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#i just allow it to make me sad when it has to
jromanoff · 3 days
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Nightmare II R. George
Pairing: Regina George x Reader
Warning(s): bus accident, mentions of trauma and therapy
Authors note: something short and cute for you all :)
Summary: Regina has a nightmare about the accident.
Word count: 1.1k
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Regina and Cady burst through the doors of the school’s main entrance, their voices echoing through the hallways. The other students followed them outside, eager to witness the encounter between two of the popular girls at North Shore (and film it, of course). Regina stormed away from the school, still shouting at Cady, when suddenly, a vivid yellow blur hurtled towards her from the periphery of her vision.
Regina shot awake as the bus was about to hit her. She immediately shot upright in bed, breathing heavily. Her forehead covered in a small layer of sweat. Who knew Regina George could sweat?
As Regina felt the weight of the blanket on her lap she knew she was safe, in bed. It was a nightmare- it wasn’t real. Not again.
“Gina?” you spoke sleepily as you woke up due to all the movement from Regina’s side.
“Go back to sleep,” Regina said, her voice slightly trembling. She quickly used the blanket to rid herself of the sweat on her forehead. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but Regina wouldn’t let them. She didn’t want to worry her girlfriend.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you turned around in bed to face your girlfriend. Due to the darkness, you could only make out her form sitting upright on the bed as her face was turned away from you. Regina then looked over at you and spoke, “It’s nothing, baby. Just a stupid nightmare. Nothing to worry about.”
You, however, could sense that Regina was more affected by this ‘stupid’ nightmare than she let on. You knew she was trying to keep it together instead of breaking in front of you.
"I know it isn’t nothing, Regina. It's okay to admit when something’s wrong, you know?” you said softly while sitting up and placing a gentle hand on Regina's shoulder. As you looked into Regina's eyes, you could see the tears she was holding back.
Regina's facade cracked for just a moment, her eyes betraying a flicker of uncertainty before she quickly regained her composure. "It was a moment of weakness," Regina spoke dismissively, her tone firm as she tried to reclaim her usual confidence.
Her sudden change of tone left you even more confused. It was suspicious. You wondered what could be bothering Regina so much. Determined to find out, you didn't want to pressure her into telling you. Instead, you hoped she would explain once she calmed down. Her body language suggested she was on high alert at the moment.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, baby. Please tell me what’s wrong.” you said as you rubbed Regina’s shoulder, hoping it would help to ground her.
Regina's dismissive facade crumbled at your words, revealing the vulnerability she was trying so hard to conceal as a single tear fell from her eye. “Okay, maybe my dream did freak me out a little." Regina admitted and sighed. Your heart broke at the sight of your sad and crying girlfriend. She didn’t deserve this.
You wrapped your arms around Regina, pulling her close in a comforting embrace. “It's okay, Regina," you murmured softly. "You don't always have to be tough, or whatever. Everyone has moments when they’re not okay. Even the queen bee. And that’s perfectly fine." you reassured your girlfriend as you felt her tears wetting your shirt.
Regina leaned into the embrace, allowing herself to be vulnerable for just a moment. “I just... I don't like feeling powerless and weak," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper as you gently wiped away some stray tears from her cheeks.
“You're not powerless or weak, Regina. You're a strong, intelligent and powerful woman. Being vulnerable doesn’t invalidate those qualities." you offered words of reassurance and empowerment to your girlfriend.
Regina let out a shaky breath, grateful for the support of her girlfriend. Right now, she allowed herself to let go of the facade and embrace the comfort of being vulnerable with the person she trusted the most.
Silence engulfed the room as the two of you hugged, Regina’s head resting on your shoulder. Allowing herself to relax in your arms, Regina’s breathing slowly got back to normal.
“I dreamed about the accident,” Regina admitted quietly, breaking the silence. This made you frown, the accident was months ago.
“Is this the first time you had a nightmare about the accident?” you questioned.
Silence followed your question. That gave you everything you needed to know. “It’s not, is it?” you sighed “You need to tell me when these things happen, Regina.” you told her, hugging her a little tighter at this confession. Now that you knew about your girlfriend's nightmares, you were rightfully worried about her.
Regina nodded against your shoulder, a weight lifting from her chest as she finally shared her burden with you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to worry you and be a burden to you,” she murmured.
“It’s okay, Gina,” you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m here for you, always. You’ll never be a burden to me.”
Regina squeezed you tightly, her gratitude evident in the way she clung onto you like a koala. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible in the quiet of the room.
“We should try and get some more sleep, don’t you agree?” you asked Regina, pulling away from the embrace, causing Regina to whine at the loss of contact.
“Will you hold me?” Regina asked, her voice hopeful. As if you’d ever deny her.
“Of course, my love,” you smiled and laid back down on the bed. “C’mon, lay down,” you said, patting your chest.
Regina didn’t hesitate to lay down, snuggling into your chest. She sighed in content as she found a comfortable position on your chest.
“Goodnight, my love,” you murmured softly, feeling her relax against you as you rubbed small circles on her back.
“Goodnight, baby,” Regina replied, her voice laced with warmth and affection.
As you thought about your girlfriend, you realized she probably needed to go to therapy to deal with the trauma of the accident. However, you decided that it was something you'd discuss with her tomorrow. She’d probably refuse, but you were determined to try nonetheless. Until then, you’d try to support her to the best of your ability. Now it was time to get some rest.
It didn’t take long before the two of you dozed off. This time, Regina slept peacefully and dreamed about her girlfriend- and so did you.
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impactedfates · 2 days
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Letters Unsent - Genshin + HSR Boys x GN! Reader
★ Summary: After their death, you find a letter. A letter he wrote. A letter he wrote for you, a letter he wished he could’ve given to you personally. A letter describing his feelings.
☆ Characters Included (Separate): Diluc, Wriothesley, Cyno, Argenti, Jing Yuan + Gepard
★ Genre/Trope: Angst + Hurt/No Comfort
☆ Warnings: Major Character Death (Not the Readers)
★ Extra: Angst is fun, angst is nice :)) // Might make another part with different characters if this does well // Not fully proof read // Motivation came back cuz of sad tunes/hj
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He said he'd be back, that it'll be quick. Despite your worry, you knew he was strong, so he'd be able to protect himself right? So you trusted him. Trusted him so much that when his co-worker showed up to your door with an expression you couldn't exactly read, you were confused. It was about him but...he was fine right? Then why were they telling you he had passed? The injuries he sustained was...to much for his body to handle? The healers couldn't help him? But...he said he'd be back...you were snapped out of your thoughts when they handed you a letter with your name on it. "I think he knew he wouldn't be able to make it...so...he wanted you to have this...even if he couldn't hear your answer"
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"To My Dearest,
If I'd ever be lucky to even call you that. Although this isn't ideally how I wanted to do this. I believe I can only get these things on paper, it's much too difficult otherwise. I was never good with words so I hope this alternative is alright for you.
Ever since the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Not in a bad way. It took me way too long to figure out the reason for this was due to the fact I loved you.
I loved seeing your smile.
Hearing your laugh.
Loved the small talk we had that would end up with me taking you home. You made me feel something I didn't think I would ever feel, and I'm unsure if I even deserve it.
If I even deserve you.
Whether or not you feel the same way, I hope we can stick together as long as time allows us.
Sincerely
Diluc."
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"To Y/N
Hope you're doing well, life in Meropide is still as dull as ever. Well, unless you decide to visit, you really do light up the room when you come by don't you? Or maybe that's just for me.
Anyways, preferably I would be telling you this in person, but more work has piled up. That's also why our little tea sessions have to be put on hold for now. Don't worry, as soon as this all clears up and I investigate this one area, then we can go back to the usual.
I have this one blend I think you'd really like!
Anyways, enough beating around the bush.
I like you.
Like like you.
I love you.
So much.
I can't even begin to describe how much I love you, and even if I did I feel you'd be gagging at how cheesy I was being haha!
But really, I love you so much. I want to be with you, of course I understand if you don't feel the same. But Sigwinnie would have my head if I postponed this confession any longer.
I hope to see you again after my work.
Yours Truly
Wriothesley"
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"Hello Y/N
I never thought I'd be writing this kind of letter in my free time. Unfortunately for me, it seems as though fate likes making things harder for me and whenever I want to even try to talk to you about this, it's much more difficult than it was when I practised in the mirror.
Or...
Well...
Practised to Tighnari.
We can ignore that for now though as I'm still trying to put this all together in words.
I would let you borrow my TCG set, you can use it as you please and I'd even let you touch my limited edition cards.
If that's not making any sense then how about a joke?
How does a fruit confess?
They say "Olive You"
.
.
.
Get it, because an olive is a type of fruit, and olive sounds like "I love"
.
.
.
I love you"
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"My beloved rose
As much as I'd love to tell you all these words in person, my search for Idrila is still ongoing and I am unsure when I'll be able to see your beautiful face once again.
Ever since my eyes laid on your beauty, I thought I had found Idrila herself, but once I got to know you. Even if you weren't the Goddess, you could almost rival her.
The sparkle in your eyes.
The pretty little smile.
Your wonderful personality.
All those things you think are flaws? I love each and everyone of them. They are not flaws to me and it pains me knowing you think of yourself like that.
Once we meet again, I want to make sure you know how deserving you are of these words, how your 'flaws' aren't flaws and how much I love every bit of you.
Though I am aware I find many things worthy of praise. I want to let you know that you're different.
I don't just want to praise you, compliment you. I wish to love you, hold your hands and protect you with my life, no matter what it takes.
I love you so much, and if I could be so lucky to call you mine. Well, I think I'd be the happiest man alive.
I will return soon,
Signed
Argenti"
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"Morning, Afternoon or Night
I'm not too sure when the Cloud Knight will give this to you, or when I'll give this to them. Whatever the case, I won't beat around the bush too much.
I love you.
Nothing could compare the feeling in my heart when I see you.
The smile that will never fade as long as you're there by my side.
You are just amazing. In all my years of living, never would I have thought to have met someone as perfect as you.
Even Fu Xuan herself can see just how enamoured I am for you, although for her. She's been using it as an advantage to do work.
'If you finish now you can see them quicker'
'How would they feel knowing that you're not working?'
'Stop dozing off or they won't come to see you ever again!'
I must admit, they all do work. Even if in hindsight, not only would I still see you even with work uncomplete, I'll see you plenty of times and more to come but I don't think you care all too much about my sleep.
But I digress.
I hope this letter finds you well, take as much time as you need to consider my words and think about your own feelings.
I'll be waiting where I always am.
Jing Yuan"
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"Dear Y/N
Aeons this is embarrassing. But it would be even more embarrassing if Serval kept teasing me about this. I've been putting this off for so long, worried about how you'd react.
Your answer.
And if this would change your view on me...but you're not that kind of person. I know you're not. And after a bit of thinking, to save me from stumbling on my words. I decided to write a letter.
Serval should be the one giving this to you, so I hope she didn't say anything to you, I would nearly die of embarrassment if she did. Anyways!
So...I know it's probably not much hoping Serval wouldn't say something actually, knowing her, she gave it away with one sentence but...
I like you, a lot. More than you could ever know.
And I'm more than happy to talk to you about this in full once I'm back from my mission.
I can only pray you feel the same, but even if you don't.
I hope we stay friends.
Until next time,
Gepard"
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WOOO FINALLY GOT THIS DONE AFTER FOREVER.
Sorry if any characters are OOC, I tried my best with writing what I think they'd write in a confession letter, but I hope you enjoyed this anyways!
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hellcat8908 · 3 days
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Come Home Poly Batboys x Female Reader
Note: This is part 2 of Let Her Go
Warnings: Language
Over the last few weeks, the letters from Azriel and Cassian had piled up in a basket by the door. They sat unopened and ignored as you gave yourself the time to process the events of that night. It was no surprise that Azriel had learned where you were living, not that you were trying to hide anyway. The gossip around you and your mates had only worsened since you left. You first tried therapy, but they only seemed to be interested in details about your mates and not what you needed to work through, so you quickly gave up. Instead, you turned to journaling as a way to get your emotions and thoughts out and somewhat organized.
You currently sat in your favorite chair with your journal in your lap as you wrote out your feelings for the day. A series of harsh knocks disrupted you, causing you to leave your journal on the end table. You were surprised to see Rhys standing at your doorstep. You're tempted to slam the door in his face, but think better of it. "What are you doing here?" You ask cautiously. "I want to talk to you." He says, his voice sounding rough. "We have nothing to talk about." You answer. "I think we both know that's not true. Please, y/n." He says with a certain sadness.
"You said everything you needed to say that night. You made it clear where I stand with you." You say as his words come flooding back to your mind. You move to shut the door, but he stops it with his foot. "Please, I'm only asking for a few minutes of your time and for you to listen." He says pleadingly. Your anger rises at his words. "Only asking for a few minutes of my time and for me to listen?! No, you're asking for so much more than that. You're asking for me to relive the worst night of my life. You're asking me to let you in and open wounds that's that haven't had a proper chance to heal because I'm drowning in it. I have no one to talk to while the three of you have each other. So, no, you're not only asking for my time and for me to listen!"
He at least has the decency to look apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't think-" he starts to say, but you interrupt him. "That's the problem, you don't think, especially when it comes to me. You only think about yourself and your court. You're an amazing high lord but a terrible mate." You say as you let the anger take over. "I think it's best if you leave." You tell him. "I'm sorry." He says brokenly as he turns away. Once the door shuts behind you, you crumple to the floor, allowing the pain and anger to consume you as you fall apart. You let all the hurt and anger flood the bond so they might finally realize what they've put you through.
You manage to force yourself out of bed two days later. You make breakfast before grabbing the paper from the doorstep. Your eyes widen at the headline. You throw on some clothes and quickly braid your hair before making your way into Velaris. You don't bother knocking and let yourself in. You practically run to Rhys's office where you find him along with Cassian and Azriel. They stare at you in surprise. "What do you think you're doing?!" You demand as you focus your attention on Rhys. "What needed to be done." He says. "No! You stepping down as high lord is the worst thing you could do for this court!" You respond angrily.
"But the best thing I could do for us! You're tired of coming second to my court. Well, this is the solution." He replies. "It's not the solution! It's you overreacting!" You shout. "You're not stepping down as high lord! If you do, I will disappear without a trace, and you will never see me again!" You shout. "There is just no winning with you. Is there?! No matter what I do, it isn't right!" Rhys shouts. "Why does everything have to be so black and white with you?! All I wanted was for you to respect my feelings and stop treating me as anything less than your mate!" You shout before you feel the warmth of Cassian's arm as he pulls you from the room while Azriel stops Rhys from following.
Cassian carries you to the bedroom and blocks the door before sitting you down. "What the hell, Cass?!" You ask. "You tell me!" He says as he crosses his arms. "What is it going to take for you to forgive us?!" He asks angrily as he runs his fingers through his hair. He doesn't give you a chance to answer, "Those months of silence you're punishing us for are bullshit. You didn't speak up either. You never once addressed it with us or the ones gossiping. We just assumed you were ignoring it like the rest of us. You share just as much blame in this as we do." He says before storming out, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You sit on the oversized bed you all once shared. You run your fingers over the comforter. You curl up in the bed and allow a few tears to escape. You hold the pillow that smells of Azriel as you find comfort in it. You think about what Cassian said as you lay in silence. You zone out until a knock pulls you back to reality. Azriel opens the door, "is it ok if I come in?" He asks. He takes your silence as a yes and sits on the bed beside you. "Did you come to yell at me too?" You ask. "No, I brought you some tea and a muffin from your favorite bakery." He says.
"How did everything get so bad?" You ask, ignoring his offer. "A lot of things went left unsaid from all of us until it spiraled into something toxic." He says honestly. "Think we can ever get back to the way it was?" You ask. "Do you want to?" He questions in response. "I want it to be better." You answer honestly, "but I'm worried we won't be able to move past this." His shadows gently play with your hair, causing you to visibly relax. "All we can do is try." He says softly. "They hate me so much, though." You say as you choke back a sob. He wraps his arms around you, "Nobody hates you, princess. We all just need to calm down and discuss what needs to change moving forward." He says, always being the voice of reason to you.
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brittscafe · 21 hours
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Hi! Maybe you consider writing some one-shot with Sukuna comforting fem reader while she has some decease? Not injury and not like she is having a flu, but some real decease. Doesn’t matter which one exactly. He is angry that he can’t help her and he is like extra soft and gentle with her 🥺 I know that it’s way out of his character, but domestic Sukuna is everything to me 🧎🏻‍♀️
Hiiiii <3 ofcccc, I live for soft Sukuna 😊 I hope you like this <3
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Sukuna Ryomen could do anything he wanted to. He could murder a whole family, world domination, anything, you name it. But...the one thing he really wanted to do, but he just can't, is help you.
Ever since you've been diagnosed with your disease, you've been stuck in your bed all day and the days were you feel super good are rare. You thought Sukuna would leave you for sure, I mean, you couldn't really do anything. You were of no use to him, but Sukuna doesn't think that at all.
Once you told him the bad news, he was so anger and outraged, but he was also helpless and in a fit of sadness.
Helpless.
That's one thing Sukuna never thought he would be. He could do anything, but help you. No matter he badly he wanted to, no matter how bad his heart aches for you and the pain you're in everyday.
So, he spends every waking moment with you. Every night is spent with you, massaging your aching muscles and giving you soft, warm kisses. Always having his arms wrapped around you as you fall asleep in his loving arms.
He stays up for a while after you fall asleep, clenching his jaw and cursing the world for doing this to you. The love he carries for you in his heart is overflowing.
The mornings are always calm as you wake up in his arms. Sukuna is always awake before you and has a cup of tea or coffee for you. He helps you drink it and watches you carefully.
You roll your eyes at him and tell him you're not a baby who needs to be supervised. Sukuna chuckles and makes a sarcastic remark about you needing to be babied and how you are his baby.
Sukuna learns how to cook for you and he'll go run anywhere to get you anything you need. He takes care of you and lets you do anything you want.
He usually grimaces when you play with his hair or run your fingers through it, but now he smiles. He used to act so annoyed when you played with his hair, but deep down, he was always smiling.
Now he shows his smile, the one that no one else is allowed to see, but you. His words are affectionate and not harsh.
He runs hot baths for you and washes your body. His touches are so tender and slow, feeling your flesh under the pads of his fingers brings him such comfort.
Sometimes, he'll even get in the bath with you and wrap you up in his arms. You'll rest your back on his chest from behind, closing your eyes and relaxing in the moment.
Sukuna will cover your neck in wet kisses, whispering into your ear how much he loves you. He nuzzles his nose into your neck, breathing in your scent.
He'll never show you how sad he is that he cannot help you nor how anger he is. He has to hide that for you, he doesn't want you to see that side of him.
He cannot express how much he wishes he was not helpless..
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Ko-Fi link
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not-goldy · 24 hours
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I’m wondering if Jimin loves JK and I say this because all I ever see is him flirting with other members and rejecting Jk, flinging his arm off or suffering out of his hold and then he goes and rubs RMs thighs, or hugs Tae or Yoongi? It baffles me, and it’s so sad to see JKs dejected face. Bless him.
Hmmm🥲
Found: Jk not feeling that Kwenchana
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Not gonna lie your insecurity is adorable 🤭🤭🤭🤭
But you don't have to wonder. you have to take Jimin's word for it. He says he loves Jungkook therefore he loves him. Right???
And since Jk keeps following him around I'd assume he feels that good good vibes off Jimin cos Jungkook is a no bs kinda guy and will dip fast if he the energy is off. Coughing in Tae Kook. Cough. Cough.
If you don't think it's Romantic love between them at least don't question that base love. Cos that would be weird af. After everything Jimin has done for him💀
By every thing I don't mean the constant cheering him on like he's his number one fan, speaking highly of him, supporting his career- listen, if a man can risk his hair follicles to dye his hair Golden to support another man's album release MARRY HIM. cuff him. Get the bands on him Jump the broom invoke the spirits of your ancestors and let them witness the I do.
But noo, I'm not talking about that kinda love.
I'm not talking about the absolute fear and panic in his eyes when he hears Jungkook has passed out on stage, or how quick he drops everything to go and see him.
I'm not talking about the concern in his voice when he says "Jungkook you need to pace yourself." When he feels JK is cutting it close.
I'm not talking about studying him so well that he knows just how to confort him when he's nervous
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Or being confused as to whom to give the last bite of food to between staff and Jungkook- just so you know Jimin loves everyone but if it comes down to Saving you or Jungkook- do bid your loved ones farewell cos it will never be you💀
I'm not talking about him nurturing Jungkook and providing a safe space around him for Jungkook to share his vulnerability with.
I'm not talking about Jimin offering him his companionship and filling him with laughter to make his heart merry and ease his troubles
I'm not talking about Jimin protecting Jungkook from fans who body shame him but also looking out for him at the company and going out of the way to insist the members respect Jungkook's choices and hearing his voice when he makes contributions to conversations.
And while these days Jungkook has the audacity to insist on being heard at the table especially around cameras, when he needed to be heard at his most vulnerable years Jimin looked out for him.
But I'm not talking bout none of those.
I'm talking about the specific ways Jimin tailors his love to fit Jungkook's needs. Because at the end of the day that's what truly matters.
It's not about YOUR conception of love and YOUR notion of love. It's about WHAT JUNGKOOK UNDERSTANDS TO BE LOVE.
To that I think Jimin loves him when he allows him to be his own man first and foremost. He loves him when inspite of being two years his senior he allows Jungkook to feel just as important and equal.
I think he loves him when he respects him as a man a colleague and an artist.
I think he loves him when he stands by him and trust that he knows what he's doing no matter what.
I think he loves him when he holds his hands after a major scandal and stroll through the airports with him knowing the last thing his pr and solo stans want is for him to be caught in the cross fires.
I think he loves him when he puts in the effort to understand him so he doesn't feel misunderstood around him.
I think he loves him when he is transparent with him and let him in as much as he let's him in.
I think he loves him when he allows him to take care of him and not shut him out by constantly guarding his heart and secrets around him.
There's a mutually shared degree of vulnerability between them and I think that's love too.
Bye
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Note
Real talk
Im sooooo tired of Vox always being portrayed as the victim and Alastor the only one 100% responsible for their friendship falling apart
Did we all suddenly forgot that Vox is a terrible person too? He brainwashes his audience, he supports Val, he is willing to offer his lowest employees for Val to kill, he's also prob abusive to his employees as well, he stalks pretty much everyone, he has like 5 cameras inside Angel's dressing room, also it's like implied he's jealous of Angel because he gets Val's attention, him being jealous of Angel for being a victim of abuse is pretty messed up if you ask me. Oh he also told Sir Pentious to fucking kill himself and he also gets hard of seeing people in pain and get hurt! (Sure it was Alastor but still messed up)
" he looks so sad at the end of stayed gone when Alastor threatens him I feel so bad for him:(("
Really ? Well maybe if he had just kept his little hate boner for Al to himself instead of feeling to need to start publicly slandering him it wouldn't had happened. Just saying. Also I don't see how people feel bad for him. If anything he looks so extremely pathetic it's laughable I want to kick him
Okay this is kinda out of the point I want to make it's just many people who make him the victim seem to forget he's a terrible person so I just wanted to friendly remind everyone that he's as awful as Al ^^
Anyway
I think, we should acknowledge, that it's a complicated, and probably tragic, situation. What if, maybe, they're both as equal at fault for shit going down hills for their friendship. Vox because he doesn't respect others wishes and cannot take no for an answer, he prob tried forcing Al to move on with recent technology, which Al hates. ((His request to Al to join the Vees also prob meant catching up with the nowdays stuff and new technology, like the rest of them)) and Al because he was prob unnecessary cruel and brutal with his rejection.
I don't think Al was just using Vox like I've seen many people say. He allowed Vox to take a picture of them together. For Al to do that I think it confirms their friendship was genuine. "Ah but it's Alastor so that means it was fake cuz he's an evil manipulative bastard who only cares for him-" You're wrong, but also right lol. He's an evil manipulative bastard, but , he's also capable of genuine friendships with others (( did y'all forget Rosie lol? )). What I think happened is that, time passed , things changed. Vox became obsessed with new technology and tried to force Al to follow in, Al didn't like that, but instead of communicating with eachother and solving their problems by talking it out and respect eachother's wishes, they had an unnecessary argument and fight. They're both to blame for this, they're no victims in the situation and it's okay you can still sympathise with eithers side
Also people who make Al the villain for like not returning Vox's confession and feelings in most One sided Radiostatic videos/fics I've seen-- yikes.. I really hate that I have to literally say to PLEASE don't villiantise the aroace character for being aroace and rejecting confessions. It's extremely ace/arophonic (and yes I get to have a say to this, I'm a replused aroace videos/fics like this genuinely make me feel negative emotions) even if he was extremely cruel with his rejection -- villiantise the fact that he's an asshole- not his rejection.
yes I agree!! this is essentially a consolidation of points I've made before ksdlfglg
like yes, alastor's an absolute shithead but I think there are some people who forget that vox is also... not a good person. I don't think there's anything wrong with there being sympathetic aspects to vox but I feel like there's such a huge amount of fanwork where he's the only one portrayed sympathetically without showing his own bad points in their relationship, and I absolutely hate it when alastor is fully blamed for how vox is now and vox is seen as
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yeah
vox got pissy at a rejection, that's not being able to take no for an answer, that's incel behaviour LMAO
feel like there's something to be said about people feeling the need to sympathise with the one with unrequited feelings compared to the one who has to deal with someone expecting romance from them when they don't feel the same. does it have to do with society's expectations about romance that unrequited feelings are more sympathisable?
but yeah I am glad that at least the "complicated" part of the description of their relationship implies to me it won't be as simple as "vox was the poor victim and alastor was just using him", I think it is much more interesting if there's no clear victim and both were at fault in a way
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just-antithings · 3 days
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I wanted to piggy-back off the Harry Potter ask regarding performance activism specifically regarding Harry Potter fandom.
I'm a little woozy after a medical emergency I had this week but I'm scared ill forget this, so bare with me, please.
JK Rowling coming out as a TERF was absolutely heartbreaking especially as a queer person who grew up on the series. The series was a life-line in a time where I was being drowned in loneliness. I literally grew up with the books. I started when I was eleven and read the final books ad an 18 yr old.
And when she first came out, I was one of the many who wanted to walk away and no longer wanted to associate with it, but felt so wrong.
It felt wrong on many levels. On the most noticeable, it made me incredibly sad that I felt I was no longer allowed to read the books, enjoy the movies with my family, got to some of the Harry Potter exhibits with my family. A huge part of my adolescence was suddenly forbidden.
Abstaining from the series was hurting me more than it was impacting her.
Then, from a more social justice perspective, what does us abstaining actually do? I mean really, it's like the trnasphobes dumbing their beer over Dylan. Or burning merch over finding out someone is gay or whatever. We make fun of people destroying their merch because the corporations already have their money.
It's the same thing with JKR. She already made her money. She doesn't care what her fans think because she doesn't have to.
Refusing to engage with a piece of media to feel morally superior just makes the individual feel better and I think we do it because people feel powerless and like they have no other way to advocate and fight against transphobia.
It also feels like a way to feel morally superior and as an opportunity to punch down.
So, I, a queer person, let myself enjoy a piece of media creates by a transphobe, because that piece of fiction has grown to be so much more than its creator.
For advocacy?
I donate. I engage with the community. I'm mindful of the conversations I engage in. I speak when needed and listen when needed. I donate when I can. I support trans creators when I can. I vote. I learn our queer history and understand where we've come from and what has allowed us to grow into the community we are now.
Personally, I find it more satisfying and more rewarding, and more impactful than ignoring a fandom and piece of literature that has brought myself and my family joy.
Anywho, hope this makes sense. Thanks for your time!
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sysig · 15 days
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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sskk-manifesto · 21 days
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#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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gingerbreadmonsters · 4 months
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sleepy and v fed up w this blasted reading for japanese history class tomorrow. give me 45 minutes to finish this article and i will be back to talk about kissing or something
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules
#the klock keeps ticking#i always get this feeling when i play 999 but tonight i got it with the letter#cuz ive uh finally decided to bite the bullet and play the evil meanie route where everyone dies 😟#a route ive put off for so long cuz its just too damn sad to think about akjdksk god it hurts#and ive played like for the most part every route of this game EXCEPT this one but i know the ending is really dark and i need to see it#plus i will at least get my beloved torture scene in so thats nice#i didnt kill off isabella though its a coma route which i hope still allows me to get the ending i want cuz i mean shell still be out of#commission in the final scene so hopefully it works out#but yeah no i started off tonight on the marianne chapter and while i did skip around through it cuz ive played it many times and i just#wanna get to the important stuff already alskj i also just replayed some of the best parts#aka the shit where lorraine appears and the gay shit alksks and god like hnnnghh not only does this chapter still ruin me emotionally#i also just remembered why i love this character so much and remembered just how good the character writing in this game is#and i also played into the rebecca chapter and didnt skip as much cuz i actually am not as familiar with the coma route#cuz it makes me sad and i never revisited it lol and i havent gotten to The Scene that makes me sob yet#its so coming though dont worry but idk i guess its just been cuz ive been thinking about p3 so much lately#and in particular shinji both the death route and coma route but in particular the coma cuz thats what im writing#and damn lol the letter just writes the grief and nuanced relationships and death stuff so much better lol god#like marianne loses her childhood best friend whom she has a gay ass relationship with to suicide and like its just better#she blames herself and still isnt even kinda okay with it after 13 years#like it just fucking ruined her and the only thing keeping her from losing it is her repression and drinking problem and unattached sex#and then with coma route well fucking first off isabellas friends actually like. visit her frequently damn#and they just all have such unique ways of coping like Zach is being optimistic so no one gets too upset#rebecca is sorta in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly she has to contact the family and make big decisions#and shes also just taking the most stress and shes got so many complicated feelings around isabella going on but she genuinely cannot stand#that isabella is hurt shes fucking destroyed she loves isabella and then ashton AAAAA god yeah i also just remembered that hes SUCH a good#character hes like being a genuine asshole right like Rebecca calls to tell him that isabella is comatose now and he literally doesnt let#her say anything he literally says ‘i dont have time for other things rn’ like the wellness of his friend is just ‘other things’#but you just know thats not it not at all hes burying himself in work to the point of destruction so he can figure out who did this and make#everything okay and he refuses to show even an ounce of vulnerability cuz THE SECOND HE DOES IT ALL COMES OUT AND HE CANT GET OUT OF BED#ANYMORE CUZ HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS DYING
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fantasticalleigh · 8 months
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there is nothing more humbling than putting everything into the things you make and then having it amount to nothing each time. no matter how hard i try none of it matters. but at the same time it's kind of freeing and allows me to be more cavalier about the next thing. ¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯¯_(ツ)_/¯
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widevibratobitch · 24 days
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#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.
#god. no one gives a fuck abt bleaching. i am screaming into the void. y cant i put this energy into being productive#i just want there to be themes and a satisfying ending. and ending that is sad and yet happy#i just think. for me. ichigo kurosaki died on the night rukia pierced him with her zanpakto. oh fuck i cant spell. fucking strap in#i kno he didnt technically die according to the rules of the universe but i think as soon as ichigos soul left his body. that body became#a corpse. so when he goes back into it its not suitible to live in anymore and he only starts to feel that with the fullbring arc#i think when rukia jumpstarted his powers she lit the fuse of a bomb and becoming a visor allowed him to chanel his resentment#bc he does resent. ichigo is an emotional person. he felt emense guilt when his mothet died bc he felt he couldnt protect her bc he was#being raised to protect. the boy has a complex and its kinda fuckrd up and its 1000% isshins fault. so when thr opportunity comes for#ichigo to sacrifice himself for his family he does and he literally and metaphorically dies. his life from that point on is overtaken by#death. so what do we do with ichigo after everything is said and done bc he cant go back to being human he cant be a living corpse. he has#to go to the soul society. bc i like to imagine everything hes done to his soul. his twisted cosmically weird special boy soul. hes like a#bomb. its unstable and they need to teach him to control it so he doesnt tear a hole in reality and let thr hollows pour in. so its safer#if that happens in thr soul society. and rukia lil miss ice princess can teach him to do that. i would also make it weird with god stuff but#i never read the blood war stuff so i dont kno enough abt the gods. also i would make rukia more at odds with everyone who was gonna let her#fucking die and who overlooked her bc she should b held with more reguard for her fighting. but misogyny 😒 so then what do we do with#ichigo in thr soul society? i cant stand the idea of him becoming part of the institution. i cant. i think he should be rogue. rebell. idk#train to be strong and battle agaisnt the 13 court guard squad who r clearly going to try to control him as he tries to control himself.#send my boy to therapy so he can control his reatsu? is the the word? idk. maybe he should go to that dead dog district and look for kids#with spiritual pressure. he needs to feel useful. maybe id just give him weird god powers. i am an ichigo special boy apologist#thats as far forward as i can think. ichigo has to b dead. has to learn to control his power before he can go fight. rukia can teach him#he rebells against the institution. encourages rukia to go apeshit bc fuck everyone. and then idk. he keeps trying to save ppl forever#or he dies and destroys the universe. a big ball of resentment and bad feels and secrets upon secrets upon secrets. god y am i thinking#abt this so much. ive got bullshit to deal with. anyway. idk i just like ichigo a lot and i think thr ending to bleach is th worst forever#bleach ramblings
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muu-kun · 1 year
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#; ♡ ; okay to reblog#muu has admittedly been describing is self perceived melancholy and isolation regarding it#as being comparable to the circle drawn around Sadness in Inside Out due to others finding his emotions to be Too Much in capacity#and that as such he has thus been persistently trying to make himself very very small in spaces#so that maybe perhaps someone would soon be able to reside in the circle with him just until he gets to where he feels he is supposed to be#muu has also stated on numerous actions that while he is adamant about self healing he is not necessarily of preference#to not have the assistance of peers and their feedback and he tends he show it most predominantly in asking them to hear Everything#about himself in the form of the big box because one he wants assurances at the end of it all but also because he Has to be explaining#his processes of thought and general state of where he is now to people so that they may go Oh so that why you do the neurotic shit you do#but it really be hard out here when you don't know how to self advocate for a persistently emotionally present romantic partner#you don't really have any friends and you are either God awful at making new ones or you don't want to try for reasons of either#feeling scorned past close friends of yours have left time and time again OR#because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing#until you can properly answer that dilemma but in turn you've left yourself with 1 person to seek out and talk to#but with that comes the existential dread of either a this person is also going to leave me or#b I am in fact so totally codependent on them that it isn't fair to be my sole research for assistance that I ought to fend for myself#but what do you even do to fend for yourself when you don't even know how to Advocate for yourself??#you devise a plan to shrink down and provide no indication to those around you that you are struggling with anything#that perhaps shriveling yourself down like that will allow for people to find you tolerable enough to be around#and that their presences will patch up every interpersonal wound in your system until eventually what you are faking has come true#; ♡ ; inner thoughts
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musical-chick-13 · 2 months
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#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but#not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about.#that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends#that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even#considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF...#like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy)#but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car#crash or fix me soup when I'm sick.#like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad#and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship#right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go#if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through#the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!!#and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after#she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think#anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore#but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst#Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that#this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me#WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today#and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore!#In the Vents#GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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