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#i feel like i'm forgetting something else too
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Hi there, I hope you’re feeling better 🫶🏻🤍
I don’t know if you are taking requests but can you write a one shot where Charles is dating Y/N and she decides to do that tiktok prank where she serves a lot of food on his plate but only serves herself a little bit and she pretends there wasn’t enough food for the both of them? I think it would be hilarious, thank you!
Note: It hasn't been so bad, thank you for asking! Hopefully, you're good too! 🫶 until I say otherwise, my requests are always open and you can send things in anytime you want!
"Charles! Dinner is ready!", you called from the dining table, setting both bowls of pasta down. The one you set for Charles was as full as you could have it, piling the pasta shapes on it like an engineer.
"I'm here, I'm here", he called, encouraging Leo to walk with him and hop onto his bed by your feet, "did you forget your bowl, amour?", he asked once he saw the other bowl which was less than a fourth of the way full.
"Whose bowl do you think this is?", you chuckled.
"Leo's - although I think we should put some more chicken for him so it's not just pasta", Charles said as he was about to get up.
"Oh, that won't be able to happen - we have no more food", you blurted out, "and this my bowl - Leo already had his chicken while I was cooking this, didn't you, buddy?", you cooed, "eat your food, amour, it will get cold".
Charles didn't understand, "you're only eating that? Are you sick? Do you want me to make you something else?", he wondered.
"I thought we had more pasta than we needed, so I gave some to Leo - he thought it was delicious, by the way -, and when I noticed it, this was all we had left", you explained, "but it's fine, I'm not hungry anyway".
Now, the amount of pasta you'd have to have fed Leo to end up in this situation was far bigger than anything you could ever possibly do, so your boyfriend grew suspicious, "love, Leo's tummy is so tiny, he can't eat much, and I can share mine with you, I'm a good boyfriend like tha- oh! This is a prank, isn't it?", Charles groaned.
"I got the idea from Arthur - he sent it to me and said he would like to know what you did!", you hugged Charles, hands going around his neck and stroking his chest while you nuzzled your face on his neck.
"For a minute I was thinking the dog was going to explode - even though you're always the one making sure he's eating right!", Charles chuckled, kissing your hands.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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reebdominw · 2 days
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INTRO!!!!!!
wie gehts!! you can call me by reb and my age doesn't matter, english isn't my first language so my bad if i write something wrong.
i'm obsessed with Eric Harris and this is VERY noticeable, i have been in tcc since 2019 but i still need to study the other cases because i got stuck only in columbine for many years
in my free time i like to study english (i want to learn german), play doom (specifically eric's levels), go out to anywhere and take care of myself. I love gxns, b0mbs and g0r3 and i love listening to rammstein, kmfdm and the electric hellfire club too.
i'm full of anger and my mind is filled with h0m1c1d4l thoughts and if you don't like it, you can just block me (i can't say more because i don't want to get termed again)
if you're an anti tcc just block me and forget about my existence, hopefully you get sh0t in your fckin head while you're walking in the street
i need tcc friends so feel free to message me
if i remember anything else i'll edit this later, Tschüss!!
-rebel girl
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pitot-0 · 3 days
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Easter eggs for player's name (spoilers ahead if u wanna discover it urself!)
I'll be including the dialogues when you enter it as the name/nickname
-maleyanderecafe
"Clever, are we? Do you want a round of applause?"
"Well, then you should know how it ends..."
"Don't you?"
-C4, Candy, Lunar
"Haha, what a sick individual."
"Perhaps it's best not to act so innocent..."
"When you know what you are already."
-Alpha, P1
"You just wanted to be accepted into the world, didn't you?"
"To be friends with everyone just like in the stories..."
"But what happens when..."
"You finally break?"
-Beta, P2
"You just wanted to be loved, finally and forever..."
"But they never would have stayed with you otherwise."
"I mean it's not really your fault..."
"It's theirs."
-Scientist
"Kind of a strange name for a prodigy, wouldn't you say?"
"But the guilt you feel is pretty immense..."
"This is all your fault..."
"And it always has been."
-Gamma, P3
"Why do you always pretend to be the villain?"
"You try so very hard to be unlikable and yet..."
"Hahahaha..."
"When will you finally succeed in making sure everyone despises you?"
-Delta, P4
"It must be really sad all alone like that..."
"You want to forget, you really do but..."
"Well, you just know more than you ever should..."
"Maybe like the fact you're playing on a ___ system or something?"
"Haha...just kidding."
-Emil
"With a smile of gold to hide a darkened heart..."
"Doesn't it feel like it's in your nature?"
"First Impressions are everything."
-Thella
"What a noble person to tarnish."
"But then again, it's just as they say..."
"First impressions aren't everything."
-Ryan
Eris: Why would you ever want to be him?
Eris: How disgusting.
-Milo
Eris: That's your perfect creation.
Eris: Let's not tarnish him just yet, alright?
-Desmond
Eris: Why would you want a name like that?
Eris: He's simply too meddlesome for his own good.
-Seph
Eris: Oh dear, that won't work out at all...
Eris: He's only interested in monsters after all...
Eris: And not the kind that you are.
-Valli
Eris: She's a bit too much of a chatterbox, isn't she?
Eris: That's not really your style though...
-Holly
Eris: It's a bad idea.
Eris: She will have your head otherwise.
-Y/N
"What a dull an unremarkable name."
"That doesn't suit you at all."
-Bussy, Fart, Butt
"Hahaha!"
"Very clever!"
"Now watch this!"
game closes
-Dick, pussy, bitch, boobs
"Ah, a prankster, are we?"
"That's pretty funny, I have to say."
"But oh well."
game closes
-Espoir
"My, hello there. It's you. And everyone else."
"You know I heard that using a certain Ashy name might give different results."
"But that's just a simple rumor..."
"Who knows if it's true."
-Ally
"Oh? Ally? How curious."
"It's such an Amiiable name..."
"It's unfortunate you won't live up to it."
-Tsu, Tsumachi
"Oh? It's you."
"Sorry...there's not really any white hair boys in this game..."
"Haha...hope you're not too disappointed."
-Reiynm
"Oho. It's you."
"Such pretty drawings you make."
"I adore them so."
"I wonder just how pretty the thumbnail would be..."
"Haha...it's nothing. Let's continue."
-Lionel
"Ah, so I'm not the only one who is watching."
"I've been watching you for a while."
"So I hope you enjoy."
"Alright?"
-Cherry
"The one and only."
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll end up in the attic at some point."
-Mari
"You know, I have something special for you."
"Deep inside of the code..."
"Let's check it out, shall we?"
-Veronica, Jason Dean, Heather
"A song hums in your brain."
"I was meant to be yours..."
"We were meant to be one..."
"Don't give up on me now..."
"Finish what we become..."
"How fitting."
-Strade
"Oh, it's you."
"Well, isn't that something..."
"You'll fit right in!"
-Vance
"Don't you wish you were held more?"
"Don't you wish that someone could hug you...?"
"Even if it drove them insane?"
"So desperately you will crawl to make someone love you..."
-Virgil
"Child of the stars. Child of the galaxies."
"You take on many forms, many shapes..."
"Stay with me, you tell them."
"Force them to stay if you can."
"They have no choice."
-Mychael
"Was it hard living in the forest alone?"
"Some terrifying being that wanted to be loved..."
"Well, don't worry. You'll be loved soon enough."
"By force or by..."
"Suggestion."
-Nick
"...You look awfully hungry."
"Should you get something to eat?"
"An arm or a leg...perhaps?"
-Momo
"A peach grown with a small child that comes out."
"A demon ritual made to get the love of your dreams."
"What will be the ending for this tale?"
-Toma
"A older figure to some, or a cage for others."
"You will be taken whether you like it or not."
"It's a promise."
-Cro
"It's weird... I feel like I remember you..."
"Somewhere in a train going down the line."
"You didn't let me leave."
"Did you?"
-Catsket, Dorian, Aeron
"...A god?"
"...No, the devil..."
"Bloodless Art, perhaps..."
"Remake him into your own."
-Cassanova
"Let's try not to get our hands too dirty."
"We can't eat him up just yet."
-Theo, Riese
"Oh my, you should be careful where you tread."
"I've heard vampires like to come about around here."
"Just be careful when you walk around baring your teeth."
-Ezra
"My, I've heard that you have experience..."
"Let's put that to good use."
"Let's hope it ends up well."
-Krow
"An omen of something to come."
"Be careful of what misfortune you bring."
-Fone
"Don't worry, I can hear you."
"You will be found soon."
"I promise."
-Jack
"A ghost of that who comforts."
"At least, that's what it seems
-Alan
"A song hums in your brain."
"Do you know the Hatchet Man?"
"The Hatchet man, the Hatchet man..."
"Do you know the Hatchet Man?"
"Who lives within the woods...."
"How fitting."
-Louie, Mica, Allar, Josh
"My what a colorful name."
"So pretty and yet unexpected."
"Well now, Valentine."
"Try not to eat his heart out."
-Ren, Redacted
"There's no need for you to try to be someone else."
"You will make them accept you and love you."
"He doesn't have a choice.
-Tenebris, Keith
"Of flowers and monsters."
Keith:
"Such a pretty person...and for what?"
"Being too jealous isn't a good look for anyone."
"Tenebris:
"Ah, be careful that your rage doesn't break them."
"It's unfortunate to destroy something before they're even made."
-Aster
"An angel. Someone who lives for you."
"Well, that might have been what you were suppose to be."
"But now it's time to find someone else to be able to fufill that role, hm?"
-Leumin
"It's raining, it's pouring~"
"Milo is snoring~"
"Hahaha..."
"Let's see if he'll enjoy this rainy weather we'll be putting on then..."
-Koolie
"Ha. Are you some sort of dog?"
"Ah, that's kind of funny..."
"Hopefully this doesn't turn out to be as tasteless as milk."
-Zecharias
"Just as memory serves right?"
"Sometimes you can't find your perfect muse..."
"You have to make them."
-Sal
"The evil white shark of the waters..."
"You just wanted to be loved right?"
"Well..."
"Don't we all?"
-Sol
"A name like the sun..."
"Or so they say."
"When you're simply the kid in the back..."
"Would anyone even notice?"
-Eli
"You were made to be loved, weren't you?"
"Sometimes though, you have to make sure you follow your directive."
"And you just have to do it yourself."
-Zachary, Simon, Seth
"This world isn't really that colorful..."
"At least thats what you think."
"Don't look at it through some colored gaze then, alright?"
-Bo, Dachabo
"You look like such an innocent puppy."
"But it's wrong isn't it?"
"You're more like a wolf who lusts for more."
-Liu
"Watch carefully through that door of yours."
"Your eyes darting about."
"You had always watched him from afar."
-Ashton
"Ah, did you jump from another game or something?"
"Don't forget your garden sheers."
"Maybe you might need them."
-Harper
"Ah, are you taking a break from camp?"
"Well hopefully, you find someone for you..."
"And try not to murder anyone, okay?"
-Morgan
"Hm? Are you a librarian or something?"
"Ah, sounds like a quiet job."
"Well, you can hear a lot of secrets, I'm sure."
-Riker
"Ah, so many different endings, so many different faces."
"Keep it together for your love, okay?"
"You're going to need him."
-Griffin
"Ah, like the bird, huh?"
"Did you guys meet on IndyCent or something?"
"Haha, I jest."
-Dameon, Stalker
"What a fluffy figure you have..."
"You must be good at following the things you like, don't you?"
"Well, let's track him down then..."
"Our Perfect Love"
-Nial
"A parasite bringing someone to death..."
"A blue enigma with a killing blow..."
"Let's hope you can keep him alive..."
"He's going to need it."
-Z
"Ah, a real demonic character, huh?"
"Have you taken interest in someone?"
"Let's keep them closer to you..."
"So they can never leave."
-Gold
"Ah? What a peculiar name."
"You wouldn't perhaps have someone who is in a coma, right?"
"Ahaha. It's just a jest."
-Klein
"How long did it take you to finally get what you pleased?"
"Behind that plastic cover..."
"You'll finally break free."
-Friend
"Ah, what a friendly name you have."
"Despite all that, it's quite ironic."
"After all, being friends with you is rather...unfortunate, isn't it?"
-Adam
"Ah, you have experience hurting others, don't you?"
"Says the one above..."
"I'm sure you will get what you deserve."
-Doc, Dre
"Do you like vengeance?"
"You probably do, don't you?"
"Then please..."
"Enjoy to your heart's content."
-Valk
"May you be watched and possessed..."
"Just as you deserve..."
"I hope it's to your liking."
-Melencholy
"Ah, I remember you. You do your best, don't you?"
"Carried us when we all needed it..."
"Please, let's have fun..."
"Creating our very own perfect love."
-Sox
"A perfect househusband or a perfect wife..."
"Maybe both, maybe neither..."
"Well, I'm sure that this will end with someone being taken care of."
"Whether you'd want it or not."
-Calem
"As I've heard, you really are something."
"You love it when someone watches you from above."
"Like a cat, ready to pounce."
-Meru
"The one of the stars, the one of love."
"I've heard them say you're quite the artist."
"Let's make him into a piece of art, shall we?"
-Techno
"Oh? What a curious name..."
"Like a small, little hamster..."
"Well, they do say that if someone dies next to a hamster..."
"They use their face as bedding."
"That's a fun fact, huh?"
-Madelyn
"I did promise something for you, didn't I?"
"Someone or something that's quite cute or cuddly..."
shows image of a cat
"Someone like this then, hm?"
"Haha. I did promise."
-Jablue
"Can you hear him hiding in the walls?"
"Watching...waiting..."
"There's always someone out there, you know..."
"Begging for your love."
-Bambi
"A deer in the headlights, watching so carefully."
"Will you enjoy the corruption that has been brought?"
"It's more fun when they fall by your hand, you know?"
-Song
"A monster in the making is just as fun..."
"Watch as he twists and turns into his new form..."
"Watch as he hatches into something that's just for you..."
-Flaine
"Ah, welcome back, boss!"
"The cheeriest of all, the one who speaks loudly..."
"May we corrupt the one we love the most..."
"Don't forget to finish your comic..."
-Quiet, Quietaxis
"Did I forget about you?"
"You seem familiar..."
"Like you'd be friends with a cute pink character."
image of kirby
"Kind of like that? I suppose?"
"Haha, that's cute."
-Stranger
"Surprising..."
"I didn't think you'd be here."
"The god of death themselves."
-Manly, Manlybadasshero
"Ah, so it's you. And everyone else."
"I've been wondering if you would pick this up."
"So hopefully you enjoy."
"It would be a shame if you didn't."
whew that's a lot lol
I'd separate the nickname one since there is a lot
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How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 3
Let's finish this off because this post series has taken a long time to finish.
(*sigh* never mind. This will be in 2 parts because it's longer than I thought it'd be.)
Cater:
I mean.... he might be ok? But he seems to have a lot of issues going on with himself, so I'm unsure if he'd even be ready for a relationship. It would probably be a pretty stable relationship, though. Although, if you're one of those "I need silence or I will go fucking insane." people, probably won't work out.
MC: *trying to zone out because they need it*
Cater: MC! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!
MC: *still trying to enjoy the silence*
Cater: MC! COME ON COME ON!
MC: Can I have some peace for a moment?
Cater: But you'll miss it if you don't come!
Probably a pretty good boyfriend for certain personalities.
Ace:
Fuck no. Have you not read the wiki thing where it says he literally ghosted his gf? I get that was in middle school, but this mans literally runs from commitment and will probably bully you because he thinks it's teasing.
Ace: Seriously? That's the grade you got?
MC: I tried my hardest! I'm not from this world, remember?!
Ace: But Grim got a better grade than you. Grim! How dumb do you have to be?
MC: *either raging or crying*
(I may have based this off a fic I read)
I hope you're good at teasing his back, otherwise y'all will never get along.
Deuce:
Maybe another good one? He seems to have gotten better with his anger, so that's something. He probably wouldn't leech off of you too much. I think his only problem is that he might not see the relationship as an actual relationship, y'know? He might just treat it like a normal friendship or something. Maybe once he's graduated, he'd be better with knowing how to deal with a relationship, but for now? Not so much. He might also honestly forget y'all are in a relationship. (this might just be a headcannon? Idk)
MC: We should give each other pet names!
Deuce: Why?
MC: Cause we're dating!
Deuce: *pauses to load* ....OH!.... Right.... yeah.... we are.
But honestly? Probably a pretty good boyfriend.
Jack:
Ok, now we're just getting good boyfriend material, wtf? But seriously, Jack is a family man, and he's good at keeping at his goals. He'd be perfect at keeping his significant other on track and keep them from procrastinating. He'd probably also help them keep in shape. I feel like his only flaw is he tends to either overestimate people's abilities or try to push his views onto others a little too much.
Jack: You have to keep going or else you'll get used to stopping right before you get the exercise you need!
MC: *literally sweating through their clothes and pretty much fucking dying* I NEED A BREAK!
Jack: Just keep going! It's fine!
As long as you're an overachiever and you're ok with your limits being pushed, I'd say he's good bf material.
It's been a while, so I hope I still made this ok. There were a lot more good boyfriends than I thought there'd be.
Oh well. I'll get the next part out at some point.
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rainba · 2 days
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what if darling cries during sex or aftercare, and once they calm down a bit, maybe apologise for getting too emtional (totally not projecting) and say that they feel so lucky to have their yan/they can't believe that they're here with their yan right now huehehehe i love soft emotional hurt/comfort
kind of on the same note (but not really) what are some awkward moments during with the yans? something about that feels really endearing and makes them more human, y'know?
tank yew for the yummy content :] don't forget to drink water n love yourself a lil you deserve it ( ´ ▽ ` ).。o♡
on that note i should probably drink some water myself...
Awww… I feel like both of the yans would feel a little bad, but they’d try their best to comfort their darling. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
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For Kairos, he'd definitely wrap his arms around you without hesitating and pull you into a loving embrace. He’d press your face into his chest while resting his chin on the top of your head, shushing you and telling you it’ll all be okay– and that he’s so lucky to have you, too. (o´∀`o)
Kairos absolutely loves being able to comfort you– it makes him feel all warm inside, and he can’t help but feel as if he has a sense of purpose as he calms you down and showers you in his love.
To be honest, Kairos would probably end up crying right along with you... Then afterwards, he’d ask if you wanna take a bubble bath with him, or if you wanna just lay down and take a nap/go to sleep...
He’d also try and make you laugh afterwards– but his humor consists of either really dry puns or jokes that require you to be chronically online to understand them. So... I hope you find those things funny too! ┐(シ)┌
If you don't, he'll try to "get a better sense of humor" for you...!
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As for Luka– while he does like seeing his darling cry, that's only when he has total control over the situation and knows that he's not genuinely hurting you. During the times he gets too aggressive during sex, he always feels regretful afterwards and tries to make it up to you.
So, if you start crying when he's trying to be genuine with you, it’d probably be a little awkward for him. ^^;;
Since he doesn’t understand strong emotions very well, he’d be kind of confused as to why you’re crying. Like… Did he hurt you? Did he say something that triggered this?
Luka would stop everything he’s doing and sit beside you as he wipes your tears away with the back of his hands, asking you to tell him what’s wrong. If you say that you just feel so lucky to have him, he honestly will be left speechless.
You're crying… Because you feel lucky? Lucky to have him? Aren't you only supposed to cry when you're upset or in pain?
Crying tears of joy isn't just a myth?
Truthfully, he’d space out for a bit and be lost in his own thoughts, fully trying to process what you said to him. After he spends a few minutes just staying by your side and wiping your tears, he’ll lean in and softly kiss your lips, asking you if there’s anything that you need from him. It can be anything at all– just tell him, and he’ll get it for you. It doesn’t matter how big or small. ( ´ ▽ ` )
If his darling cries after sex often, Luka will slowly get better and better at comforting you– he makes it his ultimate goal to learn how to best care for you and tend to all your needs.
Oh, and...
"...I'm lucky to have you, too. I love you."
(Also, thank U for the concern!! I try my best to take care of myself :3c I hope you and everyone else who reads this also does the same!! Go…… Drink water and love yourself…… (´。• ᵕ •。`))
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starrymarii · 1 year
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Side order 🐙
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uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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On the "darker" side of being comforted by one's immortality (not in the physical, but metaphorical), I've always been comforted by bone needles.
The idea that even after death, you've still been remembered by how you are used. No, bone needles probably weren't used with human bones, but it's a reminder that you aren't just going to... disappear. I'm comforted in the knowledge that I don't end in a "me" but in a "we," in nature. Everything about me is reused material so much more ancient than I am, and knowing that, I feel so much closer to the world.
#positivity#death positive#death tw#i know i mentioned the last part in a different post but i will never ever forget that nor will i talk about it only once#and the fact that we've found fifty THOUSAND year-old bone needles comforts me too#if you want immortality then there - that's your immortality staring you in the face!#we like to concieve of immortality as something you hold direct witness to but that's only a fantasy...#...in reality you will be immortalized - or likely will be - but it's in such a way you won't be able to witness it firsthand#i have always grappled with the knowledge i could be remembered and recognized and noticed in ANY way#i don't want that and knowing that i am simply borrowing what makes me 'me' does comfort me#it takes the burden off of being Me if that makes sense#this isn't about self-hatred but a burning desire to perfect the craft of being an actual person#i was so absorbed in being Me that i forget that i am part of this universe#human-centeredness will convince you that humans are almost... separate from the universe...#...that humans are unique from the concept of Nature and the World...#...blame it on capitalism or blame it on hubris or blame it on lack of insight... but when you discover how directly connected...#...to the universe you are i think you can learn to sit and appreciate... all of it#from the beetle crawling over your shoe to the wasp gazing into your car mirror... you'll appreciate it#i wonder if anybody else Gets what i'm ranting about here. i always feel weird talking about the things that bring me comfort
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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selvepnea · 5 months
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Thinking about. That one post about art. And how it's never good enough. Since you're the one that made it. And how. It might relate to how I view myself?
#Sel talks#Like. Do I like the idea of a masculine body because I think it will make me less me?#I keep thinking about a line from “in stars and time” talking about. How maybe they changed because it was easier than learning to love#Himself as he was.#Keep thinking about something my therapist said last session. About how he would hope there's more restriction around accessing trans#Health-care than there is about getting a medical Marijuana card#And even if it comes from a place of good intent; is still a harmful idea?#I keep forgetting how much importance cis people put on transitioning. And it's just. Not? For me?#My body is just another form of expression for me to form and play with. And I feel like it might be hard to try and get someone who's#Not thought a lot about gender to understand.#I don't really want to lable it as “transitioning” either. My isat brainrot is wanting me to call it “Changing”; bit I'm not sure if that's#Quite accurate either. Like. We don't have a word for playing with different styles of clothes? Why do I need one for messing w other types#Of presentation?#Sigh...#I'm soooo tempted to just go on t and not do anything else. No name change. No sex change. And not tell anyone.#Why do I need to take into consideration how much my decision weighs on other people?#I feel like I've gotten too many reminders that “tomorrow's not promised” or “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives”#“Don't live wondering” or whatever that old lesbian slogan was. “We're all going to die so who cares if it's a waste”? Some will wood song#I'm listening to. I just.#Why am I waiting for the perfect opertunity to transition? Or change or whatever.#I've always considered my want to masculinise as me taking “be the change you want to see” either too far or too literally#I want to see men in dresses!! And if no one else around here is going to do it I guess that falls on me!#Why must I follow everyone else's path to t?? I want to make my own!#Grrr barkbark#I feel so underequiped to change the world; why must I do it?? Can't it just change for me??
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keeps-ache · 9 months
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woke up with the feeling that 'something has been irreversibly changed'
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Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0
#LOV giant nasturtium leaves#and they press weirdly thin like when they dry out it's almost like a super super fragile sheet of tracing paper or something#I also just really enjoy collecting textures and patterns and stuff. like it's not really about them looking pretty but more just#something notable. like the cool dotted pattern or the stripey veiny looking one#I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year but have been so unproductive still lol ToT#I've had new costumes and like Actual Stuff To Post for probably 2 months now but they just sit in a folder and I forget about#them and like walk in circles talking to myself all day instead or something hhh#I think it's the classic cycle of like 'I am too stressed to be productive > the fact that i'm not being productive stresses me out > i am#even more stressed and no more productive > being unproductive stresses me out > so on and so forth forever' lol#or the 'I have so many goals in life and so much motivation and so many things I love and want to do > there are too many things to do#at once and it's overwhelming > do none of them instead'  cycle lol#I think my main focuses in the new year though are to finally finish the worldbuilding slideshow. Do more costumes. And do more sculptures#since I haven't done a lot of those in a while. And still work on my games and short stories and stuff that takes place in my worldbuilding#world but those are more difficult longterm tasks so I think they should be like. not the MAIN main focus or else I'll never feel like I do#anything. I think that was the problem for the past while is that the things I had delegated as my Main Focuses That Go Above All Else#are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you#could be doing in favor of a thing that feels like you're not doing anything thus you get a chronic feeling of never finishing anything ever#Whereas like. I can do a sculpture in a day or two. and I can do costumes in a day or less. Having a steadier flow of Small Things i can fee#l like I'm actually accomplishing will maybe help it not just be like 'okay I spent a whole day doing somehting and have nothing tangible to#show for it because it's just text in a word document that probably nothing will ever even come of because it will take me years to finish'#The biggest insurmountable task at the moment is the worldbuilding slideshow but I am chugging through.. slowly lol.. It takes me about#2 hours to read 25 slides (they're not bullet points it's like little paragraphs on each slide). and I have about 800 to go. so thats..#naur.. i shant even calculate it... plus editing one hour of vidoe usually takes about 2 hours so you double it. if I have that much recordi#ng of me reading slides to edit. then turning them all into a final video should take.... i cannot say. i shall not think of it#And I've just had a very stressful few weeks HOWEVER I just always like tp start the new year with stuff cleared like.. all of my messages I#haven't answered in 3+ weeks responded to. all of my emails to my doctors checked. house cleaned and organized. photos cleared and organized#off of the computer. everyting backed up in some sort of physical storage. clear out drafts. rewrite all of my main todo lists. decide prio#rities and yearly/monthly/weekly goals. consider the trajectory of my life and what I need to do. etc. etc. So I feel like I don't have any#time to waste and can't rest. yet.. alas.. It doesn't help that I feel sick out of nowehre like 50% of the time#I know some poeple can work/focus on tasks with body aches and etc. but my brain is just always like 'No. :)' .. grrrbb
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the-way-astray · 7 months
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it should be a crime for writers/creators to not make a crazy wall for their story that connects pictures representing the characters and plot points together with an obscene amount of yarn.
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zukkaoru · 2 years
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beloved, in your Professional opinion, if kaoru were to refer to kojiro using an affectionate nickname, what do you think he'd use?
hmmm that is. a very good question. i feel like kaoru wouldn't use affectionate nicknames a lot and he usually goes for more of an [insult] (affectionate) type vibe,, i could see him using something like "love" or "my love" though. teenage kaoru may have used "babe" but i feel like he wouldn't necessarily use that as an adult
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lyxchen · 1 year
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Me with my memory is like that scene in the 1950 Cinderella movie where the one mouse, Gus is trying to pic up all the pieces of corn but always drops some of them and then tries to pick them back up but fails while also fleeing from the cat and trying to keep all the corn but it's just too much corn!!
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astrxealis · 1 year
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damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy this adds to my roster of games that actually have Evidence#gotta play more soulsborne legitimately soon so i have more evidence of my range LMFAO ...#i love how my. taste in games is really broad tbh! i'm willing to try anything out but i do uhh am less inclined to the more popular ones?#unless i get into them by way of. personal. or without outside influence#but if there's a certain something that makes me dislike a media yeah ... i do end up more indifferent tho. ultimately#i think sdv is another huge example of how me and lune really go all in when getting into smth#like terraria. but we end up forgetting about it pretty soon after. oops!#it depends tbh on how bored we are? how much we have to do. so yeah#xiv was That for a very long time bcs we didn't really have anything else uhh insert hashtag xiv was there for us when nobody was#aaa so thankful to xiv fr. idk. i think about what it has done for me sometimes and i get really emotional!#also funny how things connect. i got back into tumblr bcs of jjk and then connected w others mostly thru gi. and then twt thru a friend i#met thru a school event wholy thru chance. who got me back into twt where i connected with others thru ff(xiv)#and i find it fascinating how people make friends irl! i think its easy for me to feel that way 1. its just who i am lol its in my nature#2. im more of a bystander so. yeah. ez for me to study people and people-watch. idm that much tbh#it's funny... hmm interesting? a bit sad too. wnvr i want to. Take A Step Further. i end up not caring anymore LMFAOOO but tbh it's really#nice in the long run! my outlook on life is pretty weird tbh like uhh... idk. hard to explain. complex#whenever i face a problem i'm. absolutely confident i'll get over it. and unfortunately i feel like that... sense of confidence is rather ra#rare*? idk. and the fact i've always known (always!) i'd love myself no matter what. even if sometimes i would be really insecure. i never#truly hated myself and i sincerely doubt i ever will. but the fact i often suceed and rise from my failures that sometimes they don't feel#like failures doesn't mean that uhh i'll end up facing my downfall through. naive confidence? i try to be self-aware and do my best for no#regrets and it's fascinating how my values in life are shaped by my past. not just me. everyone. damn. i think the formative years of a#person are so goddamn fascinating and also i'm still unsure what i want for college but it's already fucking march HELP#anyway wow. i dont want to be too harsh on myself if the What If bad scenario/s end up happening but i'll really try my best#my aunts on my dad side both got into up diliman and i'll be damned if i don't. i know i can do it. i just gotta put in a ton of effort.#okay rambles bye bye#also i've been staying up until 3/4 ever since break LMFAOOO SDV HAS RUINED ME dw i'll be good again next week lmfao
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#I talk too much#Cyrano de Bergerac#I feel like dying because of this play again. I don't know if in a good or bad way#I feel exhilarated and nervous and I would like to drink existence from a silver cup‚#but at the same time existence is hazy and misty and barely there at all#All that seems real is that which is nor real. The concept of what is written as if in its platonic form#and not even the words on paper that make me want to tear my chest apart and left me frustrated and trembling with emotion in equal parts#All that seems real is the shadow of someone desperate begging to someone else to not call a third person. And that's it. That's all#All of existence‚ past‚ present and future‚ is sustained just by the emotivity that evokes a scene that never took place#The condition of possibility of this scene existing in some way‚ even in a falsehood‚ as cause of reality itself#What I mean is that I'm reading and it feels like this is all there is to existence‚#but in a falling onto the realisation that is more a forgetting life than anything else‚#and yet that forgetfulness tastes like the closest rawest way of feeling alive#What I mean is that I'm reading and forgetting I exist while feeling more alive than I've felt in years‚#so alive I am no longer here‚ a 'no longer here' more present than anywhere else I've been in years#What I mean is that I'm reading and it's such a joy I wish I could die of it‚ to make it stop‚ because of how much it hurts#But the blood tastes so sweet I wouldn't change it for anything#I should probably delete this later#And read something else‚ or go back to not reading and do something useful#This is why I stopped reading. I'm unable to have a normal life if I love something‚ entirely incapable of getting anything of profit done
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