#idk. I'm hopeful I'm positive I'm optimistic but still
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#tag talk#I think one of the reasons therapy is so hard is that it's not like I show up and talk about the problem I have.#I show up and have to list all thirty seven problems and explain how their separate and how they're intertwined#I had my third hour-long appointment with my therapist who I feel genuinely hopeful about and there's still issues I haven't talked about#and I get that a lot of these separate issues are really just a basket of extreme symptoms from a few core issues#but it's been so long that they've grown and rooted on their own so it's not just a matter of digging out the original roots. not anymore.#and I do feel like I've made progress. I've made immense progress. the mood stabilizer alone is giving me loads of new data to process.#without it the mood phase I'm in right now would be morose and gloomy with manic energy turned inward to self loathing.#I started that direction a day or so ago because I forgot/didn't care to take my meds and started slipping#but I took my pills and bam I leveled out. and that's nice. I feel calm and serene.#hmm. I've been like this before though. after some sort of emotional high which I did have for a bit.#idk. I'm hopeful I'm positive I'm optimistic but still#I need to talk to my therapist about the feeling like a joke. I'm weird I'm interesting I'm novel I'm strange I know it already.#I'm lonely#I'm tired of being different. of being set apart. of being holy. divine.#I want to be normal. not a spectacle to gawk at or even appreciate. I want to be unremarkable. I want to fit in.#my therapist has enjoyed talking with me. I'm very funny. very charming. tough to keep up with apparently.#those things are intended as compliments but they also just remind me of how alone I am. different. set apart.
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i've still been keeping tabs on what's happening at automattic. a couple of things i've observed:
toni schneider (who is a man btw), the interim ceo, has been quite open with staff in ways that mean they generally seem relieved to have him leading the company for now. i've heard people speak optimistically about him from all parts of the spectrum (by which i mean: staff who are trans tumblr users right through to staff who are "anti-woke" or whatever and were absolutely intolerable to work with as a trans person), which seems like... a good sign? maybe.
this relative transparency includes things like weekly updates from an executive level, as well as openly saying that he did have to directly speak to matt and encourage him to, you know, stop posting.
matt is back to his usual milquetoast blogging, and replied to someone on mastodon about the AI issue saying he'd comment on it when he's back in may, so whatever toni said to him seems to have worked for him keeping out of it for now.
people have no idea what it's gonna look like when matt's back.
the best case scenario is that schneider manages to create a significant enough boost in morale and productivity that "it'd be nice if we just kept him" becomes a sentiment that isn't held just by the rank and file. i don't know how likely that is, but there's a sense of cautious hope and of making the most of this reprieve from matt's increasingly erratic decisions no matter what.
the tumblr staff statement was approved by schneider and hr, so i am also hopeful they won't face repercussions. what they said might seem pretty mild from the outside, or carefully worded, but it's pretty clear to me and to most people who've worked at companies like this that it's a pretty bold one.
i'll quote a friend:
keep reminding the more histrionic elements out there that:
1. there really are trans people, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN, in the fight here.
2. we don't have nearly the power they seem to think we do.
3. we're fighting anyway.
was the statement we wrote enough? fuck no. does it fix everything? fuck no. but we literally called out the CEO, and got the greenlight for it from the interim CEO. i don't know where this will end, but that's not nothing.
i'm not sure automattic deserves the immense honor of having this many of its brave, dedicated trans staff put effort into trying to make it better. but it has them, and it would be wise to do its best to keep them. so many of us — even me, even now — believe in the ideals that drew us to the work automattic does, and hope that it can return to them. we will see!
other things i want to say:
the wellbeing of my friends on staff is my priority. i am interested primarily in their safety, and won't pressure them to give me goss. the ways i've spoken publicly are already pretty scary to people who might worry about retaliation against them just for being known to be my friend.
this is a regular personal blog. i'll keep updating if there's shit to update about, but i also don't work at automattic any more (thank fuck, again), have a life, and am not interested in declaring matt my specific nemesis or otherwise acting purely out of spite.
some of youse really deeply do not understand companies, the internet, generative ai, or pretty much anything else i've said. that's okay — big tech in particular is fucked up on purpose bc it benefits those in power to have it be incomprehensible! but maybe it's not a great position from which to get mad at me specifically or at staff for idk not personally assassinating matt.
got tired of blocking transphobes so i've turned anons off. i'll probably flick them back on eventually.
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Idk if you're still making this, but I want to let you know that we're waiting for BoB Lovetropes p2. My suggestions: Toye, Eugene, Malarkey, Guarnere, Luz, Sobel. Hope you're doing okay <3
A/n: I've been dealing with some stuff lately and now finally have a little time to catch up on old stuff. I also want to apologize anon I couldn't bring myself to soble. Sorry couldn't do it.
-Warnings: fluff, tiny bit of language, got wayyy to carried away with malarkey’s, oops. Might have to turn that into its own thing, if it's not already. Luz is slightly spicy, nothing crazy but you cant miss it.-
Masterlist
Joe Toye
-grumpy vs sunshine trope. Omggggg, the idea of this has me kicking my feet and giggling. Joe Toye is rough around the edges, tough skin. You on the other hand have always been the positive one, keeping the people around you spirits high. Being an optimist of sorts. Maybe not cheerful but you could definitely make someone's day. Yet behind his grumpy facade, he can't help but notice your unwavering optimism. He wasn't opposed to love; he just never expected to be swept off his feet so quickly by one person. Your personality was anything but the same. Never in a million years did he think he was going to fall in love with a bright and shiny person, which was the exact reason why he loved you so much. You two were like night and day. You were the beacon of light in all the darkness. I feel like Toye would also be super protective over you. Kinda the same vibe as liebgott. But that's for another time.
“Is that a smile I see on your face toye?” “I'm one lucky bastard you realize that?”
Eugene roe
-office romance/forced proximity. I didn't exactly know what to call this one. Both you and roe are easy company medics. Gene from the start, harbord a crush on you. And mean big time crush. Thinking about you he got butterflies in his stomach. You both spent significant time together. Typically the only times you were separated is when you were attending to fellow paratroopers. Bastogne was a turning point. You were in a jeep headed to the church, your hand and a cloth being the soul thing keeping a man alive. You almost made it before the church burst into flames. When Gene heard what happened he got the first ride possible to bastogne. When he saw you, hand now on a clearly dead man, he took you into his arms. He brought you back to the Adrennes forest. As usual you spent the night in genes fox hole the only difference was you both saw what was right in front of you for the first time and kissed. It wasn't until Austria where he gave you a promise ring where he promised to spend and devote the rest of his life with you.
“you make me the happiest man you know that y/n?”
“Tell me that again at our wedding”
Donald Malarkey
-friends to lovers? Maybe a sprinkle of enemies to lovers?? I don't know but here me out. So you join the paratroopers as a female, the reason you got in was from connections in the army. Seeing how even if you are the most talented female there is, it's still the 40s here. I wouldn't think that the Toccoa men would flat out bully you, but would more just not believe in you. Probably leave you out of a lot of things. Kind of just pretend you weren't there. But not malarkey. He saw something in you that the rest didn't. Honestly he was shocked to see how they treated you. You were the best paratrooper there was in this company. You stood your ground. You met and exceeded in all categories. Passed each test with flying colors. You also were able to do it with the most incredible smile. As much as you disliked it, he stood up for you. Complimented and congratulated you when you did well. You really liked him. He was cute, kind, and not a douche wad. But sadly, most guys here if they weren't mean, they were trying to get Into your pants. As much as you wouldn't mind that with malarkey, you weren't here for that. One day in Aldbourne England you had enough. You weren't going to get swooned into bed and he had to know it. When you had a spare moment you grabbed him and pulled him aside and told him to stop. He was bewildered that this is how you perceived him. He explained to you that was not his intention. You could hear the sincerity of his voice. He meant it. This was the start of your friendship. You both were like a thing but not? Kinda a situationship. But it wasn't official until Haguenau. The effects of war painted across your faces. In one of the houses you laid in one of the beds, trying for the hundredth time to get some rest to no avail. He came and found you. There was little and a lot to say. Instead he kissed you. The past two years of friendship melted instantly into a lifetime of love.
“god i've wanted you to do that for a long time”
“What happened to ‘I'm not here for a relationship’?”
“shut the fuck up and kiss me again would ya”
William Guarnere
-Enemies to lovers. Come on, this is so perfect. Guarnere is a natural bully. He bullies everybody all the time, but you? He loves bullying you. He always has an insult special for you up his sleeve. However, that's a lie. He hates it to his core. You are the sweetest person ever. All he wants to do is not bully you. He's somewhere in the middle of liebgott and Speers. He doesn't want to be seen as weak. He has this demnor he feels the need to uphold and that everybody around him expects. Not some ooey gooey man. Even though if he could he'd probably worship you. You were perfect in his eyes. He hates himself more and more but the more he digs himself into this hole the harder it is for him to get out. He finally cracks when someone else makes a particular mean stab at you one day at a bar in holland. He can hate himself all he fucking wants for bullying you. But somebody else is doing it? Hurting you? Not going to happen. He breaks his nose, jaw, maybe a rib or two, black eye and busted lip, all before he could get ripped off this guy. You get wind of this later. Within minutes you're confronting him. Before he shuts you up with a kiss.
“I thought you hated me”
“Hate you? No, For fuckes sake sweetheart, I'm in love with you”
George Luz
-meet cute. You originally met just before you signed up to be paratroopers. And I mean just before. You were getting blood work done to test how fit you were to fight. As you waited in the lobby to fill out paperwork, you went to reach for your pen. That's when you realized it wasn't there. It just so happens that a very cute guy next to you had an extra with him. You quickly filled the paper and exchanged names and conversations. On the way home you couldn't get him out of your head. So couldn't he. Later when you were assigned to easy company you found the one and only George luz. The same extremely handsome guy at the clinic. He immediately recognized you. How could he not? Your face and laugh had been at the front of his thoughts a lot lately. You tried to keep both of your composure during Toccoa seeing how you didn't want to get into any trouble. But that all fell apart after one weekend with a pass and some alcohol. Kisses were shared, clothes were shed and hands roamed. After that night you made it official. Luz also started writing his vows.
“you know I've never felt this way before”
“What the sex or me? Because If it wasn't the sex let me know so we can go again”
“both luz, but I can't turn that offer down now can I”
#band of brothers#band of brothers fanfic#band of brothers headcanon#band of brothers x reader#joe toye x reader#eugene roe x reader#Donald Malarkey x reader#george luz x reader
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And how do yours transformers friend liked the trailer?
She is not very optimistic about it unfortunately... which I can understand, but I will write about positives first :DD
But first of all we will starts with all the good parts she said about it! She said that she is amazed of the backgrounds and she thinks that it's actually really good looking city and nature! She said that it's giving her vibes of guardians of the galaxy which I totally agree with!!!
And that is all what she said nice about it... but after hype kinda go away (I mean I'm still hyped, but not fresh after seeing trailer, so I can finally see a bigger picture kinda XD) I can understand some of her arguments!
Basically she said Orion, D-16, etc. are looking uncanny to her, to the point she is feeling weird to look at them and I... I can understand that I mean in some frames they are looking so wonky and just straight up weird.
I mean look, he Megan here looks like fucking frog, and the second frame is- is something different in bad way 👀👀👀 and kinda agree that they optics are kinda ugly, ngl these motherfuckes have better optics
She also said this movie feels like something like nickelodeon would make and it's a prequel to Earth Spark (she hates nick as I do, so yeah)
And she said that comedy (at least in trailer) write like in C class polish rom-com, which is shown in TVP 50 times a years, in every holiday (something like Kogiel Mogiel, idk what could be equivalent of this for you my not-polish followers, so sorry)
I can't kinda agree with that, because it was just a trailer and I know that in trailer should be the best parts of the movie to encourage ppl to watch it! But that was just a tiny little part of the movie, so it can't represent the wole thing :V
I would say the thing we should worry about it's the number of characters in this movie, because do you remember the flop of Rise of The beast, and how many unused character there was??? XDD I still can't forgive them not using more Stratosphere >:CC
She also said that Bee probably will as irritating as he was in animated...
I mean I can see that's coming and I hope he won't like this, but yeah... But still imo this scene was funny
And kinda like the fact he looks like Goldbug in G2 :DD
So she said it didn't buy her and she won't see it (maybe on some SITES which are not fully legal...), BUT i hope next trailers will change her opinion about this movie :DD
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I'm optimistic by nature, so maybe take this with a grain of salt. But DK said there's a sense of hope in the lockerroom right now, even though everyone kind of knew the math was against them. He said they felt like they've unlocked something over the past month, like they solved the riddle that plagued them for much of the season. (he was being a pessimist and I was only listening out of desperation for hearing thoughts about the pens). Anyway, I'm with the players on this one. Maybe EK65 still has mental lapses, but he's settled in finally and is shooting instead of always deferring; we blow leads, but you *know* in the first part of the season we would have lost to tampa when they came back, detroit when they came back, we wouldn't have been able to close out the final points against jersey, etc. Instead we've found ways to actually finish. DOC is flying and still learning, the baby defensemen literally took huge stride in twelve games and are trusted in the most high-stakes situations; bunting was our missing jenga piece apparently; jeff carter while he played less disastrously as a fourth liner is coming off the books (hopefully will get a position with the front office if he wants it), Sid is going to score within a point of his last year totals, rust had a career high and missed twenty games+was playing injured most of the season, PO made leaps and bounds progress; hopefully reilly smith will be yeeted into the sun, maybe Geno will even get TWO competent wingers, and I have faith Dubas will figure out how to undo the Graves mess (or maybe not, sigh). Baby Pens goalie is having the best season since MAF and MM and might play next year... and maybe sid will spend the summer figuring out the power play, like it will be his thing he improves. IDK i just think there's so much to be excited and hopeful about and I remember last year at this time feeling like I'd swallowed rocks. Maybe we'll miss out by a point--or ten, or make it by twenty-- next year, too, but I think they're going to come back after a summer of living off the high of this little run. It's been a pleasure to watch what was essentially playoff hockey for the past month and I can't wait to do it again next season
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Ooof I am also in my feelings about YOI. I can't believe I actually watched it as it was airing. I was still a teen and related to Yurio the most, now I come back to watch it and I'm older than Yuri!! And he's so relatable, it's like I was missing a whole part of YOI then suddenly I rewatch as an adult feeling weirdly sentimental despite that year being pretty bad for me and just oooofffffff.
I was tearing up constantly. Like when I watched as it came out I thought Victor seemed kinda cold and far away and I liked Yuri well-enough but thought he got over his anxiety quickly, my main focus was Yurio. Now going back it's just holy shit, I lived Yuri's life, minus the sporting achievements lol but I felt everything he felt, and Victor too was so much more interesting, clearly so much going on under the surface and profound loneliness covered up with a cheerful facade. I can't believe how different it was to rewatch years later at a different age. I still love Yurio too but now it feels like oh god please someone help this child rather than relating to him.
I remember even thinking at the time later that maybe it was overrated but going back to it now is just like god, no it wasn't at all, it really *was* that great, it really *did* deserve the hype. And I don't really know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to share it with someone bc I was never really that involved in the fandom and it's kinda died off now and I have no one to say it too in irl so it's just my farewell ig to YOI. Like I love that I can rewatch it but the whole hype around it at the time was so cool, it reminded me of watching shows on tv then talking about it at school the next day. Like it somehow re-created that experiance but even better bc it was sooo many people all at once. It was just so optimistic and sweet, and I feel weirdly sad now whenever I see anything about it. I almost wish it had done multiple seasons and movies and milked it for all its worth so I could just move on from it like anything else but now everytime I see it I'm suddenly thrown back to being a teen and comparing my life from then to now and suddenly remember every emotion I was feeling, it's so brutal.
This is overlong and kinda clumsy but basically I want to send the show off somehow like kiss it on it's cheeks and wave goodbye but I don't know how so I'm writing this all to you. Please don't feel pressured to reply, I know I've sent paragraphs. But if you do want to anyway, I'd love to hear all and any thoughts you have about YOI and what it was for you. I feel strangely lonely about it now bc I never had irl friends who watched it and I never paticipated in fandom. Now I'm like, idk mourning it, on my own. YOI coincided with a little bubble of time where I was relatively happy and hopeful, It's hard to let just that go now.
I understand you. I was 16 when yoi aired and I was actually waiting for it's release months before because the trailer seriously caught my attention, so I've been here since before the first ep was even out. To this day I count being able to watch Yuri on ice as it aired as one of the most positive experiences of my life. When yoi came out, I was in a particularly dark spot in my life, and this anime was my anchor through and through. It taught me the power a piece of media can have on a person as I do believe I couldn't have pulled through that year if yoi hadn't come in to save me at the last minute.
I remember it being so fun, I actually don't think I've ever had more fun with any other piece of media, it was magical.
It was many combining factors too; the fact that yoi is an original anime so every single Wednesday we had no idea what we were getting, the fact that yoi was so original in it's story and heavily deviates from your average sports anime, the huge community that formed around the series, making theories, trending #1 on Tumblr every single Wednesday and of course, the fact that there was actually a love story playing out between Victor and Yuri and that we as the audience got to experience it. l wonder if people truly understand how unique that is. This anime really went above and beyond all my expectations. It fed me too well and spoiled me too much.
I miss Yuri on ice in the way one misses a high they know they'll never obtain again, and I chased that high the remainder of my teenage years.
Having this blog, making friends, talking about the series, eagerly waiting for every Wednesday and having something to look forward to like that, I don't know If I'll ever experience it again. I don't think so. It really feels like the planets aligned for me to enjoy yoi to it's full potential. No one in this world can understand how much this series means to me, how close it is to my heart.
People who didn't watch it while it aired or who weren't in fandom have no idea how it felt. To this day, it was unlike anything I've ever encountered in fandom. It really is a "you just had to be there" kind of experience.
To say I miss it dearly would be a huge understatement. But I've been grieving yoi for the past 4 years. I'm currently in the acceptance phase. Whatever happens, happens. I agree with you that I wish they would've milked the series for all it's worth and we were on season 2 with a movie coming out soon. But that's just a selfish desire. What I wished the most is they hadn't played with my heart like that and gave me hope. I wish they came out and said "this project is over, sorry". I do believe something went deeply wrong in production, as you may have seen in my essays I've written on this subject.
I controversially believe Mappa is not entirely at fault and that this is something to do with the creators. It just makes no logical sense for Mappa to can yoi when it not only saved their studio, it's one of their best selling anime, pulling in crazy numbers. It even outsold Chainsawman. I think that if it were up to them we would be on Yuri on ice S3.
but enough especulating, what I mean to say is:
Allow yourself to mourn and say goodbye to a piece of media that greatly impacted your life. I think the best thing to do is to redirect those feelings you have towards gratitude.
I'm grateful for the memories we made together and the incredible chance they gave me to run a blog that had 25k+ Yuri on ice fans in it's prime, for the friends I made. I feel like I had a lot of fun and enjoyed every bit.
I will forever look forward to anything yuri on ice related, but if this is the end then so be it.
you gave me a long ask, I gave you a long answer.
Thank you for your heartfelt message.
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I was thinking about how in EP7, Yai is extremely open with his affection and careless about being seen, while Jom is the one to try to get him to stop.
Which, in hindsight, is a little weird. Jom is the person from the time period where being queer is allowed and is being more accepted as normal. Jom is physically affectionate with his lovers as we see in EP1 when he's with Ohm. He initiates touch very often and is comfortable with it.
Yai is the one from the time period with little to no education or exposure to queerness, living in a rigid household where expressing queerness in any way is a death sentence.
I think Jom being more nervous and wary is an indicator that despite the progress in the 21st century, we're still nowhere near the normalization of queer existence and affection. Jom is open, but he is also likely aware that there are still a lot of people and lots of social structures that discriminate against queer existence. He experienced this unfairness when Ohm cheated on him with a woman who is preganant, whom he is getting married to. Jom can't have kids or get married. It's freaking painful to learn that the very laws and restrictions that hurt queer love has been so pointedly used to hurt him by someone he loves. It's not the government or some stranger who hurt him using the things meant to restrict his life, it's his BOYFRIEND.
So when he's put into a situation where the social structures are more obvious, he adapts to it. Probably to protect himself from the personal hurt that he's afraid is going to come from Yai, and the social consequences. Which is really sad tbh because it highlights just how far we still have to go.
Yai, on the other hand is young, likely sheltered and idealistic. He's also a romantic and seems like an optimist. We know he knows being queer can be fatal because of the opening of EP7 with the murder of the lesbian couple who got married. But we also see him in a bar for queer people, he's seen The Green Queen find happiness. There is a community however secretive and small it is, and Jom likes him.
Jom, who is combative, doesn't stand for injustice, helps those who are around him and willing to suffer punishment for them, who openly talks out against his master/lord(idk how to translate his position) and criticizes literary works that are probably not openly questioned (I'm guessing here based on the scene where they're reading Khun Chang Khun Phaen).
So to Yai, loving Jom openly is natural because he probably thinks Jom would be right with him on the "fuck the system" thing at least for a little bit. Jom's already given him the courage to fight back- we see it with Prik. Yai knows it's hard to change things, but he will try his best if it's with Jom by his side because he gives him hope for a bright future.
This is so heartbreaking because we the audience know that even in the 21st century, queer rights are a struggle. The fight still goes on. Over a hundred years after Yai's time and it's still going. It's bittersweet to know that Yai's hopes will come true, but not in his time, not anytime soon for him.
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You do matchups?? I've never done one before so I'm super curious. Idk if looks really matter but everyone else is giving a short description, so I will. I'm 5'1, very pale, with dark hair. I'm more on the curvy side and have a sort of "hippie" style. (Lots of tye-dye, bright colors, and crystals encorperated in my outfits.) I also love makeup and would slather my face completely in glitter if given the opportunity. Personality-wise I'm definitely very timid, maybe even too much so. I consider myself to be a very positive and optimistic person. I love to socialize but also do need to have alone time so that I can recharge. (Perhaps the diagnosed ADHD that I refuse to take my meds for lmaoo) But when I'm with a group of people I love to talk and laugh with people, I laugh a lottt. Despite me talking so much I struggle a lot with expressing negative emotions due to a fear of coming off as weak. I just wanna present as a very bubbly and happy at all times. On that note, in a relationship I struggle with expressing myself through words and get flustered by compliments very easily. I love spoiling the person I'm dating through other means like buying them gifts or acts of service. That being said, I still do love affection and melt at the slightest bit of it. I simply just won't say it because I'm a coward :). I'm very independent and pride myself on that, I'll also stand up for literally everyone but myself.
Anyways, hope that's enough. Thank you :D!
*cracks knuckles*
AHHHHH!!!!!
I SHIP YOU WITH JIMMY JIMMY COCOPUFF
First off, a short queen? He would LOVE! To read his head on you and snuggle in bed (lots of picking you up and swinging you around) And I feel like he would really appreciate gifts because people aren’t nice to him. So he would love to feel spoiled. But he would spoil you because because homie is a gentlemen and loves to take care of his girl.
He would heavily relate on not wanting to feel weak so I think he would make you feel comfortable showing more vulnerability. He has a warmth to him that makes others feel safe and loved.
He’s the KING of giving you compliments and would be so sweet on you. He would love to hear you laugh and pull out his best jokes and party trick’s because seeing you smile would make him feel more accomplished.
But I can so see you with our loving savior JIMMY
#evan peters#evan peters imagine#american horror story#evan peters fanfiction#evan peters x reader#ahs#ahs fanfic#tate langdon#kit walker#ahs murder house#personal#ship
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hi
no idk how to make/keep friends but thanks for giving me a chance
I'm not optimistic on new years but like....I mean ig there are such things as having last words before a new year so I mean why not.
I'm 18 but I'm still a teen at heart and it feels mentally impossible to grow up. I've picked up hyperfixations when I was around 9-15 but ever since then I have a hard time picking up new ones without dropping them so fast/losing motivation. And of course; I'm still trying to understand my weirdness.
I'm not typically fond of new years and usually I just go off of everyone else's positive energy just to not feel all gloomy, but yeah I can't really deny the slight fear/sadness that grows in me each year bc I know I grow everyday rather than solely on my birthday, but it's there and it's real despite not being able to easily digest the concept of time itself.
unfortunately, there's not much I can do but to improve myself and do the best I can, yes, even when there's little to nothing that can really give me a push to accomplish goals that I want to pursue in life, and yes, even when I'm weak in faith and have little to absolute no hope in me ever being more than what I am now.
I've kinda grown to accept it...? I used to be bratty and narcissistic as a child(still kind of do tbh, I fear that I may have npd at times, I don't mean it but it happens and I really don't like that side of myself) but reality proved otherwise, no I don't want to be anything big but...rather I just want to be someone that's worth living ig, just someone that can make others feel alright with my presence despite not having a stable aura.
there are some things that I may not be able to improve much on and....well, I think it's okay to understand that I'm just not that great at certain things now. Maybe the future has better luck for me but...it's full of unknowns so, I can't guarantee on what will be there for me so....that's nice ig.
but...for now, I wanna say thank you for being patient with me at the very least, I've never seen myself as an easy person and ik it's not gonna get any easier especially with the current challenges, but hopefully it'll get better later on.
Idk how you found me or why you decided to follow/befriend me but at the very least I'm happy that you find my stuff entertaining even though it isn't consistent. I've always wondered what kind of energy I could radiate to others with my stuff, whether it be silly shitposts or oc/selfshipping stuff.
anyways uh....I think that's all? Yea. thank you.
#I can't tell if this was meant to be a vent or just a self reflection post#I'm not in a very bright mindset rn so ig it could be both
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maybe horis point is some VERY optimistic view in bnha world that the next generation is more understanding and less violent. like idk maybe shouto and shouji could have ended up violent in their ways but because their classmates werent evil shitheads and they made friends they managed to not be swallowed up by the worlds ugliness. (im saying this with a "this is a battle shonen/fictional story" mentality and logic. irl the only way to change anything is through protests/violence/wars)
Mmh, well, I don't disagree about the limitations of a battle shounen manga. I'm well aware of them. However, I think the problem in bnha is that the writing often doesn't follow up on its own set ups.
Let me try to clarify this. It's true that Horikoshi doesn't seem interested in writing any actual change on a societal scale. I probably went into this expecting it to be a story about something else, and that's on me. I can't fault Hori for not writing what I hoped to read.
However, while the overarching point might not be fixing social issues, Horikoshi did set up the hero kids as people who want to break from the mold. Bnha is largely a story about mentors and mentees, but take Deku for example: his mentor, Gran Torino, was certain Shigaraki was long past the point of saving, and admonished Toshinori against sympathizing with him. Yet, despite the fact that Deku normally thinks his mentors hung the moon, he still goes against their judgment with his resolve to save Shigaraki.
So the set up is that Deku will eventually see past their hero/villain labels and acknowledge Shigaraki's humanity.
Problem is, the story is nearly wrapping up, but we're still lacking a proper follow up. It just stays a resolve, but there's no action that supports this.
The hero trio is supposed to be headed towards rescuing their villain foils, but any common ground they have with them always takes the backseat. Every time there's an opportunity for them to act and do better than their mentors, the kids revert to being angry and perpetrating the mindset of the previous generation. This is shown most clearly with Shouto, who unconsciously repeats his parents' calls for Touya to "just stop" (and in the process, keeps scapegoating him as a bad victim who keeps inconveniencing others instead of just moving on).
If anything, I'd say that the problem is exactly this: positing one side, the good guys, as the "good victims", and the villains as the "bad" ones. It drives attention away from the fact that they've both suffered unjustly, and postpones indefinitely any attempt for a dialogue.
Now, bnha probably will never go as far as dismantling the perpetrators that caused that suffering on both sides of the current conflict. Think of how his solution to the corruption of the Hpsc was killing Madam President and replacing her. But I think it would be nice if the story could finally move away from that good vs bad, black vs white thinking and show us the heroes' growth instead of dangling in front of our eyes like a carrot on a string. The point is for kids to be more understanding? Then show them acting like it. If you cannot make them empathize with the villains yet because that's too fast, at least show them actually listening to what the villains are saying. Ffs, Touya is Shouto's brother but Shouto didn't listen to a single word Touya said.
Does this make sense? I Don't know. I think I'm gonna drop the subject for now tho, since talking about this in circles doesn't help getting rid of my frustration
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Hello, lovely Rid 💕💕
Just wanted to say that I would definitely notice and miss you a lot if you were gone from here. I have really had such an amazing time talking to you on here and reading your wonderful work. I literally think about messaging you every day, but sometimes I don't have as much to say, so that's why I don't do it. I also love seeing you interact with everyone else on here and this community that you've built with your stories is one I love being a part of.
(Even before I talked to you when you were gone earlier last year, I thought about your work often and checked to see if you had decided to come back.)
Of course, if you ever need to take a break for your mental health, or just need to fully leave in general, you should absolutely do so, I just wanted to say that you've become a part of my days that brings me joy and every time I talk to you I feel so so happy. And I can't even begin to describe what comfort and joy your work brings to me and how much it means to me too.
Lots of love 💞💞💞
thank you, ivi, my love 💕 i know i might seem a little helpless and hopeless these days, and i promise i'm usually a pretty optimistic person, but.. i overthink a lot, too. i shouldn't, but i feel bad for being negative about such things.
i just sometimes feel like i'm not doing enough, as other cc do, or that i'm not doing it well enough. bc when i try, like, by hosting ask games or posting chapter threads/snippets, i often feel like i'm talking to a wall – and when that effort's ignored, i wonder why i'm still doing it... i think that's why i post a lot less snippets these days than i used to, or i just do it when someone asks.
i guess that's why i felt like i could just... idk, walk away and no one would notice. ugh it truly sucks to feel that way, and i absolutely LOVE the community we've all built here. i love each and every interaction, and i'm thankful for it. but sometimes i can't stop these thoughts about irrelevance. it's dumb, and i'm really working on being more positive! i felt the love when i came back after the hiatus, and i don't want to leave this little corner, so i hope my brain never forces me to 💕
thank you again, ivi. you offer a lot of comfort with your words whenever you pop in, and i don't take it for granted. i hope you keep enjoying your time here; i'll always love your rambles or even just a hi. it all means a lot more than you might know <3
#i've always been ready to put a lot of love and energy into this little site... hope i never stop receiving just that back <3#notes for rid 🌹#ivi <3
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Hey! Idk if you're still doing readings but I'd love one if that's all right! The deck is so cool!
Well, I actually wrote here "I was, but you're the last one" but then I got one more while I was typing this up. So you and one more!!!
Either way, I hope things go well for you!
(Justice, The Sun, Death)
Okay, here's my SECOND TRY typing this one bc I'm a clumsy motherfucker who accidentally deleted it all the first time.
This is another one of those spreads that might make you nervous, but I don't think it's bad!
I think the key card in this reading is Justice. Please pardon this terrible pun, but Justice is, so to speak, the card where the chickens come home to roost. Lies will be swept away, wrongs will be righted, and the truth will prevail. Whether that comforts you or not probably depends on whether you've wronged anyone or if you were the one being wronged.
Either way, whatever is unearthed (or put to bed) by Justice will bring change to your life. That's where Death comes in. Death is a card of transformation -- the death of your old life to make room for the new. There's an emphasis here on casting off the things in your life that are no longer serving you, like finally replacing a coat that no longer fits. These things may have been good once, but now they're holding you back from your full potential. (Or, hell, they might have always sucked and you're only now able to free yourself from their grip.)
Technically, Justice and Death are both cards that could be good or bad, because change can be good or bad. If you've done something that deserves judgement, Justice can be a very worrying card. If you like your life just the way it is, Death can be scary as well. But... if your life is due for a change, they can both be very positive.
And for you, I suspect they'll be positive. Why? Because your last card is The Sun, which is probably the most positive card in the entire deck. Imagine stretching out in warm, comforting sunshine and you'll get the vibe of this card. It's bright and it's warm and it's incredibly optimistic. Put simply, The Sun is almost always a very good sign.
When you put them all together, it looks like change is coming -- but if you're able to stick things out, the sun will finally be coming out to greet you in your future. 💜
#this one took me a while partially bc I'm highly distractible today#but mostly because I typed the whole thing and then accidentally hit a random key and deleted the whole post somehow#and then I got disheartened and had to watch youtube for an hour lmao#but we're back at 'em boys#tarot shenanigans
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my activity's still gonna be hella sporadic for a while but for a completely different reason. even though we're not moving out or anything for now i still had stuff that i'm needing to do to keep myself occupied so i won't have anymore emotional meltdowns anytime soon.
so i got some unexpected ( but good ) news this morning and i'm still trying to process everything. long story short, i was given money to help fix my car that's been unworkable since ... like ... november. needless to say it triggered me having an emotional meltdown because i wasn't expecting it. so one of my best friends and her boyfriend is going to come over today to try and get it going via jumpstarting it or something so i can go to valvoline and get the oil changed. then once i get the oil changed i'll be able to set up an appointment to get the tires rotated and front brakes replaced because they're in desperate need of getting replaced.
i'm hoping to get everything done by the end of the week so that way i can find a way to get the money i need for both january's rent and internet ( + a few other bills ). not only that but i'll be able to go and actually visit my mom.
i promised myself that i'd work on being optimistic and positive. i know i'm allowed to have bad days but i also know that i'm allowed to be happy, too. i know something good will come up in due time.
but any donations towards bills and food would be greatly appreciated. and i honestly have no idea how much it's going to cost to get the car fixed. it might be a lot or it might be a little. idk. i might have money left over to go towards rent or some other bill. it's one of those wait and see kind of things. i also have two commissions up and running right now as well so there's that! down below are ways you can donate:
paypal: link
cashapp: $SH1NAN1GANS
any donations would be great. i honestly couldn't care less about buying manga, books, video games, and whatnot right now. those are wants and not needs right now. money for food and bills are needs. and i'll show proof if need be as well.
#out of wings 》》》 shenanigans#tbd#nothing too terribly negative except for me bringing up the problems i've been having since sunday-ish.
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hey, lizzie 🤍
this is our first time interacting, and even if we are not yet acquainted in the least bit, it really disheartens me to see someone i could easily give the tiniest bit of guidance to that might assist you on your journey. it sucks i only saw this just now but TT i'll save the proper introductory for a later time if you want to talk ! no pressure :)
i understand the situation you are currently battling is an extremely tricky one, so you are more than welcome to answer this privately, or not at all if it makes you uncomfortable, but maybe (?) this could push others to achieve their goals too... idk― but just know, you are not obligated to anyone but yourself and your needs.
all i want for you to take away from this ask is a more optimistic and positive attitude towards yourself, and the obstacles life throws at you sometimes.
firstly, i think it'd be a little more appropriate to state the context or a little background of why a random person like me is sending you an ask lmaoo: i am a criminology major (1st year) too who has undergone/undergoing similar subjects by the ones you stated previously.
for me, jumping into the field of criminology (or the land of fucked up like i call it WHWHW), was a more personal thing that i held close to my heart. helping friends/family/strangers of victimisation almost felt natural, and more so in the sense that i think everyone can be a victim to something― small or big, we're not always the bad guys in others stories.
in the light of your ambitions, i think no one has to have an overly ✨ spectacular ✨ reason as to why they enjoy the things they enjoy, or, want to do the things they find the tiniest bit interesting. if you're intrigued by the criminal mind, or how aspects of it work they way they do, and finding ways to help victims and offenders cope, i think thats more than enough to be justifiable. and honestly? we need more people like that in this world.
to me, i feel like the most important thing is to have that preconceived notion― you want to help others, understand, feel, and maybe come to terms with your own personal beliefs on it.
it's a pretty crazy thing, really, whenever i mention to strangers that i'm undergoing an undergraduate in criminology, they always act surprised... because it is surprising! how many people do you think would willingly jump into the mind of someone who has undergone years of trauma? or would want to understand the fundamentals on why we act the way we do? it's a pretty scary place, more so when many people are still yet trying to figure themselves out.
i think the only piece of advice i can give you is that you have to be willing to take risks, do what makes you happy, and most importantly, find solace in yourself. if this isn't the right direction for you, so be it. if you'd prefer to take something that's more focused on the psychological spectrum of it all, even better! because years from now, if you don't make those choices, you're most likely going to dwell on them.
i'm sorry if this got hella sentimental PFFT but i truly hope you find the courage to do what drives your happiness to its wits. you shouldn't be concerned of others judgements, you're already 10x smarter then those fools! :)
hi, love! dont worry about us never having talked before (im kinda shy towards people on here so i dont approach often) but i’d love to talk with you more & could use some friends <3
i relate with everything you said, and its really really what i wanna do. the criminal mind is so interesting and i would wanna jump into it to see how i could perhaps help the person & prevent any more people from falling victim to them…the problem is that my uni teaches criminology wholly differently than what i had in mind :(
they really focus on crime in itself & the reaction of people around it instead of the offender and/or the victim. its heavily law based, like 4/8 of my subjects for this year are about the dutch law. there’s hardly and psychology at all unfortunately, i had like 1 psychology-based course last year but it kinda disappeared in the 2nd year it seems :/
the only reason why im considering going through with it rn is bc i only have this year (which is almost over) and another year left before im supposed to graduate. so i could just endure a bit longer & go study psychology after this — i feel like a psychology & criminology degree would be better when i start looking for a job?
then again, idk if i actually want to continue bc this doesn’t interest me much at all (specifically the law subjects) and its only giving me a bunch of stress and anxiety atm
so yea that’s it ig, so cool to see someone with the same major tho! i haven’t seen that on tumblr before :) hope you’re doing alright & id love to get to know you better!
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Hello! If you're still doing jjk romantic match ups, could please do for me too? Its okay if you're not, thank you!
I'm 4'11 (fem) & im usually more of a cheerful optimistic person.Although im not a golden retriever sort or a ball of energy, I'm pretty optimistic and can make friends with little to no difficulty.i'm also the caring type,the type that rushes to their friends' side if they're injured.
I have black hair with my bangs dyed kinda tealish, I also have a sweet tooth! I also enjoy baking.
Other interests of mine include- alternative fashion,metal music,visual kei music etc (mostly just alternative stuff)
Even tho my interests seem dark against my sortof bubbly personality,it still makes it a nice contrast or so i've been told😭
Idk if i should include anything 😭 im not much interested in sports ,im more inclined towards drama, performance arts,music etc. Thank you!
a/n: You wrote to me after I closed matchup requests. I need a break from this. But I hope you enjoy this matchup •́ ‿ •̀
I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is
He is one of the most optimistic and friendly people.
Often, Toge tries to make friends with people with whom he will be seeing more.
Quite simply, even though he is difficult to get along with, and his character is a little different than it might seem, he is friendly towards people he knows he can do.
He only likes people he has known enough.
Toge is more relaxed most of the time, not using his reserves of strength too much. Unless he is in the presence of loved ones.
Basically, he often tries to think positively, not dramatically when something serious may happen. He is optimistic about many things, believing that what happens will end well anyway. Certainly better than the other possibilities.
And even if something threatening happens, or someone needs to be protected, if it is someone very important to him, he would never hesitate to protect someone. Even if he sacrificed himself for it.
Remember that he also needs protection from someone.
Headcanon:
• He is a person who likes everything he likes. Plants, stuffed animals, various clothes. All he needs is that he likes it.
He really enjoyed you accepting his style and his tendency to have things of different styles.
Clothing from colorful sweatshirts and T-shirts to black with chains. Sweet style, wild style. It's just something that is nice and comfortable for him. He could wear anything on himself just to please him and you.
• If you respect his sometimes strange interests and styles, he respects yours.
• He would never judge anyone. He would be friends with the strangest man if he wanted to and met him cheap. After all, the difference does not bother him at all. He himself is different from others.
You don't have to change because for him you are so wonderful and unique.
• He would have jumped into the flames after you. He spent the end of the world with you. Just to know that, even for a moment, he gave you comfort and a feeling of security.
He is ready at any moment to stand by your side and remove you from danger.
However, you have to remember that he is also not like a dog that is faithful and will do anything. For the love of you, he would give his life so that nothing would happen to you.
He also needs the same.
He may never admit it, but sincerely he would like to know that as much as he supports you, you support him.
He wouldn't let you protect him as much as he does you, because he feels a duty to keep you safe. However, you can support him by giving him the love he has always wanted. Provide him with a sense of security by hugging him and holding him close to you.
This boy is not hard to please. Little things like being with him are enough for him and he won't need anything else. He has received love, and he will not get enough of it.
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k so iirc jeff the killer wrote the little red book of commulism and that's where we're at in the story. I think. bnha s5e15-e19. also hawks has maybe murdered a guy cuz he's a quintuple agent or whateverthefuck. (I know stain is dead… uh, I think… but like still, we haven't heard about him in ages, huh. never did really grasp what his whole deal was, anyway.)
hawks can use his feathers as listening devices? sheesh, some of these guys get so many weird subpowers.
…yeah, endeavor would be able to keep up with deku's complicated power-analysis stuff with the percentages and whatnot in conversation. he's a minmaxer, just ask his kids. guy plays RL like it's Dorf Fortress.
Selkie… maybe B-tier? A-tier? I don't really remember who all was where when I did that list thing, but anyway he's pretty cool.
-- "they boarded us? where? how?" "because I'm a seal!" 'XD
ah, uraraka got a grapple shot thing. characters keep, like, noticing when they missed something in this and getting themselves some gadget or technique to cover it so they don't miss the same trick twice. it's neat. it's a whole fricking roster of learning robots.
"they were heading to Otheon" othewhat. …okay, phew, I was kinda hoping it wasn't real 'XD
…a family dinner at the todoroki's.
-- calling it, everything's gonna go more or less, idk, stable until bakugo opens his mouth. or that other brother that's there, forget his name, I guess he could start something.
endeavor having his "how do I fix this?" soliloquy again, as if he has any valid moves beyond just disengaging from his family and trying not to fuck things up like that again in the future. kinda wonder if he ever figures that out, or if the writer decides that somehow he does get redemption. any price endeavor could pay would feel far too low.
-- like, I don't get "this character makes no sense" vibes from endeavor like I do with bakugo; endeavor and his family feel intelligently-written to me. …remembering that bakugo is in this show, though, makes me worry that endeavor's and/or shoto's storyline could end up going somewhere that, like, won't sit right.
"I'm sure one day… our whole family… together…" the sister is out of her damn mind, but it's not like [people in abusive families being optimistic like that] is unrealistic either
-- Natsu. Fuyumi, I think, is the sister? they'll show her name again, I'm sure
deku is dang near whispering to todoroki here about "are you getting ready to forgive him?" and everybody in the entire house can hear him. fucking rice paper walls (probably not actually but they apparently are very thin walls), gawd that's terrifying
okay so they do think toya's dead (toya? touya?), wasn't positive.
who is this The Vulture-lookin-ass mfer in the intro with the green tie and the wineglass, do we know him already?
I keep forgetting this intro is called Merry-Go-Round. only anime intros.
"endeavor! my first impression [of you] was fierce red flames!" no shit sherlock, is that your quirk, that you can see?
'XDDD who the hell is this guy driving endeavor's car, where have you been hiding him? guy's hilarious. kurumada, huh?
Killua! that's who kid touya looks like! thought the picture reminded me of someone
(re the todoroki family moving out) "but what will you do, dad?" "I'll remain here" my Disney-rotted brain: "all alone, in that big house. with only his MONEY to comfort him. only his millions and millions of dollars"
prolly should cut it there but ehhhhhhh, one more
ohhh, slendervest. kurogiri. forgot they captured him.
-- (whole… backstory w eraserhead and present mic and what all) …well, wow.
also dr robotnik ig
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