#i've seen people being the person nobody wants in their fandom on sets of this show already so I gotta make it clear rip

[silverduckie]

Dominic Sherwood as Jeff Murphy in Partner Track

PLEASE DO NOT SAVE OR REPOST THESE GIFS FOR ANY REASON, USE THE REBLOG BUTTON INSTEAD. RP USE IS NOT ALLOWED, ALTHOUGH RP BLOGS WHO FOLLOW MY GIF RULES MAY REBLOG THIS POST FOR VISAGE / AESTHETIC / MUSING PURPOSES.

Also, please don’t an asshole in my tags. Make your own post if you want to hate on Jeff, Dom, or the show instead of being the jerk who shits on something I love on my own post - thank you!

#dominic sherwood #dom sherwood #dsherwoodedit #domsherwoodedit #partner track #partnertrackedit #jeff murphy #userdevon #i've seen people being the person nobody wants in their fandom on sets of this show already so I gotta make it clear rip #anyway I'm going back to my hiding hole - gif per episode but nothing too spoilery #we aren't going to discuss what I put myself through to get this show 100% giffed within the first 74 hours of it being released #gifs:mine

[tobi-smp]

it is kinda funny how with darksbi, the subsection of the fandom that is into/produces some of the darkest work. Has actually been the most (relatively) chill. Irony or something!

@angelartist asked: tobi-smp number one dark sbi shooter fr!!!

[End Transcription]

no because that's So So True ! I really do think a big part of it is that intentionally making dark content requires a level of self awareness about it.

that doesn't inherently mean the Execution of any individual work will stick the landing, but it's like !

I love Regular sbi content, but if you search for it outside of the context of dark sbi you Will run into depictions of the rankest most unhealthy dynamics out there, depicted with seemingly No awareness that it's not, in fact, Fluffy And Cute.

people who are Aware that they're making dark content A: are actively thinking about how they could impact other people, and tend to have more robust tagging For those darker elements (which often Are still present in other parts of the fandom). and B: are Aware that they're twisting the characters and depicting them in unhealthy ways

people tend to want to Win fandom in mcyt spaces, tearing each other to pieces to Prove that their little dolly is Objectively Morally Correct. twisting other characters into Caricatures to get there, sometimes when it's not even Necessary to make the points they want to.

and with sbi in Particular it's Especially dicey because of how much drama the characters get up to in the series proper.

if you want, for example, techno and tommy to be besties despite the Everything that happened a lot of classic flavor fic will fall into two tropes

1: picking a sacrificial lamb to be the Real Reason their relationship exploded, usually wilbur or tubbo (though I've seen phil sprinkled in there too). you just make it Somebody Else's fault and turn them into the devil to be Defeated

2: you just have the one or more of the characters lose their fundamental beliefs and become an empty vessel in exchange for love and protection. but like, This Is Fluff, And It's Good Because The Person Thinking For Them Is Morally Correct And Right.

and the thing About dark sbi as a Baseline is that there's always an Awareness that they're making the characters Dark On Purpose. that's the very Premise. the twisting of the characters or the setting is never done Unintentionally, it never Expects you to shove the implications underneath the rug and not think about them.

mind, there's plenty of Extraordinarily Excellent sbi fic that Isn't dark sbi, and I've seen more than my fair share of dark sbi that fumbles the bag spectacularly. but the fact is, the source material Does contain Many dark elements, elements that can be difficult to fully grasp at All let alone depict with grace or elegance.

so it's just ! much easier to navigate a space where everyone is already Aware of what they're depicting and what to expect From it. it's being in on the joke going in, knowing that if characters feel off It's On Purpose. nobody's being twisted to demonize their characters or to victim blame or to Do An Ableism, it's just for fun.

and I think that Also significantly cuts down on that feeling of competitiveness within the space. everyone's borrowing from and inspiring each other no matter which of the sbi they lean more towards.

it's in a word, Nice

(obligatory link to my breakdown on dark sbi and dark fiction in general and why it appeals to people here [Link])

#dream smp #dsmp #sbi #dark sbi #meta #long post

[antimony-medusa]

Why do MultiFandom Exchanges Run on Don't Like: Don't Read?

I was writing that writeup about the amperslash exchange last night, and I realized that some people don't know this. So. Say you are running a multifandom exchange. You got a big amount of people sign up for it, there's like 84 people signed up, and they all nominated 3 fandoms, and there's a bunch of overlap, but you are stil looking at like 120 different fandoms. You have a big mod team, for an exchange that isn't Yuletide, cause there's two of you running this exchange. Do you think that you are intimately familiar with all of those fandoms?

I have been around the internet for a long time, and I know a lot of fandoms by sight, but let me tell you, I could not tell you on-sight which of the Mass Effect relationships are canonically (or even fanonically) considered to be toxic/abusive/problematic. If you are running a multifandom exchange, there is simply no viable way to know the network of these relationships in canon, much less once you consider in fandon stuff like "these people are commonly headcanoned as siblings".

So like, say you wanted to say "no abusive relationships?" or "no incest?" I've seen exchanges try to run with that rule. You are immediately vulnerable to people coming in and saying "oh these people are canonically related" when what happened is a queercoded relationship got translated as "cousins" in the english dub. Or they mean "he's like a brother to me" that gets used as family headcanon fodder. Or a relationship where people were enemies to lovers is presented as "abusive" because of their past. And then suddenly you, the mod team of two people, is poring over localization notes and clips and fanon essays instead of doing the hundred other things that an exchange needs. Even in MCYTblr, I am aware of a lot of lore, and I keep being surprised by things like people saying "oh empires and hermit false are canonically sisters", and I watched the empires crossover. It is simply not viable to keep up with which relationships might be toxic/problematic in every relationship in every fandom on the internet. AND you're faced with things like "well this apepars to be canonically okay, but fanon would say otherwise, so if we let it through, people are still gonna be mad/hurt because the fanon is so pervasive, but if we turn it down, people are gonna be mad because canonically it's fine, so—"

It's a moderating nightmare. So the only viable way forward is to say "we will let literally anything into the exchange, be warned that there might be stuff you find objectionable in the tag set, by participating you agree that even if you disagree you're not gonna harass anyone for it" and we go. But you do want to make sure that nobody has to write a relationship they have a problem with, right? Well, that's why the "you only have to write what you offered" rule. The way the matching works is you only match to what you offered, so if there are five ships you don't agree with and two you do in the tag set, you just offer your two, and then you'll be matched on the two.

You offer what you're comfortable with, and then the algorithm does its work, and then even if you match to someone who requested something you go "oh boy" to, everyone agrees to ignore everything they didn't match to, so you just put a sticky note over that part of the screen, and continue with the one relationship you do agree with that person on.

But how do you make sure that the person who thinks that this popular relationship is abusive (they hate it and wants them to break up) and the person who thinks this relationship is actually fine and hcs it as fluffy, and the person thinks it's bad but wants to watch them destroy each other hand in unloveable hand, all get what they want? There are 84 people in your exchange, it absolutely does not work to match fluff writers to fluff writers by hand.

That's when DNWs and defaults happen. Your DNW is everything you don't want to see, so the person who wants fluff can write down "I do not want toxic dynamics" and the person who wants them to break up can DNW "happy endings", and everyone will get a gift that matches their specifications. And defaults— that's for if you match on a relationship you like, but it turns out the person you requested only wanted canon-typical homophobia and unhappy endings, and you want fluff, so you can say "actually I can't write this", you send it back to the mods, they post it as a pitch hit, and it gets picked up by someone who can look at the whole request, go "yeah I can rock with some canon-typical homophobia and unhappy endings" and opt in specifically to the request.

The whole system is set up to try and balance "everything is welcome, we are not passing judgement on your fandom" (the dl:dr attitude about what's allowed in) and "you only have to opt in to anything, nobody gets forced to write something they don't like/agree with" (you only match on what you offered and requested, you can default if someone asks something you don't like). That's the exchange space standard.

And THAT is why matching in a big exchange is always an adventure, and that's why the entire exchange space has agreed, to make this whole thing we're doing together to work, to just go "that's not for me, but you do you" and just move on when they see something they don't personally vibe with.

#cw incest mention #fandom meta #fandom exchanges

[katsigian]

The Cyberpunk Fandom on Tumblr

After being away for a while and being able to step back and watch from afar, I can easily say that the fandom/community here on Tumblr is dying. Not surprising when you consider how competitive it's become. Not surprising when you consider how toxic and clique-y it's become.

If you're not in a clique, good luck getting notes.

If you're new, good luck getting notes. This place is horrendous for welcoming newcomers.

If you don't have an elaborately modded character and don't have the VP skills of a god, good luck getting your work seen.

Better watch your step or else you'll start an argument. Whether that's about mods or an NPC or headcanon. Better yet, don't share mods or headcanons at all. You will draw the wrath of somebody out there.

But make sure that you're posting new content every three days or else people will forget about you.

And don't make it too creative and different or else people won't like it. Just remix the same old picture in a new way over and over again.

And don't even think about sharing things other than VP of a hot person because nobody cares. All everyone wants to see is a hot person for 5.5 seconds. Put months and months of effort into developing a character? Too bad. Put a lot of love and time into developing lore and writing for your character? Better save it for yourself. No one on this app cares. Your character will be whittled down to how hot they are or not. That's a toxic community.

You have people who've been in this community for months that are hurting. There are people who are losing something they love when their work that they put effort into isn't being noticed. It stings when they're overlooked because they don't meet the ridiculous criteria in this community on this app. You have people that are scared to share their work. You have people that are struggling with their mental health because of this community. Because it's a toxic community. How do I know this? Because I've seen it happen, I've heard them say it aloud.

You have some people here who managed to make it to the top and the rest struggling to keep up. Do you really think it's healthy to have that kind of structure? Do you really think it's healthy that people are buying entire PC set ups just so they can take modded pictures and feel like they belong? That's a toxic community.

Do you really think it's a good thing that those who don't have elaborately modded V's and high end PC set ups aren't getting seen? 30 notes is hardly enough for some of the talent that I see around here. But they're overlooked because they aren't in the right clique or don't create the content that the fandom is demanding or don't use every mod in existence. That's a toxic community.

So what can you do to make it better? Share work that doesn't belong to only your friends. Leave nice notes on shares even if they aren't in your clique. Take a moment to appreciate it when people share something other than VP. Take a moment to appreciate those Vs that aren't elaborately modded. Take a moment to appreciate the talent of people here. Everyone here, not only the same 20-ish people.

This is something that is happening even on Discord servers. I've watched it happen, watched the interaction fade away. But it can be fixed if enough people put an effort into it. That means a real effort, a genuine wish for this community to continue on. If not, then we'll just have a handful of people sharing their VP into a void and nothing more. That isn't a community.

Put an effort in. Look beyond the scope of only what is in arms' reach. Appreciate what people create. Appreciate the effort that is put into their characters. Share things. Reach outwards and see the good in what people create even if they aren't what you've been brainwashed into thinking is good. Because we have been brainwashed. We've been brainwashed into thinking that we can't interact with anyone outside of our clique. We've been slowly made to think that only one set of criteria for VP and OCs are "good" and that is hurting so many people. Simply announcing that you 'think all work is good!' or 'I just do it for myself!' won't mend the hole that's being ripped into people when they aren't acknowledged.

Who is going to share your work when everyone is gone? Who's going to like your work when there's nobody to like it anymore?

And I don't mean that you need to spend hours on Tumblr sharing everything you see. That will only lead to more burn out, so please don't think that's what I mean. I mean that the toxic community practices have to end. I mean leaving the brainwashing behind and acknowledging the talent and skill of all people. I mean acknowledging all people who are here.

—------------------

Edit as of 09/10/23:

I love how this post has been bastardized into something it's not by people who have zero reading comprehension and by people who want to keep the toxic little cliques in place because that's the only way they have any support. This post was never targeted at any one person, regardless of what anyone thinks or wants to believe. It was never targeted, it wasn't a vague post, it wasn't meant to start drama. Notice how I didn't mention any specific people. Although, if you felt targeted by it, maybe that's a little telling. Feeling guilty? If you or a loved one felt targeted by this non-targeted general community rambling post that many people agreed with, you may be entitled to pulling your head out of your own ass and going outside to touch grass. Being chronically online is terrible, I've heard. My sympathies.

Of course the people who want to keep the hostile, clique-y, narrow-minded toxic environment would be mad at this post. Because that kind of environment benefits them and is the only way they can garner support. It's just too bad that you outed and exposed yourselves with your behavior and actions taken after reading all of this.

And no, I did not say that I don't get enough notes anywhere on this post. I encourage you to actually read it again, this time with your thinking hat on, and tell me where I said that I want more notes on my posts. If you can find where I stated that (either in this post or anywhere on my blog) then I think we may have the next Criss Angel on our hands with the way you made something appear out of thin air like that. Plus you're just as cringy and delusional as he is, so I think I may be onto something here.

It really is hilarious how badly this has been misconstrued. But people will see whatever they want to see and if they want to look at the world through shit-coloured glasses, who am I to stop them? You can't reason with people who are chronically online and don't have lives or friends beyond a computer screen. I'd recommend that you go find help, or maybe even find Jesus, but I think the people who purposely misconstrue this post are beyond saving.

So, if you've got any problems or beef with me in regard to this post or in regard to my actions in fandom, well, I'm afraid that is between you and God, my good man. You're gonna have to sort all that out inside your own head because I do not give a fuck. Any persons "conflict" with me is their own fantasy and fabrication because I take no part in it. For these peoples' sakes, I hope they find a way out of their basement and into a therapist's office

#cp77 fandom bullshit

[ladysophiebeckett]

One of the biggest reasons people sympathize with Marcela is Natalia Ramirez’s acting. I was watching a comparison video between ysblf and lfmb and Elizabeth Alvarez fumbled a couple of scenes were Marcia’s vulnerable side shows up. For instance, one of the times that Armando rejects her, Marcela is crying in silence right next to him. Marcia, on the other hand, is just staring off into the distance without crying and Fernando is not there next to her. It doesn’t have the same impact. Not saying it was the actress’ fault. The director played a huge role on how it was portrayed. Also, when you have the actress defend her part constantly and referring to Betty as the true villain, it’s bound to make an impression with the audience. Especially when ysblf is still huge in streaming. I know lfmb was a major hit for Televisa and has many fans, but it can’t compare to the reach the original continues to have. So there’s a lot of people in the fandom with different takes.

But I agree with you. If you are gonna defend a character, you can also talk about their flaws. Marcela didn’t just hate Betty for hiding Armando’s mistresses or being the other woman or for her part in the financial mess. She hated her way before that and wanted her out of Ecomoda ever since she first set a foot in there. Stole her work, treated her horribly, and the list goes on and on.

When people say that Marcela was always there for Armando like that’s a good thing? It would be different it was like being there for a friend who is having a rough time. But when you are taking about being always there for someone who cheated on you over and over, endangered your family’s business, and is in love with someone else? How is it a good thing to be always there to pick up the pieces? Forget about the pieces, she was collecting crumbs and was happy with that.

I understand appreciating excellent performances and complex and very human characters. But it’s a different thing to make them out to be flawless and completely innocent. I love your thoughts, you have very nuanced takes and those are hard to find 🫶

Re Ramirez (marcela) vs Alvarez's (marcia) acting: bc lfmb decided to copy the Ecomoda Spin off Sitcom style (bc they did and that's a future post blah blah blah), they do not make space for marcia's dramatic moments. they soften the character a lot in the mexican adaptation. characters are not as mean to lety as they are in the original. the direction of lfmb is so different and in some scenes it's bad. (or rather the set design is bad).

On one hand, yes I think Ramirez is a better actress than Alvarez bc I think Alvarez suffers from 'I have blue eyes look at me Condition'. But also, she's not given anything to work with or anyone to work off of. Camil does not give her enough to work with but again, the directors are not asking them to give what was given in Ysblf. It's a vicious circle but its much easier to blame the directors.

Back to Ramirez, I've come across a handful of her interviews and yes she's def said some stuff and some I agree with and some I do not. It's her character at the end of the day, but she's looking at it fm her character's pov and not what is seen on the screen. I get that she probably did not like being called a villain, so again, I understand the need to defend her but...the text is clear that Marcela is a manipulative and classist person. Great acting is done on her part to show the vulnerable side but it doesn't justify the character's actions.

She hated her way before that and wanted her out of Ecomoda ever since she first set a foot in there. Stole her work, treated her horribly, and the list goes on and on.

Nobody ever wants to discuss how Marcela is a misogynist. She hated Betty on sight bc of her appearance, her class, her education, her sex. To quote Armando, if Betty was a man Marcela would have no issue. Like, it wasn't just that Betty was in the way of Patricia getting the job. She had it out for her before Betty did anything.

There's an old Ramirez interview where she talks about how Ysblf is the traditional Cinderella telenovela but remixed to modern day. Betty is Cinderella--kind, loving, poor and shunned to her little office. Except she is not beautiful like Cinderella, and the ugly step sisters are Marcela and Patricia except they're beautiful, rich and cruel. And obviously Armando, who Betty idealizes as Prince Charming but is actually far more complex. I think if today's fans realized this, they would get their shit together and realize that Betty isn't a villain in her own story.

When people say that Marcela was always there for Armando like that’s a good thing? It would be different it was like being there for a friend who is having a rough time. But when you are taking about being always there for someone who cheated on you over and over, endangered your family’s business, and is in love with someone else? How is it a good thing to be always there to pick up the pieces? Forget about the pieces, she was collecting crumbs and was happy with that.

People that say that believe that Armando owed her and that he did not appreciate her. Mind you, when it's found out that he lost their family's company and he was in the dumps, he did not ask her to stand by him. He did not ask her to be there for him. She chose to be there for him (at his lowest) and then held it against him like she does with everything. She has the ability to alienate him from his own parents. She could have called Margarita to help her with her own son but she doesn't. Marcela was desperate to hold on to any part of him just to say she had him. It didn't matter to her if he loved her or not bc in her mind, she put in the work and therefore deserved him.

Marcela was never there for Armando for his own benefit. It was always for hers. Marcela is a complex characters like Armando, but her complexity doesn't absolve her of any wrongdoing. Also, she had no self respect. Like, stand up girl. That man does not love you.

#anon #ask #ysblf #betty la fea #me to anon: <3<3<3

[shihalyfie]

This is potentially a very loaded question so feel free to not answer if you don't feel like it, but how do you as a woman feel about the handling of female characters in Digimon (anime of course, but also games, manga and even the Digimon themselves)? I've seen takes of all kinds from women over the years so I'm curious how you feel. But again, no pressure to answer if you feel uncomfortable with the subject or too daunted by all the material on the table.

Oh man, I don't mind talking about the subject in itself, but what makes it hard for me is just that the Digimon franchise just has so many things at once with so many different writers and different writing philosophies that I can't really treat the entire thing like a monolith. Especially when you have things running the spectrum from Cyber Sleuth (where female characters arguably drive the narrative far more than the male characters) to Next (which has gotten me angrily ranting about the absolutely awful way it treats its girls, a rant which I would prefer to not subject my followers to).

So before I go ahead, I do want to make sure anyone reading this understands that I'm just talking about my own personal experience and feelings regarding the situation, and I'm very sure that other people will feel differently. I definitely don't feel qualified to comment on what's the ideal way to write female charaters in media or whatever (as if there's even one right answer to that!); I can only truly comment on myself and my own stances on it. (And of course, the OP graciously asked specifically about that, but I just want to make sure nobody reading this post misunderstands!)

Well, I will say that if there's one thing that does seem to be consistent (and I say consistent, because Next absolutely violates this one and Frontier does kind of dangerously toe the line), it's that I haven't really seen Digimon fall victim to the problem of what I call making its female characters the Designated Girl Characters™. Explaining what that is is kind of tricky, but a lot of shounen series will have this very strong "consciousness" of its female characters like they're there to fill a quota, and thus treat them in a way that's kind of alienating. Or in other words, "they section off this character very weirdly in a way they would never do for the male characters." (Note that while Ruki's character arc is made with strong consciousness of her being a girl, the whole point is about condemning the idea she should be treated like some novelty just because she's a girl, so I don't count it as this.)

It was really refreshing to see a 1999 anime portray the girls as mingling with the boys like it was no big deal, and I do wonder if Adventure setting this precedent is a big reason later series have followed in this regard. Adventure through Frontier were made with heavy female creator influence, something that the fandom really tends to downplay (especially because a lot of people suspiciously avoid acknowledging their importance, like how everyone will talk about Hosoda but nobody will talk about the fact Yoshida Reiko wrote the scripts for everything he did, or how people virtually ignored Seki's existence compared to Kakudou until very recently). I think a lot of that shows in its writing; of course, that's not to say there aren't things that really could have used improvement (I think Izumi's treatment in Frontier is the one pretty much everyone universally agrees really left much to be desired, and Tomita even outright admitted he's not very good at writing girls, although that frankly kind of surprises me given how much of his other work has involved writing girls really well), but at the very least it does show a bit more conscientiousness about its female characters than you would see in other shows where female creators were either nonexistent or clearly had no influence in the staff room.

On the flip side, there's also things that were more tasteful in execution than may have even been intended; Sora's character arc isn't that much about her femininity in practice, and Juri does come off as better than your average damsel in distress character, but that doesn't change the fact that the nuance is still there (and that in the latter case a certain writer has outright indulged in that), so all I can do is just be grateful that it didn't get worse.

I guess in the end, my stance is "give or take". I like a lot of other kids' shows (including shounen) that have been better or worse than Digimon's average level, and Digimon itself is so varied that I think it just kind of mingles in there. There are things I like, things I don't like, but at the very least there haven't been too many things that crossed my personal boundary of "absolutely not" (there are, there just aren't many). I think Adventure and 02 in particular are often accused of being more malicious towards its female characters and "screwing them over" than they were intended to be, since a lot of it seems to be a combination of wanting to portray its characters a little too realistically and simply just accidental bad circumstances of how it presented (the fact Hikari's two most famous episodes are by two non-regulars on the series who seemed to be huge fans of portraying her with a brother complex really did not help here), and things like "the same things that feel personally relatable to me are also things that read badly to others, so I understand why people don't like it but I also feel kind of weird when they imply that this kind of concept is inherently Bad" (a lot of things related to Sora and Miyako fall into this category for me). And I mean, part of the reason Miyako became my central character back when I wrote fanfic more often was that I just found her to be an incredibly complex character for the kind you'd usually see in shounen works; I honestly don't know of many other things that would portray someone like her sympathetically instead of cramming her into a "hysterical woman" trope box.

There's also the fact that there's a lot more adult-oriented Digimon media coming up nowadays, so there's that awkward situation where "female character representation" starts having a blurred boundary with "waifu character". Which is not to say that I mind the idea of male fans also liking the female characters I like, but more so that when you get into this territory, I start getting conscious about whether the female characters are more obviously being written in a way to "please the male fans and make them into fanservice material" than it respects them as characters. And I mean, I say it's a blurred boundary for good reason; the aforementioned Cyber Sleuth characters do kind of have that (especially in their character designs), but they are actually written as good characters with agency, whereas you have things like the Adventure girls in tri. who are ostensibly written to follow up on their Adventure character arcs but came off to me as being uncomfortably shoved into the Waifu Character Fanservice troping boxes, especially Mimi and Hikari. (Hooters outfit Mimi and brother complex Hikari are among the few things that I would say have crossed a serious line with me.) So again...give or take.

I will say that the American English dub had a somewhat more misogynistic nuance in the way it treated Mimi, Miyako, and Hikari (it had a lot more condescending tone in the way it portrayed Mimi's airheadedness/materialism and Yolei's penchant for fangirling while also expecting Kari to just put up with Davis harassing her, and it exacerbated the already-kind-of-uncomfortable feelings I had about the unsympathetic way Sora is portrayed in Our War Game!), but it's not to the extent I felt it derailed the entire narrative.

As for the Digimon themselves, the feminine Digimon design sexualization didn't bother me much when I was younger (I remember I really wasn't bothered by Angewomon's design at all), but it does bother me a little more now, especially since you have more designs like Venusmon these days (really? really?). But then there are also really good designs like LovelyAngemon and Mastemon that are just plain cool! And then even designs aside, there's a difference in the way each work portrays them; for instance, you can tell certain anime had more fun with the chest jiggles on the same Digimon that other series were not weird about at all. Maybe the fact Adventure and 02 weren't really weird about Angewomon's design was exactly why I didn't notice it very much back then?

Well, that got long and very rambling, but I hope that answered your question to some extent!

#atamatajiih #shiha's ask box #digimon multi series talk #tri negativity #dubbing discourse #not that I intended it to get super negative #but it does lightly touch on it so I wanted to cover my bases so it can catch filters for people who don't want to see that

[olderthannetfic]

Escapade Dance Party 2023 Writeup 1/3

Seeing as Escapade Online is coming up this weekend, I suppose I should finally write up some stuff about last in-person con that I never got around to.

I don't usually bother with a full con report, but I do like writing up the dance party. Instead of just playing music, I do a playlist of vids that we project on the wall. It's a small con, somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and thirty, generally, so I don't bother to ask permission. (This is also why we don't broadcast or redistribute the dance party in any way or do one for the online con.)

Escapade is a venerable con. In fact, it's the oldest still-running slash con. Back in the 90s, people would come here to find out what was going on in fandom that year, get pimped into the latest fandoms, find out about new zines. Fandom moves a lot faster now: between when we decide on panels and when the con happens, a whole movie fandom could have risen and fallen. Still, it's as easy as ever to feel out of touch, just for different reasons than in the 90s.

I want people to come away from the dance party feeling like they've heard of some of the Next Hot Things. It's also a great opportunity to cover some of attendees' own fandoms that may not end up in the main vidshow. As a vidder, I despise cons that try to make the main vidshow purely audience-focused and just about whatever ships are big. A con like that sees vidders as providers of entertainment, not fellow fans and attendees. But a con that honors vidders' actual current interests is a con with a vidshow full of weird fandoms of one and glaring gaps in what older fandoms are included. So having another curated show, like this dance party, is a nice way to bridge that gap.

The party is essentially like an enormous mixtape. It's a chance for me to make thematic links between vids and to inflict music I actually want to dance to onto a captive audience. Each discrete vidding community tends to have extremely boring taste in music. Sorry, not sorry. And for dance music, this is even worse. I often can't find what I'm looking for, but I can try.

Every year, I begin by looking at attendees' profiles on the Escapade site, filtering the m/m tag on AO3 for what's been active in the past year, and browsing around until I come up with a list of fandoms of interest. Fandoms that people suggested Escapade panels for also go on the list. These may be the big ones, but there are usually a lot of idiosyncratic options since it's a small con. It doesn't matter if Steve/Bucky is big if nobody at this con is going to care.

I set up my spreadsheet for my epic vid search: This involves not only sheets for my fandom list but vocabulary lists for searching: Слэш, 燃, etc.

After that, I go through the past year of the AO3 'fanvids' tag and maybe the 'amv' one, looking for interesting vids. They need to be at least somewhat danceable and 2-5 minutes without a ton of show audio. That's easier to find on AO3 than Youtube at large, but it still knocks out most vids I open everything, put the playhead to the middle of the vid, and test the sound. If I hear something viable, I go back and watch the vid. But if too many people I know have kudosed, I take it off the list since people have seen it already. For this step, I don't care about fandom, just about the vid being interesting and preferably slashy. (Yes, this is how I fell into Beyond Evil.)

After that, I start looking on Youtube and Bilibili, fandom by fandom, ship by ship. Some fandoms I never do find. They're just too unpopular with vidders. Some I find, but only a ship I have banned. I have a lifetime ban on Klance, for example. Anything too redolent of antis goes on the banned list. Anything with surprise tentacles is a shoo-in.

I also have some other rules for myself that I've developed over the years. I want at least a couple of vids with women, preferably f/f. Escapade is more m/m-focused, but a lot of attendees are queer and/or ship f/f as well. The show must have at least a vid or two that focuses on somebody other than white or East Asian characters. I mostly avoid vidders who are well known to people who attend the US slash/Media Fandom/vidding type cons unless I really cannot fill a particular fandom need elsewhere. I especially try to avoid vids that have already shown at other cons recently, though depending on how they're labeled, I may screw that one up. I've been more and more strict about this over time. I find a lot of vidding communities pretty incestuous, so this is a chance to shake things up.

A big one that surprises some people is that I try to avoid most multifandom vids and many ensemble vids. This one is negotiable depending on the vid, but I find that there's a distasteful pattern where a juggernaut will be deemed worthy of taking up a whole slot for itself with just a focus on the one ship while other things are relegated to an Awesome Ladies compilation. Those vids are fantastic in isolation, but if you play a lot of them together in a vidshow, let alone a vidshow that's a dark, noisy dance party, they all blend together into mush. A great ship vid or single character study, on the other hand, still manages to grab people. If you aren't willing to say "This ship gets the Star Wars/MCU/etc. slot, not that ship", what are you actually saying?

I try to find a fresh choice for any fandom that has been directly requested (so pretty much just Sentinel) and any where I know some attendees are mostly or only in that one fandom (The Professionals).

Of course, I can only play what people have already made, and this is a dance party, so sometimes, there just aren't any choices. I do shoehorn in a couple of not-very danceable vids most years, but they can only go right before or after the intermission or right at the end, so the number has to be limited.

One thing I don't always care about is the strictest standards of "quality" in a snobby vidder sense. Not only do different communities have different standards for what counts, but I'm more interested in novelty or great music. I won't play anything I think is terrible, but I'll take a B+ vid by a rando to an A+ song over an A+ vid that everyone's already seen.

For 2023's con, I decided the party should have a theme of vampires since I had guessed—incorrectly— that the new Interview with the Vampire show would be the latest hot thing everyone was talking about. In retrospect, I should have picked mafia for Kinnporsche and Gonchraov. At least vampires gave me good decorating ideas for cheesy fake candles and black spiderweb-draped tables.

It also sent me looking for goth club music, which I did find to some extent, but between who didn't attend this year and how awesome the cocktail party outside was, we got much less action on the dance floor than usual. (Excuse you! That music is totally danceable! "Drunken tai chi" as we used to say!)

At least my themed cocktail list was a hit. As an annoying cocktail nerd, it infuriates me when people just take a famous drink and slap a fannish name on it, so I insist on making a fannish cocktail list I find respectable.

Playlist in a moment.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

You still have to admire how crazy some pro Lokius are... I'm still stunned.

https://www.tumblr.com/darklinaforever/734355929616842752/everybody-lies

I do think they are living a bit in denial but I wish I could say this surprises me, but its not new, they've always taken sylki moments and tried to warp them into being l*kius moments. The 'its about who scene' although it is about the whole gang collectively it was confirmed that Sylvie was the last trigger that helped him control his time-slipping, when asked very explicitly if that line was about a specific person or the group as a whole the response the head writer said was it was both, meaning it was specifically directed and about Sylvie but also encompassed the rest of the group who were his found family, so you could argue that scene is a sylki scene but they always use it as 'proof' that L*kius is canon. Other scenes they use in this way are the 'for you' scene which as many have pointed out is a throwback to thor when he said the same thing. Again others have pointed this out but the structure of the original line was the 'for you' was directed at a singular person, his father, the 'for all of us' was to include thor and the people of asgard. Seeing as this line is a mirror of the original it makes sense that the 'for you' is directed at a singular person. It also makes sense with everything we've seen in the show, the fact that its the canon ship, that this 'for you' is directed at Sylvie. Especially as the line just before it is him saying 'I know what I want, I know what kind of god I need to be' which are continuations of conversations Loki had with Sylvie alone, the one in the bar where she asks him what he wants, and the one where he visits her to tell her about the loom being a failsafe and him possibly having to kill her and she says he'd be taking everyone's free will from them and asks him if that is the kind of god he wants to be. I'm not going to say this line is one hundred percent definitely directed at Sylvie alone, we'd need confirmation from a writer, producer or tom who improvised the line, for that. But logic tells me its most likely directed at her. But again any time a sylki makes a post about that scene you'll have l*kius shippers jumping in to scream that mobius was there too. Well thor was there too in the original scene but nobody will deny that the 'for you' was directed at only Odin. Sylvie was the more prominent figure in that scene, she was (literally) front and centre.

Then there is the scene you've mentioned here, with that final look loki gives over his shoulder, which honestly that look gave me goosebumbs. But as you pointed out Sylvie was the one they focus on the most in this moment, her reaction. But they edited her out completely in that gif set, though to be fair to the op of that gif set they have tagged it correctly so its up to them if they want to edit her out, shippers are going to ship. But what I love about that scene was how it parallels the one in 1x5 when they are facing alioth and Loki decides to be the distraction so Sylvie can enchant it, she shakes her head at him the same way because she doesn't want him to sacrifice himself, she doesn't want to lose him but he goes anyway because he knows there is a greater purpose and lives to save. To me the culmination of Loki's arc, of him making this sacrifice, comes back to that line in 1x6, he just wants Sylvie to be ok, this sacrifice is how he ensures that happens.

I'll admit I've never quite seen this amount of denial from a fandom before, like I've seen people ship non canon ships before, I've shipped plenty of non canon ships before myself, but usually the fandom will enjoy the ships scenes and content but still recognise that the ship isn't canon. Having antis try and gaslight me into believing that I misinterpreted the canon ship is also a new experience for me but, all of this being said, if they are keeping it in their own tag and not harassing sylki shippers, then I just leave them to it, if that's what makes them happy, why should I worry about what they ship or post? I find I am happier just enjoying the content from my ship and trying to ignore any negativity, though I appreciate that is sometimes hard to do especially when it features prominently in the main loki tag and some of the takes are, at best, really bizarre or, at worst, very insulting to sylki shippers.

#sylki #loki x sylvie #loki season 2 spoilers #anti lokius #to be clear this is directed at those who say these things in the sylki tag or on sylki posts #I've got no problem with regular shippers who are minding their own business. #answered

[rughydrangea]

I made the decision a while ago for this to be a fandom space; I wanted it to be somewhere that I only posted about things that either made me happy or were completely meaningless. In my own life I spend a lot of time reading about the world and feeling great despair and trying to rouse myself out of my despair to do something (today was productive; I called and yelled at my senators' voicemails about Gaza and set up a recurring donation to Meduza), and I didn't want that to bleed over onto here.

I don't even know what I can say about Navalny. Last Thursday I flew out to Las Vegas to a professional conference--a large group of people who study Eastern Europe/Eurasia, a large number of whom are Russian citizens. On Friday morning, I woke up, read the news as I always do first thing, and felt something inside me break. Navalny rose to national prominence around the time I started getting serious about Russia, and he was a constant to me. In the past three years, again and again I was overwhelmed by his courage, and his ability to keep on joking and smiling and dictating memes to his social media people even as he suffered under such inhumane conditions. It turned out he meant even more to me than I thought, because the idea that he isn't here anymore, that he won't get to see the wonderful future Russia that he believed in and that I hope for with every fiber of my being hurts too much to bear.

In a way I was lucky that this happened when I was surrounded by Slavists, by Russians. On Friday afternoon there was a reading and Q&A by the opposition journalist Elena Kostyuchenko. The second question in the Q&A was asked by a middle aged man, who stood up and said, "Is there no hope left?" Her answer was quite beautiful ("There is still hope, but we must create it ourselves"), but what really stood out to me was the constant sound of sniffling, including from myself. Everyone was crying.

That evening there was a meeting (when that English word is used in Russian, it typically means a political gathering or protest). I live in a small town that is three hours away from the closest major city, so never have the opportunity to attend meetings. I went. It was in front of the Bellagio; in order to get there, I had to make my way through a luxury shopping mall and a large chunk of the hotel's casino. Once I was outside, there was a Lunar New Year celebration, and then finally, a small group of Russians, holding signs with slogans like Путин - убийца (Putin is a murderer) and the white-blue-white opposition flag. I had no sign and felt out of place, but settled in for a bit. Another woman from the conference got in an argument with a local Russian who was evidently anti-Putin (thus his presence) but somehow pro-Trump. It was a fittingly surreal experience for a surreal day.

On Saturday evening there was an impromptu poetry reading. People read out poems written in Navalny's honor, and other pieces of contemporary political writing, and shared their grief and fear for their relatives still in Russia. I have always been an easy crier, and though I was not alone in crying then, I felt like I was doing something wrong--nobody in my family is in danger from Putin's government. A woman afterwards said it was good that I cry so easily, it means I have a soft heart. I don't know that I think it's a good thing. There's a Hilary Mantel line: "You must thrive in spite of yourself; and so that you may do it, God takes out your heart of flesh, and gives you a heart of stone." I feel like I've been waiting for my heart of stone for 33 years, but it's nowhere to be seen. Maybe that's why I'm not exactly thriving.

I've always resisted communal grief. I thought I had permanently ruptured my relationship with my mother when I skipped my grandmother's memorial, but I couldn't face the prospect of sharing my grief with anyone, not even my family. It was too personal for that. But obviously I didn't know Navalny personally, and my grief for him is tied up in my grief for Russia, this country that I love so much and that I want to see free and happy and peaceful and kind the way I believe it can be. And Navalny did too, and never stopped fighting for it. Even when it killed him. Never for a second could I think of this as a personal loss. It's a loss we share. I feel lucky that I was able to feel that in a community.

(I felt this even more strongly when I briefly ventured into English-language commentary from the intellectuals of the internet (lol), who either didn't get why this was a big deal or didn't care because they know that Navalny was aligned with right-wing movements at the beginning of his career and apparently that is all that matters. I would never dream of defending his flirtation with Russian nationalism, but to act as though nothing that came after (even though was came after was the vast majority of his career) mattered, and to ignore the fact that he turned away from those nationalist movements is just complete bullshit and it makes me so angry. He practiced self-improvement, I thought that was a good thing. But no, I guess only saints are worthy of being mourned on Al Gore's internet.)

Today I woke up and watched Yulia Navalnaya's video. It's here, I highly recommend you watch it if you haven't already. I'm in awe of her strength, her anger, and her love. I made my advanced Russian students watch the whole video and translate it, I had my first years watch the ending with English subtitles. For my second years, I couldn't watch it again, but we listened to a song, "This will pass," by the group Pornofilmy. It's a protest song, and so fucking beautiful (it was my number one song on my Spotify unwrapped last year lol). "This will pass / what a black era has befallen us / but in the distance appears to me / the forgotten light of living hope / this will certainly pass!"

I just couldn't pretend to my students that everything was normal. As students of Russian language, too, they have to understand how important all of this is. Even though I started crying in every class, yikes. I know there's nothing more awkward than a crying teacher, but I still can't believe it. I still can't accept it. I am going to try to do what he encouraged: I won't give up, I won't do nothing. I will do my best to act, as I can, as an American (what I can do is different than if I were Russian, and my responsibilities are different, since my government commits its own evils).

Congrats if you made it to the end! The horrors of this world are too many to count, but as someone who truly loves Russia with all my soul, this fucking hurts.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #real life #russia cannot be understood with the mind alone

[elainsweetcobalt]

Hi, I saw that a court of thought answered this anon and I am sure that she is talking about you... fyi

"I saw your back and forth with one of the nastiest El/riels in the fandom and I wish I could have saved you from the effort to talking to a wall. I'm not surprised to see her reputation continues to set the way for her and her friends. Her phrasing and condescending "sweet girl" attitude is super easy to put together, she is fooling no one. She is also OBSESSED with some of the big Gwynriels in the fandom.

My suggestion block her, and while you can't stop them from using burner accounts, if they go through the effort of stalking you, says more about them at the end of the day.

I can't believe we have to remind people these are fictional characters, shipping characters should be fun and lighthearted. Someone shipping another potential couple is not life and death and it gives nobody the right to behave like a scorned lover out for blood and revenge.

Elain IS NOT REAL. What she thinks she is feeling is a projection of her own limited interpretation of the text. It is laughable how much some people take for face value vs taking in all the context. If SJM wants Elain and Lucien to be together, guess what, SHE WILL PUT THEM TOGETHER. For someone who is getting multiple degrees, I'm genuinely concerned of the education they've received if they don't understand consistent patterns. Imagine thinking Elain wearing blue is sign of endgame but Gwyn's bracelet with blue caused an uproar. Mor wears red, does that mean she is truly Cassian's mate. Oh Emerie is associated with purple, Feyre, out the way dear, Emerie was Rhy's true mate all this time. There is a reason El/riel's jumped ship in 2021 and their engagement is dropping. Not the other way around. T"

her response.

A young girl referring to others as "honey" and "sweetie" in a condescending way is pretty much a calling card for immaturity. So is throwing around the degree they were obtaining at 20, acting like it proves how serious and superior they are to all others even though a few years later they are taking delight in instigating fandom drama.

My sister has two degrees and she completely lacks common sense. My husband has a Masters, can build a computer from scratch and code a video game but often struggles with adulting.

My father in law dropped out of high school at age 16 yet managed to work his way up to Vice President of a company in New York City (before his retirement), where he traveled all over the world and ended up having box seats for Super Bowls.

Degrees are wonderful but many times, they don't mean much of anything except for someone's ability to memorize information. And they definitely don't make someone more mature.

And the point you were making about the characters and their colors is valid. They latch on to something so long as it supports their ship while acting like there is no possible meaning behind it if it comes to another.

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters in this fandom is trying to get into the head of SJM by paying attention to her patterns and writing style.

It doesn't matter who is a doctor, who is a lawyer, who is an author themselves, who is a server, who is a psychologist.

None of that matters because SJM could care less about what any of us do or whether her characters are following the patterns we expect of them. She only cares about what SHE wants and where her characters take her and our personal lives really don't factor in to any of that.

Truly, the only way we can get a leg up on the future of the series is pay attention to the type of author she is, the romance she prefers, and what she's done with characters in the past.

I've been following you for quite a while and I haven't seen you being nasty or any of the things she says, I hope that doesn't affect you.

Hello Anon! Ok I'll start with this sigh First, why is this so long?

I don't know what reputation they're talking about or how I'm such a nasty person, I also don't know what big Gwynriel accounts I'm obsessed with when I only interacted with a gwynriel once and it wasn't a BIG account. If someone wants to call me a witch, go ahead but at least have proof of that.

We all know that they are fictional characters, I never said that it's not funny how this person uses that argument and immediately tries to embarrass my professional education, I have NEVER used my professional title to validate my arguments, I think that only the people closest to me know what I do for a living, I did not say hey I studied this so my argument is more valid, so as usual they are simply a lot of lies.

about the response of A court of thought, I don't think I can say much. I'm glad her family is well and multitalented I guess.

I never thought that the word "Dear" was an insult and I didn't think that would lead someone to insult me because of my age someone who had already tried to shame me for my age before. I'm 24 not 14 please, or tell me directly that "must respect my elders", nor that someone treated me like an idiot and after blocking me edited their reblogs.

I'm tired of condescension and hypocrisy, among other things in this fandom. Thanks for reaching out, and I hope you continue to follow me and enjoy the content I post, but it's not worth the time or frustration. She can say what she wants, but those who know me know the truth.

#anon aks #I'm a little tired of this fandom

[emptypassicn]

@nebula-drcams        sent ;;

        “   " ❓ " ”

From ;; SEND ME A “ ❓ “ TO GET MY OPINION ON SOMETHING. // No Longer Accepting

Didn't give me a topic so I chose one. /lh

Interactions

Interactions are fun and great but I feel like people bitch about not getting them too often without even trying themselves to get interactions. And this is something I've been seeing and hearing about a lot more lately but no matter the platform I've roleplayed on, the fandom, the characters, or so on people always bitch about not getting interactions. And it's always so ironic because these people are the ones kneecapping themselves from getting interactions.

They'll complain about not getting interactions or having meaningful connections for their muses when, quite literally, it's their own fault. They won't reach out to people first, they always expect other people to come to them. They won't fill out peoples' interest trackers so people won't know who the fuck out of their muses they even want to interact with if they want to reach out to that person. They won't try to plot or chat with their mutuals to make meaningful roleplay connections unless this connection relates to a ship they like half the time. They'll give poor responses that basically make any ic thread hit the wall or make their thread partner not want to write it anymore.

You have to actually try to get interactions, you can't just complain about not getting them when you aren't even trying in the first place. You've gotta send someone a meme to start an interaction yourself sometimes, hell, even send them an ooc meme to show interest in their muse / them or to try and set up a muse connection like sending something in for a relationship / plotting meme. If you're too nervous to do that then at least try filling out their interest tracker if they have one, try liking any "like for a starter" or "like to plot" posts they make. Just anything to show interest.

Now, I know not everyone who complains about not getting interactions is the type of person to not try at all to start interactions themself. There are some people who reach out a ton and get nothing back, this isn't about people like that. This is about people who just bitch and get upset about not being interacted with but then never reach out to other people, the people who expect people to always come to them and do all the work to roleplay with them. Because I see those a lot. I've seen them on tumblr, I've heard about them from friends, I've seen them on roleplay games I go on and it's tiring. It's just always tiring to watch them get upset because nobody wants to interact with them when they don't try at all to interact with anyone or show any interest in interacting with anyone else.

#nebula-drcams #ɪɴǫᴜɪʀʏ.;; [ answered ask ] #ᴄʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ. ;; [ out of character ]

[ashes-writing]

just what i needed | stranger things ; t.hagan

A/N ;  This uh.. it may or may not have been a true labor of love for me -as is the one I have going for Billy, tbh. I started this telling myself that I probably wouldn't ever do anything with it and then an insane lack of reader fics for this goofy freckled bastard -and a burning desire to at very least fix friendships and meddle around with what could've been (in the case of tommy and billy and friendship) and yeah.. Here we are. I go into this fully aware that literally nobody asked for this and most likely, this will not be one of the series that a lot of people read, but.. I can't just not post it. I can't.

So, if you've been looking for a short lil Tommy x reader thing, here we are, babes.Sorry it's a reader insert, this just worked for me, idk.

Pairing ; Tommy Hagan x Good girl!Fem reader

Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ; this one is set around the point in season 2 when Tommy and Steve have their falling out. It's written under the pretense that Carol dumps Tommy for whatever reason and there will be so much billy and tommy friendship fuckery (Despite me own personal belief that Tommy loved both Steve and Billy but also wanting to like.. let other tommy fans insert themselves into the picture anyway..) There will be no upside down + it's unholy terrors here. Just the same as allll the others, this is a teen rom com / slice of life thing so there won't be anything but the normal here.

Tag List ; @musichealsscars is the only person on my stranger things tag list. I throw a tag out to @rampagewriting -bae, if this is not your cup of tea, you can totally skip this, it's fiiine. if you'd like to be added to my taglists for anything including fandom piece in question is for, please let me know or add yourself -> here.

Warnings ; Tommy coming to a lot of huge realizations. Underage drinking (and yes, a short drive bc this is the 80's) and a no parents house party situation. Lots of sexual tension, mentions of fuck marry kill being played, a very very drunk reader and a slightly less cocky version of Tommy bc he's going through a lot here and he's getting his head around it. Huuuge potential that Billy and Tommy are more than a little OOC here. I've been dying to write them but i miiight not be the best at it.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || requests are open (pls.. pls... send me things) but they're limited to headcanon asks + filth/fluff alphabet letters and I'm not accepting wrestling / wrestlers in my ask box. Any other fandom/character but wrestling that I happen to write for is fine and I beg of you -> send me things.

I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.

“I think we need a break, Tommy.”

– when she said it, the first thing he thought was that she was just bored. She wanted to fool around with other guys and she’d come crawling back. That had been almost a month ago.

And so far? 

Carol Perkins hadn’t looked back a single time.

Tommy just wasn’t sure what exactly to do with himself. With Steve preoccupied with the situation with himself, Nance and Byers, Steve wasn’t in the right frame of mind to give him any real advice and they weren't talking anyway because they'd gotten into it for those exact reasons. Billy Hargrove turned out to be the one to notice his internal struggle.

Billy had taken him aside.

“Be dressed and ready at 8. You’re goin to Tina’s party with me tonight.”

Billy’s tone indicated clearly that he wasn’t fucking around.

So with the firm order, Tommy threw together a last ditch effort Halloween costume. A red bandana rolled and tied around his forehead. A sleeveless white tank top and some old oil-stained jeans he had lying around that had clearly seen better days. To give the outfit a little more realism, he even offered himself up to mow the lawn for his old man.

Around 7:45, he found himself standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom, the plastic Bowie knife strapped to his bicep. He laughed at how ridiculous it was, the idea that a stupid Halloween party was somehow going to fix the place his head was at lately. He knew it wouldn't, obviously. The problem was that this time, he just didn't know what the fuck to do to even begin fixing at least some of the problem.

He almost called Billy to call the whole thing off but right around the time he picked up the phone downstairs in the hall to do it, the loud rumble of the Camaro driven by Billy Hargrove came roaring up the street, an abrupt halt at the curb in front of the Hagan house.

Billy laid on the horn, half out the window, yelling out to him. “Get your ass in, Hagan. C’mon, we got shit to do.”

Tommy made his way down to the Camaro and got in on the passenger side. The drive was quiet at first. But Billy shattered the silence. “Remember my talk with Harrington? I’m gonna tell you the same thing so just fuckin listen, alright? Carol’s not worth it, man. Look, she was screwing around on you over the summer. You know it, I know it because you told me a thousand times. You weren’t really that happy either and she kinda treated you like shit, Hagan.”

“Yeah,yeah.” -but it’s hard to let go of an old habit and essentially, that was the perfect description of his relationship with Carol Perkins since as far back as 7th grade. The more he thought about it lately, the harder it was to remember why he’d even liked her in the first place.

She was blunt, rude, definitely spoiled. And while he always took up for her, she never seemed willing to do the same for him. They spent nearly all their time arguing -that is when they weren’t fucking at his house or hers or in his backseat.

Steve might have been onto something when he broke away from their usual girls.

Granted, he’d picked the worst one possible to experiment breaking away with, but  the fact remained… Steve did seem more at ease now that he wasn’t just amassing himself a body count.

“There are other girls out there, man. There’s other fish in the sea.” Billy said it with a shrug as he exhaled smoke and took the last drag of his cigarette. “Tonight, you’re gonna see that. You’re gonna see I’m right.”

Tommy laughed. “Doubtful, but whatever.”

Billy rolled his eyes. For whatever reason, Tommy felt the need to elaborate. “Girls don’t date the sidekick, Hargrove. They date, well… You or Steve. Not me.” Tommy said it with absolutely none of the bitterness or the jealousy this fact made him feel, just flat. As if it were something he’d come to accept. 

“I’m gonna smash your fuckin head against a wall, idiot.” Billy rolled his eyes. “Look. You’re not just the fuckin sidekick. You’re probably one of few actual friends I’ve got here. This is for your own good, man.” Billy’s Camaro pulls to a stop behind a red Mustang fastback that Tommy’s seen around the Hawkins High parking lot a time or two but never really bothered to pay attention to. When he caught sight of the license plate, he snickered to himself and nudged Billy, nodding to it. “TOOFAST, huh?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Please. It’s Ford. The only thing it’s too much of is a pain in the ass when it breaks down on the side of the road. Ya know,” he rubs his chin and chuckles, “The driver’s this real cute little thing. Shy as hell, man. Her brother gave her the car.”

Billy could have told him that the driver in question was the same girl that had him stopping midsentence when he popped into the class BIlly just happened to have with her, but Billy wasn't about to do that, oh no. Where was the fun in doing that?

Tommy’s brow quirked. “A girl drives that.”

“Mhm. Like a little old lady out for Sunday brunch, but she drives it.” Billy laughs from the front step of Tina’s house as he looks back at Tommy who is still admiring the car. Tommy shrugs. “Not bad.. For a Ford, I mean. It’s red.”

Inside the crowded house party, you dangled your keys in your hands while nursing a heavily spiked cup of punch and somehow, wishing it was stronger. Parties were not your thing. People -especially the viper pit known as the cool kids at Hawkins High, were even less your thing. You only tolerated Hargrove because he wasn’t fake like the rest of the ‘cool kids’. And he knew your older brother, so you kind of had to tolerate him at this point. And maybe at some point, tolerance turned to an odd sort of friendship, and that odd friendship was the reason you were even here tonight. Sneaking out to a party which was not something you'd normally do. Neither was drinking but.. It was taking the edge off.

It was Billy’s idea to talk you into coming out to this alcohol fuelled open grope fest.

But you were annoyed. It was too loud. Too cramped. Just too much.

And Billy, the asshole responsible for talking you into sneaking out tonight, well.. He was running late as usual.

“Five more minutes. If he’s not here in five more minutes, I’m out.” you say it to yourself as you slam back the contents of the red plastic cup in your hand. You make your way into the kitchen. There are a few people in there but not as many as the living room or out back where the keg is set up, waiting to be tapped.

Madonna gives way to Ballroom Blitz and you bounce around on your feet a little, grinning.

 At least this isn’t more of that shitty pop music Tina and Carol have been playing on a heavy rotation all night. At least it’s… something.

You’re swaying your hips to the music as you dance around the kitchen, opening cabinets and just being nosey overall. When your eyes light on the bottle of vodka, you raise a hand and giggle. “This oughta numb the stupidity my eyes are beholden right now.” you muse as you scramble up onto the counter and grab for the bottle.

You’ve just uncapped it and taken a huge sip when your best friend Layla wanders in and gapes. Not only are you at Tina’s stupid party, you’re drinking vodka straight from the bottle. She nods to the bottle in your hand. “Pace yourself, lightweight.”

“Oh my god, fuck off, Lay.” you laugh a little. Your eyes flit around, taking in the drunken mass of teenagers at varying stages of drink or fuck. All that’s missing is a brawl. And you laugh as soon as that thought comes because with Billy supposedly coming out tonight, that’s a very real possibility.

“Is he here?”

“Who?” you answer, taking another sip. The burn of the vodka is starting to lessen. It’s starting to go down a lot smoother now.

This probably should’ve been your warning to stop but sadly, it won’t be.

“Billy! You’re the one who’s friends with him, God knows how that one got started..” Layla has that dreamy look. The one she always gets right before she does something so stupid it’s almost incomprehensible. It usually ends with her, crying in her room -or yours, while she talks about boys being dogs and insisting they don’t want anything but sex.

“Hey!” you pout and you find yourself glancing around. Billy isn’t here. But to be fair, Billy isn’t exactly the person you’re looking for right now, either. No, the guy you’re looking for is Tommy Hagan and the fact that you can’t seem to stop yourself from searching for him in a crowd frustrates you to no end.

Layla’s still going on and on about how neat it must be to be partially in-crowd when you zone back into the present and out of your daze. You laugh hysterically because it’s just not true. 

They’re royalty -supposedly, and you’re just.. Not.

You’re the quiet one. The awkward one. The girl who doesn’t really do well with others. People always assume you’re a sweetheart -and you are, but.. This comes with the nifty little annoyance that they also feel like they can just plow right over anything you say or any boundaries you set. And if it weren’t so damned hard to just speak up, to just let yourself get good and angry like you want to sometimes, if you had the spine to stand up for yourself, they’d find out real quick that you’re not the girl to mess with.

“Oh my god, did you see who Carol is here with?” Layla finally changes the subject. At the mention of Carol Perkins, you roll your eyes. “Nope.” the p lingers as you say it. Calmly raising the bottle of vodka to your lips to take another long pull. “Don’t really care, either.”

“Ben! She’s here with Ben.”

“So?” you shrug. It did sting a little, knowing the queen bitch of Hawkins High was at Tina’s Halloween party with your latest ex, the one who dumped you because you were “too boring.” Which was bullshit, it was guy code for “won’t just crawl into my backseat willingly.”. 

But then the stray thought crept in. Tit for tat.

You are real quick to shove this out. As if Tommy Hagan, with beautiful eyes and goofy smile -and admittedly, not a working brain cell in his head, bless his heart, and those goddamn freckles and that fucking dry sense of humor.. As if Tommy Hagan would ever look twice at you.

“So? You’re not upset?”

“She can fuckin have him, honestly.” you shrug and laugh as you take another sip, “And he can take a flying fuck on a rolling donut.” your words slur just a little and at the two times you say fuck in the same sentence, Layla glances from you to the bottle in your hand and she just laughs.

“Hey… Let’s get Isla and Dot… Maybe we can play a little Kill,Fuck,Marry or somethin.. Maybe make this bullshit party at least a little fun for us, the peasants.”

You shrug.

On cue, Isla rushes in and she’s all laughter and trying to grab you both to kiss your cheeks. She absolutely reeks of alcohol and she’s probably a good two of three sheets to the wind. Dot wanders in behind her, a cup of punch raised to her lips.

“Did you see who your ex is here with? He downgraded, girl. He downgraded so bad.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head no while shrugging. “Layla already told me and honestly, I don’t fucking care. Ben can go fuck himself.”

Dot blinks. Then she sees the bottle in your hand and she giggles. “Oh.” she laughs out. “Oh… so you’re actually letting the sassy side out to play tonight, hm? This can be fun.”

“Or it’ll be a complete fucking disaster, either way. I’m here. So.. are we playin or not?” you hop up to sit on the counter. There’s a radio sitting beside you and mostly to combat the pop bullshit in the living room, you turn it on and flip through the stations until you find your preferred one. 

After a little tuning -and a giggly smack to the back of the radio, Steveie Nicks  just barely picks up and you hum along with Dreams as you work the heeled boot off of one of your feet with the other. It’s just now that Isla seems to notice your lack of a costume.

“This is a costume party. I thought you were the living embodiment of spooky, bitch?”

You shrug. And with a roll of your eyes, you brandish the stupid cat headband you’d picked up last minute at the general store in town. “I wasn’t planning on coming here but somebody insisted.” you drawl out, laughing. “And then, naturally, the asshole is late.”

Isla and Dot share a look and Layla fills them in. “Billy.”

Their eyes light up and you roll your eyes. “Oh no. Nope. Absolutely fuckin not, alright? Look. he’s my friend and all but I can tell you with absolute certainty that he is… Not lookin.”

They all pout in unison. Layla slips up onto the kitchen island to sit and Isla hops up onto the counter next to you. Dot grabs a dining chair and drags it over, turning it so the back of the chair is pushing up her tits because of course she is, she’s also wearing a low cut pirate dress.

“Okay, when we left off last weekend in Kasey’s treehouse, it was your turn.” Layla smirks at you as she makes grabby hands at the bottle of vodka. You take a few sips and grimace. The burn is dull, but every other sip or two it sneaks back around to surprise you. You can feel it working, you’re lightheaded. Lightheaded and you can’t stop laughing.

Or saying wildly inappropriate things, as you’re just about to find out.

“Okay,” Layla is glancing at you with a wicked gleam in her eyes, “Kill, Fuck Marry… Steve Harrington, Ben or…” she glances around and rubs her chin thoughtfully as her eyes settle on someone just outside the room. “Tommy Hagan.”

You scowl and flip her off, laughing.

“Oh god.. Ben’s dead. And I’m reversing the damn car to make sure he doesn’t come back. Steve is.. Out entirely because honestly, he’s so…” you rub the bridge of your nose as you try to think of a word to fit the way you feel, your eyes brightening when you come up with the perfect one, “over-rated. Yeah.. yeah, that’s the word I’m lookin for.”

“You can’t–” Isla and Dot are about to argue that you can’t place one person into two categories but Layla shushes them. You don’t notice it, you’re swinging your bare legs against the cabinet below the counter you sit atop as you stare at the red polish on your toes, but Layla nods to Tommy, who just happens to be standing right outside the kitchen with an almost comical look of shock and awe on his face, at least a little invested with this little game of hypotheticals.

After all, how can he not be? His name was mentioned.

He’s hanging around because his name is the only one left. And the realization that this means for once, he’s been chosen.. Noticed.

And the fact that it’s you, well..

The poor guy is struggling heavily inside himself right now. But he’s listening because he just needs to hear you say it. There has to be a reason.

“We’re waiting.” Layla clears her throat.

You shotgun a generous sip from the bottle in your hand and pass it to Isla when she nudges you and nods to it. You burp and then you laugh, a snort coming that makes your three friends double over.

“Wait, whoa.. Let me get this right.. You can pick between Steve Harrington and Tommy Hagan and you’re picking.. Him..” Isla wrinkles her nose as it sinks in. “Okay, I’ll bite. Why?” she hands the bottle back to you. Dot reaches for it and you lean out and nearly faceplant the damned kitchen floor in the process and you would have if Isla hadn’t grabbed you by the arm to pull you back. You’re laughing as you lean your head back against the cabinet behind you. “Y-you asked for it.”

“Well?” Layla taps her wrist and she’s barely hiding a smirk. Tommy is frozen in the doorway, watching you like a hawk. Like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you before and he’s absolutely fucking… smitten. And Layla knows he’s standing there, she could easily tell you he’s standing there but honestly, she’s figured out a long time ago that you might or might not have just the teeniest crush on the guy. And she knows you’ll never say it without a little push. And a lot of liquid courage.

“Ugh, fiiine.” you raise the bottle to your lips. When the radio at your side starts playing Careless Whisper, you glare at it and flip it off. “Ew, fuck.” you grumble.

You’re stalling, of course.

“First of all,” you speak up after things have settled down a little. “Carol Perkins was fuckin lucky to have him, okay? Lucky. All the shit he put up with outta her and he protected her and stood up for her? Marriage material, bitches. Like seriously, just ugh…. Watching him stand up to somebody for her used to get me so damn hot. He deserves better, y’know. I mean, shiiiit.. Anybody is better than Carol no tits to speak of  Perkins…” you turn the cat ears over in your hand thoughtfully. Then after a second or two, you slip it onto your head. Crooked, but of course it is.

You’re laughing again, that same dreamlike look on your own face that you were taunting Layla for when it came to Billy Hargrove earlier. You sigh. “As far as the fuck verdict. Listen, if I’m going to..” you’re hiccupping and as you do it, you frown at yourself and a hand raises to your lips as if to stop the soft sounds. You’re not a drinker, not by any stretch.

Outside the kitchen, Billy’s noticed Tommy lingering. Watching you. He smirks to himself. He’d known it the second he got to know you somehow. Tommy Hagan would absolutely eat up the whole cute and quiet little thing you normally have going on. And when he got to really know you and realized that you have this sass, this fire that you keep hidden… Oh god.

It was the whole reason he dragged Tommy out to this party. Well, that and the fact that Tommy had to come into the class you have with Billy earlier in the afternoon before he asked you to come and when Tommy walked in, Billy couldn’t help but notice the goofy little smile. Or the way you were flushed and flustered to a point where you dropped your pen at least three damn times while staring and trying to make it seem as if you weren’t.

Oh and, he’d also noticed Tommy doing his own fair bit of sharing when you weren’t looking, when you had your nose buried in the magazine you’d stashed inside your textbook while you pretended to pay attention.

This needed to happen.

So when he hears the topic being discussed, he can’t help but chuckle and nudge Tommy. “I’m gonna go make my rounds, Hagan. Kegstands later, right?”

Tommy nods.

Fixes his focus back on you. Waiting. His heart is beating so loud he can feel and hear it in his ears.

And inside the kitchen, you speak up, digging the hole for yourself even deeper when you do it.

“Have you seen his hands? Y’know what they say about a boy with big hands or big feet…” you’re especially giggly at the thought, your skin burning hot all over, but you’re only going to keep talking. Keep digging yourself down deeper into a hole you don’t even realize you’re digging yourself currently. “All I’m saying is if I’m actually going to give up my virginity, I wanna be with somebody who knows what the fuck he’s doing. I just.. Look, you three can stop fuckin lookin at me like that, “ you pout, your voice a soft and lazy drawl because the combination of the alcohol coursing your system at the moment and just the… Thought.. Of the things you’d let Tommy Hagan do to you that you’ve kept hidden all this time, well.

You’re in a daze.

“I’m not like you, damn it. I can’t just hop in a backseat and just get it over with. I kinda..” you’re fidgeting with the sleeve of the flannel shirt you were wearing over the thin little dress you’d thrown on to wear for the night, “I want it to mean something and like.. I’ve liked him forever now, oh my god. The short answer here is Tommy fucking Hagan can absolutely wreck me, alright? Just.. yes.. Yes..” 

“Wait..” Isla gazes at you. “Was he?” she trails off, shaking her head. A little stunned because for some strange reason, she’d had the feeling it was somebody else entirely. 

Dot laughs and asks quietly, “So the guy you wrote all that stuff about for creative writing. The little shorts and the poems that had the goddamn teacher so flushed she couldn’t even read it out loud like she said she planned on doing to all of us last year…” Dot swings her feet and reaches out for the bottle as The Chain comes on the radio and you start to sing along, sighing as you shrug. “Yeah. They were about him, alright? Don’t start your shit with me, damn it. I know it’s stupid and I know I’m a sap. I don’t care.” you take the bottle back from Dot, leaning out too far again and laughing about it through a wild mess of hair as it swings down in front of you, your palms flat against the countertop to catch yourself.

When you sit back up and at least make an attempt to do something with your hair and the headband, you’re still hiccupping, laughing and your hand raises to your mouth.

“She’s soooo fucking drunk right now.” Layla laughs when she says it, giving you a little grimace.

“Girl? Are you gonna be okay?” Dot asks, snickering quietly.

“Oh sweetie.” Isla winces as she thinks about the headache you’re going to have in the morning and slips an arm around your shoulders to pull you into her side, “Your hair is gonna hurt. That’s how bad your hangover is gonna be.”

Your eyes widen, you’re starting to realize that you are well beyond the level of tipsy you set out for and you are now blitzed. Blitzed as in you’re suddenly not entirely sure if you’re walking out of the party later or you’ll wind up finding some way to con your older brother’s best friend Billy to carry you.

Layla clears her throat. “I’m going for a smoke.”

“Me too.” Dot and Isla chorus. You almost say you’ll go too because shit, why not… you’re trying out the drinking and the stupid cliche house party, the sneaking out of your house bullshit that nearly got your ass broken when you underestimated exactly how much weight the trellis by your window could hold safely.

You almost go bopping right outside with your three best friends, but.. You’re not about to try to get off the counter and fall straight down to the floor and kiss the tiles.

“The floor is lava?” you question, palming your face and leaning your head back against the cabinet behind it as Layla, Dot and Isla leave the room. When the local pop station starts to dominate the airwaves and your chosen channel is nothing but a faint ghost in the background, you scowl at the radio and reach out, snatching the cord from the plug in.

Billy makes his way in. His brow raised at you. “Are you drunk right now, pint size?” he’s barely hiding laughter in the teasing accusatory tone he takes. You’re laughing to yourself and you hold a finger up to your lips. “Shhhhhhhhh!” you look around as if any second, somebody will pop out and you’ll be in trouble for drinking.

Billy plugs the radio back in but you glare at him. You shake your head. “Too loud.”

He chuckles to himself. “Why are you sitting on the counter when there are chairs, hm?”

“The floor is lava. It’s lava, Billy.”

“The floor is lava.” Billy’s trying not to howl in laughter and in effort to hold back, he’s nearly shaking.

Sweet Caroline comes on the radio and if Billy only suspected you were totally off the tits drunk before, he gets his biggest confirmation when instead of ba ba ba you find it hilarious to yell out fuck fuck fuck.

Loud. Louder than he’s ever heard you be before. And this includes all the times he was present at your place when you’ve chased your older brother down while yelling at him about eating your ice cream or leaving the toilet seat up or using your fancy conditioner because he likes the way it makes his hair soft. Billy wasn’t entirely sure you possessed the  vocal range you’ve just demonstrated until now, truth be told. And that thought has him laughing. Grinning in amusement.

Tommy is going to eat this shit right up. Guy has a bit of a protector kind of bend to him and Billy knows with no doubt that he has to go through with his plan now.

“Jesus christ.” he rubs his forehead. Then he catches sight of the bottle of vodka sitting at your side and he yanks it away. “Give me that shit! No wonder you’re fuckin drunk. How in the hell did you find vodka?”

You reach up and tap the cabinet door while snickering. “Climbed my ass up and got it, duh.” you stick out your tongue.

“I can’t right now, I fucking can’t. I’m gonna.. Let me go find you a babysitter, alright?” Billy gazes at you in concern. You’re one of the few people aside from Tommy he actually considers a friend and given that your older brother is one of the few best friends he has in this pissant little town he’s been plopped into, he feels like it’s kind of his duty to look after you.

It’s a task he’s about to relegate to Hagan’s quietly lurking ass. Because you’ve just gift wrapped yourself with a shiny red bow and suddenly, Billy Hargrove knows exactly how he’ll go about casually nudging you and Tommy Hagan together.

“Hagan! Yo! Tommy! C’mere, man!” Billy’s whistle draws Tommy out of hiding where he’d been sitting in the hallway just replaying your confession over and over again because his brain wouldn’t let him let go of it.

Tommy can’t help but laugh when he sees you, swinging bare feet off the edge of the counter and the cat ears perched on your head are crooked, sagging as if at any second they’ll just fall right off. 

“Yeah?” he finally manages to say something but he can’t stop staring at you and he hasn’t yet.

“Pint size says the floor is lava and she won’t get down, buddy.” Billy nods to your perch on the counter. Tommy drags a hand over his hair. When you hiccup a few times and you start giggling, Tommy feels a smile start to creep to his lips. It’s something he hasn’t really done a lot lately.

“The floor is lava, huh?” Tommy eyes you in concern. Swallowing hard when you’re staring right back at him. Everything you said about him comes rushing back and he tries to pull himself together. But he knows beyond all doubt that tonight only ends one way. He’s determined to get closer to you. Actually get to know you.

Because somehow, he knows that he’s fucked. If he tries to ignore what he knows it’s just going to keep popping up. And hearing you say everything you did earlier, everything he’s always wanted to hear, it’s just… He can’t just let you -or whatever this could turn into, slip through his fingers.

For as mouthy and vocal as you were when it was just you and the girls a few minutes before, you’ve clammed up again. It always happens around him and you feel like maybe it comes out as you being indifferent to him when the truth is, the way he makes you feel overwhelms you most of the time.

You manage a nod though, and Billy clears his throat. “ You’ve got this, right, Hagan?”

Tommy laughs quietly. “Yeah.”

“Awesome. I told some of the guys I’d go pick up some more alcohol. While I”m out I’ll find that one’s brother and let ‘im know he's gotta pick up his car.. Got it?” Billy is firm when he says it but Tommy agrees with no hesitation and then Billy is  gone in the blink of an eye and this leaves you in the kitchen of Tina’s parents house all alone with Tommy.

“C’mere.” Tommy steps closer. Your heart does that stupid lazy little flip. The one you always get annoyed with yourself over when it happens. Your filter is gone right now though, so when he beckons you closer, you lean in. Against him a little because you don’t trust your sense of balance and the room is spinning all around you.

“You’re not a drinker, huh?” Tommy questions.

You shake your head. Laughter bubbling out. You’re not sure what to do with your hands and he’s so fucking close to you that for some odd reason, the idea that comes first is to grab hold of the front of the dingy white tank top he’s wearing and just kind of melt against him. “Too much potato juice.” your voice is muffled and soft and Tommy barely manages to make out what you’ve said but then he spots the half empty bottle of vodka you’ve been slamming most of the night that Billy put out of your reach on the space between the top cabinets and the ceiling and he grimaces.

“Ouch. Yeah, that’ll hurt in the morning, princess.” Tommy’s staring again. First your eyes but then his gaze shifts down. Settles on your lips. They look so fucking soft. And you smell like apples and cinnamon candy, the realization comes when he finally just can’t fucking take it anymore and winds up putting his nose against the top of your head. The tension in the taller boy’s frame just kind of melts away, all the anger and the stress he’s been carrying around because Steve’s awol lately and then Carol decided to abandon ship too, it all just kind of  vanishes.

Your legs wind up around his waist and you breathe in deep. Because he smells like cologne and cigarettes, the cheap beer he’s been nursing all night and for some reason, fresh mown grass. It’s a combination that’s odd and somehow, it’s relaxing. “Oh man,” you hiccup out as you take a deep breath or two, “I-I’m g-gonna be i-in s-serious shit, for sure. Deeeep shit.”

Tommy gingerly grips your chin to make you look up at him. “Yeah?” he questions softly. “Why’s that, hm?”

Your hand goes to your mouth and you giggle. He reaches up to lower your hand and you answer, explaining that not only have you never really been a big drinker, you also snuck out of your parents house tonight to even come to this stupid party. And then Tommy realizes that when Billy tore off earlier it's because Billy had a plan in mind. You tell him that Billy conned him into coming to the stupid party in the first place.

At first, Tommy’s a little jealous. But then he thinks about the whole ‘other fish’ speech in the car on the way over. Billy’s not the most subtle. He kind of hinted around about you at one point, bringing up the fact that he caught you staring when he had to come into the class you’re in with Billy earlier in the day to get something he’d left in Billy’s Camaro.

And it hits him. Billy dragged him out to the party tonight because the shithead was going to play cupid. Or try to. And Tommy’s laughing to himself because it’s in that moment, something clicks  for him further.

Billy, a Camaro driving badass that everybody’s scared shitless to cross.. Billy actually does really consider him a friend. He’s not just a sidekick.

He’s not a sidekick and he was chosen. Noticed by a girl. You didn’t notice Billy or Steve, you noticed him. You wanted him. And Billy actually valued his friendship because Billy tended to keep a distance and not get personally involved in other people’s shit otherwise, he knew Billy Hargrove well enough at this point to know that. And yet, Tommy thinks with a genuine smile, he’s getting involved right now.

The shock of it all fades away and he locks eyes with you. “You wanna come outside with me?”

You nod quietly. “Not s’ sure I’m gonna be the best walker..” you give this cute little sheepish shrug when you say it. He laughs and shrugs too. “I gotcha.” he scoops you up to carry you out the back door and your arms wind up around his neck and you’re laughing because you can’t stop thinking about what you admitted to your friends during your little stupid game earlier.

Parts of you are tempted to just let it all slip out but the other parts of you, the parts of you that know better and know it’ll be a disaster, they override the overwhelming urge, thankfully.

You’re just kind of quiet, kind of content to take what you can get -fully aware that you’ll pretend this went further than it did later on when you’re all alone. The thought elicits a soft purr that tickles this one spot on Tommy’s neck that’s the quickest way to drive him crazy.

He has to tighten his grip because when he hears -and feels, the sound, it’s all he can do not to drop you because it goes straight to his cock. And the inner turmoil grows. Because now, he’s not only dealing with whether to sit on what he’s overheard or bring it up somehow but in addition, he’s dealing with the fact that it’s been quite a dry spell, this is the longest he’s gone without some kind of physical affection, even if it’s just a heated kiss to shut his former girlfriend the hell up.

So every little noise, every little shift your body makes against his, all of it… It’s really driving him crazy right now. He’s real riled up but… He’s determined to behave himself.

This needs time. You’re not in the shape right now and Tommy’s honestly just enjoying the night for what it’s turned into for once. He hasn’t felt this happy in a really long time.

Since 7th grade when Carol just sort of drifted into his life and Steve stood up for him with some asshole in their class who constantly tormented him about any number of things, from his teeth, to his freckles or the way he dressed back then.

He’s forgotten what it feels like and now that he’s being reminded, he just isn’t in a hurry for the feeling to end.

He digs around in the pocket of his jeans to retrieve a lighter and you’re clinging to him. “I’ve gotta be getting heavy to hold.” you gaze at him in concern and Tommy’s brow raises. “Are you kiddin me?”

“Well, I mean..” you laugh softly. “I’m not a feather, y’know.”

“You’re not a cow either, holy shit.” Tommy laughs and the laughter dies away. You don’t feel right clinging to him the way you are or making him hold you so you slip out of his arms. Tommy pouts a little to himself, the pout fading when you compromise by leaning against him. He lights his cigarette and takes a long drag. “Hey..” he nods to a lounge chair on the deck, “C’mon. Let’s get you sitting. Pretty sure everything is spinnin right now, huh?”

You giggle. Hold up your fingers and drawl that it is.

He situates himself in the lounge chair and pulls you down so that you’re sitting between his legs. You lean yourself back against him and before he can stop himself, an arm is slipping around your waist. He tells himself it’s just so your ex boyfriend will fuck off and leave you alone tonight, because he happens to be lurking outside and watching the two of you intently, 

But deep down he knows that isn’t the only reason.

You spot a cluster of stars. And you glance back at him. “I think that’s Cassiopeia.”

Tommy’s blank look prompts an explanation and about halfway through, you feel like maybe you’re boring him to death because you have to be, this isn’t gossip and that’s what he’s used to because he’s one of them, after all. You trail off and go quiet.

Tommy leans into you a little from behind. “What were you gonna say?”

You finish telling him about Cassiopeia and the way she was elevated to the sky along with Cephus and Princess Andromeda as a star but her punishment for boasting came in the form of embarrassment, she was forced to wheel around the North celestial pole and spend half her time clinging to her throne just so she doesn’t fall off.

Tommy chuckles quietly. “There’s uh.. One problem, princess. We’re probably a little too far away from the North celestial Pole for that to be Cassiopeia.” he tries not to but he winds up resting his chin on your shoulder and you laugh softly. “You’re probably right.”

The wind picks up a little and he rubs your arms. “Cold?” he asks the question with a laugh.

“Kinda. But it’s okay.” your teeth are chattering. His jacket winds up around your shoulders and despite telling himself not to do it, he winds up positioning himself even closer so that his chest is pressed completely against his back and both of his legs cage in both of yours on the side. You gulp and when you take a few deep breaths after, they all come out shaky.

You huddle into the jacket over your shoulders for warmth and all you can smell is Tommy. All the little things that make up his scent have you smiling like an idiot. And the warmth of the jacket, you make yourself laugh quietly when you have the thought that he’s an actual human furnace.

Across the patio, Ben is watching. Seething and fuming.

Furious because you barely let him touch you and yet you’re sharing a lounge chair with that idiot Tommy Hagan. Carol notices his attention’s drifted from her and when she happens to glance over to see why, she’s flooded with hurt and jealousy.

And anger because how dare him. He wasn’t supposed to get over her like this. It’s only been a few weeks.

Tommy happens to glance up just in time to catch both Ben and Carol watching you both and he tenses. Grumbles to himself about it quietly but decides right then and there that he’s not worried about either of them. If Ben wants to try something, he’ll start and finish whatever Ben attempts. 

Tommy isn’t the only one whose noticed the latest happy couple of Hawkins High as their gazes burn into the two of you.

“What the hell are no tits and no brains lookin at right now?” you mutter mostly to yourself. Maybe it’s the vodka or something else that leads you to do it, but you stare right back at Carol, sticking out your tongue as you roll your eyes. 

“Take a picture, holy shit.” you grumble and this makes Tommy laugh. Then he remembers that Carol used to tease you a lot when you were all kids. And he cringes at the mental replay because thinking about it now, it’s clear to him that she had to have been doing it because she was jealous, same as when she constantly gave Nancy hell last year when Steve started dating her.

When Tommy catches Ben glaring at him all he does is raise his middle finger. Unlike you, he’s loud. With a razor sharp tongue and sarcasm that knows no bounds. And he’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind.

“Keep lookin over here, Thompson. It’ll be your last fuckin mistake.” Tommy calls out to Ben.

“Have fun with your downgrade, Tommy.” Carol cozies up to Ben and smirks. Tommy is hurt a little, it does sting because you don’t just spend the largest part of your life with somebody and suddenly you can just turn off everything you felt at once, but.. The anger he  feels at her comment overshadows it briefly and he comes to the realization that Carol Perkins has always been this exact brand of miserable bitch.

And he’s starting to see that maybe he was getting tired of the misery and the fighting or the way that the only time they seemed to click was whenever they were making everyone around them miserable too. This leads to his final realization.

While Steve missed his point about Nancy Wheeler entirely, Steve hadn’t been wrong to say some of the shit he said to the two of them the last time they spoke. And he knows it’s gotta be tense for Billy because they were slowly starting to be friends and then the fight happened and the rift started. They’re all on the same basketball team and this rift has definitely caused chaos in the dynamic on the court.

Maybe if he was ready to cut ties and move on, maybe he needed to try. To offer some kind of olive branch to Steve, at least tell the guy he was right, that he had been an asshole.

He decides that he’ll go over to Steve’s in the morning and he’ll try to talk to him. In honor of turning over what he hopes will be a new leaf.

You decide to turn so that you’re facing Tommy and when you do, this causes you to put your legs over his thighs with your feet dangling off the chair. Tommy’s eyes catch on your lips again. He licks his lips and you swallow hard, your eyes following the way his tongue drags over his lips. 

When you blurt it out before you can stop yourself, you want to disappear, melt away through the the patio straight into another dimension never to return.

“You uh.. You have really pretty eyes.” you mumble quietly, your gaze settling on the way your bare legs top Tommy’s jean clad thighs. Tommy swallows hard and chuckles. And there’s this little rush, the slightest lazy flutter in the pit of his stomach.

“You do too.” he answers after taking another drag of the cigarette he’s nearly smoked to the butt end. He flicks the cigarette at a bucket nearby full of glass bottles, ice cream wrappers, other food wrappers and a few other cigarette butts.

Then he turns his attention back to you.

Across the way a little, Ben and Carol are both fuming about their respective losses. Carol smirks to herself as she decides that if she can’t have Tommy some little nobody like you is getting him either. She fully intends to make your life a living hell from Monday onward.

Maybe if she pushes hard enough, you’ll back off and Tommy won’t move on, leaving her behind.

And Ben agrees to go along with it simply because he’s an asshole and he genuinely can’t stand Tommy Hagan.

Billy arrives back at the party with an armload of beer that he dragged your older brother out of bed to get and you cringe when you ask, “So.. uh.. How much trouble am I in?”

“You’re good, pint size.” Billy shrugs and grins.

You raise a brow. Billy laughs. “Relax, woman. Just fucking like.. Enjoy tonight.”

You nod.

Tommy takes one of the cans for himself and gets one of the other guys on their team who’s heading back inside to see if Tina’s still got Sprite or something in the house.

“My girl’s kind of toasted, buddy.” Tommy explains to Eric with a chuckle. Eric gives him a thumbs up and glances from you back to Tommy. “Your girl, huh?” Eric chuckles again. “Sprite. Comin up, man.”

You blink a little but you don’t try to correct Tommy when he says it because deep down, you wish it was true.

Eric comes back out a minute or two later and he tosses the Sprite to Tommy. Tommy pulls the tab and hands it to you. “I don’t think you need to mix vodka with this shit, " he holds up the beer he's drinking and continues, "princess. Hangover’s already gonna be hell tomorrow, I think.”

Billy winces but he laughs. “And I’m going to come over bright and early just to be loud.”

“You, sir, are a dick.” you pout and stick your tongue out at Billy.

Billy shrugs. But he laughs. “Nah.”

You stick out your tongue at him.

Tommy chuckles quietly.

“I’m gonna talk to Harrington tomorrow. Try to clear the air, man. We’ve got that big practice game next week.”

Billy nurses the beer in his hand and nods. “Yep. We all need to be on the same page, Hagan. Guy needs to get his head in the game. So do you. But I think you’re gonna be okay… Right?”

Tommy laughs and nods in agreement.

Billy chuckles. “It’s about damn time, Hagan.” he tosses him another cold one after Tommy’s crushed the can of the one he’s just finished in his hand. “Chug, Hagan.”

Tommy laughs, but he starts to chug down the beer Billy’s just given him.

The party is coming to a quiet conclusion inside. Billy stands and stretches, giving a lazy yawn. “I think this party is dead now.”

“Totally dead.” Tommy agrees and all you do is yawn sleepily and give a thumbs up. Tommy snickers and then his gaze settles on you. Billy speaks up. “Pint size… You comin with us or what?”

“The car.” you start to speak up and remind Billy that you did drive your Mustang to the party tonight, but Billy shakes his head, shutting it down with a shrug.

“Your brother said he’d get it in the morning if there wasn’t a dependable DD to drive it. You realize you’re gonna owe him one though… Right?”

“Yeah.” you grumble about owing your brother one but you’re happy that he’s actually not going to rat you out to your mother because she’d have a small farm if she knew that you not only snuck out tonight to come in the first place, but you were also too drunk to really function for most of the night.

And the lecture you’d get, oh my god.

Tommy stands and this puts you wrapped around him. His arms caged underneath your ass and he’s holding onto you nice and tight so he doesn’t drop you. “I got the back seat, man.”

“Neither of you were gettin shotgun anyway.” Billy states, glancing from Tommy to you as he holds up the half of the case he’s got left. “Where else am I sittin my drinks, hm?”

Tommy laughs. The three of you make your way out to Billy’s Camaro and as it pulls to a stop a few houses down from your house, Tommy slips out and holds out his hand. “C’mon. I’ll help you get in.”

“Y-you don’t have to.”

“I want to though.” he insists. You can only nod and let him grab your hand and pull you out of the backseat. Then you’re being carried again, deposited on the steps by the back door.

Tommy’s hesitant to leave, so he’s lingering. Stepping closer to you as he leans in and one of his hands catches in the hair at the back of your head. Your noses bump clumsily and you both laugh. The kiss is sweet but awkward, your hand gripping the front of his shirt as you raise up onto your toes to close the distance between your mouths. When your brother finally drags himself down to open the door, he chuckles and sizes Tommy up.

As you’re about to disappear into your house, Tommy runs back up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he wants to kick himself because he meant to ask you if you wanted to do something the next day. Not tell you he’d see you. “Fuck.” he grumbles, annoyed with himself. “I meant to ask if you wanted to go to the Hawk with me tomorrow night. That uh.. The Terminator is playing, I think.” and again, he wants to kick himself because this is not something he’s used to at all. He laughs. “Or we can see something different.”

You giggle. Raise up to tiptoe to brush your lips against his as you place your hand against his shirt. “The Terminator is fine… Rambo.” you give him a little wink before vanishing into your parents house because you just can’t resist the urge.

Tommy grins like an idiot and as he bolts back down to Billy’s idling Camaro, he pumps his fist in victory.

Billy’s laughing as he watches Tommy race towards him. The Camaro speeds off and Billy smirks when he glances over at Tommy out of the corner of his eye as he drives away and casually repeats what he told him hours ago when they were sitting at the curb outside Tina’s party. “I told you, man. Plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Tommy chuckles. “Yeah, okay. Yeah you did.”

#tommy hagan #tommy hagan fanfiction #tommy hagan x fem!reader #tommy hagan imagine #tommy hagan oneshot #tommy hagan x fem!reader imagine #// if i go beyond part 1 there is going to be so much steve/tommy/billy friendship and shenanigans i s2g #// bc lowkey i kinda liked any of the three with each other #// but to write it oh god. i'd never fucking do it justice bc just trust me. #// so yeah. #// this is out there now. #// idk if there will be more or not. i left room to add if i choose. #// i just had to give my two babies ... something. #// so why not indulge everyone else too hm? #// so if you've been looking for an x reader thing with Tommy H... here ya go i guess.

[mishkakagehishka]

Not siding with enstars-gatekeeper, but I do see the point they're trying to make tbh. Nobody likes ooc stuff in any fandom community really and it is sad that like enstars-gatekeeper said that writers will get spam hate on their work for being ooc (it's more ao3 they were referring to I think as haven't seen it much on tumblr) and that's why fanfic writing is scary for some ig?

Again, I'm not siding with enstars-gatekeeper ofc but I agree with what they said about other communities acting that way towards writers but I certainly don't want Enstars to go down that way (honestly I thought there'd be more like gatekeeper with the likes of ES! not having an official English translation and how most lore apparently is shown in those stories, wouldn't know though as I've never read any).

What I never get though is why readers like that exist? Like isn't fanfiction supposed to be self indulgent and about having fun, not trying to basically extend what there is of canon content? Is it even possible to be 100% true to canon when writing considering fic writers aren't the creators of the source material?

I've been wanting to write fics myself but all the fandoms I'm in are like that and hate ooc fics. My main fixation is Enstars anyway and even tho I've been playing a while now, because I haven't read ES! I'm scared that I don't fully understand the characters now cause with the way some people,like gatekeeper, go on about it I'm under the impression that anything in ES!! isn't as accurate or I mean maybe as informative as ES! stories are and that I'd get a while new character basically if I read ES! (Its probably not that drastic but everyone is acting like it is so yeah)

Sorry if I'm venting by the way, seeing people like gatekeeper just annoy me as I wish no community had those "fans" 😅

Annoyance with OOC is understandable, but. Well. Exit the fic if it annoys you, you know? Out of all the (actually!) gross things that happens with fancreators, sending someone anon hate for writing smth OOC or writing a serial killer AU is just lame imo

That person said they wish more writers got anon hate for writing OOC, which is horrible, btw. Idc, if you wanna send someone abuse because they just misunderstood a character, that's loser behaviour. It's pathetic and it makes you a bully.

But you're right, as a fanfic writer, nothing I write will come close to canon-compliant. I can imitate canon and guesstimate what could be canon, but purely on account of "I don't work at happyele", everything I write today that "makes sense" could be contradicted by a future event. Hell, when this shuffle event comes out, they could reveal smth ab Shu that I never thought ab and that would render all my fics about him "OOC", that's just how it works with writing for ongoing media. It's why I don't like writing for ongoing media, but, alas, enstars is probably gonna outlive me at this point.

And yeah, fanfic is supposed to just be self-indulgent fun. Of course I believe certain topics should not be written about in fanfiction, especially if they're written in a romanticised way or a way meant to make certain immoral behaviour acceptable (as an example: the difference between writing yandere as horror vs as something romantic), but. Writing a character as OOC is just such a mild "misdemeanor". I don't like it, giving new fans and new writers grief over it.

I hope you'll feel comfortable to write in the future, I love seeing new writers and creators in general, especially considering the enstars fandom is small on tumblr. It really is just gatekeeper who's throwing us off tbh. ! is only "better" bc it's larger, it ran, like, 5 years or so? And !! has been running for 2, so it has a lot more content, yes, but I don't think it's that bad. The characters changed and evolved (a joy of enstars), and writing a character based on their ! characterisation would still end up as OOC unless you're writing them in the ! setting. Writing a character in the !! as you know them in !! should be fine, I believe. Like, ! might be good info to have for the subtleties, but most of what I know from ! are things I never explicitly mention, just weave through their characterisation. Making a character like Mika avoid eye contact when nervous isn't a big deal at all - but it's my way of saying, "It's hard to get rid of old habits, especially of ones so ingrained in a person. Even if he's learning to love himself, he still kept the habit of hiding the eyes he grew up hating when he feels threatened".

At the end of the day, fandom drama is childish. Fandom drama that starts because someone hates "OOC fics" (of all the things) is even more childish. It's really not hard to exit a fic you don't like. It's more effort to type up hate for it.

#man idk #it's just discouraging - i don't care for what people think of my writing if it's negative #but young writers will not have the confidence that more experienced ones have #bc i've been writing for years - literally years - and i already know #i don't even notice anymore the notes i get on my writing. i release it and it stops existing until someone comments on it #but new writers will be more fragile and. i just feel bad #bc this is a hobby that gives me so much happiness and joy and i don't want someone who #would also derive joy from writing to be bullied into dropping it. #asks

[killian-whump]

I’m sorry if I bother you, I’ve come for advice since I think you’ve dealed with this kind of stuff before. Since I was 11 years old I’ve been a fan of a cartoon character. He’s been my comfort character all my life. Back in the early 2000’s I had a fan page devoted to him. I attended a few cons where I met his Voice Actor and this character has been a very important part of my life. (1/6)

When I turned 21 I had a little picture of him tattoed in my arm. Few years ago I got a Twitter account for this character (since I don’t have the fan page anymore). All this time I’ve been posting pictures, quotes, little videos, merchandising, etc. I don’t interact with people or anything, I just post my stuff and continue with my life. I had around 1200 followers. (2/6)

About 10 days ago I noticed I had lost like 200 followers overnight. I thought it was strange but I didn’t really care because I’m not the kind of person who counts followers. Then I started to get hate messages, basically telling me that because I’m an adult, maintaining a Twitter account for a cartoon character was weird and it means I’m a pedophile. (3/6)

I’ve never talked to anyone, I guess they figured out I’m an adult since I always post stuff from the 90’s and all, but my account is clean and there’s nothing there to make anyone think I’m a creep or anything. Thing is, they have been attacking me for more than a week, I’ve lost almost 700 followers and I honestly don’t know what’s going on, where did this come from or what’s happening. (4/6)

The person I think started everything (because she’s the most vocal insulting me) is a teenager Egyptian-American girl I don’t even know. For now I’ve been ignoring everything, not a single comment, not a reply, just acting as if I hadn’t even noticed what’s going on. But it’s stressing me. I’ve thought about closing my account but I love it and also, I did nothing wrong and I don’t want to act guilty. (5/6)

Also, I don’t want to interact with teenagers or discuss with them. At this point I don’t know what to do and I’m very sad. My only “mistake” there is being an adult… but this cartoon character has been my comfort character since I was 11. How do you deal with stuff like this, with the haters and all? Any advice? Thank you so much! – The Cartoon Girl (6/6)

Hi Cartoon Girl ❤️ Let me first give you some hugs and tell you how very sorry I am that you're going through this. You're being bullied, and that's a terrible thing to go through no matter what age you are or what "reasons" the bullies have for picking on you.

As for your age... There's no age limit on fandom. And there's no age limit on cartoons. I've been a life-long fan of cartoons, and one of my favorite characters ever is Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. For that matter, there's no age limit on loving children's media in general. I'm a big ol' Muppets fangirl, and I adore Sesame Street and all of the characters on it. I'm also a lover of picture books! I've liked cartoons and children's media for the first 40+ years of my life - I expect I'll continue liking 'em for the next 40+ as well 🙂

Ultimately, beyond the "growing pains" of childhood, puberty, and the teenage years, people don't really change all that much as they grow older. I'd say by about 20 or so, your core personality is mostly set. If you like playing video games or watching cartoons or reading comic books... Well, you're probably still going to enjoy those things at 30 and at 40 and at 50... and beyond. And I think most people past their 20s understand that, because they've seen it happen with themselves.

But younger people often live under this delusion that one day they'll magically "grow up" and cast aside their child-like interests and traits and become old. They'll suddenly live for cooking and cleaning and child-rearing, and they'll thrive in a 9-5 work environment of water cooler conversations and golf on the weekends. That doesn't happen. It's a fantasy. Nobody ever "grows up" that way. We just add candles on our birthday cakes and become fatter and grayer versions of the same person we were last year.

So I absolutely understand the frustrations of being an older person in fandom - hell, being an older person in general. Young people are almost like a different species at times, because they take everything so seriously but they understand so little about how life actually works. And, of course, you can't tell them this, because they're certain they know everything and old people could never understand them - despite the fact that every single one of us was young once and understands all too well just how ignorant and terrified we were then.

It's that ignorance and fear that drives a lot of the "hate" towards older people online and/or in fandom. Seeing older people who haven't "grown up" and grown out of "childish" interests like cartoons or video games goes against that magical belief that one day they too will "grow up" and become a thriving, successful adult. It means either there's something "wrong" with that adult online who's actively participating in "young people" activities... or maybe there isn't a magical "growing up" phenomenon and they're going to have to try to acclimate to "adult life" as the person they already are.

At any rate, that's no excuse for the kind of bullying you're experiencing. It sounds to me like someone is spearheading a targeted hate campaign against you specifically and claiming you're a predator. That goes FAR beyond the usual age-related fandom squabbles and generational drama. Unfortunately, there's not much I can say or do to help you with this situation. Bullies do what they do because they like doing it. Their actions make them feel powerful and in control; they beat down others to ease their own anxieties and avoid having to deal with their own weaknesses and troubles. You really can't reason with a bully, because their motivations are far deeper and much more twisted than most people can understand. All you can do is avoid them and ignore them.

Easier said than done, I know. Especially as the number of bullies seems to grow every year and the Internet gives them a particularly fertile playground to wreak havoc and multiply in.

The best way to avoid age-related bullying in fandom is to be 100% up front about your age. Post it clearly in your bio/about section (if you have one) and make no effort to hide it. I understand the impulse to avoid the topic and just "blend in" with everybody else - but that rarely ever works. AND it's the same tactic predators DO use when they try to blend in with younger people to seek out prey. To some extent, it's healthy for young people to be leery of older people in fandom spaces who aren't upfront about their age.

Being up front about your age is especially important in younger fandoms/areas where young people are more common. Will being open about your age decrease the pool of folks willing to interact with you? Undoubtedly yes - but every one of those people who won't interact with you due to your age would be uncomfortable if they had been interacting with you and then found out your age. You're not losing a follower/friend, you're just helping people who wouldn't want to interact with you KNOW not to interact with you.

In that sense, you really can't worry about the followers you've lost. If they followed you believing you're a young person and they UNfollow when they find out you're not - Well, those are people who shouldn't have clicked the "follow" button in the first place, and likely wouldn't have if you'd had your age publicly posted on your profile in plain sight. In other words, you can't lose a friend you never had. And if they don't even know how old you are and/or refuse to interact at all with people your age... Well, then they ain't no friend of yours. No harm, no foul - let 'em leave.

As for your account... There's settings you can make on Twitter to limit who can interact with your tweets. I'd make good use of them and shut down avenues of interaction that aren't necessary for how you use your account. Shut off replies. Shut off DMs. If you're not interacting with people anyway, this shouldn't really affect how you use the site. Liberally block anyone sending you hate, and make a concerted effort NOT to look at anything they're posting. I know, that's hard to do, but responding to bullies is almost always NOT the best course of action. It only feeds them and stresses you.

Really, the best (only) way to deal with haters is to ultimately not give a fuck about them. Do whatever you like, whatever makes you happy... and fuck anybody who doesn't like it 🤷‍♀️ Of course, there's caveats to that - you can't just go around hurting other people or making it difficult for others to do what they like and find their own happiness... but as long as you're not doing that, well, fuck the haters. Let 'em stew in their own bile until they choke on it. I'm just assuming that last part is what happens to them, as I've never actually cared enough about a hater to check back with any of them. I just roll on in my "fuck the police" mobile and assume karma or gravity or Jesus will take care of them eventually 🤷‍♀️

If all else fails, post memes.

[voxofthevoid]

I posted 5,280 times in 2022

That's 2,627 more posts than 2021!

296 posts created (6%)

4,984 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@possibleplatypus

@joeys-piano

@thebookewyrme

@backwardshirt

@roughkiss

I tagged 1,071 of my posts in 2022

#the locked tomb - 152 posts

#i love my anons - 140 posts

#anon - 113 posts

#grimmichi - 40 posts

#my fic - 35 posts

#ask game - 32 posts

#bleach - 32 posts

#grimmjow jaegerjaquez - 27 posts

#fic of yours truly - 21 posts

#kurosaki ichigo - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i–and every writer i know on a personal level–am quite aware of the distinction between shit that's okay in life and shit that's fun in fic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“Stop groping my pulse. If you’re hungry, just eat.”

Grimmjow’s sleepy, extremely grumpy voice tears through the dreamy half-doze Ichigo was starting to sink into. The words themselves take a moment to coalesce into something meaningful.

When they do, he regrets everything.

“I’m not hungry,” he says into Grimmjow’s hair. “And I am not…”

Grimmjow shifts, and some of the shorter strands of his hair, slightly damp from his nightly shower and mussed to hell from Ichigo’s complete inability to resist a wet, half-naked Grimmjow, slides boldly into his nose.

He pulls back, sneezing violently, and almost misses what Grimmjow says.

“…just molesting my throat for fun? Pervert.”

“What the—I’m innocently cuddling you, not molesting your throat, and will you stop phrasing it like that, you degenerate asshole?” For good measure, Ichigo pulls back the hand that was spread loosely over the base of Grimmjow’s throat. And sure, his thumb was on the pulse, stroking idly, but he wasn’t groping anything.

“Why? It’s accurate.” Grimmjow, like the pissy cat he is, refuses to concede. “You never touch my dick like that.”

“For fuck’s sake, Grimmjow, if I went for your dick the way I do for your throat, you’d have bigger problems.”

“Promises,” the crazy bastard purrs.

86 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

“In point of fact that’s not actually Crown’s boyfriend, Nona, it’s her sister, but I don’t think anyone could blame you for getting confused.”

Thank you, Palamedes, for voicing what we've all been thinking

131 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

"At that point I wished I’d used the fucking conspiracy theorists instead of the cows. Nobody would’ve cared if I’d turned people inside-out who think vaccines have nanites in them that mine cryptocurrency."

Muir is changing me and my taste in fiction, particularly prose, at a fundamental level, and I don't think I will ever recover.

155 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#2

I don't know if I'll ever recover from "When I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine."

I mean

Holy shit.

290 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Being an extremely picky reader, I have a lot of sympathy for people who can't find the kind of fic they want to read, who don't resonate with many popular fanon, who have tastes that just aren't often addressed in most fic. The smaller the fandom, the worse off these woes, usually. What I don't give two shuddering shits about are the folks who make this the authors' problem.

Fanfic detractors love to say it's not real writing, but even putting aside the 101 ways that's total bullshit, the sheer act of writing takes time. At my fastest, I could write maximum 1200 words an hour; these days, it's closer to 500. Yet, you have so many writers churning out fic after fic, ranging from bite-sized bits to epic-length monstrosities. That's hours and hours of our lives. I set aside 2–3 hours a day for writing, and you can bet those add up fast.

So here you have these people creating scores of content for the hell of it, putting it up for free, and expecting damn near nothing in return. There are outliers, of course, but the general sentiment I've seen is that we don't want money, and we don't demand comments, though we appreciate the everloving shit out of them. At the core of it, writing fic is a labour of love, and fandom is a gift economy.

You know what's not a gift? Being a little shit in the comment/ask boxes of your local fandom writers.

It's fine, absolutely a-okay, spectacularly acceptable to not like or even viscerally hate any given character, trope, ship, or even specific fic. But listen, that's a you problem—and it doesn't have to be problem at all if you just click that pretty X and exit the story posthaste. The author won't even know you'd been there, and you're free to go wash out the taste of whatever fuckery made you nope out. If you're inclined toward writing yourself, you can even give the tried-and-true art of writing out of spite a go.

But, for the love of god, don't hop into the comment box and list all the ways in which the author could've made the story the one you wanted.

It's not your story. It's also clearly not for you. The writer wrote the story they wanted the way they wanted it. Leave it the fuck alone.

Some writers may ask for concrit; feel free to give it, provided you've nailed the constructive part of constructive criticism.

But their writing has typos and grammar errors: Shit happens, and we're not robots. Ignore it, or if you can't stand it, stop reading.

But it'd have been better if it was another ship/character/direction: That's your opinion, which will remain valid for only as long as it stays solely in your head. Again, stop reading. Exit quietly.

But the content is problematic: My brother in Christ, it was meant to be. We're not all pearl-clutching puritans. Stop reading things that upset you, especially if they're tagged!

Harassing authors won't get you the content you want. Nor, for that matter, will politely pestering them make them see the holy light of whatever crusade you're on. Most you'll manage is break the confidence of a fledgling writer or drive someone vulnerable out of fandom. And if that's your endgame, you're the kind of trash a handful of words from voxofthevoid.tungle.com can't change, so fuck you anyway.

Creativity begets more creativity. In every fandom I've written for, I started writing because, after a point, reading wasn't enough. I have specific tastes that don't always align with broader fandom tastes—for instance, I like out-and-proud sadists and writing my favs as tops/doms, whereas the predominant trends seem to favor the opposite. I also like very specific kinds of fuckery with my fluff, which are often hard to find. All that's fine. I have MS Word and the will to use it.

Granted, writing fic deliberately tailored to my tastes isn't the same as reading fic that's coincidentally tailored to my tastes, but that's fine too. I can be immeasurably grateful to the wonderful folks whose writing does strike a chord in me while also endeavouring to one day make someone say, "Damn, voxofthevoid, this is exactly the story I needed." That's what I want to give to fandom.

Others are free to think, "Yikes, voxofthevoid, you're fucked in the head," and be on their merry way; just don't make it my problem.

And if you, personally, don't have the time or inclination to be the porn fic you want to see in the world, there are other ways to encourage the kind of content you want to see. Participate in fandom exchanges. Seek out writers that take prompts or requests. Send positive encouragement (not rude demands) to the writers whose work you enjoy.

Don't throw a tantrum in the comment/ask box. It helps no one. It pisses off a lot of people. Nobody benefits.

Sincerely,

Someone who's very, very tired of seeing entitled shits make fandom a nightmare for everyone

2,430 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[seblaine-rph]

Do you have any recommendations for someone who wants to start a Glee D/s rp ( Thinking multiples with oc families as options)?

I do, actually. Before I say anything else, I do have to warn you that the grpc seems to have dried up. My rp does have a few people in it and we're very active, even moreso after the newest two players joined the crew, but everything else that's hit the tags in the last few years has been barked out to an audience of none. No matter how people promo, ask what people want, change things to suit opinions, pander to what people say they want, and bend over backwards while doing the splits, people don't join. @feudhq came to me before they opened to the public and asked me to do a full, private review. I did, we went over their main blog and their plots, they changed a few things, when they opened to the public I shouted them out and applied immediately, I even brought a friend with me to apply as well, and they still only got one other app before going radio silent. @hathawayhqs went through the same steps, got a few more people but none of them posted and before we knew it, it was just the admin and I on the dash with one other person. There was a bit of a revamp and the group reopened as an open fandom rp and nobody applied but me. @theseasontm is an oc rp that appears to run on the grpc format, which people have asked for specifically, and I don't see anyone applying to that at all; and it's even more relevant to you because it's got optional D/s themes and if people asked them to become a Glee multiples rp I bet they would. I've seen rps that go back to the golden days of the grpc like a Harry Potter/Glee crossover that was set post Battle of Hogwarts that was just a bunch of traveling wizards enjoying life. There have been a bunch of roadtrip and band touring Glee rps in the tags. A thousand open town rps, a plethora of canon redos of all seasons, show choir centered rps, D/s themed rps, au rps, crossover rps. And yet it looks to me like my rp is the only Glee rp still open, outside of Luxe (which I've heard is very unwelcoming, I know a few people that left because there is only one person in the whole rp that replies to new people and it's just a bunch of bubble rping) and What If (which is a very unwelcoming place that is infamously known for being the home of a clique of bullies that terrorize people into leaving the whole grpc and isn't active anyway).

I think that the lack of activity in the grpc is because we no longer have a sense of community. We used to. People used to have huge Skype calls that were open to anyone to join in, we used to do chatzy and talk to each other outside of rp groups on rps/muse blogs and things. But friend groups have shattered, drama has made people less social to the point that ooc group chats are overwhelming to a lot of people, people are afraid to join new things for fear of being bullied, everyone assumes everything is going to die anyway, and the lack of communicating the way that we used to means that even when we do miraculously end up in an rp environment with other people, a lot of people don't seem to know what to do anymore. How do we plot? How do we do things organically? How do we get ships going? How do we get things going outside of ships? How do we stay relevant to the dash? Trying to reply to the whole rp and naturally coming to a thousand and one brilliant plots feels like a thing of the past.

For a D/s rp in specific, here are my thoughts:

Make sure you make the difference between D/s and M/s clear and stick to D/s. That means SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL. That means happy fun time AND punishment time. Nobody should ever be walking around like "fuck D/s, I hate this" in a D/s rp because to be true D/s, everyone should be consenting from the very start. Nobody should feel lesser than, nobody should be running around talking like submissives are less than their dominant counterparts. Submissives choose to willingly take a knee, to bend by GIVING someone power, not by being FORCED to bend to power. Personally, I think that @theseasontm did a great thing by making the D/s optional, that way the rp is open fully, even to people who aren't comfortable with D/s.

Ban incest in your rules right off the bat. If you don't, you'll have to address it later and that's just a very uncomfortable position to be in. It's 2022 and we shouldn't have to tell people why it's not right for someone to be screwing their own sibling, but there are plenty of people out there that will make you make that argument and try to turn it into a debate. Even without the fight, it's awkward to have to tell someone they can't choose that path for their character. That they have to ship with someone outside of their family tree. People will also assume that you allow twincest if you don't specifically say it's not allowed, so some people won't give your rp a chance if that isn't clear.

Ban pedophilia and all pedophilic material. What I mean by that is first, obviously ban all minors, ic and ooc. Ban the use of anyone under 18 being pictured on the dash at all; I know people like to have their characters have kids and stuff and that's fine, but it's a little weird to have pictures of babies and toddlers on the same dash as people stripped and strapped, if you catch my drift. Ask that people keep mature details to a minimum in their bios for their character's life before 18 (so don't make a character that's been a sex worker since 15, there's no reason to romanticize that), and make sure it's known that the D/s structure of your rp does not enter into anyone's lives until after 18. Personally, I would also say that making it a 21+ rp is a good idea, both ic and ooc. That way your muses on the dash aren't teenagers while they're... D/sing each other.

Specify any lore that's individual to your rp. For example, some D/s rps are biological, meaning there is an inherent urge to either dominate or submit. Some people might say that most people that are into the D/s scene are biologically inclined, if you look up the definition of a fetish. Others say that approach takes away consent. You'll also want to establish the laws of the land, like how claiming works, whether being poly is as normal as it usually is in BDSM in the real world, whether there are any laws about the D/s structure, etc. Some people will ask questions if they have any, but not everyone will and whatever makes your rp special might be what makes people keep reading.

I think making it a multiples rp is a good plan too. I've heard people complaining about a lack of canons only rps, but I have seen a bunch of canons only rps open up (and mine was canons only when it started) and they don't do any better than everything else that fails so I guess take their requests with a grain of salt. Multiples rps means that even if you don't know Glee, you can still join, and you can make that clear on your main page. Somewhere obvious that you'll see immediately, and put it on your ads too. A lot of people in the grpc are too afraid to play canons, having become self-conscious after a million and one rabid Tumblr users sent out anon hate specifically targeting people for their characterizations. You might think that's a thing of the past, and it certainly happened a lot back in the day, but I saw a Marley Rose get bullied right off Tumblr less than a year ago because she was getting daily anon hate telling her that her Marley was ooc and annoying. So having the comfort fcs we all love and the family info we're all so attached to but being allowed to make your own oc is a good thing for those people.

#glee rp #glee rph #fandom rp #sebastian answers