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#i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr

anothersadb1tch444 · 27 days

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PART 1 : "From strangers to friends Friends into lovers And strangers again?"

[this is my final goodbye piece. i want heal.]

i met a guy on Twitter, he randomly followed me one day and i saw that but didn't follow back... his account was an NSFW account. after scrolling and looking at his account trying to figure out who this was ... i listened to his audio... i liked his voice (I find voices attractive). so i then went on to compliment him in his DMs ( so odd bc i dont never DM people i don't know). i didn't think he would reply. however, he had now followed my private Twitter account as well. i didn't let him in as i didnt know him and that's a place for my friends. (I lose my mind and retweet cat pics all day). Anyway, he answered my messages and we got to talk it was so light and funny and easygoing. boom i could feel my guard sleeping down. i then after talking to him for what didn't feel like hours ( it was ) decided to let him into my private Twitter account. we started talking more and one thing led to the next i added him on Snapchat so we could (I'm embarrassed to say this) we could have phone s3x. it was fun, it was a rush and i did think that was that and we would move on. from one random day on the 5th of Feb 2024 it turned into 61 days of wholesome, funny sweet messages and calls with some lustful moments ... until it wasn't... ( to be continued )

#twitter #love #heartbreak #strangers to lovers #im hurtin #i will heal #hear my story #i loved him #he hurt me #heartbroken #learn a lesson #norman fucking rockwell #just a man #bojack horseman #Spotify

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the-nwrt-librarian · 3 years

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This is in response to the post made by @throwaway-account66 and in response to some of the comments I’ve seen getting thrown around lately...

To be honest, I don't think it's fair to say his gf was stirring the pot with speaking out about this. I think his gf broke up with him because she found out he continually manipulated her and took advantage of her trust. He lied to her and said he would stop engaging in sexual messages with fans. He didn't. We as listeners know how easy it was for him to deceive people. He was doing all of this deceptive bullshit without any of our knowledge. Todd deliberately went out of his way to cheat in a very secretive and shit way. He got a second phone so he could continue messaging fans behind her back. He made a secret Snapchat so he could sext these women. Todd was even messaging two of his previous exes. He knew exactly what he was doing and he didn’t care.

Also, the reason he ghosted was because some of the people he'd hurt were privately messaging him telling him what he did was wrong and then he left cause he didn't want to take accountability. He didn't decide to leave “just because” and then a bunch of people saw this as an opportunity to shit on him. He originally chose to hide from the truth getting out. To say that his gf let all of this happen is very unfair. His gf didn't know what he was doing at the time but what's important is that she felt the need to speak up after she learned. We know firsthand how easily this guy could smoothly talk his way into getting people to trust him. His gf spoke up about all of this because people deserved to know he used people and deceived listeners. Now I'm not saying he was a predator or any of the other outlandish claims but Todd had a certain level of responsibility to uphold. As a fairly big content creator (by GWA standards), he gained the trust, respect, and financial support of his audience by claiming to be someone who followed certain ethics. People respected his decision to not be in private contact with listeners cause it opens the door to unhealthy attachment and parasocial relationships. After finding out he lied about that, people are understandably upset.

Now I don’t fully disagree with what you have to say about DM-ing a total stranger. There are risks to that of course and you should be cautious. But let's take a moment and imagine you were one of the people Todd sexted with: You know he made public statements saying he didn't DM listeners. But he continued to message you after saying that. You might think your relationship was becoming something more serious if he was still choosing to keep communications with you. You don't know he's talking with other people or even has a gf. To your knowledge, you are the only one he still speaks to. I can certainly understand how that might give someone mixed signals. So of course, when you find out he’s a liar and using you to cheat, you might understandably feel manipulated. Also, one of the people Todd messaged had started speaking with him at the age of 18. And even though that is perfectly legal, from a moral standpoint I find it weird and very stupid. Even though 18 is of (barely) legal age, there is some common sense required to acknowledge that a teenage is still incredibly vulnerable to being manipulated especially by someone who's most likely in their late 20s/early 30s. I’m only in my early 20s but I am personally very uncomfortable with the idea of being sexual with someone that young. An 18 year old is just graduating high school. Meanwhile the person who’s in their late 20s/early 30s is a full fledged adult who pays bills and works a full-time corporate job. And it's also weird because Todd talked with this fan for the longest out of anyone else (4 years). She has deleted all her public statements about Todd but in her own words, she said that he was abusive and manipulative. Like guys, he literally made a joke about leaking her nudes in case people found out he was still talking to fans on the DL. That is not the kind of shit you joke about and if that had been me, I would’ve been scared out of my fucking mind. It takes a lot of courage to speak out against someone who hurt you. Especially a really big creator like Todd who has fans who would defend him no matter what just because they miss the audios. It is not easy to say the things that people will inevitably attack you for saying. So I don't blame people for not being able to come out and say something sooner.

Ngl I'm getting annoyed with people who keep saying his gf should've known better or done more. We don't know the full extent of his manipulations. We don't don't know the exact details of their relationship nor do we deserve that info. I think it's really easy for people to judge and make criticisms when they didn't actually experience what she went through. Being an outside observer of a toxic relationship is so different from actually living it. Can we please stop acting like the gf or any of the fans he messaged are the ones who should be taking all accountability? Todd was the actual cheater who started all of this. He was the one who ruined his relationships with people (his gf, his friends in the audio community, listeners) by building them off of lies. So then why are people still choosing to criticize the victims of his fuck-ups?

#notwhorosethinks #nwrt

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whats-the-story-tc · 4 years

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25th-28th of May

"The One with the Companion"

Monday morning started off with a couple of interesting text messages. I spoke to the underclassman girl again I mentioned here, and we had yet another V-related talk session, singing her praises as a teacher. Soon after, V herself showed up in the class chat, probably before her morning coffee, telling us that if her general Classroom message informing those who were late to submit their works on time does not apply to us, we shouldn't be messaging her about it. Passive-aggressive :) at the end included. Somebody must really hate Mondays.

That night, I also posted a couple selfies on one of my social media sites. When I did, I got the following DM from an underclassman guy I barely even speak to (the earlier girl's classmate), saying:

Boy: "On the third photo you look a lot like [V's last name] 😅🤣🤣"

Further proof that I wasn't lying all those times I said V and I have the same face. Basically everybody sees it now. :D

Along came Tuesday. Class day. Encouraged by a voice message earlier this month where my friend was just trying to demonstrate she can't hear the background noises as V was talking and she captured about ~10 seconds of her voice, I got brave. Plus, I knew it would benefit me, because I could take notes later at my own pace (yes I actually did), so... I went ahead and decided to voice record the class, playing the audio from my laptop and recording with my phone, so I couldn't speak to her this time. Thus, the conversation I was teasing here never took place, no matter how much I prepared. She didn't even mention what happened. But on to class we go.

Nature and poetry, pretty chill topic, especially with a poet who keeps talking about the great big fucking plains over and over again, as that's become the "signature landscape of [our country]", according to V, signature being said in English. She herself has expressed her dismay by saying "I don't know whose imagination is moved by a big flat plain with nothing in it." Though this only happened after "Uhh... where is it? ... oh, this is only a description [of the poem]! I'm helpless...". As video killed the radio star, we might say that online school has turned tech expert V into a boomer real quick.

As we discussed a couple poems, V had a go at the choice of topic again, saying: "I don't know about you, but I'm totally done with summer heat waves, like, on a plain without any shade." May I just say? Same, Miss. But soon after, she turned poetic, and it's such a good quote that I have to share this with you.

"A landscape isn't necessarily beautiful, it may be really-really depressing as well, or trigger thoughts that say that the way things currently are in the world are not okay."

Anyway, we kept on talking about "the great damn plains where there really isn't a thing in the world" which "don't strike the spectator as challenging" (she was really bored already), class soon ended. As I said earlier, this was the only class we've had during quarantine where there was zero communication between the two of us. But here's the interesting part: I wasn't the only one who noticed. "I hope I didn't bore you to death", V said nervously, before signing off. She noticed something was off, even though she didn't specifically say it. I may be reaching here, in fact, I'm pretty sure I am, but I still can't help but think she noticed I was quiet.

Thing is: that afternoon, things weren't going nearly so well. I went for a run, and got a really heavy anxiety attack. I simply didn't know how to turn my thoughts off. And then I realised. V. I had 45 minutes' worth of her voice at hand. I had to give it a try. As soon as I heard her speak, as I tried to focus on the landscape poems and pay attention to what she was talking about, I calmed down. I felt like I was no longer alone. Plus, even if V tends to fuck around at times, this is exactly what I love about her: her intelligence. Last week (as in, the 26th of July), me and my friends concluded in a conversation that listening to her classes is like listening to a good podcast. She just... speaks so well, and knows what the important details are, even if in private conversations she tends to be real fucken awkward. Bless. Also there's the fact that her voice is really pleasant to listen to. You guys, I lucked out so hard with this woman.

Anyway, on to Wednesday. V only actually showed up in the morning, to give us (or, well, me at the very least) a good scare with the date of our final test of the year and some homework. Weird flex, but okay.

Thursday night. Blond Boy in the Back, the very one who dared to badmouth someone I love not long ago, is now begging me for homework answers. I told him I no longer have the document. And then... I snapped.

BBitB: It's at the task.

S: You know what else is at the task? The answers. All of them, in the text. Good luck!

Naturally, I showed a screenshot of the conversation to the new and improved class group chat mentioned in the previous story post, when one of the girls said this:

Girl: This was a bit [V]-ish

Girl: Especially the good luck at the end 😂😂

S: I've had a great master, no doubt. 🤣

Because that's what she is. My number one master (if you take this weird I'll break your kneecaps). My mentor. Someone I will always look up to and someone who takes excellent care of me, even if I oftentimes misunderstand her. Someone I can turn to if I'm scared, even if it's just her voice playing off a recording. And I can't ever thank her enough for that.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush

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stcroiss · 5 years

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20.s3.e7 “Svitoya’s Forge”

Theres Supposed to be an audio file here.

https://jacobdavidearl.com/rathgar/20

In which The Horde climbs a mountain, finds a skeleton, and uncovers an ancient secret.

Our DM is Sasha Rose Hansen

The players, in alphabetical order:

Carbry - Bryn Ziegler

Gary - Rebecca Michelson

Renora - Tori Chancellor

Spencer Charlemagne - Jacob Earl

Tongs - Grayson Abele

We’re produced by Jacob Earl

Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through LateMoonRecords.com

Tune in next week at RathgarsHorde.com and as always, we may be cursed, but I promise will make it through alive.

twenty

Out of Sdelka! We encountered some wolves but the giant cast a spell and we snuck on past. Eventually we hit upon a sign made of iron, pointing up the mountain and inscribed with the words: “Svitoyas Forge” with a little arrow pointing off to a lesser path.

As we went I was looking for a magic plant that I could maybe give to the giant to make something with, but I quickly realized I don’t know any plants. I did find this, it was sort of glowing in a cool way :

And when I gave it to the giant they gave me back an idea of some healing plants to look out for, from their own notes.

The golem has learnt how to send messages across space & time — we hit up the bard but he didn’t (couldn’t?) give us a clue as to where he is. I had a thought that we could contact the little boy I scared on the spire of sleep and get him to lead all the children over to the spire of the innocents where they could have a good life, but the golem seemed reluctant, maybe because he didn’t want to lead a bunch of children on a different planet to their death on the promise of a better life.

At camp we read the smoke-gazers diary to little effect, and the giant got a hot tip on some kind of spooky pond from a tree. The monk woke me up before my watch by knocking me out of my hammock — she did not listen _at all & chased off after some sprites that passed by.

The monk started bowing & waving and talking to these warriors, then she called them “pretty” and started demanding things! The sprites closest to me said that the only scary things around are them. We traded some shells & a rabbits foot for “safe passage” which, all things considered, I’m counting as a success. We eventually hit this crazy little pool, with a huge stone statue of a skeleton standing under a waterfall. The water is very cold, and exceptionally clear. It felt like a church.

The demon and the golem made some kind of circlet and cooled it in the pool, I dipped my knife in and it didn’t freak out, whatever this is its not a portal to the faewild. I meditated and it was nice! It’s a calming spot. We camped on the shore and in the morning got back on track — I made 1 coffee (me) 2 teas (giant, demon) 2 waters (monk, golem) and the monk wanted the used grounds? What the hell could she want those for.

As we followed the path here became giant statues with signs around their necks in many languages all saying “Thieves Beware”. I tried to teach the golem the language of his god but I’m not sure any of it sunk in.

Svitoya’s Forge is a town made of metal, populated by people in headscarves and smoked glass goggles. The main road leads to a big building that’s some kind of civic palace. I just knocked on the door and we were let in to meet “The Mother” who is the leader of the town. Two notes: “we welcome any honest newcomers” and “metal for metal” both are the watchwords of this little world. They seemed willing to trade almost anything for more iron, it’s the main object there. It will become clear why in a moment. The golem and the demon went off to talk to some local expert about what the golem IS while the giant and I went to the library to talk to a local historian. She told me the little shard in the bottle I found so long ago is a shard of a shattered enchanted object, so far from whole it floats. Maybe its other parts are on a different plane? She then told the giant and me the story of the town, which I have included here in an abridged form:

First mother, name lost, Sdelkan daughter of artisans. Travelled in caravans — Beauty and skill grew with age, more interested in craft than love. Specialized in toys, mechanism. Her skill became the best in the world, which she travelled restlessly. Bold, she went to the Kingdom of Winter in Zamerzot, land of the immortal Fae. The fae court loved her work and she made many automata for them, and she was content for a long time. The King, the Archfae, offered her immortality, to stay in court with them forever, but she had grown lonely and restless and had decided to leave. Enraged, the Archfae cursed her to be unchanging, and so fearsome to look upon that anyone with whom she shared eye contact became forever unchanging. She had escaped, but was outcast. So she settled on the side of a volcano and, to be safe, built her settlement of iron, a metal the fae despise. She continued her work, and travellers came from all over to learn. One such person was a traveller named Kendra, and the two fell in love and started a family, safe in the iron embrace of Svitoyas Forge.

I also learnt that a miserable, out of control woman on a thunderbird blew through town a few weeks ago. I thought I didn’t have anything to trade for that information, but I remembered twenty minutes ago that I do, that I could tell the historian the location of the cursed sword from which I freed the golem. We slept in an inn and the golem made a metal violin out of magic, and the demon mounted my tiny diamond into a stylus. The golem traded the violin to his local expert for a mechanical Salamader, and the knowing of the Sning, which we can now work. Then we headed up the volcano to the peak where—

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soraenun-archive · 2 years

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[i stand in front of the mirror doing random poses until i spot a camera behind me] Oh hiii :) i didn't see you there. how have you been doing bestie? <3 good i hope :D (see? my threats are very convinving lmao)

yeah totally! i've never really told anyone, apart from my mom, that i watch it and enjoy the sport because there's this cliché that girls can't play it nor enjoy it for a reason :( which is stupid anyway 🙄 thanks for acting clueless around me. the help is greatly appreciated hihi

of course i remembered! our conversations are one of the highlights of my day so i am reminded of you when we talk about something and i see it on my dash. i did listen to the song, but only watched the mv teaser. yeri's short bob wig is gorgeous and all the black and white looks are amazing. overall, the song's good. it's, imo, better than feel my rhythm. the thing is, when i saw it was part of their first full japanese album (or idk how they called it), i was a bit thrown off when they included all their previous japanese releases in the mix. it felt very lazy to do so. i would've prefered if it was a single or mini-album with a few other new japanese songs. anyway, sorry for the little ramble. i was just skeptical when i saw it and wanted to share it with you. what did you think of wildside and the rest of the album? i just went to check and all the new japanese songs on bloom (their album) are not available on spotify at the moment. weird...

i agree with you on rugby. i tried to watch a game and couldn't go through till the end. it's really violent and i got bored ngl :(

i just said it for the fun of the message. i didn't actually being taking singing classes hehe. sorry for tricking you

question of the day: what are your favourite kpop releases of 2022 thus far? maybe i could listen to new music?

[i give you a letter where the following inscription is written] HEY BESTIE! PLEASE TAKE CARE AND HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER [end of message]

from 🐘 anon

📸 hiii bestie <3 i’ve been pretty good just very tired bc i do not sleep enough which i think you probably relate to i remember the one message where u sounded so tired :( i hope we can both get some rest! 💓💞

that’s so sweet :( i think i prefer feel my rhythm which i’m surprised at but i’m in my cute songs era right now! but i agree the black and white looks were <3 and yeri looked gorgeous with the short hair ! and yeah i know what you mean! i think there’s still 5 original songs though and i think this is considered their first full album so it makes sense to put all their japanese releases onto one album i think! yess wildside was released but the full album doesn’t come out until april 6th!! i’ve heard some of the audio snippets though and i really like the sound of marionette and colour of love!!

oh no that’s okay! i just thought it would be rude of me not to ask if u actually had been <3 though i’m sure your voice is lovely all the same!💕

ohh there’s sooo many like maybe too many to list but i’m going to anyway because i love to talk! okay so all the comebacks/debuts i love from 2022 so far just mentioning title tracks because if we got into bsides we would be here all day. also this is in release order i think or it should be jakshda

kep1er - wa da da, p1harmony - do it like this, wjsn chocome - super yuppers, enhypen - blessed cursed, onlyoneof - skinz, fromis9 - dm, jinjin & rocky - breath, yena - smiley, pentagon - feelin’ like, viviz - bop bop!, stayc - run2u, billlie - gingamingayo, rocket punch - chiquita, who - moonbin & sanha, wei - too bad, kim wooseok - switch, red velvet - feel my rhythm, nct dream - glitch mode

i might have missed some but i checked a list of releases and wrote down everything i liked so far! also u might think some of these (skinz) are bad but that's okay because i love them (skinz) <3 you probably know some of these already but if any of them are new to you and u give them a listen i hope you like them!

thank you for the letter i will keep it safe forever <3 i hope you have a really nice day too!!!💗💖

#anonymous #💌#🐘💌

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keepingupwithlinmanuel · 7 years

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Dessa on How Lin-Manuel Miranda's Collaboration 'Almost Like Praying' Represents 'Power of Music'

In between writing her first proper hardcover book and recording her follow-up to 2013’s critically-acclaimed Parts of Speech LP, Dessa spoke with Billboard about how “Almost Like Praying” came to be, how her relationship with Miranda has grown, and why it’s important to keep working towards aid and relief in Puerto Rico.

How did “Almost Like Praying” come about?

The song, the accompanying video and the enormous relief effort that it’s a part of was the brainchild of Lin-Manuel Miranda. Seeing that the response to the Puerto Rican crisis was really unimpressive from the federal government, he stepped up in this really amazing way, to spearhead an initiative to help, and to help really fast.

I got a text from Lin saying that he was assembling a group of Latin artists to record a track, and I’d seen on Twitter that he was working on something and staying up late to do it. In record time -- it was really a whirlwind of hours, not weeks -- he was able to assemble this star-studded powerhouse lineup of artists, who all agreed to be part of the recording process. Lin wrote the lyrics that pay deference to all of the towns in Puerto Rico.

In my opinion, he wrote a really catchy song in its own right. Then, he helped distribute small parts of those lyrics to all of the artists that he recruited. Some artists recorded in their home studios or in their professional studios and then e-mailed Lin the audio. The artists who were in New York, some of us went to Atlantic studios to record there.

...

You recently wrote about a moral obligation to speak on that federal response to Puerto Rico. What moved you to write that?

I try to be mindful, and I try to be careful of the fact that a platform has to be used responsibly. You want to understand an issue before you make a call to action for others, but the need in Puerto Rico seems so very clear. It’s not a complicated issue. People are thirsty, people are hungry, and people need shelter.

This isn’t a complicated economic knot, at the moment, to be unraveled. It’s an issue of immediate human need. I was really moved, impressed and heartened by the response that Lin was able to spearhead.

It was an honor to be a part of and to do whatever I can to spread the news of that need with the people who listen to the work that I make, knowing that every other artist on that track is also sharing the news of that need.

Who were some of the musicians that spoke to you the most when you first heard the final track?

Oh my God! Of course, I was floored by global legitimate superstars like J.Lo and Marc Anthony saying “Yes!” Right? That was exciting. But I listened to Rita Moreno and Juan Luis Guerra, who I listened to as an elementary schooler, you know? Like [Guerra’s] “Ojalá Que Llueva Café.” His songs are familiar from childhood!

It was thrilling, moving and awe inspiring, of course. It allowed me to make a giddy phone call to my mom to say, “Look at all these people who are part of this project, who answered Lin’s call within 24 hours!”

How did she respond?

Oh, you know. Everybody, my whole Puerto Rican side, was like, “Aaeeuuh!” Just an insane vowel sound. It was exciting! Also, I sent note of it right away to my aunt and grandmother from my Puerto Rican side to make sure that I did the couple of lines that Lin gave me just right. “Does this sound right? Okay, cool!” I wanted to honor those place names well, so I sent a video to my grandmother, so she could listen and give me the thumbs up.

You’ve worked with Lin before on 2016’s “Congratulations” off The Hamilton Mixtape. How did you initially meet and how did that collaborative connection grow?

Initially, we were connected online. I sent him a DM on Twitter and that was our point of contact. Later, I got to see the show, Hamilton, in New York. I was ready for some amazing world-class performative talent, and the great costumes and choreography, but I had not braced myself for the crazy, tragic, moving love story that’s also embedded in Hamilton.

I was really impressed and I was really moved by that love story. After that, I got to meet Lin, we chatted a bit, and then a few months after that, I ended up getting a call for “Congratulations,” which was a really exciting call to get. I did a victory dance in my apartment. I worked on that song with my fellow cohort in Doomtree, Lazerbeak, and the producer Andy Thompson. We were all pleased with how that came out. Lin’s team seems to be happy and we were really proud too.

Not everybody gets to DM him, so I’m assuming he was familiar with your work, too?

Yeah. I can’t even say to what extent, because I don’t want to overstate it and be wrong, but somebody alerted me to the fact that, in one of the many playlists he created online, one of my songs was included. So, I was at least a blip somewhere on the radar. Lin’s ascent has been amazing, obviously, and everybody knows it, but I don’t think I realized quite how meteoric it was, when I sent him that DM. I was like, “Oh my God!” after having received his response.

What does it mean that a track with such a giving purpose and message, debuted as the week’s top-selling song?

Without being overly sentimental, I really do think it speaks to the amassed power of music. Not every benefit endeavor works as well as this one did, but Lin did an amazing job both in the music and in assembling this superstar team, and planning really, really well, to activate the machinery of the music industry.

He did all things beautifully, the art, the executive production, and the release plan, which was really great. He got partners, not only with people like Fat Joe and Marc Anthony, but also in Spotify. I couldn’t be more impressed with how hard he’s worked, how hard his dad worked, how much they got done in so few waking hours. I can’t stress that enough.

Even working at this indie level that I have, for so long, I know how long it takes, usually, to record, write, mix, master, create artwork, and release a song, even when you’re working really fast. The idea that he was able to do this so quickly, to create such a beautiful project with so many moving parts.

Also, people get it. Puerto Rico is not receiving the help that it needs. We’re not providing the resources for a swift and humane recovery and I think it’s likely because those people are far away and brown. You know? I think that probably contributes to our feet-dragging. But the fact that a private citizen can step up and make this enormous difference, can top the charts, can capture the attention of the music listening public with this important need, it’s personally reminded me how much a person can do when answering the moral call to action.

#lin manuel miranda #dessa #billboard #interviews #almost like praying #puerto rico #politics and advocacy #music #hamilton mixtape

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demiebby · 7 years

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Fuck Them Flower (Fuck) Boys [GRAY X OC [AMBW]]

Characters: London (OC), Lee Sunghwa/Gray, Kwon Hyukwoo/Loco, Jung Kiseok/Simon Dominic, and Park Jaebeom/Jay Park

Summary: Gray’s ex-girlfriend is an underground rapper and she has some unsettled things to settle with him. She throws his name in a diss, exposing their relationship and bad-mouthing his crew. Later he confronts his bitter ex-girlfriend in person and they release their anger out by fucking.

Warning: Swearing, minor violence, angry sex, slut-shaming

Hyukwoo was seated in the lobby of AOMG’s building. He was on his Instagram opening up DMS, liking posts, commenting on very few, and slyly stalking the profiles of fans. While he was on his phone fiddling around with the photo-sharing app, he felt an odd sensation in his gut. He didn’t know what it was, yet he paid the feeling no mind. Ignoring the tingle in his abdomen, the rapper exits from Instagram and goes onto his Kakao Talk. As soon as he opens it there’s a message from someone with the name “Livvy” followed by several fire emojis.

He stares at the username dumbfoundedly, his eyebrows creasing and lips frowning. The male mumbles questioningly before opening up the chat. There’s a link to a Youtube video after that the message, “Kekekekekekekeke Gray oppa Kekekeekekeke you son of a bitch How could you do this to her?????” A row of red-faced angry emojis.

Maybe the feeling in his gut was warning him about this.

The sound of people entering the room isn’t noticed by Hyukwoo. His stomach is in knots and his ears conceal the voices that are shouting his name. His thumb twitches as it hovers above the link to the video. A sudden shove to his left side has him falling on his back on the sofa. He snaps out from his trance and looks up at his attacker.

It’s Kiseok and with him is Jaebeom and… Sunghwa.

Kiseok barks out, “I’ve been calling your name what’s got in your ears Loco?” Jaebeom stands behind Kiseok nodding his head to agree with the elder.

Hyukwoo quickly apologizes as he sits upright and bows his head to the older man. “S-Sorry. I got caught up because someone sent me a thing about Gray hyung.”

Sunghwa is alert when he heard his name. He grunts and looks over Kiseok’s shoulder. “What about me?”

Hyukwoo’s heart pounds against his chest. His hands become clammy and he fiddles with his phone in his hand. His left hand scratches the side of his head; his eyes refusing to meet Sunghwa’s. Should he even tell the man? Should he tell him in front of their bosses? Hyukwoo swallows and holds up his iPhone the younger’s hand shaking.

There’s a sudden tension that absorbs the room. Kiseok and Jaebeom both stared at each other, the two men speculating on what was going on. Jaebeom’s eyes went to Sunghwa, who appeared to be piqued. Sunghwa wanted to know what in the hell Hyukwoo was leading this into.

“What,” Sunghwa grits through his teeth and he gently moves Kiseok aside to stand before Hyukwoo. The producer holds his hand out and the phone is placed in his grasp. “About me?” He snarls.

The younger ponders on his words; then he shakingly murmurs, “Someone sent me a message with a Youtube link.” When glowering eyes glared at him he immediately adds, “I didn’t open it, but it has something to do with you.”

As Sunghwa quickly unlocks Hyukwoo’s phone, Kiseok looks over his shoulder to glance at the phone’s screen. His eyes go to Hyukwoo, the younger staring at the ground, expression bleak. He turns his attention to the phone and the Youtube app loads up to a video.

Jaebeom huddles close to the phone, tilting his head to read the title, “London Fuck them Flower Boys” There was a bad feeling about this and he just knew it. From his perspective, it was obvious that the title was directed towards “flower boys”. Flower boys in their label, to him would have to be Gray and Loco. He had mentioned this when he was on the You Hee-yeol’s Sketchbook a while ago. Their fans known of Gray, Loco, and sometimes Elo to be “flower boys”.

The CEO put two and two together, coming to his own conclusion that this would have to be a diss towards Sunghwa. But for why? He didn’t have an answer for that. Jaebeom emits an anxious sigh, folding his arms behind his head. His foot taps on the floor periodically.

“Fuck man…” Jaebeom says under his breath and takes a few steps away from Sunghwa and Kiseok.

Before long Kiseok’s gritty voice snarls, “What the fuck is this?”

The video begins with the light tempo of a piano playing in the background. At the same time the piano plays the resonance of a phone ringing comes up. Soon a voice that the three men all knew answers, “Baby, you know I miss you so much.” The voice belonged to Sunghwa.

“Gray,” Kiseok barks and he’s shushed by Jaebeom. He glares at the other man, but doesn’t retort. Instead he listens to the audio.

“I know you miss me, I miss you too. I hate that you’re so far away.”

Sunghwa’s jaw clenched and his grip tightened on the phone. He could distinguish that familiar purr and sensual voice from anyone.

Jaebeom awed at the female’s voice a perverted grin upon his face. He exclaimed, “She sounds sexy!”

Kiseok hits Jaebeom on the side of his arm and scolds him, “It’s not the time for that,”

Through the phone Sunghwa’s voice interjects, “Yeah… I’m flying out to you tomorrow. Make sure that sweet ass is in that lingerie set I bought for you.”

“I’ll wear it just for you Daddy.”

The word “Daddy” is repeated until it fades away and the piano is playing heavy keys. The song plays a calm melody while a female’s voice raps to the beat.

“You said you’ll always be with me

But you’re always overseas

I know that you’re busy but you need to listen

This is gonna hurt me from the bottom of my heart

I know you never, ever meant to tear us apart

You did things that my ex could never compete with

Showered me with love and showed me what love is

All I asked was for your loyalty”

Abruptly the music stops and the woman’s voice growls.

“But you never gave it

So now Imma let the world know who you really are

That you’re not just a fucking Kpop star

You’re a bitch, you’re a liar, and a cheat

I wished you never met me on the fucking street

You got a skinny bitch sucking your dick

Meanwhile I’m in Cali worried sick

About you

My people telling to let you go

Not gon’ do

Should have listened because all you did

Was treat me like a toy

Playing around with my feelings

Fuck them Flower (Fuck) Boys”

Sunghwa can’t seem to think straight as he listens to each lyric. His body went tense when his ex-girlfriend barks out the last sentence aggressively. He sensed that she was pissed when she was recording this. Though she didn’t have to throw his name in the dirt like that. She didn’t have to expose their secret relationship of a few months. He’ll have a lot to face with in the next day when it gets in the public. Dispatch will make a blog about it, fans will go crazy over the whole fiasco, and as for himself… he didn’t know what he’ll do.

This wasn’t looking so good for the company. Kiseok rubs his hands together and prays to the heavens that it doesn’t show up in the limelight. Up till now AOMG have been involved in scandals and speculations from the media. Jaebeom with his iconic “2nd Thots” song and Sunghwa’s rumor about him dating SNSD’s Tiffany. Granted that the false reports were months apart of each other, Kiseok knew they were still talked about. It was never let down. Now this happens… this presumably would be the trending topic.

Hyukwoo stands to his feet and clears his throat. “I’m sorry Gray hyung.”

Sunghwa was going to respond but the song snatches his attention.

“Always on your grind

Said you have the time

But you never did

Why the fuck you lyin?

I didn’t want to do this

But now I gotta do this

Put your name on the spot

Let ‘em know what’s hot

Lee Sunghwa

Jwe-song-ham-nida

You never wanted your friends know

We almost got caught backstage at the show

I had to lie and say I was your fan

When really I was your girl and you my man

Sexting me on the low

I still got those nudes in my phone

I had your ass hooked

Had your homies wondering what got chu booked

But now all of that’s over

‘Cause you decided to cheat

Left me for some bitch named Tiffany”

Jaebeom flinches when the name “Tiffany” is thrown into the lyrics. She was bitter towards Sunghwa being with Tiffany. Whoever this London girl was, she had evidence, hard evidence, against Sunghwa. Despite it being disputed into a song. The CEO had to give the girl her props, she was vocal about her emotions and had no filter. Yet as he thought about it, Jaebeom needed to do something to prevent from this getting around. He couldn’t watch as Sunghwa get his named dragged.

Kiseok dejectedly shakes his head when the song finally ends. He steps away from the men and goes down the hallway. The room was deafening silent before a grating animalistic roar could be heard. Three heads turned in the direction of the corridor. Kiseok came storming out from it, his sharp eyes glaring at Sunghwa.

“What the fuck did you do to make this girl pissed? Huh?” Kiseok interrogates Sunghwa, stepping close to the man.

Sunghwa remained quiet. Deep down he too was boiling with anger. Unlike like Kiseok he preferred to keep his temper in. His eyes were downcast as he returned Hyukwoo his phone. He couldn’t dare himself to look at Kiseok right in his eyes. Sunghwa could sense the elder’s enraged glare aimed at him. In a way Sunghwa felt ten times smaller. His hands were dropped to his sides hanging loosely as if he had no bones at all.

When an answer was not given, the collar of Sunghwa’s shirt was snatched by Kiseok. Jaebeom had little time to react to prevent Kiseok from grabbing the man. The elder forcefully backed Sunghwa into the nearest wall the younger’s back colliding with the panel. A picture frame tremble on the wall, thankfully, not collapsing to the floor and shattering. Sunghwa releases a pained groan and his eyes meet Kiseok’s for the first time. His heart stopped beating when he saw the rage within them.

Kiseok was furious.

Jaebeom and Hyukwoo rushed over to the two men. Hyukwoo grabbing Kiseok’s wrist in an attempt to free Sunghwa’s shirt meanwhile Jaebeom held the older’s waist. Both men were pulling Kiseok away from the man. Kiseok couldn’t hear their pleas to let Sunghwa go. He was seething at Sunghwa for not telling him or Jay that he was dating a girl. Had they had known, this situation could have been prevented.

The producer’s eyes begged for Kiseok to release him. He lifted a hand to push at Kiseok’s chest. It was then that the other man decided enough was enough. His hand let loose from Sunghwa’s shirt and he staggered back away from the intimidated male. Jaebeom and Hyukwoo let go of Kiseok as well.

Hyukwoo was the first to rush over to Sunghwa and check to see if he was unharmed. No damage was done to him physically yet there was an emotional injury. For one, Sunghwa couldn’t grasp the fact that Kiseok had placed his hands on him. Secondly, he up to this time was angry towards London. Finally, he couldn’t make sense of the whole tight spot he somehow managed to get into. He glanced at Jaebeom, who was patting Kiseok on his shoulder to calm him down. Then his eyes drifted over to Kiseok, even now he held the enraged gaze of a raging bull.

Kiseok’s finger briskly points at Sunghwa, “Find out who this girl is and see if you can get your way out of this.” He scolded, lowering his hand back down. “We’ll try to pay off the people who’s sharing this, but you have to face the music. Get in touch with this London chick and tell her to remove the song off from the Internet.”

That being said the eldest gathers his things and storms out from the room. He leaves behind Hyukwoo and Jaebeom, both men looking to Sunghwa expectantly. Sunghwa just shakes his head and trudges in between the two to sit on the sofa. They share a brief look before they leave as well. When the door closes gently behind Hyukwoo, Sunghwa howls in anger. Never in his life had he dealt with something as inconvenient as this. This was the biggest issue he had been involved in.

He takes his phone out from his back pocket and goes through his contacts. As luck would have it, London’s phone number was saved into his phone. He didn’t want to call, for fear of the woman not answering. Instead what he did was sent her a text message. It read, “I’m flying out to Santa Monica. I’ll meet up with you at your house. Just let me in, we have to talk.”

Sunghwa taps his foot on the ground, and places the phone up to his lips. He’s nervous to meet with his spiteful ex-girlfriend to discuss over the diss track. The man could do nothing other than plead to God that it ends off nicely. No arguments, no fighting, just mature adults talking over their issues wisely.

He books a flight straight to California. During the course of his tedious flight, Sunghwa was unable to get a blink of sleep. He stayed awake for the first six hours fiddling with his phone. He was getting constant texts from Jaebeom, Kiseok, Hyukwoo, his mother, and other friends of his sudden disappearance. Jaebeom and Hyukwoo were concerned for his safety. Meanwhile Kiseok threatened him not to come back until he had cleared his name. His mother, on the other hand, was worried that he’ll get into trouble with his company for departing suddenly. If only she knew the half of it.

Truthfully, Sunghwa had never told his mother of his relationship with London. The reason being that London was Black. He was dating a Black girl without his mother’s knowledge. Sunghwa was born into a Korean family, raised surrounded by Koreans, and spoke Korean. However, when he met Jay and joined AOMG, Sunghwa was exposed to foreign women. He was in a way obligated to be surrounded by fans of color.

His first “time” with a foreign woman was with a Latino fan in Houston, Texas. She had an all-access pass to backstage, he flirted with her, and gave her his hotel room. Soon afterwards, they were having sex in his suite. It was a risky decision to make, considering the girl could have exposed him then. Fortunately she didn’t and the affair was kept a secret between him and the anonymous fan.

While in the streets of California some years before, Sunghwa stumbled upon London. The girl had stunned him with her overwhelming beauty. At the time it was sunset and the sun had her dark skin glowing. The warm reds, orange tones, and yellows in her skin had Sunghwa drooling. He had no idea he was staring at London until she boldly walked up to him and pointed it out. Her soft fingers closed his mouth, the tips brushing along his lips in sync to a wide smile upon hers. Long, straightened black hair blew with the wind as alluring doe eyes gazed at him.

They exchanged names, and then numbers, and soon London was the next girl in Sunghwa’s bed. She was meant to be a fling. Just a one-night stand. On the other hand, there was just something about London that had him whipped. There was an aspect more to the woman than just her flexibility in the bed sheets. He went on to date her for a year. He kept them a secret from those he loved, for a whole year. The couple was going to make it to two years, until his rumor of him dating Tiffany broke out. London had evidence that Sunghwa was cheating on her with the woman. Screenshots of text messages and real photos of the two out on “dates”. She cut off contact with Sunghwa, leaving him to his own devices and ending their seemingly promising relationship.

On the flight to Santa Monica, Sunghwa by a stroke of luck gets a lengthy two hours of sleep. He sleeps with his head tilted against the cushioned seat and phone in his right hand. All the while he’s having vivid thoughts of meeting London in the long run. He hopes to settle this nicely.

His plane lands in Santa Monica, the stewardess announcing the local time to be 12 at midnight. Sunghwa hoped she wasn’t asleep just yet. He leaves off the plane and arrives in the airport. Using one of their payphones, he calls up a taxi. From then on, Sunghwa is driven out to London’s house. He looks out at the window when he comes upon the familiar neighborhood scattered with soaring palm trees. Immense stone-crafted houses with two door garages. A few cars such as Hondas, Toyotas, and BMW’s parked on the street. Bright fluorescent street lights illuminate his face.

The driver slows down to a stop and the gut-wrenching sensation returns. Sunghwa pays the driver by swiping his debit card and then exits the vehicle. He walks along the curves of the concrete path that leads to London’s door. He takes the elevated steps and stands before the intimidating coffee-brown door.

“Don’t come back until you get this shit settled.”

Kiseok’s voice resounds in his head the moment he remembers the text message.

He knocks on the door several times not long he gets an answer. The door is swung open and behind it reveals London. Her beauty is unchangeable. She wears a baby pink satin robe the length of it stopping above her knee. In her nose is a single stud pierced in her left nostril. Her previous black mane now dyed a steel gray styled in loose ripples of waves. His eyes lower down to the tattoo above her breast, peeking from underneath the contents of the robe. His sight goes to her thick thighs at present they’re covered with dragons swirling amongst flowers on the sides of her legs.

London realizes that Sunghwa’s gawking at her and she sucks her teeth. She covers her chest with the robe tugging the fabric while shouting, “Gray! Eyes up here!” The man jumps by the sudden yell and his eyes immediately look at hers. She rolls her eyes followed by a shake of her head. Her nose crinkled at the audacity he had to ogle her and lips curled. She grudgingly shifts aside to let the man into her home.

Sunghwa enters, heading straight for the living room. London follows after him going to sit on the sofa adjacent to the man. Again, Sunghwa is met with tension in the room. He’s not speaking and neither is London. They both know why Sunghwa is here yet neither speak openly of the subject.

The gray-haired girl stands to her feet when several minutes pass. She flattens down her robe and struts into her kitchen. Sunghwa doesn’t follow her, instead he keeps his place in the living room. His phone vibrates non-stop. The producer takes out his phone and looks at the lockscreen. There’s incoming messages from his labelmates and family. He doesn’t need to open it to know what it’s about.

London stirs the white sugar in her tea the sweet condiment dissolves into her brew. She sets the spoon aside on top of the counter and takes a small sip from her cup. Her eyes glaring at the back of Sunghwa’s head. She was stubborn to admit it, but she would have to talk to him sooner or later. The girl moves the cup away placing it on the marble gray island counter.

Her arms fold across her chest, head tipped to the side. She calls out to him, “We can talk about this in the kitchen.”

Sunghwa goes into the kitchen; he stands across from London. The only thing separating them was the island counter at the center of the room. He maintains eye contact with the woman and takes his hands out from his pockets. Then he leans over the counter, licking his lips, and thinks over his words. How should he start this off? Should he ask her why she did it? No, he exactly why.

Kiseok’s voice remarks vaguely in his hand again, “Tell her to remove this song off from the Internet.”

The producer restated soft-spoken, “Remove the song from the Internet.”

London quickly objects his request, “No, it’s staying on there.”

An annoyed grunt came out of Sunghwa, he runs his hands down his face. His fingers taps on the surface of the counter and his foot on the floor. His body shifts from side to side and his gaze is briefly aimed at the clock behind London. 1:43 A.M. it read. He looks back to the girl and stands up right.

“Why don’t you want to get rid of it?” He demanded, hand slamming down on the top. London flinches when the loud strike rings her ears, yet she doesn’t say a word. Sunghwa studies her for a moment then says, “Are you doing this to get money out from me London?”

The Black girl huffs when she heard the accusation. Her eyes squinting at the man. “Why in the fuck would I want to extort you? Do you think of me like that Gray?”

Sunghwa bellows, “Answer my questions. I’m the victim here not you London!” Veins throb in his neck and chin jutted.

“You’re more of a suspect in this too Gray.” London retorts, stepping closer to Sunghwa and glaring at him. “I wouldn’t have to put your name in the song if you would have just,” She pauses to throw objects on the floor. “Stayed loyal!”

Why is she getting mad? Sunghwa asks himself this question, his eyes scrutinizing London. The man stabs a finger in London’s direction his eyes flashing. “Calm down! You have no reason to be angry right now!”

London shouts, leaning over the countertop, “Yes I do! Gray you cheated on me with that bitch! You never put in the time to come and see me in Monica! You rather fuck these loose pussy hoes than be with me! Me!”

Sunghwa yells, “Listen this song shit has nothing to do with you! Now just get it off from the Internet before we both end up getting hurt!”

Her voice is calm and she shakes her head, “Oh no I won’t be removing it anytime soon. Your fans deserve to know just how much of a bastard you are. Just be happy that I didn’t expose your ass through pictures and videos of you and that bitch.” London grips on her robe, tugging it back into place and she walks around the counter. “So I suggest, that you leave and fly your ass back to Korea, because that song is there to stay.” Her finger points at the door he came in.

Once more Kiseok’s voice rings, “Don’t come back until you get this shit settled.”

Sunghwa’s eyes drift over to London, who’s yelling at him to leave. Her voice is muffled by the deafening pulsing noise in his ears. For him every movement she made was in slow-motion. Her hands flailing in the air and her mouth saying words that he couldn’t interpret. London stares at him for a moment, eyes narrowed and then she stomps in his direction. Her hand extends back in an attempt to backhand her ex-boyfriend.

Before either of them even knew it, Sunghwa had her wrist in his grasp. He then tugged the woman close to him, giving her a death glare. The grip Sunghwa had on her hand was firm as she tried to pull away. She tugged and tugged but to no avail. London’s defiance suddenly went away when her eyes met her ex’s. She could feel his burning gaze boring into her. She felt ten times smaller underneath his stare. Her mouth partially opened, eyes widened and body frozen.

She gasps, “Let me go Gray.” She was persistent in yanking her arm away from the man yet his grip wasn’t loosening.

Sunghwa staggers her body to the island counter and her back collides with the surface top. In the midst her robe is untied and reveals the black lace lingerie set underneath. Her face is flushed at the show of her figure. London wriggles beneath his body standing on top of her. Her left hand shoves at Sunghwa’s chest. She pleads for him to let her go. London’s not going to admit that she’s scared of him at this point, yet her body language tells it all. Her head turns to the side and she looks at the cup of tea that’s just a few inches away. Her eyes flicker from Sunghwa to the cup.

The male catches on to her scheme and he grabs her neck. His hand tilts her head back on the countertop. Sunghwa laughs bitterly followed by a shake of his head. He says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Do what?” London breathes, wriggling beneath him again. “I’m not doing nothing Gray.”

Sunghwa says angrily, “London…”

London snatches the mug of warm tea and then splashes it on Sunghwa’s face. The man had little time to react to prevent it. He screams in agony when the hot tea burns his eyes. He walks unsteadily backwards from London giving her the chance to shove him back. When she goes to run away she slips on the wooden floor caused by the puddle of tea. She painfully yelps. The woman frantically makes an effort to get back on her feet, but a hand on her ankle averts her. She looks over her shoulder to see a leering Sunghwa standing above her again. This time he’s furious.

In all their time of dating she hadn’t seen him rage. Sunghwa normally kept his anger inside and released it when he’s alone. Never in a million years had she witnessed and been the cause of his anger up until now.

A whimper came from her as he roughly yanks her body to him. “No!” She struggles out and her hands were caught in his grasp again. Her legs kicked out at him in a frenzy. “Okay I’ll remove the song, just get off of me Sunghwa!” She pleads to him. Her voice quavering.

The man rasps, “I don’t believe you,” He forces the woman to her feet dragging her into the living room by her wrists. She’s determined to fight against Sunghwa. He tosses her body on the floor and hastily makes moves to unclasp his belt buckle. His zipper is lowered and jeans pulled down to his ankles. “You want to sing a song? You want to rap?” Sunghwa questioned, grabbing London by her gray locks and smothering her face against his bulge. The woman smacks his thigh when his hardened cock skims across her nose and mouth. “Rap your mouth on my dick.”

London stares angrily at her ex and rejects his demand. Sunghwa’s grip tightens in her hair and he yanks her closer to his bulge. With nowhere to go, London sucks her teeth hesitantly pulling down his red Calvin Klein underwear. She’s met with the sight of her ex’s rigid cock standing proudly before her. Thick pulsating veins, swollen head and fat girth. Her stomach flutters at the glimpse. One hand takes a hold of his shaft, stroking it up and down.

“No hands. Use that mouth of yours.”

Another suck of teeth comes out of London’s mouth. She begrudgingly does as she’s told; her hand goes down to her side and she opens her mouth. Slowly the girl lowers her head onto Sunghwa’s length up until the tip tickles the back of her throat she pulls away. A few coughs spew out prior to her cavern being filled with his cock again. She gurgles on his dick, and hits his thigh for him to stop. Sunghwa pays her no attention. Instead he thrusts his dick back and forth. Her saliva coating his dick while her tongue stuck out to lick at the undersides.

He hums pleasingly, head tilted to the side watchful of his length entering and exiting her moist orifice. Sunghwa uses the hand in her hair for guidance. Up and down, in and out.

He chortled, “Your mouth was big enough for something yeah? Big enough to talk shit and take this dick.” His ex-girl gags a response on his shaft even so it’s muffled. Sunghwa abruptly pull out and questions her, “What did you say?”

London’s chest heaves while she tries to catch her breath. Her mouth snarls up at the man, baring her teeth yet her eyes are glazed by undisguised longing. Her hoarse voice snaps back, “Fuck you,” Sunghwa mutters, “Oh really?” and it earns her another trip to his dick. Except for now Sunghwa goes rougher with her mouth. His thrusts goes from slow and deep to erratic and pummeling. The tip of his dick ramming right in the back of her throat. Her eyes watering with tears since she couldn’t do much but just slap his thighs and violently struggle for air.

He bluntly states, “Let’s see if you’re able to talk trash when I’m done with you slut.”

London replies gagging once more. Sunghwa pulls his dick out of her mouth. Spit mixed with his cum dribble out from the woman’s mouth and runs down her chin. She coughs a few times, gasping before she’s yet again forced to suck him up. Surprisingly she goes along with it and bobs her head in vigor, giving her ex needy vibrations of moans on his shaft.

Sunghwa laughs teasingly at the sudden change in London. He takes a mocking jab directed to her, “What happened to being big and bad London? You changed your mind?” He pulls out from her mouth a string of her spit sticking to his tip. She mewls then grumbles, “Shut the fuck up,” to which he replies, “How about you?” and shoves his dick into her cavern. London lifts her body up from the ground, yet she’s shoved back down by Sunghwa’s knees. He kneels above her body, pinning her on the plush rug.

Among his thrusts Sunghwa takes off his jacket and his shirt. His muscular torso unclothed to London’s eyes to ogle. He bites on his bottom lip starting to pound into London’s mouth roughly. He tangles his fingers in her hair, rapsing groans resonating arise from him. His breathing quickening and balls growing tense between his legs as his ex-girlfriend’s sweltering tongue lapped on his shaft. Sunghwa stopped his thrust to allow for London to take control. His fingers glided in his black hair and deep groans leaving past his lips.

London’s warm mouth engulfed his rigid cock. Plumps lips cushioning his length. Her hand went up to fondle with his taut balls. She squeezes one in her hand, then tugs on the sphere. All the while her eyes are dazedly watching him. She could see his face contort while he practically pants for air. The underground rapper giggles on his cock, bobbing her head a few more times in preparation to pull away.

“I got you all hot and bothered Gray.” She remarks smug, her tongue prods at the tip of his cock. A small trace of his cum leaking from the peak. A high-pitched giggle escapes her mouth followed by her tongue languidly skim from the separation of his balls to his tip. Her mouth suckles on his head, teeth lightly nibbling on the man’s peak. She stops to say, “Hmm… I wonder if that bitch sucks dick as good as me. Does that whore have you as hard as this?” Her hand takes a hold of his shaft and she strokes him fluid and fast.

Just to take a jab at her confidence Sunghwa responds, “Yeah she does. She doesn’t get too cocky with it unlike you.”

The pride London had was shot down by his words. She glares at the man above her, “Then I guess you’re not fucking me.” She slides away from him and while she’s doing this she retaliates, “Call that bitch to fuck your ass.”

Sunghwa grabs her hair, yanking on the steel gray locks and forcing her head back. “No because she’s in Korea and the only bitch I have that wants my dick is you.”

London argues, “I don’t want your puny short dick. I have a dildo in my room that’s bigger than yours.”

He countered back, “That’s not what you were saying when you were just choking on my dick. You were face fucking yourself if I had to describe it. So now who’s really the whore here?”

She bites back at him, “Back the fuck off Gray!”

Sunghwa rejected her demand and instead he flipped her onto her stomach. When she tried running away again he struggled with her to keep her in his captivity. He bent her body over the sofa, hiked up her robe exposing her round, firm ass and then spanked it. A yelp came afterwards from London. He noticed she was wearing a black lace thong.

“Ooh what’s this?” He pulls the thong to the side revealing her bare ass hole and dripping wet pussy. Her folds swollen and her clit engorged. He licks his lips at the sight. One finger ran in between her folds eliciting a shrill moan. “Look at that… did you get wet because you were all over my dick?

London denies the accusation grunting, “Uh uh. I thought of Simon fucking my mouth instead of you, shrimp dick.”

“So now I’m shrimp dick yeah?” Sunghwa asks and she agrees with a breathy “yeah”. His hand brutally slaps her ass cheek then grips the clef her ass. London yelps again when her ass is smacked. Her back arching and hands gripping the sofa’s cushion. Sunghwa murmurs, “You won’t be saying shrimp dick after I’m done with you.” He takes a hold of her panties by the waistband and pulls them down steadily. Her puckered hole and dripping wet pussy exposed.

He spits on her hole the saliva trickling in her ring of muscles. His middle finger runs up and down over her anus before he penetrates without warning. London jolts upon the sudden intrusion in her rear, her fingernails raking into the couch’s bolster. Her head turns and she peers over her shoulder at Sunghwa’s digit working in and out of her ass. She struggles to break free, though unfortunately Sunghwa’s body reclines on top of hers. This way he keeps her pinned close up to the couch. London grabs a pillow shoving her face into the soft cushion. Her voice produces suppressed laments. Sunghwa takes his finger out of her ass, spits on her puckered ring once more, and then slips into her hole again.

His stiff thick length twitched when he returned his finger to the familiar sensation of London’s ass. His finger warmed by her canal. The Korean male draws out a throaty groan. His tongue wets his lips and he cocks his head. He adds one more finger into her both digits twisting as they work their way in and out.

London’s ass clenches around the two fingers. Her plump thighs tense up at the moment she begins to ruts towards his digits. Her teeth bite harshly on her bottom lip, spews of moans leaving from her mouth. The steel-haired woman lifts her head up from the pillow and a hand kneads her breast.

“Oh fuck,” she gasps. She hears rustling in her background, yet she doesn’t pay no mind. There’s a blood roaring noise in her ears that muffles the sound. His fingers are yanked out of her ass and his cock replaces them. Suddenly she cries out and bites back a moan when Sunghwa’s dick eases its way in her.

There’s no condom blanketing his shaft since he’s in it raw. The feel of her snug canal is foreign to him. Surely in the past he had fucked London in her pussy then again never in her ass. The woman’s passage is tight and narrow. He smacks his hands on her hips her round ass cheeks jiggling from the strike. His hands clutches on her hips while he lazily grinds into her.

Sunghwa’s eyes flickers from his length to the back of London’s head. His ex-girlfriend is gnawing on her bottom lip as she watches him grind in her tight ass. One of his callous hand run up her back to her neck, grabbing the nape and pulling her back. She was in a daze when he pulled her upright, her back touching his naked broad chest. His hand snakes around to the front of her neck in midst of the position change. Her breathing laboured when she’s finally filled up to the brim of his dick. Her hand reaches back, brushing against the side of his thigh as the opposite snatches his hair.

She hisses, “Just because I’m enjoying this doesn’t mean I want you fucking me.” The emotion in her eyes unreadable since even now she’s livid at him. Despite of the man pleasuring her to no end. Just to piss him off she teased, “You know I wonder if Jay is still single. I want to know how it feels to have a real man fuck me.” She looks at him through voluminous eyelashes waiting for his reaction.

The thought of Jaebeom defying the bro code and fucking with his ex made Sunghwa infruitated. He tightens his hold on London’s neck causing the woman to choke. He bites down on her earlobe eliciting a stifled gripe. Again that night London thrashes in Sunghwa’s hold, her left hand striking the man’s thigh.

“Jay’s not here bitch.” Sunghwa growls, and lets go of her neck. She falls towards the sofa but catches herself using her arms. Sunghwa smacks her on her ass again, “Jay and Simon aren’t here to fuck you. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to fuck sluts like you anyways.” He pulls his cock out halfway before he pummels it back inside. A wail follows. London claws at the couch and the Korean man adds, “Simon likes his bitches classy, mature.”

He hikes up her robe again when it slides down. The ex-boyfriend jerks his hips onto London’s ass. Her back arches as a reaction meanwhile her lonely mound leaks. She sneakily reaches a hand down in between her legs and rubs on her clit stimulating herself. A moan nearly escapes, but she bites it back.

He continues on, “You’re not mature or classy. You’re a reckless bitch. Do you really think Simon would want that?” Sunghwa asks. London could only whine and tremble beneath him. “I thought not. Now as for Jay…” He loses his train thought when London grinds back against him. A lazy smirk grows on his lips then he lightly slaps her ass. He rakes his hair back with his hand. His voice graty, “Jay might fuck you. He fucks anything that moves, breathes, and would do anything to ride his dick.”

All of a sudden Sunghwa pulls his dick out and slams into London. The woman lets out a shrill moan when she’s filled to the brim of his cock. Tears roll down her face, her body quivering and hands jerking a pillow underneath her chest. She shoves her body back to be met with ruthless, snaps of Sunghwa’s hips.

“Fuck, fuck, oh my fucking-” She chokes on her words, it takes her moment to regain her train of thought, she murmurs, “My fucking God.” Her fingers hastily knead her sensitive nub. She whimpers while she drags a quavering finger up to her entrance and prods. Using a shaky digit she penetrates her haven stopping at the knuckle.

Sunghwa chortles at the feedback he receives from London. The feeling of prickles in his skin causes the male to jerk suddenly. London makes a strangled noise; her finger going into her mouth and she bites down. Sunghwa’s dark eyes bore at his ex-girlfriend. He rasps, “Your ass is so fucking tight.” He leans back on his knees, pulling out again and slamming right back into her core. He repeats the motion twice before he settles on actually ruining her.

He props himself up to place one knee on the couch and his foot on the floor. Shakingly, London climbs onto the sofa just as Sunghwa starts to assault her canal with accelerated barbarous hammering. His balls slap on the boundary of her ass and pussy. The Korean male inhales sharply alongside a husky groan.

A hand spanks her ass. Sunghwa gutturally snarls,“You like this bitch?”

Sunghwa pulls her hips close to him. Her hole clenches around his shaft again. His hands massages her big fleshy ass while he pummels into her. London goes slack jaw, her eyes seeing stars instead of the white suede couch before her. She refused to admit it to anyone, but the way Sunghwa was fucking her had her drowning in pleasure. His reckless pounding fucked up her mind, left her brain scattered and ears listening to a deafening silence. She quickens her fingers inside of her haven, feeling the tip of her middle finger prodding her g-spot. A whimper emits from her mouth, her nostrils flaring as she tosses her head back. Gradually her body goes limp, her legs trembling from being on her knees for so long and from Sunghwa’s relentless hammering.

If continues to fuck her as good as he is now, she just might get rid of the song.

London has trouble articulating her words. For a while she just rolls her tongue and babble some words. It takes for Sunghwa to collide right into her spot for her to get her words in order. She shouts on the top of her lungs, “Fuck!” and then she desperately announces, “I’ll get rid of the song!”

Just the words Sunghwa’s been wanting to hear. He takes his dick out from her ass looking down at her puckered hole seeing some pre-cum leak out and dribble down to her pussy. It’s when he just realizes she was fingering herself the entire time. He cackles at the sight and lifts up the girl to her feet. She’s positioned on her back on the sofa, her weak legs barely having the energy to lock around his waist. London’s hand rubs slowly on her clit while she watches her ex-boyfriend penetrate her haven. She lets out a hiss, moaning in a needy way. The woman flings her hair behind her shoulder, lying on her couch and arching her back. Sunghwa breathes heavily as he enters her pussy. Another warm engulfs him entirely. Before she even had time to adjust to his size, Sunghwa picks up from where he left off. Her pussy is assaulted by accelerated and brute poundings.

She lifts a hand to her mouth, sucking on her fingers to muffle her cries. Her body rocks on the sofa, her clit twitching. She feels a fire pooling in her stomach signaling that her orgasm was coming. London looks up at Sunghwa briefly before she returns her gaze to his fat shaft working in and out of her pussy.

A hand languidly wraps around her neck for the umpteenth time that night. She meets her eyes with Sunghwa, the darkness within them making her skin crawl. In a raspy voice he asks, “You’re going to delete it?”

London whimpers, “Yes.” He repeats the question again and her voice raises, “Yes!” Her hand hastily rubs on her clit, her hips bucking against him and body getting tense. Her eyes are glazed by the overwhelming desire to come. A sense of electricity wrecks through her skin while she maintains the intense eye contact with him.

Still not satisfied with her answer, Sunghwa barks, “Are you going to delete it?”

“Yes! Fucking yes!” She cries out and there’s a rippling sensation that brings her to her peak. Her voluptuous frame goes still for a moment, her back arching up when she cums all over his dick. Her eyes close as she rides off her orgasm. Her hands balling into fists while her juices leak onto his shaft. A string of curses in the course of her sudden electrifying bliss.

That’s how you say it. Sunghwa bares his teeth while he brings her up to his chest. She’s seated in his lap, her body limp as she tries to ride him. Her head lays on his chest and she feels his large hands kneading her ass. A low moan emits when he does that.

The Korean man inhales sharply through his mouth. Both his hands smacking her globes before digging his fingers into the skin. Sunghwa’s half-lidded eyes peer at London sluggishly riding him. Her cheeks are adorned with dried tears. He grabs her face with his hand and brings her in for a kiss.

She’s surprised when he kisses her, but she doesn’t complain. Their tongues massage together at the same time their hands can’t seem to stay away. A moan comes out of London’s mouth; Sunghwa’s arm pulling her close to him. The man sucks on her bottom lip and rolls his lips on hers. London snakes her arms out of the satin robe and unclasps her bra. Both pieces of clothing are tossed on the floor by Sunghwa respectively. They’re completely immersed into the tongue swirling and tongue flicking.

Sunghwa pulls out from the kiss and tilts his head back. “Shit,” he rasps. His heart beats erratically against his chest and breathing becoming laboured. The man rakes his fingers through his black hair and groans desperately. His ex-girlfriend’s eyes mischievously sparkle at the sight of him getting on edge. Her hands stroked his chest in a circle causing him to bite on his bottom lip. The Korean male closes his eyes; his balls and thighs grew taut upon the approaching sense. It’s as if time slows down when he jerks his hips into London. His hands forcefully pin the girl to his lap, keeping her still as he hammers into her.

Her eyes roll to the back of her head when she feels a warmth fill her to the hilt. Her hands grip on his shoulders, nails burrowed into the pale skin. Sunghwa grunts while he rides off his high. He runs his hand up and down on her back letting groans come out.

The Korean male pulls his dick out from London and uses a hand to stroke it. More of his cum leaks out from his tip. The previous batch seeping out of London’s mound and onto his lap. He slows down his strokes, eventually stopping when there’s nothing. His cock fluctuates, wilting down and going limp. Sunghwa sighs to himself relieved to be free of his erection and of the reason for his appearance in California.

London climbs off from her ex’s lap and lies down on her side on the couch. She scratches the back of her head while reaching down to snatch up her robe. She covers her body with the satin fabric her eyes looking over at Sunghwa.

The man is starting to get dressed, he’s putting on his underwear followed by his jeans. He was preparing to leave. London felt a pang in her chest, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead she watches her ex-boyfriend get clothed and gather up his things.

Sunghwa looks to London, not noticing her crestfallen gaze. He tucks his hands into his pockets and asks, “You’re really going to get rid of the song?”

She nods her head, her lips pursed. “Yeah, I’m going to do that when I leave from here in a couple of minutes.”

“Good.” Sunghwa responds. He goes to her front door and is about to leave. Not before he spares his ex another straight-faced look. Their eyes meet when he’s been caught staring so he leaves.

He spends an inconsiderable amount of money to purchase yet another plane ticket. The flight back to Korea is unwinding. He could return back home without a worry on his mind. The drama with London finally put to rest before any collateral damage could come. He looks at his phone to see messages from Kiseok, Jaebeom, and others. He opens up the chat with Kiseok and sees that the diss of him wasn’t found out by media. Him and Jaebeom had paid off sources to remove the song privately while he was away. Sunghwa cracks a smile.

Days later, in Korea, Sunghwa was at AOMG headquarters with Hyukwoo, Jaebeom, Minsik, Kiseok, and Hyun-jung. Minsik, or Sik-K, was called up to the building in the possibility of a collaboration with their artist Hoddy. He thought of a collab that’ll have the digital single produced by Sunghwa. According to the rapper it’ll be promoting Hyun-jung and himself individually. Kiseok and Jaebeom thought of the idea to be acceptable. Hoody liked the concept of performing with Minsik.

Just then Sunghwa’s phone went off notifying a text message had came in. He unlocked his phone to see a message from an unknown number. His eyebrows furrowed confusedly at the sight.

The first to notice Sunghwa’s quizzical look had been Hyukwoo. Abruptly he calls out in midst of his fellow friends roaring with laughter, “Gray hyung! What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t say anything, he just stands to his feet and dials the foreign number. Sunghwa strides out the room and goes into a recording studio alone. He locks the door behind him as he plops down onto a chair and runs his fingers through his hair. Finally someone picks up the phone.

“Hello who is this?” Sunghwa asked.

A female’s voice replies, “It’s London.” Sunghwa’s blood runs cold when he finds out who it is. She continues to speak, “Listen… after what happened when you came over here Gray. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I miss you. I want you back.” He could sense the desperation in her tone.

Sunghwa puts the microphone on mute just as he groans. He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. Maybe that was the look she was giving him before he left. This is what it meant. She wanted to get back with him again. As much as Sunghwa wanted to do that, he couldn’t find it in his heart to do it. He may just cheat on her or she might just be using this to put his career at risk. His hand ran down his face as he sat there in the chair thinking of his options. Just like her he missed her, but for her body. The sex they would have was amazing yet he adorned no emotional attachment to London. His fondness of the woman was long gone. Then again he could try to give them another try.

London’s voice rung out, “Gray, are you there?”

He quickly presses the microphone and speaks, “Yeah I’m here.” He massages his temples.

“Well… what do you say?”

Sunghwa takes a deep breath and reflects over his decision. It seems like forever before he chooses an answer to give London.

“London…. I,”

A/N: The cliffhanger is there for a reason! You end it off. You tell me if Gray agreed to get back with London or not. Anyways, I literally spent three days writing this oneshot, so I am out! Follow me for more and hit me up for any requests!

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theimmortalbeloved · 4 years

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The One When I Found The One! - a collection

Oh! And last but not least, you wouldn’t believe who DM me the other day! The guy with the scent that followed me through Recife. My first crush/love or whatever you wanna call. We’ve been talking and it feels like we never actually stop talking. Does that make sense? Anyways, he’s still kind and cute. And as stupid as it sounds, the thought of meeting him again makes my heart race. Maybe you were right all those years ago when I kissed him again (was it 2012?) and I do still have some leftover feelings hanging on. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m going out with João. It feels right. I don’t wanna rush into anything. You know me. I’m still scared of falling for anyone and give them the power of hurting me. It took me too long to let go of what happened with Miguel. But I’m actually pretty calm and chill with not labeling and all that. Things will follow their path.

It’s been so long right? I’m sorry, but life is just slowly killing me (LITERALLY RIGHT????) and I’ve been swallowing some feelings. I just won the state championship with Hermes but things feel out of place. Ever since I got back from Sete Lagoas, João’s been off. Something’s off. I’m scared of asking ‘cause NEWS FLASH I’m down on my stupid hurt knees for him. Of course I had to let the guard down eventually. We’ve been seeing each other a lot since we went out like 4 months ago. We talk to each other every single day. I cannot believe after 6 years going solo and strong I’m that vulnerable again. I just can’t take it. Bella thinks I’m being completely neurotic about him being distant. But you know my instincts. They’re so on spot sometimes they scare me. A N Y W A Y S. Yes, I’m changing subject. Don’t need to overthink this any longer.

It’s October 26th and I still haven’t got out of the house. Barely out of the room. I’m hurting in places I never thought could hurt. It’s almost physical. Almost my ass. It is physical. Well, Z, I was right. I wasn’t being neurotic. Stupid me who didn’t listen to my stupid gremlin screaming in my head that I was heading towards hurt. I knew something was going on. Sunday, the girls and I went to my favorite place on cosine world, the stupid fucking Outback, to celebrate out title before the party. Well, there I am with my stupid fucked up knee and those stupid disgusting crutches hurting my god damn arms standing before João and his motherfucking ex. I seriously saw it coming. OH MY FUCKING GOD. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID???? OF COURSE he would go back to her. What on Earth made me believe I was good enough for anyone. For goodness sake, I knew all along Miguel was right when he said I wasn’t worthy of finding someone to love me. I all average. I’m not pretty, charming, or intelligent. I’m not funny.

Right now, I can’t help but wonder if it was real. I mean, who’s to say he wasn’t thinking about her when we were together?

I chose to ignore my past and my instincts and now I’m here. Rock bottom. And once again, I can’t talk to anyone about. ‘Cause it was always you who listened. And you’re not here anymore. Like everyone else, you left me when you said you wouldn’t. I’m hurt. I’m alone. And everyone around me couldn’t care less. Him the least of them all. Of course, he didn’t owe me anything. He’s happy with her. I’m playing Stone Cold over and over and over until I can actually get there and believe that if happy for him is her, I’m happy for him. ‘Till then, in the wise words of Kelly C. I hope the ring he gave to her turns her finger green.

Hi. I think I’m not angry anymore. I’m just sad. Still feeling like I’m the one to blame and something in me makes me not good enough. I should be going the physical therapy but I don’t wanna go out. I should be going to my actual therapy but I haven’t found the strength yet. It is so dumb that something so stupid as falling for someone can throw me so many steps back. I can hear you voice telling me not to be so hard on myself and that I should allow myself to cry, ‘cause crying heals. But I feel so ridiculous. Two times in the same life I allowed myself to fall for the same person AND LET HIM HURT ME. TWICE. THE SAME GUY. How can I be so dumb? He wasn’t into me then, he’s not into me now. It’s as simple as that.

I know I’m writing a lot less. Ever since Hugo’s accident I haven’t talked to you as much. And I know this heartbreak is not the end of the world. It’s the timing of it. I feel hurt ‘cause he wasn’t here to protect and you aren’t here to heal me. I mean, I lost the two more important men of my life. How do I move on? Hugo would make me laugh by saying he would punch João if I wanted to. And you would tell me that it is good that I finally let got of my fears and allowed myself to be open to new chances. You both would tell me to embrace whatever lesson the situation was trying to teach me. But I haven’t seen clear what it is. And can’t still see it without you guys here.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. I had to sat down and write about it. I basically haven’t slept yet and I still obsessing about what happened.

It was Jukia’s bday and everything was a-okay ‘till Rodolfo kissed. Things got weird and I just figured out why. Jukia has feeling for him that I wasn’t aware of. And that’s not even the weird part. Me and Rod went to another party to meet his friends. One of the friends: Gui (mine and João’s friend). So, Gui sees me with Rod and sort of has a lash out, asking me about João and how could I be doing this if we “were the best possible couple” and he thought we were super into each other. So I basted the news: João is back with Gisele. OR AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO, I’ll get back to this. Gui goes cray-cray and sends João a voice message and drunk me thought it was a good idea to shout in the back of the audio. We go back to the party then home, blah blah blah. Not important. THING IS: Next morning, João answers Gui, telling him that he’s no with Gisele, and that he hasn’t dumped me. I WAS OUTRAGED. YOU GO OUT WITH YOUR EX WITHOUT TELLING YOUR CURRENT HOOK UP WITH SOME SORT OF INVOLVEMENT AND I FIGURE OUT AND THAT’S NOT DUMPING???? JUST CAUSE YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE BALLS TO ACTUALLY TELL ME? I mean REALLY????? But I decided for silence. Until I charged my phone. At 1:32am João texted me. I’m answering ‘cause well you can’t change what happened. And I really don’t want to let unresolved things to keep on affecting me. ‘Cause yeah I told him it was fine and it was his right but I haven’t digest everything. And you know, hate is a poison you drink hoping someone else would die.

In addition to all that, I kissed him. Shocker. I went to his apartment to see Filipe and get the tickets to his play. But I’m weak and my legs are still Jell-o beside him. There’s still something in him that makes me wanna stay. Something in the way my insomnia vanishes when we sleep together. Something in the way it feels like home. I’m so scared. I’m back here without actually knowing what went down between them this past month and a half. I’m back without knowing how ended things ate between them. And most important, I’m back knowing I like him a whole lot more than he likes me. Some of the doubts remain. Am I just a rebound? Is second best all I will know? When we’re together it’s really about me or about her? What I mean is: will I ever not have those doubts? I keep on trying to convince me that is just a matter of time. Bella thinks is matter of label. I’m just trying to keep my armor on so the damage won’t be as big as it was before is things go South.

And another news flash: we’re official. I mean WHAT? How did all that heartbreak and confusion and even with the attacks from her-who-shall-not-be-named became a relationship? H O W? Am I too crazy? Don’t know. I feel happy. He makes me glow. But sometimes anxiety still hits. And Gremlin screams and I’m back to rock bottom thinking all the stupid things I shouldn’t be thinking. Questioning every single move. But it’ll pass. I know it will.

Some days, Zach, I feel like a balloon on the verge of exploding. Everything is where it’s supposed to be. João is loving and caring and amazing. Life is okay. But I still feel unhappy. I lost weight and I still don’t feel pretty. I feel his love but Gremlin still shouts sometimes. I still let Gremlin question something that I know for a fact is legit. I’m back in therapy and taking care of my body dysmorphia.

None of that happens when I’m beside. With him, anxiety and insomnia basically don’t make noises. I’m not as skeptical as I was in the matters of love. We talk about plans, and kids (though I hate Maria Clara so much now ‘cause I know from all that snooping around with Gremlin that it’s the name he chose with Goblin), and future. I mean real future, not just weekends. It’s weird right? Here I am, planning and loving with the first person I’ve ever fell for. 10 years later and he still has a hold on a my heart.

Yes, I’m still insecure sometimes. Yes, the existence of Goblin still affects me sometimes or the things I saw them do together (the costume thing bugs me. He hates them, but he used to wear them with her. Argh. Hate it ‘cause costumes have my heart). No, the fact the we made our relationship labeled didn’t change those things. ‘Cause I’m the only one with the power to change those feelings. And it takes time an patience.

(...) Bottom line is it’s been a tricky path. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. It may seem stupid for me to say it so soon, but I’ve found the one. And who’s to say time is the same to everyone? John Green was right. There are infinities bigger than others. And if ends, he’s giving me forever within the numbered days.

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