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#i hope I've conveyed his age well is all <3
fox-guardian · 5 months
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i just want to say that as a chubby transmasc person, it means the world to me that the progression of your tim design has given him a dad bod (same kinda bod that i have). it feels so good to see a transmasc that isnt the typical white twink (plus ur artstyle is gorgeous)
anyway HAPPY TIM STOKER TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad you likies him <3 dad bod tim is important to me as a slightly bigger person as well <3 i had seen a couple bigger tims and went "wait that's amazing. that's so real why aren't I doing that" and then i dids it <3 also THANKIES HAPPY TIM STOKER TUESDAY TO YOU AS WELL <3 <3
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wishmasterzz · 6 months
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even if he didn't get to hear it, I think he'd be alright in the end.
(long ramble under the cut)
so...I feel a little insecure posting this, because I worry that it doesn't convey what I was trying to very well? I've thought a lot about why he might still be upset about this though, and I wanna talk about it a little bit.
Because, all things considered with him being VERY alienated from his peers, I feel like it'd make sense if he just had abandonment and trust issues that he tied back to her in his mind. Of course, they were just kids at the time, so this moreso I'm thinking about what that could've meant to him. And either way, she did still use and exploit him.
this post by @/roboroses puts it into words perfectly, I think. I used that as well as these tags on this post by @/m0th-gh0st as points to sort of incorporate into my thoughts here, as they're both written better than anything I could say on the matter, considering it's an experience I wouldn't firsthand understand.
I've also just had the idea in mind that the demon hipster chicks have probably been big supports in his life for a long time, maybe he had stumbled upon how to summon them at a young age accidentally or something. Either way, I figure they understand him to an extent on the outcast thing, and do their best to be patient with him through his bad moments.
BUT I also kinda think that because of his obsessiveness with who he ties back to the root cause of his abandonment and trust issues, he might take that support and patience a bit for granted at first. I don't think he actually had feelings for Ramona or anything personally, but I do think he loved the idea of having someone there for him for once. Especially someone cool and admired like her, in his eyes.
I don't entirely know if I'm explaining my thoughts well, and I feel like I'm rambling too much, but I hope this makes enough sense for you to understand the initial thought behind this short comic I drew.
AND FOR REAL. READ THE POSTS I LINKED. THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. <3 <3 <3 they put all this into words perfectly, imo.
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bronx-bomber87 · 1 month
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Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.
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So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.
I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.
6x06 Secret and Lies.
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Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*
Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...
Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....
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Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.
Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.
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God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.
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Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.
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Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.
I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.
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Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.
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The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.
The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.
Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.
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Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.
He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.
This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.
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We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....
I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.
I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.
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Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...
Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.
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Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.
'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'
Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.
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Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*
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Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.
But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.
Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...
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So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.
Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.
Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.
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Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.
Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.
Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.
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This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.
It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.
I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.
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'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.
This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.
When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.
Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.
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The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.
That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.
I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.
~~~
Side notes non Chenford.
Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.
Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3
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arliedraws · 8 days
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Hi! Hope it's ok to drop in here. I've been thinking a lot about if Sirius had been able to take custody of Harry (let's just imagine he was able to prove Peter was Secret Keeper/killed those Muggles) in GoT, how would that have changed things for Harry?
I think he would be an extremely devoted guardian, he already threw himself into being there for Harry wholeheartedly in the text. However he has his own trauma and grief, and unresolved emotions.
I can see this taking a toll on him and maybe impacting their relationship. Both of them are extremely closed off emotionally, and I kind of wonder how they would interact when difficult subjects or situations come up, or disagreements. Well, I can imagine how they would react, but I guess I'm not sure how they would resolve conflict between themselves.
I like to think Sirius would eventually realize he needs to deal with anger/his feelings differently, and try to convey more to Harry how much he cares for him. Harry, I can see it taking a while for him to really understand he won't lose Sirius over conflicts.
What do you think? Sirius was my favorite adult character in the books, I'm still not over how he was killed off 😭.
Would love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
Omg this has been sitting in my drafts for a week! I meant to publish ages ago! Anyway…
More than okay! I live for these discussions! (Your local high school lit teacher here 😅…)
Sirius and Harry is something I have written about extensively but most of it is through the lens of OotP and how their fears make their relationship deteriorate (for the sake of saving each other).
I think your thoughts depend on a lot of factors because the situations that Sirius and Harry face change their dynamics dramatically. For example, if Sirius had not been trapped in Grimmauld Place, he would have been a much more supportive parental figure. If Voldemort had not come back, it all would have been very different too. One thing that would remain consistent, however, is Sirius’s tendency to hide his weaknesses. Very much like a wounded dog, he does not want to be seen when he is suffering—he takes to disappearing, “sulking” (not actually sulking), and drinking.
Okay, also, the way Harry interacts with the people closest to him is so interesting. With Ron and Hermione, he’s willing to yell at them and accuse them of shit (not having his back), while with Sirius, whom he loves most, he is unable to be completely honest. Could we interpret Harry’s tendency to berate his friends in OotP as him having a secure attachment? Or is he trying to push them away so they can’t reject him first? When we look at Harry and Sirius, however, is he too afraid of losing him to be completely honest with him?
Like I said, different situations bring out the best and worst in people (obviously), but I there would definitely be cycles of Sirius withdrawing and Harry perceiving his behavior as rejection. I explored a little of what this could look like in my fic “Scars.” However, if Sirius were to take custody of Harry, I believe Sirius, who is most certainly not living at Grimmauld Place, would eventually recognize the patterns of their behaviors to be like, “Hold up, we need to talk about this differently.”
Also, also, I love drama, so my hope would be that they would 1) Be so happy to have each other then 2) Get disillusioned 3) Yell at each other and finally, 4) Explore their traumas together and work through them, drawing them even closer :)
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icallhimjoey · 1 year
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To Have And To Scold
♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It's just that... you don't really get along all that well, do you? At least, that's what you think.
CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers (very vague, im sorry, but you'll see), slow burn, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader
Author’s note: here's part 3! it's looking like this story is going to be surpassing my usual 5 parts... so, um... i hope everyone gets invested enough to keep reading past that!
Wordcount: 4K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue
You couldn't stop thinking about it, and it was so dumb. But... you simply couldn't help it.
That framed picture somehow would find its way back into your thoughts every so often. It felt a little weird, but you also kept almost automatically rationalising it for yourself. You had photos with Mark all over; your social media pages were littered with photographs of the two of you throughout the years, and the comments accompanying them would probably make anyone feel the same way you did about that framed photograph in Joe's hallway.
So then, why did that framed photograph feel so weird to you?
Joe loved Poppy like you loved Mark, you knew that to be true. The only reason Poppy wasn't weird about your friendship with Mark was because of her friendship with Joe.
You all understood on a level not many other people did.
But still... you didn't know why, but, that photograph of the two of them felt... odd. Kind of raised your hackles a little. So, you asked Mark if he'd seen it when he was over at yours for snack night: a night of lots of snacks and dips as a substitute for dinner.
"So, I've got a question... remember when I went over to visit Joe two weeks ago?"
Mark snuck a baby carrot into his mouth that scooped up a dollop of hummus twice its size, and then immediately wanted to say something.
"Hmm," Mark hummed urgently, his face in a deep frown as he chewed.
It took ages for him to get it down, but you waited because going straight in to call Mark's fiance's friend weird might not have been the best way to go about this.
"Yea, what the fuck happened?" Mark asked, eyes big, but already aimed at another snack to grab from another bowl.
"What do you mean? Nothing happened,"
Mark looked at you all sarcastically as he chewed, as if to say, yea, all right, sure.
"What? We talked about your wedding, set dates for events, you know, figured some things out," you waved a hand around to convey the casuality, "But–"
You were about to ask Mark if he'd seen that framed photo of Joe and Poppy that he'd cropped the two of you out of, but Mark interjected before you could bring it up.
"No... something happened." Mark said matter-of-factly and then he paused and looked at you, ready to listen to what you had to say for yourself. But, you kept quiet too, because what the fuck was he on about? So, Mark continued, "Joe didn't speak to Poppy for like... five days? Four or five days after that, which is," Mark leant back and tilted his head back to shout his next words towards the ceiling, "a huuuuge deal!"
"Oh, well, that must've been unrelated to our meeting... we just talked about your wedding, he said I was nice, and–"
"Ah!"
Mark pointed a finger at you that he held right next to his face, one eye closed as he looked at you.
"That's it. He said you were nice,"
"I am nice," you argued.
"Yea, we tell Joe all the time... but he said you were nice?"
Opting to ignore the fact that you'd now heard from several sources that people were talking about you behind your back, you explained how you'd nearly walked out after Joe thought he was being smart that night. How you had said that you were a nice person, implying that Joe could just have been friendly and polite, and it would've been normal. And then you explained how, at the end of the night, Joe had struggled through telling you that he agreed and thought you were nice too. You mocked Joe to paint a vivid picture for Mark and exaggeratedly stuttered your way through the words Joe'd said.
Mark just ate and listened to you, and by the end shook his head a little at your impression, a dangerous smile playing his face.
"But have you seen that framed photograph he has in his hallway? Right by the front door?"
You finally got to the point you were trying to make.
"Of Pop?"
"The one we're cropped out of," you were hoping for Mark to be a little outraged, but he remained totally calm.
"Yea, Poppy has the same one, we've got it framed upstairs, on the landing," Mark said as he licked spilled mascarpone from his finger. "Smaller version, though,"
"We're cropped out of that,"
"Yea,"
"Mark... we're cropped out of that," you needed more of a reaction from him.
"Yes."
But you didn't get it. Mark didn't seem bothered at all. Like you'd said, Mark was made of trust and had just gone and proven it once more.
"He went and had a photo printed that he then had to cut two people out of... don't you think that's weird?"
"Why would it be weird?"
"I mean, I don't know... there are so many other pictures of the two of them, why did he choose a pic that he had to cut us out of,"
Mark shrugged, said, "It's a nice photo of them," and that was that. It was a nice photo of them. It just... it bothered you. You were unable to articulate why it did, exactly.
A phone buzzed on the table, and both of you looked to see if yours was the one that was ringing. It turned out to be Mark's.
Joe was calling.
"Speaking of," Mark said, answering and bringing the phone to his ear, "Joe!"
Mark listened, then rolled his eyes at you even though you had no idea what Joe was telling him.
"How drunk?"
You couldn't help but let a huffed laugh escape you. Poppy and Joe had gone to the pub, you knew. Context clues filled you in on the situation.
"Fucking hell," Mark said and kind of slumped into your sofa more as he listened to whatever Joe was telling him. "I mean, I'd give you advice, but you've been in this situation more than I have,"
Mark was going to have to leave, wasn't he?
He suddenly laughed loudly at something Joe said, head tipped back, mouth wide open, before muttering, "Shared responsibility," softly, indicating he was repeating Joe's words back to him.
"Yea, no. All right, that's fine... see you in a bit. Keep a close eye on her, though, will you?"
Mark said it with love so evident in his voice, it made you scrunch up your eyebrows. If someone else had been there, you'd have made eye-contact with them and would've probably audibly awed.
Mark laughed again at something Joe said, then shook his head as he looked at you, like you knew what the fuck was going on.
When Mark hung up, he turned to you and without any warning said, "Let's go, we're going to the pub."
When you walked in about twenty minutes later, the place was absolutely packed.
"Go grab four beers, I'll find them," Mark said, and you asked, "Four beers? Not three beers and, I don't know, a sprite for Pop?"
"Four beers," Mark said again, holding four fingers up for emphasis before he pushed himself in between a few people and disappeared into the crowd. Off to find Poppy and Joe.
You turned towards the bar and sighed at the fact that Joe and Poppy hadn't just gone to a normal pub, but somehow, one that seemed to exclusively house an after-work-drinks sort of crowd. Most people were dressed smartly, men in suits with top buttons undone and women in pencil skirts and high heels that crossed their legs at the ankles as they held drinks against forearms that were folded over their stomachs. You were in jeans and converse and definitely felt out of place, but the atmosphere was nice. You almost couldn't hear the music over the loud chatter and the belly laughs.
Just when you thought, okay so how am I going to get these four drinks over to my friends when I don't know where they are, all three of them popped up right beside you.
And Poppy was wasted.
"Babe," she slurred as she slung both her arms around your neck the minute she laid eyes on you; eyes that were barely open and kind of crossed over, mind you.
For someone semi-posh, Poppy got sloppy alarmingly quick when alcohol entered her system. She was like you in that way.
"I love you, you know that?" Poppy sprayed into your ear loudly, voice control out of the window, and it made you wince at Mark over her shoulder.
"I'm taking her home," Mark said and that's when you noticed that Joe was trying to get one of Poppy's arms into her coat. She was still attached to you, however, so it really wasn't working out for him.
"I really do," Poppy didn't pay Joe any mind and instead evaded his hands and grabbed you by the face as she pulled back from her hug. For a second you were scared she was going to plant a fat drunk kiss right onto your face.
"Not like Mark does obviously, but I do love you, you're amazing,"
You frowned through a smile, not sure where this was coming from. Had Joe and Poppy talked about the two of you like you and Mark had talked about the two of them? That didn't sound completely out of this world. Kind of made sense, actually.
"Okay, Poppy," your frown turned into scrunched up eyebrows, but your smile remained, unwavering.
"No, listen to me," Poppy got all serious, her hands still clasping your face. She tried to make stern eye-contact, but her eyes were dancing.
"Let's go Pop," Mark interrupted, but it was like he wasn't even there.
"You're so important,"
She was so, so drunk. You could smell the liquor on her breath.
"Thanks,"
"And nice,"
You shot eyes over to Joe who quickly looked down, folding Poppy's coat over his arm, giving up on trying to get Poppy to put it on. He passed it to Mark who leant in to say something closer to his ear that you didn't catch, but Joe laughed, mouthed, "Tequila," and then held up 6 fingers. Mark groaned.
"Poppy," you moved your hands to covers hers and softly pried them off of you. "Thank you. I love you too. But, look who's waiting," you pointed a small finger over her shoulder at Mark, and Poppy seemed very annoyed which only made you laugh.
"Let's go, babe," Mark took hold of Poppy's shoulders and you saw him work to hold her up as much as he was working to guide her towards the exit. Her feet were everywhere and nowhere, just like her the aim of her eyes.
"Good luck," Joe grinned at Mark who looked back over his shoulder.
The two of you made eye-contact, and within 2 seconds of just looking at each other, you'd said goodbye and promised to call each other tomorrow, all unspoken.
"Don't let those beers to go waste," Mark nodded towards the bar where the four beers you'd just paid for still stood, waiting to be drunk.
Oh.
Immediate panic washed over you.
Mark and Poppy were leaving, which meant now you and Joe had four beers to share and... you and Joe had four beers to share.
Mark could've been smug about it. Could've made a face at you to tease, but he hadn't. Had just quickly said to drink the drinks and then turned his full attention to his fiancé who was bumping and leaning into people left, right, and center.
"You got it," Joe wasn't going to let himself be told twice and slid two glasses slightly more towards you before grabbing the other two, one drink in each hand, double fisting. It looked like Joe had also had a few drinks already, which, of course he had. Poppy hadn't been doing tequila shots on her own, you assumed.
Suddenly, your evening with Mark of bitching about Joe from the comfortability of your own sofa in your own flat had turned into an evening in a posh pub with the actual dude himself. Alone. Just the two of you in a sea of suits, button-ups and pencil skirts. The prospect of it was awful.
Who would mind two wasted beers? No one really. Certainly not you, at least. Joe could have all four if he wanted. You were about to come with a dumb excuse, a polite one, to get out of there, but before you could, Joe cleared his throat.
"So," Joe said, and you couldn't believe what you were seeing. Joe was sort of turned to you, full body language engaged and ready for a chat.
A chat.
With you.
Like normal people.
Like friends.
"Who's going to be your plus one?" Joe asked and immediately busied his mouth as he took a slow sip of beer, peering at you over the glass.
You frowned a little at his question, and then more at the way he looked. All suited up, top buttons of his shirt undone, loafers – he looked like everyone else there, fit right in amongst the office crowd even though you knew very well Joe didn't have an office job. Joe didn't know how to do water-cooler-talk, didn't know how office gossip worked. Why these after-work drinks at the pub were such an important part of working in an office. You did, or had done, but still, Joe fit in with everyone else and it was very clear that you didn't.
It made you feel inferior but also a little rebellious at the same time.
You reached for a drink for yourself, deciding that you actually would mind wasting two beers that you'd paid for and you copied Joe, taking an even slower sip than he did, buying yourself time. If this was going to happen, if you were going to have drinks and be out with Joe, you weren't going to be the first one to back out. You had said you were going to at least try to be friendly, hadn't you? And it seemed like Joe was trying, so now you had to too.
"For the wedding," Joe clarified, like you didn't understand what he originally meant.
You took long to answer, smacked your lips and looked at your glass as you lowered it, saying, "I don't think we get plus ones, Joe,"
It was Joe's turn to frown.
"Of course we do,"
"Don't think so,"
You had the wedding invitation stuck under a magnet on your fridge. Saw it every day. Nowhere did it mention a plus one for you. You assumed later because you'd been asked to be Mark's best man. You'd have actual jobs to do. Bringing a date just to leave him stranded was weird, and so it made sense to you.
"Why wouldn't we?"
Joe hadn't had the same train of thought, it turned out.
"Does your wedding invitation have a plus one on? Because mine doesn't,"
Joe thought back, eyes darting around but not really looking at anything. "I don't... I don't remember word for word exactly what the invitation said–" Joe paused abruptly and looked at you, one corner of his mouth slightly upturned. "Well, I do, of course," He didn't, but he didn't need you to know that. "But surely..."
"I think they kind of want us to focus on the jobs we've been given," you said, feeling all smug that you got to tell Joe something he didn't know yet. One-upping Joe felt stupidly good. You were in jeans! In dirty old canvas trainers!
"Oh yea," Joe quipped, and you didn't like how casual that suddenly sounded.
"Like not forgetting the rings,"
And there it was. In a reflex, you lifted your middle finger up at him and immediately realised that Joe could absolutely take full offense. You weren't people who flipped each other off for fun. You said you were to at least try to be friendly, but nothing else had really changed since your meeting over at Joe's house. You weren't suddenly people who were comfortable around each other to be mean in ways you could be mean with Mark, knowing that the bickering was never damaging but more a fun way to get actual frustrations out.
But luckily, Joe gasped a small gasp through a wide smile. No offense taken.
"I thought you said you were nice," the face Joe made almost seemed flirty.
"And you agreed," you threw right back at him. "Even told Pop about it,"
Joe didn't argue, and so you knew you were right. Joe and Poppy had talked about you and Mark.
A pause followed where you weren't sure how to continue the conversation, and the feeling of wanting to abandon the evening all together crept back in. You'd had half a beer, had said some words to each other, so you knew it'd be all right for you to now go, well, I actually have to go get going. But then, something else crossed your mind.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Joe absolutely wasn't expecting the tone switch in you, suddenly sort of serious.
"Have you thought about your speech already?"
You'd briefly mentioned it the other night, your speeches. You'd said that you would just need to make sure that the vague idea of them wouldn't be insanely different from each other. If you were just going to do a a short quick little cute speech, Joe couldn't do an insanely long one that included a whole PowerPoint presentation, or something else insane, like a song. But, you'd very quickly come to the conclusion that neither of you wanted to speak into a microphone for very long.
You wanted your speech to be heartwrenchingly beautiful though. Mark was going to fucking wail at his wedding, you'd absolutely make sure of it.
"I have," Joe said, nodded slowly, and for a second you thought, how the fuck is this guy an actor?! He was obviously lying.
"Okay..." you phrased it like a question, and a short silence followed where you both narrowed your eyes at each other, not fully trusting what wasn't said aloud. Joe was confusing you and you didn't like it.
"But we really don't get plus ones?"
You knew Poppy would have laughed at the way he said it. You didn't. You just shrugged.
"Maybe Poppy doesn't want you to bring a date, just because,"
Oof. Wrong thing to say. Insinuating all kinds of things Joe didn't appreciate, you could see it in the sudden tension in his jaw. It hit almost below the belt. You kind of meant it, though. Had that blown up framed photo of them on your mind still.
"And perhaps Mark doesn't want you to bring one for the same reason,"
You learnt the hard way that dishing it out was far easier than taking it.
That stung, like it always did when people would assume you and Mark were dating, and wouldn't believe it when you said you weren't.
It stung almost extra because you'd just thrown someone a comment you hated getting yourself, and then got it right back like you deserved. The fact that it was from someone who'd probably gotten the comment loads too made you feel even worse about it.
Served you right.
If the air between you hadn't been awkward but maybe sort of pleasant for a second, you missed it.
Slow sips from wet beer glasses were had, and you cursed yourself for not being able to just call it a night already. You were committed to win this now, even though none of this was a contest. Nothing ever was, but you were just like that. Couldn't help wanting to win at everything, especially when it came to petty shit like this. There was no way you were going to leave this pub before Joe did.
It was all awkward comments, feigned naturalness and ease, and when you finished your second beer, you hated how Joe just went and ordered another two. He kept you there and you realised he was onto you. He fucking knew you weren’t going to say no, weren’t going to be the one to back out first. You were too much like Poppy in that way, you thought, and it felt a little vulnerable. Like Joe could read you, could really see right through you, just because he knew Poppy so well.
But with alcohol in your system, you started feeling invincible. Feelings like guilt and regret took a back seat, which was dangerous.
Made you order the next round, just out of sheer spite. And you'd barely eaten - just things like cucumber and carrots with hummus and tzatziki - and started to really feel the effects of it.
Made you smile at a stranger like you shared an inside joke when he bumped into Joe and made him spill some of his drink.
Made you ask stupid questions, like why Joe had a cropped photo of him and Poppy framed in his hallway.
"I don't know if you've fully understood the situation, but I can explain it in simpler words, if you'd like?"
Patronising. Joe spoke to you like you were an idiot.
"I am friends with Poppy, and have been friends with her for a looong time. We're family, and sometimes it's nice to have photographs of family up on your walls. Some people think so, at least,"
So very patronising, it was honestly insulting. He was also missing the point. Didn't understand what you meant. He probably wouldn't, even if you explained it, you thought, so you left it alone.
"It's okay if you don't get it," Joe looked down his glass before adding, "if you don't have that same sort of bond with Mark, I don't expect you to understand," and taking a sip.
Too far.
You were getting too intoxicated to just... take shit like this.
"Oh you wouldn't fucking know what friendship was if it stared you right in the face," you challenged.
For a second tonight had been about proving to each other that your friendship with you best friends didn't cross any inappropriate boundaries. Now, however, it was suddenly all about proving to Joe that your friendship with Mark outweighed his friendship with Poppy.
Joe had no fucking idea how bonded you and Mark were.
How you'd gone through absolutely shit in your teens, and how Mark had managed to haul you through, pulling you out at the other end with a lot less scars than you'd imagined beforehand.
How you'd spent years not thinking you'd live past your teens, battered and bruised from trusting people you were told time and time again you could trust. Had to trust. But should've never trusted. How Mark was the one who'd held out a friendly hand and had proven to you time and time again that men sometimes didn't want all the things you weren't ready to give. Weren't willing to hand over.
How Mark had fixed parts of you which you'd redeemed unfixable until he'd gotten all up in there.
How Mark was solely responsible for your strong belief in the power of kindness. The power of true friendship. The platonic soulmates type of shit.
Joe had no fucking idea. And so you told him again, "You wouldn't even fucking recognise it,"
Joe was about to fight you on it, but he felt something had shifted. Saw something in your expression, in your eyes, that made him swallow his words whole.
Joe saw something that made him believe you on your word. Maybe his friendship with Poppy was a small tiny thing in comparison.
"I'm sorry," Joe's features softened immediately upon the sight of you, and it was all kinds of wrong.
Somehow everything felt unfair all of the sudden.
You needed to leave.
Needed to be polite and thank Joe for the lovely evening all sarcastically and leave without a good excuse to do so. Just, get out.
Away from Joe who didn't understand. Who made fun. Who judged. And who was he to fucking talk?
When you hurridly turned, intending to run, Joe gently reached and touched your upper arm. Strong fingers, but somehow a soft touch.
"I need to leave," you said, and without saying anything else, Joe let you go and let you walk out.
No questions asked.
No goodbye from either of you.
The Taglisted: 
@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @thefemininemystiquee @alana4610 @emmamooney @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @mybffjoe @chaoticgood-munson @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @breddiemunson @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland @pepperstories @phyllosilicate-s @thebellenouvelle @luvrsbian @joesquinns @choke-me-joey @alizztor @jnnyrd @did-it-work @capricornrisingsstuff @quinnsbower @frogers @kennedy-brooke @daleyeahson @eddielives1986 @harringtonfan4 @sadbitchfangirl
(taglist currently full, sorry)
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firstyok · 1 year
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- Moonlight Chicken End Notes -
So, I've just finished Moonlight Chicken, and it was a deep, mature bl series, where it conveyed a lot of realistic life messages. It was new and refreshing to witness such a bl storyline, which speaks for real people.
Below, I've addressed a few of the best things that I've enjoyed about this show.
1. JimWen Chemistry
It was my first exposure to an EarthMix series, so I was definitely excited. The chemistry of the actors was magnetic, and it didn't take a moment to give me butterflies. Wen is super seductive, and I enjoyed it. In the first episode, when they both hooked up, I was like, "Oh wow.. that's.. sexyy", I kept thinking these stuff. So, definitely I loved their chemistry very much in this show.
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2. GeminiFourth Acting
Once again, it was my first time watching the acting of GemFourth. I haven't watched MSP, so - MLC is my first exposure. My God, I was in love with their storyline, acting and everything as a whole. I truly loved Fourth's acting range, he is a great actor for such a young age. The way he portrayed such a mature, sharp tongued minor in the story, it was really heart-melting as well as sweet. His slow friendship with heart, was the best part of the show, I'd say. Gemini did a splendid job, portraying the character of a deaf child.
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They both had such a lovely rapport, chemistry - I kept looking for their moments in MLC the entire time. For me, these two held the greatest importance to me in the show. The beginning of their meeting with a conflict, that slowly led to understanding both of them, which further led to friendship and young love. The progress in their story was beautiful to witness. I felt so happy to see some specific moments of them, such as Heart's face lighting up when figured that the paper was slid under the door by Li Ming, or the moment when Li Ming first heard Heart speak.
3. The Character of Alan
Eventhough the story presented him in a negative light at first - personally I could vastly relate to Alan. Personally, I'd say he's someone with the most depth and complications. He shared a 5 years long relationship with Wen, which is never an easy thing to let go off. I deeply empathize with Alan, not because he was dumped by Wen, but because his story speaks realistically. It is devastating to be out of love, when the other person still wants to be with you. Eventhough their relationship was not tampered due to Jim's entry, it will still make Alan doubt whether it is something that he lacked, and Jim didn't. It is normal to have these thoughts, because I've been there in his shoes too.
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Eventhough he reacted violently with Wen and Jim at the diner, I believe it was valid to acknowledge how frustrated and insecure he had been, when he is losing the love of his life to someone else, in front of his eyes. It's a hard pill to swallow. Later on, I'm relieved how Alan moved on from their relationship after Wen decided to have a clear cut conversation about them during their last barbeque meal. It was necessary, because if he didn't give Alan the closure he needed, he wouldn't have been able to move on, just like all these prior months. Alan is a great character, he is flawed, and speaks life. He didn't use his injuries to hold Wen back, instead he insisted on being left alone, because he knew the hope has subsided. I think that's a wonderful character implication.
5. Gaipa is a Positive Embodiment
If Alan showed the dark side of handling emotions, Gaipa portrayed true well-intent and kindness throughout the series. I really enjoyed Gaipa's character in the series. He was like a ray of sunshine that needed to be added in such a mature heavy series. His role was like a breath of fresh air, whenever he appeared, he either made me feel better, or simply broke my heart - when he got rejected by Jim or when he lost his mother. But I really loved how he handled himself calmly upfront others, eventhough he was tearing apart inside.
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His relationship with his mother was also iconic, definitely one of the best moments of the series. It shows how loving and understanding a mother-son relationship should be. It filled my heart with happiness when his mom was completely okay with him being gay, and how she encouraged him to find a lover. Losing such a great mother in his life, has to be the most heartbreaking experience ever, and this show portrayed it so deeply.
6. The Satisfying Ending
The ending of Moonlight Chicken has to be the most satisfying one, eventhough I'd have loved to see Alan and Gaipa officially ending up together. But, I really enjoyed their initial blooming stage of liking each other, it seemed so sweet and refreshing at the end of the show. When Heart and Li Ming were dining together, along with Leng and Praew in the scene too, it seemed like all the lovey dovey couples are finally enjoying their moments with their partners. I loved that scene, and Wen was helping out Jim as usual.
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We even got a sneak peak of how maturely Alan handled the situation when he was with Gaipa and Wen gave him water - the smile on his face spoke as if - he deeply appreciated what Wen and Alan once had, but now he has Gaipa, and he has finally moved on from him, to focus entirely on his new budding love. That scene was really symbolic and my eyes teared up at the collective happiness of the show couples.
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I've really enjoyed the show, everyone's acting, performance, along with the cinematography was stunning and praiseworthy. Additionally, the cast was a dream team, including EarthMix, FirstKhao, and GeminiFourth. These three couples smoothly pulled off the entire show with their elegance and hardwork! Kudos to the director, and everyone else involved in the production of the series!
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not-poignant · 11 months
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There's been lots of Temsen talk around here, so I thought I'd drop by and tell you how grateful I am for TND and Temsen in particular. (TW scars) I have scarring on both sides of my torso. It's not raised or painful, but it's very obviously there because of the colour difference with the rest of my skin. It looks like spots and mottles. In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know? And after the backstory, I still did. It made me realise that someone else may find my spots beautiful too (although, I realise I'm not an underground skin touch wowie creature, so it's different, lol). What I'm trying to say is that that part of TND but also just TND as a whole has helped me work through and accept so many parts of myself. Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :). If I were a better artist, I'd draw something for you from TND, and if I were a better writer, I'd write. I'm really trying to convey how much TND means to me, and I don't think I can properly. I wish I could make you a 7 course meal, because I am a decent cook! If I didn't love you before (I did), I certainly do now, for having created this wonderful story and blessing us with it. I hope you continue to do things you enjoy and take breaks and eat good food!! Love <3
Hi anon! Tbh a 7 course meal sounds nice, I've only eaten mandarins today, because I've been in too much pain/fatigue to manage like...meals. So I'm always very amazed / in awe when other people have the energy to make things like sandwiches.
In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know?
Tbh, anon, all of the mottles except for very few which look very specific (and have only been described once), are all not scars, but very beautiful, shining parts of the vench's bodies. I mean, Augus also perceives the scars from the rotting sickness that Wirth explains as beautiful (it is a white, shining scar that's very noticeable), but every other time vench mottles are mentioned, they're just a part of the vench's normal skin, in the same way that frogs also have very pretty blotches/mixed colourations. Mottles are clan specific (scars aren't), in terms of their colours (in fact hair, eye, and mottle colour are all clan specific in The Nascent Diplomat).
So envisioning vench as beautiful creatures who have naturally occurring mottles (that aren't scars - the scars only affected one generation of vench and they are the vast minority, the only one we've met so far is Wirth) is what was intended re: the story.
That being said, I really love your interpretation of things as well. I've written stories in the past where characters have quite serious scars, and their love interest has always seen them as beautiful or as neutral, as having merit or as signifying how strong the person with the scars was, or generally as being significant in some way. Stories like Into Shadows We Fall, The Golden Age that Never Was, The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle, Stuck on the Puzzle, even moments in The Spoils of the Spoiled, Falling Falling Stars, and it will be present in stories like Mallory & Mount as well. It's definitely something I've spent time on as a concept, even if it's not something I did for more than about five seconds in The Nascent Diplomat!
In that sense, I definitely think you will meet someone who either finds your scars beautiful, or alternatively, just a neutral, normal part of you. I have over 3 metres of surgical scars on my body, anon, and that doesn't include the scars I have for other reasons (stretch marks for example). Some of those scars are in very obvious places, some aren't, but there's very few parts of my body you can look at without seeing at least some.
Meanwhile my partners both have freckles absolutely everywhere (though they're fading now, as they get older), and I think that's amazing and really cool, and I love those freckles, and I don't understand how anyone could mock someone for it, because that just doesn't compute to me.
No body is perfect, and any body that is, will not be perfect for long, we all have an expiry date, we all attain scars and wrinkles and blotches and freckles and warts and hormonal discolourations (I have two dark patches on my cheeks from being on the combined Pill for such a long time - my Mum always covered hers with foundation, I don't cover mine at all, it doesn't seem like there's much of a point when I have a 20cm scar on my neck anyway.
Learning to at least be neutral with our bodies, is an admirable and I would say even necessary goal. Learning to be positive or loving our bodies is amazing for the folks who can get there!
Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :).
Of course!!!
I apologise for not having put down the kind of profound meaning that you picked up from the story, but I still really support and love that interpretation, especially since I've written versions of it across so many narratives in the past, and will continue to in the future. Your interpretation makes the narrative a lot more powerful, and that you turned it into something that you could use to help transform your feelings towards yourself and your scars and your body is an absolute credit to you. I think you're amazing :) <333
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boysplanetrecaps · 1 year
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The top 28's comments on their fancams, translated
Hi team!
As we wait for Episode 11 to be fully available and translated and whatnot, here is a bit of content for you. 
Each trainee posted a comment on their fancam. I translated the comments with google translate, so I apologize for any inaccuracies or confusing phrasing (there is a lot of that). My Korean is extremely limited and at least Google translate gives us the gist! I’ve also chosen ten of the fancams to link to, based on nearly random choice, so don’t read too much into it. 
It's all after the read more.
Note: When it says “SK”, I think from context they mean “Star Creator” not “South Korea” (it’s a transliteration thing that it’s a K not a C)
I'm also listing how many views each fan cam has, as of the time of posting.
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1. Sung Hanbin   340k views
🔔 Ding Ding Ding 🔔 I'll call attendance!
As expected.. All-in-one everyone.. Everyone came without missing a single person💯
Thanks for always anticipating and waiting for me
I feel like I gain new strength every time I prepare for a mission🙈
Because I think that we are together every moment, that feeling has reached me well :)
I think this 3rd mission is the most special mission in my steps.
The reason is‼ You can share your daily life more closely with star creators.
It's because the first sound source with my voice comes out🐱🐹
Just imagining it makes my heart flutter and my heart races🤤
If you look closely at the lyrics of <Say My Name>
You can better feel what we want to convey to our star creators💌
Jiwoong hyung, Matthew, Seungeonie, Yujinie, and me, Hanbinie, please show a lot of interest and make sure!! Please do a lot of covers too haha
I will think a lot and work hard so that I can be with you in the future ☘
💘Be sure to listen to <Say My Name> and cheer up on your way to and from school💘
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2. Zhang Hao  443k views
Hello, this is Zhang Hao!
Thanks for voting for me to sing Over Me!
The song is so good that I get goosebumps every time I hear it.
Actually, I had never done a sexy concept before coming to Boys Planet...
It was so amazing that I really found Zhang Hao here, and I was very happy too hahaha
It was hard to make a good stage with my teammates in such a short period of time, but it's fun and I'm happy!! Over me😘 over me❤over me😍
You guys have already come to my heart
What I want to convey through the Over Me stage is that if you have determination and confidence, everything you do will have good results!! Let's fight together!!!😝 (Yes!)
I hope you listen to it with anticipation for the first new song that contains my voice and passion.
Lastly, please enjoy Zhang Hao's Over Me fancam!!
Also, please show a lot of interest in our overdose team members' fancams!! Thank you 🥳🥳🥳
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3. Han Yu Jin  238k views
Hellooooooooo star creators!!
I am Han Yujin, who has returned to the real real water clothes I mentioned before🍑🍑
Among the lyrics of <Say My Name>, there is a line that says ‘I want to do something appropriate for my age’.
In the meantime, I only showed strong performances to the star creators,
These are the lyrics I wrote myself with the meaning of 'Actually, I'm back with a refreshing and cute concept that I've never done before' haha
Since this contest song is our new song, not a cover song, I was more greedy, so I prepared a lot!!!
As much as I was in charge of the killing part, I prepared hard to show you a lot of pretty images.
Star creators, please love our <Say My Name> a lot 😍😍💗💗
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4. Seok Matthew 366k views
Pomegranate 🦊 Star Creators💖!!! I missed you so much😭��
While doing Boyz Planet, this mission was the most fun!
The reason was that it was so amazing to hear individual voices while recording with our team members,
The new dance (penguin dance) in the <Say My Name> choreography is so cute.
I hope the star creators do a cover dance for the penguin dance in the future! (I can't wait to see what you do)🐧🤧
I was able to create such good memories thanks to the support and love of the star creators🌠
And thanks to the star creators, I got a chance to stand on stage again!
While preparing for the stage, I thought a lot about what I wanted to achieve the most.
As much as we prepared the stage happily, I hope that many people will feel good enough to fly away after seeing our new song.
Also, I hope you will see the <Say My Name> stage and laugh a lot and be happy!
So, if I did well (but I don't know if I did really well), when you're reading this comment, I hope the star creators hahahahaha!
Star creators, take care of your health, love yourself a lot (of course I love star creators), and eat a lot of delicious food!
Pomegranate🦊Star Creator💖 You are incomparably more precious 🍄
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5. Kim Ji Woong 249k views
Hello Star Creators~❤❤❤
My name is Kim Ji-woong, who will be your butterfly💛
I challenged a refreshing and cute concept for the first time while doing a mission in Boyz Planet! Ho haha
I had a lot of trouble at first but😭💕
Thanks to Matthew, Hanbin, Yujin, and Seungeon, my personality has gotten brighter hahahaha :)
Now I'm enjoying the song <Say My Name>🐥
Our star creators also give a lot of love to <Say My Name>
Our Yujinie, Matthew, Hanbin, Seungeon and
The cutie hahaha please look at Jiwoongie prettily and love him a lot hehehe💙
I'm still not cuter than Yujin hyung, but I'm working hard
Yujin hyung-chan ❤❤ I will learn a lot
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6. Kim Gyu Vin  160k
[9회/직캠] #김규빈 #KIMGYUVIN ♬En Garde (준비,시작!) @아티스트 배틀
Hello Star Creator!!!😺
First of all, thank you so much for allowing me to perform on stage with an En Guard song that I really wanted to do this time!🤡
It's not the cover stage we've always shown!🤖
🧋This time, we have our stage full of our voices and ideas with our songs!!!
Maybe that's why I hope you can watch our stage 🌜🌛 and let us know how it is in the comments hehehe💂‍♀
As this is my first new song in my life❤‍🔥 I hope Star Creator will look even prettier hahaha
En Guard's main rapper, the lyrics for this contest! I tried it with Gunwook 🙊I practiced more expressively!👾
Please watch more 🌚 and listen to more music, and we will continue to show you the ever-improving Gyuvin🧟‍♀!👊
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7. Kim Tae Rae 162k views 
Hello, I'm Taerae Taerae Kim, a cute and lovable dog from Star Creators!😎
This contest contains my new challenge!
I prepared a stage where the performance could stand out a little more!
It was a valuable time to prepare while sweating hard and learn a lot! 😅
It's lacking a lot, but please look at it nicely
Star creators who always give me the strength to prepare happily
Please continue to be by my side! ❤❤
I will continue to sing and dance for you too! 😍
Always thank you and love you!
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8. Keita  212k views  
Hello Itai Tayo Keita~~ This is my name🤓
While preparing for this stage, I met good members and good songs and performed on the stage.
It was so much fun and I hope the Star Creators can feel the way we enjoy it✨⚡✨⚡
Thank you so much for letting me put on a happy stage every time and please vote for me today as well.
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9. Park Gunwook 210k views 
Hello SK guys, I'm Gunwook!!!
First of all, I am so happy and grateful that I can do the enguard song that I wanted to do.
While preparing this song, it was personally very difficult to say that it was Gun-wook's ordeal.
I thought a lot because I wanted to show a new side of myself, tried my hand at vocals, and felt a lot of pressure as a top nine and a killing part.
Still, it was a valuable time for me to challenge my limits, bump into, and grow.
I was assimilated into the passion of the team members and practiced really hard together, and I burned my will to work hard even for the rest of the members who unfortunately passed away🔥
The difficulty of the song itself is too difficult, and the concept and atmosphere are too difficult.
In the next mission, I will come back with a better and more mature image. Until then, please continue to love me!! I'm a man who always reciprocates hahaha
I ask for a lot of love for my Enguard fancam. I love you❤‍🔥
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10. Kum Jun Hyeon 108k views 
This is Kum Jun-hyun who transformed into the strongest prince in the universe.
I was really looking forward to being able to play Enguard... … Aaaaaaaaaaa!
I prepared hard while thinking of the people I couldn't be with unfortunately.
Actually, I haven't done much until late to death like this, but Hotaek hyung
I really worked harder because I and the other team members were burning their passion so hotly that it was about 5723 degrees 🔥🔥
I did it right before sunrise ,,,,, With this mission, Kum Jun-hyun was able to develop further.
Seriously, this fancam could be the last, the strongest cutie in the universe
I'll explode your heart, so please watch it a lot
Owner,,,, Please join me,,,, Alabyung ~😘
lol❤
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11. Lee Hoe-taek (Hui) 99k views
Hello Star Creators!!
It's Hoetaek!!🐔
Finally, we can show you the stage of the 3rd mission “Artist Battle”.
From the first time I heard the song Angad, I thought, “This is the song,” and from the moment 10 of us were together❤ to now🔥
From stage ideas to choreography and lyrics, there is no part that our hands have not touched.
It seems to be a stage prepared after thinking really hard!!
As much as all the team members ran with one mind for the perfect stage🏃🏻
Star creators, please enjoy watching!!
Because it is a stage filled with our sincerity and our story of challenging every moment and bumping into each other.
I would be very, very grateful if you watch me sing🎤 with sincerity!!!
Star Creators, I love you so much
(then he writes “I love you” in English, Japanese, and Chinese as well)
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12. Jay  228k views
Korean message, translated: 
Hello Star Creators and J Stars!!! 🌟 How are you~
You already know that I really, really, really really want to do the song ‘Over Me’ for this artist battle!! I was so proud and excited because I was able to do Over Me.😁
First of all, thank you so much to Star Creators for choosing Over Me for me, and thanks to Star Creators, I'm also grateful that I can sing such a great song!! 🙏
And it was really fun to be able to enjoy this stage with good teammates this time. 💕
Over Me is the first time I've tried my dark and sexy concept, so please understand and I hope you like it ㅠㅠ
I will work hard so that I can show you a good stage and a cool image next time! promise promise! 🤙
This was his message that was already in English:
Hey Star Creators and Jaystars~ Hope everybody's been having an excellent first quarter of 2023! 🗓 
First of all, I wanted to say thank you to everyone for voting me into this wonderful song~ 
It's a pleasure and an honor that you chose me to be a part of this memorable process and I hope I was able to sing it well enough! 
This was my first time trying a dark and sexy concept so I hope I did okay... This time the choreography was on the difficult side for me and singing live was as well. 😅 
Anyway, thank you for supporting me this far and I will make sure to work even harder to show you guys even better stages in the future. 💛 Love you guys, never forget! 💛 INOUIO ❤
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13. Park Hanbin  116k views
Hello Star Creators!
This stage is a bit more you guys💦 Surprising!!
Cute and lively!! 🔆 I'm back in shape!!
I'm so sorry that SKs spend their valuable time watching my fancams, and I'm always grateful.
Thank you for always showing interest in me and I'm so happy every day because you like my lacking side 🎶
Now it's the last stage before the finals, and I think it'll be another stage that I'm very satisfied with, including the 1st and 2nd mission stages!!✨
It's too bad that I couldn't come back with a better look because I didn't have enough practice time🌻
Still, please support my dancing and singing a lot in the future and watch my progress!!!
I love you so much, thank you so much, and thank you for making me unforgettable moments in my life.
Until now, it was Wake One Park Hanbin!!😛
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14. Ricky  253k views 
Korean message, translated: 
Thank you so much for watching my fancam!
And thank you so much to Star Creator who made it possible for me to stand on stage with the song I wanted!
It really wasn't hard no matter how many times I listened to the song Over Me while practicing, and I was so excited to show it to Star Creator!
And the sound source came out, I hope you listen to this song every night😉
There are still many concepts Ricky can do, so please support me a lot until the end!
English message: 
Thank you for voting me into this amazing song, when I first heard of "over me'' I knew that I need to do it, thank you for giving me this chance, because of you guys I got the opportunity to do my favorite dark and sexy concept and rnb song. 
From practicing, preparing the stage, to recording this song, I enjoyed every moment. 
Although this is a hard song to perform live, overdose teammates helped each other to overcome the problems, we will be coming back😉.
Hope this beautiful song can be with you every night, and hope you always be over me.
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15.  Yoon Jong Woo   97k views
Hello Star Creators!!
This 3rd stage...I prepared really hard🔥🔥
While preparing in a shorter time than other teams
To the star creators so that they can somehow get on stage
We prepared really hard with the goal of only showing our cool side.
At first, I lost a lot of confidence and was upset.
Looking at my friends who are working hard next to me, I also resolute myself
I tried my best to avoid damaging the team as much as possible.
Our switch that was completed like that 🕹 How do you like it?
Even though we lacked a lot, we did our best, so we have no regrets😤
I practiced a lot for the last gateway to the final, and with a more relaxed and satisfied appearance
I wanted to finish it but...😭
Still, thank you so much for allowing me to experience a lot while preparing for the 3rd stage🥰
So that I can go to the finals and reap the beauty of the end
Please vote a lot...👏🏻🙏🏻
I love you sincerely❤❤
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16. Haruto  112k views 
(Haruto put a message in Japanese, Korean, English, and Chinese, because OF COURSE he did)
Message 1: Korean 
Hello, this is Haruto
It was a leader who lacked a lot, but I am so grateful that the members believed in me and followed me.
There were a lot of adversities and hardships, but I'm so glad that I was able to overcome them and successfully finish the stage, and I'm proud of how hard I prepared.
I hope you continue to support our members and me!
Thank you for always supporting and trusting me
I want to continue to work harder and meet you guys on the final stage❤‍🔥❤‍🔥❤‍🔥❤‍🔥❤‍🔥
I love you Star Creators❤❤❤💖💖💖
Message 2: Japanese
Every time I did a mission, I thought, ``I've never been pushed like this before,'' but this time, too, I managed to break the record.
As a killing part, I feel that I had a lot of hardships because I had a great sense of responsibility as a leader.
However, I had a lot of regrets about the second mission, and I was determined to push myself to death this time, so for some reason I felt that it was painful.
And I am grateful to have been blessed with such wonderful members.
Thanks to the gals, I was able to laugh all the time even when I was having a hard time, and I am grateful that they took care of the maknaes together. The maknae did their best even when they were half asleep! Thanks dear~
And I appreciate Hiroshi Ouji* more than anyone else. (*That’s the translation but it must be Wang Zihao from context -- I don’t know why it says this, it’s probably an inside joke.)
He was the only one who came to SUPERCHARGER on his own will, but when he was kicked out of Over Me and when I asked him why he chose SUPERCHARGER, I fell in love with him when he said "for you". As expected, I thought that my husband really loved it.
It was very reassuring just to have Hiroshi on the team, and he's a beautiful human being who keeps wiping my tears with a tissue when I cry almost every day.
I love you Hiroko💘💘💘💘💘
I would be happy if you could continue to support me as well as the members of Superchajaa. I will always be grateful to all the star creators. I love it. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Message 3: English
Honestly preparing Supercharger was not easy at all.
But thinking about star creators and not wanting to disappointing you guys gave me so much power.
I'm always grateful for star creators, who are the reason for my existence.(sounds weird but true i don't know how to word it differently)
I am just SO GLAD we finished successfully and I am  SUPER relieved we're all satisfied with our stage. The crowd screaming "SUPERCHARGER" in unison was absolutely LEGENDARY and INCREDIBLE 😎😎😎😎😎
Also, I'm very grateful to have been able to he in such a great team. 
Our teams unnies helped me so much babysitting the maknaes when i was tired parenting , and they always gave us a good laugh when we needed one. And our maknaes worked so hard for our perforamance so plaese check their fancams too !😋😋
And lastly special thanks to my husband Zihao for always being there for me when i needed someone to hug.
For always wiping my tears with a kleenex everyday. Since he was the only one who actually willed to come to Supercharger, one day out of curiosity i asked him why he chose to come to supercharger. You know, when he said he made that choice 
FOR ME..........................😢😢😢
I knew i chose the right person to marry. 🥰🥰🥰 Lol
He is such a pure and warmhearted hyung, one of the best hyungs.
Thank you so much hyung, love you.
Anyways!!! 
Thank you star creators once again for coming to watch and please keep on supporting our Supercharger team!!
I hope i can see you guys at the finale.
I promise ill work my butt off more until it dissapears. 🍑
Message 4: Chinese
Thank you, Starcreator
Hope you enjoy our stage!
Then. . . . .
Zihao brother I love you❤
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17. Yoo Seung Eon 98k
 Hello Star Creator!
🐰 Cool 🍧 Cool 🍃 Visual memo that came back with <Say My Name>‼ 🎤 This is Yoo Seung-eon!!🐣
Thinking that this is the last stage🕺 I prepared really, really hard!!!🔥🔥🔥
And now, while recording with the intention of letting you hear our song, not a cover song,
Even while preparing, I thought of star creators so much hehehe❤💜💓❣
It's been a dream since I was a trainee to stand on stage with my own song😽
Thanks to Star Creator, I was able to stand on the stage of this 3rd Mission‼
💓Thank you so much 🥺
I feel like I'm one step closer to my dream... ? That's why I worked even harder!!!
💪 My bright~ high ✨🤩 cool~ energy ⚡
I hope it was delivered well🐥
And lastly, the star creator who watches my fancam🌟 Thank you so much‼
Thank you so much for gifting me with my first soundtrack‼🙏
To all the star creators who like me, thank you so so so much‼‼
I love you too
And lastly, our Hanbin hyung❤Matthew hyung💜Jiwoongie hyung💓Yujin 💘 who made such a wonderful stage together
Thank you so much and you worked hard TTTTTT I love you my team!!!!!
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18. Seo Won 56k views
hello! 🌟 Star creators~! 💋Seowon from sexy boy to 👊 hip hop boy!☝~!!
Although we unfortunately couldn’t perform the precious say my name stage chosen by the star creators😭
I thought it was an opportunity to show Seowon, a hip-hop boy, and I prepared really hard for a short time of almost 3 days.
(I didn't even imagine that I would do a super charger.....😥 hahahaha)
Our members really went through a lot of mental and physical trouble, but they overcame it well and performed well on stage 🤗
We're lacking a lot, but we did our best, so please give a lot of love and interest to our super charger stage~💌
Also, please give us one precious vote from the few remaining star creators.
Star creators who always send lots of love! Thank you so much 😉
Have a happy and beautiful day with Woniee ~~♡♡♡♡🥰😍😘❤‍🔥
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19. Wang Zi Hao 487k views
Message 1: Korean
Hello Star Creators!🍭🍭🍭
We met again👋🥳
First everyone! Thank you so much for your support and voting.
Today I showed you the concept of hip hop hao 🔥🤟💥 I hope you like it 😆😆
Please give a lot of support to our team members who completed this stage together.
Thank you❤❤❤
Message 2: Chinese
Star creators 🤩! Let's meet again~ First of all, thank you for your support, you have worked very hard to vote for me! 😬
What everyone 3 saw today is HipHop Hao^I hope you will like it, and also support the teammates who completed the "Super Charger" stage together! Thank you for your support~🤗🤗🤗
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20. Na Kamden 57k views 
Message 1: Korean 
Hello Star Creators~ This time, I am Pink Boy Kamden who came back with a cute cutie.
Are you all doing well?
I was so excited and happy to challenge a new concept this time🥰
Does this cute concept suit you well?
While preparing for the Switch stage this time, I practiced aegyo while looking in the mirror by myself.
Please find a point of cuteness on stage💘
I hope the star creators liked it😋
Message 2: English
Hello Star Creators!How are you guys doing☺ 
For this ‘switch’ stage, I came back with cute concept and I tried full pink outfit this time🧸 
Does my outfit look good on me? 
I hope it made you guys happy🍪 
Thank you guys always for supporting me and love you guys so much💓
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21. Lee Seung Hwan 79k views 
yes! Hello, this is Seunghwan Lee!🙋🏻
Showing the performance of En Guarde, the 5th song matched by the star creators, reflects the desire to receive a good song and do well.
Since it was a song that matched me with a look I wanted to see, I think I prepared it with the mindset that I should do well at the same time!!
Also, this member is really... 🙃 I think I prepared harder because I'm such an elite member😂
How many ideas meetings are there? I am really looking forward to and very excited to prepare and show a better stage by putting our heads together, researching, practicing, and repeating to show you a better stage after worrying a lot!! (I stayed up all night… heh)
Since it's a new song, we prepared a lot, so it would be nice if all the star creators could enjoy watching and listening to it!!
(1st place stage, 1st place sound source Gazza!!😚)
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22 Chen Kuan Jui    173k views
🌟 Hello creators~
I am Shining Bling Bling✨ Cheon-gwan “Louis”.
I came back with a new look this time with the new artist battle song “Over me“.👏
As soon as I heard this song, I kept feeling that I had to do it unconditionally, and I never got tired of it no matter how many times I listened to it, so I was so happy when I practiced.
The third mission is very important to me, so I practiced really hard because I wanted to catch the concept well, so thank you for watching the fancam.🥰
While researching the meaning of the lyrics of the song Over Me, I kept thinking, “Can I really do well?”, but as I gradually found a feeling in the music and choreography, my confidence increased.
I hope the star creators are very good to me.
And whenever I perform on “Boys Planet,” I always think of it as the last stage and I want to show you what I have prepared.
In the future, I will continue to challenge different concepts and appear as a new “Louis” in front of star creators.
Please give lots of love and vote. Thank you!!!💛🧡💛
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23. Zhang Shuai Bo 42k views 
Message 1: Korean
Thank you for clicking my fancam and watching this video.
This song is the one you chose for me.
I put a lot of effort into preparing for this stage.
And thank you so much to the team members who helped me with my dancing and pronunciation.
Also, thank you for letting me stay and complete this stage.
Thanks to everyone.
Wherever you are, I hope you are all healthy and happy every day! Fighting!
Message 2: Chinese
Thank you very much for clicking on my direct shot (fancam)
Watch this video, the song you chose for me,
I put a lot of effort into preparing this song,
I'm also grateful to my teammates for helping me dance and pronounce,
Thank you very much for allowing me to stay and complete this stage, thank you, thank you everyone,
No matter where you are, I hope you are all in good health.
Be happy every day! Jiayo! (like a Chinese version of “fighting”)
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24. Lee Jeong Hyeon 138k views 
Hello ✨Star Creators✨!😊
Lee Jung-hyun is back with the new artist battle song, Over Me!
As soon as I first heard Over Me, I thought I had to do this song.
Thanks to the star creators who voted for me to do Over Me, the time from practice to preparing for the stage was so happy and fun☺
So I just wanted to say thank you so much
To be honest, I was really taken aback at first because I chose the song without knowing it had no rap, but thinking about it again, I've never shown my vocals to you on stage.
So, I prepared this stage with the idea that it would be a great opportunity to show a new side of me!
As much as you let me do the song I wanted, I really ran harder than ever to repay you with a great stage🔥🔥🔥
I am so happy to be able to show you the stage with a new song with the most confident and suitable concept.
Please give lots of interest and love to the new vocalist Lee Jung-hyun!!
(+) Don't forget to vote for Lee Jung-hyun💚💚💚
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25. Takuto 46k views 
hello. Thank you for coming to see my fancam.
This time, we performed our song <SuperCharger>.
This song is addictive in the chorus!
Please listen to <SuperCharger>, which you will never forget once you hear it!
I'm still lacking a lot, but thank you to the star creator who supported me a lot!
I will continue to work hard and show you a better image!
I love you❤ See you again!!
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26. Cha Woong Ki 52k views 
Hello Star Creator ✨ 💕
Receiving lots of love from all of you, the 3rd mission
From the artist battle to the 'Super Charger' stage
This is trainee Cha Woong-gi who greeted me once again 🥺
First of all, thank you so much for giving me one more chance 💘
I don't want to disappoint you
To the star creators who like and support me
To make people think, ‘Oh, I did a good job picking Cha Woong-gi’
It's a short time, but I prepared really hard!! ⚡
In Boyz Planet, a new look that was hidden tightly
I also challenged the main rapper to show you 🎤
I didn't know it would be me either ☠🎀🌈🌷🔨🧸🦩
But I hope you like it 🤑
There are many cool images to show you in the future!!
If you pick me up so that I can stand on the next stage too
Good luck in everything in the future,
You will work less and earn more, etc. 😍
Please vote for Cha Woong-gi on Mnet Plus!!
Please Police 🚓🚨🚔🚨👮‍♂❤
The Boyz ,Stray Kids, NCT, TXT, Enhypen, Seventeen, BTS, EXO, SHINee, Monsta X, BTOB, ATEEZ, Astro, Infinite, Super Junior, Shinhwa, Treasure, GOT7, 2PM, NU'EST, Golden Child, VIXX, SF9, Highlight, TVXQ, BAEI73, Victon, TNX, Block B, B1A4, ONF, CIX, Sechs Kies, Teen Top, DKZ, Mirae, Drippin, Up10tion, MCND, EPEX, AB6IX, Berry Berry, Tempest, B.A.P, Ghost Nine, Kingdom, Cravity, And even if you're not here, I really respect the cool seniors 😍 (The order doesn't matter)
I'm Doebi, Stay Czennies Moa Engine Carat Ami Eri Shawl Monbebe Melody ATINY Aroha Insuk Elf Shinhwa Creation Teume Agase Hottest Love Goldness Starlight Fantasy Light Cassiopeia Els Alice Thanks BBC Vana Fuse Fix Yellow Kiss Angel Club Now Dreaming Honeyten Gem This is Zenith Avenue Better Eye Baby Gosty Kingmaker Luvity (Really) 🧸❤
(In this last paragraph, he’s saying that he’s a fan of various groups, the same groups he listed above in the same order-- for example, a “Stay” is a fan of Stray Kids, a “Carat” is a fan of Seventeen, a “Monbebe” is a fan of MonstaX, etc.)
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27. Ollie 29k views 
Hi everyone, I'm Ollie🍫🍩🍪.
Thank you for watching my fancam 📸. I fractured my knuckle🦴 at the Planet Field Day event, so the practice was a bit difficult this time😣.
Still, I wanted to show you a good performance, so I worked hard as always! ⛄
This song had a lot of difficult choreography, but the team members helped me a lot💙💛💙💛💙💛.
To be honest, while preparing for this stage, I thought that this was the last time, but I think that the star creators gave me a third chance like this, thankfully! 💖
And we prepared really hard for this stage, so you should watch it a million times!😜
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28. Hiroto 152k views
First message: Japanese 
Hello Star Creators!
Did you enjoy watching our cool stage? ? 🔥
I put in a lot of effort to show everyone a different image than before! 💓
In this team, I was the only one in the g group, so I did my best not to cause trouble for everyone!
Last time I was ranked 28th, so there were times when I was mentally tough, but I think I was able to do a stage that I won't regret even if it's the final stage! 😎
I will do my best to raise my rank and reach the end, so please continue to give me a lot of support! 😘
Second message: Korean 
Hello Star Creator!
Did you enjoy watching our cool stage?
We worked hard to show you a different side of ourselves.🤓
In this team, I was the only one in G group, so I worked hard so that the other team members would not be harmed.😊
There were times when it was mentally difficult because I ranked 28th the other day, but I will raise my ranking so that I will not regret it even if it is the last stage, and I will work hard so that I can reach the end, so please support me a lot in the future!😎
I love you.😍
Trainees listed in order of fancam views:
Wang Zi Hao 487k views
Zhang Hao  443k views
Seok Matthew 366k views
Sung Hanbin   340k views
Ricky  253k views 
Kim Ji Woong 249k views
Han Yu Jin  238k views
Jay  228k views
Keita  212k views  
Park Gunwook 210k views
Chen Kuan Jui  173k views
Kim Tae Rae 162k views 
Kim Gyu Vin  160k
Hiroto 152k views
Lee Jeong Hyeon 138k views 
Park Hanbin  116k  views
Haruto  112k views 
Kum Jun Hyeon 108k views 
Lee Hoe-taek (Hui) 99k views
Yoo Seung Eon 98k views
Yoon Jong Woo   97k views
Lee Seung Hwan 79k views 
Na Kamden 57k views 
Seo Won 56k views
Cha Woong Ki 52k views 
Takuto 46k views 
Zhang Shuai Bo 42k views 
Ollie 29k views 
Ok, that’s it! See you guys in the next one. 
I know that the eliminations will hurt this time, but remember, these trainees have good futures ahead of them regardless of whether they make it into Bepler or not, so don’t be too sad, ok? 
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ugh-yoongi · 2 years
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hi! hello! i’ve just read fall apart & redefine and my goddd. i loved it so much! it’s so beautifully written and introspective. i never wanted it to end. what made it hit was the fact that it’s canon compliant...
i’ll never explicitly know what joonie, or any of the other boys have to go through. though, the feelings of fear, grief, and hope are universal. you’ve conveyed that so well here. i just want to hug the boys and tell them that it’s okay. but in many ways aren’t we, as fans, an enabler of that pain? it’s complex. sorry, i’m rambling now. when i find gems like these it reminds me why i love to read.
when it comes to writing i think this is a prime example of quality over quantity. no matter how long it took you to write this, the product is immaculate and speaks volume.
i hope you’ve found a way out of your slump and if not, that you’re on your way there. sending love 🤍
— sana ♡︎
ah, hello! thank you so much for your message *sob emoji* this is so lovely. pls don't apologize for rambling because i'm about to do the same. :')
fully agree with your second paragraph. one of the things that struck me most about the festa dinner was namjoon saying some sort of variation of "i'm almost 30 and i have no idea who i am." like, how do you even start figuring out who you are as a person outside of your job and your celebrity at that point? where do you start? their entire lives, as bts, have been so controlled.
it's fun to have the little delulu moments every now and then, but i usually steer clear of canon compliant because, if i'm being realistic, almost every idol is probably not emotionally-equipped to be a great partner. they didn't have the ability to date around, fuck up, learn, fuck up some more, etc., that most people get. it doesn't make them any less worthy of having that experience, but i imagine it's a lot of self-sabotage because they're so controlled and can't have normal experiences. so... what do you do with that, ya know?
i thought about this a lot when hobi had his release party/joon went to switzerland/tae went to paris. like i would imagine some/most of them do have partners and they just... can't attend or do any of these things with them. at least in an "official partner" capacity but most likely not at all. a member of bts looks at you for 0.5 seconds too long and the entire internet has you doxxed in under a minute. so, what, i just gotta sit around in my bougie penthouse and watch it on instagram? that's gotta be brutal. it sounds awful for both sides.
and the enabling. god. it's really a double-edged sword, because you love these groups and they bring you so much happiness and joy, but rationality often gets dogpiled. not to mention that fans dictate their lives just as much, i.e. that tattoo artist jk was seeing, when bobby from ikon had to "apologize" for having a girlfriend and having a baby even though both are perfectly normal things, etc. even if you, specifically, are not engaging or going on a twt rampage about them, your fandom is sort of just... lumped in with it. and that sucks!
i'm 30 years old. i've dated and gotten married and am well beyond the age where i have any delusions about men PERIOD but especially celebrity/idol men. i want them to just be happy and live normal lives! i want them to have the experiences i've had! i don't care if they're dating or getting fucked and sucked on the regular, but the catch-22 of k-pop is that they're selling you the delusion and it's sometimes hard to fault people, especially those who are younger and therefore more susceptible to it, for falling for it.
yikes. anyway :')
thank you again for your kind message. i really appreciate that you took the time to share your thoughts. i am crossing my fingers that i'm out of my slump bc i have a collab fic due for seokjin's birthday. nothing like the unbearable weight of peer pressure to make me productive.......
sending you love in return! <3
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swear2g-d · 1 year
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hi, i promise i’m not dead or have forgotten any of our words and the love i feel when u interact with me, how have u been my love ? i can only hope the time has been kind to you and all the cats are alright. i’ve been fairly well i’d say, a few too many boulders has flattened me like in the cartoons but i’m alive well,, are y mad at me ? does my name only bring bitterness to you? i hope not, i hope this ask finds u well and conveys my warm hug that i intend to wrap u in. good day love, i love you beloved . 💛💛💛💛
meg, my darling, it's been ages!!! hello!!! i've missed you terribly :( i am happy to report that the cats are doing well, although they're a little bitter about not being allowed to lay out on the porch anymore since it's too cold and, unfortunately, i have the flu so being out there would not be good for any of us. i'm sorry to hear about the boulders, i hope they weren't too harsh on you :( i could never be mad at you, beloved. when i think of you, every thought is full of all the warmth and comfort you would find in a nice cup of tea. years could pass and that feeling would never change, do you hear me? i love you dearly, and i hope the remainder of this year brings you all the love and joy and warmth that you could ever need. you're in my heart always <3 MWAH! i love you 💞💞💞💞
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crowned-ladybug · 2 years
Note
1, 6 (ik you do but I'm very curious on the process), 9, and 21 for the writers asks! ♡
As typical it's taking me ages to actually get to these I'm sorry!!!! Thank you for the ask tho anyway <3
1) Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?
With all the characters over the years this is a tough one to pick out but proooobably Benrey still. He's got very fun internal monologue in my hands and you can fuck around a Lot writing him, and that does in fact also make him Easy. He's always come pretty naturally to me which explains a thing or two about my HLVRAI fics i'd say sbhdcbhdcbs
(Recent honorable mention to Sam bc he's also been proving surprisingly fun and then Dima destroyed me by saying his POV is the closest to how i talk on discord out of all the characters they've read me write so far)
6) Do you outline your fics? If so, how?
I start with the notepad app and trying to do a relatively basic lineup of just what scenes are gonna happen, so that I can have the pacing and order of things down. I hardly ever go in with a full lineup of scenes/plot already laid out in my brain, so this is where the fic is first actually born
This works half the time, giving me about a sentence for a whole scene, and then other times i end up outlining an entire scene on the spot
Then comes copying the thing over into an actual document that isn't fuckin exhausting to look at and thus the second pass of rounding out the scenes I haven't accidentally outlined well enough already
My outlines have been getting more detailed lately, so here's to believing in ghosts in specific had a Lot of bits near the end where i was just copying notes over almost word for word bc i had entire paragraphs laid out already. Other times stuff gets left at "and then they talk about [topic]" level of detail until i get to it and have to suffer
A lot of fleshing out also happens on the fly while I'm writing a completely different scene or not writing at all and then have to tab back over to the outline and add like two sentences that i cannot allow myself to forget
It's hard to pick a good example without drowning this post but this was the outline for the first scene of poison in the ashes, for comparison's sake
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(I very rarely use any dialogue tags at all when outlining unless they're Significant already. I either just know who's talking anyway or if there could be any doubt, I use a chat format instead)
9) Do you visualize scenes in your head before you write them? (Can you picture the setting, character body language etc)
YES
I am a Very visual person so a Lot of the times I'm trying to put entire movie scenes onto paper and even when that's not so painfully the case, I always have the visual counterpart in my brain. Things are always pictured. Hanging onto very Very specific line deliveries which i cannot convey in text is what's less often tho, and thus sadder to forever only be in my brain, unable to hand to anyone
(I've gotten compliments on specific scenes feeling movie-like before and every time it's such huge thing to hear, that the image not only got onto the paper but also into someone else's head)
21) Writers choice - pick any of these questions that you want to answer.
14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on?
There's always stuff and hardly any confirmation one way or another, however very specific example from recently: the way the first collapse scene in poison in the ashes is arranged was very much a callback to the concussion scene in and what comes tomorrow that I never expected to be picked up on and then Dima screamed at me about it so much :D
Also from poison in the ashes: when in one scene they talk about bad tea, and Rafe tells Sam to just tell him to make some next time, and then the next day Rafe is in fact the one making the tea while Sam loiters. Very on purpose. Of all the things Sam has to fill Rafe in on every morning he's decided to include the tea
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yo-aloe-vera · 2 years
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I noticed that you get quite a few comments from Sakura fans who are unhappy with the way you portray her. I think you're closer to her canon character than any of their fanworks though. I really think Sakura coerced or manipulated Sasuke into giving her a child somehow. We know she can be mean and manipulative, as seen by every one of her confessions (including the fake one to Naruto). The way she tried to kill Sasuke was also cowardly and manipulative. Naruto had just told her that he wasnt giving up on Sasuke even though the promise he made to her no longer stood, but she still wanted to kill him. She really doesnt see Sasuke as a person, she couldnt even try to understand. In Chapter 3 she tried to get Sasuke's attention by talking shit about Naruto, but he defended Naruto. She even tried to "steal" his first kiss and thought about him peeing in front of her so that she could see his dick.  She always jumped on him no matter how many times he made it clear that he didnt like it. And SS was deliberately written to be a bad and dysfunctional 'couple' in Gaiden. I think Sakura can actually be called abusive when she frightens Sarada into shutting up, shouts at her for asking valid questions about her weird 'relationship' with Sasuke and destroys her house. She's still insecure over other women and possessive of Sasuke in her 30s. She specifically covered Karin's face with her own picture to fool her daughter and she spoke badly about Ino to Sarada, so Sarada stops Ino from getting close to Sasuke. Sasuke was actually extremely unhappy to see her after all those years. He shouted "why exactly are you here!?" with a frown. He basically said he and Sakura are only connected because of Sarada and he was reluctant to say even that. He only called her his wife in front of Sarada and then Sarada has a flashback to that moment when she thinks about what kind of relationship they have. Naruto's not even her friend anymore, he knew nothing about her life, thought Karin could actually be Sarada's mom and that was the first personal conversation he had with Sarada. What does it say about them that Kishi made sure to let us know that Sasuke never even kissed her and he rejected her before he left. He looked miserable in his family photo and family dinner. It can't be a coincidence, Kishi could have drawn a happier expression if he wanted to convey a happy family. In your story Sasuke neglects Sarada because of her connection to Sakura and I think that might actually be true in canon as well
I think these are good points.
I can forgive some of Sakura’s distasteful behavior pre-Shippuden because of her age. But she had no development at all. The way she and Sasuke are in Boruto, at least as far as I can see, is just... no. That is a toxic dynamic. It is hella gross, and the way both of them treat Sarada is reprehensible (which of course is a huge and important part of the plot of SEA).
The forehead poke, so beloved of sasa stans, is deliberately a way to keep her at a distance--just as Itachi always used it with Sasuke.
The disdain sasa fans have for any kind of anti-sakura heterodoxy is also just weird to me. There are many characterizations of my fav characters that irk me in fanfic. So I don't read them? And I don't understand intentionally reading things that make you unhappy?
I've been fairly kind to Sakura in my stories until this one. I wanted this particular fic to draw on the toxic traits of all the characters, though, and her character as it developed after Shippuden ended was extremely toxic.
So I am perplexed and, honestly, somewhat entertained by the animus sasa fans have for the story. Like, OK, boo, we get it, you are mad. Noted. Oh, you're still mad. Mmkay, dumpling, hope you feel better soon lol.
Then some of them decide to take on the worst traits of their idol and go all out crazy on SNS writers like it's holy war and they're cleansing the world of evil. By being incredibly snide, by harassing writers, and just all around making poor decisions because someone writing a fanfic they did not pay to read failed to give them what they wanted.
All that to say, thank you, I agree with you. Sorry for the tangent on your comment, you unleashed the beast 😆
Thank you for reading, and also thank you for discussing your viewpoints.
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spookyserenades · 1 year
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Hii <3 hope you are well! So... I've read Trouvaille, and I'm in love! 😭 I can't describe in words how much I liked this story, I wish I could convey everything in words. Its plot is VERY interesting, I read the synopsis and I was like "Hm, I've never seen anything like this, how fascinating" and when I read the chapters I really enjoyed it and was VERY interested in the story.
I was wondering how you managed to come up with a combination of ideas like ??? Ok, I've read several Hybrid fanfics, but combining supernatural and horror?? PERFECT! Everything I needed in my life and didn't know. And the vibe of this fanfic is ??? AAAAAAAAA IT'S VERY GOOD, I can already imagine the scenarios and everything is very good to read! I imagine the house as the one from the Ozark's series (even if the location of the series is not at all old, but I imagine Trouvaille a lot like that, the filter, the scenography, and I think it matches the story a lot. Well, at least when I imagine the story be like that).
I'm also IN LOVE with how you made the characters, all the hybrids being predators and the personality of each one I LOVE SO MUCH, I'm SO curious about them, I want to know EVERYTHINGGG!! It's amazing how UNIQUE each thing in the story is, and that makes it even better! Because I hadn't seen anything like it yet, it's so original and so beautiful 😭 For example, jungkook ??? instead of a shy and sweet personality, it's COMPLETELY the opposite, and I LOVED it, "rebellious" and a little "arrogant" perfectly matching his appearance, I don't know, I imagine that very well. As if it matches his age since he's the youngest (although jungkook is already past 15 with the rebellious phase LOL)
And taehyung is soo 🥺🤏 same with what the boys said about him LOL, SORRY, I CAN'T HAND IT IS SO CUTE! He reminded me a lot of Ice Bear from "We Bare Bears" 😭💓
And when the character had that nightmare, I thought it might be namjoon 👀 and when you posted the third chapter and you had the description of his eyes, I was like hmmm 👀 but anyway, I don't have many theories about that, because I bet you will tell us surprise with these things! Then I'm ready!
And about those "electric shocks" that the character feels when she touches Seokjin (or someone else, I don't remember very well) it made me think "are they Companions? 👀 or soulmates" but as it only happened with Jin, I was very excited doubt. We still don't know much, so it's hard to make theories. I can't wait for them to come around and we discover so much more!
When I think that the update is only on the 7th and 20th, I feel so sad 😔 LOL, but when you write these huge chapters, I get really excited because I know the wait is worth it! 💓💓💓
(I hope it wasn't too difficult to understand what I said, English is not my first language so I'm afraid of getting confused LOL)
HIIII darling, oh my goodness!! I'm doing very well, and I hope you are too! I just want to say, thank you so SO much for sending me such a beautiful message, you've brought such a smile to my face <3 I'm so happy you find the plot to be fascinating so far, I really wanted to have multiple layers in this fic to keep the reader on their toes!
Inspirations for this story are numerous! I've loved hybrid fics for a long time, and always wanted to write one of my own. I've drawn inspiration from many of my favorite forms of media, whether it be music, film, literature, or TV shows. The largest sources of inspirations come from the music of Deftones, films Constantine (2005 Francis Lawrence) Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009 Wes Anderson), books such as The Exorcist, Wuthering Heights, and Water for Elephants, and most of all, TV shows Twin Peaks, The X-Files, Yellowstone, and Ghost Adventures (LOL). I take some of my favorite bits of these shows and sort of weave them all together to create a plot, even if one thing doesn't seem to go with another. I think now, after having written this story for so long, all these inspirations seem to complement each other in different ways :) I'm planning on releasing a whole post about Trouvaille inspirations, including an in-depth look at how certain characters from my favorite forms of media influenced the hybrids in Trouvaille. I adore horror movies and all things spooky, and so I couldn't help myself by including some darker themes into Trouvaille!
My parents LOVE Ozark, I've never seen it myself, but after your mentioning of it, I looked up the house you were referring to. The vibe is VERY much like the setting I imagined for the Trouvaille house! It takes place in a town outside of Boston, Massachusetts, so it is a heavily wooded and misty sort of area. The house itself is an old Victorian mansion of sorts, but the outside areas of the home, including all of the densely grouped trees, are VERY much like that Ozark home.
I'm so happy you're loving Jungkook's character so far. He has definitely been one of my favorite hybrids to write about! Jungkook in real life definitely has those timid, sweet characteristics, but I totally see a bit of bad boy arrogance in him that I wanted to exaggerate in this story. You're right, it goes well with the fact that he's the youngest, perhaps having something to prove since he is the only hybrid who isn't a predator~
Taehyung is really a sweet little bear in this!! Ice Bear is a such a fantastic comparison, especially with Taehyung's stoicism and quiet nature. So cute <3
You're the second reader to theorize that Y/N's nightmares may be connected to Namjoon! You're totally right, the descriptions of both the eyes of the creature in her nightmare and Namjoon's are pretty similar. It's super interesting that you've both made this connection! I hope you'll tell me if you gather more clues from future updates :)
Seokjin is one of my babies in this story, I'd protect him with my life XD I love the concept of soulmates SO much! Its fun to write an OT7 story, because you have to come up with several ways to demonstrate different types of attraction to each member. Y/N definitely feels an electrical pull to Seokjin, but I wonder why... ;)
I'm so happy that you've shown so much love to each update of Trouvaille so far, and that you've sent me such a wonderful message in response. Reading all of your comments and theories have made my day!! I hope I was able to give you some more exciting insights to the story! April 7th will be here before you know it, with another hefty update :) I'd love to hear your thoughts surrounding Chapter Four when it drops!
By the way, your English is wonderful-- don't apologize, I could understand perfectly and you are so very kind and lovely! Thank you again for reading, enjoying, and taking the time to send in your beautiful response. Until we speak next time, I wish you nothing but happy days! <3
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warabidakihime · 2 years
Text
Breaking Barriers And Shattering Glass Ceilings
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characters: Actor!Eren Jaeger x Actress!Reader
plot summary: After keeping them buried for years, Eren Jaeger, your co-star in the hit anime series Attack on Titan, finally acts on his feelings for you.
content warnings : nsfw, eren is yandere-ish in this, toxic relationships, cheating, i guess you can consider this dark content and with that being said, this can be psychologically triggering for some so read with caution. MINORS DNI!
author’s note; okay, so this happened lol. i was scrolling through tiktok when i came across those actor!snk fanarts and then this fic came to mind. i honestly don't know how frequently i'll be able to update this or whether i'll be able to continue, but we'll see! i hope you'll stay around and read it!
as always, your comments are highly appreciated! <3
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"How do you feel as the series comes to a close?"
"It's difficult to put into words, but I guess we can boil it down to feeling bittersweet that Shingeki No Kyojin is finally coming to an end after so many years of working on it; I'm happy that we've come so far, but also sad that we're literally three months away from its grand finale; well, for the viewers, they still have a few months, but for me and my co-actors, we only have a few weeks shooting days left before we say goodbye to one another."
Dozens of reporters and media outlets listened intently as Eren conveyed his genuine sentiments about SNK's closing stages as a program and as his work because the show has literally been his home for nine years.
Not to mention that the program was where he got his start as an actor.
And as you all watch him talk so confidently, a wave of nostalgia washes over you, as if your very first press conference, when Shingeki No Kyojin was originally announced to the public, was only yesterday, and Eren was fumbling every now and then when it was his turn to speak.
As soon as the nostalgia faded, it was replaced with a surge of pride.
Every one of you is happy about his development as an actor, but also about the man he's become in those nine years.
When the same reporter turned to you, you instantly turned on your microphone.
"How about you, L/N-san? What are your feelings, and as one of the actors who were personally handpicked six months before the program was revealed, do you believe you were able to meet Isayama-sensei's expectations?"
You took a few moments to gather your thoughts before smiling and responding to his question.
"I actually share Eren's sentiments. I'm happy because we were able to reach this far, and over the years, we've grown so close to one another that I believe it'll be really sad when we finally part ways. We practically grew up together, so it's safe to say we've known each other our whole lives. For starters, before the actual shooting began, we all went through basic military and stunt training for the ODM gear, so if we add up all the years we spent together, it's been more than 10 years. It honestly seems like I'm graduating from high school all over again,"
"I could've sworn that me and Mikasa were still in our mid 20s, but now we're in our early 30s. Meanwhile, Eren was still in his early 20s, but he just turned 30 a few weeks ago," Jean remarked.
"Hey, don't bring up our age!" Levi said from his seat, making the audience and the rest of the cast laugh.
"Yeah, that's supposed to be taboo, you dumbass," Zeke added.
"Don't worry about them; they've both just turned 40, so you know, they're getting a little antsy," you joked, laughing in your seat.
They’re not really 40.
Like you, Levi had just turned 34 while Zeke had just turned 32 this year.
"We aren't!"
You continued answering the question when you had calmed down after your good friend's little interjection.
"Hmm... Where was I? Ah, so yeah, when I was told that I'd be playing as Mikasa, I was definitely thrilled and flattered that Isayama-sensei personally sought me out to play her, and to be honest, I've been meaning to portray someone like her and act in an action-packed series for a long time, and of course, I am a fan of Shingeki No Kyojin myself. But I will never deny the strain and stress I was subjected to over the course of those nine years. Before season one began, there was even a time when I considered giving up the role and handing it over to someone else, believing that I wasn't ready and that the burden would be too tremendous for me to bear. I was just five years into my career at that time, and the fact that I'd had such a successful run so far as an actor made me feel even more anxious and afraid than confident. And for the last five years, I've only worked with veteran actors, but this time I'm one of them, so there's added pressure to set a good example for my juniors. Whether some of us were hand picked by Isayama-sensei or not, we went into this with the mindset of a rookie. Since Shingeki No Kyojin is loved globally, it's evident that hundreds of thousands of people will be monitoring us, whether we're seasoned actors or not. Mediocrity is not an option for us."
"You did a really nice job, though," Eren said, his eyes filled with honesty.
"Thank you, Eren," you said, smiling at his remark.
When the reporter heard his statement, he said, "Can you tell me more about your experience working with L/N-san?"
"As someone who's new to the whole showbiz and acting thing, I couldn't ask for a better role model. Y/N-san has been nothing but kind and helpful to me and to my fellow co-actors. When she stated that she felt enormous pressure to lead us greenhorns while still being relatively new to the industry, she feared she would do a horrible job—I beg to differ, because she's done an incredible job. I can totally see why people hailed her as one of Japan's most prized jewels," Eren smiled brightly.
To be frank, if this wasn't a press conference, he might have said more.
He wanted to shout to the world how brilliant you are, how lovely you are even when you're covered in mud during filming, and how much you made his heart skip a beat every time you looked at him with those gorgeous eyes of yours.
Eren couldn't really remember when he fell in love with you, but he was swept away by your stunning looks when he first saw you at the script reading.
You were already gorgeous on his laptop screen when he watched your prior work, but you seemed like a total goddess in person.
It took him a bit to adjust to you, though, because you were, after all, his senpai.
You debuted five years before him, so he can't just stroll up to you and act friendly with you.
However, after season two, he eventually came out of his shell and became more interactive with you and the rest of the group.
Eren has always been a bashful kid at heart.
"Oh, Y/N is blushing." Reiner teased you as he noticed your rosy cheeks.
The others noticed and started teasing you, making the entire atmosphere even more joyful, a complete contrast to the series, and it was truly a pleasure for everyone to see you all smiling and laughing.
You were all so good at portraying your characters that the emotions emitted from each episode passed through the screens and into people's hearts. It's almost as if the characters you portrayed entirely erased your true identity.
"What Eren stated was correct though," Levi added as all of the media turned to him, "so as her senpai, I sincerely praise her performance as an actress and as our colleague, and it's even safe to claim that the show's success was due to her."
"You know, that's not true; it was a team effort," you said, your ears turning crimson.
"They say it was Erwin's ball of steel," Miche added, making everyone burst out laughing.
"When I read that tweet, I choked on my vodka," Erwin said, chuckling, then continued, "To be honest, I wish I could retweet that a thousand times."
"Miche enjoys staring at other people's dick; he's truly the perfect actor for his character. You know how we used to live together in dorms? "After training, we'd take a dip in the hot spring to relax, but this fucker wouldn't stop staring at our dicks and yelling about how much longer and girthier his were than ours." Levi remarked, which elicited more laughter from the audience.
"What? I'm just happy to know that everyone's well endowed."
"Phrasing, Miche-san," Moblit grumbled.
The press conference continued in this manner.
The cast was sincere in answering each question, while the others would throw in a few jokes here and there, making everyone laugh their asses off.
After a few more press inquiries, the event came to a close, and you were all back in the dressing room chilling.
You were in the same room as Eren, Armin, Annie, and Reiner for today's event. Following that, you have a commercial shoot scheduled. It's a miracle you're still alive considering you only got two hours of sleep the night before, but you've gotten accustomed to it.
That's just a celebrity's life.
"Miche and Levi were so hilarious earlier; it's been a long time since I laughed that hard," Armin commented as he sipped his cup noodles. He, like you, has another commitment after the press conference, so he's just having a quick lunch before heading off.
Most of your co-stars had already left, since they either had other commitments to attend to or just wanted to rest before taping resumes the next day.
You've arrived at the last season of the series, and everyone is both eager and nervous.
And to match Mikasa's look in the manga, you'll be cutting your hair shorter before heading to the studio tomorrow.
"It's like they're five-year-olds trapped in the bodies of forty-year-old men, huh, baby?" Annie giggled, sitting close to Armin and toying with his freshly cut hair, to which he leaned towards her and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.
He snickered, "I lost it when Moblit called them out."
"Right?!"
You stared at them with a warm smile on your face, clearly happy for the couple.
Much to the joy of your fans, Annie and Armin went from on-screen loveteams to real-life couples.
They recently revealed to the public that they were dating after being photographed leaving Armin's penthouse. They were obviously upset that their relationship had been revealed in the press, but what's done is done, and they had no choice but to come clean.
Nobody issued a negative reaction because everyone believed that after spending nearly a decade together, it's just a matter of time before one of you develops feelings for the other.
Heck, you even lived together in dormitories for a year while undergoing military and ODM Gear training.
And now that Armin and Annie are in a relationship, a few of your admirers are hoping you and Eren will follow suit. The same with Ymir and Historia.
They actually ship you with a handful of your co-stars.
The most popular candidate was obviously Eren, who was followed by Jean, Levi, and even Zeke.
Despite the fact that your characters are distant relatives, many people ship you and Levi because they enjoy your off-screen interactions.
He's 15 years your senior, but you're both the same age; Levi's simply been in the industry since he was five. The studio is a mess when you two are together because you love messing with your co-actors.
One time, you squeezed a decent amount of wasabi into Jean's sandwich, making the poor guy scream bloody murder because he can't eat spicy food.
For obvious reasons, they ship you with Jean, and then they ship you with Zeke because he was your previous leading man in your earlier works.
He's also your first kiss and your closest friend in the industry.
Who doesn't enjoy a good best friend to lover trope, right?
"Remember when they scared us in our dorm room at night? I almost broke Levi's nose when he did a jump scare on me."
"He could as well deserve it," Armin remarked, adding, "They also scared me and Bertholt once while you were out training."
"He's the polar opposite of the Captain, isn't he?" Eren said.
You chuckled. "You could say that again," you said, "hey, you did great today."
"Yeah, I was blown away by your responses. Before, you were darting your eyes at us because you were too nervous to answer the press, but now you're so good at it. Good job." Armin replied, making the kid next to you flush.
"Thank you, senpai," Eren responded politely.
"Do you still have a schedule after this?" you questioned as you began to fix your things, because your manager had just texted you that your driver was only five minutes away from the studio.
"No, I'll be heading home after this; I'm just resting because the press conference wore me out," Eren said, shaking his head.
"Make the most of your day off then, because tomorrow's another busy day for all of us," you chuckled, giving him a sisterly pat on the head.
"Will do." Eren said, chuckling sheepishly.
For a while, Eren was delighted when you paid attention to him, but as time passed and as his feelings for you grew stronger, he began to dislike how you constantly treated him as if he were a sibling rather than someone you would, you know, date or, for lack of a better term, fuck.
Of course, he's partly at fault because he hasn't made any effort to express his sentiments. He's too shy to say anything to you, and he's also committed to maintaining your strong chemistry since the series isn't over yet. The last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize everybody's hard work.
Not to mention, he's also in a pretty delicate situation.
Even with Shingeki No Kyojin's success, he's still a relative newcomer with much to prove, whereas you're already well-known internationally and have a lengthy record of accomplishments and honors.
Who is he to go after someone like that?
And, more importantly, do you like younger men?
You expressly stated in one of your interviews that you prefer older men, so that alone is proof that he doesn't have a chance.
But that stupid Porco had to catch him looking at you with heart eyes during the shoot, and the guy happens to be too clever for his own good.
During their five-minute break, he told him:
"Why don't you give it a shot?"
So here he is, debating whether to take his advice or simply keep his mouth shut forever and watch you get stolen by another guy.
Stupid Pock.
"Now that you mention it, I have to wake up at 3 a.m. because they'll be putting the hair extensions in, and I'm exhausted just thinking about it."
"I think we're in the same boat; my call time is also at 3 a.m. since they need to cut my hair shorter," you stated as you stood up to leave.
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, I'll be filming till late tonight, so I won't be able to have my hair cut at a salon."
So, at 3 a.m. tomorrow, it'll just be you and him?
Eren was supposed to say something else when you heard your driver's horn honking from outside.
"Alright, I'll be off then; see you tomorrow, Eren, Armin, and Annie-chan," you remarked as you waved goodbye.
"See you later!"
"Best of luck with your shooting!"
As you were gathering your belongings, Eren stood up and took your duffel bag, saying, "Let me walk you to your van, Senpai."
"Thank you very much, Eren," you said gratefully.
While Eren walks you outside, Porco's words rang in his mind very much like your driver's horn.
He was so lost in thought that you had to gently squeeze his cheeks to bring him back to reality. For some reason, you felt chills go down your spine as his emerald green eyes locked onto yours.
"Thank you for carrying my suitcase; I'll see you tomorrow, Eren," you said cordially.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow too, senpai." Eren said, mirroring your smile but lacking the innocent aura it always possesses.
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misskath90 · 2 years
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Hiii, I love your writing, I just lurk on Tumblr but I want to at least show my recognition to my fav Nabrina writers, especially after Christmas it was really nice to have a flurry of new material 📖
☔️ what’s your darkest/saddest wip?
🎨 do you listen to music while writing or silence?
🔔 what’s one thing you love about the way you write?
🙌 who are some writers that inspire you?
🩰 what are some aus that you love to write?
Hope you don’t mind a few questions :)
☔️ what’s your darkest/saddest wip?
My saddest WIP is definitely "Don't leave me in the dark" (which is amusingly, precisely, in the dark, because I haven't continued it) it's a one-shot that I started post part 3, in which I was trying to explore what it was like to be in Hell for Nick and the consequences of this on his mental health.
🎨 do you listen to music while writing or silence?
I listen to music! A lot, actually. Well I think it's clear my biggest inspiration is Taylor Swift (I totally adore her!)
Usually, each fic has "its song" which I repeat over and over as I write. Although sometimes I also make playlists with songs that inspire me.
🔔 what’s one thing you love about the way you write?
This is a difficult question, mainly because as I am a perfectionist... I always feel that what I published could've been better, which often makes it difficult for me to see that the stories are actually good.
I'm not sure what I like about my style because I've never sat down to analyze it, but if I have to answer something, I think that what I like the most about my way of writing is precisely the fact of being able to write (although it sounds somewhat redundant! ) the simple fact of being able to tell stories, of making people feel what you want to convey with your words.
🙌 who are some writers that inspire you?
Definitely when I started writing I was strongly influenced by Jane Austen's work. It was around the same time that I began to read his novels that I began to write so... it was inevitable.
Well, I have a weakness for historical romance novels so when I started writing (and reading at a level that I can only qualify as obsessive) I was also influenced by the style of Lisa Kleypas and I dream of emulating the wit and humor that Julia Quinn puts in her books.
I think those three ladies are to blame that I'm still writing.
🩰 what are some aus that you love to write?
A good romance with a good share of angst is what I love. Lately I have a fixation on second chances stories, all my new ideas have that factor in common. Now it's just a matter of deciding which one I like best.
In other fandoms, I played with writing historical romance and I was a kind of AU that I really enjoyed... In Nabrina's case I only have "Ivy" and I really loved writing it so maybe at some point I decide to write another historical romance, it's not something we have much in the fandom after all.
Also, I love Coffee Shop AU's but I haven't written one in ages!
Thank you so much for your questions and kind words @thewildwhim-blog
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1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd
2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..
3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore
4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)
5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...
6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead
7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------
(very long response ahead)
I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.
With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.
I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.
This is fucking stupid.
Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.
This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.
Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.
I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.
In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.
As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.
(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).
One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!
Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.
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