#idk i feel like you have to really not be paying attention it one of your kids is injuring the other kids nails n shit

[privitivium]

ok but how about a dom reader whos always busy (workaholic and shi) x an always clingy n touchy sub yan.

like. reader is never at home. and when he finally come back ends up doesn't paying that much attention to yan, sayin 'im too tired' or going to his home office. eventually being followed by yan cause omfg poor boy is basically starving for a little bit of attention. he still declines yan's pleadings tho

then one day this man shows up earlier and completely EAGER for his yan. idk what more can i say. breeding? degradation? daddy kink? dumbification? what could happen when theyre feeling so fucking needy for each other?

(also i love your writing so so much!!!!!!! <3

workaholic male reader, clingy sub yandere ^ rambles. euugh

dumbification works w either imo, reader fucking lover til hes stupid while simultaneously fucking his lover stupid?!

amab//domtop reader/subbot yandere, cw;; breeding, daddy kink, dumbification xd wanna rework this into a more ,,, eloquent fic. soon. have been busy. i really liked this idea so. will do on my own soon.

workaholic you, growing super distant… obviously making your lover paranoid. because what if you're cheating on him? you aren't, of course - he knows that, but he cant stop those kinds of thoughts from popping into his mind…!!! humping your pillow to ease himself while ur at work, watching the camera feed of you in your office… sigh…. often hearing the dreaded words accompanied by a soft simple pat on his back - not even a kiss... "sorry... please, baby, not right now. i'm too tired." he sobs himself to sleep, knowing you're only providing for him,,,, it hurts!!!

all his worries wash away when you arrive home earlier than usual! concerned, but all the more happy to see you appear in the doorway of your home… breathing ragged, looking all dark and mysterious,,,, the mere sight of you looking all deranged makes him hot and bothered. ignoring the way his dick twitches to life, uhmㅡ

"honey? why are you home so early, sweetheart?” draping himself across your front in a very affectionate hug. he couldnt help himself-! and, much to his delight you were not pushing him awayㅡand practically throwing yourself onto him?!?! hh..h.hh...

there you were,,, grasping his face in your hands, pressing your lips against his so hungrilyㅡ “i need youㅡneed you. need you.” expressing your apparent neediness over and over as you bury your face in the crook of his neck ㅡ he was startled, but so fucking eager to comply? feeling the way your boner presses against him? you were that eager for him just as he is you???,,,,, he nearly faints. tearing up with a now raging erectionㅡ “please, baby, i need you - i need you reallyㅡreally badly-” so fucking happy as he completely smothers you in his love,,,

you don't need to tell him twice,,, throwing the front door closed…,,, leading him to the bedroom, covering his face in kissesㅡeven when there was a perfectly good couch right there to make love on. he won't complain,,,, hes gotten used to the null feeling of toys...,,, so, feeling the very loving embrace of your dick filling him up overstimulates him rather.,,, quickly!!! thinking about how truly awful you are to neglect this pretty litte thing, how could you? so, so very awful.

your darling little lover sobbing on your cock… he's so beautiful - experiencing his love and affection for the first time in forever? berating yourself for being so distant,,, pouring all your frustration at yourself into his flexing taut hole,,,, “mm-misssed you… s-so mu-uch daddy-!” he doesn't seem to catch what he just moaned… too drunk on the feeling of your cock pistoning in and out of him - it feels otherwordly?!

and, i mean. going along with it. with ease, because he deserves everything. especially, anything for your darling lover who just wants affection, your love!!! laughing breathlessly as you piston your hips against his, nuzzling your nose into the side of his head - peppering his face in kisses, “daddy's right here, sweet thing - n-never leaving again, y'hear?” it was… a little odd, but fitting. afterall, you're pumping load after load - breeding him. obviously you'd be the daddy in this situation…,,,,

#“clingy touchy yandere” #x male reader #x top male reader #x dom male reader #male reader #top male reader #dom male reader #yandere x male reader #yandere male x reader #sub yandere x male reader

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

here for those who asked + the most recent addition to the cast

#is that how you write addition #anyway #yes when you see this there should be a new chapter posted #give it like two or three mins for it to appear idk how long it takes for ao3 to update this stuff #surprisingly i don't have much to ramble on down here with these two #if you spot the references in vinea's design you're really paying attention #if you do then you can probably guess who is one of celestia's captains #not sure if that would count as a spoiler since i feel like y'all should've seen 'er coming a mile away #either way #hope you'll enjoy! #.png #.png fic #.png cyanide

[oldfashionedmorphine]

Listen. I haven’t watched Ted Lasso. I do not plan on watching Ted Lasso (just not my thing). However last night I was dreaming and who should walk into my dreams but ROY KENT AND JAMIE TARTT. This is YOUR FAULT. I have ABSORBED YOUR BLORBOS THROUGH OSMOSIS

my bad

#although it’s funny you should say that cause i remember when my brother was trying to get me to watch ted lasso #he kept asking me for like 4-6 months or so #and i kept saying ‘it’s not my thing’ #and then i went to visit him and i guess we had nothing better to do so he was like ‘please just try one episode’ #so i said ‘fine. why not.’ #and i didn’t pay much attention to it…like i was half interested in it until maybe the 3rd or 4th episode #and then i started paying more attention and then i got hooked… #eventually rewatched the whole thing and liked it even more the second time #and this was a few months before season 3 aired and of course by then i was a big fan of this silly football show #kinda went a little crazy while season 3 was airing too #but my fixation on it is stronger now i think than before #also i do not really care for sports…someone thought i like this show because i love the sport or something #but i do not…i just really enjoy the characters and the humor #i think it’s a great show and watching it feels like a warm hug #it’s funny but also has its angsty moments and idk i feel like my brother now trying to convince people to try it #oh and i don’t even know how i became a royjamie shipper #it just happened….they have a crazy dynamic and i just think they deserved to kiss lol

[angelamontoo]

Wait I wanna hear about ur Mortimer Brewster hate.

I never cared for him personally but I wanna hear ur reason, if you don't mind.

Oh I probably shouldnt have called myself a hater, that's a bit too strong and negative a word for how I feel about Mortimer. Tbh with how unsympathetic and just plain boring a lot of leading men(aswell as other characters who we, the audience, are expected to have some automatic, unearned liking for)are in a lot of these old films, I can't truly hate Mortimer just cause hes at least consistently genuinely funny and interesting to watch.

Still, Mortimer has a lot of pretty unlikeable characteristics that it took multiple rewatches of the film for me to really notice, or at least think about fully. It's definitely partially my opinion being influenced by other AAOL fans who's post about why they hate Mort got me thinking more about just what a massive douche he is in the film, but plenty of it is stuff I kinda noticed myself and then focused on more with every rewatch while I was waiting for Einstein to appear.

The most obvious shitty trait about Mortimer is ofc the way he treats Elaine, ignoring her, berating her, stringing her along and being a condescending dickweed, all because of his own internal conflicts and as a Lorre fan, I'm obligated to be somewhat offended by how needlessly mean he is to Herman, but what really bothers me personally is the way he treats his aunts and especially Teddy. He talks down to his aunts like they're little kids instead of the people who raised him, essentially his mothers and has 0 gratitude for everything they've done for him despite Abby and Martha treating him like their golden child, being thrilled to cart them off to happydale with Teddy. Speaking of, the utter lack of empathy Mortimer has for his own brother, who has never done anything more harmful to anyone else than blow a bugle too loud, is vile. He has no moral qualms letting Teddy potentially take the fall for murder when he's never shown signs of violence before just because "everyone already knows he's crazy" and Mortimer was always planning to shove Teddy into a nuthouse when his aunts croaked anyway so it's no skin off his nose.

Also, while I'm happy that Herman makes it out of the film unscathed, the fact that Mortimer let's someone who he knows was at least an accomplice to multiple murders walk free just because he helps Mort unload his inconvenient relatives into somebody else's care, is proof that Mortimers eagerness to be rid of his family has nothing to do with him being worried that they'll hurt more innocent people. For all Mortimer knows, Herman's every bit as dangerous as Jonathan.

So yeah if I was gonna make a tiere list for leading men in Lorre films(not including the few where Pete fills that role ofc) Mort would probably rank relatively high for being fun to watch and having some sympathetic moments, but that is not saying much

Also thanks for this ask. My blogs mainly about pete characters ofc, but I like having an excuse to talk about some other characters I'm interested in from his films

#arsenic and old lace #mortimer brewster #idk with the aunts its kinda complicated cause it seems like they kinda fucked up with how they raised the kids in some ways #and even if they pampered him more then Jonathan it seems like the aunts didnt do much to stop jonathan from abusing mort #idk i feel like you have to really not be paying attention it one of your kids is injuring the other kids nails n shit #but we dont know the exact deteils there so its hard to say #plus even if the aunts weren't good caregivers it doesnt justify how he treats teddy or elaine yknow? #idk its hard to pin piint my exact feelings on mort #hes a jerk but hes not boring

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?) #bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad #i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off #i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn' #bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding #and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him) #and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp #so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random #7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like #being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have #at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory #that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know #meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane #I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do #the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw #and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐 #and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc #and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us' #&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night #if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?' #you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it) #i'm schizophrenic 🤷‍♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that #you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy #and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou #i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and #'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm. #and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO) #and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa????? #right when i get back into him??? #it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy

[todayisafridaynight]

confession: sometimes I come to look at your art as references because you have noted details like moles + looking at what colors u put down in my quest to find what something looks like under neutral lighting I know the shit here has been thoroughly researched

i will be normal upon learning this news.

#fave #snap chats #JUST KIDDINGLAKJVKLE I CANT EVEN MAKE A FUNNYMAN™️ COMMENT THAT'S SUCH AN HONOR THANK YOU SO MUCH #especially when i'm such a fan of your own work... i love your lighting and shading and how Shaped everyone is so much... #just the FEEL yk i cant explain it but your art just feels super great to look at.. #the funniest thing bout being sent this today is ironically i was gonna make more 'model sheets' for myself like how i did with y2 daigo #dunno why i just felt compelled to do so.. just so i could draw bitches without having to think ACTUAL Rotating Like An SSBB Trophy moment #except this one i'd make more note heavy..... cause idk i always wanted to do that tbh.. #if my arm didnt hurt i probably would ☠️ maybe tomorrow or if im too stubborn later tonight i will ☠️☠️ #but wow... again thank you that means a lot. new favorite compliment achieved thank you... #i do spend hours looking at these bitches so im glad. im glad thats apparent i pay attention 😫 #in truth i dont even draw EVERY mole on every character- daigo is esp awkward because his moles change throughout games #the moles i draw are specifically for the ps3 era/y3-75 #he has different moles in the dragon engine- they're actually on the right side of his face opposed to the left: theyre entirely different #AND IM GOBSMACKED BOUT THE COLORS BIT people tell me my colors are nice but its still ?? for me to acknowledge that sometimes #like not BAD OF COURSE NO NO IM REALLY HAPPY im just.. hm... i didnt think i was doing anything nice.. #in any case again. thank you. ive made it clear this is a big compliment I Will Can It now ☠️

[aerinamis]

hello i present my enstars faves tierlist except it devolved into a tierlist of how much i want to study them/how much they live in my head

#i think ive organized the tiers too #tbh eichi would realistically be in high microscope tier with shu/wataru. i think above wataru but idk about shu #i feel like they seem cool/they seem nice are the same thing but just like.. different feelings towards them??? #what the hell makes you tick --> i am going to look into them one day but not now #sorry trickstar fans maybe theyll move up in the tierlist after i watch the anime #funny thing was i actually made another tierlist yesterday #but then i played looking glass yesterday and i was like fuckk i have to redo this now #i think the colors in the bbygirl tier are really nice actually... #i realized that my top 3's image colors are really close to my main oc's #and i didnt really pay too close attention before. funny how that works out #i love how everyone in the faves/vibes category are all gremlins #izumi is in limbo. i cannot hate him nor i cannot love him and i desperately need to figure out why #um oops i put too many tags #marik post #marik rambles #enstars #ensemble stars #tierlist

[dolls-self-ships]

thinking abt how fast and hard I've fallen for hook is making me kinda emotional ngl

#its just #ive always liked him as a character and thought he was cute but it never really croased my mind to ship with him #but when it did its like something just clicked idk ;-; dont make fun of me i am being vunerable #my whole relationship with him feels like a really slow burn mutual pining fic that when we eventually get together its like #'oh my god!!!! it was you the whole time!!!!' for both of us #bees self ships #fuck off I love him 😭 #self shipping #self ship #f/o gush #captain hook #sometimes I feel kinda guilty tho bc like i have all these other f/os that I hardly pay attention to anymore #ik they arent real but still #I still love all of them! its just weird bc I havent thought abt a fictional character this much since cedric #and i thought abt him a l o t #like #like I had a problem #and now I have another one

[blueside-hobi]

Thank you for the tag @jiminlikecrazy <3

Sorry this is so hard to see, but I don't want to fill it out again lmao

Tagging @seouldriftmp3 @schnaf @seraphjimin @kimchokejin @clutterbugs @yearningsea @minieggukie @palpalopaloma @mindofnmn @joon-rkive @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @bobagukks

#okay i lied #but i think this will actually be the last one of the night #i've had this saved literally since i was tagged but i just didn't post it bc i'm lazy af and idk #tag game #i really liked this one though #super fun trying to figure out the artists i like enough to put on a square #i absolutely should have put the solutions on here #i feel like i don't listen to them a lot #but like when i pay attention to my playlists they are constantly playing #literally playing right now #maybe i could have swapped them for o.o.o or g-idle or alisa xayalith but too late now #also if you're reading this and you listen to the naked and famous you should listen to alisa xayalith bc her solo stuff is really good

[theamazingannie]

I mentioned this when reading the new Ari and Dante but it’s becoming a problem where authors decide to make a sequel a decade later and get information wrong. In Chalice of the Gods, Percy wears Annabeth’s baseball cap and mentioned feeling weird sensations when wearing and he talks as if he’s never worn it before. But in The Titan’s Curse, which I’m currently rereading, he DOES wear her hat and at no point does he bring up any weird sensations while wearing it. It’s such a small detail but when you got people rereading former books to catch up for the new one, it’s blindingly obvious and you’d think the person who wrote both books would be able to catch it

#idk I’m a very nitpicky person but I pay attention to details and it’s kinda annoying when the authors don’t #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #anyone else notice this? #I haven’t really been involved in this fandom lately #I don’t really follow anyone and I haven’t been in the tag lately #it’s just small details but if you’re going to being something like that up in a new book #you have to research if you’ve brought it up before #I reread my stories all the time while I’m writing them to look for inconsistencies #I just feel like if you’re writing a new one so much later you should probably do a reread first

[dont-offend-the-bees]

O o o f should not have showed the folks everything everywhere all at once

#One of those classic 'puts piece of media that basically represents my heart and soul and innermost feelings in someone's hands' things #I did think that they wouldn't be a fan of how Much it is but they loved swiss army man and I thought they'd appreciate the sentiment #But mum stopped paying attention immediately bc I'm pretty sure she's got sight issues she won't address and her eyes glanced off the subs #And dad enjoyed it a bit more but still had sort of a mildly disapproving face on for a lot of it #And idk ten years ago mum and I would've discussed a movie like that all night #Even if she didn't care for how it was done we would've chatted about the themes for hours #But she just.... Didn't really care #Or get it #Bc she doesn't have the memory/attention to absorb something with so much going on anymore #And always misinterprets if you try and bring up something that's on your mind #And just hums whatever music's in her head no matter what else is going on #And I'm fucking sad and angry that this fucking movie came out too late for the phase in my life when anyone might've given a shit #And at some point my bro is gonna watch it and I hope he'll find it comforting but lbr he's gonna be on the joy Wang nihilism train #And idk I feel a bit like lil waymond getting perpetually divorced and yelled at here bc I'm trying to connect and just not connecting #Looking on the brightside and finding moments of joy and connection is basically my only weapon too and it just #Feels like the people in my family are resisting at every turn #And it's not always their fault!!! Mental health and shit isn't anyone's fault #But even the most neurotyoical of us just isn't interested really in any attempt I make at reaching out #Guys I'm fucking here I'm here for the long haul bc I feel like if I turn my back you're gonna lose the rest of your marbles and disappear #Can we stop!!! Acting!!! Like strangers!!! Sharing a house!!!!! #*screams into pillow* #OK tag over share over #Delete later maybe idk #mr. bees speaks

[milo-is-rambling]

My silly little comforting habit that I cherish so so dearly is when I have a moment I feel really alive or if I feel especially like an outsider watching beautiful memories unfold I’ll set up my phone and record the moment. Like set it up, forget about it for at least three minutes. I have a couple videos of the birds eating birdseed from this week now and I accidentally caught my mother and I having a conversation for thirteen minutes on video but that’s something I can treasure later. Like now I have a video of us just talking and laughing but the video itself is of birds and squirrels and there’s bird songs in the background and the lighting is changing bc the sun was still coming up but yeah that was just really nice and I love going back to those videos and just reliving that moment when I felt connected to myself and the world around me

#I know I got depressed and deleted it but at once point like five years ago I had a video of one of my baby cousins birthday parties and you #can hear the fire crackling outside at my grandparents house and it’s my mom and my aunts and uncles all laughing and playing with the baby #and I was sitting in the car with the girl I would go on to ask out later that night who would go on to destroy a lot of my relationships #and generally scar me for life but like idk something about sitting just on the outside of a family moment is so… idk. #I really enjoy it is all. I’ve always been the person to get the picture or video when no one’s paying attention and those pics/vids are #what I cherish the most about friendships and relationships when they’re gone #I still have a… well I don’t know if I have it now actually I might have deleted it. :/ well I had a video from my trip up to Maine #where a bunch of my mutuals and I met up in person and were being stupid and smoking and laughing and it was so much fun even tho it didn’t #work out and we don’t talk anymore a part of me just loves watching those videos #gahhh I have such big feelings in such a small organ #my head is so full of love it’s astounding

[todayisafridaynight]

if i doodle during unlucky monkey stream later would we be mad at me

#not rgg #snap chats #oh yeah stream later. 4:30 THE USUAL #anyway no cause i THOUGHT about drawing during it. i prob wouldnt show it on screen since #Thats A Lot Going On LOL but im only askin in the event i do and im half-paying attention so no one wonders why im Half-Paying Attention #unlucky monkey one of my fave movies and because of that ive always wanted to draw art for it but i keep getting distracted #i suppose the best time to do so would be. during my fourth rewatch of it LOL #there a lot of ttm movie art i wanna make tbh lol... like ive made SOME but theres still more i wanna do #oh but yeah if youve read this far. for whatever reason. after unlucky monkey it'll be a normal judgment stream #'snap what do you mean normal judgment stream' i mean im playing the game for four hours LOL #i need to catch up on lost time so. lol. #i realize pretty much everyone will leave halfway into it if not the first hour of it but thats prob for the best #i'll vod it in any case so if anyone really cares to see it it'll be there #ok bye i have to. uh. god idk #im ngl i still feel crummy LOLOL but i promise i wont be crummy during stream #i forgot the most important thing about streams and that being streams are equivalent to being on stage #i mean i never became an actor for a reason LOLOL #it's a performance art and i forgot that and im mad about it. BUT I WONT FORGET THIS TIME so dont worry bout me bein ill during stream #well. ill in /that/ sense. we are watching a ttm movie ahaaaaa im a sicko 😩 #IN ANY CASE. hope to see people there :) for the judgment segment i promise to make up for yesterday #NOW im gonna uhhhhh yeah idk :) oh my god my organ hurts im going to kill myself #im gonna stare at this google doc for a hot minute

[ironmanstan]

one of these days my dad is gonna realize what my school schedule is in the meantime he will continue to exist adjacently to me and never in the same space

#guy who brags constantly about me getting into my program and didnt realize th school im going to is like good #until he told one girl and she recognized the name and freaked out #and now he wont fucking quit with it #meanwhile: keeps complaining its gonna get real old driving me to school and please please learn to drive #i have class. 3 days a week. technically 2 bc one class is online and i only go in that day really late in the afternoon lmfaoooo #does he know this. no not at all. has actually not asked a question about what im gonna be doing #instead keeps worrying i have no future and keeps asking what career i want to go into and also is it animation its animation right #why not animation... oh well maybe you can transfer into animation later : ) #yeah ok. sure. why dont i transfer into animation so i can fucking smash a brick into my skull #screaming and dying he needs to go back to forgetting i am real he is paying too much attention to goings on now #idk how to relax and everything is coming up now and i feel like im dying slightly lmao. sitting at my desk working all weekend #working on what. who knows bc i hurt my shoulders too bad to do anything real. stressing myself out further for nothing #dies and explodes i should be excited and be doing fine but well lmao. lmao. i will probably feel better when i go in tomorrow #i dont know man ptsd brain is like nothing good can happen for long! standby for the other shoe to drop #and well it sure is coming to a head now bc getting in would be really. really good. so ofc the other shoe will drop right #i know it wont but my brain doesnt know that so fear sits in my whole body all day all night stress dream city baby #vent #ig #dies and explodes

[dancerofhyrule]

Love how Tumblr decides not to show my art in certain tags yet it will show a text post no one cares about that got less than 5 likes

#/neg #obviously #partly why i'm quote unquote inactive here #i show something and get lucky if i get a reblog #even luckier if my art shows up in the tags #and like i'm grateful for any attention i do get #but i always feel ignored. felt pretty ignored by quite a few people all my life #idk if i'm just unlucky or if i have poor social skills but i feel like i never get acknowleged #and then i never show my stuff 'cause i'm always like no one will pay attention to it #even worse my very mean brain will say 'likes aren't good enough they HAVE to be talking to you about your work' #which. like i said i'm grateful for getting even a single crumb of attention #i want to talk so badly about the stuff i make and yet when i do i either don't actually have much to say or the conversation #ends up short lived. at least. it feels like it #and i always feel like it's my fault #am i grateful? am i? sometimes i don't even know myself #and yet i feel like an attention seeker when i try to boost my work #so i just don't bother most of the time #ugh geez i'm really sorry for turning this into a whole vent in the tags #i need to stop i feel like i'm gonna cry anyway #i'm sorry if i'm ever annoying boring or ungrateful #wall of tags

[strwbrymlkshake]

so upset and disgusted my stomach hurty </3

#mine #💿 #im not upset bc of him im upset bc of something else but i wanna rant abt him anyways #he isnt good at holding conversations w me but tried to cheer me up which is nice. an attempt was made #im being less of a weirdo freak around him and distancing more ?? which is good i suppose #i love yandere culture and everything but i only want a yandere relationship thats not based on exploiting weaknesses #like a thing where each partner consents to whatever non traditional act etc. none of this weird stuff #the thing im upset about is sort of regarding my views abt it but not a ref to anything on here ugugugghrg #i dont understand why thered be people who want to see the light of their life in pain and hurting. its about worship and adoration #and treating your love like the object nearest to your heart. like an extension of you. not fucking abusing them #not abusing those who cant do anything for themselves. who cant fight back. who dont have the slightest idea #dont drag people into your sick fantasy just because it gets you off usdhwkffjdkgke im seething rn #anyway i tagged this abt my cd guy so i will continue to talk abt him. when he was messaging me i was very happy #i was so happy i could make him laugh and his happiness made me happy<3 but like literally i cant trust anyone anymore #i know one person cant take care of all my problems but i feel like they could contribute a little more. instead of ignoring me #idk maybe im being weird and everyone acknowledges me a normal amount.. i have irreversible damage in my brain<3 #im being good about not obsessing. having other interests and goals. having a LIFE on my own without craving him everyday #i dont know if im doing it purposefully though or im just afraid. i know i am afraid but is that the only reason? i really am trying #i feel so heartbroken the way i felt more love when a cashier was being nicer to me than almost any of my friends #im like oh ill get doxxed writing that. but i dont think anyone is paying enough attention or cares enough to find me out anyway. #i will settle for second best even if it means they simply regard me positively :( i want to be liked so so badly. just for who i am #not anything like talents or appearance. just me. why doesnt anyone desire me for who i am? maybe its because who i am isnt the best yet #but i want to be loved even if im not the greatest and i dont think thats too much to ask. i want to be loved the way all humans love #but there isnt much of that any more. or if there is they sure have a funny way of showing it. im not supposed to rely on people for things #like this. but i cant just keep telling MYSELF i accept me. that i love me. because i know this already. im fine with me. but no one else #is. ive submitted to the ordeal of being known. to being vulnerable. to pouring my heart out. but everyone who touches it is filthy. #ive fixed myself to the best of my ability yet why am i not being taken notice of. i make myself look nice everyday. what does it take #its so sickening that its hard to find a kind person in the world. you ignore me. i was going to go great lengths to get you a present too #i was gna try so hard but its so easy for you to not try at all. oh well i cant cntrol others i can only sit being tormented by thr actions #i cant work hard enough to make you care about persevering. to not be indifferent. to not be boring. to not be neglectful