#i have a lot of thoughts.

[azems-familiar]

"you would be wise to surrender."

"yeah, probably."

#jedi fallen order #jfo #star wars #cal kestis #cere junda #darth vader #my edits #yeah so i just finished replaying jfo and it holds up man #i'm still feeling so normal about this game #i have a LOT of thoughts. #also these shots may not look edited but they are very definitely not the og versions #i'll be going back to survivor soon now that i have hopefully #fixed the bug preventing me from continuing the game #but thought i'd post a few of my jfo adventures first

[ovenproofowl]

Despite the whackiness of the special effects, there were a lot of dark themes thrown about in this episode, but none - I think - were darker than the conversation the Doctor had with who he thought was Donna.

The fact she baits him by using the information she's learned from his mind, that she lets him think the DoctorDonna showed her everything that happened with Flux and the Doctor's own mysterious origins. And it kills me because the Doctor hasn't been able to talk to anyone about this. Not in depth. Not at all. And they're finally in a body that can say stuff like love and hug with abandon, facing one of their best friends and she knows everything, the Doctor thinks, so for just a second the walls go down and he steps forward and he's about to unleash it all.

And then the mask comes off. And it's not Donna at all, but he's still stood there with everything on the tip of his toungue with no choice but to swallow it down again. To yell and kick and scream where no one can hear him. Just like it's always been.

This was exactly how I was hoping they'd incorporate Flux and The Timeless Child into the story. I'm really wishing they'll stick to these themes going forward, with the Doctor's guilt and anger finally bubbling up, because so much could be done with it.

For now though, I am just so happy we got this.

#doctor who #dw spoilers #wild blue yonder #anyone who didn't watch chibnall's run needs to go back and watch it this is a demand. #timeless child and flux were some insane door opening levels of lore drop and i was geniunely terrified that it was just going to be #ignored like many lore drops that have come before it #i wonder now if ten's face coming back has something to do with the guilt thirteen still had when she died #that whole mentality of taking three steps back instead of one step forward #but i'm hoping the themes surrounding flux will continue forward for ncuti's run . now they've acknowledged it that's a 100% confirmation #the universe is still partially destroyed #so like. PLEASE tell me we'll get to play with that. pretty pleaseee. #i have a lot of thoughts.

[slautertm]

hc + 💕 for a loved-themed headcanon, hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon, hc + 🏠 for a home-themed headcanon, hc + 😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry

hc + 💕 for a loved-themed headcanon there is something that is completely and utterly heartbreaking about stephanie lauter but something that is deeply important to me and that is the lack of love - ANY TYPE OF LOVE from familial love ( of course her mother loved her very much but that was so long ago she does not remember it at all ) to love between friends ( she has 'friends' but after seeing how the nerds interact she's not sure that they are proper friends ) to love with a partner. steph has done various type of romantic relationships and has liked some of the people but never really felt love. it's one of the many reasons that she is trying to deny that she's in love with pete so abruptly and so fast despite making moves. it scares her a little bit, how quickly she falls and she worries he might not feel the same or she's in too deep but she cannot lie to herself for too long. it's sort of a similar thing with making friends or finding family- she worries about being overbearing or something similar. she does not know how to deal with love. and does not expect to be loved.

hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon this is something i have mentioned in passing, in replies and such but steph has the hardest goddamn time sleeping ( made worse by you know. Trauma in some verses but you know when in hatchetfield ). save for those timelines in which she goes through it ( any iteration of nerdy prudes, fantasy, mildly in abstinence camp oddly, and more ) it has nothing to do with nightmares and is in part something to do with a bad schedule--- coming home from the day and not starting homework till ten or eleven at the earliest. on nights when she actually does homework at a proper time and she actually gets into her bed, she cannot shut her brain up and stop herself from thinking till the am hours aka- steph has really bad insomnia and sleeps a lot better with someone else in her bed Thank you.

hc + 🏠 for a home-themed headcanon you know that stupid cheesy saying that is like home is where the heart is? it really isn't something steph can understand for the longest time. the lauter home has not been a home for a LONG time--- the pantries are empty, the house is big and feels echo-y and the decor feels false, it's not a home. she doesn't feel at home there. she finds home in people until she moves out--- but that is not until she makes and finds actual connections. when she goes to other people's homes, she finds herself complimenting it a lot ( usually just commenting how nice or homey it is because she can't find other words ) but likes how alive it looks. like it's lived in, like it's more than just show.

hc + 😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry people controlling other people in any sort of way is something that pisses steph off to no end. we know this. she's got a problem with authority and as of such has an issue with both school faculty and one max and his stupid fucking god complex. some of this does stem from her dad and the pressure she has been under, but she also is a firm believer that no one has the right to be so controlling of another person.

#{ HEADCANONS } #flemwadtm #i have a lot of thoughts.

[numbuh]

74.239: more and more planets where kids rule will fall

me, thinking about nigel's archive report and the utopia dream and the old bios/descriptions mentioning world domination:

#i have a lot of thoughts. #transmission.txt

[inblueropes]

yk sorry not sorry im probably gna end up talking here a LOT bc i have a ridiculously high libido AUHGADUGFKLDGLK so um....... welcome enjoy ur stay cries cries

#i have a Lot of thoughts. #and more fics to post eventually lol #🪢.doc

[ma-lark-ey]

Do we think the Percy Jackson fandom would appreciate me writing a Grey’s Anatomy AU. Asking for my autistic urges.

#percy jackson #pjo #fanfic #ig? #listen. #i have a lot of thoughts. #i think I might be the only person #ever #to have a dual special interest in shondaland and riordanverse

[filmdeve10ped]

does jon in a modern setting listen to h/arry styles? no. does he relate to a lot of songs from ha.rry’s house? absolutely.

#i have a lot of thoughts. #not just abt modern verses but also just verses where he gets older. #he has problems + a lot of ptsd and i just need to write a meta abt it later.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[seveneyesoup]

#TO CLARIFY ON THE SECOND POINT: VAMPIRES *HAVE* A REPRODUCTION METHOD THAT IS NOT SEX-BASED #THAT IS THE MAJOR POINT OF THAT ONE. THAT VAMP REPRODUCTION IS BASED ON CONVERTING INTO UNDEAD AND NOT PREGNANCY #what i think i keep coming back to is that a vampire is like. a form of pathogen or perhaps parasite #is the individual vampire meaningfully distinct from that? maybe #sort of a made up question #but that’s not a mammal #so neither is a vampire #but also like. a human is a mammal #this question sponsored by my friend who said she was done keeping mammals bc ‘they have so much fluid in them’ #and my thought that a vampire Wouldn’t #not a lot of fluids. happening there

[sadclowncentral]

I think if a fairy showed up at my house like yeah they are not real but there is narrative precedent for that. a fairy, if it existed, would show up at a house. i just need to suspend one disbelief everything else tracks. it's a big surprise, but a singular one. i would know how to get with the programm pretty quick.

if a walrus knocked at my door there would be many more fucking questions than one. a walrus showing up at my house? knowing that knocking is the required social etiquette? having reasons to knock on my door and somehow the ability to do that despite having no arms? said walrus coming to me of all people?? a walrus being real is the least of my concerns at that point why the fuck does it need my help what kind of problem can I solve that a socially aware and apparently findextrous walrus fucking can't

#i have a lot of thoughts about this.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[evercelle]

bust... or maybe i'll take it all!

#honkai star rail #aventurine #ever makes art #as you can see. i have now caught up to 2.1 #i got a LOT of thoughts but they can be best summed up as: ouurughashdjsdhhh

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[jeanivere]

arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say

#my art #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan rdr2 #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #man i have so many feelings about him #thinking a lot of thoughts #like that happy trail im currently staring at #no im not i gotta go guys bye

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[peachebo]

I remember I had a concept about alternative ending of sl where michael brings ennard home and jus lives very normal life with a killing machine...

also here's ennard with da cat

#yep they are besties in my head #also sibling coded not only bc elizabeth but ennard taking michael clothes to cover themselves when going outside #i am having thoughts about them like a lot #fnaf #michael afton #ennard #fnaf sister location #cat #2k... #3k..... #4k!!! #5k??!! #6k wha- #7k guys r u crazy... #8k #9k bro #10k happy new year!!