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#i know i joke like 'oh yea i love when cinder beats kids into the pavement' but like im just joking yo ...
nyaskitten · 2 months
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All jokes about "It's perfectly fine for a fictional character to beat the shit out of a random teen" aside, why the fuck have I GENUINELY seen people claim Wu deserved to have been punched in the face by Faith. YES, he lied, which was fucked up, but that is a grown adult woman about to punch the shit out of a young teenager, if anything she should be more annoyed at the four "older teenagers" who never thought to intervene for... some reason. They just let him lie until he was caught bullshitting... like yeah it probably taught him lying gets you nowhere but also DAWG COME ON
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After the heartache of the Volume 8 finale, I would like to return to a happier point in the show and suggest some memes/jokes that I like to think the students at Beacon would have had. More closely inline with the RWBY Chibi-verse, than the actual show - where Nothing Bad Ever Happened.
"Who's child is this?" being used to refer to Ruby - the youngest student at Beacon - when she's left unsupervised and/or doing something odd.
"I'd let Glynda punish/whip me for one corn chip."
Every now and again "Missing - Have you seen this person?" posters for Professor Peach will pop up around campus. No one knows who it is that keeps making them.
Vomit Boy candids being taken and shared any time Jaune is Suffering™️ on some form of transport.
The Great One plush of Pyrrha exists in-universe... and becomes the go-to prize for any stupid competition between the students. There's at least a dozen of these dolls on campus now, owned by various people and won as "spoils of war."
There's a dedicated chalkboard in the combat room for tallying how many times Nora has launched someone into the stratosphere. Notable mentions are listed on the board alongside her of other people who have achieved this feat - including Yang, Yatsuhashi, and Glynda.
(She launched both Port and Oobleck one day when they kept annoying her. Sometimes, their screams can still be heard if you listen closely enough.)
"There's that old guy again..." "Oh, shopkeep? Yea, he's everywhere. Don't think too much about it."
This leads to "Don't think too much about it." becoming something of a slogan for every time anything unusual happens.
"Candy canes, kids! One for Sun Wukong, one for Yang Xiao-Long, ooh four for Coco Adel, you go Coco!"
"I--"
"Andnoneforweissschneebye~"
Team STRQ having something akin to legend status at Beacon, whispered in hushed voices for fear and reverence of their names. There's a war between the students regarding team JNPR as their successors vs. the students who insist JNPR are not anywhere near worthy of such a title.
"How many team CRDLs does it take to beat Pyrrha?"
Blurry fancam-style videos of the Qrow vs. Winter fight out in the courtyard being traded around like baseball cards with other students. Some try and manufacture a "rematch" of this with the materials they've got - trying to get Ruby and Weiss to fight each other. 
That weird sing-song "HellOooOo~" that Yang sometimes does being mimicked by everyone. And I mean everyone.
Any time there's a significant lull in conversations or classes, someone often asks "Why are we here?" which never fails to make everyone in the vicinity groan.
"Ozpin is compensating for something" jokes about his office chair - including at least one popular response being "it's the war crimes", without them knowing just how accurate they actually are.
"On a scale of Ren-Nora, how excited do you want me to be?"
"Ladies Love Lavender" referring to Lisa Lavender having her own in-universe fandom mostly comprised of women. (Lavender being associated with lesbians irl, and I just think this would be funny.)
The sight of Ren just picking up and carrying Nora away from something is so commonplace that other people start doing it to their friends when they Need To Stop.
"Why is Blake's bow so big?" "Because it's full of secrets."
Blake being a closet faunus being such a poorly hidden secret that by the time she finally takes off the bow no one actually even notices. 
The betting pool surrounding exactly what it is in Ozpin's cup - coffee being one of the least popular options, and souls being the top choice.
Using Yatsuhasi as a unit of measurement. 
Photoshopping adorable images of Velvet onto various "cute" animal memes.
Everyone wanting to be spanked by Coco Adel. 
"I'd let Fox blow me up too."
"Why is Weiss' hair so long?" "To reflect the length of her father's crimes."
Everyone mimicking Pyrrha's memetic "I'm sorry!" anytime they apologise for anything. Even going as far to do it while apologising to things that don't require apologies - like inanimate objects.
"Are Port and Oobleck, you know... 💅?"
In fact, just that 💅 being used to refer to a large number of people at Beacon. Actual LGBT students picking this up and using it towards grimm when they're attacked to question the sexuality/homophobia of the grimm targeting them over their peers.
Threatening Neptune with water anytime he flirts with a girl who is clearly Not Interested in him.
No one knowing who, exactly, the other two members of team SSSN are - with wild theories abounding about who they may be. Popular choices include Shopkeep, Zwei, and Professor Peach.
This persists even after their tournament fights where they're shown. Scarlet and Sage are perfectly content with this, and participate.
"Arslan's/Pyrrha's back must be aching from constantly carrying her entire team."
And the respective responses of, "Reese/Nora are alright."
Similar jokes about Glynda also carrying the entire faculty/academy on her back.
"Salutations!"
The war between the "Irondaddy" fanbase, and his haters - who refer to him with various derogatory versions of his name. "Metalpenis", "Coppercock", "Chromeshaft", etc.
Anytime someone is doing something ~questionable~ donning a pair of glasses and/or imitating Oz or Oobleck pushing them back up their nose with accompanying menacing body language. (Kubrick Stare optional.)
Mercury having a foot fetish, courtesy of the people who caught him sniffing shoes at the festival.
"Did <character> just die?" "You know, it was really unclear." any time someone takes some insane damage in a fight and isn't seen for some time afterwards.
Everyone trying to locate and get a pic of the ~mysterious~ fourth member of team CMSN, who has only ever been spotted once - her tournament fight in the first round. Beacon's version of "Where's Wally?"
The Sympathy Fund for Emerald and her one-sided crush on Cinder. "She could honestly do so much better."
People offering themselves up as tribute to spar with Pyrrha/Yang/Coco/Sun just so they can be beaten up by the hottest people on campus.
"I drink milk!" being used as a defensive argument in wildly inappropriate contexts.
Naming grimm really boring names and attempting to keep them as pets. 
The innumerous times Port has allowed a "zoo-break" to happen under his watch and everyone having to assist in recovering his prized subjects.
"Where the fuck are all the fourth years?" "Ozpin's soul collection."
Candid shots of Glynda Suffering™️ being shared similarly to the ones of Vomit Boy.
Ranking people based on their Patience Levels - Pyrrha, Ren, Glynda, Emerald, and Fox being frequent top markers based on the bullshit they put up with from their respective teams.
"Saint Pyrrha" being a common nickname for her, and her neverending niceness towards people who absolutely do not not deserve it.
Weiss' "Hey!" being replicated amongst the student body and slowly growing more and more high-pitched in its replication until it eventually just becomes a shrill noise. Even so, everyone still knows what it means - and Weiss is absolutely unamused by all of this.
In fact, a lot of early!Weiss' comments being mercilessly mocked by everyone - "I'm a victim!" being one of them.
Renowned fear permitting amongst the student body regarding Yang's red eyes meaning Serious Business. Morphs into references of "going full Yang" to mean having rage-fuelled temper tantrums.
"Never miss a beat, never miss a beat" becoming a mantra for focusing on a task. This inspires several remixes of Neon saying it, and again with no one knowing who it is making them.
By all means, feel free to add any more that you all think of! I could use a laugh!
Also, check the notes for additions!
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