#i literally have not slept.. im so tired..

[chrisbangs]

Bang Chan 특 (S-Class) FANCAM — 230602

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #skz #createskz #cb97net #*gifs #*m #flashing tw #this is famously my specialty (fancam sets...) #i have not slept... #i feel like ive been staring at this for ages but #it really only took abt 2 hrs which is ??? fast for me ... #im not mad abt this tbh....... its honestly.... nawt bad #not great but :] im happy with it #p happy with the colouring considering what it initially looked like #i literally have not slept.. im so tired.. #anyway i really do think if i had to say one thing is My Thing its these silly crazy fancam sets with like 492049 gifs... #i think i make these sets saur well ^__^ #anyway

[countingfailuresnotstars]

every time that I think about the fact that for "normal people" normal level pain is zero pain I'm shocked, how is that even possible

#back like in march my friend made me realise that people dont get up every morning and they are as tired as they haven't slept #i haven't been the same ever since #im in a literal costant of body pain and brain fog #and i have a high fomo #so i try to keep up with everyone else #until i literally crush #lmao #also ive started to get migraines again so im truly having an amazing time #shut up cec #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic fatigue

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

waking up means starting the day's long battle of fighting to stay conscious

#ough im so sleepy.... eepy even.... #i already slept so much but the couch is calling to me #'maybe a lil nap wouldnt hurt' < thats the demons talking #but honestly. what WOULD it hurt? its not like i have literally Anything going on in my life! #there is nothing i need to be awake for! #why shouldn't i doze. why shouldn't i.... #IM LOSING THE BATTLE #absolutely unprompted #i would like to scribble but im so tired... so sleepy... my eyelids are so heavy #just... just one little nap. an hour! or two. or five. lets go for a coma actually that sounds festive #a month long sleep should fix me (lie) #ill scribble some laughingstock later i prommy.... #awww wait tangent #my cat letti has started up a new game #where she shoves a toy under a shelf and then runs to the other side to try and fish it out from underneath #and then she shoves it back under rinse and repeat #she's so enthusiastic about it... practically throwing herself around as she bats the toy back and forth #oh nope she got it out and now she's tossing it around & playing cat soccer with it <3 #and i am going to go Nap. ive lost the battle <3 im waving a white flag <3 i surrender to diet death

[whatthefuckisasweep]

cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((

#my thoughts #i slept like 3 hours but my roommate kept moving and it bothered me where every movement made me irrationally angry #and i keep waking up and having immediate brainrot lfjkfnfjnf so its fun but also not bc im literally SO drained pleasssseee shut up brain #like baby i have a presentation tomorrow at 8:30AM and i have to do a whole reflection paper #go to fucking sleeeeeeep #and the worst part is i FORGOT to eat . before bed . cuz i was too tired and said fuck it ill eat in the morn #which is horrible bc now im like. starving and gross bc i also didnt do anything i kinda just collapsed JFKDNDKDN #but i dont wanna get up. because. um. four am and i dont wannnnaaa eat.i waanaa eat in the morning #so ive just been holding stan bunny close and thinking thoughts while actively trying to sleep JFKDNFKDJD #anyways. Im a functioning human person! #: D ! #GggfrRRRAGGhggh #so annoying bc i usually can sleep on command like its nothing lmfao #but i have too many things on my frickin mind i cant shut it up pensive #anyways THIS IS A LONG TAG THING NSJFJDKFJD UHHHHH runs away #DELETE LATER????

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

#please i just wanna post the next chapter #or at the very least start a oneshot or do literally anything #ive been more tired than usual and i dont like that #im ALWAYS so so tired #sometimes YEAH its because im up til 3 or even 4 #but ive also slept 9 hours. 12 hours. and yet ill STILL feel so tired #im too tired to do the things i want to do #and then i feel like ive just wasted my whole day :((( #how many times these past few weeks have i said im gonna get this chapter done huh? and it is NOT done #i love creating and writing but it takes so much energy sometimes :((( and i just dont have it :((( #i feel bad/down -> writing would help me feel better -> too tired/unmotivated to write -> doesnt write -> keeps feeling bad #rinse and repeat lmao #sometimes being nice to urself and waiting for the motivation doesnt work #sometimes u gotta sit at ur desk with a massive mug of coffee and say ''i will WRITE if its the last thing i fucking do'' #screw quality its time to write WORDS #anyway. im making myself coffee rn. i will get through this dammit #summer post

[polaraffect]

current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit

#damien.txt #sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam #i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually #okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way #and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues #because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit #and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life. #and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if.... #and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds #and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm #at a level that is. certainly unhealthy. #and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know! #but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point. #and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals #abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much! #but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess. #idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually #my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks #i am. tired.

[ariature]

I remember reading someone say to clasify an artist as good, they have to have three good albums in their lineup and have to have mostly good songs in each of those.

by that definition and my opinion, LC! is the best band on the planet

#I LOVE LOS CAMPESINOS #like literally every song is so goddamn good #there is not a single song they have slept on #even their less impressive songs are ones that slap in random moments #I need a new album soon though please #also please come to west coast for a tour #i want to see Gareth and the other british people sing silly songs about gore and hatred in an upbeat tone #trans #lesbian #transgirl #im tired #wilbur soot #lovejoy #los campesinos! #indie pop #indie rock #pop punk

[maraschinotopped]

cringetober day 10 (fursona). goofy silly sona and more actual-me sona <3

#[cherry on top] #the 2020 sona's still going strong... literally all i had to do to renew my love 4 her #was just to make her all squash and stretchy. she animates like a rubberhose cartoon in my head <3 #the one i made this year is still the one that mainly represents me currently though #sorry this ones so idk. lacking in dialogue. i dont have much else to say lol #its just my two fursonas ^-^''' #i think its because im tired. i didnt get enough sleep last night </3 #i accidentally slept an extra hour in the morning after my alarm went off because of that too. #augh.

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

i slept for literally actually genuinely 12 hours last night and im STILL TIRED

#like i slept from 11 - 11 #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i feel like. better i guess #but i still feel like i could just go to sleep rn #my sister has phd apps due so shes been staying up until like 6 am every night this week #and i have literally four things to do and im sleeping like 8 - 12 hours a night and im So Tired

[the-acid-pear]

A MIMIR MUCHACHOS a mimir...

#luly talks #im always eepy until its bedtime.then im like heeheehoohoo what if i never slept again? 🤪 #but I've been very bored lately like everything is either too much or too little #I've been struggling to find inner peace NWHSNSHABS #okay i think I'll set my goal tomorrow to make some art. some silly comics. at least let em be SKETCHY who carss #no one cares i just want to put sumthin out there... and i will ! ! ! #bc i have some funny ideas its true its true i do #ina repetition mood if y'all dont seem to mind i am quite tired snd i love that stuff sooo much #feel like columbo going on a semi related rant but my ex blood fucking HATED when i repeated something a lot literally had #words banned bc it was driving her crazy which i find quite funny and symbolic of the disabled experience honestly #like for me to say the same words constantly was easy and comforting but for him it was EVIL and FUCKED UP #we all are so sifjfbfnf #im so tired okay im going to bed manifest some warm sheets and a kinder matress and all sorts of lovely things for me pls heaaart

[vectorworm]

rule one of not doing your homework: go to bed but with an underlying sense of stress

#i literally CANNOT do my homework rn im so TIRED from the party yesterday #i didnt get drunk and we slept like 8 full hours but yk my social battery is teeny tiny #teeny tiny i have to recover by doing nothing at all #yet having so much stuff overdue #ah yes

[cetoddle]

may is truly not off to a good start i gotta say

#yesterday was literally hell #i slept till 2 today cause i was so tired.. #and todays not much better so far :') #idk why but my ipads acting up again and i keep messing up shows #and im just so tired so so sleepy tired #at least tonight i dont have 2 train #so i get to be on my own #i think tonights probably the last night ill be back there by myself for a while... #as excited as i am to leave i am kinda nervous #and there are things ill miss #and i'll miss my nights to myself but #i'm sure it'll all work out :') right :') #snow.txt

[gonfrees]

seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.

#we can postpone cjristmas #gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross #ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all #and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely #started symptoms on friday #twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive #literally slept with my bf all of those nights #shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate #nobody else is sick #i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped #i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick #i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive #im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous #im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people #i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up #my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it #i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me #offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask #i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid #i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that #id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people #i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me #i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad #ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later #nap time #text

[uraniumglassgirl]

one of my moms friends texted me out of nowhere about how shes disappointed that i didnt go to college and im actually just so tired of this shit

#everyone ever in my life has told me that my decisions are all a waste and its like!!! i tried going to college! #that was a significant portion of my life #and it sucked huge dick like my mental health had never been worse i had never slept less #i literally constantly have had so many adult figures tell me theyre disappointed in me because im not 'applying myself' #and its like. im tired of it man. it makes me feel so worthless i wish i could just be and that was enough #im gonna apply for a job tomorrow. i need to move out soon

[blewthecandleout]

Of all the things I struggle with with my ADHD I find the fact that I'm almost always late one of the hardest. Because it's like I'm fully aware that I do it and it should be so easy to fix but it's like my brain is just being piloted by an easily distracted goblin.

#not swiftpost #its like stuff just takes me so long and no matter how much time i need i always need twice as much #and sometimes i can use it to my advantage and tell myself that I'll only draw for 10 minutes and end up spending 2 hours #which is good because i produce more and i procrastinate drawing literally all the time #but its also like so frustrating when i have work or meetings with friends that im pretty much always late to #like the only reasons i havent got in trouble for being late at work is because 1) i havent been caught #2) im the manager so i call up my staff letting them know and they don't tell on me #3) the retail ops manager has a soft spot for me i guess so she doesn't seem to give a shit ansmdm #but it's just like. really really annoying #like this morning im going on a walk with this meetup group and im very late which is partly public transports fault #but also because i slept through my alarm because i was so tired last night #and was watching the crown instead of getting my bag/lunch ready...