#because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit

[polaraffect]

current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit

#damien.txt #sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam #i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually #okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way #and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues #because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit #and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life. #and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if.... #and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds #and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm #at a level that is. certainly unhealthy. #and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know! #but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point. #and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals #abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much! #but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess. #idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually #my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks #i am. tired.

[khaleesiofalicante]

"Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide" - Donald Winnicott

Izzy going with Maryse and Alec staying😭 the opposite-parallels hurt me ok?!?!? Also the reason he says is also kinda sad and shit is all complicated!!!

Sometimes that’s what it means to be a son. To make sacrifices for your parents.

Sometimes that’s what it means to be a parent. To make sacrifices for your children.

This!!

The way he never walked away and he never gave up are some of his best qualities but at the same time the reason it all went down. Love me some good analysis...

Alec-Maryse post-divorce parallels... Wow

SIZZY RIGHTS!!!😎 Also not them stalking him djhdjdjd

He reminds himself of what Ragnor told him. Love how he is always learning and trying to understand better🥺

Rules and shit really are complicated...

"And you Isabelle, you live inside my heart. You always will.” Lightwood siblings is something that can actually be so personal..

But she doesn’t know how to be sad. So, she decides to be angry. He wonders if all younger siblings are like that. I dont like this call out...

FUCK VALENTINE. CLACE RIGHTS BITCH!! I WILL PROTECT THEM WITH MY LIFE✨🔪💙 JACE IS SO FUCKING IN LOVE AND I SAY GOOD FOR HIM!!

Love is blind, and love is stupid, and love is dangerous, and love is beautiful.💜💜💜

But Jace could ask him to part the ocean and Alec will die trying. *sobbing* I'm fine :)

Competitive little shits kdhsjdjkd, although Alec does win this one... He has the psychopath father and all shit

Simon and Clary supremacy only!!

OMG Anjali and Rafael are absolute nerds and I'm love them jdhdjs

If we don't have a google folder together, then what the point??!?

They get turned on by the weirdest shit jdvsjdjs

Charlotte Fairchild is the most badass of all tbh

We all should be scared of Anjali😌

I like that Alec didn't make it hard for Rafael when he wanted to go to Stanford but I also expected more fight form him... And from Magnus oh gods why is this so fucking sad😭

I support Rosewood rights and wrongs!😎

The parallels of their pictures!! Max not giving a fuck and Rafael being so careful!! And the way Max is jealous of Rafael "having everything together" and Rafael being jealous of Max for being so "unafraid and chaotic" Brb I'm gonna cry..

I hate everyone. Magnus just gets dragged over and over. And the tweets holy fuck!! I hate that I laughed with the cinnamon roll one smh

“Will you keep an eye on him for me?” Rafael asks him instead. "Always,” David replies. 🥺🥺🥺

I understand Max being mad, but fuck if he didnt stressed me out so much here!!! Just, kindly stop :)

For whatever his issues, Max knows how to keep a promise. Not me crying over this😭

How do you make someone feel better if they aren’t feeling anything at all? Ok, that and the fact that the divorce issue starts here hurts a lot🙂 I love this chapter<3

I can't finish this Timeline for a few hours bc I have to get up (eww) but just some thoughts till now:

Note to self: This man is the bane of his existence. Pun intended.😂😂

Him always answering to the ones who need help got me emo for some reason🥺

I think of you everywhere💛 David really know how to go from horny to soft in 0.1 secs djhdjsksks

The staff is the real MVP here!! I love them all so much and they live in my head 24/7 and they are all amazing<33

Anyway, song rec: Be alright By Dean Lewis. Its really a shame cheating is not a trope here (its not, Idk how I would survived that shit jdhsjsj) because the playlist would be ✨stunning✨

Remeber to take a break when you need it. Byeee💚

GET THAT SLEEP GIRL. GET IT. WHOOOOOO.

If TLND had cheating, I would have thrown myself into the river (and i am like scared of rivers) gotta draw that angst line somewhere lol.

also, i may or may not have a magnus and camille playlist with a lot of cheating/toxic songs lol.

I feel like Be Alright is in the divorce au playlist (or maybe lbaf?) but there are too many songs there and I can't find it lol.

Sending you some sertonin. Have this song rec from my David playlist: Pomme - Ceux qui rêvent

#tlnd

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

#on love #love files #uquiz #mine #shut up queenie #long post

[hq-lovin]

heyo bean!!! could you do hcs where you’re bokuto, kuroo, yaku, and noya’s best friend/childhood friend?? thank you!! -✨

bokuto, kuroo, noya as bffs

heyoooo!! I’m sorry I didn’t do Yaku since I didn’t have any inspiration 😔 but I hope you enjoy the ones I did!

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

➣ pairing : bokuto/reader kuroo/reader noya/reader

➣ headcannons

➣ warning : slight manga spoilers on noya,

gif @volleygifs | @houseofkarasuno | @flowerymoments

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

kōtarō bokuto

Being besties with Bokuto is so much fun, being CHILDHOOD besties? Amazing. You’re probably used to all of the crazy antics and are desensitized to it.

You, Bokuto and Akaashi all hangout together and it’s basically just babysitting Bokuto half of the time and making sure he doesn’t die.

I feel like Bokuto’s just adopting introverted mom friends left and right so you’re probably gonna get thrown in the mix.

Being Bokuto’s bestie is an adventure, he’s a very chaotic baby who needs attention 24/7 and has unlimited supplies of energy.

You guys probably go on like 72627 adventures a day because he has an attention span of a chimpanzee.

Things like amusement parks, anything he can climb on, and children’s playgrounds are right up his alley.

“Bo you’re scaring the kids.”

“Nah they love me! Isn’t that right Timmy?”

“Bokuto he’s crying.”

Yes he accidentally scares off children because he gets too excited and wants to play with them, not realizing he’s this 6ft horned owl that’s climbing on the monkey bars.

He also does the crazy shit, like he will go swimming in that river. Yes right now, now hold his shirt as he strips into his underwear.

You have to help him not get into trouble by doing stupid things like that.

But don’t underestimate him, he has your back and will fight anyone who insults you on the spot. You and Akaashi have to hold him back.

“The hell did you say? That’s my best friend you’re talking about. No, no say it again.”

“Bokuto it’s fine—”

“FucK it uPp!!” “Konoha stOP.”

If you won’t let him fight anyone the he’s 150% taking you to an arcade and doing those punchy thingies, where you punch it and it shows your score.

He’s honestly your ride or die BFF, you know that meme where the guy wore booty shorts in a bathroom bc his friend needed sweatpants for a test? Yeah, that’s him.

“Bo I need your sweatpants so go hide in the bathroom with my shorts.”

“Aight.”

He just cares about you ��� he loves you a lot and no one gets to make fun of his awesome bestie.

tetsuro kuroo

Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting wars. Roasting—

“God, you looked like an idiot.”

“You’re calling me an idiot? Have you heard your dumb speech?”

“Excuse me? That speech’s for Kenma!”

“Kenma looks like he wants to die every time he hears it!”

This little shit is the most savage bestie you could have, y’all roast each other every single fucking day. Yaku and Kai are t i r e d.

Honestly, y’all are so mean to each other people actually think you guys hate each other, like the very first time Kai met you, he was more scared of you two than Kuroo and Yaku.

Oh my gosh, you guys are the biggest gossip buddies, have you seen him?? He’s the biggest volleyball gossip.

“Did you hear about Ushiwaka?”

“What? No? What happened?”

“Okay, so basically...”

If you were friends with him when you were younger there’s a good chance that you were friends with Kenma as well, so that’s fun.

Kenma’s honestly so done with the both of you 😳 he’s tired man, he just wants to play his video games in peace 😔

Most of the times when you guys hang out it’s just you recording Kuroo while he does the craziest shit.

He really does care about you though, even if most of the time he’s roasting you, he’s 100% all for fighting someone who disrespected you.

Or alternative choice:

You both go off on the person who was a jerk and they suffer in insults and roasts.

yū nishinoya

Nishinoya is such a bold, and adventurous character you just KNOW being friends with him would be the best.

You’d get him to do the wildest things, and he’d pull through 😳 don’t underestimate him. Just because he’s short doesn’t mean he won’t climb that 287272 ft tree.

You also helped him with all of his fears by daring him to do a bunch of crazy shit, followed by him yelling at you that he wasn’t sacred.

I mean,, his grandpa helped too

But this dude is so much fun to be around, like if you tell him you wanted to do something he’s already on to it.

“Noya where’re we going?”

“Skydiving, why?”

“I— WHAT”

He’d look at you with a confused stare and just tilt his head all innocent like: “did you not want to or??”

“I thought you wanted to go skydiving?”

“I meant in the future!”

Oh how the turns have tabled. He only smirks and practically drags you to the place where he forces you to skydive.

When you ask him why he tells you this:

“This was revenge for all the things you made me do when we’re like 8!”

“I- 😳”

After that he drags you to more fun adventures, like one time you him and Tanaka went out for milkshakes at 4 am in the morning, and then went to Daichi’s house to see if he was awake.

You, Tanaka, and Noya all share 1 braincell and lost it when Daichi whooped your asses.

Also another ride or die bff, and will throw hands at anyone who has beef with you.

Like, bby boi is short but it takes you, Tanaka and Daichi to stop him from fighting someone who said your hair looked w a c k.

“Say that again! Do it I dare you! See what happens I-”

Also protective over you, any person who tries to flirt with you has to go through Nishinoya because he’s not letting some douche bag asshat date his bestie 😊

And when the person breaks your heart, you already know he’s gonna throw hands.

“Let me at them! You can’t just do that to Y/n!”

“Noya stop oh my god!”

Once he calms down, he’s gonna raid the grocery store for the ice cream, candy, chocolate, because that’s what Kiyoko said to get.

God, he’s just an awesome bestie.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu nishinoya #bokuto kotaro #tetsuro kuroo #yu nishinoya #bokuto imagines #bokuto x reader #bokuto hcs #bokuto headcannons #bokuto scenarios #kuroo imagines #kuroo x reader #kuroo hcs #kuroo headcannons #kuroo scenarios #nishinoya imagines #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya hcs #nishinoya headcannons #bff

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

January AU Writing Challenge

I think at this point we all wish we could live in an Alternative Universe and for the month of January I will be. I am celebrating reaching 300 followers with a writing challenge! Thank you so much for your support and positivity! 

Each week will be a different theme and each day will have a prompt. You can send in asks for any of the characters below and I will update the list as we go! 

Make your requests HERE 

Characters to choose from: 

Pedro Boys: Javier Pena, Agent Whiskey, Oberyn Martell, Pero Tovar, Marcus Pike, Marcus Moreno, Maxwell Lord, Max Phillips, Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales, Ezra (Prospect), Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) 

Oscar Boys: Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia, Llewyn Davis, Nathan Bateman, Evgeni (W.E), Poe Dameron 

Week One Theme: College AU January 1st-7th 

1 - You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows- Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

2 - My friend dragged me to this party, and I just saw my ex quick make out with me -Javier Peña

3 -  My computer crashed, and you’re the student worker at the IT center. - Evgeni 

4- I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester. Why did you decide to sit in it today?-  Max Phillips 

5-  We’re studying in the library, and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks, and we keep sharing embarrassed glances - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

6 - I’ve ordered take out every night this week, and you always seem to be my delivery person

7 - Every single table in the union is full. Do you mind if I just sit here for a while? - Llewyn Davis 

Week Two Theme: Store AU (Book, flower, coffee shop)  January 8th-14th 

8 -  Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order- Maxwell Lord 

9 - At the coffee shop, there is a chess set in the corner, and every morning, I move one piece. Later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. I’m dying to know who I’m playing against. - Nathan Bateman 

10 - you give me a different fake name every time you come into Starbucks, and I just want to know your real name bc you’re cute, but here I am scribbling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino. - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

11 I like buying books at this one bookstore in particular because you work here and I think you’re cute au. - Oberyn Martell 

12 - I only came to this coffee shop bookstore cause I was thirsty and it was nearby, and I saw you reading and drinking at one of the tables and kept coming back au- Marcus Pike 

13 - when you paid for your book, you kept talking about how much you were looking forward to it, so I read it too out of curiosity, and we bonded over it au- Ezra (Prospect) 

14 - You buy a weird amount of flowers, and I’m concerned as to why- Ezra (Prospect) 

Week Three Theme: Modern AU January 15th- 21st 

15 - My pet ran away, I got fired from my job, it started raining out of nowhere, and I fell in the mud, and you’re just a random stranger at my bus stop, but I need someone to talk to. 

16 - I adopted a kid, and you help me take care of them all the time since we’re neighbors, but you came over and got so involved in the kid’s life so much they think that we’re both their parents instead of just me. - Marcus Moreno 

17 - I met you at a convention, and you’re cosplaying Person B to my OTP, and I’m cosplaying Person A

18- We’re internet friends, and we’re meeting up in real life today, and I’m super paranoid because what if you’re a deranged killer and– omg, you’re perfect. - Nathan Bateman 

19 - Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but can you go on the bungee jumping thing with me? Because I’m too scared to go by myself. - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

20 - You keep coming in to get your laptop fixed, but I’m pretty sure you’re breaking it on purpose, but you’re cute, so I’ll let it slide. - Marcus Moreno 

21 - We’re playing Monopoly in the local library, and the game just got serious; I think the librarians are about to kick us out. - Poe Dameron

Week Four Theme: Parents/Expecting Family AU  January 22nd - 28th 

22 - you’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated, and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “I’ll go,” I feel like we might as well be married. - Poe Dameron 

23 - our children are in the same class, and we both hate their teacher. Eventually, the parents’ evenings are just us competing who can call out snarkier comments. - Maxwell Lord (Also my darling Kat’s birthday) 

24 - our kid is only a year old, but they already rule the household and every single aspect of our lives. - Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales 

25 - we are the only two parents who agreed to attend the school trip (bonus: “so I guess we share this hotel room?”) - Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales 

26- “the scans have just come through, and it’s been revealed that we were wrong. You’re not having a baby…you’re having two! congratulations!” - Maxwell Lord 

27 - “fine, fine, fine. rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go calm down the baby.” “glad that we’re dealing with this like adults.” - Nathan Bateman 

28 - we left you to babysit our kid for literally three hours. What happened?!?- Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales (guest starring: Benny the babysitter)

Bonus Days 

29- Called tech support and flirted with the geek squad tech working the phones by themselves - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

30 - Ran into each other at the bookstore and tried to get the last copy. - Marcus Moreno 

31- We’ve been hooking up for the past few weeks, and holy shit, it turned out you’re my fifth grader’s teacher. Oh god, this embarrassing! - Maxwell Lord 

Taglist: @josepedropascal​ @mrschiltoncat​ @mrsparknuts​ @ghostwiththemostbitch​ @zannemes​ @oldstuffnewstuff​ @anetteaneta​ @a-seeker-of-imagination​ @artsymaddie​ @aellynera​ @lucifer-​ @houseofthirst​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @maxlordsgf​ 

#January Writing Challenge #AU Prompts #Pedro Pascal #Oscar Isaac #Autumn Writes

[hunbomb]

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are 

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :((((( 

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

#nct #nct dream #jaemin #na jaemin #nana #jaemin scenarios #jaemin scenario #jaemin x reader #jaemin blurbs #jaemin imagines #nct jaemin #nct na jaemin #nct bulleted au #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 #kpop #kpop scenarios

[taetaespeaches]

I thank God that this white hair hobi is now forever registered in music video form, i am honestly very thankful, red was my fav but..... damn my lord, white hair hobi gets me going, and short hair, in the unboxing video they said hobi was kind of afraid of short hair that's why he always had it quite long but, babe!!! MY LORD you look yummy, bless u

ALSO, speaking of hair i want to say something, i know everyone was 'wow long hair jungkook', and me too of course i'm only human, but this short black emo hair jungkook i'm-

i am in love, i am SO real when i say is my favourite on him, i feel like THAT'S HIM that's fucking jungkook in all his glory with his fake/nonfake piercing and tattoos and fucking attitude, i'm sold boy, take me and do your worst

ALSO LOOK AT YOU MANIFESTING STUFF i srsly gasped when i saw him in front of the washing machines, then the peaches i'm like wHat!

and this past month has been me thinking "yoongi is so sexy" that's it, blonde yoongi and now sort of blue/gray ish yoongi, YES SIR, and i feel like i've seen him more happy? i don't know, look its been just a year and a half of me becoming an army, and i know yoongi is not the cold serious person that he appears and everyone reads, but if i compare old videos to last year videos and then to this year videos, i feel the difference, i see him so happy and more free somehow, i mean the honey boy has been glowing with success after success and it shows, sweet sweet amazing sexy boy i lovE him and i'm whipped

Liv, you did the bra thing and i died, i love everything but the most precious thing was nervous hoseok, like he didn't really say much and i could feel him lmao, Petal is my rock, Petal is love, Petal is badass, come at her Namjoon, if you dare!!!!!

I havent write you a bible in a while, and not a lot happened except that i am becoming more adult, it's annoying, long story short i had to get into a treatment with birth control pills bc my period was like 'NAH, i ain't going down' for almost 4 months and i got hella scared (haha it wasn't even funny the state i was in bc of stress), got blood tested for a million things and turns out only one hormone was the problem so... adulting is HARD, i mean i am thankfull it was only that, but here's a tip, DON'T EVER GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS! that shit says you'll die in 3 days ! But we're okay, a little more poor but we're safe and sound enjoying namjoon's huge arms and pecks :)

and last but not least, slowly but surely i'm gonna start using my other tumblr, and will try my best to make gifs and edits again, OH how i miss my one and only boyfriend *photoshop*, so, someday i will stop sending asks from stainofpaint and annoy you from, *drumroll*: @princehoseok -that's right my lord got his title with me

so that's all for now, i'm at my work and i'm bored as hell but also sleepy, i'm eating breakfast praying the phone doesn't ring

i love you liiiiiiiiiiv, you're a dancing queen btw!!! ♥

HOBI'S HAIR LOOKS SO GOOD!!!! I love the short white hair, like it's hoseok, he looks amazing with any hair but THIS is a fucking look for him. And I have to say, I definitely adore Jungkook's short hair. I was a long hair enthusiast but this short black hair on him is AMAZING!!!!

Lmao I really have been manifesting stuff like wtf?! It's kind of freaking me out hahahaha

I agree, I think yoongi is looking a lot more carefree and happy and I think it's because of his shoulder honestly. I just think not being in pain 24/7 has lifted a weight and he's just like fucking vibing and feeling good now. I LOVE to see it!!!! He was honestly glowing in both the butter and ptd mvs. I just love to see honey boy honey boying.

Ahahaha I'm glad you enjoyed the fic!!! Petal is THAT bitch and we will not be debating that. She's the queen. Period.

Oh gosh that sounds very scary and completely unpleasant :( I'm really happy you got it all figured out!! And that it's not as bad as google made it seem it could be lol. In my case with my diabetes, google was correct :/ lmaoooo

Omg yay that's so exciting!!! I can't wait to see all your gifs and edits!!! It'll be super nice for you to have that creative outlet again! and oof I love that url!

I hope work went on without any phone calls lol. Love you Lyd!! And oh goodness I suppose I am hahaha (that doesn't mean it's good I just.. move lol)

#stainofpaint #asks #ahhhh the return of the massive asks :( i love it #i'm happy your health stuff is better now #experiencing symptoms is just so scary so i'm glad the stress is lessened now #lydia🤟

[richietoaster]

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

#it chapter 2 #it chapter two spoilers #IT CHAPTER TWO #it chapter 2 spoilers #IT SPOILERS #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stanley uris

[ixnova]

AhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH i want to lie in the woods scream at the crows and ROT like god DAMMIT.

Cant fucking do or say anything right. Everything i do or say taken out of context mis understood just makes shit worse! Cant vent! Cant scream into the void! What other friends i have no friends! Everyone i talk to i eventually turn away because im just toxic tm its been KNOWN like i never fucking learn to keep my clown mouth SHUT. Whenever i meet ppl i like i end up unintentionally picking fights and having them amd and upset and it feels like all the goddamn time!!! Im so tired!!! I just want genuine interactions!!!!! Its so hard to trust people i cant even trust my own parents and its always im the problem!!! If i try to adjust im still the problem!!! Im never good for anything!!!!

I dont recall ever insulting people but when i say how im feeling from stuff its oh im in the wrong im making others feel bad!!! Its never like wow why does nova feel like that if given xyz. I still wanna like everyone but i cant open up and fit in because i just cannot trust anymore!!! I cannot handle anything negative because i get scared abd paranoid bc i am SO INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP.

It runs so deep its just so much more than that and its not just me assuming shit but no one gets it no one understands my mind and life is like a living hell im trapped i want out i crave death 24/7. I hate myself most of all like im not mad at anyone im just so incrediably fed up with myself!!!

I scream into the void sometimes because i HAVE NO OUTLET. I have 2 options i used to only have one. And when ones asleep if i have issues with the other i SCREAM because no one else actually does care enough! Like its not like what they assume at ALL but its always the fucking case im always the bad guy im used to that at this point but FUCK ME dude im so tired. I want out out out outtttttt

I hate hate hate hateeeeeeeeeeweeeee doesnt amtter nova revils magic emily go choke and die it doesnt MATTERRRRRR

[wretcheddthing]

1-50, go :)

Oh geez holy shit okay gimme like a Second

Edit: Bet

1. do you have a crush on anyone? no and frankly the idea kinda scares me atm

2. what's your favorite candy? i think crunch bars but i'm also very fond of sour gummy worms

3. favorite love song? Here is my Jonmartin playlist god bless

4. what was your first kiss like? well the very first was just like. idk a lil peck, nothing special. the "first" that probably meant anything was uhhhhhhhhhhhh awkward. i'm not bad at kissing, on this i am confident, but it wasn't Great.

5. what was your last kiss like buddy you think i remember that? no one wanna kiss me no more :(

6. sexual/romantic orientation? lesbiab, babiiieieee

7. do you prefer poems or love letters? love letters 🥺

8. favorite fanfic trope FAKE MARRIAGE. THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED. ENEMIES TO LOVERS.

9. have you ever been in love? nope lmao

10. favorite milkshake flavor? strawbebbie :)

11. dinner dates or brunch dates brunch omg by dinner dates seem too romantic and i just don't think i'm cut out for that

12. favorite flowers I answered this one already <3

13. favorite perfume/cologne? idk names or such but i like citrusy scents also i always read cologne like "balogna"

14. favorite candle scent? i got this minty one that smells heavenly but my absolute favorite was this peach scented candle i got from the fall festival we do every year in town and i have not been able to find them since it's been four years and that candle is almost completely burnt out but i keep it for the smell because it's divine........

15. what's your ideal first date? i'm not sure about ideal but the best first date i've ever been on was we went to the movies, got some dinner, and then hit up a haunted house and she gave me kis :0

16. favorite love story? Have You Seen The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephan Sommers starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz?

17. what's the most attractive thing a person could wear?

[image description: black booty shorts with white trim with the words "Ceaseless watcher turn your gaze upon this wretched thing" in neon green script across the ass. end desc.]

18. chocolate, vanilla, or red velvet? Chocolate thank u

19. snow, rain, or sun? inside

20. sweetest romantic memory? that's for me <3

21. favorite dating sim (and favorite character?) i don't play dating sims i'm sorry

22. fictional crushes? that's a whole can of worms we're not gonna open (mercy overwatch, evy the mummy, melanie king tma <3)

23. what's your dream wedding like? tbh i literally just wanna get married in a scottish castle like that's the only wedding idea i've had since i was little

24. what makes you blush WHAT DOESN'T. WHAT DOESN'T MAKE ME BLUSH ACTUALLY.

25. do you believe in love at first sight? i do not but only bc it hasn't happened to me

26. do you believe in soulmates? i like the concept and i think there are people you can be just innately drawn to but probably no idk. i have my people and that's all i can ask for

27. denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets? i bought all three

28. what's your sign? virgo (i'm sorry)

29. are you single? yes and probs gonna be that way for a while

30. do you prefer to charm, or be charmed? i am charmed constantly but if i can manage to charm someone Well Then

31. guitar or piano Piano bc that's the one i can play

32. favorite romcom? Have You Seen The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers starring Brenden Fraser and Rachel Weisz?

33. do you fall in love easily? already answered this too but also no

34. valentine's decorations: yay or nay? hard nay get it away from me

35. would you prefer to propose or be proposed to? what's your dream proposal? tbh if it's something we've discussed and think is fitting i'd be down to just. let it happen. casually, privately. something just for us.

36. cloud gazing or star gazing? STAR GAZING

37. do you like to dance? no because i can't do it and it makes me feel weird about having a physical form

38. what's your OTP? take a guess. take a wild guess. look at my blog and take a Guess.

39. kittens or puppies? kittens :)

40. coffee, hot chocolate, or tea? they're all friends

41. favorite soda? orange fanta :)

42. do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa? i'm a wistful window gazer, definitely. most of my job is staring wistfully out of a window.

43. favorite ABBA song? great question. there's mama mia that gets me pumped and then there's the few that make me cry.

44. fuck/marry/kill You didn't give me anyone but just know i'm killing elias bouchard

45. favorite pajamas? i do not wear those

46. favorite liquor? peach schnapps

47. do you think about love a lot? technically but not for me <3

48. a walk in the park or a walk on the beach? beach beach beach beach beach beach beach

49. hand kisses or nose kisses?

Hand. Kisses.

50. what's your dream house? i wanna live in scotland idk man i just kinda have always felt a pull there. but also in a cottage by loch ness in the town where my great uncle lived.

#asks #desotosdarling

[wintersxsoul]

SO SHOOT US, WE WERE DATING!

Summary: Reverse Fake Dating Undercover Cops! AU

Pairing/s: Bucky x Reader / Steve x Sam / Nat x Sharon

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Tbh we dont know ?? we just love being a mess together I guess,, we had to do it to ‘em. We even made moodboards, enjoy our masterpiece.

A/N: So, two crackheads, aka @trashpanda-barnes and yours truly, decided after a long intense brainstorming session to put this ramblings together to create this crackheadassery show. Buckle up for a part 2 laid ease and gentle ants.

Shay: this was our first time sharing a googledoc and HOLYSHIT technology has come so far, its a miracle Lydia hasn’t killed me yet bc of all the font-changing I kept doing constantly. anyway... we done did a thing, fellas! Our two collective braincells present… this.

Bucky and Y/n have been dating for almost three years, they are both cops in the same squadron, so it’s forbidden for them to date. But they said: fuck this shit and now they even live together, but…. secretly.

Steve is also a cop in the same precinct and he is dating Sam, a pastry chef.

Y/n and Bucky have to infiltrate in a Biker Gang for a case and of course pretend they are not actually in love or anything pfft why would anybody think that?? They are just roommates, right???

They flirt with random members of the gang to avert suspicions and then give advice to each other to make it seem more real.

One day, Bucky accidentally tells Y/n, "You're absolutely right, honey!" and everyone just stares at him so he just...he has to start calling everyone pet names 24/7. It’s his new personality trait so he has to answer with a pet name to even the big boss. “Have a nice day today, James.” Bucky just nods at him smiling, but since everyone is staring at him, he swallows thickly and answers: “You too, sugar.”

Everytime that happens, Y/n is just hollering with Natasha, a member of the gang. Nat is fierce and ruthless, the only one that hasn’t got a pet name. One time Bucky tried, but she just looked him dead in the eye and warned, “don’t.” And that was it. Best day of both girl’s lives at the gang was the day Bucky told Thor, the most dangerous looking dude, “Love your bike, doll.” Thor had smiled widely at that compliment.

The dudes on the gang decided they wanted a bonding moment so they all went to get tacos. They drop Y/n at home and it’s funny to her because Bucky can't get off so he just awkwardly waves goodbye at her in front of the building of THEIR shared apartment. So he just directs them to Steve's place and he’s like "Hey Steve! Can you buzz me in, babe?!" and Steve of course is all "the fuck you on about?! What the hell are you doing here???"

And those big bulky dudes outside are confused and kinda suspicious so Bucky is like "We had a fight.... he's still mad at me" he says like the liar he is. So he tries again and yells at Steve over the buzzer "hEY OPEN UP STEVE, IT’S ME PLEASE WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, I PROMISE, IM SORRY BABE BUT I AM HOME NOW."

Steve has Sam over, and this was their date night and Steve promised, he promised Sam he’d stop bringing his work home. So he is like "this is not the time, I’m with Sam right n—"

bucky interrupts "SAAAAME YES, I WISH I was with you, same babe same... please buzz me in??" Steve just hangs up like, “goodnight, Bucky”

The dudes are sympathetic and are like.. "sorry your boyfriend ain't letting you in man. Hey, you wanna crash at any of ours?"

So Bucky just sighs and nods, texting Y/n to tell her he’s crashing at this super huge dude’s house, Riley.

Riley looks so fucking frightening but he is actually super soft and lives with his equally soft girlfriend, Aaliah.  

And they have two adopted stray dogs. And both of the dogs really take to Bucky.

One is a golden yellow and the other is a soft white. The white one, Bucky notices, is missing a leg.

“Lost it in a car accident”, Riley tells Bucky, “We’re just glad he came out of it alive” And the dog gives Bucky’s face a big fat lick. “What’s he called?” “oh, Winter” and Bucky near-about cries. Y/n’s phone blows up with 500 images of Bucky with the dogs alone. The golden one, Bucky learns is called, Summer.

He's an especially big fan of Riley’s cookies. Riley loves being a part of the gang but he also has a pastry business on the side. Bucky buys a shitton of cookies to take home.

He calls Y/n next morning to tell her they should go to the shelter and adopt as many cats and dogs as they can, and Y/n just sighs because she knows she can’t fight Bucky over this. “Who’ll look after then when we’re at the precinct?” Y/N tries to point out but Bucky is like, “Easy. We just take them to the precinct with us.”

Natasha eventually figures out that they are dating, and interrogates Y/n about their actual purpose in the gang.

Y/n blows up the cover and explains that they are trying to find a gang that sells drugs and that their Captain, Nick Fury, thought they were responsible. After a few months undercover, they realize they all are just soft bikers that like to dress in black leather and chunky boots.

Nat is actually scary, at least that’s what Bucky thinks, but Y/n has seen her with Liho, Nat‘s cat, and she is sure that she just likes to mess with the guys and scare them.

Y/n makes Nat swear not to tell the others yet, and Nat is actually the one who offers a lead about the gang that was actually selling drugs.

“See? if you’d just come clean right up front you wouldn’t have wasted your time chasing the wrong lead” she rebukes Y/n. “But then I’d never have been friends with you, Nat” she nudges Nat’s shoulder and there’s that hint of that signature smile on Nat’s lips.

Y/n tells Bucky about the lead and they decide to shadow that gang on a stakeout and just as Nat had suggested, they catch the actual culprits red-handed, bringing the case to a close.

Thor and Riley are devastated when Bucky comes clean and tells them he has to leave them. “but we can walk our dogs together every morning, Riley!”

Once the case is closed, Bucky and Y/n decide to tell everyone that they’ve been dating for a few years and their squadron just sigh loudly.

Sharon is like, “What? We still gotta pretend we didn’t know? oh okay.”

“You guys KNEW?” “Of course we did,” Tony shakes his head, as he mockingly says, “oh my god they were roommates.”

Clint just sadly passes Fury a tenner. “I bet that you’d keep it a secret for five years.” he shakes his head at them, “I trusted you guys. But look at me, I’m poor now!” “what did Fury bet?” Bucky asks curiously. “that you’d mess up before this month ends.” Fury says before going back into his office.

Steve just glares at Sam once they find out, mouthing a “shut up” when his boyfriend tells him all proudly “I told you they were fucking!”.

Sam and Riley became good friends when they discovered their shared passion.

So they all live happily ever after, especially Bucky, cause he got to eat Riley’s cookies almost every morning while they walked Winter, Summer and Storm, his and Y/n’s puppy.

Y/n and Natasha became inseparable and thanks to that, Sharon and Nat started dating.

As Bucky said, they take the puppy to the precinct, everyone falling in love with the little fur ball. Y/n hates to admit it, but she adores Storm. And a few months later, she convinces Bucky to adopt a black cat. “Isn’t Storm gonna be jealous? Or what if they start fighting?” Y/n of course just shrugs and ignores Bucky’s protests. “they’ll keep each other company when we’re at work. Otherwise Storm will get lonely. And sad. Do you want to see Storm sad?” “No,” Bucky pouts, “fine we’re getting a cat. We’re proper parents now, doll. Whaddya say to that?” “We should buy stuff for them then, Detective... and who knows we might even have to get married?”

Bucky just smiles. He has the perfect proposal planned. Soon.

#bucky barnes x reader #reverse fake dating au #fake dating au #cop au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #james bucky barnes #steve rogers #steve x sam #sharon x natasha #undercover cop #cop!bucky #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #this was hilarious to make tbh #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #lokissoul #trashpanda-barnes

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

#lord of the flies #lotf #lotf 1990

[hotchupacabrasinmyarea]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

can be used for RP  &&  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen

1. FIRST NAME  : cline 

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF  : i can’t drink tea. it’s not that i dislike it, there’s some tea flavors that are really good! but tea...drinking it, being around it for too long (as in i can’t go into a fucking teavanna for v long)...it makes my head fuzzy and i start feeling dizzy so i have to sit down. it seems apple cider has a similar effect, but it’s worse when it’s hot. and it’s definitely not the caffeine bc i subsist on caffeine. but like i don’t know if “fresh air” helps bc my best friend dragged me to teavanna at a mall and even when i left the store and sat down on a bench it took me a WHILE to even begin feeling better. don’t know what it is! 

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON  : i...hm. i don’t really know what i find attractive in real people? because it’s pretty all over the place. fictional characters is like... glasses, long hair, and women who can kill me

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF  : i am a highly picky eater so i don’t know i actually have smth that fits this, but probably potatoes...and i have an issue where my body doesn’t like eating things after having them for a while so!! 

5. A FOOD YOU HATE  : cabbage. mushrooms. bacon. tomatoes. don’t like most steaks, either. 

6. GUILTY PLEASURE  :  i feel guilty for every pleasurable thing i do so joke’s on you but i sure love collecting pins and my father gives me shit for it!!!

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN  :  ask my partner and they will tell you--i hate shirts. so honestly? my underwear LMAO. otherwise comfy shirts and softe pants. 

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS  : ooc--serious relationships. ic--depends on the muse. date here is “what he thinks are flings but turn into serious relationships” honestly. 

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE  ,  WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE  : hahahaha boi this is a question you should Never ask me. if it was something that i could Change No Matter What? then that’d be my mom dying. if it’s smth that’s dependent upon my own power then i would’ve just...idk. ig talked to her abt some stuff that i need answers to and also say goodbye properly. 

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON  :  very!!! esp when i’ve had alcohol then i tell my friends how much i love them repeatedly 

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN  :  barbie princess and the pauper barbie princess and the pauper barbie princess and the pau

12. FAVORITE BOOK  :  oh damn. i haven’t like, actually read a book in so long. i would probably say....dealing with dragons tho, the first book in the enchanted forest chronicles. 

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE  : i just want a cat. and a dog. i want a POM. i know this is supposed to probs be like for exotic pets but even in a world where i can acquire one--not happening. 

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS   (  IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG  ,  YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL  )  : okay umm...hm. top ships rn on date are just date/yomiel, date/kite, date/anna--they’re ALL GOOD. but ough otherwise? sunshine cupcake, fluri, wrightworth, science richass, and juleezen the moon is beautiful tonight. what are half of those ships you ask? it is a mystery ;)

15. PIE OR CAKE  : hmm...i think i like more cakes than i like pies ngl

16. FAVORITE SCENT  :  pink. just. just pink. i went to bath and body works and bought p much every pink soap i could find. 

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH  :  lynda carter probably 

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO  : hmm...i would like to go to japan. but only if my partner is with me. 

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT  :  introverted as HELL. i go thru long periods of no human interaction and i build up my energy and then expend it all at once and then i have to go home and die. 

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY  : nnnnot really when it comes to horror. but irl? i hear a strange noise late at night or if i’m alone? a man raises his voice? i’m in fuckin fight or flight mode baybee

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID  : android bc it’s. the only type of phone i’ve had gksehgh

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES  : yea. like so many. (gestures @ aitsf??) i like visual novels, jrpgs, and calm shit like animal crossing & story of seasons. literally like. all my current muses (and strongest in reserve muses) are from viddy games. also if i don’t answer ur messages assume i’m either playing pocket camp or sleeping. 

23. DREAM JOB  : 50s housewife. which...is very similar to what sanchan mun said HM. i would love to be an author deadass. and childhood me yells “ballerina” in my ear. but i haven’t done ballet since preschool rip...

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS  :  i would...buy myself and my partner a cute lil house. and some pets. and save for our singular child. and also pay for our wedding. and donate to all my friends who need it...

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE  : matoba seiji? it’s on fucking sight. 

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER  : on god? i feel like quite a few. but there’s one in particular that’s a very cursed...VERY CURSED series and i don’t want to admit to it. 

TAGGED BY  :  sandalphon! 

TAGGING  : Y O U 

#ɪғ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ…ᴀᴍ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ? [OOC] #ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ [MEMES]

[perplexing-pipe-dream-blog]

Social Distancing - Day 7, The first week.

I swear it doesn’t feel like just a week ago things were normal. 

A week ago I was going to work, going to the gym 3-4 days a week for about a month, eating healthy and shit. A week ago things were looking up for the better, and honestly, I had some optimism for the next couple of months. I planned on going to more social events with friends and stop flaking for the sake of my anxiety, I planned on saving more money to actually enjoy things people my age should, soooooo many things I kept in mind to stay optimistic-

and then Corona came.

FREAKOUT LEVEL 1 - Concerned but excited

I work in a school so we’re out for the rest of the 19-20 school year. I was okay with the idea, because then i could focus on other shit to better myself! Yay!

oh no, i can’t move into my new house in 2 weeks anymore because the fucking realtor won’t meet my mom in person to TELL HER WHAT THE FUCK IS UP AND WHEN WE MOVE IN because she’s scared of Corona.

FREAKOUT LEVEL 2 - Overthinking, Deep thought for 2+ hours

I stay with my mom for the financial ease, that and I don’t feel emotionally and mentally ready to be alone. 

She’s a part time nurse.

oh no, Corona cases in my city.

Oh my fucking god I hate people on Facebook spreading false information to scare people! I hate them more because it’s getting to me! That never happens!

FREAKOUT LEVEL 3 - Overthinking the near future, can’t stop scrolling through FB, Spending all my money on food and necessities because everyone else is taking EVERYTHING and I don’t know what to PREPARE FOR.

My neighbor is a young man and his son. 

The son loves basket-ball. 

The dad put a basketball hoop on the wall that the son and I share. I think Dad is cognitively delayed by choice. *It basically means stupid, but saying it like that bc it offends people better.

Son likes to play basketball all fucking day. I hear everything. Dad and Son like to wrestle and scream “WHOOOOOO WOOOHOOOOOO” which is followed by loud thumping. 

Mom says we move in end of April, beginning of May.

She doesn’t fucking know, but she likes to make it look like it.

I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FOR ANOTHER 3 MONTHS

I can tell she looks at the noise lightly because her room is not much affected. 

I always get the short end of the fucking stick wherever I fucking live. 

FREAKOUT LEVEL 6 - Wondering if I am going to coincidentally die from this virus because of my health issues, Mom nurse isn’t worried bc she’s a nurse and she thinks that makes sense, wondering if my mom will be effected by the virus because of her own health issues. Worrying about grandparents at home. 

I want to skin my neighbors alive and burn their house down. 

I don’t want my mom to keep going to work and exposing herself and me.

I already devised a solid plan on how to burn my neighbor’s backyard without detection.

I am starting to resent the people sending me different types of shit about the virus and the government because they know they don’t know if it’s true. 

FUCK they closed the fucking gym!

Freakout Level 2 - Acceptance of the (pan/epi)-demic, Frequent hand washing, Muting people on social media, Meditate, lingering anger and worry 

I guess I’ll be Housebound 22-24/7 hours a week.

Tons of PS2, PS3, and PS4 games I’ve been meaning to revisit in the name of nostalgia. 

Preparing to roll a blunt as we speak (or type? lol)

#bpdiaries #bpd #diaries #social distancing #quarentine

[fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher]

it’s time for ~a year in review~

JANUARY

ya bitch went to paris and became like good, like REALLY good friends with my current roommates!!! we got to see some really beautiful sights, do some STRANGE things like watch a french indie movie and get fucked up at a french gay party club in the basement of our hostel. i apparently shaved my head again (per the use lets be real)

FEBRUARY

accidentally started my Com capstone like a total moron but took it like a mf champ. got to party at a friends place and watch all of “dont hug me im scared”. made a friend try a grap for the first time (he was a sophomore in college). studied a lot with kelli -- and by studying i mean we mostly bullied each other. WENT TO SEE WATSKY with a super dope friend (sad we fell out of touch but she’s living her best life and im happy for her). also like got to meet george watsky uhm WHAT wild. bullied my college in the snow and also manically shoveled the walk. was a bootlicker for the college and dressed in a taco suit

MARCH

WOOF i got pretty fucked up for capstones cast party and this is where the beginning of the end was for some of my friendships. however, other friendships were being built so im grateful for that. ran lights for a really awesome slam poet. FOUND THE KEY THAT WAS MISSING FROM THE THEATRE (turns out it was Sab whoops). spent a lot of time with someone who is no longer a friend -- her choice, certainly not mine. went home for spring break and took so many pictures of my cat. got selected as stage manager for comedy of errors which was a nightmare of a production but certainly not the worst.

APRIL

became a vegetarian!!!! joined/started the flat earth cult because of comedy. helped randi film her weird videos, which was so much fun! the bat came back to the theatre and Basil and I both saw them. comedy of errors opened and it was intense and i really hated every second. ranted about being in a scene for directing, which means i’d been in it for a second. that shit sucked bros oh my god????? he was never on time, he was so disorganized and didn’t understand his own character. organized a dinner for the cast because they had missed a campus dinner for the show. celebrated my best friends birthday!!!! “I can read!” was on the news with two others for comedy. also presented my capstone research for academic showcase day (i still can’t believe people listened to me rant about birth order)

MAY

more videos! this one was zak bagel bites with again my best friends. was elected president for APO and i couldn’t be more grateful. did a research proposal with a friend and i cannot BELIEVE we’re still friends after it because we really could have killed each other. physically fought the MONSTER that is jess (didn’t actually, really should have). helped two friends fall in love on accident/purpose. was elected as KPY president (damn) and forcibly elected as parliamentarian for LPH. ended my junior year. started work immediately after going home for my dad. mostly answered phones, worked 7:30-5 every day for the whole summer yikes. managed to pass junior year with a 4.0!!!

JUNE

 learned a lil how to quote and did NOT enjoy it. went to PRIDE with my wife and bought my first ace flag. it was actually petrifying to buy and wear, but i have one now which is awesome. holy shit got my first tattoo!!! it has faded a bit now but still looked awesome. it was the beginning of an addiction. picked up an internship at my old theatre company and... deeply regretted it as it pushed my 12 hour days to almost 18 hours. literally fell in love with the music director. 

JULY

a random woman complimented me??? so that was fun. watched after my old band directors kids (they were a nightmare i literally never want kids). got to hike and do all that fun stuff. went to the local county fair

AUGUST

my mom admitted to loving brooke more than me on her birthday (fair). got a card from my office team to celebrate my 21st a lil early. went back for SENIOR YEAR BOYS. got drunk at an old friends place. did marching band. moved in with two of my BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. took improv with friends which was lit. we even did a whole performance. met a new friend! my other roommate brought in a new kitten (which became a whole thing holy shit). used school sanctioned ipads to dick around. shaved my head againnnn. was sober at a party (woof why). got the drunkest i have ever been and puked everywhere and passed out on the stairs. have not ever reached that level again. also cracked my phone. fully assumed position as president of two clubs. started rhetoric (yucky) and theatre and diversity (also ick but for different reasons)

SEPTEMBER

became NOT sober literally the next day nice. started the MASH group i think??? which is like the only thing im proud of. it was around here. had to pick up a friend whos car broke down. went to pride in a local town with friends!!! that was fun. turned 21!! couldn’t celebrate bc school and stage management, but my two roommates still made sure i had a good time. marching band boys! we did a LONG ASS parade with my cute lil section. did mixers for KPY and APO! had our first football game. held a band rehearsal in the dark because the lights didn’t work which was funny and SO weird. walked to the trains with some really awesome friends. broke into the cemetery and stole a traffic cone and put it on a statue on campus bc mania. went to a friends musical career takeoff and ran her merch table bc the person who was supposed to run it showed up almost an hour late. someone showed up at the lib while i was closing with a friend asking for a place to stay. i hope hes good now. tried omegle again for whatever reason. tried to go to a local diner and was DENIED bc they went from 24 hours to closing at 10pm so i had a mental breakdown in my car at 2am in a McDonalds parking lot. FINALLY got to celebrate my birthday and go to the bars!!! well bar singular. but had a really good time even if those people aren’t really my friends any more

OCTOBER

homecoming boysssss!!!! also ace pride. worked the WORST thing I have ever had to operate in the chapel but the people were nice about it so i was kinda okay. also got to be a part of the dopest percussion show and ran lights and sound for it. rhetoric ended thank christ and i never want to talk about anti-war messages in MASH ever again. finally learned that my best friend has a partner and was ECSTATIC. worked a haunted house which literally sucked so hard but we made bank on it so im okay with it. were robbed (i still have suspicions who did it but ill keep my mouth shut). dressed up as a newsie for halloween, and my roommates and i all took pictures which was awesome. started my internship and movement and stage

NOVEMBER

LAST FOOTBALL GAME got drunk too often probably lol. got an impulse tattoo with my roommates. went to a soccer game. went to the trains drunk and also olive garden. did trauma training so i got to act hysterical (act?). did some KPY bonding. had a hella long saturday with a concert and everything. shot my shot and MISSED. did greek thanksgiving. played DD for someones birthday bc expired license. got my NEW license. had a horrible time driving to and from thanksgiving break. got to hang with my WIFE

DECEMBER

made it home somehow?? did box office for the children’s show as well as publicity which was a lot of work tbh. went on a double date with my roommates and their partner. did the filming for the college christmas card. had an awesome party at our place and i regret nothing. celebrated the moving out of our 4th roommate. worked my last gig at the museum. managed to scrape by again with a 4.0. threw a great party at my place for like 5 days straight (jesus christ). did a horrible puzzle. tried an edible (suffered for it). hiked in the mountains a lil. caught up with high school friends by drinking which was AWESOME. saw Frozen 2. went out with my fam bam. had a great christmas. also threw a new years party (what??? that just got over) and felt like a pretty good hostess (i just provided alcohol lol but it worked) and got to catch up with some great great awesome friends and keep people safe and off the roads for new years. 

all in all a damn good year. its crazy how quickly things change, but im grateful for the place that i am in. can’t wait to graduate this year and see what happens next!!!

#firefly talks #we're already planning a mash party boys #its gonna be a great last semester i cant wait

[agayworthfightingfor]

do all the identity asks!!

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read: Chameleon Moon by @thesylverlining, it perfectly encompasses just.. who I am, what I’m about. Everything is going to be okay, because we’re not gonna stop trying until it is okay.

Watch: Uh... honestly I don’t really know. I don’t watch things??

Listen to: Wolf 359. Eiffel is... very me. Episode 51 (Shut Up and Listen) really kind of... gave me the drive to just keep going, keep fighting, keep trying to be the best version of myself I can be. It was released exactly when I needed to hear it

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Terry Pratchett’s writing style is very, very similar to how words form in my brain. I started reading Soul Music (wasn’t able to get very far, it didn’t keep my attention) and was just like Well Shit.

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Undertale/Deltarune: Ralsei

Chameleon Moon: Gabriel (and Rose, and Rowan, and Finn... and like half the cast lmao)

SAYER: Dr. Brady, probably. I don’t particularly identify with anyone but his eternal exasperation with everyone on his team is a fucking mood

The Penumbra Podcast: Rita, though I aspire to have Peter Nureyev’s fashion sense.

Wolf 359: Eiffel

Uhh, I don’t think I’m really in a lot of other fandoms?

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

I mean I picked this one myself, so I like it quite a lot. :p

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I uh... tend to place my worth on how much I’ve accomplished, which for someone with disabilities is kinda unhealthy tbh?

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Spiritual, definitely, though I’m still working out a lot of fuckery around it. I’m also pretty strongly connected to being UU, bc that’s how I grew up and it’s shaped a lot of who I am

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

Uhh. I mean I’m white and like I’m aware of that, idk really how to answer this question?

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

My Chemical Romance got me through the worst parts of my life. Uh... I’m a bit brainfogged so I can’t think of much else.

9. are you an artist?

Yup! :D

10. do you have a creed?

Not... really? I try to keep to my word and be kind to others, but thats it.

11. describe your ideal day.

Uh... I wake up, I get to snuggle all my partners, there’s good food, I get to play fun games, more Chameleon Moon content is up... yeah.

12. dog person or cat person?

Both!!!! Also rabbits!

13. inside or outdoors?

Inside pls, outside is cold and when it’s not there’s bugs.

14. are you a musician?

Mhm! I play clarinet and I really like to sing (though I’m a bit shy about singing in front of people)

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

1. Chameleon Moon2. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (kept me sane when I was in and out of the hospital)3. Eragon (One of my first headmates was a fictive of Arya)4. Uhh... can’t think of any more honestly.

16. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

Definitely not.

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Yeah it’s pretty good, I think I come off pretty accurately.

18. what’s your patronus?

A lynx!

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Hufflepuff all the way lmao

20. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

Uh... anywhere that has magic I can use tbh.

21. do you love easily?

Yup, probably too easily tbh. I love quickly and I love intensely.

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

1. Dissociating2. Loving my partners3. Talking to folks on Discord4. Playing Overwatch5. Watching Youtube

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

Maybe like... 2-3 times? Not super often but not never.

24. have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

Not entirely sure what you mean, but if you mean like being super in sync with someone, then @f0xf0ce and I are always like that lol

25. could you live as a hermit?

Oh god no, I start to have issues when I don’t get physical affection for like a couple hours.

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

I have no clue lmao

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

On days where I can manage to like. dress up and look okay then yes. Gremlin!me is not a great representation of actual!me

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

Certain things set me off at like a 3, but honestly overall it’s more like a 7, it’s really not that easy to actually piss me off.

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

Far From Perfect - Rise AgainstScared to Death - HIM Wired Wrong - Steam Powered Giraffe

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

Uhhhh.... idk tbh? too brainfogged to answer

#Anonymous