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the-fiction-witch · 4 months

Text

Young Love P2

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SMUT

Requested I NEED part 2. I love it. Must need part twoooo This is amazing! Waiting for part 2 part 2 plsss ❤️❤️ Part 2 please I can't wait for part 2 ❤ Part 2 plsss I it's so cute I couldn't help myself but laugh because I would have done the same thing to my friends

I sat at the table on my third drink since I took my seat, My family of course was eager to ask questions but I didn't want to speak. Maybe this was all a terrible idea.

"So Dr Dawkins, how long have you been seeing our sweet Y/n?" My mother asked,

"Ohh Almost a year now, isn't that right my darling?" He smirked in my direction, his hand coming to settle on my thigh

I glared but smiled and nodded, before I quickly grabbed his hand and crushed it as I forced his hand away,

"oww" He complained to quiet for anyone at the table to notice, "Don't be vicious darling." he whispered,

"Ohh that's just lovely," Magnolia smiled, "Reminds me of our own courtship." she smiled at her husband Sam,

"And tell me do you have intentions to continue with my daughter?" My father asked,

"Ohh yes, certainly sir." He nodded, "We were thinking of a spring wedding weren't we my darling?" He smiled leaning on his hand and blowing me a kiss, But I stomped on his foot under the table, He shot me a look as everyone talked about themselves "I'm doing what you asked."

"Dail it back loverboy."

"So? Do you two think soon we can expect splendid news?" my mother asked and the table silenced,

"Yes, very soon I'm sure." He answered,

"Ohh wonderful!" She smiled,

"And of course, we'd be expecting young ones?" My father offered,

"Ohh Absolutely, we had discussed it, of course, four children we were thinking my darling?"

I glared at him with rage "Yes... Dear."

"Wonderful! Young love is so sweet and beautiful now we only have little melody and all our sweet little ones will have a love of their own," My mother smiled, "Ohh how I remember the moonlit strolls, the sweet shared cookies, the secret words whispered at windows, the thrill of love bites hidden from others eyes, of muffling the lustful sounds of intimacy behind pillows for fear of walking the house, the unbridled torment and ecstasy of young love."

I held my breath trying not to answer, my parents had always been like this so affectionate for each other that they often failed to realize that's not the sort of thing you tell your children about when you are their age.

"But of course, you two must be well aware of such things,"

"...yes absolutely," He nodded, "Your uhhh" he coughed," Your daughter and I are well aware."

"Wonderful, and of course now you are no longer a secret Dr Dawkins, you are welcome to stay the night with y/n so long as you two just let us know." my mother smiled,

"We wouldn't want any sudden interruptions now would we?" My father added,

"I- I Can?" He gulped,

"Of course, we trust a doctor to know the best ways to... help our daughter," my father winked at Jack,

"Yes, of course." Jack nodded shooting me a glance as if to ask 'Are they serious?' and I just nodded in return, "well that uhh that will be nice won't it darling"

"Yes... it will" I rolled my eyes

Once dinner was done I very quickly took Jack back to my room mostly to try and hide, Immediately I jumped on my bed and hid my face away,

"Your uhhh your parents are weird."

"Yeah, I know..."

"They have literally only met me for dinner, and they are completely fine with me banging you."

"Jack, don't call it that."

"Having sex with you then. They are... really accommodating..."

"They are weird."

"yeah they are... and it's bloody weird, I feel kinda bad I'm not having sex with you they seemed like they really wanted me too, I feel like I'm a disappointment all of a sudden."

"the deal was cookies and Beer Jack I'm not sleeping with you."

"Can we amend the deal?"

"To?"

"Every time I need to pretend to be your boyfriend, you have to sleep with me."

"No."

"Then the deal is off and I'm telling them-" he said heading to the door

"No no no!" I stood and grabbed his arm, "ughhhh fine! One orgasm per performance."

"Not one orgasm, sex."

"Ohh sex is finished after you orgasm"

"Not necessarily, One orgasm could be you just pawn me off with a handjob and my performances are worth way more than that."

"Fine... Sex. Per performance."

"Thank you, I will accept a blow job."

"I bet you would, it's just easier for me to sleep with you at least then I can lay down and my jaw doesn't get tired."

"Good, we have a deal?"

"Do I still owe you a pound a kiss?"

"Let's say a kiss for a kiss how about that?"

"Fine."I sighed,

"Good, we're agreed then, Now? where's my reward for such a stellar performance darling?" He cooed wrapping his arms around my waist,

"I'm really gonna hate you aren't I?"

"Yeah you are, but you can't argue 'cause you wanted this." He smirked, "You asked me to pretend to be your boyfriend, so I'm being your boyfriend," he smirked grabbing my arse,

"Fine, let's just get this over with. And don't be loud I already know my parents are assuming there fucking in here I'd rather it not be confirmed," I sighed moving to the bed,

"Grumpy little girly today,"

"Just get this over with Jack." I sighed,

"Alright, how do you want me darling?" He smirked crawling on my bed, "I get to hold your hips and thrust your face into your pillow? do I get to hold your legs around my neck? or am I gonna get you bouncing on my cock?"

"You get to work with the side while I lay down with my book," I told him laying on my side and grabbing a book, He rolled his eyes as he slipped his waistcoat and shirt off laying down beside me and wrapping his arms around me and kissing my shoulder, He took my book from my hand and tossed it to the side "Hey!"

"You're not going to need to entertain yourself with me, darling," he cooed as leant down to nibble and kiss my neck tugging down my dress to expose my shoulder to him his kisses getting more intense and lustful slightly biting,

"Don't bite Jack i don't need my mother pointing them out,"

"Aww come on? it'll be cute, I want them to look at you, see your cute little hickies and say humm look what Doctor Dawkins did to Y/n"

"One Hickie." I warn,

"I better make it count then," he growled, he kissed up my neck and found a spot I couldn't hide he made sure to nibble and kiss it first before he bit me like a goddamn vampire from one of my romance novels leaving a hard dark hickie on my neck I did my best not to gasp but it was fairly difficult given his attention his hand quickly undid my dress and slipped his hand under the now looser fabric to grab my breast "Ohh perky little girly aren't you?"

"Hey, I said sex I said nothing about my boobs."

"Boobs are a very important part of sex, come on I just wanna make you feel good too why do you keep trying to stop me?" he cooed between kisses, "ohhh your body doesn't wanna stop me?" he growled as his hand grabbing and groping my breast had caused my nipple to get a little hard "Listen to your body darling," He growled tugging on my nipple to make it even harder before pinching it between his fingers and rolling the tip between his fingers

"Ughhh!" I squealed before clamping a hand over my mouth

"Awww see, you are enjoying it." He smirked, "Humm imagine your family are tucking themselves in bed right now, all of them can hear you screaming, and they all know what we are doing." he smirked,

"There just assuming."

"True, so even if you don't make any noise you know your whole family is sitting in their beds knowing I'm about to bang your cute little body,"

"Jack don't call it that."

"Bang, fuck, sex, whatever word you wanna call it... " He rolled his eyes tugging up my dress till he exposed my skin "Ohhh now that's a little juicer then I expected." he smirked smacking my arse

"Hey! Jack! don't I'll-"

"Aww you don't want me to make you too sore? Don't worry darling I'm gonna make you so sore your cute little arse can't even sit down to dinner with them tomorrow." He smirked forcing down my panties and moving his hand to stroke my clit, Immediately I bit my pillow not wanting to give him the satisfaction that I was enjoying it, "Awww what a cute little girly, such a pretty little pussy, open your legs or I'll throw you on your knees."

I knew I couldn't argue so I moved my leg to let him work,

"humm what a good girly," he cooed undoing his own pants and tugging them down, he gave himself a few gentle strokes before he slipping himself inside me "Ughhh fuck! Ummm! you should have made me your fake boyfriend years ago" he growled as he held my hips firmly digging his nails into my skin as he aggressively thrusted,

"And why is that?" I asked trying so hard not to scream as I felt the pleasure of him moving

"cause I've been waiting to fuck you since I met you, if I'd known faking being your boyfriend for one night was all it took to get up in my little girly, Humm your family would want me marrying you by now after all these years." He growled, often biting and kissing my neck with the movement of his hips.

"Ughhh Jack," I began to whine from the overwhelming pleasure my eyes often rolling back,

"Awww see you do love me," he smirked, "Don't worry little girly, I'll make you cum" he smirked rubbing on my clit as he thrusted my bed creaking and banging against the wall from our movements, "Ummm listen to that fucking noise your parents must think there banging like rabbits." he growled, "Then again, I guess we are aren't we."

"Jack faster please-"

"Yeah? Ughh you sound so good begging me for more, But... I can't, you feel you good little girly" He began to slow so I gritted my teeth, I hated admitting it, I hated what I was about to do, and the endless satisfaction it would give him,

.... I'd never live what I'm about to do down...

But I'm not stopping, I pushed his hips gently turning us so he laid on his back and I sat on top of him gently moving my hips at the speed I wanted him at,

"Ohhh fuck! you bad bad girl!" He growled grabbing my hips to guide me to bounce on him, I admit he looked amazing laid on my bed in only his shirt, his hair slightly sweaty and out of place, leant on his elbows against my pillows moaning under me as I worked, "Ughhhhh fuck! yeah? you want me darling? I'm not even your real boyfriend and you need me so badly?"

"You are a cocky little bastard, Jack,"

"Yeah, I am. You seem to be enjoying my cock enough though," he smirked, "Ummmm! why the hell did I spend so long playing card with you, I should have been bending you over the table"

"You bend me over the table I'll bite you."

"That a promise little girly?" he smirked slapping my arse as I got faster and faster, "Or maybe you'll just feel me inside you and remember how good I make you feel."

"Ughh just shut up and move Jack!" I yelled moving his hand to my clit, he happily began rubbing on it again his other hand grabbed my dress almost ripping it to force it away enough to get at my breast which he happily groped and plaid with my nipple, "Ughhhhh!"

"Ughhhh fuck you sound so good!" he groaned, "humm what would your family say they saw you like this, their cute little daughter bouncing on her doctor?" he gasped,

"Knowing my parents... they'd probably correct us on something."

"annoyingly I think you're kinda right." he joked,

but I reached my peak biting his neck as I did which in turn got him to his own edge burying himself deep inside me

"UGhhhhhhhhhh! Yes! yes! Y/n!"

I did my best riding it out as he all but collapsed against bed until I couldn't move anymore and I fell face-first into my pillow on the other side of the bed, we gasped and tried to regain our composure,

"I'm really gonna enjoy this arrangement..."

"Ohh shut up Jack..."

"Love you too darling."

I yawned and forced myself up, my body still knotted up with Jack as after all that had happened last night we just kinda collapsed and slept in one another arms, still in our clothes from last night, I forced myself up and rubbed my eyes for a moment looking at Jack as he slept, humm... for such a cocky dick, he can be kinda cute when he's sleeping, I smiled a plaid with his hair a little which didn't even make him stir, so I moved and gave his lips a little kiss, but as I pulled back he opened his eyes,

"Morning,"

"AHh! Christ you made me jump!" I complained, "I didn't know you were up,"

"I'm awake... just about."

"Morning,"

"Morning," He smiled,

"Particular reason you're still here?" I asked climbing out of bed,

"I'm meant to be your boyfriend, aren't I? Boyfriends sleep over sometimes."

"Do they?" I asked starting to change out of my dress from yesterday,

"They do, they cosy and cuddle up with your girlfriends"

"weird,"

"We did have sex last night."

"I know, I'm still sore and... sticky."

"Yeah sorry about that, I'd have pulled out but... you were a little too vicious with me."

"Still I'd much prefer we have sex and you bugger off."

"That's not how boyfriends work Y/n."

"Yeah well, I don't like boyfriends, hence the whole point of you faking to be mine."

he smirked looking at me

"What?"

"You're really wondering why I'm looking at you when you stood at the foot of the bed without your dress?"

I rolled my eyes, "You're a doctor I don't care, you've seen a hundred naked ladies, plus anything important I have you saw last night anyway."

"True." He smirked, "What is your issue with boyfriends?"

"Fictional men are better, you ever read anything by Jane Austin? Ever. Trust me after Frederick Wentworth or Fitzwilliam Darcy." I explained, "You can't go back to the chaos of real men."

"You can't fuck a book y/n."

"I would if I could Jack." I said getting a clean dress for the day, but he moved to the end of the bed not bother to tug his pants up and grabbing my waist to pull me to stand naked between his legs

"That what you want little girly? You want me to quote Jane Austin at you, to read you a Shakespearian sonnet, to make you feel loved?"

"... couldn't hurt Jack," I admit,

He smirked kissing my sternum as he spoke "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

I gasped doing my best not to squeal as I looked down at him,

"Like that darling?"

"Eep." I squeaked,

"Aww you're so cute little girly," He smirked, he slapped my arse and continued to kiss my chest and breasts, "You're cute when you let the hard shell down a little."

I was about to speak but my bedroom door opened to my mother, Immediately I grabbed the sheet to cover my naked body leaving Jack to grab the hem of his shirt to cover himself too, but it was kinda too late, "Mother!"

"oh, do excuse me. Breakfast is ready." She smiled, and for a moment her eyes looked over me she obviously saw what was happening before I grabbed the sheet but she looked carefully now to ensure she saw exactly what was happening, and for a moment her eyes lingered on Jack a moment as if she was.. inspecting him, "Will you be joining us Dr Dawkins?"

"Uhhhh yeah, yeah I will," he nodded sheepishly given he not only got caught half-naked by my her but also making out with the breasts of her naked daughter,

"Good, well I'll be off then," She smiled leaving the room and shutting the door behind her,

"she saw us?"

"Yeah, she definitely saw us." I sighed, "Fuck."

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs smut #thomas sangster imagine #tbs imagines #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas brodie sangster #thomas sangster #tbs #jackdawkins #jack #jack dawkins #the artful dodger #thearttfuldodger #theartfuldogger

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crystillyzed · 10 months

Text

safe and sound // sonny brisko

pairing: yandere!sonny x gn!reader

summary:

no matter where where you go, he's always watching you.

HEAVY warning(s): dark content, yandere sonny, stalking, manipulation (emotional abuse), guilt tripping, victim blaming, SUPER toxic relationship

disclaimer: i do NOT approve any of the characters’ actions and behavior in real life! if you are in a situation exhibiting this type of behavior, please consider receiving help! and all vtuber related work is not for the streamer behind the avatar, but for the character themselves!

a/n: i saw this clip the other day and now i gotta write it 🤭 also PLEASE read the warnings! by clicking/tapping on the read more, you are willing to read dark content/yandere content that may potentially trigger you.

"Ah, there you are, darling! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Sonny?!" Shit. How did he find you? He always put some sort of tracking device on you, even on your clothes when you're sleeping. You were pretty sure you destroyed any sort of wiretap and camera, and you're sure you left everything behind. No phone, no electronics, nothing! So how the hell?

"Oh? You look surprised. Did I scare you?"

"No! No, it's just... um..."

Shit. How can you get out of this?

He chuckles deeply behind his mask. "Didn't I tell you?" Step by step, the black capped blonde approaches you slowly, essentially forcing you to back yourself to the brick wall. "I'm always watching."

Taking out his phone from his pocket, the device lights up as he holds the screen towards your face. Your eyes widen in shock as he shows you security footage from surrounding buildings not too long ago. Footage of your whereabouts outside of stores and in the streets.

“You’ve been following me?”

"Of course! I'm not that cruel. I only love you, that's all. What's so hard about that?" He lowers his mask to hang beneath his chin. Sonny's eyes darken as his head cocks ever so slightly to the side. "Unless you don't love me...?"

"It's fine. I don't need your protection. No one was following me, I'll be fine, okay?!" You glance at the exit for a split second then quickly refocus your gaze onto Sonny. "You said you love me, right? So give me some space. Like, just a day of space. Away from home! And… And I'll be back, okay?"

"Oh darling, you know that it's dangerous out here! I'm one of the top officers, aren't I? And that means there's lots of scary evil people chasing after me." He leans closer to you, breath practically tickling the shell of your ear. "And that means that they're coming after you."

"It's fine!" Immediately, you shove him back with as much force as possible. You slide out from his space in the process, sidestepping your way out into the open space of the alleyway as subtle as possible. "I can just, call for a cab and stay at a friend's place until then. Yeah! I'll be fine! I'll be safe with a friend! Listen, I just -- I just need some space for myself. Okay?"

"A friend? You're not talking about Alban, are you?"

Shit.

Upon seeing your face, an eyebrow raised in amusement. Sonny laughs once more, soon taking off his hat to brush back his hair. With the cap in his hand, he takes a few steps towards you as he tucks his phone back into his pocket.

"Oh? You didn't know? He left."

You freeze.

"Alban's been trying to get a hold of you for such a long time, but you never replied. So he thought you didn't want to talk to him anymore and naturally... He left."

"What? I've -- I've never heard about this! He stopped texting me after we..."

Again, he tilts his head. "After we...?"

"After we... moved... in..."

Realization shot through your mind. This never happened before. You and Alban are so close to each other, he should’ve noticed that something was up when you haven’t seen each other in so long! God, you should’ve noticed it too when you suddenly stopped receiving calls or messages from him. Everything that you had with him for so long just… stopped. This never happened before!

"What --" your foot stomps towards him, "what happened to him? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"

Surprised by your outburst, he shoots up his hands against his chest. Waving them frantically in front of him, he responds, "Woah woah, calm down! I didn't do anything! He just left on his own, that's it. And the same applies for everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Your family? The rest of your friends? They all left! You should've seen what they were saying about you. About us."

He puts back on his hat, readjusting it to cover his head nicely. Once his hat was back on, he looked back at you with pity as he further explained, "They gossiped about how you’d leave me alone for days or weeks on end without telling me where you’d go. They would even talk about how heartless you are when you talked about leaving me! They didn't want to support you, nor did they want to support me. So they took the easy way out, by leaving you."

The man approaches you once more, his eyes never leaving your face as you do nothing but stare at him in shock. "They were conspiring against us, telling all of my enemies of my whereabouts and what you were doing to me!"

He starts to trail around you, circling you with a piercing stare that practically holds you in place. "You were so cruel to me! So... heartless."

Shoving his hands into his blue jacket’s pockets, he shakes his head in disapproval and clicks his tongue. "Word spread so fast that everyone thought that, hey, maybe it's safer if we just leave you. They don't need you. They don't even want you. All they want to do is cut you off and go about their lives! And now you want to go back to them after they left you? After you’ve hurt me?”

Disbelief and despair washes over you. Your head spirals deeper and deeper as your thoughts were plagued with these ideas. Why would they leave you? You didn’t do anything bad to them! This wasn’t your fault, it was his! It’s his fault that everything is like this! Or… was it really…?

You chose to date him. You chose to be with him. You even chose to stick with him through everything thin or thick because you loved him.

Loved…

Did you really love him?

“Sonny, I --” your voice breaks, tears start to brim at your eyes. You try to force yourself to speak about why you want to leave him. About why you’re sorry.

He notices your tone breaking as you can’t help but wipe at the tears threatening to fall down your face. Hurriedly, he closes the gap between you and immediately pulls you closer into his arms. "Shh... It's okay, it's okay… I forgive you. Sonny's here, okay? I’m here. No one can get you now... No one."

You feel his warmth welcoming you into his embrace. You couldn’t help but pull yourself closer into him, pressing your head and your body deeper into his hug.

As he softly rubs his hand against your back, he shifts another towards the back of your head. He gently coaxes you to look at him despite your ruined state. Rather than a look of disgust, you’re welcomed to love and adoration in his eyes and his smile. You close your eyes as his face gets closer, his lips pressing ever so gently against your temple. He tightens his hold around you, humming so peacefully.

"You're safe with me, and I'll always keep you safe. Always."

a/n: god he's so evil 😌

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijien #noctyx #sonny brisko #sonny brisko x reader #noctyx x reader #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader #cw yandere #cw emotional abuse #cw manipulation #cw toxic relationship #cw victim blaming #cw stalking #— a simple dream // writing #dark content

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cross-my-heartt · 11 months

Text

Rewriting Rebels Thrawn (Part one?)

Hello everyone, I was planning to do some comparison posts for Rebels Thrawn and canon book Thrawn (because as it turns out they are very different) but then I got another idea:

What if I took scenes from Rebels and reimagined them to better fit Thrawn's portrayal in the canon trilogy and Ascendancy? This way we not only get to talk about CB Thrawn but also compare him to his Rebels counterpart.

So this is what we'll be doing here!

Also, I want to point out that this post isn't meant to dump on the Rebels version. Both are valid iterations and which one you prefer is up to you. This is merely a fun little exercise for myself and a post for those potentially curious to know more about CB Thrawn.

So without further ado, here's the scene we'll be looking at for this post (minor spoilers ahead):

There are three things here that will need addressing:

One, Thrawn's open display of anger. Two, his demonstration of physical violence. And finally, what motivated them in the first place (ie Slavin referring to the Klaikori as trash and suggesting they get rid of it).

In the show this scene suggests that Thrawn is the calm polite type whose composure is only a veneer. The kind of character who's unpredictable because they're cool and suave on the surface but show their true colors when provoked.

Canon book Thrawn, in contrast, demonstrates a composure that is very much real. He is so composed in fact that it often throws his opponents off balance, especially if they're purposefully trying to get a rise from him.

On the rare occasion he does display anger it's usually through a tensity or rigidness of sort (lips thinning, posture going stiff, his tone turning tense, etc.) and his overall manner becomes more cold and clipped as opposed to aggressive or passionate.

He is also a capable fighter but only resorts to physical violence if it serves a purpose. For instance, the first time he and Eli are in a fight, Eli doesn't even realize Thrawn can hold his own because he's holding back as part of a bigger plan.

In general CB Thrawn is more likely to intimidate opponents by revealing his ability to defeat them, making his weapon of choice verbal intimidation. Add to that a lack of sadistic inclinations and you get a character who's unlikely to resort to violence as long as there are other means of achieving his goals.

Can he be ruthless? Yes. But not in a situation that doesn't call for it. Which brings us to the thing that prompted his outburst:

Slavin's comment is something that's unlikely to elicit such a reaction in book canon Thrawn. Namely because he's more than used to people's attitude towards his art obsession. He's been ridiculed for it in both the Empire and in his home world and he never reacts to it aggressively (the few instances he's open about his feelings on it, he's more resigned than angry).

Thrawn faced similar alienation (pun intended) in the Empire for being an alien and even then Eli seemed to get more upset on his behalf than Thrawn did. Because again, he's used to it.

Now. With all of that said.

How would I rewrite this scene to fit book canon.

For starters, Thrawn keeps his composure, merely telling Slavin that his opinion is the reason why he's not calling the shots in this situation. When Slavin asks him what he means, Thrawn tells him that he's clearly not capable of appreciating the Kalikori's value, implying Slavin's incompetence.

Even better, Thrawn gets confused when his comment angers Slavin - in the books Thrawn is often incapable of distinguishing compliments and insults from factual statements - and he politely apologizes to Slavin, telling him that he didn't mean his words as an insult but was merely stating the facts.

Throughout the whole scene he's neither condescending nor annoyed or smug. He keeps a calm steady tone and leaves Slavin feeling wrong-footed and humiliated.

So the whole thing would look something like this:

"We should just destroy that piece of Twi'lek trash."

"And that is why, captain, you are not the one making the decisions here."

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"I am merely saying that you are unequipped to appreciate the value the Kalikori holds for us."

"Unequipped?" [Slavin sputters, indignant] "I would like to point out, sir, that I have been here on Ryloth far longer than you have."

[Thrawn stops and blinks at him]

"My apologies, captain, my comment seems to have offended you. I did not mean to cause any offense. I was merely stating the facts as they are."

[he turns and continues walking as if the topic is closed]

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm conducting an experiment that requires my attendance."

Alright, that concludes this scene! My subpar writing aside, I'm curious to hear what any book fans might think. I won't be going through each and every one of Thrawn's scenes but I hope to cover those that are the most obvious candidates for a rewrite (and oh boy, hopefully none of them will need as much revision as this one).

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn trilogy #thrawn trilogy spoilers #thrawn books #sw rebels #rebels thrawn

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rainbowsky · 1 year

Note

hay rainbow,

Dis u see this?Its so hilarious

twitter.com/LiLi_Rksa/status/1640384000370810882?s=20

Yes, as a matter of fact I did.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Along with this clip. And it is something I want to address because I think this is a very important issue for all turtles to be conscious of.

I am referring to the way that video clips can be used to manipulate and mislead people. While I think it's likely the 'eyeroll' clip you shared was edited, even actual, real-time unedited footage can be misleading. A segment of action is selected in a way that removes context and gives an impression that might not be accurate.

I have another clip I want everyone to take a look at, one that is not being shared in turtle circles - one that paints an entirely different picture of what's happening. I think it would be pretty difficult for people to look at this clip and claim that GG and YZ don't get along, or that GG was avoiding being near her.

So, just a bit of a reality check and reminder for turtles - myself included, as I was taken in by one of the clips - that we must always thoroughly investigate claims, particularly negative ones, before buying into them. Very often we are being misled.

Now, that's not always intentional. Someone might just see something happening in some footage and get angry and interpret it in a certain way, and then share it with others, completely not realizing that they aren't seeing the whole story. But the narrative gets written and reinforced and we all go along for the ride.

So what is really happening on that stage?

Well, it looks to me like GG and YZ are getting along fine. It's possible they agreed to appear together in the final shot, maybe to appease those who voted them to be Weibo king and queen (they were chosen in the vote by a wide margin but likely didn't want the dubious honor again).

From what I can see they appear happy to do so, and I don't see any animosity or contempt between them. The idea that GG hates her is a popular turtle narrative that I think is clearly incorrect. And I vastly prefer the idea they are friends to the idea that GG is being plagued by someone he hates.

And a dear friend pointed out to me yesterday that there's likely a more charitable explanation for the guy manhandling GG in that one clip as well.

As we may already know, it's a cultural thing for people in China to be almost competitively modest, trying to defer to the other person, step aside and let others in front of them, etc. We see GG and YZ doing that to each other at the foot of the stairs to the stage. DD also did this as he was taking the stage that night, and he frequently does this with trying to bow deeper than other people, etc.

And as my friend pointed out, it looks like GG was doing that a bit with the guy directing traffic - modestly trying to let others ahead of him so that he wouldn't end up standing at the center of the stage (the place of honor).

It's possible that man was just nudging GG to his rightful place near the center (where the Weibo producers would have wanted him as one of the most popular stars of the night) rather than let him bow away from the spotlight. I hadn't even noticed that there was this weird light sign thing that they were all posing behind, I wasn't really paying attention to that, but the Weibo producers would have wanted him near the center for their photos.

I think the 'modesty' interpretation is much more charitable, and given all the evidence I think that we should at least consider the possibility that's what happened there.

I think CPN and personal interpretations are totally fine - everyone gets to decide their own take on things. HOWEVER, I think we need to be very careful about what sort of picture we paint of GG and DD, what kind of people we claim them to be at the very least. This turtle narrative of GG hating YZ often paints GG as a vindictive, angry, even rude person.

For example, there was a turtle claim that GG kicked the hem of YZ's dress in anger and moved it out of his way, when it's far more likely - and far more in character for GG - that he moved the hem out of the way so that it wouldn't be stepped on. It's more likely that he was being a gentleman and looking out for the safety of another person. He would do that for anyone, we know that about him.

And aside from what we claim about GG and DD, we should also strive to be fair and honest about the people around them. I've said this about Du Hua and about Meng Ziyi, and now I'm saying it about Yang Zi - we need to stop piling hate on the women around GG and DD. It's so toxic and so misogynistic.

I need to be clear that I'm not condemning anyone who has felt those things (nor am I judging Anon). I myself have fallen prey to some of that. We are all just doing our best based on the information we have. But I feel that - for myself anyway - when we're presented with unadulterated evidence that we were wrong, we need to revise our position based on that and admit where we were wrong.

We also can't be constantly threatened every time a woman comes within ten feet of GG or DD. I see this happen a lot with turtles. We shouldn't be so insecure. We know GG and DD love each other, and that these women are just friends and colleagues.

I've always felt it's so sexist that women are treated that way, to be honest. Like they can't be friends with men without it being treated as something more. And then everyone wonders why men and women struggle to understand each other and get along well. Maybe if they were actually able to socialize freely with one another without it being treated as sexual or romantic, maybe they'd be better at connecting with one another.

Gender role heteronormativity is such a negative force. Let's try to keep ourselves in check, and look out for the ways that it might be encroaching on our own interpretations.

Just my two cents about it.

EDIT: Follow-up post here.

#fandom reflections #weibo night 2022 #ggdd entertainment circle #bxg fact checking #bxg perspectives #it's in the air it's all around #ask

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nakimkcapstone · 1 month

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From my Weekly Engagement

Being mid-production of my final presentable, one thing I need to be more aware of in the future of general production is understanding limits of my actors, my production, and just my overall ambitions.

Many people know the story of Icarus and his journey too close to the sun. Unfortunately for me, my capstone started to mirror that.

My goal of this production was honestly very ambitious. So much to the point where I was looking to try and do all my dialogue for the short film in Japanese. My hope was to find cast who was able to fluently speak in Japanese, while at the same time being able to communicate and direct them in english. I shot myself in the foot with that request as it began to make me question “was it worth it?”. Subsequently, when I did find people who were willing to be a part of my production, Japanese was not one of their languages. Even people who were speakers that I asked to help me proof-read my script were not entirely 100% fluent, and could only help me so much. Ultimately I had to dial it back, as the closer I am to the end of the semester, the more I realize that my vision for something bigger was a little too close to the sun.

Fortunately for me, this wasn’t the end. I have found a great cast of people, all of which are talented actors, and they have been able to guide and help me out as much as they could; calling in favors to other friends and meeting with people who did know the language to at least bring some sort of authenticity to my project. I am very thankful for their passion and ambition with this project, even though at some points it sounds very unachievable, but that is sort of the point; to push myself into this unknown area and figure it out. That’s the only true way to build character.

I am learning that even though the focus of my capstone is to try and allow AI to help me as a tool, that there are still so many other factors and aspects that I just need to do, no hesitations. With this moving forward, I aim to rehearse with my actors, finish gathering my props, and make sure everything is smooth as possible for when we do finally start our principle photography, and from there we will move forward.

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yelena-bellova · 2 years

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Unlucky: (Eventual) Steve Harrington x Fem!Subject Reader

Chapter Eleven: Happy Birthday, America

Series Masterlist

Plot: Steve and Nancy teach Tini how to ride a bike, and Tini steals back what the lab took from her.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none really, no use of y/n

A/N: More of a mini-chapter, but important nonetheless. We’re getting so close to s2, I can taste it. I’m so excited to take that eventual label off the the title 😏 Enjoy!!

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JULY 1984

“Okay, remember, the most important thing to remember is to center yourself.”

“I don’t want to do this.”

“C’mon, you got this.”

“No, I don’t want to do this.”

My breath felt like it was stuck in my chest as Steve held onto the handlebars of Nancy’s bike while called out instructions.

“You’ve done great so far,” she encouraged, “You haven’t fallen once!”

“Yeah, with training wheels,” I cried, anxiety raising my voice for me.

“Teen, you’re going to be fine, and if you fall,” Steve slapped his hand against my helmet, “This’ll keep you from cracking your skull open.”

I turned around and shot him a look, “How is that reassuring?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders as Nancy yelled back. “Tini, you’ve got this!”

Shakily, I inhaled, and placed a foot on one of the pedals. Steve had promised to hold onto the handlebars until I told him to let go. I hadn’t fallen yet. These became rhythmic chants in my head as I lifted my other foot off the ground and let myself roll down Nancy’s street.

“Good, good…” Steve said as he moved alongside me, “You’ve got it, you’ve got it…”

My breathing quickened as I kept going, pedaling with both feet. Steve began to sprint just to keep up with me.

“You’re doing it!” Nancy cheered.

“I’m doing it!” I smiled nervously, “Okay, I-I think I’m ready.”

“You sure?” Steve asked.

I gripped the handlebars a little tighter, “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he removed his hand, but kept running alongside me, “You’re doing it!”

It finally hit me what I was doing, I was riding a bike entirely by myself. A weekend of lessons from Nancy and Steve, the two of them determined to teach me one of life’s essential skills, and I was actually doing it.

The two of them cheered me on as I made the turn around Nancy’s cul-de-sac and back to the end of the street. My braking was a little rocky, but I made it off without crashing. Nancy threw her arms around me and Steve high fived me. Another little victory had been won against my past.

—————————

The high didn’t last on account of the fact that I didn’t own my own bike.

“Okay, but think of it this way,” I followed Hopper around the kitchen, “It’ll save you money in the long run.”

“Uh-huh,” Hopper unenthusiastically listened, a spoon hanging out of his mouth, “And how do you figure that?”

“You drive me everywhere,” I stated as he handed me items from the fridge. It was the day before grocery shopping day and we were trying to put together some sort of dinner. El and I had named them Puzzle Piece Meals.“Meaning you spend extra money driving me to and from school, the Wheelers, babysitting…if I had a bike, I could do all that myself. Freeing up funds for things like food and water and power.”

Hopper shut the fridge door, looking mildly amused. “How poor do you think we are?”

“I just mean that your money is better spent on so many things other than driving me to pep rallies,” I explained in between sniff-testing vegetables, “Plus, while you’re driving me around, who knows what kind of crime is taking place? If you think about it, I’m benefiting the whole town by not taking up so much of your valuable time.”

Hopper laughed, “So it’s an act of public service, me buying you a bike.”

“Hey, you swore to protect,” I shrugged my shoulders, “That comes in many different forms.”

I peeked over to where he stood, wondering if my argument was working, and was met with a smirk that I’d learned was out of love and only a little annoyance.

Hopper crossed his arms and smacked his lips. “If I buy you one, you do realize curfew is still in effect.”

My back straightened, had it actually worked? “Wouldn’t dream of a world without it,” I rushed out.

“And I’m gonna make you run errands,” he continued, it was a test to see how badly I really wanted it.

“I know where all the stores are,” I replied, challenge accepted.

“And there’ll be perimeters as to where and where you can and cannot go.”

I squinted, “How is that different than now?” There were designated places in Hawkins that Hopper deemed to dangerous for me to go. There weren’t many, but he’d marked them on a map in red marker and I’d never once tried to visit them.

“A bike makes it easier to get to places you shouldn’t be,” he answered.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I answered honestly. Hopper and I had a good thing going, we’d finally found our groove. I had no intention of messing that up now.

Hopper thought it over a second while I waited with bated breath. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was really only thirty seconds, he answered.

“It’s not gonna be some super, mega, gold-plated thing, but it’ll have whee-“

I surged forward and hugged him, “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.”

His hand came around my back and patted it. In the course of our relationship, I’d hugged him maybe three times but when I did it, I meant it with my whole heart.

“Okay?”

I turned around at the sound, it was El. She’d been napping when I got home and had just woken up, looking so much like when she was a little kid.

Over the past few months, I had started to feel more guilt over going out while El was forced to hide at home. When it came to talking about my life outside the cabin, I had been trying to keep it to the bare minimum. Especially when it came to talking about the Wheelers. She missed Mike terribly.

“I…Hopper’s making me learn how to ride a bike so that he doesn’t have to drive me to school.”

“Oh,” she nodded, “Dinner?”

“Yep,” I nodded, moving around Hopper and holding up the last Eggo in its bag and some frozen carrots. “Puzzle piece meal?”

El smiled and moved to help me fix her plate up. Hoper raised an eyebrow at the lie I’d told, to which I shrugged. Someone had to be the bad guy and I couldn’t bear El resenting me.

The next day, Hopper brought home a standard blue bike with a basket. It wasn’t anything fancy, which didn’t matter to me. The freedom it came with was all I needed. I rode up to Nancy’s house and surprised her, she shrieked and threw her arms around me. A whole new world of possibilities had opened for the summer.

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Hawkins’ 4th of July Celebration was in full swing when Steve, Nancy and I pulled up. I’d been content to bike there, so had Nancy, but Steve had insisted on driving us over in his BMW. He said we’d look way cooler, and appearances were everything to him.

We ran into a few people from school, though most people our age, I’d been told, were more interested in shooting off fireworks at home. As had frequently been the case, the three of us stuck together. Third wheeling had stopped feeling like third wheeling after Steve and I became better friends, making Nancy happy.

Our trio was eating on top of one of the picnic tables set up in the open field. There was a massive buffet filled with everything from burgers to watermelon to ice cream. The air smelled like charred meat and sugar. We were in deep discussion about burger toppings when a woman came by, handing us each a cupcake and saying ‘Happy Birthday, America!’

“That might be the strangest way to say ‘Happy 4th of July,” Nancy mused.

Steve agreed with her while I stared at the cupcake. We had never known our birthdays in the lab. I wondered from time to time if mine fell on a school day or a night I slept over at Nancy’s or grocery shopping day. It existed somewhere on the calendar, it just wasn’t mine to know.

“Hey,” Steve’s voice pulled me out, “Why haven’t you just chosen a birthday?”

I looked up quizzically, it was like he was in my head.

“I mean, people chose America’s birthday back in the 1700s,” he further explained, “Why can’t you pick yours?”

“Is that your way of saying you semi-paid attention in history class?” I laughed.

Steve rolled his eyes. Nancy shrugged, “He’s got a point. You know how old you are at least. The day doesn’t really matter.”

“I’m taking a guess at my age,” I corrected her, “But…you do have a point.”

I thought it over, thinking about what specific day I wanted to be mine. The day I came back to Hawkins? The day Hopper took me in? The day El came back?

I ended up choosing the day that I realized I could steal back whatever I wanted from the lost years of my life.

“Today,” I beamed, “Today’s my birthday.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed as Nancy clapped, “Today’s your birthday. America and you.”

“America and me,” I repeated, high fiving and squeezing his hand.

“Ooh, hang on,” Nancy handed her plate to Steve and ran off in the direction of the dessert table.

“I’m forgiven if I’m late buying you a present?” Steve joked.

“Is it lame if I say you and Nancy are gift enough?” I smiled, meaning it. The summer spent with them had been the most fun I’d ever had.

“Absolutely,” Steve said, before nudging me and smiling, “But your lameness is saving me money.”

It was getting hard to imagine my life without Steve in it. He was an asshole sometimes, but his redeeming qualities outshone any dislikable parts of his personality. He was someone you wanted on your team.

Nancy came running back a moment later holding a candle, having gotten it from one of the moms who had brought America a birthday cake. Steve had a lighter on him and pulled it out.

A chorus of my name got called out from a ways away. Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will came running in our direction. At lightning speed, they all started asking me if I’d finished creating my D&D character. They were determined to teach me how to play.

“Okay, guys,” Nancy announced, carrying the lit cupcake to me, “Make room for the birthday girl.”

“Wait, birthday?” Mike asked.

I looked proudly down at my cupcake, “I decided today is my birthday.”

“Cool,” Dustin grinned, before breaking out into song, “Happy Birthday to you…”

Soon enough, they were all singing. It was too touching of a moment to not well up at. Dustin and Will came on one side of me and Nancy on the other, the rest of them creating a circle around me. When I blew out the candles, it felt like another middle finger raised to Dr. Brenner. Another win against the against everything in life that had tried to break me.

———————

A/N: Savor the joy now, because we’re diving back into angst next chapter. Hope you enjoyed!

Unlucky Taglist

@milkiane @raynelbabe @kik51199 @hazydespair @burn1ngw00d @fanficfanatic204 @stratospherewalker @caitsymichelle13 @potatoflavoured @guichi @triscuit-reads @angelbbygrl @finalgalnancy @thel0v3hashira143 @m-rae23 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @dessmxsworld @teeacooper @liberhoe @superhero-missouri

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine

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latenightdislyte · 2 years

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Sick Day (SFW) Jacob x Reader

Notes: This was originally named Personal Heater, but ya know. Now enjoy a caring Jacob.

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A comfortable warmth flowed through me as my mind began to awaken. I continued to lay with my eyes closed not wanting to move and ruin it. I had been so exhausted and out of sorts last night that I almost didn't do my nightly routine and usually when I'm that tired I sleep like a rock and regret it. But this morning was pleasant and comfortable. I didn't want to get up.

I snuggled into bed even more, enjoying it, when I noticed a weight on my waist. I thought it was one of the cats curled up at my side, but when I moved my hand down I was not met with soft fur. Instead I was met with soft fabric and a solid limb. The moment my mind registered the arm wrapped around me I shot up and quickly darted over to the opposite wall, steadying myself on it, feeling very light headed, and facing the intruder.

An exasperated and relieved sigh passed my lips. "God damn it Jacob. You scared the shit out of me." The intruding man stretched and yawned looking at me with a pout. "What's the big deal? Why'd you go and do that, I was having a nice nap." I glared at him half-heartedly. "I told you, I don't mind you hanging out here, just as long as you let me know before hand." He huffed and propped his head up on his hand, looking quite annoyed. "I did, you didn't pick up my calls or answer any of my messages."

I looked at him questioningly before making my way back to the bed, grabbing my phone from beside my pillow. Opening the home screen, it was like he said. There were 7 missed calls and over 20 texts from him. My expression softened as I read through all of the messages, they started at mild confusion to my unresponsiveness and quickly evolved into extreme concern for my safety. It made me feel bad, I didn't mean to worry him so much.

I sighed and looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were trying to get ahold of me. I must have already been asleep." His pout melted to worry, he laid his arm down and rested his head next to it. "Are you feeling alright? You didn't stir when I joined you and you feel warmer than usual."

I thought about last night, I was feeling very... unusual. Through out my entire shift I was the slightest bit light headed, very sleepy and extremely warm, often having to sit down for awhile to dispel some oncoming dizziness. I didn't take my temp when I got home though, I just got ready and went straight to sleep. Thinking about it made me realize how I felt currently.

After getting up and moving around the comfort I had felt previously was no more. My face had warmed, my stomach grew upset and my head began to feel out of sorts from being light headed a moment ago.

I groaned and flopped down on my pillow. "No, I guess I'm not feeling well. It started last night at work." Jacob sighed before pushing himself up and lazily crawling over me, stumbling in the process making me laugh lightly earning a playful glare from the serpent blessed man.

I could hear him rummaging through some cabinets in the kitchen, but didn't really pay much mind to it, he did this on occasion. *CRASH!!* Flinching, I sighed at the loud noise. Of course he would.

I pushed myself up, now sitting on the edge getting ready to stand, but Jacob came rushing in and refused to let me, pushing a thermometer in my hands. "Take your temp. I'll clean that up. It was just a glass." I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly as he made his way back into the kitchen.

Jacob returned a few minutes later, now without his jacket and with a glass of water and some medication. I lay back, sprawled out on the bed with the thermometer in my mouth, eyes closed. "Hey now," He nudged my foot. "No falling asleep just yet." He removed the thermometer and I sat up, taking the glass and meds from him.

"100.5!? Hope you don't have work today, cause you're staying here." I groaned in annoyance and looked at my phone. 12:26 pm. "I do have work today. My shift starts at 5pm. I've taken meds now and I'll rest up some more. I should feel better before I have to leave." "Nope." Jacob grabbed my phone and opened it, making his way out of my room. When he got my password, I have no idea. "Hey! What are you doing? Give it." I got up and started to follow him out, but he quickly turned around and ushered me back, setting me on the bed. He had the phone pressed to his ear. "Jacob! No!" He grabbed my arm as I reached for my device and held it "Jacob. I'll be fine. I swear. There's no need for me to call in!" Apparently someone had answered his call as I was talking because he was no longer paying 100% attention to me.

"Hi, can I speak to the manager? It's about an employee of yours." "Do you have to word it that way?" I tried to snatch the phone with my free hand, but before I even got close he had let go of my arm and pressed his palm over my mouth, pushing me back to lay down on the bed and straddled my abdomen. I grabbed his arm and playfully glared at him.

Suddenly his attention was directed back to the phone.“Hey, I’m calling on behalf of one of your employees, (Y/N).” He returned my look with a triumphant smirk. Rolling my eyes, I let my arms drop in defeat. “Well, her shift is supposed to start at 5pm, but she won’t be able to make it. She’s running a fever over 100 degrees.” He paused for a moment. “Uh huh, of course, she’s right here with me. I’ll give her the phone.” He removed his hand from my face and held out the phone for me. I gave in, taking it from him. “Hello?” “Yeah, I just woke up not to long ago. I actually start feeling bad last night, but I just ignored it and worked through it.” “Yeah, that’d probably be best. I really wore myself out making that decision and am still running a fever so…” “Alright, thank you. See ya later.” I ended the call.

“You’re insufferable sometimes, ya know that.” “Your sick, someones gotta keep you from exhausting yourself.” He got up off of me and left the room once again. I resituated myself on the bed, laying down on my side, not even bothering to get back under the covers, getting ready to drift back to sleep when something cold and wet came into contact with my forehead.

I reached up and held the wet rag to my face as Jacob climbed over and laid behind me, snuggling into my back. A hand placed itself on my waist. “Get some sleep. I hope you feel better later.”

#dislyte x reader #dislyte #sfw #dislyte fanfiction #dislyte writing #jacob dislyte #jacob (jormungand)#jacob x reader

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lover-i-lover · 2 years

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Headache

I yawn, sitting up in bed. A splitting headache is the first thing I'm met with it. Fuck. This is gonna a rough day. I get out of bed, the ultra white walls not helping my headache. I grab my Camp Jupiter shirt, then remember that I'm at Camp half-blood, and get a Camp half-blood shirt out instead. I get dressed and head out to breakfast. I eat half heartly. Not really hungry but I force it down. I'm half asleep at my table, I almost fall into my food several times. The sun's too bright and it's annoying my eyes even more. Only now do I realize, I forgot my glasses. After breakfast I take the short way back to my cabin and get them. But the short way is still way too fucking long. I take the short cut to the arts and crafts area, the sun getting in my eyes all the way. I take the only open chair and listen to the teacher. No one bothers me about being late. The teacher bring in up a Aphrodite boy, getting him to lazy about in a round chair with a white fluffy blanket. Great, paint. This is gonna be messy. I grab a pencil and try to sketch the scene. I set down the canvas for a second, holding my head. I take a deep breath, and pick up the pencil again. Continuing to sketch for a while. I shift so I'm not getting the sun in my eye as much. I move on to the paint. I'm in a haze for the rest of class, looking up, painting, stopping, getting some water, looking up again, painting again, stopping again, and getting more water. The class ends, and my painting is finished. It looks okay, it's good, considering the state I'm in. There's paint all over my hands, so I head to sink and scrub it off. "Are you okay?" It's an Athena camper, She looks worried. "I've got a bad headache" Only after saying that, do I realize that I'm taking to Annabeth. Fucking shit man, this is really bad. "What you got after this?" She asks. "Um, I've got, um" I rub my eyes. "Wall climbing" I say finally. "Maybe you should stop by the infirmary first" She says. "No, it's only other thing I have today" I mutter.

"Oh right, you're still on half days, cause of the whole temple design thing. Just make sure you stop by the infirmary after" "I will" She gently pats my shoulder and walks away. I head of to the climbing wall, which is also too fucking far away, I just wanna go back to bed and hide from the sun. Does Apollo hate me or something, with glint of it, my headache becomes worse. This can not be normal. I just need to get through this class, and go back to bed. I should get this check out. I mean it's not the first time, but it's definitely the worst one I've had. I drag myself to the climbing wall. I'm put with the Ares kids and the Dionysus kid i can't remember the name of. As we go about class, I'm more clumsy then usual, I lose my footing, I fall, and I can't seem to focus. Chiron pulls me off to the side, halfway through class. "Is something wrong?" He asks. "Sorry, I'm off my game today, I've got a real bad headache, just looking at the sun or light makes it worse" I mutter. "I think it'd be better if you just go to the infirmary before you get seriously injured" I can't even look at him, He's standing in the sun. "Yeah, okay" i murmur and leave for the infirmary. My body's a bit heavy, it's hard to walk, my head is ponding, and I'm sweating in the summer heat. It's feels like I've been shot through my forehead. I was suppose to draw up some more temples today, but in this state, I won't be able to do anything. I think I'll have to lay with my head buried into my pillow. The Zeus cabin doesn't have curtains, so the sun just streams in though the windows. I come up on the step of the big house, stopping at a pillar, holding onto for a second to balance myself. Then push on. I'm seen by Will, who's quite concerned. "You say, the sun makes it worse?" He asks. "Mhm, the sun, any sort of noise, focusing on anything that's written" I wave my hand around a bit as I explain.

"Okay" Will says, making his voice low and soft. "I don't think that's headache, I think you might have migraines" "What?" I ask. "Um, A migraine is, i guess a more intense headache that you can't really do a lot about. You should just find a quite, and dark room to lay in" "That's all I can do?" "Sorry" He whispers. "Where I am suppose to find that, my cabin is the fucking opposite" I grunt. "I'm really sorry" Will repeats. "Would you like me to get Nico?" Will asks. I nod and Wil leaves me alone on the cot. I fell back on it and close my eyes. I haven't seen Nico all morning, seeing him now is the only real thing I want. I want his arms around me, I crave his touch, his touch wouldn't make it go away, but having him around during times like these is the only thing that makes me feel better. I wanna be held and be only with him. I throw my arm over my eyes, incasing myself in darkness. The rustling of the infirmary around me. I shuffle on my side and curl in on myself. Pain blooming out from head. It's almost like my head is made of metal that's being overheated. I'm sweating more then ever, My clothes are sticking to my skin. There are gently fingers on my hand, grazing up my wrist. I peal my eyes open, seeing Nico crouched down in front of me. "Let's get you to my cabin, that's dark and quite" He whispers to me. I mumble out a sound for yes, sitting up and getting out of the cot. Nico links my arm with his, lending me outside. He halts us just outside the door of the big house. Pulling me to the side so we wouldn't be in the way of anyone wanting to leave. He wraps his arms around me, and I relax into his touch. Letting my head drop onto his shoulder. He runs his hand up and down my back. "I'm sorry you have to through this" He whispers twisting his head and presses a light kiss on the place where my shoulder meets my neck.

I snuggle into his skin. That underworldly, pomegranate smell. He's the only one who has that smell. He pulls back from me, linking his arm with mine. I keep my eyes on the ground as he walks us to the Hades cabin. He hums lowlily as he unlocks the door, he grabs my hand and guides me into the dark cabin. It's not completely dark but darker then mine. It's not the first time he's bought me back here when I'm having a day like this. It's actually the norm when I'm having a headache- no a migraine. He sits me down on his bed, and he goes around drawing the curtains. I take off my shoes, Nico always insists on it, He's told me it's just a thing from his childhood, he says it's makes living here easier for him. I get comfortable in his bed, laying down on the right side, which had become my side. The Hades cabin is the prefect place to be on a day like this. It's a good while away from the other cabins and a fucking long while away from mine. So it's pretty quite. I've started spending the night here more often, especially on days like this. My head hurts so bad. I vaguely see Nico bend down to take off his own shoes. I relax into the soft mattress. I close my eyes, hoping to get some sleep. I hear Nico shed his jacket and lay down with me. The bed creaking a bit under his weight. I peak my eyes open a tiny bit, turning on my side. He's laying on his side too. His eyes are gently, gazing at me with love. I tug on his shirt, a small hint we've made. He shuffles over, gentle arms wrap around me. I shift down a little, laying my head in the crook of his neck. I breath in his sent, relaxing into his hold. He slips his hand under my shirt, resting his surprisingly warm hand on my lower back. I snuggle my face into the skin of his neck. The pain doesn't go away, but having Nico around is a good distraction. The soft, gentle touch's of his hands, the light brushes of his fingers.

This is the best distraction I've found so far. And a good reason to spend more time with Nico. I shift a little. A hand runs through my out grown hair. Almost petting my hair as a small consolation. I've been in this pain for about 3 or so hours now. It should be over when I wake up again. My body goes completely limp in his arms. Even through the pain, I slowly fall asleep. I open my eyes a couple of times, but they're too heavy, and they fall closed again. It only feels like a couple of seconds, but when I fully wake up, it's getting dark outside. Nico's by the door, talking in a very hushed tone with who I think might be Annabeth. I yawn and sit up, there's a very small buzz in my head. The migraine's gone, replaced by a very very slight headache. They both fall quite and look back to me. They don't say anything, but the question is still there. "I'm okay" I murmur, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Is the migraine gone?" Nico whispers. "Mhm" I mumble, pulling the covers off and almost rolling out of bed. "What time is it?" I murmur, clinging to Nico's arm. Annabeth chuckles. "6:30, dinner time" she says. I shiver a bit in the summer air. Nico slings his arm around me. "You cold?" "A bit" I say. Nico lends me his coat, which is a bit too big on him, which means it fits me perfectly. And we all head off to dinner. It's open seating, which is unusual, but I'm happy to be able to sit with Nico. Sitting at the Hades table, I'm reminded why I don't like to take naps. Because I'm tired, clumsy, and quite clingy. When Nico's like this, I think it's cute. But when I'm like this I find it weird. Nico on the other hand, finds it quite adorable. We go through the normal routine of dinner, offering food to the gods, and we sit down to eat. I eat half heartly, almost falling into my food at time, Nico catches me every time. Gently grabbing my face to steady me, eventually deciding it was better to keep an arm around my shoulders.

"You okay?" He asks. "Yeah, yeah, just tired" I mumble, setting my plate aside, and leaning into his side. Nico chuckles lightly, smiling a bit. "What?" "You slept for 6 hours Hon" He squeezes me gently. "Huh" I mumble. I does not feel like that. I smile as Nico drags me to the campfire. He's not a big fan of the sing along at the camp fire, but he knows I'm love it, So he pulls me along to find a spot to sit. We take a spot in the dark, so we can snuggle if we want. Which, of course I want. Nico's normally not a cuddler, but he doesn't stop me when I snuggle up to him. I lay my head on his shoulder. Leaning into his side. He leans over, plating a light kiss on my forehead. The pain's gone away all together. I still haven't fully woken up. Nico always says that I take a while to wake up, normally about an hour. I smile, snuggling into his neck. Looking back on tonight, I feel a slightly embarrassed about I was acting. But right now, in the moment of tonight. I'm happily sitting by Nico, cuddling into his side. He wraps an arm around my shoulder. He snuggles his head against mine, whispering. "You are being adorable" He kisses the top of my head and sits up again. I hum in agreement, shifting a bit. Nico's offered a marshmallow, he takes it, sticks it on a stick, and spins it by the fire. I'm later told that I was offered one too, but I don't recall it. I'm half asleep on the bench by beside him. At some point, some how, Nico get me to move onto his lap. It's not really a thing we do, but tonight it's okay, tonight it's just another sigh of affection that no one comments on. I would never normally do that. One, I'd be worried about crushing him, because he's smaller then me. Two, I'd be worried about what everyone around us would say. But in this state, I'm not even sure who's around us, I'm just tired and happy to be in my boyfriends lap. We should do this more.

I let myself lean back on his chest, lacing my finger with his hand, the hand that was laying on my thigh. He squeezes my hand. Nico leans his head up, resting his head on my shoulder. I vaguely see him pull the marshmallow off the stick with some crackers. It' gotten very dark, and more quite. Some people have left. I hear him eat it, almost slowly, carefully. I shift a back a little, Nico shifts a bit. He wraps an arm about my hips. Gently pulling me back, until I'm fully sat against his chest. He plants a kiss on my neck. A small, I love you. A small, you're mine. A small, I love having this with you. I make some sort of embarrassing noise. I'm almost asleep in his lap, I don't really remember the rest of the night. I smile. Nico rustles me a bit, he's asking me something. "Wha?" I yawn. I rub the sleep out of my eyes. "I think we'd better get you to bed" He chuckles. "What, no I'm fine" I mumble. Nico shift me a bit, leaning up to whisper in my ear. "Baby, it's bedtime" He places his teeth onto my ear. Ready to bite if I don't comply. I hear a small whine slip pass my lips. There a chuckle next to my ear, and he pulls back. He gently pats my thigh, and I know he wants me to move. I shuffle to my feet and he get's to his feet too. I cling to his arm as we walk back to the cabins. He's got an arm around me, holding me tightly against his side. Nico yawns and pulls me along to my cabin, which is the closest. He takes the key from around my neck and he unlocks my door. We're not suppose to have keys, but we do. He pulls me into the now dark cabin, flicking on the light. I close the door behind me. Pulling my heavy body to my bed. We both shed our clothes, stripping down to our underwear. The summer sun had baked the inside of the cabin, making it incredibly hot. We get in bed, laying on either side. Refusing to lay with a blanket because of the heat. "I love days like these" I murmur. "What? you were in pain for most of the day" He says. He turns on his side, and I turn too. "Not that, I mean, spending almost the whole day together, like this"

"I wanna have this more"

"I'd like that too"

#jason x nico #nico x jason #nico di angelo #jason grace #jasico #thunderworld #hoo

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lightsburnbrite · 2 years

Text

The Inevitable End: Part 3

Leon stopped by Serge's apartment after practice one evening to pick up some paperwork and ended up staying to talk. They both looked up as Marissa let herself in.

Stopping short, Marissa glared at Leon. "Uh, you have a lot of nerve being here."

"What?" He looked back at Marissa, genuinely puzzled. "What did I do?"

She scoffed as if he should have automatically known what she was talking about. "You were a complete jerk to Lilli. Honestly, how dare you?"

"How have I been a jerk?" He was getting defensive now. "Ok, I blew her off once, which was shitty of me, but it's not like I've treated her any different than she has treated me."

Marissa cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose before rubbing his eyes as if he was annoyed that it even needed to be said. "Your friend, Irina or whatever, she sent me a DM saying that Lilli has been trying to get her foot in with-"

"Ok, first, Lilli doesn't need your money or whatever else you what to think to boost your ego." She shot him a look that was just short of a glare. "Second, Irina is the one who wants some sort of internet fame and I think it's appalling that you'd take the word of a stranger over one of your close friend's partner."

Scratching his eyebrow, Leon shrugged. "I mean…I don't know."

"Well, it's not like that matters anymore." Marissa basically dismissed him. 'I'd be surprised if she'd still want anything to do with you."

"Maybe I should call her and clear things up." Leon was mostly thinking aloud but that didn't stop Marissa from responding.

"No," She shook her head emphatically. "No you will not, just leave her alone, ok?"

Leon gave a noncommittal nod but soon said his goodbyes and excused himself. He was supposed to meet some friends for dinner but cancelled when he couldn't shake a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. It didn't click in right away but he soon realized it was guilt over the way he had treated Lilli. Obviously he didn't want to exacerbate the situation but he at least wanted a chance to clear the air with her. He decided to give it a couple days before he got in touch, he'd apologize first and if all went well, then he would pursue an attempt at a relationship. Suddenly, what seemed like the perfect opportunity presented itself.

Lilli glanced down at her phone and rolled her eyes when she realized Leon was actually calling her. She swiped the bar at the bottom of the screen and sighed before she spoke. "So, when I said please don't text me anymore that didn't mean to call instead."

"I know, Lil. It's just…I was hoping you'd give me a second chance?"

She hesitated for a moment. "What do you want, Leon?"

"So I want to start by saying that if you can't, it's ok, but I had surgery and I was wondering if you'd be willing to take me home from the hospital and maybe hang out at my place for a bit?"

Lilli pressed her lips together and forced a smile. "So your idea of an olive branch is me taking care of you?"

"I was kind thinking that showing myself in a vulnerable position would be the olive branch." As soon as he spoke, Lilli knew the exact face he was making, down to the puppy eyes and slight pout. When Leon started again, his tone had shifted to a more serious tone. "I really fucked up by not taking what we had seriously and not treating you the way you deserve to be treated and if we're being honest, I genuinely miss you."

This time she sighed. "I don't know, Leon. I appreciate that you want to make things right but-"

"It's ok, I get it Lil. I just needed to let you know that I can't stop thinking about you."

Covering her eyes with her hand, Lilli shook her head. "Don't make me regret this."

She could almost hear his smile through the phone. "You won't, babe. I promise."

Once Lilli realized she'd be driving to Ismaning, she almost called him to say she'd changed her mind before rationalizing that 30 minutes or so wasn't that bad of a drive. After following the areas to the designated area for visitor parking, Lilli wandered up to the front desk.

"Hi." She waited for the attendant to acknowledge her, something which took longer than she'd have liked. "I'm looking for Leon Goretzka."

The attendant gave her a sardonic smirk. "You and about a dozen other girls." She straightened up and then went in to what seemed like a well rehearsed discourse. "We do not comment on whether or not someone is a patient at this hospital."

"It's just-" Lilli held up a finger and stoped herself. "Sorry, give me a minute, please."

Stepping away, she pulled out her phone and called him.

"Babe!"

Lilli cleared her throat. "First, not your babe. Second, I'm here but they won't let me up so…do with that what you want."

"Ok, Lilli." There was humor in his voice even though he had been chastised. "Would you be willing to wait a couple minutes while I send someone down?"

She let out a sigh as she tilted her head back, eyes toward the ceiling. "Yeah, I'll wait."

Within moments, a nurse appeared. "Lilli? Come with me."

Lilli glanced back at the attendant, resisting the urge to smile I told you so.

They walked silently down the corridor to an elevator and waited. The nurse broke the silence. "I'll be changing his bandage, It will be good for you to watch so you can help him at home."

Lilli decided not to correct the nurse, not feeling like explaining anything of their situation. As soon as she saw him laying in the hospital bed with his knee bandaged and propped up, she was hit with pangs of sympathy. She wanted to make him scoot over so she could just lie down and cuddle him.

Leon beamed a smile at her and gestured towards a nearby chair. "Thank you."

The nurse disappeared but soon returned with a cart containing a tray and a few different sealed packets. She tapped under Leon's knee, encouraging him to lift it slightly. "This needs to be kept clean and dry for 72 hours post surgery. After that you can shower as normal but do not submerge your knee for at least two weeks."

The nurse began removing the compression bandage followed by the layers of gauze. She pointed to the row of six white, paper like pieces covering the incision. "Leave the Steri Strips in place, they're there instead of stitches to keep the wound closed. Put the clean four by fours, these gauze squares, back over top and replace the bandage."

Leon watched the nurse, but he kept one eye on Lilli, who was also watching intently. Once the nurse had left, Leon turned back to Lilli. "Um, they said I could go home soon. I thought we could go back to my place and order some dinner, maybe watch a movie?"

"I think we can do that." Lilli's expression was unreadable but Leon could tell she was keeping her guard up.

Eventually, the nurse came back with an orderly who was pushing a wheelchair. "Alright, you've been cleared to go home. Hermann here will take you down to the lobby."

"Should I go bring my car to the loop?" Lilli spoke up now, her caretaker tendencies taking over.

Once Hermann parked the wheelchair and handed Leon his crutches, Lilli hovered right behind, opening the passenger side door and taking his crutches before closing it once he was settled. Leon put his address into the maps app on her phone and Lilli laughed to herself once she realized they lived relatively close to each other. He directed her to his guest parking spot and again, Lilli hopped out first, opening the door and handing him his crutches. She walked next to him, matching his pace, until he stopped at a door.

Leon unlocked the door and pushed it open. "So, this is home-ish."

"Ish?" Lilli took a few steps in and looked around. It was an obviously modern build with an almost entirely open floor plan and stark white walls. Her mind immediately went to work on what she would change before she cut off that train of thought.

Leon shrugged. "It's home in Munich but I still consider Bochum to be home. So, yeah. There's the sofa and tv and the kitchen. The bathrooms and bedrooms are down that hallway."

"It's nice." Lilli smiled, unable to think of something else to say.

He gave a little nod, an understanding that she still wasn't convinced she was making the right decision. "What kind of movies do you like?"

"Definitely nothing romantic." She scrunched her mouth into a frown. "And no blockbuster action movies either."

Leon laughed as moved to the sofa. "That's a start at least. Here, you choose."

Lilli joined him on the sofa, leaving a respectable distance between them, and started scrolling through the different streaming apps before landing on Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin.

Leon would glance over at Lilli periodically and smile at the look of confused skepticism.

"Well, that was…" Leon hesitated, trying to find the words he wanted to describe the movie they just watched.

"Go ahead and say it," Lilli laughed at herself. "It was awful. Sorry I chose it."

He shrugged. "I mean, it wasn't that bad. But you could always redeem yourself."

"How so?" She raised an eyebrow, allowing herself to be just a little flirtatious.

"We can order some food and then watch something else." Leon offered a hopeful smile as he shifted himself to a more comfortable position.

They ordered from Bombay Tandoori and hoped that A Quiet Place Part II would be a better film choice.

Lilli actually allowed herself to stretch out a bit as she yawned. "I think I might slip into a food coma. That's the best chicken tikka masala I've ever had."

"Yeah, you did good kid." Leon glanced back over to her and smiled. "D'you wanna stay tonight?"

As soon as he said it, he realized it was the wrong thing to say.

Lilli stood and folded her arms across her chest. "I still don't want to have sex with you."

"No, I know, you've been really clear about that." He shifted, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "That's not what I was implying."

She scoffed. "Right. So you'd like me to believe that there was no one else available to help you and that is the only reason you asked me here."

"Look, I'm not going to pretend that I'm not interested in having a relationship with you, but I didn't try to trick you into coming here." Leon held his eyes closed for a few seconds longer than a blink. "I wanted to be around you, not somebody else."

Lilli covered her face with her hands and shrugged before letting her hands fall to her sides.

Leon gave her a minute before he started again. "Can we give this a try?"

"Before I give you an answer," Lilli sat back down and let her knee rest against his uninjured one. "Do you understand why I'm upset?"

He gave a slight nod. "I was using you for sex. I mean, I didn't think it was worth my time to get to know you but I've realized that I was wrong about that and I want to fix it."

"Ok," She made sure that her body language wasn't coming off as defensive as she currently felt. "How do we do that?"

“Will you let me take you out on a date?” Leon bit his bottom lip and Lilli had to look away. “Like dinner and a movie? Or a club if that’s more your thing.”

Lilli put her eyes back on Leon. “Can I think about it?”

He initially hesitated which caused Lilli to raise an eyebrow. “I mean, yeah of course-”

“But?”

“No ‘but’, I was just…I would prefer it that…if you’ve already made up your mind-”

Lilli nodded. “I haven’t. If I knew that I didn’t want to, I would say so. I need you to understand that it’s going to take me a little while to fully trust you.”

This time he smiled. “That’s really helpful, Lil.”

Leon stood and gingerly made his way to the entryway. It was almost like a crossroads of sorts, go straight to the door and leave or turn right and stay in his guest room. He was also fully aware that if Lilli chose to leave he probably would not get another chance with her. “But in all seriousness, it’s late and you are welcome to stay in my spare bedroom.”

After a moment's pause, Lilli nodded. Leon got her settled in the guest room and gave her an old shirt of his to sleep in. After she pulled the shirt over her head, Lilli brought the neck of the shirt up to her face and breathed in the faint scent of his laundry detergent mingling with his cologne. Of course she'd offer to wash and return but she was secretly hoping he'd tell her to keep it. The bed was comfortable enough, but she found herself starring at the ceiling, her mind unwilling to shut itself off.

The softest of knocks rousing him from his sleep, Leon sat up slightly and grunted. "Hmm?"

In the dark, he could just make out the outline of Lilli in the doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Instinctively, Leon moved over so that there was room on the bed next to him. After he did it, he realized what it probably looked like to Lilli but much to his relief, she sat down.

"When you said that I'm not the type of girl you take home to meet your parents, it struck a nerve."

"Lilli," Leon propped himself up on his elbow.

"No," She turned towards him and rested her hand on his cheek. "It's ok, just let me finish. I haven't had that type of relationship. I've never stayed with anyone long enough to meet their parents and it made me start to think that maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe there is something wrong with me."

Leon sat up and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. Resting his head against hers, he inhaled deeply. "There's nothing wrong with you. I said that because I thought you were just interested in me because I'm…I need to be careful about who I let into my life and there was the thought in the back of my mind that you were only interested in me because of my public profile."

"That's the last thing that interests me about you." Lilli closed her eyes. Letting her head rest against his shoulder, she was already starting to feel the tension leave her body.

Moving himself over slightly, he leaned over and brought their bodies down to the mattress. Leon sighed, gently running his fingers along her side. "I regret not doing this."

"Doing what?" Lilli's voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and already heavy with sleep.

"Just staying with you after we had sex. I shouldn't have left." He kissed her forehead, draping his arm over her hip. "I'm sorry I didn't stay."

#leon goretzka #the inevitable end #football fanfiction #football fanfic

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dehya-selei · 1 year

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Most of the time I don’t think much of my feelings. But i’ve come to process or in the process of processing a difficult emotion.

I realize the times in my life when i’m at the lowest point, it hurts me the most when I hide everything from those closest to me.

If I had to describe what growing up with a narc mother had taught me sums it up in this analogy: i think of myself at my lowest point like a deer shot in the leg. and what i’m the most afraid of isn’t the hunter. it’s limping in front of my own family. those closest to me would scrutinize me for getting shot or for limping or both. not only that, i would be most afraid of the emotional onslaught of dealing with my family and their verbal abuse. so i limp myself into a cave where no one can see me. this is the pain i’ve dealt with in the past with depression and anxiety. i hid from my family because they would only add to my pain. and it was more painful knowing that in my lowest point, i would have no where to go and feel safe but the people closest to me would be the most threatening. i was never really able to describe this feeling to my friends because it’s been so hard to vocalize. i don’t mean to dwell in the past, it’s just sometimes i feel these emotions, and need to be left alone. when i’m at my lowest point, it really hurts knowing that i have a hard time relying on anyone. it was the hardest living with family and being forced to hide when i was breaking down inside. it was hard forcing myself to smile and hide the depression and how it was negatively impacting my life at work and having to pretend that everything was okay. not only did i have to deal with the depression alone, but i had to use up my remaining energy preventing my family from causing emotional abuse to me by putting on a front. But not living with them anymore, has healed me to some extent.

every now in then on a blue moon, i remember these feelings. i put them down somewhere, one day these feelings won’t be true anymore. i don’t really seek out a past that never existed, nor can i change what has happened growing up with abusive and unloving people. i don’t have the energy to create what i’ve always wanted to ceaselessly chase after relationships to fill some sort of void. but so far life has taught me that i want to be self-reliant. i feel like there’s no one i can really rely on but myself. i know it’s not the best way to think, but i guess it’s a crutch i have that keeps me going i guess so i use it.

when my feelings start to drip into some semblance of despair, i try to snap out of it because it’s too unpleasant. it’s like stepping into quicksand, stand too long and you’ll sink into a black hole that’ll never end so i always have one foot on the edge. sometimes i allow myself to feel wondering if i stay numb too long it’ll have some bad future implications. but sometimes it feels good to feel something and wallow for a little bit. but i always know that, it does no practical good in wallowing for longer than a couple minutes. having that experience with depression, i am so much more aware that my state of mind and how much unconscious thoughts and feelings to grow at any one given moment, can lead to prominent changes that become knots that are so difficult to undo.

but i know now that the only thing i can really do to combat those feelings is to immediately get out of bed and start working on something. wether it’s learning a new skill or just working on my portfolio. it kind of tricks my brain into thinking i can actually do something about whatever problem i’m having (even though the solution does quite match the problem in the realm of feelings or emotions), but my brain doesn’t know that. but i’m happy that i don’t have to wallow very long in things that don’t help me. and grateful for the energy to work and to allow myself to grow into something better, hopefully by taking small steps to change things for the better. progress is all that really matters to me at this point.

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woodedsilence · 6 years

Text

Repeat Rambling

Last month had me changing up my personal plans at the last minute. July has me doing the same!

I’m curious why these things are happening, especially since I had fully decided to be done with all of this. If you recall in my earlier post, I had decided a slow paced Summer of relaxing, sorting & organizing my life was what I was going to do this year. But, visitors decided to come up. I had just unwound from all of that & decided to reclaim what little bit of Summer there was left to at least try to partly achieve my goals. When an hour later, almost on the dot, another call, another visit, another week of not doing what I wanted to do with my Summer. I had just brought up a bunch of boxes to sort through into my dining room when the phone rang!

I think because I am attempting for once to be selfish in my life with my time, I’m having trouble grasping the lesson to be learned here. Maybe the lesson is to put my foot down and refuse to be treated like this. Except they aren’t really treating me like anything. They just haven’t seen us in awhile and want to stop by on their way through town.

So maybe there is a lesson I am to learn with an entirely different situation altogether. Last night I opened up to someone about a deep struggle I’ve been having. I felt totally lost in my thoughts and needed someone, anyone to talk to. The only thing with me is, I only have 2 somebodies in my life. I felt desperate like a mouse trapped in a corner being stalked by three cats.

The subject, I knew, would be sensitive to this person and I tried wording things as gentle as I could because they have a tendency to not understand that I am not attacking or judging. I just have my own set of fears attached to this issue & honestly I have that right to be scared about it. Although many people will say it is selfish for me to have any problems because it isn’t me going through it, just my significant other. Like there are no valid emotions to be felt except pure unaltered support 100% of the time. I’m not allowed to feel anything here. Which, before I kind of agreed. But, now that I’m on the other side, everyone involved has the right to their emotions about it, sometimes even the negative ones. Life isn’t fair for anyone involved and it takes adjustments.

Anyway, I was only mid freakout when they decided to up and leave without telling me they had to go. They didn’t say hey, I will get back to you later or I know you’re going through something. But, I already had plans so I may not be able to get back to you right away not even a BRB. They just stopped reading and left. I thought they were waiting for me to get my freakout done then they would read and get back to me. I waited almost an hour for a response when I saw they posted about going out to dinner! They were probably being seated at the restaurant by the time I realized they were ignoring me altogether not waiting for me to get it all out.

The pathetic thing is, that’s just how they are with me and I honestly have no idea why I thought it would be any different this time. Why do I keep doing this with them? There was something different this time however. Instead of feeling like they let me down, I realized I was only letting myself down by continuing to want them in my life. I did a card pull for myself, something simple to get a better guided mind set.

It confirmed everything that was swirling through my head. I’m hoping my ability to realize how dependent I had been on this person to be a person they could never be is a sign I might actually be ready to move on and away from it all. My cards were: Past: 2 of Pentacle {R}: Plans will not run smoothly. Present: 7 of Wands {R}: Plumb your own depth & feel the strength within Future: The world: Now you’re free to go into any direction

So maybe being able to be insistent that I am not okay with one situation has helped me find the strength I needed to walk away from another situation altogether?

It’s only a shot in the dark at this point as I have no one to talk to and confirm my thought process here. I am my own best judgement however. So, maybe?

Well, you know me and my inability to end blog posts better. So, until next time.

-Wooded Silence

#Tarot #Witchery

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talesfromgringolandia · 2 years

Text

A Trip and a Half - Ch.1

"Ready?" Kana asked.

"Ready," I replied.

"3..." she says.

"2..." I continue.

"1..."

"GO!" We both scream.

I grind the bike petal under my foot, causing myself to hurtle forward, neck and neck with my opponent. We spedd down the street, weaving in and out of the cars, narrowly avoiding passerby who gasp and drop their groceries as we blur past.

We come upon an empty stretch of road. I switch to a higher gear, and begin pumping my legs harder. My thighs are burning, but I can't lose this race. Not after what I saw Kana do just that afternoon.

I glance over at her. She's not even looking at the road - her eyes are on me, a malicious smirk on her face. She doesn't even seem to be trying to keep up with me. I grimace and look back at the road. So she's on the varsity biking team - I'm still not losing this race.

The empty stretch ends, and I switch back to a lower gear to be able to weave among the cars. Every second requires a split second decision. There's a narrow gap ahead, do I lose a second to turn and avoid the risk or keep going and hope I can make it through? There's a person, do I swerve and lose some speed or do I keep going and hope they sidestep first?

I hear laughter, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her red bike pulling ahead. Oh no you don't. Time for another risk - despite the heavy traffic, I switch to a higher gear.

I'm not going to lose this race.

Slowly, I begin to catch up. A quick glance informs me that Kana's smug grin has vanished, replaced by the same intense concentration on my own face. Good. I'm making her try at least.

In the distance, I can see the end of the traffic. I risk a glance to see the road name - Legacy Lane. The finish line. Almost there.

I switch my bike to the highest gear and let out a growl of effort as I begin pushing myself to the limit for the final sprint. I can feel my bike trembling beneath me, every pebble embedded in the asphalt producing a noticeable shift in my trajectory. I can only hope there are no passerby in the way - at this speed, neither I nor them will be able to react in time.

Only about twenty meters left. I grit my teeth against the pain and push harder. I am vaguely aware of Kana beside me doing the same

The line of cars ends. Ten meters left.

Directly in front of me, there's movement. A black cat, leisurely crossing the street. At this speed, there's no time to think. I lightly turn my handle to the right, trying to be subtle enough to not destroy my momentum.

Too fast. My bike pitches forward, and I'm sent flying over the feline. The asphalt flies up to meet me, and I roll end over end before finally coming to a stop, scrapes and bruises covering my body.

I hear laughter. Kana returns from the finish line and bikes a circle around me. "Nice biking there, hot shot!" she hollers before biking off.

I sigh and let me head rest on the asphalt, eyes closed. I should probably move before the red light ends.

When I look up again, the cat is sitting near my head, gazing curiously. It wears a red collar around its neck.

"You really are bad luck," I say.

It mews in response.

A shadow falls over my face. Squinting through the sun in my eyes, I can see only the outstretched hand offered to me. I take it, and as it pulls me to my feet, I come face to face with a very interesting man. His eyes are completely obscured behind reflective glasses, and he's wearing a red cloak. Not a sweater. A cloak - below the shoulders, it extends into a cape which flows in the wind.

As the stranger lets go of my hand, I realize he left something there. A gem or medallion of some sort - its a shiny blue square with a symbol on the front.

"Adam," the man says, causing me to look up in surprise. "Come with me." He turns and walks off.

"Hang on, who are you?" I yell. "How do you know my name? What's this..." I look down at the medallion again. "coin thingy?"

When I look back up, I barely see him vanish into an alleyway on the side of the road.

"Who the hell was that?" I murmur to myself.

A car horn shocks me out of my reverie. I realize the lights have turned green, and I'm holding up traffic. I quickly grab my bike. Luckily, the wheels work enough that I can walk it off the road. But as I get to the edge, I can tell its completely wrecked. its never taking me on a midnight ride or a high speed chase again.

As I turn my bike homewards, I sigh with regret. A broken bike, scars all over, and not a thing to show for it. Kana had beaten me, thanks to that stupid cat.

Well, almost nothing to show for it. I glance down at the strange coin the stranger had left me. What a weird encounter. Who would just give a random biker a coin like this?

"Mew."

I turn around to see the black cat. Its sitting by the dark alleyway, tail swishing impatiently.

"What?" I ask. "You want me to follow a cosplayer into a dark alleyway?"

"Mrrm- Ah!" The cat replies.

I look back down at the medallion. It beckons like a challenge. I really don't want to go home right now. I'd have to explain where I got my bruises from, and then I'd get chewed out for going racing on the street again. Not to mention, Kana is probably waiting there to collect on her bet.

You know what they say about following strangers into unknown places?

The alleyway is darker than I expected it to be. The black cat walks ahead of me, and quickly vanishes into the dark. The shadows of the buildings on either side completely obscure the area. It takes my eyes a while to adjust, and every time I glance back I'm blinded again by the bright light from the street. Every object seems to flicker in the dark. I step lightly, not certain how far in the stranger went. I keep thinking, Alright, if I don't see him by the time I pass that dumpster, or window or whatever. Then I get there, and glance down at the medallion. Somehow, I can always see it perfectly in the dark. It fills me with resolve, and I step forward again, getting farther and farther away from the light.

I see a light through the dark. A dull, red glow, that as I get closer, becomes more defined. Its the glow of a neon sign reading Demon King. As I approach, the windowless metal doors slide open soundlessly.

"Well that's not ominous at all," I mutter.

There are no lights on inside. I step up to the threshold and hesitate. Feeling the steely presence of the blue medallion in my grip, I take a deep breath and step inside.

The door shuts behind me, and icy panic freezes my stomach. Then lights flicker on - expensive looking lights that are merely lines inlaid in the ceiling, meeting in the center at a circle of the same kind of light. The circle envelopes a hole in the ceiling, which allows the tree in the center of the room to grow higher than the room itself. Around the tree is a circular table with chairs around it, and for each chair there is a device on the table. They look like gaming consoles, but there's no disk slot, or power button, or any of the specifics that I tend to associate with a gaming console - only a square slot on the top. The cat is waiting by the nearest table, tail curled neatly around its paws.

Slowly, I walk around the tree. Each slot is empty, except for the one opposite the door - it has a medallion that looks similar to mine except for two things - its color is purple, instead of blue. And there's no symbol on the front. This medallion is blank.

I hold up the blue medallion. It looks like it would fit perfectly into the slot on the consoles. What strikes me the most is the fact that there aren't any screens - what kind of consoles don't have some kind of monitor to display the output to?

"Mrrm-ah!" The black cat mewls.

I look down at him.

"Well, whats the worst that could happen. I'm already here, right?"

I move to place the the medallion in the console. The first indication that something is wrong - besides being in a mysterious building in an alleyway, that is - is when I feel the medallion being pulled towards the console. It's still like a foot away when it slips out of my hand and flies into the console of its own accord.

The coin glows brightly. The light consumes my vision, and the room around me vanishes. The next thing I feel is the sting of snow.

#working title #i wrote this a while ago #figured i might as well post it #writing #amwriting #this is based off of a LoL video btw #i don't play LoL #but i like their youtube videos

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Good Little Helper

Pairing: Season 5! Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader gets assigned to be Spencer’s personal assistant of sorts after he gets shot in the knee. Category: SMUT(18+) Content Warnings: fingering (female receiving), blowjob, praise kink, dirty talk, blink and you’ll miss it cumplay Word Count: 4.7k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: So, remember yesterday when I posted about how I wished new ideas would stop distracting me from everything I’m currently working on? Yeah. This wouldn’t leave me alone, and I couldn’t work on anything until I got it out of my head, so here! Have a fic! (It was supposed to be a blurb, but I got a little long-winded so now it’s too long to be a blurb oops 😙✌) Also, I apologize for any editing mistakes, I just wrote this out in one go, so hopefully it’s alright!

***

Being assigned to assist Dr. Reid with practically his every need after he was shot in the knee wasn't exactly how I expected to spend the past few months.

And that's, like... a huge understatement.

In fact, when Agent Hotchner came up to me in the break room and said he'd like me to do the job, I dropped my coffee and shattered a mug. I could tell he was a little impatient with me, even through his kind reassurances that it was quite all right as he helped me clean it up and waited for an answer.

In the end I'd said yes to the job, though the more I thought about it the more I wondered how much lust and naivete had clouded my judgement when I did.

Because there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to survive weeks, possibly months, as Spencer Reid's assistant. Not only because he was intimidatingly intelligent and there was almost nothing I could offer him in decent conversation, but also—and more prominently—the fact that I was pretty sure I was in love with him.

Maybe that was a stretch. I definitely had a stupid major crush on him that felt more like we were in middle school, but I could barely look at him without going warm all over. In fact, I think we had only ever made eye contact once and I averted my gaze immediately, afraid I'd give myself away. If I'd have held it any longer, I was positive I'd have burst into flames.

He'd tried talking to me once, a few months after I started working at the Bureau, and it was only to ask if I'd send some files over to their tech analyst, Penelope Garcia, but when I tried answering, I stumbled over my words and ended up only getting out a squeaked, "Uh huh," before taking the files from him and scurrying off.

I almost cried that day.

Basically every time I was in his presence, I was a total wreck. Even more so than I was on any other given day.

Being his assistant did get fairly easy pretty early on, though. I mostly just stayed out of his way while he worked, and if he need anything that he could've gotten himself if not for the injury, it was my job to get it for him. I worked on my own paperwork most of the time, and he was always busy working on geographical profiles and whatever else, we only ever really had to talk when he asked for something. And that only required a, "Sure," on my end, so I could just get up, get what he needed, and then go back to work.

Still, it didn't help that sometimes I'd get distracted.

He was very distracting.

I usually waited until I was sure he was so busy in work that I wouldn't get caught. And that's when I'd peek over my computer or hide behind a book and stare at him. I know that sounds creepier than it is, but if you had to spend almost every hour of the day with him, you'd have done the same. Even though for months he was put on rest from the field, he always showed up looking more like a college professor than an FBI agent. Which, I suppose suited him more anyway. Regardless, it was a damn fine look. His hair was decently long and extremely pretty, and when he got the cane?

I was a goner.

It was at that point, though, when I started to realize that he probably wouldn't need my help anymore. He'd been allowed back into the filed by then, and even when I went with them on cases it still felt like I was more out of place than usual. Sure, I'd picked up on some minor skills that aided in profiling and otherwise, but at the end of the day I was still only a desk clerk. Sooner or later, I knew there would be a time where Agent Hotchner would inevitably tell me that I'd done a good job and could return to my menial day job.

So, even though Dr. Reid and I had gotten into a pretty regular, non-awkward rhythm, I was being a little more squirrely than usual.

And of course, he noticed.

"Y/N, are you doing alright?" he asked, looking up from his stack of paperwork. That was another thing we'd ended up doing— late into the night after everyone had gone home, we stayed late in the conference room and quietly filled out paperwork.

I barely looked him in the eye when I answered. "O—Oh, mhm. I'm fine."

"Oh... You just seem... a little different today."

On any other day I would have freaked out on the inside like a teenager, excited that he'd noticed me at all enough to notice a difference in my behavior. But that was his job after all.

"Actually, you seem rather... sad."

I did look up at him this time, and the soft glow of the table lamp lit up his features— features that looked me over with concern. I could feel my face grow warmer with every second I looked at him, until I quickly looked back down at my paper and shook my head.

"N—No, I'm okay. Promise. Just a little tired, that's all."

Usually he would have left it at that, given we didn't ever really have longer conversations than that that didn't pertain to whatever case the BAU was working on. But he pushed further, and I swallowed.

"Are you sure? Because... You can tell me if there's something wrong. I'm a good listener..."

Did I dare tell him what was really plaguing me? That I was scared I wasn't going to be able to spend time with him every day, thus most likely giving away my crush? That is, if he hadn't already figured it out by this point... Truthfully it wouldn't have surprised me.

The thought made me go warm again, and still, I kept my head down.

"I'm sure..."

And then I did something I probably shouldn't have. I looked back up at him, just a quick glance, but under his intense gaze I crumbled, flitting my eyes back down and playing with my hands.

"Is it... because of me?"

Afraid suddenly that I'd made him feel bad, I straightened a little. "No! No, not at all I... Um... I—I guess I'm just... A little sad that I'm probably... not going to be of any help to you anymore. You know, now that you're healing up."

A small smile flashed over his face, and I inwardly melted.

"Oh... In that case I... I guess I'm sad, too."

"Really?" I asked softly, my heart jumping.

"Mhm," he answered back in earnest. His features were softer than they'd ever been, eyes wide and kind, smile inviting... "You've been a great help. And you're fun to be around."

I couldn't help but smile shyly at his confession, completely bewildered that he'd think of me as someone he'd enjoyed being around, though I'd offered just about nothing interesting to any conversation we'd had. "Y—You don't mean that..."

"I do."

"C'mon, really? I... I—mean... coming from you that's... that's too generous."

He laughed a little. "How do you mean?"

"I... Well, y—you're you... I mean, you're... smart, and nice, and cu— uh,... n—nice..." I stumbled hard on that last one, squeezing my eyes shut at the thought of almost calling him cute to his face... And then I realized I'd called him nice two times... in a row.

I hadn't even realized he'd gotten up and walked over to me until I felt his cane gently tap my leg. I jumped, looking up at him and almost crumbled again right then and there. He stood over me, tall and clearly amused, and I wanted to just curl up and hide where no one would ever find me.

I also didn't want to be craning my neck so far up to see him, so I stood up, sending my chair rolling back a foot or two. The added height was better, but he was still fiarly taller than me, and with the way were standing so close to each other?

Maybe I'd made a mistake...

"I—I'm sorry," I stammered.

Still amused, Spencer tilted his head a small amount. "What for?"

"I... I don't know, m—making this awkward?"

"It's not awkward."

"It... It's not?"

He shook his head, quiet for a few beats before he nearly whispered. "What were you going to say?"

I paused. "I... What?"

"Before... You said I was smart. And nice... And... What else?"

It sounded like he was trying to get me to confess something, and quite honestly I couldn't tell if it was for humiliation or amusement or clarification purposes. I mean, it was probably safe to assume he wouldn't go out of his way to humiliate me, but... it still made me nervous.

"I—I didn't... I..."

"Y/N... Tell me?"

I'd been cornered. Quite literally, too, as my lower back hit the edge of the table. My hands shook anxiously at my sides as I contemplated what to say. The truth? Embarrassing for me. A lie? I was no good at telling lies, and I'd still end up embarrassed, because he'd be able to tell.

So, after a very long silence in which he waited on me to answer, I blurted out, as quietly as possible, "Cute."

The word sounded juvenile coming from my mouth. Right now, standing under Dr. Reid's intense scrutiny, it didn't even feel like the right word to describe him. Not that it wasn't true... But it just wasn't an elegant enough descriptor for him.

And that alone probably proved just how different we were. How out of my league he was...

"That's what I thought you were going to say," he mused, slightly breaking me out of my self-deprecation.

I would have asked him something then, anything to keep myself from looking like even more of a fool with a childish schoolgirl crush, but all words escaped me entirely. All I could do was look up at him, slowly growing warm under the intensity of his eyes and praying he wouldn't think of me as silly.

Though, it wouldn't have mattered, because he kept talking anyway, his body taking up even more space around me as his arms came around to well and truly trap me against the table.

"You're right, you know... I'm almost completely healed, and pretty soon I think I won't need an assistant anymore."

I was scared that maybe I was wrong before, and he'd actually humiliate me now, though the look in his eyes suggested otherwise. I wasn't sure what to make of all of it. SO I just stood there, trying to breath steadily as Spencer studied my face.

"And I meant it... That makes me sad. You know why?"

I shook my head, afraid to make a sound.

His head dipped lower, close enough that I could feel his breath on my mouth as he spoke. "I probably won't get to see you every day."

"Y—you want to see me?" I couldn't help but ask.

He scanned my eyes, amusement and something else lingering there as he did. "Yes."

And then he kissed me.

It was a short distance, but it felt like we went far. And I hadn't even registered that I whimpered into his mouth until he returned it with a low groan that boiled my insides and absolutely melted me. I was helpless against him as he pressed himself further against me and used his hands to keep my back steady.

The whole time my mind was swimming with dizziness. It felt like my body was covered in butterflies from head to toe, particularly strong where his hands pressed into me and his cane rested firmly along the inside of my thigh.

I leaned forward when he pulled away, because I was afraid that he was saying goodbye. But one of his hands came up to my face and my eyes fluttered open, immediately taking notice of how messy his hair was now that I'd had my fingers in it.

I must have looked scared, because suddenly his eyes changed, and he removed his hands away from me altogether, putting distance in between us. "I—I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you without asking..."

The relief that rushed through my body must have gotten to my head, because I breathed out a demand I'd never have had the courage to get out before.

"Do it again."

One second I was staring at him, admittedly afraid that he'd regretted all of it, and the next I was seeing stars as he came forward and kissed me again. His hands cradled my face as he did so, coming on to me with gentle care while still maintaining that hunger that surprised and excited me.

I hadn't realized how much I missed his touch until he'd given it back to me, my body once again melting into him and allowing him to do whatever it is that pleased him.

Apparently that was lifting my leg off the ground and making me sit on the table.

My body went along with it easily, and I was glad for it because my brain was nothing but mush, unable to process fully how he'd decided that I was worth kissing. All I really knew was that I wanted him. Anything he wanted from me, I was willing to give. And that must have come across very clearly, because when he pulled away and spoke to me, I whimpered at his words.

"Y/N... You've been such a good girl, helping me with whatever I needed these past few months..." Meanwhile his hand danced along the hem of my skirt, the tiny brushes of his skin against mine sending me into a mess of shivers.

"I think it's about time I've thanked you for all your help, don't you think?"

The implications in his tone made me whine again, and I pressed my forehead into his, our noses brushing as I answered. "Please."

I was so taken by the way he groaned as his lips connected with mine once more that I almost didn't realize that his hand was now fully up my skirt, his fingers drawing gentle lines over my panties and practically making me melt again. His hungry kisses contradicted the softness he took to my clothed cunt, a fact that warmed me to my core and made me want him more than ever.

When he slipped the fabric aside and ran the pad of his finger through me, I whined hard against his mouth, something that must have excited him— He nipped at my bottom lip and took a deep breath.

"How long have you wanted this, Princess?"

If not for the kissing and the finger slowly sliding up through my arousal, the nickname would have done me in. By now I was an utter wreck, but I somehow still managed to answer, even through a little stammering. "F—Forever."

It was the best I could come up with.

He breathed a laugh as his finger circled my clit. "That's a long time..."

"Uh huh," was all I could manage in response. My body and my brain were too focused on the things his finger was doing to my body, involuntarily rolling my hips forward for more. I needed more.

Thankfully he picked up on my urgency and reciprocated with slipping his middle finger inside me, one knuckle, then two...

I cried out as my head lurched forward, connecting our mouths once again. My hands clutched around his neck and my fingers tugged at his hair to keep myself from falling, because the slow, searing pace at which he fingered me made me wonder how I'd still been able to breathe.

He added another finger soon enough, picking up the pace and rendering me practically useless in his embrace. Meanwhile I registered the sound of his own little whines, still deeper than mine but little enough to tip me off that he was enjoying this just as much as I was, and that alone helped get me further along in pleasure.

I pulled my mouth from his reluctantly, squeezing my eyes shut as I allowed my forehead to rest against his. "D—Doctor, I'm c... I'm so close."

"His honorific falling breathlessly from my mouth seemed to do something sinister to him, because his fingers sped up and his breathing got heavier.

"Yeah? You gonna come for me, Princess?"

My stomach tightened and I nodded as best as I could, relishing in the sounds coming from below us, wet and downright filthy.

"Go ahead...Be a good girl and come for me... You deserve it..."

Each little sentence was punctuated with a slightly faster pace, each one bringing me closer and closer until I squeaked into his mouth and shook violently around his fingers, my vision going white. My legs had been open wide since he'd started teasing under my skirt, but now they threatened to clamp shut from the intensity. But I wanted nothing more than to be good for him, to make this as easy as possible, so I held out and kept them open as wide as I could stand as my orgasm rocked through me.

Spencer whispered praises into my skin as his hand slowed and his mouth trailed down to my neck. And even though it was more than nice feeling him lick and bite over my skin, I felt rather sad when he removed his fingers from me.

That sadness didn't last long though, not when he pulled back and studied me for a moment, eyes lust-blown and purely ravenous before he brought his glistening fingers up to my mouth.

I didn't even have to think. I brought my tongue out and let him slip his fingers over it, closing my mouth around them and sighing as I sucked them clean. This only seemed to excite him more, his features displaying all sorts of desperation until he couldn't take it anymore.

He kissed me again, bringing both his hands to rest at my waist. And with his hands so low I wondered if maybe he'd take to ridding himself of his own pants, but it never happened. Rather, he pulled away after minutes of more kissing, and sighed quite sadly as his upper body pressed firmly into mine.

Something else pressed firmly against me as well—right along the inside of my thigh—and I gasped, mind running wild through all the possible outcomes of the night.

But Spencer only stood there, occasionally nudging his nose against mine while his hands gently kneaded my sides.

"D—Do you want to stop?" I asked softly, afraid he'd regret what we did.

He proved me wrong. "God, no... It's... It's just that I'm still not cleared enough for any... strenuous activity on my leg, and I don't..."

I didn't want to push him, obviously, but I thought I could make the mood a little lighter. "O—Oh, well on the bright side... I could stay your assistant for a while longer."

The laugh that rumbled in his throat made me smile, though from the way he stood there, I knew he wouldn't risk it.

"Um... Raincheck?" he whispered.

On the one hand, that meant he definitely wanted to see me again, and I was more than happy with that. But also, that meant our fun for the night was done...

Yet... Maybe not...

"Sure," I answered, pecking his lips once more. Then I brought my hand to his chest and slid it down until I reached his belt, and I leaned back to look him in the eye, a boldness I never imagined coming from me in a million years.

"But I can still help you..."

I watched the desperation and disappointment in his features slowly dissolve into a newfound hunger—and an amusement—that grew my confidence tenfold.

"Oh?" Spencer mused. "How do you suppose you can help me this time?"

He wanted me to say it. So, without second guessing myself anymore, I grazed my finger over his erection. "I'm very good with my mouth, Dr. Reid."

He grabbed me by the hand then, dragging me along to the chair I'd kicked back before and sat himself down, one of his hands still gripping the cane. Matched with the desire in his eyes and the swollenness of his lips and the tousled strands of his hair, the sight was truly something to behold. It was something that only ever existed in my dreams, nd now it was real.

Not wanting to waste any time, I sunk to my knees and nestled myself in between his legs. He reached out and caressed my cheek before lifting my chin with his middle finger.

"You like being my good little helper?" he drawled.

I tried to nod, but he clicked his tongue and held my chin in place. "Words, Princess."

"Yes. I—I'd do anything you asked. Anything you want, it's yours..."

He hummed then, removing his hand from my face and moving to undo his belt swiftly with only one hand. The action, the sound, everything... it was enough to make me wet again, and I subtly ground down onto the heel of my foot as I watched him pull himself free from the confines of his pants.

I didn't have time to marvel at him before I was drawn forward like a magnet, my hands crawling up his legs and my eyes batting up at him, ready and eager to please him however he wanted.

"Eager, are we?" he mused once more, gently stroking himself with his hand.

"Yes, Doctor," I breathed, inching closer and kissing the outside of his hand.

His movement stopped then, and it didn't take longer than a second for him to decide to let me work on my own.

"Then have at it, Princess..."

I started by kissing my way up the length of him, taking my time to gauge his reactions as I did so, occasionally darting my tongue out to taste him. Once I reached the tip, I sucked on it gently, using my tongue to swirl around it until I could taste the saltiness of his precum.

And then I started taking him slowly into my mouth, watching above me as Spencer's eyes started to shut, obviously debating whether or not to lay back and enjoy this or watch me intently.

Either way, I was more than happy to keep it up, finally getting him to the back of my throat. I flexed my tongue and held him there as long as I could, promptly gagging over him and blinking tears from my eyes as he let out a loudest sound I'd heard from him yet. His head flew back and his tongue quivered along his bottom lip as he cursed my name.

The act made me proud, so I retreated for air, sucked at his tip again for a few seconds, and then repeated it, taking him down my throat again and watching through teary eyes as he visibly swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so... Such a good fucking girl..."

The praise caused my insides to burn hot, and I ground down onto my heel again, lifting my mouth to start bobbing up and down.

His eyes opened then, and he looked down at me, using his hand to brush stray hair from my face and the other to grip onto his cane for dear life. I looked up at him the whole time, making sure to convey through not only my actions but also my eyes that I loved this. I thrived off of his praise, I enjoyed the feel of his dick gliding over my tongue and hitting the back of my throat, and I longed to feel him coat the inside of my mouth with his release.

I was so entirely into him in every capacity, it wasn't even funny.

I was so glad he could tell, a smile grazing his features as his hand gently gripped some of my hair. "So eager to please, Princess... And so fucking good at delivering..."

I whined onto his dick as he held me down, rendering me immobile. The only thing I could do was look up at him and choke, and of course, I was more than happy to do it. In turn, I was met with a deep groan and a tug of the hair.

"Hold it, hold it... Atta girl..."

My cunt throbbed at his words, and my throat continued to burn, tears falling down my face at ten-speed until finally, he let up and pulled me off of him.

I coughed a little and blinked away tears as I caught my breath, Spencer's fingers combing hair from my face as he smiled proudly.

He didn't even need to say anything then. I wanted to give him more. So I leaned down again and took him in my mouth, quickly making work of his tip while my hand came up and stroked the rest of him.

"Fuck, Princess, just like that... Make me come just like that..."

Rather than just continuing, I offered him a high whine and a wide gaze, hoping to exceed expectations.

I guess it worked, because he came right then, his dick pulsing over my tongue and in my hand as his warm release shot down my throat and over my tongue. I hummed around him, fluttering my eyes closed at the taste and the feeling, probably enjoying the fact that I'd done this to him more than I should have.

It was worth it to see the look on his face, though, after he'd given me all he had and I purposely spit some of it out onto the tip of his dick so I could lick it up and give him just a little more stimulation after the fact. His mouth hung open, eyes heavy and unwilling to leave me, even as I finished and sat back to wipe the tears and saliva from my face with a satisfied smile.

Though, the longer he looked at me, the more shy I became. Funny when I'd just had his dick down my throat, but I'd never been good with people staring at me for long periods of time.

"Was that... Was that okay?" I asked, suddenly worried I hadn't done something to his standards. "I know I don't do this a lot, so I'm sorry if it wasn't that g—"

"Y/N..."

I blinked up at him, still on my knees and unwilling to move. Not that I wanted to, but I couldn't even if I had.

"That was fucking perfect... I meant it, you're... so good."

I knew he was capable of better words, but after having the life sucked out of you, I could imagine 'better words' were hard to come by. Still, I laughed a little, playing with the hem of my skirt. "Good. I'm... glad I could help."

He smiled at me, readjusting his pants and then moving to help me off the ground.

"Hey, uh... Even when you go back to your regular job after I get better, I... I hope you know you're always welcome to come visit me if we're not busy."

The words warmed me in a different way, my heart swelling as well. "You... You mean that?"

Spencer nodded, grabbing my hand and dragging his thumb over my wrist. "Of course. I mean, you're more than just a good helper, you know. You're also kind, and smart, and cute..."

I laughed at his emphasis on cute, heat warming my face. "Ha-ha..."

"I really mean it, though," he said softly, removing his hand from mind and bringing it up to lift my chin, so I'd meet his eyes. They were swimming with sincerity, the epitome of warmth and comfort and kindness— the kind that always drew me to him in the first place. "And... If you'd want to maybe ditch the paperwork one day and grab a coffee or something, maybe—"

"Yes," I interrupted without thinking. My heartbeat picked up upon seeing the look in his eyes when I agreed, a mixture of amusement and relief. "Y—Yes, I'd love to."

"Good. Then it's a date?"

"Definitely."

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spectaclespencer · 3 years

Text

P.H. // Part 3; Need To Know

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N; Chapter 3!! Yay! I will not lie I got kind of lazy and burnt out when I finally got to the smut scene, and for that I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys with a future chapter.

Summary; Reader can’t get her mind off of Spencer, which causes distractions at work. Until one day when he catches on.

Category; Smut (Minors DNI!!!)

Content Warnings; Swearing, Kissing, Mentions of masturbation, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Drinking, Mentions of being shot, Kinda Sub!Spencer, Virgin!Spencer (but not by the end of it)

Word Count; 7.2k

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‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

Spencer Reid. The object of my attraction, the man I fell harder for with every stolen glance I could manage to throw his way. I was obsessed, and that infatuation only grew stronger every day that I saw him at work.

When we went out to bars after cases we ended up in an inevitable game of Never Have I Ever like a bunch of high school kids. With Emily and Derek in the group it almost always turned sexual. It started with innocent things such as; Never have I ever kicked down a door -- to which Derek drinks. There were some targeted jabs, I got Spencer a few times when I brought up an activity I was certain he had done -- just to keep him involved.

However he never drank past that. He never took a sip when Emily made a sexual innuendo, or when she brought up one night stands, number of partners, most bizarre location to engage in intercourse. Nothing of the sort got him to break. I figured he was a private guy, never one to boast about his sexual experiences.

It was frustrating, to say the least. It got to the point where I couldn’t think about anyone but him. I couldn’t engage in any sexual activity without my mind shifting to him, the way he might slip his fingers in and out of me, or how skilled he was with his mouth instead of the person I dragged home. No other person could even begin to compare to the remedy I concocted in my mind. I didn’t have any information to base my fantasies on, either.

I had it bad. So bad, that at one point I spilled hot coffee all over myself in the breakroom over the littlest interaction.

Spencer came in just after me, mumbling a small hello before reaching to grab a mug for himself. In the process of doing so his shirt rode up, exposing a small expanse of his lower stomach that had me sputtering as I clumsily missed my cup and instead poured the coffee all over the counter. It ran down and soaked through my pants; yet it wasn’t nearly as hot as the way I felt on the inside.

I couldn’t help but wonder the noises he’d make if I were to suck dark purple marks across that plain of skin...or if anyone ever had before.

The small burn was a fine price to pay for my inappropriate thoughts.

Him being the sweet guy that he is, offered to help me clean up. This proposal ended up with him taking paper towels and patting down my thighs -- not realizing just how suggestive the action looked to me.

“Sorry,” He whispered, looking up at my face from his position below me. He was kneeling on one knee, with a hand planted firmly on the outside of my thigh. His voice was soft yet raspy, and oh how I let my mind wander.

“Not your fault,” I said quickly, and borderline ran out the door before he could protest or add anything on.

I headed straight to the bathroom to wash my face, try and stop the effect he had on me from becoming too physical.

If I got that worked up over a small piece of skin showing, nothing could have prepared me for the first night we shared a hotel room.

I was in shambles all night, ever since the moment Hotch handed me a room card and explained we needed to double up.

Emily usually roomed with JJ, Hotch and Rossi got their own, and Derek refuses to bunk with Spencer -- if he could avoid it. Much to my luck, this time he did because Garcia was needed for this case, meaning she and Derek would be sharing.

Leaving me with Spencer.

I stood there helpless, eyes burning a hole into the place that Hotch was previously standing. I was panicking on the inside, my body going into fight or flight mode as I went through scenarios in my head.

I was 99% sure I would be embarrassing myself tonight.

“Hey,” Spencer said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and shrieked a little bit, and slapped a hand over my heart. “Oh my god, Reid. You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.”

He nodded, eventually realizing that he was still indeed touching my shoulder. He dropped his arm, only to bring his hand back up to rub over his chin.

My eyes darted down to it, watching at the way his veins stood out. It wasn’t the first time I admired them, there were moments when he was going over maps with two fingers where I wondered what they would feel like on my-

“____?”

“What?” I asked, a little too loud for the setting.

“Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry.”

“I said we should go inside,” he laughed softly, trying to sooth the tension.

I agreed, stepping past him to start walking to our room. I opened the door with trembling hands, wondering just how hard the following nights at the hotel would be.

“I’m gonna go see Emily and JJ. Ask if they wanna go to the bar,” I said quickly, throwing my bag down just inside the door.

“Oh. Okay. Have fun! Don’t stay out too late. You should get a full night’s sleep.”

“I won’t be long. Don’t wait up!” I called, not looking back to see him before half jogging out of the room.

-----

“I cannot go back in there.”

“Oh, because of your little crush,” Emily laughed, much too loud for the early hours of the morning.

Clearly Spencer’s advice about coming back early didn’t plant itself in my head.

“Yes, because of that,” I confirmed. I was staring down at my drink, wallowing in self pity. It was too awkward to even step foot in there, I’m sure just by the sight of him I’d explode.

“What is it about him that gets you hot and heavy?” JJ teased. “No shame, just curious.”

I fake laughed, ignoring her question.

Everything he did was so intoxicating. Even the most mundane things got my blood pumping hard. Each time he let a small gasp through his lips or when he would whisper to himself, a shockwave went through me, igniting a fire deep inside that was near impossible to put out.

But he was so oblivious. He hadn’t a single idea of the effect he had on me. And that was the most frustrating part.

The first time I noticed my extreme attraction to him was shortly after I joined the team, it was only the third or fourth case I’d had with them. Spencer and I walked to a coffee shop to grab some for everyone, and on the way back he was infodumping.

About what, I can’t remember, for I was too fixated on the way his hands wrapped around his cup as he talked. He’d wave it around, and in doing so his fingers would trace little patterns onto the outside of it. I didn't mean to stare, I just got distracted.

I started noticing more little things after that.

Like the way he licked his lips while deep in thought, his mind consuming him to the point where he looked so concentrated and determined. It was hot, to put it simply. I wanted nothing more for him to be licking my lips, to feel him take such care with my body.

He had always been attractive in my eyes, the young boy was nothing but pretty. Even when his hair was shorter and he gelled it back, pairing the look with his glasses -- that he unfortunately wore less often nowadays.

It was nearly painful to be around him all day every day. My head would constantly be spinning with anxiety, only causing more and more headaches to present themselves. It was like a punishment, one I certainly deserved for the tasteful thoughts I had during work hours.

My crush went from an innocent little thing, to full fledged fascination.

‘I just been fantasizin' (size)

And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

Avoiding him as much as I could seemed like a decent plan at the time. If I kept my interactions low, I could distract myself with other things, and not focus on the way his lips pursed as I conversed with him. I raced up more time staring at his mouth rather than completing actual work by my six month stay at the BAU.

“I’m so fucked,” I nodded, coming to a bit of peace with my downfall.

“Well, you could be. If you told him how you feel,” JJ encouraged.

“No way in hell,” I protested, shooting my head up to make eye contact with her.

“____, there is a very, very high chance he feels the same. And if he doesn’t -- which he does -- he’s too sweet to let that impact your friendship.”

“We hardly even have a friendship. Whenever he tries to talk to me I end up running away. He probably thinks I hate him or something. He probably wants nothing to do with me.”

No objection from Emily or JJ there.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Emily asked, changing the pace of the conversation.

“He never speaks to me again. I die of embarrassment.”

“You’re both adults, ____.”

“We are 27!” I shook my head, exasperated. “I hardly even feel like one sometimes.”

“27, exactly. I’m sure by now Reid has gained some experience with talking to women. You’ll be fine.”

“I have absolutely no way of knowing how things will go.”

“Just give him little tests,” JJ suggested. “Like touch him. On the shoulders, compliment him more, really go up to him and make a move. That way if he doesn’t feel the same you can play it off as being platonic.”

I groaned and rested my head on the table dramatically. “You both kinda suck at advice. What am I supposed to do? Waltz into our shared room and confess my love for him? Ask him desperately to dick me down?”

Even though I definitely wanted to.

They laughed at that, saying they were going to bed and wished me luck. Emily advised I should try and ‘get some’ from somebody else, and maybe that would take my mind off of things.

After stalling some more I eventually made my way back to the hotel room, hoping that Spencer was already asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him. But once again, luck wasn’t in my favour.

“Hi,” he spoke softly from his bed.

“Why are you still awake?” I asked, trying my best to stifle a yawn. I threw my sweater down on my bed, before grabbing my go-bag and retrieving my pyjamas from it. “It’s almost one in the morning.”

“I wanted to make sure you got back okay.”

“I told you not to wait up. Naughty boy,” I joked, finally turning my attention fully over to him.

Which could've been a mistake, based on the way you saw it.

He was dressed in flannel pants and a black t-shirt, along with his hair tied up that I’d failed to notice earlier. I froze at the sight, seeing the way his cheeks were dusted a slight red, and lips pink as ever.

His hair was tied up, and I almost dropped dead at the sight. I’d never seen it before. Sure, he sometimes wore an elastic band on his wrist during the work days but never have I seen him actually use one.

“I’m gonna shower and then head to bed,” I said in an effort to keep my voice steady.

He didn’t respond, only turning his head back to the book that was in his hand.

Thankfully when I returned he was asleep, meaning I didn’t have to see him before bed.

The next day was torturous. I couldn’t get the image of him out of my head. The view of him so relaxed on his bed was ethereal, the soft glow of the lamp hand illuminated his skin in all the right places. Did he pull his hair back often? Did he casually sit at home with it up? How did he look in different angles or positions? Are there other things he wears or does that I haven’t seen?

The image was just so domestic that I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to.

I was afraid to fall asleep, in fear that my dream may turn adventurous. Quitting my job and moving to a new city seems more preferable than having a sex dream about your coworker while they were in the room.

I was hyper aware of every move he made, always keeping tabs on him in the back of my mind so we wouldn’t accidentally run into each other.

Apparently when I was paying attention on how not to see him, I failed to notice how he had filled out recently. He wore looser pants in the past, ones that didn’t allow much shape to show through.

The next day at the precinct I was in for a surprise though, one that was sure to make me fall to my knees.

And I would have, if it wasn’t for the fact I was already seated in a chair.

Spencer walked in clad in pants that were far too tight to be appropriate for work. Or maybe I was overreacting.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath, soaking in his appearance of the day.

It was hot outside, so he decided not to wear his usual vest and tie combo, choosing instead just a white pattern button up and grey tie.

I heard Emily snicker beside me, which earned her a light kick in the calf to shut her up. She got up then, winking at me dramatically before leaving the room to presumably go check in with Derek.

“Hey ____, can you come here for a sec?”

I got up without a word, and walked over to the other side of the room where he was standing at the map hung up.

He went off about the unsub’s possible comfort zone -- things that I’d need him to repeat later because I wasn’t fully listening,

I stayed leaning against the table, just two feet behind him which gave me a perfect view of just how tight those pants really were. They hugged his hips deliciously, I wanted nothing more than to rip them off in that moment. I nodded along dumbly, changing my sight from his ass to his back, to his toned arms that were shown off from him rolling up his sleeves.

It was a fair sight, I don’t really think I could be blamed for staring.

A few weeks after that he got a haircut. His longer curls were gone -- yet not forgotten -- and were replaced with a mop of messy waves that framed his face perfectly.

It was like a new blow to my stomach every time I got used to the change.

“New haircut?” I asked the obvious on the first day back from a long weekend.

“Yeah...thought I should change it up,” Spencer replied, picking up his coffee mug to make himself a cup.

I nodded, the room settling in a short silence.

“Do you not like it?”

“No!” I exclaimed, Spencer furrowing his brows in response. “I mean, yes. I do like it. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay,” he laughed. “Thank you.”

“You could pull off any hairstyle, trust me,” I said, before walking back to my desk.

People that we met seemed to feel the same, because he got stopped more often at bars and at shops that were needed to visit. People would give him their numbers, leaving him a blushing mess. It got obnoxious, to the point where I was at my breaking point. My shoulders were always slumped, and my forehead creased with jealousy.

I stayed closer to him when the team went out, in an effort to get other girls to stop making moves on him.

They hadn’t noticed his beauty before, why should they get the privilege to advance on him now?

It was selfish, really. It may have been good for his self-confidence, but not so good for my own feelings.

I made sure to compliment him more often, telling him I liked his sweater vests, and ‘oh my Doctor Reid, is that a new tie?’ It was a win-win really, for both of us. I was building up my comfort level with him, and he knew that I did not, in fact, despise him.

When Spencer got shot on a case a few weeks later, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show him that I care about him.

It was an easy job, since the bullet only semi-grazed his shoulder blade. Only needed deep cleaning once a night, for a few weeks so it wouldn’t get infected.

“Fuck,” he breathed with a groan, one that sent shivers throughout my veins.

“Sorry,” I answered quickly, keeping my gaze on the task at hand and not on his face that was just so close to mine.

Here I was in Spencer’s apartment, in his bathroom, helping him clean off his wound.

“I’m sorry but you need to stop moving, it’s just making things worse,” I explained.

“It hurts!”

“I’m sure it does! But I can’t do an effective job in cleaning it if you keep thrashing around like that.”

I saw him pout, and lower his head. The gears in his brain were turning, trying to come up with a possible solution.

“You’re going to need to hold me down.”

“What?!”

“I’m not gonna be able to stop moving,” he said, looking over his shoulder to where I was sitting behind him on the floor. “Come on.”

He stood up and left the room, gesturing for me to follow. And I did, collecting the supplies I’d need as he led me over to his living room.

Before I could protest he removed his shirt fully -- not like how it was bunched up by his neck previously.

I stopped in my tracks, eyes taking in every inch of skin that he freed. He was lean, as I predicted, but still toned in areas.

Spencer laid on his stomach down on the couch, motioning for me to come beside him.

“Get on my back.”

“Are you insane?”

“____,” he pleaded, looking up at me. His arms were crossed by his head, he was using them as a makeshift pillow. “I just want this to be over as fast as it can be.”

Right.

“Okay,” I agreed, and began to place my materials down on the coffee table to my right. I then swung a leg over his lower back, straddling him just how I’d imagine doing so before -- only the other way around. “Is this okay?”

He hummed, digging his face as far into the fabric of the couch as he could.

‘I got a lotta new tricks for you, baby

Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will)’

I took that as a yes, and poured some of the disinfectant onto a swab. Bracing myself with a hand on his other shoulder to pin him down firmly he shivered, breath shaking ever so slightly. I tried to catch him off guard with the swab, choosing a random time to press it into his wound.

He was definitely surprised, because he whined loudly into his hands and clenched all of the muscles in his back.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he made similar noises during other activities…

“Just a minute more,” I soothed him, running my free hand over the smooth skin of his back, doing my best to calm him down.

His breathing only became heavier, and was nearly shaking from the burn. I felt bad, having to see him go through this but I’d be lying if it wasn’t doing things to me. I couldn’t help but get a little bit excited when I got the chance to be near him, to be closer than we had ever been before.

It was intense, I was almost sure he could feel my arousal through the fabric of my pants and underwear.

I was an awful person.

Going home that night to sleep was a struggle. I felt guilty, for using his pain for my perverse temptations. Yet as soon as my fingers were buried inside myself I couldn’t stop myself from imagining him above me. The way he might sound, spewing out similar noises that I’d experienced earlier that were still fresh in my brain.

I wasn’t proud of it, and I thought every one of our interactions after that would be even harder.

Going back to work seemed fully impossible, I didn’t have any hope in myself to stay useful while he was parading around, completely oblivious to the effect he had on me. I became more sexually frustrated every day. It was nearly infuriating to see a look of innocence plastered on his face, meanwhile he would do things that made me go crazy.

‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

“Penelope, I think I might die soon if I don’t get laid,” I said, rapidly opening the door to her cave.

“____-”

“No, I’m serious. I can’t get my mind off of-”

I stopped in my tracks, finally noticing the presence I hadn’t already accounted for.

Spencer sat in a chair to my left, just out of view that you couldn’t see him if you didn’t turn your head. He was in the middle of bringing a chip up to his mouth, but was stopped mid-air with his mouth hanging open.

“Sorry,” he said, scrambling up fast, bumping into things as he collected his satchel with shaky hands. “Sorry I’ll go.”

The door shut with a slam, and left Penelope and I in silence.

“Well, fuck,” I whispered, earning a booming laugh from her. “It’s not funny.”

“It is funny. It’s hilarious,” she giggled, doing a little spin on her chair.

I groaned, and sat down beside her on the edge of her desk.

“Maybe now he’ll make a move on you.”

“Oh shut up,” I slapped her arm, beginning to laugh along with her. “If he was avoiding me before, I’m sure he’ll never speak to me again.”

Ever since I helped Spencer with his injury the first time he’d been semi ignoring me, not trying to actively partake in conversation. We only talked when necessary, but didn’t exchange any extra words when I came over for an hour to help him with his wound.

I was almost happy about that, it meant I didn’t have to embarrassingly throw myself at him all day long.

I was perfectly fine admiring him from a distance, just how I’d done so for years.

However, there was a part of me that was rightfully sad. Did I cross a line, or make him feel uncomfortable? Maybe from spending so much time together recently he gathered I really wasn’t that interesting.

“Don’t say that,” Penelope frowned.

“Why not? It’s the truth,” I shrugged.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“How I feel?”

“Don’t even try and wedge your way out of it. Emily told me, don’t be mad,” she said, with the sweetest look on her face that I couldn’t be upset.

“Bitch,” I playfully mumbled.

“Besides you literally were about to say that you can’t get your mind off of him.”

“Uh, no, I was not. I was going to say someone. A general someone. Not Reid.”

She hummed, turning back to her screen to finish up some work Hotch had sent her to do.

“Okay fine. Pen, I’m gonna die. It’s insufferable. I can’t handle it anymore.”

“That’s exactly why you should tell him!” She encouraged excitedly, always a swooner for young love.

“I would scare him. He’s probably scared of me, actually.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure his little virgin heart can take it.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly giving her all my attention. “Virgin? Is he seriously a virgin?”

“I don’t know, truly. I just kinda figured. He doesn’t talk about anyone or anything to do with sex.”

I nodded. That makes sense. With him radiating pure sex appeal in my eyes, the thought never even crossed my mind that he might be a virgin.

But that just made it all the more exciting.

“But hey, if he’s really a 27 year old virgin I’m sure he’s extremely horny,” she laughed.

“We are at work. Let’s calm it down before I actually combust,” I shook my head.

My palms were sweating at the very thought of him doing anything remotely sexual -- which I thought about a lot. Surely he’s had to at least...taken care of himself. I’m sure it was a gorgeous sight, his hand wrapped firmly around his dick and face contorted in nothing but pleasure.

My thoughts were interrupted by none other than the man himself, who barged into the room to say we were taking off for a case in 30.

The flight there was quiet and boring, we left at night so there wasn’t so much we could do when we got there besides head up to our hotel.

“We’re sharing a room,” Spencer said, walking over to me from where he was previously with Derek.

I was standing in front of the vending machine, doing my very best to not eavesdrop on the mens’ conversation, which was only taking place about 20 feet away. Spencer was speaking in a hushed yet agitated tone, and Derek was matching his energy. It seemed they were bickering, but about what I didn’t know.

“Says who?” I panicked.

“Uhh...Hotch did.”

Great.

“Oh. Alright,” I followed him down the hallway, our room was the last one at the end.

I waited for him to open the door, and when he stepped out of the way to let me inside I brushed past him.

When I turned around Spencer was standing there blocking my path, causing me to bump into his chest.

“Hello...” I said confused, taking a step back.

“I…”

“What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. “Spencer what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer with words, instead reaching up to push a piece of hair out of my face. My breath hitched at the contact, sending me into a short frenzy on the inside. He was inching closer, now his body was getting just close enough so that I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was glancing back and forth between my eyes, searching my face for an expression of discomfort.

He didn’t find any.

“I was talking with Derek. About you,” he whispered. “He said you’ve been coming on to me.”

My heart nearly missed a beat at his words.

“I've noticed your odd behaviour, you don’t act the way you do with anyone else on the team. You run away from me, and at first I thought you just didn’t like me, but now...I think it’s the opposite. I see the way you look at me, you know.”

“And how do I look at you?” I questioned nervously.

“Like you want me. Tell me. Who were you talking about earlier today? Who exactly can’t get your mind off of?”

I paused, eyes almost bulging out of my head at the implication.

“If I'm reading this wrong, let me know. We can pretend this never happened.”

“Get on the bed and take your clothes off.”

He did just that, moving beside me to shove his pants down his legs, followed by ripping off his shirt, as I did the same. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other, too busy drinking in our appearances to think straight. He sat down on the edge of the bed in just his underwear, and spread his legs just wide enough to give me space to stand between them.

“Tell me what you want.” he breathed, watching me as I walked towards him.

“You,” I answered simply, climbing into his lap and connecting my mouth was his. “All of you.”

He didn’t protest, only doing quite the opposite. He moaned greedily into my mouth, sucking every last bit of life out of me. He was hungry in his movements, not allowing for a single beat of fresh air for either of us. I was more than happy to return the energy, for I’ve dreamt for too long about what he might taste like. And it wasn’t disappointing, the sensation was far better than I could have ever cooked up in my head.

After a minute he became impatient, and started bucking his hips up to meet mine. I did the same, grinding down on his hardening dick that felt...impressive to say the least.

“I’ve thought about you for so long,” I spoke against his lips, taking a break between kisses.

He groaned back at me, moving his hands from my cheeks down to my hips to hold me flush against himself. He whimpered when I was fully against him, he had to break away to keep his breathing somewhat managed.

“Please, I need you so bad. I’ve thought about you too.”

“What exactly did you think about?” I asked quietly, trailing kisses all across his face, and then started heading down his jaw and neck.

“L-lots of stuff.”

“Tell me,” I demanded, looking up at him from my new position kneeling on the floor. “Please, tell me.”

I brought a hand up to his boxers, ghosting just over his bulge while remaining eye contact.

“Everything. All of you. ____, Please.”

‘You're exciting, boy, come find me

Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"’

“Let me do something first,” I said, pushing against his stomach to encourage him to lie back on the bed. He did so, propping himself up on his forearms to look down at me.

He watched my every move, not a second was missed by his eyes that stayed locked onto my form. I dropped my head down to kiss across his left thigh, and toyed with the waistband of his underwear with my right hand.

He was so vocal, and I hadn’t even done anything yet. I knew we had all night, but I’d waited too long for this to take my time.

‘And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

I pulled his underwear down just enough to reveal his dick hard and red as it stood up against his stomach.

“You don’t...have to,” Spencer stopped me before I could carry on.

“Do you not want me to?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just…” He stopped, and bit his lip while staring off to one of the walls.

“Has anyone ever done this with you before?” I asked, almost unsure of whether or not I wanted the answer.

“Done what...exactly?” he asked, refusing to look back at me. His cheeks were red in embarrassment, and he was too focused on the distance to see the wave of excitement that flashed over my face.

“Spencer,” I said sharply, prompting him to turn his attention back to me. “Are you a virgin?”

His lack of answer told me enough. He blushed impossibly deeper, and started squirming in place. Just as he was about to speak up for himself I stopped him with, “That’s so fucking hot.”

“What?”

I climbed back up his body, just far enough so that I could grab his jaw in my hand and pull him down to meet my lips. It was even more hungry and passionate than the previous ones we shared, full of such fire I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to kiss anyone else ever again.

“You’re so sexy,” I moaned, hot and needy into his mouth.

He was good, which wasn’t unexpected from my end. His lips were always so plump and pink, they just had to be semi skilled.

“Thank you,” he replied, in a typical Spencer Reid fashion.

“Do you want to stop? Or keep going? Take a minute and think about it. I don’t want to pressure you,” I reassured him, but on the inside I was begging for him to want to continue.

He pulled back for a second, running a hand over the back of my head to keep me from going too far. His eyes were closed, focusing only on his breathing as he thought about his answer.

“I want to keep going. Please,” he decided on, nodding his head. “I just, I dunno, didn’t expect to get this far tonight.”

“Believe me, neither did I,” I smirked, smashing my lips back against his and returning to my spot kneeling between his legs. I pushed him back harder than before, sending a small oof sound from his chest as his back hit the mattress.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I asked, finally wrapping my hand around his dick,

It only made sense that a pretty boy like him would have a pretty cock, too.

“O-only once,” he breathed, with his head thrown back. He was staring at the ceiling, staring at the dots to distract himself from the feeling and to not come too soon. “Long time ago.”

“If you need me to stop, tell me,” I said, before licking a broad strip up the underside of his dick.

I paused at the head, swirling my tongue around before continuing my mission back down around the other side. I kissed his base, leaving more near his hips. He whined positively -- probably feeling a little ticklish -- and I took that as a good sign to suck a deep purple mark there.

Just like I’d thought about doing months ago.

I left a few more just up to his belly button, marking him up with the intent to claim him as my own. He’d see those marks for the next few days, and every time he would think of me on my knees for him. I kept pumping him in my hand as I did so, and every time I groaned into his skin his dick twitched with appreciation.

“Oh god,” Spencer moaned as I took him into my mouth unexpectedly, bunching up the sheets in his hands beside his hips.

I looked up to see him now staring down at me, jaw slacked and panting heavily. The sight was enough to elicit a moan from my own mouth, which led to him fluttering his eyes shut at the vibrations that shot through his body.

“Stop, stop!”

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, immediately pulling up.

“Nothing, I just really want to feel you and I don’t think I can last much longer.”

Understandable.

I wasn’t expecting him to last long anyways, I just simply wanted him inside me.

“Do you happen to have a condom?” He shook his head. “I’m clean and on the pill. We should be fine. Is that okay?”

He mumbled an ‘uh huh’ as he watched me stand up, as I pushed my underwear down my legs. He immediately reached out to me, bringing me back in and starting placing kisses across my stomach and hips, mirroring what I was doing to him earlier.

“Good, because if you don’t fuck me right now I think I might die.”

‘Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)

Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)’

He laughed lightheartedly, fixing himself to be sitting up near the headboard. In the process he kicked off his boxers fully, along with his socks.

I followed after him, not letting him stray too far from my reach.

“I heard that women take longer to, erm, get ready,” he muttered into my skin, hiding his face in my neck. “Let me help you?”

“Please,” I whimpered, though I knew I was far from unprepared. I reached behind myself to unclasp my bra, and as soon as it fell down my shoulders Spencer attached his mouth to my left nipple. “Please touch me.”

He moaned into me, bringing his hand down to my core to run his fingers through my folds. He let his middle breach me, moving so agonizingly slow before curling his finger up. I moaned loudly, letting my eyes shut and body fall slack against him. His free arm wrapped around my waist, giving me the support I needed to stay upright.

“So that’s your g-spot?” He grinned against my skin, and I’d be damned to admit it affected me way more than it should have. He sounded so innocent, so eager to learn.

“Uh-huh.”

He explored my skin greedily, brushing over every inch of my chest he could reach. His thrusts became faster every time he re-entered me, encouraged by the grunt that fell from my lips with each one.

“Have you ever done this with a girl before?”

“No,” he replied, moving from my breasts to my collarbone, leaving a dark purple mark in his path.

“Could've fooled me,” I felt him smile against my neck at the praise -- duly noted.

He flipped us over swiftly -- much to my surprise -- and continued with his actions on both my clit and entrance. I did my best to stay quiet, biting down on his shoulder to prevent any noises from leaking out to stop him from getting too cocky.

“Spencer,” I moaned, raking my fingernails up and down his back. “Stop. Please fuck me now, I’m ready.”

“Are you sure you want to? We can stop,” he reassured me in a voice that seemed far too innocent for the activities taking place.

“Spencer, I’m sure. I’m so fucking sure you have no idea.”

I was so turned on I could cry, the pure want running through my veins was starting to send panic signals throughout my whole body. Before I could beg him any further he replaced his fingers with his dick, catching me off guard. He ran the tip over me for a few seconds before gliding in easily, with little to no restriction at all.

“Ah!” I called, gripping onto his shoulder for dear life.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god did I hurt you?” Spencer asked frantically, removing his weight from me and tried sitting up.

“No. God please move, I need you so bad,” I pleaded, pulling him back down before he could get too far away.

He nodded. He started slow. So slowly that I wanted to scream and beg at the top of my lungs for more. However I was above giving him the satisfaction of that -- at least for now.

“You feel so good,” Spencer panted, hips shaking as he slid in and out at a torturous pace.

I pulled his lips back to mine for another kiss, drinking in everything he was willing to offer. I whined every time his body rubbed against my clit in a way that had my toes curling and eyes rolling back.

“This is so much better than I’ve imagined,” I moaned, breaking free from his mouth to lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around his waist, aiding him with the speed of his thrusts. “Please, Spence, oh my god go harder.”

He moaned loudly, and lowered his head to my collarbone in an effort to muffle some of the noises he was letting out.

He followed my directions well -- and I took notes for the future.

The sounds of him bouncing off the walls was amplifying my pleasure to a new degree, it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. His hips snapped forward impossibly faster, leaving him a whimpering mess above me. Our chests were pressed together, the sound of skin slapping and gliding over each other filled the dimly lit room.

“You’re doing so good for me,” I whispered into his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses here and there.

He moaned freely at all of the praise, and every time I urged him on he’d pick up his speed a little bit. He was now moving faster than I thought I could handle, slamming into me at the perfect angle.

I felt him everywhere. In my stomach, insides of my thighs, chest -- where he was now palming at one of my breasts -- and the crook of my neck. I hugged my arms around his middle to keep him locked against me, preventing his hips from heavily backing out.

“I’m really close,” He groaned, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “S-should I pull out now?”

“No,” I demanded, tightening my legs to keep him trapped. “Come inside me.”

He nodded with a particularly loud moan, and snaked one hand down my body to meet my clit. When I gave a sound of approval he quickened his wrist, rubbing me with just the right amount of pressure to send me closer to the edge.

He came with a final shout in my name, resting his full body weight against me as I rocked my him against him to help him through it. I finished soon after, at the feeling of him releasing himself in me. It was so warm, like a comforting blanket that overtook all of my senses.

It was possibly the best orgasm I’d ever had, it was so profound that I couldn’t see, or focus on anything else.

We laid there for a few minutes, my hand running through his hair and his ghosting up the side of my hip. It took a while for us both to catch our breaths, we were too immersed in the moment to break apart from one another.

“That was literally the best sex I’ve had in my life,” I breathed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Same, but I don’t have anything to compare it to,” Spencer replied, and we both laughed weakly.

“That was okay for you? Your first time? Not really the traditional approach.”

“It was perfect. I wouldn’t have asked for anything different,” he pulled himself up with a smile, before pulling out and flopping down beside me.

“But seriously,” I sat up, resting my head on my palm to get a better view of him. “I’ve never been so attracted to someone as I am with you.”

“____,” he blushed. “I-”

“No! No, let me finish. Please.”

He nodded for me to go ahead.

“Not only are you just insanely sweet and so charming, you’re so handsome. Like I can hardly even look at you half the time. You drive me insane, Spencer you have no idea. Holy fuck I’ve never wanted someone so bad before I met you. You’re intoxicating. I can’t get enough. I’ll cringe about this later but I just need you to know.”

“This may not be the most common way...but do you want to go out with me? L-like on a date?” Spencer asked. He was blushing so heavily, his chest was painted pink and ears were turned red.

“You just came inside of me and you’re nervous about asking me on a date.”

“____!” Spencer exclaimed, facepalming himself.

“Yes,” I grinned. “I’d love to go out with you.”

-----

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