#if we dont end up conversing again i hope you have an amazing break anon. dont set your expectations too high!!!

[awesomehoggirl]

Hi uhm I noticed youre like really cool and youre like. Idk youre just cool I dont know how else to phrase it. And I was wondering what are like. Some things that youd recomend someone to do at least once in their life? Like what are some experinces that you really enjoyed yourself/think youd enjoy a lot that youd recomend to other people ? Idk man Im on break soon, all my friends are busy and Im looking for things to do and you just seemed like a chill person who would give good recs 👍

i gotta say im really not as cool as you think i might be social media distorts stuff i spend most of my time doing boring shit 😭 like scrolling mindlessly watching family guy soap cutting tiktoks or washing up or doing uni work. anyway onto the ideas... if youre near any rivers or lakes or the ocean i would recommend doing something on the water i really like rowing and it is something you can do alone in a day which is so peaceful and rewarding and fun. go to your nearest city and cafe-hop with a book youve been meaning to read! GO TO AN ART GALLERY it is one of my fav things ever to do you will never regret going to an art gallery!!! go to a big one or to local exhibitions... go to art fairs and craft markets and support the local artists there, go see student plays! i once did a pottery making class which was fucking hilarious it was so fun and you can find so many similar things locally, you can make soap or do life drawing or learn to weave. and in doing these things you end up meeting so many people of so many different ages and walks and life AND you can learn so many new skills and find new passions and hear new stories and become involved in your community. GO TO PUNK GIGS! check out your local music scene! last week i got two tickets to a random feminist punk show and put 'hey anyone want this other ticket' on my instagram story and went with a complete stranger and ended the night hugging her at the barrier with loads of new friends. see if there are any flea markets/car boot sales in your area and go and find the weirdest objects and haggle with sellers! one thing i think would be really great to do if youre trying to have fun solo (and if youre the right age and have the financial means) is to book a hotel room/inn/b&b in another town or city or hell another country if youre able and stay there for a night or as long as you like. obvs make sure people know where you are and that you are safe (this one actually might be better to do with one other person) but like... be independent for a night it can be really fun and an amazing learning experience i was able to go abroad independently with a friend this year and as a newly turned adult i felt that throwing myself into a random place id never been to helped me to just kinda. mature in a way. anyway yeah just... go to new places and do new things and learn new skills, indulge your senses always, make a joke out of everything, but get out there and be a little spontaneous because even if youre afraid at first soon enough you wont be. if youre not able to do any of these things then READ. read as much as physically possible. read a different book by a different author in a different genre from a different culture every day. read wikipedia pages and go down rabbit holes. watch 5 different movies and read an essay on each one when youve finished. just like youll never regret going to a show or an art gallery you will never regret any time you spend reading. i have no idea if this was the answer you were looking for but i hope it was at least in the right ballpark or a conveniently adjacent one. if you have any followups or whatever my inbox is always open and i am having a very cool and fun night taking notes on a digital lecture about washington irving i was meant to do last week

#if we dont end up conversing again i hope you have an amazing break anon. dont set your expectations too high!!! #its never 100% fun and coolness its never above 70% unless youre a rockstar and they still have to sit on tourbuses and watch the road #just enjoy the small things as much as possible and try your best to go outside every day even if youre just walking down the road #put on some music make a playlist and get out there!!! id honestly rather have good music than good conversation most days #i really hope you enjoy yourself regardless <3

[stargazing-enby]

I had a dream that harry and draco were both aurors and they were married to ginny and astoria and then got sent to a mission and they had to do a steak out????? But ofc there was tension so they were like uuuuhhhhh we should bring our wives bc uuuuhhh we cant be away from them too long ya know and they all spend a month or two in a house and shit and ginny and astoria fall in love and bc theyre badass ladies they are upfront about it and then harry and draco are like.... Guess we should a dress

our thing too huh?? And then albus and scorpious have 2 moms and 2 dads (ginny and astoria were both pregnant btw, dont know if i already said that) and it was weirdly amazing and i didnt know who else to tell so yea

***

Anon, your mind. First of all, thanks so much for sharing your dream with me because it's honestly amazing. Second of all, I was re-reading your asks the other day wondering if I should try to write this, and soon after that I took the (ill-advised) decision to take a nap and started dreaming about your prompt. Now I feel like I share a special, oneiric connection with you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

Thanks @april-thelightfury115 for betaing!

Drarry | 2.3k | Teen and Up | Falling in Love, Break Up, Getting Together, Kid Fic, Pregnancy | Read on AO3

At first, Ginny had been mad. Offended, even, that her husband had thought it a great idea to make her share a house with Astoria Malfoy for Merlin knew how long while he and Draco ran off to chase some suspect.

“The only thing that woman and I have in common is that we're pregnant,” Ginny had argued, “and that we're both married to bloody idiots!” 

Three weeks into the stakeout, however, Ginny had to admit she’d been wrong. Although wrong wasn't perhaps the most accurate of word choices, since she and Astoria were, like she’d suspected, completely different kinds of people. Where Ginny was passionate and intense, Astoria was quiet, an aura of serenity always surrounding her. Where Ginny bickered and joked and threw jibes around with her husband whenever she had the chance, Astoria was all subtle touches; a small caress to Draco's shoulder before they left home in the morning, a careful take care whispered in his ear. 

Where Ginny was fire, Astoria was water: cleansing and soothing and calm. 

But she had been utterly, dangerously wrong in that she couldn’t help but find Astoria Malfoy intoxicating. 

“Darling.” Astoria had recently taken to calling her that when they were on their own, in a tone that Ginny could not bring herself to believe to be purely neutral. “Are you sure you're not tired? I sincerely doubt they'll arrive before dawn this morning—we don't have to stay awake if you don't want to.”

“No, no—” Ginny couldn’t help but shiver as the small realisation washed over her for seemingly the hundredth time that night: the realisation that Harry, as much as she adored him, could not have had any less to do with her wanting to stay awake. “I don't want to give up the chance to beat you one more time.” 

Astoria smiled at her, cheeky.

“Very well,” she said, and, after a moment, moved one of her knights on the board. She didn't take her eyes off Ginny as the Knight destroyed one of Ginny's pawns; her eyes sparkled with naughty mirth, and Ginny's breath caught. 

A moment later, a wave of guilt drowned the butterflies in her stomach, and Ginny looked down at the chess board and told herself that she was in love with her husband. Utterly, helplessly in love. 

Except you aren't, a little voice said. You love him. You love him more than anything. You’ve loved him since forever; you'll love him for forever, because he'll always be the person who gave you your son. But you are not in love with him anymore. You haven't been for a while now. 

“Ginny.” 

She raised her head. 

“You're not thinking about the game.” 

It wasn't a question. 

Astoria knew. She wasn't stupid. She knew she wasn't meant to be calling Ginny darling, knew of the emotions—deep, fierce, raging—that ran under Ginny's skin whenever they shared a smile, a look; whenever one's fingertips found the other's knuckles and their knees brushed and bumped almost on their own accord in the middle of their nightly conversations. 

“I'm not,” Ginny said. “I'm thinking about us.” 

Astoria let out a breath, shoulders sagging. She looked down, but Ginny waited, gaze steady, for Astoria to look back up at her. 

“It's late,” Astoria said after a moment. 

“I think I'm falling in love with you.”

Astoria closed her eyes, a slow frown twisting her sharp features. 

“I know.” It was barely a murmur. 

“I know you know,” Ginny said, a challenge. 

Astoria met her gaze, then, and Ginny's resolve wavered when she realised just how terrified Astoria was.

“Hey,” Ginny murmured, standing up. Astoria, lips trembling, buckled over to make room for her in the settee. “Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry—” 

“It's not your fault.” Even though her head was turned away from Ginny, Astoria leaned into her touch. “None of this is your fault. Draco is—” Her voice broke, and Ginny held her hand with both of hers, aching, yearning to hold Astoria in her arms and take the pain away. But she couldn't. “Draco is a wonderful man. He's attentive, and loving, and he's funny, and…”

A tear fell into Astoria's shirt over her tummy. 

“And he's my best friend. But he and I are not in love. We never have been.”

That caught Ginny off-guard. 

“Never?” 

Astoria laughed, a broken, pathetic sound. 

“Never. Our parents planned our union soon after I left Hogwarts. I was horrified at first, but after getting to know him, there was a time when I really thought I would fall in love with him in time. That he'd fall in love with me. And we did end up loving each other, mind you: he will always be my closest friend. It's just not…”

“Yeah,” Ginny said softly. “I understand.”

Astoria turned to look at her, then. Seeing her teared up made something inside Ginny snap, and she reached out, held Astoria's cheeks in her hands, thumbing at her messy tears. 

“Harry and I were in love for a long time, but… I think he knows just as well as I do that the love we feel now is purely platonic.” She smiled—chuckled. “In fact, a small part of me suspects whatever he feels for Draco right now is more intense than what he ever felt for me.” 

That tore a laugh out of Astoria. 

“I would not be surprised if that was the case. Those two…” She shook her head. “They're incorrigible.”

Ginny groaned in agreement. A moment later, though, her smile faded away and she was left with Astoria's face cradled in her hands. Their legs pressed together, their eyes searching the other's face. Scared, but hopeful. 

Sliding her hands down Astoria's neck and shoulders, and then squeezing her arms, Ginny let out a slow, deep breath. 

“I think we need to have a conversation with our husbands.”

***

“You… What?” 

To Harry's credit, he looked more baffled than anything else. 

“We're in love,” Astoria repeated, voice steady, but gaze pleading with Draco to understand. 

“I… Okay. Okay. Give me one second.” Harry turned around and sat down on the nearest chair. 

Draco remained still. As far as Ginny was aware, he’d barely even blinked since they'd started explaining the situation to them.

“Are you going to say anything?” Harry asked after a moment, turning to Draco. When Draco shook his head, gaze still fixed in some distant point in space, Harry stood again, leaning his weight against the table. “Okay, so first of all, this is all extremely awkward.” 

“We were aware of that much, thank you,” Astoria said. 

“I mean, both of you are pregnant. With our babies.” He gestured between him and Draco. “Not to mention that we're married, although that's slightly less permanent…” 

Draco huffed, and the three of them turned to him. When he didn't say anything, Harry continued. 

“But I guess it… makes sense? I mean—you two are sort of like… the perfect opposites, you know. I always knew you would get on well. I didn't suspect you'd get on this well, but, hey—” 

“Have you—” Draco's head seemed to be stuck mid-shake, eyes scrunched closed. “Have you done anything? With one another?” 

“No, darling.” The word sounded different, Ginny thought, when Astoria used it for Draco. “We were waiting to tell you.” 

He nodded, but didn't say anything else. When Astoria approached him, Ginny took a step back to give them some space and leaned into the table with Harry. 

“I love you,” she told him. 

“And I you,” Harry said, eyes low. Gulping, he took Ginny's hand in his. “But… I mean, I think both of us had noticed that something was… that something wasn't…” 

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “I know.” 

He looked up at her, and Merlin, he looked so, so vulnerable in that moment that Ginny wished more than ever that she could love him the way he deserved to be loved. But that simply wasn’t for her to do.

“I still would like for us to raise our son together,” he murmured. 

“We will. Harry, I don't care what happens from now on. You're still my best friend, and you're still the father of my kid. Nothing is going to change that. Okay?” 

Harry nodded, and, biting his lip, turned his gaze to Draco and Astoria. After a moment, Ginny did too. 

Draco was crying. 

“Come on, let's give them some space,” she said, pushing herself off the table. Harry followed her out of the room. 

***

“Draco…”

No reply came. Harry looked at him, but Draco's gaze was fixed somewhere outside the car window. 

They'd spent countless hours inside that car, in that very watch post. Hours chatting, and bickering, and taking turns to sleep while the other watched the house for any signs of activity. 

It had never been awkward before now. 

“Look, we need to talk,” Harry said. Draco huffed, unamused. “We need to talk because we both know our wives are not the only ones who’d noticed something wasn’t right before yesterday’s conversation. They were just the only ones brave enough to be upfront about it.” 

In the moment it took Draco to turn around, Harry thought of Draco's head on his shoulder; of the way it had felt when Draco had fallen asleep there, of the way he'd been so careful not to let it fall so Draco wouldn't wake up. He thought of the way their arms brushed whenever they walked, wands in hand, toward a dangerous location. Thought of the very reason they'd been so adamant that their wives should come with them on this mission: a truth they'd refused to confront, and that had gone and slapped them in the face anyway. 

“Do you understand how terrifying this is for me?” Draco finally said, body turned to Harry, but gaze fixed on his knees. “To know that my life as I know it, as I always expected it to be, is over? Do you think”—he looked up at Harry, and Merlin, he looked so scared Harry had to hold back from reaching out to him—“that I haven't noticed that I'm in love with Harry Potter, and not with the woman I'm about to have a baby with?” 

Harry held his breath. Searched in Malfoy's eyes, desperately, for any hint that he was about to take back his words. Then, almost out of breath:

“I'm in love with you too.”

Draco let out a desperate laugh. 

“I know that, you bloody idiot,” he choked out. “Fuck, I know.”

Harry bit his lip. Reached out, rested a hand over Draco's trembling, fisted own. 

For a few moments, neither spoke. 

“I'm sorry,” Harry murmured eventually. “I'm sorry things can't be different.” 

Draco started playing with Harry's fingers, and Harry closed his eyes—marvelled in how warm Draco's hands felt. How careful they were even as he fidgeted. 

“I'm glad they told us,” Draco said. “I want Astoria to be happy, and I know she'd never be completely happy with me.” A sigh. “I wouldn't, either. Not with her. I just… I need some time to come to terms with it.” 

Harry's fingers turned and turned between Draco's nervous own. 

“That's okay. I don't mind waiting for you.”

Their eyes met. 

“Okay,” Draco said. 

Harry squeezed his hand. Smiled. 

“Okay.”

***

The whoosh of the hearth letting someone through was quickly followed by two high-pitched squeals. By two very excited cries of, “Daddy!” 

Harry smiled to himself when he heard Draco's laughter coming from the living room as he—presumably—was tackled to the floor by Albus and Scorpius. 

“Boooys,” Harry called after a moment. “Come grab some cookies from the kitchen!” 

A few seconds later, the two five-year-old tornadoes were rushing toward the tray, barely sparing Harry a glance. Harry shook his head, grinning. 

“Where's my hug?” 

“Daddy!” Albus, face already full of crumbs, ran toward Harry's arms. “Your cookies are the best!” 

“Mmh!” Scorpius agreed. 

“I'm glad you like them.” Harry ruffled Al's hair. “Do save some for later, though!” 

Draco walked in, grabbed a cookie. “How are your mums?” he asked while he gave Harry a sonorous kiss on the cheek, the crumbs on Draco’s mouth scratching against his stubble. 

Harry was about to complain when Albus stretched his arms out, asking to be picked up. 

“They have a date today,” he—quite loudly—whispered in Harry's ear. 

“Do they, now!” 

“A date in a restawant with candles and a lot of different forks,” Albus explained. “And—and they were wearing really pretty dresses!” 

“Really? What colour?” Draco asked, picking Scorpius up too. 

“Mum's was red,” Scorpius said. “And mummy's was, uh, it was really pretty, and—” 

“And sparkly!” Albus squealed. “Black and sparkly!” 

“Wow! I don’t think Draco and I own anything so pretty!” Harry turned to Draco. “What do you think?” 

“Hmmm…” Draco dragged the sound out, sharing a mischievous look with Scorpius. “I’m not sure… I think we might have some sparkly garments hidden in the back of our wardrobe, but I’m sure Al and Scorp won’t be interested in—”

“We want to see!” Scorpius screamed, wiggling in his father’s arms. 

“We want to see, we want to see!” Albus chanted.

Harry and Draco shared a smile. 

“Very well, then,” Draco said solemnly, setting Scorpius down. “Let’s see which of you can find the prettiest clothes in our bedroom for us to wear today.” 

The kids darted upstairs, and, before following them, Harry took Draco’s hand in his and kissed his husband’s cheek in return.

#OTPshipper98 #Drarry #Drarry fic #Drarry squad #Harry Potter #Draco x Harry #Astoria x Ginny #how would you call this ship? #Astinny #that doesn't sound right XD #Pregnancy tw #chess players plase don't murder me if I got chess wrong #I have literally never played it aslkjglks

[the-ghost-king]

you have any nico headcanons where he’s ftm trans but then realizes he’s also nonbinary (he/they/she)? just struggling with gender identity lately ig.

Alright, anon, I hope these help you some, my gender has been rather ~~~ lately, if that makes any sense... I would also like to remind everyone to bind safely and if you need resources on how to safely bind without a binder feel free to reach out to me:

Nico always just knew he was a boy, dresses were a no-go, couldn't stand to wear anything that wasn't undeniably boys clothes

In the beginning Maria thought maybe it was just a texture problem, but when Nico was three she came home to see him cutting all of his hair off she knew it was deeper

This is why they ended up moving to America eventually, Maria decided that if they started over then Nico would be able to be himself

Bianca named him on the way over, she liked the name because they were "winning" by leaving Italy

Nothing really signifigant happens in regards to Nico and his gender through this point, he is able to play freely with other boys, and he goes to school with them and such

The same in the Lotus Hotel, nothing signifigant

When he and Bianca go to Westover Nico is kind of scared the whole time, because he is worried about being "caught", changing for afterschool soccer games and having communal shower spaces at the school is difficult for him to feel comfortable

He usually tries to shower late at night or early in the morning when nobody is around, and that works out okay for him

His chest starts developing around this point and he freaks out, he has no clue how to hide it or how to deal with the new stress

He ends up trying to find Bianca one day, and they do all sorts of crazy stuff to see if they can help, eventually they figure out how to use a piece of cloth they sew together

When Nico ends up at camp alone without Bianca, there's the problem once again of communal showers and they're rarely ever empty

This is how he befriends the Stolls

At some point the pair of them notice Nico is weirdly panicky about the bathrooms so they go stand outside and keep people out when Nico's in there... It's honestly how they perfect their pranking techniques

When Nico runs away from camp upset, just the day before his binder had quit fitting and he had been upset by that because he had to make a binder again

Although his sister dying pushed all other thoughts out of his head, the emotions from previous events were still leftover

This is why he buys his jacket TM, because the layers help hide his chest more and the weight is comfortable

At some point during the Labrynth he ends up binding with ace bandages (AN: Don't do this)

He also starts his period at some time around this point and kind of freaks out "oh no" and it's not entirely that his period bothers him, but more so that he just doesn't know how he's supposed to hide it

He also realizes at some point around here that he likes Percy, which makes him feel odd and more freaked out

He's struggling because "boys are supposed to like girls" and also he's struggling because if most boys oon't have periods and he does... why doesn't his bother him?

Despite Nico himself being trans, he doesn't have the vocabulary to describe anything he's going through, and he doesn't know there's other trans people, or even queer people of any sort

So he sort of begins to question "am I really a boy?" but there's so much going on in the world and he's got so much to do, so he can't really devote much time to thinking about it

Everything continues about canonically until he's in the jar after Tartarus

During a fight with a monster or something he was knocked over, and combine this with the fact that Nico was binding with ace bandages, he definitly breaks a rib

Which makes breathing with little air a lot harder

Eventually he's saved and through ambrosia and nectar Nico manages to heal his ribs a little

He isn't able to bind that whole time though, so he does his best to keep away from The Seven

After Cupid outs him to Jason, Jason asks a few days later if he wants to talk about it, at first Nico is like "no go away I don't like you don't talk to me"

But eventually he opens up to Jason, because Jason was like "I'm sorry you had to do that I promise I won’t tell anyone and if you want to talk we can talk"

Anyhow eventually Nico kind of just breaks down and he's like "I don't know if I'm a boy or a girl? I think I used to be a girl, but now I am a boy and I don't really remember how it happened” or something similar

It takes Jason a moment but eventually he’s like “Oh you’re trans?”

And Nico;s like “heh? What’s that?

And so him and Jason talk, but Jason is only kind of well versed in this topic, so he only covers “basic” MtF and FtM transition because he doesn’t really know enough about other genders to feel comfortable explaining it

And Nico’s like “there’s people? Out there?? Like me??” and he’s just Happy Nico ™

Nico is like “and there are people like me who like boys?”

And Jason is like “Yeah totally!” but internally he’s like (I think so??)

Anyhow Nico feels a little better, but he doesn’t feel perfect, he’s still struggling a little bit internally to recognize that there’s other people like him and he’s not wrong for being him

Anyhow, Jason doesn’t know enough about this stuff to know binders exist, Jason just has a little bit of secondhand information from tv shows and from being from California… He promises he’ll look into various things more when he’s back at camp or has decent access to internet

On Nico’s quest with Reyna and Hedge he obvious evaporates Bryce, and Reyna and Hedge find out

They find out he’s gay as in canon, but they realize he’s trans when caking him in mud

Hedge just goes into dad mode about the situation and is like “son”, “sport”, “kiddo”, “my male child” etc

Reyna knows a little more about trans stuff than Jason, but she’s kind of in the same “ehhh I’m not really sure of a few things” boat, but she’s supportive and she’s like “I will beat anyone who gives you a dirty look up so fast”

Eventually they get to camp, and all that happens

Three days in the infirmary happens, and basically Nico has to tell Will for medical reasons that he’s trans because Nico needs stitches or something

Anyhow Will is like “Oh yeah cool me too, can you take your binder off now?”

And Nico is like “heh???”

Anyhow Will finds out Nico is binding with ace bandages and he’s like “no, don’t do that” and then he goes and finds a proper binder in Nico’s size which he gives to him after his stay is up

When they befriend one another they have a short conversation about gender and Will is discussing like gender theory 101 type stuff, and he’s like “wait why dont you know this- oh yeah you’re from the thirties- wait do you even know what nonbinary means??”

And Nico is just staring at Will like he has three heads for the whole conversation

So Will teaches Nico about gender and pronouns, and gender presentation vs gender identity, etc

And so Nico goes “wait so there are people like me who are also gay?”

And Will is like “I like boys and girls and everything in between so yeah”

And the whole enby thing doesn’t really stick with Nico at that point he’s just like “hmm interesting, so testosterone?”

It’s just not his biggest concern, he’s just happy to know there are in fact others like him, and no he’s not crazy for not being dysphoric over his period, and that’s normal too

And he’s just like “oh so that’s top dysphoria?”

And Will is like “yeah :/”

“Oh :/”

“Mhmm :/”

Anyhow they become like good friends and they start dating sort of on accident, like they’re too close to just argue they’re friends anymore, and at some point Will just shows Nico how to give him a T shot and it’s like chill, they’re chill

Anyhow one day someone is kind of confused by Nico’s gender so they use the word “they” and it makes Nico really happy for some reason, so he goes back to Will and he’s like “tell me about this whole nobinary thing again?”

And Will is like “yes absolutely”

And Nico goes “I think I might be nonbinary can we try new pronouns?”

And so they go through all sorts of new pronouns, and Nico decides he still likes he/him but he also likes they/them and xer/xem… They likes she/her too but Nico finds it too uncomfortable sometimes because it reminds him of dysphoria

Nico decides xyr uncomfortable with using she/her but they like using female gendered terms so he does that

(Listen, I know Will saying “this is my boyfriend” was a big moment but Will calling Nico his “wife” is 10/10)

Nico’s friends are all super supportive and they do their best to learn more about gender and such things in order to better support and care for Nico

They all use different pronouns for xem and some people alternate pronouns too, but Nico knows that takes more practice

But it’s just like good and positive in Nico’s life

And he begins to play with fashion a lot and xe finds out xyr love of skirts with tights and combat boots because it’s 10/10 the best fashion

Nico also loves their big jackets and they just looks so comfy all the time everyone is like “I want to be him” and Nico grows their hair out long again, and gets his ears pierced and xe’s just a nonbinary fashion icon

They are just so cool once they figure out gender more and Nico’s just happy to play around with xyr gender and he just enjoys it

Will doesn’t play around with gender so much, he’s 100% a binary trans guy but T helped make him comfortable enough in his femininity to wear skirts a little bit on the occasion (Will in a cat maid dress 10/10), but heels and skinny jeans for some reason are still big dysphoria triggers for him so he does have some limits on what he’ll wear

Will gets top surgery when he’s like 17 because Naomi is an extremely supportive parent

So that’s how Nico meets Will’s mom and she’s like “it’s so nice to finally meet you!” and Naomi just immediately falls in love with xem and Will is like “I know they’re amazing”

And Nico is just really supportive and they sort of role reverse and Nico plays nurse while Will recovers from top surgery and they has to like brush his teeth and stuff

The experience (despite the fact that Will had an easier recovery) assures Nico in how much he wants top surgery, and he’s sad he’ll have to wait another year until he’s 18 to get it done

Anyhow Hades finds out and agrees to sign the wavers, so once Will is healed up enough to wear he can put his own clothes on and stuff, Nico decides to go through with xyrs own top surgery then too

Reyna comes to help Will take care of Nico, and Jason does too

Originally Will was supposed to help more with Nico’s care but he wasn’t able to do as much as he thought so they had to phone their friends

Eventually they both heal up really well and they’re happy to be done with that

Nico spends time debating testosterone, while Will spends time debating lower surgery

During this time Nico starts art school and Will starts medical school

Meeting more nonbinary people makes Nico feel at home and he determines that xe doesn’t want to go on testosterone but it’s still a maybe in the future

Will however decides he does want lower surgery, so Will and Lou Ellen decide to get lower surgery together as friends so they can share in the pain (Lou Ellen is a trans woman as far as I’m concerned this is canon)

Nico takes some time off to do school from home so he can help the two of them, and Naomi comes to live with them as well for a bit

Will and Nico both finish school eventually and they decide to adopt trans kids to help them out more

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy all of that anon! I'm all ideaed (idea-ed??) out and so I hope this is at least similar to what you were looking for, and this is helpful with your dysphoria somewhat <3

#anon #Asks #nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #will solace #solangelo #i tried to keep it mostly Nico centric

[chocojjk]

Closet

“I thought of a scenario where s/o would be best friends with yangyang (but they both liked each other), one day they was in the dorm spying on kun and he ended up seeing you and to run from you guys locked yourself in your room, s /o pushed yangyang on door so that kun can’t open yangyang ended up being embarrassed for being so close to you, face to face. you can do it smut or fluff, whatever for me, love your writing 💚💚💚”

summary: bff! yangyang stuck in a closet with reader

warnings: suggestive but nothing actually happens, just a bunch of kissing

words: 1.5k

a/n: this was too long to be just a simple date scenario so now its this, not edited as always lol oops.

i hope this meets your expectations anon, enjoy reading! <3

you were chilling at the wayv dorms with your best friend yangyang

the two of you had plans to check out the new restaurant that opened nearby 

but after a very serious conversation 

well,,,

more like,, 

“im too lazy to go, do you just want to stay here and watch movies?”

“yeah”

you guys decided to do just that 

so when kun came home he definitely wasn’t aware of the fact that someone was there

his AirPods in his ears as he danced and sang along obnoxiously to bad alive 

you and yangyang peak through the door, trying to contain ur laughter as kun lets out massive hip thrusts

the man was feeling himself 

yangyang gently pulls you back, a mischievous smile on his face 

“you wanna spy on kun hyung?”

“hell yeah,” you agreed as you quietly cleaned up the room, removing any trace of evidence that the two of you were still in there 

and then yangyang opens his closet, “should we hide in here”

and you just smile at him because it was the perfect place to hide 

the paneled styled closet had holes on it which makes it very easy for the two of you to peek through 

and so you squeeze in there with your favorite brown haired boy 

smiles on your faces 

waiting for kun to enter his shared room with yangyang

after a while, you notice how close you actually were to the boy 

and with the way yangyang suddenly tensed up, you notice that he feels it too 

you guys might be the best of friends but you’ve never been THIS close to each other

your face was literally smushed into his chest so you had to turn your face sideways 

all it takes is for you two to turn at the exact same time and his lips would be on yours 

suddenly, the feelings that you’ve been hiding from the boy in front of you is bubbling up and you feel like you cant breathe 

“maybe this was a bad idea,” you whisper to yangyang as he furiously nods, wanting to get out of the cramped space as much as you do 

and as fast as possible 

but as you try to open the closet, it doesnt budge at all

“umm, yang?”

and he’s just like “oh fuck,” 

“what do you mean, oh fuck!?” you angrily whispered, still keeping as quiet as possible, afraid that kun will discover what was happening 

if kun were to catch you guys, you would be in big trouble 

he probably wont let you in the dorms anymore 

you know this because one time you and yangyang had a food fight in the kitchen and kun didnt let you back in for a month 

what more if he finds out that yall were spying on him?

and yangyang seems to think the same as he quietly whispered a, “i forgot but this closet only opens from the outside,” he admits, an apologetic smile on his face 

“what the fuck are we going to do then???”

“shhhh, y/n, we’ll wait for xiaojun to get home,”

“when is that?!!”

“idk maybe like in an hour?”

an hour

ONE FUCKING HOUR?!?!?

you feel like you were going to throw up 

and it was fucking hot in this closet 

but right as you were about to smack yangyangs shoulder the door opens and you stay as still as possible not even daring to make a sound 

kun enters, food in his hands, as he takes his seat in front of his computer 

he starts watching his own fancams and you and yangyang try to hold back your giggles every time he commented on how great or handsome he was BECAUSE HE IS AND HE SHOULD DO THAT !! I LOVE KUN

the music was loud seeming kun had his computer connected to his gigantic speakers 

being stuck inside the closet wasn’t as bad anymore now that you were distracted and focused on whatever kun was doing 

but that didnt last long because you suddenly started feeling something poking you 

at a very low area may i add

you turn to yangyang, your eyes wide as he tries his best to avoid your stare

“yang, somethings poking me,” you say quietly and he blushes

“im sorry!, i cant control it,” he whispers while you try to hide the smirk that was making its way unto your lips 

you dont know what to do but you definitely needed his dick to stop poking you where you want him the most 

and so you turn around as quietly as possible

but then 

“y/n,” yangyang whispers from behind you, sending shivers down your spine 

you cant believe this is happening right now 

with kun just a couple of feet away from you 

“you made it worse,” yangyang continues after not receiving an answer from you

“oh, im sorry,” you whisper back, quietly giggling, before facing him again 

“do not laugh at me!, i am a normal teenage boy and your hot how am i supposed to keep it down!! y-” he whispers, getting louder with every word

and now youre just nervous because kun might hear him

and so you shut yangyang up by doing the only thing you can think of 

you kissed him 

and as soon as your lips touched his, he didnt hesitate to kiss you back at all

the two of you moving in sync like this was always meant to happen

his hands that were awkwardly at his sides finally making its way around your waists, pulling you closer to him 

and you feel lightheaded because you can feel all of him yet it still wasn’t enough

but you weren’t about to have sex with your best friend 

especially not in his closet while his group mate was in the room 

and yangyang didnt want that either, you meant more to him than that 

kun gets up and exits the room 

you guys pull apart, just staring at each other, reality hitting the both of you like a ton of bricks 

“i cant believe that just happened,” yangyang says breaking the silence 

“do you regret it?” you ask him, afraid of the answer that you might hear 

“no,” he says honestly and you look up at him 

“do you?”

“no.”

yangyang turns your face to him, pressing a soft kiss on your lips

“i cant believe this is how im going to say this but y/n,,, i love you,, in a more than a best friend kind of a way,” he confesses 

and all you do is bring his face down to yours, kissing him again 

you just cant seem to get enough of each other 

“i love you too yang,, in a more than a best friend kind of way”

and even in this dark closet, you can see him smile brightly at you, the same smile that you’ve fallen in love with all these years

and you cant help but mirror his actions 

“so uhmm, do you want me to help you with that?” you tease him and as tempting as it sounds, yangyang scrunches his nose up, a look of disgust displayed on his face 

“no baby, i dont want the first time we touch each other to be in my closet,” he says giggling

but your heart just stops

“i like it when you call me baby,” you whisper, so close to his ear

and yangyang swears if xiaojun didnt enter the room at that moment, he would’ve gone back on what he said and just take you right there 

but xiaojun enters 

and you guys are just like

“xiaojun!!”

poor boy almost had a heart attack because where the hell was that coming from 

“am i dying??” he asks, looking around the room, his hands against his heart 

“xiaojun, you idiot were in the closet!” yangyang yells

“oh”

he opens the closet, “what are you guys doing??”

“nothing!” you say a little too quickly 

“we were spying on kun hyung,” yangyang adds to get rid of any suspicions because he knows damn well that xiaojun catches on quickly 

“okayy,” xiaojun says, eyeing the both of you suspiciously as he makes his way out of the room 

and you and yangyang just look at each other, eyes wide, amazed at how you guys got out of that situation without anyone noticing a single thing 

until 

a pillow was tossed into yangyangs lap while xiaojun runs away yelling “hide your boner before y/n realizes you have a crush on them!”

and that was enough to know that he knows 

realization hits yangyang, “oh god, they’re going to tease the hell out of me,” he says and all you do is laugh at his nervous rambling

“whatever at least im getting some now,” yangyang continues, reassuring himself that hes fine since all youre doing is giggling at him

“excuse me, but you havent “gotten” any,” you point out, eyebrows going up, a playful smile remaining on your lips 

“not yet,” he says smirking before locking his door and pulling you into his lap, finishing what the two of you started 

#liu yangyang #yangyang imagines #yangyang scenarios #yangyang soft #yangyang x you #yangyang x reader #yangyang au #liu yangyang scenarios #liu yangyang x reader #nct #nct scenarios #wayv #wayv scenarios #yangyang fluff #liu yangyang fluff #wayv au #wayv x you #wayv x reader #nct fanfic #wayv yangyang #xiaojun #wayv xiaojun #qian kun #wayv kun #yangyang smut

[shuatoyou]

hello!! can i request a fake dating f2l au with joshua w a bit of jealous joshua and mainly fluff with a teeny bit of angst thanku!

here’s the long awaited request anon! thank you for this i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing.

fluff with some angst i think?

joshua x reader 

wc; 1,896

“y/n are you bringing a date to the wedding?” your mom curiously asks while you observe the dress you had on in the mirror in front of you. the question makes you turn around to face her.

“um no?” you hesitate and your response makes her look up at you.

“bring your boyfriend sweetheart.” she smiles diverting her attention to the dress you had on. “that joshua kid, he’s your boyfriend right?”

“yeah! o-of course” you stammer on your words hoping your mom would take no notice and turn around on your heals swiftly facing the mirror watching your reflection panic.

you and joshua were not dating in fact you doubted he would have any feelings for you whatsoever seeing as you were best friends, however he was a regular plus one to the family events because of them constantly getting on your case about dating and it would be embarrassing for them if their only daughter kept attending these events alone after all they boasted about your social life. so joshua continuously offered to attend alongside you and pretend to be your lover which was a role he played successfully to your luck.

you walked out of the dress store shortly parting ways with your mother to go back to your home with the new dress for the upcoming occasion.

you walk in to your humble abode dropping all your bags down beside the sofa and letting yourself fall onto the soft seat. truthfully you dreaded asking joshua to go to this wedding with you as your date mainly due to the fact you had some unrequited feelings you’d recently develo=ped towards the other but you knew it would be even more awkward asking someone else from your friendship circle so he was the only answer at the end of the day.

picking up your phone you dial joshua’s number startling once you hear his soft voice come through. 

“hey y/n whats up?” joshua asks cheerfully making you close your eyes tightly at the tone of voice that always gave you butterflies.

“nothing much, i was just wondering if you were free this weekend?” you ask him as confidently as you can.

“are you asking me on a date?” at this point you knew he was smirking as he asked that.

“no but i do need someone to go with me to my cousins wedding this saturday. you’re being weird though maybe i’ll ask jeonghan instead” you somewhat tease knowing the boy will object.

“you better not, of course i will be there as your date” he emphasises on the date and you can feel a blush creeping up to your cheeks

“yes you will. my dress is light blue” you state nonchalantly notifying the boy.

“bet you’ll look great, i’ll find a tie to match.”

his sudden compliment catches you completely off guard and its evident as you barely manage to let out a small ‘okay’ a few seconds late causing joshua to chuckle over on his end knowing he had this effect on you.

“bye y/n” he exclaimed before abruptly hanging up. 

you groan into a pillow frustrated wondering how you would get through the weekend, the answer should be like all the other times but you felt nervous nevertheless.

joshua eyed you intently watching you walk over to him with your dress flowing all princess like around you and every little detail such as the colour and the fitting of the stunning material complementing all your features.

“hi” you both breathed out at the same time making eachother giggle in unison.

“you look amazing” joshua smiles opening the door to his car on the passenger side, a gentlemanly courtesy from the one and only gentleman. you blush getting into the car ready to return a compliment to him as he gets in to the driver seat to drive you both to the venue, however nothing leaves your mouth. perhaps it was the nerves.

the drive is filled with joshua talking about his week with you commenting here and there whilst trying to avoid glancing over at him, nodding your head to the music playing quietly from the radio.

thankfully the journey wasn’t longer than twenty minute, at the hall you step out of the car only to be greeted with joshua offering you his arm which you shyly accepted either way as you walked in and began greeting your family with joshua beside you attracting stares left and right.

“y/n sweetheart!” your mother rushes up to you giving you a hug which made you untwine your arm from joshua’s to return it.

“i see you brought your handsome boyfriend” she winks causing joshua to widen his eyes and laugh at the suddenness of her compliment. you glanced up to him to see his cheeks flushed which you found endearing to say the least.

“you guys are sitting over there” she points over to a table a few steps away. “whenever you’re ready come join us” the last words are spoken and soon enough your mother is gone to deal with other business.

joshua turns to you, instinctively you turn around to face him.

“should we go sit down now?” he speaks out watching your gaze soften as you listened to him speak.

you nod so he reaches to hold your hand and leads the way to the table, the sudden action shocked you so you stopped at a halt making joshua stop with you.

“is something wrong?” he asks eyes showing worry.

“no... just- you’ve never done that before” you mutter looking down at your intertwined hands.

“sure i have, but i’m especially your date for tonight so i think i have the privilege to hold your hand even more.” he winks before continuing the way to the table and even pulling out your chair for you to sit making the adults at the table coo at his gentlemanliness.

the entire night joshua spent talking to you, making you laugh here and there at the little jokes he would throw in, hearts doing backflips unknown to one and other but you couldn’t help enjoy the company.

he left momentarily for the bathroom leaving you alone until another figure approached you tapping your shoulder to gain your attention you respond by turning around to see your childhood friend who you immediately stood up to greet the individual.

“seungcheol? it’s been a while!” you exclaim, eyes widening trying to adjust to the new appearance of your long time friend before pulling him into a hug.

“yeah we’ve both changed a bit clearly.” he chuckles looking down at his own suit once pulled away.

“sit, im sure my parents would love to see you again!” you speak out pointing towards the nearest chair as you sit down on your own.

joshua returned to see you in deep conversation with the boy unknown to him the pang of jealousy hit hard causing him to frown at the male at the center of your attention making you laugh like he was earlier. silently he approached taking a seat in the next vacant chair as his previous one was now occupied by the stranger.

it wasn’t long before you to noticed joshua’s presence and you wasted no time introducing the two to each other.

“joshua this is seungcheol, we grew up together and seungcheol this is my date joshua” you introduce the two boys to each other both of them passing on friendly smiles before turning their attention back to you.

“oh are you guys dating?” seungcheol asks genuinely curious.

you stutter unable to answer the sudden question however joshua speaks up anyways. “yeah we are” he reaches to hold your hand repeating the action that turned you into a flustered mess but you nod anyways going along with him.

“im happy for you y/n! i hope you both last a long time” 

seungcheol’s words had more of an effect on you two than expected and it was the same for joshua who you felt squeeze your hand gently.

“anyways, i’m going now but i’ll see you around?” seungcheol gives you both a little wave and you nod in return before watching him walk off. you turn around to joshua straight away only for the boy to let go of your hand and more immersed in a glass of wine.

“you’re gone red” you poke at his cheek snickering ever so slightly making joshua put down his treasured glass to look at you with a blank expression before turning away again. you huff getting up hoping for a slight change of expression from the boy but to your dismay - nothing.

a slow tune started playing and you glanced around to see guests getting up to join the slow dance at the centre of the hall. you sit back down only for joshua to get up this time and hold out his hand to you. puzzled, you give him a questioning look.

“dance with me” he mumbles and you dont waste anymore time giving into dancing with him despite your heart racing like crazy.

to be honest you could barely concentrate on dancing with joshuas hands resting on your waist with yours around his neck. his touch felt like fire and you couldn’t help but feel warm inside despite your nerves now skyrocketing.

“you haven’t given me much attention tonight” joshua spoke with a low tone down into your ear as you both swayed to the gentle music.

“w-what do you mean” you pull back slightly to see his face better but regret it almost immediately realising how close in proximity your faces were.

“i thought it was obvious.” he chuckled and you could feel your heart racing at a dangerous number of miles per minute. sure you were a little bit oblivious but you were scared of misunderstanding his words so you stayed silent not breaking eye contact waiting for him to continue which he did.

“i like you y/n” he muttered once again into your ear, you felt his breath fan your neck sending shivers down your spine and your cheeks burning. the fact that your feelings were not so unrequited brought a lot of shock to you but you couldn’t help the smile now taking over your expression out of happiness.

joshua examines your face searching for an kind of indication you were okay with his confession before setting his gaze onto your rosy lips. you dont hesitate before reaching up to connect your lips that went together perfectly.

the both of you pull away first aware of your surroundings and it wasnt long till both of you were betrayed by the visible blush forming.

the song finally came to a halt and joshua led you outside where it was quieter.

“so what do you say? we should date for real now right?” he’s close to you again and hoping you cant hear the pace of his heart.

“not how i expected to be asked out at someone elses wedding but yes dummy we should” you laugh out lifting up your hand to push back his hair messing it up as joshua’s arms find their way around your waist again pulling you closer to him.

“good” he whispers connecting your lips once again both of you smiling into the kiss feeling pure bliss and completely content with the events of the night.

#anon!! #joshua request #enjoy <3 #seventeen #seventeen blog #joshua hong #joshua #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen request #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #f2l

[ladyxxdaydream]

Of course feel free to ignore this if its stepping boundaries. And if it is im sorry!! Im processing heartbreak of my own (3 years and it ended abruptly last summer) so I feel for you when you talk about yours (though I know yours was longer, im sorry). I actually found NATA a bit after and it seriously helped me through some of the toughest times, I kid you not. And then I'll Fall did as well and then all your others lol. And through falling in love with them I fell back into this fandom and back in love with writing and back in love with loving, honestly?? Despite the pain, those stories kinda made me a romantic lol. I was so hurt (still hurt) but I dunno.. they helped me really wanna do better, get better, strive for more. They helped me not give up on love and not close myself off which I always used to do. Ahh I dunno, I just wanted to let you know that your work has been a big comfort to me. And again if I overstepped, im really sorry!

I read this hours ago, and then re-read it several times, and then sent it to two of my friends, all while crying. I am so, so touched. this is probably one of the sweetest, most amazing things anyone has ever said to me.

i’m going to put the rest of my response under a cut because its gonna be long and your vulnerability is something i want to meet equally.

listen. when i first read this... i wanted to be bitter. bitter because I’ll Fall and NATA are directly influenced by my eight marriage that just ended; those are the only two fics I’ve written that are connected to my relationship, and ironically (or maybe not lol) my most popular and well loved stories. I’ll Fall is the story of how my partner and I met -- some of those scenes are directly lifted from my life -- and so much of myself and my wife are written inside Iruka and Kakashi in NATA, chronicling how our relationship grew over time. Of course, those stories are heavily embellished and transformed into a plot but my point is... reading that they helped you not give up and love, both broke my heart and healed me all at once.

I remember when my relationship ended, NATA was not yet complete, and I had this horrible moment where I thought: “if the seed that directly inspired them ended, then they also need to end.” I LITERALLY CONTEMPLATED DIVORCING THEM. But I am not a horrible person lmaoooo and of course they are a completely different entity than my marriage -- they were inspired by each other, not one in the same.

Even though that was my first reaction to your ask, it quickly faded away. Because... I find it absolutely beautiful and so incredible that my stories made you not give up on love, and to not close yourself off, and help you move on or let go. Because while my love (and your love) ended... it doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. It existed. It was real. And it was beautiful. And then it ended. And that’s okay. Love isn’t finite. And it comes in so many forms. And every variation of it is unique and special. Love will come again. It’ll come many times. Even if it’s not in the form of a person--love is everywhere, and everything.

And you know, writing that final chapter for NATA, a few months after my break up, was actually cathartic. I thought it would feel like a lie, but it didn’t. Writing them reminded me of how beautiful love can be, and I’m really grateful for it. I, too, learned a lot from them. They also served as my coping mechanism so to speak, providing me comfort and security. And I am beyond humbled and thrilled to know it served someone else in the same way.

It’s still hard for me to even comprehend, to be honest; the fact that those two fics inspire such emotional responses from people. But I think the reason people have responded to NATA and I’ll Fall so strongly, is because I laid myself bare. All my vulnerabilities and insecurities, and flaws, and heartbreak (in i’ll fall) are written all over it, as well as my experiences with love, which i’ve been blessed with richly, despite what may have happened. People always say to write what you know, and I guess I took that very literally lmao

anyway. i hope things get easier for you, if they haven’t already. i’m... five months? post-separation and still very much raw. and i gotta say... experiencing a break up during the pandemic is extra hard and weird. our friends cant hold us while we cry. we cant go out dancing or to a bar or do anything even remotely social that might help us ease us down that river of moving on, or give us that feeling of being newly single? idk?  it makes an isolating experience even MORE isolating. and has made the finality seem less real somehow? like ... sometimes i feel like im just waiting to get back together... even though i know thats not going to happen... i dont know if thats just my experience but...fuck.

i think my only advice is just... let yourself feel it. my biggest tool is meditation and trying to stay present. my favorite set of mantras recently is very simple -- each word corresponds with an inhale / exhale:

in/out

deep/slow

calm/ease

smile/release

present moment/wonderful moment.

And this quote by Louise Erdich:

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”   

And this poem by Buddy Wakefield, which might seem like an odd thing to watch while heartbroken but shrug??? lmao it’s a tear-jerking but also a real honest show of love at it’s finest.

And music. Music has always been a balm for my soul. Or cracked me open. Sometimes I need to be cracked open. Crying is the best medicine.

Suit of Armor by Danika Smith

going thru by christian alexander

holy by jamila woods

chin up by yoke lore

conversation by lucy rose

plus a zillion more.

ANYWAY, anon. I’m here for you. And my stories will always be there for you, whenever you need them. 💖 sending all of my love!!!!!!!

#asks #NATA #IFIYD #im still reeling from this #T-T

[taikanyohou]

What do you feel when you're praying?

hiiii anon!! oooooh. this is a really lovely question.

so, as muslims, we have different types of praying, like supplication or remembering Allah and the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through specific phrases, or reciting the Qur'aan. the most common one is the compulsory salah (we have non compulsory forms of it too such as praying salah when you're in desperate times of need or when entering the masjid [mosque] etc). we pray the compulsory prayer 5 times a day, at different time points. each prayer has different lengths, that we measure as raka'ats (units), so they take different lengths of time to pray:

fajr - the just before sunrise prayer. (4 units long).

dhuhr - the afternoon prayer. (12 units long).

asr - the late afternoon prayer. (8 units long).

maghrib - the sunset prayer. (7 units long).

isha - the night prayer. (17 units long).

so, depending on what time of the day it is, i feel different things. my favourite prayer is fajr. and thats simply bc i feel the most amount of peace at that time, bc everyone else is asleep and everything around me is so still and quiet and dark, and i feel my absolute vulnerable then, bc i can cry all i want and no one else apart from Allah knows. and after i finish praying, my heart and my entire body just feels so light? and i can see the sun come up and the sky change colour and hear the birds and its just ... an absolutely spiritual, divine moment. i feel so so so connected with Allah in that moment.

with the rest of the salahs, they become a reprieve from the day for me. its time that i set aside to constantly go back to Allah, take a break, and thank Him for everything He has given me. i feel humbled when i do sujood (where i am literally prostrating on the floor in front of Him). i remember how my entire existence is dependent upon Him and His command.

but i also feel such a sense of unity too with my other muslim brothers and sisters, even tho im praying by myself. bc when muslims pray, we pray facing the qiblah, the direction of the Kabah. and so even when i pray alone, i know that someone somewhere out there in the world is also praying their salah too at the same time as me, regardless of timezones. theres a real sense of community and unity in that. also, when you pray salah alone, the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that angels are praying on your left and right and behind you. so you're never really praying alone. your surrounded by angels.

and i think the entire ritual and act is marked so sacredly, when you hear the Adhan (call to prayer). so you just stop whatever you're doing, make ablution and go and pray. it really helps to just break your day down, and to go and speak to Allah, and communicate with Him, with all your burdens and anxieties. whats beautiful is that in salah, you're praising Him and thanking Him with sacred words, you dont even need to voice out your burdens and anxieties, bc Allah already knows whats in your heart.

and i cry so easily in salah. i think its always helpful to understand the words you pray, and bc i learnt exactly what i pray, the impact is 10 times harder. bc i know i sin, and i know i'm not good and i know i'm imperfect, and yet i'm talking to my Creator and praising and thanking Him bc i'm not worthy, not one bit, and i have no shame in acknowledging that, and yet He accepts me and my imperfections and shortcomings, present even in my acts of worship to Him too, and He sees me try and He gives and gives and gives to me from His mercy and love and bounty and forgiveness. i feel so so seen, despite however small and worthless i feel, bc here He is giving me 5 whole opportunities to go and speak to Him, every single day, scattered throughout the day, so i never feel alone. and i come out of that conversation with so much restored hope and faith and calmness.

and then when i read or listen to the qur'aan being recited? thats just. theres nothing like it. it moves and grounds me. theres so much to learn from it, so many stories and so much history and so much about what has happened and what will happen and so much description and its like a medicine to heal the soul. and when you understand what you read via translation, though it can never do full justice to the arabic text and language, still, theres so much insight and wisdom. yesterday i found this amazing video about why the qur'aan is a linguistic miracle from Allah, and, the more you learn about it, the more deeper your understanding and appreciation becomes.

so yeah, praying just. it refreshes and rejuvenates. it recalibrates and reinvigorates. it grounds and steadies me. i feel humble and peaceful yet hopeful and light hearted. its just ... a very spiritual experience, bc each action that i do in salah means something, whether thats me on the floor prostrating in front of Allah, laying down my pride or ego, or raising my hands to say Allahuakbar and folding them on my chest as a symbol to show that i'm pushing the world away and ive entered my conversation with Allah, or whether thats turning my face to the right and then the left and saying asaalaamualaikum warahmatullah to show ive ended my salah and conversation with Allah and i'm saying "may peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah" to whoever or whichever creation of Allah is around me (including the angels!) and i'm engaging back with the world again. each action signifies something and means something within that communication i have with Allah through prayer.

#faiza answers #aaaaaah anon i loved this question ty so much for sending it!! 🧡🧡🧡

[ultsracha]

Friends to Lovers w/ Eric (tbz)

Request: Anon -  Ok uuuh I’ve never requested before so idk how to word all this but could you maybe write some Eric (the boyz) catching feelings for his best friend and him trying to ask her out ?? And maybe like the other 00 liners making fun of him for being all soft :( I’m sorry I’m trash at explaining stuff <3 Have a wonderful day A/N: Thank you for requesting! im sorry that this isnt the best but i tried !  Warnings: mild angst & swearing

*He looks so teeny tiny in this gif ouchies my heart*

you and Eric had been friends for literally your whole lives 

all of your childhood memories had him in them 

running around the back yard? Eric was right behind you 

Learning how to ride a bike? This dude was the reason you had the courage to do it

So it was no surprise to everyone that all throughout school you stayed friends 

Joined at the hip every second you could be

In class you would sit together and help each other with the work

Of course you had your other friends, 11 of them who were all part of Eric’s band they called ‘The Boyz’ 

They accepted you into their group with open arms

Most nights after school were spent in the practice room with them 

Watching them dance and run around 

Eric always tried to get you involved but that’s a big, fat, nope 

But you literally had the best, best friend 

So, like every other day you’re sat at the lunch table waiting for Eric to get out of his class while you sat with Sunwoo and Hyunjoon 

“You coming stargazing with us tonight?” Sunwoo asks as he shoves a few grapes into his mouth

“Of course, I’ll bring some food if you guys want as well?” you replied

This wasn’t uncommon for you all, to go sit on Kevin’s roof with blankets and snacks and just look at the stars 

“Is Eric coming too?” You ask because let’s face it everything's more fun with him around 

“OoOOoooOOOOoooOOh ‘Is Eric coming too?’ oOOooOo” Hyunjoon teases, nudging your arm 

“Ah fuck off you know it’s not like that, we’ve been friends forever! I can’t go anywhere without him now” 

They both continued to tease and nudge you around until you saw Eric walking over 

As per the routine, you got up and met him halfway across the hall for a massive hug 

“Hey! What’s up? You’re bright red?” He asks after hugging you

“Ohhh nothing, just dumb and dumber trying to steal my last brain cell” you giggle as you both settle into your seats 

Eric draping his arm round your shoulders like he always does 

Sunwoo giving you a sly smirk like he a l w a y s does when you and Eric even look at each other

It wasn’t hard to understand why everyone gave you these looks

Most people assumed you were together

Even some of your family had suspicions because of how close you two were 

but you could only dream... 

This little crush you had started mid teens and had persisted ever since 

Now it was nearing the end of school and here you were, hopelessly in love 

Honestly it had just become a normal part of your life by now and that was okay, as long as you had him with you being your best friend. It was okay

“You’re coming to Kevins tonight yeah?” Eric mumbles into your ear 

Resisting the urge shiver you simply nod and turn away and continue to listen to the bickering of the boys 

After that the day goes on peacefully, Eric walks you to class and kisses your forehead before jogging to his own class 

The bus journey home you guys sit together and share earphones, taking it in turns to choose a song 

“I’ll see you later yeah?” You ask as you both get off the bus at your stop 

“Yeah I might be a bit late though, I’ve got some things to get done beforehand” he replies, throwing his bag over his shoulders 

“Alright, I’ll see you later then!” you start to wave goodbye and of course, as per usual he brings you in for a hug and to kiss your forehead 

and yet again your heart swells and you inwardly scream because why not your lips hm? 

Later that evening Sangyeon picks you up, with Sunwoo and Haknyeon already in the car

Sunwoo on the aux playing some random country music to annoy everyone 

It’s an amazing night to stargaze, you get to Kevins just at the end of sunset where the sky is mostly dark but a lilac hue still coats the edges of the sky

The stars already sparkling 

Kevins roof was your favourite place to be as he lived at the top of a hill, meaning the view of the city below could be seen 

As well as the roof itself having a large flat bit for everyone to cosy up together 

Most of the group are already there setting up blankets and pillows and the speaker

As expected Eric wasn’t there yet so you just dumped out all the snacks you gathered next to the speaker and went to speak to the host

“Did Eric tell you what he had to do tonight?” you ask, watching Kevin struggle to smooth out a massive blanket

“Yes but I’m not telling you, it’s a secret” he replies

“Why? What is it?” your heart starting to race

Did he have a girlfriend? Was he keeping her a secret? Was he bringing her tonight? 

Yes, that’s where your mind goes because, well every girl in the school would be lucky to have him 

“Y/N calm down he’s gone to get something for tonight, don’t worry he’s still your mans but not really your mans” he smirks, patting the top of your head and walking away

You just stand there blinking before realising what he even said, leading you to pursue him to where everyone was sat already 

“He’s not my ‘mans’ Kevin we all know he’s got every girl in the school whipped for him” you sigh, plopping yourself next to Jacob

who was munching on some chips 

“Y/N you’re kidding right?” Sunwoo smirks while Hyunjoon giggles lightly and nods 

“No I’m not, I’m honestly surprised he hasn't got a girlfriend already...” you mumble 

The sad truth being explained to your friends hurt but it wasn’t hard to see, he wasn’t in love with you 

“He has THE biggest crush on you Y/N how do you not see it?” 

You look up from your lap to see everyone nodding in agreement 

Who knew your friends would play such a prank on you

“This isn’t funny guys, you’re just teasing and it’s painful so please can we just change the subject?” 

lets be real it would always hurt knowing how everyone could see how in love you were but how obviously he wasn't 

“Seriously, everyday we see him he talks about how cute you look or how smart you are and how he can’t wait to show you this dance because he wants to impress you” Hyunjoon giggles while Changmin over dramatically nods 

“and how you smell nice all the time” Sunwoo adds rolling his eyes

“they boy’s whipped for you” Hyunjoon continues 

“It’s almost annoying how literally no one exists when you’re around because he’s so focused on you” 

Your heart has literally stopped 

Because ??? Eric???? liking you???? 

“Right let’s quit the teasing because we weren’t even meant to tell her so now you’re gonna have to explain to him about this” Sangyeon scolds the younger ones 

You just lay back into the pillows still not computing 

They have to be lying? He’s never shown any interest in you? 

You hear them still laughing about how your face looks when you’re shocked 

Jacob leans over to whisper “just ignore them, they’re rooting for you” 

You’re just lying on the roof, looking up to the sky with butterflies bursting your stomach and your heart beating like crazy in your chest when you hear Kevins bedroom window open 

“Hey guys, sorry I was late” Eric bursts through the window “I was just getting a few things” 

Everyone greets him but you stay silent, looking up at the sky because you were just TOO nervous to say anything

“You okay?” He asks you, laying down next to you and propping his head on his arm

“Yeah! Just looking at the stars” your voice betraying your panic

He just nods and rolls over to lie on his back next to you 

The night goes on as normal, everyone chatting, listening to music and enjoying the view 

You hop in the conversation every once in a while but the others seem to understand why you’re being more quiet 

Eric hardly speaks to you but never leaves your side, just lying next to you also in his in thoughts 

“What’s up?” You whisper to him after a while

“Just thinking about stuff” He whispers back shifting to lay on his side to look at you 

You look into his eyes and he looks,,, nervous?

“What you thinking about?” you ask, shifting to mirror his position 

“It’s nothing don’t worry Y/N” He replies shaking his head

“You know you can tell me anything Eric we’re best friends...” 

At this he sighs even more and stands up 

“What? What did I do?” You also stand 

He’s already climbing back through Kevins window 

Naturally you follow, heart beating out of your chest at the thought of Eric being upset with you

“Seriously whats wrong? Why can’t you tell me?” You follow him into the room

“Because if I tell you we can’t be friends and it’ll all go wrong so it’s better if I don’t say anything” 

“Why? We’re best friends we’ve always told each other everything whats changed?” 

“Will you please stop saying that?” He almost shouts and spins around to face you

You’ve never seen him this upset before 

Sunwoo and Hyunjoon were wrong, he doesn't love you he doesn't even want to be friends anymore

“Y-y-y-you don’t want to be friends with me anymore?” You splutter out,  tears already brimming in your eyes 

They were so wrong and they couldn't have said what they did at a worse time, giving you that small bubble of hope in your chest for it to be crushed an hour later 

“It’s not that I just....” he trails off, wringing his hands nervously 

“Then what Eric?” You burst into tears, heart almost breaking in that moment 

“Y/N I love you. Fuck. I’m sick of hiding it and being teased all the time for not having the courage to tell you. I fucking love you” 

The tears didn't stop when you rushed over and wrapped your arms around his neck 

Standing on your tiptoes to hug him you felt his arms wrap around your waist 

You both just stood there holding each other

His erratic breathing indicating he’s crying too

“I love you too Eric, so much, for so long” 

You just stayed put in his arms, him stroking the back of your head

“I didn’t believe them when they told me...” you giggle while pulling away to look at him

His eyes just go so wide 

“They did what?” He yelped

“Oh they told me all about how you talk about me all the time and how whipped you are” you giggle even more

The look on his face just makes you laugh harder 

“I’m going to kill them” he growls and charges back through the window

You just smile and follow him onto the roof where everyone was just laughing and nudging Eric around

“So he’s finally confessed!” Jacobs asks you grinning from ear to ear

“It’s about time, now we don’t have to spend every dance practice brainstorming ways to get him to do it” Sunwoo laughs, earning a slap from Eric

Once the teasing died down Eric joined your side leaning against the wall by Kevins window

“So does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” He asks 

And despite the dark you can tell his cheeks are dusted pink

“Of course I will, but what did you need to go get earlier than meant you were late?” 

“Oh,” he wriggled to grab a small packet from his pocket “I was going to confess to you tonight and I bought you this” 

Handing you the packet you open it to find a dainty necklace 

Silver with a small heart pendant on it 

“Eric this is so cute but you didn’t have to buy me something to confess to me” you blush, heart feeling so full it could burst 

“I know but I thought it would help” his smile is so bright and warm

He helps you put on the necklace and the night ends with you falling asleep cuddled into his arms admiring the view 

#tbz #the boyz #eric #tbz eric #eric fluff #tbz fluff #the boyz fluff #the boyz imagine #the boyz fic

[bestabsoluteshitposts]

How ‘Honeymoon’ is saving my life

Quick warning for this little bit of writing here: discussion of suicidal thoughts etc, being grossly emotional about B.A.P, and just generally a whole bunch of Sad Stuff. Also, this is really long 

Anyone in the Discord chat may have come across me talking about this before so I apologise if it sounds like I’m repeating myself.

For my whole life I’ve suffered with self-destructive and even suicidal impulses and thoughts. I’ts not depression, the closest we can pin it to is OCD. As a whole it hasn’t done me an awful lot a damage, but it’s not easy.

2 years ago things did get bad. I was in a difficult situation with friends, in my home, in my Uni education. The lower I got the harder it was to ignore the things my mind was telling me to do. 

I started getting into the fandom of B.A.P during this time despite having been a fan since their debut. To some degree I was probably looking for a distraction or some sort of escapism, but being among other fans brought me many friends I could talk to every day and make me feel a little bit less shit.

Then Yongguk dropped 4:44. I will say outright that this song kept me alive. Several nights I wouldn’t sleep and would just replay this song over and over while I drew all over my skin with felt tips or ripped my clothes apart to relieve the need to break something. Hearing “everything’s gonna be all right” was the way I clung onto my life like a cliff edge. 

I spent a long time not knowing who my bias was exactly but Yongguk openly discussing his mental health and being so determined to protect his members really pushed him up in the ranks. Were it not for him, I’m honestly not entirely sure if I would be alive right now. I can’t fully express how much I adore this man without writing a completely separate essay about it.

As I fell deeper down the rabbit hole that is online Baby fandom I began to crave content that was more to my taste in humour - especially since I’ve been on tumblr since 2010. I made this blog in June 2015. I figured I’d run it for maybe 4 months then abandon or delete it. It was... far more successful than I can have ever imagined and because of it I have met some exceptional people and your continued support is honestly so incredible.

 I know I act like a heartless trashbag a lot of the time but I read all your tags and treasure every kind word you guys say. This blog has honestly been one of the best spur-of-the-moment decisions I’ve made and you’ve all been so wonderful....even though I keep getting in Heated Discourse. I’m so sorry about that. 

When B.A.P returned to TS I was very mixed in my feelings, both full of anger at TS but also glad to know they’d be active again. For anyone who has, for some reason, gone through this whole blog you’ll now the whole story about how it’s been since then. Mostly dandy times.

B.A.P have been a huge part of my life for the past 2 years to the point that I got a Matoki tattooed on my side, and I’ve honestly spent a lot of money supporting these boys that I couldn’t really afford. Hell, I lived off 1 meal a day pasta and ketchup after I bought tickets for LOE London in 2016. 

I can say I have been a lot happier lately, definitely. But, you know, stuff like mental illness doesn’t clear away just because a group of talented men released some amazing music. Not even the Carnival album was going to do that. It may sound weird, but during Yongguk’s haitus i felt closer to him after that, and certainly people became more understanding and supportive of me when I discussed my panic attacks with them. I’m overflowing with happiness seeing how much better Yongguk seems these days, and I hope I’m improving too. 

Honeymoon has a lot of incredible lines in it that upon first hearing made me almost tear up. Hearing these boys who have been through much talk about how good life is, about how it’s worth pulling yourself through hard times, about how much happier they are and how their situation has improved was exactly the sort of message I needed to hear. I’ve spent a long time looping a song about how Yongguk nearly end edit all for himself and just managed to pull through, now I have a beautiful inspiring song about how fantastic and good life is and that staying alive is the best thing you can do. I would honestly put this next to ‘Praying’ by Kesha as a song to give me strength, courage and hope whenever things get too dark. It is absolutely one of my favourite songs they have ever made and it is definitely my favourite MV track they’ve released. 

It’s not been long since the song’s release, but where I was planning to add 4:44 beneath my Matoki I’m now considering adding ‘Life Is Colourful’, which I think portrays the exact message I want to tell myself every day, and make what is a very monochrome tattoo into something spectacular and beautiful that will shine my own colours and B.A.P’s. 

It may sound sad but the cold truth is I am literally staying alive because and for B.A.P. If you have any issue with this and think it’s pathetic or I need a better reason, well, you’re basically saying you’d rather I be dead than have this as an excuse to stay alive. No reason to stay alive is stupid. No matter how small, any reason to keep going is a good reason.

Anyway if you read this whole thing wow I’m impressed and I hope it wasn’t dull or depressing, but these are all my feelings and I’ve opened up in a way I’m not used to. If anyone else has similar thoughts or feelings or wants to add anything of their own experiences feel free to PM me or send an ask (request not to be posted if you want conversation but dont wanna anon) or you know talk about it wherever else you want. I hope everyone’s having a good day and I hope if you’e in a difficult place you know you’re loved, you deserve the best, and things absolutely do get better. 

#big emotional post about stuff #you dont have to read this #personal ramblings and what not

[sexysilverstrider]

FIRST OF ALL DONT!! EVER!!! APOLOGIZE FOR THIS!!! I LOVE THIS SOSOSOOS MUCH HOLY SHIT ANON ARE U PART OF INTSYS COZ HOOOOOOOLY MOTHERFUKCIGNG SHIT!!!!

Hey, sorry but I saw the stuff about the AU where Berkut grew up in Ram Village and I got WAY too into thinking about him as a playable unit and his role in this AU so I went and actually came up with a character sheet for him. Several of the quotes are borrowed from the cut dialogue options video for Berkut. Hope you enjoy! And I apologize for the length. As I said before, I got WAY too into this…

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Berkut

Alm’s cousin who grew up with him in Ram Village. Unlike his canon counterpart, this AU’s Berkut, having been raised in the small village, does not have a prejudice for peasants. That being said, Berkut still grows up with a great deal of pride in himself, a somewhat aggravating level of arrogance and confidence in his own abilities and strength, and an unshakable belief that he is destined for greatness once he grows up and is able to leave the village to make something of himself. His personality didn’t make him very popular when he was younger, however the love and loyalty shared between him and his cousin helped to smooth things over and within a few years everyone in the village was used to Berkut’s personality, knowing he really didn’t mean any harm. Much like Alm, Berkut grew up unaware of his noble lineage, but he wears a ring that Mycen gave him that used to belong to Berkut’s mother (the Keepsake Ring from canon, only in this AU it can only be equipped by Berkut). While Berkut does love his cousin, he is no stranger to bouts of competitiveness and jealousy when it comes to him. In the war, these negative emotions give him more insecurities as Alm is the one chosen to lead the Deliverance, as Alm shows more skills and natural ability as a leader, as it becomes clearer that Alm is the one destined for greatness, further aggravated by the reveal of Alm’s true lineage. But it’s not all negative, as Berkut grows into a fine, reliable soldier in the Deliverance. Alm admires his cousin and makes it clear that he wants Berkut by his side to help all of Valentia in the future. And he even finds love in a Rigelian Saint named Rinea, the daughter of an impoverished noble house who, despite her dislike of battle, joins the Deliverance in hope of finding a way to provide relief for her household. Despite this, Berkut’s growing insecurities make him a prime target for manipulation by the Duma Faithful and possession by Duma himself. And all this comes to a head when the Deliverance must fight against Berkut, either to end him or save him.

  Starting Class: Cavalier

Berkut’s one of a handful of people in Ram Village who owns a horse. It’s only natural he’d be a Cavalier, having been set on it since hearing of Mycen’s own adventures when he was young. His horse is a tame and gentle one, although poor Alm’s hair would disagree with that notion.

  Supports: Alm, Rinea

Berkut’s supports with Alm bring up their competitive nature as well as their mutual admiration, with supports C and B also hinting at Berkut’s growing insecurities. Berkut’s supports with Rinea have Rinea growing less shy and speaking her mind more around Berkut, while Berkut himself trusts her enough to be more open about himself. The A support for both Alm’s conversation and Rinea’s isn’t available until after Berkut’s plot arc is finished, which brings a close to his character arc involving them.

  Battle Against Berkut

Like I said earlier, as a result of both Duma and the Faithful, Berkut finds himself manipulated and possessed, against his former comrades. However, unlike his canon self, this AU’s Berkut hasn’t fully surrendered to Duma. Alm and Rinea try to get through to him and promise to free him from his possession. The battle, if you wish to save Berkut, is simple: rout the enemy (made up of a bunch of Arcanists and a cantor and a Duma Faitful member probably) without killing Berkut. And it’s not like Berkut can be killed in one shot, no his stats and the extra goodies that his possession give him make sure of that. And, to showcase that he IS fighting his possession, his AI will only attack every other turn. Furthermore, his AI does halved damage against either Alm or Rinea. If you successfully rout the enemy while keeping Berkut alive, Alm and Rinea will beg him once more to come to his senses, and their words plus the death of the other enemies is enough for him to break free and land the death blow against the Duma Faithful member. He is, of course, apologetic and guilt-ridden concerning his actions and everything that happened, and I would imagine Alm and Rinea manage to get through to him that they’re happy to have him back. Alm is glad to have his beloved cousin back once more and makes it clear that no matter how strong Alm gets, he’ll always be counting on Berkut. And it would be after this event that Berkut and Rinea get a relationship upgrade. On the other hand, if you go and rout the enemy and also kill off Berkut, of course Alm and Rinea are both horrified, they didn’t want to kill him, they didn’t mean for this to happen. Berkut says there’s nothing to forgive, that it was his fault in the first place for letting his jealousy drive him so far. Berkut wishes them and the rest of his comrades good luck I the future battles, he knows they are strong enough to finish things and free Valentia. He gives Rinea his mother’s ring, having planned on using it to propose after the war (the Keepsake Ring would only be able to be equipped by Rinea form this moment forth). Of course, Alm and Rinea don’t take the death well. In this case, certain dialogue and events in future moments would be changed if Berkut died compared to if he lived. I’d try to write pre and post battle dialogue for this event, especially the special dialogue regarding Alm and Rinea versus Berkut, but I can’t settle on just how I would want it to be like, so I leave that much up to your imagination!

  Battle Quotes

First Turn Selection (Prologue)

“I won’t run!” (full health)

“I can still fight!” (medium health)

“I have to be careful…” (low health)

  Critical Hit (Prologue)

“Leave this place!”

“I won’t lose!”

“Get out!”

  Enemy Dodge (Prologue)

“No!”

  Enemy Deals 1 or No Damage (Prologue)

“Is that all?”

  Finishing Blow (Prologue)

“We’re done!”

  Retreat Quote (Prologue)

“I…I’m sorry I wasn’t better…”

  First Turn Selection (Main Story)

“Very well!” (full health)

“I won’t falter.” (medium health)

“I must tread lightly.” (low health)

  Critical Hit (Main Story)

“Pleasant dreams…”

“It’s all over!”

“Know who you’re facing!”

“Out of my sight!”

  Enemy Dodge (Main Story)

“What?!”

“Damn!”

  Enemy Deals 1 or No Damage (Main Story)

“Pitiful!”

“Was that all?”

  Finishing Blow (Main Story)

“Meet your end!”

“Begone!”

  Defeated Enemy

“The honor was all yours.”

“A disappointing display…”

“I refuse to fall behind!”

  Ally Defeats Enemy (General)

“Very good.”

“A worthy display!”

“We should train together more.”

“Leave some for the rest of us.”

“I must give you credit where it’s due.”

  Ally Defeats Enemy (Alm)

“Excellent form, cousin.”

“I won’t let you have all the glory!”

“*chuckle* You just keep improving, don’t you?”

  Ally Defeats Enemy (Rinea)

“A valiant victory, milady.”

“Keep doing that!”

“It’s a blessing to have you with us.”

  Ally in Trouble (General)

“You need to heal.”

  Ally in Trouble (Alm)

“Heal, you idiot…”

  Ally in Trouble (Rinea)

“You should heal yourself, milady.”

  Healed by Ally

“You’re too kind.”

  Using Healing Items

“What is this swill?” (disliked)

“This is…palatable…” (neutral)

“Very satisfying!” (liked)

“Oh, I do like this!” (loved)

  Summary Screen

“Victory comes naturally to me.” (easy battle)

“Ugh…That was more trouble than they were worth.” (hard battle)

“I should be…more cautious now…” (fatigued)

  Mourning (General)

“Men die…This could be your lot tomorrow…”

  Mourning (Rinea, only available after Berkut’s plot arc)

“Rinea, no! Gods please…Please…Not her…”

  Level Up Quotes

“Strength makes all the difference in battle.” (2+ stats up, HP/Attack/Defense focused)

“I challenge anyone to land a blow against me.” (2+ stats up, Speed/Skill focused)

“I have no need for divine favor.” (2+ stats up, Luck/Resistance focused)

“Hmm? I suppose it was nothing…” (1 stat up)

“It seems I’ve reached my pinnacle!” (most stats capped)

  Class Change Quote

“If I must change to get stronger, so be it.”

  Casual/Retreat Quote

“Ugh! They were…stronger than expected. You’ll have to finish thing up without me.”

  Death Quote (only available after his plot arc is finished)

“How could I be…so damn careless? Alm…It seems I must break my vow to you…Rinea…Forgive…me…”

  Final Battle Quote

“Your madness has brought you to ruin…and you nearly took me down with you. But I have found my peace. Now let me guide you to yours.”

  Others’ Quotes Referring to Him

Berkut Defeats Enemy (Alm)

“Heh…I couldn’t be prouder.”

“You trying to show me up again?”

“As expected from you!”

  Berkut Defeats Enemy (Rinea)

“That was incredible, my lord!”

“You never fail to amaze me.”

“I hope I can protect you one day.”

  Berkut in Trouble (Alm)

“Even you can’t do this forever.”

Berkut in Trouble (Rinea)

“Shall I heal you, my lord?”

  Mourning (Alm, pre-battle with Rudolf)

“Get up, Berkut! We said we’d go home together! Didn’t we?!”

  Mourning (Alm, post-battle with Rudolf)

“*sobs* Damn you, Berkut…You swore you wouldn’t die on me!”

  Mourning (Rinea, pre-end of Berkut’s plot arc)

“My lord! Open your eyes, I beg you!”

  Mourning (Rinea, post-Berkut’s plot arc)

“Berkut, no! My love, please, you can’t leave me!”

  Endings

Berkut Ending (If Rinea Survived)

“Despite having lived in Zofia his whole life, Berkut made a home for himself in Rigel following the war. His cousin appointed him as an advisor and asked for his assistance in helping to unify Valentia from the Rigelian side. Berkut’s efforts endeared him to Rigel’s people, making him quite beloved, despite his somewhat harsh nature. Berkut married Rinea soon after King Alm’s coronation, much to the disappointment of Berkut’s many admirers, the pair building a happy life for themselves and their children in the years after.”

  Berkut Ending (If Rinea Died)

“Following the war, the loss of his love wearing deep on his soul, Berkut never truly settled down in either Zofia or Rigel. Worrying for his cousin, King Alm appointed Berkut as an advisor for Rigel, hoping the position would provide some stability. Berkut took to his work rather well, easing concerns and dealing with tension from rebel groups, becoming a well-respected figure throughout Valentia. However, anyone who knew him would agree that they had rarely seen any other man surrounded by so many people yet look so lonely.”

  Rinea Ending (If Berkut Survived)

“Lady Rinea’s hard work in the war paid off for her family, her noble house saved from total ruin. This brought much more attention to Rinea than she was ever used to, and she never did grow to feel fully comfortable among the other nobility. Rinea found herself most at peace in her beloved, quiet garden, beside her dear husband, Berkut. They made a warm family for themselves in Rigel and lived out the rest of their lives in happiness.”

  Rinea Ending (If Berkut Died)

“Despite her efforts in the war bringing her formerly impoverished house much prestige, Lady Rinea became even more withdrawn than ever, rarely interacting with the public except when absolutely necessary. If there was anyone she did seem to regularly speak with, it was King Alm himself. The pair could be spotted now and then, sometimes in deep conversation and other times silent, helping each other to grieve over their shared loss and becoming dear friends in the process.”

#Berkut #Rinea #Berinea #Alm #Fire Emblem #YALL PLS READ #YAAAAAL #THIS MADE MY DAY FROM THE MOMENT IT APPEARED IN MY INBOX #ANON IF U HEAR ME TALK TO ME #WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS TO ME COZ IM WEAK!!!! #HOLY FUCK!!! #anon #about fee #AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #submission

[aibrechts]

(1 of a lot probably) aaAAAAAND I'm back! This time only at 2am tho haha, and as for why, you see, I met this wonderful, talented young man a few weeks ago and I wouldn't miss talking to him for the world. In any case, on the confidentiality thing, please don't worry meu amigo bonito. I trust your judgement, and either way, I /am/ still masked behind anon y'know hahaha. It's all good

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE A DAY AND IM SO SORRY everything is happening all at once All The Time sighs honestly i wish i could just lay back and bask in ur sunny conversation, even if just for one day;;;

that’s true, that’s true, i think i have an idea of who you are (or rather, which blog you run) but it almost seems a shame to figure out... that being said, if you are who i think you are then your writing is absolutely breathtaking, and as golden as your heart

(onto #2!) Chester seems plenty lovable btw haha. And I gotta agree that it'd be nigh impossible to find a better home for him. What he has with you? That's the genuine article, and you take /extremely/ good care of him and the others to boot. I'm sure even a famous boy like him gets awestruck sometimes by how lucky and loved he is. Poor Wisdom though! Like /damn/ hahaha. Tough break, kiddo. Tough break hahaha. That's what he gets for trashing the joint tho. {~J}

chester is the perfect man, it’s true, and wisdom is an absolute brat but he has his moments lol. he’s growing on me, similar to that fungal infection thats growing all over his poor handsome face :( i gave him a special bath for it yesterday, and he LOVED it, he loves being pampered. fifteen minutes of me scrubbing at all his itchy spots and spraying water in his mouth to keep him happy when i have to hose his face, and he looks so lovely clean now!!!!!

i know, i know, its sounds gross lol but it’s really not so bad. we caught it very early and he gets those baths twice a week, so it’s cleared up really well!!! 

it’s simply the time of year, i think. hot and humid, ponies sweating under their rugs, too many of them with stupid injuries - fudge had surgery on two of his legs a few months ago, and he’s about to start rehab; lulu got a.... skin cancer??? cut out of her stomach, and that’s been delightfully gross to maintain; rudi’s vice is flies - he’s very sensitive on his legs, and kicks so hard that he cuts his own ankles, poor boy; nikki went lame somehow and no one knows how or why but she seems fine now???????; and we were SO WORRIED that chester had an abscess in his hoof bc a big chunk went missing out of it, but the farrier came for him today and everything was fine, the hole trimmed out clean and simple. 

BIG SIGH THEY’RE....... SO DIFFICULT. so much to maintain, and rumple is as sick as ever but he’s old so that hardly counts. the only ones who are really maintaining themselves are wyn and louie, and i honestly don’t know how louie does it with how he runs around like a maniac all day. BUT ANYWAY!!!!

3 never did end up coming through lol so i’ll move right on

(and then there were 4) What can I say? Your silvered light dazzles even the sun, and inspires the moon and stars with its iridescent brilliance. It'd be a crime to put someone so amazing on hold hahaha.

i dont know much lol but i know im a saggittarius. i seem to be surrounded by scorpios at this point in my life, and i can hardly find a thing to complain about. you’re all absolutely wonderful, and i always seem to be quite taken with your crew’s company ahahaha. 

rather, im surrounded by water signs in general LOL. my siblings are each pisces, cancer and scorpio, i met a bartender last night who was a scorpio, and kimmy is one too lmao yall are everywhere and im Loving it

(#5 comin in hOt) You were also right on the water-affinity thing though haha. I actually knew how to swim before I knew how to walk, believe it or not. Anyway, that picture is absolute /gold/. It really is. And the prophesy was fulfilled so completely that even Voldysmoldy was blown away. You look dashing, by the way! 120/10 best wrapping paper boob stuffer. On the subject of talking though, /holy hell/ don't tempt me I would /gladly/ talk with you all day without hesitation hahaha

LAUGHS thank you i certainly try my best. my brother’s a good sport, and i somehow feel like a strong mix between him and the sister im now living with (the cancer, if you’re curious ahaha). every day we’ll find ourselves saying the same thing at the same time, and every now and then she’ll give me a strange look and say i sound just like leo, or even that i look like him for a moment ahahaha. 

it’s interesting, it’s strange. i’ve always looked up to them so much (being the youngest and all), so it feels oddly like a compliment, whenever these things happen. 

(#6)(just think, two more of those and you get one of me hahaha). Onto the sleeve tho! The circle maze sounds /fantastic/, and I bet it looks really cool right now, though I'm sure the finished product will be absolutely astronomical. The design you have in mind sounds /epic/! (for real though tatts are so expensive I feel your pain there hahaha)(may the Force be with you I believe in you)(you got this)(you SO got this)(you're gonna kick this resolution's ass). {~J}

lmaoo thank you thank you, i intend to bust so much money on it this year. i still have my lower forearm to design, but i’ve thoroughly plotted out the rest of my arm; the maze is given to inception, the next installment will be vaguely reminiscent of kingdom hearts, and pokemon will take up the space from halfway up my forearm before turning into cc beyond my elbow. so it’s just that part on the back of my forearm that is a bit of a blank canvas rn ahahaha

(holy hell I might need more than 7) I regretfully inform you though that I can't and I shan't cease to flatter you, because you deserve to know the truth of how talented and wonderful you are. And I definitely agree on the balance thing. The devil is in the details and complexity is key, so all the more reason to be proud of how amazing your works are! And /20k/? /Damn/ that's impressive! (and even tho I prefer halloween, I for one will gladly plunge back into the tinsel for you hahaha) {~J}

it’s officially 22k but i haven’t had time to work on it the past couple of dayssssss BUT I FIGURED OUT THE LAST SCENE so it’s only a matter of spare time lololol

(#8 because what's second christmas without snowmen? lol) I'm glad to hear you've got a pretty solid sleep schedule by the way! (and it definitely /was/ worth the discomfort)(still slept like a rock the followin night tho hahaha). I'm really happy that Alma appears to be defying the odds by the way! True to their namesake, and all thanks to their wonderful father. Sheesh. I knew you were dynamically skilled, but this just proves you're magical haha. In your care? I know they'll flourish. {~J}

LOL i am LOVING these message starters btw. yesss tho my family has always been keen on growing things lol. mum had a magnificent herb garden, and i’ve never seen oregano as big as what’s growing in my garden rn. we just planted dahlias where the sunflowers used to be and i wasn’t sure they’d be alright, but they really seem to be flourishing!! im so glad!!!!

(9/9 for the new record hahaha) I'm so proud of both you and them! Not to be punny, but I'm a sap anyway when it comes to plants. or, well, all of nature really haha, and Alma looks really great from the pic I saw! Anyway, speaking of hocus-pocusing, I hope today has been absolutely magical for you, as you deserve no less than the wondrous and the fantastic. Talk to you soon, meu amigo bonito! {~J}

lmfaooo i love that. and yes, their leaves are so cute!!!! so small!!!!! thank u so much tho, the past couple of days have been pretty great. I’m wondering if i can worm a morning off out of my sister, considering she’ll have a day off on sunday and i’ll be working at the cafe from 7 lol;;;; i desperately want to finish starboy, but time really is my enemy right now ahahahaa

thank you so much for all this, i adore you and i hope you managed to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight!!!! sleep well, i’ll see you soon