today is holocaust remembrance day. without ifs or buts and without condition.
today we remember all the Jewish people, the Rromani people, the physically and mentally disabled, political prisoners, queer people, journalists and activists, intellectuals and writers and artists, and all the common people, every single person that lost their lives or loved ones or a part of themselves to Nazifascism.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
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no but literally we need to take Prowler Miles away from these 20 something year old white women until they stop making him their “gangsta boo” just because he has cornrows and is the Prowler 😭😭 yall don’t even try to hide your disgusting feelings and attitude towards a young black kid and it’s honestly sickening. Why is he all of a sudden a toxic boyfriend? Why is he all of a sudden borderline or downright abusive to people? Why is the 15 year old black latino boy, that we know next to nothing about, all of a sudden fitting the worst stereotypes for black/latino men? Do you have any legitimate reasons for any of this besides, “he seems like the type?” Because you know what that sounds like, right? And i can’t even filter these out for my own peace of mind because you don’t tag your shit properly.
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question.
and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost.
Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half."
All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
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every single explanation for why mikey wasn't decrepit but was covered in blood is insane like
he's a vampire and is draining the other three of youth
it was for his own safety. if he went on stage in all his 2005 scene queen half of jersey all of warped tour glory the seismic shockwave of two dozen nostalgia bait emo bandman dissolving their marriages for a chance with that sopping wet twink would have levelled nevada
bad ending where instead of the band breaking up and mikey getting help they drag the band's shambling corpse around until mikey dies young. pulling back the curtains on how unhappy and unhealthy they all were during the era that wwwyf is trying to capitalize off. you want us to keeping going back to 2005 for the sake of your nostalgia? okay mikey's fucking dead now (makes me unbelievably upset to consider but exactly the kind of shit they'd pull)
he died in normandy
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reblog or <horrific thing will happen to parent>
reblog to get <specific amount of money>
reblog for <luck and something about a crush>
reblog if you aren’t <racist, homophobic, etc>
reblog or else <terrible tragedy happens>
reblog if you care about <obviously a good cause but is baiting you to look like a horrible person if you don’t reblog it>
SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP
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c'mere for a second, i need for you to look at this.
Yes, there he be. But I want you to notice something about this cell.
There's no bed. Y'know? No room for one.
But that table, the one the roses are on? That looks like it could be a night table. It's got flowers and a photo frame on it. That's almost certainly a nightstand. I don't see how it could be anything else.
He has to have a bed in there, right?
We're seeing this image from Phoenix's perspective.
So in case you haven't noticed it yet, let me spell it out for you.
Phoenix is sitting on Kristoph's bed.
Is that not the only possible place it could be in this cell? Do you want to tell me I'm wrong about this? Think it over first.
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Out of the (unfortunately) many One Piece scenarios bouncing around in my head one of my favorites is Zoro getting hit with the memory loss beam, and only remembering up until like. immediately after Morgan’s defeat. He’s agreed to join up Luffy and is already feeling his heart swell with loyalty, but is still under the impression that he’s going to join up to a much larger crew, with several other members.
So he just blinks awake and at first there’s none of the confusion and yelling that comes with the memory loss trope, he’s okay, he’s banged up cause of Morgan, he’s on a boat because he just became a pirate, and oh hey Luffy’s right there. This must be his new crew.
Hey, um, is that skeleton playing the violin.
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Thinking a little bit about that one "I'm an English major and a professional as opposed to you amateurs" anon. Gonna roast 'em a little bit, but with the intention of addressing a thing we've had in mind for a while.
Real talk, coming from someone who WAS an English major; majoring in English is not necessarily a guarantee that someone is a good writer. For one, you can be bad at your major, full stop. For another, it's not even a guarantee that someone identifies as a writer to begin with. English as a major is pretty broad, and it covers reading too, among other things. There's library science, analytical academia, historical preservation & interpretation (MEDIEVAL MANUSCRIPTS HELL YES), editing, nonfiction trades (often crosses over with STEM majors), marketing (crosses over with business majors), and also book design and typography (<3 <3 <3 our favorite, crosses over with art majors).
Someone can major in English and take a specific minor with the goal of falling into a trade that is not writing literary fiction. In fact, we would argue that most people who get something useful out of their major are the ones that do that.
It's also worth noting that it's possible to be an English major focused on "lowbrow" fiction. There are people who major in English and use the experience towards the end of writing erotica. There are people who major in English with the intent to write genre fiction. There are people who major in English to study the history and social context of fanfiction.
These things are, in fact, worthy fields of study! The realm of the "amateur" is the realm where a lot of cultural conversations and innovations happen!
Expecting English as a major to be a tract specifically for producing acclaimed literary fictionists is not realistic, not how the discipline typically works, and it's certainly not a thing you can use to hold over other writers' heads. It is perfectly possible for people to write good things (professional-grade things even) without ever touching a college course.
I sat through so much bad writing in college. Technically bad, thematically bad, gramatically bad. And I routinely bump into non-graduate authors who write texts, formal and informal alike, that blow my own writing clean out of the water with their quality.
In short, dismissing other people in your general field as "amateurs" who are beneath you is an incredibly unprofessional thing to do.
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somehow managed to make matthias look even more bitchy
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I love how that person who was like "oh ew a Zionist" also has reblogged posts about not being antisemitic and buying into antisemitic conspiracies while ALSO like.
Reblogging posts about how Israel is a uniquely evil "colonial scar" and how Israel is "murdering children" and like. Literally straight up antisemtic shit.
Leveling criticism at Israel that positions it as a unique evil among all other countries and doing literal blood libel (IE, Israel murders Palestiaian babies in a way no other nation kills children) is FUCKING ANTISEMITIC. Israel is JUST A COUNTRY. It is JUST another nation, doing the shitty stuff that other nations do. And if you find yourself railing against Israel EXTRA hard right now, or ever, in ways that you do NOT rail against other shitty countries that do shitty things (and, I can't believe I have to say this, if you find yourself saying that the kidnap, rape, torture, and murder of any civilian ever is justified because "uwu this radical extremist group is freedom fighters"!) then you're a fucking antisemitic, racist bigot.
Like. It blows me away how so many people don't seem to see that Israel, the Jewish state (whether you agree with how it is run or not, whether you agree with how it came to be or not) gets SO MUCH MORE SHIT than other comparable shitty countries... Come on.
Because the alternative is that you DO see it. That you DO agree with all of those things that are STEEPED in age-old antisemitic conspiracy. And you agree.
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what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting.
not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women.
and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do.
acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house.
saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.
like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive?
"you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it.
if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right?
also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.
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