#idk what tagging etiquette is for stuff like this

[brupro]

Fugo Joins the Gang

Word count: 1,521

Summary: set sometime in 1999. Bruno recruits a 14 year old Fugo & Prosciutto is not impressed. CW for light violence -? (There's some grabbing and shoving)

“Prosh? We're back,” Bucciarati called as he unlocked the door to the shared apartment. He didn't always call to his boyfriend when he came home, the two usually went about their independent days alongside each other; but Bucciarati brought company today.

“We?” Prosciutto’s voice came from the kitchen, followed by the sound of his coffee mug clinking against the table. “Who do you have with you?”

Bucciarati hung his coat by the door, then nodded for the boy beside him to do the same. He politely shook his head, and Bucciarati simply led him through the doorway where Prosciutto was now waiting.

The blonde man sitting at the table sat up straight in his seat as they entered. His expression soured slightly — hardly noticeable, unless one was looking — as his eyes raked over the boy's face and frame. He was kind of short, and very scrawny, and blonde. Most importantly, though, the person Bucciarati had brought into their apartment was a child. There were no two ways about it.

The boy didn't introduce himself, so Bucciarati spoke up.

“This is Pannacotta Fugo. He's going to be working with me now, so I... I told him he could stay with us for a bit,” he said plainly, stepping aside so Fugo could step into the kitchen properly.

Fugo stuck out his hand to shake, but the blonde man wasn't even looking at him. He kept his cold eyes on Bucciarati as his face cycled through every flavor of disappointment Fugo had ever seen.

“It really is lovely to meet you,” Prosciutto said, and his tone was a little too sweet for the face he was trying so hard not to make. It was almost patronizing. “Pannacotta? That's a beautiful name. I have to talk to Bucciarati in the other room for a minute, we'll be right back.”

He didn't give Fugo any time to answer before he was dragging Bucciarati away by the elbow. Bucciarati shoved him away after two feet, but still went along. Their heels clicked in time out of the kitchen and faded down the hallway.

Fugo just sighed and sat on the counter. No matter where he was, his appearance always seemed so controversial. Maybe Bucciarati's friend here heard about the court case. Maybe he caught wind of this purple thing Fugo was stuck with now. That same thing manifested in the kitchen with him, like it was trying to keep him company. He didn't send it away.

Prosciutto caught Bruno’s arm again as they turned into the bedroom and kicked the door closed behind him. Bruno frowned and tried to pull free, but Prosciutto was still holding on tight. He narrowed his eyes at Bruno, glare deadly serious. Bruno quit struggling.

“Are you fucking joking? Bringing him around here like that?” Prosciutto said in a harsh whisper. Bruno’s eyebrows knitted together in a look of confusion, but he didn’t respond immediately. Prosciutto’s face fell for just a second as he realized that maybe Bucciarati didn’t see the issue here. He spoke more softly, but still held the other man in place. “Bru, he’s a kid. He shouldn’t be here.”

Bucciarati swallowed thickly, but he kept that same look of steel. He was used to gangsters getting in his face. This wasn’t that different. He finally managed to pull his arm free with a grunt.

“He’s a college student,” Bucciarati said plainly. “Pre-law. He’s educated, and very articulate, and he—”

“How old is he?”

A pause.

“I said, how old?”

“Fourteen.”

“Bruno...” Prosciutto sighed. Bruno’s expression never changed, never wavered. His blue eyes held that same ice.

Prosciutto hated it.

He hated that Bruno knew just how to get under his skin. He hated that he acted so well as a brick wall. He absolutely hated when Bruno refused to see he was wrong. Another moment of silence passed between them before he grabbed him by the sleeve again. “Send him home, Bru.”

“What home?” Bruno snapped. “He’s living in the streets and starving. Is that the kind of thing you want me to send him ‘home’ to? Am I supposed to just leave him in the same gutter I found him in?” His voice shook, but Prosciutto couldn’t tell if it was anger or he was about to burst into tears.

“You didn’t have to take him in. You aren’t a nun, Bucciarati, it isn’t your job,” he said sternly. “You can’t keep him like he’s some kind of pet—”

“He isn’t a pet.” Bruno scowled. “And this isn’t some sort of charity. Don’t be so ridiculous. He’s smart, he’s well spoken, he’s passed Polpo’s test...”

“He’s a kid.” Prosciutto was very firm in his stance.

“He's staying here, Prosh. I'm not throwing him back out like that. He needs food, he- he needs something. Our couch is a hell of a lot better than some disgusting alleyway.”

“You're trying to keep him safe or something?” Prosciutto scoffed. “How long until that kid has a gun pointed in his face? Or worse? You can't actually think this was ever a good idea.”

“I was his age when I first joined Passione. Younger, even. He isn’t incapable.”

“So shouldn’t you know better than anyone?” He caught Bruno in a harsh stare, and a heavy silence fell over them. It was as if all of the air in the world stopped moving. “Shouldn’t you know how badly this fucks a kid like that up?”

Bruno said nothing. Their blue eyes stayed locked in an icy gaze, like if one of them backed down even a little, the other's look would swallow him whole. He pulled his arm free once again and something in his expression broke. Anger oozed through the cracks in his cool until it had soaked his whole face.

“Get out,” he demanded after a few tense minutes. Prosciutto stayed staring. “Did that sound like a joke? Get the hell out of my apartment before you’re leaving in an ambulance.” He reached around the blonde to open the door for him, and was hastily pushing him through almost immediately. Prosciutto grunted as he was led out.

“Alright, I get it. You don’t have to put your hands on me.”

“Just shut up,” Bruno muttered. “This is fucking ridiculous, I’m not being spoken to like that in my own home.”

Fugo heard the heels clicking back toward him, then past him and he looked up to see the blonde man grabbing his coat. He looked into the kitchen and gave another one of those disgustingly sweet fake smiles. It made Fugo want to turn in on himself until he disappeared. Prosciutto didn't seem to pick up on this, or if he did, he didn't really care.

“Sorry about that. We’ll have to meet some other time.”

“Mmh,” Fugo grunted quietly. Bruno started counting down from five, and Prosciutto was gone. The apartment didn’t feel any lighter.

Bruno sighed as the door finally closed, and leaned against it for a good minute. It was only after he calmed down that he remembered Fugo still all alone in the kitchen.

He came back into the room as Fugo pulled that wretched thing back inside of him. Bruno didn't speak just yet, only came to sit beside Fugo on the counter. He sighed.

A beat passed, and Fugo worked up the nerve to ask, “Did he leave because of me?” Bruno's face softened immediately as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

“No, no he didn't. He left because he's a—”

“I heard you arguing,” Fugo said flatly. “He's angry that you brought me home.”

This made Bruno pause. What Fugo said was right, but it wasn't his fault Prosciutto left. Bruno did kick him out, after all. He bit his lip.

“Well, yes, but he's angry with me, not with you. Prosciutto is very... rigid, though I have no doubts he'll come around to you. As long as he can stay around long enough to know you...” He muttered the last part to himself, mostly. Fugo nodded, swung his feet where he sat. They were quiet for another minute.

“Isn't... well, doesn't he live here too?” Fugo asked. Bruno chuckled, but he didn't sound very amused. He closed his eyes.

“Yeah, he does... I wouldn't worry about him, though. I'm sure he's got more than enough places to spend the night.” Fugo nodded again.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be!” Bruno said quickly. “It isn't your fault. It's his. Or mine. I don't know,” he admitted. “But it's nothing you did, I can promise that. I can tell you're going to be a very important addition to our team. I meant it when I said that.”

Fugo went quiet again, so Bruno slid off the counter to face him. He wasn't really sure what to do now; this meeting was less than ideal, but he still wanted Fugo to feel comfortable, especially after what he'd been through.

“I'll go get the extra blankets,” Bruno said as he turned to leave. “You, uh... you come out of the kitchen when you're ready, alright?” Fugo grunted in response, and Bruno was gone, too.

#brupro #jjba fanfic #jjba #idk what tagging etiquette is for stuff like this #jjba prosciutto #bruno bucciarati

[jq37]

Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney. 

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes. 

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie. 

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky. 

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it. 

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it. 

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie. 

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo. 

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character. 

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie. 

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here. 

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie. 

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude. 

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard. 

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was. 

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh. 

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math. 

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy. 

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon. 

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that. 

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy. 

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger. 

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves! 

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster? 

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago. 

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise). 

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors. 

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie. 

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny. 

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely  POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it. 

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along. 

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad. 

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), ���Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable. 

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line. 

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax. 

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward. 

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on. 

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.  

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that. 

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however. 

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never. 

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further. 

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE. 

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that. 

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it). 

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre. 

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation. 

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact. 

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl). 

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt. 

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves. 

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else. 

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling. 

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience. 

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious. 

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out. 

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense. 

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom)  in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks. 

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX. 

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat. 

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now! 

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding! 

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don���t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif! 

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities. 

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good! 

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it. 

#disney's wish #asks #jamiebluewind #sorry this got so long I just find this movie so fundamentally flawed #idk what the current tag etiquette is for stuff like this so I'm gonna cover my bases #disney criticism #disney critical #wish criticism #wish critical #if you liked the movie this isn't an attack and I'm glad you had a good time

[musclesandhammering]

If shippers are making you this pissed off, you need to stop interacting with them instead of being so fucking negative.

And if seeing negativity makes you pissed off enough to anonymously (lmao) send me a message about it, you need to adjust your filters accordingly to avoid posts that are specifically tagged as anti from blogs that have anti right in the name 🤷‍♀️

#and I don’t interact with them #I have the ship tags blocked on here but half of the time y’all don’t even have the tumblr etiquette to tag your ships #and there’s not really any way to avoid stuff like that on Twitter aside from blocking everyone that posts shipping stuff (which I do) #and as I a rule I don’t get pissed off about fictional stuff in my real life #this is a hobby #these websites are for consuming and discussing media for entertainment #and sometimes that includes being critical of parts of media #and if you’re one of those fans that’s so childish that you can’t handle anyone ever being negative about the Thing you like #well then #maybe find a children’s version of this app? idk what to tell you #anons like you annoy the hell out of me #and the fact that you’re such a scaredy ass weirdo that you do it on anon? lol #lord have mercy #anon #fandom wank #anti lokius #anti sylki #antisylki #loki series negativity #loki

[theminecraftbee]

I'm really glad to have found the Hermitcraft fandom here on Tumblr, I've been a long time fan and it's awesome to discover all this great fanart and content and stuff. Any must-follow MCYT/Hermitcraft/Minecraft blogs?

oh gosh, welcome! in general i am BAD about remembering who i follow and who i don't; a great way to find who you want to follow might be to just go through the #hermitcraft tag and follow people you find funny, or, heck, if i reblog a lot of art from a certain artist you like (or not a lot, like one art even), go follow them!

while we're here, a few additional general etiquette rules (keeping in mind that like, this is tumblr, trying to claim ANYTHING is a whole-community norm is basically impossible i am claiming a norm from my specific circle of guys): do not crosstag, only tag things that are actually in your post. don't use the 'minecraft' tag, that tag is for people who like the actual game. (i mean, you can use it if you are posting about minecraft, but not if you're posting about the youtubers). it's generally considered rude to put your crit in the main tags, especially without tagging 'discourse' somewhere so it can be filtered. shipping should generally have a 'hermitshipping' tag on it for filtering purposes as well, but if something is tagged hermitshipping and you're mad about it just like, block them, they did the important part.

the hermits i know of on tumblr (could be more, idk): @/joehills @/pearlescentmoo @/falsesymmetry @/therealdocm77 (not actually active but has the account) @/geminitayyt. cleo also had an account but it is no longer active. also @/inthelittlewood is here and like very active, as is @/askzloyxp and @/quinnhills. as a general etiquette rule, just... act like they're perfectly ordinary tumblr users and continue your business as usual! and don't send them weird asks or anything.

off the top of my head, a few blogs i like, an EXTREMELY non-exhaustive list, find your own guys out there as well you won't regret it! like, you will find the experience you like best just going out there and looking for it yourself! i've absolutely missed a bunch of guys i love, let alone guys you would love! this is like 10 million percent non-exhaustive, i follow 1,570 blogs apparently, many of which aren't hermitcraft or mcyt related, but many of which are, so i just sorta. went for it. and when i was having trouble remembering if a name was a repeat that's when i stopped. so. non-exhaustive list:

@nightshadeowl, @jestroer, @astronomodome, @kingtheghast, @floweroflaurelin, @roenais, @silverskye13, @wasyago, @rusty-courage, @art-by-fate, @silverskye13, @redstonedust, @betweenlands, @sixteenth-days, @judas-iscaryot, @terracottakore, @cherrifire, @antimony-medusa, @hybbart, @made-nondescript, @luigra, @cuteiemonster, @mawofthemagnetar, @potionofinstantdamage, @concorp, @spiderziege, @salemoleander, @bc-jpeg, @magicalmanhattanproject, @simplydm, @12u3ie, @mishapen-dear, @lunarblazes, @girltimeswithscar, @kishdoodles, @quaranmine, @shadeswift99, @bdoubleowo, @quicksandblock, @beacon-lamp, @kikunai, @sideblague, @applestruda, @ingapotejtoo, @belmarzi, @strifetxt

anyway FEEL FREE TO PROMO GUYS OR YOURSELF ON THIS POST TOO! from what i understand we may be getting some new guys sometime soon here from the twitter lands? so it may be helpful to have that for anyone who's looking for new guys to follow!

and most of all: WELCOME!!!

#answered #i DEFINITELY MISSED ABOUT A MILLION BELOVED MUTUALS AND IM SO SORRY #I JUST. I STARTED TO RUN OUT OF ABILITY TO TELL IF ID ALREADY LISTED ONE OF YOUR BLOGS #PRETTY SURE I ACCIDENTALLY DOUBLED SOMEONE ALREADY. #also i am so sorry none of these links work. see when i tried to publish this ask originally tumblr decided that it couldn't actually #so i had to copy-paste it and try again. #anyway WELCOME I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR PEOPLE! :D #also if you don't wanna be on this post let me know and i'll remove you and also i'm sorry

[cyrusthedragon]

Gentleman

Teen And Up Audience

Let's talk about Simon Riley being a gentleman for you but not the way we usually think about gentlemen.

Relationship: Simon "Ghost" Riley / f!Reader

Tags: domestic fluff, no "Ghost", established relationship, married couple, playful bullying, newborn children, Simon Riley being BIG and SOFT (and bullied), husband material

Please, comment if you liked it, it means a lot to me!

Notes:

Reader is from a rich family, but still joined the military

Reader and Simon serve(d) together

Simon Riley without his mask

AO3

Stand up so you can sit down; take off your outer clothes; pull up a chair for you; kiss the back of your hand; do not raise voice at you; if you walk on the sidewalk, then stand by the road; make sure you feel comfortable when you go out; if you bend over to pick up something under the table, then cover the corner of the table with his hand; lay his head on your shoulder just because; make two cups of tea anyway; try to say when he feels uncomfortable (not just swallow it cuz he don't wanna bother you! mister it's-not-that-deep); talk with you when something is wrong; when you look good — say out loud that you look good; ask if you need some help and actually help you, massage your tired feet.

Yeah, he doesn't really know about the etiquette and other stuff, but he knows exactly how to cherish you, trying so hard to give you that normal life he knows you deserve, even though he's so dumb that he didn't really understand you do not need 'normal life', you're as battle-scarred as he is, you just need life with him. Civilian or not, you don't give a damn about it, maybe he didn't know how to use that god-awful melon spoon, but it's okay as long as he is happy, cuz the melon spoon never was so necessary. You just love watching him, so clumsy with small and delicate things, that you can't help but just stay silent and admire how he's trying to deal with that nappy for your tiny little newborn baby daughter, who literally can completely fit in two his palms.

He was big compared to normal guy, was huge compared to you, and now he's damn giant compared to your daughter.

"Fatherhood suits you," you said, looking at him from the threshold, and laughed when he literally shuddered. The man on purpose lowered his guard down, 'cause he felt himself safe with you. Both of you, now.

"The hell are you tolkin' about... Help me instead, I can't understand how this shit works.." grumpy, messy, baby powder on his cheek, brows furrowed. If Johnny saw him right now, he'd definitely shit his pants from how scary Simon looked at that poor nappy, like it, idk, killed his beloved puppy. But as how scary it was for everyone esle, as much it was funny for you; you couldn't resist your laugh coming out, trying to hide your face with your palm, when he looked at you as severely as physically possible.

And blushed.

"Shut up."

You smiled at him widely, coming closer: "I said nothing, baby." but that wasn't true. Technically, that wasn't a lie, too. You said a lot of things, but not with words. "You can't handle one diaper?"

"I didn't say I can't handle it, dammit," he groaned, focussing on swaddling the baby who couldn't stop giggling and twitching from side to side; you rested your elbow on his shoulder, and he theatrically sighed, looking at his daughter: "Rocket fuel in your veins..." and, stooping to kiss her on her belly, added: "Just like your mother."

"I don't get it, are you bullying her?" before he realized it, you pucked girl up. She giggled, sucking on her own petit fingers, moving her legs. "You're bullying my daughter, Simon?"

"Oh goodness, love..." he clicked, you cackled, holding baby closer and moving two steps away from him, "you wanna start a fight now?"

"I don't", but considering how you smiled and looked at your daughter's very pleased reaction, you obviously wanted this: "Do you?"

"I don't," he answered, "but if you're going to continue whatever you're doing, I'm-"

"You what?" and you moved the child in your arms accompanied by her contented laughter, so Simon could see it:

You sly thing.

He can't do with you anything when you're holding the baby.

"What, you swallowed your tongue, darling?" your footsteps were coming closer to the living room, and he followed at your heels, looking almost the same as on the military, about to scold one of his soldiers. "Love..." almost growled, making the baby laugh harder, clapping; the fluff on her head swayed when you moved left and right, skirting the furniture: "Love?" you repeated after him, looking directly into his eyes without a single blink, "Now I'm love?"

"You always were my love..."

"No, five seconds ago you were threatening me!" you smiled, moving your gaze to your daughter. "He was threatening your mama, sunshine, look at him!"

"No-o!" Simon exclaimed, holding out his hands to the little one, "Princess, don't listen to her! She's lying! She was bullying me!"

"Bullying you? How can I bully you? I'm a victim here!"

"You're not!"

"Of course I am, princess saw how you were telling me you're going to do something!-" laughter, quick steps, radio talking in the kitchen, child's giggle, Simon's sighs, and two grown-ass adults argument in which each of you tried to convince a three-month-old child which of you is really a victim.

Was that the life you were expecting from joining the military?

No.

That was the life that Simon Riley gave you without your request. He just was there, silently, very bad at any good feelings, not knowing what exactly to say or how to act in some situations, learning from you by just watching how you talked with everyone, and simply remembering small things. From small things about how to interact with people, who are not broken as fu-. Ahem. To small things about you, and one day he understood — you became his healing pill. Somehow, by doing literally nothing, only existing in the same universe as him, winking to him, talking to him — actually talking, not just having some nonsense chat about the weather or your job, but discussing with him, asking about his opinion, you became a person who was so damn comfortable to him, that he couldn't deny how he's attached to you anymore.

This man appeared in your life like a silent company, then your partner on missions, then your partner for life, then your husband, and then the father of your child.

And now you were testing his limits, 'cause you wanted so.

This girl in your hands — she was the third most precious woman in his life, after his mother and you, and you knew exactly what you were doing by teasing him, not letting him go closer to you, or take her from your hands.

"What? What? Wanna say you're not bullying me? Princess, look-"

"No, princess, don't. Look at your daddy, daddy loves you, daddy would never bully your mommy."

"Liar!"

And then once again: he sighs, you giggle, baby girl made her baby sound, and the three of you were whirled around the house, from room to room, until finally, he cornered you. Literally. You pressed yourself into the corner of the bedroom with your whole body, never stop smiling, but knowing for sure that this man would not leave it so easily. You blinked, he towered over you like a mountain, put his hand on the wall and you automatically bit your lower lip, chuckling: "Are we like... In some kind of third-rate young adult drama?"

"Give her to me. Now."

A hoarse, hot, deep voice sounded right in front of you. His blue eyes into yours, and you had to tilt your head to keep eye contact, but it was completely worth it.

"Or what?" you whispered; the little one's eye's shifted from you to her father, from him to you again, Simon leaned over to you, and before this whole situation started to get too spicy, you quickly gave him the child and came out from under his quite skillful confident kabe-don. Ah, but you remember times when he was too shy to kiss you... "You can have her," you said, looking innocent, watching him trying to handle girl as delicate as possible, hissing at your actions as if scolding because you simply cannot treat such tiny, fragile creatures like that.

You can break her!

He.

Scolding you.

For not being gentle.

He.

Holding her so, so gently, carefully, holding her head straight, because she didn't know how to do it yet, frowning at you, you, an irresponsible woman!

This behemoth of a man with such a little girl in his hands.

"She's already daddy's girl, isn't she?" You murmured. Simon put her on the changing pad, you followed him. "Try again," you said, when he took the open diaper.

He sucked air deep into his lungs and began to swaddle this little giggly monster.

Action after action, extreme care, total concentration, as if he was defusing a bomb, unblinking stare until the last details, and only when girl was laying there, completely swaddled, with a pacifier in her mouth, he exhaled, closing his eyes.

"Holy f-..."

"Good job! It was that hard, baby?" You chuckled, stroking his back, when he turned to you, hugging your waist softly. "No," he whispered, breathing in your scent, mixed with perfume and the smell of a hair conditioner, "I was trying not to hurt her. She's so tiny..."

Oh, that man drove you crazy.

The level of happiness in your blood exceeded all permissible norms, you pressed into him, cheek on his cheek for a second, and kissed his cheekbone, smiling like a fool.

Or it was just him?

Big protective fool, so scared to hurt his little daughter...

You love him like this: in your arms, mumbling about how afraid he is that one day he'll do something to her, due to miscalculated strength. You weren't afraid. You knew he simply won't let it happen.

"You wouldn't." You answered, gently running your fingers through his short blonde hair, "Wanna know why?"

Simon looked into your eyes, moving away a little, so you could see him properly: "Why?"

You smiled: "Because she's our daughter," and before he let himself relax, you added, grinning nastily: "If you'll ever try to hurt her, she'll kick your ass, like it's a fucking football, darling."

Well.

Maybe... Just maybe... Maybe he wasn't a liar...

Maybe you truly enjoyed bullying him, so he can "get angry" and finally shut you up with the most delicious kiss in the world.

Simon's lips pressed to yours, your hands over his hot red cheeks, because someone's still too easy to tease, his hands around your waist, just to be sure you're not going anywhere, your eyes closed so you can remember every moment, every note of his taste. And the softness, but the conference of his movements.

Simon Riley was the best example of the word "self-control".

You never saw an another man with such power over himself that he can hold the most fragile teacup tightly and not break it.

And he was afraid?

He?

Oh, you were planning to live a life beside him and for once and for all make him see how amazing he really was.

Yes, he doesn't have some fancy private university diploma, maybe he's not a philosophy Ph.D., but, god forgive me, was he less incredible because of it? Not even a little.

He doesn't know about a melon spoon, he doesn't really like all these luxurious restaurants, he can tell nothing about Gucci house, then fuck it, fuck it all, fuck the etiquette, fuck high table manners, fuck meticulous elegance, prim ideality — the way Simon kissed you, keep you close, the way he looked at you with his eyes go wild, the way he was sucking your scent, burying his face in your neck, after holding your common child, as if both of you were priceless treasures from the depths of the sea.

Squeezing you, carefully touching her chubby pink cheek with a pad of his finger, and slowly, lightly kissing the back of your hand, pressing her close while rocking.

Yeah, he wasn't a gentleman.

He didn't have a fantastic talent for anything, couldn't distinguish Manet from Monet, and mathematics wasn't one of his strengths.

But he had his stubbornness, willpower, desire, and love for work.

Simon Riley was a hard-worker.

And that's exactly what you love in him.

"We should..." you swallowed, licking your lower lip after that disastrous kiss he gave you, "We should go on a date..."

"Why so?" just his hoarse voice made you snuggle into him, hugging his neck so tightly, as if you wanted to kill him with your own hands — that's how much you loved him. But you did nothing.

Just breathing heavily, feeling him lift you by your hips, seating you on the windowsill in your bedroom. "Because," you murmured, smacking him on the lips, "I want you to eat molecular crap in your only black suit, and grumble that this berry foam is not a real food."

And when you laughed, already hearing his old man's grumbling, his huge hands grabbed your waist again, squeezing tightly, as if purposely ignoring your mouth-watering sides.

You told Simon last morning that even though it's been three months since you gave birth, your pelvis still hurts sometimes —

Oh.

What a gentle man he was...

Haha.

#ghost #ghost cod #ghost mwii #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x female reader #simon riley is a babygirl #ghost x f!reader #ghost x female reader #simon riley x f!reader

[thesweetnessofspring]

That post about Peeta and Katniss (and Finnick and Annie) only being in a relationship because of trauma is an odd take. Firstly, you could say this about any pairing in the series no? Gale and Katniss /literally/ only met and bounded due to trauma and survival, once that was gone so was their relationship. If Kantniss wanted to be with Peeta because of trauma, wouldn't she have, IDK, done that from the beginning? Like glued to him from the first games on? Or better yet, why didn't she trauma bound with Gale and get into a relationship since he was the first guy to bond with her over trauma, its almost like she has thoughts, feelings, and emotions that aren't dictated by trauma. I 100% think Katniss, Peeta, Annie, and Finnick probably had a harder time getting together and being together due to each of their respective traumas. Anyway, odd take, even weirder to tag Everlark just to get a start things.

(sorry for the rant, i had to talk it out and no one IRL would care)

No worries, this is why fan spaces exist, so we can talk about fandom stuff with people who get it and aren't just (at best) polite about it.

And as always, reminder that "trauma bond" is something an abuser does to the person they are abusing of perpetuating trauma to bind that person to them. It's not two people who went through a trauma together and have a bond.

Yes, I do think just about any pairing has similar traumas to one another/went through trauma together. And of course anyone is going to be close to someone who supported them and they helped support when going through a trauma. Not to say you need trauma to build a relationship, but simply that shared trauma can forge relationships.

Nor does shared trauma decide how that relationship gets manifested. Many soldiers who go through war together consider their fellow soldiers brothers/sisters. If Katniss had no romantic feelings toward Peeta, their bond would have stayed platonic. And Peeta followed through on being a platonic support per Katniss's nonverbal language after Gale's whipping, even after she sniffed his hand and told him to stay with her. The Quell makes them both let go of concerns about a future they won't have and they veer romantic, but once again he's always following her lead.

Whereas Gale is assuming the romantic lead. He ambush kisses her when she gives no indication that's what she wants. He guilts her into agreeing to give him a chance. He gets pissy Katniss wants to bring Peeta and Haymitch to what he thought was going to be their wedding and honeymoon in the forest. And when Katniss was weeks away from going into a death arena for the SECOND time he asks her where they'd be if Peeta had been a jerk and died. In MJ everything he does is to try and one-up Peeta by acting a hero and "convince" Katniss that he loves her (like that's what their issue was???). And despite their shared trauma and all of his insistence on being romantic, she still is not attracted to him! Because she was never going to have romantic feelings for him.

And it's not like Odesta or Everlark sped-run their romances. Finnick says Annie "crept up on me" and Everlark "grew back together" in addition to the nearly two years the books take course over.

It's against etiquette for sure to put in the tag, but who really understands the mind of an internet troll?

#everlark #odesta

[hemipenal-system]

👋 some words at the beginning (subject to change)

this is a nsfw blog. minors ily but you gotta fuck off this isn’t for you. also dni if you’re homophobic, a pedo, or a zoo.

also 35+ probably not you either for the time being unless you're an account that's interacted with me a few times yk

new addendum as of 11/17/23: given what i learned about how utterly useless the block function on here is, which you can and should read here, the situation mentioned below with explicit content will be the only reason i block a blog in order to maintain my posts staying within their intended audience of legal adults. this rule will continue until i am made aware that the errors in the block function have been corrected.

posts here may include: bondage, primal stuff, petplay, praise/degradation, monsterfuckery, furry content, vore, breeding (but not pregnancy), (soft) cnc, all kinds of weird physical/mental shit

posts here will not include: scat, (human) feet (there may be rare mention of monster feet), vomit, harder cnc

kinks (on my own posts only) will be tagged for ease of blacklisting. if i miss one please gently lmk it was likely an accident. reblogs are usually not tagged. you can read more about tagging policy here

ask etiquette: send me things! be nice though! also please no overtly sexual images of real people but other images are fine. i also love being tagged in things. i almost never rp with people though, if you have to ask if i’m comfortable doing that with you the answer is probably no.

new, likely indefinite addendum on the above point: if i open your blog and am immediately slammed with very very explicit untagged/flagged genitalia photos that may well constitute a block just heads up

i’m trans, so a significant portion of my content is gonna be aimed at trans people! misgendering me/characters is an instant block. we don’t fw that.

please send asks i adore them!

longer fiction under the cut (this will have a better system eventually)

i think that’s everything! have fun!

longer stuff:

dragon/human, m/f, oral, soft oral vore

mimic, fatal vore (idk why this one renders weird)

the kinktober posts:

teratovember:

#housekeeping

[autistichalsin]

Hello!! :D

Just popping in to say ILYSM (in that strange, mutuals on the internet sorta way) and that you have lots of fans who love your Halsin-posting. Your post notifications always brighten my day. ❤️

Idk why in the world you’ve got people investing their finite existence on this good Earth giving you grief. Some of your stuff might not be everyone’s cup of tea (pleasing everyone is an impossibility, after all), but it doesn’t even come close to the kinds of things my favourite hardcore/“problematic” (<= self-described, including the quotations, lmao!) Halsin/bg3 writers and artists post. And I don’t see anyone clutching their pearls in their comment sections.

Like, when I click on the profile of one of my favourite writers (which includes you! 🥰 But not this example, I love all your stuff!) and see that they’ve posted a story with a description like: “hardcore kinky stuff that you’re not into, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”, I simply keep scrolling and maybe pick one of the hundreds to thousands of other bg3 stories I could choose from. But maybe that’s just me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Ao3 has tag filtering, you guys, it’s amazing. Remember the fucking Dark Ages when Ao3 didn’t have that at all? How tf did we ever live like that? That’s the kind of shit you say Thanks for at family Thanksgiving. And don’t tell you guys haven’t figured out at least one of the dozens of ways to filter stuff out on godsdamn Tumblr of all places; we’ve been tweaking the etiquette of that for years!)

How utterly irrational it is for these people to look at such an openly Queer and Kinky video game — the likes of which I’ve never seen in the mainstream before (He-llo strategically advantageous BDSM scene! 🤤) — and decide that they’re going to go around policing how people iterate upon those pre-established themes. How did this fandom attract puritans of all people? [Insert “The Myth of ‘Consensual’ Sex” meme here.]

Any-hoosies, all this to say that your haters are a weird, vocal minority that are letting you live rent free in their heads, instead of doing something meaningful or joyful with their pathetic, puritanical existences. There are way more people who love the kind of meta and fics that you post.

Have a good day!! XOXO 🥰😘💋💖💛🫶🤙

Hello! Thank you so much- that means a lot to me. It's weird to think of myself having "fans" lol! Like you're not the first person to use that word but it's just. Such a weird (in a good way) concept for me???? Like!?!?!? But I'm so glad to hear you love my posts <3

Yeah, pleasing everyone is impossible, and it's weird that of all things, my extremely mild CNC kink fic has become the antis' boogeyman. Fam there is literal necrophilia kink in this fandom! (Not saying they deserve to be harassed either, of course, no one should be!) But the fic that has become the pinnacle of what's problematic in this fandom is a survivor writing about a fictional survivor using kink to reclaim their sexuality? Like. OK Jan

See, but that's the difference, you're a grown adult who takes responsibility for curating your experience, whereas others.... either don't, or they don't read it but act like the fic EXISTING is a problem. I guess some people are in for a rude awakening when they discover who the Marquis de Sade is......

God, remember BEFORE AO3? Remember FFN when half the time, the PAIRING wasn't even properly tagged bc you could only tag two characters at all, so people would by default just tag the most popular characters to appear in the story? And instead of tags, you had genres, so you had to decide if you wanted romance/hurt/comfort or friendship/tragedy or what? (I'm a certified Fandom Old- on my old account I was in the first 10,000 users on AO3).

Yeah, people really are missing the point of this game- and it's no coincidence most of these folks are younger. (And a lot are exclus too; I've seen them get angry at the BG3 characters being canonically pan, saying that "pansexuality is a made-up Tumblr sexuality). So... totally blind to the interwoven history of queerness and kink. Not surprising.

Thank you so much for this kind message, anon, you cheered me up a lot. <3 I hope you have a great day!

#discourse

[starry-bi-sky]

Miscellaneous things from my “Danny Fenton is Thomas Wayne” au (a better au name to follow)

When Bruce was younger/learning to talk, he couldn’t pronounce his name correctly. When Danny was teaching him his name, he’d say “Booce” so Danny started call him “Boo” as a nickname. Danny still calls him “Boo” as his main nickname as Bruce gets older.

When Bruce was a little older, Danny would take him out to the balcony or sneak him up to the rooftop so that they could look at the stars together. Danny told Bruce that if he ever felt alone and Danny wasn’t there to be with him, just look at the stars, Danny will always be with him.

Danny likes making things. He’s a tech whizz like Tucker and the two of them love to create ideas together and try and make them. After he gets adopted, Danny has a lot more access to making gadgets and gizmos. He doesn’t really sell them unless he thinks they’ll help the world be better, or because its harmless.

When Danny was adopted, he didn’t tell his friends until the Waynes asked what he wanted to do to ‘debut’ himself. (They figured that the world and press would find out about him eventually, might as well make an impression) And Danny thought, regrettably, that some sort of party would be best for him to make connections. So the Waynes taught Danny etiquette and other stuff that would help him, and then sent the invitations out.

He asked them to invite the Mansons, so they did. Then texted Sam about it and asked her to attend, and possibly bring Tucker if she could. Safe to say the day of the party, when Danny got introduced, he could feel Sam glaring holes into his head. It was totally worth it. (Bruce was being taken care of back home, which Danny fretted about the entire time. He kept having to convince himself not to leave early.) He was sorely tempted to invite Vlad to see his face.

Speaking of Vlad, he has no idea that Danny changed his name. He didn’t think Danny would do that, he just thought he ran away or left town. And its not like any of his friends would tell Vlad. He doesn’t know that Danny’s changed his name until the headlines about the new Wayne Heir come out.

After Danny was adopted, he started self-teaching himself business and other stuff that would help him learn how to run Wayne Industries. He did it in secret so that he could surprise his new parents.

Also about Martha — I’m not making Sam the Martha Wayne equivalent. Amethyst Ocean really isn’t my thing, so Martha Wayne is either going to be a separate character that Danny genuinely falls in love with. OR Danny’s just gonna remain a single dad.

Danny has somewhat retired ‘Phantom’ / his ghost form. Or at least he doesn’t transform into a ghost quite as often. Mainly because there’s no reason to, and also because Gotham doesn’t have nearly enough ambient ectoplasm to sustain Danny like in Amity. The only times he transforms is to have late night flights.

Sam and Tucker don’t call Danny by ‘Danny’, they call him Thomas or Tom. Tucker sometimes jokingly calls him Tommy.

More miscellaneous stuff to come lmfao

Taglist(?)

@blankliferain idk if this is what you meant by tag you but you didn’t specify if you wanted to be tagged for a fic or a post so I figured it wouldn’t hurt

@storm-and-fire same as above it might not be a fic but its a more info on the au?

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #danny phantom #bruce wayne #dp x dc au #danny ‘thomas wayne’ fenton au #dtwf au (?) hcs #danny fenton is thomas wayne #danny fenton is not the ghost king #for the sake of preventing confusion #danny is referred to as Danny in my posts #bees is another nickname danny gives bruce #because mispronouncing ‘bruce’ as ‘booce’ with a high pitched toddler accent #can make it sound similar to ‘bees’ #bruce 1yro: booce #danny: boo #danny: its my boo! #also ‘boo’ being bruce’s childhood nickname is funny to me because of Danny’s history with ghosts #and Bruce’s history with batman #one of these days i’ll make a post where Danny and Bruce meet the dc universe #i already have an idea for how it happens

[feedthefandomfest]

Hiya!

I love this blog and just wanted to ask- do you know any advice on formatting and tagging for AO3?

Or just general etiquette!!

I'm not new to AO3 (reading or writing) but I haven't interacted with the actual community much and would love to know more :)

oof, I still feel like a newbie posting stuff on ao3, and tagging is something i've always struggled with. and actually formatting is also on ongoing issue 😅 so with that in mind, here's what i try to consider:

TAGGING

relationships -> tagging the main is obvious, but i'm sometimes torn about tagging side relationships that feature in the fic, especially since it's annoying to be searching for that pairing and get a bunch of results where they're not the main focus; unless the other pairing is a prominent feature, i leave it out of the relationship tags and at most add it to the additional tags

characters -> i remember updating the character tags on my early fics every time another character popped up in the story, but now i'm of the same mind as the side pairing issue; unless the character is prominently featured, i leave them out of the tags

content warning/advertising -> if i know the fic features an element that some people might wish to avoid, i always tag it and also always fret that i've forgotten to tag something in that regard. when it's more about advertising what's in the fic, especially sexual content, i sometimes feel silly listing every flavor of physical encounter unless the fic is pwp/smut (in which case i gleefully list all the depravity); i sometimes worry that over-emphasizing the sexual content in the tags is misleading? like of this 100k fic, if 15k is spent fucking, how do i get the tags to reflect that while also tag cw appropriately? is there an established tag for that?

sometimes i see fics with TONS of tags, like an exhausting amount, and sometimes i see fics with very minimal tags... sometimes frustratingly few. i also know some writers add chapter-specific warnings in the author's notes. in the end, so long as you're making it possible for people to find or avoid your fic as needed, then you're good. Here are some good posts that dive into it more!

(i remember when people on tumblr would scold writers for monologuing in the tags on ao3 like we do on here, claiming it was a strain on the system, but i believe that's been debunked?)

FORMATTING

i've noticed some MEGA annoying quirks with copy & pasting over from Google Docs and Word, and I know there are some tricks to get around them, but i tend to just slog through the Rich Text window fixing everything manually 🙃 OKAY I FOUND SOLUTIONS LINKED BELOW.

spacing problem #1 -> pet peeve of mine, but i dislike it when the paragraphs have massive spaces between them (ditto for indented paragraphs). idk why, but it's tiring for my eyes to constantly leap the chasm between paragraphs. so whenever i copy and paste from Word, which for some reason ALWAYS appears with double spacing between line breaks, i go in and manually fix it. SOLUTION

spacing problem #2 -> when copying over from Google Doc, whenever there's a punctuation mark following an italicized word, a random space appears between them. and yep, i have to go in and fix every one because typos make me twitch. (this might not be an issue for everyone; i overuse italics and dashes like it's my job) SOLUTION

spacing problem #3 -> again probably a me issue, but i tend to include song lyrics a lot, and it's always a headache to format because when pasting from the doc, ao3 embeds these spaces between the lines that i can't remove by backspacing. only fix i've found is to copy and paste lyrics directly from a website, and then it formats fine. random and annoying and weird. (no solution 😔)

since this section has just been me whining about finding SOLUTIONS for formatting issues, i'll offer one tip that's more about general editing: i try to proofread best i can in Word/GDocs, but it's always easier to spot errors when i'm reading the draft on my phone. the typos always jump out at me from a phone screen. it's now my favorite way to edit!

every writer has their own preferences on formatting, and every reader has their own level of tolerance for formatting quirks. in the end, so long as the formatting doesn't interfere with the reading experience, you're all good.

#god and don't even get me started on summaries #i'm so bad at writing summaries #and coming up with titles #just the worst #those tend to plague me more than tagging #but tagging can also be tricky #like i want to crowdsource it or have an outside perspective just list the stuff in need of tags for me #fandom culture #ao3 etiquette #ao3 tagging #ao3 formatting #writer things

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

#asks

[oysterdelite]

hello sir, i honestly found ur blog thru a really nice horny post (gotta draft insane tags because waow) and rushed to your blog to follow and maybe even put more of your posts on my sideblog

but your latest post, the longer one about how u feel not really cares for in your own space really stopped me in my tracks

like i know you said in your intro and even in ur post that you're still welcoming subs to leave messages in your asks and even dms, but idk, just having my first interaction with your blog be a full on kittyboy sub hornydump felt really shitty

I'm really sorry u experienced uncomfortable or weird or creepy subs on here, leaving shit you don't want to engage and not caring about doms and tops, nor aftercare for them, i wish u only had interactions from subs n bottoms properly respecting others, although it's not really something on me or u or anyone other than them ehhh

sorry about getting rambly, I'm just sorry u have to deal with that, i wish i could do something to make u feel better or just less shitty, u seem really cool, outside of the kink space too (from ur intro)

i know this ask is way too long and mostly not really in the proper tone for an anon ask on a kink horny blog on tumblr, i don't expect you to answer it or even read it fully tbh i guess i just wanted to let u know that even tho i just found your blog properly, and not thru random reblogs from other, even tho we never interacted, i appreciate you as a top and person outside of kink horny stuff too? and i think u deserve better than creepy guys not even caring about aftercare or basic respect

can't really send asks from my kink sideblog, so ig I'll just sign it woth good old anon emoji hihi

Holy 🪽 (he/him)

Thank you for that! I really appreciate it :]

Honestly that post wasn’t from a place of “you guys suck and should be ashamed” but truly from a place of hope that kink spaces and kink blogs can be comfortable for everyone! I’ve curated this space in a particular way, and I’m very lucky that I have the option to not respond to certain asks or delete dms or not interact with blogs that say off putting things.

It’s hard to exist in a kink space as a dom or a sub because sadly, as with anything in life, there will be people who don’t act with comportment and are unable or unwilling to follow the etiquette laid out.

I cherish and enjoy a solid 98% of interactions that I have with people on this blog! But I think it’s also important to be transparent about my experiences. I know that there are other doms and tops out there just like me who are harassed or who are put in positions that are uncomfortable. It is my hope that speaking about what it’s like to be on the other end of that will allow us all the understanding that while we operate in different roles- we still have the same flesh and blood and sinew coursing through us. The same feelings that can get hurt. The same hope that we are respected and enjoyed not for what we’re offering or for our bodies or roles but simply because people enjoy the content we make and may also enjoy who we are.

I’m not going into this with the unrealistic expectation that everyone that reblogs my post wants to know more about me as a person. Hell, I reblog a bunch of posts from blogs that I never see again!

I enjoy being a kink blog, I enjoy the content I make, I enjoy the people I talk to, I enjoy the asks, the dms, (I enjoy the attention a hell of a lot lmao!) And I also enjoy the rules and limits that I have placed. I enjoy my personal space. I enjoy feeling safe. These things can coexist and should coexist.

And y’know what. I’m not angry at the people who are weird. Maybe it was a horny brain-addled misjudgment!

But kink spaces should be safe for everyone, and the more I talk about proper etiquette with doms and tops- the more bottoms and subs that follow me are able to understand our perspective and see us as human beings :]

Thank you for your ask, I appreciate it! And I appreciate you!

#t4t nsft #ftm dom #mlm nsft #t4t #ftm nsft #t4t mlm #trans nsft #t4t dom #oyster answers #nsft puppy #oyster says something serious

[lackablazeical]

WOAH, I really love ur Addams/rottmnt AU! I really love their designs, especially April and Mayhem's! few questions

why is mikey so feral in this AU

Whats raph like? he's always so quiet and Donnie looks like an evil scientist

LEOSAGI LEOSAGI LEOSAGI-

APIRIL AND MAYHEM YOOOOOOOOO

hows splints and casey(or Cassandra) in this au AKA Could you share some stuff on this beautiful au pls (don't mean to come off as demanding just in case XP)

OQNQOWJEOENDJF IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AAAAAA I FAINTED AGAINST MY ARMCHAIRS FR/POS

But yes I do have some answers for these!

1. Mikey is feral mostly bc he's very spoiled and he grew up In an environment that encouraged behavior like that! He is the 'Mama's boy' (in the AU, Splinter and Big Mama are canonically married, Splints still lives in the NY sewers, BM still in hidden city and her hotel), and BM definitely encourages his bad behavior. No one really tells him no, and he's an attention hog. He likes getting reactions so doing outlandish stuff and saying cruel things gets him that reaction! He's also an adrenaline junky and a pyromaniac, he'll put himself/others into danger for fun! Plus, BM DOES treat him like a pet, what do you expect. Boy is flea ridden/hj

2. Raph is very quiet and stoic! He still hates being alone, but he also definitely Dislikes being bothered, teased, or pranked. While the most outwardly 'chill', he's very quick to violence. He is the reason Leo has those bite/teeth marks on his shell! Raph bit him <3. His comfort item is Mrs. Cuddles and he always has her with him, which definitely makes it a target for Mikey shenanigans and such! He does still love hugs and snuggles tho, and likes bows, sewing, and cartoons! He doesn't talk much, and he especially won't if his brothers aren't around. He doesn't care much about anything, he's just along for the ride! The brothers often try to, like, 'sic' Raph on eachother by blaming things or just asking REALLLYYYYY nicely (also yes, Don is definitely a mad scientist. Please get him some lab safety etiquette at least some lab goggles)

3. LEOSAGI <3333333 ACTUALLY JUST MY COMFORT CHARACTERS I SWEAR. I have a writer friend who enjoys making small snippets of this AU, and I may ask her if I can post them here or if she would like to post them on A03? So yall can get even more content of the Boyz <3 (NewFallenLeaves on A03! Check out her ROTTMNT stuff, it's wonderful)

4. APRIL AND MAYHEM YES!!!!!! They are both definitely some of my favorite designs of this AU, April is just so beautiful and Mayhem is such a little Creatur. Babey demon demigorgon. Evil beast/pos (fun fact! Mayhems face can split apart in 4 different ways, one way looking like a demigorgon! I'll probably post that sketch sometime soon!)

5. Splinter is great! As Lou Jitsu, he was a film star who behind the scenes was involved in a lot of crime, especially back in Japan with things like the Yakuza. As a rat, he is VERY MUCH based on Gomez Addams. He's fun loving, caring, and loves a good spar session. He may be a bit neglectful of his boys (same as in canon) but he loves and accepts their weird and wacky behavior all the same.

This is his design! Some bits may change but as it stands I am happy w/ it! :D

He owns a decent of pieces of the Shredder Armour as, like, almost trophies? It also helps mean that the Foot will not build the Shredder fully, Aka none of that mess to deal with :]

As for Cassandra, she's not really in the AU at all! I just haven't really been able to think of much for her. As an antagonist, I didn't know whether to lean towards more Addams esque behavior or make her more 'normal' (as normal as she can be JSBSJEB) to have a type of parallel. Idk? Any suggestions and ideas for her would be welcome and I'd tag you if I ended up using/posting any of it!

As for extra content, tomorrow or in the next following days I will either post more random sketches, more Usagi lore (specifically his family) or maybe some finished refs? Whatever I feel like, so look for that >:]

#addams! tmnt au #MY FIRST EVER PROPER ASK IM SO HYPED <333 #rottmnt au #how do most ppl tag asks. hm

[tapejob]

help im from twitter and idk what im doing. how does hockey tumblr work

so you just fled hockeytwt - what now?

hey anon, welcome to hockeyblr! we're imo one of the best communities on tumblr and we're so glad to have you. hopefully you'll enjoy your stay :)

some general tumblr things to note:

as you probably know, tumblr doesn't run on an algorithm

any content depends primarily on what blogs you follow + occasionally what tags you follow (less reliable. your main source will be by blogs)

tags serve mainly as an organizational/content marker, as well as for filtering purposes. tagging #fyp to get your content out there does nothing

to send an ask, click on the button beside the follow/following button on the user's blog - some people rename the 'ask' to some other things, which may make it hard to find

we are the faceless app. pls customize your blog a little so it doesn't look like you're a bot but do not feel pressured to reveal names/face/age/pronouns whatever

once again, the only way content is found is through reblogs. reblog things that u think are neat, no additions required :)

re filtering: you can block terms/tags/content you don't want to see on your dash (e.g. 'tw sexual assault'). here's a better post to explain trigger warning/tagging etiquette

ok onto general hockeyblr:

to follow tags, go into the search bar and type out #[tag] and click the blue follow button on the right. your basic starter pack of tags to follow in hockeyblr: #hockey, #nhl, etc.

but that's lame. and you're probably not gonna get any of the juicy stuff

following your team/the teams you are tangentially interested in and their popular player tags are often a good way to start breaking into the community (e.g. #pittsburgh penguins, #sidney crosby)

follow cool hockeyblr ppl! u can find ppl in your team spheres through the tags i mentioned above. there was also a hockeyblr directory made a while back (og masterlist is down but shoot me a message and i can get you some specific team lists. don't be afraid to ask ppl for recs too)

reblog, like, etc. esp with content creators/gifsets/etc. engagement does the heart good

wtf is liveblogging:

lots of users liveblog and post commentary during games!

you can find these posts in the lb tags, which vary by team and are sort of collectively known (e.g. #pens lb for pittsburgh)

some tags are a little less intuitive: #nyr lb or #rangers lb are both used for the rangers iirc, #bolts lb or #tbl lb have both been used for tampa - feel free to shoot me an ask/msg if you have trouble lol

big events, such as the playoffs, worlds, the all star game, etc may have their own special tags (e.g. #scp lb, #worlds lb, #asg lb, #team germany lb, etc). you'll figure it out as you go! and don't be afraid to ask for clarification

tagging your liveblogs are pretty important since:

it's fun to liveblog with a bunch of people on your silly little gang of guys! helps u find friends to follow, and

people who follow the opposing team might want to filter out your commentary (more info below)

ouch, yikes. i don't want to see that (aka, filtering/blocking)

coming back to filtering, the nice thing abt tumblr is that u can filter out whatever tags/blogs/keywords you don't want to see on your dash

go to your blog settings to live peacefully and with prosperity

you can filter out team tags/liveblogs/players, anything you want. in fact, u are encouraged bc not feeling extreme rage over some picture on the dash of the team that knocked your team out of the scp does the body good

filtered posts don't disappear entirely from the dash (in case u have fomo), but when a blog u follow posts about something in that tag, you will see a blurred post with the tags you filtered, as well as an option to view the post

(looks like this)

some users also have specific tags that they may have created for organizational purposes and to help you block specific content (e.g. #nhl trade rumors are my personal tag for, you guessed it, trade rumors. some ppl don't wanna hear that, so easy tagging for filter)

on that note: filter and move on. don't go into opposing team tags/liveblogs and talk shit or stir up shit. you will be blocked by. a significant amount of people. play nice y'all, it's hockey

rpf/fic

not really my area of expertise on tumblr, but there's a pretty big rpf/fic community on hockeyblr. follow or block as you need!

player relationship tags are a good place to look for content (e.g. #sidgeno, #8771)

use the :readmore: function on tumblr liberally if you're posting fics - full player fics in the player tags can suck to scroll through for an outside user

once again, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. best of luck navigating hockeyblr, you're sure to have a blast!

#housekeeping #anonymous #primer

[olreid]

Ok whats the etiquette cause im not trying to ask for recs if you dont want to give them but i also sometimes like to know what you would recommend. Lol

you can ask whatever you want! i am an adult who can choose not to answer asks that i dont want to answer lol. i will say that yeas recently i have grown a bit weary of rec request asks, partially they take a lot of time to answer thoroughly and because i feel like i have already recommended TONS of stuff on here over the years to the point that most questions i get of that variety have already been answered.. to be fair i have not tagged stuff like that very well so i can imagine that it might be hard to find, but it is there!

and then also a lot of times the questions are so vague that it feels really transactional, like i'm sure people could put 'essays about hauntings' into google and find basically the same information that i would provide, so at that point i feel more like a search engine than a #girlblogger. like someone recently said "recommend me bad tv shows" and when i get that kind of message my gut response is like. why.. i don't know you lol. if you write in and talk to me about tv and ask about my fave good-bad tv shows that's a different vibe, if that makes sense.. more like we're chatting and having a conversation and less like i'm a robot you go to when youre bored and out of stuff to read.

i want to be clear that i DO often really enjoy answering questions in this vein and have only started to feel like this recently... especially if your question is about something more specific/specialized or if you tell me about something you enjoyed and want to know what to read or watch next i am happy to help... like i am a librarian at heart and i do genuinely enjoy helping people with reading and research decisions! and obviously i like talking about things i've enjoyed and do that often on this blog! but i am also a guy with my own life and i don't want to like. spend my time doing anyone's research for them just because they asked me to. so idk in summary ask whatever you want but hopefully that helps to clarify my. love-hate relationship with rec requests lol

#asks #anon