#idk if tw in the tags help lmao

[voidcomett]

TW: disorted faces

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volume 4 hit hardddd

#may be triggering #tw distorted face #idk if tw in the tags help lmao #the mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue volume 4 #the intruder #fanart

[sand-stinger]

gorey double life art below the cut!! be warned!

no bodies here!! no way! no dead bodies or heartbeats here! nope!

a gift for @kingscourthouse as another part of @mcythorrorgiftexchange !

#tw gore #tw blood #very gore!! #inspired by telltale heart. in case that wasnt clear lmao #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #scott smajor #double life #mcythorrorgiftexchange #dont ask me how the soulbond still works when their hearts are Fully Outside. idk and its cool enough to not need logistics #also ty mod mulberry for helping with the tags!

[vcrnons]

JUN [INSIDE SEVENTEEN] 'Rock With You' Special Video BEHIND.

#jun #moon junhui #wen junhui #seventeen #svt #*mine #my gif #tw eyestrain #one of those many many occasions in which i have a vision and then idk. i go blind midway through or something #regardless i love him and he's pretty and this needed to happen for personal reasons #helloooooooo mister that smoulder????? put me in the ground smh #heymax #maddieblr #they all looked sooooo good in this video tho #probably plenty more where this came from😔 so uhhhhh lets give it a tag #rwysvbh #why is his adam's apple always so. fucken. prominent ????? #why am i sweating over it lmao #send help

[sonego]

💯✨

#stephen curry #steph curry #nba #golden state warriors #nbaedit #idk what tags to use LMAO #jordan poole #bc assist #flashing tw #nico.gif #nico's first nba gifs if they suck just close your eyes <3 #i'm falling dangerously in love with these men ... help me #warriors

[mustangs-flames]

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#took my anxiety meds and did my cbt exercises and am doing a bit better now #turns out i had forgotten to take them today #and a bunch of random stuff triggered a bit of a spiral #one of those being about horror story creation and how anyone who writes/makes horror content is- #inherently an evil person and shouldn't be making it. so yeah. uh. seeing that during an anxiety episode didn't help out at all lmao #i got scared thinking i had hurt everyone in the world by writing a horror series #despite. you know. tagging all my stories age-appropriately. tagging content. and even providing content warnings on each chapter #like. i think i do a lot more than some creators do when being responsible about horror or handling certain topics in my writing #especially because of the religious trauma #and the bad childhoods and parents. and the fear of god and how it can negatively impact one's queerness and identity #and i mean. i've always been clear that if i ever forget to tag something that all you have to do is let me know and i will fix it asap #idk. not saying i'm like a beacon if perfection but i try to rationalise to my anxiety that i am doing the most i can #if that makes sense? #anyway. sorry about my break earlier #tw: vent

[marshmellowtea]

Proshippers literally pretend that POCD means you are a pedophile and want it what the fuck are you on about? Proshippers try to force pwOCD to engage in checking compulsions because they pretend it's pro-recovery.

normally this is the kind of ask that i would just quietly delete but i'm actually going to answer it rn because this is so absurd i have to laugh. no, bestie, the people pretending that people with pocd are pedophiles are YOU GUYS. that's all you! antis are the one who i have seen treating intrusive thoughts as secret desires. antis are the ones i've seen with "people with pocd dni" in their bios. and fucking antis are the ones who have made pocd so commonplace on this website in the first fucking place because of the way you try to look for proof people are predators in the most innocuous shit.

believe it or not, part of ocd recovery is accepting the thoughts you have and learning to deal with them in some way. y'all want people to feel ashamed of their intrusive thoughts forever to "prove" they're a good person and that's the exact opposite of healing. that's just making ocd worse. and, in speaking of learning to deal with them, one of the ways to DO that is to write fiction about said thoughts and make them less scary to you! that's part of the reason why i create and enjoy fucked up fictional content! it's a way of dealing with my intrusive thoughts that puts the power back in MY hands, and treating these fictional depictions meant as coping mechanisms as "proof" someone's a predator is not just stupid, it's also cruel, because you are actively trying to make someone's disorder worse.

i guess you missed this part of my original post, so i'll say it again here: when i was an anti, you fucking people had me so convinced i was doomed to sa a child because of 1) the fact i like dark fiction exploring topics such as csa, and 2) my intrusive thoughts themselves, that i thought i was going to have to commit suicide. my life was in danger because of you people. and i was a fucking teenager when this all was happening! i should not have had to deal with that, but because you made this environment so toxic and preyed on my already existing ocd, i did! i was miserable and i hated myself and i thought i was a predator in the making! that's a horrible way to live!

tldr; go fuck yourself anon lmao, you have no idea what you're talking about and the extensive damage people like you have done to people with ocd. fuck off <3

#i'm not gonna address the 'force people to engage with compulsions' part cuz honestly idk what the fuck you are talking about lmao #so please get this through your head: your community has done me so much harm and i will never be swayed back to your side #i will not say irreparable harm because distancing myself from y'all and becoming proship has helped immensely with my pocd specifically #but harm nonetheless #(also as a pro para person i don't love the conflation of 'pedophile' with 'person who hurts children' #because studies have shown most child molesters are not actually attracted to their victims #but i figured now wasn't the time for that discussion) #csa tw #suicide tw #ask to tag #why i left the anti cult and decided to just enjoy things: a memoir #marshy gets asks #anonymous

[sweet-star-cookie]

so this week i discovered that portable dishwashers are a thing

#i legit did not know they made those #so i've been hand washing all of my dishes in this apartment for a whole ass year like a peasant #it's not here yet and i try not to order too many things online this time of year but i'm desperate and it was on sale okay #please god let this thing help me deal with my constant stack of dishes ;;;;;; #gun #gun tw #it's very poorly drawn and intended to be comedic here but #just in case #my art #kind of??? #idk #maybe i should make a shitpost tag lmao

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

mental illness is SOOO funny the last time i felt happy and free n actually wanted to live was my birthday 2021 lmaoo

#this is a cry for help i cant DO THIS ANYMORE #sorry im being dramatic rn ill probably be fine in like an hour or the next 30 min #but genuinely i haven't felt. Good. since 2021 #and that was on the brief car ride back to my house #lol. lmao even #aethers rants #cw vent #tw vent #cw sui ideation #idk its kinda implied #but i mean i guess tagging it makes it obvious huh #wait nevermind i reminded myself of the suicide? like from bsd? post I don't want to kms anymore

[be-gay-do-crime-ahaha]

Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #sensory processing disorder #tw emetophobia #for the nausea mention #idk if that’s needed or not #but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind #it’s so over #lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit #and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role #even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now #and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well #so that’s not helping #and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman #and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses #(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient) #and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine” #like fucking hell #shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once #man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit #and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks #and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the #stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit #I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about #it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed #to bring myself to start working on it #and things are just gonna get more and more difficult #so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys #did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress #tw suicidal thoughts

[clarabow-mp3]

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#um. idk how to tag this. #ed mention #? #weight tw #anyway. #i've lost soooo much weight the last few weeks my jeans are getting too small. these are children's jeans. #i went into this year wanting to finally GAIN weight and yet! the universe had other ideas lmao!!!!!!! #i've just been so stressed and anxious and upset that i don't feel like eating. for a while there it was so bad i physically couldn't. #add to that the physical activity i do bc i can't drive so i walk everywhere AND i went to a concert like. ugh. #i know i just need to eat and keep eating but i don't want to like i need to eat lunch soon but every possible food option feels repulsive #UGGGGHHHHHH HELP #maybe i should talk to my doctor idk

[edith-is-a-cat]

Fuck.

I wish I could help.

#lmao hey tumblr vent post time #vent mostly in the tags #tw sucidal ideation #sucide attempt #< not from me from a friend #I won't be naming them since y'know privacy and all that jazz #but it's an online I fucking love them so much #and I don't know how to help #i don't know them as well as i did my previous best friend since we aren't really close #i and others have been trying to get them to stop trying as they document it in vent #ive been doing my best but i don't know what else to say since im just an online friend no one to really be attached to #online acquaintance would be a better term for me ig.. idk #I think the other have been/are suicidal so they are much better than me for helping #and im just some guy who can't relate so i don't know how to help.. #im so upset that i can't bc what if they do i can't stop them #reason number 9 to be able teleport to prevent a suicide and be a better support system #im too silly to be of good use litterally told them if they do and when i die in my 40s ill lecture them like a mom #wish i could lecture them like a mom rn #im going to cry in the attic or something i feel like my brain is pre grieving or something #no im not putting my organizing tag on this feels too ..wrong

[izzy-b-hands]

Let myself try one (1) edible (like a 5 mg tiny candy) to see if my T break needs to restart or not and

it doesn't. that much is for sure. im good again there.

but also, it has me v open emotionally, and i just realised im crying as i write this latest fic

Ramble abt the fic draft below the cut, tw for talking abt a severe allergic reaction in some detail and for emetophobia

told myself I'd see how I do writing out my last horrible allergic reaction but with Frenchie and the peanut paste and some ouizzy to try and process that whole experience of mine a bit more and uh. despite having attempted to do this before, apparently i somehow still haven't really processed much at all how bad it was. Maybe it's bc I'm literally like. Giving every small detail damn near, vs the last time when it was more of a general mention in a fic with less detail overall. I even looked up the selfie I took from that night just to see if i could tell how bad it was and uh. eyelids swell up a lot. and lips. and i know im white as fuck, but apparently i can get even paler in specific situations. forgot how bad the hives were too, but i can see them on my shoulder in the pic like. jfc lmao.

and it all came back, how fucking cold I was (like painfully cold, I couldn't stop shivering and it hurt almost) and how after it made me sick enough to bring up what little I'd had that day, allergens included lol, all I wanted to do was rest my eyes. We had called the nurse line for the nearby hospital by that point, and i remember her telling my mum not to let me sleep, make me talk, make me move if possible and to get to the ER asap. So that's. something for my brain to chew on. But good details for the fic.

Yeah so Frenchie's going through it in this fic, but he's gonna be okay, and Izzy's finally confessing he loves him during it all. Roach is also getting to invent epinephrine which i know is like lab synthesised but shhhh. he's just a very good doctor and knows how to somehow synthesise it in one of the tubs on the ship so it can be injected. don't worry abt the details. im not, at least not those details lmao.

#text post #tw allergic reaction #tw emetophobia #tagging those to b safe #it's been three years since this reaction as of dec 7th and i should be over it #maybe it's bc my therapist allowed me to just. avoid talking abt it. #maybe it's bc it's one of the worst I've been alone for most of the time (prior ones i was a kid) #and that it got made clear to me after that it was Close and had i waited any longer i would have had at least a day's stay in the hospital #if i had survived at all lmao #idk but goddamn my brain will not let the memories of this particular allergic reaction go and i wish they would. #maybe the fic will help

[1lvaites]

         [     ...     ]            it’ll      𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲   𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭      if    you       𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆       it    all.          but    what       matters       is      that       you’ve      had      it       at       𝐨𝐧𝐞    𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭.        [  independent    multimuse    by    macy.  ]

#indie lit rp #indie tw rp #indie crime rp #indie deadly class rp #indie animated rp #indie t100 rp #indie legacies rp #indie grishaverse rp #idk im just tagging whatever help lmao #𝒔𝒑. ⊹ ₊ * ‹ ooc › #n e wayz hello i finally made a multi promo after two years

[mosspapi]

Spending my last day in residence laying in the dark trying not to pass out or throw up. As upsetting as this is, it's also extremely fitting for the fuckin year I've been having. Jesus fuckin Christ

#idk man it's 8:50pm and I just got hit with a massive wave of depression lmao #like. I thought going to uni would help me gain some independence. I'd b able to go places and do things and meet ppl and have fun. #pretend to be normal for the first time in my life. and for one year I had that. and it's all just been taken away from me #I wanted to go to the queer arts club. visit the farmers market and goth store. sit in the parks. experience being a human. #I haven't done anything that isn't schoolwork or medical in months. I've barely gotten out of bed. #I wanted so desperately to finally be out of my abusive parents constant supervision and now I'm even more reliant on them than before. #idk man I've been having an Awful time since September and it's only gotten worse since December and I can't take it much more #I lived here so I could try to meet ppl and do things and get out of my comfort zone. I haven't spoken to another human in months. #and now I'll never get to. #idk dude it's just. I have a lot of feelings suddenly and I don't like any of them n I wanna relapse so bad but I'm physically too tired to #armchair speaks #vent post #tw vent #tw sh in tags