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furiousgoldfish · 1 year

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One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.

Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.

Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.

However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.

I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.

Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.

It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.

#anger #rage #anger issues #cptsd #abused child #abuse symptoms #trauma symptoms #repressed anger #processing anger #anger builds boundaries #ptsd #traumatic anger #internalized anger #anger directed at self #not being allowed to bring angry creates self hatred #self love #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

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rottmntsimp · 4 months

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Donnie x (gn) reader, where the reader is feeling particularly self concious? feeling as tho they don't contribute enough to the team due to not having mystic powers or not knowing how to fight, maybe they feel as tho they get in the way a lot? I know donnie isn't always great with feelings but I feel like he would relate to this problem and would know how to solve it in his own special way?

Much needed reassurance

Donnie x Insecure!Reader

TW: A bit of cursing (projecting cuz it's just smth i do when feeling a strong emotion lmao), using the lord's name in vain ( bro im atheist idk if this is a tw?), uh light jealousy (APRIL MAH QUEEN <33), mentions of stitching up cuts ig, light angst with fluff end <3 Oh and a pretty rushed ending lmao. Plus some slight ADHD projecting?? [Yes I got this req in September. Shh-] Thanks to @sleepytime-fics for title inspiration <3 /p

Donnie

You wince, letting out a hiss, as your cut stung in pain. Peeking out from in between your fingers, you see Donnie’s frown, not processing any of the words he rambled on to you. He let go of your hand, putting down the bandages, before moving onto your face to disinfect the scrapes along the side of your face, making you flinch in pain, listening to him chastise you for how careless you were.

“-I thought I’d told you to stay in corners. They can’t sneak up on you, if your back is against a wall.”

Sinking deeper into the mattress of the bed, you sigh, running a finger over the bandaging on your forearm, only for Donnie to slap your hand away. Rolling your eyes, you let him patch up your face, avoiding eye contact, because you knew as soon as you did, shit would hit the fan.

After what seemed like hours of nonstop admonishing and multiple rolls of bandages (which in all reality was only a few minutes), Donnie finally packs up the first aid kit, having finished patching you up. You stretch a little, before reaching for your phone, which lay on the far end of the mattress. Just as you were about to pick it up, a metal arm suddenly swipes it off of the sheets, holding it up.

“Hey-”

As you go to reach for the phone again, he just brings the phone higher up, farther out of your reach.

“So…” the mutant started, busying himself with putting supplies back into the first aid kit. “Leo informed me you, uh…got jumped-”

“Please, don’t remind me-” you sighed, the memory of being unable to defend yourself flashing behind your closed eyelids. Not only had Leo been struggling to take care of his share of the ninjas, he had to make sure you weren’t getting hurt too.

Opening your eyes once more, you frown at the floor, listening to Donnie go on.

“Scoff,” Donnie scoffs, voicing his actions, “Well, if you let me finish, you would've heard me say ‘-you got jumped, are you feeling ok?’ It’s unlike you to get taken advantage of like this in combat.”

“Stop it,” You mumble, not wanting to hear about how you were unable to help, frustration rising as Donnie went on, not having heard you.

“I mean, it was just a couple of foot ninjas, and statistically speaking, you’ve done better before-”

“Donnie-” You frown, speaking a bit louder, but your words went unheard as Donnie’s rambling went on.

“I’m just thankful Nardo was there for you, don’t tell him I said that though-”

“Donnie!”

He freezes, facing you as his rambing comes to an abrupt end. Seeing the frown on your face as you shifted in your seat, your head held down, Donnie was riddled with guilt. “Were you,” he clears his throat, “Were you about to say something…?”

Silence.

That’s all he got in return, before soft mumbles could be heard, “It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve told me, it just won’t get in my head alright? I’m not a ninja, I’ve never gotten training-,” you muttered, as Donnie stopped what he was doing, focusing on your words- “Hell, I don’t even have a proper weapon!” you scoff, gesturing to Donnie’s tech bo, which lay messily on his desk, piles of unorganized blueprints and tech scattered around it. “Even April has one! April!”

“Well, that is an issue can easily be resolved by simply paying a visit to the local sports store-”

Donnie’s words were cut short by the glare you gave him, as you went on. “But that makes perfect sense, since she’s just…so perfect,” you chuckled dryly, jealousy creeping into your voice, or maybe it was just self-pity.

Running a hand through your hair, you pause to take a deep breath, knowing you’ve already said too much; but fuck it, if you were going to get reprimanded for something out of your control, might as well let out some of those pent up feelings…right?

The only noise that could be heard was the soft whirring of the vents filtering air, and the sound of you guys’ breathing. The silence was eating you up from the inside, uneasiness hanging in the air. After a whole two minutes of silent torture, Donnie lets out a sigh, biting his tongue so that he doesn’t say anything he might regret, before finally speaking again.

“Where…where are you going with this?”

“Fucking christ, Donnie-” you snap, your head in your hands, as you let out a strong exhale. Looking up at him, you took a deep breath, trying to stabilize your voice, as a lump formed in your throat.

You mumbled under your breath, trying not to break down as tears of frustration formed in the corners of your eyes, your vision slowly going blurry. Why? The hell if you knew, all you could process was the fact that you were practically useless, and if that wasn’t enough to make you break down…

“I’m not as strong as you guys and I sure as hell don’t have any mystic powers,” you say, as a tear finally falls. One turns to two, and two turns to four, and before you know it, tears streamed silently down your face, as you tried to stop; but you both knew it was pointless.

Panic flashed behind his eyes as he noticed you crying. What was it you do when people cry? Talk to them? No, no, he was pretty sure you give them space.

“I always need at least two people out with me when I join you guys for patrol, and I always get hurt, and end up being more of a burden than a help…” You clear your throat, cursing at yourself as your voice cracks.

Once again, silence.

Looking down at the floor, you sniffled, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe your tears away. White floods your vision, looking up, you see one of Donnie’s mechanical spider arms holding a tissue out in front of you, his eyes averted to the side.

Nodding your thanks, you blow your nose, as quiet ensued once more. You both sat there, your minds occupied by your own racing thoughts respectively.

After what seemed like hours, Donnie spoke up, his voice soft, but firm, as though he were deep in thought, “I…apologize, for not realizing how you felt earlier. I should have been more observant, I should have been able to notice how you felt about all of this much earlier on… I’m sorry for being a terrible partner-”

“Donnie-” You just sigh, the adrenaline from earlier wearing off, as a wave of exhaustion washed over you. “I’m not calling you a bad partner, I’m just saying that…maybe I shouldn’t go out on missions with you guys anymore. I’ll just hold you all back, and-”

“Hold us back?-” Donnie interrupts, his face going from that of understanding and thoughtful to utterly flabbergasted. Standing up from his seat on the mattress, he has a robotic arm shoot out of his battle shell and yank a chair over, as he took a seat across from your place on the mattress. He faced you, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, renewed confusion apparent, “You believe that you’re…holding us back?”

“...Well, yeah-”

“SCOFF! Never have I heard such malarkey- Oh Y/N, you are anything but deadweight!-”

You could only listen as he went on, giving up on trying to get your point across as he never gave you the chance to. Yet despite the affirmations, a nagging feeling stuck in the back of your mind, refusing to leave as he rambled on about your strengths, physically and intellectually.

His voice became nothing but a soft hum in the background, accompanying the buzz of the vents, as you spaced out. Why was he doing this? You aren’t worth the struggle, the effort… He’s always had to help you catch up, get up to speed on things. Homework, fights, hell- even simple things like staying on task, giving you something to do, to think about…

“-And just because you don't have mystic potential, doesn't mean you aren't a valuable asset to our group. There are plenty of other ways you make up for it..."

The nerve of this hypocrite; saying you’re useful while still in doubt of his own abilities.

"I mean," Donnie went on, putting a hand on your shoulder, trying to get you to look at him, "It's not like you're the only human in our little posse. April's our friend too, and she's just as important as the rest of us-"

"She doesn't count-" You snap, your voice raising to a higher volume. Donnie flinched, his hand retracting in shock. Wincing, you mumble a quiet apology, feeling a wave of disappointment and regret wash over you before going on.

"April's been training with you guys since she’s met you, she doesn't count…" You mumbled, trying to keep control of how loud you spoke. “She’s been there since the beginning, basically on you guys’ level. She’s known you all since you were young, grew up with you guys, trained with you guys, fights with you guys…all while kicking ass and looking good…all I do is stand in the back and cheer you guys on…”

“Oh my sweet Y/N,” Donnie sighs, looking up at you again. “What will it take for you to understand that moral support is better than no support whatsoever?” The pleading look in his eyes, the desperation in his voice for you to understand just how valuable you are didn’t go overlooked by you, as you just sighed in response.

“I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, darling. You are as valuable to our bunch as any of us are. Learning to fight takes time, time which you never gave yourself, which I’m gladly willing to change.

“And as for getting hurt…” Donnie put a hand on yours, making you look at him as he let himself smile, “I guess we’ll just have to start training.”

Taglist [ask if you want to be added!]:

@lemme-be-cringe-damnit @sleepytime-fics @ray-of-midnight-storm @hamthepan @charismakat

#simps fics #rottmnt x reader #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #2018 donnie x reader #donnie x reader #tmnt x reader #rise of the tmnt fanfiction #tmnt 2018 x reader #rottmnt #save rottmnt

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waltzingwithspirit · 8 months

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PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM THE SUPER BLUE MOON

Left: 111; Right 333 Disclaimer: Take what resonates and leave the rest. You are not allowed to copy my work under any circumstances. All personal readings are paid. All thing mentioned in disclaimer in my pinned posts applies here.

🌑111🌑

You are worried about something that you have just started or will begin soon. It could be college, job offers, but something has you worried. You are doubting everything suddenly and no matter what you do or where you go, it creeps up on you. You need to observe, the more you reject the awareness of the negative thoughts, it feels the more powerful they get. Do not think yourself as the thinker of the thoughts, you are a mere observer, so identify as such, tell them, now that they have spoken, now you are aware of them , and later say ‘ I do not consent to this’ and let it be. The key is to simply observe not control and when they do not get the attention they so wanted, they’ll leave you be. You are extremely intelligent, mental gymnastics is your thing, some of you are good chess players, logical, love to deduce things. Here you are being told to use your creativity, you have being given a tool, whatever that might be in your specific case, you are being told to use to to go to calm waters, or the ruffled ones will wash all over you. Do not be afraid of the shadow, see it, learn from it. Acceptance is key here, for a lot of you, denial is your coping mechanism, but it is not working in your favour anymore. You have suppressed feelings for too long and now they want to come up, clear limiting beliefs, become aware of them. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SHADOW WORK JOURNEY(for a lot of you). There is more to the problem, like you can’t even put your finger on it, there is self doubt, you go one way and the other seems more like it, you are in a mental maze, what is your strength is not applying here and you my friend, are frustrated, FIND A NEW ANGLE, A NEW WAY. For you are dealing with the subconscious, not an easy fae. (The messages won’t stop, if I go on, I’ll go on forever) COMMENT' 111' to claim healing. 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading to heal your shadows.🌙

🌕333🌕

Word channeled: GRATITUDE JOUNRAL.

You have a lack mindset. No matter how much balance you achieve, or growth, you focus on what you don’t have and let that affect how you feel about the rest. The main important thing is money, you feel insecure about it, at this point, you just want a lottery or someone to spoil you. You are tired and desperate. You are being told to see abundance in other areas, like look at this example: person sitting in the shade of the tree crying, all they think is if I had some money, I could buy an apple, what he doesn’t realises is the tree he is sitting underneath is the apple tree. You have it right there. Sometimes, abundance is you, your skills to get the fruit. Whether you buy a dress or make one, at the end you still have a dress, and during the process, you still have to make effort, whether at the dress or somewhere else. BASIC NECESSITIES ARE OF COURSE NECESSARY, but this is not we are talking about. This is different, someone blaming and self pitying. You are being told to keep a gratitude journal, the more you thank for recieving the more the universe gives. It only understands the word yes. So if you say ‘I am poor’ it is so be it. So affirm good things especially while eating, me mindful to not watch anything while eating because it goes straight to the food, whatever they are saying on the tv. ESPECIALLY NO NEWS AND CRIME DRAMAS. The good news is you are almost there, almost there to reaching equilibrium, at the end it’s all about balance and trust me when I say, it’s not far away. Keep focusing on the good, be happy with what you have while working towards what you want. This is healthy attitude, remember the universe does not respond well to desperation. COMMENT' 333' to claim healing. 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading to heal your shadows.🌙

EL TAROT

#pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #pac reading #pick a card reading #ask response #pick a photo #pick a card #pac tarot #free tarot #blue moon #blue

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girlactionfigure · 6 months

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AFFECT OF HAMAS FOOTAGE ON ME

LEE KERN

NOV 8

Only woke up from nightmares twice last night. I’m getting better…

Last week I attended a private press screening of footage from the Hamas atrocities. It was 47 minutes of footage recorded by Hamas themselves and captured on CCTV. You can read an account of it here. Attendees weren’t allowed to take phones or recording equipment into the screening. I had a notepad and pen. I sat down in my seat. The entire wall in front of me was a screen.

The film started. The footage was objectively distressing - but I was surprised and impressed with myself that I was immediately okay watching it. I was focused so hard on writing down what I saw that I wasn’t emotionally connecting with the footage. I didn’t have time. I had a job to do. I didn’t gaze too deeply at the HD quality images onscreen as I had to look down at my notepad to scribble notes. I felt like crying a couple of times - when they did something to a baby - or when they did something to a child - but I pushed that down to continue the job - and I was impressively okay.

I left the screening not really remembering much of what I’d seen. I thought, “Oh wow - I got away with that okay. I can’t even picture anything I saw.”

Later I had a pizza and a walk along the sea front. I made a guy in a shop laugh.

That night I burst into tears.

The next day I had to go get a sim card for my phone and I pulled my hat low over my eyes as I burst into uncontrollable sobs while walking the streets. There was sunshine and people sat outside cafes and I was just unable to stop myself sobbing. Deep sobs coming from my chest and my eyes streaming. I sniffled like a child while walking down the street. I couldn’t make it go away. I thought one good cry would get it out my system, but more whimpers and tears just came out of my chest. I was whimpering. And there were images in my mind now. I remembered everything. I saw things Hamas did. Things I don’t have the language or life experience to compute. I was baffled. I don’t understand what I saw. But every part of my body on a cellular level was rejecting it as the most wrong thing that could happen under the sun. It was an accumulaton of every piece of evil since Cane killed Abel. Hamas had mastered the art of sin. And they had conquered morality. They stood in a place where humans were not meant to stand. Where they are no longer human. They were free of all human shackles. They had achieved a power that transcended human frailty but became monstrous in the process.

Things went like this for the next few days. I’d break into an instantaneous sob. I often didn’t even have an image in my mind when I burst into tears. The screening would be mentioned and something in me happened that bypassed any kind of thought. My head would just bow in tears. I went to stay with some family. They picked me up and within ten seconds of being in the car I burst into tears when asked what I’d been up to. Being in a family home and around normal things was a useful antidote. But I’d still break into debilitating sobs when I recalled what Hamas did or if someone tried to speak to me about it.

It was also confusing and annoying. I wasn’t depressed! But yet I’d break into tears. I didn’t understand it. I wasn’t depressed but I’d cry like a broken man.

I’d had no sleep since I got to Israel. That obviously didn’t help. I’d visited a kibbutz that had experienced a massacre. That didn’t help. But still I thought I’d be okay.

The video fucked me up against me will.

The human brain has built no immunity against the things Hamas filmed.

It put some kind of splinter in my head. But simply being aware of that and wanting it to be out didn’t mean it would come out.

I thought I’d improve as days went by but my outbursts seemed to be just as intense. I worried if things continued like this I’d have some kind of mental breakdown.

I didn’t want to keep seeing what they did to that man.

I was also frustrated because I’d come to Israel to help and I didn’t want to be taken out of the fight with a mental injury. The particular skillset I have means I have to stay immersed in all the ugly shit. I wish I could just pack food for soldiers. If I can communicate well it’s because I’m sensitive and stuff flows into me. I become what I see. People have been demanding my time and I’m trying to help as much as possible but it was getting difficult to be useful to them or myself. In this spirit I didn’t have any macho pride. I’d openly tell people I wasn’t feeling great and didn’t feel shy if I cried in front of them. I didn’t really have a choice. I just wanted to try and find a way to temporarily shovel shit out of my head so I can keep being of service.

The other night I had to move accommodation. I hired an airbnb but then a friend of a friend offered for me to stay at their place whilst they were away. I cancelled the airbnb and I arrived at the accommodation. It was night and I met a neighbour who had the key. We went up the dark stairwell and everything felt off. It was a world of flickering lights and mosquitos. We stood outside the apartment as she searched for the key. There was this terrible noise above us. “What’s that?” “That’s the arabs upstairs drilling.” We went inside and the occupants had left the house a total mess. It all felt grim to me. And the sound of drilling continued upstairs. And the world felt like cockroaches. And I knew once the door shut behind me this would be the most awful night alone. So I plucked up the courage and overcame my politeness and said I can’t stay there. I called a friend and asked them to find me a hotel.

Whilst that was being arranged I waited in the apartment of the woman with the keys and her baby. Toys were everywhere. I was trying to politely respond to her conversation as a cartoon about trains was playing, but I was quietly managing a panic attack as I saw in my mind dead people on her floor amongst her baby’s toys and lying by the fluttering curtains.

Arranging the hotel was taking time and it was getting late.

In that time a family friend phoned and I started crying to them. Their daughter then messaged and said I could stay with them so I stayed at hers for the night, cried a few times in conversation, and had my first rocket experience - going into a safe room twice. I got about one hours sleep after trying to kill some mosquitos at four am.

The next afternoon I got a bit better because I tried not to talk about war things with people. I tried to give more territory in my mind to healthy things. I got an hours sleep in the day. I felt better when I transitioned from fear to healthy anger in a video - which was a relief because I was pushing my feelings outwards rather than crumbling inwards. I spoke to a lawyer friend who has worked on cases involving war crimes and has seen things. I got a good night’s sleep and felt good in the morning. I had a few moments of anxiety overcome me during the day. But it feels like they’re becoming less frequent and less powerful. I did cry again after speaking to a pair of siblings whose sister has been kidnapped and who asked me if I’d seen the video. When we hugged goodbye in tears it felt like the first real hug I’ve had since I’ve been here.

A trauma therapist kindly arranged to see me for free. And time passing seems to be helping. I’m glad I reacted badly because it means I’m a normal healthy human being. A healthy person should be horrified. Only an insane or wicked person could be comfortable with the crimes Hamas committed.

I don’t know what the language is yet to describe what I saw. I’m not sure what the vocabulary is. They did things that I don’t understand. I don’t understand how they did the things they did. I saw them do things and I don’t understand how they did it. To be able to do what they did is almost a superpower. It’s a superpower I don’t want. To be able to do they things they did and feel nothing but happiness. To be able to inflict that level of cruelty and be utterly indifferent to the people crying.

This is an account of how I’ve been affected. I wasn’t even there. I’m not even a family member of someone taken hostage. I wasn’t on a kibbutz hiding. I haven’t had to bury someone.

God only knows how the victims will get through this. I can only hope He does know and He doesn’t keep it to Himself.

We need to help the victims. There has to be an international coalition of love to help them through this.

As for the terrorists?

I don’t believe in the death penalty, but I believe those Hamas involved in the atrocities have to die. I hope the IDF kill them all. I hope they die in the sun or underground in darkness. I hope they die awake or asleep. I hope they die by bullets or bombs. They cannot be allowed to infect the world with their actions or words. I still don’t understand what I saw in the footage Hamas shot. I can only repeat myself: there is no vocabulary for it. It is almost a superpower to be able to behave the way they did. A superpower I don’t want. To commit such acts of evil - such inventive cruelty - and to have no pangs of empathy or conscience. They look like us and they have hands and legs - but they’re not us. They have eyes but the windows into their souls go into a charnel house where they wash themselves with skulls. We can’t share this world with whatever they are or whatever is inside them. They didn’t open a gate to hell. They are hell. And hell smiled to see its work. They want to devour anything that is not them. Which is any human incapable of doing what they did to women, children and babies for thirty six hours.

They mastered the art of sin and it is something no human should have ever learned to do, because now there are monsters among us. We cannot share the planet with them.

#Israel #October 7 #hamas Massacre #Lee Kern

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torturedtraveler · 2 months

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normal people

I would like to start this with a blog post I saw and really liked the other day.

“Normal people is about vulnerability and the importance of intimacy. It explores miscommunication and the power unsaid words have on people. Such a deeply emotional, sensitive, gentle and beautifully written and directed story about two young adults - who find such enormous solace in one another, that cannot be found within anyone else they meet throughout their lives. Connell and Marianne are two twin flames who fall in and out each other lives, mostly because of their lack of clearness and transparency which feels frustrating and even overwhelming at times. What often happens is that Connell and Marianne overthink almost everything, but don’t express their thoughts because they think they have the other person’s thoughts already figured out. But thinking is not the same as communicating. They get so caught up in their assumptions and thoughts that completely forget to do the simplest thing, which is - to ask. Although they have a lot of misunderstandings the love they feel for each other is terrifyingly unmatched. All throughout this novel it becomes clear that the two characters have a really unique and special spark, they and their relationship is complex, but between them exists a certain normalcy that cannot be understood by others. Connell and Marianne constantly try out things that make them feel weird or normal, but towards the conclusion of the novel it appears that they have accepted that their favorite version of normal is the version that exists within their relationship, when they’re with each other. This story explores perfectly but in a very realistic way, the importance of growing up and finding love within ourselves and the people around us. Normal People shows us how societal expectations and insecurities can affect us and our relationships forever.” @iwishyouroses

Very short paragraph yet sums up the novel so well. It gave me a sort of framework on understanding the novel better.

The major theme of the story is self discovery, is growing up, is changing, as a person and in life. One of the major thing that they focus on is the parallel between high school them and university them. The author created a stark contrast between the characters by creating a parallel between them in two different time periods. In high school, Connell was majorly popular while Marianne was widely hated. Connell constantly had a group of friends around him and Marianne did not. She was a loner, hated not only by her peers but also her family. But everything completely flipped in university. Marianne “got into college and got pretty”, she has a group of friends around her all the time and everyone found her so likable. Connell on the other hand, did not have many friends, he felt as though he had no one to talk to and constantly felt very lonely.

Despite everything, they have always been around one another. They always have each other. It seems as though they cannot stay away from each other and show up in each other’s lives no matter what. But throughout the story, even though they were extremely intimate with each other, and really only enjoyed each other’s companies, it feels as though they are not that close to each other. The major issue that exists between the both of them is the lack of communication. It shocks me how throughout their years together, the miscommunication has not frustrated them so much that they feel the need to kill each other, because I most certainly have, wanted to strangle the both of them.

We see so much of their individual thought processes throughout the story, but they have never communicated that to each other. It often feels as though we are the Gods, looking into their lives constantly, being able to understand what they were thinking, but somehow the two of them who are in each other’s lives do not know what the other is thinking. It’s so fucking frustrating.

My take on the reason behind their miscommunication, is the insecurity that is rooted in the both of them. They live in their heads most of the time and overthink everything.

Marianne’s insecurity is reflected in her crave for love and affection from Connell. Connell at one point in her life was the only person that could “stand” her and “love” her, she wants to please him and would do whatever she could to make him happy. My interpretation is that, she is so scared of Connell leaving her, literally so fucking terrified to the point where she would do anything in desperation to make him stay. She has on multiple occasions asked Connell to act violently towards her during intimate scenes, to which Connell refused. Even in other romantic relationships she was involved in, she wanted her partner to hit her during intimate scenes. It’s like giving others a sense of control over her body or a sense of dominancy makes Marianne feels safe, that they won’t leave her. It may be her coping mechanism for her deep rooted insecurity.

Connell has never connected deeply with anyone in his life. Even in high school, when he was surrounded by people, by friends, he never felt like he could talk to anyone. Until he started interacting with Marianne. Marianne became his dock, the person he could always go to whenever he wants, he knew she would always be waiting for him in the same place. But he was scared, he was scared that if people knew about them it would ruin his reputation. He asked Marianne to keep it a secret from the start, and Marianne obeyed, seeing that he was the only person that would actually talk to her. He was so scared of how people would see him and what people would talk about him. He felt safe with Marianne, safe as in he knew that no matter what he does, she wouldn’t leave, so even if he knew that he was hurting her feelings, he kept on doing it. When his friends told him that everyone knew he was romantically involved with her, he was shocked, but also surprised that no one called him out or treated him differently. It was then that he realized, no one really gives a shit about what he does. He felt especially lonely in college after the fallout with Marianne, because he is no longer in a familiar place with familiar people, and there is no pristine reputation to keep up, because no one knew who he was. Even though in college they reconciled, and Marianne was involved in his life again, his mental health kept deteriorating. His entire life he never had a clear sense of who he is, an identity, a mental image. He is confused with himself, this confusion only intensified in college, when he was away from his friends in high school, his mom in Sligo, everything that was familiar in his life away from him. He not only felt confused with himself, or lonely, he felt like he didn’t fit in with people, in his course or in college in general, all these factors piled on his mental burden and he couldn’t take it anymore, he went to a counselor, and was later diagnosed with depression.

The most beautiful and precious thing about this story is the “salvation” between them. How they both were in a way each other’s “anchor”, each other’s “light”, each other’s “safe place”, away from the messes that were Marianne’s family and her relationships, and Connell’s mental health. I would like to point out a view of mine, is that nobody should be anyone’s salvation in life, because depending on someone else to heal your trauma or wounds does not work and often leads to disasters. When I say that they are each other’s “salvation”, I mean that they make each other feel better, and that they somehow always end up with each other when they are at their lowest. For example, Connell was there when Marianne ended things horribly with Jamie, or near the end, when her brother broke her nose, and the first person Marianne could think of was Connell, and he came to her “rescue”. Or when Connell felt depressed and Marianne would be the only one there for him.

To end this, I would like to add one more point to the blog post I started this with, that there’s always a certain person in our lives that would change our lives forever. In this case, Marianne was the one in Connell’s life and Connell was the one in Marianne’s life. Though this person may not stay in our lives forever, they will leave a mark in our lives permanently and we will always think back to them at moments of our lives, how great they made us feel, how they broke our hearts at one point, or just reminiscing the times we spent together. We went through so many ups and downs with them, we flipped our hearts inside out and showed them our most vulnerable side, and most importantly, we loved them with every inch of our hearts. But as we grow up, we realize, some people just aren’t meant to stay in our lives. And we learn not only to let go of them, but ourselves as well because it’s only then that we can truly move on.

#normal people #marianne sheridan #connell waldron #connell x marianne

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flailypichu · 6 months

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Everyone collects themselves after that near death (not even near death, they watched him die and reform) experience and decide to put off the trip to the moon for at least a day, just to breathe and process. And make sure Ashton doesn't explode again. Like, really make sure.

Fearne doesn't make eye contact with him, each clop of her hooves sounding deep in his body as she gets further away. She links arms with Imogen and Laudna, who glance back at them with twin worried and frustrated expressions. Ashton doesn't think he burned any bridges today, but a few of them are heavily singed to match the rest of him.

FCG and Chetney help them up to their rooms, where Lord de Rolo has banished them to recuperate, Lady Allura still stunned behind him while he gave the order, face blank as she processes what could have happened. The smaller members of the group aren't honestly that much help when it comes to his movement, but if FCG could be pale, they would be, so Ashton lets them hold his hand and appreciates the warm flow of healing still being pumped into him.

And that leaves Orym. Quiet by nature, Ashton is disconcerned to find him near silent. He appears to have retreated into some sort of training, because even though he can see Orym moving slightly behind him, the halfling makes no noise. It's not until they reach the room Ashton was sharing with FCG that Orym says "I'll take them. I bought some healing potions before this, that I can use if we need to. You two get some rest, that took a lot out of you, Letters."

FCG pushes one last burst of healing into Ashton and squeezes their hand. With a firmness rarely heard, they say, "we are going to talk about that later. When I've gathered my thoughts." Ashton wants to bring him in for a hug, but the body language says he wouldn't be welcome. Tomorrow, maybe.

The two of them transfer his care to Orym and Chetney gives a small wave, pulling a lingering FCG into his room. Ashton can hear him muttering something to FCG but doesn't try to make it out, focus narrowing to the small figure standing like a statue in front of him.

Orym also hasn't met his eyes once since he opened them. Ashton waits.

With a hand on his thigh, Orym pushes him into the room and shuts the door. The silence presses in on them, and Ashton almost breaks the silence, but knows any words he wants to say need to take a back seat to whatever is brewing in Orym.

"What was that." Orym's voice comes flat like a bit of flint, wanting to be struck. Ashton chooses his words carefully.

"The stronger I am, the better chance we have to win this fight. The shard made me stronger."

"The shard made you dead." And Ashton does flinch at that. A tiny convulsion of muscles he doesn't have, at the pain in Orym's voice that's seeping into the coldness. "You exploded, and you reformed, and we watched while only two of us could do anything at all." His fists shake by his sides and with effort he flexes them and sits down on the bed. Ashton doesn't sit next to him, but on the floor in front, forcing himself to look up into eyes that swell with tears. Ashton makes an aborted movement towards Orym's hands, stopping themselves at the last moment, only for Orym to close the gap and squeeze.

Tears begin to slip silently down his cheeks and Ashton doesn't regret his choice - he's alive, he has more power with which to help his friends - but he regrets that it caused these tears. "I'm alive, I made it. Orym-" and he rocks back with the force of Orym throwing his arms around them. Long buried instincts kick in and he lifts his arms to return the embrace. Orym has always been careful with his touches, especially with Ashton, and the intensity of this one gives him pause. Orym pulls back and runs his hands through his hair, making it stick up with sweat.

"You idiot -" and suddenly Ashton is being kissed for the second time that day. After the shard settled he'd felt warmth flood his body, and then recede to a gentle simmer. It comes rushing back with the feel of Orym's chapped lips pressed to his, and he rests his hands on Orym's waist, unable to do anything more than helplessly kiss back.

And as soon as it started, Orym retreats and is halfway to the door before Ashton stands up with some notion of stopping him. But Orym stops at the threshold, turning back to say, "I don't know if what I'm feeling for you is going anywhere, but you dying before I can figure it out isn't going to help anyone. Stop throwing yourself into danger, Ashton. Please." And with that he's gone.

Ashton stands stock still, lips buzzing, new arm tingling. "Well, fuck."

#cr3 #ashrym #Critical Role #Writing this on my phone with blurry eyes because my computer died and I have to get this scene out of my head #I'll clean it up later #What the fuck was this episode

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 5 months

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See, this is the frustrating thing. Catradora COULD'VE been good enemies to lovers but, like someone wrote elsewhere, if both of them thought that the other was brainwashed.

"Catra, what the Horde is doing is wrong! Come with me, we'll escape together!" "What? No! Did the princesses brainwash you? Oh no they brainwashed you. Look, I'll just bring you back home and it'll all be okay."

"Catra still believes that the Horde is doing the right thing. I need to defeat her but I don't want to hurt her too badly." "Adora still believes that the Princesses aren't the villains here. I need to defeat her but I don't want to hurt her too badly."

Cue whole episodes of vaguely piney battles where both of them are holding back and eyeing each other longingly.

(Someone wrote somewhere that the incest could've been avoided if Adora was raised by Hordak and Catra by SW. This would also tie Hordak's and Adora's arcs together via "okay so I was born to become a weapon/soldier but fuck that I'm so much more than that.")

Princess prom allowing them to temporarily forget about the conflict and have fun like they used to. The dance is more reciprocal than "Catra smirking down at clearly uncomfortable Adora."

Shadow Weaver: alright, Catra, you suck at bringing Adora back. Let's just brainwash- uuuh, I mean magically undo the brainwashing the princesses did to her and bring her home. "But I don't wanna brainwash he-" DID I STUTTER.

Catra targeting Glimmer and Bow bc she perceives them as fake friends who have brainwashed Adora. All the spiel about "they don't really care about you they care about She-Ra's power" isn't manipulation, but something she genuinely believes.

Catra advancing at force captain and taking on more power, but in the process gradually realising that what the Horde is doing IS wrong. Cue an internal crisis because oops, everything she's known all her life is a lie. No, no! She refuses to accept that (Aka breakdown time) and kickstarts the faulty portal.

The portal Catra is twisted and deeply unlike herself, at her absolute and utter worst.

Post-Portal, Catra wakes up and, instead of doubling down, realises that she made a MASSIVE FUCK OFF MISTAKE and spends all of season 4 working on her redemption arc, having moral crises, beginning to feel more and more terrible about the past 3 seasons.

She joins the alliance at the end of s4 (gasp, cliffhanger!) and the rest do the cast slowly grow to trust her throughout the season. That's when she realises that Adora really wasn't brainwashed and APOLOGISES for all the things she did and thought.

"Hey Catra?" "Yeah?" "It's good to have you back." [cue blushing as C and A realise how badly they missed each other now that they have no more reasons to fight]

Catra being gradually incorporated into the best friend squad and she, Bow AND Glimmer all help Adora break through HPrime's virus thingy in a parallel to season 1 where Adora is supported by ALL her friends, not just her gf.

Hooray, the evil is defeated! Uh, what now? Okay, either they come to the conclusions that they lcoe each other separately and confess after HPrime's been defeated and there's nothing in their way anymore, or there's like a mid-combat confession played for laughs like "this is mad sweet of you but we don't have time for this!" "WE MIGHT NOT SURVIVE TO HAVE THE TIME LATER" and a tender moment after the battle where maybe Catra is patching Adora up in contrast of all the times they spent beating the crap out of each other.

Shit, Bow could tentatively give her tips on how to be a good friend!

She'd have a harder time with Glimmer because Glimmer never forgave her for the Angela thing, but Catra tries and feels bad and maybe even begs her for forgiveness. (please, I didn't know it would come to that. You can punch me if you want.) And feeling genuine remorse. (My mother figure was shit. Yours looked okay. I'm really sorry for taking that away from you.) Etc etc

This really isn't a hard character arc to plot, Nate. Look, I did it in like 15 minutes while dicking around at work. Easy peasy.

this! all of this.

(also i was the one who suggested the idea of hordak being adora's parental figure)

#spop critical #spop #spop salt #spop criticism #spop discourse #she ra #anti catradora #anti catra #anti spop #anti c//a #antic//a #anticatra #anticatradora

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eeunoia · 6 months

Text

ENHYPEN Series

sinag — psh.

prelude

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

pairings: park sunghoon x oc

word count: 2k

warnings: a contains violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.

note: leave some messages on my ask! thank you so much for reading.

here ‹ teaser | chapter one › here

You screamed as you sat yourself up from your bed awoken from sleep by a terrible nightmare. Shaking a bit, hair messy and drenched with cold sweat, your eyes wanders around the dimly lit room anxiously. One of your hands slowly trailed towards your chest and clasped your frantically pounding heart. Being acutely aware of what happened in the dream made you so upset.

Tears formed at the corner of your eyes, unable to even think properly. These are just one of those days when you dream or more like relive what happened to you that horrifying night. Memories you wish to entomed at the back of your mind and eventually forget about it. If you can only get rid of it like magic, you would trade anything. You stood up and head towards your bathroom, bowing to your fate to go on your day like nothing’s wrong.

After taking a shower and dressed up to fully freshen yourself up before going to the office, you stopped by your kitchen for a coffee. While waiting for the beans to be ready, your mind went blank and to feel frazzled without even starting your day is unbelievable for you. The nightmare sure worked and sucked all of your energy for today.

The ride on the way to the company you work at was surprisingly short, probably because you are still out of it. When you arrived at your floor, Laurie, one of your team members, looked in distress. She was leaning over her table, hands resting over her head while staring blankly at nowhere. At the sight of you, a hint of irritation flashes through her face.

“Finally!” she exclaimed, jumping off from her seat then start dragging you towards the pantry of the office. Taking advantage of the early time and having the whole room for yourselves.

“What happened? You don’t look okay.” it was funny coming from you when you aren’t too.

She sighs and rolls her eyes, “What happened last night on your date?” her way of saying it was like an interogation. The bitterness through her tone was clear. Your brows folds and draws together, causing a crease to your forehead. It was hard for you to put the puzzle together right away.

“Huh? Last night?” your words stall at the attempt of remembering of what you did the past night.

Your brows arched after a couple of seconds, “Ah! You mean with Mr. Kang? It’s not a date, Laurie. Its a work dinner.”

The unpleasant look on her face shows off her frustrations about something. “Well something obviously happened and you did something that upsets Mr. Kang! Maybe he thought it was a date! Did he confess? Did you reject him?” she sounded worked up, trying to make you throw up answers she’s been deprived off. It was too many for you to even process it one by one.

“He invited me to go on a trip outside of the country and I declined it saying I have a boyfriend—”

“He did what?!” her eyes were big and even held both of your arms, shaking you a little. You blinked a couple of times, confused and started to feel uneasy of her behavior. You two aren’t the closest friends and she’s very vocal of her totally not liking you. She often tries to make malicious comments about how Mr. Kang has always too kind with you, envying.

“He likes you, Ae!” she says. “And now that you rejected him, he’s punishing all of us. Thank you very much!” the sarcasm was too much that it hurts your ears.

You are still confused, but you shift your weight on your other leg before trying to catch on what’s happening. She lets go of you and leaned over the counter before staring blankly at the wall like a new found habit. She looks like she’s about to go crazy any minute now.

“Why? What did he do?” the eagerment now passed on you, worried of what he possibly did that upsets Laurie this much.

She glanced at your direction, eyes shooting glares, “He wants us to start again with our campaign advertisement.”

Now that made you utterly shock. You refuse to believe what you heard from her. Closing your distance with her, you stepped once and gently grabs her arm to make her look at you.

“He can’t do that! He just approved it yesterday.”

She pursed her lips and shoved your hold off. ”He just did, Ae. He calls me a while ago and he looked so pissed.” she then lets out a strained sigh. Even without saying it straightly, you are being blamed. She’s blaming you.

“I can’t believe you flirts with him and then rejects him! Now all of us have to suffer because of you!” the veins over her neck pops out in frustration.

“I neve did that, Laurie.” you tried telling her, but she just rolls her eyes as she cross her arms.

“Whatever! Everyone here knew you’re suspicious.” she mumbles the last line. You heard it, tho and you aren’t surprised.

Your shoulder fell too as you leaned over the counter beside her. Eyes shut for a while you throw your head back and silently wished all of this are not happening. The exhaustion you were feeling before going here just got worst. This day isn’t going well for you already.

“There you are,” the two of you snaps your head at one of your workmate when she talked.

“Mr. Kang is looking for you, Ms. Lee.”

You stood up straight as you glanced at Laurie for a while. She showed an unpleasant expression before rolling her eyes in defeat. You told the girl that you will go in a bit and so she left. Laurie turns and face you.

“Go and try to change his mind! Do something, Aelia! Fix the mess you created!” her requests came out arrogantly and gave a short nod.

You feel bad that she’s making up stuff and that she’s blaming you, but you admit you felt bad for the whole team. Maybe you are at fault at some way and so you should really do something about it. You can’t just let it all put into waste.

Determined to stood your ground, you walks towards the office of your boss. His secretary’s restless expression on her face indicates that he’s probably in a foul mood. It somehow made you feel anxious.

“He’s waiting for you.” she stood up and opted to open the door for you, “He’s in a very bad mood, Ae.” she whispers under her breath as a warning that made your knees almost wobble on your way inside.

He was at his swivel chair, a folder on his hand, forehead creased while reading whatever document it is. He didn’t spare you a glance at all. Its starting to make you wonder if the guy from last night’s dinner and him are the same person. Thinking that you made someone upset pinches something in you. You hate that feeling at all.

“Good morning, Mr. Kang.” you tried to sound enthusiastic to somehow lift the mood, but to your dismay he was unresponsive.

“I want you to prepare your passport.” he stated that made you blink twice. His words didn’t sink in, totally not processing for you. Did he mention passport? Your passport?

“Sir?” you calls, baffled on the spot.

He finally lifts his gaze and eyes you with a placid look on his face. “Are you deaf? I said prepare your passport. I will send you in another country for a business meeting and a seminar.”

You have no idea if he’s just talking too fast or his words are just nonsense that’s why you cannot understand any of it. Pretty sure it was the latter as you can’t help but to start feeling irritated. He can be upset about last night, yes. But this is terribly unrighteous.

“I’m sorry Sir, but I can’t—”

“You can’t?” he cuts you off then lets out a scoff, “Are you saying I promoted the wrong person to be the team leader?” his tone taunting, sounding more like a challenge.

“N-No, Sir. It’s just I can’t go on a seminar and leave my team with all the works due.” your reason definitely makes a point, but your boss sure is determined on making you suffer.

“I don’t care. This is an order from your boss. Are you seriously reasoning out to me? I didn’t know you are this arrogant.”

You pursed your lips and tried hard not to say anything that can upset him even more. He closed the folder he was holding and tilts his head to the side.

“Its either you go to that seminar or you put your resignation letter on my table tomorrow morning.”

Your shoulder fell at what you heard. He held you at gun point. You worked hard to earn the position you have right now, you did everything you could to be here and so you surely didn’t want lose this. If you think about it, there’s a lot of benefits if you go to this seminar. You’ll learn from it and it will be good to your work records, all in all you’ll gain from it. It’s just that after what happened from your last trip which is years passed already, you developed fear of going on out of the country trips. The mental trauma it caused you left a deep scar that just by thinking of being in a place you barely know cause you panic attacks. It was terrible.

Laurie was hopeful when you walked inside your office. She peeks through the cubicle like a meer cat and gaze at you with full curiosity.

“What? What did he said?” she asked.

You sighed heavily and crashed yourself over your swivel chair. The frustration, annoyance and stress slowly spoiling your mood you couldn’t even make yourself into saying it to her. Some of your team members were there as well, looking and waiting for an update. They already assumed that it didn’t go well based on how you’re looking right now.

“He tasked me to attend a business meeting and seminar outside of the country.” you mumbles that made Laurie even more confused.

“What? Why is he sending you there on a trip while we suffer here to revise everything?” she exclaimed, she’s so upset yet again.

The glares on her eyes didn’t slipped off of you. Its not surprising anymore. It often happen whenever the boss favors you, she always thinks that you are charming your way to success and that you’re being unfair. That was totally untrue. You know to yourself how much you worked hard for this. Some people just couldn’t keep their thoughts to themselves, judging you wrongly out of envy.

“It’s not a trip, Laurie. Its for business.” you tried to tell her, but she rolls her eyes and arrogantly sat back down.

“Whatever! This is all your fault in the first place! You’re making us re-do all of it while you go on a trip!” she started blabbering that made some of your workmates to stare.

You wanted to tell her that she’s wrong and that it would be more traumatic for you, but you refrained yourself. Instead, you stood up and went out to go to the bathroom. Thankfully, nobody was there so you can breath and calm down. Your mind are on a mess as of the moment. There’s just so much going on. You wanted to let it all out and to tell someone about it.

“Mom,” you calls out after she picks up the call.

“What is it? I’m playing poker with my friends! Why are you calling, Ae?!” obviously, she wasn’t interested. When did she ever took interest about your life or to you in general? Despite of it, you tried to still open up to her.

“D-Do you think I should quit my job? I’m really having a hard time.” your voice cracked while saying it and just by hearing you, a normal person will feel sympathy. It was clear as a water that you are having a hard time.

“What do you mean quit your work?! Are you crazy?! How will we pay our debts after sending you to college? What about our rent, our food? You are so selfish! You only think of yourself!” she was outrageous.

You felt your heart ache at her words. Not only that your Mom didn’t listen to your words, but she only thinks of herself. You are thankful for them for sending you to college despite pursuing the degree you don’t really like. But after graduating and working, your parents started depending on you like you’re their bank or something. They stopped working and just left everything under your care.

“I’m s-sorry, Mom.”

You have a lot of things you wanted to tell your Mother. None of it came out from your mouth. As always, you kept it to yourself. This is one of the things you hate. Your best friend always tells you that sometimes, you’re being too selfless. That you’re such a people pleaser.

A tear left your eye as you try to get your shit together.

“Stop being ungrateful and be a good daughter to your parents! Don’t give me headaches!” and with that she ended the call.

Your parents are not very fond of you. Ever since you were a child, you are by yourself. You learned things alone. Before, you tried to convince yourself that its because your parents are busy working to support your needs. Later on, it slowly dawned in you that maybe they don’t really love you. They just did what they need to do in order for them to have someone they can depend on. And they did. They raised someone with a soft heart, someone who values family so much that she will turn blind-eye to everything they do.

It was tiring, but you have no other choice. They are your family and even if they’re cold, they are all you have. Sometimes, you just wished you will find someone who will love you the way you love them.

“Park Sunghoon.” the young man lifts his eyes from the papers he was reading over to the old man who entered his office. The frown on his face tells Sunghoon that he’s clearly upset.

“You have no business in being here, Mr. Kwon.” he tried to sound casual.

“I will not tolerate this behavior anymore! My daughter doesn’t deserve this humiliation!”

Sunghoon sighs and settles the folder down to his table. “You’re the one who kept on putting her in that place. I already told you, I will never marry her.” his strict blank eyes watches him carefully, unfazed.

“You are a disgrace to your family! What kind of man will turn back to a promise? And you are calling yourself a leader?!”

Sunghoon tilts his head over to the side, “As far as I remember I never promised anything. It was my father who proposed about that engagement. I had nothing to do with it.”

“You are to follow your Father’s order! And that is to marry Luna!”

He scoffed, an unamused grin crept over his face. “I am not under him, Mr. Kwon. I don’t bow to him and follow his orders.”

Sunghoon stood up, his aura intimidating the older one. “I created my name on my own, without any help from him. Do you think I will let him control me? Nobody will ever make me follow their orders.”

“And yet you are a slave to your own emotions.” Mr. Kwon stated.

Sunghoon didn’t speak.

“This obsession you have with this girl,” he starts. “soon it will be all a waste of time. Once you realized it was just one of your rebellious stunts to prove something, you will know that marrying Luna is your best option to widen your influence and power.”

“I will do everything so you end up with my daughter.”

Sunghoon clenched his jaw and silently stared at the old mafia boss' eyes. Slowly, he grins.

“There’s only one girl that I will marry.” he says in calm yet cold tone. “And I’ll do everything as well to have her.”

here ‹ teaser | chapter one › here

main master-list

sinag main master-list

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @edensgardenn @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @hiqhkey @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @moonlightisland @ayayiiie @aeyeree @bitchychildmiracle

tag-list:

@heeseung-min

#enhypen #enhypenwriters #eeunoiaverse #eeunoia #eeunoiswrites #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon yandere #enhypen sunghoon x you #enhypen sunghoon imagines #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen yang jungwon #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen park jongseong #enhypen jake sim #enhypen kim sunoo #enhypen nishimura riki

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chantsdemarins · 11 months

Text

Fresh Snow on Sled Tracks Part 2

a 🌙High Moon Story

Summary: The "whisper chant" lands Loki in a time and place on Midgard during the early medieval period in Alba (Scotland).

An 18+ series because of adult themes and sexual situations

You both had discussed for many days the fact that there was no “off switch” for Loki. The result of those frustrating conversations led to the languid afternoon you were both spending in the meadow. Loki couldn’t imagine this strange infinity-you couldn’t imagine what Valhalla was. It was an impasse.

There was one thing you could offer him besides the haptic-laced sexual experiences and pastries neither of you could consume. You’d described it to Loki using words from Earth since this was where you both found yourself currently.

You used the word snow, it wasn’t supposed to be a grand metaphor, but it was. The word “snow” had many variants, and Loki sat for what seemed like a whole day processing all the words he had for the phenomena of “snow”. Even remembering a word from a time and place he knew somehow belonged somewhere in his history, Jötunnheim. Isbrjótr

He got lost a little. The ancient part of him, the god part of him wound himself around the memory, the word, the feeling, and he was suddenly far away. You told him there was a program that only a few projections and bots knew about. It was used by humans on earth for thousands of years and then it became a “whisper” that bots exchanged amongst themselves from time to time.

You told Loki it was like fresh snow on sled tracks. Even though you’d never seen snow. You had no idea that Loki had. That it was a powerful part of his past. Isbrjótr

“Your past is like the sled tracks Loki. It haunts your present form. Your current self just goes down the path already laid.”

“And this whisper is like fresh Isbrjótr and will allow me to be here without longing to be somewhere else?”

“Yes, that’s the idea. All beings including machines and apparently gods-get stuck.”

“Apparently it is so,” Loki looked at you with sincerity. How it had come to this moment so soon was shocking to him. He thought he had a lot of fight left in him. He would have found the way to end his program and go to Valhalla, but it was clear you were telling the truth. You couldn’t help him permanently shut off, perhaps no one could. Either way it was turning into a more complicated situation than he had first imagined.

“I think you have so many memories still with you Loki,” you quietly exchanged.

“Like the jealous woman you mentioned earlier.”

“She was my wife,” Loki said plainly staring off into a grapefruit-colored sunset that was replacing the foggy blue sky.

“Wife?”

“Yes, wife. Before I was an augmented being, I lived for thousands of years…”

“Of course, yes, and those are the memories that haunt you.”

“It is the reason I want to go to Valhalla, for the chance to find them again.”

“This won’t take you to Valhalla, but it will give you a chance to see them again, I think.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, tenderly smiling.

“Might as well do this now,” you replied, looking into the various bags and things you’d brought to the meadow with you. Still rifling through the bags and looking down you continued, “Are you sure Loki? Last chance to change your direction.”

“I am sure, if this whisper is true as you say it is, then I will find a way to redo the harm I caused.”

Looking up and studying him carefully before speaking, “Why harm, Loki? What about love?”

“What about love?”

“Didn’t you say that you wanted to go back and find those you loved?”

“Harm and love are but one and the same,” Loki said wearily looking off into the distance.

If you could sigh you would have. You finally wrestled out an awkward synth halo from the picnic basket that also held your pan du chocolate and champagne. You placed it on Loki’s head.

You held your small hands up into the sunset and then placed them in front of your face and gently spoke the whisper chant you’d been given by those that were made before into your palms.

Studying Loki’s face briefly, you remarked at the way the sunset cast embers on his pale skin, you placed your hands over his face letting the whisper sink into his programming. His eyes closed and he laid back, it looked like he was paused.

“You will only have time to re-experience three life events Loki, much more than that and you’ll be on my shelf collecting dust with the chopsticks and MP3 players,” you cautioned him, knowing he would be tempted to want to stay, tempted to want to fix it all with the miracle of his seiðr which still accompanied him even in this existence. His voice was already leaving his body as he agreed in barely audible mumbles to come back when you told him to.

You’d stay with him and watch over him.

He was unusually brave. This must be one of the reasons why so many beings loved and apparently hated him, you thought as you watched the sun disappear behind the mountains.

On to part 3 Lady Ragnarök

Some of these folks might be interested? @mischief2sarawr @lokisgoodgirl @michelleleewise @lovelysizzlingbluebird @holdmytesseract @mochie85 @fictive-sl0th @lokischambermaid @goblingirlsarah @vickie5446 @peaches1958 @lokixryss @eleniblue @simplyholl @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr

#tom hiddleston #loki #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fandom #loki fluff #jotun loki #loki fanfiction #mcu

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 3 months

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Obsession Hanging 'Round My Neck Like a Noose: Part 3.

HAAGH!

REAAGH!

*KAAA-BOOOOOOOOM!*

*Nagito, his body shattering and his jacket ripped, powers up, his body sending out a blue bio-electricity. He and Zetsubou's rocket-powered enforcer exchange blows all over the transit tunnel at high speeds.

HA-TCHAA!

WOAH!

*CRRRAASSSH!*

*Nagito attempts to derail the trains with a superpowered spin kick, missing Narumi in the process, but the wind pressure of the kick cuts straight through multiple tracks.

!!!!

*Narumi hits out, but before she can counterpunch, Nagito catches her fist and knocks her aside. Nagito can hardly keep up with Narumi's rapid pace, but he just manages to do so repeatedly, making Narumi increasingly more frustrated.

*BOOM!*

Huh!? Wh-Where'd she-!?

Hey! Wanna see something cool!?

KaaaaaaameeeeehaaaaameeeeeeHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

*BSSSHHFWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!*

Oh crap...! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!

*Narumi leaps into the air once more in the midst of the brawl, putting her arms together in front of her (in a gesture honestly more akin to the Final Flash than the Kamehameha) and aiming directly at the ground. She then unleashes the biggest, deadliest, most powerful, and hottest blow she has yet demonstrated! The wide-impact explosion that zeroes in on Nagito tears apart the entire tunnel as well as multiple trains and tracks, blowing a ginormous hole in the side of the giant factory building! Nagito sprints down the tracks, hoping against hope to outpace the massive explosion.

*CRAASH!*

Grgh! Haaah...! Haaah...! Haaaaah...!

*Nagito makes his escape, his coat just barely being singed by the explosive flames, as he bursts through several walls until he gets outside the factory, collapsing to all fours out of exhaustion.

(She wasn't kidding about sacrifices...She's willing to blow this entire factory up to defeat me! If I don't take her out soon, she'll level the entire institute and kill everyone!)

*Nagito heaves heavy breaths as he climbs to his feet. But then he thinks about it for a moment.

(...No...No, that's not how things are at all. Desperate victories and fighting like your life depends on it has never been Narumi's MO...)

(She's going all out because she's been looking for an opportunity like this her whole life...A serious fight against a powerful opponent like me...She's unleashing everything she's got out of respect, and for fun! Not necessity!)

(...Almost like she was waiting for this fight for a long time...Could it be that she brought me into Zetsubou just for this very purpose? I don't know if she could have predicted everything that's happened, but knowing her, I wouldn't put it past her.)

*KRABOOM!*

Huh!?

There ya are! I thought I'd swallowed you in that blast for a second! You weren't thinking of running away, were you?

...No...I just needed a moment to think. You were right! I really can't afford to pull my punches with you! If I do, it's the end for all of us...

*His body starts crackling blue electricity again.

You want me!? COME AND GET ME!

With pleasure...! TERYAH!

*FWOOM!*

Hah!

*BOOOOM!*

GAAAGGH!?

HOOOOOYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAGH!

*BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!*

G-GUUAAAGGHH!

*Narumi, full of energy, shoots an arcing projectile at Nagito, who avoids it, only for the blast to hit an oil tanker behind him and leave him to suffer the full force of a lethal explosion. Narumi kicks the hapless Ultimate Hope into the flames and zips around quickly, launching an assault on Nagito while he's caught off guard.

HYAGH!

WOAH!

*CRAACK!*

...

...?

*SHWOOSH!*

AH-!?

*BOOOM!*

*Narumi winds up a downward pummel and punts Nagito back towards the wall of the factory, but he recovers in time and lands on the wall with his feet. He shoots one last spiteful glance back at his old friend, then suddenly runs directly up the wall to the top of the factory building. Narumi uses her explosions to chase him.

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ahundredtimesover · 9 days

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Omg the mysteries have been unveiled!!!! Can't put into words how much I love this story. Thank you endlessly for putting so much effort, time, and care into it. It's amazing that we get to share the fruits of your talent! It's even crazier that you managed to build a story that just ticks all the points for me and scratches my brain just right.

I commend you for not falling into the common traps of fanfic writing by rushing into things and buying into scenarios that are just not realistic for a non-fantasy fic. As much as the characters' decisions, actions, and attitudes might frustrate us, that's what being human is like! That's real! That's life! We are so contradictory, and we say the wrong thing or the right thing at the wrong time, or we fail to say what must be said.

I will admit that I've been frustrated by both jk and oc throughout the story, and thought they made things more complicated than way they needed to be but now I understand why it's taken so long to get to this point. I get oc's desperation to break free. At first, I was so confused. Why walk away from a job that gives you a decent wage and is prestigious? Surely not everyone likes their job all the time, and would like to have more money, more free time... Now, I understand her fully, and I empathize. There's nothing worse than feeling indebted, subservient, ashamed... it's like she has been walking on eggshells all the time. Even if the family didn't see her in a negative light or looked down on her, sometimes your insecurities get the best of you and your brain convinces you that the worst case scenario is indeed happening right under your nose.

I'm excited to see her heal, grow, and THRIVE! I want to see her comfortable in her own skin, to believe and KNOW she deserves positive things in her life, to feel invigorated by her job, to feel more relaxed, to have time for herself, to find hobbies and passions. Who knows... maybe she dabbles in writing in the future? 👀👀 (She did mention she loves storytelling and the creative process). Of course, healing is complicated and I predict she might have hard times ahead, wondering if she did the right thing, if walking away from jk means losing him forever...

I hope the time apart (hopefully not too long 🙏, although it makes the most sense) allows them both to see things more clearly and approach their feelings in a new light, without the baggage of power dynamics. Starting a relationship with your boss is just yucky, BIG no. For the people saying that's what should've happened... how would that have made her look like? Oh, yall helped my mom and I escape domestic violence, pay for my uni education, gave me an internship and a job (although my girl earned this, but yk negative self talk), AND then I start sleeping and dating one of the company heirs whilst still working as his assistant? Absolutely not.

Also, jumping right into the relationship after her resignation seems too rushed as well, oc more than jk (imo) needs to sort herself out and find herself, find her identity away from the shadows of her past and jk's family and company. How can she be in her first actual relationship if she feels like she can't stand on her own two feet? How can she do good by her and jk if she feels insecure, lost, and unfulfilled? Love and intimacy don't solve all your life problems. That's the heartbreaking realization they both are starting to have. I will say that seeing the more romantic side of jk and oc was soooo cute. His reasoning (although flawed) of wanting to keep her in the company in order to ensure her being respected and safe warmed my heart. I agree with that other anon that jk might not take the separation too well, and might revert back to his old ways, which could potentially put off oc? She might be at a point where she wants to reconnect, and he's just not there yet (I won't mind this possibility because I, too, LOVE angst 😭)

Also Mr. Ri's backstory :( Bless his heart. He has done so so good by oc and her mom. He deserves ultimate happiness, as well. Also, what about Mr YOONGI! I can't wait to read his opinion about all this and how he will try to help out both of them.

Overall, what a chapter. It has been my favorite yet (hard choice cause you have a goldmine here). I can't wait (I can and I will) for chapter 12!! Much love ❤️

(I'm usually an anonymous fan, but this story is just so good I'm powering through my shyness and panic to send this message off anon 🫣)

HIII oh wow, so much to absorb here and I love it! 🥹Which is also why I took a while to respond. I loved reading through this and knowing what you thought. This story took months of frustration and stress to come together haha but I'm glad it’s able to resonate with readers and you guys can see what I was trying to say through the characters. 😌😌

It's a slowburn for the reason that it's important to get to fully know them, from their pains to their hopes because it's how we understand why they do what they do; it's how we connect with them, too. Bc these very flawed humans have bits and pieces of us in them. Especially with OC - no matter how 'good' a job seems to be, if it doesn't fulfil your desires, if it makes you doubt what you've achieved, it's gonna constantly eat at you, and it finally became too much for her once she realized that her feelings for JK would keep her in a place that she's not happy in, even if the man who makes her happy is right there. Obviously there are the hindrances given their positions, but ultimately it's OC making a decision for herself.

It's also interesting to note what you and other readers propose or believe must be the way forward. They both need healing, but clearly all the years they've spent alone and on their own haven't really done anything good to them. And also, they didn't go through a breakup. It's more like a rejection of requited feelings, and like I said to another reader, they don't know what happiness with each other feels like, and they may not exactly need healing from each other. As we've seen, they find comfort in each other. But I totally get what you're saying about needing time away. Much of OC's feelings of being lost and insecure and unfulfilled are tied to her job, and now that she no longer feels bound by it... it's a good thing! This is actually what I was hoping that people would see because echoing what you're also saying, being apart isn't always a bad thing. 😉

We love Mr. Ri! He's such a comforting character, so is Yoongi. And together with Jimin, we see that OC still has good men around her despite the other assholes she dated. 😌 and also, if u think this JK is romantic... AWW WAIT UNTIL rich boyfriend jk happens 🤭🤭 hahaha but anyway. I loved this. Thank you so much for coming out of the shadows and dropping by. I super appreciate it. It makes me feel fulfilled that I could give you something to ponder and hope about. 💕

I hope you're well! Stay safe always! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts

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midnightsilver · 6 months

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Artists Process Vid, Music Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter . (The art post on its own)

My Process: Migraines are not fun. Mostly I like to ‘trust the process’ and keep painting but this composition had several challenges that would be tricky at the best of times let alone with a marching band doing its best to pulverise my brain. So there are a fewl things I’d do differently if I did this again but I really liked the concept for this one so I thought I’d post the process vid and explain what gave me trouble.

I wanted this to be a dark moody picture lit by key highlights. It’s inspired by Sam in the cage in the Benders episode. But all the shadows and the cage bars obscured the shapes I rely on while drawing. (Things like head sizes, hair flow, jaw lines etc.) My initial sketch without any of the surroundings was fine. But you can see in my vid that once I start painting I move the hands and change the body shapes several times. Half way through I also have to flip my canvas. This was because I had lost sight of the shapes that I was aiming for in Sam’s head and features. So flipping the canvas makes my brain see the image from a new perspective and allowed me to correct some of the problems. (If you want to use this trick with traditional art, try looking at your wip in a mirror or taking a snap with your phone and flipping the photo.) It wasn’t just the shadows that were giving me problems with shaping the correct anatomy here though: Sam is also at a crouched angle and for Dean to be looking at him, Dean needed to be hunched over but looking up and away from the audience. These are both pretty unusual angles to draw from and even though I had an okay layout for the boys in my initial sketch, I lost several key lines as I was painting and so by the end their noses and chins are a little wonky. However I was so zoned in and hyper focused on the minute details that didn’t spot that until I had gone firm on my shadows and lighting and could see what the finished piece would look like. (Top tip: zoom out from your canvas or step back from you sketchbook every 5 or 10 mins to keep an overview of the big picture.) But that aside: I was busy ‘trusting the process’. Often a picture looks odd until all the shading is in the right place and even zooming out you can end up fussing over minor details when a bit more detail to the surrounding image will resolve the issue. So sometimes it best to just keep going. Sometimes not tho 😂 - Art is an art, not a science. In this case my trust was misplaced 🤷🏻‍♂️. By this time though my brain was dribbling out my ears and I didn’t have the will power to start over. Hopefully you can just enjoy the atmosphere and intent of this painting and forgive any anatomy issues. And we can all repeat together: “art doesn’t have to be perfect!” (And we will keep repeating that until we believe it! 👍🏻😁) ( - *Edit added a few hours later: actually it’s really not that bad a pic. No more issues than the rest of my art. Migraines make you cranky and frustrated and overly self critical. So don’t listen to the voices! This time I’m not going to repeat: art doesn’t have to be perfect. Instead I’m going to say: well done self! You made a new thing. Congrats! You rule. 😁)

Happy Arting my friends and have some heartfelt wishes for good health!

#supernatural #spn fanart #MidnightSilver #dean winchester #sam winchester #artists process #process video #digital painting #procreate

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wall-legion · 3 months

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Shiverpeaks Sylvari PS: Send Me a Song

This is the first quest for any sylvari who has aligned themself with the Spirit of Wind during CC. As a reminder, your character awakes at the base of the Pinefather, and is greeted by your season's esus. The following cinematic happens after you have loaded into Ochtachtoft: Esus: Newborn! At last. I was starting to think you might sleep the whole day away under Father's branches! PC: My apologies, sibling. This is my first time waking up. I'm still new to it. Esus: So you are. My name is (PC's season's esus). I am the esus of (PC's season). Welcome to the world, young one. PC: Thank you. It is a wonder, isn't it? Esus: Indeed, it is. Pinefather's roots truly took hold in a beautiful spot. PC: I must ask you a question, though. The Spirit of Wind has made a request of me. Esus: Is this true? How remarkable. What was asked of you? PC: Wind tells me that my brother Taranis has written a play for us all to enjoy, but he is unable to use the stage he has built because something called an "ice imp" has been bothering him. Esus: So I've heard. And knowing Taranis, he will be very frustrated if he is unable to fulfill the goal he has set himself. He is a talented elementalist, so he should be able to assist you with removing the imps. He will just need... a nudge. PC: Well, I suppose I'll be off to nudge him. Thank you for helping me. Esus: Of course, newborn. We are family. We aid our own. Open World Upon departing Ostachtoft, you enter the Verdant Haven and are directed to the southeast. This directs you to the point of interest named the Birch Boards. Taranis is already engaged with the ice imps when you come upon him. Taranis: You there! Don't just stand there, mouth agape! Come and assist me! PC: Oh! Of course! After fighting off the ice imps, Taranis turns to you and continues to speak. Taranis: There now. Well met, newborn. I am Taranis, Summerborn. PC: I am (character name). I was told by the Spirit of Wind that you may need my help to deal with those things? Taranis: Oh thank goodness, someone has finally seen fit to lend me any kind of assistance. Do you know what kind of detriment it does to the creative process to have those ignoble icicles circling me at all hours? PC: Erm... I'd imagine lots? Taranis: Well, 'lots' is a good start for it. You're fresh off the tree; I'll forgive you this once for such lackluster conversation. For now, though, we must get to the bottom of my conundrum and rid me of those imps! At this point you'll get a popup of your choices: Charming - I wouldn't want you to potentially harm yourself before your opening night. I can take them on myself. Ferocious - Finally. Lead the way! Dignity - Perhaps there's a solution where we don't have to worry about them coming back. Like a ward against their magic. If Charming is chosen: Taranis: How considerate of you, newborn. Very well, I will await you here. If Ferocious is chosen: Taranis: Excellent. Then let's be away. I've wasted enough time on these wanton wheyfaces. If Dignity is chosen: Taranis: What a cunning thought! Perhaps if I focused my magic with your power, we could craft one. You depart to the east to where the quest marker has moved, which leads to a nest of ice imps. Taranis meets you there to assist, regardless of what was chosen. Taranis: There you are. Are you prepared for the role of a lifetime? PC: And that is? Taranis: Stopping these frosty frustrations! If Charming or Ferocious was chosen, you and Taranis proceed to clear out the nest and it collapses. If Dignity was chosen, Taranis channels fire magic at a point next to the nest that your character channels into by attacking that point as well. Once the ward is created, the ice imp nest's entrance covers over with frost. Taranis: Wonderful! It is done. I must be off to prepare for my performance, but you should probably figure out why those menaces are even this close to Ostachtoft. PC: Oh, yes. I probably should. Taranis: You will be coming to the show? PC: Of course! Wouldn't miss it for anything. Taranis: Then I'll see you soon!

#gw2 fan tree #gw2 ps rewrite #spirit of wind quest path #shiverpeaks sylvari

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broke-art · 1 year

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Red Son x abused reader

* This is just a blurb hope you all enjoy*

"Where is she?" Red son huffed impatiently.

Y/n was late....again. As typical as this phenomenon was, she had never been this tardy.

Worry ebbed at Red Son's chest as he considered searching her out. With the aid of his flames and car it wouldn't take long, perhaps with the bull clones-

"I'm here!" Y/n burst through the tree line waving a hand at him. Her chest heaved with labored breaths when she paused Infront of him.

"Well it's about time!" Red Son chided. "Where on earth were you? I was beginning to get wo-" Red Son clamped his mouth shut once he realized his fumble.

Y/n looked up at him with a risen eye brow.

"Warm." Red Son corrected. "It's scalding out today. I'd rather not over heat you know." He folding his arms glancing away.

Y/n seemed to study him a moment.

"Uh huh." She mused disbelievingly.

"Listen here you little- where did you get that?"

Y/n stiffened as Red Son noted the large bruise just under her eye.

"Get what?" She asked, her tone remained perfectly nonchalant but suddenly her gaze refused to meet his. She acted as though she was glancing away which allowed her hair to cover the offensive bluish purple skin.

Red Son, however, frowned.

"Don't take me for a fool, peasant girl. The bruise right-" he moved her hair aside only to see Y/n flinch violently.

"Sorry." She excused swiftly with an embarassedly smile. "Jumpy. Oh you mean my bruise, I fell face first. Pft clumsy am I right?" She spoke quickly and dismissively.

"I suppose." Red son responded slowly trying to process her retort. Y/n was not clumsy. She was a force to be reckoned with wether on the battlefield or not. Any less would not have captured his interest.

"Anyway, you want to train or chat?" Y/n challenged snapping his train of thought.

Red Son took up a defensive position.

"Go on and try it, peasant girl."

Y/n grinned and raced towards him.

Some time later.

Red Son studied Y/n as she packed her belongings together. Training had been...odd.

She didn't take his attacks quite as well as she usually did. And one particular hit to her back had sent her face first into the dirt. He hadn't even struck hard, infact he has been holding back more than usual. Something was amiss.

Once she has finished packing Red Son grasped her duffle bag.

"Finally. Let's be on our way."

"Red, what are you doing?" Y/n arched a brow at him folding her arms.

Red Son's heart skipped a beat at the look but he ignored it.

"What does it look like? I'm walking you home."

Panic flitted across Y/n's features. And she reached for her bag.

"No, you can't."

Red Son tugged the bag away holding it out of reach. His resolve turned to stone.

"Why?"

Y/n's panic turned to frustration.

"Because I said so! That is more than enough reason." She offered her hand palm up. "Give me my bag, Red."

Red Son considered pushing for an answer but an idea clicked in his mind. So, he handed over the bag simply.

"Fine. Fiiiine. Be my guest."

Y/n hung the bag off her shoulder and Red Son tapped her shoulder.

"Try to keep your feet under you this time."

Y/n laughed.

"Whatever you say, Red Boy."

Red Son typically growled at the nickname but he hardly blinked at it this time.

You shrugged and waved goodbye as you walked away. It took enough effort just to force that laugh and hold your duffle bag. You didn't need the stress of mind of trying to understand why Red Son didn't get annoyed today. You had more than enough stress already.

Your back seared from Red Son's blow. It took all of your will power to ignore it. At very least until you were out of eyesight. You turned a corner and breathed a sigh of relief.

There would be no pestering questions if you winced or flinched slightly.

The truth was your bruise had come from a poor interaction with your mother. She was... absolutely insane to be honest. She would scream at you over the most idiotic things, threaten your younger sister if you fought back, and vanish randomly to go who knew where.

Today's encounter had been her accusing you of swiping her cigarettes. You had zero interest in smoking, or anything of hers at all. She had gone through your belongings and raced around the house screaming like a lunatic.

When you had ignored her tantrum, she had grabbed your younger sister by her hair. Your sister has screamed for your help and well...you had lost your patience.

To be fair, you had attacked first. She hadn't won. But now you had to get home before your younger sister, or she may have to pay for your actions.

Your shoes clicked against the pavement as you quickened your pace. Her school bus came to her drop off at about 3;30. You glanced at your wrist watch. It was 3:20. Ten minutes, you could make it if you hurried.

That was the moment you realized you had an odd feeling. As though someone was watching you. You tossed a glance over your shoulder. No one was on the sidewalk behind you. Your stomach twisted, but you ignored it.

Instead you simply quickened your pace. The feeling persisted the entire walk home but you pressed it aside. Soon enough you came to your front door. With a deep breath you reached for the door knob only to be cut off by a scream.

Your blood chilled and you grabbed the knob but it refused to turn. The door was locked.

You dropped your duffle bag and ran to your window. The latch was locked as well and more screams were sounding from inside. Panic raced through you as you searched for a rock.

A loud bang cut your search short as you realized it came from the front door. Looking around the edge of your house you saw flames creeping around the doorframe. The door had vanished from view and a bit of red cloth disappeared into the house.

Your gut dropped and you raced to the front door. The screams had ceased now but that brought you no peace of mind. You paused in the door way only to see your mother laying on the floor unconscious and Red Son on bent knee speaking with your little sister.

She had taken shelter below the table. She hugged her knees close to her as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"If it suits you just stay there. Your sister will be here soon."

Just then your shock broke.

"What is going on here?!" You demanded walking over the fallen door.

Red Son got up.

Your sister raced over and hugged you tightly.

Calming your nerves you picked up your sister and looked at Red Son awaiting answers.

Red Son was extinguishing the flames. He stepped over your mother. You didn't miss the scathing glare he threw at her as he worked.

This made it clear that he was not ready to explain at the moment, instead you decided to calm your sister and ask her.

After much consoling and many tears your sister explained that your mother was livid when she arrived home. Your mother had locked the door and picked up a knife. Your sister has hidden under the table when Red Son kicked the door in.

You assured your sister that Red Son would never hurt her, nor you. Your sister had begun to calm down so you offered her your phone allowing her to play on it.

Then you went back into the living room where Red Son appeared to be meditating.

Your mother was gone from sight. Your gut roiled as you walked over.

"Red?"

Red Son sucked in a breath but didn't open his eyes.

"Yes?"

You knelt down Infront of him.

"Where is my mother?"

Now Red Son's eyes opened at that question and he folded his arms.

"She's on the couch. How is your sister?"

"She's ok. Thank you, for helping her."

Red Son huffed.

"You didn't tell me any of this."

You twisted your hands nervously.

"Well I- wait! How did you know?!"

If you weren't mistaken, Red Son's cheeks twinged pink but he glanced away.

"Well I knew you were lying about the bruise and I may have come to investigate."

You sighed then pressed a kiss to his cheek.

#lego red son #jttw sun wukong #lego monkie kid #lego #jttw #lego monkie king #jttw wukong #lego nezha #lmk #redson #lmk red boy x reader #lmk red son x mei #lmk red son x reader #lmk red boy #lmk red son

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humanoidalien27 · 1 year

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Content warning: torture with an unforgivable, past torments (This chapter is going to hurt. I apologize)

.....

Chapter 8

In her Screams

You kept reminding yourself to keep calm, to not let your emotions out. You had to, for the sake of your friends.

Ominis, Sebastian and Anne were knelt down on the other side of the room, bodies locked in a curse to keep still.

"I know you've found my Scriptorium and the secret room with my book and this room," he waved around the room. "I figured you'd want to know the truth about our magic, but you should have come to me. I would have willingly told you. Now, I'm just going to take what I want."

He approached you, his wand already glowing in anticipation as he grabbed a handful of your hair when you tried to back away and touched it to your chest.

It felt like ice had been dumped into your veins, starting with your heart and in that moment you felt your magic connect to Salazar's and a wicked grin spread on his face.

He began to pull his hand away, while ancient magic swirled from you.

Fighting, you tried to hold on to the warmth, but the emptiness kept growing as he easily overpowered you.

Anne and Sebastian watched in horror as Salazar inhaled your magic, before throwing you to the ground and headed towards the door.

Your muscles burned and ached as you looked to the twins who were trying to fight their binds. Their expressions were enough to tell you how bad things really were.

A growl of frustration sounded behind you, quickly followed by a loud explosion that sent a blast of heat to cascade over your skin.

"I should be powerful enough!" He hissed, spinning around to face you.

Trying to backtrack away from him seemed futile, but you knew the only reason you were alive right now was because you were still valuable. Not that you were going to give him what he wanted.

"No!" Sebastian and Anne yelled at him as he kicked you onto your back and pointed his wand directly between your eyes, making you grateful the necklace remained under your clothes.

"You know more than I do, don't you? Tell me!"

His eyes were practically red as his hands shook in silent rage.

"I don't know anything-"

"Liar!" His eyes moved to your friends, splashing dread throughout your veins. "Maybe you'll change your mind after I torture your friends."

He moved off towards them after putting the leg locker curse on you.

"I don't know anything more than you do!" You snapped seeing him head towards Ominis.

He probably seen you two acting cozy earlier and was only attacking him because of it.

He ignored you, dead set on casting the torture curse on Ominis, his hands already gripping his wand in anticipation.

You saw Ominis trembling from where you laid, memories of his parents no doubt resurfacing as Salazar's footsteps grew closer and you knew you couldn't allow that to happen. Just the thought of hearing him scream in pain made your heart twist uncomfortably.

"I do know one thing!" You yelled desperately, getting Salazar to stop and look over his shoulder. "I do."

"Spit it out then."

Dropping your head, mostly to get ready for what you were about to do, you found a laugh bubbling out of your throat and you couldn't stop it.

"I'm completely magic-less and yet you're hanging on my every word," you teased, your friend's faces twisting between concern and fear as Salazar spun towards them and raised his wand, the torture curse on his tongue. "Especially since I was raised by muggles."

You never thought you'd wield that like a sword, especially to Salazar Slytherin. Time felt like it slowed as you stared, hoping you angered him enough, pushed the right buttons to make him forget all about torturing Ominis.

Salazar stopped as if processing the new information, while watching Anne, Ominis and Sebastian's faces tell him you weren't lying as their eyes widened in horror.

"No, she's lying!" Ominis said sharply, but it only told you that you were doing the right thing.

He still hadn't turned towards you, in an obvious daze. So, you swallowed and prepared yourself as your body trembled. "And now you're infected with more muggle magic."

He looked at you, eyes practically burning a hole through you as you laughed again. Pushing the right buttons, he completely ignored Ominis as he tried to grab his attention again.

"Crucio!"

"No!" Ominis yelled desperately as pain exploded throughout your body and a scream ripped from your lungs.

Neither Ominis's or Sebastian's spell hurt that much. This was like claws digging at your flesh, lava on your skin. Your muscles clenched so tightly they locked your joints up.

Salazar held the spell on you until the three other founders burst into the room and Godric hit him hard enough it stopped the connection.

As a fight broke out, Rowena moved closer to Anne, Ominis and Sebastian without getting hit, while Godric summoned their wands right out of Edward's hands and Helga broke the curses on your friends.

They easily joined the fight, defending Ominis while he ran over to you as soon as he could locate you, finding you unconscious and barely breathing.

Between the founders and your friends, they chewed away at Salazar's defenses until it was only him left.

"I'll be back," he said, shooting one last glare at your body before apperating.

Godric moved over, checking your breathing, having to reach past Ominis who had pulled you into his arms after kneeling beside you.

"She's barely alive." He pulled your body away from Ominis, having a bit of trouble when Ominis refused to let go for a moment and headed towards the exit.

He followed almost immediately, with Helga and Rowena trailing behind as something clicked behind the twins. They turned seeing the door opening.

Confused, they side glanced at each other, before walking over and peering into the room.

It was small, well protected with ancient magic they couldn't see floating around, though without the large suits of armor that attacked if someone approached.

They walked in, seeing a box with a strange golden light shining through the cracks on top of a book.

Sebastian moved before it and reached out, but found a barrier that shocked him hard enough that he collapsed to his knees, instantly making him nauseous.

"Sebastian! Are you okay?" Anne moved to her brother, helping him up to his feet, quickly noticing how he wobbled.

"Yeah, it's protected from being stolen. I don't know how, but I don't think we're going to get that book or box any time soon."

Anne nodded, looking at the funny looking symbol carved onto the top. "Why don't we go check on our friends. They're more important right now."

"Yeah, we should."

Ominis was lost in his own head, while the founders checked on you. Having told them that Salazar took your magic, the three of them actually looked concerned, but whether that was because you lost all your magic or because Salazar was now a lot stronger, no one could decipher.

Sebastian stared out of the window, while Anne sat numbly beside him. None of them had ever heard you purposely goad someone before, especially while laughing. It was unsettling how easily you disregarded your own safety to defend them.

Ominis knew you took that spell for him and that ate at him. You had been unconscious since, which made knowing your condition harder. He held onto your hand, to make sure you weren't cold, his pinky over the gentle beating in your wrist, being your breathing was so shallow even he could barely hear it.

"It wasn't your fault," Anne said softly as she walked over. "She knew that mentioning being raised by muggles would put his rage onto her."

"I know, but she shouldn't have done it. I could have-" He stopped himself, the idea of being at the mercy of that curse made his skin crawl, but knowing she was and nearly died from it, was a worse kind of pain he hadn't experienced before. He never felt the urge to kill someone, until that moment.

"There was nothing you could have done the moment she mentioned her parents," Sebastian replied, his eyes glaring at a particular cloud that told of a coming storm. "Which is why she used it the way she did."

"He hurt someone you love, that's not easy to deal with," Anne whispered, her eyes traveling to your face.

Ominis tripped over the word love. He wasn't sure he even knew what love was, but from what books described, it certainly felt close to it.

"Love?"

Sebastian stood and moved beside his friend. "You were scared to be hit with that curse, right?" He waited only long enough for Ominis to nod. "But the moment you heard her mention being raised by muggles, how'd you feel?"

His lips trembled as he opened his mouth. "I wouldn't have cared how many times I'd have to go through that pain, if it meant she never did."

Realization crashed down on him as he gripped your hand tightly. He never took into consideration why he was willing to take that curse. He was just desperate that you didn't.

It only became worse when that moment replayed. You had done the same for him, by using something you knew Salazar would find disgusting.

"Does she love me?"

Knowing they couldn't answer, the Sallows fell silent and looked at each other.

....

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfic #ominis x reader #ominis x oc #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x oc #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis gaunt x you #ominis x you #sebastian sallow #anne sallow

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