#i do so many drugs

[mattodore]

20s vs 30s

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #the older they get the more i need to [redacted] them... #matthias is already 26 so. not much changing going on in his face. his hair just starts receding a bit before he gets it under control #but theo’s in his early 20s so his cheeks definitely lose some baby fat in his late 30s #MIND YOU! matthias is really vain. so. he has a skincare routine and he's very serious abt it along w/ regular dermatologist visits #and injections/surgeries probably... so he is someone who will age very gracefully thanks to money lmao... #theo on the other hand is just blessed with beautiful skin <3 well that plus he rlly doesn't emote often... not many lines on his face #until he's in his mid-forties probably. but like fr... theo isn’t someone who puts a lot of work into his appearance like matthias does #and he uses and smokes like. his skin looking so good is just the result of a genetic lottery #i do think he quits both by the time he’s 30 #but while he doesn’t go back to cigarettes… hm. he probably continues to relapse w/ drugs every few years #not with anything hard—he’s off the stuff for good i think past 28-ish #i think when he relapses he’s usually safe with matthias who helps him by focusing on harm reduction so. lighter ones. #…just got a bit emotional thinking about that but anyway #kisses for theo 🫂 #i was going to post this last night before bed but decided that i wanted to actually edit them first so! here take this <3 #i've gotta get ready to go get my novavax shot in a few hours but then i'm going to start editing again #seriously rlly enjoying my editing process rn... like it makes me so happy!! to finally really like the way i edit and how things look #but yeah........................ mattodore are so sexy as they age god. #i gotta redo that old family lineage post i made now that mattodore look different... and i need to redo their parents for sure #…anyway cross your fingers for me 🧎 i’m hoping my side effects aren’t too bad this time around

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it #I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody. #both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much #(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself) #both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it #both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it #but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor #and the other loved even when it was killing him #god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again #but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together #and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing #but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived #Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you #and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better #haymitch abernathy #dean highbottom #thg #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

[brainrotisseriechicken]

hi....scrapped wip again. im rlly not built for color. yap incoming

sorry my productivity tanked my 7 year old laptop is nearing its final breath and im just stalling buying a new one as long as possible to not violate the boycott but she (laptop) is making this shit DIFFICULT

im gnna be so honest w yall i havent had the drive to do shit all lately like. i need dopamine kicks to function but nothings working for some reason ??? i bought a jjk book and i fucking love jjk so i should be excited but im ??? not????? fucked up how that works

#scp #scp fanart #illustration #dr clef #dr kondraki #clefdraki #scp fandom #scp foundation #fanart #not feeling so cash money rn chat #i have so many responsibilities rn but i cant muster up the want to do anything right now #monke brain needs its dopamine signals n when i go out of my way to do something and feel nothing afterwards its like #???? #like what the hell #i love these assholes though #funny thing actually a family member tried to kill me once and i was just really sad i couldn't make more clefdraki art #i dont know how long thats staying in the tags LMAOOO #i dont know how long this ones staying up either but whateva #fuck it we ball #don't suggest drugs by the way i don't even have the drive for that #unfinished art #would anyone b interested in balefire art ...... #i say as if id finish anything at all

[lastwave]

hdb is so chronically ill its unreal. post polio syndrome. hep c. withdrawal syndrome depending on the playthrough. probably some sort of sleep disorder. all this probably amounts to chronic pain and fatigue and nausea...and he guilts himself on days he feels like he cant work bc of it. partially bc his self hatred abt being an addict and partially bc he sees being disabled as a moral failure (tbh he sees both as a moral failure). and its just like. ugh i get it. i really fucking get it.

#hugh txt #disco elysium #i end up guilting myself on days im not able to work too #and i know a good amnt of disabled folks who do drugs bc doctors refuse to treat us #or its too expensive #so we end up having to self medicate #which quickly ends up as addiction #but sooo many people who havent been thru it treat addiction like ppl failed a test of will or some shit #and not the result of a healthcare system that failed us

[bottombaron]

there is no way that Guillermo’s pussy wouldn’t drive Nandor absolutely mad with power

#wwdits #nandermo #nandor #guillermo de la cruz #what we do in the shadows #i have so many thoughts about how Guillermo makes Nandor feel powerful #(not in a sadistic power trip way tho) #the full force of someone as strong and beautiful and awe-inspiring as Guillermo choosing to bless Nandor with adoration #a man so used to being worshiped and yeT #you can see it in his eyes #how absolutely terrified of how powerful Guillermo makes him feel #with simple things like a soft smile and kind eyes #like how a former addict looks at drugs #and i find it so compelling that Nandor comes from power and conquering and yet he's like #fucking Guillermo would be like using the One Ring #Guillermo would casually say that he's upset Bravo cancelled a show and the next day the entire hq had been destroyed like a nuke hit it #like i'm srs guys i have five different long posts in my drafts abt how powerful Guillermo makes Nandor feel #(and how pussy-whipped Nandor would be if Guillermo ever gave it to him 😉) #but i can't process my feelings abt that rn so you get this

[cyancherub]

have any of u guys ever gotten way too high and experienced a psychotic episode.......

#THAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT #IT WASNY EVEN ANYTHING HARD IT WAS JUST WEED #the spray. i had too many spritzes #i thought i was dying and being set up i was so paranoid and i was HALLUCINATING!!!!!!!!! #i do have a history of dissociation #drugs cw #talky cherub #NO MORE PILLS N POTIONS FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE #that was one of the scariest experiences of my life hands down

[strawberrybabydog]

also cuz i posting so much about endel recently: i saw someone list the diagnoses "needed" to adopt this label and i just want to correct this

[specific] diagnoses are not necessary to call yourself an endel, have never been necessary, and will never be necessary

delusions are a symptom, not a diagnosis. you dont need approval from anyone to use this label; read the definition and if it suits you and you like it, use it. same goes for any label, you dont owe anyone an explanation!

#endel #part of the reason it works like this is also because delusions are a symptom of soooo many disorders #if i listed all of the diagnoses which include delusions i would inevitably skip a fuck ton because #delusions are psychosis yes but they alone do not make a person psychotic perse so. even saying endel is exclusive to psychotics is wrong #endel is also meant to apply to people who have drug induced delusions or have lived through a psychotic episode in the past etc #so endel applies to a fuck ton of nonpsychotics! THIS IS BY DESIGN!! #anyone who has lived through delusions regardless of circumstance is welcome with us

[maxknightley]

somebody needs to teach this website what the difference between a majority and a plurality is. like, right away.

#if 30% of people don't do drugs and 70% of people select from a long list of options which all involve doing drugs. #then 30% is going to 'win the poll' even though it is the minority. #i have seen this so many times and it makes me insane.

[xullian]

If we gave fresh sans drugs what you thinking his favourite would be

(We find an au where he isnt against drugs)

Oooooooo def lsd and weed i dont think hed like the hard ones like cocaine or heroine at all.

Fresh sans by loverofpiggies

#xullianart #xullian yaps #xullianasks⁉️ #there is no reason that lil shipost shouldve taken an hour what is wrong with me #tw drug mention #drugs #weed #lsd #cw drug mention #was gonna make an entire doodle page of fresh doing drugs but i lost motivation halfway through #might finish and post it one day #NOO IS THIS ART BLOCK #i hope not i have so many ideas #forgot to do the fucking tags #fresh sans #utmv fresh

[tangledinink]

if the timing had been off by even just a little bit-- if he had turned that corner just a few seconds sooner or later-- he probably would have lived. but if he hadn't been going so fast, the timing wouldn't have mattered.

sometimes people seem to think, "i'll be fine. i'm a good driver. i'm good enough that i can do this safely." but some things you can't do safely. it doesn't matter if you're good or not.

if you're going anywhere today, i hope you get there okay. april 13, 1997 - may 11, 2022

#my brother had a cat named luna #my brother went through an emo/death metal phase in middle school #my brother was really good at math and science #my brother liked the guardians of ga'hoole books #my brother played so many hours of call of duty #my brother learned how to fix cars all on his own #my brother stepped up when our father died #my brother was planning to buy a house #my brother and i had a hard time in middle school #my brother and i werent close for a long time #my brother was in a really bad relationship for a long time #my brother had a drug problem for a while #my brother had a drinking problem #my brother got out of that relationship #my brother got better #my brother stopped doing drugs and drinking #my brother found really wonderful friends #my brother had a wonderful job and had an amazing partner #my brother had so much going for him #my brother was turning into someone who i could look at and say “i want to be friends with them” #my brother and i were fixing our relationship little by little #my brother was finally growing up and coming into his own #my brother used to hold my hand and protect me when we were in preschool #my brother and i were inseperable once #my brother and i shared a womb #and then we shared a bed #and then a room #and then we were in different classes at school #we went to different high schools #i went to college in chicago and he stayed in massachusetts

[blinkpen]

Which of these characters of yours would be these two people I want to fan draw it if you allow me to

omg go right ahead but this is tough to answer concisely bc i have a lot of characters who regularly consume weed and among them are plenty of characters who are overconfident or aren't very smart about how they consume it. also characters who are goobers that are just inexperienced so them overshooting is funny. also characters who could end up on either end of the equation, really.

can you tell i'm autistic yet.

like i could do this for hours but hopefully that's enough to get started ashjfd oh yeah the one context lamarr and jaren could be swapped

#doodles #ask x #oh god i forgot i'd have to write all those characters tags now #why'd i do so many i spaced out #wicky #milkweed #scratch aqua #zoetrope #jaren #cleo #paisley #20Q #sorry #who i have not drawn or referenced since before my nieces where born whoops #mulberry #silky fuzzworth #higgs #pally claret #demersa #lamarr #charlie k #yoyo in same situatio as sorry #estavan #the dj #zebra #drugs cw

[peteytheparrot]

How tf does Dogman manage to have a better redemption arc story then Hazbin Hotel

#Petey gets so much time to redeem himself into becoming a better person in a comic where shit and piss can come to life #Meanwhile Angel dust is just suddenly like guys…. I don’t want to do drugs this one time and I helped my friend once lol #And then heaven is like omg why ISNT he in heaven?!?! #WHY DOESNT HEAVEN KNOW WHAT MAKES SOMEONE GO TO HEAVEN???? HAS VIV READ THE BIBLE??????? #Anyway Dogman is a good kids book go read it lmfao #Like Petey has so many times where he fucks up but manages to do better even after all of that #And he even has the emo backstory too so ☠️☠️☠️ #hazbin hotel critical #I do like Hazbin btw but damn it’s so rushed and it makes me sad!!!! Why didn’t they spend the Episode time they had better tf #Like there are so many unnecessary characters tooooo like you really don’t have to make it this cluttered omg #But that’s unrelated lmao

[tennessoui]

where’s my toxic dark academia au where the Jedi Order is a prestigious private university for rich kids who are all a different flavor of beautiful and fucked up, and Anakin is the kid they let in on scholarship once every a few years and he comes in scrappy and defensive and in love with the daughter of the family who is sponsoring him (and maybe half-adopted him when he was 10 so it’s a bit fucked up all around)

and he meets this pretentious dickbag of a student on his hall who is so cold and aloof that anakin can’t stand him, this guy obi-wan who’s so beautiful and untouchable and who sees right through him

I imagine they fuck in the most explosive way where they’re in the middle of a very loud fight in some bathroom in some rich kid’s house and neither is sober, and obi-wan says some awful shit about anakin being in love with Padmé and if his adoptive parents knew they probably would wish they hadn’t adopted him and anakin says some awful shit about how obi-wan’s been sent to boarding schools all his life cause his father never wanted him, and it starts as a fight but they’re just punching each other with their mouths and probably crying too

#Kit’s silly lil AUs #cw: drugs #(maybe these tags do not go together lol) #obikin #give me that toxic same age obikin #scholarship kid anakin in a world of burnouts and trust fund kids #trying to belong #maybe after their first time obi-wan decides he’s gonna take him under his wing #and show him the high society fucked up kids ropes #only there’d be so many scenes where anakin slowly finds out how fucked obi-wan is #and he slowly starts caring more and more #in a way that genuinely scares him so much #that he leaves before he graduates?? #ends up writing a book about it ten years later (all names changed) #and obi-wan finds him because in the book he is not shy about calling obi-wan the great fucked up love of his great fucked up life #lol I guess this has very little in common with Star Wars

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

k, m, n, t for pd and/or suck!!! >:33333

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

-> you know i gotta say wiwi. i have to. that character was Made For Me i swear to GOD . genuinely i cannot think about prime defenders season 2 episode 39 without feeling physically sick bc i love it so much. its the only one i havent relistened to since i heard it the first time. i KNOW its gonna make me cry again so i genuienly have not touched it even though theres things in there i need to hear again for character research. his arc is so like. narratively satisfying in a way that hits me so fucking deep to my core in an extremely personal way. and like. there were definitely some Decisions that i was REALLY ANNOYING about hating when they were brought up because im used to media with bad storytelling/creators that do not care about their characters but. looking back on it i would not change a single thing about it. i love you wiwi so much.

-> FOR SUCK.... its not over yet. so i cannot definitively say. campaign finale comes out tomorrow so my answer may change depending on that but for right now i think i gotta say arthur. i joke a lot about hating arthur for no real reason in particular but. man his story is just REALLY good. not going 2 give you suck spoilers (hehe) but i also really like how shilo has grown through the campaign. hes my little guy :]

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

-> TIDE. TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDE TIDE TIDE I LOVE TIDE SO MUCH. thats my dad thats my best friend i love tide so much dude. every time he is mentioned or on screen i am just like :D HI TIDE I LOVE YOU TIDE

-> grefgore :] light of my life this is how i feel anytime i think about grefgore

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

-> CHARACTER STUDIES. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I LIKE A GOOD SHIPPING FIC AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT PLEASE GOD WRITE THEM IN CHARACTER. EXPLORE THEIR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND WHY THEY MAKE CERTAIN DECISIONS THE WAY THEY DO. this doesnt even go for just pd and suck this is like. true for every single fandom ive ever fucking been in. do you know how hard it is to find character studies in the danny phantom tag on ao3. nobody has even fucking watched the show how are they going to write character studies they just want (<< i cannot legally finish this sentence without getting in so much trouble) I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF AROUND HERE. ALL I EVER WRITE ARE CHARACTER STUDIES BC THATS THE WAY I THINK ABOUT CHARACTERS. I LOVE THEIR MOTIVATIONS I LOVE TO GET INSIDE THEIR BRAINS LIKE A LITTLE PARASITE AND IT IS ALWAYS SURPRISING TO ME WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT THINK LIKE THIS. (edit im just now reading through this and realized the question says three things. i did not process that. my three things are all more character studies please)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

-> oh dude i have so many hmmmmmmm how to choose just one. i have a LOT of feelings about wiwis original death and i might write something about that when i can get over my shrimp emotions about him. dakota cole audhd truther but that ones pretty much canon anyway so i dont think it counts. vyncent and his relationship with growing up in fantasy world and then being thrown into prime and how he adjusted to that. I think he really lies shitty syfy channel type horror movies that are so stupidly bad. and also plays a lot of video games but again i think thats mostly canon already. i think tide listens to dad rock but also like. ocean man by ween. you already know about my william and ashe being each others emotional support at concerts. i think william and ashe should hang out and do emo kid things more. i also have a lot of feelings about ashe and coping with the crippling loneliness of basically growing up alone and how the pd becoming like INSTANT best friends was so much for him in sooo many ways. you already know how i feel about mark i am in the middle of dissecting him like im in a high school biology class as we speak. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know im gonna think of something really good after i hit the post button so stay tuned

#ive written like. maybe 2 shipping fics in recent years and one was while i was high on post-wisdom-teeth-surgery drugs #and the other has been in my wips for over a year bc i got to the quote unquote romantic part and ran out of all ideas #<< ive started working on this one again and instead of making them kiss i just went on for like . 4 more paragrapsh #about how the robot character finds it inconvenient to be in a body that visibly emotes. so that explains a lot i guess #the murderbot influence has hit me apparently #I DONT REALLY HAVE MANY SUCK HEADCANONS. as much as i loooove the suckening it doesnt like. grip me quite as hard as #pd and riptide do. #same with bitb! i fucking looooove bitb and i think about it so much but i dont necessarily have hcs for it because i like. #prefer the way canon is??? if that makes sense???? #I DO HOWEVER love to say the phrase “arthur bennett is a beautiful name for a butch lesbian” only bc i saw a piece of fanart with #that as the caption after like. epsiode 3. and it got stuck in my mind #oh also idk if ur here yet but arthur and deacon are also divorced father toxic exes in my mind. they totally fuck in a vampire style #(<< which is . ALSO a quote from a piece of fnaart that got stuck in my mind so fucking hard. they totally fuck in a vampire style. #i hate it here) #GODDD THANK U FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE. CAN YOU TELL IM NORMAL ABOUT THIS #asks #intertexts #friends!!!

[eliotspencersgf]

It's just me and the shows I binge watch to keep myself from feeling anything against the world

#personal #its like I'm 14 again #when i was 14 i spent the whole summer in bed binge watching shows. i would actually count how many hours there were in the show #then pull all nighters to try and finish it as fast as possible #then i tried to kill myself and ended up in the psych ward for the rest of the summer with no phone lmao #but at some point i stopped watching so much tv and started living ( doing drugs ) #and now im back to square one which is..something #but hey. it beats alcoholism

[ssecond-hand-faith]

Doctor Zachary Ngo here to administer your meds 💊

Don’t worry, it’s just something to help you relax 😌

Zack belongs to @trashpandazowo

#my art #digital art #Full Dependency #Full Dependency game #tw drugs #tw needles #Zachary Ngo #when I tell you I’m on the struggle bus to struggle city with this game I’m not kidding #How do I get Ricks Cgs?? can he do anything but hunt me for sport?? #comeooonnn Rick! Joe and Zach like me. why don’t you?? #my housemate walked in while I was playing through the couch scene with Joe and I have never clicked to the save screen faster #honestly to hell with Zach. me and Joe will be very happy together lmao #there’s so many endings and I have no clue how to get them lol #anyway. good game. having lost of fun