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mysticficti0n · 11 months

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all my attention part 1

warnings- swearing, smoking, fights (mention of blood), gets a bit sad toward the end

words: 4.8k (im sorry)

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well. anyways enjoy its my first Kaultiz fic so maybe a little everywhere but please read and enjoy 🤍

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I sat backstage messing around with my mic waiting to do sound check, I love my job and I'm lucky to be doing this at 17 but I do miss laying in bed all morning and not having to worry about what I look like constantly "Y/n we need you now!" our stage directer called to me pulling me from my thoughts, I stood fixing my sweatpants around my hips and carried myself to stage were Gustav was sat taping away at his drums "okay just need to go through where you'll stand in schrei" I nodded waiting for the man to decide "go top left" I complied and made my way to the corner near to the blonde boy

"does my snare sound normal to you?" I herd Gustav ask then a loud hit on the skin of the drum, it was lower sounding then usual

"no.. maybe tighten it again" he nodded and began playing with the bolts at the side

"Y/n can you speak into your mic" he asked sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the pit

"hellllooooo" I spoke getting a laugh from the drummer

"perfect...okay your done can you send Georg out" I nodded walking back out wiping my eyes as I made my way into our backstage room, 'quickest sound check ever' I thought to myself

"Georg they need you" he huffed rolling his eyes and grabbing his bass

"its way to early for all this" I agreed "its half fucking six!" he grumbled leaving the room, my attention turned to the only other person in the room, Tom, he was slouched on the sofa with his dreads freely sat on his head, we near enough had the same outfit on except he was wearing no shirt, as usual

"how did it go?" he spoke looking up to me to which I shrugged "oh Bill wont be back till like 12 he has meetings and vocal shit to do"

"I thought, anyways how was yours?" I spoke referring to the soundcheck

"well my guitar wouldn't come through the speaker, then the mic cut and I tripped so, perfect" I laughed at his words "anyways wanna smoke?"

"yeah" I hummed seeing him stand and grab his cigarettes from my bag I brought with me, we pushed the exit doors open and walked into the warm morning air that was finally in Germany, it felt like it had been winter for ages but finally It was warming up "I don't know whether I feel like performing tonight" I sighed as he handed me a cigarette, I brought it to my lips and he lit it for me

"why not? you love it" he was right but today just felt like... not a good day to do anything "you'll be fine when we get out there, I know you will"

"I just.. I don't know" I hummed breathing white smoke from my lips

"is it because of Brian?" Tom spoke making my head snap to him

"Brian! no of course not, me and him were done weeks ago I don't fucking care about him" I defended

"because you know he's gonna be their tonight Y/n. look I'm not the one to usually say this but nobody else is saying it- you broke up only two weeks ago and you've ignored what your feeling"

"fuck Kaulitz you're going soft" he laughed taking a drag "and I don't have a 'feeling'"

"I don't give a shit.. wait no I give a shit about you, not him, but honestly are you okay?" he spoke placing an arm over my shoulder to which I sighed again resting my head on him

"i...no, but I don't wanna think of it uno, he made me believe he loved me and that he was the one but all I saw was him hitting it off with a stupid bimbo" Tom's grip tightened comforting me "am I that bad?" I asked laughing solemnly

"I mean.. I" Tom began with a sly smile

"fuck off" I laughed shoving the dreaded man

"hey! I'm joking" he rolled his eyes at my childishness

"but I am sexy as fuck, I have piercings, fuck I dye my hair and yet I'm not better than a skanky, badly blonde haired big lipped whore" Tom shook his head stamping out his cigarette to which I followed

"well tonight play like the git isn't there and if anything find a fan pull them up and kiss their god-damn lips" Tom was a bastard for revenge, when his last girlfriend broke up with him (many years ago) he slept with 5 girls and sent her a picture with the caption 'pussy4ever' I looked back to the boy as he began to speak again "or kiss me?" he smiled wriggling his eyebrows

"yeah sure I will Thomas" we both laughed, in fairness we always found ourselves subtly flirting with one another but never really meant it, the little jokes, touchiness, it was all good fun. We walked back inside and watched as Gustav came off stage swirling drum sticks around his fingers and Georg with a grumpy look across his face

"whats wrong with you sunshine?" Tom spoke holding the backstage room door open for me which I whispered a 'thank you' and sat onto the brown, cold, leather sofa

"fucking bass wouldn't link!" he groaned going to the fridge in the corner and pulled out a water "every time we kept trying and in the end it was the wrong line" Georg slammed against the wall and hit his head

"dude calm down its fixed now" Gustav spoke looking at the bassist who was in no need of being told to 'calm down' Tom sat himself next to me and rested an arm around the back of the sofa occasionally tapping my shoulder and laughing every time I looked to see who it was, we all sat in a comfortable silence all In our own worlds- I was worried for tonight, seeing Brian again is making feel like I need to be sick, I just hoped I wouldn't mess up my parts.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

we were all quickly pulled from our heads and turned to the door where Felix our stage director was stood "we need you all, don't bring your stuff" he spoke in a hurry and running back to who knows where, we all sighed internally and stood up. Being closest to the door I held it open for the other 3 but they all waited

"just go-"

"Y/n we have this argument all the time" Gustav pushed me through the door before I could even argue back and they followed out laughing as I shoved the drummer back with a yelp leaving his mouth. We made it to the stage and walked to the middle, the feeling in my stomach got considerably worse as for the first time I realised how big the show was going to be my eyes curled around the room I couldn't even see the end of the building

"what are we doing?" Tom asked coming to stand next to me and resting his arm on my shoulder as for him I was 'perfect arm height'

"well I need to explain lights to you-" we all gave a small look to one another, nobody want to stand and listen to how the lights will be during the set but we also all knew we had no choice "so when you-" I acted like I was listening but I faded away, I stared right threw Felix and I imagined Brian instead, those fucking dark blue eyes, curly brown hair and that emotionless face he pulled when he said 'we're over' it's been 2 weeks since it happened and Tom was right I didn't really show that I was upset in front of anyone or how the moment haunts me, but they don't see what happens behind closed doors...

"Y/n" I herd a whisper into my ear and I looked to the boy beside me, his eyes looked worried "we need a few minuets" Tom's voice cracked through what Felix was saying and before the older man could interject I was pulled away back behind the curtain "you need tissue" he spoke, my forearm still in his hand as he dragged me into the bathroom next to our backstage room

"Tom I'm fine" he shook his head pulling toilet roll off and folding Into a square

"so do please tell me why you're crying?" I sighed, I knew he wouldn't stop till he got an answer or something from me

"strobes make me emotional" I spoke looking to the floor but he wasn't playing around

"look at me" he commanded but my head wouldn't let me, and I just stared to my shoes "please" at that it was like a release button was pressed and my head snapped up, our eyes met straight away but vision became watery "talk to me-"

"what did I do Tom? I tried everything, he had everything he said he wanted, and he's the only fucking one who's ever wanted me for me, not because of you four guys, not because of my work or money, he wanted me!" I sobbed as for the first time I finally told someone how I really felt "I haven't said a thing but to know he'll be here tonight makes me feel like shit- I can't look at him Tom, after everything we did and for him... for him to say its over and the same night fuck a girl kills me every day! I loved him and this is what I got-" I called in an almost scream, I leant against the wall and slid down until I could feel the tile on my legs and I just held my head, crying into my palms

"I know, and I know its going to be hard babe I know" he spoke and I felt his hand stroke my head "and he wont be the only one to ever want you, so many people will, I promise, you can find someone so much better- fuck sake you're Y/n Y/l/n!. and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead" I nodded finally lifting my head and looking towards the boy who just opened his arms for me while crouching, quickly I jumped to him which for the first time in a while- I felt at peace

"yeah..yeah we will" I breathed hiding my face in his neck

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6:00pm (one hour before the show)

"HELLO!" a voice rung into the room followed by a spiky haired boy who walked through the door "fuck me its dull in here" he laughed coming over to sit on his make-up chair

"where the fuck were you!" Tom called to his twin In a angry tone

"meetings and voice stuff" the other brother came back with

"you said you'd be back by 12!" Tom shouted

"I got caught up alright get over it I'm here!" Bill rolled his eyes and slipped of his shirt and began changing for the show, I decided it'll be best if I did the same, the other 3 were ready anyways

"I'll be back" I spoke getting up and going to my bag pulling my outfit out and walking to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair really needed a re-dye, the Y/H/C was really starting to fade, moving on I took off my vest and bra and pulled a lacy black one out and slipped it over me so I didn't have to unclip it, I saw a glimmer of light in the bag and pulled it out seeing a matching thong 'Fucking Clair' I smiled to myself and quickly slipped it on, I did look good I couldn't lie, I posed in the mirror and fixed my hair around my head- I needed a photo "CAN SOMEONE GRAB MY PHONE!" I called waiting to hear a knock as I combed through my hair with my nails

"here- woah" I herd a voice behind me say and I quickly turned seeing Tom looking me up and down with a smirk appearing on his face "who's that for?" he asked leaning against the door frame, his eyes set on my body

"well first of all- how did you get in I locked it, secondly its not for you Kaulitz so don't get you're hopes up" I spoke facing him and his eyes only widened "get out Tom" I laughed seeing him raise his hands in defence

"hey! don't blame me" he smiled placing the phone on the side and walking out and shutting the door which I promptly locked smiling at the idiocy of the boy "dudes she is in a thong!" I herd Tom telling the rest to which they all 'ooo'ed at

"CREEPS" I shouted hearing an up roar of laughter, I rolled my eyes and carried on pulling the phone up and snapping a few pictures of myself, then I grabbed the skirt which just about covered anything and a white top which usually matched Tom's as we decided we'd being doing that for the next few shows. I left the bathroom holding my old clothes and phone and saw all their heads spin to the door "god you guys need to get some pussy or something" I grinned seeing them all blush

"do a twirl Y/n" Bill spoke re-directing the conversation and so I did and he clapped when I bowed

"don't do that on stage if you're facing the crowd" Gustav smirked "I just saw your ass and I don't think your mother would be impressed if that happened"

"good call, someone write- don't bend at audience!" Georg spoke settling in his seat, we all sat and could hear the faint chats of the audience that was arriving, I began pacing around the room humming my lyrics to myself over and over

"smoke?" Tom asked to which I passed him out the door and waited for him outside, the cool night air hitting my skin "here- you need to calm the fuck down" I nodded taking the cig out the box

"I just don't wanna mess up" he smiled at me, lighting the end of the tobacco and then his own "what if they boo me or leave?"

"babe they won't" his hand wrapped around my waist and held me gently "everyone loves you out there, I've seen at least 100 people in your shirts, you've got it" I looked up to him and our eyes connected instantly "if anything look to me I'll do something alright?"

"like trip up or was that only for soundcheck?" he fake laughed rolling his eyes again making me smile, the distance seemed to shorten, we do have our moments but those are funny- this felt real...? tension building around us, eyes locked and ash falling by our feet

"you know-" he began

"TOM Y/N COME ON!" Bill crashed threw the door, hair standing on end and dressed in black (new for him) we quickly broke apart and took one last drag from our smokes before kicking them out and walking inside, people crowded us giving us mics, drum sticks, picks, guitars, sprays, you name it we probably had it

"WELCOME.... TOKIO HOTEL" the speakers sounded and the twins swagged onto the stage followed by me and Georg and Gustav last going to his kit

"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called and the crowd erupted "how we all doing?" and the screams made us smile, it was such a familiar feeling but seeing everyone happy helped, Bill looked to me and gestured for me to come over so I brought myself to the front of stage passing Tom who winked to me getting a 'ooo' from the people in the room who saw, the black haired boy placed his arm around my head and the sea of people snapped pictures and screamed my name

"I think I know what the people want" I spoke with a smile, jokingly the boy 'leaned in' and screams of anticipation filled the building "no not that" I called as we pulled away and the boys behind got the cue to start playing schrei and I ran back to my place hearing the cheer only get louder as Bill began to sing- we loved destroying the imaginations of our fans, its thrilling there was always rumours, usually around me and that I am 'fucking them all' but it's defiantly not the case.

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It was time, I saw the boys look towards me and with a breath I joined the lead singer up front, being a backing singer I wasn't needed much but I was showing something tonight "so you all see my gorgeous girl Y/n here?" Bill spoke pulling me to the front of the stage, hands spiked up everywhere scratching to touch just a thread of our clothing "she has some news!" with a toothy smile Bill past me his mic and backed away back to the group behind- I wasn't used to being centre stage but it was crazy, I could see everything (ish) smiles and tear stained faces

"so you all know we haven't had new music in a few months right?" they all shouted incoherent words "well- you seem like a crowd who'd wanna see some new material!?" I looked back to the boys who were all dopily smiling at me as the people infront blew up in shouts "okay okay so, I wrote this song when I was at not an amazing time in my life.. I felt like giving up but instead, with the help of these, I wrote my feeling into a song, usually this would be preformed by our lovely Bill but.. just got tonight, I'll be singing" I hyped and the band got into places to start playing don't jump

I began singing the words and walking around the tip of the stage holding the hands of as many as I could 'On top of the roof The air is so cold and so calm I say your name in silence' until my eyes landed on him- the words seemed to be pulled from my mouth, everything went silent and he knew what he'd done to me... the song was partially made because of what he did before we broke up, my mind switched as I herd the strum of Tom's guitar- remembering his words 'and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead' with a breath I carried on stomping my way back up stage to the rest of the band Bill was off the other side by Georg and I went to my place by Tom, a smile smothered his face as I stood facing him 'hi' he mouthed, I let my free hand reach for his face and held his jaw getting a roar from the fans, Tom placed a kiss to my palm and I soon let go trying to hide a very big blush from swamping my face and our next move came to play- we both turned back to back as his strummed his guitar, I leant against him spilling my lyrics until the beat jumped again 'I scream into the night for you Don't make it true Don't jump The lights will not guide you through They're deceiving you Don't jump' I walked back to mid stage being followed by Georg first who smiled at me and banged his head, then by Tom who only smirked sending me a wink. I got to the edge of the stage and hands reached to me and I tried to hold them all 'And if all that can't hold you back I'll jump for you' the song ended and the building blew up, cheers, screams, claps it was a rush, I blew kisses to them all, my mind forgot about what I was thinking before. Bill and Gustav joined us at the front and we all did a joint bow getting a laugh from us all, the others let go but Toms arm still stayed around my shoulder pulling me close

"see told you they'd love it" he whispered I smiled looking to him, he was sweaty and panting slightly as when he concentrates to much he forgets to breath, his arm pulled me even closer and he planted a kiss to my forehead before the lights turned off- our queue to get off stage the 5 of us were ushered off and as I stepped over to be in the backstage area someones arms scooped me into a hug though I couldn't see because the whole place was pitch black "Ugh you did so well" it was Tom's voice, calming me instantly "they loved the song!" he spoke settling me down but still had me close "told you they would" I looked back to the sweaty guitar player and he pulled my head to his as he pressed a kiss to my forehead again

"get room!" Gustav poked erring a laugh from he rest "nobody wants to see a softy Kaulitz!"

"eh what do ya mean- he aint soft" Tom quipped eyeing his friend up

"gross" Gustav laughed walking his way back to our room, me and the other boy followed and walked in to see Bill lay on the sofa with his makeup nearly rolling down his face due to being so hot

"Y/n I can't get over the audience" the black haired man spoke "god... that was one of my fave ever shows"

"I can't get over it" i went to my bag and pulled my cigarettes out and the boys all seemed to perk up again "coming?" I joked seeing them all get up as we went to the outside, it was dark with only the security lights illuminating the floor, I handed them all a ciggy and pulled my lighter out and burning the end "I saw Brian, he was just kinda stood there" they hummed "I'm over it- he can fuck who ever he fucking wants because none will ever be as good as me" I groaned feeling the hot smoke going out my mouth

"I saw him and he just looked sad, he misses you, I can tell" Bill spoke getting a shove from Gustav "what? I doesn't matter. All I was saying is that he looked sad probably because Y/n/n was happy unlike when he last saw her" I laughed, we stood in a silence finishing our cigs, stepping them out and walked into a runner calling all our names

"BILL!...GEORG!?" he looked out off breath "Finally- we need you all, meet n' greet" we all had the realisation and practically sprinted to our room and began to spray any aftershave or perfume we could find as after running round and singing you sweat, meaning we don't smell the best, me and Bill fixed our eyes and hair and then we all walked out like we hadn't just shit ourselves and made our way to the front of the building to see a line of (mostly) fan girls crying out

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"thank you so much I loved the show and the new song! holy shit it was amazing" a girl named Bethany spoke hugging us all one last time, we were told not many more people so we fixed ourselves up and waiting for the next person

"I love the flowers" I spoke looking at the roses a girl called Alicia brought me "is their anyone else-" as I spoke the door opened with Erik (our runner) holding it for the next fan, we all looked up and saw a brunette boy.... blue eyes "what the fuck do you think you're doing?... seriously!" Brians eyes were red and face tear stained, I felt myself tense up at the sight, all the boys stood scarily still

"I want to talk to you babe" his voice shook, those eyes staring into mine, its like he didn't realise he was in a room of people who really did not like him "please its me... baby please"

"don't call her baby" Tom grumbled " she doesn't have to do shit for you" I looked toward the boy, his hands in a ball already he moved quickly, towering over Brian

"Tom" Bill warned but no remorse went to his twin, we all watched as Tom stared down at Brian saying words to fast to even work out, Brain looked like he was about to break down nodding his head

"and I'm not fucking lying- you ever touch her, talk to her, anything... I wont fucking stop until you can't move and my hands are red- understand?" I looked toward the others, I wasn't scared for Brian but more worried that something would happen, Georg got the memo and walked to the guitarist placing a hand on his shoulder, I saw Tom relax and walk back to us leaving my ex standing with shock on his face, he looked back to me

"please" he pleaded 'shit' is all I thought as I saw Tom's face drop, his knuckles white he stormed back to Brian "...dude-" he squealed before the guitarist had him up the door slamming him back and forth, I watched as my ex's face became red trying to shove Tom back but him being a lot shorter- he had no chance, perfect "GET THE FUCK OFF ME DICK!" he shouted and Bill grabbed his brothers shoulder and pulled him off

"leave I-" the singer couldn't finish as a fist flew into his shoulder "WHAT THE FUCK" Bil'ls hand collided with Brians face sending him back quickly followed by Tom punching down at the boy, nobody touches the other twin without the other one getting involved. The fight continued until a scream cut the room, blood was on Toms arm and he stepped back, Gustav was keeping me back by our picture wall and Georg stood next to him and seized looking over

"damn-" Gustav hummed, I looked over to see Brian holding his nose and Tom proudly standing above

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-" his words stung "this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!" my heart ached "fuck" he grumbled standing against the door, I looked to his eyes- black and blue. He took a step forward, stumbling slightly but he quickly found his feet again and came at me "YOU DID THIS!" I turned back waiting for my pain- a punch, a slap, a kick but I never felt it THUD I opened my eyes to see Georg on the floor slamming his fist into the boy again- he was really getting the works tonight

"BA-ST-ARD" he chanted before the door burst open to two runners with astonished faces who quickly grabbed their walkie-talkies and spoke some words I couldn't work out, within seconds security rammed in pulling Georg off of Brian who looked even worse and we were all taken back out "fucking dick what did he think he was doing!" and the five of us were pushed out the room

"arsehole" Tom stormed "hope he's in fucking pain for ages-"

"I can't believe he tried to punch me, ME!" Bill shook his head going through to our room I walked with Gustav giving him a 'look' to which he only nodded at "he's a dick" the boys all sat and I just stared into the mirror- those 5 minuets felt more like hours and I just didn't have any words

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-"

"this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!"

"YOU DID THIS!"

those sentences flying around my head, I couldn't pull myself away from it, I just looked at myself, I just felt- wrong

"what the hell! why did I just have to see security drag a bloody nosed kid out that room!" Our stage manger burst in "you lot are a world famous band we don't need stunts like that being pulled! 16 people have had to miss a meet n greet because of it!" he shouted but I couldn't hear him really- I wasn't there "Y/n!" he shouted snapping me back

"I'm sorry" I spoke turning to face him

"it's not her fault" Gustav spoke "he was fucking deranged" I laughed slightly looking back at him with a smile

"I don't care! its not a funny matter, its disappointing" we all nodded as he walked out, I turned to the boys and looked to the twins, Tom had blood over him still and Bill just looked pissed off

"I think I'm going to go to the hotel..." I spoke grabbing my bag off the side and hanging it over my shoulder and pulling my skirt lower to feel more covered "bye-"

"wait-" someone spoke "I'll come lemme clean myself up first- five mins" it was Tom, I nodded and settled myself onto my make up chair watching him run to the bathroom

"we're not annoyed at you Y/n, its not your fault" Georg spoke coming over stroking my shoulder "he's a prick"

"I know- I just feel bad, you all basically got hurt because of him and the whole thing was so pathetic I doesn't even seem real like.."

"yeah I get it- its fine, just sleep it off alright" I agreed and watched through the mirror Tom come back in

"ready?"

#tom kaulitz #Bill Kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz imagines #tom kaulitz smut #georg listing #tokio hotel #gustav schäfer #kaulitz twins #tom kaulitz icons #bill kaulitz

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colbyskies · 9 months

Text

The 10th

A quick emotional hurt/comfort drabble Bill Kaulitz x male reader 1k words

M/n and Bill are chatting happily to each other about Tokio Hotels next album. M/n watching the way Bill plays with his long black hair that falls beautifully on his shoulders as he talks. He tries to notice everything about the singer, from the way he claps his hands when he’s excited to the sour look he gets on his face when someone says something he doesn’t like. He observes Bill just as Bill observes him. The way Bill notices when something is bugging him from the way his eyebrows furrow in frustration or how they raise when he’s about to cry. Bill sees everything, it makes things easier for M/n, since he doesn’t like to talk about something that’s bothering him.

Just as Bill is about to make a comment about how annoying Tom was in the studio today while they were recording the English version of Schrei, M/n’s phone rings beside him.

“It’s my grandma, I’m gonna take this.” M/n smiles at Bill as an apology for the interruption. Bill nods in acknowledgement before M/n answers the phone.

“Hello?” M/n greets into the receiver, holding a soft smile on his face and in his eyes. Something Bill always admired about M/n, the way he doesn’t just smile with his mouth, it’s how you know a smile is genuine or not.

Bill watches as M/n’s face drops and instantly knows what the call is about. M/n’s eyes become glossy, “Okay.” The singer can feel the uncomfortableness radiating off the other wanting nothing more than to comfort him, but giving him the space to finish the call.

“That's good.” M/n has to practically hold back a sob, his words coming out choked.

“Mhm…thank you…goodbye, I love you too.” The second the phone is flipped close and by his side, he looks at Bill but his eyes aren’t focused on him. His head is loud, he has never felt like more of an ant in some big grand plan than he does at this moment. Unimportant, forgettable, unnoticed. His lonesome concerns were confirmed by the world’s silence and lack of life. His ears almost muffled to the sounds around him, the cars once driving on the street or the guitar playing from Tom down the hall now nothing but a faded memory.

It takes everything in him not to turn to a fix. Not to pick up a cigarette hidden in his drawers or down a bottle of pills. Just something, something to get this feeling away from his body. It’s all he needs, something to help him forget. He needs to get shit faced so he doesn’t have to face its harsh reality.

Bill knows what M/n needs without him even asking for it. “I'm sorry, M/n,” Bill mutters, pulling the other into his chest, playing with the hair on his head. The world settles just a little bit more with his body safe in Bill’s arms. He could tell M/n is holding back his sobs with the way his chest heaved.

“It’s okay M/n, we’re alone. I am here for you.” Bill’s voice brings him back, his words comforting him in a way that no one else could. That’s all it takes for the floodgates to open. M/n sobs violently into Bill's chest, clenching his shirt in his fists as Bill continues to brush a soothing hand over his back.

They sit there for a couple minutes until M/n bolts up and runs to the bathroom, Bill following closely behind. “M/n-” His voice is cut off by M/n throwing up into the toilet. The singer kneels beside the other, listening to the violent sobs rack his body as he continues to throw up. One hand held his hair back, while the other rubbed circles into his mid back.

M/n stood from the toilet and walked to the sink to flush out his mouth with mouthwash. Bill stood by him the entire time, his hands not leaving his body. Always sure that one hand is directly touching his skin, knowing that M/n needs skin on skin contact in order to stay calm.

They both walked back into the bedroom, Bill removing his shirt, before helping M/n with his. As soon as they’re both shirtless, M/n grabs onto Bill, holding him in a tight hug. He walks them slowly over to the bed and lays down with his arms tightly around Bill and his head on his chest.

The rhythmic beat of Bill’s heart calms the painful throb of his.

His heart clenches, it aches so bad. His chest heaves and his eyes hurt from crying, but there's nothing he can do to stop it. M/n is so tired, but can’t sleep, he’s so hungry but can’t eat. Tom comes by a couple times asking if either of them want anything to eat, M/n always shakes his head. Tom did end up getting him stuff anyway, but he doesn’t eat it. He can’t. All he can do is drink his water and juice boxes, focusing all his thoughts on Bill’s soft pale chest against his bare back. It does little to solve the way his heart chokes him, but it helps to fill that void with something hopeful. Bill’s quiet whispers in his ear helps too.

“You’re not alone…”

“I’m here for you baby…”

“It’s okay…”

Words that fall like a blanket over M/n’s shoulders, the weight of his awake nightmare rolling off his back. Every phrase soothes his aching chest more and more. M/n has yet to communicate besides just shaking his head or rubbing circles on Bill’s body to let him know he's still awake.

Every once in a while he falls back into a violent sob, his entire body shaking, his head hurting, and his throat raw, but Bill is always there to hold him. To tell him that everything is going to be alright, that he doesn’t have to suffer through this alone. Despite the words being little to what he’s going through, it helps him so much to know that he’s cared for, that he has someone to hold him and let him know he’s okay. Bill is there to soothe him, even at his worst, even at his most vulnerable and he couldn't be more grateful towards the singer.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x male reader #bill kaulitz x reader #x male reader #male reader #tom kaulitz

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weidli · 15 days

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liveblog to von affen und menschen under the cut cause it got long

off to a good start i like the atmosphere

auch wieder mal musikalisch fun which is good cause that's what makes me like züri brännt so much i think

fucking love sunglasses isabelle impeccable

obsessed

theyre doing menschenrechte for menschenaffe als thema and they can't even bring up the basel initiative come onnnnn liegt doch auf der hand

when will they let ME take a nap in peace in the zoo zürich smh

oh isabelle reacts FAST

wo isch d'tessa??? Im Nebel. Mit Gorillas. häääää????

oh i've seen this woman before i just know it

WAS FREYA IN DER LETZTE SCHREY I FUCKING WIN

now i need to go back to that one i love weimar episodes and i love watching actors speak high german when i know they're swiss

we're doing IMPERSONATION i love that for her

tessa das ist jetzt aber nicht sehr vorsichtig

wohnung suspiciously broken into and fucked up and she doesn't even check every room PLEASE. A BIT OF CAUTION

ehrlich gesagt aber auch very funny wie sie einfach gerade aussen telefoniert und nix mitkriegt und der typ da Ach nei jetzt chann i sie nid umbringe blöde jugend und ihri handys immer. awwwwkward

JUST GENERALLY A LOT OF THIS IS REALLY FUNNY ACTUALLY

staring at the mirror having killed her twin sister (notwehr ?) and pretended it was suicide unaware that she is now impersonating the person who committed a whole NOTHER tötungsdelikt possibly a mord: es isch VORBEI . dU dumme sau. yeah pal not sure this one's gonna end well

BAHNHOF ZÜRI TIMES YEEAAAAHHHH

goodness let them sleep

jsjsjsj love all the mirror talking going on this episode . you know this DOES kind of feel like it could've been a weimar plotwise. this is great i mean that as a compliment

auch maximal chaos gerade die hälfte schlaft ein die andere hälfte hat kein plan um was es gerade geht

love tessa throwing tissue ball at noah and him looking very proud when he manages to duck. no one takes that man seriously in here

ach ja die schon oft angedeutete bundesgerichtsstelle für d wegenast

isabelle is so goddamn cute sometimes

immer noch kein plan was der eine kerl eigentlich vor hat aber ok guess we're infiltrating the krankenhaus

the simultaneous wordless sunglassed sighing. i'm in love with this episode

HELP

oh right i forgot about the very first dead guy

somebody please let them sleep

AND THEYRE STILL SHORT ONE they haven't found nicole yet

kdhsj poor isabelle

okay i want to hear about the background child dressed as a cowboy with an arrow in his arm. tell me more

noah just sitting there while isabelle and tessa Construct Theories. i suspect no one's told him anything

this is PROPER iasip conspiracy board shenanigans

tessaaaaaa stop calling it mord if you don't know that it's mord and in fact have no clue what the motive was that's my personal pet peeve >.<

NOW we've got the full set of leichen

at least so far

isabelle taking out her gun to stand there dramatically and aesthetically and tessa's just like Cmon really ???

i love isabelle's euphemisms for kicked the bucket. still adore the time in schoggiläbe at the hotel where they were like oh should we leave a message and she was like No need. Er ist ... schon abgereist. "hat sich Ihrer Haft entzogen" ist nearly as neat

huge fan of charlie and the affen

DU SCHLÄFST? OHNE MICH??

tessa has a sister? noted

so much is happening and there's half an hour left

aaaaand they're lost in the woods

oh right that fuckin other guy we still know nothing about

and NOW isabelles in a garbage can. and tessas shaving a dead chimp

god bless milan truly

isabelle you're slowly losing marbles go get some SLEEP woman

oh but there is some FASCINATING characterization going on at the intersection of isabelle digging the diamond out of garbage bags and climbing into the garbage to do it so she can give something to milan and have something for herself (No one's ever given me anything). and then have tessa list out the lauf der dinge all lead by greed and isabelle says not all of us have a chance at inheriting millions and tessa says what does that have to do with this. the rich kill for greed too just more elegantly and isabelle says you mean they don't get their own hands dirty. nibbling on her gently

MORE hbf

tessas subtle hoodie and sunglasses look very funny to me personally

oh tessa charlie needs you :(

wegenast with the schüfeli funniest fucking thing

i am so much fonder of her after this than i was actually. also the triumvirate momence was real good

Yeah that was a good one :)

#tatort zürich #no id

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b-kaulitzx · 10 months

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BILL KAULITZ || Pulling you on stage ||

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You & your bestfriend, Adam were at a Tokio Hotel concert. It was the late 2000s, people dressing how ever they liked. A few girls with dresses on and jeans. Crop tops, glasses, jeans, jackets. You name it, you were in the 'gothic' part of it. Chunky boots, fishnets, black Jean shorts, crop tops, black small jackets, you name it.

You heard of the band two years ago, by your bestfriend. He wouldn't stop rambling on about them. I personally always liked bill and Georg. They are both extremely hot, now in person you couldn't lay your eyes off them.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You were staring at Georg, trying not to freak out that Adam got tickets for your birthday week. "YOURE WELCOME Y/N" Adam screams, making sure I can hear even though he screamed right by my ear. "YEAH THANKS A". A few minutes pass, jamming out to Schrei. I notice Bill walking closer to the front of the stage, and then winks in my direction. He gets even more closer and puts a hand out, reaching for me. I turn to Adam and act surprised(😦), I turn back around to Bill, grabbing his hand. Security pushing me up, I reaching the stage I turn to the crowd and then back to Bill. "Whats your name, Schatz?" He says into the Mike and points the microphone to my mouth. The crowd goes wild, screaming. "Oh! Um y/n!" . I say, holding in my excitement, "Well y/n, why don't you come back stage after we got done,". He winks at you, "that would be nice" I smile, bill turning back to the crowd and starts signing again, about a few seconds later, turning the microphone to you. You guess you have to finish the lyrics. You do and he nods, this goes on until the show is done.

Adam cheers you on from the crowd, being louder than usual. You smile at him and once the show is over, most of the people are gone, you spot Adam and get down to the stage sitting on the edge while he rests his arms on the railing. The band is getting water and snacks while u wait for them to get done. "Y/N! jesus how was it, if that was me i would have literally cried! " He says, his fvoice raspy from yelling. "Oh my god adam, it was fucking amazing. Surprisingly didnt get stage fright". He claps softly, "look, snice your gonma chill out with the band, I'm gonna go home okay? He's some money to get a cab, plus you guys will probably be drinking so that's even better". He throws a 50 dollar bill at you, missing the stage and falling on the floor. He winks and leaves, "adam? Bro im not getting off this stage!" You yell at him, he turns around and laughs. "Oh my God, damn it" you jump down from, the stage, grabbing it and stuffing it in your back pocket. You turn around trying to get back on the stage, you keep failing. You turn around, facing the few little people in the crowd, trying to jump on stage while a few people look at you is kinda embarrassing. You hear someone's voice "need help?" You turn around and see Georg, a layer of sweat on his face. "Oh! Please, I've been trying for the last like 2 minutes". He reaches his hand out for you, grabbing it and pulling you up. "That wasnt hard, Y/n" He grins, "it is when im not tall enough" he let's out a small laugh, "come on, Bill hasnt shut up about you snice we left the stage". He leads you to a black current and pushing it over you, you go under it and see the rest of the band. "Oh bill, shes here" He tunes out, "ah, y/n!" he turns to me and smiles, "your singing was awesome Y/n!' Bill says, walking up to me and shooing Georg away. "Thanks, bill. You were amazing yourself".

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I honestly wanna add more but i just pulled an all nighter and im tired. ive had this thing SIT in my drafts for like 5 days so yeahhh. Also this is so long my bad yall, this was supposed to be like 2 paragraphs💀 Also didnt proof read because im lazy

#Spotify #billkaulitz #Tomkaulitz #GeorgListing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitzxreader #bill kaulitz fanfic #bill kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz imagines #Im bored #and tired #save me #b-kaulitzx

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mephicchi · 1 month

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So a friend of mine released her first book and I'd appreciate it a great lot if you followed her on story.one (through the link that I'm gonna throw at the end of this) , you need to make an account for it and input a first and last name but y'all can obviously just use made up names since you can see the names of who is following a person. (Don't want any of you to dox yourselves)

Just trying to spread some positivity and support, I don't blame anyone scrolling past this, if anything thanks for even reading this mwah.

(Beware, it is in german)

#personal stuff

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tessabennet · 2 months

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Pick a song for each letter of your URL, and then tag that many people!

Thanks for tagging me @random-jot 🥰 this time around I'm just gonna do a german songs only version of this (recommending them with all my heart)

Tanzt du noch einmal mit mir? - Broilers

Eisgekülter Bommerlunder - Die toten Hosen

Schrei nach Liebe - Die Ärzte

Sommer in Schweden - Revolverheld

Angeber - Die Ärzte

Bonnie & Clyde - Die toten Hosen

Ein Sommer nur für mich - Die Ärzte

Nur ein Wort - Wir sind Helden

Nie wieder Krieg, nie mehr Las Vegas! - Die Ärzte

Eine letzte letzte Runde - Donots

Tag zur Nacht - Montreal

Tagging @mskatharinak @tree-of-blue-squirrel @somethingsgottasaveyou @myladyofmercy @somanywords @undefeatednils @heartshapedvows @mythicalmxyhem @libraryofglitter and @juiceboxdrink (if you guys want to of course ✌️)

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sechsherzen · 7 months

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I was tagged by @gothtoast @kitthefox and @struwwelzeter, thanks guys!

RULES: When you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people!

I decided to go with the top song from each of the top 5 artists in my on repeat spotify playlist, just to have a little variety. if I did top 5 songs straight up, it would only be two artists lol.

ICE nach Düsseldorf - Die Toten Hosen

RAGE - Emigrate

fleabag - YUNGBLUD

Schrei nach Liebe - Die Ärzte

Navigace - Visací Zámek

I'm not gonna tag anyone because literally everyone I know has already been tagged so there wouldn't be much point tagging them again. but if someone sees this who hasn't and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#I don't do playlists I just listen by album/artist so if I did my top 5 songs straight up it would only be DTH and Emigrate #hence why I did top song from each of my top 5 artists to get more variety in there #I have listened to all of these in the past week so it's not really cheating anyways #in a way I'm surprised I even have 5 artists in my on reapeat lmao #tag game #I prefer linking songs through youtube for games like this cos not everyone uses spotify #but ICE nach Düsseldorf isn't on yt so I had to link that one from spotify lol

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ausmaeandern1102 · 14 days

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240416 1528

ya, viel gibt's nicht zu sagen, außer, dass ich schon wieder wach bin, ansonsten konnt ich nichts anderes machen, als den pc zu starten, und ich hab's ja, sehr knapp, auf lvl47 geschafft, eigentlich nicht sehr knapp, weil ging ziemlich schnell, aber ich hab halt noch andere sachen gemacht, und dann ging's nicht so schnell. aber das leveln selber, in ????, ging ziemlich schnell.

nun, also bin ich schon da, mit meinem arisen plaingirl und dem pawn plaingame, und ich muss wohl verwirrt gewesen sein, und dann kam todd howard schon wieder an, neben den anderen anspielungen, in dem scheißspiel, dragons dogma 2, und was auch immer. und es stand noch darüber, go-earl awakening, und das muss mich wohl verwirrt haben, und dann .... es ist leicht lustig, weil mein mega pawn von dd1, der gray badger, ich muss ihn wohl gelöscht haben, ich weiß nur, das hat ja angefangen mit fallout 76 oder auch nicht, ich weiß es nicht mehr genau, wie gesagt, seit 2020 weiß ich nicht mehr so viel, außer dass ich angefangen habe, 171 zu bilden, als derivat von 171o, und das war ja der absolute nullpunkt.

was ich weiß, ist, dass ich dann noch meinen letzten dd1 pc pawn gemacht habe, aber eigentlich ging's da nicht um den pawn, sondern ich wollte zu dem zeitpunkt noch das spiel spielen oder auch nicht, und ich hatte da meinen neger magier, hatt ich gemacht, aber nicht als pawn, sondern für mich, damit ich mal magier spielen kann, ich weiß nicht, ob ich ihn doomfist genannt habe, aber was auch immer.

was wollt ich sagen? ja, erinnerungen, dd1 besessen, weil man kann ja auch noch die karte schön finden, und die blumen kartographieren, und auch schon zu der zeit war da irgendwie, waren diese 3 gegner, die es da gibt, diese blasen, und war da der schrei, der öfter vorkommt, oder auch nicht, in dd1, aber die banshee macht den ja, und ich weiß nur, dass ich irgendwie schwer gehirnerschüttert war, das muss auch die zeit gewesen sein, wo ich bei overwatch die sprache geändert habe, und die farben, dass alles nur noch neon-idiotisch aussieht, und es muss wohl auch die zeit gewesen sein, in etwa, als fallout 76 rauskam, und es muss auch in etwa die zeit gewesen sein, aus der heraus ich diese filme, die auf meinem twitch kanal zu sehen sind, weil ich hab da ja diese beiden fallout3 movies hochgeladen, und es muss die zeit gewesen sein, in der alles begann. was auch immer.

das hier sind nur 4, geh-schichten, geh-richten, geschichten von der leerhohsilbe, von der LHS, und von mir.

ya. was wollt ich schreiben, ich muss wohl verwirrt gewesen sein, und wenn die schule nicht richtig ist, müsst ich auch'n dauerständer haben, zum glück gibt's im englischen ja kein wort für schule, sie brüchststen ja auch durch, durch die ohnwohnseite, und das hab ich noch nicht bemerkt, weil es heißt ja groß-beiverräter, groß-brittanien, und wie das dann mit brüchstst zusammenhängt, break on through, weiß man auch nicht.

ya, wie dem auch sei, nicht viel zu berichten, der arisen, der arschistin, der are-is-en, der RSN, der arisen heißt plaingirl, und ob ich nochmal uptown girl singe, ist auch unbekannt, gezäunt gezäumtes gezogenes daumen girl, aber für girl braucht man ja auch so viel, als zick zack girlande aus elektronenblitzen, sie lebt in einer da-unten dick-eigenen d-verfehmten daunenheit, auf den rehen oder tieren oder den teigen, aus denen man macht: tu etwas, tu tu tu, tu etwas, denn ich bin off, oder LLLLLL, oder diesel, oder am laufen, oder am laufen machen, oder einfach nur am lügen, am beheben oder am auftreten, mit ner ob über unter ab gezäumten oder gesäumten oder gezäunten oder gezogenen girlande aus blitzen, mein uptown girl. that's what i said. o-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. your your your yooooooooor. your your your yooooooooor. mit 2 negern, ist es weniger arschalleineauffindbar. hier sind wir 4 nun, drück uns 2 unter. yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeahahahahahahahahaahahhahahhahahhahahahha. i like it. i'm not gonna crack.

aber wie auch immer. ja, nicht viel zu berichten, und der arisen heißt plaingirl, und der pawn heißt plaingame, aber stimmt halt nicht, weil ich war dann verwirrt, und das erstellen des pawns hat mir mehr freude bereitet als erwartet, und beide sind neger, und mein pawn ist ein negermädchen, aber ich war so sehr von dem wort plaingirl und von dem go-earl awakening war ich so sehr verwirrt, dass ich das nicht bemerkt habe, dass mein RSN schon plaingirl heißt, und so hab ich den pawn einfach ebenso plaingirl genannt, ist mir erst 5 minuten später aufgefallen, dass jetzt beide plaingirl heißen, aber ich hatte auch so viel freude am erstellen meines negermädchens, dass ich das nicht bemerkt habe, und auch nicht bemerkt habe, dass es ein neger ist, oder, dass es ein mädchen ist. hab ich beides nicht gemerkt, und nun heißt der pawn auch plaingirl.

tja, was gibt's zu berichten, außer dass sir gregor gefallen ist, und ich einen anderen weg brauche nach soirse runan, man muss dann durch die bbi von dd2, durch die waterfall cave, aber ich bin noch dabei, und was gibt's weiter zu sagen? ach so, sollte dann 1 fighter sein, und deswegen mage und thief wohl auch, skillen, weil verve und vor allem das dings da, gratification heißt das augment, jié ausgesprochen heißt das wohl ... gra- heißt wohl schritt, und ti- heißt wohl titten und fi- heißt wohl ficken, und den rest kann man sich ja dazuhuren, weil friede heißt ja auch hure, und krieg heißt hören, und das heißt gratification, aber ist ja auch egal.

nun, ja, es bleibt noch zu bemerken, ich weiß es nicht, das ding ist jetzt mage 3 und beginnt thief, weil ich weiß auch nicht genau, wie viel zeit ich habe, und ich wollte den account dann benutzen, um endlos zu spielen, aber ich weiß ja noch nicht, ob ich lust darauf habe, weil höchstwahrscheinlich hab ich keine lust darauf, aber ich weiß auch nicht, was ich anderes machen soll.

dass der pawn ganz lustig aussieht, weil ich bei posture oder so, hab ich den wert für nach-vorne-gebückt-gehen auf maximal gesetzt, und so sieht der pawn ganz lustig aus. wie das ist mit fighter, weiß ich nicht, aber vielleicht wird's auch ein thief pawn, weil mit thief sieht er wirklich lustig aus, und ansonsten ist es auch egal, aber auch nur, wenn ich auf lvl99+ bin, weil den pawn kann dann ja eh keiner heuern, and that's what i said. mit meinem hoch auf unter, ab an auf abbb, mit meinem uptown girl, aufgezäumt, gesäumt, gezäunt, oder mit gratification, mit dem schritt aus den titten, der ficken geht, she's been livin in a white S world, that's what i said. your your your your your. your your your your / your your your your / your your your your your your. with an uptown girl. sie lebt in einer groß bei ver räter welt, in einer korrupten welle, in einem strich, der gebogen und gerissen ist, in einem arsch, und in einer doppelhohlkugel, my uptwon girl, that's what i said. was das auge, was das eigene, was das ölende, was das alle, was das sagt oder sieht, oder schaut, oder für schön befindet, oder was das wasser und das wither ist, was das das und was die titen sind, das hab ich gesagt. your your your your your your your your your your your your your your. your your your your your your your your your your your. weil ich bin am mitlaufen, um am laufen, und ab abbb abbbben, und am offen und am oven und am laufen und hochheben und am leben und am verlassen und am wegschicken und am beheben und hochheben, mit den sternen, unter den girlanden, bei den feuerwerken, bei den blitzgefärbten zickzacklinien, bei dem uptown girl. that's what i said.

1612

ya, um den schwachsinn noch auf die nächste stufe zu treiben, i'm on a plane, i can't explain, take your time, und es gibt ja auch diese tomes, die man sich holen kann, tell me to me, do you feel this preshair now, it takes so long to explain.

ya, das ist alles, was ich sagen wollte.

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