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rslashrats · 3 months

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🪰 housefly734 Follow

just a reminder that flies rubbing their hands together =/= plotting a nasty scheme

🪰 r0tt1ngm3at Follow

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!! I HATE THE STEREOTYPE THAT US RUBBING OUR HANDS TOGETHER MEANS WE ARE PLANNING SOMETHING DUBIOUS!!

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

^^ Boosting! I constantly get non-flies giving me death glares whenever I wash my hands in the restroom. Like, that's what you're supposed to do after going to the bathroom! Sorry for being hygienic I guess 🙄

🪰 diptera-doll Follow

Reasons why flies might be rubbing their hands together:

It's chilly out and they're trying to warm up

They just put hand sanitizer/lotion/hand cream on

They're rolling a ball of clay together

What you should do if you see a fly rubbing their hands together:

Leave them alone! It's none of your business

Hope this helped! :)

🪰 flyhlghh Follow

people also forget that hand-rubbing is a very common stim!! neurodivergent flies constantly get stigmatized for showing any traits of their neurodivergencies in public!! please don't forget that!!

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I dont know about you losers but i like to rub my hands together because i am planning the most heinous and villanous crimes in my head

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Wow, most obvious troll I have ever seen in my life. Get a life, dude 🙄

🪰 compoundeyehaver Follow

> claims to be a real fly

> has bee as their profile pic

dude couldn even get the right insect for their shitty troll account LMFAOOOOO

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

No i am real fly and i am plotting to land on someones pie rn and ruin it with all my real fly germs. rubbing my hands together as i do it too

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Anyone wanna bet this guy is some amphibian from 4frog typing this nonsense from their lilypad right now? Just me? Okay-

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am buzzing around people's ears now

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Yep, that pretty much confirms my theory. The nerve of some non-flies, I swear 🙄

🪰 batsianmimc Follow

@venus-fly-trap-hater

🪰 venus-fly-trap-hater Follow

this post is so real!! tysm babe for sending it to me 💞 ilyy

🪰 batsianmimc Follow

ILY too sugar cube 😘

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

Can you guys stop kissing on this post its ruining my evil scheme planning

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Can't believe this guy is still at it, honestly. @staff @tumblr Please take action against fake fly troll accounts such as these ones!

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

Staff cant kill me i rubbed my hands on them too hard and they dieded sorry

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

🤣🤣🤣 Oh the excuses this fake is making, LOL! I haven't been this entertained since the Bombylius major discourse last year!

🪰 compoundeyehaver Follow

why are you still arguing with the troll instead of just blocking

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Just think it's entertaining to see the lack of logic that bounces around in the brains of these non-flies sometimes 🤷‍♀️ Every response this so called "I am a real fly, trust me" user has given me has just made me crack up and flap my wings together.

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am gonna rub my hands and plan more evil schemes involving you next

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Heh, just try it, kid. Go on, I'll wait. 🥱

🦗 chirpingboy Follow

things are getting heated in the fly community

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Of course a Grasshopper has the nerve to comment something insensitive on this post. Honestly, just mind your business 🙄

🦗 chirpingboy Follow

okayy

🦗 hopping-along-the-bank Follow

Hey, you can't really preach for not discriminating against flies and then discriminate against a grasshopper, dude. Not cool.

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

I think I certainty can, with my past experiences of Grasshoppers always finding the ways to say the most uneducated and baseless takes on my previous posts and discussions. Plus, after the Fly-Grasshopper War of 247 BC (in which my ancestors fought in, mind you) and the consequences that followed it, I think I am well within my rights. But go ahead, frame me as the bad guy here. 🤣

🦗 hopping-along-the-bank Follow

Yeah, you say this and conveniently ignore the socio-economic struggles that grasshoppers have been facing for the past century, many of these issues which were spearheaded by fly conservative politicians in office at the time.

So, yeah, it is rather hypocritical for you to pull out these cards when grasshoppers have also been punished and gotten the short end of the stick throughout bug history.

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

The implication that all flies are responsible for a few greedy politicians is quite comical, really. 🥱 Not to mention that many Grasshopper politicians in Bugland and Bugtopia have also had histories of introducing laws that have severely affected communities majorly made up of Flies. But sure, keep arguing with me about this, buddy. I got all day 🤣

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am still rubbing my hands and planing schemes btw

🪰 flythatlovestogethigh Follow

anyone smoke bug weed in this thread

#bugs #insects #long post

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angelltheninth · 11 months

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Spider-verse ask

The spiders picking up a call from HQ while in the middle of sex. Who plays it cool so nobody knows or who is obvious and gets called out or possibly something in between. Possibly a fem!reader or fun!reader

The interruptions lmao, always a good trope.

Pairing: Peter B. Parker, Miguel O'Hara, Noir x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, interrupted sex, dick riding, phone calls, embarrassment, table sex, quickie, creampie

A/N: Including Noir cause he was my favorite in the first movie.

Peter was thrusting hard from below you, you in his lap on a chair, about to come when the phone rang. He groaned as he reached over almost absentmindedly and gave you an apologetic smile. While he tries to reply very calmly you keep rolling your hips slowly in his lap, making him grunt at every other word, a wicked grin on your face all the while. He doesn't get caught because he uses the excuse of being really tired from superhero work and being a dad. And probably becoming a dad again if you keep riding him like that.

"Shh, calm down beautiful. I'll keep going as soon as I take the call. H-H-Hey! Oh uh... no its nothing! Stop, fuck. Mmmn. You little brat, making me sound like that, you need my cum that bad huh? Can't wait a few minutes, can't go without my cock making you pregnant."

Miguel has you spread out on his desk, legs locked around his hips, his claws and teeth leaving possessive marks on your smaller body while he finishes inside you again. You were just about to as well when the phone rang. Now he is not a selfish lover, he won't stop just for this, he'll get you there but you have to be quiet. Can't do it by yourself? Then suck on his fingers, bite them, bite his hand if you have to, but keep looking his way, at his cocky smirk as tears of pleasure well up in your eyes and you come while he's talking on the phone.

"That was close, almost got caught. Yeah, I think they know we were up to something in here but I was not gonna let this wonderful cunt of yours down, not when its worked so hard for me. We should clean up before they look for us though. C-Condoms? You want me to wear them? Ugh, but I like feel you. Okay, fine. But you owe me after. Whatever you want to do."

Noir is very careful when the two of you sneak off for a quickie. He barely gets the clothes off enough and you're already on him, his gloved hands grasping your thighs and pushing you against the wall. Who ever chose that time to call him has horrible timing and was he not such a good detective he would have hung up. Lucky for him he's very good at keeping quiet and keeping you quiet too, every time you moan he kisses you to silence it, pretending to ponder what's being asked of him. The moment the call ends he speeds up, he needs to make this fast, this was supposed to be fast, now he's been thrown off and he's a little upset actually.

"Apologies for that interruption darling, I'll make this quick. You are not helping by tightening up like that, I know you want my cum but... Damn, I really cannot hold back any longer, I'll make you come sweetheart, yes, come for me, let me get what I want, and then I'll give you so much it will leave a trail as you walk."

#peter b parker x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman noir x reader #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse imagine #spiderverse headcanon #spiderverse smut #peter b parker smut #miguel o'hara smut #spiderman noir smut #across the spiderverse #atsv x reader #atsv imagines #atsv headcanons #atsv smut #spiderverse peter b parker #spiderverse miguel #spiderverse noir

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seattlesellie · 9 months

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ok. can we talk about going with ellie to the mall because i think it would be… interesting.

(fluff ‘n a little bit of smut so mdni! 🎀 also wrote this ages ago and it’s so bad so excuse me!!! and reader is v fem)

౨ৎ when it comes to ellie williams— i believe she will throughly let you walk her like a dog. quite literally following you around the shops hand in hand— to the point where you’re merely dragging her around. at first, she’d be super chill and relaxed, but one hour later after seeing you try on the same dress three times already— she’d start groaning on and on. “babe… do we really have to go fucking zara again?”, when you tell her that you just regret not buying a certain top, she’d be so adorably pissed off, her eyebrows all furrowed together, just thoroughly confused. she would probably want to stop and eat some food every 5 seconds. “zara… or mcdonalds” ,weighing the two options on her hands and clearly placing the mcdonalds option way higher.

౨ৎ if there’s an arcade— you know her ass is fully stopping in her tracks, begging you to come and play some games with her. obviously, you oblige, because she’s giving you the biggest and cutest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen, and maybe she’d stupidly jump up when you say yes. she ends up beating you in every single game— and it's so painfully obvious that she’s been there about 17 times already.

“ellie, you’re only winning because you’re here every single day. you’re like a totallll loser” you defend, after she’d been gloating about her winning streak for 5 minutes straight. unsurprisingly, she just denies it.

“i swear— ive never been here before, babe”

“els, be honest” you warn.

“okay— been here like once with jesse”

“once?”

“once… plus like five” and at that— she turns around, and places her hand behind her back, so you can intertwine it with yours. she’s sooo beating you in bowling.

౨ৎ while you’re browsing through clothes — shed be hugging you from behind tightly, as she kisses on your neck and silently begs for your attention.

“this skirts super cute, right?” you chirp, pointing at the plaid mini skirt and slowly tracing the soft fabric with the pads of your fingers.

ellie has her chaste lips right on your pulse point, and she’s barely even looking.

you pick it up, and she moves closer behind you with her hands still clinging on to your waist. “cute, right?” — you can feel ellie’s smile slowly form on your neck.

“yeah, babe… you’re very cute. thought you knew that already, though”

౨ৎ when you pull out two pieces from the rack (amethyst purple & floral purple) and ask her which color will fit you better, she just rolls her eyes and huffs. “babe… you cannot be serious they're the exact same”, to you, they are NOT. but ellie fully doesn’t get it at all.

౨ৎ put her in a gamestop— and it’s like she won the lottery. browsing through the different controllers, now its your turn to tease and tell her they’re all the exact same. put her in a NINTENDO shop and its literally over. her eyes are twinkling and sparkling, and shes borderline skipping through the store trying to find cool figurines. when she sees a bowser plushie (her mariokart main, duh) she picks it out so fast, and then tries to find you a plushie too— a princess peach or a kirby or whatever you want. she goes to pay, and when you leave the store with your two adorable new plushies inside the bag— ellie fully side eyes you. she has something to say, and you know it. she sighs deeply— “think theyre fucking in there?”

“if they’re anything like us… theyre fucking in there— oh my god, babe… bowsers humping her ass, look” —

she’s literally moving them inside the bag.

౨ৎ okay, so you’re done paying at zara (with her credit card but let’s not… talk about it), ellie left about 15 minutes ago because she was tired of looking at the clothes and she said that place looks like a mental asylum. you’re walking out of the shop with the bags in your hands, and you see her sitting on one of the random mall couches with a random grey haired middle aged man. weirdly, they seem to be in the midst of an incredibly intense conversation. you twist your face because what the fuck and;

“waiting for the wife, huh?” she asks him, manspreading on the chair with her hands resting on her thighs. they’re both staring at the store’s entrance, both sighing heavily. “that i am…” the old man huffs, and ellie chuckles to herself. “me too man… me too”

౨ৎ five minutes later — you find them talking about fucking bathroom tiles.

“i told her i wasn’t going to do marble— but she fucking insisted on it”

you walk a little closer, and ellie is still heavily rambling about floor stuff (?) you have absolutely no clue about.

“els…? ready to go?” you chirp, smiling warmly at the stranger. “gimme a sec” ellie looks at you from the corner of her eye, and keeps going. they’re exchanging numbers because they need to start thinking about how to build a new patio, and he has some “awesome fucking tips, man”

౨ৎ ellie places her hand on your shoulder as you’re walking away, and squeezes. “he was such a cool dude” she remarks, with a stupidly dumb, satisfied smile.

“ellie… he was like, sixty five”

“so? we bonded, babe” she shrugs.

“about floor tiles?” you ask her, and she begins rubbing little circles on your shoulder as you both stray further away from the shop.

“amongst other things” ellie chews on the inside of her cheek. should she say it?

“what things?” you smile sheepishly at your girlfriend, who’s seemingly nervous for some reason.

“you know… his wife…” she bites her cheek even harder now. she should definitely not say it. “my wife” okay— there it is.

her wife.

ten whole seconds of absolute radio silence pass. ellie thinks she might have said too much, but ellie doesn’t know you’re fighting for your life trying to hold on to your tears that are threatening to erupt.

her wife.

“you’re proposing here then, i assume?” you’re trying not to sound emotional, trying not to sound like your hearts about to burst out of your chest and start doing cartwheels on the malls pavement.

“nah… definitely somewhere way classier. like… bora bora, or the food court”

“food court?”

ellie has to stop. ellie has to stop and hold your hand.

“yeah… so i can hide the ring inside your burger n’shit. then you like… choke on it, then i save you… then not only am i a fuckin’ hero, i also get to like… marry the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen. and she has to say yes—” there’s no point in swallowing down your toothy smile now. “cause like… i saved her life, y’know?” as much as ellie’s joking, ellie’s cheeks are burning up.

“will you… say yes, though?” she balances her weight from leg to leg, and averts her gaze. mmhm— what an interesting sign!

the way you place your hand on the back of her neck and kiss her hard— that’s definitely a yes.

ellie won’t propose to you in the food court, though. in fact, she has this elaborate plan she has been thinking since about a month into your relationship. that, you’ll never guess.

౨ৎ mall ellie is ALL pda. she doesn’t let go of your hand like ever and constantly needs little kisses on the cheek. she bought you a cute new top? kiss on the cheek. cute dress? kiss on the cheek and on the nose. she doesn’t want you to say your thank you’s, she’d much rather you show them.

౨ৎ when you’re at a lingerie shop… suddenly she comes fully alive. its literally as if someone infused her with seven shots of caffeine and she can’t seem to be able to stop handing you different bra’s, panties, and sexy little nightgowns.

“that’ll look so fucking hot on you” & hands you the sluttiest thong youve ever seen. “that— will drive me fucking crazy” & hands you a sheer bra she can imagine your nipples poking out of.

“wanna eat you out in that” as she hands you a little nightgown and you’re like “ELLIE!” and slap her arm her because a 60 year old woman literally just heard her and looked like she was about to have an aneurysm.

“actually— wanna eat you out in that… and in that too… and in that— oh my god look baby they’re crotchless” wiggling her eyebrows and swaying the fabric in the air.

౨ৎ obviously… she wants you to model them for her. it’s funny, how she didn’t give a fuck when you tried a cardigan on or a hat or saw a cute purse, but now she’s demanding to go inside the dressing room with you and stare you down in the mirror like a perv. she watches you strip out of your clothes and you purposely do it extra slowly, taking your time removing the bra… and now, she’s just leaping out of her sit.

“nope— doing that for you…” she unclasps it, stands behind you and immediately gropes your tits. she gives you sweet little kitten licks and kisses on the neck, whilst maintaining full eye contact with her hands on your boobs from the mirror, and you can’t help but whimper when she takes your hardening nipples between her fingers and rolls them in her thumb. “ellie… were in public” you hiss, bucking your ass onto her crotch.

“we’re not in public, were in a dressing room…” she whispers, like she knows best.

“plus, i gotta test these little panties out… s’for you, y’know?”

ellie makes you sit on her lap to watch it up close, until she’s fully satisfied and is sure that they fit just right, and that she can see herself peeling them off of you. “give me a little wiggle, babe”, she rasps, as her hands roam over your naked waist.

“a wiggle?” you giggle, and burry your face in the crook of her neck.

“like… grind yourself up against me. gotta test the fabric, make sure you’re… comfortable” and— of course you do. you grind yourself up against her thigh until you forget what you even came to the mall for.

ellie’s eyes are fixated on you, taking in your little silent whimpers as you “test the panties” out.

“think… fuck— think we gotta buy them now… soaked ‘em all up, huh?” ellie pants, as she helps you grind your body back and forth. when ellie looks down on her thigh, truly just to watch how your pussy lips swallow the drenched material, ellie comes to an extra conclusion as well. there’s a sticky wet patch, almost heart shaped, over her denim jeans.

“shit… babe, look at that mess…”, she holds you by the back of your neck, and guides your head down. “mhm… gotta buy me some new jeans” your breath cages inside your throat as you begin to stutter, “sorry, el… didn’t mean to”

“oh fuck no… it’s… shit— so fuckin’ hot”

anyways, mall ellie is a menace.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x you

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luvhughes43 · 5 months

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I BEG! BEG FOR SOME hughes!sister x Nico Au

Where Jack find out about them by accident, and Jacks like “You’re my sister, and THIS is what you do to me?”

PLEASE ITS A NEED

i’m so happy that u like the au!!🫶

Dawsons the one to break the news to Jack. they’re sitting on his coach, both scrolling on their phones and gossiping with each other.

“crazy how Blake and Nico are dating eh?” Dawson says, his newfie accent thick as he pauses on the newest photo on his instagram feed.

Jack chuckles, “man what are you talking about”. he tosses his phone beside him on the couch and leans back, not believing for a second that his twin would be dating his captain.

“Nico and Blake?” Dawson continues cluelessly. he scrolls through Blake's photos, stopping at a very obvious pic of her and Nico with his silhouette cropped out. Dawson tilts his phone towards Jack.

“you’re fucking lying,” Jack gasps, sitting up from his position and taking hold of Dawsons phone.

“you didn’t know..?” Dawson’s so confused… the relationship between their captain and the Hughes sister was very obvious to everyone near the couple.

Jack shoots up out of his seat and quickly pockets his phone as he rushes out his goodbyes to Dawson.

“you’re my sister and THIS is what you do to me?” Jack shouts, storming into Blake's quiet apartment. she looks up from her book to see a fuming Jack in her entrance way.

“what…. did i do?”

“my captain?? you’re screwing my captain!” he shouts again, tugging on his hair as he walks through her apartment.

when he starts pacing, Blake's anxiety grows.

“i didn’t… i’m not-“

“don’t lie to me,” Jack bites, whipping around to face a shell shocked Blake.

Blake stares at her twin, anxious tears threatening her eyesight as she rushes out an apology. “i’m so sorry Jack. I know it’s wrong but we’re adults and he’s so-“ she gasps, “he’s so sweet and-“ she gasps again, tears winning their battle and steaming down her face.

“don’t cry about it” Jack scuffs, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it in this moment Blake being upset always made him upset. he walks over to his sister, sitting quietly on the floor in front of her spot on the couch. he stares straight ahead, stewing in his own upset while also letting Blake know that they’re going to work it out.

truly though, this was so damn annoying for Jack. out of everyone, her sister would choose his captain? he sighed.

“i’m sorry” Blake whispers again, nudging Jack's shoulder with her fist.

“it’s whatever” Jack sighs, all of his energy being drained from his earlier outburst.

the twins sit in silence for a while, before Jack starts up again.

“oh my god is that why you have his jersey sitting in your closet?” he gasps, turning to face his sister.

“how do you know about that!”

Jack blinks at her, “you force me to bring you sweaters when you’re cold, what are you talking about?”

“okay well-“

“oh my god!” he continues. “that’s why you were fuming that night of the wag party… you were jealous that he was talking to somebody else!”

“okay i’m happy that you kind of moved on from your anger but we really don’t have to go through all-“

“BROO!!! that’s why Nico was asking me about your favourite things??? he said he just wanted to know your coffee order to make you feel better but he liked you!” Jack gasps, shifting himself so that he was laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling.

Blake blushes at Jacks retelling. “Nicos so sweet,”

“ugh,” Jack groans loudly and dramatically. he thrashes around on the ground, before settling and staring up at his sister. “don’t say any of that shit to me,”

“I thought you were cool with us now!” Blake protests.

“no,” Jack states. “after that comment i take it all back”

“that was innocent though?” Blake laughs at Jack's struggle. he looked like he was in pain.

before Jack has the chance to say anything, Blake’s phone rings and she happily answers. she puts it on speaker and Nicos voice blares through the phone loud and clear. “hey babe!”

“UGH,” Jack groans.

“Jack?” Nico is immediately panicking thinking that he’d just blown their cover.

“he knows,” Blake responds for Jack, who hides his face in his hands.

“this is disgusting” Jack mutters.

“you told him?” Nico asks, completely bypassing Jack's comment.

“no,” Blake responds before turning to Jack. “wait… how did you find out?”

“Dawson,” Jacks voice is muffled behind his hands.

“Dawson knows?” Nico questions in disbelief.

“I guess we’re not too discreet,” Blake chuckles, causing another loud groan to rip through Jack.

#blake hughes au #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier fic #nico hischier blurb #nhl imagine #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes x reader #hughes!sister

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webslingingslasher · 6 months

Note

heyyy I was just wondering WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PUT IN THIS FRAT!PETER FICS BC I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT TROUBLE AND PETER! I just melt for them together😭😩❤️

I swear when I'm about to fall sleep he just pops into my head and HAVE to grab my phone to reread some of them. Your writing is just soooo god and I wanted to thank you for creating such a work of art🥵🥵🥵

Also I can't stop thinking about frat!peter being jealous like finding a guy talking who hooked up with trouble and overthinking how different they are from each other? and if the ex fling keeps trying to talk with trouble in a friendly way, he would play it cool? i feel like he would look at them talking and he knows about what happen between them but is kinda nervous? idk

I LOVED BRUJA THANK YOU SO MUCH I HAVEN'T ENJOY READING LIKE THIS IN SOOO LONG🥹🥹🥹

first, peter and trouble are crack. second, thank you very much for enjoying!!!

---

peter knows what it looks like to awkwardly chat with an old hookup, he’s done it more than a few times. so, when he watches your eyes dance around the room while you politely laugh in response to the guy in front of you, he just knows.

he’s taller than peter, and he’s not one to be self conscious about his height, but he might now. and he’s got bigger biceps, peter’s spider-man and doesn’t have the build this guy does.

and he’s got nice hair. really nice hair. the kind of hair he knows you love. it’s like peters, but longer and a bit more curly. peter pats the hair on the back of his neck, he’s been growing it a little longer, but apparently not enough.

in a desperate attempt to keep your attention on him tonight, he takes his hat off to throw it on top of the fridge. you always beg him to take it off, it’ll work. he’s sure of it.

it doesn’t. you’re unable to stand still, if he was projecting, he’d say you went from awkward to uncomfortable. peter’s not going to be the guy to barge in, but he takes a step forward, just in case.

it’s like you can feel him, your eyes shoot to his across the room. no words are said or mouthed, but your eyes said enough. ‘help.’ its all he needs.

peter cuts the guy right off, slinging an arm low around your waist. a kiss to your temple, ‘hi, trouble.’ you relax into his touch, you hold on tight to his arm. ‘have you met tanner?’

he hasn’t, and he really doesn’t care to. it looks like tanner doesn’t either, they’re both sizing each other up. peter’s putting on a brave face, but he knows tanner's thinking he’s no competition, and peter can’t help but feel the same.

still, he throws a hand out. ‘sup, man. i’m parker.’ tanner shakes it, ‘sup.’ peter holds his hand a bit too tight, he’s trying to subtly prove that even if he was smaller, he could kick his ass if needed.

tanner asked peter how he knew you, he had to bite his tongue on the disrespect. he knew exactly how peter knew you, his possessive hold tells it all. ‘i’m her boyfriend.’

you dig your nails into his arm, you were caught off guard with the statement. he said it like it was obvious, tanner smirked. ‘ah, lucky man.’ peter really doesn’t like his face.

‘yup. sure am.’ you nudge back against him, peter takes it as a hint to get out of there. he couldn’t agree more. ‘wanna get a drink?’ you nod quick, 'yes, please.'

your 'boyfriend' made a small show of spinning you in his hold, you laughed at the twirl and balanced yourself on his shoulders. 'nice seeing you again,' you forgot who you were with for a second.

'you too, tanner! have a good night.' peter nudged your lower back to get you walking, you didn't make it four steps until you were pulled in for a bruising kiss. every thought melted away, there was only one person on your mind.

'peter,' it puffed out, just like your lips.

'trouble,' he said it like a greeting. you shook your head, leaning in for another, you were lucky tonight, he supplied.

'thanks, boyfriend.'

'that was a typo.'

you scoff. 'no it wasn't, that was you acting like you have one foot up so you don't feel as threatened.'

the choice of words make his skin crawl. peter knows it's not exclusive, exclusive. but he at least thought you both were on a similar page, one that didn't include saying 'so you don't feel as threatened.'

'what the fuck is that supposed to mean, trouble? so i don't feel as threatened? i was doing you a favor, but feel free to go entertain whoever you want, i'll do the same.'

peter's sudden aggression had your head spinning, you tried to grab onto his arm before he left you entirely. 'did i say the wrong thing? i didn't mean to say the wrong thing!'

'i didn't feel threatened until you said i should be. i just really don't like being reminded that i'm a choice you can change your mind on at any time, it's not a good feeling.'

sometimes when he says something to that effect, you want to tell him he could do something about it. sometimes, you let it go and remind him you're not looking for anyone else, if you were, you would've stopped putting up with his shit ages ago.

this is one of the times you put his fears at bay.

'look, peter, that guy, tanner? he's all talk, he seems like some cool guy but he really kind of sucks. in the least commitive way possible, boyfriend, there are no threats.'

'you keep talking about threats.'

'cause you have none!' you exhale deeply, 'i don't like anyone else, okay? and talking to other guys makes me wanna bash my head into a brick wall.'

'you talking to other guys also makes me want to bash my head into a brick wall.'

you grin and smooth out a wrinkle on peter's shirt. 'good, we're on the same page, then.'

peter throws an arm around your shoulder while he guides you to the kitchen.

'i'll deny it if you say anything, but i quite like reading at the same pace as you, trouble.'

#peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #frat!peter drabbles #tasm!peter x reader

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factual-fantasy · 9 months

Text

Happy 1st Birthday Jangles!!

This post was originally going to be a humongous comic filled with lore, goofs, and even a bit of angst? 👀 And then have a funny/wholesome ending. Just like Bibi’s birthday comic.

But.. I ran into a problem. I didn’t know what to get for Jangles.

For Bibi’s present it was obvious what to get him. He wanted a real friend. Bringing Jangles to life was perfect and really tied the whole comic together.

But Jangles? What does he want?

I wracked my brain for days. And when I finally thought of an idea? I only had 8 days left to make it happen. Sketch the comic out on paper, sketch it again in digital, line it, color it, backgrounds, dialogue.. I also had to make the actual present so that its picture could be used in the comic. All while having a very busy schedule for this week AND while working on Moon Malfunction..

I thought I could pull it off. So I got to sketching right away.

The comic would start with me in a big black blob. Locking myself away to try and get this project done as fast as possible. You know, like a total drama queen XD

Bibi and Jangles break in, and Bibi tries to talk to me but I ignore him. Meanwhile Jangles goes over to this goopy present by the wall. The present has a tag with Jangles name on it. As he goes to open it I do a spoopy jump scare and tell him not to. Jangles and I then proceed to go back and fourth. “Why not?” Because its not good enough yet. “I’m sure its fine, what is it? What’s it for?” I cant tell you what its for because its not that day yet. “What is that day? And why cant we know about it?” “BECAUSE, its a S E C R E T-”

Bibi then says I need a break. I tell him I cant because I’m running out of time. I tell him that it needs to be posted on a specific day and that it has to be perfect but I don’t know what to do..

Jangles then deadpans “Its my birthday isn’t it?”

“...Yes. It is.”

“Okay? So what? I get wanting to post it on the day. But why all this pressure for the perfect gift?”

I explain that Bibi got a big special comic for his birthday. It had all the bells and whistles and it had the perfect gift. Jangles. And I wanted to do the same for him. I explained that the problem though was I haven’t really written enough of Jangles character to know what he would want.. I then wrote for Jangles response to be,

“Well what I dont want is you stressing yourself out over me.”

..I stopped sketching the comic at that point. I realized that I was stressing myself out way too much over this comic. It was 1 in the morning at that point. I was already pushing myself so hard to get this done on time and make it perfect that all the fun was just zapped right out of it.

But I still worried a bit. I care about Jangles as my character and I wanted to do something cool for him. I wanted to post this at midnight on the dot, but that would require me to stay up until then when I’m still wiped out from the day before.. I also still wanted to get him a cool present.. But again I figured Jangles wouldn’t want me to stress over this “big comic” and “special gift” stuff. So I just settled for a break.

This entire post was prepared early, and posted when ever I was awake enough to post it. All the days beforehand I spent just taking my time with Moon Malfunction and focusing on my schedule. And on the day I’m posting it, I plan to draw nothing. Just relax and take a break from everything. I’ll get back around to all my projects tomorrow.

I think a post with minimal effort and day of no Tumblr, is probably exactly what Jangles would have wanted. So Happy Birthday Jangles! And thanks for the day off! XD

#bibi and jangles #my original stuff #Happy Birthday Jangles!

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actualbird · 10 months

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who in the nxx yells “THERE’S A BUG” and who removes the bug, and how?

HELP HAHAHAKHVFAHSF THIS IS A LOVELY PROMPT, THANK U FOR THIS!!!

those who yell "THERES A BUG": marius and mc

now im not saying both of them are particularly squeamish, no no, they can definitely keep it cool when the situation Calls For It. that being said, seeing a bug in the nxx meeting room on a slow day isnt exactly the most high stakes of situations, so the most High Stakes Element remains to be whatever bug they see

mc just doesnt like bugs, theyre creepy theyre crawly and she doesnt trust anything that can dart out of her line of vision in the blink of an eye

marius also doesnt like bugs and because of his upbringing, he did not get to see very many of them growing up. which means every time he Did see a Bug Intruder, it's like a Category 5 Drama Moment

the moment they see the bug, theyre announcing it LOUDLY to everybody else in the room while also getting up to stand on some chairs

those who dont yell "THERES A BUG" but does look at the bug and track its every movement while sitting still like a statue hoping the bug doesnt notice him, as if bugs operate on some kind of t-rex knowledge: artem

let's rewind a bit. before marius and mc saw the bug, artem saw it first. and he just

didnt say anything about it

artem.....Also Does Not Like Bugs. but he also also doesnt like being loud about things he doesnt like so he just Sits There, so still you'd think he fucking died, and he hopes the bug mistakes him for some kind of inanimate man-shaped furniture and avoids him due to sheer disinterest

it doesnt avoid him.

it probably crawls or flies very close to him a few times the only thing that stops him from screaming "THERES A BUG" is his self-control thats as hard as cast-iron skillet

it's fine though because marius and mc spot it and sound the alarm

(thank god)

those who remove the bug: luke and vyn

luke and vyn are the ones who will both 1) be completely unbothered by the bug and 2) have to bring it out

the reason for luke is obvious, he's had wilderness survival training and probably had to eat bugs like in an episode of Man VS Wild to survive on an uninhabited island, so hes REALLY past any squeamishness with bugs. in fact, if mc said the word, luke would grab the bug and crush it with his bare hands

and vyn is a gardener!!! bugs are APLENTY in the garden, so he sees them not as malevolent but as important creatures in a healthy ecosystem. the bug probably got in from vyn's garden, actually, since nxx hq is on his property

and thus

The Timeline Of Events When a Bug Appears In The NXX HQ Meeting Room

bug: //crawls in

artem: //sees it, soul leaves his body for a bit and he petrifies himself as a defense mechanism

mc: why did artem go so still

marius: i dont know, maybe hes rebooting?

mc: dont be mean!

marius: im not being mea---FUCK

mc: what?

marius: THERES A BUG

mc: theres a wha---THERES A BUG

marius and mc: //immediately moving to stand on the couch

artem: //still Not Moving, hoping that mc and marius' sudden movements attract it

bug: //flexes wings open and closed

mc: NNNNO NO NO NO

marius: STOP DOING THAT MOTHERFUCKER

mc: NONONNONONONNNONONNOONONOONOO

marius: AAAAAAAAAA

vyn and luke, coming back in from where they were in the file room: ???

mc: THERES A BUG THERES A BUG

luke: oh. do you want me to kill it?

mc: NO!!

marius: YES!!!!!!

artem: i havent moved in 20 minutes

mc: JUST BRING IT OUT

luke: dead or alive?

mc: ALIVE

marius: DEAD

vyn, while they were all conversing: //gently coaxes the bug onto his palm and lets it out through the window

vyn's rationale here was that luke was doing a great job at handling (i.e. distracting) the People, so he went ahead and took care of the Bug. the bug will not be returning to the nxx meeting room because it was quite cold with no soil and also VERY loud

#just ur regular nxx team shenanigans.....puzzle minigame event where this is the plot and all the puzzles are the reactions to The Bug HAHA #asks #tears of themis #marius von hagen #artem wing #luke pearce #vyn richter #tot rosa #anon

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cyber-clown · 11 months

Text

zubat is one of my favourite pokémon and, because it is one of my favourite pokémon, i've used it in every single generation i've played where it's available. this has led me to notice that you can kind of use zubat to track game freak's evolving design ethos with the pokémon series allll the way from gen 1 through to gen 9.

so if you don't know, zubat is a funny poison/flying bat pokémon. you can usually get it pretty early on in caves, usually sometime around the first gym. in gen 1 this is mt moon, gen 3 gives you zubats in granite cave right around the (mostly optional btw???) 2nd gym, gen 4 gives you them the moment you get to jubilife city, etc. it evolves into golbat at level 22, which doubles zubat's stats and lets it learn screech. golbat is a funny guy and i like him. don't know why they made him grow eyes though.

point is, they're common and you get them early, so it's a pokémon that is very easy to slot into your team as a decent flying type with better utility and defenses (being a poison type) than your average earlygame bird shitter. they're also vaguely menacing if you're insane i guess so they're evil team fodder. ok. we know what zubat is now.

GEN 1: in gen 1, zubat's design is insane. early pokémon games are shocking well put together - for the bad rep they sometimes get for having a handful of prominent glitches, it's actually a testiment to the games that they just keep trucking through these insane edge cases rather than crashing. unfortunately, the design itself is... primitive. they had a smash hit but definitely hadn't fully found their footing. let's look at zubat's moveset.

oh god! so, you would think this is a case of some kind of "first stage evolution syndrome" where zubat has a terrible, limited movepool that gets fixed when it evolves. gen 1 REALLY likes this gimmick: just off the top of my head this is the exact deal of abra and magikarp. unfortunately, no. the only damaging moves zubat learns before it evolves are leech life, a 20 base power (THIS IS LOW) move of a relatively weak offensive type, and bite. bite is fine. bite will hit most types except rock and ghost, and its power is fine. other than that, it just learns supersonic and a slightly less terrible version of supersonic.

then the insane thing: it learns wing attack at level 28. golbat learns it at level 32. it evolves at level 22. this creates an interesting dichotomy where on one hand you REALLY want to evolve zubat to golbat, given that it literally doubles its base stat total when evolving, but on the other that means you'll be waiting a full 10 levels from evolving to learn its only STAB move (in pokémon, pokémon get a 1.5x multipler to a move's damage if its the same type as that pokémon). said move only having 35 power. gen 1 is strange. i think this really shows the design philosophy of gen 1: everything is new, most things are weak, the balance is all over the place, you have to purposefully stop your funny bat from evolving for 6 levels just for it to learn a terrible flying type move that it can use for coverage. every other move it learns is either normal type or has <= 40 power. why.

GEN 2: gen 2 is the generation of "ok that was pretty good but had some pretty major flaws. let's try to fix them." gen 2 is kind of defined by how closely tied it is to gen 1. zubat is a great example of this. first of all the obvious thing: zubat gets a new evolution! if your golbat has high friendship and levels up, it will evolve into crobat. crobat gives the line about a hundred more stats (mostly to speed, with everything else getting a little peppering) and is maybe the funniest of all guys, his design being both cute, silly, and cool is maybe why i like the zubat line so much

so what changes for zubat and its family in gen 2? three things of note! 1. more TMs to learn, giving it more tools to play with, including the new steel type move steel wing. 2. bite has been changed to a dark type move, giving the noble zubat more type coverage including the ability to hit ghost types and psychic types (who are normally strong against poison types) for double damage. 3. wing attack's power has been increased to 60 (almost doubled!) and it's level to be learnt lowered to... 27. 1 level!

(from this point forward i'm not going to screenshot the TM learnset. i'll try to keep describing them, though)

also, the level requirement for bite has been moved to level 12, and it learns mean look at... level 36. ok so, yeah, not fixing the pokémon, but definitely some improvements here. you could actually reasonably recommend zubat to a friend or family member now if they particularly like its silly funny design

GEN 3: it's a new generation... literally. pokémon is now in FULL COLOUR and SYNTHESIZED SOUND on the GAMEBOY ADVANCE. pokémon is now fully establishing itself not just as a couple games and spinoffs, but a full on series that will ostensibly stick around between generations of games, generations of consoles, even generations of people.

so, yeah. this ain't your daddy's pokémon, he played pokémon red as a 7 year old but he's a full blown 13 year old now... much too cool to play these baby games. ...oh shit wait, every pokémon has an ability now? damn, nevermind, this rules! that's what i assume game companies think people will think when they do Big Spin Ups for a New Generation. i don't know if it DID convince a generation of millenium tweens that funny animal game is still cool, but the changes are appreciated anyway. steven stone is hot! i don't have anywhere else to say that. anyway, how did zubat change?

our friend zubat gets lots of changes to keep up with the crowd now. bite has been moved back up to level 16, but zubat now gets astonish - a decent ghost type move that can flinch opponents, air cutter (this used to be TM only) - a slightly weaker and less accurate flying type move than wing attack, but one with an increased critical hit ratio AND it can hit multiple opponents in new-fangled double battles, and poison fang - finally allowing zubat to unlock its poison type STAB... if you either don't let your zubat evolve for 19 levels or, more realistically, teach it to your crobat at level 49... ouch! but, the biggest of them all: your zubat can now learn wing attack before it evolves! ...1 level before it evolves, but before it evolves!

in addition, zubat's family got a new ability - inner focus: this lets them not get flinched. not that out there, but it's a welcome change! the line also gets a few more TMs unlocked, including coverage options like shadow ball, and the extremely powerful sludge bomb. you can really, finally, genuinely use zubat now! it's actually okay! it being a friendship-evolved pokémon is also ideal for one you pick up early game - you can usually evolve your zubat around the early level 30s, giving it a big stat boost earlier than a lot of other pokémon.

GEN 4: gen 4 is strange. it's a huge shift in the series, but it's also actually pretty similar to gen 3. it stays pretty true to the series roots, but also moves the ball in a way that would keep going and eventually mark what is effectively an entire change in identity for pokémon. steven stone is in heartgold and soul silver (yay!). gen 4 also cements gen 3 as the only generation of pokémon ever (so far) to be the only one on its console.

we're making good progress here! wing attack can be learned even earlier, at level 17, meaning you should get it just in time for the grass type gym leader, bite has been reverted to being learned at level 13, and air cutter / poison fang have had the time you need to hold a zubat before they can be learned significantly turned down. if you do happen to hold your zubat until level 41, poison fang's spot has been usurped by air slash, a strong special move (gen 4 split all moves into physical and special, where before they were split between the attack / special attack stats by type) that has a 30% chance of flinching an opponent. zubat's physical stats may be better than its special stats, but only by a little bit, so this is a welcome option! zubat also gets a couple more good TMs, like U-Turn, a really strong move that lets zubat deal some damage and then swap with a teammate to hopefully avoid taking retaliation! anyway that's it really, just little steps!

GEN 5: here it is, the big one… the one that changed it all… just joking! infact, zubat didn't get a single move change in Pokémon Black and White, as it wasn't available to catch at all in that game! instead, it was replaced by the spiritual successors woobat and swoobat, cute fluffy psychic / flying types with little heart shaped noses - they even keep the theme of a closed pair of eyes opening up when evolved! i like swoobat's terrible, fleshy heart tail, too!

anyway, zubat was revived in Pokémon Black 2 and White 2, whereupon it did actually receive a moveset update. it's not a very big one, but it's appreciated!

so, the pre-evolution options of astonish, bite, and wing attack have been moved a little further back, while players who wait a little bit are now able to learn the moves swift (a normal type move that never misses), and acrobatics (a move that has its damage doubled if your pokémon doesn't hold an item). cool stuff! air cutter, poison fang, and air slash have all been moved back a little bit. maybe this could be to disincentivise holding a pokémon that can evolve to learn moves, since this puts it much more in line with crobat:

who knows? anyway! the other noticeable changes are the additions of a couple more TMs like venoshock (all TMs being infinite use now, so you don't have to worry about wasting a TM anymore!), a poison type move that doubles in damage if the target is poisoned (finally, more love for zubat's poison type!) and the hidden ability of infiltrator.

what an unhelpful piece of flavour text! infiltrator is an ability that lets zubat ignore the effects of "barrier" type moves, which are moves that provide resistance or immunity to certain effects (such as physical damage, status effects, and debuffs). later on, this will be buffed to let zubats with infiltrator hit through substitutes, and even later will be buffed again to reduce wild encounters!

GEN 6: here's the real big one. gen 5 marked a distinct change in direction for pokémon as a series: a grander story, bold new characters, and a focus more on a journey that felt more like a hero's quest to prove themselves, rather than some random kid's uphill battle to get stronger. gen 6 took the new generation and made some bold decisions: now we have 3D models, and crazy plotlines, and fully arranged streamed music, and... much easier gameplay! well, easy is not the right word. pokemon games have always been kid friendly - but later games definitely try their best to streamline the experience. it feels a lot more like a power fantasy of a rise to glory, where previous games distinctly... did not. is this good or bad? well, it's all just taste! we all have our taste.

zubat received its major changes, again, in the second set of games of this generation: omega ruby and alpha sapphire. a step back to hoenn, including our good friend zubat!

woah! can you believe this is even the same friend zubat we met all the way back in 1996? i'm so proud of him... well, what major changes are there? here's an easy two: venoshock is now a move zubat learns naturally, and almost every move has been substantially reduced in level up requirement! bite at level 11? wing attack at level 13? it feels like just yesterday we had to fight tooth and nail to keep bite at level 13! poison fang down by 12 levels to level 25, and so on. the big one here is that air cutter is now a move you can learn before even evolving zubat, giving you another flying type option! what could be awaiting us next, in the sunny alola region?

GEN 7: i like gen 7 :) i also don't know what preamble to give here. well, other than: gen 6 began the trend of adding a new "gimmick" every generation. these stick around for one generation, can only be used once per game, and provide some Big Flashy Effect. mega evolution was gen 6's, but that was restricted to a few specific pokémon (mainly fan favourites, no love for great pokémon like crobat... grr...) but gen 7 changed this: now any pokémon can use a Z-Power!!! once per game, a single move can be transformed into a powerful Z-Move, that does huge damage. this means our friend zubat can join the show. will it use a poison Z-Move, or a flying Z-Move, or maybe a random coverage move, like ghost or steel?

um... what's going on here? zubat's lost leech life! well, look again. the iconic Zubat Move is still in its learnset, but it's now been QUADRUPLED in to 80 power, so it's been moved up and replaced with absorb as zubat's starting move. absorb is still stuck at 20 power. poor absorb. that's probably what it gets for being cousins with mega drain AND giga drain. crobat gets to learn cross poison on evolve now, a powerful poison type move that has an increased critical hit rate AND a chance to poison. other than these, zubat's learnset has not changed in any noticeable way. i guess that's a sign game freak has settled on a moveset to stay for our friend zubat!

GEN 8:

what on earth happened here? where is zubat's iconic wing attack? leech life at level 55? well, generation 8, you see, represents a big shakeup for the pokémon series. the series has OFFICIALLY jumped from handhelds to the home console, and so naturally that leads to a very different design philosophy - including the removal of lots of moves from the game entirely, and the barring of some pokémon from entry to the region! zubat gets to stay, though, and its reward is an entirely retooled moveset. what can we make of this?

well, first of all, supersonic has been recognised as an Iconic Zubat Move after 20 years of proud service, being officially made a move zubat gets right out of the egg. it still sucks, but that's cool! wing attack and bite have been replaced with poison fang, retooling zubat to put the early focus on its poison typing: to this day zubat and its family are actually the only poison / flying type pokémon! air cutter has been pushed back above the "evolve threshold", where it joins a bunch of other iconic Zubat Moves. bite and leech life now languish, as moves that probably nobody will ever actually hold their zubat to learn, given it's only a couple extra levels for golbat / crobat to learn them. speaking of crobat, it's worth mentioning...

crobat has a whole lot of tools to work with now! it's very clear they really wanted to play with crobat's unique role as a poison / flying type here by focusing a lot more on its Poisonous Traits - toxic, cross poison, and venoshock are all very fun tools you can play with that crobat gets access to with ease. what a treat! the number of TMs crobat can learn is also huge, with plenty of coverage across a bunch of types. now for gen 9!

GEN 9:

oh zubat! you should have known that DUI would give you consequences. well, yes. this is zubat's journey so far. but i think that i've proven my point - you can distinctly see a shift from the early game pokémon design philosophy to newer games.

personally, i would describe this as going from the games being an "uphill battle to prove yourself" to a "journey across the land with your favourites". it's clear that, over time, there have been attempts to try and make a lot of pokémon more viable, so that if zubat is your favourite too you can pick it up and have it be useful almost right away, rather than its earlier role as a pokémon that takes a long time to get going but eventually gets tools that make it a lot more usable. i think this shows pokémon's shift to being more about the pokémon themselves rather than the journey, which is a safe decision that's probably made because every pokémon is somebody's favourite.

this has no real point by the way - i personally don't actually mind the newer direction of pokémon games (aside from the EXP share always being on...) and have enjoyed plenty of relatively modern pokémon games a lot - i really rememeber loving pokémon moon when it came out! but i do also enjoy the different "vibe" and experience of older pokémon games, and i think sometimes the best way to actually describe the differences is to just lay out them out, plain to see.

anyway, i hope you enjoyed and, next time you're in a dark cave, consider holding off on the repels. you might just meet your new best friend forever!

#pokemon #pokémon #can you tell i'm autistic #also i didnt add a keep reading to this because i thought itd be funny #do you love the color of the zubat #zubat #golbat #crobat

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ioniansunsets · 6 months

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who in heartsteel would be willing to get matching piercings with reader 👉👈 and if so, where? 👁️👅👁️

[[Yes yes I have piercings I know licking them is bad but its sexy ok we close our eyes. Also I stopped writing NSFW like 10 years ago but this is tempting me to return..............deleted content in the comments.]]

✖ Heartsteel Matching Piercings ✖

Yone would get a tongue piercing with you. Sneaky smiles hidden under his cool collected exterior. Eyes narrowing, a smug smirk as he sticks his tongue out at you from across the room, the metal but a small teasing glimmer. No one else in Heartsteel knows about it. Just you. A very, interesting little secret between you two. In private Yone would also really like to delicately run his thumb across your lower lip, pulling it down just a little, voice low and soft as he asks you to stick out your tongue for him as he checks on how it is healing. Yone would then smile to himself as he looks at you and your matching piercing before pulling you in for a passionate kiss and enjoying the feeling of your piercing hitting his as your tongues intertwine.

Ezreal would get a naval piercing. He already has piercings all over his ears. But his tummy is sensitive and if you go with him. Run your hands up and down his abs. Ask nicely. Alright. He'll do it with you. A blush on his face as he gets a piercing with your colors while you get one with a green ball. He would pepper your tummy with little kisses, careful to avoid the freshly done piercing as his hands roam across your chest. Ezreal loves to see your exposed midriff as much as he likes showing off his to you, so the piercings were a nice way to add to that. When they heal? Ezreal is the kind to lick a trail up from the waist of your underwear to the piercing and lightly kiss it before giving you a smug laugh. He knows what he's doing.

Aphelios would get an eyebrow piercing over his right eye. Nothing too obvious. Only when you run your hands through his hair and lift up his bangs then you can see them. Two little metal balls neatly placed to mirror his eyebrow slit on the other brow. It's very cute. He is the kind to lovingly sneak soft kisses on your brow when you two were alone, so now with the piercings there, it kind of feels more special. Aphelios personally finding it nice to lightly run his fingers across the metal and gently touch them while he kisses you. Does he do it knowingly or unconsciously? You honestly still can't tell. The little trickster would also give you a knowing smirk as his runs His fingers through your hair, lightly tugging as he holds your hair up to inspect your piercings before he pulls you in for another kiss.

Sett would get an industrial on one ear and maybe a few helix piercings sprinkled in, however helix piercings work for his cute little ears. They would twitch expectantly as you gently help him care for it post piercing. Almost purring as you clean the piercings for him as your lightly rub and scratch the fur at the base as a treat. He would help you do the same, gently whispering how sexy you are with those piercings into your ears as his cleans them for you after a bath. Sett would also like lightly blowing hair out of the way, or carefully tucking your hair behind your ears as he admires the metal on your skin. After they heal? He is definitely the kind of guy to lick the edges of your ears, enjoying the cool metal of your piercings against his warm tongue.

K'Sante would get a dermal piercing on his collarbone. If you got one on the right his is on the left. It's nothing obvious and usually hidden under his clothes. It's something cute that only you get to see when he takes off his top in front of you. Or when he teasingly pulls the collar down to expose his piercings just to bully you with his bare skin and that nice decorative metal. In private, he likes how its perfectly where the tips of his fingers would rest when he puts his arms around your shoulder, gently circling around the piercing as the two of you snuggle and chat. He also loves it if you were to gently kiss his collarbone near the piercing while looking up at him with all the love in your eyes, hands slowly lifting up his top the admire the piercing better.

Kayn already has a bunch but would love to get snakebites with you. It is badass and honestly very sexy, he loves how the metal clinks against yours when you two kiss. The kind of fucker to bite on your piercings and pull on them. Loving the way your lips would part and how it would hurt just a little. Of course he takes care of it too, hands holding your face as he looks at you with a calm, almost serious expression as he helps your clean the piercings after he plays with them. He would be the kind to sit on your lap, hovering over you as his hands dexterously fondle with the metal, helping you change the accessories after they heal. When he's feeling a little special, he would look away all shy and embarrassed before lightly kissing each piercing.

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cosmerelists · 3 months

Text

If Cosmere Characters Had Real-World Jobs (But Not The Obvious Ones)

In this list, I wanted to try to give Cosmere characters jobs in our world while avoiding the jobs that would be the most obvious picks--like, for example, the real world equivalent of whatever their canon job is.

1. Kaladin: Professional Football Player

It's a dangerous job that Kaladin's dad would scoff at, but the other kids in town think it's really cool and also the recruiters are coming through town and, I mean, he's really good at football.

2. Lirin: Public Defender

If we avoid the obvious job (doctor), then Lirin still needs a job where he is doing good, but it's pretty thankless and the general public are suspicious and think he might actually be evil somehow. So I figure: public defender. He's highly educated, helping people who need it, and just getting nothing but grief as a result. Worst of all, his smart son wants to be a FOOTBALL player!

3. Marsh: Masseuse

I feel like people who are good at hemalurgy know about the body and its pressure points and things like that. And frankly, "acupuncturist" felt too on the nose.

4. Shallan: Park Ranger

Shallan HATES to be confined, so no way she's going into an office job. Plus, she likes nature and animals, but I'm trying to avoid the more obvious jobs (like botanist or ecologist). It's just too bad that Shallan is SO bad at staring a campfire, though.

5. Navani: Wedding Planner

Navani is VERY good at managing people and events, as seen when she had to manage everything while Gavilar was off plotting. She's also very organized and literally invented wristwatches. So I think she's be very good at this job.

6. Elend: Grad Student

This one may be too obvious, but I figure something like "politician" or "philosopher" are more obvious. But to me, Elend has major grad student energy.

7. Nale: Insurance Adjuster

Nale is a cop, of course, through and through. But if he wasn't a cop, then he'd need some other job where he uses the rules to screw people over. So I see him as, like, an evil insurance guy who's denying people medical coverage because the company wants him to.

8. Blackthorn-Era Dalinar: Debt Collector

If flashback Dalinar couldn't make a living mowing people down in battle and had to find a less obvious job, then I could see him being the guy to hunt down people and demand money they don't have. He doesn't really care about the money. He just likes the hunt.

9. Adolin: eSports Player

It's a job where you can head-to-head battle people and your dad is vaguely puzzled and thinks you should be doing something more important with your life.

10. Lightsong: Customer Service Agent

In canon, Lightsong's job is to face down a huge line of people and tell them "no" in response to them asking for something they want. So, I mean, I feel like that's equivalent to one of those shitty customer service jobs where you're not really allowed to help people (until, of course, Lightsong goes rogue and does start helping people, but that's another story...)

11. Stormfather: Bus Driver

He has his route, and he's not deviating from it. And if you miss the bus, he's not stopping. He's not going back. You can try to run, but you will not catch up to him.

12. Tress: Mechanic

As a Sprouter, Tress had to figure out how each of the spores worked and how to use them. I just feel like she'd be good at diagnosing issues in machinery and then fixing them.

13. Steris: Programmer

She's precise, she's smart, she likes rules. I think coding would suit her.

14. Yumi: Waitress

She could stack the plates SO high.

15. Marasi: Investigative Reporter

Which, honestly, is what I wish she had been rather than being a cop like in canon. I think it would suit her! She'd get to research, investigate, find the truth...

16. Kelsier: Motivational Speaker

He tells you about the power of smiling no matter what, so that you are never defeated. He tells you to carry something small, some memento or photo, to help you find your motivation. You tells you that no goal is out of reach--you just have to find the right people and the right steps to move forward. And he tells you that the most important thing is to survive.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Kaladin #Lirin #Shallan #Adolin #Kelsier #Marasi #Yumi #Tress #Stormfather #Lightsong #Dalinar #Elend #Nale #Marsh #Steris #Navani

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lopposting · 5 months

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The major question of the story that we are now asking:

Why, exactly, does Carlo never "wake up"?

[long post]

[Spoilers ahead]

Well, simply put - Because he is dead.

OK, that seems like too obvious an answer, but I'll elaborate, and bear with me here. I want to recap some elements first so you know where I'm coming from, but I'm also trying not to completely explain everything because that's way too hard and would be too long.

[Currently, we don't understand everything about the story or its meaning. Because of some of the shrouded nature of the lore and narrative, it leaves much mystery. But from viewing these questions and the story from a thematic standpoint, something unexpected and really cool happened. I found that the story and the lore opened up in reverse.]

The easiest way to explain the plot (in my opinion):

It was my impression that Geppetto never “started” the puppet frenzy. The puppets were NEVER breaking the grand covenant, interpretably they are protecting humans by stopping the spread of the petrification disease, it’s just that everyone in the city was infected by that point.

Now with the puppets killing everybody in a city where everyone was infected (ergo being the result of the disease) Simon can go around harvesting all that ergo and Geppetto presumably plays him by letting Simon collect the Ergo first, and then sending P to kill him. [again, these details may not be completely accurate, but bear with me here]

Why create P in the first place?

He's made in Carlo's image so to speak because Geppetto hopes that Carlo's spirit will awaken. This is also why P is never bound to the covenant (it seems that not being bound to robot laws makes puppet egos awaken faster, since awakened puppets can break the grand covenant). So that is the two functions of P, to destroy puppets for ergo to harvest and so Carlo's consciousness can restore. I was just guessing that the arm of god was enough to get Carlo to revive, and Carlo's mental spirit reviving would be helpful but not entirely necessary. But for reasons we don't understand, Carlo never does regain consciousness.

Geppetto bitterly tells us that we don't seem to have inherited Carlo's memories. There is no big moment where Pinocchio or Pino or P reawakens, fully, as Carlo. He isn’t treated by the story as him. During the course of the game, P struggles to forge his own identity, to become a real boy, despite starting as a copy of the original. It’s a very fitting parable for the genre identity of a soulslike.

However, there are other successful re-incarnations of people through puppets, namely Sophia at the end of the Rise ending. We ask, for consistency's sake, why are puppet-form Romeo and puppet-form Sophia assumed to have retained their original identities, but not Pino? This is just my personal interpretation of why Carlo just couldn't or doesn't wake up. It isn't really based any lore or deduction from story details, this is from more of a philosophical point of view. And it isn't just the luck of the draw.

I had some initial thoughts about Carlo's failure. Romeo was made with intention of continuing to fight against the disease, as it's told that he "made a deal with the devil". Sophia may have been a special case, as she is a listener (Arlecchino even refers to her as the goddess in the tower), she may have had an ergo identity so strong that her essential self could retain this process. But either way, the implication is that Pino may have been able to recover her not long after that final fight. Look at the nameless puppet. The state of Carlo's body is so poor, that more than not his body seems to have been replaced with puppet parts. I think the implication was that Geppetto had been replacing parts as they rotted away. Maybe he had simply been dead for too long. But again, this isn't exactly why I think he couldn't awaken.

Simon and Geppetto

Lies has two main antagonists, although one isn't completely revealed until the last section. Both Simon and Geppetto are the perpetrators of Krat's destruction, but for what seems like different reasons. Simon is trying to be reborn, and Geppetto is trying to revive his dead son, Carlo. Interpretably, they are both trying to become Gods. Simon by grasping the supernatural, cosmic power of one, and Geppetto by raising the dead. They have destroyed Krat in their attempt to become a god, or more succinctly put, attempting to become God, singular. Geppetto's goal is, in essence, the same as Simon's goal - Because bringing back the dead would make him God.

That's why it seemed all so confusing. Haven't Geppetto and the alchemists already raised the dead, as Pino does at the end of the Rise ending with Sophia? Sophia, Romeo, and Carlo were all afflicted with the disease. Their Ergo were all made into puppets, but there's a minor but important distinction here. Sophia is still alive in her condition and actively suffering, this is the reason why she asks us to end her life. It seems as though Romeo lost his friend to the disease, and then made a "deal with the devil" to continue fighting, this implies being made into the king of puppets. We collected Sophia's ergo while she was alive, which we then used to animate the puppet. So the three of them were afflicted with the petrification disease. Sophia perished, Romeo perished, but Carlo died.

Now if we see the sand memories section of the beach, the stalker's words start to gain some clarity. If Carlo died from an incurable disease that the stalker couldn't prevent, why is she too late? Perhaps the goal was never to "save" Carlo's life. She laments; That she was too late, NOT to "save" him, but for him to be able to be restored. The stalker seemed to understand that whatever procedure needed to be done would be useless past the point of death.

I have to admit that there was something that I thought could override my theory. It seems as though the alchemists already were able to bring back both Champion Victor and The Eldest of the BRB, and from the dead no less. We read from notes in the Grand Exhibition that Victor had caught the disease, died to the despair of his adoring fans, but then miraculously made a comeback somehow stronger than ever. But maybe - he had only appeared to be brought back from the dead to the public, as Victor sought the help of the alchemists. And when it comes to the Eldest in the coffin, I'm wondering if he was actually only mortally wounded, leading the brotherhood to consult with the alchemists. [The way he was carried out by his brothers too (shouldered on either side) isn't typically the way you would expect people would handle a dead person]

Mirroring Sophia, Romeo, and Pinocchio, who were made into puppets: There is Champion Victor, The Eldest, and Nameless Puppet. We can see the former three as Geppetto's method of "cheating" God (cheating Death), and the latter three as alchemists' method. Only "Carlo" has a form in either one - The Nameless Puppet and the player, P. The Nameless puppet appears to share a similar undead quality with Victor and The Eldest of the BRB (including the tubes). We know that the collected Ergo can animate puppets, They are puppeting around their own dead bodies.

I feel like the Nameless Puppet tells us in a poetic way that Carlo is gone. My thoughts on this are more abstract. Again, this isn't from a factual analysis, but more of from viewing the Nameless Puppet itself as a metaphor. The Nameless puppet has qualities similar to the other undead bosses, yet the game doesn't describe it like it does Victor and the Eldest. It's not a body. It is a puppet [Human on the outside, mechanical on the inside - the inverse of our protagonist]. And straight in the text, we are told this is "The Nameless Puppet". But we know who Carlo was. His name was Carlo. We split open its head, and there are only cold, mechanical parts, instead of what we in the modern world now regard as the very most essential self (the brain). Because there was nothing to recover, there is no one there. Carlo's spirit had long, long since departed the world.

We are also told through one of the game's narrative devices that the Nameless puppet was the first puppet fitted with the organ. Ostensibly, Carlo's body was being prepared for whatever procedure that needed to take place, but Carlo died before that could happen (perhaps thankfully), and Geppetto pushed forward with his plans anyway, perhaps past the point of no return.

There are two forms of revival and we represent one of them, as in, there was the puppet form of Carlo and the undead form of Carlo. Presumably, the undead form was incredibly destructive, and thus stored away; We are the second try for Carlo's rebirth, this time in the puppet form, but we cannot even wake up without the aid of Sophia.

Lies, God, and the Finality of Death

But doesn't Geppetto actually succeed in one of the endings? Simon fails to become a god, (well, presumably only because we kill him in the process of doing so) and then we confront Geppetto. If we hand over our heart, Geppetto actually does revive Carlo. We see the resurrected Carlo, but with one simple smile we realize this isn't the Carlo the game has been leading us to believe existed. This ending leaves us with distrust and unease rather than a sense of peace and resolution. Simon fails to become a god, and at the bad ending - even if he "wins" - the game makes us wonder if So does Geppetto. No matter what, Carlo could NEVER be truly, and in both senses of the word, honestly, be revived.

[Simon Manus - like Simon Magus, the biblical figure who tries to buy into the supernatural power of God. And Geppetto, of course alluding to the 1883 italian novel The Adventures of Pinocchio - a puppet master, a creator indeed, but of wooden imitations of life, and a poor imitation of God]

So, why I think Carlo could not wake up? Because whatever needed to happen could not be done after the actual point of death, and Sophia and Romeo's hearts were both transferred before they actually died. His spirit had long gone from this world. Krat has methods of eternal life, but these transfers happened while they were still alive. While the alchemists and Geppetto could certainly cheat death (as we maybe even would with modern day medicine), they could not defeat it. Carlo can no longer wake up, Carlo can never wake up again, because he is dead.

#lies of p #lies of p spoilers #spoilers

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physalian · 16 days

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8 Signs your Sequel Needs Work

Sequels, and followup seasons to TV shows, can be very tricky to get right. Most of the time, especially with the onslaught of sequels, remakes, and remake-quels over the past… 15 years? There’s a few stand-outs for sure. I hear Dune Part 2 stuck the landing. Everyone who likes John Wick also likes those sequels. Spiderverse 2 also stuck the landing.

These are less tips and more fundamental pieces of your story that may or may not factor in because every work is different, and this is coming from an audience’s perspective. Maybe some of these will be the flaws you just couldn’t put your finger on before. And, of course, these are all my opinions, for sequels and later seasons that just didn’t work for me.

1. Your vague lore becomes a gimmick

The Force, this mysterious entity that needs no further explanation… is now quantifiable with midichlorians.

In The 100, the little chip that contains the “reincarnation” of the Commanders is now the central plot to their season 6 “invasion of the bodysnatchers” villains.

In The Vampire Diaries, the existence of the “emotion switch” is explicitly disputed as even existing in the earlier seasons, then becomes a very real and physical plot point one can toggle on and off.

I love hard magic systems. I love soft magic systems, too. These two are not evolutions of each other and doing so will ruin your magic system. People fell in love with the hard magic because they liked the rules, the rules made sense, and everything you wrote fit within those rules. Don’t get wacky and suddenly start inventing new rules that break your old ones.

People fell in love with the soft magic because it needed no rules, the magic made sense without overtaking the story or creating plot holes for why it didn’t just save the day. Don’t give your audience everything they never needed to know and impose limitations that didn’t need to be there.

Solving the mystery will never be as satisfying as whatever the reader came up with in their mind. Satisfaction is the death of desire.

2. The established theme becomes un-established

I talked about this point already in this post about theme so the abridged version here: If your story has major themes you’ve set out to explore, like “the dichotomy of good and evil” and you abandon that theme either for a contradictory one, or no theme at all, your sequel will feel less polished and meaningful than its predecessor, because the new story doesn’t have as much (if anything) to say, while the original did.

Jurassic Park is a fantastic, stellar example. First movie is about the folly of human arrogance and the inherent disaster and hubris in thinking one can control forces of nature for superficial gains. The sequels, and then sequel series, never returns to this theme (and also stops remembering that dinosaurs are animals, not generic movie monsters). JP wasn’t just scary because ahhh big scary reptiles. JP was scary because the story is an easily preventable tragedy, and yes the dinosaurs are eating people, but the people only have other people to blame. Dinosaurs are just hungry, frightened animals.

Or, the most obvious example in Pixar’s history: Cars to Cars 2.

3. You focus on the wrong elements based on ‘fan feedback’

We love fans. Fans make us money. Fans do not know what they want out of a sequel. Fans will never know what they want out of a sequel, nor will studios know how to interpret those wants. Ask Star Wars. Heck, ask the last 8 books out of the Percy Jackson universe.

Going back to Cars 2 (and why I loathe the concept of comedic relief characters, truly), Disney saw dollar signs with how popular Mater was, so, logically, they gave fans more Mater. They gave us more car gimmicks, they expanded the lore that no one asked for. They did try to give us new pretty racing venues and new cool characters. The writers really did try, but some random Suit decided a car spy thriller was better and this is what we got.

The elements your sequel focuses on could be points 1 or 2, based on reception. If your audience universally hates a character for legitimate reasons, maybe listen, but if your audience is at war with itself over superficial BS like whether or not she’s a female character, or POC, ignore them and write the character you set out to write. Maybe their arc wasn’t finished yet, and they had a really cool story that never got told.

This could be side-characters, or a specific location/pocket of worldbuilding that really resonated, a romantic subplot, whatever. Point is, careening off your plan without considering the consequences doesn’t usually end well.

4. You don’t focus on the ‘right’ elements

I don’t think anyone out there will happily sit down and enjoy the entirety of Thor: The Dark World. The only reasons I would watch that movie now are because a couple of the jokes are funny, and the whole bit in the middle with Thor and Loki. Why wasn’t this the whole movie? No one cares about the lore, but people really loved Loki, especially when there wasn’t much about him in the MCU at the time, and taking a villain fresh off his big hit with the first Avengers and throwing him in a reluctant “enemy of my enemy” plot for this entire movie would have been amazing.

Loki also refuses to stay dead because he’s too popular, thus we get a cyclical and frustrating arc where he only has development when the producers demand so they can make maximum profit off his character, but back then, in phase 2 world, the mystery around Loki was what made him so compelling and the drama around those two on screen was really good! They bounced so well off each other, they both had very different strengths and perspectives, both had real grievances to air, and in that movie, they *both* lost their mother. It’s not even that it’s a bad sequel, it’s just a plain bad movie.

The movie exists to keep establishing the Infinity Stones with the red one and I can’t remember what the red one does at this point, but it could have so easily done both. The powers that be should have known their strongest elements were Thor and Loki and their relationship, and run with it.

This isn’t “give into the demands of fans who want more Loki” it’s being smart enough to look at your own work and suss out what you think the most intriguing elements are and which have the most room and potential to grow (and also test audiences and beta readers to tell you the ugly truth). Sequels should feel more like natural continuations of the original story, not shameless cash grabs.

5. You walk back character development for ~drama~

As in, characters who got together at the end of book 1 suddenly start fighting because the “will they/won’t they” was the juiciest dynamic of their relationship and you don’t know how to write a compelling, happy couple. Or a character who overcame their snobbery, cowardice, grizzled nature, or phobia suddenly has it again because, again, that was the most compelling part of their character and you don’t know who they are without it.

To be honest, yeah, the buildup of a relationship does tend to be more entertaining in media, but that’s also because solid, respectful, healthy relationships in media are a rarity. Season 1 of Outlander remains the best, in part because of the rapid growth of the main love interest’s relationship. Every season after, they’re already married, already together, and occasionally dealing with baby shenanigans, and it’s them against the world and, yeah, I got bored.

There’s just so much you can do with a freshly established relationship: Those two are a *team* now. The drama and intrigue no longer comes from them against each other, it’s them together against a new antagonist and their different approaches to solving a problem. They can and should still have distinct personalities and perspectives on whatever story you throw them into.

6. It’s the same exact story, just Bigger

I have been sitting on a “how to scale power” post for months now because I’m still not sure on reception but here’s a little bit on what I mean.

Original: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy New York

Sequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the planet

Threequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the galaxy

You knew it wasn’t going to happen the first time, you absolutely know it won’t happen on a bigger scale. Usually, when this happens, plot holes abound. You end up deleting or forgetting about characters’ convenient powers and abilities, deleting or forgetting about established relationships and new ground gained with side characters and entities, and deleting or forgetting about stakes, themes, and actually growing your characters like this isn’t the exact same story, just Bigger.

How many Bond movies are there? Thirty-something? I know some are very, very good and some are not at all good. They’re all Bond movies. People keep watching them because they’re formulaic, but there’s also been seven Bond actors and the movies aren’t one long, continuous, self-referential story about this poor, poor man who has the worst luck in the universe. These sequels aren’t “this but bigger” it’s usually “this, but different”, which is almost always better.

“This, but different now” will demand a different skillset from your hero, different rules to play by, different expectations, and different stakes. It does not just demand your hero learn to punch harder.

Example: Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 does have more influence than Tai Lung, yes. He’s got a whole city and his backstory is further-reaching, but he’s objectively worse in close combat—so he doesn’t fistfight Po. He has cannons, very dangerous cannons, cannons designed to be so strong that kung fu doesn’t matter. Thus, he’s not necessarily “bigger” he’s just “different” and his whole story demands new perspective.

The differences between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are numerous, but the latter relies on “but bigger” and the former went in a whole new direction, while still staying faithful to the themes of the original.

7. It undermines the original by awakening a new problem too soon

I’ve already complained about the mere existence of Heroes of Olympus elsewhere because everything Luke fought and died for only bought that world about a month of peace before the gods came and ripped it all away for More Story.

I’ve also complained that the Star Wars Sequels were always going to spit in the face of a character’s six-movie legacy to bring balance to the Force by just going… nah. Ancient prophecy? Only bought us about 30 years of peace.

Whether it’s too soon, or it’s too closely related to the original, your audience is going to feel a little put-off when they realize how inconsequential this sequel makes the original, particularly in TV shows that run too many seasons and can’t keep upping the ante, like Supernatural.

Kung Fu Panda once again because these two movies are amazing. Shen is completely unrelated to Tai Lung. He’s not threatening the Valley of Peace or Shifu or Oogway or anything the heroes fought for in the original. He’s brand new.

My yearning to see these two on screen together to just watch them verbally spat over both being bratty children disappointed by their parents is unquantifiable. This movie is a damn near perfect sequel. Somebody write me fanfic with these two throwing hands over their drastically different perspectives on kung fu.

8. It’s so divorced from the original that it can barely even be called a sequel

Otherwise known as seasons 5 and 6 of Lost. Otherwise known as: This show was on a sci-fi trajectory and something catastrophic happened to cause a dramatic hairpin turn off that path and into pseudo-biblical territory. Why did it all end in a church? I’m not joking, they did actually abandon The Plan while in a mach 1 nosedive.

I also have a post I’ve been sitting on about how to handle faith in fiction, so I’ll say this: The premise of Lost was the trials and escapades of a group of 48 strangers trying to survive and find rescue off a mysterious island with some creepy, sciency shenanigans going on once they discover that the island isn’t actually uninhabited.

Season 6 is about finding “candidates” to replace the island’s Discount Jesus who serves as the ambassador-protector of the island, who is also immortal until he’s not, and the island becomes a kind of purgatory where they all actually did die in the crash and were just waiting to… die again and go to heaven. Spoiler Alert.

This is also otherwise known as: Oh sh*t, Warner Bros wants more Supernatural? But we wrapped it up so nicely with Sam and Adam in the box with Lucifer. I tried to watch one of those YouTube compilations of Cas’ funny moments because I haven’t seen every episode, and the misery on these actors’ faces as the compilation advanced through the seasons, all the joy and wit sucked from their performances, was just tragic.

I get it. Writers can’t control when the Powers That Be demand More Story so they can run their workhorse into the ground until it stops bleeding money, but if you aren’t controlled by said powers, either take it all back to basics, like Cars 3, or just stop.

—

Sometimes taking your established characters and throwing them into a completely unrecognizable story works, but those unrecongizable stories work that much harder to at least keep the characters' development and progression satisfying and familiar. See this post about timeskips that take generational gaps between the original and the sequel, and still deliver on a satisfying continuation.

TLDR: Sequels are hard and it’s never just one detail that makes them difficult to pull off. They will always be compared to their predecessors, always with the expectations to be as good as or surpass the original, when the original had no such competition. There’s also audience expectations for how they think the story, lore, and relationships should progress. Most faults of sequels, in my opinion, lie in straying too far from the fundamentals of the original without understanding why those fundamentals were so important to the original’s success.

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writing #writeblr #sequels #kung fu panda

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toplines · 1 year

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP REPOSTING GIFS.

“bu…bubu- but they’re just wittle pixels and digital images rwight 🥺” no. we spend hours on gifs or even one singular gif to make edits for FREE on tumblr dot com. name a person who asked us to do this. no one!! exactly!! we make gifs bc its enjoyable and fun but people like reposters suck the fun out of it!!! and do NOT go and tell us that “gifs aren’t that hard to make” baby girl what do u think we do? go online and search for a video downloader and download it at like a crappy 720p and go to like literal ezgif dot com and all the gifs just MAGICALLY have their effects, typography, colouring, blending, animation, quality all up and ready? why dont u try and make a gif. hm.

and also, @ all of you “gif collectors” or some fanfic writers. lemme tell u a secret. an itty bitty secret. did u know… theres this really cool thing called PROPERLY CREDITING? im not talking about a stupid “credits to the owners” no. it isn’t that hard to properly source the creators or accounts.

that wasn’t so hard, hm?

also oh my god, do NOT go around saying you made these gifs when it is so obvious you didn’t. no bff, it isn’t a coincidence we have the same sharpening AND colouring settings.

and hey, i’ll stop my angry typing for a minute and just say that if you wanna learn how to make gifs there are plenty of amazing accounts and tutorials that are incredibly detailed. here are a few i recommend:

how to: make high quality gifs by sith-maul

giffing 101 by cillianmurphy

giffing and colouring tutorial by sashafierce

how to fix and avoid orangewashing characters by maxchapman

how to fix and avoid white/pink/yellowwashing by jeonwonwoo

how to: colouring east & southeast asians by blueshelp

pastel gifs: a tutorial by completeresources

how to fix and avoid whitewashing in pastel gifs by fadenet

and for those who don’t want to pay/ t*rr*nt photoshop:

free giffing tutorial by ashleysolsen

photopea gif tutorial by lacebird

and @usergif has a bunch of directories and navigation for tutorials and inspiration!

again, there are so many useful tutorials if you’d just look.

i know this probably won’t stop all reposters (unfortunately) but i hope those reposters that are reading this realise how messed up stealing gifs are. it isn’t funny or cool to see gifs that you’ve spent so much time on only to be reposted here or on other sites without credit or being claimed as someone elses.

we’re just asking for a proper credit on your post or maybe even stop reposting in whole. im sure you had good intentions in making those posts, but you have to understand how much it hurts. at this point, we have to put our watermarks in the middle of our gifs to avoid people cropping them out.

and please, PLEASE reblog edits. you have no idea how diminishing it is to see such a crappy like to reblog ratio. remember this hellsite has such a crappy algorithm so reblogging is essentially one of the only ways to give posts more traction

AGAIN. dont repost gifs. dont steal gifs without credit. dont belittle gifmakers. just stop being so disrespectful and rude and have a brain for once. thank you for reading.

edit: ive noticed ppl asking why i kinda like insulted those who use 720p and ezgif, im really sorry if i made it sound like a bad thing !! i was just very angry writing this aaaadjskdks gifmaking, HQ or not is valid and nobody deserves to get their creations stolen !

#este talks #gifmaking #so tired.

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makeyoumine69 · 6 months

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Call Me Babydoll 4

PAIRING: DBF!Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Anything that seems too good to be true probably isn't. After a dinner with Patrick that didn't go well, you realized that your relationship with him is more complicated than you initially thought.

CONTAINS: Angst, mentions of food, cursing and use of pet names (babydoll), smoking, gaslighting & manipulation, humiliation & mild bulling.

WORDS: 4.1k

A/N: This chapter is a bit long, but I hope you enjoy it!💕

LINKS: [Ch.3]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [MASTERLIST]

God, you couldn't imagine a worse situation than this — being stuck in the limo with Patrick Bateman after he discovered your little secret about your virginity. Panicking from the lack of oxygen, you looked down at his deadly grip on your wrist, your brain overloaded with thoughts of a possible escape route.

"Patrick, I should go," you tried to release his grip when you noticed that the car had stopped, but he kept holding you tight. "My Dad is waiting for me!"

"Your father can wait a little longer," he demanded, pulling you a little closer, forcing you to raise your shy eyes to him. "Tomorrow we'll have dinner and talk about...this whole thing."

From the raspy sound of his voice, it was obvious that Bateman was doing his best to save what was left of his self-control, his skin burning yours with its heat.

"And what if I say 'no'?" You snapped at his cheeky way of speaking.

With a soft chuckle, he let go of your wrist and grinned as he saw you rubbing the spot where he was holding you a moment ago. "You don't want to upset your Dad, do you?" When Patrick met your confused gaze, the corners of his lips turned up. "I mean, the last thing you want is for your dear father to find out about all the nasty things you did…with me."

Your nostrils flared with anger, but you tried to play it cool. "What? Are you really trying to blackmail me?"

"No," Bateman grinned at your irritated stare. "Just a little reminder not to try to play games with me. It's pointless anyway."

Uh yeah, sure. We'll see who laughs last.

Saying nothing in return, you looked at him one last time before opening the car door and getting out.

"I'll pick you up at six. Wear something nice...something that hides your tattoos." Patrick ordered through the half-open window, the wide, smug smile never leaving his face.

The urge to turn around and show him your middle finger was so damn high, but as you faced the facade of your house, the memories of your father occupied your mind and stopped you at the very last moment.

"I don't have any of those clothes you're talking about," you simply replied, spinning around and crossing your hands over your chest. "Because I—"

"That's not a problem, babydoll. We can buy you some fabulous dresses or skirts," his brown eyes traveled over your body like a scanner, making you feel completely naked, you even shrugged off the shiver. "By the way, does your father forbid you to wear skirts or dresses because he knows someone would kidnap you? You have such pretty legs."

You closed your eyes and counted to ten to calm yourself. "I love my jeans, and pants are just much more comfortable for me!" Your voice trembled with embarrassment and anger. "If all the girls around you look like sluts in their skimpy dresses, that doesn't mean I have to! Jesus, why am I even trying to justify myself?!"

Your little tantrum only made him chuckle in pure satisfaction. "I have no idea why, but I like it," his arrogant smirk made you sick. After checking his Rolex nonchalantly, Bateman added, "See you tomorrow, (y/n). And tell your father that my old man has approved those investments we talked about a week ago."

Wait, what?

Now it was your turn to try to stop him, but just as the last word fell from his lips, the limo pulled away, leaving you with an unspoken question stuck in your throat like a lump.

The air of your house greeted you with a sharp smell of smoke, signaling that your father was home and not in a good mood — he had taken up smoking since your mother died, and now you knew pretty well that when he was feeling down only a cigarette could bring him some relief.

Walking slowly through the halls of your not-so-luxurious but spacious house, you found your Dad sitting in the living room with a glass of his favorite whiskey and a pack of cigarettes that he twirled nervously in his hand.

"Hey, Dad," you called out quietly, halting in the doorway — the strange pangs of guilty causing your heart to pound painfully against your chest. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I didn't hear you coming," he turned to you, his wrinkled face lighting up the moment he saw your apprehensive expression. "I'm fine...just had a busy day," he put the cigarette in the ashtray and got up from his comfortable armchair. "How did you make it home?"

His sudden question caught you off guard, as your father didn't usually ask such things. Frowning, you stepped into the living room and looked at his tired face — he seemed to have aged even faster in the last few months, when his business had stopped being as profitable as it used to be.

"I'm fine, thanks," you carefully took a seat on the couch next to him, noticing that the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table was half empty. "Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, my dear," your father smiled at you and poured himself another glass of alcohol before sitting back down in his armchair. "What is it?"

"Did you really ask Pat—" you stammered and coughed a little. "I mean, did you really ask Mr. Bateman to pick me up after work?"

Right after you asked, you tried to catch a glimpse of your father's reaction, to notice any strange expressions or anything that might discredit him, but to your surprise, your father just gave you a sympathetic grin, sipping his drink and looking at you adoringly.

"Maybe I did..." he tilted his head thoughtfully. "...or maybe I didn't. Forgive me for my bad memory, it gets worse every day."

Sighing, you couldn't help but smile at his words, as your father was always the one who could warm your heart just by saying a few simple words.

"All right, all right," you paused, rubbing your tense temples. "He asked me to inform you that the investments you discussed some time ago have been approved and..." as you noticed your father's face changing so quickly, you had to pause for a second. "...is it something important?"

Your father took a quick drag on a cigarette, blowing a few rings of smoke to the side to keep them away from you. "Did he really say that?"

"Yes," you fidgeted nervously in your seat, seeing your Dad's reaction. "Yes, he did."

"That's...that's one of the best pieces of news I've had in a long time," your father stood up again, looking for something. "I need to make a call..."

Nodding, you decided that now was not the best time to ask more questions, so you just decided to leave and go to your room, but as soon as you strolled away, you heard your father's enthusiastic voice again:

"(Y/n), wait," he stopped beside you, holding a phone in his slightly shaking hand. "I know I've always been too strict when it comes to you, but I've always tried to give you as much love and care as I could...since your mother..." His words cut right through your heart, and you even had to grit your teeth from the itchy tears that welled up in your eyes.

"Father, please...let's not talk about it." You interrupted him, not wanting to open up your old wounds.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that...Patrick Bateman seems like a good man," you almost lost your sense of orientation in this room at his sudden statement. "I haven't allowed you to hang out with boys much, but you can get to know him better since he's been asking about you a lot."

Fuck, you couldn’t believe it.

First, Bateman had his eyes on you. Then he tried to seduce you, break you and make you forget your morals, and he fucking succeeded, because in the end Patrick managed to get his hands on you, and now his farther suddenly approved the budget for your Dad's business. Was this just a coincidence or another way to manipulate you?

"Well, you tried to protect me from...everything and everyone, I can't judge you..." you murmured as you reached the door. "You always want the best for me, so... I promise I'll think about it."

With that, you closed the door behind you, leaving your father alone in the living room. A wild cocktail of emotions swirled in your chest, as if you had drunk something extremely hot — you wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream. How on Earth did that happen? That your own father was directly encouraging you to get close with Patrick Bateman? Was that someone's bad joke?

As soon as you got to your room, you opened the closet, looking for some "fabulous" dress Patrick wanted you to wear.

"Fucking narcissistic idiot," you cursed aloud as you flipped through your clothes, getting more and more annoyed by the second. "Why do I even care what he thinks about my appearance?"

You exhaled tiredly and hid your face in your hands, feeling the strong shudder in every inch of your fragile frame. This man, damn it, this man was a devil himself, and your father just called him 'a good guy'.

Unbelievable.

"All right, I have to pull myself together." You moved quickly to the mirror, breathing steadily and rubbing your cheeks. "I'll do it for Dad, I'll figure it all out."

Winking at your reflection, you returned to your search for a suitable dress, not realizing that it was getting late.

The next day started with a heavy rain which woke you up with its sound, so loud that you couldn't fall asleep again. So, you decided to get up earlier and write a bit before your work.

Your father was already gone when you got downstairs — the memories of your earlier conversation were still running through your mind, leaving a bitter aftertaste. As you made yourself a cup of coffee with your favorite organic milk, you couldn't stop thinking about what might happen tonight — the unknown made you feel a little nauseous, but the breathing exercises your mother taught you always helped you in such moments. Uh, what would your mom say to you if she were here, if she knew the situation you were in?

Would Patrick be able to enchant her so easily?

The workday went by so quickly that you didn't even realize you were rushing back home in the taxi. During the ride, you tried to distract yourself with your poems, some of which you had written during the break at the café where you had been with Patrick the day before. After many attempts, you noticed that whenever you tried to describe the feelings Patrick evoked in you, it seemed as if your mind was losing touch with reality. The pen he gifted you was burning your skin as if it were some cursed relic, but yet this phantom pain was something you probably missed in your life, it didn't feel like grief or sorrow — it was something completely new.

Even though you were not a huge fan of Manhattan, you couldn't deny the fact that it looked absolutely breathtaking at night, with all its lights, mesmerizing atmosphere, and soaring skyscrapers that made your head spin whenever you looked at them.

There was no doubt that the restaurant Bateman was taking you to would be exquisite and luxurious, so when you entered the establishment, you were not surprised that most people were paying attention to your persona, as you had no jewels, no beaded clutch — just your modest but tight black dress, which was one of your shortest. The maître d' escorted you to your table, and from that moment on, the game began between you and Mr. Bateman, although your conversation didn't flow at first.

"So, do you like this place?" Patrick asked a little indifferently after swirling his drink — J&B Whiskey, that seemed to be his favorite.

"Mmm, yeah, it's pretty good." You replied, avoiding his gaze and staring at the napkin on the table that you were nervously crumpling.

Bateman couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. "Pretty good?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Uh," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose briefly. "Do you even know what this place is?"

Finally, you left a poor napkin alone and looked up at him. "This is Dorsia, right? I saw a sign outside."

For a moment his face remained blank, but the next moment a deep, prominent line appeared between his knitted brows.

"Yeah, this is fucking Dorsia," he spat out his words and took a sip of his whiskey. "Nothing special."

Actually, his suddenly confronting tone was embarrassing. "Well...I'm not a frequent guest in these chic restaurants. Come on, you know that."

Unfortunately for you, your voice sounded more sad than irritated, and Bateman didn't miss it. His warm palm touched yours gently, but he didn't dare to look at you.

"Huh," he mused, drawing an invisible line across the back of your hand with his soft fingertip. "It's pretty hard to impress a girl like you, since you just don't understand—"

"The taste of luxurious life?" You cut him off, causing him to raise his brown walnut eyes to your face. They looked so mysterious in the dim light of the restaurant hall.

Patrick pulled his hand away as if struck by the electric shock, clenching his jaw in tension, and this sight was something you never thought you would have to witness.

In a few minutes of awkward silence, the waiter brought your food, and since you refused to take any alcohol, you asked him to give you a dessert menu — maybe something sweet would cheer you up and help you get through this strange dinner that was hard to identify as a date or whatever it might be.

"We have amazing cheesecakes, good choice." The waiter replied as you handed the menu back to him.

"Thank you," you made yourself comfortable in your seat and gave Patrick a warm smile, which left him a bit confused. "I need something to compare with the desserts I've had in my favorite café."

Although you hadn't intended it to be a joke, you weren't irritated at all when you heard his soft chuckle for the first time during dinner. "Just don't tell anyone about this," he crossed his arms and looked at you with a mischievous grin. "I don't want the local chefs to end their lives."

"Oh, God," you laughed, looking at his drink. "Why do you all have to drink whiskey? My Dad can't work without a bottle of his favorite drink next to him," as soon as Bateman heard about your Dad, he straightened up in his seat and fixed his Rolex. "Speaking of him...can I ask you a question?"

"You can try, babydoll." Bateman sneered in a mischievous voice and looked around quickly as if he noticed someone familiar.

"I want to know about the investments—"

"Hey, Halberstram!" An unknown male voice echoed from behind you, shamelessly interrupting your conversation. "Haven't seen you for a while, how have you been?"

A handsome man with light brown hair — wearing a stylish suit that was one hundred percent overpriced — came closer to your table and offered Patrick a handshake, which he accepted, but you couldn't help but notice a glint of anger in his hazel eyes.

"Allen," Bateman shook his hand and then quickly glanced at a woman next to him. "I didn't expect to see you here, I heard you were on vacation in Paris."

"Well, Meredith didn't really like it, so we decided to come back a little earlier," Paul replied, pulling a beautiful blonde girl closer to him. "I thought Halloween was over." Allen chuckled and pointed at you, making you palpably uncomfortable. "Nice manicure, so gothic."

Frowning, you checked your black manicured nails and then looked up at him, suppressing your inner battle to tell him to fuck off. "Thanks." You replied coldly and noticed Patrick clenching his fists in tension.

"And where's Veronica, Marcus? That big-titted chick you were hanging out with at the last yacht party?" Allen asked, continuing to stare at you with undisguised interest.

What the hell was going on? Why did he call him Marcus?

"Veronica?" Bateman interjected, pretending to try to remember. "She's probably with her family in South Hampton."

"Oh, and who is this punk girl?" Paul's question made your nails claw at the soft skin of your knee.

Patrick closed his eyes for a second, definitely trying to find the best answer. It was obvious that a man like him didn't want to ruin his reputation, since you were not a person from his circle. This seemed to be a dead end until an unexpected idea came to your mind.

"I'm a journalist," you explained in a confident voice. "And I'm interviewing...Mr. Halberstram because I'm writing a book about Wall Street."

"Wow," Paul seemed to be surprised. "That's...pretty impressive."

"Yeah," Bateman cleared his throat and unclenched his fists. "She's one of the best journalists in New York, and she wants to write a book, too."

Oh my God, please shut up!

"It's pretty impressive that you were allowed to come here," Meredith suddenly blurted out, giving you a disgusted look. "There's a dress code, you know?"

"I'll leave you for a while, since you have things to discuss." You fumed and got up from the table — Patrick didn't even try to stop you.

In a few minutes, you found your way to the outdoor terrace on the upper level. As you stepped in, you noticed another blonde woman — she looked gorgeous, with her elegant, red-manicured fingers wrapped around the burning cigarette.

"Um, excuse me," you approached her from behind. "Could you pass me a cigarette, please?"

As soon as she turned around, you could see her sad blue eyes, cold as ice. "Sure."

Carefully, she reached into her black clutch to find a pack of cigarettes and offered you one.

"Thank you." You smiled after she lit your cigarette.

"No problem," she grinned back, looking away to see the lights of New York city. "It's so beautiful here, isn't it? I wish he could be with me right now."

Her question left you speechless, because you didn't know how to react, but just as you were about to say something, you heard the door open and the unknown man with the red hair joined you on the terrace.

"Courtney, you're here. I was looking for you," he chirped with an affectionate intonation. "The cocktails are ready."

Unlike the guy, the woman — that apparently was named Courtney — didn't seem happy, you would even say she was getting sadder — her previous words puzzled you, because now it was obvious she was talking about someone else.

With the last puff of smoke, Courtney took a quick glance at the night city and turned to you. "Take care."

Even a few moments after they left, you could still feel the wisp of sharp sadness in the air. Shivering with cold, you came closer to the railing, looked down and smoked, the signals of passing cars distracting you a bit from your train of thought — that fucking snobbish bitch and her supposed boyfriend pissed you off completely and you didn't really want to come back. Her behavior reminded you of why you hated yuppies, Wall Street, money, luxury. You hated it all, while your father tried his best to give you such a life so you could turn into a heartless ghost with no emotions except greed and...disgust?

A sudden touch of soft, warm fabric made you almost flinch. "Are you trying to catch a cold?" A familiar voice asked, and a jacket was wrapped around your trembling shoulders.

No way that could be him. "Patrick?"

The next moment, the owner of the familiar voice — which was indeed Patrick — deftly snatched the cigarette out of your mouth, eliciting an irritated groan from your chest. "You don't need this, believe me."

As you turned around, you watched him puff on your cigarette, but when he blew out a few rings, his face cringed in disgust. "Jesus, this is some girlish shit." Patrick ranted and quickly put out the cigarette.

"What are you doing here?" You crossed your arms in a defensive gesture and stepped away from him.

Patrick chuckled softly, your eyes accidentally glancing around his broad chest and the fashionable suspenders that looked so good on him.

"You could have just told me that you wanted to suffer alone on the terrace like a crybaby. Then I wouldn't have had to look for you all over the fucking restaurant." His voice became slightly stern as a sign of the high level of irritation — his patience seemed about to snap.

"I didn't ask you to come after me," you retorted, but didn't take off his jacket because it was so warm and nice. "Besides, what the hell was that? Why did that guy call you Marcus? Is that your real name? God, maybe you're a fucking scammer trying to deceive my father?"

His loud laugh echoed in the fresh air, Bateman couldn't help but applaud because your theory was fantastic. "That...that was hilarious, babydoll," he theatrically wiped away a few tears and came closer. "We stopped at your question about your father, as I recall."

"You know what?" you suddenly charged at him, almost bumping into his solid torso. "You should have hired several hookers instead of taking me to this useless dinner. At least it would have been a lot cheaper!"

"What?" He asked, still giggling as if you had told him another joke.

"My father has been waiting almost a year for some extra funding," you started, shortening the distance between you to a mere inches. "And just like in fairy tales, the necessary investments were approved as soon as you got your hands on me. What a great coincidence, don't you think?"

Patrick hummed to himself, hiding his hands in the pockets of his pants. "Go on."

"You won't get it," your voice wavered, as if your nature refused to utter the words. "I know that rich guys like you can buy anything and everything — houses, cars, yachts, corporations, girls..." the more you spoke, the darker Bateman's eyes became. "Girls of all body types, ages, virgins or not, and so on. But for me — money is nothing, and I won't do it even for my father".

"You're done?" Patrick asked, pressing a finger to his lips and looking at you with an unreadable expression. When you nodded, he took you by the chin and tilted your head to the side, his thumb brushing against your lower lip as if by accident. "Now, listen to me, babydoll. I invited you to dinner because I wanted to apologize...for the things that happened between us..." your heart skipped a beat at his last words and your legs went weak, but you stood still, looking straight into his dark hypnotizing eyes. "I must say, you're a really cute, sweet girl, pretty even," he smirked as you shivered from his finger sliding down your neck. "But I don't want to be a babysitter."

"W-what?" You gasped, your voice barely audible as your breath hitched from the hard lump in your throat.

"(Y/n), listen, your father's business can be profitable enough, that's the only reason my Dad and I decided to finance it," Bateman removed his hand and stepped aside. "The long wait was caused by bureaucratic processes and my old man being away on business all the time."

There were no words to explain the feelings you were experiencing — frustration, deception, embarrassment?

"I…I understand," you bit your lower lip to keep the tears from forming in your dejected eyes. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

Just as you were about to take off his jacket, Patrick stopped you and after a small hug, he added: "Unfortunately, I don't like messing around with little girls because I'm pretty demanding when it comes to sex.” His arrogant grin was about to become the last straw of your self-control, but you kept fighting. "Let's go back to our table, your dessert must be waiting for you."

With a quick flick of your hand, you wiped away any traces of your tears when he didn't look at you. "I'm not hungry. Go, I'll join you soon."

Bateman gave you a worried look, then glanced at the railing and shook his head. "No, we'll come together, I'm responsible for you tonight and I don't want your father to be nervous."

How fucking cute.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

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