#i wish i could be online more

[latetaektalk]

I think that initially Jungkook wanted to come up and get acquainted, as was the case in the first part, to invite her for a walk, and he tried to do it again at the bus stop, but he got too nervous and expressed a similar plan?!?!? or he planned this in advance with Taehyung in order to somehow get in touch with her, even if she cost him too much and thought that he could then get out of this contract, it was important for him to start communicating with her and be close.

I think that he is the guy from the bathroom and even at the first conversation he liked her and he wanted to get to know her better. and when he found out that she was Jimin’s friend, seeing her, he was definitely convinced of it. just like you described his intentions in the first chapter, when she fell asleep in his car with Jimin. he really loves her very much and he doesn't seem like a liar. I'm very interested in reading his POV, seeing oc through his eyes, and not reading oc's observations that she doubts and definitely doesn't guess. please let some chapter or drabble have Jungkook's pov from the moment he first saw her and after🥺😭

I understand how painful it was for him in the end to understand that she does not believe his actions and the love for her that he puts into her and surrounds her. but he must understand that she believes in their bet with Tae and is only playing along with him, but at the same time she has forgotten herself and fallen in love with him. he needs to confess to her soon and reveal the truth to her before it ends for both of them. time is running🥲

I would really and forever want to talk to you about love to hate you, because it is literally a masterpiece in literature, your style is elegant and the plot is incredibly exciting, especially for romantic souls. but you're probably busy and have more important things to do than that. just know that I love it madly. please let this never disappear from internet. 🥹❤️🫶🏻

okay oh my god im answering this so incredibly late but this genuinely has to be one of my favourite asks ever 🥹 i cant thank you enough for how much love you have for lthy and oc and jk. even more so for sharing all of your little thoughts with me 💓💓

i still wont confirm or deny whether or not jk is bathroom guy but i can definitely see why you and others might think that haha i know theres a lack of jungkook's pov in most chapters, so if i do find the time i would be down to write a drabble or two from his pov. its not a promise tho but if life allows it, i really would love nothing more because god knows i owe you guys some clarity. plus i think his pov would be v interesting for you guys too!! i like how much youve included from the previous chapters and even remembered how he approached her etc!! i feel like with how far we've come with the story its almost easy to forget, at least sometimes even i forget haha i guess only time will tell if you are right and if jk is actually genuine or not 😭

and you dont need to worry!! even if i stop posting one day, i wont delete my work. at least i dont plan to do so right now! thank you so so so much for reading and being so kind 💕

#you guys are so incredibly sweet :(( #im sorry im so bad at responding #i wish i could be online more #i do really miss interacting with you guys but i rarely ever have the time smh #fic: love to hate you #linh.ask #linh.anon

[ivettel]

can i just say how heartwarming it is that we're still here celebrating seb's bday? he's still inspiring us and keeping our little community together and it's so cute. i love u seblr

#wish i could be online more for this alas summer school is a cruel thing

[alicentsaegon]

The main characters of that Fourth Wing novel look like poor Feyre and Rhysand copycats it must be said because at first glance I did not even realize it wasn't acotar art. The day that fantasy romance authors stop making their love interests dark handsome Schrodinger's MOC airbrushed dudes with multiple body tattoos and the women Mormon lookalikes is the day nature heals

#SJM has done fucking irreperable damage to fantasy romance #saw someone describe this book as eragon and throne of glass and game if thrones rolled into one? #jesse what the fuck are you talking about #anti booktok #anti intellectualism #fourth wing has been all over my fyp im TIRED #i dont want to sound like a book snob but like #ill hate read it in like a year or two when they actually start selling copies in my country #the copies online are 100+ dollars thats Insane #edit: that xaden guy actually looks more like cassian rhysand wishes he could be that buff

[pathetichoney]

[Image ID: A drawing of a selfie taken by Sam Manson with Damian Wayne. They are both dressed up in formal attire, Damian in a black/dark grey suit with a red tie, and Sam in a purple topped off the shoulder dress with black straps. She is wearing a variety of jewelry, a necklace with a bat pendant, a black choker with a star of david in a circle pendant and cartoonish spider shaped earrings. Her hair is reminiscent in her half-up hairstyle, but with two ponytails rather than one. The background is a dark wall, a white collumn and white tile flooring. There is a window in the back, with green curtains, and outside the window is a cityscape of Gotham at night. There is a watermark of the artist’s username in the top left corner @pathetichoney​. End ID.]

i am back on my bullshit this time with a v special new way that i’m drawing bc i got a new phone that i am paying out the wazoo for, however i can draw on it so my art has gotten significantly better. though of course i had to test myself and do both 1. a full background 2. a character who wears lipstick which i always struggle with unless their mouth is in a particular position and 3. a character that i have never ever tried to draw.

so like. rip me lol.

anyways i am back on my bullshit bc this is fanart of fanfic!!!! i always feel exactly in my element when i do this, it’s just always so good??? and fun?? and when i first read this fic, i mean oh god i just fell for it so hard. i ended up rereading it again like barely 48 hours after i’d finished reading it the first time lol

the fic in question is a damian and danny are twins au! it’s called Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog and i just-- the characterisations are just so well done it all feels incredibly natural especially with the merging of the two different universes into one cohesively and seamlessly it’s wonderful. there are a few faults with this pic i think, however i am still incredibly proud of it. as a bonus, here’s a better view of the window scene because i’m still really proud of that one:

#my art #danny phantom #batman #batfam #dp x dc #dp/dc #sam manson #damian al ghul wayne #fanfic fanart #also i am not jewish and i could not find a solid answer for this: but my intention w sam's choker necklace pendant was to be #the jewish star of david however when i looked online to find if i was right when i was doing the image id it was called a wiccan symbol? #as in the star of david in a circle and i couldn't find an answer to the question if they were two separate symbols or they're the same? #if this is NOT a jewish symbol then i can v easily change this and will make an edit for it even if it looks rather gothic for sam #i added the circle because the star that i'd drawn felt unfinished but i can v easily go back and add more detail to the star to remove it #as for damian i wish i could have accurately portrayed his murder scowl but due to my unfamiliarity with him i literally had to redraw him #like 10 times and i was v much relying on my friend to tell me exactly what i needed to adjust rip #in the end i gave up because this was the closest i could get to him and sigh oh well #i'll get it better next time i draw dp/dc stuff bc i probably will be doing it again soon lol #ALSO i am still v new to writing image ids so if there's any issues with this one please let me know!

[s0fter-sin]

metalhead ghost who’s been in moshpits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out. he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out, kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or putting their hands where they shouldn’t

and he’s been keeping an eye on the punk in the kilt since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death

he looks like the type to start shit - loud and aggressive as anyone else here but a punk doesn't end up at a metal show for no reason - but there's also something niggling at him that he's gonna end up getting himself hurt. and ghost can’t tell if he’s going to do it on purpose

if he does, ghost needs to know. he uses these places as an escape - the music, the violence, the community - always has and he knows all to well how easily an escape can curdle and become destructive. he’s seen too many people lost to the darker parts of the scene, almost lost himself to it; he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else if he can help it

so when he sees the punk sweating his mohawk off, his movements becoming looser and uncoordinated, he has no issues with yanking him out of the pit and pulling him away from the crowd; pushing him up against the venue wall and ordering him to open his mouth

the glaze that falls over his eyes concerns him even as he obediently lets his mouth fall open. he was right; the punk’s severely dehydrated, tongue and gums far to pale and along with the look in his eyes, he half-thinks he’s about to drop

he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw to keep him up and the punk shivers, a flush creeping up his neck. an almost confused arousal joins the haze in his eyes and ghost smirks beneath his mask

looks like metal shows aren’t the only thing the punk is new to

#soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #ghost has a split tongue bc i said so #and soaps mohawk is overgrown and fluffy as hell running down the back of his neck #once ghost forces water down his throat soap comes back online and is his usual self and ghost starts to like him even more #he likes having someone that can go toe to toe with him #i wish i knew more about the scene so i could expand this but i dont know shit about punk or metal culture lmao #i do know itd be mid 20s soap and late 30s early 40s ghost and soaps just self destructing #wanting to be an artist but hes being strangled both by his family who think its a waste when hes so mathematically smart #and by the artistic community who hate his pieces for being too chaotic and non traditional #ghost keeps running into him at shows and he recognises that self destruction all too well #and he sees him declining and knows if he doesnt step in no one will #he was a drug addict after getting caught up in abusive relationship with roba #and it was only his brothers death that pulled him out of his spiral #he doesnt want death to be the end of this spitfire punks story #soaps also got that classic catholic guilt internalised homophobia going for him #hes only ever known the bad parts of the scene he didnt know there was anything different #until ghost introduces him to price and nikolai whove been together longer than hes been alive #and to gaz and farah and alex who make no secret of their love for each other and soap realises just how deprived he is of healthy love #not when his parents barely stand him not when his sister only got married when she fell pregnant and they forced her into the church #with a man she hardly knew just so they could keep their reputation #just ghost showing soap theres more to life than violence and hatred and theres so much love for him to discover #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #save post

[floorpancakes]

hey did you guys know they released official maru and moro angelic pretty xxxholic collab gowns as a movie tie in but they were ultra limited run custom reservations for a REALLY high price (even for modern ap) so there was no way i was gonna get em but i want them so bad just so i could say i have the official xxxholic lolita dresses anyways

#xxxholic #lolita fashion #im gonna say it holic fans never let go of their items easily no matter how much time has passed so when stuff like this stops its a vault #im keeping an eye out for them online but i doubt theyll turn up affordably theyll just be added to my list of xxxholic white whales #dont get me wrong theyre really basic especially for the price and i like most ap stuff way more but its fucking xxxholic man!!! #i could make sick oddly specific coords of this #lolita collabs w my favourite media are rare and precious #it was a miracle we got this for the movie especially when holic is kinda the clamp black sheep any other time of year #but like #just letting yall know #the more you know! #xxxholic movie #I understand why they did it but i wish it wasnt plain default fabric for that price #a good plain fabric colour block can save lives but it feels kinda uncalled for for 60k #if i find them for under £150 then yoink

[turtletoria]

i feel like an incredible hater for this but i feel as i get older the more my tolerance for shipping decreases. like i went from an avid enjoyer to just tolerating ship art to now getting outright upset and fighting the urge to curse every time i see shipping content (this doesnt apply to my mutuals and friends who ship things because they can do no wrong ever)

#idk why it boils my blood like that. like genuinely it makes my online enjoyment really take a steep nosedive since 99.9% of any fandom- #content is shipping #maybe its the hater in me. maybe its the aroace tendencies in me. maybe im just antisocial and disagreeable. idk! #like shipping isnt morally bad or anything it just makes me so sad. idk #like ppl always prioritize romance over friendship and make fun of friendships as if they arent gay enough or smth and it rlly hurts me. id #like idk how to say it. everyone can have fun and stuff but it rlly makes me feel like im having fun wrong bc shipping looks fun but i cant #stomach it. like i miss having fun like that but i cant stand it anymore #like friendships r so devalued and even in frienship is magic type media friendships STILL take a backseat like whats up with that #like i hope this isnt coming across like a “i hate romance! i hate love!” kind of post but more so a why dont ppl focus on characters if - #they cant be romantically involved? #like i will alwaayyss be bitter abt willow from toh getting sidelined until she could be shipped with hunter like that pissed me off so bad #but like ur fave characters cant stand alone they neeeed to be romantically involved with someone for their love or dedication to be real #like love and dedication cant be genuine unless theyre romantically or sexually attracted? idk man #talking abt this is tricky bc u can fall into anti-sex/conservative rhetoric with this but i hope u can understand what im saying #like sex is great and romantic love is great but i wish the greater public would just have some freedom to explore concepts of dedication- #and trust that go beyond that framework. like there was a comment on reddit that framed aroace as the nonbinary of relationships and I- #thought that was really neat. yeah

[ghosts-cyphera]

hey bb! just noticed you've been less active than usual, n u can totally ignore this if im over stepping but are u doing okay? i know this season is the time ppl get demotivated and such, i just wanted to check in on u <3 happy holidays n take care of urself!

aw you’re not overstepping at all! thank you so much for sliding in and checking in on wee me.

I haven’t been great. there’s a post in my blog about it somewhere, but I have depression. again. it’s not the first time so I should’ve anticipated it and seen the signs, but I didn’t, and I let it get too bad before looking for help.

but I have a referral to a psychiatric hospital now, so things are moving forward and… yeh. I’ll be okay, I think!

in any case, it’s very sweet of you to notice and so very sweet of you to ask. thank you. I’m sending you so, so, so much love 💗 !!

#lo answers #I wish I could be online more but my social battery is constantly at zero % #)-: I miss you all

[fdelopera]

An Autistic Perspective on Moon Knight (or, Why Steven Grant is not the only autistic alter)

Sooo Moon Knight really hit me hard. Especially as an autistic person. It hit me so hard, in fact, that it’s brought me back from my Tumblr hiatus. (I haven’t posted since 2018? what???) It was euphoric for me to see an autistic character operate as a superhero within the MCU. Especially Steven. Though Marc and Jake are also autistic — we’ll get to that.

Steven Grant as the audience surrogate wasn’t written as autistic in Jeremy Slater’s original script for the series, but Oscar Isaac took one look at him and basically said, “I’ll relate to this guy more if he’s on the spectrum.” As an autistic person, I actually love that. This choice doesn’t feel exploitative to me, like Rain Man does, for instance; instead, it feels like I’m being seen. I found it meaningful hearing Oscar Isaac say that part of his way into figuring out this role was through delving into a character who happens to be on the spectrum.

I will say that at least to my eye, Oscar Isaac has created a reasonably authentic on-screen portrayal of an autistic character, at least compared to the typical overblown Sheldon Cooper-style of characterization. It is also amazing to see an autistic superhero who is capable, courageous, and strong, even in their most vulnerable moments. Too often, we are portrayed in media as being incapable of having agency within our own lives.

So, in the future, I want to rewatch Moon Knight and analyze the scenes that were particularly impactful for me from the perspective of autistic experience.

But for this post, I want to talk about autism within the context of trauma and mental health. There is an important distinction to be made between Autism Spectrum Disorder and DID in relation to this show, and I haven’t seen a lot of people discussing it in depth.

I am writing this analysis because I believe that an autistic perspective can add some context to certain crucial aspects of this show.

I also want to acknowledge that there is a high degree of co-occurrence between autism and dissociative conditions, including DID. The extreme and constant overwhelm caused by our autistic neurology can lead to dissociative coping mechanisms.

For example, in addition to being autistic, I also depersonalize and derealize, which stems from my sensory processing and social processing issues. Ever since childhood, I dissociate when my nervous system gets too jangled and I’m unable to process the chaos of the world around me.

If Steven Is Autistic, So Are Marc and Jake (and here's why):

I've been seeing a lot of people online celebrating Steven as an autistic character, as in, “Steven Grant is the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero!” Now, don’t get me wrong, Steven totally is a well-portrayed autistic character; however, I haven’t seen very many people involving Marc and Jake within that discussion of on-screen portrayals of autism.

But if Steven is meant to be on the spectrum, Marc and Jake should be recognized as being on the spectrum as well.

To treat Steven as the only alter who is autistic can inadvertently raise the specter (pun intended) of a harmful and outdated theory on the cause of autism.

So, I want to address two questions: What does (and doesn’t) cause autism? And why are Marc and Jake also on the spectrum if Steven is?

1. Autism Is Epigenetic:

Autism is a genetically inherited neurological variation. It is epigenetic, meaning that there are both genetic and environmental factors that affect each individual’s experience of autism, but you can’t “become” autistic without the genetic factors being present. And if you do have the epigenetic makeup for autism, it is likely that you will have some degree of autistic experience. We still don’t know exactly what this epigenetic makeup is, and I for one hope that we never find out, because Autism $peaks is ready with pitchforks and a eugenics campaign to remove us from humanity as soon as this discovery is made.

Autism’s etiology is not trauma-based. In other words, traumatic experiences can’t “make” someone autistic. However, back in the 1940s, Freudian psychiatrists Bruno Bettelheim and Leo Kanner came up with the “refrigerator mother” theory of autism (they applied it to schizophrenia, as well). They believed that if a mother was neglectful or abusive towards a young child and withheld her love during a critical developmental period, she could cause her child to become autistic. They believed that autistic people could be “cured” of their autism with the right amount of psychoanalysis. These psychiatrists and their disciples subjected countless autistic people to this “treatment” (i.e., torture) for decades.

The "refrigerator mother" theory of autism (and schizophrenia) has since been disproven. The theory was finally rejected in the 1990s when studies of identical twins showed that autism has a high degree of heritability (current research shows that autism’s heritability may be as high as 90%). If you are autistic, the environment (i.e., the people, places, and things around you) will shape your experience of autism, but your environment alone can't “make” you autistic if you don’t have the genetic predisposition for it.

2. If a System Is Autistic, Each Alter Can Have a Unique Experience of Autism:

To frame all of this within the context of Moon Knight, Wendy Spector’s abuse couldn’t “cause” autism within Marc’s system. To put it more bluntly, trauma couldn’t “make” one alter autistic (i.e., Steven), while the rest of the system remained completely allistic.

I know that a lot of you know this; I’ve just seen some troubling posts about this online from people who are neither a system nor autistic, and I needed to say something. Steven isn’t “the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero” — the system is.

If we describe Steven as autistic, it’s important to acknowledge Marc, Jake, and the other alters within the system as autistic, as well. They would each have their own unique experiences of autism.

Now, there is a whole other discussion to be had about whether the writers and directors of Moon Knight knew this (that’s a big topic for another time). However, my understanding from listening to Oscar Isaac’s interviews and watching his performance is that his intent was to portray the system as neurodivergent, and not just Steven.

As portrayed in the show, Steven seems to do the least amount of masking (i.e., learned behaviors that hide autistic traits in order to protect the individual from harm), which makes him “appear” more autistic to an outside observer.

Within Marc’s portrayal, he seems to have learned to mask more consistently (which would make sense, since he protects Steven physically), and so he behaves in a way that could be interpreted as more allistic. 

EDIT: On further re-watches of Moon Knight, while Marc often protects Steven physically, Steven is more of Marc’s emotional and spiritual protector, as I write about in this post. Marc is more of a trauma holder, and he may mask to keep people at bay to avoid further trauma.

As for Jake, it’s hard to tell his degree of masking, since we see him for only a few brief scenes. But extrapolating from his role as an physical and emotional protector in the system, it’s possible that he has learned to mask quite effectively, as well.

As we grow older, many of us autistics learn to mask quite convincingly, myself included. Masking is exhausting, and I hate it, but for me it is what is necessary to have a job. A few people that I work with know that I’m autistic, but most don’t, and I’m careful about who I tell. It also helps that I run my own business, and so I have some say in the clients that I choose to work with.

In the future, I want to talk about scenes from the series that spoke to me as an autistc person, and I'll include Steven, Marc, and Jake in that analysis. There are so many moments where Oscar Isaac makes character choices that resonate with me from an autistic perspective. But that’s for another time. Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. :P

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #oscar isaac #moon knight thoughts #i clearly have a lot of thoughts about this #ive been seeing some discourse online and i had to say something #this show just means a lot to me #and I want people to recognize marc and jake as autistic because they deserve to be seen #steven is still my fave because he is like the unmasked me i wish i could be all the time #but i have become more like marc as ive gotten older

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Walking In Two Worlds & The Everlasting Road

YA sff set in the near future where an opensource augmented reality is commonly used like social media, and there’s also a completely virtual fantasy game version

follows an Anishinaabe girl who who’s the top player in the VR game, and is constantly fighting to keep her place against the misogynist neo-nazi group in second place

as well as her real life, dealing with being a shy and self-conscious teen growing up on the Rez, and her brother having cancer

and a Uyghur boy who’s moved to her community from China after finding acceptance in an online community (even when he doesn’t agree with their more extreme views) - but when he gets to know Bugz, he has to decide who truly deserves his loyalty

great mix of sff and culture, the future while also very real community traumas of the past (and present)

#walking in two worlds #the everlasting road #wab kinew #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #This has some REALLY interesting and important concepts! #I just think it could have used some more development… Obvs this is YA and I’m an adult I know I’m not quite the audience! #There’s a lot of depth in the setup of the characters but I feel like it skips a lot of the progression #I think there could have been space for more development in a lot of places to make the story feel more dimensional #- but also has so many plot threads that maybe that would have bulked it out too much #It does also jump around quite a bit between the different parts but I think that makes sense with how juggling with irl / online life. #she’s got a lot of internalised fatphobia at the start (and the love interest going “I don’t think you’re fat!!” when people call her fat.. #then in book 2 suddenly she’s okay about it - again I wish there was some progression! #her brothers cancer journey is. basically all offscreen lol mostly as set up for plot in book 2. so it doesn't have the emotional impact it #could have.. #I liked the way it integrates her culture into the game in a really cool way (though I would have liked more detail there) #also having auto language translators but they regularly don't translate quite right / still run into issues - realistic! #the parallels drawn between his being taken from his family and put in a state education school and Indigenous residential schools #the way that a future world will never be as separate from the past as ur average sff future often portrays #but yeah anyway lots of good ideas execution not so much for me..

[leezuhh]

it's crazy to me that there are people out there who still think that media and fiction do not affect how people think at all

#like that whole 'does fiction affect reality?' debate is so stupid to me cuz it's like #i mean just think about it for a second. what is propaganda? what did jaws do for people's perceptions of sharks? #i think studying the effect that popular media and fiction has on people in real life is really interesting #and it's crazy to me that there are people on the internet who think that it genuinely doesn't #like umm shoutout vit sisler for his paper 'digital arabs' i just read it for my game studies class and it's super interesting #about like orientalization how western shooter games' usage of middle eastern/muslim stereotypes as enemies created both a negative - #- stereotype for people who arent in that group and how it negatively affects the mental health and self-image of the people who are #also shoutout stuart hall and richard dyer they're really cool people and also have some super interesting papers on how representation - #- in media affects people's IRL perceptions of certain groups #i know online this focus tends to lean on that whole shipping discussion but i think it's more worthwhile to look at it on a wider scale #because 'does fiction affect reality?' is not just a 'fandom ship war' discussion it's like. the basis for many fields of study #anyways umm #liza post #actually this is more like a #liza ramble #i love tumblr bc i can write a one sentence post and put my body paragraphs in the tags #it's really late and i am tired ‼️ i wish i could be more concise i just adore my game studies class and visual culture studies in general

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Had a good thing happen at work today and got a bonus 🤑

#bonus time baybeeee #celebrated by buying art supplies #because I needed new canvases to paint on #life of faye #wish I had more people I talked to regularly #so I could talk about good things when they happen and I feel good about them #i mean it would also be nice to have more people to talk to when I feel bad but right now specifically was a good thing #but like since I don't really talk to anyone very regularly now #except for my one online gaming friend #there's nobody to celebrate with #and I don't want to just reach out randomly to people because that feels like dumb bragging #so my other option is to scream the news into the void which is what I am now doing

[grellssquishyhusband]

Me to my friends: Black Butler is an unpleasant series with lots of negative and unhealthy stereotypes.

My friends: So you're gonna stop watching it and you're gonna stop drawing Grell?

Me: No wait she's my emotional support transphobic stereotype!

#based off an audio i heard online #black butler #kuroshitsuji #textpost #grell sutcliff #black butler grell #i mean like she could be a more transphobic stereotype! #she could in theory be worse! #the writers seem to be trying to do better with her??? #i wish they let her have female friends though instead of having her regard every woman in her life as competition #discounting red i guess but grell kills her so like ehhhh #sadge #my love for dollar store brand metton will never end #even if it probably should

[craycraybluejay]

are we gonna have to start making fake IDs in the opposite direction (posing as younger rather than older) to get data protections afforded to minors in some countries?????? because actually the state of the internet not only using all your data as it pleases but actively stealing your creative work is abysmal. ok google i am now eternally a teenager STOP TOUCHING MY DATA !!!

#fuck the internet #fuck ai everything #i have only ever heard of fake IDs adjusting age upward for more independence or to change ur identity #but now i think as this ai monster tries to eat everything we're going to have to #either have a professional clean all our data off the net and never touch a computer again and go back to typewriters and paper and pen #or get fake IDs and a bunch of complicated programs trying to protect users from the inevitavle death of the internet #i wonder if i posted fic written with paper and pen as images if ai could datascrape the given text? #i think for the time being i'm going to start trying to move my work to more secure means and maybe organize a protest #is 'stop bludgeoning the internet to death with your robots' a good slogan? #or something simple like 'theft isn't art. you cannot replace us' #idk comment ur thoughts #in truth if i thought i could have a viable career without online advertising right off the bat i'd swear off the internet #but as it stands the quickest way to network and gain clients and recognition is by advertising and being a real person online #i wish i could hire some online security expert or other to protect me :/

[eternal-reverie]

Something in the back of my mind has been bothering me for a long while, and I figured out what it was. I have this tendency of censoring myself when I speak? I dance around a subject, which I keep hinting at, but never explicitly say what I want to say, and when someone doesn’t pick up on that, I get disappointed when they don’t help me open up to the topic.

#the disappointment deepens and I guess the fear of truly opening up of showing my self flaws and all is scary #in short I’m scared to have an opinion!!! #also when people ask me what I’m into reading to watching oh man I feel the pressure to pitch it and possibly defend it #and instead I just vaguely share what it’s about for the sake of not spoiling the experience #then the envy I feel when other ppl share wholeheartedly what they love and take their time with it explaining #and they explain it so clearly and I wish I could do that #click clack #the problem was so vague it’s taken me awhile to discern #I’m guessing this all stems from being made fun of or dismissed for my interests 😔 #a long time ago but the effects still linger #the fear of being perceived is all wrapped in me #I do the same thing here. it bleeds to all the ways of socializing this day and age #I wish I were one of those ppl who have a more lively social life online and talking to ppl regularly #but my first instinct to a message is to close the notification and leave it for later because it’s so intimidating!!! #it feels like I have to perform an image that’s guaranteed to be liked rather than just be me authentically #ok I got to the crux phewwww uhhh lol got all my vulnerabilities out in the middle of the night

[lawlietscaramels]

crazy how to be popular and well known etc you have to have a distinct continuous style. to the tags

#i wish i could Pick a Style but there are so many cool artstyles and i gotta catch em all #this is only half a complaint i would kind of hate being limited to one style. #still the mentality “i have to recognise immediately to stick around and like your stuff” is annoying #and its extra frustrating when someone whose style is literally stick figures is 1000x more popular than a detailed thoughtful artist #like stick figure and simplistic styles are great #it's just shit that socials algorithms and people online want the same stuff forever #instead of unique cool detailed high effort high quality stuff #lei chats