#i probably haven't revised this enough but oh well

[starmonsterrr]

Introducing: Undertale self-insert #102480125 (Version 1.0)

HELLO HELLO SO I KNOW I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH INKTOBERTALE BUT SHUSH I NEED TO INTRODUCE IO'S "CREATOR" COUNTERPART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you haven't already read the introduction post of my primary Undertale 'sona' i advice you to do so. here's the link to it

DRRRRRRRRRUMMMROLLLLLLL

NOTE: THE REF NEEDS TO BE UPDATED

THIS THANG TOOK LIKE FOREVER TO FIGURE OUT BUT NOW I AM FREE FROM THE PAIN

Now it's time to explain the physics of this hhh

Aurum doesn't live inside the UTMV, but rather, exists as a creator for it, and lives in the fandom itself. That "fandom" location functions as a realm that allows for creativity from beings living in our world to brew and develop further to then take form in the UTMV itself, and is also where Creators can interact with eachother, no matter the distance.

Aurum cannot interact directly with the UTMV, but, due to being a Creator, is able to craft things and characters that live within it.

To do this, she requires a quill that it takes with itself wherever it goes. It functions as an outlet for her creative abilities.

I've also been thinking of the possibility of its soul being that quill, due to how tightly Aurum is connected to her creativity, but it might take me a bit to figure out the specifics for that.

In addition to creativity, Aurum is also able to spectate the works of other Creators, and of course, interact with said fellow Creators, but it can take her a bit to get out of it's shell.

Aurum tends to add quite an amount of detail to its work. While it has tried various artistic outlets, the one in which she excels the most is drawing, animation and writing, especially the earlier 2, as those are the hobbies it has been practicing since it has memory.

It also happens to be quite the extra-clever being. (extra clever earthbound spirit ghost in the form-)

It struggles with issues from a past fandom she used to mostly create for, and is trying to recover by 'pushing away shame', as it would word it. It also appears to have a particular dislike of what is known as cringe culture.

That scarf it wears? Just as the ref sheet says, it provides safety, but it also helps somewhat at covering up her neck scar that comes from a far older thing that happened. The scar may sometimes bleed when Aurum feels unsafe or as if it has 'slipped up creatively'.

Some bonus trivia:

Aurum's blood is gold! I made it like that because i myself have RH Null blood, which is also known as the....golden blood type.

It's design is inspired by the silver fox because I just recently found out it is one of my kintypes. And also because i have a tendency to represent myself online as a fox.

And the 'draconic' stuff? Dragon kintype, though that is covered by Io.

Speaking of, Aurum is the being that puppeteers Io.

INK FANGIRL INK FANGIRL INK FANGIRL

To add on the thing from above, this thing collects Ink images to survive.

probably has a little room full of simpy stuff

it's like a dragon hoard maybe

Aurum is meant to be in the autistic spectrum, as i myself am autistic!

I got the name Aurum from "Au", which is the periodic table of elements's symbol for gold. And y'know.... AUs! Aurum is a Creator! Doesn't that tie together nicely?

Yes, the scarf that it's wearing is a recreation of Ink's scarf.

Aurum first started as an arctic fox but then started getting covered in ink over time from drawing and drawing and drawing a lot, so it's basically identical to an actual silver fox.

Aurum sometimes stands on 2 legs, usually when interacting with other Creators.

I believe that's all i can think of right now, now off i go to catch up with Inktobertale. I may also do asks for Aurum when i take breaks! (AND I JUST REMEMBERED I MADE A SIDE BLOG TO RP AS IO HHHHH I GOTTA GET IT READY)

Later on i'll make a masterpost with the links to both Io and Aurum's posts

#whenever i do tags for this i feel like i'm walking on eggshells #honestly i think this concept of a “creator living outside the UTMV but still doing things for it” is pretty obscure and unexplored #corv's ocs #corv's aurum #undertale oc #undertale au oc #undertale au oc: creator edition #utmv oc: creator edition #utmv oc #undertale multiverse #utmv #i probably haven't revised this enough but oh well

[cheshirecatuniverse]

Murayama as your best friend

featuring: Sannoh Rengokai! Reader (She/Her)

Honestly, you don't have to match his energy to be compatible. You just have to be just as chaotic as him

You officially meet when Cobra and Yamato make you attend Oya High - long story short you were with Sannoh. When they found out you were a high school dropout, they made it their goal after taking down Kuryu to give you more opportunities. Oya High was close enough from Sannoh in case anything happened.

When Yamato dropped you off, you thought about killing him.

"You're not serious making me do this."

"I mean, Chiharu did it," Yamato smiled, trying to encourage you, "So can you."

"HE GOT JUMPED."

He didn't leave until someone walked out of the front gates of the school. You recognized the blue jacket and the dark blue bandanna under some wild hair from the fights the last couple of years. Just great. Murayama strolled on over, noticing that you were putting away your Sannoh Rengokai leather jacket for an oversized high school uniform button up.

When he said hi to the both of you he only got grunt from you as Yamato shoves your arm with a glare that says 'be nice.'

Murayama only took a look at you before turning to Yamato, "Yeah. She'll probably fit right in."

It took you entering Oya High for Yamato to drive off. As Murayama gave you a brief tour, with Seki and Furuya right behind you guys, someone whistles and laughs.

You let the student leaning out of the classroom window catcall you for a minute before letting yourself have fun.

Murayama looks behind him and then turns to Furuya, "Ah? Where'd she go-"

"C'mon! Let me take you out, baby," the student grinned, looking you up and down.

His hands are poking outside the window. When you walk over, you hold his wrists and flip yourself upside down, "Why don't you hold my hand then?"

As you did a brief handstand, you hear his wrists crack and a high-pitched scream. You coo at his pain with a patronizing pout. Murayama bursts out laughing, and you kinda freeze. Oh man, you probably screwed up. Classes haven't even started yet, Cobra will be pissed-

After Murayama wiped his tears of laughter, he raised up his hand, smiling, "You're going to fit it in."

You were still startled, but you meekly returned the high five. The day went by well after that. You told Naomi that Oya High wasn't actually so bad. (You didn't mention that you broke someone's hands).

You guys get closer pretty quickly. You don't make friends easily but you two connected just like that.

Chips, soda, candy, granola bars? Anything edible in your hand will be bitten or swiped from you.

Whenever he's on the floor you like to stand on his back or stomach before he rapidly flips sides, making you fall on your ass.

He's tried fighting you but you like to dodge his punches and kicks for a good hour until he starts screaming and gives up

You've beaten most of the Oya High guys, including Seki and Furuya. When you win a brawl, Murayama gives you a thumbs up and says he'll treat you to eat.

You start doing his eye taunt gesture.

When you turn around he likes to mimic you, the times you turn around in time you kick him right in the ass.

Likes to call you than text you. Even if you're literally in the next room.

"Hey, what's that name of that one singer you like?"

"I'm on the other side of the wall, Murayama."

You two never enter an arcade without a fully detailed strat in place for maximum opportunities for prizes. Murayama and you revising your strats each time to test out what works better.

He's not much of a gym person, but when you go together you take the most unserious gym pics for insta

Anytime you have an idea you dare him to do it.

"Bet you can't jump off this cliff."

"Murayama I'll give you $10 if you eat 5 bowls of noodles without throwing up."

And he'll just shrug and try to do it unless Furuya or Seki stop him.

He's a great listener, likes to put his legs over your lap so you won't run away when you need to talk about your problems. When he's upset he likes to brood and go off into the nearest corner. You bring him food while continuing to let him brood with his head on your shoulder.

The more comfortable you are with him you hug him pretty often. For backhugs, it's usually to get piggyback rides to wherever you're heading.

You can't leave him for the day without dapping him up.

When Murayama, Seki, and Furuya are fooling around, sometimes you like to go to the rooftop to take a nap or actually study. You befriend Tsukasa there and gives you more insight on the full timers.

Murayama isn't necessarily overprotective when you go out with someone from Oya High but he's not afraid to break someone's limbs for hurting you in any way. He's really oblivious when people try to hit on him so you're the designated wingman. You like to flirt with Todoroki just to annoy the guy, which Murayama has never gotten.

"It's funny, you just don't get it."

"Nah, seeing him lose a match again is funny."

There's a good chance if you ever get feelings for him, he'll reciprocate them. He would be really casual about it because you're his person, it just makes sense.

If you like girls or only girls, you'll definitely have to come out to him because he is oblivious to anything love wise.

"So does that mean you'll marry a woman?"

"Yeah... Yeah it does."

He grinned at you, ruffling your hair, "I better be your best man then."

Big sigh of relief. It almost makes you teary-eyed how cool he thinks you being sapphic is. He's a lesbian protector.

You share the lunch Naomi makes you often. When you tell Naomi Murayama likes her cooking she makes you invite him to the diner. The first time he comes over to Itokan, the Sannoh guys are confused as hell. Did they have a meeting or something they didn't know about? While they're scratching their heads in the back, you introduce Naomi to Murayama. He's really polite because it's Cobra's territory and Naomi is a food angel to him.

Murayama thinks you're insane for always trying to annoy Hyuga just because you think he's fun to fight.

"Listen," He scratches the back of his head, "I don't wanna steal one of his cars. Can we go to the arcade today instead?"

When you tell Murayama about never really getting the full high school experience you guys plan a sleepover with Seki and Furuya. Naomi, being your roommate, casually tells the Sannoh guys about it. They think you're dating Murayama.

Yamato is panicking, Dan is giving his worst assumptions, Cobra is trying to be rational (emphasis on trying), Chiharu realizes you are a woman with desires and feelings like everyone else and has a breakdown, Tettsu knows you've dated many people from Oya but knows Murayama is your friend, Noboru is trying to convince them not to try to beat Murayama up.

At the sleepover, you announce you're going to get something from your room. Sannoh boys enter your condo and hearing all the noise you walk into Yamato holding Murayama by the collar of his shirt. Chiharu wrestling Furuya and Dan and Tettsu pinning Seki to the ground.

It's been a bad week so you burst out crying and EVERYONE freaks out because you don't cry.

"I just.. I just wanted to be normal for once," you wailed, wiping the tears from your face.

Yamato feels so bad he lets you paint his nails and makes the rest of the guys do the same. He's asking if you're feeling any better every five minutes. Cobra goes out and buys a bunch of junk food as an apology.

Murayama got punched by Yamato, so you give him an ice pack for his cheek. Every time you grumble about it, he makes sure to punch himself without wincing. "It's barely a scratch."

#high&low the worst x #high&low #murayama #high and low murayama #murayama yoshiki #murayama x reader #high & low #high & low x reader #oya high #sannoh rengokai #high and low #high & low the worst x

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ january 2024

☆ STATISTICS.

projects worked on: The Gemini Heist. also i glanced at Andromeda Rogue but gave up on that real quick

proudest accomplishment: i uhhh drew some really cool gemini heist aus

books read: The Long Way to a Small and Angry Planet by Becky Chambers; The Blighted Stars by Megan E O'Keefe; System Collapse (Murderbot Diaries #7) by Martha Wells. i got the first one for christmas and I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH. the other too were really good too.

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

hi! i have been very scarce from writeblr lately (and that's probably not gonna change soon) but i am alive and still creating! i mostly drew this month tbh but i did get some writing in, surprisingly!

you may or may not have noticed, but i'm no longer putting my wordcount in these updates. i've realized it's just not a valid metric for me to be measuring my progress. like, just because i haven't written any words in my draft doesn't mean i didn't make progress on my wip in other ways. and it doesn't make sense to use it for things like editing or revising, where words get cut all the time.

in wip news: i'm still reaaaally struggling to edit andromeda rogue, and after tinkering with it a bit at the beginning of the month, i made myself put it aside until february. which is... tomorrow. we'll see how that goes.

in the meantime i got some progress on gemini heist!

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0)

this has got to be the messiest drafts i've ever written. my first drafts are usually somewhat clean, but this? it's placeholder city in here, i've skipped writing any kind of description, there are plot holes that i only realized existed later but forced myself to ignore for now in favour of moving forward. this is fine.

i'm not going to lie... i still don't have most of the heist figured out. i'm a plantser but i've been pantsing a lot more than planning and it feels like i'm flying blind and i'm gonna crash into a wall at any moment. this is totally fine.

not to mention, a ship i did not expect has emerged and punched me in the face, and since i have little self control, everything is even more messy, especially between these characters, and i have no clue how the hell i'm gonna resolve any of this. everything is fine. (and no, i'm not saying who is involved, but at least [REDACTED] has two hands. sorta.)

i'm having fun, though. that's what matters, right?

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

since i haven't really posted any writing in a hot minute, here's a slightly longer, VERY gay excerpt 😏 for context, this is right before the girls are set to crash a coronation party, and Gabi has asked Euna to help with her makeup 😌

“Thank you,” Gabi said, beginning to stand. “It’s not done,” Euna protested, taking her wrist to pull her back down. “I still have to do your lips.” “Oh,” Gabi said, settling back onto the bunk. She squirmed in place. “It’s not that important— I don’t want to take up any more of your time—” “It won’t take long,” Euna promised, taking out a tube of shimmering pink lipstick. She brought her other hand up to Gabi’s face, pausing right before touching her. “May I?” Gabi nodded, her neck bobbing slightly as she swallowed.  Euna gently cupped Gabi’s chin and drew her closer so she could see better, uncapping the tube with her teeth and spitting it out onto the bunk. Gabi sucked in an audible breath as Euna pressed the lipstick against her top lip and carefully smeared colour and glitter from one side to the other. Her hand slowed as it dragged the stick in the opposite direction along Gabi’s bottom lip, coming to a complete stop when she reached the end. For a moment, she stayed frozen in place, holding the lipstick to the corner of Gabi’s mouth, her other palm pressed against Gabi’s warm cheek, feeling her racing pulse at the tips of her fingers.  “Is… is something wrong?” Gabi asked in a whisper, barely moving her lips. Euna quickly withdrew both her hands from Gabi’s face. “No,” she said, groping the covers around her to retrieve the cap. “Just, ah, making sure I’d done it correctly.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51

#chayscribbles writing update #wip gemini heist

[yeppeudau]

Spike that! 11‣ Taehyun that traitor!

#Synopsis➤ There is a reason your team doesn't let Lena spike, its for everyone's safety really. Too bad she doesn't listen and too bad that rule wasn't enough to stop her from accidentally hitting an unsuspecting Huening Kai in the head. But hey, at least it lead to his crush finally noticing him, aka you.

#warnings: brief mention of food thats it

#wc: 759

#a/n: omg posting sp! on a friday??? finally the chapter that has been giving me so much trouble.. tbh I am not very happy with this but if I didn't post this at all we would never get an update :/ so please lmk what you think! and I'll try to revise it! also ignore the dates

It has been at least 10 minutes since Taehyun left to "use the restroom", that traitor.

First he invites you here out of the blue, which you didn't mind. Until you realized he failed to mention he also invited someone else, and then he leaves the two of you ALONE with your plate of now soggy fries. Unbelievable, you're going to give him an earful when you leave.

You feel bad for the boy sitting across from you, he probably had no idea what Taehyun was planning. Not to mention how awkward the air is, you haven't talked since you arived. You've only talked this boy twice and that was because your teammate hit him in the head so took him to the nurse along with buying him "apology" coffee.

Maybe you should tell him he can go? Or should you be the one leaving because he's Taehyun's friend? Or would that be too rude-

"Um.. nice weather we're having right?"

"Huh?"

Your snapped out of your thoughts looking to the sheepish boy in front of you as he scratches the back of his neck. You stare at him blankly -for what feels like an eternity to kai- before you finally reply,

"Oh yeah..its really nice out isn't it." It was a midless reply but you can appreciate his attempt at small talk, no matter how quickly the awkward air settled back in.

Kai clearly felt it as well as simultaneously the two of you open your mouths to speak, only to interrupt the other. And when you both suggest the other to go first, the two of you let out a short chuckle before he tells you to go first.

"Ah I just wanted to say thank you again." You say sending him a small smile. And Kai swears he feels his ears burning at the sight of it. Ignoring it he tilts his head in clear confusion for you to clarify "For always supporting the team! You're a really dedicated fan huh?"

He pauses for a moment before mumbling the word "fan" under his breath, the taste that word left in his mouth was a bitter sweet one. A part of him was more than a little disappointed by the word if he was being honest,  but then again he only talked to you for the first time a week ago, he should be grateful right?

Huening Kai perks up in his seat as he replies "Oh yea! I mean I'm a big fan!! I bet you will make it to nationals in no time, I'll try and watch!" he adds at the end.

Feeling bashful you look down picking at the plate of soggy fries in front of you "Well I hope we do,  It gets really rough sometimes but I think I can do it if I know at least someone in the stans is cheering for us.." And maybe you sound a tad bit shameless but you mean what you said. Of course you're aware there are people on your side and rooting for your team, but it felt nice to let yourself think someone was rooting for you specifically.

Looking back up you see Kai looking at you with an expression you can't quite make out "Why are you staring at me? Did I sound ungrateful? "

"No! No! Not at all. Its just that a lot of people want to see you succeed, its more then just me I promise." he quickly explains letting out a little laugh at the end that has you frowning.

"Wait why are you frowning??"

"Sorry I just haven't heard something like that in a while, thank you." you say smiling brightly at him

It was something so simple but Huening Kai could swear he felt his heart tug in his chest, the butterflies in his stomach moving around ever so slightly when you smiled so sweetly. How were you so genuine even with such an awkward atmosphere? Or maybe you were always like this? The awkward stage was just something in passing.

Unfortunately before he can say anything in response Taehyun comes walking back, he almost forgot it wasn't just the two of you here.

Immediately you turn to raise an eyebrow at your brother "What did you blow up the bathroom?? Don't you know its rude to leave your friend alone?"

"Why don't you go check?" he teases causing you to hit him "Ow! Kai do you see how she treats me?" he rubs his arm to which roll your eyes and Kai just simply laughs.

➤. prev / masterlist / next

➤. taglist[open]: @luvsoobs @zeesondiary @iichaeyj @nomniki @josuyay @jaxavance @laylasbunbunny @tyunmylove @rjclouds @breadyuni @lunaavity @galaxyhalloes @millksea @tvun @peachbly @notdrunkbutdazed @curiousgworge @sophhloaff @fairy0fshamp0o @diestheticu @ihoonbrry @bluebearybeom @jinjccns @mikasaredscarf1 @sukunasrealgf @hyyhyuka @gyusbbl @windex-princess-ami @captivq @realexq @luvdokja @bucketofhiros @luvkait

#wkcnet #k-labels #huening kai #hueningkai x reader #txt x reader #hueningkai smau #txt smau #txt huening kai #hueningkai imagines #txt series #tomorrow by together #smau #social media au #volleyball au #university au #college smau #spike that!🏐

[offsidekineticist]

For Theoven: ☮ for a scene about behaving well

Thank you for the ask! Struggled a little with this one because I wanted to cover some time before he left Garund, but it was tricky figuring out what "behaving well" in that context would mean. Finally settled on repurposing/revising a little thing I wrote about his backstory (why did I originally write it in the 3rd person when all my Theoven stuff is 2nd person?).

CW: references to degenerative mental disease/dementia; a child taking on way too much responsibility; death of a parent; references to poverty; and Theoven tossing a lit firecracker into his mom's room to tell her breakfast is ready.

You know today is going to be one of the good days, because Mama is reading. Most days she can't do that anymore. Most days, when you wake her for breakfast, she is still asleep, or on really bad days she's sitting up and just staring at the wall. But today when you go to wake her for breakfast, Mama is already awake, sitting up in bed with one of her books.

"Holy fuck!" She shouts when the firecracker goes off next to her bed, and you grin because 'fuck' is a naughty word, and also she only swears on good days. On bad days your pranks just made her scream and cry. That doesn't stop you of course–as long as she doesn't react with silence, that means the pranks are helping, and if you do enough of them she might have a good day. 

That's your job: to give Mama lots of good days, enough to last forever. You aren't usually very good at your job–Mama doesn't have many good days anymore–but today is a good day. Giggling, you open the door and carry a tray with breakfast into the bedroom.

"Oh, you think this is funny, do you?" Mama asks from her bed, and you nod, trying to hide your smile behind a glass of not quite spoiled milk on the tray. "Oh, Theo," she sighs with a smile. "Never a dull moment with you, is there?"

You smile wide before offering her the tray. "Oh, thank you!" she says with a look of pleased surprise, and for a moment you feel a little glow of pride because this is a good day and you are doing a good job. Then she frowns suddenly at the breakfast: an over-easy egg (You scrounged the egg from a bird nest in a tree you had to climb) and a piece of toast. "You cooked this?" she asks. You nod, wondering frantically what was wrong - maybe that kind of egg was poisonous? Or maybe it's a very smart species of bird and you just murdered a baby? Or–

"You didn't break the yolk," she says slowly, and you relax, because this is not the first time she has had to think this through. "Have you been making me breakfast every morning?" she finally asks, and you nod. She looks sad and a little scared for a moment before smiling with her mouth while her eyes stay sad and watery. "Well, you've gotten very good at it! I've probably said that to you before, haven't I? I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I like it when you say I'm good at things," you say, and that makes her smile for real. She ruffles your bright orange hair with a pale hand–most of her is pale, except a little strand of green in her hair. You're the opposite: mostly orange and tan-brown, except for the pale patch on your elbow from when you gave Mama some of your color when you were a baby. Back when Mama had more good days than bad days, she used to check every day to make sure the patch hadn't gotten bigger, because if it got too big you would start having bad days, too, and then you wouldn't be able to do your job and give Mama good days.

"Well then, you should know you've gotten very good at making breakfast," Mama says before starting to eat breakfast. "Here–wanna see what Mama's reading?" She patted the space on the mattress next to her, and you grin because it's been so long since Mama read to you and it must be a very good day and you are doing a very good job. You scramble up onto the bed and snuggle under her left arm. She closes the book and shows you the front cover. "Can you read the title?"

"One thousand and one gods of the Vuh-drann - drawn - dra–"

"Vudrani."

" - Vudrani," you read out.

"Very good!" she says, and you practically preen with pride before realizing what you just read.

"There are a thousand and one gods?" you ask, eyes wide, because that's a lot of gods.

"Oh, there are a lot more than that. These are just some of the gods they worship in Vudra."

Your forehead wrinkles in thought. "But I thought gods were special. How can there be so many?"

"Well, there are still a lot more of us than there are of them."

"There's not a thousand people!" you exclaim indignantly. One thousand is a very big number. You know because you once tried seeing how high you could count, and you only made it to 150 or so before you lost count because you were distracted by a beetle as big as your hand flying in through an open window. You tried to get the beetle to stay and be your friend, but it couldn't understand you because beetles aren't very smart, so it flew away.

"You wanna hear something crazy?" Your mother asks, leaning in like she's about to tell you a secret, and you lean in too because you are very good at keeping secrets. "We live in a town with two thousand people. Just in our town." 

Your jaw drops, and you try to remember all the people you saw yesterday when you went to the market to borrow some stale bread when the baker wasn't looking, but you quickly realize there were too many to count. 

"And this isn't the biggest town we've lived in, is it?" Mama continues, and you shake your head.

"No. Katapesh was much bigger." Your face scrunches up as you try to figure out how much bigger itbwas. "They had…three thousand people?"

"More than two hundred thousand." 

Two hundred thousand? That's more than you can count times a thousand! That's a lot of people, and just in one city? You realize there must be a lot of people in Golarion. Eyes wide, you look back at the cover of the book that had started the conversation.

"I guess one thousand gods is still special," you finally pronounce. "Are they better than the Avistan gods?"

Mama taught you a lot about the gods in Avistan because that's where your dad lives, and someday she says you will visit and stay with him. You didn't like most of them–being a kid is hard, and you don't think anybody who has never been a kid had any business telling you how to be a kid (and people who don't remember what it's like being a kid aren't much better). But Irori and Iomedae and Norgorber and Caiden Calean had all been kids once, so you think they might be alright.

"Hmmm…no, I think they're just different. But there are some gods they worship in Avistan and Vudra. Like Irori. Before he was a god, he lived in Vudra." She opens the book. "His nephew became a god, too. Gruhastha. He was always one of my favorites because he's a book and a god."

"He's a book?" You repeat, because how can a person be a book?

"Yes, the Azvadeva Pujila. He wrote it when he was still mortal. The book was perfect, and perfect things must be divine, but a book by itself has no soul, so it can't be a god. So Gruhastha went into the book and became part of it, and it became part of him, and now the book had a soul and could ascend and be divine. But Gruhastha believes that knowledge should be shared, so he made copies of the Azvadeva Pujila and put a little of himself in each one. So anytime you hold a copy of the Azvadeva Pujila in your hands, you hold Gruhastha in your hands as well."

"Do we have a copy of it?" you ask eagerly, because you've been able to do many things traveling with Mama, but you have never held a god before.

"I think so–yes, in the Biggenlill Bag."

(The Biggenlill Bag is little on the outside but big on the inside. It is supposed to be called a bag of holding, but that's stupid because all bags hold things because that's what bags are for. You used to call it the Big-and-Little bag, but over time it got shortened to the Biggenlill Bag, which is so much more fun to say than Big-and-Little and definitely a better name than "bag of holding.")

You slide off the bed and scamper into the next room. The biggenlill bag is on one of the chairs at the kitchen table that hasn't been used since Mama's bad days made you stop in Finderplain. You grab the bag as you slide to a stop and then rapidly run back the other way, practically leaping onto the bed and almost knocking over Mama's glass of milk as you open the bag and reach inside. You have to stick your hand in all the way up to your shoulder, but your fingers eventually close around a book, and you yank it out of the bag. 

It doesn't look like you'd expect a god to look–you imagined it would be more sparkly–but Mama always says not to judge a book by its cover. It does feel special, though. You feel a thrill the second you touch it, and you feel…not quite afraid to open the book, but you can tell that opening the book will release something great and wonderful, something that will refuse to confine itself to the book once it is released.

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Mama asks, interrupting your reverie, and you nod and hand the book to her. She sets it on top of the book on her lap, opens it to the first page, and reads.

It is a wonderful day. The best day. Mama reads, and she reads, and she reads, until the desert sun sets, and her voice is hoarse, and you snuggle into her side and for once you aren't worried about doing your job, because this is a good day, and good days mean you're doing a good job. You listen to stories about monkeys and tigers and cobras and gods and children and ratfolk and humans, and you wonder if maybe, when Mama is better, you could go to Vudra and see the Cave of a Thousand Stars.

"I think that's enough for today," Mama finally says tiredly, and you nod before hugging her.

"Thank you, Mama," you say, and Mama hugs you close to her.

"Oh, you're so very welcome. I'm happy to do it for such a wonderful son."

You feel very warm at that, and despite the desert heat it's a good warm. Yes, you are doing a good job. "Love you, Mama."

"I love you too, Theo. Now." She kisses the top of your head. "Go get some rest. We can read more in the morning."

You nod vigorously, smiling wide so she won't see that you don't believe her. You may be doing a good job, but there haven't been two good days in a row for a very long time. Reminding her of that would just make her sad, though, so you pretend to believe her and kiss her on the cheek before taking the tray and the dirty dishes and sliding off the bed. You leave the books–you are very tired, and someone needs to stand watch, but Mama is holding a book that is also a god, so surely you can sleep for a little bit and let Gruhastha watch over her, can't you?

(You can't. Her last green hair disappears in the night. Her skin is already cold when the sun rises.)

#oc: theoven derenge #pathfinder wotr #knight-commander oc #ask game #pwotr pals

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

(I see we're toeing a line again, Marve...)

I'm sitting in a front-row seat of the old auditorium, staring at an empty stage dimly lit by a single shaft of light coming through one of the back doors. I hear footfalls as someone makes their way down the rows.

"Is this seat taken?"

It's not the Muse. Not the current one, anyway.

"Wait a minute. What the hell are you doing here?"

They shrug. "Hey, it's your brain. You tell me." They look around. "I haven't seen this part of your head before. How come you never invited me up here?"

"I didn't even know I had an entire-ass auditorium in my head until recently. There's a lot of things I'm discovering about my mind these days. I mean, I didn't even know you were still in my head. But I guess none of you ever really leave, do you."

"Yeah, we're all still here. I've met the other Muses in the break room next to your hippocampus." They slide into the seat next to me. "Seriously though. You look like you've been having a bad day. Do you wanna talk about it?"

My voice cracks. "I'm fine."

"Marve." They put an arm around me. "If I'm here, it's probably because things are not fine."

Hot tears well up in my eyes. I try to laugh it off, but immediately realize the absurdity of trying to conceal my feelings when I'm literally sitting inside my own head next to the manifestation of some aspect of my personality.

"Yeah... okay. I'm not fine. There's a whole bunch of emotional baggage that I've apparently been holding onto since I was in high school, just a mess of weird perfectionism and impostor syndrome and depression and loneliness. That would be why you're here; my brain isn't exactly subtle about like, symbolism and shit."

I lean against them. "You were seriously one of the few good things about my teenage years, you know that, right? I looked up to you because you were like, this absolute fuckin' weirdo who I could relate to and who was also successful." I feel their shoulders heave with a barely suppressed chuckle. "No seriously," I continue. "You gave me hope that there might be a place in the world for me after all."

"There absolutely is a place for you in the world. But you know why? Because you carved one out for yourself. You did that. That's something you can be proud of."

"But now what? What was all that surviving for? When will I finally have something to show for it all?"

"Wait, seriously? You don't think you have anything to show- ohhh. You don't think you have anything good enough for the Muse. That's what this is."

I look up at them. "Hold up. Do I detect a hint of... jealousy?"

"You didn't have any hangups about showing me your work. I'm just wondering out loud what's different this time."

"Oh my God, dude."

"I realize this may sound rich coming from me of all people, but... you don't actually have to impress the Muse just because they inspired you."

"This isn't really about them, though."

"Oh? Because there's a giant corkboard posted in the chart room of your prefrontal cortex labeled 'Five-Year Plan for Getting Noticed by Senpai' that has gone through numerous revisions over the last eight months."

"Who let you into my prefrontal cortex?!"

"Marve, I'm a figment of your imagination. No one's going to badge me when I show up. But back to the point... if you're going to use us as your yardstick for whether or not your limerence has gotten out of hand, I'm going to remind you that you didn't have a five-year plan to get my attention back in the day."

"I didn't plan for anything back then. I didn't see the point. In an alternate timeline I might have, though."

"So you have more control over your life now, but you want to devote it to maybe impressing someone you've never even met?"

"They're a stand-in for me. Until I can like myself enough to be my own motivation again."

"But this limerent devotion isn't helping you if it's making you feel inadequate and anxious."

"At least something is motivating me again. I just need a reason to keep going until I can find the next reason to keep going."

"Your five-year plan doesn't include any solid strategy to transition away from chasing after the Muse as your main source of motivation. If this whole thing is only supposed to be a narrative frame for your own personal growth, where and how exactly does personal growth fit into this narrative?"

I slide off their shoulder down into my seat and sigh. "Hell of a way to get called out by my own brain."

"Marve, you know I don't hand out compliments of any kind lightly. When I said that I was impressed by how smart and talented you were, I meant it. And now I also know what extraordinary inner strength you have in you, too. You have no reason to consider yourself inadequate. If this weirdo- if you meet them IRL and they don't like you, that's on them, not you."

"...you're a little jealous."

"I'm not. Granted, I do have some... questions about their whole deal. But what I really care about is keeping you from running yourself into the ground again. You say you know who this is really for, but I think the boundaries have gotten too fuzzy and it's time for you to pull back and refocus on you."

"Dear God. This is possibly the weirdest pep talk I've ever received from my own brain."

"I hope it means something, to hear it coming from me. Don't forget that there have always been people out there rooting for you. Including myself."

They lean over and kiss my cheek. "I'll see you in your dreams, Marvy. I'm usually somewhere in there if you're doing the Inception Architect thing. Come find me and say hi."

With that, they get up to leave. I watch them go, still trying to process everything that's just transpired.

#fuck me this got meta ANNNNNND POST

[caelwynn]

I'm still physically wiped out and my head's too fuzzy to do 'real' writing/revisions on my story, but I'm just coherent enough that I want to chitter-chatter about my fic.

So in the course of working on Choices, one of the things I've spent an inordinate amount of time on is figuring out the 'cohorts' for the valleyfolk. What I mean by 'cohorts' are the groups of people who are in a similar age-range to one another and then further subdivided into 'natives' (aka 'people who grew up together in the valley') and 'transplants.' After all, one of the things I'm trying to accomplish is interweaving three large expansion mods with the base game and coming up with a cohesive whole, and that means knowing who from the various mods have known each other basically forever.

Under the cut, I break down who's in what cohort. I may or may not later flesh out my thinking about why I plopped certain people into certain groups, mostly because when I started to do so with this list, the post grew disgustingly (more) bloated. If I do, I'll probably do a separate post for each cohort. After all, this is the site for rambling about this sort of random stuff, right? 😅 (Edit: that's exactly how I spent my afternoon. You can find my thoughts on each cohort here: Gen 1, Gen 2, Gen 3, Gen 4, Gen 5.)

If you squint just right, these could be considered spoilers for SVE/Ridgeside/East Scarp.

I divided the population of the valley into five different cohorts/generations. Ages are based on how old they are/would be during the course of Choices. They are also in order of eldest down to youngest. I have actual ages recorded for most of the characters, but it cluttered up this list waaay too much.

(OG) - Base Game, (SVE) - Stardew Valley Expanded, (R) - Ridgeside, (ES) - East Scarp

Gen 1 (Aged 60+) Natives

Maive (R)

Richard (R)

Gil (OG)

Evelyn (OG)

Linus (OG)

Willy (OG)

Lenny (R)

Gen 1 (Aged 60+) Transplants

George (OG)

Mr. Aguar (R)

Sonny (R)

Mrs. Olsen (Emily and Haley's mother) (OG-ish)

Lola (R)

Freddie (R)

Gen 2 (Ages 40-60) Natives

(56-60)

Lewis (OG)

Vivienne (ES)

Jessie (ES)

Mr. Olsen (Emily and Haley's father) (OG-ish)

Lily-Anne (ES)

Ezekiel (R)

Clement (ES)

(50-55)

Helen (R)

Marlon (OG)

Daisy (Adventurer's Guild Expanded)

Mark (ES) (Sterling's father, unnamed in mod)

Jess (ES) (Henry's father, unnamed in mod)

Pierre (OG)

Alecto (Stand Alone)

Robin (OG)

(46-50)

Marnie (OG)

Gunther (OG)

Susan (SVE)

Kimpoi (R)

(40-45)

Kent (OG)

Bert (R)

Olga (R)

Lorenzo (R)

Caroline (OG)

Gen 2 (Ages 40-60) Transplants

(56-60)

Rasmodius (OG)

Carmen (R)

(51-55)

Pam (OG)

Andy (SVE)

Jodi (OG)

Demetrius (OG)

(46-50)

Olivia (SVE)

Pika (R)

Malaya (R)

(40-45)

Naomi (R)

Gen 3 (Ages 25-39) Natives

(31-36)

Tristan (ES)

Clint (OG)

Shane (OG)

Henry (ES)

Sterling (ES)

Mona (OG/ES?)

Jacob [He turns 31 during the fic] (ES)

(25-30)

Mateo (ES)

Jasper (ES)

Kenneth (R)

Emily (OG)

Sandy (OG)

Anton (R)

Maria (R)

Paula (R)

Gloria (ES)

Zayne (R)

Kiarra (R)

Sophia (SVE)

Gen 3 (Ages 25-39) Transplants

(31-39)

Harvey (OG)

Shanice (R)

Callie

Mia (ES)

Elliott (OG)

Leah (OG)

Bryle (R)

(25-30)

Philip (R)

June (R)

Kataryna (ES)

Jeric (R)

Aideen (ES)

Rosa (ES)

Flor (R)

Irene (R)

Gen 4 (Ages 18-24) Natives

Penny (OG)

Sebastian (OG)

Alissa (R)

Abigail (OG)

Shiro (R)

Corine (R)

Sam (OG)

Ysabelle (R)

Alex (OG)

Haley (OG)

Lexi (ES)

Blair (R)

Gen 4 (Ages 18-24) Transplants

Victor (SVE)

Maddie (R)

Faye (R)

Juliet (ES)

Sean (R)

Gen 5 (Ages 5-17)

Maru (OG)

Oliver (ES)

Ariah (R)

Trinnie (R)

Keahi (R)

Eloise (ES)

Louie (R)

Vincent (OG)

Jas (OG)

Yuuma (R)

Lavril (ES)

Gen 5 (Haven't decided ages yet)

Leo (OG)

Morgan (SVE)

Bliss (R)

Pipo (R)

Undreya (R)

Yeah, I know there are characters missing (especially from East Scarp, as I have difficulty keeping track of all the individual NPC mods, and SVE), but there it is. I wonder if this is actually interesting to anyone other than me. Oh well. 😅

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew headcanon #stardew choices #stardew valley expanded #ridgeside village #east scarp

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

I’ve noticed that a lot of your recent posts seem to be heading the direction of “Joey Batey is our queer savior from the anti queer writers” and I feel like that’s kind of ignoring all of the other queer representation that happened this season outside of Jaskier. He was just talking specifically about Jaskier’s character. And I’m really happy that he got so much input on the character that he is very passionate about.

But the line of thinking that Joey Batey is the cause of queerness on the continent just feels… well it does a disservice to the writers who have clearly been trying to craft this inclusive version of the continent where things such as queerness and diversity feel natural. I am pretty sure Cassie Clare even gave an interview to Radiotimes in June saying that she felt so comfortable playing Philippa as queer because of how the writers had written the world. It’s also ignoring all the other queer characters this season. Whether it’s Philippa getting laid, Ciri dancing with another woman, a woman flirting with Yennefer, or the mages flirting in general, and having been implied to sleep with each other there is queerness outside of Jaskier in many different forms. Like the Continent is just gay af.

It’s confusing how people seem to think queerness wouldn’t exist in the Witcher without Joey Batey, as if there are many other forms of queerness in the show outside of Jaskier. It’s almost like people forget gay women are here too 😂 but hey that’s not unusual is it?

Hi anon. While I do agree that the focus on Jaskier as queer representation is disproportionate in the fandom in comparison to Philippa (<3) and other queer rep. I do want to. Y'know. Clear the air about my own blog.

I'm not trying to ignore other rep in the show; I focus a lot on jaskier because he's been my favorite in the series for the longest since 2020, and his characterization was/is especially relatable to me for a lot of other reasons besides his sexuality. He's been my favorite for the longest, so I do tend to focus on him more than others. It's true.

On the other hand, for example, I've only properly known Philippa since season 3 came out (we only got a brief introduction at the end of s2 & I haven't played/read enough of the games/books (respectively) to really see a lot of her). That's not to put her down to elevate jaskier/pit one against the other, though. On the contrary, she's probably my favorite character of the season so far (or at least one of them) outside the destiny family & jaskier.

And the discourse on my blog when it comes to what could've happened during production/behind the scenes mostly comes from, quite frankly, a lot of the bitter taste in my mouth in relation to some of the poorer writing choices from s2 (it was there a bit after s1 once I'd read the books but it wasn't as bad), because I still regard it with. Mixed Feelings to be honest.

(While I'm enjoying s3 much more, I'm still worried in regards to the second volume bc things feel Too Good.)

That being said, I am really happy (if not pleasantly surprised) to see that the show treats queerness really well! I'm happy that a franchise that's meant so much to me for the past few years is giving good rep. It's just that when I hear things like "oh the actor did revise it with the writers" in regards to jaskier in s3 (when iirc that's not the first time one of the actors has had to work with production to revise smth), my, admittedly, Nosy And Speculative Self will naturally go "...okay so how bad was it before? 😟👀" (bc this is still. y'know. the show that pulled the entire Eskel Thing)

...and there you have it!

#tldr: I love the queer rep besides jaskier!!! I just focus lots on him bc he's been my fav for the longest- #-and admittedly i'm skeptical abt what's going on behind the scenes bc s2 made me. very much like '':/'' #discourse #kinda #answered #the witcher

[palimpsessed]

The third annual! Questions by @captain-aralias .

Complete Fics for 2022:

I Can't Believe He's Not Butter

4,941 words

by any other name…

3,035 words

Simon Snow and Dracula's Curse, A Scooby Doo AU

46,064 words

In Progress Fics for 2022:

Slings and Eros

70,055 words added in 2022

Total:

4 complete fics, 1 fic in progress

Word count:

124,095

Thoughts:

I thought my output this year had really waned, but I only completed one more fic in 2020 and 2021. My word count has been pretty consistent, with this year's actually being higher than 2021 (107k) and 2020 (113k). So maybe I need to be kinder to myself. It's truly just having the specter of a massively long wip looming for a second year running.

Since I included SAE in last year's review, I'm going to stick with the three fics I haven't talked about yet. All I ever talk about is SAE anyway. However, I think this works better for writers with more fics to talk about because there would be less repetition in the answers.

best/worst title?

best:

I Can't Believe He's Not Butter

What else is there to say? This fic is about an emo syrup container watching an attractive tub of margarine being spread seductively over pancakes.

worst:

by any other name...

I like this but perhaps it doesn't pin down the point of the fic well enough. But I really couldn't lead with "dicknames" or "cocktail" so. Shakespeare it is.

best/worst summary?

best:

SSADC

"The gang is invited to spend Halloween weekend in famed seaside town Whitby, North Yorkshire. It's supposed to be a holiday filled with music, history, and more vampire fangs than Simon Snow has ever dreamed of. But when a flying fiend claiming to be Count Dracula himself shows up, warning tourists and locals alike to stay away from the famous ruins of Whitby Abbey, Simon and the rest of the Enigma Ltd. gang know they've got another mystery on their hands. Matters are only further complicated when Simon's longtime professional rival, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Grimm-Pitch of Pitch Paranormal Investigations, swoops in with perfect hair to steal Enigma Ltd.'s case.

"Will the gang manage to solve the mystery in time to save Whitby from the Count and his Curse? And more importantly, will Simon solve the mystery of his very confusing feelings for Baz?"

I could see this one printed on the back of a Scooby Doo DVD clamshell. (I absolutely do check out Scooby Doo DVDs from my library every Halloween.)

worst:

BAON

"Baz has been making a new list and he’s decided it’s time to share it with his unsuspecting boyfriend."

Again, I was being coy. This probably should have been something like: "Baz decides to give Simon's cock a worthy nickname. Unapologetic puns ensue." You know, after I did this last year, I actually revised my worst summary to make the changes that I felt would improve it. Maybe I'll do that with this one, too. Maybe.

best/worst first line?

best:

ICBHNB

"The existence (if one can be so bold as to call it that) of a blue plate diner denizen holds all the shine one can find on a cloudy-water-spotted soup spoon. There are occasional flashes of warm, bright pink neon ("open 24 hours") to give you the sense of a rose-tinted view, but by and large, the days offer little more variety and adventure than stuck-on food and creeping rust stains.

"In this place, soup spoons are to solitary condiments like myself what reflecting pools are to Narcissus."

Okay, maybe this is a bit too long to consider a line, but oh well. I hate writing descriptions of physical places. I would much prefer my characters just float around in a void and have endless amounts of banter-laden dialogue. But the diner was integral to this story and I think I did a pretty good job with it, introducing it along with our narrator, pancake syrup!Baz, and using it to set the mood.

worst:

SSADC

"It was a dark and stormy night."

This was obviously intentionally done, so I'm okay with it. Except for the fact that somewhere along the way, the period disappeared without me noticing so it just sat there with no punctuation for weeks. The very first sentence. Off to a strong start.

best/worst last line?

best:

SSADC

"Hey, Baz," she said. "How come you're not in costume?"

You need the context for this one to make sense, but trust me. I love how punchy it turned out, and also that it wasn't planned. I just knew in the moment.

Also, ICBHNB is somewhat open-ended, but I do really like how the last sentence revisits the opening of the fic and shows how much Baz has changed his mind about his "life" now that Simon is in it.

worst

BAON

"We never do get back to Baz’s list."

It's okay, but it's a bit lacking in impact after the repartee immediately before it. This was just my way of fading to black so I didn't have to actually write the sex.

looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Fewer. I thought I'd finally wrap on SAE and be able to tackle more of my other ideas. I had been determined not to write anything else until it was complete, but at some point I decided it was healthier for me to indulge a side fic now and again for the sake of my creative sanity. I didn't want to start resenting SAE because I couldn't work on other things. More to look forward to next year…

what pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I didn't think I'd ever have cause to write pancake syrup/margarine. But here we are.

what's your favorite story this year? not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

It's so hard to choose. I'm really happy with all of them and they're all very different things. I suppose SSADC because I've been working on that concept off and on since I got into fandom and it was nowhere near as clever or funny in my early drafts and planning. I was frustrated with it for a long time, but then it ended up being so much better for the delay. And it's done!!!!! I'm incredibly proud of it.

okay, now your most popular story?

I never know what the best metric is to judge this by? I suppose kudos?

BAON leads in kudos for the year, so I'll say that. Which makes sense. It's the closest I came to smut.

story most underappreciated by the universe?

SSADC and ICBHNB are my least kudoesed(?) over all years so I think they just didn’t find their audience.

story that could have been better?

I know I said I wasn't going to talk about SAE, but damn it could be SHORTER. I find myself most critical of it because I've sat with it for so long. But I still wouldn't change any of it. I always kind of avoid this question.

sexiest story?

Hmm. It probably should be BAON since it is about cocks, but I kind of want to say ICBHNB because that margarine!Simon does spread on awfully smooth… How many fics can boast a completely appropriate use of the word 'nubbin' anyway?

saddest story?

None of my finished fics were sad, but SAE definitely goes there with the deep emotions, so that one gets the honor.

most fun?

SSADC

I wrote a theme song! Lucy the dog dashes into action against "Dracula" wearing a Dracula dog costume. Simon chucks bricks at creepy hooded cultists because Penny didn't let him bring his sword. Baz and Simon absolutely do not speedwalk race down the street to the Whitby library. Penny’s skirt has pockets! No one ever gives Baz a leaflet. BJ and the CUNTS! Penis window. I need to reread this fic.

story with the single sweetest moment?

SSADC

Simon feeds Baz pieces of mint Aero while they're sharing a bed. That was pretty sweet. (Get it, sweet?)

Honorable mention to ICBHNB for being sweetest fic overall, in that the narrator is literally pancake syrup.

hardest story to write?

SSADC

Which I've been trying to write unsuccessfully since very early 2020 (does anyone remember very early 2020?). This version of the fic did give me some hiccups along the way, but finally sorting out the POV and tone of the fic was key, as was the timely Dracula tie-in. It finally felt right this time and I look forward to continuing the adventures of Enigma Ltd. and Pitch Paranormal Investigations.

easiest/most fun story to write?

I'm being difficult and answering with all three fics!

Easiest is a tie between the one shots: ICBHNB and BAON. Short and also mostly crack. I'd had both ideas tossing around in my head for a while and once the mood hit for each of them, they came about pretty quickly.

Most fun: SSADC (for the reasons stated under the other kind of "most fun" above)

did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I'm boring with this one and usually say 'no', but I will say that SSADC was my first time really writing the classic SnowBaz "enemies" to lovers dynamic. I think I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it, because I tend to shy away from that. Not sure if that will inform fic writing decisions going forward, but considering that nearly all of my ideas at the moment are But-What-If-SnowBaz AUs, the dynamics are mostly determined by how I'm adapting the worlds of the various AUs.

most overdue story?

hahaha

I can finally say SSADC and know that it's DONE!!!!!

did you take any writing risks this year? what did you learn from them?

Everything felt like a risk while I had a 100k+ wip. Staying in more lighthearted and cracky territory wasn't necessarily a risk, but certainly something that took me out of my comfort zone as a fic writer. Really, I think I just needed to give myself permission for it.

this year's theme and the story that demonstrates it?

Perseverance.

SSADC and SAE

I finished one and am determined to finish the other.

what are your fic writing goals for next year?

See above.

Seriously, though, my main goal is to wrap SAE and make sure it's satisfying for all the build up—for me and its readers. Aside from that, I have a whole list of prompts for myself and I think I'm really just waiting to get inspired about which one to work on first. I have my Bond AU pretty much entirely plotted out, so you'd think it would be that one. But I also want to do a second part for my Scooby AU. And maybe finally write that The Holiday AU. Or Galaxy Quest. Or Troop Beverly Hills. Or Bell Book and Candle. Or or or…

Here's a good goal: I would like to not write any more dactylic hexameter.

If you read all this way, thanks for taking this journey with me. See you for more words and more fics in 2023!

#fanfic year in review 2022 #icbhnb #by any other name #simon snow and dracula’s curse #slings and eros

[iviarellereads]

The Plan, Such As It Is

tl;dr: System Collapse finishes the Murderbot series on Christmas. Last week of the year is a break, and then it's the Wheel of Time with likely between-book breaks for one-offs or shorter series, and someday maybe Alecto the Ninth.

I had a great time watching Desert Bus, and helping with the VST documenting and editing and uploading clips of the process of raising over a million dollars (over ten million in the lifetime of the event!) for a good cause. A most excellent week of "restoring my faith in humanity". But that's a little beside the point of this post.

I also got my hands on System Collapse, but because of how my brain works, I won't be reading it ahead, so we're going to have lots of fun as I read it for the first time in the format of the blog. Let's see if my style changes, if my predictions are well on or off the mark. (I have seen a few posts that spoiled a few moments and character bits, but I'm not concerned about those. I rarely feel like learning things that happen "ruins" anything about an experience anyway. If the story's well told, it's still fun to experience for myself.)

After System Collapse, well, that's the end of Murderbot to-date. And, I haven't run any polls for covering other things. That's because I'm pretty well set on rereading the Wheel of Time series, and revising my previous notes to this format.

It's something I could keep putting off, but the show has gotten so good, and it reminds me of all the things about the books that I loved so much (and how the show is fixing some things I didn't love). I'll also be very excited to do full-series spoiler posts again, Murderbot didn't have a lot that I felt needed commenting on, but the Wheel? Oh, buddy.

But, the caveat here is that the Wheel of Time has, well, fifteen very large books. Eleven thousand pages, over four million words. Coverage would take about three years if I didn't take breaks for other books in between, and I definitely will, so we're gonna be here for a while. I've said before that I was hesitant to cover Discworld for this, and I still am. Discworld has over forty books just in the main series besides the spinoffs, with a comparable total wordcount to WoT. Several of those, I have negative interest in ever rereading. Even if they're largely shorter than WoT bricks, they're also trickier to split, and I won't have as much context to share about them that isn't available elsewhere already. Whereas, the Wheel of Time lacks a lot of spoiler-free resources in print, despite the series being almost 35 years old. There was a huge influx of podcast coverage once the show publicity ramped up, but not so much blog style content. The few prologues and chapters that do need splitting, I've already calculated out from the first time I took the notes.

Mind you, I will be finding time for Alecto the Ninth coverage when Tamsyn Muir finally graces us with her presence, I'll just take a break between whichever WoT books I'm up to by then. And if something else strikes my fancy, I might alternate books. Like, making it through the Eye of the World might scratch the itch well enough, and make me want to dig into the Princess Bride as I threatened to once before, or perhaps when I reach my least favourite sequence of books in the middle, I'll alternate them with the His Dark Materials trilogy, though probably not its supplementary later materials because I'm still refusing to read the Book of Dust.

I totally understand if folks who followed me for other stuff want to jump ship when my WoT coverage starts. I love and can recommend it with some massive content notes and caveats which will be in my intro post for it, but it's not for everyone and treating it like a universal joy is nonsense. But, especially if you can get a library borrow of the first book, whether you get it in print or ebook or either of the incredible audiobook narrations (the full series by Michael Kramer and Kate Reading, or the first three are now available narrated by Rosamund Pike, who plays the character of Moiraine Sedai on the show), I hope you'll give it a try with me, and my analysis and commentary might help pull you into a series that's otherwise quite intimidating.

So, System Collapse will finish posting on Christmas, I think I'll take the last week of the year as a breather, and the Wheel of Time will kick off my 2024. I hope you'll consider sticking around and reading with me, especially my Locked Tomb girlies because I've said it before and I'll say it again, these two stories have SO much in common, hashtag Women's Wrongs and unreliable narrators. And, I am gonna try to break it up every so often since these are LONG books, most of them have 40+ chapters so will be two months apiece. But either way, if I'm gonna follow my heart, it's gotta be next.

#blog housekeeping

[olderthannetfic]

Do you use a story structure? If so, which one?

--

I... what?

You mean like setting out to write The Hero's Journey or something?

I'm supposed to be finishing a draft by Monday, and I spent all morning writing, so I am desperate to procrastinate and do literally anything other than write my draft by now, of course, so I will happily blather about my process. Haha.

Since I was little, I've read a ton of books that are very structure-focused, mystery in particular. Romance tends to have a canned structure, but mystery makes it even more obvious, especially if you read a lot in the same subgenre like Golden Age cozies.

I don't know if my brain was always like this or if a steady diet of Nancy Drew and then harder books made me like this, but I have a very instinctive grasp of structure. I'm on the extreme end of planner rather than pantser, so I outline everything to death, but my plotbunnies also come to me with a fair amount of workable plot already included.

Googling gets me a bunch of how-to articles, so I guess I do understand what you're asking, but when I hear the words 'story structure', I think of a descriptive framework applied after the fact. I look at structure while trying to analyze a work I want to imitate or when revising a story that isn't working well enough.

I do dimly recall trying to structure an outline according to some writing advice books years ago, and I did look at things like Three Act Structure at the time. I remember finding it awkward. Even the examples these books give where they wedge a famous movie into the structure usually confuse me. Why is X the end of act 2 rather than the beginning of act 3? It often feels arbitrary and subjective.

When I outline, I do often think things like "This is Agatha Christie pastiche, so it needs 2 red herring murderers before the real one is revealed". And then I go find 2 big red herrings.

That eunuch porn fic I was talking about the other day came to me as a plotbunny for the first chapter: Tang Fan has been captured by villains and is unsure if Wang Zhi is evil or not. Wang Zhi lets him know he's not by quoting Tang Fan's most embarrassing writing back at him since there's no other way to communicate in front of the villains.

It was, of course, an image from Romancing the Stone where the hero asks what kind of sick mind came up with the trap they're in and the heroine has to admit that it's from her own novel. I wanted that dynamic with Tang Fan and his canon love interest Sui Zhou who doesn't know he writes trashy novels. (For those who haven't seen Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, this is an actual canon thing. Tang Fan does the women's voices while he's reading his trash romance aloud to himself too. Best show ever.)

I wanted other POVs, so I quickly realized I would probably want three chapters, one from each POV.

I also realized that the big point of the fic is who knows what when, so the internal structure of chapters is entirely things like Tang Fan anxiously trying to figure out whether Wang Zhi is evil and then the climax of that or Sui Zhou freaking out about what's been going on and then the resolution of it being Tang Fan's idea after all.

But I wasn't thinking in terms of three act structure or anything like that. I was thinking in terms of individual emotional arcs and rising tension, then some kind of catharsis or climax, then rising tension about something else, etc.

I do think about the building blocks of structure, like inciting incidents. I find those parts more useful than trying to follow a canned whole.

Oh! I did try the snowflake method once, and it's similar to how I naturally operate but I found that trying to do a specific method actually just cramped my style.

[literaticat]

I sent out 45 queries for my novel ms and received 30 form rejections (the remainder are likely ghosting, which is fine). Not a single request or personalized rejection. I paid for a service where an experienced agent reviewed my query and sample pages and basically said they were fine as is. Betas were positive too. Should I shelve the ms? I feel like I've queried all the agents I could in the genre, and the 100% rejection suggests I've done something wrong, but I don't know what. I'm stumped.

The problem of course is, I have no possible way of knowing. Like -- ??? -- I can't diagnose your problem, because I haven't read the work or the query, I don't know you, etc -- I can't tell you if you really HAVE exhausted all the possible agents in the genre -- and so I can't tell you if you should shelve the ms.

I will say this, though: I think a lot of people think, "Oh I've heard it's hard to get an agent and be published, but honestly, how hard can it be? Like sure it's hard, but it's not HARD hard!" -- or even if they would NEVER say that, secretly, in their innermost heart, they don't think it applies to them. (I'm not saying YOU think this -- just generally, I think a lot of people misunderstand what "hard" really means?) -- the statistics are stacked against you. Agents sign like 1% to 3% of the queries they get, maybe. There are more queries than ever so agents are more swamped than ever.

I don't say this to dissuade you, or anyone -- just being realistic. So knowing that -- something doesn't just have to be "basically good" or "fine as is" or "positive" -- to even be considered it has to be BETTER THAN GOOD. It has to GRAB HOLD OF THE READER'S IMAGINATION from the premise and query alone, and the pages have to live up to the promise of the premise.

So, knowing all that, these are the possible problems -- again I can't tell you WHICH yours is, but it probably falls into one of these buckets:

The query is not great: it doesn't convey the stakes and energy of the book, the killer premise, the characters people will want to root for, etc.

The pages are not great: I assume you sent 10 or so pages to most of those folks -- maybe the query is phenom but the pages are not compelling enough,

There is something broken in the very premise of the book -- like you are basing it on some piece of flawed reasoning that you cant' see because you're too close to it (like this is a romance and the "Hero" is a flat-earther who rejects science -- I'm not saying we can't have a book with those themes -- but they are going to be pretty tough for most agents and editors to swallow as *traits for a hero in a romance novel*)

You are targeting the book poorly -- aiming it at the wrong audience, say, or maybe your comps are too old, didn't do well. I can tell you from experience that A LOT of people think they have written a YA when it is clearly MG (or vice versa) based on voice and themes, or comped books that are completely inapt - this all speaks to just not really being immersed enough in the world of kid's books (yet!)

OR -- ALL OF THIS IS PERFECTLY FINE or even GREAT. But it's just not getting picked up for no reason at all -- it's just not quite there. Maybe it will be with revision -- or maybe you're just ahead of your time, and publishers will catch up eventually -- or maybe this is the first pancake where you were still learning and the NEXT book will be The One.

So perhaps I would not say "shelve it" in a permanent way -- but maybe it's a good idea to put it on the back burner and work on something TOTALLY fresh and different. Then when you are ready to come back to this, distance and experiece and "fresh eyes" will allow you to have a bit more perspective about diagnosing the problem with this one. (And at that point I'll bet there are more/different agents to query, too!)

[stellamancer]

Stells!!! Stella-Bella—here’s mine to ask you:

🎙️ + 🤲🏽 + 🧿

stella-bella.... aaaa merms that's so cute....

i have placed a cut cuz i rambled a lot LMAO.

which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT A PODFIC WAS OMG. this is not the answer; but definitely not anything i've written that has ~explicit~ material. And probably not anything that I've done that was a little more on the abstract side or has a lot of scene changes cuz I think it would be easier to follow that way. So at that point.... of recent work then & here i am alive? Oh, you know what, I think a horror fic would work best for this. I have not written any horror fics, so I guess I should do that LMAO.

what do YOU get out of writing?

Stress relief? Ironic since sometimes the process of writing is stressful. It's a bit of escapism, or like, day-dreaming and fantasizing but the end result is, in a way, tangible, and I can come back and re-read it because sometimes I won't remember (especially if I daydream right before bed). But it is a nice creative outlet, and I notice that I have way less... sobby mental breakdowns when I write or actively think about wips LMAOOO.

what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Mmm. I usually don't mind all that much if something doesn't do that well as long as I'm satisfied with it, because at the core, I'm writing for me. Though I won't lie, posting/comment serotonin is real. LMAO. And, as any writer i think, will know, one really, really nice comment is enough to make your day.

So I guess that I'll talk about the writing experience not going how I want to because god I feel that right now LMAO. I've been working on editing this one chapter of &hiaa on and off since October- October!! I actually did a revision of it and handed it off to my beta and he said, 'well it's passible, but it's super awkward for the first half of the chapter, though the second half makes up for it.' And like, I wasn't pleased with it anyway, so I've been working at it and it's come to a crawl, especially because I've looked at it and been like 'wow this sucks it's like an infodump i hate that.'

And when the writing isn't going well, I try to step away from the wip, you know, get some air, think about some other things or work on other things or play games or something and the hope is to come back refreshed. Though that hasn't been happening with this one. So something else, I like to try and do is think of it from another angle. And I finally thought 'hey instead of thinking of it as an info dump, think as if you are spilling the tea, because that's basically what it is.' In theory that's supposed to work, but I haven't actually sat down to write and find out LMAO. Oops I rambled.

#ask meme #merms tag #I REALLY DID RABBLE OMG #i should put that under a cut #THANK U FOR THE ASK #i'm on pc but i have the pleading face emoJI LMAOOO

[blacksgarden]

Just wanted to check up on ya, how are you feeling? Did you have a great week? Just tell me about your week.

Bc that would be lovely to know that someone may have had a better week, bc I'm really feeling shit firstly bc of my period and secondly bc me and bsf share an account on capcut (Which I really love) but she posted a video and someone asked something in the comments about her wanting to tell her fake friend about her depression and them my bsf, answer her "no don't tell her their fack and you know it, I have tried it with my friend and now everyone know." I'm so afraid it is me she is talking about bc she tells me everything and I told like two ppl I trust and now I wonder if one of them told everyone about it, I'm just so afraid she will take her own life, and I can't live without her. (Not me crying while writing this) 

Anyways hope your doing well.

Hey lovely, I'm doing quite well, thanks for asking! I haven't been as online as I used to be, so my replies might be really late 😭

My week has been great! I've started to focus on improving myself and becoming the best version of me. So I've been exercising, reading, revising, writing, drawing-- basically rediscovering myself and finding out what things I like and dislike once more. I was in a dark place before, and fortunately, now I'm not.

It's actually really fun, to go through this process, in my opinion. It's like waiting for the butterfly to come out of its cocoon, and I really can't wait to see how my transformation looks, you know?

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad week, darling. But I'm also happy you felt comfortable enough to share it with me! It's always good to share these things, penting things up only hurts you further.

I feel you on those period cramps, they honestly are the worst. I used to have really painful cramps! It was so bad, the only thing that pacified it slightly was curling into a ball on my bed 🥲 Painkillers did nothing to help me, but I found hot packs helpful. Maybe you could try that and see if it works for you too!

Also, sharing a capcut account sounds really cool! Sharing anything personal with a best friend is always an amazing thing to do. It's like weaving a little piece of both of your hearts together into an adorable scarf 😆 In which the scarf is a part of the shared bond you have together.

Oh honey, cry your heart out if you need. It's okay. Any relationship whether it's platonic or romantic can be difficult at times. But one key thing to make it work is communication. Just talk to your best friend. Ask her what she meant and who she was talking about. Jumping to assumptions isn't going to solve anything, if not make things much worse.

I get the fear of not wanting to push a friend in fear of them taking an extreme measure in response. I have a friend that was like that. It's best to just ask, listen and talk it out. Try not to interrupt her until you both properly understand the situation the other is facing. Let her speak her mind and when she's done, you tell her what went through your mind and how you felt. For all you know, it's probably someone else she's talking about 🤷‍♀️

People like her just want someone to listen to them, you know? Trust me, cutting them off sometimes can be sooooo.... I don't have the words to even describe it 💀 I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just best not to upset them further than they already are.

I hope this week was slightly better for you, luv. And I hope that things between you and your best friend gets better. Don't hesitate to reach out again, I enjoy your messages 😁

#blacksgarden #gardener's tricks

[notrlyawriter]

Book Review #1 - Ink Blood Sister Scribe

Sinopse: In this spellbinding debut novel, two estranged half-sisters tasked with guarding their family's library of magical books must work together to unravel a deadly secret at the heart of their collection--a tale of familial loyalty and betrayal, and the pursuit of magic and power.

I didn't have time to review this for spelling errors, so please ignore those.

Stats: Cawpile: 9.1 Stars: 5 Started: 1 jan 2024 Finished: 20 jan 2024

My thoughts:

I kinda liked it, kinda didn't. I have so many mixed feelings with this one, if I can say that, because I feel like I haven't felt much. But overall, my Cawpile ratings say it's a good book. I sincerely can't comment in dept why. I loved the characters, that's for sure. Furthermore, I think I liked more Nicholas and Jo POV compared to Esther, but all of them are good. It took me longer than I thought to finish, but I think it was due to the fact that I'm busy rather than the enjoyment of the book. Anyway, it was 5 stars, but a 9 rather than a 10.

Characters / Relationships- 9.5 It's safe to say that this saved the book for me. The characters are really good, and the relationship between them made everything better. It was nice seeing the building of each of them individually, then the necessary adaptation once they got all together, and the ending gave me a feeling of Found Family <3 which I love. I took a half point there because the romantic relationships didn't really get to me. I kind of hate both of them, and the second one feels super forced.

Atmosphere / Setting - 9 I loved the ideas presented, but I wish they were explored more in depth. The library was the only one that felt well-developed. I wanted to know more about the system that Collins' family has going on, and even the girl's family house felt like just an afterthought most of the time, conveniently having the devices that the plot needs. Still, the atmosphere was good, and I liked these settings. Many times, I felt like I was watching a movie and got lost in the reading process, which for me is a good thing.

Writing Style - 9 I did not mind it, even though there was an extremely inconsistent usage of words that definitely Do Not Belong There and there were times when things would simply not make much sense. And I have to repeat the very eloquent joke earlier rebloged "It sure is about ink, blood, sister and scribe.". It felt like a well-done fan fiction [those that were actually edited and revised]. Things did feel like they happened too late, and the book felt like it ended when it was starting to get good, but I'm not really mad at that. I'm not one to over-critique people's writing styles, and this one doesn't inspire much hatred.

Plot - 10 Oh my god, this plot!!! There was so much there that I loved. The plot was what got me interested at the beginning, and when they introduced the actual elements of it, it actually got me hocked. The plot and the found family aspect are the best things about this book.

Intrigue - 9 There were a lot of questions upfront that sparked curiosity, but after 8 chapters, the same questions kept being played around, and it got a bit tiring. But I think the buildup to the main ones and the answers were satisfying enough, and I have to say that some even surprised me, so overall not bad, but eh? I gave 9, because I don't know, and 8 didn't feel right.

Logic - 8.5 This one suffered the most, but I have so many reasons, so many instances of things happening when they probably shouldn't or were not possibly. I laughed out loud so many times at the silly mistakes that a better outline would have fixed. I guess an invisible person can't be seen, right? That's the norm, right?

Enjoyment - 9 As I said before, I don't know much to complain about in this book; apart from some silly things and the forced romantic relationships, I don't think it's a bad book. I had fun reading it, even with the silly mistakes and the overused words.

#ink blood sister scribe #book review #booklr #book talk

[yummy-little-stories]

My grandpa is dying.

The reality had not exactly settled in until this very moment. I didn't know the man very well, but I did know he was funny, well-spoken, an author, and rather revolutionary, at least for the time he was brought up. I've never read one of his books. I feel a bit guilty about that now. He'll never know what I thought of them. Unless, of course, there is some sort of higher place a conciousness moves to once the body has failed. Then I hope there is some way for me to reach someone there. Like a heaven call center. Maybe that's what religious people are doing when they pray. Calling heaven's tech support line.

Anyway, my grandpa is dying. I haven't ever truly confronted death before. Like, I know it happens. I'm aware. I've had people and animals die in my life before. In fact, just last year, my brother-in-law died. I didn't know him well. When he lived with us, he was like a shadow of his former self, from what I knew of him before. He had liver problems and struggled to eat while he was here. Skinny, like a skeleton.

I suppose my grandpa looks a bit more like a ghost, or a zombie. Some kind of ghoul. That might be rude to say, but it's true. The man passed long ago, and he lives just far enough away that in some ways he was a ghost to me already.

Sometimes, I tell myself I havent really lost anyone. Not anyone I have been close enough to, I think. I suppose that pattern will continue. I suppose that's probably why I am so deathly afraid of the whole affair. The whole perishing thing, I mean. I was going to say "deathly afraid of dying," but that felt like a bit much, don't you think?

Part of me wants to read over this post, analyze it, maybe revise it. Part of me worries I won't post it if I do. Or maybe that I might dare to feel something about the things I wrote about. Or maybe that the whole thing might be a bit too edgy to post. But I'm just going to post it, I think. No revisions, just a pure stream of thought. Maybe that's what this whole blog is going to be.

Anyway, my grandpa is dying. The nurses say he might not last through the night. We don't live anywhere nearby, so I'm probably going to have to go on a road trip. I do like road trips. And it will be nice to see family. But my grandpa is dying. And I'm afraid I, yet again, won't allow myself to greive.

One day all of these deaths, losses, and mistakes will all come out.

I haven't cried, really cried, since the night I read Oathbringer. There were some extenuating circumstances, I must admit. Another all-day binge, missing classes, disappointing my girlfriend yet again. But I did cry a lot that day. Most of them emergency-therapy-session tears. Then, later, when I read to calm my nerves, I got to the scene where Dalinar finishes the words in Oathbringer. And I cried happy tears. Maybe I exhausted all the tears then.

Anyway, my grandpa is dying. My new year's resolution is to let myself cry about it. Oh, and to write more. I guess that's what this blog is for.

#death #sad #prose #thoughts #grandpa #emotions #grief #loss