#idk if my friends would even want to be part of it

[lovifie]

Dating your teammate was never part of the plan, but not even a rock would be able to resist Kyle Garrick.

His pretty eyes and that lascivious tone of his had you falling head over heels before you could realise. But rules are rules, and at the beginning the two of you keep it hidden from prying eyes.

Kissing behind closed doors and light-speed glances at each other while the other were presents, like little kids with their first love.

Price didn't suspect a thing until you were taken by the enemy, a proof of life being sent just a couple of hours after Kyle failed to grab your hand.

There you were, tied hands and feet, while the enemy pointed a gun to your head and said something Kyle couldn't even hear over the sound of his blood rushing through his ears. The improper rage the sergeant expressed proof enough for the captain to know.

Price suspected them the two of you must have grown closer than he thought right in front of his eyes, his voice as captains and as friend colliding and clashing inside his mind. At the end, the important part was that the two of you were happy.

And happy you were when Kyle opened the door of your cell. Letting you know it was just two on this side of the building, no danger and no rush.

You fell for Kyle quick, and just as fast did the man have you lying on your stomach, your pants and underwear pulled down just enough to be able to sink himself in your welcoming cunt.

His teeth sinking into the muscle of your shoulder, not bothering to undo the knots of the ropes holding you immobile. Not that you minded, not with the way his length dragged in and out of your soaked cunt and the way his balls were hitting your clit with each thrust.

Just the sound of your bodies connecting with each roll of his hips, his arms hugging you over your chest keeping you pressed against his and his legs on each side of your body. Moans and the filthiest words you have hear him say dripping into your ear.

"I can bloody feel you choke my dick every time you think someone is walkin' in... Is it fear or is it that you want them to see how good you take my dick, love?"

↓ Taglist ↓

@crashtestbunny @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @waiting-so-long @mothymunson @cod-z

@lyralein @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121

@spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock @arbesa-mind @cmbghost

@multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles

@cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat @lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria

@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @fraserbraw @rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow

@hxnneydew @sobbingnshtting @dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger

@soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 @katreintjie @sacvh @thesinsoflust

@sodavrr @yuki2129 @idk-justkane @shanhalen @dukeofjjune

@vane28282 @draculara @vivi2e @lordbugs @murder-hobo

#call of duty #cod #cod x reader #cod modern warfare #call of duty x reader #kyle gaz x reader #gaz smut #cod smut #cod fic #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick smut #gaz x reader #gaz imagine #gaz fanfic #gaz #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz smut #kyle gaz x you #call of duty smut #call of duty gaz #kyle garrick #call of duty modern warfare

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🎈emoji so I’ll see it:

AITA FOR NOT HUGGING AN AUTISTIC KID? (Long read ahead)

ok so I’m a middle schooler (M), yes I’m 14 (old enough to be on the site) and today we were doing some end of year activities (eg. signing yearbooks, playing games, etc etc). And I was talking to a friend of mine we’ll call her V. Suddenly I was approached by a teacher who said that a kid (let’s say Jessica) wanted to talk to me. I was like “oh ok sure.” Jesica approached me and brought me a card. Now some background on Jessica:

So Jessica is autistic and in all different classes than me. I’ve interacted with her a few times, she seems to have some friends? I don’t really know. In the past I tried to be her friend not knowing she was autistic (this is the possibly asshole part) but her behavior was really strange as she would often say odd things that made me uncomfortable (not perverted or anything but just really awkward) and would really kinda creep me out so once my class with her was over I never spoke to her unless she initiated it which only happened once or twice. Another thing that really bothers me is that I co-lead our showchoir group with V and another student and it’s a difficult job that requires a lot of participation and effort from all the members. Yet Jessica hardly ever does anything, she just sits in a chair half the time while everyone else is working hard. I know that it’s a spectrum and not all autistic ppl are the same but there’s two other autistic dudes who both work super hard and help out a ton!

Anyway she insisted that it had to be a surprise and told me to close my eyes and put out my hands. I absolutely hate closing my eyes in public due to the worry that someone will touch me while my eyes are closed but I didn’t wanna upset her so I did it anyway. When I opened my eyes she’d placed a folded over piece of paper in my hands. She’d written a card in pink magic marker, it was almost illegible so all I could make out was “my full name and grade, the date, summer (have a good summer?), and school. She asked me to read it out loud so I mumbled a bunch of sounds together to make it seem like I was reading it even though I couldn’t tell what it said on account of the handwriting. She seemed satisfied so I thanked her telling her how much I appreciated and moved to leave when she said “and what do we say?” Confused I said “thank you”. I think that was the right answer? She then put out a hand toward me which is a pretty normal gesture in our school meaning you want the other person to dap you up. So I did, to which she seemed confused and tried to shake my hand. She then said “don’t I get a hug? You have to hug me right?” I HATE hugs. It brings back traumatic memories and I really really could not bring myself to hug her epesecially since I didn’t know her well. “I told her I’m sorry but I don’t do hugs. I just really don’t like them.” She looked disappointed at that and then said “that was really sweet of me right, writing you a letter?” I didn’t know how to reply to that so I said “yeah it’s great.” She replied saying I had to right her back and that I should “write it at home and give it to her the next day”. Knowing I’d forget, I just grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it to her right there. It was a simple paragraph on a different sheet of paper with the usual stuff, “have a good summer, you’re really cool, good luck in hs” the kind of stuff you write in someone’s yearbook. she seemed satisfied and she put her hand out again so I dapped her up again. She then shook my hand vigorously and walked away saying she’d see my tommorow.

I hated everything about this encounter but I still feel like I did a good job being nice and stuff even though I have a hard time being patient with people that pressure me to do things (eg. Writing her another letter, hugging, affirming her over and over, the handshake thing). Idk V said it was a strange situation and I handled it fine but again was not hugging her bad of me? Or like did I mess up in some other way? I have no beef with autistic people at all and I’m friends with a few of them but is it wrong of me to just not like her?

Also thanks for reading all that but if it was too long:

TLDR: autistic girl wanted me to hug her as thanks for her writing me a letter and I declined, aita?

#aita #am i the asshole

[live-laugh-lenney]

Here for something with Mr Lenney pls🙏🏼

Spent the evening binging his react to Love Island vids and now just wanna be sat in the sun on holiday with him. Maybe a group holiday with other YouTube lads and they’re all single so it’s reader on a lads holiday essentially but Will does little things like making her breakfast, taking her on little dates away from the lads (particularly if their all hungover from partying the night before), napping together before getting ready for dinner (also together). Idk that’s all just suggestions, I just want Will on holiday, by the ocean and in the sun so I can fulfill my willne and moana dreams at once so do anything you like with that!! ☀️🌺🥥

ohhh, that's so cuteeee! this is definitely someting we can talk more on! the scenario of the boys being on holiday, in any of the stories, has me weak.

she considers herself 'one of the lads'.

the lads consider her as 'one of the lads'.

whenever they hang out, they always made sure to invite her so she didn't feel left out and they always made her feel welcomed into the group by including her in conversations, letting her partake in any of their silly drinking games that they played, and they let their softer side to come out when teasing her - no horrid nicknames that made her feel small or belittled, no taking the piss out of her when she did something or said something that they found funny, no singling her out for their own humour and for the benefit of their out laughter. she was like a little sister to them; and she always felt comfortable and safe around them.

so, of course she was going to be invited to their annual trip abroad.

much to her excitement... and much to will's liking.

four months is how long they'd been secretly 'seeing' each other.

they weren't scared of what their friends would say about them being a couple... if anything, they'd be over the moon knowing that their two friends were finding happiness with each other. they just enjoyed the secrecy of no one having a clue that they were spending time together, alone, on the days that they'd not all hang out together.

sending silly and flirtatious texts every so often when they missed the other, staying over at each other's flats most nights of the week and spending their days off together, going on secret dates in the parts of london they knew they'd never get seen, and keeping calm and very collected when they were out together to not give anything away.

wedged between calfreezy and chip on the flight to croatia, because cal had insisted he had the aisle seat so he could stretch out his legs and chip hadn't been willing to sit anywhere but in the window seat... as much as she wished she was sat beside will, who was in the row of seats to her right and squeezed in between harry and chris, she was happy to have had some peace and quiet and some time away from the geordie accent she'd been listening to for the last twenty-four hours. having stayed at his place the night before they were due to fly from heathrow airport, the two of them insisting it was easier to get picked up from the same place and go together opposed to her being a solo traveler to meet the rest of them at the airport since she lived the furthest away... although, that's what they told the boys... which they were surprised they'd understood as a valid reason.

reev and callux, and theo baker in the middle of them, were sat in the row behind her and she could hear them either talking to a camera as they vlogged their trip away or informing their instagram followers on how they'd pulled the short straw in sitting next to theo for the next few hours. much to her amusement.

once they landed, heading straight to the villa that they'd rented for the next ten days, the lot of them were eager to get settled in before heading out to find a supermarket for their necessities and to scope out the local bars and restaurants that they were going to spend their nights in. all yn wanted was a shower, and her cleansing products, as the plane air felt sticky and gross on her skin.

with their rooms dibsed by the time they walked through the front door, their suitcases and bags thrown on the beds to claim them as their own, it didn't take long for the boys to ready themselves with a spray of their deodorant and a spritz of aftershave and a splash of water to their faces to clear the sweat building from the humidity.

much to yn's appreciation, who wanted the shower first.

she stood in her room once she was feeling fresh, having stood under the shower head from a couple of minutes so she felt cooler and a lot more cleaner, air drying as she rummaged through her suitcase for a more suitable outfit for taking a walk in the twenty-degree heat.

"just give us a text when you're ready. we'll go find a good lunch spot. i think we're all starving," calfreezy's voice echoed around the empty villa and yn couldn't help but pinch her brows together in confusion as to who he was speaking to, "no going to sleep for six hours. the jetlag is nothing."

"you have my word."

it was will's voice that echoed back and there was a tingle in her belly that made her feel weak at the knees. and when the door closed, the voices of the guys trailing off in the distance as they made their way down the main road outside their villa, it wasn't long before she heard his footsteps rushing up the stairs. his shoes scuffing the cool and tiled floor which lined every room in the house.

"what do you reckon? an hour to ourselves before they get suspicious of us?" will questions as he steps foot around the door to her room and sees her standing in her towel, "was hoping to hop in with you, save water and all that."

"you snooze, you lose," yn grins cheekily at him and he rolls his eyes in a dramatised fashion, "i was fine meeting you guys in the town, you know? it's not that far of a walk for me to do by myself in daylight."

"i know but i wanted to keep you company here," he perches himself down on the edge of her bed and watches as she pulls out different articles of clothing to see if they went together, "fancy going out for dinner one night this week? me and you?"

"won't the guys get a bit suspicious if we go off together?"

"i don't really care," he admits and she glances at him, "what?"

"nothing, i just," she sighs softly and sets a pair of denim shorts and a cropped white t-shirt on her bed, pairing it with an oversized shirt that was decorated with stripes that she was going to wear over the top and knot at the front, "i like the sneaking around. the enjoyment and the excitement of almost being caught. all that goes out of the window when they know."

"but we could kiss and hold hands in public," he reminds her and she drops the towel to her feet, her underwear already clinging to her skin having done that when she got out the shower, "we could be a proper couple."

"are we not now?"

"of course we are," he laughs softly, "but i get to show you off. i get to bat away the boys who stare at you and not sit back and get jealous because we have to pretend not to have any feelings whatsoever. i get to brag about you."

the room is filled with silence as she slips her clothes on and finishes off getting ready, pairing her outfit with a pair of nike socks and her comfortable white trainers, but she can't ignore the eyes that watch her from her bed.

"the last night," she suggests, "we'll find a place, we'll dine, we'll wine and we'll come clean to the boys."

"yeah?"

"yeah," she nods and he grins widely, standing to his feet and pressing a kiss to her forehead, "if they find out before then they find out before but... yeah, the last night of our holiday should go out with a bang."

"a bang i can get behind," he smirks and she smacks his arm playfully with the palm of her hand, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry." xx

#willne #willne imagines #willne fics #willne blurbs #willne headcannons #will lenney #will lenney imagines #will lenney blurbs #will lenney fics #will lenney headcannons

[misc-obeyme]

my favorite theory re: why does barbatos hate solomon he would not be that mad about the list (at most a little passive aggressive about it next time he saw him) is that past!solomon knows nightbringer (or is nightbringer????) (has a pact with nightbringer if they're a demon????????) and used his pact to make barbatos take mc back to the past. i think future!solomon has had his memory erased of all this, possibly in relation to his reconciliation with barbatos. past!barbatos might feel taken betrayed which could also sorta explain why he used the list as an excuse in that he doesn't feel respected or acknowledged. more to the point though, this would also mean past!solomon had made barbatos break his promise with diavolo to not use his powers over time, which i feel would definitely be reason enough for him to be as angry as he is, especially if past!solomon had also prevented him from just talking to future!solomon about it

idk i might have explained this badly. i am behind in the storyline for nb so i might be missing stuff but i just don't think he'd be that genuinely angry for that long over something that petty. unless he had been cursed. which could also be an interesting subplot!

i dont think either of these will actually happen but its what makes sense to me and i think it could be interesting. idk idk lmao

Well hello there friend!!

OKAY BUT YES I also really like the idea that the reason Barb is angry at Solomon is that it is past!Solomon who forced Barb to do something he didn't want to do, such as sending MC back to the past!

I have a whole theory about past!Solomon, but basically it's just suspicious to me that we never run into him. And I really felt like that part where Solomon summons Barbatos in the labyrinth was meant to show us that Solomon can force Barb to do things he doesn't want to do. Why show us that otherwise? And when Solomon did that, Barbatos was pissed. Like even more pissed than he usually is.

I didn't even realize this would also mean Barb would have broken his promise to Diavolo, but you're right and that feels like an actual in character reason for him to be upset!

And future!Solomon clearly has no idea what's going on, which is why everything doesn't make sense to him.

And possibly Barbatos is aware of what's happening with the different Solomons, but he can't say it to him directly, so he makes up something about the list on the spot because MC asked about it.

You didn't explain it badly at all, I am right there with you!! I think there's something else going on and although I haven't talked about two Solomons theory in a while, I still think that could be part of the issue! We got past!Solomon causing trouble while potentially being under the command of Nightbringer and we have future!Solomon being completely confused because he doesn't even remember what's happening.

It would be interesting if it came down to a curse, too, though. Who put the curse on Barb? Why? How?? etc!

I just can't get behind the list being the real reason. If they never talk about it again, I'm just gonna go with my own ideas and forget about canon because that's what I do when I don't like what happens lol.

#not me rambling about this again #but yes I fully agree with you! #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #the-nefarious-vampire #cc mutuals #misc answers

[strawberry-jackalope]

I keep thinking this year is my senior year of college, a long time coming, and part of me wants to just.. film it? not all of it obviously, but make a mini documentary about it, some coming of age type thing, the painfully indie award bait nonsense. to just film the moments where I'm studying with friends, and anagama night and art sales, the random sangria and charcuterie nights me and my friends do, just make this thing

#personal #I don;t know anything about filming or editing #nor do I actually have many friends to do this with #and what would it really be? what storyline what development what substance is this #but I think maybe it would be something nice to have #years down the line just to look back on #or share with my kid if I ever have one #idk if my friends would even want to be part of it #but it keeps coming up in my brain

[spookygibberish]

Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.

The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.

A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.

#haven't posted them much (all wips) but been thinking about the sphinxish people in my setting. same world as thrones #different part of the continent like 2 whole seas away #this is inspired by a shitty comic a friend is reading and also thinking some of the writing in the long way to a small angry planet re #hostile aliens really really sucked. #i want to talk abt this more so im posting it if you have thoughts i would like to hear themmmmm #i'm very cynical about this kind of stuff lmao #dogstock #im also reading tollkien rn so im thinking about ORCS #i dont actually like the lotr trilogy all that much but not even bc i think the writing is bad i just think its kinda boring. sorry. #thats not a very interesting reason to not like something i dont even think its not good im just not super entertained. rip #like not saying there is no issue with it at all writing wise there is very much to say abt how it is utterly and uncritically #white good black bad fair elves and dark orcs and shit like that #but i've liked things more that have bigger issues. hi pern. maybe i just like shlock! idk! #rambling. im keyed up hi #the gibberish in spookygibberish

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..

if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..

and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.

he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)

he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..

#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon #like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him #but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is #hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute #and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it #idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them #need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless #and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!' #and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria #and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times #this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what #he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates #i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but #a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo #so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more #though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers #a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain #anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless #and i want to know who his friends would be #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[shima-draws]

So my roommate is also into One Piece. I’m not sure if he’s watched any of the anime, I know for sure he’s watched the live action, but earlier tonight he came upstairs and watched a few episodes with me while waiting for a food delivery, and then he got hooked, and then he sat and watched MORE episodes with me without really knowing what was going on. But it was still wildly entertaining to him, esp since I’m right in the middle of one of the (arguably) best arcs rn, and now he wants to finish the arc with me LOL. NOBODY is immune to One Piece propaganda. Or Bon-chan 🥰

#Shima speaks #IT WAS JUST REALLY FUNNY #Like he’s been spoiled to a lot of stuff and has general knowledge of some things #So he knows (as well as I) about what’s going to happen to Ace #But yeah I’m in the middle of Impel Down and it’s absolute fucking CHAOS rn. Insane. #He was like. How much more are you going to watch tonight. #And I was like well I usually go until right before bedtime when I’m binging it #So he was like let me grab my blanky :) LOL #We started chanting PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!!!!! #Idk it’s just nice. I usually don’t get this kind of reaction to stuff I watch #My parents don’t like anime and my sister. Well she likes it but only specific series #So I couldn’t rope her into OP even if I tried lol #So having someone be like ooooh what are you watching it looks good I want to join! #IT FEELS NICE. OKAY. I don’t get that ever!!! #I don’t have the kind of family who would be willing to watch anime with me #And tbh I get jealous when my friends tell me they watch anime with their parents #I doubt my parents would watch anime if I were on my deathbed and asked them to. LMAO #Not faulting then it’s not their cup of tea which is fine. It just makes me sad #*them #Bc that’s just. Such a HUGE part of my life and who I am. And they don’t know anything about that side of me #Or about the things I’m into #Sorry didn’t mean to get emo in my tags. Anyway. #I was gonna watch more OP during my lunch break tomorrow BUT since my roommate also wants to watch more. I will wait :) #Never have to do that usually! Huh!! How fun!!! #One Piece

[wildstar25]

What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?

(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)

Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:

#ffxiv #wolship #g'raha tia #y'shtola rhul #wolgraha #wolshtola #y'shtola x wol #arsay nun #graharshtola #y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw #and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh' #her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo #i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship #someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections #its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either #just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together #or that she could at least bring some cheer to #and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it' #which arsay certainly did #i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags #so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks #graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough #to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her #to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath. #he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life #but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast #so hes trying to build her up in other ways #focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side #and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its #'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter

[skunkes]

what they dont tell you about being incredibly introspective is that you'll think you're done making realizations and then you'll just make more realizations always all the time forever

#dude. guess who just found out the reason he's incapable of imagining himself in a good relationship #is bc he's never witnessed any growing up. #my parents dont have a relationship i would want #only one of my siblings is married and her husband sucks. other has never dated while ive been alive (im much younger) #+ my other sibling had. a strange relationship i wont mention details of but this was also like 5 yrs ago and he hasnt dated since #i have very few close friends and none of them dated as we grew up either #or even with some its like. i wldnt want your relationship lol... #the only Good relationships i see are online from ppl i follow. and then i cant trust em bc we only see the Good Parts #so like. do they even exist... i dont think so.... #if i wasnt starved for physical touch id consider throwing in the towel permanently #but idk maybe ill buy one of those pillows with the arms that wrap around you #and a few more **** and try and cope with it in kenland or al's farm forever #talkys #im still 100% serious about ppl who have good relationships being lucky bc i feel like #the chances of finding someone you mesh with and are attracted to and can communicate with. are so slim. #i can barely ever find someone meeting one of many requirements. i can barely make friends. etc

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[watermelinoe]

my niece once got upset w my dad bc he wouldn't buy her some overpriced drunk elephant skincare product. she was freaked out about getting wrinkles. at age eight. i wish her mom had never bought her that damn smartphone

#idk if my brother is dad of the year or anything but he didn't want her to have the smartphone so points for that #her mom bought it so she could track my niece whenever she's with her dad (my brother) and text her constantly #and considering she's so petty that she made my niece leave an easter gathering with a terminal family member early it's like #i'm sure she has her side of it and my brother was probably a dick somehow but girl you're punishing an eight year old about it #and i really don't think shit like ''ice age is for boys (so i won't watch it)'' came from my brother #i'm sure i'm biased bc it's my brother but genuinely i think she bought my niece that phone to spite him #and now she's just glued to it bc that's what smartphones are designed to do !!!! #you would really fuck up your own kid's attention span and self esteem just to get back at your ex??? #and this isn't even the worst parenting move on her part but luckily that guy died and can't be around my niece anymore ever <3 #but i just worry about her. since i moved away i don't really get to see her. #and not to be narcissistic but i feel like it's good for her to see women w short hair no makeup comfy clothes etc. #i wanna be a good example for her #i told her she should just worry about washing with soap wearing sunscreen and drinking lots of water #i just can't relate at all. at her age all my friends were boys and i was into dinosaurs and pokemon and werewolves #a lot of girls... didn't really like me 😔 i remember being upset bc one girl called me a tomboy #anyway if u read all this. secret radioactive kiss just for u. mwah 💚

[lord-squiggletits]

Like fundamentally my Pharma apologism is basically just flipping the script and making Pharma the protagonist instead so that "crazy mad doctor torturing Ratchet the good Autobot" is instead flipped around to "Heavily traumatized ex(?) Autobot gets revenge on his best friend killing him/leaving him for dead and stealing his body parts."

Honestly I feel like the one misconception that ppl have that makes their interpretations of Pharma or Pharma and Ratchet interactions really bad, is that too many ppl in the fandom treat(ed) Pharma like some random creepy stalker that barely even knew Ratchet, as opposed to Ratchet's literal best friend that only lost contact with him right before Earth events happened (so basically after 4+ million years of friendship they hadn't seen each other for like...2 years tops which is nothing in the average Cybertronian lifespan). Though I can't blame them because sometimes the narrative likes to forget that too in terms of acting like Pharma is solely in the wrong/everything Ratchet did to hurt him was deserved bc Pharma killed people and was stupid/arrogant/shallow.

Like ppl have GOT to understand that Pharma and Ratchet were best friends since before the war started. For reference that would make the length of their friendship comparable to Ratchet and OP's friendship. Which means they would've been REALLY FUCKING CLOSE, not that you really have to read between the lines to see that when Ratchet himself mentions how he and Pharma used to talk late into the night together.

So when Pharma is obsessed with Ratchet, it's not bc he's some delusional stalker who doesn't even know him and is just projecting all of his hates/desires onto Ratchet. It's because they were literally lifelong friends that only broke up/fell out of contact like a year prior. Pharma DOES know Ratchet. He DOES have a meaningful relationship with him. He DOES have the right to be pissed off at Ratchet because a lifelong friendship gives Pharma a claim to Ratchet's regard. Not in a "oh you HAVE to stay friends with me" kind of way, but in a betrayal sense of "oh you did me DIRTY for someone who used to call me his best friend." Imo there's an obligation between lifelong friends where if you hurt them or break up with them, it's a serious deal and you can't treat them like a stranger just bc you hate them

#squiggposting #idk me projecting my philosophy about friendship yet again #pharma apologism #the narrative of m/mtte really wants you to forget that they were best friendols #or at least think that their friendship means nothing for how ratchet should treat pharma #which is fucked up imo bc there are friends that i have/had #where even if we were no longer friends i wouldnt suddenly find it acceptable to like. hurt them #the weight of our former friendship is such that i respect them even if we're no longer friends #so anyways pharma is not 'obsessed' or 'stalking' ratchet #he's a spurned and betrayed best friend seeking revenge on the guy who killed him #(or put him in a situation where he would die) #something about friendship as a sacred bond where some ways of breaking it #arent merely 'parting ways' but a betrayal of treating someone you love as an enemy

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it? #ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol) #yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love. #sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

#a biscuit's rambles #also i just love going out with friends til late?? #with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great #also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe #idk #i also like my bike. a lot #been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets #EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE #AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY #LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT #A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY #AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU #ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!! #and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS #MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN #ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER #fun fact i have been run over before #just fuckin collided with a car #nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt #which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol #though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL #also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY #AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS #I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK #AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE #THROUGH MYSELF #im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be

[siriuslynephilim]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes