#i got emotional while answering this

[maribat-bdbwm]

I just wanted to say thank you for running this event for the past few years. It was what got me into this fandom and once I started writing one of my favourite events to participate in.

Thank you so much <3333

Thank you for your kind words 🥺

And to think this event was what got you into Maribat! 🥺 Very honored to know that this event got you to write for the fandom QuQ

When I first thought of wanting to start this event, I think I was just getting into Maribat myself, having a few fics out on A03 and seeing new tropes emerge in the fandom. And out of the tropes, I started to love the bio!dad trope, becoming a sucker for the damn trope and noticed there wasn't enough!

And I thought, oh, maybe I should write for it! And I did! But then I thought, should I start an event for it?

At this time, Maribat March, Angst April (or I think that was what it was called) and Daminette December were the major events and when I thought about those events... I became skeptical of myself.

Because I didn't have a large following like those blogs...I wasn't well known as other writers/artists in the fandom..

I remember asking the Maribat Insanity server if I should even do an event because...did anyone else like the trope?? After all, there were so little works...

And my god...the amount of support I got and the amount of people who encouraged me to give it a try...

So I gave it a shot.

I made an interest form May 2020 and by June 2020, the first calendar of the event was post and on September 2020, the event launched.

And so many people participated, writing fics on Tumblr, linking their works from A03, making art...

In 2021, people still participated and even extended the trope from Bruce being Mari's bio dad to other characters like Luka and Kagami.

In 2022 and 2023, not many people participated but I still hosted it because people were excited to create works for the fandom.

And I think...I think that is why I still hosted the event for the past four years...

The Maribat community was the first crossover community I dared to join after a friend introduced me to it and honestly was one of the most welcoming, most creative communities I've been a part of and a community I will always hold dearly to my heart.

They inspired me to write, to grow as a writer, as a person and knowing this event introduced you to this community and helped you start your journey as a fellow writer... it really means a lot and once again shows how the community just continues to inspire...

So again...thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3 and I'm happy you enjoyed writing for this event <3

Thank you.

#i got emotional while answering this #...it really has been 4 year huh #mod anju

[nintendonut1]

I don't know how to phrase it in English, but your art has this vibe of, like. Those hand-drawn animated films by small studios from the late nineties through the early 2010's. Those that would have a lot of frames of animation, and a lot of movement on-screen at all times, with a cast of very pleasant-sounding yet suprisingly lesser-known voice actors, and were definitely a labour of love, with little to no corporate force strangling the whimsy out of them. Which is also probably why you can get away with some truly visceral and emotional stuff, while spacing it out with enough fun stuff that it hits all the harder, when you want it to.

Alternatively, your art is very chewy. Like some kinda fruity gum. Both of these statements are meant to be compliments in the best way possible.

anon i.....i.................................

HHHRGGGHHH THIS IS THE NICEST ASK I'VE GOTTEN WHAT THE HELL.....

what the hell........................................

#nutty's answers #anonymous #anon you have the best timing #i'm playing bug fables and i got to That Part about Leif and i'm utterly broken #and then you just threw this at me while i was most vulnerable #the happy and sad are now whirling in a cyclone of emotion within me and i'm gayyyYYYYY ABOUT IT #no i'm sorry thank you so much hhrghhhrgh #thank you anon thank you thank you thank you

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!

I just have to know- it's day six going into seven for Palmarosa. Contract part-two is in four days...

Do you see these next few chapters being explicit? Is Raphael truly intending to let Astarion see how life under contract is going to be, or is Raphael purposely holding back to lure Astarion into that next contract?

And, in your opinion, do you think that if Astarion truly sees Raphael at his cruelest towards him, he would be more comfortable signing a second? Able to know what the worst is instead of some nightmare he dreams up?

I love your story, and how you write Astarion. Thanks for your time!

It's still day 5!

I can't believe it's still day 5 in the contract, but it is, I'm writing a timeline and everything this time. So much has happened on this day, lmao.

(Chapters 13-18 all happen on the same day T.T)

I do think there's explicit content coming, but Raphael very much wants Astarion in that second contract, that being said, he's already cocked it up a few times already lmao. There's no guarantee he won't do that in other ways. I do plan writing-wise to get Astarion into that second contract though. Raphael oscillates between playing a very good long-game and then snapping and ruining his hard work, lol.

And, in your opinion, do you think that if Astarion truly sees Raphael at his cruelest towards him, he would be more comfortable signing a second? Able to know what the worst is instead of some nightmare he dreams up?

Raphael is not going to be his cruelest, and actually still isn't even though he does kind of lash out at Astarion in a very intense manner in the upcoming chapter. We've not seen Raphael at his worst. This is a guy who sees nothing wrong with keeping people in 'bones shattered in 100 places' levels of agony for hundreds of years. Even Raphael snapping is still Raphael not...giving himself to torture Astarion like he would an Eternal Debtor.

Astarion actually threatens to break the contract at the end of chapter 18 and through chapter 19. But...he hasn't yet.

Astarion has a lot of learned helplessness because of his experiences with Cazador. I imagine he had plenty of times to convince himself he was going to escape / find a way to beat the system etc. only to have all of that brainwashed and mind-read out of him. I am sure Cazador is the kind of person to know that someone will try and escape him and watch them try and then torture them for trying as a reminder that they are enslaved to him not just in body but in mind as well.

I don't think Astarion at this point is fully in contact with the part of him that knows he can walk away.

But also, Astarion accepted this first contract fully expecting to be raped and tortured regularly. He literally considered that and negotiated to make sure none of the torture caused permanent harm. This was a guy who negotiated a contract with stipulations based solely on expecting to be tortured/rape. From Astarion's perspective, Raphael hasn't actually done 99% of what Astarion expected him to do.

In some ways, that makes things harder for Astarion. Not knowing what to expect, and getting whole days where everything's uncertain but 'generally fine' followed by explosions of Raphael's temper etc. is like...still very hard for him to endure. But in a different kind of way.

I think Raphael's going to lay out the terms of the second contract very clearly soon, and Astarion will baulk simply because the terms of the contract will involve him doing two things he very much doesn't want to do. One goes against his personal ethics (and he's already refused to do it around Raphael once), and the second goes against his trauma history. And Raphael knows that. He isn't planning on tricking Astarion into that contract, he's banking on the idea that Astarion will still think the prize is worthwhile.

What I think Raphael is finding frustrating is that he had plans to introduce the concept of the second contract soon and Verillius came along and kind of ruined everything lmao. Raphael is pissed off for a lot of reasons right now. Can't a devil just manipulate a victim into a more high stakes contract in peace?

Unfortunately the Magic 8 Ball says no :D

#asks and answers #palmarosa #thespectaclesofthor #astarion will definitely not see the worst before the second contract #and there will be times in the second contract where he's genuinely upset by what terms he's expected to fulfill #and raphael will enjoy that #the evolution of their relationship through the second contract i'm looking forward to writing tbh #because this fic will also explore astarion's learned helplessness #and the fact that in some ways #raphael antagonises that and kind of can't help himself #it's almost like he wants astarion to learn how to be more genuinely independent and self-respecting #so he's got more to tear down #and i find that really interesting #raphael is after all half human #somewhere in there he is capable of the full scope of human emotion #and i think he has some affinity to and solidarity with astarion #while still being someone who genuinely hungers to hurt someone when he wants to soothe himself #and who literally needs to torture people to feel alive dsaklfjas #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

#oh to be miraposting on a sunday evening instead of catching up on schoolwork #I love how you can see the exact moment while writing this that I had a brain blast akdhks #me: sorry I can't elaborate also me: types out. three paragraphs #also if you're comfortable with that I'm curious what you could have possibly said that it'd be considered fumbling #dms are open if you send it into an ask I'll answer privately and again only if you want to share #cause like I want to see different perspectives on this so bad even if they're not eloquent #especially since it's not really something that ever got to me much? but that I can kinda see why it'd be upsetting #my suspension of disbelief is just too tanked for it to get an emotional reaction of me especially with the rest of the cast for contrast #I'm too busy being annoyed at everyone else's portrayal in that game not to mention idk it feels like #like schlocky hollywood no thoughts character archetype go brr type ableism #not the really insidious woven into the narrative stuff that I usually want to rant about cough cough youtube video I'll probably never mak #like pretty sure it's stated somewhere that the idea for her character was uchikoshi going hm. there's been femme fatales in these games #but none of them have been Really “Fatale” you know? he literally just wanted the big booba character to also be the stabby character #zero escape #ztd #mira ztd #if this should be under a readmore. let me know #zero escape spoilers

[cheemken]

Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.

I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.

Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.

Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha

Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo

But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight

And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him

Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes

Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha

#speaking of i was supposed to post smth last night abt dray and iris too but i got so tired i forgot cbndnd #now i really forgot what its supposed to be lmfao #but damn tho w his cool kid persona he really gives off dave vibes hahah #idk its just that i know despite how he is he cares a bit too much but never ever shows it #bc emotions will only hurt you more yknow so he keeps it all in #idk i think that while hes good at hiding his emotions hes so shit at handling them #like w kieran he knows itd mess w kieran if he gets beaten again by the player #and how kieran doesnt like being called ex champ anymore as hes apologizing to drayton #but idk i think hed be the type to hold grudges bc yeah hes shit at handling emotions #he means well yknow its all fun and games for him #but sometimes payback is payback. and for him payback is fair #pokemon hcs #an ask and an answer #anon

[cashweasel]

It was hard to pick,,,,, so, fjskdjsksjs it’s so many (only sort of sorry,,ngl) 😂

5,17 for kiyazan

9,25 for daemon nd karima

8,15 for Gideon and valen loll

29 for all of em 💀

Once again I FORGOT ABOUT A BLORBO ASK but I literally had this in the drafts and everything and today I bring you answers FHRHDJKSSJ

Kiyazan:

5. How do they comfort each other when they are sad?

Yazan is a big actions guy so if something is bothering her he’d want to take care of it and fix it immediately also kiki loves cuddles and cuddles she shall receive fjskakdjdk will literally do anything to make it better,, holding her, talking about it, dancing it out, ordering her favorite takeout (yazan talking about it is a mix him being sincere and dissing the shit out of the person/situation and I kinda love it djdjskdjdk) leaving kiki’s part for you because I wanna know 😌💗

17. Their ways of expressing their love.

We talked about yazan putting up the shelves that kiara got that have been sitting around since forever and that pretty much what it’s about 😂 he just does things for her, or does things so she doesn’t have to. Pre relationship or pre living together yazan would just go around her house and fix anything that needed fixing fjdksidjdk,, also a big part of why he doesn’t mind doing the chores. To put it shortly acts of service and quality time!

Daemon and karima:

9. How open are they with their feelings?

I know why you’re asking this 😂💀 karima is…. Unfortunately still not the best at it at least in a serious vulnerable context and she bottles up a lot BUT she would sit down with him and be like “can I tell you something homie to homie 😔” and even then she tries to to keep it from getting too deep even when it comes to expressing love she’s not one to get Too sentimental but will let him know she cares about him. But this is mostly when they’re still in the beginning of their relationship (honestly it might take her 2+ years of being like that 💀) but I will say the first time she lets herself cry in front of him…………..

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

FHDKSJSKDJ ok so you know karima will just KO whenever wherever and her sleep is heavyyyyyy lol and I just think daemon doesn’t let her sleep in her makeup that’s all 😌 she’s knocked tf out snoring and all and he’s just 🥰 wiping her makeup off and doing her skincare for her

Valen and Gideon:

8. What are their most prominent memories of each other?

PLEASE 😭 valen’s is that he used to keep a pet rat as a kid, everybody refused to acknowledge it because it wasn’t actually a pet it was some rat he found lurking in their gardens and deemed it his bestie and would check up on it every day fssksjdjdj and when the rat died gideon was the one that buried and held a funeral for it 😔

Gideon’s most prominent memory has to be valen punching his dad in a room full of people loll bc not only was it incredibly humiliating and an act of love towards his bestie but it was also the first time anyone really stood up to this bully of a man and he just got wrecked by a teenager fjskaksjdj it was great seeing him hunched over w a bleeding nose until he made a comment about the company his son keeps and then it was both boys vs the guards trying to tear them off him fjdksksjskdn

15. Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?

Sort of lol,, gideon struggles so much with his self image and thinks he’s broken and has nothing to offer or that letting ppl get to know him is essentially a burden on him and them so he just doesn’t make friends or meaningful relationships easily and valen over here just Fails to fathom it because to him gideon’s the most solid friend he’s ever had and literally nothing like all those things he says about himself and so he always makes it a point to let him know all the things he appreciates about him

Valen on the other hand thinks he’s the most interesting and amazing person anyone has the pleasure of knowing and that he’s worth it and because he’s set that expectation for himself any criticism from others or negative emotions from himself is shoved aside in favor of the facade and while gideon agrees he’s amazing and lowkey idolizes him lol he’s the only one actually capable of giving him a reality check that he’ll listen to and seeing him as just valen

All:

29. What are your favorite moments that happen between them?

WAAHHHH LMAO ok to be completely fair my fave kiyazan moment is them throwing up into the same toilet together and kiki tolerating the bugs yazan collects despite hating them bc if this isn’t love idk what is 😂

My favorite daemon karima moment is him kicking the ball in her face when they first met DJDKSKDJDJFN and also ceramics class

And my fave valengideon moment is them going into the city and buying some lame lizard which turned out to be a large dragon they tried hiding in a barn where hay and fire don’t mix very well SGDHFKSKDJDJ rip

[oc romance asks]

#hope this helps 😂👍 #I think I spent 3 hours writing this 💀 #im obliterated bye #how could you ask me these questions #I’m politely requesting your blorbos pov for this btw I need to know how kiki comforts Yazan and how open daemon is about his feels #karima still acting nonchalant with him for a while and then letting the floor gates open one day is just so emotional to me fjrjskdjdk #that hit me harder than it should’ve negl #Valen was devastated when the rat died #bawled his eyes out the entire funeral rip #you and your bestie beating tf out of his asshole dad can be so romantic actually FJSKAJDKDKDJ #they got into trouble with valen’s dad that night but he thought that going for the nose was a great move for what it’s worth so it wasn’t #a complete loss loll #(typing that made me realize that even tho they were grounded #they all agreed that it was safer to have gideon stay with them a few days than sending him back to his dad) and I hated it #ask #oc asks #thank u for these I had fun answering them 💗💗💗💗💗 #my ocs #kiyazan #daemon x karima #valen x gideon

[ceruleanfuckup]

So I had a fantastic date tonight.

#it was a gym date and the first time we were meeting each other so i was nervous about it but it turned out to be really really nice #he's new to the poly stuff and the way that he spoke about it told of an emotional and intellectual intelligence that was so fuckin hot #he's really cute and we have a kind of shocking amounts of crazy passions that are exactly the same #he can quote scott pilgrim as much as me #he has dice tattoos #he got really excited when i gave him the origami ball i made while bored in a meeting today and wouldn't stop fidgeting with it #we got dinner afterwards and talked a lot about a lot of different things about each other and it was just really nice #and he told me i have the prettiest brown eyes 🥺 #he also said that he showed his husband my pictures and he was like 'damn he looks like he has a strong stomach.not abs but like a strongmn #and i got SO EXCITED #i pointed out my gym crushes to him because i wanted to test the jealousy waters and he reacted very well #he answered my questions with a level of thoughtfulness and contemplation that i felt deeply attracted to #i just think I'm going to fall for him really hard and I'm very very excited about it #my love life has been... lackluster recently for a lot of different reasons #and I'm so fucking excited to have someone that i can be excited about who is just as excited about me #I've been craving that for so long #I'm just thrilled and looking forward to the next date #we're going to be talking a lot #I'm gonna be a little sad for a second. the person who i thought was my stream of consciousness has shown me that he doesn't really care #and that's been hard for me to come to terms with. we haven't even had a conversation about it #but he's been the only person that I can tell things to when i get excited about something #and i don't feel like i have that. so I'm writing in a Tumblr post about this because I don't feel like i have anyone #to get excited with me about things #hopefully that will change soon. I'm very hopeful about him. #just please. whatever deity is out there. please let me find some happiness here. i have been craving and wishing for way too long #personal #edit: another very very good sign is that he's much smaller than me and a trans man who is getting back into the gym #but he didn't seem intimidated by my size and was even comfortable taking flexing selfies with me after. #if existing around me or in that setting triggered any physical insecurities #he didn't show it. which was a big change from the ball of anxiety i saw when walking into the gym. I'm just impressed in a few ways

[dinitride-art]

looks at ao3, finds nothing new that I want to read right at this moment (probably a fic in there I’m gonna end up reading later and being like woah this is great! But I don’t have the energy for that right now). Goes to my own works page. Stares. Glances over a multi chapter fic (incomplete), moves on. Sees another multi chapter fic, my baby, (incomplete) but… there’s not much else left to do. What if… no. I couldn’t. I- I shouldn’t. But… maybe… if I opened the document I could just… look and see

#the problem with that specific multi chapter fic #is that I started writing it and I wrote a bunch of it #and then I edited it as I went through it #and then I was kinda depressed for a hot minute and that definitely reflected in my writing #and I haven’t been able to figure out a way to fix it yet #also went through a crisis when writing it- and there’s another related crisis going on now #but i working on that one (hello aspec identities I’ve been ignoring) #so writing this is just… gonna be interesting #like hi yes I’d like to write about romance while questioning my own ability to feel that specific… thing? emotion? #this was supposed to be a funny fic about mike getting hit in the face in funny and unusual ways #wait- wait a fucking second- I’ve got it- I know how to write the next chapter #holy shit #that’s the answer #the rule of threes #once a wall twice a door and thrice- #thrice will be my final chapter #or second to last- final leg of the story #yes. yesss. it’s all coming together #I think #maybe #fuck #I don’t know anymore #aaauuuugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #what do I even have written #what do I have left to write #why did I start writing this fic #I have so many questions

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

hiii uh. dunno if this will make any sense, im kinda just throwing my thoughts at you

OKAY. so. been thinking about kuron(again) and the thing im just realising how ALONE he is, at least at the beggining. the people he thought of as his family fucking KILLED him, stole his body, and then basically forgot about him for YEARS. and after being ressurected- like, in the first few days, weeks, months- did kuron had ANY support? anyone to lean on?? to help him adjust to being alive again?

i know he starts to meet new people and make friends, and thats great! but. at the beggining....... lance was in a coma 'n shit, team voltron propably wasnt too enthusistic about helping kuron, and it just hit me that, at least the way i understand it(i might be wrong), he had to figure EVERYTHING out by himself

thats FUCKED dude

Oh god yes!!! To be honest i dont really have like a detailed idea for this part of the story like at best i have this one idea where Veronica is the first one to find him. Like in my head Veronica has been trying to track down Lance cause he ran away/didnt give the address once he moved out, isnt picking up his goddamn phone and literally dropped from the face of the earth and she cant find a trace of him. That was until apparently Lance?? 'Attacked' Shiro?? Like Shiro's fine just fainted and on bedrest and according to Curtis, Lance was saying something about "he is still in there" before apparently using Magic?? Somehow?? And taking something? From Shiro?? Yeah Veronica has no fucking clue. But a lead is a lead and she was able to track down Lance's new home only to find 1) a guy butt fuck naked coming out of a quintessence filled tub like the girl from Shining and who looks a bit like her boss. 2) her brother unconscious. She instinctly about to pull a gun on him except Kuron just slips and hits the floor, so now Veronica has two men she needs to drag to a hospital. Joy.

So like yeah Kuron's first stranger-to-acquintance-to-friend is Veronica. She neither has the history of All That™ the others have with Kuron, knows a bit about the clone situation to not be weirded out by it, but also doesnt really care about the whole Evil Clone thing™, cause i am so sorry but she has seen this man fall on his face first 5 times and counting, cry over a fridge ad that had kittens in it, and try to name himself Frank Shelley, even if he somehow becomes Evil~ Veronica is sure she can just Take him down easily, and like what is she supposed to do? Just leave him? He clearly has even less of an idea what is going on and she cant in good conscience leave him like this.

And thing is that Veronica does want to support Kuron, because he deserves that! It's the right thing to do and he deserves that! But at the start he really is a stranger to her and Lance is more of a priority to her than he is, and he is like one of the only leads that explains what is going on with Lance. And while she wont admit this but Kuron can tell and like logically He Gets That™!! He Gets That™!!! And he wants to help Lance too!! But he's also someone who is used and thrown away by everyone around him and this shit hurts like hell. Like this is a recipe of disaester for both of them and will result in a shouting match but right now Kuron is too high on pain meds and pain of being alive again to truly get into it so.

So like physically he isnt really alone in figuring this out, Veronica is trying to help him as much as she can help him, and the hospital staff she dragged him to are really nice to him as well. Emotionally......well there is effort. Vero is trying! Heck she even defended him when Shiro suggested they should lock him up cause he was a danger to everyone and is evil. She is trying but she also has her own trauma, whatever is going on with Lance, her family having separation anxiety, her job, etc etc and she can only do so much, and like Kuron is also trying but he is also dealing with so much and pushing it into the back burner and my guy is just not having great time at all. So like yeah he did had to figure out so much himself

#Kuron uses what scrapes of emotional intelligence he has to be understanding of Veronica so he can be unapologetic Shiro-Keith-Allura hater #It's like you try to find your lost brother only to come across his freaky necromancy science project and him in coma what do you do? #obviously not abandon him! She has read Frankenstein no thanks #Kuron being adopted by McClain siblings wasnt something i thought of but this idea is starting to be very appealing #Kuron is Lance's Little Guy while he is Veronica's Pathetic Little Meow Meow #This is the only idea i got that would actually make sense but i also am a bit hesitant to use it cause i dont know A lot about Veronica #But i also dont want to do to her what vld did to Pidge #I decided to be a bit nice to Kuron for once and gave him a friend and he decided to have complicated relationship with this one too jfc #Like dude get your shit together #What? You gonna have a beef with that janitor as well? Have a complex intricate relationship with that lovely old nurse too? Come on dude #post s8 au #empty answers #kuron voltron #kuron vld #veronica mcclain #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #voltron legendary defender #Thank you for the ask!!!

[emilycollins00]

HII back at you boo with the fanfic writer asks!! 🥺✨💋👀!!!!

also not related but i need you to know that your guy wedding ficlet just about murdered me in the best way possible and i wouldn't ask to go out any other way 💕

OH!! Jumping on u and sticking like a koala 💕

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

When they are comforted! It doesn't matter if it's via fluff or angst, I love to see characters being taken care of, especially if the chara is not used to it if that's the case I'm already ugly sobbing.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Mmmmmmmmmm I've gotten better at narrating!! I feel like the stories have a bit more body rather than almost everything being dialogue. Hadn't done this in a while! pats pats on me thanks deli seems like I needed this without knowing asdfgh

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

If I had to chose love em, BUT the real answer is I don't dislike them but don't really go for them. Love the pining, crushes, realizations and established relationships but first kisses are so difficult for me to both write and get in the zone for some reason like, what happens next? the story usually ends with it when I want more asdfghjk.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I have a bunch of requests but I've been so picky with them? In the sense that I LOVE them so I really reeeally want to make them justice but inspiration+real life work has been a assle oof. Among them are so many awesome ideas from fluff to angst in no related order with citron, homare, banri, tsuzuru, juza, tsumugi, sakyo, masumi, omi, sakuya... a bunch. I really hope I can make them come to life <3

Now! Of my own? I do have two wips related to this thing I still remember having SO much fun writing: Autumn troupe watching PIXAR movies but this time for summer and spring troupe hoho

#This was so sweet of you loveee thanks! #also crying I admire your work a lot so was over the moon knowing you liked it!! it had been a while since I wrote so sdfghjk doubts #absolutely floored we all got emotional together means a lot <33 #sending a super hug! #emi answers

[frick6101719]

tag game tag game tag game

tagged by @feelinglikecleopatra and it's been a MINUTE since I did one of these! Thanks 😘

3 ships: Everlark and Kanej are, now and always, close to my heart. Haven't devoted much energy to Reaperstang recently but they are also always there.

first ship: probably Everlark? I have no memory. Although I watched The Princess Diaries recently and was reminded that Queen Clarise and Joe are my entire generation's ACTUAL first ship...

last song: A Little Honey by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats (a summer JAM)

last film: DIRTY DANCING because one of my housemates hadn't seen it. The sexiest movie ever imo

currently reading: officially I'm still reading Anna Karenina, but I've been on hiatus for a couple weeks.

currently watching: the motherfucking Toronto Maple Leafs games that's what. And an episode of The Office or Community between periods. Also rewatching Supernatural with my housemate

currently craving: Arizona Green Tea, perpetually.

~~~

Thanks for the tag Cleo! I'm tagging @im-doing-hot-girl-shit, @rosegardeninwinter, @the-sun-and-the-sea, @totchipanda, and @cameliawrites.

#tag game #I was shook to realise I don't know what my first ship is #it's probably something actually super strange #but seeing as 8yo Mav is not here to answer this honestly we may never know #Everlark is at least the first SHIP that got me into fandom #I'm sad and nervous also the Leafs play in an hour #and it's the first game of the postseason I'm not watching with the man whose home I'm trying to wreck #we can't afford to throw off any of the vibes #things are way too fragile #we could be done tonight #and I'm emotionally compromised #the Leafs should realise how cruel it would be to be eliminated while I'm not with my emotional support boy toy #the Matthias to my Nina #send help I'm a mess

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Delete this if it's weird but your post about naming your blog after one of the royals guards from hxh reminded me of something. So I am part of a DID system and some of the alters have many traits/appearance of my abusers, including some with the same names. They'd do things that were harmful as a way of keeping everyone safe. Anyways, recently our host watched hxh and one of those parts really connected with Neferpitou going from this absolutely inhumane monster of sorts to slowly learning how empathy and compassion works and has now changed their name from their original name of our abuser they're based off to Pitou instead now. Anyways I'm happy for them and just wanted to share that with ya

I held onto this ask for a while bc I was debating how detailed I wanted my response to be, but I think this is a story I've been wanting to tell for a while and if there was ever a time to fully discuss this, it would be here; the naming and themeing extends to myself as well as my blog - I do go by the name Shai irl, though I'm a little picky with where I choose to use it over the name I've had for longer (Rigel). Before I go into any more detail, I want to congratulate you for that development! It sounds like a moment of positive growth, and I'm glad you got to experience that.

The short answer is that I've basically taken my experiences with dissociation and something that may be multiplicity and fully redirected it all into a sense of spirituality. My therapist had encouraged me to not pathologize it; I was just hammering at my own personal experiences and being fixated on feeling like something was wrong with me and needed to be fixed - normal people don't experience thoughts and feelings that don't belong to them. With that being said, a large part of my recovery work was/is with acceptance; I was forced to mask a lot of things while growing up (autism, physical disability, queerness, etc) and there was a huge push from my family to seem as "normal" as possible, and now I'm actively undoing that and my work with being in the otherkin community is a massive cornerstone of that work. I identified very heavily with shaiapouf and my therapist actually watched hxh so we could use pouf as a therapy tool for me. Me naming myself after him is a huge gesture of the love I was able to give myself via my coping process - recognizing him in my trauma, and working with him to recover.

The longer answer is that I've experienced dissociation that leans towards multiplicity for a number of years now, with aforementioned thoughts and feelings included. I never had any memory loss, and the experience of another person being with me wasn't well developed enough for the definition of an alter, so I felt stuck with an experience I had no words for and no way of relating to other people with similar experiences. I remember describing it as feeling possessed, like there was suddenly another consciousness present with my own. These experiences are a lot less intense now, and I attribute that to my acceptance of them instead of pushing them away in fear. It was a while before I said anything to my therapist and was genuinely mortified because it felt like something was very seriously wrong with me and I had to fix it at all costs (with the idea of needing to "fix" things that were "wrong" with me or my life being a repeating theme as well).

Over time, as I stopped pushing everything away, I was able to start seeing where the emotions and thoughts that came with the episodes (not necessarily triggering them) were coming from, but still struggled to accept them as my own when they felt so foreign. Acceptance has brought me a long way and we've now teased out that this is a massive way for me to process not just my trauma, but the grief accompanying it.

My therapist was the one who had initially suggested I take a spiritual approach to this, and I found that in the otherkin community, where, upon actually looking at the original contexts of some of the words used in the community, found things I'd been describing to my therapist over a year ago. I'd prior been fond of the idea of reincarnation and fully embraced it in this process. My first (and so far only) tattoo is of his wings, I'll carry him with me for the rest of my life; I derived one of my names from his own. This character has been highly influential in my life and I've fully embraced him for it. He means a lot of things to me - reflection of my own trauma, the power and rage I wish I could have demonstrated while in the process of being traumatized, the delicate masculinity I wish to have as a trans man, and much more I'm sure. A lot of my episodes seem to happen when helplessness kicks in, like something to help distance myself from my pain; I feel him in righteous fury when I know I deserve better. Not all of it is bad though, I had one while I was looking at Christmas lights a few months ago and felt like I was looking at the world for the first time, simple delight as if holding someone else's hand and showing them.

All in all, I thank you for sharing your story and for giving me a place to share some of mine.

#this got a little rambley but i think ive been wanting to talk about this for a while. this isn't a 100% complete account but #it does cover the major points #this doesnt feel like an answer but the ask wasn't necessarily a question now was it? #i think this is the first time ive ever genuinely uttered the word ''multiplicity'' on this blog #i feel fully at peace with this now however! the experiences dont distress me and finding a community where people #have had experiences quite similar to my own makes me feel very good; especially since it shows just how subjective experience really is #i stopped seeing this as an issue when i asked myself why it would be so pertinent for me to stop having this #like my autism it's merely another way to experience the world; not necessarily something that needs to be corrected #yes the fact that this is trauma based is awful but what i have gotten from everything ive talked about is something #i wouldn't trade for the world #haha whoops got VERY genuine and emotional for a minute 🤫 anyways thank you for the message it did make me smile #asks #🦋 tag

[postmodernlover]

.

#tw self harm #i told my professor about my cutting and it was nice to talk to someone who could respond in an actually helpful way #i call him my professor because that is technically what he is but hes become a sort of real friend recently #which is good bc i dont have any nowadays really #a bit sad for him tho #anyway it was nice to actually get to talk to someone about it who was capable of being an adult about it is the best way to describe it? #like i told my then partner about it and they kinda just didnt say anything? like didnt even acknowledge that it was something i said #i told my best friend about it and hes sweet but he mostly just got upset and asked me to stop #its a resonable thing to get emotional about but that wasnt the response i needed #but my professor just asked me if i wanted to talk to him about it while he walked his dog #i said yeah because i wanted to meet his dog and we went on a walk and it was nice #he said he didnt find it that weird since he had a girlfriend who did it in college #he let me explain and didnt try to change my mind and just asked me what i thought about everything #and when i couldnt answer he just pointed out some ducks and we talked instead about the kinds of turtles living in the canal #ive been in therapy for a long time but that was probably the nicest conversation i ever had about my self harm #im really emotional and lonely typing this out but i wanted to at least document a little of what im feeling right now

[straight-to-the-pain]

Another prompt because I have ideas. A FW doing anything in their power to not see their reflection. Maybe they've been branded, maybe they've got scars they're ashamed of, maybe they just can't bear to see themself. They catch a glimpse of themself in a window one day, and out of the blue start crying. Not sobbing, just quietly crying. They feel so bad for themself, so ashamed of what they've been through.

Yeah, yeah you’ve got really good ideas about emotional and psychological whump anon! Like, that absolutely feels like a scenario that I can empathise with, the shame of what happened as an intrinsic sort of part of them, inseparable from the marks and their physical form.

Maybe the person who hurt them was related to them somehow and they can see their features in their own eyes, the curve of their lips, the curls of their hair. Maybe they just can’t get the image of their own body covered in blood and marks out of their mind even when the dirt has been washed off and the wounds have healed. So much angst potential.

#whump #asks answered #emotional whump #past trauma #abuse #maybe #like I definitely think this stuff can be intense and it’s not for everyone #but personally it’s like almost more cathartic than whumpy to address these sorts of complex emotions and feelings #tropes and prompts #I really appreciate these asks btw I got them while I was on shift and I smiled when I saw them

[yoonstudios]

.

#another vent! don't read if you don't want to! it's long. #so um. my mom and i got in a small fight while out shopping. not anything extraordinary just a regular small dispute and she got #kind of annoyed. and whenever anyone annoys her she *always* says 'it's fine' or 'i'm fine/over it" and it has become noticeable to me #over time. so i told her 'i know you're annoyed with me' and she literally told me 'fine. do you want me to just start telling me that #i'm annoyed with you??' and i was like 'what? yes! why wouldn't i want you to??' but she didn't really answer it. we got into the car #and i said 'sorry i didn't mean to upset you earlier' and of course she was like 'oh it's fine' so i just said to her: #'what i wanted to say was that telling me how i annoyed you and told me what you thought would get us a lot further than just covering your #emotions with a constant 'i'm fine' and not telling me anything.' #and was just like: 'i love you madison but that's not how it works.' #like ????? girl yes it is how it works!! good communication strengthens trust in relationships!! how is this a foreign concept to you?? #but something clicked when she said 'look your father hates it when people talk about their feelings or how actions and words #make them feel. if i get used to telling you how you made me feel then i'll start doing it to your father.' #and i just fuckin. sat there. i didn't even say anything for a good minute bc i was so astonished but everything like. made sense. #this house is so full of 'i don't care' 'fuck you/off' 'i'm fine' and so many other harsh words and careless but hostile name-calling— #we don't even know how to tell each other how we feel and think. there's no healthy connection. whenever someone gets emotional by #crying or saying something about how they feel they're called 'soft' 'snowflake' 'sensitive' or sometimes worse names i won't mention #but it's all the same shit. the shaming of being human is revolting but it also shows how dysfunctional this household is. like #it seriously checks every. single. mark. i don't even tell my mom about my problems because all i ever get back is a 'just relax' or #'stop being ridiculous' and there's no sign of comfort or trying to problem-solve anything. it's just 'get over it you'll be fine.' #it made me realize that everyone in this house doesn't know how to properly communicate or work through emotions- thoughts- and conflicts. #myself included. ever since the age of 9 i had such a hard HARD time showing and receiving affection (physical and emotional) from friends #but i didn't know why! it just felt so goddamn foreign! but now it just. now i understand where my deeply rooted #emotional unavailability came from. healthy communication of affection and conflict was never shown to me and all i ever saw from #my parents were fights. lots and lots of fights. i think i thought that's all normal relationships looked like. i thought any affection or #display of healthy communication was fake and a trap of some kind so i just never even chanced a good friendship. i started having healthy #friendships just in late 2020 when i started realizing what in the fuck was going on. i'm more mature than a reserved 9 year old girl now #of course so i'm learning how to be more emotionally available but. i just need a minute. what the fuck.

[maddy-ferguson]

i spent 365 out of the last 523 days thinking about a guy i liked when i was 12 because he was the last tether i had to hetero/bisexuality

#tmi alert: #basically in early 2021 i was like: am i a lesbian? i know i don't think guys are attractive and i wouldn't date one i'm gonna try to #determine whether or not i would sleep with one #and he was the one i imagined myself doing it with because he's like objectively good-looking and there's a bit of an emotional connection😭 #and i couldn't even do it in my mind even though with a girl no problem obviously #and so i was like well i'm gonna keep not thinking about that too hard #and then i downloaded tinder and i had only girls usually because as we established i didn't want to date💪 #ignore the emoji lmao i didn't want to date/sleep with a guy but sometimes i would put guys back on to laugh at them mostly bc it was funny #sorry and i'd see guys i knew from school you know and in july i saw him and i swiped right bc it was fun it was funny i wanted to talk #to him again (we knew each other it wasn't a crush on a stranger) and turns out he had swiped right too so we matched yeah that's how #tinder works anyway i said something lighthearted about how it had been a while and about how we used to sit next to each other in this one #class AND HE NEVER ANSWERED? #so of course i became obsessed with the situation and after a while i planned on sending him another msg a year later to be like haha it's #been a year that's so funny...WHICH I DIDN'T DO when the time came because it's more embarrassing than it is funny #but because i planned on talking to him again after a year i thought about it and about him every single day even though it wasn't even #that important i barely thought about him before the whole trying to picture myself having sex with him thing (...) like i REALLY did not #care about him it was just that thinking i was gonna catch up with him and then just not getting to got to me you know.... #and it's crazy because either way i knew nothing was gonna happen but i was like if i had to sleep with a guy lt would be him! so the whole #situation (even though it wasn't a whole situation) kind of did a number on me. then when i didn't send the message it was like i was #instantly cured it's so funny the whole thing (again. not a whole thing) set me back a whole year #and like i say: brf slt