#idk how many others apply

[crow-with-a-pencil]

Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)

#my ârt #crush depth #crush depth spoilers #fnaf #tw blood #tw drowning #idk how many others apply #anyways this is midnight crow coming out of the shadow realm to scream at you #first of all a cs ramble is on the way I'm still recovering from that fic too #im biting you naff im biting you so dang hard #I don't even know much about iron lung besides watching a play through but damn do you make me want to know more #just. where do I even start. the atmosphere is established so well and even though there was such a small space to work with I FELT it #I felt the claustrophobia I felt the walls and the console and the single dim lightbulb as my only solace in this death trap #the THOUGHTS #poor yn had so much time to just get lost in their head and spiral pretty much constantly #the dread. the constant overhanging dread of knowing there's a 99% chance they're not getting out of there alive and at this point #they just want to accept it and let it end bc there's hardly anything to go back to if they live #naff. look at me. reading some parts made my chest actually tighten with dread. it was so well done. #this poor human just buried in existential horror and just wanting it to end in a slightly less painful way #and the unknowable beings trapped outside who absolutely REFUSE to let that happen #god those eldritch fish were trying their hardest but just couldn't get in #yn was trapped inside while they were trapped outside and I just #I am EXPLODING the more I think about it #thinking about when they thought they were drowning and tried to breathe again #wanting to die but still having that instinct to survive #asking to be ripped apart but still cherishing their last breath of air #I'm shaking you I'm shaking you I'm dying on the floor #ough. #I'll never mentally recover from this and I want you to know I genuinely get inspired by your writing #this has been midnight crow ramblings. I just hit the tag limit. have a lovely night.

[buddiesmutslut]

LISTEN. If we get a bisexual!Buck arc, I will ACTUALLY LITERALLY CRY, I’m already emotional just thinking about it, it will literally bring me so much joy

BUT

I don’t want it at the expense of an Eddie coming out arc…

Bc listen, I read a post talking abt how the writers probably won’t give both of them a really flushed out Queer Realization Arc bc it would be redundant, which like, okay sure, yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want to have two main, male characters going through the exact same thing, so sure, whatever, BUT -

I feel like, out of Buddie, Eddie is going to be the one that really struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality.

Eddie, who had to be The Man Of The House at 10 years old. Eddie, who grew up in the Deep South. Eddie, whose family is Catholic. Eddie, who already had a strained relationship with his judgmental parents. Eddie, who had a WIFE. Eddie, who says that what he had with Shannon was magic & compares every relationship he had to her. Eddie, who was in the military, which is infamous for DADT. Eddie, whose aunt constantly pushes him at random women because he needs to not be alone. Eddie, who canonically suffers from comp-het, saying that dating women feels like putting on a performance, not that he understands why. Eddie, who dated Ana & was planning on staying with her, even though he was unhappy, for his son.

I think Buck would be way chiller with realizing he’s queer - if he doesn’t already know, which is my fav head-cannon - & I feel like he wouldn’t struggle as much bc it’s Eddie, & Eddie is his best friend, and gender wouldn’t play as big a part for him as I think it would for Eddie.

I would love for them both to have an arc where they worked through their expectations when it comes to relationships & realize that they’re queer, but idk man, I feel like Eddie is going to be the one to really struggle & he deserves to really have that flushed out.

Idk, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw that post & nobody I know watches 9-1-1 😭

#buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #Queer Buddie Arcs #I want them both to have nice things is that really so unreasonable? #literally all of their other arcs take place at the same time #let them realize they’re queer & in love with each other at the same time too #honestly this only applies if Buddie goes canon which I’m not even convinced is going to happen #i have so many feelings #Buck would just be like “I’m in love with my best friend? fucking dope #bc my darling boy just wants to be loved & chosen & Eddie has already done those things #either way I wish they would stop putting them with random ass women who have been on the show for less than 10 minutes #I don’t need them to go canon in s7 but if we don’t even get a HINT of it this season I’ll probably quit watching #unless s7 is REALLY good bc they put some WEIRD shit in recently that I dfw #I have no idea how Tumblr is supposed to work am I doing this right? idk pls advise

[mishapen-dear]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

#qsmp neg #qsmp crit #discourse #<- for blacklists #im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight #and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense #its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses #so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter #but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy #and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one #and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over #and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear #and it starts getting messy #but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition #and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it #but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun' #then i think there are ways to build better win conditions #anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes #jk im too busy to apply #but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it

[whimsyprinx]

I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!

I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!

friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!

#whimsy whispers #I’m just like ahdjfjjg #I’ve been considering remaking blogs for a few years now (as some of you may know) and like simply changing urls isn’t enough #no matter how many times I chnage urls the paranoia won’t go away and I think that starting a new blog is the best choice #idk what to do if my newest blog gets found by the ppl I’m paranoid about like idk the odds of that are low (I hope) alas I’m still anxious #about it #for some slight context: I’ve had several people now pop up in my life pretending to be other people/several people and while I’ve blocked #then on every social media account I interacted with them in im still paranoid about them lurking #and then like there’s other reasons to remake as well #I’m tired of this blog like I love it it’s been fun but I think starting over will be nice #tbh this is the longest I’ve had a blog without remaking I usually remake accounts every so often #I don’t intend to remake my next blog like at all but like agdhjfjg I have a habit of getting bored of accounts and staring over (usually #this applies to art accounts like y’all wouldn’t believe how many deviantart accounts I’ve had) #uhhhh idk I’ve been rambling for too long #I have this in drafts rn but you should be seeing this post soon

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

these are so fun, so here's moreee

#whump #whumplr #whump community #i learn so much from these lmao #still surprised at the amount of people who strongly prefer whumper-less whump in the other poll #i have no idea how many discord servers the average person is in lol #for merch its like idk an 'i like whump' sticker from redbubble or whatever #hard to come up with options that are specific enough that not everyone will pick multiple #but still having like one option that applies to some people

[countess-of-edessa]

the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.

#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today #not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek #out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview #and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i #believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of #life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave #this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not #I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw #but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate? #and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no #because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account #im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in #when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview #(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that) #(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?) #(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)

[deficiencies]

i think buffy is different than other female superheroes before and contemporary to her bc her femininity is something she works at rather than smth thts a given

#like yes her interests align w what is considered traditionally feminine but its something she expresses an interest in and actively wants #like yk tht one post on here abt how survival situation women w a full face of makeupwld be less insulting if we saw them hunt for lipstick #talk #like buffy is obvs a character. but her depiction feels more realistic bc her fashion sense isnt an afterthought its a passion #i think it might also be bc in btvs its something tht specifically applies to buffy and not the other female characters #her and cordelia are the only ones who care abt being girly rly…and cordy is just buffys shadow so. Idk ! #this post is sponsored by s1e3 s1e11 2e1 s2e3 s2e10 s2e12 s3e5 s3e20 s5e1 s5e5 s6e7 and many more #i just like tht its shown she actively puts thought into her appearance rather than it seeming like she is just Naturally tht put together.. #i dont know if this makes any sense. this might be coming off as a Let women be feminine! post but Tht is not what i am talking abt

[soldier-poet-king]

Not to be like for all it's faults perks of being a wallflower really fuckin went off with 'we accept the love we think we deserve' but I've been thinking about that, and fundamental beliefs about the self, the awful things you know about yourself at your core, the fear of being found out, the unending hunger so familiar that most days you can pretend you're full on scraps and wouldn't know how to eat if given the chance anyway, the idea of comfort, the even more nebulous idea of 'deserve' and it's just. Yeah. Maybe so

#the duality of fran #im. hm. hm. its real bad folks #i should uh. idk. find a therapist i guess #idk what they can do tho. cant change the fundamental nature of my being. #or the beliefs abt myself ingrained since childhood #the transactional nature of worth and value and usefullness. when applied to me. #the not knowing how to be anything other than it #the hunger the hunger the hunger #the vertiginous future. #im so goddamn tired #i am putting off making some important phone calls for work #bc im afraid i wont be able to get sentences out without half crying rn #ive been begging for ages to have a good cry. been too idk. blunted to crying specifically #so many emotions but no catharsis #and now that im primed to cry. its at WORK

[tea-cat-arts]

(Image found on Haresbeloved's page over on Instagram)

WE WERE ROBBED!!! It's not perfect, and it still has some "limited range of color values" issues, but with a couple more revisions I think the one on the bottom right really could've turned into something special

#honkai impact #honkai hare #I'm noticing a trend with honkai that idk how to describe other than “elysiaction” #Where they take they take what was appealing about Elysia in ER and apply it to characters but remove the nuance #Like they take her energic charm and charismatic mask and then they forget that there actually needs to be something behind the mask #Idk if that makes sense #Bottom right Hare looks like she would've been a much more stoic character and I think that would've been a nice change of pace #I think the reason I'm so annoyed with Hare's current direction in both writing and design is because I think she had such strong potential #There's so many character interactions they could've made and didn't #You could've explored Seigfried and Theresa's reactions to seeing their lost loved one coming back from the dead and not knowing them #Or Durandal and Hare bonding over knowing who they used to be while knowing they can't really be the same person anymore #Or if you really want to keep the back story with Bronya's mom #Hare could've just switched sides because Project Stigma threaded the life of her loved one's child #They also could've used Hare as a demonstration of what Project Stigma actually does #But nah- they decided to take the most interesting parts of Senti and Elysia and mash them together without the context and intrigue #Making her boring

[moe-broey]

A closer look at my young Askr siblings designs! Sharena's kind of constantly fluctuates, but I've always had a really clear vision for an early teen Alfonse.

#fire emblem #feh #tags on prev post (above post? other post.) apply here LMFAOO #outfits are kind of vague/unimportant (though i did ref young marth for alfonse) #i think what i want to capture most is like. esppp where sharena and peony split off when they reach a certain age #like idk how many other designs i've posted i feel like maybe one. but other designs for her #include twintails (ofc) and sort of a gradual process. where it ultimately ends up the way it does in canon #again my ideas for alfonse are v straightforward. going from high restriction -> #to some control over his appearance (although he is met w disapproval for it) -> to finding something he likes (as we see him now) #(secret other step -- mental breakdown and worst haircut you've ever seen by his own hand approximately 3months before summoner shows up) #i just think. these sorts of things are what make us human. #which is why one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when younger designs for charas look IDENTICAL to their adult versions just smaller #LIKE. EVEN BEYOND BEING TRANSGENDER. SHOW ME A PERMANENT STATE OF BEING ASSHOLE‼️‼️‼️‼️ #people cut their hair and grow it out and dye it and sometimes tastes in aesthetics change. ect. #i will be here ALL day if i allow myself to get into this I NEED TO LEAVE I WANT TO LEAVE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #fe alfonse #sharena #my art

[sonknuxadow]

i am so tired of fandoms who cant take their shipping goggles off for five seconds i am so tired of people trying to make everything about romance when its not i am so tired of people being so desperate to find a ship for every single character even if there are no reasonable options for them i am so tired of characters being written like completely different people for the sake of a ship i am so tired of people acting like the only meaningful relationships characters can have with eachother are romantic ones i am so tired of people only seeing certain characters as half of their ship and not caring about them in any other context Sorry for being a hater but i have had enough

#im mostly complaining about sonic fans here but im sure this applies to many other things too #and im not saying shipping is bad i have my ships i like too i joke about sonic and knuckles being gay all the time but like #why is that so many peoples main priority #especially with franchises like sonic that are not about romance at all #idk i just dont get how people can only care about the shipping side of things when theres so many other things to explore #like friendships and the worldbuilding and all that #hell shipping brainrot gets so bad with sonic fans that people take relationships that are clearly meant to be familial #and try to make it into a romance thing i Hate it here

[bangcakes]

.

#the more it sinks in... the more surreal it feels. like HDJDJDJDJDJDJ #the Way i doubted whether he wanted to keep in touch with me when literally..... said he would... how he always answers me... #messages me when he has news kr something to say..... hangs out with people he doesnt like just to have like.. moments with me.... #i really cant handle it OYXKYDKYTKDDO #its so fuckin weird. like even if we end up just friends... the experience has been so wild..... #like lmao this time last year we had had like. 1 conversation JDJDJDJXJZJZ #literally sat a seat away from each other an entire semester and dint talk til the last day. oh its so funny #god i cant believe we're friends.... #i havent talked to him since i saw him last week at that dinner.. i cant really think of anything to say BDDNDDNNDND #been focusing on job applications #i handed a second one in yesterday and started a third today. hoping to have it done tomorrow but... its not due until feb so... i have som #time to perfect it :)))) #i really hate this stuff. like god it takes so much out of me..... #i'll probs update him on how many ive applied to idk. trying not to overthink HDJDJDJDJDJJ #im not really the type to message unnecessarily and neither is he so hhhhhh lmao #itll be fine.... #personal #have i mentioned hes my favourite :p

[e77y]

Trying to fix my resume ☝️🤓 Small problem: I sound like a loser no matter what

#not really lol. I have a lot of experience in this field #for someone my age anyway #but like. idk 😭 I wanna get out of journalism I HATE journalism #I’m applying for publishing internships and idk I just wish I had more publishing experience…. #a lot of my extracurriculars are music related and idk if I should include them or not #just to fill space ig #bc I have only ever had one singular job #and one other piece of experience as editor in chief #idk maybe I just feel this way bc I’m using Harvard resume templates #and so I’m seeing everything that’s on a Harvard student’s resume 😭 like damn. I hope they’re not applying for this internship.. #it’s based in NYC so I doubt I’ll get it? but like? idk how many applicants they get??? hm #there are also lots of different internships with the same company all listed rn so idk #I have until the end of the month to fix this shit hehahah #hopefully my cover letter will better demonstrate my relevance to this position #bc all of my journalism experience feels kinda irrelevant on paper. editing news is VERY different from editing communications research lol #ellyposting #🤓posting #<- kinda. it’s about work not school but I did start doing this (researching internships) for a class #and now I’m kinda invested bc I need an internship in the next year anyway… I could get it over with over the summer #idk. if I get a job this summer I will make a job tag like. jobposting. workposting. perhaps hellposting if it sucks really bad (again 🥲) #that’s why I’m scared of another internship. even though the last one was paid and so is this one… people are straight up abusive to interns #😅😅😅😅😅 AUGH. SCREAMS PUNCHES WALL etc #okay goodnight :3c

[libbys-braincell-loss]

If you are an upcoming social media influencer/streamer/YouTuber/etc, or if you are already one of these, ask yourself these questions:

Have I groomed any minors at some point in my life? (Not "have i groomed anyone recently", its "have i groomed anybody at all in my life")

Have I abused anybody? (Exes, family members, etc)

Have I hurt anybody, physically or mentally, intentionally? (Be honest)

Have I done anything that can hurt any sort of social group, or said anything that is politically offensive?

Have I done anything downright unmoral and illegal?

If you answered yes to one or more of these, you are not suited to be an influencer because someone out there has incriminating evidence that you're a horrible person and that can destroy your career if they talk about it, and it prevent you from getting another job because now hundreds of thousands of people know what you did

If you did something horrible and you aren't an influencer, you dont have to worry about thousands of people knowing what you did and hating you for it (unless you do something so bad you make it onto national news). Its just an issue concerned by the small amount of people involved in the vicinity.

If you are an influencer and do something bad, people will find out, and then your career is done, and you aint getting another one. Everyone will know what you did.

Moral of the story, whether you're an influencer or not, dont be a horrible person, but if you are an influencer, make sure you havent done anything that could make you universally hated. Think about what you say and do. Dont be an asshole.

#this was prompted by wilbur soot btw but this applies for literally anybody #i can think of so many others who could be under this category #amoraltra dream boyinaband etc #(sorry if these names trigger you im not directly tagging them) #idk how to tag this #txt #txt post #controversy #stupid bullshit

[spoutlore]

#hyperspecific poll #all of these apply to me #i fully expect the first one to have no votes #this is for fun though so i don't expect the poll to get many votes at all #maybe i took hyperspecific too literally idk how many of these would apply to anyone other than myself #idk i had fun writing these and then shortening them to get them to fit in the poll format

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents. #and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever. #and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess. #also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk