#i remarked that magnolias grow flowers before leaves | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cynicalwonders · 5 years

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Glass Slippers

Revamping the entire fic after a year of hiatus. Thought I also post it up here on my tumblr as well. Currently re-writing ch.1. This is the prologue.

Modern Princess!Marinette

Original prompt by @lovelyblogtime

"Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā, Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā. Fēn fāng měi lì mǎn zhī yā, yòu xiāng yòu bái rén rén kuā – oh!"

Five-year-old Marinette smiled as she shoved her tiny, hand-picked bouquet into the woman’s face. “For you, grandma,” she chirped, waving the magnolias and pink chrysanthemums in her tiny fist. “Do you like it?”

Chuckling, the slender, fair-skinned woman smiled as she picked up her granddaughter and place her on her lap, shoving the guzheng to the side. “They’re beautiful my little, húdié,” she plucked one of the flowers and tucked it behind her ear. “Thank you.”

“That word means ‘butterfly’, right? That’s what mama says,” Marinette asked, plunking the strings of the guzheng and producing off-key notes.

“Correct. Húdié means ‘butterfly' because you are my beautiful, free-spirited little butterfly. Fluttering around the world, enchanting everyone with your beauty and grace,” her grandmother cooed.

Marinette laughed as her grandmother, Cheng Xi-Feng, pressed kisses onto her temple. Despite being in her mid-fifties, Xi-Feng possessed the beauty and grace of someone half her age. The elder woman fiddled with her granddaughter’s hair, removing her ivory comb to secure her braided bun. All the while, little Marinette was tracing the outline of the embroidered phoenixes along her sleeve.

“What are these birdies?” she asked.

“Those are phoenixes. Powerful birds made of flames that reborn themselves from their ashes,” Xi-Feng answered. “They represent the might of the empress. Although…I much prefer the all-mighty dragon as my creature.”

Marinette tilted her head as she examined the embroidered animal. Xi-Feng could tell her granddaughter was more interested in the image than its meaning but was eager to indulge her curiosity. Sad that she couldn’t have met Xi-Feng’s oldest and dearest friend. He was far more knowledgeable about such subjects. She had no doubt that Marinette would have adored him as she had herself.

“When will mommy and daddy come back from their trip outside?” asked Marinette, glancing up at her.

“Once Brother Wang finishes collecting all the ingredients he needs for tonight’s feast,” replied Xi-Feng. “Well, that and your mother and father were quite adamant about sampling the local delicacies in Beijing. Probably looking for something exotic to serve in their bakery back home.”

“Mooncakes!” Marinette suggested. “Ice cream mooncakes!”

Xi-Feng laughed. “Ice cream mooncakes sounds delicious right about now.”

On cue, several footsteps were heard running away from the pair, heading towards the western area of the land. Ice cream mooncakes would take a while to be made from the imperial kitchen so Xi-Feng suggested a walk in the garden in order to stretch their limbs. Hand in hand, the pair stepped outside the pavilion and into the jungle of freshly blooming flora.

The Pavilion of Ten Thousand Spring sat at the east of the Imperial Garden – a massive collection of plants both native and non-native to the region of China. Many of the original plants that were cultivated centuries ago encompassed the landscape. Others were gifts from allied nations used as tokens of appeasement and to place a piece of their country within its walls. Newly constructed rivers cut through the paths carrying multiple colored carps throughout the area. Xi-Feng kept a tight grip on Marinette's arm to prevent her from accidentally jumping to see the fishes.

“Careful,” Xi-Feng sternly warned. “You wouldn’t want to get that lovely daxiushan of yours getting wet.”

“I’m careful,” she pouted, grabbing a fistful of her skirt in her hands. “Let’s go see more of your garden!”

Marinette slipped out of her grandmother’s hand and ran down the center path. Xi-Feng shook her head in good nature as she calmly followed the tiny girl. She made a gesture towards her granddaughter and the guard stationed behind the pavilion ran out after her. How fortunate was she to have dozens of guards surrounding the perimeter? Made chasing after an energetic five-year-old much easier.

Up ahead, Marinette lost herself among the flowers and shrubbery. Her attention was captured by a particularly large jasmine shrub growing near an upright rock formation. With its sweet aroma, Marinette tried to climb into the patch, getting down to crawl inside. Unfortunately for the playful child, a large hand on her shoulder halted before she could start crawling

Looming over her, much taller than the jasmine shrub, was one of the men that continuously followed her grandmother. He glanced at her then up towards the jasmine and shook his head. "Non," he said and gently pulled her back out. Marinette sighed but didn’t argue. Her grandmother appears in the next moment and thanks in the man in Chinese before dismissing him.

“Was someone doing something naughty?” Xi-Feng gave a playful smile.

Marinette reciprocated that smile. “Maybe~” she replied back in a sing-song tone.

Xi-Feng wagged her finger at her. “Bad girl. Remember, one must always be respectful when in someone else’s home. Especially in the gardens.”

“I just wanted to see the flowers more closely,” Marinette explained as she pointed towards the jasmine bush.

“Even if the flowers are pretty, you can’t just go where you like. You have to ask first.” Xi-Feng took hold of her granddaughter’s hand. “You’re just like your mother when she was your age. You even went towards her jasmine patch.”

"Those are mommy's flowers?"

Xi-Feng nodded. “Your mother loves jasmine. Planted this bush herself when she was just a bit older than you.”

“Did you and mommy plant all these flowers, grandma?”

“No my húdié. Most of these plants have been here long before I was born," Xi-Feng answered. "Cultivated by the most talented gardeners and passed down through generations. Some are gifts, like the frangipani and the bottlebrushes, but most are from our ancestors.”

“What about you?” Marinette asked, gently pulling at her grandmother’s arm. “Did you plant something?”

"Yes, China roses. Would you like to see?"

Marinette squealed and rapidly nodded her head. She all but dragged her grandmother towards a random direction in search of the roses until Xi-Feng led her down the correct path. The Gate of Earthly Tranquility separated the garden from the palace of the same name as well as the rest of the city. Its stone and brick walkway overflowed with decorative shrubbery. Leading up to the stairs were two brightly colored pink shrubs that more resembled fireworks shooting outwards than normal plants.

Once Xi-Feng pointed them out, Marinette raced over towards them. The elder woman smiled as her granddaughter gently touch the flowers and smell them. So carefree, so innocent, turning back to her and motioned for her grandmother to join her. Moments like these made Xi-Feng forget the burden of her position.

Spending time with Marinette, swapping stories with Sabine and her husband, it gave her a sense of normalcy. As though she was just a normal mother and grandmother having her daughter’s family coming over to visit. But those illusions were quickly shattered by the appearance of a guard circling the area or a group of servants coming over with golden platters.

‘One must never forget who they are,’ Xi-Feng thought as she picked a chocolate mooncake from the tray. ‘Or what they possess.’

She glanced at her granddaughter happily eating her treat. ‘Best thing I can do is keep my distance from them. Make it easier for them to live without fear.’

After finishing their snacks, Xi-Feng sent the servants away while she was left along with her granddaughter among the plants. “You’re lucky that you have your own garden, grandma,” remarked Marinette. “All we have are the potted plants on the roof at our house.”

“Oh don’t be so upset. I’m sure those plants are just as lovely,” Xi-Feng replied.

“Nuh-uh! They’re really tiny and your flowers are so big!” Marinette threw her hands up in exclamation.

Xi-Feng giggled before leaning closer. "Do you want to know a secret? I used magic to make all the plants here grow bigger.”

“Really?” Marinette eyes grew wide.

“Oh yes. You see I had a friend,” she whispered. “He was a dragon!”

“A dragon…” Marinette looked at her in amazement. She glanced around and pointed at the bronze statue depicting the creature. “Like that one?”

“Oh no! You see, my dragon wasn’t big or angry-looking like that one. He was actually really, really tiny. No bigger than a mouse,” Xi-Feng used her thumb and pointing finger to give a height of a few inches. “He was red with glowing yellow eyes and horns all over his head.”

"He sounds scary…but he's really tiny?" Marinette pursed her lips in confusion. Obviously, she couldn't comprehend an often vicious-looking creature being so small.

“He was actually very kind and helpful. He was my best friend,” Xi-Feng gave a wistful smile but it faded away. “Sadly, he had to leave me a few years ago.”

“Why? Did he move away?” Marinette asked.

“In a way…” she answered before she composed herself. “But he helped with a lot of things. Like my garden. When I was your age, he would use his magic to make the flowers enormous! We would play and explore and he very good at playing hide and seek. He would always find me but I could never find him. The two of us would just play among the green for days on end.”

“He sounds nice. I wish I could have met him,” her granddaughter smiled.

“Yes, I wish you could have,” Xi-Feng agreed.

"Xi-Feng nǚhuáng," the two turned around to see a bowing attendant at the top of the steps, her eyes never leaving the ground, "Zhèngfǔ guānyuán yāoqiú nǐ chūxí."

"Hěn hǎo. Nǐ kěyǐ líkāi," replied Xi-Feng.

The attendant bowed again before returning towards the entrance doors of the palace. Rising up, Xi-Feng held out her hand towards her granddaughter. "It seems I've been called to yet another boring meeting.”

“Aww, but you just had a meeting this morning!” whined Marinette, stomping her feet. “You even missed papa’s famous pancakes!”

“I know, I know,” Xi-Feng rubbed her granddaughter’s shoulders in an attempt to placate her. “But you know I cannot miss these meetings. It’s part of my job.”

“But you never have enough time to spend with me and mom,” tears of frustration collected in the corners of the little girl’s eye.

“‘Mother and I,’” corrected Xi-Feng. “And you know there is nothing I want more than to see you every day and to spend all my time with you. But as long as I’m in China, I must fulfill my duties with the government.”

“Then come to Paris with me!” Marinette concluded. “If you have to do all that boring stuff when you’re in China then you can come live with me and mommy and papa in Paris! Our gardens are just as nice as yours.”

Xi-Feng, giving a weak smile, shook her head. “I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, my dear.”

“Why not?!” Marinette was getting more and more frustrated. “You have a plane. Can’t you just fly out?”

"My húdié, you don’t know how many times I’ve wished I could get on a plane, whether it be mine or commercial, to go visit you in Paris," began Xi-Feng.

"Then why don't you?" Marinette lips quivered.

"I wish I could explain it to you, my dear, truly I do," stated Xi-Feng, "But you’re too young to completely understand the gravity of the situation. I can't leave China freely. The government won't allow it. I'm too important to abandon my post. People will notice if I was gone. They’ll start searching and they’ll discover you and your mother."

"Why is that so bad?" Marinette didn’t understand why she couldn't tell people who her grandmother was. Sabine had forbidden her from ever speaking about her grandmother with other people.

"You can mention you have a grandma, but you can't tell anyone about her," her mother had told her, "Just tell them that she lives in China."

"Why are mom and me a secret?"

"Mom and I," corrected Xi-Feng, "And you'll understand when you're older."

"Why can't you tell me now?" mumbled Marinette.

Xi-Feng kissed Marinette on the top of her head before picking her up and carrying in her arms. "Marinette, we don't tell you these things to hurt you, we just want to protect you. I know it doesn't seem this way for now, but as you get older and wiser, you'll finally understand."

"…okay," Marinette replied dejectedly.

With her granddaughter in tow, Xi-Feng crossed the threshold into the gates, her servants and bodyguards not too far behind. "Don’t worry. One day, we’ll both be free of these burdens and we can visit each other freely. You’ll see.”

“When?”

“…soon, hopefully.”

"One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. Lift your chin! Back straight!" ordered the tight-faced older woman, dressed in all black. She used her cane to lightly tap underneath Marinette's chin upwards. "Good. Now repeat the steps."

“Yes, Lian lǎo shī,” replied Marinette, fixing her ballet slippers before returning to the starting position.

“From the top,” commanded Madame Lian before turning to the nearby musician holding a pipa lute. “Start.”

Just as the music flowed from the strings, everything was halted by three sharp raps at the door. Lian huffed indignantly allowing the visitor to enter. A young maid timidly entered the room, head down as she refused to look directly at the angry ballet instructor.

"Marinette gōngzhǔ," she squeaked, glancing up to meet Marinette’s eyes. "Her Imperial Highness has asked that you join her for dinner tonight. Shall I have the servants spread out your garments and dress you at 5?"

"Yes please," smiled Marinette. "And thank you, Ju."

“Will that be all?” questioned Lian, tapping her foot. Once the maid nodded, Lian shooed her out the door before turning back to Marinette. “Back to the lesson. Music, please.”

Sighing, Marinette complied and went through her routine, her instructor nitpicking her performance from start to finish. As a child, she envied the grace and poise of ballerinas, how they danced across a stage. So much so that she would mimic them from time to time. Same with the whole ‘princess walk' thing where she would place several books on her head and tried to walk across rooms without dropping them. But the actual practice was very boring and tedious. Or, in the case of ballet, painful. By the end of it, she would be soaking her feet in ice for a good hour or so.

And she considered these ‘fun’ lessons.

Long gone were the days where she and her grandmother would traverse the gardens of the palace. Now those days were replaced with lesson plans, multiple fittings, and traditional Chinese education. Etiquette lessons and ballet with Lian were a daily event, followed by literature, calligraphy, geography, Mandarin – though that was swiftly abandoned after about a year of awkward mispronunciations – music, sewing, and combat. That last one wasn't typically taught to females but her grandmother insisted on it.

She blamed the advisors who had pushed her grandmother into agreeing with all of this. They said it was beneficial for her, to ‘teach her what her mother, her mother's mother, and her ancestors have been taught for generations.' Even though she wasn't directly in line for the throne, they believed that she must take part in the duties of a noble lady. Marinette only hoped that those ‘duties’ didn’t end in an arranged marriage.

And thus her once excitable trips to China turned into a mixture of dread and isolation. Security had tightened during the years, confiding her to her palace when outside guests and diplomats visited. Though she did meet a few children of said diplomats, they didn't stick around much afterward and rarely kept in contact. Despite being surrounded by bodyguards and servants and teachers, Marinette became very lonely.

Even her cousins, Shen and Tingzhe, rarely got to see her due to all their schedules being meticulously managed down to the last second. It was understandable, one of them would end up the emperor after their father. But it was tough to even speak with them without first consulting their assistant and setting up an appointment. She really wished she was kidding about that.

But she pressed on, not wanting to seem ungrateful and tackled every lesson and teaching she was given. By the time she hit her teens, her knowledge of the country, culture, and customs went from mediocre to slightly above average. In Paris, she was just old clumsy Marinette – a normal girl living above her family's bakery with dreams of becoming a famous fashion designer. In China, Marinette became a ‘proper, traditional Chinese maiden' – elegant, polite, graceful and respectable, basically what the advisors wanted her to be. Not as well taught as previous princesses before her, but enough for the advisors to get off her back and put all their focus onto her cousins.

Which was fine with her!

Of course, she didn’t just drop all her classes the minute the advisors said they found her satisfactory. Marinette continued the ones she enjoyed, like ballet and music. Martial arts – the lesson her grandmother pushed on her – was by far her favorite. Xi-Feng insistent that her grandchildren learn how to defend themselves should the need arises. It was interesting, to say the least. Learning how to take down a man twice her size really got one’s blood pumping.

“Good, good,” Lian nodded as Marinette finished her routine. “Next time, turn at your ankle, not at your waist when you spin.”

“Yes, Lian lǎo shī,” replied Marinette almost robotically. Best to just listen to Lian and agree then try to complain. Marinette knew that well after years under her “Well,” Lian stomped her cane on the wooden floor – her signal for ending the class. “This concludes today's lesson. I'll be back tomorrow at 1 pm on the dot. I'll let the monks outside know you'll be coming to their lesson next. Try not to strain your legs when you're fighting or, gods forbid, break them."

Marinette bowed her head sheepishly. “Understood.”

Lian bowed before snapping her fingers and the musician followed her out the door. Marinette let out a sigh of relief and quickly changed into her blue robes. Four Shaolin monks were already standing in front of the gate. The eldest monk, her main instructor, stepped forward and bowed. She reciprocated it.

“Good evening, Marinette gōngzhǔ,” he greeted. “We’ll be going over the basics today. Nothing too strenuous. Do not want to bring upon the wrath of Lian on you.”

He chuckled a bit before leading the group towards the training grounds for her lesson.

And so the years went on: Xi-Feng always busy with business-related work, her cousins in deep study and the rest of her family separated in the large city the Chengs called home. By that time, Marinette fully started to understand who her grandmother was and what she did for China. The importance of her grandmother and her and her mother’s relations hit her like a ton of bricks.

What would happen if such knowledge was made public? What would become of her quiet and peaceful life back in Paris? How would people treat her if they knew? What sorts of changes will occur once the world knew? She speculated – and the results were never pleasant.

The best thing she could do was keep her mouth shut.

Her only hope is that by the time her identity was revealed – if it was revealed at all – she would have lived pass the time when it could have drastically impacted her life. By then it wouldn't have mattered as much as she would be further down from the line of secession. Sure she would probably have had to deal with noisy reporters, gossip blogs and possible fame-hungry ‘friends’, but that’ll die down after a while.

For now, Marinette was content with visiting her grandmother and keeping their relationship hidden. Better for everyone, especially for her. She didn't want the attention or the fame or the status of being a princess. Marinette was content with her simple, day-to-day life free of schedules, looming bodyguards, and possible marriage plans.

And for the time being, it was pretty easy to stay hidden. Cheng is a fairly common surname in China so it didn't raise any obvious flags. And since Sabine never made herself or her name public everyone assumed she was just a normal Chinese foreigner who immigrated to Paris as a young adult. No one ever imagines that the daughter of the empress would just walk away from her privileged life to marry a baker. No, that only happens in stories.

Besides, she had seen what a sheltered life had done for Adrien.

Yeah, she’ll pass on that.

Earlier this month, Xi-Feng publicly announced that she would be stepping down within the next two years. Her son, Jianguo, will be crown emperor of China. Public focus would soon turn on them as they begin their reign. Good thing for Marinette since she would be ‘out of the running' – so to speak – for the throne and forgotten. Unless both her uncle and cousins were unable to rule which she doubts that would ever happen.

Besides she was the foreign daughter. The daughter with mixed blood. Not that Tom Dupain was treated with hostility when he married Sabine. At least not much – mainly due to his class status. It’s just the ministers preferred a pure-blooded princess to continue the bloodline rather than a half-Chinese half-French female. Even with an empress that is loved and hailed as a savior, there were some that still kept the traditional gender and race bias.

Whatever, it wasn’t Marinette’s issue.

As far as anyone was concerned, Marinette Dupain-Cheng had no relations with Empress Cheng Xi-Feng of China.

"Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā,” Marinette sang soften as she struck her needle through a piece of silk fabric. “Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā. Fēn fāng měi lì mǎn zhī yā, yòu xiāng yòu bái rén rén kuā.”

“Marinette? Are you speaking…Chinese?” questioned Tikki. “I thought you didn’t know Chinese?”

"Huh? Oh! No, no, that's just a song my grandmother used to sing to me," replied Marinette, looking up from her design. "She always sang it to me whenever I visit, to the point it got stuck in my head. I honestly don't know what the words even mean. I just know the song is called the Jasmine Flower."

“It’s pretty!” Tikki said, landing on top of her wielder’s head.

“Yeah, I think so too,” the pigtailed girl smiled.

"Marinette!" the muffled voice of Sabine echoed through the room, "Marinette, come downstairs. There’s a package for you."

'Package?' thought Marinette as she set aside the embroidery she was working on.

Marinette made her way downstairs to see her petite mother hauling in two large boxes covered in tape and stamps. She quickly ran over and took the top box into her arms.

"Thanks, sweetie. That one is yours," Sabine gesture to the box her daughter just took. “Your grandmother sent it.”

“Grandma?” Marinette perked up. Glancing at the return address she saw a bunch of Chinese letters.

Yep, definitely from China, hence from grandma Xi-Feng.

"Thanks, mom! I'll open it upstairs," said Marinette as she ran back up to her room, shutting the trap door behind her.

Tikki, still fluttering in the air, swirled around the girl and her newly brought package. Marinette wasted no time putting it down on her worktable and started rummaging around for something sharp.

"The box cutter is in the left drawer," Tikki pointed it out. “So your grandmother sent this gift? Grandma Gina?”

“No, not my dad’s mom, my mom’s…mom,” Marinette explained. “She lives in China with my uncle, aunt, and cousins. My parents and I go to visit them every year. Usually, she would send us gifts in the mail."

“What’s the occasion?”

"No occasion, just a gift. Aha, ~!" Lifting the box cutters up from their hiding spot, Marinette swiftly cut across the cardboard, breaking the seal.

Digging through the flood of packing peanuts revealed a smaller intricate gift box decorated with various Chinese patterns and characters. Inside was a beautiful handmade qípáo, or cheongsam. Intricately woven lace wrapped around the upper half of the torso and created cap sleeves. The lace fused with the silk at the waist forming a trumpet skirt that stopped at the ground, leaving a train of lace at the back.

“Gorgeous!” gushed Tikki, circling the dress. “Your grandmother must have paid a lot of money to buy this for you!”

'Or she asked the royal seamstress to make me another qípáo in red this time,' Marinette thought as she carefully pulled the garment from the box.

Marinette didn’t want to tell the little kwami that this was actually her sixth qípáo her grandmother had sent to her in the past few years. Just a month ago Xi-Feng had sent her a blue ruqun along with a collection of lovely handcrafted hairpins, combs, and clips. Marinette held the dress up to the mirror, imagining herself wearing it. Maybe to a fancy gala or a fashion show.

‘I could wear it when I visit grandma again this year,’ Marinette thought.

Sabine had planned for their family to visit her mother for Christmas this year. They would stay for three weeks, celebrating the Winter Solstice and leaving after New Year’s Day. Xi-Feng hosted small gatherings during each celebration. Members of the family and royal courts only, free to mingle within the city wall. No reporters. No camera. Just her and her family and the staff – all sworn to secrecy.

Although…

Marinette side-eyed Tikki. ‘I’ll probably have to tell Tikki about my grandma’s ‘occupation’ before we leave. That way I don’t have to explain the private jet or the limo or the palace…’

“You should thank her for the gift,” said Tikki, snapping Marinette out of her thoughts.

“I should. Let me go call her,” Marinette agreed as she carefully folded her dress back in the box before heading downstairs. “Mom, do you mind if I call grandma?”

“Of course,” replied Sabine, admiring the silver and turquoise earring and necklace she was gifted. Both were crafted to look like dragons wrapping around her ear and neck. “Let me go grab the phone.”

First rule of the Dupain-Cheng household: if you wish to contact family in China, you must use the secure, government cellphone. Since Sabine Cheng, formally known as Sabine Cheng gōngzhǔ, was technically NOT removed from the Cheng family, only in hiding due to her marriage, any connection from her family to Xi-Feng had to be through secured connections. And by ‘secured measures’, it meant Fort Knox times Area 51 type of security. At least that’s how her cousin explained it.

One of the ‘secured measures’ was a Chinese government issued phone protected by some of the most sophisticated security equipment on the planet. It had a design similar to that of a smartphone but thicker and heavier with a fingerprint scanner encrypted passcode. Only Sabine and Marinette’s fingerprints could open it. Extreme but necessary.

After her mother retrieved the phone, Marinette placed her index finger on the center of the screen as the screen scan her print before it opened. It didn’t take long for her to punch in the numbers before a familiar voice angered.

“Hello.”

"Ni hao, wài pó," replied Marinette, hoping she didn't butcher her Chinese greeting.

"I see you've been studying," Xi-Feng said, speaking fluent French. "A bit shaky on the pronunciation but I'm glad you’re finally learning your motherland's language again."

"It's a …a lot harder than I thought," she admitted sheepishly.

After the Kung Food incident last year with her great uncle, Marinette thought it would be best if she finally started learning Mandarin again. Not just so Marinette could learn her mother’s language and make it up to the servants who had learn French for her, but to avoid another future mishap.

And by ‘mishap,’ she meant having Alya call Adrien out of the blue and making her look like an awkward idiot.

“They’re just so many characters to learn and trying to keep track of which is which…” Marinette rambled.

Xi-Feng’s laughed echoed through the speaker. “I know, I know, but have patience. Soon you’ll be able to speak and converse with me in perfect Mandarin, my little húdié!"

Marinette winced at her grandmother’s pet name for her. Before Tikki and the Miraculous business, she loved when her grandmother called her ‘butterfly.’ It had been her nickname since as long as she could remember. Now with the akumas and Hawkmoth running around, it sounded less cute and sweet and just a bit sinister. But despite the uncomfortable feeling she got from being called butterfly, Marinette didn’t have the heart to ask her grandmother to stop.

“I hope so,” chuckled Marinette awkwardly before picking herself back up. “Anyway, I wanted to call to thank you for the dress you sent me. It’s absolutely beautiful. Send my regards to Xue for her work. She really needs to teach me how she creates her laceworks.”

"I'll see that she gives a lesson when you visit again. I – oh! Hold on, my dear."

Marinette heard a bit of static before her grandmother’s voice shouted in rapid Mandarin to someone nearby. “Cheng Shen, get Bella back in her cage! Why is she out? She’s frightening the maids.”

“I apologize, grandmother,” answered a male voice. “The lock was very weak and she broke free. I’ve called for the lock to be replaced so she won’t do it again.”

“This better not happen again! Apologize to the maids as well, poor things almost fainted when they saw Bella roaming the halls,” berated Xi-Feng. “And speaking of troublemakers, where is your brother?”

“…Koi pond.”

“He better be appreciating them and not fishing in it again,” replied the elder woman. “Those were gifts from the Japanese envoy!”

Marinette giggled as she heard her grandmother going back and forth with Shen. Despite not understanding a word they were saying, she could tell her grandmother was angry and scolding at Shen. Most likely to do with Bella, his pet and gift from their grandmother Gina. She could probably guess that she either got out of her cage or was leaving scratch marks on the wooden tiled floor.

“Sorry about that, dear,” Xi-Feng replied, back on the line. “Shen had an issue with Bella and I’m hoping that Tingzhe isn’t messing with the fishes again. Hopefully, no problems more will pop up for today."

“Tell them and Uncle Jianguo and Aunt Mei I said hello," Marinette asked.

“I’ll be sure to have them call you back later today,” her grandmother replied. “Now enough about our boring lives, how’s everything in Paris? Are you keeping up with your school work? Do you still have an issue with that ‘Chloe’ girl?”

For the next half hour, Marinette chatted away with her grandmother, swapping stories and generally catching up with one another after months apart. Xi-Feng bid her granddaughter goodbye as she had to attend a meeting with the officials from the financial affairs department.

“Give your mother my regards. Until we meet again,” ended Xi-Feng.

Marinette ended the call and stored the phone back in it’s hiding place before returning to her room and to Tikki. The little kwami was busying herself with a near-empty plate of cookies.

“Sounds like you and your grandmother are really close,” remarked Tikki. “More so than you and Gina. How come I haven’t heard of her before?”

“Because she lives in China all her life and can’t really leave the country," she explained. "You see, my mom's family is kind of…'important.' My grandmother can't step foot outside China while my aunt, uncle, and cousins can leave but not for extended periods of time, even to visit."

“Why?” Tikki gave her a puzzled look. “Do they work for the government or something?”

“…I guess you can say that,” Marinette responded. “My grandmother has a very…’significant’ position in the Chinese government. As well as my uncle who’s been preparing to take over my grandmother’s job when she retires.”

“Your uncle Wang?” Tikki looked confused.

Marinette shook her head. “No, no, I mean my other uncle. Uncle Jianguo. My grandmother married twice. Uncle Wang is her brother in law from her first marriage and Uncle Jianguo is her son and my mom’s half-brother from her second marriage. It’s all pretty confusing if you don’t know the family tree.”

“Oh, I see.” The kwami fluttered about as Marinette changed into her new gown. “You look like a dream!”

“Feels like one too,” Marinette spun around a couple times, enjoying how the skirt floated in the air before resting comfortably back against her skin. She loved how the fabric felt, how it fitted her perfectly. With the right pair of shoes, she would look like a true princess.

‘Though I guess that was the intention grandmother was going for,’ she thought.

“Sweetheart, you look stunning!”

Marinette jumped as her mother peeked her head through the door. Thankfully Tikki heard the footsteps before Marinette did and quickly hid behind the mannequins in the corner.

“Thanks, mom. Grandma really wanted to top her last gift,” she said.

“If she keeps this up, you’ll be getting you a gold plated car with your own driver,” Sabine joked.

“Yeah, because that’s what I need: people questioning why my grandmother can send me a car and a chauffeur,” Marinette replied drily.

“I hope you’re not planning on letting that dress sit in her closet. It’s too beautiful not to be worn.”

“Well…” Marinette thought. “I was thinking of wearing it when we visit grandma this Christmas. But there is a fashion show coming next month. Maybe I’ll wear it there.”

“You could, but you might be confused for one of the models,” Sabine smiled.

Her daughter rolled her eyes, but in good nature. “Yeah right. But that does give me an idea.”

“I’ll leave you to your ‘idea’ then. I have to give your father his gift anyway. Just make sure to put away the dress properly," Sabine kissed her head and exited the room. "Though I wish mother and Mei would stop sending Tom gold-decorated cookware. Like we need more dragon-shaped knives and gold leaf plates…”

Once she couldn’t hear her mother’s voice anymore, Marinette called out to Tikki and quickly changed into her normal clothes.

“Come on, I need to go to the fabric store.”

“Inspired by your dress?” asked the kwami.

“Yep! This dress needs a good pair of shoes to go with it,” smiled Marinette, grabbing her purse. “And I have an old pair of heels I want to revamp just for this occasion. Come on, Lafayette Saltiel Drapiers has a great selection on Chinese patterned fabric!”

#ml #ml fic #miraculous ladybug #modern princess au #miraculous the tales of ladybug and chat noir #glass slippers #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #sabine cheng #xi-feng cheng #xifeng cheng #modern princess #prologue #fanfiction #my writing #fanfic #princess marinette

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cutaepatootie · 6 years

Text

Down the Three Seasons path

Pairing: Hoseok | Reader

Word Count: 36.5k (did i say 35? Ooops)

Genre: FantasyAU, Angst, a tiny bit of Fluff and Smut.

Summary: You wondered if he would ever walk down the Three Seasons path again in hopes of remembering you, in hopes of remembering how, once upon a time, you both fell in love with each other.

Tales of Greyria

The dream is always the same.

Green fields, white daisies, and golden wheat. The sun shines high up in the sky and the breeze plays with the sea beyond the cliffs.

The girl can see a beautiful castle made of marble and silver on top of a high cliff. Its gardens full of all sort of flowers, but the red roses are the ones who stand out the most to her. In the distance, she can hear the sound of the water falling from a fountain.

It is all so peaceful and beautiful…

But suddenly, all the red flowers die, the sounds of water stop, and snow starts falling from the sky. Grey clouds appear and a strange green light seeps through them.

The little girl raises a hand towards the sky, trying to touch the snowflakes. But when one of them reaches her bare skin, it burns her. She lets out a strangled cry, the pain ascending from her hand and reaching her soul.

When she brings her hand down so she can see the snowflake melting on her skin, all she can see is a small dot of light, a small star. It burns her skin, creating a red circle around it. Another strangled cry escapes from the girl’s throat, the sound mixing with the sound of distant thunders.

The star disappears into her skin leaving a trace of light behind it. As it pierces her flesh, seeps into her bones, she feels it burning, tearing everything on its way. All she can feel is pain, cold and darkness. And when a dead red rose appears on her skin, just where the star had touched, she starts screaming.

She wakes up covered in sweat, and the first thing she does is bring her small hand from under the sheets and look at the palm. It is empty; no dead red rose, no burn. Just pale skin.

“Sweetie?” the voice of her grandmother says from the other side of the door.

Seconds later, the old woman appears in the room, dressed in her old nightgown.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, taking a seat on the bed, just by the side of her beloved granddaughter. “Why were you screaming?”

“I had another nightmare, nan,” the girl says in between erratic breaths.

“Oh honey…” the old woman says, leaning back against the headboard of the bed and leaving her candle on the nightstand. “Was it the same?”

“Yeah…” the girl says, sobbing a bit.

“Come here.”

The girl obeys and moves closer to the warm body of her grandmother. She is trembling and sweat is falling from her forehead.

“I’m not going to tell you any more stories if you have bad dreams because of them afterwards,” the woman says, caressing her granddaughter’s forehead, moving away her sweaty bangs.

“No!” the girl says, standing up so she can look into her grandma’s eyes and so the old woman can see the pout on her face. “Please!”

“But if you keep having nightmares…”

“They’re not nightmares, I just get a bit… I don’t care about the nightmares nan! I want to know the rest of the stories, I want to know what happened to Greyria!” she excitedly says.

The woman looks at her with hesitation in her eyes. “If your mother finds out you have been having nightmares because of me…”

“I won’t tell her, I promise,” she jumps on the bed again. “Please nan, tell me the next story!”

“Now? We should be sleeping, it’s past midnight!” her grandmother laughs.

“I don’t care, I’m not sleepy anymore and I wont be able to sleep after that nightmare,” she pleads. “Please nan, please…”

The old woman looks at her granddaughter and the pout on her lips. She can’t help but feel her heart warming up at her soft eyes.

“All right…” she ends up laughing softly.

The young girl squeaked from happiness as she leaned onto her grandmother’s lap once again.

“The stories…”

The stories said there was an old monastery, hidden between three mountains, each one of them located in a different kingdom.

One of the kingdoms was the Spring Kingdom, its valleys and fields always covered with the beautiful colours of orange tulips and pink peonies. Its mountains filled with the smell of fresh berries and cold water, filled with blossoming trees such as cherry blossoms, almond trees or magnolia trees.

The second one was the Autumn Kingdom. Its colours were browns, oranges and burgundies of all sorts in the form of dead leaves resting on the ground. You could see big, orange pumpkins growing in their fields, walnuts falling from their trees. Its stone paths were hidden underneath the layers of leaves and mud, and its mountains were as beautiful as the colours that plagued them.

The third one, the last kingdom that encircled the old monastery, was the Winter Kingdom, white and cold, just like its name. You couldn’t see a single soul on the streets and its lakes were covered in a thick layer of ice and snow. Its trees were naked, but its mountains were full of pines and other trees that survived the tough cold, all made of dark browns and even more darker greens.

And, surrounded by a mountain filled with cherry blossoms, other covered in oranges and browns, and other full of pines and snow, there was the old monastery.

The place was deserted and quiet, almost as if time was stopped there, in the middle of three different seasons. It had an eerie aura, and magic, ancient, could be sensed in the air. They said the monastery was made of dark stone, its thick doors made of one of the best wood in the whole continent and its windows made of the most beautiful and colourful glass. In the centre of the building was a big courtyard, and in it, there was a big fountain – the water in it, iced a long time ago. Despite having numerous and remarkable halls, the one that stood out the most was its huge library.

Infinite shelves that touched the high ceiling made of oak wood, each one of them replete of books, encyclopaedias and old maps of the continent and its kingdom. Books that spoke about the human body, about religion, about countries, finances, weather… About magic and dark arts. If a book existed, if it had ever been written, it was kept in the library of the old monastery.

But that was just what the stories told, for no one had ever seen such monastery, or its library and let alone its collection of books.

All you knew was that an old monastery did exist in one of that three kingdoms the stories mentioned, but it was an old and decaying monastery made of simple stone, simple wood and simple, plain glass. It had no fountain and its library was small, full of books about religion and prayers.

You were only certain of one thing: that the expedition you were in, was probably doomed to failure.

You didn’t remember when your love for ancient, unique books had started – you had been collecting them ever since you were a kid – but you did remember when you first heard about the book you were searching now.

When you turned four, your father decided you were ready to start learning how to read and how to write, so he hired an old priest as your teacher. He was wise, patient and the best teacher you ever had, and when your mother died, he became your father figure. When you close your eyes, you can still remember his white hair, his tired eyes and soft smile, you can still hear the sound of the set of keys he always brought with him, clinking as he paced around the library. He was the one who taught you all you knew, the one who made you the person you were, and he was the one who told you all those stories, all those adventures you dreamed about when you were younger.

The last memory you had of the old priest was the memory of the day of your tenth birthday, the day he gifted you the first book. It looked old, insignificant, just another book of the many more he had gifted you. Its cover was made of brown leather, torn in the corners and discoloured in the borders. Some pages had been ripped, and others had been stained with the wax that had fallen from a candle. But the moment the old priest came closer to you, and looked you directly in the eye as he handed you the book, you knew it wasn’t an ordinary book.

And it definitely wasn’t an ordinary book.

When you were in your chamber, safe under the covers of your bed and the light of your oil lamp, you finally opened the book the priest had gifted you. A number one written on top of a number four in black ink adorned the first page. The writing was messy and ugly, and you could barely understand a word, but as you kept reading and scrolling trough the pages, you came to the conclusion that it was a diary dated from 1145. It once belonged to a girl no older than you, 305 years before, long before the War of the Red Rose. But she wasn’t any girl, she was a witch, a very powerful witch.

In the pages you could see all sort of drawings, descriptions of magical creatures, spells and potions. Beautiful designs of birds and stags. Tears staining the pages in which she described how her parents abandoned her, how she felt different from the kids in her village. Ink stains were all over those pages in which she had written with rage when she had been angry. You could see her life through the pages of that journal.

You spent that night reading the mysterious journal. And the following too, and the next, and the rest of the nights of the following week until you finished reading it. And when your eyes arrived to the last page, you felt incomplete, as if you needed more, as if you needed to know more about that girl and her life. It couldn’t end like that.

But, with the passing of time, you ended up forgetting about the journal that was kept in one of your shelves, next to a hundredth books you had read before.

At the age of fifteen, you had been walking down the streets of Greyria, the hood of your cloak covering your face as you scanned the different stands of the small market placed in the centre of the village. You were chewing a small piece of bread you had bought to a boy in the bakery when you saw it in the middle of some old books.

A journal that looked just as old and insignificant as the rest of the books around it. Its cover was made of brown leather, torn in the corners and discoloured in the borders and when you opened it, a big two on top of a four was written in black ink. The writing was the same, just as messy and ugly. The drawings, the stains of wax, tears and ink… It was the second journal of four.

In it, the girl had grown older and wiser. Her drawings and descriptions were more precise, and her words and magic were… Darker. It left you with a bitter taste after reading it, and you wanted more and more of it.

A few months later, you found the third journal in hands of an old curer. You had been searching for it when you came across the woman. She sold all sort of minerals and beverages whom she said could grant you good health and fortune, and you were about to ignore and go away when you saw it: the third journal. At first, the old woman was reticent and didn’t want to sell you the journal, but after a bit of convincing and a lot of money, she ended up giving in.

The third journal was even darker than the second one. The girl had fallen in love, but had been betrayed by her own lover a while after. Her writing was messier and her drawings were no longer drawings of birds and beautiful stags, they were about horrendous creatures with big horns and yellow eyes. She did something bad, something dangerous, something dark… Something that was against the rules of the Universe, of the Mother Nature. But the third journal came to its end and you never knew what the girl had done or what happened to her or her lover.

You spent years, kilometres and money, in searching the fourth journal. After travelling the whole continent searching for the journal everywhere, in every single library, market and shop you could find, you began to lose hope.

That was, until you heard about the expedition to the old monastery in between the three Mountains of the Three Seasons.

The old priest had told you about the monastery, but you had taken it as another of his tales and never thought about it too much.

As you were walking through the crowded streets of the village on a Sunday morning, you overheard the conversation between two men. You were hiding yourself under the hood of your cloak, smelling the freshly collected apricots, when you heard a deep voice mentioning something about an expedition.

“It’s dangerous, and we will have to travel through unknown lands, but they money they offer is enough for me to risk my life,” the voice said.

Your ears perked at that and all your attention was on them and their conversation. An expedition? Dangerous? Unknown lands?

“I don’t know, I need the money, but my parents need me at the shop and I can’t leave them hanging,” the other man said. His voice was much softer than the other man’s.

“You’re one of the best trackers in the whole kingdom,” the other man insisted. “You could help us find the way to that old monastery.”

“I’m good at tracking and guiding, but I can’t do magic. No one has ever really seen that monastery, we don’t know for sure if it exists or not.”

“That’s why it’s called an expedition.”

“An expedition to the monastery in between the three Mountains of the Three Seasons? Doesn’t sound like an expedition to me. It looks more like a death sentence.”

The monastery in between the three Mountains of the Three Seasons. As soon as you heard those words, your mind travelled back to the story the old priest had told you about it, about the magic aura of the place and about… It’s huge library. You thought you had already searched for the fourth journal all across the continent, but maybe not, because you hadn’t searched in that monastery. Could it be the place where the last journal was hidden? Could it be the key to the thousand unanswered questions you had?

A week after, you found yourself paying 2 silver coins to join the expedition, about to cross the whole continent once again. But this time, you were on your own and you wouldn’t have the protection of your father’s guards – not that you needed them anyway, for your bow was like an extension of your own arm and your old silver compass all you needed to not get lost.

You didn’t even know what the expedition was about until you were sat by the fire one night, under the shadows of a big willow tree as you ate your bowl of soup – you kept yourself away from the group to hide your identity.

“Do you know who’s the person who is behind this expedition?” A boy no older than you said, you had heard his name in a previous conversation: Minho.

“Hmm…” another man said while chewing a piece of roasted meat. He was older than Minho and one of the two men who led the expedition, his name was Yong. “I’ve barely seen her twice.”

“Her?” Minho asked.

“Yeah, she’s a woman. Rich. Old… She wants eternal life, pff,” Yong scoffed, taking another bite from his meal.

“She doesn’t expect us to find it, does she?” A boy named Jinwoo asked.

“I don’t know, either way, we just have to go to that monastery, grab some water from its magical fountain and give it to her,” the other man who was in charge of the expedition, Yeong-Su, said. He was the eldest in the expedition. You had never seen him, but from the way he handled his sword, he was either an important hunter or a retired guard.

“If she really thinks that stupid water will give her eternal life, she must be crazy,” Seunghoon said, laughing lowly. You recognised him, he was one of the men you had heard in the streets of Greyria, that Sunday morning.

“She��s a selfish woman who is afraid of death and has too much money in her pockets. If she was poor, she would worry about how she would feed her family and not about a stupid fountain in the middle of nowhere,” Yong said, his mouth still full of food as he spoke.

A silence filled the clear, only the crakes of the fire being heard in the dark night. You took another sip from your soup, welcoming the warm liquid as it went down your throat. So, the expedition was about finding a fountain of magical water which could grant you eternal life… Was going to that monastery in search of a huge library as absurd as searching for a fountain of eternal life?

“And we’re about to risk our lives for the absurd desires of a rich woman…” a voice that hadn’t been heard yet said. You recognised it too. It belonged to a boy who barely spoke, always on his own at the front of the group, his head low, looking at his old compass. He was the one who was leading the group towards the monastery, he was the other boy you had heard at Greyria’s streets. He was Hoseok.

His face was familiar to you. Dark eyes, sharp nose and dark hair, he was a mystery to you. You had found yourself that week looking at him more than once. While the rest of the boys were laughing and drinking at the taverns in which you stopped along the way, he stayed outside, looking at the sky or some maps. He didn’t drink, he didn’t laugh, and he barely spoke, and the few times he had looked at you, he had a frown on his face, as if he didn’t trust you.

“We’re about to risk our lives for twenty golden coins each. We’ll be rich,” Yeongsu said. “What kid? Are you suddenly afraid of what we might find?”

You heard Hoseok scoff. “I’m more afraid of what we might not find.”

Then, he stood up and walked away from the group. On his way towards his tent, he saw you, your back against the trunk of a tree, your bowl of soup in between your hands as you overheard the conversation. He barely looked at you as he passed by your side, but when his eyes finally looked away from yours, you let out a relieved sigh.

. . .

The tavern was just like the rest. The chairs and tables were made of thick, old wood. The room was filled with the smell of alcohol, meat, sweat and dirt. All you could hear were the sounds of the cutlery against the plates and tables, the loud laughs of the drunk men and the playful screams of the woman that were sitting on their laps, the sounds of a lute being played in the distance…

Your face scrunched up in disgust behind the protection of your hood and your scarf.

As you passed by a table occupied by a group of men and heard their disgusting comments about a waitress and what they wanted to do to her, your appetite disappeared and all you wanted to do was run upstairs and hide in the room you had rented. With the silver coins each one of you had to pay before leaving Greyria, you had been able to rent rooms at taverns and buy some meals.

“Hey, you,” you heard the voice of Yong from behind you.

You were facing your back towards him and the rest of the group, absorbed in the dense atmosphere that surrounds you.

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” he repeated, grabbing your shoulder and spinning you around. You stopped yourself from flinching at his rude touch. “Are you gonna have dinner with us tonight or are you just going to hide in your room as usual?”

You looked at his rude face, his eyes looking harshly at you. You shook off his hand from your arm and took some steps backwards.

“I’m not hungry, I’ll go to my room,” you said, deepening your voice so you would sound like a man.

Without any further do, you walked away from them and towards the narrow stairs that led upstairs.

“That guy is a weirdo,” Yong said, turning around and focusing on the beer that had been placed in front of him.

“Yeah, he is,” Hoseok mumbled under his breath, looking at your back as you disappeared amongst the crowd.

. . .

Hours slowly turned into days, days into weeks.

And slowly, you got used to waking up every morning in your modest sleeping-bag to the sounds of an awakening forest, or the whispers of the wind running through a meadow. You got used to the quietness of the nature and the loneliness of a traveller.

You had travelled before, but always followed by your father’s guards, who didn’t even let you explore the surroundings of the places in which you camped at. There had always been so much noise around you, noise that had hidden the precious sounds of the breeze caressing the leaves of the trees, the sounds of water colliding softly against the shore of a lake, of an owl hooting in the distance, of a small mouse running towards its den.

But there, lying on the grass of a spacious clear, bathing under the silver moonlight, you could hear everything. The sounds of the summer breeze caressing the green leaves of the trees, the sounds of water from a lake, an owl hooting in the distance and the soft footsteps of a mouse running towards its den.

You relished in the feeling of it all, subtly smiling as you saw the owl on a nearby tree. His yellow eyes were looking at you in the distance.

You lost sight of the owl and its yellow eyes as soon as laughter disrupted the serenity of the clear.

“The last one to arrive to the river has to cook for a week!” you heard a loud male voice say.

“No way I’m cooking for a week!” another voice sounded after the first one.

You sat yourself up on the grass, careful to cover your face under the hood of your cloak. Four figures appeared in the clear.

Jinwoo was the first figure, running the fastest as he took off his leather pants. Following him were Seunghoon, Minho and Hoseok – although this one was walking more than running. They were all undressing themselves, going towards the lake that was just at the other side of the clear, behind some bushes. You only stood there, contemplating them and hoping they wouldn’t notice you.

Before you could see something you didn’t want to see, you slowly stood up and turned around, ready to go away and find another quiet clear.

“Hey! You!” you heard Seunghoon say. You flinched, hoping he wasn’t calling you.

“Are you deaf? You never answer when someone calls you!” the voice of Jinwoo followed Seunghoon’s.

Clenching your teeth and briefly closing your eyes, you turned around to find the four boys, in only their underwear, looking at you. Your eyes landed on Hoseok, who was the only one who was still dressed. His stare caused a shiver to run down your spine and you averted your eyes away from him.

“What are you doing here?” Seunghoon asked you.

“I…” you said, clearing your throat to make it deeper. “I was taking a nap.”

“How boring,” Jinwoo complained. “And are you going to stay here all night napping?”

“Err…” you hesitated.

“Why don’t you join us?” Minho said, breaking his silence.

“Err…” you hesitated once again. Bad idea, bad idea, back off.

“Yeah! Why don’t you join us? You’re always so lonely and you always distance yourself from us,” Jinwoo said.

Hoseok remained quiet, his eyes on you the entire time, a somewhat satisfied look in his eyes.

“I don’t know how to swim,” you said, hoping they would take that as your answer and let you go.

“Oh, c’mon, we won’t go too deep into the lake, we won’t swim,” Minho said.

“Yeah, we’re just gonna fool around by the shore,” Seunghoon added.

You hesitated once again. There was no way you were going to get into that lake, let alone take your clothes off and let everyone see that, in fact, you are a woman. Most men thought women were nothing but a burden when it came to expeditions, war and other “manly” things, that they delayed the group and only brought problems and extra work for them. Of course, you could prove them wrong, the problem was that, if they discovered you were a woman, they wouldn’t even give you the chance to show them. Much less if they discovered who you really were…

“What do you say about it?” Jinwoo pushed you a bit.

Again, you looked at Hoseok’s intense gaze.

“Hm, maybe another day,” you smiled a bit, softening your words a bit although they couldn’t see it.

They didn’t even give you the chance to turn around and walk back to the camp, because in a second, the three young men were running towards you. You yelped when you felt them grab you by your arms and legs and carry you to the lake.

“No! Please stop!” you were screaming, forgetting about deepening your voice. “Please don’t!”

You tried to wriggle out of their embrace, tossing and turning, but they were stronger and barely noticed you struggling to get free.

“Throw him in the water!” you heard Jinwoo exclaim happily.

“No!” you screamed again.

“Seunghoon, let go of him!” Minho laughed.

“No! Guys please! I can’t swim!” you kept screaming.

You felt someone pulling from your cloak, breaking the buttons at the front that kept it fastened. You screamed one last time, feeling your face hot from desperation. If they found out you were a woman they would probably abandon you, or worst, if they found out who you were, they would bring you to the castle, to your father.

“One! Two! Three!” they all screamed at the same time.

“No!” you screamed before feeling their touch disappear underneath you.

Your cloak detached itself from your body as you flied towards the lake. Your eyes closed instinctively, and your arms and legs kept waving in the air as if you somehow could fly. A last scream escaped from your throat before your body sunk in the water.

All you could feel was the lukewarm water of the lake, and your body sinking deeper into it. Your eyes opened only to be immediately closed again. Your throat and chest burned as you let go of the air that had been kept in your lungs. Your arms were pointlessly moving in circular motions, trying to push you to the surface. You hadn’t lied when you said you didn’t know how to swim.

Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed you by the waist and pulled you towards the surface.

You took a deep breath of air when those arms finally dragged you towards the shore of the lake and coughed the water that had gotten into your lungs.

Your eyes were closed, your coughs dying down and your heart rate going back to normal once again. You could feel your wet white blouse sticking to your body, your hair all over your face, and the damp sand of the lake shore underneath you.

“What the fuck?!” you heard a voice exclaim.

You kept taking deep breaths.

“Oh my God,” you heard another voice.

Slowly, you opened your eyes. The first thing you saw was the night sky, but as your eyes travelled downwards, you saw four faces looking at you.

“I-It’s a w-woman,” Jinwoo stuttered.

You sat yourself up on the damp sand, a guilty look on your face.

As if you could bite them, they all took some steps back as soon as you sat yourself up. All except the boy that was crouched by your side.

Hoseok was still breathing heavily as droplets of water fell from his damp, dark hair. His clothes were wet too, and he was looking at you with an impassible expression on his face, but his eyes were sharper, narrowed.

“W-what…” Seunghoon stuttered.

“We need to bring her to Yong and Yeongsu,” Hoseok said, speaking for the first time that night.

“No, wait please,” you begged, observing how he stood up. “Don’t tell them, they’ll kick me out.”

“That’s why we need to bring you to them,” he said, his voice stern and his eyes severe on you.

“I can’t go back to Greyria, please,” your voice sounded low, almost desperate.

“And I don’t care about it,” Hoseok said. “Stand up.”

Your features turned from soft to sharp. You frowned.

“If you don’t stand up, I will. I’m not afraid of dragging a woman towards the camp.”

You looked at the rest of the boys, as if you were asking them for help, but their faces had gone from shocked to stern as Hoseok’s.

“Stand up, I won’t repeat it a third time,” he said from behind you.

With your lips pursed, you stood up, feeling all your clothes stick even more to your body as you sent a glare towards Hoseok.

“A woman?!” Yong exclaimed as soon as Hoseok told him what had happened.

He then looked at you with fury in his eyes.

“I suspected it, but I didn’t have any proof,” Hoseok said, his eyes on you all the time.

You sent him another glare. You had covered your body with the brown cloak, but your damp hair was falling down your shoulders, and your soft features gave you away.

“You’re a fucking woman!” Yong repeated, not paying any attention to Hoseok and instead walking towards you.

You lifted your chin up and expanded your chest. “Yes, I am,” you proudly said.

Yong’s small eyes narrowed, looking like two small slits in the middle of his face.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Yong hissed.

“But I am,” you said, keeping your chin up.

You observed how Yong’s jaw clenched as he took another step towards you.

“Don’t be so impertinent girl, you depend on us right now,” Yeongsu said, his arms crossed across his chest as he observed the scene from afar.

“What are we going to do with her?” Seunghoon asked.

Yong looked at you through his narrowed eyes once again before taking some steps backs and starting to pace around the fire that was lit in the centre of the camp.

“We’re gonna leave tomorrow morning, before the sun rise. And we’re gonna leave her here,” Yong said, his voice echoing around the place.

“You can’t just leave me here.”

“Oh, we can and we’re going to do that,” Yong laughed sarcastically.

“You need me,” you said all of the sudden.

Everyone laughed, mocking you.

“Really? I don’t see how?” Yong said.

“You needed an archer, that’s why you picked me for the expedition.”

“No, sweetie,” he repeated that nickname you hated. You preferred if he still referred to you as the weirdo and not as sweetie, it made you sick. “We needed a proper archer, a male archer. You’re just a girl with a bow and some arrows.”

Your cheeks reddened at that, but not because his words had embarrassed you, but because they had made you incredibly angry.

“I can shoot an arrow better than any man can do,” you said through clenched teeth, making Yong and the rest laugh and your anger increase.

Hoseok wasn’t laughing, but he was still looking at you with that smirk on his face.

“You don’t believe me?” you asked.

“I’ve never met a girl so funny,” Yong said, still laughing at you.

He was trying to humiliate you, but all he was doing was fuelling your anger.

Without saying a word, you turned around and walked towards your horse. Next to him were your things. And your bow.

You grabbed it and then, the quiver.

“What are you gonna do? Shoot us?” Yong teased you.

“I’m gonna show you what I can do,” you thought. You opted for quietly grabbing an arrow from your quiver and adjusting it to your bow. Actions, after all, spoke louder than words.

After charging your bow, you lifted it in the air. The tensed bowstring caressed your lips as you focused on your target. Hoseok.

“What are you doing?” he asked, sounding a bit breathless. Was he a bit scared? You smiled devilishly at the thought.

“Hey girl, point that bow down,” Yeongsu said.

“Yeah, sweetie, don’t play with men’s things,” Yong said, this time in a serious tone.

Your nostrils flared from anger, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were grasping the bow.

You closed one eye, felt the direction of the air and then, you let go of the bowstring. The arrow flew across the air, aiming at Hoseok.

It flew just above his shoulder, piercing the still wet piece of clothing that covered his upper body and hammering itself onto the trunk that was behind him – a piece of white blouse stuck in between the tree and the arrow.

You lowered your bow and observed with a satisfied smirk how Hoseok lifted a hand to touch the spot in which the arrow had pierced the blouse and a bit of his skin, red blood pouring from the small wound.

Then, you looked at the rest of the men. All had the same astonished expression on their faces, opened mouths and wide eyes.

“You could have killed him,” Seunghoon whispered, his eyes still wide as he looked from you to Hoseok.

“But I didn’t, because that wasn’t my intention. If it had been, he wouldn’t be standing on his feet right now,” you proudly said.

“Sure,” you heard the stern voice of Hoseok. He was looking at you with an accusatory look in his eyes. “She can’t stay with us, she will only bring us even more problems.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, momentarily wishing you had shot the arrow a bit lower so it would have hammered against his chest and not the trunk of a tree.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Yong said.

“She’s brave,” Yeongsu said all of the sudden. He had remained quiet ever since you had shot the arrow. He was still with his arms crossed across his chest, and his posture was relaxed.

“She’s reckless,” Hoseok spat.

“That’s not bad,” Yeongsu said in your defense.

“No, that can only put us all in danger,” Hoseok continued. His hand was still over his shoulder, and his eyes were still holding that angry look whenever your eyes found each other.

“I don’t see how her brave behaviour could put us into danger, Jung,” Yeongsu said, uncrossing his arms as he turned around to look at Hoseok. He had gotten tired of the lack of respect from the young man towards him.

Hoseok pursed his lips and lowered his head, his cheeks turning red from anger and embarrassment at the stern words and look from the older man.

“She can’t go around there shooting arrows to whoever she wants,” Yong said, still looking at you.

“I shot the arrow at him because I wanted to show you all what I can do,” you spoke, making them all look at you once again. “I am fast, I have good aim, and I don’t get easily scared. I won’t bring you any problems.”

“But-“ Yong opened his mouth to speak.

“I have spent this past four weeks with you and I haven’t brought you any problems, nor do I have delayed you,” you interrupted him. “I want to go on this expedition… I can go on this expedition. The fact that I’m a woman doesn’t make me weaker or less valid for this than any of you.”

You looked at Yeongsu when the last word left your lips, proud of your words – you hadn’t studied rhetoric for nothing after all – and he was looking at you with a small smile on his lips.

“The girl can stay,” he said, shrugging and then winking at you before turning around and walking towards his usual place by the fire. He started eating again as if nothing had happened.

Hoseok scoffed and, glaring at you, he turned around too and disappeared into his tent.

“You will stay with us,” Yong ended up saying too. “But if you bring us any problems, if you put any of us in danger one single time… We’ll kick you out. Understood?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Alright, we won’t be taking care of you and we won’t treat you any different just because you’re a woman-”

“That’s exactly what I want,” you said, seeing Yong’s eyes narrow again as you interrupt him.

“You will have the tasks you had before, and nothing will change, you will help us hunt, cut wood for the fire,” he continued. “And you will be on guard every other night.”

You nodded. You didn’t care about all that, they only thing you wanted was to find the monastery, and hopefully, the fourth and last journal.

Yong opened his mouth as if he was about to say something else, but he closed it after a couple of seconds. He then shook his head and sat by the fire just like Yeongsu had done before.

The other three boys were still looking at you with those astonished expressions.

“What?” you said in a deep, stern voice, lifting your bow a bit.

Immediately, the three of them let out a strangled cry and frantically turned around, escaping from your look and the reach of your bow. You laughed a bit, contemplating how they went to hide in their tents.

But, as a shiver run down your spine, you stopped laughing. Your clothes were still soaked, and although it was a warm summer night, you were starting to get cold.

Before going to sleep that night, you saw that owl from before again. He was still staring at you with those deep, yellow eyes.

. . .

Out of all the six men, you became the closest to Yeongsu.

He treated you like a father. He patiently taught you how to fish in the river, how to hunt small rabbits, how to distinguish the sounds of the forest. He had the patient of a teacher, the knowledge of a wise man. He treated you like the daughter he told you he had never had.

You had been right when you first saw him. He had once been a guard from a noble family, that was why he knew how to fight, hunt and lead an expedition.

He had plenty of stories to tell, anecdotes. He reminded you of the old priest, your mentor.

When you weren’t walking with Yeongsu and exchanging stories, you were messing around with Seunghoon, Jinwoo and Minho. They stopped fearing you when they realised you weren’t as bad as they thought you were.

You were always exploring something, whether it’d be a dark cave in the middle of the forest or the room of a strange man in some tavern. And eventually, you found yourself thinking of them as your friends at night, as your comrades. They all came from humble families. Seunghoon’s parents had a farm in the outskirts of the village, and he lived there with his parents and siblings. Jinwoo lived in the village with his mother, who was a seamstress, and his younger sister. And Minho had no parents, but he and his older brother worked as farriers in the village – he could make a sword out of wood, stone, and whatever material you asked him.

Yong eventually stopped calling you sweetie when, one day, you pointed at him with one of your arrows after hearing you call you sweetie instead of Y/N. That was the last time he called you that.

And then, there was Hoseok. Hoseok and his angry stares. Hoseok and his silent being. Hoseok and his passive-aggressive behaviour towards you. But then, there was you. You and your angry stares at him. You and your silent being towards him. You and your passive-aggressive behaviour towards him. You guessed you were in a draw.

“Who will hunt tonight?” Yong had asked one night.

“Me,” you said. You didn’t like hunting, and it wasn’t one of your strong points, but that day you felt like taking a walk and trying to hunt something.

“I’ll do it,” Hoseok said seconds after you.

“What? You don’t think I’ll be able to hunt something?” you asked, raising your brows.

“Truly?” he asked back, looking at you defiantly. “No.”

Hoseok ended up hunting that night and you ended up going to sleep with an empty stomach, refusing to eat anything he had hunted.

Nevertheless, you still found yourself getting angry when he ignored you or when he disappeared as soon as you appeared.

“Hey guys,” you had said other day, walking towards the small group Jinwoo, Seunghoon and Minho had formed. They were laughing and playing some sort of game. You wanted to have fun too, so you approached them.

But as soon as you did so, you realised that Hoseok was there too. His back was against the trunk of a tree, and he had a huge smile on his face. For a moment – a brief moment – you thought it was a very beautiful smile. But then, his eyes landed on you and his smile disappeared. He scoffed and stood up just as you sat beside Jinwoo.

“Where are you going?” Seunghoon asked, looking at Hoseok with a frown on his face. They were having so much fun, why was he going all of the sudden?

“I have things to do,” Hoseok simply said, his voice as stern and cold as always.

He sent a glare towards you before turning around and walking away – a scene that repeated itself almost every day.

“What does he have to do?” Jinwoo asked, just as confused as you all were. “The camp is set for tonight and Yong has already gone hunting.”

You shrugged, your eyes lost in the depth of the forest as you wondered why he hated you so much – just like every time he abruptly went away each time you arrived

Other times, it was you who started that small cut and thrust.

“I think we just passed this same cave an hour ago,” you had said, making your horse stop in front of the cave.

“Hmm,” Minho said, looking at the cave as he stopped his horse behind yours. “Yeah, it looks familiar to me.”

“All caves are similar,” Hoseok shrugged, looking at his compass.

“Yeah, similar, but not identical,” you scoffed.

He lifted his eyes from the compass on his hands and looked at you.

“Are you implying we are walking in circles?” Hoseok asked, his eyes narrowing.

“That’s exactly what I’m implying, yep,” you said, your eyes on him the entire time.

He was fuming, you could see it in the way he clenched his teeth. He hated being wrong, but he knew how to control his temper, so he took a deep breath and let it go.

“Over there,” he simply said, spurring on his horse and resuming the march once again.

It was a constant back and forth between the two of you. But that’s all it was, an innocent back and forth. He clearly disliked you, and you clearly disliked him. Nothing serious.

Until one July night.

It had been nearly two months since the expedition began and a month since they discovered a woman. They trusted you – except for Hoseok – and you trusted them – except for Hoseok.

That morning, you had left the small village in which you had stayed the previous two nights, and since there wasn’t another village in 30 miles, you had to camp in the forest.

“You’ll be okay?” Jinwoo asked as he grabbed a blanket from his bag.

“Yes,” you said, adjusting your own blanket around your body as you rested your back on the trunk of a tree. The fire was right in front of you, the warmth of the flames softly caressing the skin on your face.

It was Summer, and despite days being warm and sunny, nights were as cold as the Winter. The humidity of the forest sank into your bones and the lack of light cooled your skin.

“Okay,” Jinwoo nodded, his blanket now folded in his arms. “If you need something, you know which one my tent is.”

“Don’t worry, go to sleep,” you said, smiling softly at him.

Jinwoo smiled and you observed him as he walked away. Once you were on your own, you sighed and pulled the blanket up so it would cover your chin. That night you had to stand guard.

You had stood guard other nights. It was boring, and tiring. Nothing interesting ever happened and the only thing that you enjoyed, the silence, was always broken by Seunghoon’s snores. Maybe that, and the fact that you had stood guard other nights and you thought you had everything under control, was the reason why you let your eyelids falls momentarily.

Relaxed by the warmth of your blanket and the creaks of the fire, you let them lull you to sleep.

At some point, you started hearing strange noises and slowly, opened your eyes. You didn’t know how much time had passed since you closed your eyes and fell asleep, but when you looked up to the sky, the moon was already starting to fade, and you could see the orange hues of the sun starting to fill its empty canvas.

Your eyes looked from the sky towards the ground, a shriek dying in your throat as you contemplated the scene before you.

The flames of the fire had grown, burning avidly the pieces of wood you had put underneath them. With ferocity, they had moved forward until they had reached the grass and the small branches that were on the ground.

“No, fuck,” you murmured, standing up, throwing the blanket somewhere behind the bushes. “No, no, no.”

In a complete state of panic, you paced around the place, not being able to tear your eyes away from the menacing flames of the fire. You tried to clear your mind so you could think about something you could do, but to no avail.

“Fuck,” you repeated, your eyes landing on a certain pile of things that had been already eaten by the flames.

You carefully approached that pile of things, praying to God that it wasn’t what you thought it was.

“No, please, no…” you cried, recognising that metallic object. “No, no, no.”

You looked around you. There was no lake or small river nearby, and you hadn’t enough water in your canteen to extinguish the fire. As you saw your blanket thrown over some brambles, you ran towards it.

You grabbed it, not even having time to cringe as you felt some of the thorns prick at your skin.

Throwing the blanket on top of the fire multiple times, you tried to extinguish it.

“Please,” you kept pleading as you threw the blanket over and over again.

Eventually, the fire lessened itself, but with every rise and fall of the blanket, a thick column of black smoke ascended, making you cough and causing a strong smell to spread itself around the place.

“What is going on?” you heard the voice of Minho first.

You ignored him as you kept up with your task.

“Oh my God,” another voice said.

“What’s happening?” you heard the voice you had been dreading to hear: Hoseok’s. “What the actual fuck?!”

You looked up to see them all getting out of their tents, with mixed expressions of sleep and astonishment on their faces.

“What’s going on?” said Yong.

“The fire!” pointed Minho.

“God,” you heard Yeongsu say.

“What have you done?!” Hoseok said, running towards you and pushing you away.

“Hey!” you protested, watching the blanket getting consumed by the flames.

“Stop doing that, you’re just creating smoke!” he screamed, pushing you away once again.

“Stop pushing me!” you shouted, starting to get angry.

“Throw soil!” Yeongsu screamed, ignoring the little argument between you and Hoseok. “Throw soil to the fire!”

Hoseok glared at you before doing as Yeongsu said and crouching on the ground to grab a handful of soil. Little by the little, the fire started getting smaller until just a few rebellious flames remained. You threw a last handful of soil and observed how the flames absorbed the damp dirt and disappeared.

“Phew… It was close…” Seunghoon said, starting to laugh.

“Really close,” Minho said, grabbing the few things that had survived to the flames.

Luckily, the previous night you had placed the tents and the rest of your things far from the fire and the flames hadn’t reached anything… Well, anything except for Hoseok’s things.

He had been reading by the fire during dinner, consulting the different maps and books he had. When he had gone to his tent, he had left those things forgotten by the fire and now all that was left of them was… Ashes.

And the damaged figure of what previously had been a compass.

You observed how the boy crouched on the floor and grabbed the compass. For once, his expression wasn’t impassible or cold, it was a hurt expression. But when he looked upwards, his hurt expression morphed into an angry one.

“This is your fault,” he spat, throwing what was left of his compass onto the remnants of the things the fire had turned into ashes.

You opened your mouth as if to say something. But it was, it was your fault.

“You should have guarded the fire instead of falling asleep!” he shouted.

“Hey, Hoseok, leave it alone,” Minho said.

“No! I can’t leave it alone Minho. She burnt my things! The maps, the compass! Everything! How will we continue now?! We’re lost!” Hoseok kept going. You didn’t flinch when you saw him taking some steps towards you, your chin still up. “And all because of her!”

“Hoseok, it could have happened to any of us,” Seunghoon said, trying to calm him.

Hoseok took a sharp turn and faced Seunghoon. He did flinch at the sight of Hoseok taking long strides towards him.

“Would you have fallen asleep with the fire lit?” Hoseok asked through clenched teeth, pointing at the chest of the boy with his pointer finger.

“It was an accident,” you said, speaking for the first time since the fire had disappeared.

You watched as Hoseok tensed, still facing his back towards you. His shoulders raised for a moment and then, he let out all the air he had been keeping in his lungs and his shoulders slumped once again.

You looked around you, feeling as if everyone was holding their breaths. Yong seemed to be fuming too, and Yeongsu had a disappointed look on his face. You felt regret washing over your body. You should have been more careful, humbler. Just because nothing happened the other times you had stood guard, it didn’t mean you could let yourself relax and fall asleep. What if someone had stolen from your camp? What if someone had attacked you?

You lowered your head, embarrassed. You wanted to show them what you could do, what a young girl could do. And you had been doing great, until you had lowered your guard and let yourself be over-confident in yourself.

“I will speak with you,” Yong said, pointing at you. “You, pick up your things and get on your horses. It’s nearly dawn, we’ll get going soon today.”

As you began hearing the rest walk away and starting to pick up their things, you looked at Yeongsu. He was still looking at you with that disappointed look in his eyes. He shook his head once before averting his eyes from you and walking towards his tent.

“What can we do now?” you heard Yong asking Hoseok, the boy still facing his back towards you.

“I don’t know,” you heard him say. He sounded calmer, but from his tense position, you could see he was far from being calm. “Most of the maps are… And the compass… Well, it’s all destroyed.”

Angry – at him, at the world, but mostly, at yourself – you turned around and started walking towards your things, hot tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

. . .

After Yong’s reprimand, you kept quiet the rest of the journey that day.

You ignored Seunghoon and Minho as they tried to approach you and make you laugh, and you even rejected Jinwoo’s offer of his piece of bread – which you usually never declined because you loved bread. You wanted to be left alone.

With a scowl on your face and pursed lips, you travelled at the back of the group until you arrived at the following village. There was a small inn at the outsides of the village, and you opted for staying the night there instead of setting another camp.

During dinner, you felt as if the object you had kept in the pocket of your vest weighed tons. You were about to leave your pride aside, something you weren’t specially used to.

Your leg kept bouncing up and down as you observed the rest eating their stew in silence – yours remained untouched in your plate. Why were you so nervous? Yes, the tense atmosphere that was between you all since the incident and the fact that you were about to apologise for what you had done, didn’t help your nerves. But why so nervous? You were sure they would accept your apologies without doubting it. All but Hoseok.

“Guys,” you said, clearing your throat when Seunghoon finished his last spoonful of stew. “I wanted to…” your eyes unconsciously travelled to Hoseok, who was already looking at you, that intense look in his eyes making your voice quiver and your body shift on your seat. “I wanted to say something.”

God, why did he make you so nervous?

“Go ahead,” Yong encouraged you, already knowing what you were about to say since he had been the one to suggest you did so.

“Well… Um…” you said, looking down at the table. Why was it so difficult for you to apologise? Yes, maybe you sometimes were a bit proud and arrogant – well, forget that sometimes – and maybe you had never apologised before, but why was so difficult for you to say those stupid words? Taking a deep breath, you gathered the courage you needed and looked upwards, trying to look at everyone’s eyes as you apologised to them. “I’m sorry about last night. I want to apologise because it was my fault, I thought I-I had everything under control and I… Well, I fell asleep. I should have been more careful and I should have kept an eye on the fire and-“

“No need to apologise!” Minho interrupted you, stopping you from blabbering some more, a small smile on his lips as he tried to encourage you

“Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout it,” Seunghoon smiled too. “I fell asleep once while I was on guard too, and a fox appeared in our camp and ate all our food.”

You observed how they laughed.

“I have fallen asleep while on guard plenty of times,” Jinwoo nods, taking a sip from his beer. “Nothing has ever happened, but I’m still waiting that one day I’ll get killed by a bear because of it.”

“So, you accept my apologies?” you ask once again.

“Of course we accept them,” Yong smiled, shoving your arm softly with his elbow. “I’ve also fallen asleep while on guard a couple of times…”

“Hey!” Jinwoo shouted, pointing at you with his beer. “You never told us that!”

Yong laughed as he lifted his hands up in the air in surrender.

“He was young a naïve, what can he say,” Yeongsu smiled too as he looked at his old friend. He then looked at you and sent you a small smile as he nodded in your direction. “Admitting your mistake honours you.”

“It won’t happen again,” you nodded, smiling in his direction too.

“Well,” a voice was heard. It was the first time Hoseok spoke since that morning. “Have you all forgotten that she has burnt most of the maps and my compass? Has any of you thought about how are we going to carry on from now on? About how are we going to find the monastery?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

“Boy, it was a mistake,” Yong said.

“A mistake that costed our journey,” Hoseok said through gritted teeth, piercing you with his eyes.

“It’s not the end of our journey,” you snap back at him.

“Oh, no?” he asked, feigned bewilderment in his voice. “How are we going to find the monastery with no maps and with no compass? Are you going to guide us? Using the stars maybe? Please, enlighten me.”

You clenched your teeth, wanting nothing but to shout at him what an asshole he was and throw your full bowl of stew all over his head. Instead, you took a deep breath. You had just apologised and everyone had accepted your apologise, so you weren’t going to ruin it.

“Here,” you said, taking your own silver compass from your vest and sliding it through the table towards him. “You can have it, I give it to you as an apology for destroying your own.”

He grabbed your compass momentarily, scrutinizing it with curious eyes. But the peace only lasted for a moment, because he suddenly slid his chair over the floor and stood up from it.

“I don’t want your fucking compass,” he said, sliding the object back at you. “Do you think that just because you said a few words and gave me your stupid compass I’m gonna forget all you’ve done? Well, no.”

“Hoseok…” Yong warned him.

“You shouldn’t be here in the first place, and not because you’re a woman, I’m sure women are as capable to hunt and fight as us men are. It’s because of you,” he said. You could hear the despise in his voice and you felt a pang of pain in your chest at the same time your hands clenched around your compass and your cheeks reddened. “You, your personality, your whole persona. That thing you have that you call bravery, you know what it is? Arrogance. You’re so arrogant and you think you know everything, that nothing and no one can beat you. You should be in some marble palace surrounded by servants and people who are willing to kiss the floor you walk upon, acting like the noble brat you are.”

Your heart race speeded up at his last words – noble brat. Had he found out? You were about to say something, anything, but he interrupted you.

“I won’t act as if you didn’t commit any mistake, I won’t allow you to think you’re better that any of us are. Do you wanna give lessons to someone? Go teach in some school, but don’t go around there giving life lessons to anyone. You’re just a girl who is good with the bow, nothing special, nothing else.”

When he finished his small speech, all of you were breathless. You both had argued before, yes, but it had never been like that. Your hands were trembling and your teeth were clenched with strength, and you didn’t know if the knot in your stomach was because of the tears that you were keeping at bay or because of the thousand words you wanted to say.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Hoseok continued, he rubbed his face with both hands. “It’s either her or me.”

“What are you saying, mate?” Seunghoon said, he sounded a bit startled.

“What I’m saying is that either she stays, or I stay. But if she stays, I’ll go,” he finished.

“Hoseok, think about what you’re saying,” Yeongsu said.

“I’ve thought about it. All day. Indeed, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now,” he said, not even looking at you.

You wanted to say something, but your lips wouldn’t part and your mind wouldn’t form any coherent sentence.

“You can’t just go,” Minho said.

“Then, she’ll have to leave,” Hoseok said, nodding towards you.

“We won’t let her leave,” Jinwoo frowned. His voice, usually chill and joyful, sounded serious.

“Then, I’ll go. Tomorrow morning, I’ll pack my things and return to Greyria. This was a stupid expedition anyway.”

“Hoseok, we’re all tired. We’ve had a difficult day. Why don’t you go to bed and think about it some more, huh?” Yong said. “I’m sure tomorrow morning your point of view will have changed. After all, she offered you her compass, we can use it and the rest of the maps to find the monastery.”

“Yeah,” Seunghoon nodded. “You need the money Hoseok, you can’t just go home.”

Hoseok looked at you and the rest of the men with a severe expression on his face.

“Tomorrow morning I’ll be gone, then,” he said.

“What? Hoseok…” Seunghoon tried calling after him.

“I wish you good luck with the expedition, hope you find what you’re looking for,” he said.

And with that, he turned around and left you all at the table, looking at him with dumbfounded expressions.

“I’ll go and talk to him,” Seunghoon said, trying to stand up from his chair.

Your eyes were still fixed on the place from where he had disappeared.

“No,” Yong said, stopping Seunghoon. “Leave him alone for a bit. He’s angry right now and he won’t come to his senses.”

Seunghoon sat on his chair once again.

“Don’t mind him,” Minho said, kicking your shin softly under the table so you would look at him. “He’s just angry right now. Don’t take his words seriously.”

You shook your head, as if you really weren’t going to take his words seriously. But as you lied on your small bed that night, the rough sheets making your whole body itch, you found yourself replaying his harsh words in your mind over and over again.

. . .

You woke up the following morning with a throbbing headache – you had barely been able to sleep two hours.

As you packed your things and left the bedroom, you wondered what you had been wondering the entire night: would Hoseok leave? Maybe he had already left. Maybe he was about to leave.

Slowly, you went down the stairs and entered the dining room, holding your breath.

What would you do if he was there? Ignore him? Talk to him? And what if he wasn’t there? You began getting anxious as you entered the big room, more people already chatting animatedly at the different tables.

The room of the small lodging smelled like cinnamon and apple cake, people talking at their tables and the innkeeper talking animatedly with the people from the village at the door. It was such a cozy and homely scenery, nothing compared to your boring breakfasts at the castle, always on your own and surrounded by the silence only broken by the sounds of your cutlery against the porcelain plates. You didn’t miss your home at all.

“Morning,” Jinwoo greeted you as you sat at the table next to him.

“Good morning,” you murmured.

“You look…” Jinwoo said, before shutting his mouth with a piece of bread.

“Awful?” you finished his sentence.

“I was going to say that you look tired, but if you insist…” he joked, with his mouth still full of bread and marmalade.

You grabbed a piece of bread and spread some butter over it. “Are we the only ones who are awake?”

“No,” he hummed. “I saw Yeongsu and Minho before, they were going to the stables.”

“And…” you began to say, before you stopped yourself and took a bite of your toast.

“The rest?” Jinwoo said, him being the one to finish one of your sentences now. “I think Yong is still sleeping, but I haven’t heard from Seunghoon nor Hoseok ever since last night.”

“Hmm,” you murmured absentmindedly, as if you didn’t care at all.

“You can ask me about them, you know?” he said, smiling softly at you.

“I know,” you took another bite of your toast. You weren’t even hungry, you just wanted something to distract yourself a bit with.

“Well, then, go ahead. Ask me,” he urged you when he saw you weren’t going to speak.

“I’m not gonna ask anything,” you said, too proud to ask anything about the boy who had insulted you.

“Okay, maybe you don’t need to,” Jinwoo hummed, taking the last bite of his piece of bread. “When you went to your bedroom last night, Seunghoon went to Hoseok’s room. They argued a bit and then Seunghoon went to his own bedroom. When I asked Minho this morning, he told me he convinced Hoseok to stay.”

You nearly chocked on your piece of toast.

“I know it’ll be awkward between the both of you,” Jinwoo continued as he saw your facial expression. “But this is for the best. We need him, he is the only one who can guide us to the monastery-“

“That’s if it even exists,” you murmured under your breath.

“And we need you too, you’re the only who can handle the bow,” Jinwoo kept saying, not having heard your words. “You will have to find a way of bearing him and he will have to do the same-“

“Who will have to bear who?” the voice of Seunghoon said. He plopped down on one of the chairs, immediately grabbing a piece of bread and stuffing it in his mouth.

You looked downwards as you saw Hoseok taking a seat at the table.

“I was telling Y/N that-“ Jinwoo began to say.

“I’ll go find Minho and Yeongsu, we should get going soon,” you said, interrupting Jinwoo and standing up from your chair. Without looking at them, you walked towards the door and exited the inn.

. . .

Hoseok didn’t leave the expedition, and neither did you. Both of you stayed, forced to put up with the other.

Since the fire incident, the atmosphere of the group wasn’t the same. It was strange how the tension between you and Hoseok affected the rest of the group. It was as if each time you were less than a meter away from the other, they tried to separate you in case you would start trying to kill each other.

You still spent most of your time with Yeongsu and the boys, and Hoseok still spent most of his time on his own, at the lead of the group, with one of his maps on his hands – he refused to use your compass. But still, things were different.

You could see it in the way everyone was so quiet and tense, expecting the worst, not only from you two, but from the whole situation. Summer was coming to an end, and soon, the cold weather would arrive, and days would be shorter, nights longer. The paths were becoming narrower and darker, the forests deeper and its creatures more dangerous. And you still didn’t fully know where you were going. You still didn’t know if everything had been in vain, if everything was being in vain because you didn’t know for sure if that monastery even existed.

“Let’s take a break,” Yong announces as you all spot a nice clear surrounded by deep bushes and trees that would grant you safety. “It’s been enough for today. Seunghoon, Jinwoo, set the camp. Hoseok, you will go hunting with Yeongsu. Minho, Y/N, go get wood for the fire, tonight’s gonna be a cold night. I’ll make sure the place’s safe for us to stay.”

And without another word, all of you followed Yong’s commands and dismounted your horses so you could do your tasks.

Once you were all sat around the fire, the moon and stars already shining bright above you, the clear fell silent again, only the noises of chewing and the cracks of the fire disturbing the eerie silence of the place.

You somehow felt guilty, feeling as if the tense situation was your fault – and, in a way, it was. But not entirely. You had made a mistake, and you had apologised for it, it had been Hoseok who hadn’t accepted your apologies and turned against you, insulted you and been rude to you.

He must had sensed your eyes on him, because he lifted his eyes from the piece of cooked rabbit he was holding and looked directly at you. Embarrassed, you averted your eyes from him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush on your cheeks. Why did you have to blush? You had been caught staring, so what? You were just mad at him, he was acting like a child and he had to realise it.

“I’m so tired,” Seunghoon yawned.

“Well, you’ll have to brighten up, because tonight you stand guard,” Jinwoo hummed, chewing his last piece of rabbit.

“I swear I’ll fall asleep, my eyes are closing on their own,” Seunghoon pouted.

“Huh-huh, don’t look at me boy, I stood guard last night,” Yeongsu said, ignoring the pleading look Seunghoon was throwing at him.

“Minho?” Seunghoon asked, looking at they boy that was sat on his left.

“Nope,” Minho simply said, ignoring too the pleading eyes of the older boy. “You already owe me two nights.”

Seunghoon didn’t even try with Hoseok or Yong because he knew what their answers would be.

You contemplated the scene with your lips sealed. You hadn’t stood guard since the night of the fire, and you thought that was unfair for the rest. Not knowing if they would accept or not, you proposed yourself as Seunghoon’s replacement.

“Um…” Seunghoon doubted, looking at Yong.

“I’m not tired, yesterday I went to bed early and slept well,” you assured.

They all looked at you with hesitance in their facial expressions. You would have to gain their trust once again, and if that meant staying up all night standing guard, you would do it.

“I promise,” you repeated, arching a brow while you looked at Yeongsu. You knew he couldn’t resist you.

“Okay, I don’t see a problem in it,” he ended up shrugging. You sent him a wide smile.

“And neither do I,” Seunghoon said eagerly. “I’m tired, she’s not.”

Yong, who wanted to show you that he trusted you but also didn’t want to upset Hoseok, found himself in a dilemma. Nevertheless, when he looked at you and you were looking at him with those pleading eyes, he just couldn’t…

“Alright then, I don’t see a problem in it either, so Y/N will stand guard tonight,” he said, nodding towards you.

You nodded back. You were going to show them what you could do.

You didn’t even need to look towards Hoseok to know that he would be looking at you, with that impassible look on his face, and those menacing eyes.

“I’ll go to sleep now, I’m so tired,” Yong said, standing up and stretching his limbs. “Goodnight.”

“I’ll be going too,” Yeongsu said.

They all stood up and started walking towards their respective tents or sleeping bags.

“Hey,” Seunghoon said, approaching you from behind and giving you an awkward pat on the shoulder. “I owe you one.”

“That’s what he always says!” you heard the voice of Minho.

You laughed softly. “I don’t trust your ‘I owe you ones’ anymore. But don’t worry, I don’t mind.”

He said goodbye before running – towards Minho’s tent to punch him in the face, you assumed.

One you were starting to get comfortable and adjusting the blankets around you for a long, sleepless night, you heard one of the tents opening.

You looked up to see Hoseok stepping out of his tent with some blankets, a candle and some maps.

Without saying a word, he sat opposite you, at the other side of the fire.

You observed him with your eyes and mouth wide. How could he be so infuriating? You let some minutes pass by until you couldn’t stand his presence anymore and opened your mouth.

“You don’t trust me enough to keep you all safe or what?” you asked, not being able to contain yourself.

He didn’t even lift his eyes from one of his maps when he heard your voice, he simply ignored you.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, answer me,” you said, gritting your teeth as your voice got a bit louder.

He shrugged and then, threw you a quick glance. “No.”

No what?! No to answering you… No to trusting you… That boy was surely, surely, infuriating.

You took a deep breath. You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind. Or that was what you kept repeating yourself.

You wanted to keep your mouth shut, but for some reason you were bored, and looking at him so engrossed with his maps made you feel bitter.

“Why don’t you accept my compass?” you asked, smirking a bit when you saw him sigh. He always got annoyed when someone interrupted him during one of his researches. “Hmm?”

“Because I don’t need it,” he answered, knowing that you wouldn’t stop with the hmms and the questions until he answered you.

“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed. “And what magic map of yours will lead us to the monastery, Mr. I-Am-A-Compass-Myself?”

He threw you a glare, biting his tongue to not start shouting there and then.

“Well, I don’t know, since you burnt my only compass,” he smiled bitterly at you, returning his attention to his map once again.

“You can use mine,” you repeated.

“But I don’t want to,” he bitted back.

“Why not? Are you too proud to accept someone else’s help?” you scoffed once again. You knew you were the one who was starting the argument now, but something in you pushed you to it.

You observed how his jaw tensed, the fire casting sharp shadows all over his face.

“No, it’s because I refuse to use the compass of a rich, brat girl,” he said in a cold tone.

You stood there frozen for a moment. Again with the brat, noble or rich thing. Was he implying something?

“Excuse me? Why do you think I’m a rich girl?” you asked, your voice still stern and angry, but a bit shaky.

He scoffed and closed his map so he could look at you. “Well, first of all, a common girl, a simple villager, doesn’t have a silver compass like yours-“

“Well, you had a compass too and you’re just the son of the baker,” you spat, missing the way he flinched a bit at your harsh words.

“That leads me to my second point. You treat everyone as if they’re ten feet under you, as if they’re inferior than you, not worthy of your precious time-“

“That’s not true,” you interrupted him, frowning.

“Don’t interrupt me,” he continued. “We have to do everything you say and want. If you say we should stop, we stop, if you say we should camp there, we camp there. And you’re not even surprised when everyone obeys you, like, you’re used to it, right?”

That was mostly true. In a way, you had been giving orders most of your life, and you were so used to people obeying you and doing as you said, that it wasn’t even strange to you that five men you barely know did everything you said without complaining. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t stand Hoseok, because he, unlike the others, never obeyed you and was always against what you said. Maybe that’s why you found him so interesting.

“I didn’t oblige them to do anything,” you said, stubborn as always.

“Of course you didn’t, you’re so authoritarian you don’t even need to oblige anyone. It’s something about you, the way you say things or the way you act, that makes everyone do as you say,” he was looking at you with such an intensity, that you had to look down a bit. “A common girl doesn’t have that ability.”

“And what are you implying? That I’m rich? Noble?” you said, trying to act as if his words weren’t hitting home.

If he found out you were the Princess of Greyria… What would he do? What would happen to you?

“I’m not implying anything, I’m straightforward telling you. I’ve spent too many nights at thecastle’s kitchen as if to not recognise a little noble girl as you,” he scoffed.

“Well, if you’re so sure of it why didn’t you tell Yong?”

“Do you think he’s stupid? We all know you’re just a rich little girl,” he shrugged, opening one of his maps once again as if he was concluding the conversation.

“If you all knew I was a rich little girl all this time, why haven’t you kicked me out? Aren’t noble girls forbidden from this type of things?”

“Huh?” he asked. “Aren’t all women forbidden from this type of things?”

You were trying not to raise your voice, but it was impossible when he was infuriating you that much.

“Ugh,” you mumbled under your breath. In that moment, you wished you didn’t have to stand guard that night, because in that case, you would have been able to run away from that place and from Hoseok.

“Do you really think they let you stay because you’re good with the bow?” he asked, making you snap your head towards him. His voice had a dangerous tone to it. “Of course you think so. Well, I’m sorry to announce you that it wasn’t your ability with the bow that convinced Yong. Your horse, your clothes and most of the things you keep in that bag of yours probably cost more than his entire life, of course he didn’t let you stay just because of your ability with the bow.”

You felt a pang of pain in your chest.

“Not everyone’s as simple as you. There are people in this world that look further from the appearance or material things.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of it, but I’m afraid you aren’t surrounded by any of those people,” he said, smiling coyly.

You started feeling uneasy. He didn’t know you were the Princess of Greyria, you were sure if that had been the case, he would have already thrown it in your face. No. You were feeling uneasy because Hoseok’s words were hurting you too much, to the point you wanted to cry. He shouldn’t have had that effect on you, that much power over you that he could hurt you with just a few words. But he somehow had, and you found yourself swallowing your tears and keeping your chin up just the way you had been taught to ever since you were a little girl.

“Don’t cry in front of anyone, not in front of me, not in front of the maids... Crying is a sign of weakness and if you are going to be Queen one day, you can’t show anyone your weakness. So lift your chin up and swallow your tears,” your father told you.

You remember that day. You had been playing on the gardens of the castle when you fell onto a rose bush. Its thorns pierced your soft skin and you could see blood starting to pour from under the thorns. Your father found you there and wiped away the tears from your cheeks rather harshly, saying those words as he did so. That day, you couldn’t understand how crying because you were in pain was showing your weakness. Now, you do, you understand.

“Wake up, you’re not in your mansion anymore and life outside its marble walls is harsh. You must face it,” he said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You composed yourself and glared at him.

“Why are you so bitter, baker?” you asked, knowing that calling him “baker” would offend him.

“Because this expedition was already dangerous in the first place, we are searching for something we don’t even know and we’ll have to cross places no one has ever dared crossing. And now, because of the caprice of some noble girl who was probably too bored of balls and pastries and fancy dresses and sleeping in between silk sheets, it’s even more dangerous,” he spat.

“You know nothing about me or my life, so don’t you dare…” you said through clenched teeth.

“What? Insult you?” he mocked. “Am I the first one to do so, or what?”

You were about to answer him that you had dealt with more insults than he could ever utter in his entire life, when you caught a movement from the corner of your eye.

You tensed up, turning your head in the direction of the movements. Hoseok was saying something, but you couldn’t even bother in paying attention to what he was saying.

“I heard something…” you muttered.

“Yeah, you heard me,” he scoffed.

“No,” you said, standing up and instinctively grabbing your bow.

“What are you fucking doing?” Hoseok said, looking at you with furrowed brows.

“I saw something behind that bush,” you said, pointing towards the darkness.

The fire casted shadows all over the place, making it look as if the forest was alive. As you were about to give up, you saw it again. It was faint, but it was there. The bush moved another time, and then you heard a rustling sound.

“If you’re trying to scare me or something, good luck,” Hoseok said, lying on the ground comfortably.

You narrowed your eyes, taking some small steps towards the bush while you charged your bow. A shiver run down your spine when another sound was heard, this time closer than before.

“Hoseok I think-“ you began to say, but you never got to finish as a black figure emerged from the darkness.

Immediately, you shot the arrow you had charged in your bow, not even looking if you had hit the black figure or not.

You heard a strangled cry as you turned around, running away from the enormous creature and towards Hoseok, who was standing from the ground hastily.

“Wake up!” you started screaming as you ran towards the tents to wake everyone up. “WAKE UP!”

Seunghoon was the first one to wake up, and as soon as he saw the immense creature, he grabbed his axe.

“Yeonsu! Yong!” you called as you opened their tents. “We’re being attacked!”

You heard Hoseok shouting something to Seunghoon. “Mino! Jinwoo!”

The two boys looked at you with sleepy eyes.

“Y/N, what do you…?” Jinwoo began to say, but as soon as his eyes found the scene that was going on behind you, he shut up. “Oh my God.”

“Grab your weapons and pack your things! We’re leaving!” you heard Yong screaming somewhere.

You ran towards your horse, who was neighing at the sight of the enormous creature.

“Shh, calm down,” you tried to calm him, but he only neighed more and tried to break free from your grip.

Taking a moment, you glanced briefly behind your shoulder, the sight leaving you as breathless as your horse was.

In the middle of the camp, Hoseok, Yeongsu and Seunghoon were fighting against a creature you had never seen before. Its head was huge, big black eyes and round snout. Two big horns emerged from in between its ears. And despite having the head of an enormous bull, its body had the shape of a male’s body, with two long, muscled arms covered in a thick layer of brown fur and two robust legs that ended in the shape of hoofs. In its eyes, you could see hunger, and each time it opened his mouth, saliva poured from it.

You had only heard about Minotaurs in the stories the old priest used to tell you when you were little, and you had never believed they existed until that very moment.

“Y/N!” you heard Yong calling your name. “Shot it! Point at its head!”

You snapped out of your thoughts and climbed on top of your horse. The animal tried to run away and get rid of you, but you pulled from the reins and obliged him.

Trying not to fall onto the ground, you charged your bow once again. As you calmed your breath, you raised your bow and pointed at the Minotaur’s head.

Hoseok was trying to wound one of his legs with his sword, but the Minotaur was avoiding his movements as it tried to hit him with its mallet.

It probably measured three metres, and because of that, you almost had to lean all the way back over your horse to shoot at it.

Without thinking twice, you let go of the bowstring and the arrow flied across the air and landed on the back of the Minotaur’s neck.

The creature let out a loud growl and angrily turned towards you, anger visible in its black eyes.

You charged your bow once again and shot a third arrow at him. This time, it pierced through the skin in his right arm and made blood pour from the Minotaur’s flesh.

“Get on your horses!” Yong kept shouting as, he too, shot arrows at the Minotaur.

You grabbed your bag from the ground, leaving some of your things behind. Jinwoo and Seunghoon had already mounted on their horses and were trying to leave as they tried to wound the Minotaur.

“Hoseok!” Yong shouted.

You looked in the direction of the boy as you shot another arrow at the Minotaur. Stubborn as always, Hoseok was still trying to wound the creature’s leg.

“Hoseok, get on your horse and run away!” Yeongsu shouted as he, himself, climbed on his horse. “We can’t defeat it, we can just run!”

“Run! I’ll catch you!” Hoseok screamed, delivering a harsh blow against the Minotaur’s leg.

The Minotaur cried in pain and looked at Hoseok while trying to hit him with his other leg.

“GO!” Yong urged you all.

You spurred on your horse and encircled the Minotaur, shooting another arrow at it. As the arrow pierced the skin of the Minotaur’s back, it turned around once again to look at you and run towards you.

“Oh, shit,” you murmured.

Hurriedly, you made your horse run in the opposite direction and charged your bow as fast as you can.

“Run! We’ll meet in the nearest village!” Yeongsu shouted as he run away with Yong and Minho.

Your sixth arrow landed on the Minotaur’s arm, the arm that was holding the mallet. In pain, the creature stumbled and, in the process, hit Hoseok with its mallet.

The boy fell onto the floor with a strangled cry.

“Hoseok!” you screamed, spurring on your horse and running towards the boy.

You should be running away from that forest and towards the nearest village just like the rest, but instead ran towards Hoseok to save his stubborn ass.

“Climb on my horse!” you screamed while shooting the Minotaur again and trying to avoid his blows.

Hoseok stood from the ground clenching his teeth and holding his arm, pain written all over his features.

“Come on!” you screamed, trying to keep your horse in place while Hoseok mounted.

Once you were both on top of your horse, you spurred the animal on and shot another arrow. It didn’t hit the Minotaur but distracted it a bit.

“Hold on tight!” you ordered him, spurring your horse one last time and running away from the Minotaur.

Hoseok’s horse had long disappeared, and most of his things stayed behind just like the tents and some sleeping bags.

The Minotaur ran after you, but because he was bigger, he was also slower and it was difficult for it to dodge the trees and bushes.

You could hear Hoseok’s erratic breaths behind you, and you could feel his body slumping against your back.

“Hoseok,” you called him, but there was no answer. You cursed under your breath and held his body with one arm while you held the reins with the other.

Somehow, you found a stone path and made your horse follow it. You were faster than the Minotaur and soon, you lost it. But you kept running, even when the sun was starting to shine in the sky.

Finally, a small village came into view.

You guessed it was the village where the rest would be, since it was the first village you had seen in miles.

There was a small tavern in the centre of the village. There were already five horses drinking water from a barrel, five horses you recognised. Making your horse stop, you dismounted carefully so Hoseok wouldn’t fall onto the ground.

As soon as the rest heard you arrive, they walked out of the tavern.

“You’re both here!” Jinwoo exclaimed. “We were starting to get worried.”

“Are you okay?” Yeongsu asked, examining you.

“Yeah,” you answered, a bit breathless, still not being able to process everything that had happened.

“Hoseok?” Minho called the boy that was unconscious on top of your horse.

“I think he blacked out from the pain,” you said. “The creature hit him, and I think it dislocated his left arm.”

“Nothing that can’t be solved,” Yong nodded. “Did you grab the maps?”

“Hoseok did,” you said, pointing at the boy’s pockets.

Yong nodded once again and told Minho and Seunghoon to grab Hoseok and bring him inside.

Once you were inside, a mug of hot tea in hand, you let yourself think about what had happened. The atmosphere of the tavern, wasn’t the typical “tavern atmosphere”. No one was chatting loudly, no one was laughing. You couldn’t smell the scent of beer and bread. Only two more men were in the tavern, one eating in silence and the other looking absentmindedly at the window.

“This place gives me chills,” you whispered.

“Yeah, it’s too empty,” Minho whispered back. “Have you seen the bartender? He hasn’t stopped looking at us even for a second. I swear he hasn’t even blinked.”

You looked behind you at the bartender, an old man with a long, brown beard. And yes, he was looking at you and the rest of your group as he cleaned some plates.

You looked at Minho once again, readjusting yourself on the chair.

“This is so odd,” you mumbled, taking a sip from your mug with hesitance.

Yong took a seat on the chair in front of you, placing his mug of hot chocolate on the table. He looked tired.

“How’s Hoseok?” Seunghoon asked.

“Good,” Yong said. His voice sounded as tired as his face seemed. “I placed his shoulder back on and he lost conscious once again. Now he’s sleeping but he doesn’t have fever anymore.”

“When are we going to resume the march?” Jinwoo asked.

“When Hoseok rests some more,” Yong sighed. “He doesn’t have a horse now, so we’ll have to find a way for him to travel without having to walk.”

There was a silence that filled the room for some minutes, each one of you, thinking about what had happened.

“Aren’t we going to talk about the fact that we saw a fucking gigantic bull?” Seunghoon said suddenly, breaking the silence and making you all snap your heads towards him.

“Shh, boy,” Yeongsu said. “We don’t want anyone overhearing us.”

“Sorry, but, what was that?” Seunghoon apologised, this time lowering his voice.

“It was a Minotaur,” you said.

They all looked at you as if you were crazy.

“Have you never heard about Minotaurs?” you frowned.

“I’ve heard of them, but they are mythical creatures. They don’t exist,” Yong said.

“Well, then, what attacked us last night? An abnormally big bull with the body of a man?” you asked sarcastically. “I was a Minotaur. I didn’t even believe they existed until… Until last night.”

“And what was a Minotaur doing in some random forest?” Jinwoo asked.

“I don’t think it was some random forest,” Yeongsu said. “Have you not seen how strange its trees were? How tall and ancient? It wasn’t a common forest.”

“And what was it then?” Minho asked.

“I think it was the Autumn forest,” you murmur.

“What?” Seunghoon and Jinwoo exclaimed at the same time.

“Didn’t you tell them the story?” you asked to Yong and Yeongsu.

Both men shrugged, and you narrowed your eyes at them. They had allowed four boys to follow them without telling them what they were following them for?

When you saw no one would speak, you started telling the story about the monastery and the three different seasons that surrounded it.

“But how is it possible? I mean, Summer has ended and now we’re in Autumn, that’s why the trees were darker and there were no flowers,” Minho said.

“Yeah, that’s why we thought it was a common forest, but it wasn’t. Minotaurs don’t live in common forest,” you said.

“Why did he attack us?” Seunghoon asked.

“Minotaurs are dangerous, they are territorial and hostile and don’t like people invading their home,” Yeongsu said. “They are guardians, they keep something.”

“It was keeping us from finding the monastery,” you added.

“So… If creatures like that are keeping the monastery… How are we going to find it?” Jinwoo asked.

“That’s the question,” Yong said. “We’ll have to follow the paths. It will take us more time and we’ll risk being attacked by robbers, but at least we know how to fight robbers.”

“Yeah, we found a Minotaur but we don’t know what other creatures live in those forests,” Yeongsu said.

“So, we’ll continue the expedition?” Seunghoon asked.

“Of course, when we signed up for this, we already knew what dangers we might face,” Yeongsu said in a serious voice.

“I had heard about this kind of creatures! But I never thought they existed,” Minho said, lowering his voice as the sentence came to its end.

“It was a risk we all were willing to take for some money, boy,” Yeongsu’s voice was stern as his eyes landed on the boy. It wasn’t time for arguments, the group needed to be strong and hold together.

As the tea ran cold inside your mug, you thought about how selfish you had been since the beginning. All those men had a family, someone they were willing to come back to. They all had signed up for that expedition so they could earn some money, so they could feed their families… So they could live. And you? You had signed up for that expedition because of some notebook you didn’t even know if it existed, putting at risk not only your life, but your family’s honour too. You had simply ran away, not thinking about anyone but yourself as always. You didn’t think about the image it would give your father, your family, your kingdom, and you had run away with some coins in your pockets and your best bow and arrows.

Maybe Hoseok had always been right, and you were nothing but a selfish little girl, capricious and arrogant, who only cared about her and not about how her options would affect the rest.

You stayed in that village for three more days in an inn not far from the tavern you had found the first day. It was as sinister as you had thought it was the first time you stepped a foot in it. Its atmosphere was just… So silent and tranquil, it gave you chill.

A thin layer of mist always covered the small village. Its trees were naked, a pile of orange and brown leaves underneath them. The water of its fountain was a dark green colour, and all you could smell in the air was sulphur.

It wasn’t until the second day that Hoseok stood from bed and went to eat with you. The food of the tavern wasn’t especially succulent or tasty, but it was food, and you all ate it anyway.

You were about to stuff a spoonful of bread soup in your mouth when you saw him appear. You hadn’t seen him since the day you had arrived to that village.

He looked pale and tired, his dark hair sticking to his forehead. You tensed at the sight of him, not knowing how to react, or how he would react. So you simply observed how the rest of the group asked him how was he feeling and if his arm was completely healed. You caught him looking at you out of the corner of your eye.

The rest of the day went by peacefully. You went to take a walk around the village and sat on some bench to read a bit. Time passed by slowly, but you didn’t mind.

After dinner, when everyone was going to their own bedroom, you stayed a bit outside to contemplate the beautiful starry sky. You had always loved stars. You guessed it ran through your veins, for your grandfather had been a huge lover of them. You still remember him, sitting in the gardens of the castle with that telescope of his as he observed the night sky when you were barely a kid.

Your eyes were searching in the darkness for the small dots of light when you heard footsteps.

“Hey,” a male voice said from behind you.

You didn’t even need to look behind you to know who he was.

Hoseok slowly walked until he was sitting on the grass by your side, both of your backs resting on the stone of the old well that was near the inn.

Silence surrounded you both as you kept staring at the stars. You tried to keep your mind blank, but it was impossible when he was sitting that close to you. What did he want? Why was he there for?

“I…” he began to say suddenly. He tried starting his sentence once again, and when he failed, he sighed in defeat. “I just wanted to thank you.”

You nodded. He didn’t have anything to thank you for, but you still nodded.

“You could have just run away and left me there, you all told me to mount on my horse and go away and I still… I acted recklessly, and I put us both in danger,” he kept saying.

You frowned. “We are a team, no one can be left behind. You would have done the same,” you shrugged.

“Yong and the rest disappeared without giving me a second look, but you didn’t.”

“So much for a little brat, noble girl,” you scoffed.

Hoseok’s eyes widened as he looked at your side profile, your eyes still lost in the sky. “I…” he hesitated.

For the first time, you averted your eyes from the sky and looked at him. He still looked tired, but there, under the moonlight, he looked beautiful. All sharp eyes and sharp features.

“I get it Hoseok, I do. I grew up in between silk sheets and ate on a silver plate and all that shit, I never had to work hard to earn money and I never went to bed wondering if I would even be able to eat anything the next day. But that doesn’t mean my life was easy, and that doesn’t mean you can judge me just for my social status, you still don’t know me,” you said, your voice nearly breaking at the end.

Maybe you hadn’t grown up afraid of hunger and cold, but your life hadn’t been easy either. The life of a Princess had never been easy, not when you had to do what everyone was expecting you to do, when you had to be someone you weren’t. Faking smiles here and there, hearing low whispers of how your dress or hair looked when you entered a room, not having privacy – being surrounded all day by maids or guards. A Princess should not have ideas of her own, should not have further knowledge than poetry or how to sew a beautiful cloth. A Princess should not decide her own future, she should not even decide what colour her dress would be for the next ball. A Princess, should not obey her own heart, she should not love or choose not to love.

But you couldn’t tell all that to Hoseok. Maybe he wasn’t rich, maybe he went to sleep every night afraid he would wake up and have nothing the next day. But he had the most important thing of all: freedom. He was free to act as he wanted, wear what he wanted, learn what he wanted – or at least what his status allowed him to. He was free to love whoever he wanted.

“You know nothing about me,” you said between gritted teeth.

He blinked a few times as if he was surprised, as if he was looking – really looking – at you for the first time ever.

“I know,” he said. He knew? You looked at him in a stern way. “I mean, I know I was unfair to you, I judged you without knowing anything about you.”

“You did.”

“And I wanted to apologise for that,” he said after a brief silence.

You arched a brow. “Apologise? Now? All of the sudden? You don’t have to feel the need to apologise just because I didn’t leave you behind the other day, I already told you, we’re a team and-“

“No, no,” he interrupted you. “I… Well, maybe that made me realise how unfair I’d been to you, yeah. But I’ve been feeling guilty for a while now ever since you burnt my… Well, ever since the night of the fire.”

“So you’re apologising to me because you don’t wanna feel guilty anymore,” you said out loud as if you were resuming everything he had told you.

“Shit, no,” he said. “Well, maybe. But not like that… I just don’t know, okay? It’s complicated.”

“It’s not, you are the one who makes it complicated,” you added. “Apologising is not complicated when you really mean it. If you don’t mean your apology, I don’t want it.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Look, I come from a humble family. My father bakes bread, my mother bakes bread, and I’ve baked bread all my life. That’s everything I’ve done, everything I’ve known. I didn’t get the chance to learn how to write, how to read something that wasn’t a map… I didn’t get any chances, just the ones I got when I was born. I remember getting an invitation from the castle on day when I was thirteen, the King wanted my father and I to serve at her daughter’s ninth birthday – we were the only bakery in the village after all, and we knew how to make cakes better than their professional chefs did. I spent the entire week thinking about how the castle would be, how the people would dress, how their music would sound coming from the finest violins and pianos,” he paused for a moment to regain his breath. “I’ve never felt more humiliated in my life. People didn’t even look at me as I served them, if I even talked to them, they would look at me as if I was a mere speck of dust on their expensive dress that they desperately needed to brush away. And when the Princess herself spit the cake my father and I had made for her because she didn’t like the taste of strawberries, I wanted to cry. And I did, that night when I arrived home I cried, I felt like nothing, I felt lost. I went to more parties after that first one. Some at the castle, some at the mansions of rich nobles, counts… And no one, at any of those parties, has ever shown a bit of respect towards me, has treated me as a human being.”

You observed him, his eyes lost in the horizon as he spoke. Your heart shrank a bit. You didn’t remember him, you didn’t even remember his cake or your ninth birthday party at all, too engrossed in the presents you would get or in escaping from that party and going to your secret place in the stables. But somehow, you understood him. You had been at one of those parties and felt as if you were nothing too, not because people didn’t pay any attention to you, but because they only paid attention to you because you were the Princess of Greyria. They didn’t care for your answer when they asked you how you were feeling, if you were enjoying the party, for they only cared for what dress you were wearing, who had made it, and if you had started thinking about marrying some prince or noble boy.

“As I grew older I learnt how to deal with it just like my father had, and the only way of dealing with something like that is despising the ones who made you feel like shit. Serving them is easy, you know? You put on your best clothes, a fake smile and put up with the comments and the glares. And when you arrive home, you laugh at them and their simple and unhappy lives with your loved ones,” he shrugged. “I guess I just learnt how to despise every noble, count or rich to protect myself from the pain they caused me, and I guess that’s why I despised you before even getting to know you. Just because you were one of them.”

You thought about telling him that he wasn’t any better than you just because he wasn’t rich or because he hadn’t had an “easy life” – if you could call your life easy. That being a baker didn’t give him the right to judge anyone, nor even you. But you had seen the pain on his features as he had told you his story, you had heard the pain behind those words, behind each syllable.

“I don’t blame you,” you ended up saying. “Who better than me to know that all those nobles, and rich girls and princes and princesses, are nothing but snakes?”

Hoseok looked at you with surprise in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you scoffed. “I’ve been to plenty more balls than you and I can assure you that they are boring as hell and that people only go there to brag about their money, their dresses or what prince their daughters are getting married with.”

Hoseok let out a small laugh.

“Are you surprised I think like that?” you asked, frowning a bit because you didn’t understand why Hoseok was laughing.

“To be honest, no,” he said.

“Why? Do I seem like a pompous girl?” you asked, a bit offended he had thought that way of you.

“No, of course not. A pompous girl wouldn’t go on that expedition like this and risk her life for…” he suddenly came to a stop as if he was thinking about something. “For what are you even in this expedition? It’s obvious that not for the money.”

Should you tell him about the notebooks? Should you tell him you were risking your life for a notebook you didn’t even know if it existed? There were three options. One, he believed you and helped you find it, which was the most improbable one. Two, he didn’t believe you or the things the notebook said and thought you were crazy. Or three, that he believed there was a notebook, that he believed you, but thought you were even more selfish than he already thought you were because you were risking your life for some stupid pieces of paper. The last one was the most probable one.

“I wanted to explore the world a bit, do something outside those horrible four walls that I should call home,” you shrugged, lying, but not fully-lying at the same time.

“So you joined this specific expedition?”

You shrugged once again. “It was the first I found? I know it sounds dumb and crazy, and selfish too, a girl like me risking her life and the lives of the people that surround her just because she wants some adventure in her life.”

“It does sound dumb and crazy, and maybe you are a little bit selfish by doing what you’re doing…” he said. You were about to tell him that he wasn’t exactly helping you with those words, when he spoke again. “But I understand you, I get why you did it. I guess… I guess I would have done the same. Indeed, I kind of did the same.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yeah… My parents didn’t want me to come, but we’re having a difficult time because of the floods that happened during spring and we need the money… But of course, the money is just an excuse. My dream isn’t being a baker all my life, you know? I would like to travel, explore… And this is a way of doing it, even if I put my life at risk,” he said.

“This is a good opportunity,” you nodded.

“Exactly,” he nodded too.

“Let my ask you one thing.”

“Sure,” he said.

“How is it that you’re so good at tracking? I mean…” you hesitated at the end.

“How is it that the son of a baker knows how to read maps and track?” he laughed. “Well, my uncle is a huge lover of hunting and he brought me with him ever since I was a little kid. When I wasn’t at the bakery, I was at the fields, or at the forest, interpreting tracks, getting to know the forest and its nature. And when I grew older, I spent the few money I earned in some maps so I could read and follow them.”

“And let me guess,” you said, cringing a bit. “Your uncle gave you the compass that got burnt by the fire.”

Hoseok let out another laugh. “No, I bought it with my own money indeed. I saw it one day at the market and I saved for months to buy it.”

“That’s worst!” you groaned, wanting to face-palm yourself.

“It isn’t. It was only a compass, it didn’t hold that much of a meaning to me. And the fire incident… Well, it could have happened to any of us,” he said, sending you a soft smile that sent a thousand butterflies flying across your stomach. “I was way too hard on you, I apologise for that too.”

You shook your head. “Are you ill or something? Do you still have fever?” you said, examining his face in search of something that could tell you he was just being delirious.

“No, I’m fine,” he laughed again. “I really am apologising. I don’t think I was fair to you, that’s all.”

“You aren’t the same Hoseok, that Minotaur really hit you hard with his mallet,” you said, eyes wide.

“I didn’t know you had some sense of humour,” he laughed once again, and you swore you had never heard a sound so beautiful. It was so pure you wondered how it was that you had survived all your life without hearing a laugh like his.

“I told you, Jung Hoseok, you don’t know me at all,” you said, a small smile drawing itself across your face.

“You even know my last name, woah,” he joked. “Hey, I know how I can start knowing you better.”

You frowned. “How?”

“Let’s just act as if we didn’t know each other and let’s introduce each other as if it was the first time we met,” he said, a satisfied smile on his face.

“What?”

“Hey, I’m Hoseok, nice to meet you,” he smiled, holding out his hand for you to shake it.

You frowned once again and looked at the hand that was patiently waiting for yours. Then, you looked at his eyes. He didn’t look like a serious twenty-four-year-old boy anymore, instead, he looked like a kid, with his beaming smile and sparkling eyes.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you too,” you answered, shaking his hand with your own.

. . .

Autumn had fully arrived.

The paths you followed were covered in dark orange leaves, the trees that weren’t naked, dressed in bright browns and reds.

Mornings were cold, days were cold even when the sun was shining in the sky, and nights were even colder.

But you guessed they all seemed warmer because of Hoseok. His presence was like a calming balm to you, one that you didn’t know you needed until then, his laugh was music to your ears, and his friendship, the best thing that had ever happened to you.

Even though you both came from opposite worlds and had different lifestyles, you both understood each other like no one had before. You could speak about everything with him, joke with him without him getting offended by your sense of humour, you could even tell him your obsession with stories and myths… And he wouldn’t judge you. You had never felt a bond so strong with anyone.

Standing guard at night was more entertaining when he was there, going hunting was easier when it was by his side, taking walks around the forest to explore wasn’t as lonelier if it was with him.

And by the end of Autumn, when Winter was just around the corner, you and Hoseok had become inseparables.

You, of course, still argued about which path you had to take or in which inn you would stay, but everything was solved after a couple of jokes and laughs.

“This inn is cheaper,” he had said one morning as you had arrived to a new village.

If Hoseok was leading you through the right paths, the place where the monastery was supposed to be, shouldn’t be far from the village you were staying at. You had already arrived to the Winter Kingdom, and all of you could feel the atmosphere of the place was different, different from anything you had previously felt. It was magical, a bit eerie, just like the stories described it.

“Yeah, but have you seen the beds? It’s better sleeping on the floor than in any of those beds,” you had argued, scrunching up your nose in disgust.

“Oh, excuse me Miss. I Have a Sack Full of Gold Coins, I didn’t know that,” he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, trying to act annoyed. But you couldn’t stay that way for too long, not when he was always inventing all those stupid names.

“You sure are a genius, Hoseok,” you laughed. “Me, as Miss. I Have a Sack Full of Gold Coins, demand we choose the other inn to stay the night.”

Hoseok couldn’t help but burst into laughs too, and so, you ended up staying the night at the inn you had chosen. It had way better beds and food, and you payed the price difference anyway.

. . .

The inn was full that cold November night.

Everyone was trying to brush away the cold by drinking whiskey or beer. You weren’t a huge fan of alcohol, and since you never drank, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of anyone by doing something drunk-stupid. Taking a small sip from your hot chocolate, you rolled your eyes at something Seunghoon had said.

“Hens don’t fly, you idiot!” you laughed.

“But I saw it! I swear, and she took the money I had made that day!” he pouted.

As everyone at the table laughed, Seunghoon took a long sip from his beer and finished it.

“I want another!” he said, letting the mug on the table with a loud ‘thud’.

On a nearby table, some men where arm wrestling and shouting like crazy. Others were playing cards and others were simply drinking and talking like you were doing. For the first time in weeks you had finally come across a village that wasn’t deserted and dead, and you couldn’t be more thankful for that.

“I don’t think you should drink any more, boy,” Yeongsu stopped him from ordering another beer.

“Ey!” Seunghoon complained when Mino grabbed him by the shoulders and made him stand up.

“You’ll thank me tomorrow,” Mino said, starting to lead Seunghoon towards the stairs that led upstairs. Though, when he nearly tripped and fell backwards you observed he wasn’t in any better condition than Seunghoon.

“Go to sleep, guys,” you said.

“Why haven’t you drunk?” Hoseok asked you. He was slumped on the chair right in front of yours, his beer in hand.

“Again?” you scoffed. He had asked you the same thing three times with that. “I don’t like alcohol.”

“Why?” he pouted, drinking some more. “Boring.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was just being his drunk self.

“Well guys, I’m gonna go to my room too. I’m too old for this kind of things…” Yong said, standing up from his chair while slurring his words.

“Me too,” Yeongsu sighed.

Jinwoo followed them and they all said goodbye to you and Hoseok.

“Well, we’re alone now,” he said, finishing his beer without tearing his eyes away from you.

“Yep,” you said.

He kept staring at you until you couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What?” you asked, arching a brow.

“What, what?”

“What are you looking at?”

“At you,” he simply said.

“I know that, but what at you looking at. My face? I have something on it?” you asked, touching your face with your right hand in search of something.

“No,” he shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest. “Just staring at your face. Why, you don’t like it?”

“I don’t care, but if you look at me without even blinking for an entire minute, yeah, I don’t like it. It’s creepy and it makes me feel uncomfortable,” you ended up confessing.

“Good,” was what he said, and then, he just kept staring at you.

You scoffed. “Stop looking at me like that!”

You took a last sip from your hot chocolate to distract yourself from his piercing eyes.

“You’re really beautiful,” he said all of the sudden, making you gasp and almost choke on the hot chocolate.

“Excuse me?”

“I think you’re really beautiful, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he repeated, louder in case you hadn’t heard him through the noise of the room. “That’s why I was staring.”

You felt your cheeks reddening, burning. You shied away and avoided his eyes at all costs.

“Hoseok, you’re drunk, you don’t even know what you’re saying,” you murmured as you stood up, trying to hide the blush on your face putting your hair all over it.

“I’m not,” he answered, bringing a hand to his chest as if he was offended by your comment. “What kind of a man would I be if I got drunk just because of three beers?”

“A normal one,” you said, pulling from one of his arms to make him stand up from his chair.

“That’s why you didn’t drink?” he asked, letting you do whatever you wanted with him.

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t drink because you didn’t want to get drunk and let yourself free.”

You kept pulling from his arm, leading him across the room and towards the stairs.

“No, hot chocolate always sets me free,” you joked.

He laughed at your stupid comment and you both went upstairs. The corridor was empty and quiet, only some snores could be heard. Seunghoon as usual, you supposed.

Hoseok insisted that he should take you to your room, and since he started making all those weird noises he always made when he was extremely happy and you didn’t want to wake everyone up, you ended up giving in.

“But only if you promise to go straight to your room afterwards, don’t go downstairs to drink again.”

“I promise,” he said.

So there you were now, in front of the door to your room, laughing at Seunghoon’s snores.

“He sounds like a beached whale,” he laughed.

“Have you ever heard how a beached whale sounds like?”

“Nope,” he shrugged. “But every time I think about a beached whale, Seunghoon snoring comes to my mind.”

You laughed again, placing a hand over your mouth so you wouldn’t wake anyone with your laughs. When you opened your eyes from laughing, you realised how close Hoseok was from you. So close you could even feel his breath over the hand that was covering your mouth.

Somehow, the laughs died away, and you stared at each other in silence.

You felt Hoseok’s hand brushing against yours and taking it away from your face. Then, his eyes landed on your lips.

You held your breath as you observed him closing the distance between you both.

Your mind was racing, your heart was beating fast, your breaths became erratic, and suddenly you couldn’t think about anything that wasn’t how close he was from you, how dark his eyes seemed, how kissable his lips looked… How beautiful he was and how much you loved him.

Hoseok closed the space between you both and placed his lips on top of yours. He stayed there, just touching your lips with his, as if he was waiting for a reaction for your part.

When he saw that you weren’t going to back away and reject him, he lifted both of his hands and placed them on each side of your face, caressing your cheeks. He took a small step towards you until his body was pushing yours against the door to your room, and his lips started moulding against yours, savouring every bit of them.

He hummed when you parted your lips to let his tongue in and pressed your hands to his chest, your fingertips tracing his thin blouse, discovering the firm and taut curves of his chest.

His lips were soft, a perfect contrast of his harsh movements as they moved against yours. As he explored your mouth with his, one of his hands travelled towards the curve of your waist while he used the other to hold himself against the door.

He tasted like beer and sparkles. Those sparkles started on the tip of your tongue and travelled down to your toes, making you feel as if you were flying.

Wanting to be even closer to his body, you encircled the back of his neck with your arms, one of your hands tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. You pulled from it a bit, not knowing that the growl Hoseok would emit because of that would sent your body into overdrive.

You let your head fall onto the door behind you and moaned when he pushed his lower body into yours, making you feel his whole erection.

“Hoseok…” you moaned lowly as he traced your jawline and neck with his lips, biting harshly when he heard you moaning his name.

“Fuck…” he mouthed, grabbing a handful of one of your breasts.

He massaged your left breast over your blouse, making you close your eyes and gasp. You couldn’t even think straight in that moment. It was happening, Hoseok was kissing you, touching you… You didn’t know how much you had been needing him until that exact same moment.

Of course you had already realised that those sparkles you felt in your tummy every time he was close to you – or was even in the same room as you – weren’t something normal. You didn’t feel them with Yeongsu, Seunghoon, or anyone for that matter. You weren’t even sure if you had ever felt them at all. But they ignited you, your whole body and soul, and those sparkles were igniting you in that moment, heat rushing to all places of your body, making you feel as if you were on fire.

You knew you had feelings for Hoseok, that you had fallen for him, even before your “reconciliation”. Maybe it had been his rude manners towards you that made you fall in love with him, for once making you feel like a normal human being and not some Princess that had to be perfect all the time. Maybe it had been his stern looks or how much you loved heated arguments with him – you had both strong characters, sharp tongues and witty minds. Maybe it had been the numerous challenges Hoseok had put in your way. Maybe it had been his laugh, his sparkling eyes or his loud laughs. Whatever the reason had been, they all had led you there, to that corridor, kissing the man you were in love with.

But just when you could start to feel your feet lifting from the ground, your fingertips almost reaching heaven… Hoseok’s lips came to a stop over a certain spot on your neck, his hand disappeared from your chest and suddenly, his warmth was gone too.

You opened your eyes to look at him, breathing heavily from the heat his touches had left on your body.

“I…” Hoseok mumbled, bringing a hand to his forehead and closing his eyes as he lowered his head.

“What happens?” you asked.

You could still feel the ghost of his lips over your neck, the ghost of his hand over your breast, the heat of his body against yours. But you couldn’t help but become cold, your weight still resting on the door to your room, as you saw his expression morph from a confused one to a repentant one.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry,” he finally said, not being able to look you in the eye.

“You don’t have to apologise, I-“

“No, it wasn’t okay. I’m drunk and I don’t know what I’m doing,” he interrupted you, lifting his eyes so they were looking straight at yours. “I don’t want to give you the wrong idea I… I didn’t want to kiss you, it meant nothing.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. Why did you feel so used and dirty all of the sudden? And why did he sound so sober all of the sudden?

“I… I,” you stuttered.

“Let’s forget about this, yeah?” he asked, his eyes searching for yours. “Tomorrow morning, this will have never happened. We’ll continue being friends and that’s all.”

Without waiting for your response, he turned around and disappeared down the corridor.

You didn’t know how much time you had stayed like that, your back resting against the wooden door, your eyes closed as you tried not to cry, your chest raising and falling heavily with each breath you took.

The ground felt harder than ever under your feet, and heaven had never seemed so heavy above you. You had never felt your heart breaking before, but you were sure you were experiencing it for the first time then.

. . .

Since the moment you had seen Hoseok walking away from you in the corridor, you knew you were in for a sleepless night.

The bed was comfortable under you, the pillow was springy underneath your head, the sheets smelled like clean laundry and kept you body warm… And still, you couldn’t sleep.

When you closed your eyes, you saw Hoseok, his dark eyes looking at you with lust, sparkling under the dim light of the corridor. You felt his hands roaming your body, his lips savouring every bit of your skin, his body resting against yours. You could feel the coldness and emptiness he had left when he had rejected you.

How could you act as if nothing had happened when the thing you had desired the most to happen had happened? How could you look at him and not think about his lips tracing yours, his hands doing wonderful things to your body?

Your mind had been racing for hours, your body had started feeling numb from being in the same position, but still, you couldn’t stop thinking about—

A sudden knock on your door was heard.

You stood still – even more still than you were before.

A second knock.

You sat yourself up on the bed.

A third knock.

You stood silent.

“Y/N,” you heard your name being called from the other side of the door.

Why was he there? Did he want to rub his rejection in your face? Was he still drunk and didn’t even know what he was doing?

“Y/N, I know you’re awake,” Hoseok said from the other side of the door again, this time a bit louder while he knocked on your door again and again. “I need to talk to you.”

You frowned. He didn’t sound drunk, his voice as composed as always.

“Y/N!” he shouted.

You cursed under your breath, taking your cloak from the feet of your bed and rushing to the door as you put it on.

You opened the door abruptly, causing Hoseok nearly to punch you in the face, since he was about to knock again on your door.

“You’re gonna wake everyone up,” you said through clenched teeth. Anger could be visible in your eyes, glimmering under the dim light that the candle Hoseok was holding provided.

“I don’t care, I need to talk to you,” he said, sounding a bit breathless.

You examined his face. He looked sober, and awake, too awake for a late-night escapade. He had a conflicted expression on his face while he looked at you, and his hair was sticking in all directions.

Tearing your gaze away from his, you stuck your head out of the bedroom to look at the empty corridor. Not a light could be seen, only the dim moonlight that seeped from the window at the bottom of the corridor.

Resting most of your body on the door frame, you crossed your arms across your chest.

“I don’t know what you’d want to talk to me about,” you said.

“I wanted to talk about… You know, about tonight,” he said, looking at you in the eye.

“About tonight?” you frowned.

“Yeah, about what happened before, in the corridor…”

“Huh?” you kept acting as if you didn’t know what he was talking about. “Nothing happened that I remember.”

“What? But… But you weren’t drunk, you have to remember.”

You sighed. “Well, I only remember you all being drunk and me walking you to your room, nothing else.”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes as he looked at you, seeing through your lies. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Let’s forget about this, yeah?” you mimicked his voice. “Tomorrow morning, this will have never happened. We’ll continue being friends and that’s all.”

You flinched once you finished saying the exact same words he had told you hours before. The exact same words that had been replaying in your head on a on ever since then.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that-“ he began to say.

“But you said it like that,” you interrupted him. “I don’t care, Hoseok, really. If that’s all you wanted to talk about, then I’m gonna go sleep.”

You tried closing the door, but Hoseok stuck his foot in between the door and the door frame, stopping you from doing so.

“Hoseok…” you warned him.

“No, Y/N, let me speak,” he said.

“Hoseok, go away, I don’t want to see you right now,” you pushed the door with strength.

But he was stronger, and he ended up opening the whole door and stepping into your room, making you walk backwards to keep some distance between you both. Once you two were inside, he closed the door behind him and set the candle on top of your nightstand.

“I wasn’t drunk enough not to realise what I was doing,” he began to say. “I was conscious of it, I was responsible of my acts. All of them.”

“Didn’t look like it…” you mumbled.

“I didn’t want it to look like it,” he answered.

“Woah, you’re a master of dramatization then,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“I’m being serious, I’m not joking.”

“Neither am I, but you have hurt me, again and again… Tonight was only the cherry on top of the cake. So tell me, how am I supposed to act?” you spat angrily. “Was I supposed to run after you when you let me in the middle of the corridor?! Was I supposed to open the door for you and let you in?! Kiss you some more just for you to leave me hanging again?!”

“No, I just want to you understand me!” he raised his voice. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

When he re-opened them once again, he looked tired.

“I’m so fucking scared,” he sighed.

“Of what?”

“Of you.”

“Ha,” you laughed sarcastically, not knowing what else you could do.

“Of this thing between us,” he said, pointing at himself and then at you.

“Of our friendship?”

“Oh, c’ mon Y/N, I’m not a fool. This… thing between us was never a friendship and you know it,” he answers.

Your breaths became erratic once more. You didn’t know when, but at some point of the conversation, you had drifted closer to each other.

“And I know how the world works,” he continued. “I know some things about life. I know that girls like you don’t set their eyes on boys like me, and I know boys like me shouldn’t even look at girls like you. I know our destinies are written even before we are born, and I know the destiny of a common baker could never be tied to the destiny of a noble girl like you. It wasn’t in my destiny to fall for you, and it definitely wasn’t in your destiny to fall for me.”

“Don’t use that as an excuse for hurting me,” you said.

“I’m not using that as an excuse!” he raised his voice once again, frustrated because you weren’t listening to him, hearing what he really wanted to tell you.

“Don’t talk about destiny as if it ruled the world!” you raised your voice too. “Yeah, you come from a humble family and I don’t! So, what? You’re the first that’s always talking about equality and about how the social status doesn’t matter!”

“Yeah, but in reality, it does matter, and when this journey comes to its end you’ll return to your mansion and forget about me and I’ll continue making stupid bread at the bakery and wondering how my life would have been if I had given me the opportunity to choose-“

You didn’t let him finish that sentence, because you walked towards him, rested your hands on his cheeks, and placed a fervent kiss on his lips.

He stopped talking and took a step closer to you, holding your waist with his hands.

“Why do we always have to let the world chose for us?” you whispered, slowly breaking the kiss and placing your forehead on his. “Why can’t we, for once, choose how we want to live our life and choose with who we want to share it?”

You caressed with your thumb the apples of his cheeks.

Instead of answering you, he just kissed you back. With each movement of his lips against yours, he told you everything he wanted to tell you but knew that he would never be brave enough to do so. With each swipe of his tongue against yours, he made you feel all the things he felt.

He started pushing you softly towards the bed, and when the back of your legs hit the bed, he stopped. He broke the kiss and brought one of his hands to your face, moving some fallen strands of hair behind your ear.

“Aren’t you thinking about running away from me once again, are you?” you joked.

“Maybe,” he said, sending you a playful smile.

You tried shoving him away from you, but he laughed even more, pushing you until you fell on the bed. He then climbed on top of you, pinning your hands to the mattress.

“If I were to run away from you once again, I would never forgive myself,” he smiled. His laughs ceased, and as he looked you in the eye, you could tell this time he wasn’t joking.

“You’d better not,” you joked, receiving his kisses with a new smile.

He took off your cloak slowly, never tearing his lips away from yours.

The kisses escalated, he touched places of your body that ignited you on fire, he moaned in your ear as you lifted your hips to meet his… And suddenly, the room was a mess of discarded clothes lying on the floor, heated moans and soft laughs as each one of traced the map that was the body of the other, finding new paths, new places, new treasures.

“Hoseok…” you moaned when you felt him teasing your entrance with his fingers, playing with the delicate skin there.

He smirked and looked down at you, writhing beneath him in pure pleasure. Despite your moans, he could see how much you were enjoying it all.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he grunted as he felt how wet you were for him.

You opened your eyes and glared at him, your cheeks reddening.

“C’ mon, don’t be shy,” he purred in your ear, biting your earlobe and moving away his fingers from your core. “I won’t move until you tell me what to do.”

“I want you to touch me,” you ended up saying, desperate to feel his touch on your hot skin once more.

“Where?” he asked, lifting his head once again to look you in the eye, to watch you blush.

“Hmf…” you mumbled, not able to tell him exactly where you wanted him to touch you.

“Show me, babe,” he said.

You grabbed his wrist and placed his hand on top of your core. “Here,” you murmured.

He smirked, but he was ever more eager than you to touch you and please you, so he obeyed and started moving his fingers against your clit. When he started rubbing delicate circles against your sensitive area, you closed your eyes and let go of his wrist, tracing patterns from his wrist, up to his shoulder.

When you moaned louder, he pressed his fingers to your clit a bit harder and started to kiss your neck.

You felt overwhelmed by his kisses, by the warmth of his naked body above yours, by the movements of his hand, the feeling of his muscles tensing at your touch. Destiny? What was destiny in that moment when all that only existed for each other was that moment, that room, those moans and murmured words?

He stopped his movements and teased your entrance with his pointer finger. He slowly enterd you with his finger, and when he sensed you were ready enough, he introduced a second finger a bit too harshly.

“Ah, Hoseok!” you moaned, opening your eyes to watch him sweaty over you, his eyes fixed on were his fingers were making you feel on cloud nine. He brought his thumb to your clit and started tracing circles.

“Tell me, babe, how does it feel?” he asked, looking at you and attacking your neck with his kisses once more. “Hm?” he pressed when he got no answer the first time.

“G… Good,” was all you could mumble without screaming in pleasure.

“Just good?” he teased you.

“N… No,” you bit your lower lip. You looked at his eyes, clouded by lust and passion. “So good.”

“Hmm,” he nodded.

You felt his hand grabbing one of your wrist and bringing your hand towards his erection, resting on one of your thigs.

“Touch me,” he whispered in your ear, letting go of your wrist and giving you the option of obeying him or not.

You wanted to make you feel as good as he was making you fell, watch the pleasure in his eyes as he was watching it in yours.

Slowly, you grabbed his length and pumped it a couple of times. It felt hot and a bit sticky from his precum.

Growling in your ear, he let his head fall in the crook of your neck, sweat falling down his forehead and onto your skin. With your free hand, you caressed his hair.

Hoseok felt as if he was going to explode from your touch, he could only focus in what your hand was doing to him and, unconsciously, his hand stopped its movements.

“I need to be inside of you right now,” he breathed.

He lifted himself up and you let go of him. You both stayed like that, looking at each other for an eternity that lasted only one second, your small measure of peace.

Hoseok entered you slowly while he kissed you passionately. All about him was passionate, full of emotion; from the way he laughed, to the way he got angry. From the way he read a map, to the way he followed a track. From the way he argued, to the way he made love.

His movements were sharp and sent your body to euphoria. You entertained your lips with his necks, placing kisses all over his jawline and collarbones, trying not to scream in pleasure and wake the entire inn up. He was doing the same, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he pumped himself in and out of you.

You welcomed the familiar fire that ran through your veins once again, Hoseok’s movements fuelling it even more like gasoline does with fire.

Grabbing your hips, he turned you around and, placing one of his hands on the back of your neck, he obliged you to lift your lower body up in the air.

“That’s it,” he said, bringing his hand to one of your ass cheeks and giving it a harsh slap.

You bit your lip not to cry in pure pleasure. With the same sharpness as his previous movements, he entered you once again.

He wasn’t the first man you had slept with, but he was the first one to ever make you feel like that. Sex had always been okay to you, but that was nothing compared to okay. You were sure you were near to reach the stars, ecstasy running through your veins in the form of fire. And the best part of it all was that you could feel he was feeling the same, that same fire running through his veins.

“Hoseok,” you moaned, feeling that fire begin to move down your lower stomach.

He hovered above you, pressing his chest against your back. His skin was hot and sweaty, just like yours.

“Hoseok…” you moaned once again.

He grabbed a handful of your hair and moved it away from your face, which was searching for him over your shoulder. His other hand grabbed your jaw and made you look at him.

“Cum for me,” me whispered, placing an obscene kiss on your lips.

You bit your lip as you felt yourself coming undone underneath him. He let you moan in his mouth, swallowing your cries of pleasure as he milked your orgasm. His movements had suddenly turned soft, his hands tracing your body as if it was one of his precious maps.

You had never felt so important, so human and raw. You had never felt so loved.

Once he was starting to over-stimulate you and you started complaining, he pulled out of you, pumping himself fervently as you kneeled down on the bed right in front of him.

Without saying a word, you took his hand away and replaced it with your mouth, earning a guttural growl from him.

“Gosh,” he said, cursing under your breath as you fastened the movements of your head.

From underneath him, you contemplated his sharp jawline, his lips, his nose, his eyes fluttering closed. It was a sight you wanted to see every single day of your life, even if that meant breaking the rules of destiny.

“Y/N,” he gasped. “I’m gonna…”

He tried pushing away from you, but you kept your movements until he was a mess underneath your touch. He wasn’t even kneeling on the bed, he was sitting on his own legs, his hands caressing your back until you brought him to his end.

“Ahh,” he moaned, spilling his hot seed in your mouth.

Once he had finished, you pulled away from him, swallowing everything down with ease. You loved it all, him, the sex… And as he laid down on the bed, trying to regain his breath, you observed him.

“Why don’t we run away and tell everyone to fuck off?” you said, making him open his eyes and look at you.

He smiled.

“We can grab some ancient relics from that monastery and live off the money we make of selling them,” you happily said, lying by his side, contemplating the wooden ceiling of the room.

Outside, the wind blew mercilessly.

“I’m sure those old monks won’t mind if we steal some of their belongings,” Hoseok laughed, circling your waist and bringing you closer to him. You rested your head on his chest, placing your hand on top of his chest, feeling his heart beating underneath it.

“Or maybe they will, and they’ll send us to hell,” you joked.

“Well, then it’s a risk worth taking if we both go to hell together,” he said, a smile so wide drawn on his lips you could even hear it in his voice. “But just because it will mean seeing you in hell, with your hair messy and burnt and your skin sweaty and ugly.”

“Hey!” you complained, punching his side with your fist. He let out a cry of pain, but instead of pushing you away from him, he pulled you closer, grabbing both of your wrists so you wouldn’t be able to punch him again.

“I wasn’t joking about running away with you,” You said after a brief moment of silence. Your voice barely a whisper as you tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck, suddenly your cheeks turning red.

He grabbed one of your cheeks and made you look at him. “And I wasn’t joking about agreeing to it.”

You blushed even more, not knowing why, but averting your eyes away from his as you felt warmth spreading through your entire face.

“Hey,” he said, searching for your eyes in the dim light of the room. “Why are you shy all of the sudden?”

You shrugged, not knowing why.

“I can see your naked body and you’ve even swallowed my-“

You punched his side once again and sat yourself on top of him, trying to tickle him. He finished his sentence in between laughs and gasps, and you got even redder when he said the last words. But all shyness evaporated when he grabbed the back of your neck and brought your lips to his, getting lost in each other’s bodies once more.

That was how your relationship was, a whirlwind of emotions and passion. Of laughter and tears. Of arguments and heated sex. Of teasing and serious conversations under the stars.

It was love, in the shape of two young persons that belonged to opposite worlds.

. . .

The stories said there was an old monastery, hidden between three mountains, each one of them located in a different kingdom.

Down the Three Seasons path, you could find it, surrounded by beauty and nature in its rawest form.

The stories spoke about magic and mystery, about a misty atmosphere, eerie and calm. But they didn’t spoke about the stories that each stone that formed the monastery told, about the whispers you could hear in the wind, about the smell of flowers and humidity.

The place sent shivers running down your spine. Because it was true, because the monastery existed, because you were seeing it with your own eyes, because you were sensing everything with your own skin.

You felt Hoseok’s hand grabbing yours, his fingers interlacing with yours as he walked you towards the rest of the group. You had stayed a bit behind to contemplate everything, to make sure that you weren’t dreaming.

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” you asked, your eyes wandering all over the place, landing on the towers of the building.

“Yeah, but it gives me a weird feeling…” he whispered.

You then averted your eyes from the scenery and looked at him. When you found out you were in love with him nearly two months before, you thought you couldn’t love him anymore. And yet, there you were, your hands interlaced with him and your heat beating heavily on your chest because all you could think of was running away with him after exploring the monastery and starting a new life by his side. No social status between you both, just love.

You squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. “Everything will be fine.”

He smiled hesitantly and then continued walking. You weren’t ones to show your affection in front of everyone, so, when the rest of the group saw you holding hands they started whistling in your direction and teasing you both until eventually, you broke the contact away.

“Okay, focus on this, guys,” Yong said, reprimanding the boys for distracting him. “The place seems empty, but we don’t know it for sure, so we’ll split up in small groups. Some will explore the place, making sure its empty. Some will guard the entry, we have already seen enough weird creatures, we don’t need any of them surprising us now. And then, another group will search for the fountain. Whoever finds it, calls the rest. Understood?”

“Yeah,” you all said at the same time.

“Minho and Yeongsu will go and make sure there’s no one but us in here. Seunghoon and Y/N will stand guard at the front door, and Hoseok, Jinwoo and I will go looking for the fountain,” Yong said.

You cursed inwardly. If you were supposed to stay at the front door and stand guard, how would you go in search of the journal?

“Yong, can I go searching for the fountain too? I’m curious about it,” you said.

“I would prefer if you stayed at the door, you’re good with the bow and we’ll need you if some enemy approaches the building,” Yong said.

You nodded obediently, but kept cursing inwardly. You would have to go away without Seunghoon noticing.

“Everyone understood what they have to do?” Yong asked once again.

“Yeah,” you all repeated.

“Alright! Everyone at his tasks!” he said, clapping his hands.

“Hey,” Hoseok called for you when he saw you going towards your horse to grab your bow and arrows.

You turned around as he grabbed you by the wrist.

He cupped one of your cheeks with one hand, caressing your skin with his thumb. “I’ll describe you how the place looks from the inside later,” he said in a malicious tone.

You punched his stomach softly, glaring at him. “Ha, ha, you’re so funny.”

You tried backing away from him, but he pulled form your wrist and crashed his body against him, soon his lips following and moulding against yours.

“EW! Get a room!” you heard Minho screaming.

“Disgusting,” you heard Jinwoo sigh.

When you broke the kiss, both of you broke the kiss, looking at each other’s eyes. A sparkle was clear in Hoseok’s eyes.

“Meet me in the Winter Forest when everything’s over,” he whispered, caressing your lips with his.

You nodded and he pecked your lips once more before letting go of you.

“C’ mon Hoseok!” Yong called him.

He held your hand until the distance between you both didn’t allow him to hold it anymore.

“Be careful,” you whispered.

He nodded and then, disappeared behind the thick wooden doors of the monastery. A shiver ran down your spine in that exact same moment, and you felt the wind shaking furiously your cloak.

The whispers that came down the Three Seasons path brought three words to your ears. From the direction of the Winter Forest came the first one: “Till”.

From the direction of the Spring Forest came the second one: “the”.

And finally, you heard the final word, the wind blowing it from the direction of the Autumn Forest: “end”.

Till the end.

. . .

Somehow, Seunghoon had bought your lie and let you explore the monastery thinking you had to found Yong because you needed to tell him something.

The monastery’s inside felt as magical and eerie as its outside.

A thick layer of dust covered the floors, and the carpets, and the furniture. All statues were destroyed from the passing of time. Wooden tables eaten by the termites. You could hear the rats running away from you and hiding in their secret passages. Apart from that, it really looked like time was stopped in that place.

In the dinning room, the plates and the cutlery were still neatly placed on top of the tables, as if the monks were about to go and have dinner.

In the different rooms, some beds were neatly made, others were messy, as if someone had been sleeping in them just seconds before.

In the kitchen, a cauldron was placed on top of some stones, where the fire should still be lit. There was no food, probably the rats were to blame because of that, but the knifes and other utensils were still placed on top of the kitchen counters.

You were just exploring another room when you found it.

It was a common room, just like the rest. A humble bed with a nightstand on its left side. An oil lamp on top of the nightstand. A small trunk full of clothes by the feet of the bed. An empty wooden wardrobe which doors had disappeared. A small desk.

But something was missing. Something you had seen in the other ten rooms and something you couldn’t see in that one. A window.

It was weird that a small room like that didn’t have a window, the person that lived in it would have suffocated.

Not closing the door behind you so the natural outside light that came from the huge windows of the corridor, could lit the whole room.

In other rooms, the window had been hidden behind the curtains, making those rooms look as dark as that looked. But, when you touched the heavy curtains and moved them aside, you found nothing but rock beneath them.

“How strange…” you mumbled under your breath, hanging your bow from your shoulder so you could use your hands freely.

As you were touching the different stones from the wall, you could sense one that stuck out from the rest. With strength, you pushed that stone and waited for something to happen. You pushed again, and again, until you gave up and laughed at yourself for being so stupid. That wasn’t another of the priest’s stories, that was real life and things like that didn’t happ-

A loud sound was heard in the room, as if some stone had fallen to the ground, and then, you felt your legs trembling and the whole floor shaking under your feet.

In the dim light that seeped through the half-opened door, you could see the small, empty wardrobe disappearing and a dark passageway appearing in its place.

“Woah,” you breathed, grabbing the old oil lamp from the nightstand. It still had oil in it, so you grabbed the flint of one of your arrows and rubbed it against the material of the wick.

A subtle flame appeared, enough to guide you through the darkness.

You sent another glance at the corridor to make sure it was empty, and then, stepped into the dark passageway.

It was cold, and it smelled like humidity and drain. But you didn’t care, you kept walking until you found some spiral stairs that led upwards.

Looking back once again, you couldn’t even see the path you had followed.

“This is everything you ever wanted,” you said to yourself. “Don’t back away now.”

You convinced yourself and started climbing up the stairs, ignoring the voice in the back of your head that told you to stop, to turn back and return to the front door, to stand guard with Seunghoon and wait for Hoseok so you could go away together.

“This is everything I’ve ever wanted,” you repeated.

After some minutes of going upwards, you finally found a door. It had a huge chain wrapped around its handle, but when you touched the lock with your hands, it was completely broken in half. Its edges were irregular, as if that something that had split the lock in two was made of fire.

You pulled from the lock and the chain fell to the floor with a loud sound. Without thinking it twice, you pushed the door open.

The sight in front of you left you speechless. Rows and row of the highest shelves you had ever seen, welcomed you. Your eyes had to adjust to the blinding light inside the room, and as you put out the oil lamp and left it onto the floor, you searched for windows, but there wasn’t any.

How there could be so much light in that huge room then?

Looking at the ceiling, you were left speechless once again. Small oil lamps were floating, but the light they gave wasn’t dim or dark like the light usual oil lamps gave, no. The light of each oil lamp was like the light of the sun, bright and warm.

But, as you stepped further into the library, that weird feeling settled deeper into you and you started finding the place even stranger.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted,” you found yourself saying, not even conscious of it.

It was as if a strange force was pulling you towards the shelves of the library, making your feet carry you and your body follow them.

Soon, you found yourself in the deepest part of the library, and the darkest one too. A huge chain prevented the entry to that secluded area of the library. As you grabbed the chain, it fell to the floor just like the previous one had done, and you stepped into the secluded area.

There, you immediately walked towards the last shelve and found only one book in it.

Its cover was made of dark brown, worn out leather. Its pages were yellowish from the passing of time, and, on its first page you could read a number four written in black ink on top of another number four.

“The fourth journal…” you whispered, caressing its cover as if it was a beloved puppy.

Opening the pages, just scrolling through them, made you feel something inside… Was it satisfaction for finally finding it after all those years of research? Was it nostalgia because you had found the last journal? Was it eagerness for knowing what happened to the girl who wrote it?

Scrolling through the pages, you suddenly stopped on one. It was a ripped-out page, and only a third of it still remained glued to the rest of the notebook. But in that third of the page you could still read three words.

“Till the end…” you read out loud.

At the sound of those three words, you let the diary fall onto the floor as if it burned your hands.

Frowning, you took some steps back from the diary and from the secluded area, repeating the words in your head.

“Those are the fucking three words I heard the wind whisper,” you mumbled to yourself. “I… I thought I had imagined it…”

As you were walking backwards, your feet got stuck into something and you fell backwards onto the floor, hitting your head against the floor and moaning in pain.

“Ouch,” you complained, sitting yourself up on the floor and bringing a hand to the back of your head to make sure you weren’t bleeding.

When you retrieved your hand it was clean. It looked like you had survived to the fall. But what hadn’t survived to the fall was your bow. As you had fallen on top of it, you had broken it into two.

“No…” you said, going to grab the remaining pieces of your bow.

But, as you did so, your eyes landed on the object that had caused you to fall. At first you thought it was some old piles of wood, but once you looked closer, you realised the “object” that had caused you to fall were a pile of old bones.

“Oh, God!” you exclaimed, letting go of the pieces of your broken bow and standing up from the ground.

Then, you started to look around you. Properly look around you.

You hadn’t noticed the books lying on the floor instead of the shelves, most of them turned into ashes. You hadn’t noticed the empty desks, the burnt chairs and the skeletons lying on the floor beneath them. You hadn’t noticed the strange smell of rotten flesh and burnt wood that filled the place.

You supressed a scream, clasping a hand over your mouth.

“Oh my God,” you exclaimed.

You ran towards the door, but when you tried to open it, it was closed.

Starting to panic, you searched for some other way out, but you found nothing. Only shelves, and books, and skeletons.

And then, you saw it. The first lamp falling from the ceiling and crashing onto the floor. The light in it evaporated and flames appeared in it place. Then another lamp fell, and another, and another… And suddenly, the whole library was on fire, its bright now replaced by a darker one.

You ran towards the door once again only to find it still was closed. Grabbing the handle, you pulled from it, but nothing happened. You hit the door with your feet, with your shoulder… Anything to try to open it, but to no avail.

“No, no, no”, you cried once you saw the flames eaten up everything, threatening to consume you too. “The diary!” you suddenly thought.

Quickly, you ran towards the secluded area, avoiding the flames in your way.

In the middle of all the chaos, the flames had started to eat the wood of the first shelve, making it fall against the others in some kind of wicked domino.

You tried running towards the journal again, but a hand stopped you from doing so.

You turned around too see Hoseok behind you, a questioning look on his face as he grabbed you by your wrist.

“What are you doing here?” he yelled so you could hear him above all the noise.

“Let go of me!” you yelled back, turning towards the secluded are and trying to run, but Hoseok pulled you towards him.

“Are you crazy? The flames are getting bigger, we need to get out of here!” he said.

“No!” you fought against Hoseok. “This is all I’ve ever wanted! I need to get the journal!”

“What are you talking about? What journal? We need to get out of here before we end up like those skeletons laying on the floor!”

“NO! The journal! I need it! Let go of me!” you kept screaming.

The shelve right in front of you started swinging, but you were to distracted thinking about your journal that you didn’t notice. But Hoseok did, and, with a harsh pull he pushed you towards him and you both landed on the floor, your back against his chest.

You breathed heavily as you contemplated the shelve falling onto the ground, the secluded area disappearing underneath it, and with it, the fourth diary.

“NO!” you screamed once again.

You stayed there, watching the shelves falling and burning under the angry flames. It was the end. You would never know what happened to that girl or how her diary ended, and for a moment, those thoughts invaded your mind, making you feel… Empty.

Hoseok’s hands encircled your waist to hold you closer to him. You hadn’t even noticed you were crying.

“Y/N?” he asked in your ear.

And his voice was all you needed to snap back to reality.

As if waking up from a bad nightmare, you took a deep breath of air and sat yourself up on the floor. The flames ere consuming everything: the wooden shelves and desks, the skeletons lying on the floor, the piles of books discarded all over the library… You needed to get out of the place.

You stood up, pulling Hoseok with you and throwing yourself in his arms.

“Are you okay?” he whispered in your ear once again.

You hugged him tighter and hid your face in the crook of his neck. The diary wasn’t all you ever wanted. Finding out who that girl was or what happened to her, wasn’t all you ever wanted, nor needed. He, Hoseok, was it. Everything you ever wanted, needed, desired… And he had been right in front of you all that time.

“Yeah,” you said, separating yourself from him a bit so he could observe your face.

He caressed your face with both of his hands, wiping away the dried tears. He had never seen you crying before, but he didn’t like how his chest hurt at the sight of your pain. He examined your face in search of any damage, and when he saw you were okay, he spoke again.

“We have to find a way out,” he said, looking at the wooden door surrounded by the flames.

“There has to be another way out,” you nodded, turning around as your eyes scanned the room.

You started searching around the room, in a strange competition against the flames, which were threatening you each passing moment, growing bigger and bigger. The smoke from the burn books seeped into your lungs and made breathing a difficult task, but the both of you kept going.

“Hoseok!” you called him as your eyes landed on some kind of trap door on the floor, just beside all the falling shelves.

He followed the finger that was pointing towards the trap door and nodded. He looked around, analysing your possibilities. It was risky, but it was your only option.

“Let’s go!” he yelled over the sound of the creeping flames.

He grabbed your hand and started running towards the trap door, avoiding the flames and the falling lamps. Each time a shelve fell onto the floor, the ground shook beneath your feet, and you weren’t sure hoy much time the ancient structure would resist.

“Over here!” he said, pulling from you and avoiding some books that were falling from the highest tops of the shelves.

After losing your quivers and your arrows in the run, you were only left with your clothes and your cloak, which was burnt on the edges. Your lungs hurt from the effort of running and the smoke, and you couldn’t stop coughing.

You finally arrived to the trap door, only two shelves remaining up and stopping the rest from covering the trap door.

Hoseok opened the wooden door and you both welcomed the gust of fresh air.

“You go first!” he said, throwing the ladder that had been kept besides the trap door into the space.

You nodded, holding yourself onto the railing of the small ladder that lead you to a small garden with dying flowers. Just when you were climbing down the first steps, a loud crack was heard in the room above you.

As you looked upwards, you saw it, the last shelve swinging as the one before it fell onto its front.

“Hoseok!” you screamed, warning him.

The boy looked above him, but it was too late, and there was no way that the both of you would make it to the garden before the shelve fell.

It all happened so fast. You were holding yourself with all the strength you had left onto the ladder. Hoseok looked down at you, smiling sadly, as if he was telling you goodbye.

“NO!”

As the shelve fell, you reached out your hand for him, but, sending you a last smile, he rolled onto his side and disappeared from your sight as the shelve fell onto the ground with a loud thud.

From the force of the impact, the trap door closed, cutting the ladder you were holding onto. The rest of the stones that had been holding the library for years, gave up from the hard impact too, and a big crack opened onto them.

As you fell towards the ground, all you could see was a dark sky of fire, rocks and falling objects that were being swallowed by the flames.

When you hit the ground, it didn’t hurt, nor did it make you scream. You just stood silent as you got engulfed by a comforting darkness.

. . .

You were walking down the Three Seasons Path.

The air smelled like fresh cherry blossoms, warm autumn leaves and cold pines. Before you, you could see a beautiful landscape of reds, oranges, browns, dark greens, whites, pinks, yellows… And above you, the blue sky showed you its most beautiful sun.

You felt happy, you felt at peace, because you had everything you ever wanted, all you ever needed. A beautiful landscape before you, a stone path underneath your feet guiding your every step, the sun shinning in the sky and warming your cold skin, and a warm hand holding yours.

You looked at those slender fingers interlaced with yours, and your gaze kept travelling upwards until you found a pair of dark, sparkling eyes looking directly at you. It was a beautiful boy with dark chestnut hair, tan skin, and a beautiful smile that warmed up your insides even more than the sun.

You stopped walking and the boy did too.

You both stood there, observing the other and smiling radiantly. You had never felt so happy before, never felt like the world belonged to you and no one else but you. You were the owner of your own life, of your own destiny. And you were ready to share it all with…

“Hoseok?” you called the boy when his features started disappearing.

You couldn’t make out his eyes, or his lips… Only a whit canvas was staring at you.

You began to feel uneasy, your body tensing and panic overflowing you. You wanted to scream his name but you couldn’t, because your throat hurt too much and no words would come out.

And before you realised it, the sky had turned grey, and where Hoseok had been previously standing, was now a pile of burning diaries. All with that same worn out, leather cover, those same yellowish pages.

“Hoseok!” you screamed, and this time, you heard your own voice, louder than you had intended to.

A pair of hands pinned you to the bed as you tried to fight. Against what?

“Milady,” you heard a soft voice.

“Hoseok!” you kept shouting.

“Milady, you’re alright,” the voice tried shooting you.

“Hoseok!”

“Call a doctor!” that same voice ordered.

Some minutes after, you found yourself in a room full of unknown people, all staring at you as doctor examined you. You had woken up in a strange bed, surrounded by strangers, screaming the name of the man you loved.

“She’s all right,” the doctor confirmed after touching your forehead. “The fever has stopped, it seems as she simply had a nightmare. She inhaled a lot of smoke from the fire, that’s probably the reason why her throat hurts, so as soon as her wounds are healed completely, she should go outside and breathe fresh air.”

“Thanks, doctor,” the boy that had explained all that had happened to you said.

He was the Prince of the Winter Kingdom, known as Whitehall. His men saw the smoke behind the mountains and, when they arrived at the place, all that was left of the monastery was a pile of rocks and some flames still eating up everything they found in their way. They had found you lying on a pile of rocks, unconscious but breathing.

You had seen Prince Kihyun a couple of times before at a couple of parties. You had never spoken to him, but you had exchanged “hellos”. That’s why he had recognised you as Y/N, the Princess of Greyria, as soon as he had seen you, and he had immediately brought you to his palace and made sure you were attended by the best of doctors.

“Are you more calmed now?” Prince Kihyun asked, closing the door after the doctor got out of the room.

“No,” you said, crossing your arms across your chest. “I need to see them.”

Prince Kihyun sighed. “Princess Y/N, I…”

“I know!” you said in a rush, wanting to express yourself properly. “I thank you for everything you did for me, Prince Kihyun, I really appreciate your hospitality and good intentions. But please, let me see my friends, please.”

“They’re waiting for their trial, I can’t let you see them right now,” he said, pursing his lips.

“The aren’t guilty of anything, they don’t need a trial. I was the one at fault for everything, they didn’t even know who I was,” your voice sounded desperate.

“Your father sent an expedition of men after you when you disappeared. He searched the whole continent and you didn’t appear,” Prince Kihyun said. His posture was solemn and cold. He reminded you of yourself.

Of course, your father hadn’t told anyone the truth about your disappearance: that you ran away on your own behalf. That would have been a great dishonour to him and your whole family, to the crown and to Greyria. So instead, he told everyone that you had been on a trip to your mother’s kingdom, when a group of men assaulted you and kidnapped you.

The poor Y/N. The fragile Princess of Greyria. Kidnapped by a group of cruel men.

That’s who you were then to everyone in the continent.

“He told everyone you were kidnapped and in danger,” the Prince kept saying.

“But that’s not true. I wasn’t kidnapped, I ran away,” you said.

“Don’t say nonsense, Princess Y/N,” Prince Kihyun said with a frown on his face. “You wouldn’t do something like that, you know what the consequences would be for you and your entire family.”

“Yes, I knew, and I did it anyways,” you sat yourself up on the bed, resting your back on its large headboard. “I was so done with everything that my and my family’s reputation was the last of my thoughts.”

You paused for a moment, seeing the understanding cross the Prince’s features briefly.

“You have to believe me, please, Prince Kihyun. They did nothing but take care of me and believe my lies. They’re innocent, they don’t deserve to be punished by my mistakes,” you said.

Prince Kihyun stayed there looking at you with hesitance. He was thinking what to do and you could only pray he believed you, because if he did not…

“The day after tomorrow I’ll send you and your ‘friends’ back to Greyria. They won’t have a trial here, but I’ll let your father decide if he’s going to judge them or not,” he ended up saying. “About you… I do believe you, and I do understand why you did what you did, but I don’t approve your behaviour. Family and the kingdom should be first priorities for a Princess… I’ll act as if I don’t know anything that happened, and the people of my kingdom will never know you were here.”

You wanted to run towards the Prince and hug him, but given the circumstances, you doubted it was the best option. Plus, you barely even knew him. So you just nodded.

“Thank you, Prince Kihyun, I’m really grateful and I won’t forget what you did for me and my friends,” you said, bending your head in a small bow.

Prince Kihyun nodded towards you. “I’ll let you see them.”

. . .

It hurt you to feel them all so distant as you walked through the corridors of Whitehall Palace.

Seunghoon hadn’t even greeted you. Jinwoo was walking a mile away from you, afraid that, if he would touch you, some guard would appear and take him to the dungeons. Minho couldn’t look at you, and Yeongsu was simply leading you towards him.

Yong’s death had left you all numb, in complete shock. But you suspected your leader’s death wasn’t the only cause to the cold atmosphere that surrounded you all.

“It’s in here,” Yeongsu said, stopping before a small door at the end of the corridor. He then leaned his head and bowed in front of you.

Watching him bow felt like an arrow shot straight into your heart.

You looked him in the eye before pushing the door open, wanting to apologise. Be he just stayed still, avoiding your glance. You knew your lies had hurt him more than the death of his friend had, and that hurt you even more.

In silence, you entered the small room in which Hoseok was resting.

When Prince Kihyun told you they had found him, alive, you had felt as if you could breathe again. You had wanted to run towards him, hug him and tell him how much you had missed him, how afraid you had been thinking you would never see him again. But now that you were finally there, in front of him, your feet stayed glued to the floor and your mouth kept shut.

He was lying on a huge bed in the middle of the room. His body seemed small hidden under the white sheets, slumped on the bed as he was facing the window at the other side of the bed. From your position, you could see his chest rising and falling, his eyes wandering outside the window.

You had him right in front of you, so why did it feel like he was so far away?

“Hoseok?” you whispered, your voice barely a trembling whisper.

You knew he had heard you, knew he had recognised you, and still, he closed his eyes and stood still.

“Hoseok,” you repeated, taking some steps towards the bed he was in.

As you got closer to him, and saw his features illuminated by the sun that seeped from the window, the tight squeeze you were feeling in your chest increased.

You could only see the left side of his face. You could see the purple bruises that encircled his eye, the cut above his eyebrow, and how pale he looked. One of his arms had been bandaged and his posture made you think he was in terrible pain.

“Hoseok?” you called him again, hesitantly stopping at the feet of the bed.

This time, he opened his eyes and turned his head, so he was facing you. A small gasp left your lips as you got a full sight of him.

The left side of his face was bruised, but nothing compared to how his right side was. Flames had left their mark on his beautiful face, tracing patterns of burn flesh all over the right side of his face. The wound wasn’t huge, and luckily it hadn’t reached his eye nor his mouth or nose, but it would leave a mark on Hoseok’s face for the rest of his life.

You couldn’t help but bring a hand to cover your mouth as you looked at him, tears falling down your cheeks.

“Like what you see?” he said bitterly. His voice was much raspier than you remembered it.

“I… I…” you stuttered like a stupid girl.

He turned his neck abruptly and hid his right side of the face on the pillow, his eyes scanning outside the window once again. You felt your heart crumbling into a million pieces.

“Don’t worry, no one does,” he said, that same bitterness behind his words. “They all stare at me with that look in between pity and disgust.”

“It’s not that… I just…”

“Ah, no?” he said, faking being surprised by your words and looking at you again. His eyes were darker than ever, and as you looked at him you felt… Small. Insignificant. Disgusted at yourself and what you had done to that cheerful and lively young boy. “What is it then?”

He wasn’t interested in what you had to say. He was just bitter. He wanted you to see what you had done to him, not only physically. He wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt him.

“I just wanted to now if you were okay,” you said in a small voice.

He laughed bitterly.

“Does it look like I’m fucking okay?” he said, raising his voice and making you flinch from the hate and anger that was in it.

“No, and I’m sorr –“

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” he cut you off abruptly.

You shut your mouth, swallowing the tears as you tried to remain calm in front of him. You couldn’t let him see you crumbling in front of him after all you had done to him.

“But I am, I am sorry for all that happened…” you gathered the courage to say. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“Well, that’s a good thing to know,” he shrugged.

“I’m being serious Hoseok, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“But you did it anyway,” he added.

You pursed your lips, forming a thin line with them.

“Tell me… Did you at least have fun while lying to us in our faces?” he asked. “Did it satisfy you when all of us believed you and bought all your lies? Did you feel superior? Did it make you feel good?”

“No,” was all you could say. You were trying to tell him to stop with your eyes, but he was fuming, hurt, and wanted his revenge.

He tried sitting up on the bed, but the pain stopped him from doing so and just leaned back against the headboard.

“How did it feel when you lied in my face and I believed you?” he asked, and then paused to hear your response, but when he got none, he urged you to answer. “Hmm?”

You swallowed. You wanted to hold his gaze, but you couldn’t, not when he was looking at you as if you were nothing. So, you lowered your head and shrugged.

“I bet it felt really good, didn’t it? After all, you’re a princess, and that’s what you all do. You lie,” his voice was like venom to you. “You grow in between lies, in between fake love, fake friends, fake smiles, fake words… And so, you lie too. That’s why you lied to me? Because you are used to it? Or was it because you wanted to save your ass? No, no, no, maybe it was because you wanted to feel powerful! It was that, wasn’t it? You wanted to feel that you were in control of the situation, that you were in control of us.”

The only thing you could do was shake your head, but, if he saw it, he ignored it.

“I though I was so clever because I found out you were some noble girl, pff, how stupid of me. I should have seen it coming. How did it feel when you invented all those stories about your life? How did it feel when I told you about that birthday cake I made for you on your ninth birthday and how you didn’t even look at me? I bet it felt great humiliating me, making fun of the poor son of the baker. Was it funny though? Hearing me speaking about dreams you knew I wouldn’t be able to reach?”

“I never laughed at you or humiliated you, and I never found funny the fact that you had dreams,” you spoke, raising your head to look at him.

“Sure, that’s another one of your truths, isn’t it? It surprises me you even told me you real name, or isn’t Y/N your real name?”

“Hoseok, that was never what I intended,” you said. “If I had told you who I really was, it would have been worst for you.”

“Or worst for you?” he added.

“Well, maybe yeah, I was selfish when I decided not to tell you who I really was –“

“Oh, so there were times when you weren’t selfish?” he interrupted you.

You closed your mouth once again and just stared at him.

“You know, this past days, as I’ve been lying on this bed, I’ve been wondering…” he stopped to look at you, really look at you. “If the expedition at the monastery hadn’t gone wrong… Would you have still run away with me? Or was it another lie of yours? Or would you have run away with me and never tell me anything?”

“I…” you stuttered.

“I don’t even need an answer for that,” he said, waving you off. “But I’ve been curious about other thing…”

He looked at you with a curious expression.

“What were you doing at the library? What was that journal you were talking about?” he asked.

You blinked a few times. “It’s… It’s complicated.”

“So, you’re not even going to tell me now?”

Sighing, you told him everything, you had nothing to lose at that point. From the first diary the priest gave you, to the liberating feeling in your chest when the fourth diary got burnt with the rest of the books at the library.

“It was just another one of your lies then…” he scoffed after your story. “You weren’t some girl in search of adventure, wanting to set free from her boring and empty life.”

“I couldn’t tell you about it, you’d have just –“

“Save it, I think I’ve heard enough,” he said.

You nodded.

He eyed you up and down, that cold expression still on his face, and when he was finished, he scoffed and looked at the window again, as if you weren’t interesting to his eyes anymore.

“If that’s all you had to say, you can leave,” he murmured, so low you could barely hear him.

“Hoseo –“

“Just leave,” he cut you off once again. But this time, he looked tired, not even angry, just tired.

You stayed there for a moment, looking at his side profile. You remembered that night under the stars when you both “made peace” and started all over again. You had been looking at his side profile that night too, but it didn’t look the same. His cheeks weren’t as hollow, and his skin wasn’t as pale, it glowed under the moonlight just like an entire room could glow under his laugh. And his eyes… Always so lively and now so dull and empty. And you were the culprit.

Biting your lower lip and furiously wiping away the tears that were falling from your cheeks, you turned around. You weren’t going to fight in a battle you had already lost.

“I want to know one last thing,” you heard his raspy voice when you were about to reach the door.

You turned around too find him already looking at you, his cold expression morphed into a hurt one, a sad one, and you wondered what expression you preferred: the sad one or the impassible one. Definitely, the latter.

“Did you ever love me?”

You frowned at that, staying frozen on the spot. But it was one of the few questions he had asked you that night that you had a certain answer for.

“I did, and I do,” you nodded. “I love you, Hoseok.”

He flinched at your words, each one of them feeling like a sharp knife stabbing his heart.

He sent you a last look before staring at the window again, the peaceful sunny day on the outside being a beautiful contrast to the storms that were threatening both of your broken hearts.

And just like that, looking at him one last time, you left the room in silence.

. . .

The journey back to Greyria only lasted a month, but to you, it seemed longer than the six months that had lasted the expedition.

It was a month of loneliness and guilt.

Yeongsu had been the only one who had spoken to you, cleared things out. He had been the only one who tried to understand you and what you did, though you knew he would never understand.

No one never understood. But you were used to it. No one had ever understood you.

But at least he had tried. You couldn’t say the same about the rest of the boys. Yeongsu told you they blamed you for Yong’s death, that you had to give them time, let them mourn the death of their friend. And you did, you gave them time, and still, they weren’t even able to look you in the eye.

And although they didn’t understand you, you did, you understood them. If it hadn’t been for you, they would be returning home with their pockets full of gold and ready to start a new life, but because of you and your selfishness, they would never be able to do so.

You knew you father. He would never let go of something like that. Not when his honour was involved.

And when you weren’t on your own – your eyes fixed on the horizon, your mind lost in thought – you were hiding and crying, drowning in your own sorrow and guilt. You were a ghost, barely eating, sleeping, breathing… But always carrying on, going forwards.

You knew that the force that was pushing you, that was keeping you from giving up, was hope. You had never let yourself have hope, you always knew it was a dangerous thing, a sharp weapon. It set its roots deep within your heart, it kept you breathing, it kept you going. And when that hope disappeared, it crashed everything on its way.

But somehow, you had let hope grow in you, and you would soon let it destroy you.

Hoseok didn’t speak to you, didn’t even look at you, and when he had to because he didn’t have another choice, he bowed and greeted you with a low “your highness”.

And each time he called you “your highness”, your heart broke. You ached for him to call you Y/N, to look at you, smile at you, speak to you. You missed him even when you were in the same tent.

You could see him, barely eating, sleeping or breathing, just like you. He just kept that stone-cold façade and kept going on, going forwards.

His physical wounds were healing slowly, but what hurt you the most was knowing that his wounds were deeper on the inside, and those wounds would probably never heal.

But more than hurt, or lonely, or guilty… You were afraid. Scared. Terrified. You feared the moment you would arrive to Greyria and see your father again. You feared hearing the verdict of your father.

So, when one Spring day, the three high towers of Greyria’s castle appeared in the distance, you could only hold on tight to the reins of your horse and hope. Hope your father would forgive you. Hope your father would forgive the boys. Hope…

Escorted by your father’s guards, you entered the castle feeling like an intruder.

Walking down the main corridor of the castle felt so strange after all those months. All the luxurious furniture, carpets, paintings and statues looked foreign to you, almost as if you had never seen them before. The maids and the guards bowed you when you passed them, dressed in your common clothes – your dirty white blouse, vast trousers and brown boots, your thick brown coat and your hair falling down your shoulders, without its usual shine and delicate locks.

Hoseok and the rest walked behind you, and even though you couldn’t see them, you knew they were just as nervous as you were.

You father was waiting for you at the main hall, sitting on his throne as usual. He was talking lowly to one of his advisors, not even noticing your entrance in the wide room.

“Your Highness,” another advisor said, announcing your entrance. “The Princess Y/N of Greyria.”

Your father’s head turned in your direction, and instead of looking relieved to see you were okay after all, that you weren’t hurt or ill, he looked furious, almost disgusted.

As the rest of the persons that were in the room bowed at you, your father sat upright on his throne, looking at you with his chin up, making you feel like an insect under his stare.

Following the protocol, you bowed at your father. “Father, I’m glad to see you again.”

“Well, I can’t say the same,” the deep voice of your father said, his words reverberating across the room, making you flinch.

You stood straight once again, looking at the floor, not daring to look him in the eye.

“You have nothing to say?” he asked.

“I’m sorry father,” is all you could say you could say. You wanted to tell him that no, you didn’t have to give him any explanations about what you did with your life, but you couldn’t if you wanted to save Hoseok and the rest.

The bitter laugh of your father echoed through the main hall.

“You’re sorry,” he said bitterly. “You’re sorry!”

At his loud voice, you flinched once again, taking a step back and lowering your head even more. You didn’t want Hoseok to see that, to see your shame and sorrow.

Your father stood from the throne and walked towards you, his elegant clothes as polished as always, his golden crown resting on top of his head.

“You know what your little escapade meant to me and the rest of our family? To the crown?! To our Kingdom?!” he said, raising his voice even more. “Look at me.”

You were trembling at that point, not daring to look at him.

“Look at me!” he shouted. He sounded so close to you that you just snapped your head towards his direction without even thinking.

His face was red in anger.

“You have stained our name! You have dishonoured us!” he said.

Suddenly, you felt a harsh pain on your left cheek, the air caressing your face as it turned towards the side because of the harsh slap. Without shedding a tear, you straightened your head and looked at your father once more.

“And you even dare looking at me as if you were satisfied,” he said through clenched teeth. You lifted your chin defiantly.

Another harsh slap came onto your left cheek, this time harder and louder. You felt blood rushing towards the skin that had been slapped twice but refused the urge to bring a hand towards the damaged area to comfort yourself.

You could hear Hoseok fighting against a guard behind you as he tried to reach you and the guard held him to prevent him from doing so.

“You’re a shame to me and our family. You’ve dishonoured us and now, we’ll have to pay the price of your mistakes,” your father kept saying. “Unfortunately, you’re my only child and my only heir, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get to be queen one day. I won’t let you sit on that throne after all you’ve done.”

You clenched your teeth. He was humiliating you in front of everyone in the room, and still you didn’t care about it, nor the fact that he had just told you, you would never be queen. You never wanted to be the queen of your kingdom. All you cared about was the boy being held by the guard just behind you.

“Next week, I’ll send you to your mother’s kingdom and your grandmother will oversee you-“

“But my grandmother-” you interrupted him, your chest constricting at the idea of spending the rest of your days with that old woman that had ruined your mother and that was about to ruin you too. She was evil and cruel, you had never seen someone that was so similar to your father. Or even worst.

“She will treat you with firm hand, and…” he paused, looking at you and making you shut your mouth immediately. “…hopefully, will be able to reform you into a proper woman. Maybe one man stupid enough will accept your hand in matrimony and will keep you entertained. Meanwhile, your cousin will replace you on the throne, I’m sure he will be a better ruler than you could ever be.”

“Father, I…” you stuttered.

“There’s nothing else to say,” your father cut you off in a stern tone.

Then, he walked past you and towards the boys and Yeongsu who had been observing the whole situation. You didn’t turn around, too humiliated by your father’s words and the guilt. A part of you told you that you deserved it, that it was all your fault for not thinking about the consequences of your acts, but another part told you that no one should deserve any punishment for trying to be free and do what they really want.

“And you…” you heard your father’s voice behind you. “You will be punished for kidnaping my daughter and forcing her to go on that stupid expedition with you.”

“Your Highness, we did nothing to deserve –“ Seunghoon said before a loud sound was heard in the room.

The boy took the punch of the guard on his stomach, the pain making him fall on his knees on the floor, right in front of the King.

“You shouldn’t speak to your King like that,” the guard said.

“What kind of modals should we expect from an ordinary farmer?” your father scoffed.

Anger ran through your veins and you balled your fists in anger. “They did nothing, father, it’s all my fault?”

“Do you want me to teach you the same lesson Kobe taught the farmer?” your father threatened you.

“No,” you murmured, lowering your head.

“Good,” your father said, nodding. “Because they will all pay the price for your mistake and I hope that will teach you a lesson you should had learnt long ago. Blood and honour is everything we have, you should have not played with that.”

You closed your eyes, feeling your father’s decision falling on your shoulders, the weight so heavy, you could even feel your legs trembling.

“They will all be escorted to the dungeons and tomorrow, they will be executed,” your father said in a stern tone.

You could hear the whole room whispering, the low cries of the boys behind you, their soft pleas. But you couldn’t say anything. It was as if your mind had went blank, completely blank.

“Your Highness, I beg you pardon, but… Don’t you consider it a bit excessive?” one of your father’s closest advisors said. “The boys are humble people, they are your people. The villagers will take it as an attack.”

“Don’t you consider excessive the fact that my only daughter and heir to the throne suddenly disappeared without leaving any traces and went away with those boys? She laughed at me, at her kingdom. The responsibility of their deaths will be hers,” your father said, leaving you even more speechless. “But, of course, we can’t let people know that she just ran away and laughed at her whole family and Kingdom. They think she was captured and forced to follow them to use her money, let them keep thinking that. She has already dishonoured our family enough.”

“Of course, your Highness,” the advisor said, bowing at your father, not daring to contradict his King in case he would suffer the same fate as the other men.

“Tomorrow at dawn they will be executed for treason to their Kingdom, and treason to the crown,” your father said, pronouncing the verdict.

That’s when you fell on your knees in front of your father, your hands grabbing desperately his velvet clothes. You looked at him with tears falling down your cheeks and blurry vision.

“No, father please, it’s my fault not theirs,” you pleaded. At that point you didn’t care about your pride or honour, you didn’t care about of humiliating yourself in front of everyone because you had already been humiliated enough. “Please, punish me, execute me, but not them. They did nothing, they didn’t even know who I really was.”

“I know,” your father simply said, looking at you as if you were nothing.

“Then let them return to their homes, they won’t tell anything to anyone. And we will tell that the real kidnappers were captured and executed, please.”

“Oh, I forgot one thing,” he said, ignoring you. “They will be executed at the plaza of the village, so everyone can see who the responsible were.”

“My Highness, that is a primitive act. We don’t execute anyone in front of the whole village anymore, your people will – “

“They will learn a lesson, Toru,” your father interrupted his advisor. “The will learn that the crown is still strong and powerful, and that they should not mess with it.”

“But – “

“Enough,” your father cut him off.

“Father, please…” you pleaded once again, pulling from his clothes.

He freed himself from you with a harsh movement, his eyes full of disgust as he looked at you.

“I said enough. Everything’s done, everything’s decided,” he said. “Bring them to the dungeons and set everything up for tomorrow.”

“No! Please!” you shouted when you saw the guards grabbing your friends and dragging them out of the main hall. “Father!”

“Take her to her chamber!” your father ordered to your maids.

One tried grabbing your arm, but you stood up and tried running towards Hoseok, who was being dragged by two guards as he looked at you. He wasn’t screaming, nor was he crying. He was just staring at you.

“Hoseok!” you shouted, reaching one of the guards and trying to push him off of him.

“Take her to her chamber!!” your father repeated.

“Hoseok! No!” you shouted once again, but this time, the pair of hands that grabbed your shoulders weren’t soft and delicate like your maid’s, they were strong, and they tore you away from Hoseok. “NO! It’s not their fault! It’s mine! Punish me! Father!”

“I’m already punishing you,” your father said indifferently, walking towards his throne to continue his matutine discussions with his advisors. “Now, take her to her chambers for once.”

You cried, you tried punching the guard that was dragging you out of the main hall too, but away from Hoseok.

As the guard charged with your body, your eyes searched for Hoseok, your hands tried to reach out to him and your legs tried kicking the guard on his stomach. But it was all to no avail.

For the last time, your eyes landed on Hoseok’s, which where looking at you from across the hall.

Realisation hit you hard and you suddenly remembered. You remembered your ninth birthday. You remembered him and his beautiful cake. You remembered wanting to eat it because, indeed, you loved strawberries, but your father had told you that you were getting too fat for a princess and that you shouldn’t eat too much. You remembered looking at him and getting mesmerized by his beautiful smile and glowing aura. You remembered thinking he was one of the most beautiful boys you had ever seen, more beautiful than any prince you had ever met, and you remembered thinking his cake was the most appetizing cake you had ever seen. But you had to say no, and so you did.

You remembered seeing his smile fall, his glowing aura faltering, and all because of you.

And now, thirteen years later, you were observing his heart breaking, his eyes darkening and his glowing aura disappearing all over again, at the same place you had first seen him – and again, all because of you.

Back then, you hadn’t known he would be the only man you would ever love, but now, it was the only thing you were sure of.

. . .

The castle had always looked scary to you at night.

Darkness and silence surrounded it, making you feel like a ghost as you walked down its corridors in your white nightgown. The statues created eerie shadows on the floor, the paintings of your ancestors remained on the walls, their eyes following your every movement.

After all those years of slipping away from the castle without anyone noticing, you had learnt every single corridor and where it lead, every room and every passageway.

You just had to go to the kitchen without anyone noticing and then, slip into the trapdoor behind the pantry and climb down some steps.

You had only been at the dungeons once before. You had been playing hide and seek with your cousins when you had found that trapdoor behind the pantry. You hid in the dungeons for five minutes and those had been the worst five minutes of your life.

It smelled like humidity; the air was dense and thick, really cold. You could only hear the sounds of the droplets of water that fell from the ceiling and towards the ground. The dim light was provided by small candles that hung from the walls.

Grabbing one of the candles from a wall, you looked at the guard who was facing the front door. Only a few people knew about the passageways of the castle, and your father’s guards weren’t one of those “few people”.

In silence, you walked through the dungeons guided by the dim light that your candle provided you.

You had overheard two guards speaking about Hoseok. After your scene at the main hall that same day, your father had kept Hoseok in the most secluded area of the dungeons, away from the guards, the other prisoners, and away from the rest of the world.

Luckily for you, your father didn’t know about the pantry passageway and, therefore , he didn’t know that the easiest way to access to that secluded area of the dungeons was through that same passageway.

You found Hoseok in a cell at the end of the dungeons. It was only lit by your candle as you approached it.

He was sitting on the ground, his back resting against the stone wall, his head hidden in between his legs and arms. He looked so vulnerable.

You held your tears and swallowed. You couldn’t get emotional right then and there.

“Hoseok,” you whispered, approaching him.

He snapped his head up and looked at you with a frown on his face.

It was dirty and pale. He really looked like the ghost of the boy he once was.

“Y/N…” he called you. By your name. For the first time ever since he had discovered who you really were. But he noticed what he had done too, and he tensed. “What are you doing here?”

You searched in the pockets of your nightgown. As you crouched on the floor, its white and delicate ends got dirty from the water on the floor.

“I am going to get you out of here,” you whispered, carefully looking behind you to make sure no one had discovered you.

You got one of your gold hairclips out of your pocket. Placing the candle of the floor, you bent the thin object until you got something similar to a straight line.

“You can’t just get me out of here,” he whispered, seeing you raising the bent hairclip and inserting it into the keyhole of the door.

“I can, and I will,” you said in a hushed voice. “And now keep quiet or the guard will end up hearing us.”

Hoseok stayed quiet for a bit, observing you as you tried to open his cell door with your hairclip.

His hand suddenly came up from in between the iron bars and grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“You can’t get me out of here,” he repeated in between clenched teeth.

You were the one who frowned then.

“What’s going to happen to the rest?” he asked.

You gulped down and tore his hand away from your wrist. You knew what would happen to Seunghoon, to Minho, to Jinwoo… To Yeongsu. You wished you could somehow turn into a super warrior and free all of them, but you couldn’t. You weren’t just a princess, or a noble girl, or an explorer, or a selfish girl… You were a person, a girl, a human being. And you couldn’t save them all.

You kept trying to unlock the door with your hairclip. You had never tried to open a cell door with one of those, and you didn’t even know if it worked, but you had once hear a maid that, with a hairclip, there was no door that could not be open.

“Y/N, stop,” Hoseok pleaded you, trying to stop you once again from opening the cell door. “Stop, please.”

“We have no time, Hoseok…”

“Stop,” he repeated, making you stop and look at him. “What are you doing?”

You rolled your eyes. It was not the time to get sarcastic.

“What do you think I’m doing Hoseok?”

“That’s not what I meant. What are you doing?” he asked once again.

You blinked, looking at him confusedly.

“What are you doing? Saving me? And what about the others?”

“I can only save one, and I chose to save you,” you answered, looking at him in the eye defiantly.

“Why?”

“Are you really asking me that question?”

“Yeah, I am really asking you that question,” he said, letting go of your wrists and taking a deep breath. “Why are you risking your life for mine? If your father finds out you’ve – “

“I don’t care,” you said, interrupting him, shrugging as you kept trying to unlock the door.

“It’s not time for trying to be heroic.”

“I could say the same thing to you,” you said, looking at him.

With a low click, the lock budged, and the door opened. You then stood up, looking at Hoseok with pleading eyes.

“Please, I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’m saving you because I love you,” your confession was whispered on the cold air of the dungeons as Hoseok stared at you with questioning eyes. “Because the pain that would cause me to lose you would be worst than the pain that my father can inflict me.”

Hoseok shook his head but stood still on the threshold of the door, his eyes on yours.

“After all the pain that I’ve caused you, the only way I can amend my mistakes is by doing this. Maybe I’m being selfish once again, but I couldn’t live another day knowing that I was the cause of your broken dreams and hopes. This is what I want, what I need.”

He stared at you, and you stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, but not an eternity big enough for the two of you. With glowing eyes in the dark, you told each other how you would have liked to spend that big eternity with each other, how instead, you would spend your small eternities missing the other.

He didn’t say anything, he just took one step closer to you and got out of the cell.

When he was fully out of the cell, you closed the door behind him and grabbed the candle from the floor.

“C’mon, follow me, we have no time to lose,” you said, walking towards the passageway.

Hoseok didn’t speak through the entire walk towards the stables, nor did he ask anything. He was just observing you as he walked behind you in complete silence.

Once you were safe at the corridor that lead towards the stables, you relaxed a bit and smiled.

“Hey, it’s the first time that I’m leading you somewhere and not the other way around,” you said, looking at him as you opened the door towards the stables.

He sent you a tense smile and you felt a pang of pain in your chest, turning back around and hiding your disappointment.

“This is it,” you said, pointing at a caramel brown horse that was quietly looking at you both.

You had already prepared its reins and the rest of the equipment.

“His name is Oak,” you said, patting the animal’s neck. “He’s good and brave, he will obey you and follow you wherever you go, he’s very loyal.”

Hoseok patted Oka’s neck too, his eyes never leaving you.

Trying to keep your mind occupied not to crumble down, you kept preparing Hoseok’s equipment. You had filled a bag with food, clothes and whatever you had found that Hoseok could use.

“Here, you have food for almost a week, and a pair of clean blouses and trousers,” you said, handing him the sack.

He grabbed it, hanging it from his back.

You both stayed in silence as you fastened the reins.

“What will happen to you?” he asked.

You snapped your head towards him, surprised by his question.

Frowning, you thought about a good answer. “I guess I don’t know. What will happen to you?”

He looked at you, serious. And then, he smiled softly. “I guess I don’t know”

You smiled shyly too, lowering your gaze a bit. Hoseok had been right when he had told you about destiny. He was the son of a baker, you were a princess, you both had different lives, different destinies. They had crossed at some point, and now, it was where they separated themselves once again.

Suddenly, Hoseok placed his hands on both sides of your face tenderly, and taking a step closer towards you, he closed the gap in between your bodies and placed his lips on top of yours.

As he started kissing you, you placed your hands on top of his, caressing them for the last time.

His lips tasted like salt, like tears. They tasted like stars, like autumn leaves and snowflakes. He tasted like late-night conversations by the bonfire as you both stood guard and spoke about your dreams for the future. They tasted like goodbye and they tasted like the future together you would never be able to have.

When his lips parted from yours, you were breathless.

He wiped away the tears from your cheeks that you didn’t even know that had fallen and, pressing his forehead to yours he whispered a low “I love you”.

“You should get going before they find out,” you said, distancing yourself from him.

He nodded and climbed on top of the horse.

Sighing, you grabbed the reins of the horse and lead it towards the exit. The night air welcomed you both. It was a cold March night.

“I’m not mad at you,” he said, looking at you with that intense stare of his. “I don’t hold any grudge against you. Deep inside… I get why you did what you did, I understood why you lied to me. You wanted to feel normal, to feel human…”

Your eyes widened, and he swore he had never seen anything so beautiful as he looked at your glossy eyes under the moonlight.

“I guess that’s what we all do at the end of the day… We try to feel normal, human, despite our social status, our age, our personality… We just want to love and be loved,” he said, smiling at you.

“I know I hurt you Hoseok, but you have to believe me when I tell you it was not my intention,” you said.

“I believe you, now I do. Not because of what you did tonight, but because I know you love me, I think I’ve always known. They way you look at me, the way you touch me… You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. That expedition was the best thing that has happened to me and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.”

You smiled, hot tears falling down your cheeks.

“Me neither,” you whispered, your words being carried away by the wind.

He held his hand out for you to grab it, and when you did, he pulled from it and lowered down until he was kissing you once again. His lips were more passionate than before, more eager.

When he parted, you both looked at each other. Sadness overfilling your bodies, your hearts breaking, your limbs going numb.

“Please, swear you’ll never forget me,” you pleaded, kissing his knuckles.

“Please, swear we’ll see each other again,” he answered, his eyes searching four yours, both knowing that he was wishing an impossible thing.

With a sad smile on your lips, you started walking away from him, walking away from the man you would forever love.

And just when your hand was about to slip from his, he grabbed it with more strength and stopped you.

“Come with me, run away with me like we had planned before everything happened,” he whispered.

At his words, more tears rolled down your cheeks. “I can’t.”

“Why? Just mount another horse and run away with me,” he pleaded.

“If I do so, my father would never stop looking for us, he will never leave us alone and we’ll never have that peaceful life we both wanted. If you go on your own, my father won’t even bother sending a guard after you, probably spreading word that you died at the dungeons from your wounds,” you said. “It’s easier this way.”

“But your father will know that you were the one who set me free and helped me escape,” he whispered. “He will kill you.”

You shook your head. “Don’t think about that, go away Hoseok.”

“Y/N…”

“Go away!” you sobbed, smacking the horse harshly on his backside.

With a loud neigh, the animal jumped a bit before galloping down the green fields of the castle.

You stood there, in the darkness, surrounded by the cold wind and the pain of your broken hopes and broken dreams.

As Hoseok disappeared in the distance, his eyes never leaving yours, you watched your dreams disappear with him, your youth, your hopes, your heart.

And you wondered if he would remember you, if he would still love you even when he was old and happy, and you were nothing but a distant memory to him and the rest of the world, when your name had lost itself into the past and your face was nothing but a blurry image to him. You wondered if he would ever walk down the Three Seasons path again in hopes of remembering you, in hopes of remembering how, once upon a time, you both fell in love with each other.

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