#i've literally been crying all day i have no idea how im going to make it through this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 11 months

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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

#i hope you are okay #i wish i could help more #i hope the pain eases soon #and i hope that you stay #ps . to those of you reading this thinking i should help you too: please just dm me #it makes me really #really really scared when it's anonymous #bc i cant check in with u #i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles #this is an exception bc they are 16 #not the rule #ps if u misunderstand ''being a teenager is the hardest thing i ever did'' when i mention briefly that i was in unsafe housing...#trust me. it was worse there. by like A HUGE margin #every person raised in unsafe housing nodding their head like . oh yeah worse stuff TECHNICALLY happened after but leaving that home was #legit the hardest thing i ever did

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for slapping my mother in law?

I (27F) am married to my husband Jay (26M) and we recently had our first child Lily.

Well the pregnancy was a very very difficult one. I was throwing up every day for over six months, suffered long bouts of insomnia, developed gestational diabetes, standing up too fast made me incredibly dizzy, my entire body just constantly hurt, Lily kicked me so hard I legit had tears in my eyes (which combined with full body pain was...not pleasant) and to top it all off Lily weighed ELEVEN pounds and I tore really really badly.

Yeah...ow.

I love my daughter to death but never again. Ever.

Anyways after that literal hell of a pregnancy, I've been more or less bedbound for several weeks now while healing from that entire ordeal. Which means Jay has been taking care of pretty much everything, keeping the house clean, making food, taking care of me and Lily, etc. Its a lot I know and I wish I could do more to help but Jay has been insisting that I rest and recover and that he's got this. He's been handling everything like an absolute champ. Honestly if I didnt have him I dont know how I would be doing anything.

Well this morning Jay's parents came to visit and meet their granddaughter. So I was moved to the living room so I could introduce them to Lily and socialize a bit while Jay cooked lunch.

Now Jay's parents are very traditional. They believe that men make the money and that its the woman's job to take care of the house, the cooking, and the children.

You can probably see where this is going.

I introduce Mother in law to Lily and we get to talking. (Father in law went outside to go smoke)

Thats when mother in law asks why Jay is cooking. More importantly why Im NOT cooking. I tell her I physically cant even stand UP without help so how am I supposed to cook.

She only scoffed saying that I was just making excuses. I am very used to her bullshit by now so I just roll my eyes.

Then Lily started crying because she needed a diaper change. Mother in law tells me to go change her diaper. Again I cant even stand up by myself, much less get up to change a diaper.

I call Jay and he happily comes to get our daughter. Mother in law starts yelling, telling Jay no that I should do it because its my job. She grabs Lily and shoves her back into my arms and tells me to get up and go do it.

Jay, my wonderful angel, tried to tell her that I physically couldnt move for weeks and to mind her own damn business.

She then started yelling even more saying that I was making my husband do my job for me, calling me lazy and a slut (What that has anything to do with this? I have no idea) she went off on a complete tangent about how it was a woman's job to take care of the home and the children, that SHE managed just fine and she had five small children, that I was completely emasculating Jay, that I was a disgrace, etc.

She just kept going and going while not letting me and Jay even get a word in. Until eventually she said that my daughter will probably grow up to be a whore like I am.

I think it was a mix of pure exhaustion and hormones because somehow I managed to stand up for a moment and slap her across the face before immediately falling back on the couch.

Jay looked shocked, Mother in law looked livid. (Father in law was just watching from the doorway, equally as shocked.)

Mother in law started full on screaming, calling me every single name in the book until father in law physically dragged her out of the house by her arm.

Now hours later my phone has been blowing up with messages from my brothers and sister in laws, telling me that I was an asshole and that I had no excuse for hitting their mother.

Hell even my friends think I was in the wrong for hitting her (completely ignoring how she was yelling, calling me horrible names, in front of a newborn baby no less.)

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bubbiegumprincess · 2 months

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Hi hi!!! Heard you were looking for requests, I might just have one for ya love 😼

If you still write for adventure time, maybe adult Finn and a reader who is also an adventurer, and they run into each other for the first time in years? Just fluff or whatever you want :]

Tysm if you do this!!!! You are amazing!! <333

this is such a cute idea I CANTTTT AAAAAAA I'm literally in love with adventure time me and my closest friend (we're probably gonna date) are literally marceline and bonnie it's so cute ANYWAYS!!! Sorry for the rant and il your work too you're literally so talented like omfg (if you get the title reference ily)

no warnings ; just fluff and VERY little romance, if any at all

TOGETHER AGAIN

You groggy rub your eyelids, letting out a groan. You sit up from your bed and throw your blanket off, pulling open the blinds to let sunlight in. 10 : 30 am. You pull a nice outfit on and leave the house. After a short drive, you arrive at a local farmers market and take hold of a green basket.

As you mindlessly swander around the premises, you see a big stand with fresh strawberries in heaps underneath and pick some up.

A smile spreads across the saleswoman face as you hand her a bill, nod, and walk off. It was an absurdly warm day, and your palms were sweaty. The basket slipped out of your grip within the snap of a finger. It was hard to catch.

"Oh, sorry, let me help with that." A voice says before crouching down. You had taken note of large shoulder pads and an open shirt. "AH, thank you, sorry about th-" "Do I recognize you?" you're cut off. both of your eyebrows furrow and then a light bulb goes off in your mind.

"Finn!" You exclaim with a grin. "It's you!" You throw your arms around eachother. "Oh my gosh, how have you been I just- wow!!" You say, feeling your tearline threaten spillage.

"I've been good myself, not much of an adventurer anymore, how about you, how are you!!" He says, letting you go and resting his hands on your shoulders.

"God, busy, I've been- busy." You stifle a small laugh through a sniff because you know you'll cry more if you don't.

"Hey, that's totally cool. I've missed you so much." He hugs you again. "Wanna come to my place? It could be great to catch up with you for a bit, I think."

You nod and smile before wiping away your tears, leaving your cardigan with small wet spots along with sleeves.

Once you make it back to Finn's abode, you sit on the couch and he hands you a cup of hot chocolate. You notice something. "Hey, didn't we find this mug when we were in the Clay Kingdom? They gave it to us when we beat that massive dragon guy." He nods, chuckling a bit.

"Good memories, huh?" You nod.

"I missed you too, Finn."

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

UH UH TYSM FOR TYE REQUEST IM SO SORRY IT WAS SHORT!! KEEP UP YOUR AMAZING WORK, I HOPE WE CAN TALK A BIT SINCE YOURE SO SO TALENTED AND ID LOVE SOME TIPS AND TRICKS FOR WRITING OKAY!!! THANK YOU, AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY/NIGHT <33

#adventure time #finn the human #finn x reader #writing #Send requests #this was so fun to write #uhhhhhhhjggghgggghg

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kagejima · 2 years

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Royalty!au where Sukuna is the grumpy knight who is begrudgingly assigned to the sunshine royal reader. Over time, Sukuna’s tough personality starts to chip away, and everyone laughs at how even he, the scariest of warriors, can turn soft when spending time with you. Despite all of this, he knows that nothing more can happen with you and yet he doesn't understand the ache in his chest every time a suitor comes to call on you (or why he has the sudden need to train harder when you're hosting these suitors). On the night of your masquerade birthday ball, he dresses up like a prince for the evening (some even mistake him for a king), hoping to spend one night with you, as your equal.

I've been in a very fluffy fairytale mood, just ask @mrskodzuken. Honestly, this could apply to any of our favourite boys of the week (personally, I can see this being Toshi). The idea started off as a Sukuna one so I thought it only fair he gets it, even if it's a little OOC.

WENDY STOP IT, IM GONNA CRY

i've never written literally ANYTHING royalty!au before and im nervous so bear with me everybody fhdjfaksdl

more thoughts under the cut (female reader)

also this sukuna is BIG hehehe. True form Sukuna big, im not apologizing for anything!!!!! i love true form sukuna with all my lil goblin soul!!

Bodyguard!Sukuna who wants to fight. He wants to be sent away for his wars, he wants to travel, he wants to serve his country.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who grew up poor and the only way he can provide for his elderly parents is to serve under the crown and give them the small stipend he earns in return. And if he serves as an actual knight, he will receive more. He hates to part from his parents for a large amount of time, but he needs the money to take care of them.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who is crestfallen when he's told he has to stay where he's at and protect you, the princess.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who towers over you, who could crush you if he really wanted to, who sees the fear in your eyes as he introduces himself to you very bluntly saying that he's now responsible for your safety.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who stands guard at your room at all times - who only lets your ladies-in-waiting in or your father or mother and no one else into your room.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who is awkward at the very best as he tries to make you feel more comfortable around him and not so afraid of him as the weeks go on.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who greets you each morning when you emerge from your room ready to begin your royal duties, finding it hard to hold himself together as you're adorned with the finest dresses and jewelry in the kingdom.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who almost drops his guard and almost falls asleep while on duty outside your room in the middle of the night, but your door is obscenely loud and creaky no matter how gently you move it.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who asks you where you're going after you shut the door and are starting to tip-toe away.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who finds it adorable as you stutter out the excuse that you're hungry and you can't fall asleep until you've eaten something.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who accompanies you down to the kitchen and fixes you a small plate of bread and cheese and grapes, since the rest of the kitchen staff is asleep for the night.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who's heart breaks as you tell him there in the dim candle-lit kitchen that you're nervous about the suitor that is coming tomorrow. He knew this was coming - your parents had been preparing for their arrival days ago, but this is the first time you're talking about it.

You're scared.

You're scared because you know you'll have to marry someone eventually, and you're worried it will be to someone that you don't even get along with, but you'll have to do it since it's your duty.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who stands by your side in the courtyard when the suitor arrives in a much too grandiose way. He knows just by taking one look at the suitor that it won't be a good match and that you need to stay far away from him.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who stands there behind you in the dining hall on that first night, watching the suitor flirt with you, watching the suitor try to touch you, and he wants to break the man's neck.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who has found a friend and a confidant in skilled swordsman Nanami, the man who trains him and helps him grow stronger. Nanami senses the change in Sukuna these days. He's not as serious as he once was - he's so much softer, so much kinder.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who huffs in disgust during a break when Nanami asks him what he thinks of your new suitor.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who hates standing outside your room on the night that the suitor stays with you. He's thankful that he doesn't hear ... pleasure noises.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who is still awake in the morning as the suitor leaves your room.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who has to make his hands into fists and keep them where they are as the suitor taunts him, saying he'll always be a guard dog to you and nothing more. It won't end well for you and it won't end well for him if he retaliates.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who knows that there's a grand masquerade ball to be held the second to last night before the suitor and his family are to leave. The masquerade ball to celebrate your birthday.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who doesn't think it would be appropriate for him to dress up for the ball - he's not there to attend, he's there to serve you and protect you, he reminds you - but it's always been hard to tell you no with the way you pout at him.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who is able to throw together a somewhat presentable costume with the help of swordsman Nanami.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who waits for you outside your room, just like he always has, waiting for your ladies-in-waiting to complete the finishing touches to your custom gown that took months to put together.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who's breath is stolen away when you finally emerge.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who's arm is moving out before his brain can catch up with him, asking you if you're ready and that he will help you down to the ball.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who allows himself the daydream of being your lover as you hold on to his much larger arm as you make your way from your room to where the ball is being held.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who's daydream is crushed as soon as you enter the hall, remembering that he won't ever fit in with everyone here. He isn't royalty, he's only a poor farmer's son. He won't ever be your equal.

Bodyguard!Sukuna who expects you to spend the night with the suitor, and is just as surprised and shocked as the suitor himself when you decline him for dances and his company.

And Bodyguard!Sukuna who feels his heart is ready to burst when after the suitor is gone, you look up at him and tell him that he's the only one you want to spend the rest of the night with.

#🎶: here comes the queue #sukuna fluff #sukuna #👑: rae's sukuna sundays #rae's sukuna sunday july 31 2022 #FHADFHAJDKSFHASDKJFAS IM S O B B I N G #also i hope this was a good royalty thing i really tried you guys :(#⚔️: bodyguard!sukuna #🥰: bodyguard sukuna

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whispereons · 3 months

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You don't understand how much your sagau save me. Like, I've been in burn out for so long that I forget when was the last time I was giggling so hard and need to stay silent to not wake anyone in my family. I'm literally punching the walls right now. I know that started reading AU at 11pm sounds like a bad idea, but do I care?? Of course not. Your writing is a miracle and I will eat this whole feast and sleep like a toddler the moment I finished reading all your works.

On the other hand, I'm feeling rather sad because I found your account just now, like, how the hell I've been missing out so much?? And have I talked about the effort you put into your works?? I can't stop reading it again and again because of how interesting it is, and everytime the chapter reach the end, it always managed to make me hooked and make me eager to read the next chapter. I like how you write the characters, the narration, and how it's not even once make me feel bored (which is rare), your choice of words, literally how you managed to keep the story going without putting to much words or unnecessary actions that can make reader lose its spark when they read.

Im literally writing this while having headache and started to hear some damn hallucinations by how sleep deprived am I but your writing, oh my god, I know I sound exaggerating but if Shakespeare managed to reincarnated into this world, you would put him in so much shame that he will crawl back to his grave.

Btw I forget what I'm supposed to write. Oh yeah your sagau is so delicious and I can't wait to finished them ASAP. Please take care of your health, your writing is so good that it's make me hungry for more (please don't feel pressured about this, I swear I'm normal about your works and will wait no matter how long you finished it), and have a nice day and may your dream is filled with warmth every night.

I finally get to answer this one! I originally read the first half in class while I was on break and BRO I WAS ABOUT TO CRY

Like everything you're saying that you love about my writing was bombarding me. It's such a nice feeling thank you so much! That comparison to Shakespeare was wild, pretty sure writing was his day job while I took like 2 English classes in my whole college course.

I really hope you slept Anon, headaches and hallucinations are crazy. Again thank you!!! I hope you liked the new chapter <3

#a whispered response #Shakespeare anon #Sorry thats your title now

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enderspawn · 2 years

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theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me.

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.)

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so.

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them.

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties.

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry.

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway.

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #riptide #chip #ive sat on this for So long please acknowledge me JFKDLSJFKL #also i know i said i want to write it and i. still do!#but like. idk man. if anyone else gets inspired from this you can at least Ask if you can and you might get a yes. it depends fjdskflj #fanfic #(jeb bush voice) please clap #the. the fuckin acts of service post from hours ago caused this to ricochet back into my brain #and i want it Out please i need to read about contract law rn sir plea--#anyway. ''heres a fic idea i have'' my brother in christ the post is 1.7k #jrwi spoilers

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emmyfairy · 11 months

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you could write some head-cannons about giving the slashers the silent treatment for Bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Billy & Stu, Vincent Sinclair

Thank you!!!

Requested

Hi I’m Em and I am in love with Vincent Sinclair (i’m imagining all ya’ll saying ‘hi em’)

reblog if you enjoy! any other ideas?

Uh oh, big boys are in the dog house. What are they like when their lovely gives them the silent treatment?

Bubba

As soon as you skip your usual “Good Morning” he’s in tears

Once you step out of the bathroom, fresh faced and ready for a day of ignoring your man, he’s in your personal space, whining and crying, a fistful of wildflowers gripped tightly in his hand, roots still shaking dirt onto the floor

You'd have to clean that up so….

Honestly, just take the flowers and forgive him sweetie, he’s just gonna cry and whinge until you do, and no he won't admit he did anything wrong because he doesn't care

Not in a bad way, but your anger is too distracting for him to remember properly

Thomas

Notices right away

Is worried right away

He’s so used to and in love with your babbling, nodding his head along with you, so when it’s sudden radio silence, when all of a sudden you won't even look at him? Instant heartbreak

Did he do something? Say something? Did someone else? Don’t you love him anymore?

It hasn't even been an entire day and you have this 6’5 hulking giant of a man literally at your feet

Im serious, after a few hours he can't stand it, bails on his chores, finds you and immediately drops to his knees, hugging your legs and burying his face in your tummy

He only peels himself away when he feels your hand start running through his hair (i've decided no one can stay mad at him he’s too soft)

After you coax him off of his knees the two of you have an open conversation and communicate your feelings in a healthy way, solving all the problems and boom sunshine and rainbows baby

Billy & Stu

We all know these two share a brain cell, and once ya’ll are together its split amongst you three

They do NOT catch onto your mood for a whileee

Honestly it’s probably one of your friends, or even your mom, that clues them in

They’re used to you being a bit on the quiet side, heaven knows the pair can entertain each other for hours with dumb boy stuff, and they spend their nights, well, ya’know…

When they do realize your unhappiness and silence these boys go the wallet route

Im talking flowers, chocolate, nice dinner, shoes, that outfit you were eyeing at the mall last week, and more flowers

You do eventually forgive them, but they honestly aren't much wiser afterwards

Vincent

Ngl he doesn't notice at first, not in a bad way, it’s just he gets so invested in his art

There are many nights he stays in his workshop, meddling away at his latest project, often skipping meals unless you bring them to him

I love this man okay, but baby can be a little bit of an airhead at times

Bo and Lester have both noticed by now and let’s just say dinner time is Awkward✨

By now Vinny is catching onto your cold shoulder

Good thing he wears that mask because if you could see the pout on his lil face? All anger would be gone with the wind

Vince doesn’t really know what to do, his brothers sure as hell aren't helpful, so he does the only thing he can think of

Art, art and groveling

He sketches a portrait of you, far too well done to be a quick one, and it almost encaptures how gorgeous he thinks you are

Once the sketch is in your hands, he’s slipping into bed with you, not bothering to move the covers, just smooshing against you, every inch of him on every inch of you, holding you close

When you look down to where he is parasitically attached to your chest, his eye is shining so sadly, there is no way you could stay mad at him

He’s just too cute, sorry I don't make the rules

#my wriitng #slasher drabble #slasher fanfiction #thomas hewitt drabble #bubba sawyer drabble #vincent sinclair drabble #billy loomis drabble #stu macher drabble #thanks for the request!

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crepuscularqueens · 6 months

Text

tysm for the tag @sambambucky <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

193,604

3. What fandoms do you write for?

marvel (mostly sambucky but i've played around with other pairings), the magicians (penntin, queliot, wickoff), ofmd, and one black sails fic (despite that being my main fandom i guess lmao, it's so hard to write for because i can't make it better. i just have to make it worse. and boy do i have plans to make it Worse.) (also i do have an rnm fic, almost forgot about that! i would love to write more i just need the inspiration and motivation to hit at the same time lmao)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

he kisses me softly to wake me up (by a wild amount, which i think was just luck of timing with that fandom blowing up overnight) flowers for the gentleman (first published sambucky fic. looking back on it it's like... cute but could be better. natasha is in it though) held by you (felled by you) (my fav of the ofmd fics i put up, personally) what you wanted (first of my tfatws series that accompanied the show. literally wrote each fic as the episodes came out, it was so fun and idk how tf i kept up with it) hear my name in your mouth and i'm done for (hahaha. yeah.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i love responding to comments hehehe! bc i love getting responses when i comment on other author's fics idk it just feels so fun! and when you notice the same people commenting on your fics idk it's just. holding hands with all of you love you sm <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

omg uhhhh jinx i think mine also be a samsteve one lol. stuck in the bed where we lie bc i love writing angst but i usually resolve it? but they're my favorite tragedy forever.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm i guess after it all calms down? resolution of my tfatws series

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not on anything that's still up teehee <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

it's mainly what i write haha oops

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

crossover is when there are characters from two separate medias in one fic right? not like taking characters from one universe and putting them in the other? if it's the first then... no not anymore. no further questions.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of (i'm not like... overly concerned by the idea)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone once translated a teen wolf fic i wrote into russain

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i am open to the idea of collaborating like that (i've done events where i drew art to accompany a fic which was really fun and i miss that event a lot)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i am so so bad at picking favorites, but if you want to go by what i have the most fics and wips for it would be sambucky

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i want to finish shores begging for big moons so badly im so sorry to everyone because. it was so so fun to write! and i had this big grand plan and knew how it would all work out and then.... i hit a wall and now it's been years and i cry for her every day. i could save her! i could do it! but i also need to reread it bc i can't remember the details anymore lmao. it's a daunting task.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think like... rhythm if that makes sense? like i get into a groove of this is what is happening, here are the beats, this is the action and this is the dialogue and it flows so nicely and has a good rhythm to it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

focusing. i get distracted soooo easily, what is that all about haha. ha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love seeing it in fic! i'm always scared to include it bc i don't want to mess anything up, so i usually have it from another character's POV and that they don't know what's being said. which is a cop out, i know. i should probably be better about looking into translations!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

harry potter (i know. there is no need to talk about it)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

how do i choose! tbh it's a tie between i bit the fruit and holy water. don't read into that.

absolute no pressure tags for @dr-lizortecho @unwholesome-gay @verdanthoney @nymhciv !

#mine #thank you again for the tag jo :)

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melziss · 1 year

Text

Literally, nobody asked for my opinion on the second chase sequence in scream VI, but let me give it nonetheless.

The thing is, I get really attached to characters, truly.

I'm not over wes' and liv's deaths at all , definitely not over tatum's, and I cry at least twice a day because of anika.

But I understand the fact that if everybody lives, the whole point of the movie goes to shit. scream is a slasher franchise, and that's what makes it, it!

But mindy is my girlie, and therefore, I wanted her happiness, so Im constantly thinking of the mistakes that were made that fatidic night.

so let me argue that anika could 100% have lived.

here are the issues that I have:

#1 - Mindy's cut on her arm.

See, I've never been stabbed (thank whomever), but as previously seem in the other scream movies that cut wasn't that bad , mindy was literally acting like she lost a limb. And the following morning(?) as they go to the shrine, she's carrying her bag on the side that she was hurt (my friend and I noticed that while watching in the theathers and got so confused), so it couldn't have been that bad. Which takes me to issue number:

#2 - The bedroom scene.

Okay, so much whent wrong here, but let's start with the fact that sweet baby anika has been mauled. The poor kid was gutted for no reason at all and is in the worst shape of the three. That's why I don't understand the ladder sequence. Sam is 100% fine (physically) and is the strongest of them in there. So after she helped mindy to (badly) block the door and set the ladder with danny, she should have shipped Anika off to the other side. I really didn't see a single reason why Sam crossed first (other than the usual : "can't leave tara").

So let's talk about how that should've gone.

Sam should've told anika to go first, taking Mindy's place blocking ghostface from entering the room (as she is the strongest) and telling mindy to hold the ladder. Anika crossed slower than everyone because of her wounded stomach, but she was doing fine until everybody got desperate because gf showed up, and she got desperate as well, plus the whole shaking the ladder. So with mindy holding the ladder and danny calming her, she would've crossed that bitch in record time. which would prompt mindy to cross next because she is the more injured of the two of them remaining in that room and Sam to leave the door and hold the ladder. Mindy crossed pretty quickly, and now is Sam's turn. Ghostface hasn't gotten through the block yet, and Sam is halfway through crossing, and when gf finally breaks the block and sees that our dear sammy is the one in there, they would simply not try and make her fall.

Why? You may ask. because the kirsch family can't have act three happen without Sam. She is the star of their fucked up little vengeance plot and there's no villain for their story if she dies.

so anika could've lived.

but then you can just make the point that sam was desperate to live for tara and that she had no idea that she was needed in the kirsch family plot , and I can't argue with that

but imma bitch abt it anyways.

#why did I even write this #nobody asked #scream #anika kayoko #im a little bitch #I'll fight for anika for as long as i need to #I apologize for the essay #also #someone should stop devyn from making those ladder jokes #they wound me #scream 6 #fml

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laughingtale · 6 months

Text

BIG spoilers for chapter 1096 + long ass ramblings over it <3

there is so much i want to yell ab this chapter but my brain is melted but POINTS...

when a guy is SO not normal about someone,,,,, me taking notes like Oh he's even More insane ab roger i c i c. I fucking love everything about this he is So so normal about roger but also making me think ab Kong (and sengoku n tsuru) using roger to get garp to do things.... The motivator ever.... "do your laundry", "no" "Roger said he'd come over if you did", "i've done it all--" i love this fr he is so not normal

also twirls hair hiii bogard, but also the marines being fanboys over garp <3 <3 <3 me when we get to see a little bit of the world,,,, he literally could not care less he just wants to throw hands with rogers and ARGH. slams fist on floor, i want to know more ab their early days,,,, i want to know what roger did that made garp so insane ab him unless its because He's like that.....

BUT ALSO GOD NO THEIR DESIGNS... THEIR FREAKING DESIGNS....

head in fucking HANDS they both look so much like older luffy and ace im slams fist on the floor yelling DAMMIT. wailing sobbing crying etc. i need more of them Now

but also god??? on god??? "felt this past year", im assuming it has to do with how he found lodestar island?? still insane to me that this man went "i've found the last island no ones been to in centuries" and did it again because he could but like RAT SHAKES, what HAPPENED,,,, why even Is roger here like? i Really don't think he cares about devil fruits and it sounds personal, "hold it rocks" is he there bc of rocks?? like?? hello????

BUT ALSO LIKE.... SCRAP OF ROGER PIRATES CONTENT,,, WHAT IF I YELL,,, I neeeeed to know more ab Gaban Now, i need to know mroe about all of them actually </3 wano flashback and this aren't enough i need a spinoff and 19320932 more chapters actually acutally i need all of the old gen Now and this has only convinced me further of it but also teehee,,,, shiki real,,,, its so good to see him and also hello???? gloriosa??? was not expecting that in the slightest but on god its so right???? just in general the rocks though??? this is so so cool??? yelling?? also twirls hair kaido's "looks like roger's on his way as well. he's the one person i--" no one is normal about roger on this island and i love to see it <3 <3 <3

JUST!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!! SLAMS fist on Floor. You give us them all freaking?? running here??? and then looks away??? like. don't get me wrong i absolutely Love Kuma's story, i love how much lore we're getting for him and its so so good and adds so much extra depth esp to iva's reactions during marineford arc but GOD. RATS SHAKES. I need to see more,,, "in the end we still have no idea what the heck really happened on that island" YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME

arghhhhhh

ARGH. No xebec reveal and no full god valley reveal but GOD. TANTALIZING.

<- they weren't lying when they said they were going to be so so normal over this

#OOC.#one piece spoilers #op spoilers #1096 #[ if anyone wants to listen to me yell ab it feel free to dm thumbs up <- normal

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whumpitisthen · 7 months

Note

here's a quick rundown on astarion: gay vampire spawn (not a vampire. like a demo version vampire. a "lesser" one but don't let him hear that) who has been kept for 200 years by his master as a slave. guy (who was an actual vampire) carved him up, tortured him and forced him to lure victims into his manor. astarion has been abused in so many ways i'd hit some sort of character limit if i listed half of them. he was only allowed to feet on rats and small vermin in the sewers. poor little meow meow astarion is now free due to [game story] reasons and seeks power and revenge -- he's an edgy fuck with a lot of swag and no moral compass. bro is a menace and loves causing problems on purpose. [slight spoiler] he will literally try to suck some of your blood like a day or two after you meet him and unless you succeed a skill check he'll just keep doing it until you die. if you resurrect yourself afterwards he'll go like "ooooh ooopsie sowwy! i wouldn't kill you if i knew you'll be back teehee can we forget about this? ;) <3 don't fucking kill me". he's such a good fucking whumpee you don't even know. it's insane. i don't want to ramble but he's almost everything i've ever wanted from a character like this in a large scale rpg. [slightly bigger spoiler] despite being the go-to "fuckable" character who everyone finds hot as hell (both in-universe and online) he's HORRIBLY traumatized by his sexual experiences from when he used to be a slave and when you romance him a good portion of his storyline revolves around trying to make him realize that he's more than just a slab of very attractive meat. he hides his feelings behind a facade of "evil tumblr sexyman-esque" mannierisms and getting to finally peel it back and see him for the poor wet cat that he is is so fucking satisfying. [an even bigger spoiler] i loved watching him cry when he finally gets to confront his former master. pristine content. there's so much more to his character (and this game in general) but if you ever need to justify spending full price on a new videogame release, there's nothing better than bg3. if i could choose one game to beam directly into the brain of each whumpblr user, it'd be this one.

Okay so i already loved him from the very little information i had about him, but this is so delicious

I saw some pics of bad scars which are always hhh and heard that he is a whumpee but i didn't know the extent and now i think ive collected a new blorbo

You are telling me he meets his old master at some point...... and he cries..... and hes all sad....... he rly was made for tumblr but especially me youre telling me he has white hair and is a vampire twink who was a slave and hurt and traumatised and he has incredible sad wet cat energy and he only has a flimsy layer of confidence and absolutely no idea what morals are. i knew i needed to know more you have to understand my knowledge of the game stopped at the bear sex scene like that is it and yet i somehow always find the most pathetic little men no matter what in any media i could not give a shit about any of the rest i will consume the entire thing just to know the exact extent of his sad little life

Also i wish i had the opportunity to even consider buying a full price new release no matter how good the game is there is no world in which id be able to pay for that. Also idk about the gameplay either it seems very story oriented roleplay and almost dating sim-ish? Not a huge fan of those in general its gotta have more gameplay than walking around and basically watching a movie, but, again. No idea about anything, maybe it has incredible gameplay and i just dont know. Dont tell me if it does itll just make ms sadder bc that would absolutely make me wanna play it myself. Its kinda funny honestly the longer i spend not knowing anything the crazier everyone seems to me both online and irl. Its like im living in a separate world, i know no one who hasn't played this fucking game fjfhskhfd

#asks #anonymous #that lasts part wasnt a read btw im glad its such a good game #im so used to new releases costing a whole lot of money while being complete dumpster fires #its just actually amazing bc I'm usually the guy who knows everything thats going on Especially in the gaming world #and now im just here like #hey ive been seeing this lil vampire dude a lot lately? no fucking clue who he is but i hope he endures torture today :)#thank you for the ask!#and the tiny explanation #you rly know what i like and came ready with all the whumpy bits #appreciate it greatly #all i need to know is that he is so sad and whumpable and traumatised and looks fantastic in pain

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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So. Have you ever considered the parralls between HaruTaka and Hibiya&Hiyoro? I've always felt they have kind of a similar dynamic, esp I'd you're thinking pre-ayano-death Harutaka, and to me that's always added a little. Idk ~flavour~ to konha's babysitting

HMMMM not really when it comes to their dyanamics. i mean both are best friends and etc etc but what we see of hibiya and hiyori's dynamic is a little strange.

PERSONALLY i love to think of hibiya and hiyori as childhood friends instead of what the novels did (WHYYYY DID JIN DO THAT) (for anyone who didn't read them, in the novels hibiya and hiyori are just classmates, hibiya is obsessed with hiyori who he's never even spoken to, and they end up together in the city because hiyori wants a momo autograph so logically decides to run away from home to go to the city alone and brings hibiya bc she finds out he wants a cellphone so she's like you. random kid. ill get u a phone if u come with me and carry my stuff. and hibiyas like 🫡 thats it)

LIKE.... THEM BEING CHILDHOOD FRIENDS MAKES IT SOOOOOO MUCH HEAVIER AND MORE MEANINGFUL. i like to think hibiya was super normal to hiyori but entering their ~Preteens~ he gets a crush on her and starts being strange LOL which is why hiyori is so mean bc she really resents that the one person who treated her normal (bc she comes from a wealthy family where she's treated like she can do no wrong) is now different. like she's always been bratty and stuff to hibiya but she starts being VERY mean like we see her when he falls for her.

oh sorry i got a little sidetracked. well anyways i dont see much correlation between hibiya&hiyori and haruka&takane's relationships. like hiyori and takane are very similar on an aspect, both hate being seen in their vulnerable moments and etc. and hibiya and haruka learn to deal with that ig??

but for example, a situation like in yuukei yesterday where takane is exposed and she's crying all day and has sort of a heart to heart with haruka abt how he's never gonna hate her and etc. hibiya and hiyori COULD NEVER have that. like they could. but if anyone saw hiyori crying she would kill everyone in the room and then herself. lol. if that happened to them i think hiyori would awkwardly move on and pretends it didnt happen and every time hibiya brings it up she kills him on the spot.

i mean their ages probably play a part in it too, haruka and takane are evidently more mature than hibiya and hiyori who are literally 11/12 which is like the worst age to be ever and u have 0 eq. but yeah.

but if its about hiyori being mean to hibiya and takane being mean to haruka. NOOOOO!!! its NOTHING alike. hiyori's fucking horrible to hibiya because she's 12 and hibiya is also being insufferable and like, doesn't DESERVE it but also my guy how are u expecting her to react to u being Like That. especially if we think abt it from the idea that hiyori treats hibiya that way bc she resents his change in demeanor towards her.

while takane being mean to haruka is just when she's being silly abt her crush and like in the first lost days chapter in the sixth novel, sometimes she's straight up just fucking with him. LIKE aside from the yuukei yesterday mv we.... kind of barely see pissed off takane?? is that a hot take. its just. for the most part she's super friendly to haruka. she's totally normal. yeah she's grumpy/bitchy but ACTIVELY angry?? she only blushes and gets all GET AWAY FROM ME if haruka does something that embarrasses her. and sometimes she doesn't even do anything other than think it (shaking remembering the bit in the novels where haruka's eating and takane says well im glad you're happy. and haruka's says what did u say?? and takane's like NO NOTHING. then remarks he has ketchup on his mouth and hopes he gains weight overnight. for no fucking reason other than her apparently thinking he looked cute. she's so insane i love her. BUT LIKE SHE DOESN'T ACT ON HER PISSED OFF THOUGHT SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE FROM HARUKA'S POV)

like i can't stress it enough takane is so spectacularly mischaracterised it drives me crazy. like as ene there is a reason she acts that way, obviously bc she's in this whole Secret Identity thing but also it's SAID that she's that way bc now she's never tired like she used to be. ene is takane. ene's insufferable high energy and cheerfulness and good mood IS takane. erm. sorry ill stop before i get crazies.

ig its similar in like... hibiya/haruka being very kind, hiyori/takane being like wtf. whats wrong with you. that's weird. HMMM by thinking abt it like that i can see it. (i love that i start by saying No i dont see it then talk myself into it. i just start typing and then wherever it goes, it goes) BUT i dont think they got similar dynamics exactly, at least what we do see from hibiya and hiyori. thats why i started going on abt how their relationship mightve been before. maybe then yeah? because haruka&takane are besties and hibiya&hiyori too but we never... SEE them in that dynamic?? what I'd do to see it (punches wall)

but yeah i do like to think abt hiyori and takane's similar closed off personalities when i think of haruka and hiyori bonding hehe like he at least has an idea how to approach her. sorry hibiya and hiyori and haruka friendship post str (bites pillow and shakes it)

BY THE WAY. if ur interested in hiyori's characterisation i cannot recommend enough this fic (read tags before reading for warnings) it's about hiyori entering/in the daze and it's so interesting. i love it to bits because her characterisation is just SO good...

#ask tag #kagenalysis #hibihiyo #harutaka

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sailoryooons · 6 months

Note

Okay so Im going to be super honest with you right now, I am terrified of what my digital footprint looks like. I have been reading fanfic for an unhealthy amount of years but it's literally the only thing that keeps me sane. I have always refused to comment or interact much with posts wether it was Wattpad, AO3, or Tumblr. I've always just been terrified of what my future college could find (lol 🥲). So with that being said fuck my digital footprint I hope my college finds this and reads Carved because it literally changed me. When I tell you I found it on AO3 at midnight and then read it all in one sitting and then sat there for like 3 hours trying to figure out how I was supposed to continue living life. Like how was I supposed to go on acting like I didn't just read the most ( dude i can't even find the right way to describe it awe-inspiring and magnificent don't cover it) incredible piece of contemporary literature I had ever read and then not be able to talk about it with anyone because I have no IRL friends who understand what reading fanfic like this is like. In conclusion, I am not trying to persuade you to continue writing it because I also understand that you do this because you enjoy it and I don't want to pressure you into something you won't enjoy; that's the opposite of what you should do. But, whenever you feel like picking up the series (if you do, again, I think it should always be your choice) I will be reading every chapter and having an existential crisis because I will once again have to keep it to myself.

P.S. You are literally my favorite author. I think you are an incredible person and your mind amazes like seriously every time I read something you made my jaw is on the floor and I don't have the strength to pick it back up. I just can't express to you how much I love everything you make.

Hope u have wonderful day :)

Oh my goodness okay well first of all, hi hello thank you for risking your digital footprint for me. I obviously don't care about mine because I am totally answering this on my work computer like an absolute lunatic but fuck it shibal as we say.

Honestly this is one of the nicest things someone has ever told me. Period. Full stop. To know that you enjoyed it that much, even though I wrote so little of it is... wow. I have big feelings. I definitely have a really really big soft spot for that idea and always sort of ... regretted abandoning it? I know it's a REALLY good idea, I think I just used to be intimidated and I was also afraid of writing some of the violence and darkness it requires to actually be the story that I imagined. I'm a lot more confident now, though, so it's been weighing on me a lot.

Thank yo so much for your kind words I'm emo at work right now borderline wanting to cry because this was such a touching thing to read and idk having someone who likes what I write that much is really rewarding and overwhelming.

Thank you for making my day. Wow. I'm just. AHHH. This made me feel really good. Thank you.

#replies

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twinksintrees · 2 years

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Please tell more about your playlists! I've been listening to some of them and I'm rll curious about why you put certain songs in playlists and ur anlysises on them!

thank you for the ask!! Bc this ended being way longer than I thought it would be, I’m only going to be focusing on one playlist here, but I will write up similar post for most of my other playlists as well. Today we will be focusing on my Glenn Close playlist.

Edit: a link to the playlist has been added below bc I forgot to put that in when I first posted lmao

Analysis under the cut

Carry on my wayward son: this might be one of the simplest to explain, and its because the cast themselves have joked and talked about how this song fits glenn, even going so far as to make the title to one of the most important glenn centric episodes. It has to be on there imo.

Highway to hell: this one is also simple to explain, glenn became a demon and went through his owm highway to hell, as it were. It also fits into his dad rock theme, as does carry on my wayward son.

I miss having sex but at least i dont want to die anymore: i dont have a real reason for this one honestly, i think i heard this song on a random playlist and it made me think of glenn? I think theres a version of glenn in my head that lives as a human and goes back to the human realm as normal with the other dads and this would be from his pov after he grows and gets older and does some healing i guess?? It doesn’t make a lot of sense ik.

Anna sun: this is one of the songs most closely (heh) associated with glenn in my head. This song makes me think of young glenn, fresh after morgan died, being left with a 7 y/o Nick and no idea how to cope with either of their grief. The chorus of “this house is falling apart” sung with more and more intensity makes me envision a scene where its young glenn, standing in a small, lonely apartment holding a tiny nick in his arms as he looks around, no idea what to do without his wife and best friend here to help him. The lyrics “we got no money, but we got heart” make me think of glenn, failing rockstar, determined to make a way for himself and for his son.

Sickly sweet holidays: i found this one on another glenn playlist, and the christmas theme was perfect, but also, the lyrics “im crying every day, i wish that you were here, when christmas comes this time each year” are so heartbreaking applied to him and morgan if its him singing that after shes gone.

Last christmas: it fit the christmas theme and i just liked the jimmy eat world version lmao.

Home: this song. just breaks me. The pain and the heartbreak and the tragedy of losing someone you care so deeply about just is glenn with morgan. The lyrics “and i got mad when they said that you weren't coming back to me, cause i hate hearing the truth” are crushing in this case especially because glenn does hate hearing the truth. He’s the type of person who avoids his problems until they slap him in the face. He does that with his grief, doesnt acknowledge his or his son’s pain, and it isnt good for him. For either of them.

Ghost of york: this song is on the playlist solely because it slaps and because of the lyrics “and from the corner of my eye/i saw you dressed all in white/i saw you pass right by/maybe i had too much wine/you never said goodbye” for me, this song speaks to a sad, depressed glenn mourning his wife and drowning his pain with drink, wishing he just had the chance to say goodbye one more time.

Afraid: “when i wake i'm afraid somebody else might take my place” i mean, this literally happened with him and jodie. The chorus is glenn talking shit about jodie. “It hurts but i wont fight you” is glenn accepting jodie as Nick’s new father.

Pope is a rockstar: i dont care i dont care if the lyrics are ‘pope is a rockstar’ Glenn sang ‘go little rockstar’ to nick when he was young and you can't change my mind.

Never love an anchor: oooohh boy. Oh boy. Pain. let's go. With the first lyrics alone “on some level i think i always understood/that these hands of mine were clumsy not clever/and i tried to do the best that i could/ but try as i might i could not bring myself to hold you” this is a very glenn song. Glenn Close was not meant to be a father, no matter how much he loved his son. In fact, with the next set of lyrics we’ll be looking at “a ship could never really love an anchor/so i did the only thing that i could/and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor” they can be tied directly to him making the choice to let nick go at the trial. “There are times when i still wonder about you/you are someone i have loved but never known” glenn still loves nick, but that's not the same nick he raised. He is someone glenn has loved, but never truly known after the swap with jodie. “You’ll never see the reasons i had/for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you” nick will never really know the choice, the sacrifice glenn made when he called for the switch. He will never know the pain glenn saved him from losing two parents. “I am selfish i am broken i am cruel” represents all of glenns self hatred and negativity. I think at certain points pf the podcast he genuinely believes all of those things about himself. “I am all the things they might have said to you” is glenn being terrified nick will end up exactly like him and so deeply hoping he doesn't.

The light behind your eyes: this song is from glenn’s pov in prison. “If i could be with you tonight/i would sing you to sleep/never let them take the light behind your eyes” the idea of him being able to get out and sing this for his friends around a campfire, or sing this softly to his son one last time keeps him going. “I failed and lost this fight/never fade in the dark/just remember you will always burn as bright” is glenn literally losing the court case and getting sentenced to the prison, he is the one fading in the dark, and the only thing keeping him going is the memory, the brightness, of his friends and of his son. I also think glenn sang this to nick as a lullaby when he was a little kid.

Death as a fetish: this song also represents glenns incredibly negative internal voice. The repetition of “i will never be good enough” is all of his internal thoughts that he will never open up about or share with anyone.

The soccer journals: read for a better explanation below

Hey there delilah: read the post linked below for an explanation. @that-one-queer-punk pointed this one out to me and actually wrote a fic based on it, and I’ve linked it below if you wanna check it out, it’s good shit.

Cold cold man: this for me is young glenn when he and morgan are just starting to get together. He’s very devoted to her and he truly believes “the only bed worth sleeping’s the one right next to you” he can appear to be smooth, suave guy who sleeps around, but he honestly enjoys a monogamous relationship and would never betray her that way.

Therapy: glenn needs therapy. Plain and simple.

#dndads glenn close #dndads #dungeons and daddies #glenn close #character analysis #if there any spelling mistakes I’m so sorry #just roll with it #if anyone has any follow up questions I’d be more then happy to answer them #the other character playlist breakdowns will take a while to get down with but they are coming so I hope you #enjoy those in the future :D

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roseheartss · 1 year

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hello i saw your post about the fic idea and i just wanted to say that i think you should write it! i think i can speak for nearly every writer going in this fandom when i say that a lot of us also feel that our writing skills aren't good enough for the ideas we have. it can be really frustrating when you have an amazing idea but you feel that you won't be able to follow through with it the way that you want to.

the key is to just write anyway. even if you think what you are writing is horrible just write the story you want to write. you can go back and edit and rewrite as many times as you want. you can spend as long as you want trying to get things the way you want them to be so its really not a big deal what the first draft looks like.

also im sure that there are a lot of people who would be willing to offer advice or read over anything or help in any way, we have some incredibly nice people in the community and the majority of them only bite when asked dhbfjhdgb.

but remember there is absolutely no pressure for you to write it and even if you do write it you dont have to post it if you dont want to its literally all up to you what you decide to do with the idea and there are no wrong ways to go about it.

if you do decide to write the fic i am looking forward to reading it! just from the concept alone i am already interested excited to see where you take it.

i hope you're having a good day/night and i hope that what i've said makes sense lmao i am very bad with words.

you’re going to make me CRY oh my god /pos

I’m definitely going to at least make an attempt at it. I mean, i’ll never be able to write the concept if I don’t make that first attempt, right? I think I’ll keep a backup of what I already have just in case things go really wrong along the way, but I’ve been thinking about this all day and really want to make it work

this fandom will never not blow me away with how incredibly nice, amazing, and talented everyone is. genuinely the sweetest community I’ve ever had the pleasure of being a part of. I definitely needed these words of encouragement, so thank you.

I’m not the best at conveying what I’m feeling so i hope im not coming off in any lackluster way. you’ve genuinely left me speechless. I appreciate you saying all of this more than i can explain.

I hope you’re having a good day/night too :) we can be bad at our words together lol :D (though you did make perfect sense. promise <3)

#sphylor #rose’s ask box #rose is rambling

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