#i'm still at work and spaced out so hard

[crow-with-a-pencil]

Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)

#my ârt #crush depth #crush depth spoilers #fnaf #tw blood #tw drowning #idk how many others apply #anyways this is midnight crow coming out of the shadow realm to scream at you #first of all a cs ramble is on the way I'm still recovering from that fic too #im biting you naff im biting you so dang hard #I don't even know much about iron lung besides watching a play through but damn do you make me want to know more #just. where do I even start. the atmosphere is established so well and even though there was such a small space to work with I FELT it #I felt the claustrophobia I felt the walls and the console and the single dim lightbulb as my only solace in this death trap #the THOUGHTS #poor yn had so much time to just get lost in their head and spiral pretty much constantly #the dread. the constant overhanging dread of knowing there's a 99% chance they're not getting out of there alive and at this point #they just want to accept it and let it end bc there's hardly anything to go back to if they live #naff. look at me. reading some parts made my chest actually tighten with dread. it was so well done. #this poor human just buried in existential horror and just wanting it to end in a slightly less painful way #and the unknowable beings trapped outside who absolutely REFUSE to let that happen #god those eldritch fish were trying their hardest but just couldn't get in #yn was trapped inside while they were trapped outside and I just #I am EXPLODING the more I think about it #thinking about when they thought they were drowning and tried to breathe again #wanting to die but still having that instinct to survive #asking to be ripped apart but still cherishing their last breath of air #I'm shaking you I'm shaking you I'm dying on the floor #ough. #I'll never mentally recover from this and I want you to know I genuinely get inspired by your writing #this has been midnight crow ramblings. I just hit the tag limit. have a lovely night.

[blindmagdalena]

Eat Your Ego, Honey ( Homelander x OC )

ongoing series. words to date: 49k. 18+ main themes: dark romance, stalking, sex work, unhealthy relationships, alcohol, codependency, trauma bonding, rough sex. see AO3 for detailed tags.

summary: Layla Alden is an escort who specializes in the marriage of sex and emotional intimacy. In an effort to protect herself in an inherently hazardous industry, she enforces a strict ‘No Supes’ policy. Homelander doesn't take no for an answer, and insists that she take him on as a client. She's quickly caught up in the maelstrom of his life, forcing them both to confront feelings of obsession, danger, love, trauma, sex, and how the entanglement of all of those things have shaped their lives.

Homelander is an enigma. One moment he is moving with sexual prowess, eager and confident in himself, and the next he is subdued, utterly entranced by nothing more than a bare-handed touch. He shows all the trappings of a man who has had plenty of sex, but very little intimacy.

AO3 Link | Spotify Playlist

Tumblr Chapter Index:

Chapter One: Company

Chapter Two: It Will Come Back

Chapter Three: Stalker's Tango

Chapter Four: One Way Or Another

Chapter Five: You're Mine

Chapter Six: Gods & Monsters

Chapter Seven: Middle of the Night

Chapter Eight: I Found Love

#homelander x oc #homelander fanfiction #the boys fanfiction #homelander x ofc #i was running out of space for links in my pinned post sooo seperate post time! #i'm still terrible at formatting stuff like this i'm sorry but I DID MY BEST #also officially claiming carla gugino as layla's faceclaim wheee #it was sooo hard not to start rewriting old chapters as i was putting this together #i'm so sorry if anyone mistakes this for ch 8 but the good news is that i AM working on that #my writing #eat your ego

[thediktatortot]

.

#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own #I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own #to make my own or to spread out and have my own space #People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult #and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking #fictional shit all day #sure I work on the property but so fucking what #I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do #I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things #and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone #idk #I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about #everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe #more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain #that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck #I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation #I can't contribute so whats the fucking point #The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time #not like it's going to change anything #if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time #my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything #not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age #honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away #maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people #idk i'm just fucking done with everything #I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos #I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness #but I'm also not a dating person #I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around #i want a life time relationship

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

[vargaslovinghours]

Known for his stunning smile and striking gaze

#💟 #Doodles #Art #Scriabin #Edgar #And Also With You #I've also gone ahead and added all the previous Strangels under that tag as well so have at it <3 #So many silly single images sparked lol #None from in-fic - that'll be next time òuó ✨ #Just silliness since I was already drawing them and they were very much on my mind lol #Sharp-tooth Scriabin was Very much an image haha ♪ He's just so smiley! Love that #And since he has such sharp teeth clearly he's gotta be smooth from all directions that's how it works #Just a casual invitation lol #It feels very obvious that I drew that one later since the texturing and details are so much better lol ♪ Improvement! #I do really enjoy drawing all their details! For realsies! I just draw so condensed per page that I tend to run out of room :') #And it can be hard to keep the negative space clean lol - but I can still try! #He's gotta be a nuisance about it lol just drag him he'll catch up when he gets scraped enough #A raven has wings and it quoth - why not a dour angel? #I feel like the last one could work for them normally too but there's just something so fun and flirty with Demon!Scriabin ah ♥ #I'm also especially pleased with how the lines turned out in that one ah #The light touch behind the fire!! I wish I'd had more energy to draw 'cause it was all turning out like that #It's so fun to draw when it goes well lol

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[the-casbah-way]

i know that being hyperaware of how weird and awkward i am only makes me act more weird and awkward but. i cannot stop

#i have to meet a bunch of new people at work tomorrow i feel really bad for them] #like usually. #when i meet a new person i just talk loads about stuff they did not ask about and that's usually a better kind of weird #but right now i am so spaced out and still kind of sad so i'm just kind of There. i have nothing to say girl #you're going to talk at me about files and doc review and i am going to dissociate so hard i can't even nod #good thing these people are fucking nothing to me and their opinions are not real

[forbiddennhoney]

srry for the sad posting

#personal #i cant believe I'm crying in the work bathroom over this #i wish i could just feel mt feelings rn abt this instead of having all the nuances pop into my hear #i desperately wish she hadnt apologized yet #she put a ball in my court that i didnt want yet bc i still needed to ice my ankle and do PT before playing again #<< metaphor in case its unclear to the like 1 or 2 ppl who might read this #but like i cant stop thinking about this stupid apology #ik she said it bc she probably meant it #but i wasnt READY FOR THAT #the only reason i even reached out was to say “hey give me my stuff back im giving you yours back” #i tried so hard NOT to engage with the emotional side of the convo bc i did NOT have the space for it #and now i feel like the bad guy bc im not answering her for this apology #bc im not READY #and its been in the forefront of my mind for literally like 48hrs now #oughghgh

[funeralprocessor]

.

#I feel so alone and unable to connect with anyone #I have to fight so so hard not to isolate myself but all I can ever really drag out of myself is just lurking at the sidelines #terrified that saying anything (and thereby proving how annoying and shitty I am) will make even that too much to ask of others to tolerate #and the moment anyone tries to reach out to me or comfort me all I can stand to do is put on a mask and redirect and assure them I'm fine #so that I can go crawl into a hole and die alone #or at least lick my wounds til they become scars #the primary concern that kept me from suicide for years wasn't a hope for the future or a desire to live #it was not wanting to upset whoever found me and make more work for whoever had to deal with the wreckage of my failed life #even in death I feel bad for taking up space and being a bother #If I had managed to find a nice place that nobody would ever find I think I'd still be there #the moss and roots cradling moldering bones after my flesh had fed lives far brighter and more worthy than my own #and I can't help but feel a little envious #corpseposting

[beelzzzebub]

the only thing getting me through is the thought that i don't have physics lab next week

#i actually enjoy the work honestly #but the time constraint for getting things done is so anxiety inducing #it always makes me feel so inferior to everyone else #it's just always new stuff to me #and i take longer than everyone else to work through stuff #and it's hard for me to get stuff done #especially when it's new material #and because we're always given such broad and confusing directions #it makes me feel so stupid but i just wish that instructors could give more in depth and specific instructions #because otherwise it'll take me like five times as long as everyone else to figure out what we're actually supposed to be doing #and even then i'll be extra worried that i haven't got the right idea #even when i'm listening to or reading instructions i have to go over it several times before i understand #i need time for the words to become more than just symbols and sounds #and then i need time to connect their meaning to the context of what i'm doing #it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing #and i know i'm smart and capable #i always end up doing well #i'm at an 'academically challenging institution' and i know i got in here on my own merit #hell i graduated as a valedictorian with the highest test scores in my high school #but still somehow every time i sit in a space next to other people #i feel infinitely small and worthless

[wildermouse]

vent iii.

#yeah i could just make a 'read more' post but tags are better for me #more hiding #anyway #i have this problem where my sister is probably moving out next year but she can't rly do that without me bc her dog has issues #and i would have to take him out and feed all the animals while she's at work during the day bc nobody else can #but even with that being taken into account she would still charge me over double what i'm paying now for rent and i cannot afford that #and she says i'd have to get a job too but excuse me how am i supposed to work when i also have to be home to look after your animals?? #barn job would be nice bc short hours but it also wouldn't be enough to pay what she'd charge me #so i'm screwed there #anyway i WISH i could make enough money to live on my own but i CAN'T #ik i probably sound very lazy and spoiled and i get that i am definitely priviliged to get to live at home for cheap rent #but it also fucks with my mental health so bad living here. and i want to live on my own but it's just not an option rn #i have dreams and they're such basic sad dreams that i still don't think i'll ever accomplish #like i want to live in my own small travel trailer. that's all. my own space. or a tiny falling apart cabin that i can fix up #that's all i want and it seems impossible for me #i'm not built to live in this world. my body and mind cannot take it. i have tried. i've tried so hard #honestly if i had to work full time again i don't think i'd actually be able to stay alive to benefit from it. it would burn me out too bad #there's no win for me #i'm still trying to figure something out but i'm honestly not hopefull at all

[the-busy-ghost]

Is laundrycore a thing? It should be

#I just have strong feelings about linen #Not that I'm any good at taking car eof it #Aesthetically though? *Chef's kiss* #Linen chests are a magnificent thing #Also white laundry on a line on a summer's day is very much a Mood #And I love those old washhouses you get behind Victorian houses in Scotland #Probably they were not so great when they were being used but dear god the Belfast sinks #I have been obsessed with Belfast sinks since primary school- my school was built in the 20s and had these huge sinks #The epitome of solidity and reassurance #Also used to love those Victorian irons they showed us in school with the heated bit that you slide out #And have you ever been in a luxury hotel? Who gives a shit about the food the beautiful bed and the fluffy towels are where it's at #Also Jeeves is in here somewhere ironing collars #Not to mention the folkloric importance of the Bean-nighe #I mean I realise of course that older laundries were frequently not the healthiest places to work #Even modern laundry can fuck up your hands #That being said there is a whole history around washing spaces- from the way that women used to gather in mediaeval villages #around wells and streams and that's how they passed news on; to the cultural icons that were the Glasgow steamies of the twentieth century #And imagine what it must have been like to see the huge drying green on Glasgow green or the bleaching grounds near other towns #On the one hand it's rather sad that places like the drying green of Dunblane are no longer used though still public space #But on the other hand think how much modern technology has freed us from the a lot of the hard labout #BUT still leaving us the ability to learn more about and take care of our garments and by all people not just housewives #Machine washing is also a godsend if people are ill and have to spend a lot of time in bed or if you have kids or pets #On the other hand taking the time to properly take care of your clothes and bedding feels like such a peak act of self-care #I only wish I had the skills to be better at it #This post brought to you by my frustration with my tiny washing machine #You can barely fit a double bed set in it #But at least I have a linen kist #And am absurdly proud of it like some sixteenth century gudewife #Laundrycore #The latest silly aesthetic to dangerously over-romanticise

[fooltofancy]

might throw up actually.

#not to be that dumb bitch who needs validation but @ my mom please pick up your phone i need someone else who knows me and my situation #more intimately than the internet where i complain #to tell me that giving up and moving back to sd is okay #i don't want to move back to south dakota #but like. the options are moving back to south dakota #or continuing whatever is happening here because i can't figure out here #at least if i'm working for pbs again i won't 1. hate my job 2. hate who i'm working for or 3. continue to destroy my hands #also i will just have. kinda space to figure out a number of things i don't even have space to think about rn #MOVING HARD THOUGH the apartment i was looking at previously is still listed but that makes me nervous lmao #there are so few properties that allow pets in verm because college town and that's fair #but god #i dont think i can move without lenore ): #will actually die #probably it will be lenore and sophie because i don't want the baby to have to be by herself #the worst part actually splitting up the cats #horatio will be so sad lenore is his pillow #but wyvern loves kiel and i don't think i can take him #idk if i can do this dude idk how to live #very much did not expect that position to open up so soon #though based on how training that man went. not particularly surprised. kinda surprised he lasted as long as he did

[el-im]

#trek #captain's log #best parts: 1. starting off with 'take this pink ribbon off my eyes / i'm exposed and it's no big surprise' #and (nearly) ending with 'hand me a blindfold / i can't bear to watch anymore' in m'aidez #(moving from too nervous to go on away missions to being ashamed of the part she took in the xindi mission when the whole crew's moral #compasses were tossed out of the airlock after they entered the expanse) #*edit: this was in my drafts for a long time and i've been fucking w this playlist so it doesnt start w just a girl anymore #so that you have a pre-joining ent narrative #(dreaming/the tide is high is supposed to be about when she was working as a professor in rio/archer recruiting her) #but still.... just a girl is up early. lmao. #2. the fact that i put 'the oldest established (permanent floating crap game in new york)' on this. and then took it off. and then put it #back on. and then took it off. and then put it back on. and then #3. this must be the place. i really love this song in its own right but it's so popular that i have a hard time using it bc i think it's #generally overused but... i love the idea of hoshi coming around to space travel+enterprise becoming her home. i love her realizing that #she's become comfortable in a place she used to find confining and frightening #theres a lot of kate bush in this but i LOVE them heavy people as a hoshi song. reminds me of 'exile' which is one of my favorite ent eps #and one of very few where hoshi is in a central role. #it's just so absurd + it has the same overtures of 'alien presence entered my otherwise small and private life without warning' as the song #i just think it fits really well #its not perfect and ill probably still fuck around with it a lot even though im publishing it #but really i only do this bc i like to keep my playlists in my tags for them #which for hoshi is here #hoshi #also love the visitors on here. its just fun. groovy baby!!!!

[whoslaurapalmer]

returning to the computer plot wall bc i figured out (well like 90% of the way) what i needed to of the pre-fic plot that i put on the physical wall and now it's just mapping out the fic beats in relation to the maltese falcon beats which i don't need the wall for (that is what i need a chart for) but........i miss you physical wall :(

#leaving my sticky notes up another day though so i can stand there and point everything out to my brother when he comes over tomorrow #he was here for dinner tonight but he's always a little tired on saturdays so i did not think he was in the mood to Grasp Me Pointing #At Sticky Notes. HOWEVER TOMORROW. he will have to deal with me. :) that is what it means to be a sibling. #especially a sibling who has also read dashiell hammett. in fact he's read MORE hammett than me. #he's a continental op fan. #i made a chart like this for beatrice fic. beatrice fic my beloved. i did deviate from the chart at times but the chart helped. #i kept it in front of my laptop while i wrote the fic and you could tell which parts took the longest bc they had the most doodles. #sometimes i get frustrated at how long a plot takes to work out -- although first of all i should NOT!!!! plotting is HARD!!!!!!!!!!! #PLOTTING IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING GOD #but i also feel like if i'm rewriting a movie it shouldn't be this hard. however i like to really rewrite it. so. #also!!! i reminded myself the other day. you know how long it took me to plan beatrice fic???????? #(after wanting to write it for like a year and a half but i wasn't able to bc i was finishing college??) #like. four fucking months. which is perhaps STILL SHORT in the realm of Plotting. #and i was STILL planning shit out when i was writing it. #fondly remember being flopped on the couch in the dining room (we were moving furniture around and didn't know where to put it.) #in the GLORIOUS MID-MORNING DINING ROOM SUN staring off into space thinking about beatrice fic things. sigh.

[fmhobeus]

so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

#aniya writes ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა #my head would be in my hands #if they weren't already occupied #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso jjk #choso jujutsu kaisen #choso #kamo choso #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #choso smut #choso x you #choso my beloved #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #jjk ^ ~ #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jjk drabbles #jjk x poc!reader #choso kamo x reader