#anger directed at self

[furiousgoldfish]

One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.

Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.

Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.

However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.

I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.

Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.

It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.

#anger #rage #anger issues #cptsd #abused child #abuse symptoms #trauma symptoms #repressed anger #processing anger #anger builds boundaries #ptsd #traumatic anger #internalized anger #anger directed at self #not being allowed to bring angry creates self hatred #self love #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

[inkerii]

So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.

That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.

See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.

Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.

Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.

Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.

However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.

Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.

But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.

That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.

And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.

And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:

- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.

- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.

- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.

(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)

- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.

- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.

- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.

- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.

- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.

- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.

... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.

How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.

Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.

Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.

So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.

... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.

#the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #it took me over a decade but I finally bit the bullet and decided to talk about this series #I love it so much #there's so much more I could say I had to hold myself back #like how BOTH Gale and Peeta are never fully gone even tho most people only focus on Peeta #But Gale knew what he did was wrong #It's not as clear bc he's not a pov character and katniss is too tired to try and read him but #prim's death touched him #he didn't brush it off he didnt see it as justified bc at least now its over #regardless of his reasons he still has enough sense of self to realize this #unlike y'know. characters like coriolanus who makes up so many excuses for what he did #including indirectly killing the character who is the personification of innocence and hope #like prim was #(side note I dont think any of the tbosas characters are direct parallels to the thg ones) #(theres little bits of katniss peeta AND gale in characters like snow) #(bc they're all representative of indignation and anger / compassion / fear and the need to feel safe) #(which every human being in the world has - even that bastard) #(he just chooses a different path) #(tbosas is very good btw) #(y'all should read it before the movie makes it about romance like I'm terrified it will) #ps if anyone knows how to put a read more on mobile can you let me know thx ily

[puppydoggraham]

Thinking about how Will Graham views his anger as righteous which of course extends to Hannibal. A lot of his anger in s2 is over the fact that he finally trusted someone only for that person to betray him but it’s more than that. It’s more than just what Hannibal did to him. What he’s truly deeply angry about is that Hannibal knows his dark nature and not only knows it, but wants him to embrace the very nature he’s desperately trying to suppress.

He’s supposed to be the one that’s perceptive. He’s the one who is supposed to see it all while remaining unknown and unseen. And yet Hannibal recognizes what kind of person he has as soon as they meet. It’s not supposed to be that way. He hates that Hannibal is the one person he can’t hide from. Who will always see through the facade he puts on for others who buy into it. That’s why when Hannibal essentially tells him in s3 that he hasn’t changed, he’s fuming. If just Hannibal can believe he’s changed, maybe he himself can believe it too.

But he doesn’t. And deep down Will knows that’s just what it is too: a facade. Hating Hannibal is really just him hating himself at the end of the day. He takes a lot of his displaced anger out on him. He has these violent murder fantasies about Hannibal that symbolically can be read as him trying to kill off this part of himself. He can’t kill them off. Suppression only works for so long. The fantasies only grow stronger.

It’s only when he gives in at last during TWOTL. When he stops supressimg who he is. When he stops hating himself for it and overthinking about the act of violence. When he allows himself indulgence. This is when he experiences being at peace with himself possibly for the first time ever. At last, the internal battle that rages on inside him calms. The voices in his head go quiet. Even though this is brief, he knows that what he and Hannibal experienced on that cliff is a moment of peace in a lifetime of unrest. He doesn’t take it for granted, which is why he says what he does. When he stops fighting Hannibal, giving into the violence and also his touch as they embrace, it represents that he stops fighting with himself too. And isn’t that the most beautiful thing in the world?

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #hannibal lecter #hannibal meta #you guys always get my Hannibal analysis #well it’s will hours baby #I’m feeling very will lately which means you get will analysis #I’m so will graham like genuinely you have no idea #I feel like everyone says they’re will bc he’s haha awkward autistic loner #and trust me I’m that too #but I’ve personally had so much of a battle with suppressing myself and shame and not letting myself have desire #especially over things not socially acceptable #and that resonates so hard with me #also the displaced anger #and a lot of my anger I would describe as righteous since it’s directed at those who have harmed me #okay maybe the person who said I write will well has a point #I also have a lot of self hate and don’t believe I’m able to be loved anyways #will graham I love you #literally typed this out like I would die if I didn’t get it out #also he denies affection too in addition to violence #or violence serves as a stand in for affection #(hence the line about speaking to him in a language he understands from chiyoh) #so on the cliff he accepts not only violence but affection #he accepts Hannibal’s love he stops running from it #the dual acceptance agh #so many layers #the way you can tell from how he holds onto Hannibal he’s just giving in completely #in that moment he was probably like what do I even do he’s not used to that

[spicyicymeloncat]

Nightcord Kaito is actually my favourite virtual singer from project sekai. He’s so angry I love him. (I changed his hair to kinda resemble the character from the original Samsa mv)

#pulling myself from the depths of despair to finish this #i was working on an alternative sketch but I couldn't line it and it made me feel bad for days #but I'm glad this turned out okay #gahjsjskskskks #anyways I totally hyperfixated on the commissioned song from the immiscible discord event #Samsa #the name comes from the last name of the main character of the novel: Metamorphosis #which is a story of a man who becomes a bug and starves to death when he feels like he’s become a burden to his family #fucked up #i have so many thoughts about niigo Kaito #about how he’s probably the one vocaloid Mafuyu doesn’t like - because he’s a manifestation of the harsh reality she lives in #and maybe she sees him as an angry monstrous being (like in the song) and she’s afraid of being like him - or that she already is like him #and he’s not only angry at her mother but also angry at Mafuyu for her treatment and reflection of him #essentially he’s like a projection of her own self hatred in a way #he’s got a right to be angry but his anger is directed at himself/Mafuyu but in terms of him and Kanade he’s still a positive and #necessary force to acknowledge the truth of Mafuyu’s treatment #the event hasn’t even come out in English yet and I’m reading way to deep in between the lines lol #project sekai #Kaito #vocaloid Kaito #project sekai Kaito #niigo kaito #art #fanart #digital art #vocaloid

[humanveil]

discussion topic: dean winters comes back to cameo. on a scale of 1 to 10 what is the animosity level btwn brian and elliot

#need to know if i'm alone in thinking that it wouldnt be as explosive as fics make it out to be #terminal svu brainrot #like okay yeah yeah. I Get It. but also. #what reason does elliot have to resent brian other than misplaced self-hatred #assume they see each other. Assume Elliot Knows. yes i imagine he's pissed but is all that anger not directed at himself first #the girlies love a fist fight & okay yeah it Could be fun BUT. is brian not a stand in for himself? #would elliot not be hurting brian in lieu of hurting himself #is brian's hypothetical animosity not born from feeling defensive of LIV #lasting remnants of resentment because HE was there HE was with her at her lowest and he KNEW he wasnt who #she really wanted but he did it anyway because he loved her. he really did love her! #idk. i dont think they'd be friendly exactly #but i struggle to always buy the extreme hostility #like they're meatheads but also they are standing there tense as fuck gritting their teeth trying to rein it in for liv's sake #also cannot believe im saying this but i think there is a level of maturity w brian with this specific issue. #like he lived with elliot as the third person in his relationship the same way kathy lived with olivia as the third to her marriage #this is the man who was THERE who helped clean up her apartment and sat in that court room and told her she was the love #of his life and then followed it with 'you were never going to bear your soul to me' #like. do you get it. or is my memory of 2.0 that poor that i am wildly misreading the sitch

[mitamicah]

It is not often I can stay away from sharing the joy of music and songwriting at an open mic event - today was one of those nights unfortunately...

#i felt so out of place and awkward there #maybe it wasnt the right time #it seemed like everybody knew one another and i was the odd one out #listening to the person starting out the evening by playing and talking about his songs made me feel so insignificant #i felt so tiny so useless and so utterly alone #like what i would share would not be worth anything #so i went home #the self hate cloud overtook me and i am still feeling the boiling anger but directed at myself #i am glad i went there in a way but yeah it wasnt meant to be #hopefully i will calm down soon so i can go to bed without hating myself too much #that would be nice #could be now i should actually respond to inbox messages for forever ago #hopefully that wont make me look attention/validationseeking #sometimes i wish i had a partner if only to have somebody to hold when i feel shitty #in such moments i feel extra touchstarved #i needed the pressure to get myself out of my head somehow #so i bore my nails into my neck #a hug would have been better and less hurtful #but nobody is around and i only have myself to blame for that #stop it micah nothing good comes out of these thoughts #sorry about that #micahs thoughts

[theramblingsofadork]

I believe I have finally solved the problem of Surge and Kit’s existence in the Starpoint AU. 👏

I’ve figured out a way they can still be around (because I love them and want them to have a happier ending too). But not be brainwashed into being different people, and not be dramatically traumatized by Canon!Dr. Starline’s cruelty.

Spoilers ahead for the later half of the Downfall Arc!

After experiencing the events of the Metal Virus arc going down, Starline finally realizes that everyone who has been trying to talk him out of following Eggman during his time working alongside him was right. This.. isn’t what he actually wants. This, is going too far.

Eggman’s not who he thought he was, and he realizes he can no longer accept his idol’s vision of the world. He realizes he has to be stopped.

He’s still fired and thrown away by Eggman when he refuses to use the warp topaz to attempt to fix the mess atop Angel Island, and still has a video log breakdown ranting about his anger and frustration. But this is the moment things really change for him.

Operation: Remaster goes from being a plan to take over the world and win Eggman’s approval, to instead being a way to make up for everything wrong Starline’s done thus far by finding a way to defeat Eggman for good.

He’s still full of pride, and can’t outright admit he was wrong for so long about everything, so he refuses to seek out help from The Restoration or the various members of the Starpoint Squad. He’s messed up too much already. He has to fix this by himself. And he’s confident he can.

In this AU, Surge and Kit end up being volunteers, either at rock bottom from losing everything to one of Eggman’s raids, or at death’s door after being orphaned and cruelly imprisoned. When Starline finds them, they both know exactly what they’re signing up for. He offers to help them become stronger, in exchange for their help in taking down Eggman.

This would also solve the problem of Starline’s unethicality in creating them, cutting out the (speculated) kidnapping and mental manipulation of overwriting personalities to turn them into killing machines.

I imagine he still has to hypnotize them into suppressing the trauma of training, because they still very much aren’t warriors from the get-go, but they aren’t in the dark about what’s going on like in canon, and even have a certain level of respect for him. (Although they still have their moments of clashing and tension.)

It also gives them the avenue to be real heroes when everything blows over. They’ll probably even end up becoming part of The Restoration. (For real this time though and not just for fakesies.)

Don’t worry though, Eggman fans. I respect him too. So he’s not going down THAT easily. 😏

#sonic #sonic idw #dr starline #starline the platypus #sonic the hedgehog #starpoint au #Downfall Arc #dr eggman #surge the tenrec #kit the fennec #in other words Eggmans getting an evil boost too #He’s a bit more evil and conniving in this AU. I’ve been told it sounds a bit more like his Archie self? #cannot confirm or deny since i have not read Archie #oohoohoohoo I’m so excited #Surge and Kit will still probably go through a character arc in dealing with anger but i haven’t thought that through yet #I’m so happy with this direction

[chibitantei]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 ?

ruined by fury

you are angry. you are angry and everyone knows it. the fire within you will not die, cannot die. for if it dies, you wont have a reason to burn. your rage simmers close to your chest, it boils near something you wont touch. you are angry because it is easier than anything else. you are angry because you choose it over pain. you are ruined because you cannot feel anything but your own ire.

Tagged by: @yukcri (thank you thaly)

Tagging: hello purseowner rpc.

#Dash Game: Files to Review #Headcanon: My True Self #I always knew she had repressed anger #so did the other answers pointing in that direction

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Thinking about TTPD and “you don’t get to tell me about sad” unlocked a memory of my parent having a self-flagellation moment after broaching a somewhat difficult topic and when I tried to be brave and finally speak up about that and tell them that when they did that, it then put the onus on me to comfort and reassure them instead of actually discussing the issue at hand and their response was “no it doesn’t, I’m just telling the truth, I am terrible and this is why…” which then made me drop the issue altogether and reinforced that I cannot ever actually say how they make me feel and attempt to heal anything because everything will always be a slight against them instead of trying to open up communication between us…

(As though it were the Sadness Olympics and just because they suffered terribly their whole life gave them supremacy in feeling awful and nobody else’s pain held weight in comparison… 🙃)

Yeah I feel like I’m going to feel this album so incredibly deeply I’m going to go catatonic because I know I’m picking up what she’s putting down lmao

#and if I said I was a whole ass adult when this happened and I’ve lived with this my entire life 🙃 #the pandemic was fucking rough lol #the alternating between self-flagellation and lashing out with ‘you don’t understand me you don’t know how much i suffer etc’ #as in waffling between deep despair in the pit and absolute anger directed at the slightest conflict #like I’m sorry but i feel like I’m going to 100% understand what Taylor is going to talk about #it’s just all very iykyk #very you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but do you know you’re demolishing me-coded #shoutout to my homies with emotionally immature parents lol

[moonrver]

✌️

#not saying anything more about the wider h0rner situation and will he having a break from talking about d@niel #bc it's stressing me out and at the end of the day i dont think i need to performatively self flagellate for being a fan of someone's #piblic persona when i ultimately knew nothing about him personally #(none of us know anything about these people) #(ive made my thoughts known through previous posts/rbs) #(but at the end of the day i dont think we should be directing anger at each other or using a real woman's suffering for fandom 1-upmanship) #(or “i told you so”s) #(most of us are young women ourselves like we're not the enemies here so unfollow who u need to block the tags you need to)

[lith-myathar]

.

#say what you will about sera dragon age but they really were nailing something #with the ''sometimes we aren't capable of real change until someone loves and accepts us exactly as we are'' thing #if you've gone through life being told there's something wrong with you from every direction and constantly asked to change and improve #that creates both some extreme problems around self worth (feeling inherently damaged and unlovable) and a LOT of anger #anger that's got no real target so everything and everyone becomes something to resent and resist #you are not enough. you will never be enough. even the people who love you are always trying to fix you in the name of helping #and maybe you tried to be different!!! but it didn't work and so you are a constant disappointment #finding somebody who just loves you and sees you amd doesn't demand that you change is.... unthinkable #suspicious. trusting that is not going to come easily #but if it's genuine? that's a place where growth can really start. because it stops being about fighting back and all the resentment #it lets you start believing that maybe change is not synonymous without capitulation or losing this battle you've been fighting #your entire life against the world telling you you aren't good enough #a part of you believed it but another part also knew it wasn't fair and that's the part #that would rather destroy yourself with self destructive behaviors than admit they're right #ahem. i am definitely projecting here but there's a reason i always felt super attached to her!! #and i think i get it now a lot more than i used to

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

Maybe I should join a martial arts class.

#I keep directing my anger towards the wrong people. #And I can't direct it at myself. Not anymore. #It'd only hurt everyone else. #And supposedly martial arts are good for anger management. #Since they teach discipline alongside self defence. #And I can't exactly keep calling up Lila to fist fight me in the Denny's parking lot. #She has a kid now. And Diego wouldn't be happy if I beat up his girlfriend. #...Just gotta decide WHICH martial art to practice. #Karate? Kung Fu? Taekwondo? #I could just go with mixed. Like we learned as kids. #That'd probably work. #IC #Five Vents (in the tags)

[branffro]

Bros is probably one of the best queer films out there to date… or at least in relation to modern day gay relationships.

#billy eichner #luke macfarlane #bros #this is queer history #we are writing our own stories and meeting each other for the first time #when we direct our anger towards creation with compassion we inspire great healing and growth #confidence is the choice we make everyday to seize the opportunities that come our way especially in moments of self doubt. #we are brave because we have to be but that courage is our strength and no one can ever take that away from us. I could go on! this film #is honestly brilliant and just wonderful #bros 2022

[lastkiss]

i get on this app once a week, see swifties being out of touch and insane, i log out

#what do you mean you want to jail american swifties for buying tickets abroad #and what do you mean ur upset that ppl are going to 5+ shows #this is a concert....people are allowed to go to any shows they want #like be normal and just try other options #im not even american im just someone with common fuckin sense #direct your anger to ticketmaster u all sound like the self centered losers u claim americans to be

[journey-to-the-attic]

Reading the new comet event (spoilers sort of?) and I could've sworn I'd read it before, but no!! I realised that it was because MC going to Satan after he shut himself in his room reminded me of that scene in the Minecraft chapter where IK finds him on the iceberg! Just a cool thing I thought I'd share

oo funky!! i haven't done the new event myself (planning on speedrunning at some point before it ends), but it looks interesting! i like that they're trying something new, and focusing each pop quiz around particular characters should definitely make them more interesting, esp if they go for actual mini-arcs with them like it sounds like they are

#answering asks #anon asks #i'd be interested in seeing what directions they take the characters beyond the stuff they kind of re-hash or have already done #from what i've seen it seems satan's mini-arc isn't based on his relationship with lucifer which is refreshing! #i've always wanted to see canon properly handle his wrath in a more personal way rather than in relation to his inferiority complex #outside of just 'mc u make me feel more than anger' i mean #honestly i wanna see more depth to levi beel and asmo since out of the brothers they kind of get the short end of the stick #beel in particular since asmo and levi definitely have strong bases at the centre of their characters but beel's is still up in the air?? #levi not so much but i'd like them to acknowledge and develop his traits outside of the self-deprecating otaku stuff more often #also he is genuinely so funny he has the best one-liners in pop quizzes in recent memory #satoshi kada's delivery during the voiced hdd events is also killer #anyway beel's got his relationship with belphie + regret from losing lilith but there's not much that's just Beel at his core on his own #not counting 'hungry' #imo his base is strength and family but they really explore it enough in-game outside of the wholesome main point #sorry this whole 'base of character' thing is entirely subjective because it's just me saying things #but i love these guys man. i know i don't say the nicest things about canon #but there is genuinely so much Good Stuff there the issue is more that they. don't develop/focus on it for some reason #whoops i talked too much

[morsking]

everything in nier is about kaine. *nods slowly and sagely*

#kaine is yoko taro's testament to humanity #a person so beautiful and so full of anger and hostility after having been subjected to unimaginable cruelty and loss #but also a person who found it in her to love other people and bond with someone who like her was also lonely #kaine is the reason why emile who in turn is the embodiment of the human spirit chose to keep fighting for eons after all his friends died #and after his self fragmented trying to defend the only place that tied him to his memories of kaine #that fierce loyalty and protectiveness made kaine the perfect template for yorha androids #but those qualities also made them capable of tremendous emotional evolution #because the bonds they foster are what inspire the pods to defy their directive and salvage A2 2B and 9S #that remnant of human love that marked kaine marked all existence surrounding her #and therefore it's love that triumphed in that broken world #the will to go on no matter what hardships no matter what suffering ravaged the world was born out of human love #kaine's human love #nier automata spoilers