring it, however -- before he'd officially find out, ofc, but after, too. he just conveniently "forgets" it. maybe starts introducing both of them to other people. they hate it.

lorna - i think lorna knows. i think she's known for a long time and while she was disgusted by it at first (and also strangely jealous; she doesn't want either of them but they've always been so close and she never had that. she doesn't have a sibling that's primarily hers, if that makes sense) i think she came to terms with it over time, enough so that she'd be pretty alright with it if they went official.

i honestly don't know about magda, django, marya and natalya... i think magda would have a lot of compassion after everything they've been through, but would treat it as an unfortunate side-effect of all of the twins' trauma, if that makes sense? she loves them a lot, though. the rest of them i don't know. i can't see any of them liking it, but marya and django might just be happy they're both alive and happy, you know? i feel like natalya would want more for them, similarly to magneto, bcuz she doesn't quite get it. but no one does. so yknow.

so billy and tommy are their kids. we know this. i think tommy wouldn't care, tbh. i can't see him being fazed or disgusted by it, also i think he'd be happy to find out pietro is his dad. they already get along, and he doesn't have a lot of people who care about him, and who want to spend time with him (vision never did lol). idk about billy..... i think he dearly loves them both but i think he might just think wanda could do better (lol). i think he'd be vaguely uncomfortable, but pietro would never play dad if billy didn't want that, so i think they're fine-ish? he'd probably get used to it eventually even when he's not thrilled. idk if he'd ever see pietro as his dad. also i think he's also known for a long time but he hasn't gotten over it like lorna has.

as for luna....... honestly she's genuinely a weird kid. she can see people's emotions & i can't see her caring much about "human" taboos. she's from a royal family, and her aunt's husband is also her aunt's (distant) cousin. i think she'd be fine, lol. she can see the love between wanda & pietro -- and tho she probably didn't realize (or didn't want to; bcuz that'd make things complicated) that it was romantic, too, she'd be relatively fine, just happy that her father's happy. she's long since been over crystal and pietro's marriage, so that doesn't bother her, either.

#i'm sorry if this feels like a pessimistic view lol #but i genuinely can't see most of the people surrounding them as actually fully supportive #also i think wanda & pietro wouldn't ever officially come out as a couple. it's been a secret for a long time #and at some point it's not really a secret anymore -- w and p don't treat it as one anymore either -- but no one talks about it #it's like an open secret. people who want to can safely ignore it most of the time #but then they'll catch a clandestine moment and be reminded. lol. #anyway! #answered #i should probably start tagging these asks #scarletsilver #maxicest

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

#ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #I Love Yoo #Kousuke Hirahara #Shinhye #idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore #and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name #so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol #alas #anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March #literally said 'It's all downhill from here' #which I take to mean til the timeskip #BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______; #i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it #Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____; #I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop #i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl #to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace #all the opportunities he lost #the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted #he lost himself in the process #or maybe he never even got to know himself #i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad #that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked #so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of #FUCKING DEVASTATED #I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS

[trlvsn]

studying psychology literally does nothing for your understanding of yourself btw. you just end up with better knowledge of excel

#going to rant in the tags a little because maybe someone has the same experience #like. i am aromatic. and probably asexual. sometimes i feel like i might be in love with a person because i start craving company with them #but when i think about any romantic or intimate touch i start dissasotiating and get really weirdly sad and unenthusiastic about the idea #apathetic even. it's like i want something i can't describe or even get realistically #and my own relationship with touch is also really weird #i remember when i was an early teen i would deprive myself of touch in times of stress #if i was crying or something i would sit and spread my limbs so that they weren't touching each other bc i didn't feel deserving #of the comfort #and like!!! wtf!!!! nothing ever happened to me to cause that. did it #i'm literally just a normal girl #why am i like this and what is wrong with me. why can't i love normal why is it always an obsession and a game #why do i get interested and then when i finally understand the person i'm not anymore. people aren't rubix cubes but my heart thinks them so #sigh. please can i have one normal relationship with a person. one good friend #anyways LOL bye

[smile-files]

hill the melon, mist the apple, dawn the strawberry, and moon the banana :)

#dandy's doodles #botanica #i swear to god i don't even know what the name of the story is anymore #i can't properly tag this now can i #whatever lol #my ocs #i don't think i've drawn these four digitally before #so here you go!!! my little fruit guys :)

[damn-it-a-hogwarts-legacy-blog]

It is 3am and I am fully in my feelings

#let them grow up and get married and live happily ever after #i am no longer asking #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #ominis x oc #ominis gaunt x mc #idk how to tag anymore lol #Ominis has been through so much LET HIM BE HAPPY #he keeps leaning in like he wants to kiss her my heart can't take this #deek thinks you should be proud of all the screenshots you've taken #Isabel Greymoore

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

#text #hmm. this post was funnier in my head #to be clear i am not one of those ''aut1sm is a superpower'' people and i'm aware that my ''gifts'' afford me significant privilege #but they also used to be things i liked about myself even when i was depressed #now that i'm anywhere from 3-5 yrs into burnout and can't rly *access* my gifts in the capacity i used to be able to anymore #it's rly hard to be positive about things. lol #i used to think that if people were going to think i was weird forever that i should at least be useful #which may not be possible to the degree it once was. and i realize was also a damaging and unhelpful mindset to begin with #tbh i'm rly jealous of the zoomers who seem to have more knowledge about/be more accepting of this stuff. #i think i was just in denial for years. but after looking into it more i'm more certain i'm aut1stic than i've been of anything in my life #which is significant considering the; yknow; identity issues. lol #it's kind of hilarious how many of my old text posts just scream ''undiagnosed aut1stic burnout'' in retrospect #sorry for all the behaviors and stuff. i love my mutuals but i think i have to be on this website less #while i figure my stuff out. i'll still check in but not as often #feel free to reach out in the meantime. i already miss a lot of my friends i lost contact with while going thru it <3 #wow these tags got away from me. ok bye

[octoagentmiles]

Animals I wish to see in Above and Beyond:

Alternate title: I Am Banging On Silvergate’s Door As We Speak /j

Bees!! because a bee model does in fact exist. I know this. They just need to use it /srs. Plus bees would make a really cute episode anyway- and when they finally do it I am willing to bet $9999 on it being a Vegimals episode.

Orchid mantis, or any kind of mantis really. Why? They are my favourite bug, next question-

Gynandromorph animal(s)!!! They're so cool—they're what happens when an animal with vastly different gender differences (think the harlequin ducks) is born intersex, and they look like Picasso paintings come to life. (it could also be a fun way to introduce a character with they/them pronouns-)

Parrots! (I know we got the mountain parrots but shh-) I desperately want a Pete-centered episode, and give him some friends while you're at it please.

Centipede! They’re literally just remipedes on land. Make it a Shellington episode and call it a day 👍

Snails. I love snails. They're the best mollusks, I am not accepting criticism.

Tarantula. Just because :)

Bunny. They showed an illustration of a non-anthro bunny in The Cold Snap and I have not felt peace since.

I’d gladly take a jackrabbit too; they’re not really rabbits (they’re hares), but if you’ve read that one post you’ll understand. It’s a Kwazii and Tweak episode.

Sammy The Falcon specifically. What is his deal???? They introduced him as Paani's living taxi and gave us ZERO context.

Maned wolves. Weirdos. (affectionate)

Moose. I will not elaborate further.

I’m down to see the chinstrap penguins again, or Ooju and Rocko—I think they should interact 👀

Ostrich?? Emu?? I have nothing else to say.

Ring-Tailed Lemur. They’re another one of my favourite animals, and I think the Wild Kratts fans would get a kick out of it. They deserve nice things.

Mole lizard. Look it up I DARE you. (cw if you're scared of snakes or worms) /nf

#octonauts #octonauts above and beyond #help i have no idea what to tag- #if you're curious about the bee model: it was shown in a chinese promo poster for anb that i found on my deep dive a while ago #i didn't include it in the post i made but it exists trust me- #source: trust me bro #i want it to be a vegimal ep bc the veges were implied to be a hivemind in the books and i would LOVE for that to be referenced #we need more kwazii and tweak episodes in general. but gimmie em chasing a jackrabbit in the middle of the night bf unsolved style >:) #that'd be so fun you can't argue bc i'm right /lh #shout out to the wk fandom. ily. #i watched like 2 eps of that show as a kid but i was obsessed with the online flash games where u made ur own avatar and went on missions #i dont think it exists anymore but twas a cherished childhood memory nonetheless #do i need to tag bug cw for this post? i just noticed a fair amount of these are insects- i like bugs ig lol #ask to tag

[inhumanliquid]

who's your favorite Sanders Sides character

I. Don't have a favorite, actually. Please don't make me pick between the sillies.

#obviously i love virgil's color scheme and also i think he's really cool #logan's a total fucking nerd (affectionate) which is kind of a bit of a mood #remus single-handedly fixed me and every thought about him i have makes me giggle like a schoolgirl #roman could probably fix me even more and also he's uniquely beautiful in a way i can't put in normal human words #patton is more like my dad than my actual father #janus is part of why i'm not scared of snakes anymore and also he's so fucking silly #sorry for being insane in the tags i'll stop now lol #sanders sides

[dandyshucks]

why does he say "hehe" 😭

#shane is a hehe type of guy i guess #i love him sm fdsjkl #dandy plays stardew #i can't remember if that was my old stardew tag or not dsjkl i started a new save file (yet again) and im doing a shane run this go around #usually i go for Leah but this time... shane is just so failwife hfhdsjkl #also i dont have the polyamory mod installed anymore (too lazy to update it LOL) so i have to just choose one #and I think Leah's happy enough in her little cottage but Shane needs someone to help him along in life hfsjkl #i should draw out the weird chart i have in my head of how i chose who to pick fsdjkl its so funny #i'll clear off a whiteboard and draw it out bc i think it might be fun to share LOL #i also need a tag for shane i think.... #dandy.cmd

[8lah8lah]

"both sides of shipcourse are wrong" says person about to not bat a fucking eye when someone on one side gets chased off the fucking internet and doxxed and told they deserve assault for liking ships that are abusive in a way they dont immediately understand/relate to. "shipping discourse is just sooo dumb and immature" says person about to fucking gasp and scream and tell all their mutuals and post "STOP putting ***** on my dash in 202_" vagues like A Gross Drawing Existing In The World is going to singlehandedly groom and traumatize and enable and Normalize everything for everyone on the planet simultaneously for simply being put out there and it being out there is a category 10000 mental safety hazard that they must bravely defend people from. "youre stupid if you care about ship discourse lmao" posts brave tumblr user about to get really upset publically over One person they saw shipping a like, 4-year age gap between two fictional chars that's there if you Squint, an opinion that Clearly has NOTHING to do with very specifically one side of the discourse

#8log upd8 #bottom line i really really Rreally resent people going 'oh haha this Stupid Internet Drama #is So Dumb and everyone who cares about it is dumb too' followed by #literally ruining somebody's life because they never bothered to look into or learn why #that person likes the stuff they do. OR LIKE GIVE THEM ANY GOOD FAITH AT ALL? #at the very very very very fucking least you would ASSUME these people see someone getting #Harassed Off The Fucking Internet and go hm did this person really deserve it. what did they do #and why and what is their side of the story. #NOPE its just Ummmm make sure to not reblog from *** or youll get Freak Poisoning by proximity!! #it's why i don't really post my own stuff on here anymore; i don't feel comfortable- #-being in a social environment where people will just up and decide someone deserves #to Not Exist where they can see them anymore. even if it's not me it's happening to #it's too cruel and i can't stand it ._.; if you do or allow stuff like this please unfollow me #or better just block me outright. 'oh but what if they post-' I Don't Fucking Care #unless they're posting about specific real living/lived human beings in harmful ways #they don't deserve this shit and even if they WERE posting about real people (they arent.) #what do you think online harassment would do to stop that? you think predators are gonna #get vagued and go Aw shucks ive been caught better stop being weird about specific real children! #tags are getting long lol sorry

[guardian-angle22]

The rules are simple: tag the fic that made you cry / feel all the feelings and describe why it's so good. Then, tag some fellow associates to see what everyone else is reading. Make sure to tag #fic rec friday or @welcometololaland so that she can compile the masterlist and spread the love!

Nobody specifically tagged me but I'm gonna try to do these as many times as I can regardless of tags! 💜😋

From The Sidelines by @iboatedhere

This is a fun little league baseball AU, why would it be on the list for "fics that made me cry" you might ask? Well, I went into this fully unprepared for how absolutely emotional the relationship between TK and Jonah was going to make me. It was so well done and there were some scenes between the two of them that just absolutely gutted me. Tears were shed.

the meetings for those in my wake by @morganaspendragonss

I mentioned last Fic Rec Friday how much I love all of Holly's fics and always turn to them if I need some good hurt/comfort/whump in particular. This specific fic has a scene with Carlos speaking to an unconscious TK that just broke my heart into tiny little pieces and I had to re-read that part again to make sure I read it through my tears correctly the first time. Also an honorable mention to quédate un segundo más which has a Major Character Death in it, so if that's not your cup of tea - skip it, but holy shit will it make you cry like a baby.

if my wishes came true, it would've been you by @ravens-words

TK waking up in an alternate reality. I was hooked with just that premise alone, but the way the story progresses really hits you with all the emotions TK is feeling and it definitely qualifies for a fic that makes you feel all the feels.

Every fic in this Seven Ways (Back to You) series by @welcometololaland

3x04 my beloved. Such a good episode. So many missing moments. This series of missing conversations set in that time frame were so absolutely wonderful and they healed my soul when they were posted. Whenever I need to feel some 3x04 specific feels: I go there.

#911 lone star fic #fic recs #fic rec friday #I really need to start preparing these ahead of time cause I KNOW there are so many wonderful fics that have made me cry like a baby #but I can only think of so many off the top of my head lol #i'm not tagging anyone specifically cause I don't know who already did it today since its almost not even friday anymore lmao #(yes I know it says name one fic but like... I can't do that. there's too many good ones)

[barkingangelbaby]

dude...

#if I don't stop hyperfixating on my breathing... like... idfk how much longer i can live like this... #it's been happening since last august snd I'm so tired of it..... #it's not even only when I'm high anymore it's like... all the time #i just like.. stop automatically breathing once i think about it and it takes me *so* *fucking* *long* to start again #honestly I'm just typing this post to distract myself a bit and hopefully i just start breathing normally again but I'm still manually #breathing rn. and now im wondering what the normal amount of time in between breaths is and if I'm taking too long ?? #i tried to time my breaths with N's but she's asleep so i know it's gonna be different than mine #hoooo boy wish me luck falling asleep this is so annoying!!!! #is this ocd??? I've had several ppl in the past year tell me they think I have it but thinking about it makes me spiral #but it would explain A Lot of my thoughts n habits #anyway. I'm very annoyed with myself rn i just want to breathe normally and not worry myself into panic attacks anymore #actually very worried about how bad my stress in general has been bc there's no way it's been good for my body #ok. time to snuggle up n try to fall asleep!! im v cold rn so i have to warm up before i hug N bc i don't want to wake her with my ice cold #skin lmao. i can't wait for it to be warmer so i don't have to worry/feel bad about that lol #OKAY BBYYYYEEE if you read these tags I'm so very sorry. #rAMbles

[helennorvilles]

have filled six and a half pages of an a5 notebook for job interview potential questions and ideas for answers so far and my hand hurtsssss and the nerves are reallllllll

#it's like i am shitting myself but in a way that it's like. i'm not shitting enough? #i think this is the stress level that normal people get but it's like. that's weird for me. a stressed person. #maybe i've hit my limit. i have so much to do i can't care enough about getting this job lol #idk. it's like i have prepared SO little up until now that i really am just putting faith in my own ability #and that's it's own type of scary but also freeing?? like i haven't had a chance to put the right effort in so i can only be me? #and if i flunk it then i will be better next time considering this can literally just be practice #god. i mean w/ less than 24 hours notice when i still have to teach that's rough right? i hope they're chill about it #and bc i am LITERALLY right now at that school doing the job they'd be hiring me for that they like. forgive nerves and shittiness #and give me the job anyway?? fingers fucking crossed eh #god i hope they're easy questions. as i understand it i'll get the questions a bit before to prepare? which is like. both good and bad. #that's more pressure. oh man. okay so this tag ramble has gone too long and i am cutting myself off to sleep. #or at least to somehow find interview appropriate clothing in my wardrobe bc idk how to look presentable anymore 🫠 #my post tag

[arthrobug]

Why is half your skull black?

Ask #10

HINT OF MUSCADINE'S BEGINNINGS!

When a textbox, speech bubble, or text itself seems different from the rest (bolded, different color, etc) that means it's either a significant part of the character or it's simply an enunciation of what they're saying.

Anyways, this is either going to be the last ask for a while, or the start of a slightly faster schedule. I'm making a post about what project/story I should focus on, and it's decided by you guys! There is six ideas I've had, some for a couple years now (like The Living Void), or a few that are incredibly new. Please help me out deciding when it's posted!

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#milothecorgdillo #muscadine #muscadine shipkid #error sans #error #blackberry #swapfell sans #blackberror #undertale #underverse #qna #the living void #ask #UTMV #okay have a nice day or night I can't think of anymore tags lmao #art #illustration #I kinda lied lol