#i cant stay away for too long

[onewolfaday]

025. yasha nydoorin but werewolf au

#my design <3 hi yasha #i cant focus on anything other than cr all day today so. yasha #i loooooooove werewolf au yasha. my FAVORITE canon-adjacent au for yasha #it fits everything. it fits everything #bit by a werewolf as a young kid. used as a weapon her whole life. abused even further by obann. runs away and never stays #someplace for too long bc she sees her wolf as unstable and violent (and well. it is. bc shes traumatized) and so runs on full moons #in the kings cage shes forced to transform by obann and. etc. you get it. i love this au #i have a really weird and specific headcanon for this au which is that instead of her fur turning all white slowly as it grows in #she just suddenly starts shedding like crazy. and then it grows in white. #okay anyway. this is not the place to ramble about cr stuff. oops :-") #werewolf #yasha nydoorin #wolves #critical role

[silkysong]

small gateway inc coming tonight methinks (and mehopes)

#i still feel like crap but im obssessed with my kits i cant stay away from them for too long.... #even when i feel awful they make me feel better.......

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[fishybehavior]

I have ideas that are stuck in my head

#mostly just the star wars au #i cant draw what i want #and i dont want to write #but like #ousghsjsj #nya and jay are both jedi who fell in love #which is a HUGE no no your not supposed to have relationships #as jedi should only be devoted to their work and the force #but theyve fallen for each other and are keeping it a secret #and they both hate it #jay is driven to find some kind of work around and ends up falling more into the dark side #with his hatred for the jedis restricting rules and control #nya stays because she feels responsible for keeping everyone safe #but now to keep everyone safe she has to hurt the one she loves #and jays trying to pull her into the dark side too so they could be together #but nya doesnt want that so she fights him #and that make jay even more angry at the jedi krder and makes him want to tear it down more #and after some crying and heart to heart after fighting for so long they decide that maybe they arnt responsible for the universe #that maybe they should just run away #make their own path unstead of choosing one or the other #and then they do #the end

[marymekpop]

⟢ highlight of the hour: our blooming youth [8/20] ⟣

Go find Soon-dol.. bring Go Soon-dol here.

#our blooming youth #korean drama #park hyungsik #jeon sonee #mygif #obyhoth #mmkfav #yup yup yup yup #this scene was it #this scene was everything #def the highlight scene for me from ep 08 #the moment he realized it was going down so he was like i need my detective eunuch #i loved it i loved it #this scene lowkey gave me goosebumps #sooo so good #poor jaeyi be fighting for her life over here #our scholar park can try to ignore or avoid jaeyi as much as he wants but we know hes down bad for her #he cant stay away from her for too long #also the last 20 mins of ep 08 >> #ITS GOING DOWNNN #hERE WE GOOOO #it's tIMMEEE

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine #and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out” #so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao #am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now #I'm just questioning something about someone #sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot #even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay. #because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before. #but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in #i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong- #-again and if i need to hear another drama again #it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much #maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it? #i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess? #i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now #i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now) #i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something #i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore #okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight #mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red #alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages #(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)

[languri]

I'm actually so lucky I am not interested into fantasy genre and not knowing english at a young age because I have nothing to say other than expressing my deep condolences to p*tterh*ads for having their fav media being created and build by a person that later reveals to be a deeply vile and disgusting person decades after the book was published

#some say she has always been problematic ages ago before she's revealed to be a terf #which is true but people swept that away and gave her so much benefit of the doubt #but i cant deny that the lore is probably too long and too good for other to highlight and focus on it #and people were much more interested on the world building and i remember seeing a lot of people making hp ocs and making rps- #on fb when i was younger #so i am so serious when I say I feel so sorry for the fans now because it must be so hard for them to enjoy the series #while distancing it away from the author because as much as you want to ignore it the author will always be- #connected to the series #i really dont fw with ppl who has hp as dni here because despite how I dont even watch or read hp #i feel so bad for fans especially lgbtq fans that loves hp for years even a decade #and probably has hp as a significant part of their childhood-teenagehood #only to throw that away now because of a vile person #i personally find anyone that has hp as dni doesn't seem to understand how hard it can be to let go of something that could be a part- #of why they are the person they are in the present #anyway stay strong hp fans i totally understand your conflict and pain 🫂 #asukablyat

[italofobia]

being obsessed with leona of all characters is killing me because hes one of those characters where you have to read between the lines to grasp his true personality and motives and usually i am not a fan of that but he makes it worthwhile somehow and ITS NOT BECAUSE HES HOT BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING maybe it's because as an author i feel like id treat him better and feel personally wronged by the fact that his potential is ignored or wasted

#i cant wait for this hyperfixation to end....why did i make a self insert and everything. #i did make a self insert to ship with He Who Shall Not Be Named but i never named it so i guess that prevented it from lasting long #i need to make a ff7 one too... #anyways. it's totally fine if you hate leona hes an acquired taste but also stay 200 feet away from me i dont need to see all that ♥️ #twst #leona kingscholar

[deathandthemaiden23]

❤️GLOMP PART 2❤️

Ounch™️

#puss in boots #puss in boots death #muerte #lobo #puss in boots the last wish #pib #pibtlw #hello i am in fact still alive #and I'm still absolutely obsessed with this movie #and also this wolf #because fml i guess #im planning my long fic as we speak and i think I've finally got a good grasp on the overall plot #these two are too cute i cant stay away from them uwu

[snixx]

*starts drafting a rant on tumblr dot com* *writes a few hundred words* *is overcome by lethargy and omg doesn't sleeping sound so much more fun than this because im never going to get everything i want to express down and it's gonna feel forever incomplete* *lets it rot in my drafts forever and ever*

#girlblogging.pdf #i am a sleepy first and foremost above everything #but yeah just did the thing again #my drafts are a hellscape #so many incomplete rants in there i appreciate people who can consistently write full on rants #i adore reading rants but theyre so much work. critiquing and being a hater is so much work #because you have to be so careful about not accidentally including/excluding some harmless thing you didnt want to target #i mean dont get me wrong ive posted a few of them too #they usually get like 2 notes lol but its more for myself i like having it written down somewhere so im not overwhelmed when someone inevi #- tably asks my thoughts on a topic #and its frustrating stewing in my annoyance #but yeah anyway #i like ranting into the void its so satisfying when i feel like ive gotten my thoughts out semi fully somewhere #like processing all my thoughts takes away that power they have to frustrate me because i know im annoyed but cant fully express why #but yeah i am bad at completing them. thats the drawback of not being able to stay angry for long the sleepy always overpowers the rage #its a blessing and a curse #blessing cause im mostly pretty chill #curse because it WILL comeback to annoy me later if i dont fully process it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[grantihare]

i have no energy to make this pretty, this has just sapped all the drive from me

mother in law from hell went into our room while we were housesitting for my family today, rummaged through all our shit and left a huge mess. shes stolen things from me in the past so im sure things will be missing when we go to clean it later today but who knows what the damagell be

fuck am*zon but they have the cheapest fastest lock we can get, i cant take her boundary stomping anymore, shes been causing problems for us every day that weve been gone but im afraid of how much shell escalate if she has free access to our stuff

pypl is corctt, if someone wants to be an angel and just get it for us i put the link in the replies, we just dont have 11 after bills and groceries and i want to be able to feel safe

#shes sick w cvd too which is why were staying here instead of just stopping in to get the mail and im #so fucking tired. i have to disinfect everything she touched now and she left everything a wreck #i just want a day away from her nonsense and she just wont let us have it its always something #screenshot from my partners phone for ref i dont let her have my number 🙃 #im sorry to ebeg ik theres so many ppl w more important stuff to give to im just. so done and next payday isnt for a week and a half and i #cant rest easy knowing she has that long to keep stealing/breaking/touching all my shit #my therapistll have a field day tomorrow w this haha

[horrorwebs]

fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is

#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were #messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment #i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an #excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol) #she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say' #understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our #relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1) #anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i #didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things + #told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know) #my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good #and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good?? #but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling #i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her #badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well #which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this. #ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD #THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND #HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!! #and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an #we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i #want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh #its exhausting liking someone huh #loveposting #spikeposting #if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?

[seoulmates98]

I was correct. Ep 13 of my only 12% is gut-wrenching

#my papaw just passed away not too long ago #and since my extended family isnt on the best of terms with him #my immediate family and my one aunt #were the only ones who stayed and helped with my grandma #tho my uncles in jail so he cant really help #this episode hits way to hard for me right now #but i needed thay cry #probably still need it 😕 #personal #my only 12% #my only 12 percent

[littlestpetship]

oh.... oooohhhhh........... (hand on chest painfully) ohhhhh......

#text #⭐️ #i do this too... :'(( #whenever i have a shutdown i put on a bunch of layered clothes and my favorite hat and sometimes even gloves #then i would cover myself in blankets and lay in bed so i can hide away somewhere no one can see me... #even in the hottest summer days this routine would always stay the same and it was very hard :( #but ive been doing lots better lately :) i havent had a shutdown in a very long time! #i think whenever collei feels that i way i would try and help.. because i know how it feels and how badly i wanted someone to care #its really nice having f/os that you share problems with.. i think thats why selfshipping helps me so much #if i cant find real people to relate to theres always a character that i can :) #ok sorry this is sooo sappy!!! im done now :D