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#if you think you got it post a comment on this ask and/or send a new ask and if you're right i'll put your name/username in the next chapter
Note
Haii!
How do we feel about a smut with pornstar reader & pornstar Konig? Like- their comments in their vids/twts/etc. always saying to collab w/ eachother and after awhile, they finally do 👀
-🖤
(Also sorry if I already sent this- I forgot if I did😭)
You didn't! I love the idea of being shipped with Pornstar!König. The Austrian with a monster cock🤤
Pornstar!König x Pornstar!Reader (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, p in v, oral
3.1k word count
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König is famous in the adult film world. During lock down he downloaded Only Fans and ended up making his own account. His striking blue eyes, hidden face mystery, and 6’10 280 lb frame of solid muscles weren’t the only reasons he became so famous; he also has a 10-inch cock the size of most women’s forearms.
You, on the other hand, are a cam girl turned OF girl. You are known by your fan base never being scared of a challenge. You use toys that make people's jaws drop. Your body being strikingly stunning along with a beautiful face and kinky appetite for sex, you blew up quickly on the platform.
Because of the material you make, your fans instantly made you aware of another content creator, König. After about the 100th comment, you decide to go on your X account and check out his page. Instantly you notice the mask covering his face and his blue eyes. His bio gives his height and weight, your jaw drops. You continue to scroll and see a photo he’s recently posted. He’s wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt. His body is stunning, but your eyes drop to the outline of his erection in his pants, his dick literally hanging down his leg. You smirk now, understanding why the fans think you two should film together. You go ahead and give him a follow.
◅  ◃      ▹  ▻
König has also seen the comments. After the first one he instantly looked you up. His eyes shot open when he saw the photo of toys on your profile. Scrolling down a few posts he sees you, and wow. You’re wearing a pink lace thong with your breast fully exposed. You have a sweet smile on your face and you’re standing in a field of wildflowers. You look ethereal. He instantly took notice of you, but contrary to his online persona, he is very socially awkward. He has no idea how to reach out to you, or any girl; that’s why he only posts solo. Then while he is scrolling looking at his feed, he gets a notification. You just followed him.
He quickly sits up and smiles. He clicks your profile and begins to look at all the photos you’ve posted again. His heart rate is picking up, he doesn’t know if he should message you or wait. That’s when your phone chimed and he got the notification that you messaged him.
> “Hey! I’m sure you know of me from your comments 😂, but I’m y/n!”
He reads your message probably ten times before getting the courage to respond to you.
> “Hey, ja, I know you. It’s nice to finally talk.”
He hits send quickly and waits for you to respond. He can feel his heart rate picking up. He hopes that you’re messaging him to make content together. He can feel his excitement rising as his leg bounces waiting for your next message.
You sit feeling nervous yourself as you look down at your phone. He responded so quickly it didn’t give you time to think of a smooth way to ask about a collab. You’ve only ever filmed solo or with women, never a man.
> “I was wondering if you’d be interested in maybe getting together? I see you mostly do solo, so please feel no pressure. I just figured the fans would love it.”
König stands and punches the air like his favorite sports team had just won the big game. Now he just has to act smoothly and not ruin this.
> “I’d love to.”
Both of you do a little celebration dance, feeling excited about the possibility of filming together. You both continue to message back and forth and work out how you’d both meet on account of him being based in Austria, but you both work something out.
◅  ◃      ▹  ▻
One week later you post on your social media accounts a photo of a plane at the airport. The comments explode with assumptions and more tagging of König. During the next few hours, you continue to post your travels while König doesn’t post at all.
That is until he posts a photo of a small feminine hand in his and then you post a bathroom mirror selfie with a man’s large arm around your waist. You sit with König in your Airbnb on the living room sofa, both giggling as people begin to realize the collab is about to happen.
König paid for you to fly to him, picked you up at the airport, and paid for your Airbnb. You knew König was 6’10, but seeing him in person actually blew you away. Plus, he is so sweet. In person, his face remains covered by the mask. You have questions, but you leave it alone.
Your first day together you spend the day going over health, boundaries, safe words, and any questions you might have for each other. Once everything is settled, you both plan to film the next day to allow you to get some rest.
◅  ◃      ▹  ▻
König wakes up early and works out the day of filming. He eats a light breakfast and takes a long shower to help with his nerves. He is excited to have sex with a woman that he knows is very capable of taking someone his size instead of having only the tip of his cock in someone. Getting dressed in sweats and a black shirt, he makes his way to you.
You are currently sitting on the floor in front of a full-length mirror to do your makeup. You just do a light natural look for today. You’re wearing a black silk robe over your nude body with two sets of lingerie set out, waiting to get König’s opinion.
A knock at the door, you jump up and rush to the front door. Smiling, you let König inside and motion for him to follow you to the main bedroom.
“Okay, so I have two options for today and I wanted your input.”
He follows you to see a large king size bed with white lush looking comforters and he feels his nerves spike again. He sees one black lingerie set and then a light pink one that looks like the one from the first photo he ever saw of you.
“Pink, it will look great with your skin tone.” König says looking at you with a soft smile behind his mask.
You grab pink and go to the connected bathroom to get dressed.
König walks around the room and sets up the ring lights and cameras for different angles. He stands looking around and waiting for you. Slowly he takes his shoes off when the bathroom door opens and he gets to see you. He’s seen you naked online, but in person you looked even more perfect. He stands and just looks at you for a while before speaking.
“You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” you can’t help but to find his Austrian accent attractive. “Thanks for setting up too.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem.” König reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it off.
Your eyes go over his body and smirk at how attractive he looks. You notice his erection forming as you walk to the bed.
“Do you want to film everything? Like role play and all?” You ask in a soft voice, the tension in the air heavy as you’re both ready now.
“Uh, let's film it all. I’d rather have more to edit from.” And also, because he’d want to watch these moments with you later.
◅  ◃      ▹  ▻
König lifts his mask slightly, the first time his audience will be seeing his sharp jawline and his thin soft lips. His lips meet yours in a tender first kiss as his hands begin to roam over your body. His hand squeezes your breast gently as your lips part and your tongues caress each other’s.
You move your hand down his chest, feeling the small amount of chest hair the covers his chest. His muscles twitch lightly at your touch. His penis now fully erect in his pants as he tastes your lips and feels the touch of your soft skin.
He moves his hands behind your back and begins to unhook your bra. Slipping the straps off your shoulders slowly before pulling it away from your body. He breaks the kiss and gently leans you back on the bed. His lips kiss all over your breasts until he finds one of your nipples. He licks in slow circles around it before closing his lips and sucking lightly. Opening his mouth again he begins to flick his tongue.
You let out a soft moan as your hand reaches for the back of his head, pressing him against you, the fabric of his mask soft. His other hand goes down to your thighs and begins to gently move up them, caressing the soft skin on the inside of your thighs.
He pulls away from your breasts and whispers to you, “Is it okay if I touch?”
“Yeah,” you smile at him asking for consent.
His hand grabs your leg and moves it to where the camera can see everything, He moves the thin fabric of your thong aside and begins to rub his thick fingers between your folds. You’re already wet when he touches you and that excites him knowing you’re so turned on. He moves his lips back to yours as he gently rubs your clit. Small moans leaving your lips, muffled into his. He eventually slips one finger down and pushes it gently into you. He feels the texture of your walls and feels how tight you are. He can only think about shoving himself deep inside of you, but he wants you to get off first.
He moves his kisses from your lips back down to your breast before kissing down your stomach. He moves your leg a little more as he rests his head on your thigh, he kisses your clit before flicking his tongue. Your legs jerk and you sit up to look down at him eating you out. He can’t get over how good you smell and taste. He is surprised you aren’t selling your panties; men would pay big money for this.
“Oh, fuck König,” you moan caressing the side of his face.
König slips in another finger as picks up his pace, as he continues to lick your clit. Hearing you moan his name means that he is on the right path to get you to orgasm for him. Your hand grasps the fabric of his mask, making him smirk before he switches to begin just sucking your clit. Your legs tremble as you drop your head back and lay back down. The sound of your wet cunt gets louder as you cum on his fingers. He keeps going for a while before pulling back.
You lie there panting before you giggle and sit up, “Your tongue is amazing.”
He chuckles and goes in to kiss you, making you taste your sweet pussy on your own lips. You move your hands to his chest before moving down to his cock, pulling back you pull at the waistband of his sweatpants. His heart rate began to pick up. The videos of you deep throating your toys comes into his mind and he gets excited. Lifting his ass, König helps you pull his sweats off of him, boxers as well.
Seeing his cock spring free makes you smile; his cock is as big as some of your toys. König leans back to support himself on his elbows to allow you room but he still wants to watch.
Grasping his dick at the base, you stroke it lightly as you lick the back of his tip. König’s breathing heavy as his blue eyes watch with anticipation. You move your hand and lick from the base all the way up his shaft, back and forth and a few times before finally wrapping your lips around the head of his cock. You begin to suck on the tip and move your head in a fast motion making König moan out. He reaches down and moves some of your hair out of your face.
“Ah, ja, just like that.” His voice shakes as you keep going.
Finally, you lower your head down the length of his shaft. Your full lips wrapping tightly around him as you take his ten inches inch by inch down your throat. König watches in amazement as he has never had a woman be able to take more than half his cock into their throat. He takes a sharp breath before letting a small moan out.
You feel a bit of pride being able to take someone like him, to make him moan like that. You look up at his eyes as you continue to suck his cock.
“Is this okay?” König asks as his hand moves to the back of your head.
“Mmhhmm,” you respond without stopping.
His hand gently guides you motion as the other one is behind him supporting himself. He lets himself enjoy the pleasure of your skills. Gently lifting your face with one hand he brings your lips to his, lifting his mask and kissing you. He wants you fully now.
Pushing your body back without breaking the kiss, his hands caress your body. You both agreed on no condom but to us the pull out method and since both of you are clean. Slowly pulling away from your soft lips he looks down at you and removes your thong, tossing it to the side.
“Are you ready, Schatz?”
“I am.”
“Gut.”
Grabbing you by your hips he drags you forward. He is such a massive man that he can easily move you. You giggle as he does and he responds with a chuckle of his own.
“Your voice is so sweet.” He tells you as he grasps your thigh as pulls one leg back for the camera view again. He rubs himself back and forth over your folds before he begins to push himself into you. His eyes watch your face to watch for pain or discomfort, yet he sees nothing but bliss.
König pushes himself as far in as your tight cunt will take at first. You moan out, grabbing his arm and the bed sheets. Your sweet pussy welcomes him with a warm wet hug and he pushes in more, a moan leaving his lips as you take him.
“You’re so tight, Schatz.” König speaks with a voice dripping with lust. His hips begin to thrust harder into you, letting his desire take over.
Your lips hug his fat cock as he pumps it into you leaving your creamy cum on his cock. He pulls out and stands to grab one of the cameras. He comes back and points it to your pussy as he slides his cock back into you, recording the way your tight cunt can easily stretch for him.
“Look at that beautiful pussy, you truly take cock so well. So fucking tight.” He picked up his pace, holding the camera in place as you reached down and put your own leg back. Your fingers digging into your own flesh as you moan out his name.
“Please König, fuck me.” You look into his eyes begging for him to get you off again.
König returns the gaze as he fucks you harder. The phone picking up the sounds your pussy is making and both of your moans.
“That’s it, cum for me, good girl.”
Your eyes flutter back as your body tenses, your cunt tightening around his cock. He puts the phone down and fucks you through your orgasm letting the other cameras pick it up. His body leaning into yours as your hands move to his back and begin to drag your nails along his pale skin.
“Good girl,” he whispers to you as he lifts his mask slightly to kiss you all over your neck and face. His hands grasp your body tightly as he continues to thrust into you. His balls begin to tighten and he feels the temptation of just cumming deep inside of you, but he can’t.
Quickly König pulls out and grabs the phone again to record. “Come here,” he grabs your hand to pull you up and sits at the edge of the bed. He points the camera down at you as you scoot closer to his cock.
Moving your pillowy lips up and down his cock, sucking as you do. You begin to lick your own wet from his cock.
“Suck it Liebling,” his voice breathy.
You move your mouth to wrap around his cock again. König grabs your hair in his hand to hold your head steady as he begins to buck his hops forward, face fucking you gently. You look up at him, not breaking eye contact as he looks down at you. He moves his 10-inch cock deeper and deeper as he fucks faster. Your eyes begin to water as you close your eyes.
“Open, look at me. Please.” König moans.
Once your eyes open and you look back up at him, he presses your head all the way down. His cock outline is visible in your throat. You gargle on his cock before he pulls it out and begins to jerk off quickly. You open your mouth and hold your breast up waiting for his load.
He cums on you, letting out loud grunts of pleasure as he does. His milky white seed shoots some on your breast, your mouth, but most on your face. He smiles at how beautiful you look covered in him. You play with it a little for the camera before he stops recording.
You both relax on the bed and pant, relaxing. König looks over to you and gestures for you to come snuggle with him. The other two cameras picked up the sweet moment.
◅  ◃      ▹  ▻
The video blows up on both of your pages. Fans ecstatic to see you get dominated by König’s monster cock finally. The chemistry you both had radiating through the camera adding to the passion. People requesting more and starting to ship the two of you.
You have 5 more days in Austria and König is excited to spend those few days with you. He’s at home, late at night, watching the clips of him snuggling you after sex. A small smile on his face as he watches it over and over. He didn’t want to, but he caught feelings. He wonders if you feel the same.
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wintfleur · 2 days
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ꔫ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ BABES IN BAHAMAS! — Stella Hughes AU!
au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!
°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚。⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!
﹕─┈ pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X Rutger McGroarty )
°. — summary ( Stella and rut in the Bahamas )
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I def want to write a small blurb for them and there trip !!! )
°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )
stellahughes
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liked by _willsmith2, g.brindley4, _alexturcotte and others
🏷️ rutgermcgroarty
🎵Pink + White - Frank Ocean
stellahughes; sorry guys but I’m never leaving 🐚
view all 4,361 comments
📍 rutgermcgroarty the beach ? the bed ? me ?
stellahughes all of above 💋
username HE TOOK HER TO THE BAHAMAS??? 😭
username I think her favorite color is pink . . just a guess
username the shells are everything :(
username Rutgers comment and her response stop I can’t 😫😭
Lilybaileys where’s the bikini pics you promised bbg 😮‍💨
stellahughes check ur dms 🫣
carmenbarlowe THAT CAKE IS STUNNING
stellahughes IT WAS DELICIOUS OMG 🤤
colecaufield not you posting a surf board when we all know you refuse to surf 🤔
stellahughes rut pushed me around on it and it matched my bikini :(
username I wanna be her so bad
username2 I wanna be Rutger so bad 😍
username REALLL
jackhughes going to the Bahamas with your bf while your brother is home struggling from a shoulder surgery is BARBARIC 😑
stellahughes ‘struggling’ hmm sure, Luke has been keeping me updated . . . Mr I can’t stay still.
jackhughes I DONT CARE COME BACK 😡
edwards.73 she’s a mermaid your honor 🧜🏼‍♀️
markestapa we have to watch aquamarine when she comes back
stellahughes DEAL SOLD ‼️
_quinnhughes should have taken me with you guys.
stellahughes YOU HAVE A CUP TO WIN SIR ⁉️⁉️
rutgermcgroarty Next time q!
jackhughes lol imagine being a third wheel @/_quinnhughes
_quinnhughes at least they want me there @/jackhughes
rutgermcgroarty 😦
luca.fantilli wanna play mermaids 🤓 ??
stellahughes I’m Emma ur Cleo 🫵
username imagine going on vacation instead of supporting your brothers…
username she’s such a pick me
elblue6 🩵
trevorzegras why didn’t you tell me YOU WERE LEAVING THE COUNTRY ???
stellahughes i didn’t know until we got to the airport 🤗
trevorzegras . . . bring me back some seashells.
lhughes_06 please come back, I can’t deal with Jack anymore
stellahughes and you think I want to ??
lhughes_06 WE HAVE PLAYED CHESS 6 TIMES TODAY ?!?!
rutgermcgroarty
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liked by cuttergauthier_, franknazar14, gabeperreault44 and others
🏷️ stellahughes
rutgermcgroarty; my girl
comments have been limited
stellahughes ‘my girl’ SORRY THE MOAN I LET OUT
carmenbarlowe STELLA ?
stellahughes 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 🛌 👌🏻👈🏻🤰🏻
carmenbarlowe PUT THE PHONE DOWN
rutgermcgroarty 🧑‍🧑‍🧒🩷 @/stellahughes
carmenbarlowe no no no
stellahughes Alexa play the boy is mine by Ariana Grande 🥰
stellahughes I love you stud 🩷
rutgermcgroarty I love you pretty girl 🩷
lhughes_06 BRING MY SISTER BACK NOW PLEASE
lhughes_06 I TAKE BACK MY APPROVAL
lhughes_06 THIS HAS TO BE KIDNAPPING IN SOME WAY?
luca.fantilli the babes in the bahamas 😍
colecaufield YOU CANT SURF STELLA
stellahughes STOP BEING SUCH A HATER 😡
elblue6 my beautiful daughter 🩵
stellahughes love you mama 🩵
carmenbarlowe not you stealing my job as Stella photographer 😑
rutgermcgroarty what can I say, she prefers me 😏
jackhughes THATS MY SHIRT STELLA ⁉️
jackhughes you klepto 😒
jackhughes UMM WHY DOES SHE HAVE NO TOP ON HUH ???
rutgermcgroarty she’s in her mermaid era 🧜🏼‍♀️
_quinnhughes you look so pretty sissy 🤍
stellahughes I miss you :(
Lilybaileys damnn bbg can I have your number??? 😮‍💨
rutgermcgroarty SHES TAKEN 📵
Lilybaileys RUTGER CAN YOU FIGHT??
rutgermcgroarty I CAN AND I WILL
markestapa pookie is enchanting
stellahughes stopp it 🤭 (keep going)
jacob_truscott20 hurry back children
rutgermcgroarty yes dad
Lilybaileys omg bbg need you so bad 😵‍💫
rutgermcgroarty READ THE CAPTION YOU FREAK
rutgermcgroarty added to their story!
🎵 ordinary girl - Kate Alexa
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[caption1: I think she loves the water now 🩵] [caption2: she fell 2 seconds after I took this pic]
edwards.73 reacted with 🧜🏼‍♀️
_quinnhughes reacted with 🤍
stellahughes replied to your story ‘Iysm but you did not have to expose me like that 🙁’
lhughes_06 reacted with 😒
stellahughes added to their story!
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[caption: take me back 🤍 @/rutgermcgroarty]
carmenbarlowe reacted with 🦶🏻
Lilybaileys reacted with 😝
adamfantilli reacted with ❌
edwards.73 reacted with 👅
g.brindley4 reacted with 🤩
nick_moldenhauer reacted with 😮‍💨
dylanduke25 reacted with 💋
tyler__duke5 reacted with 🦶🏻
luca.fantilli replied to your story ‘For freeeee 🤑🤑’
stellahughes replied with ‘I CANT STAND YOU GUYS’
lhughes_06 replied to your story ‘no I refuse your staying with me’
jackhughes reacted with 👎🏻
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( can you guys tell I was struggling with the comments 🙁 gosh I love them mhm )
°. — taglist ( @toasttt11 @lovings4turn @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs )
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olderthannetfic · 2 days
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Hi! May I rant in your inbox? (Wanted to send a short ask and then there suddenly were more and more words, oops.)
People get riled up over the strangest things. There's a Stardew Valley mod which lets you marry Morris (IIRC it's even called "Marry Morris," but sadly I think it hasn't been updated in a while and is incompatible with the newest version), and I recently looked at Stardew Valley's reddit (I know - terrible mistake), and someone there said they find Morris hot and wanted to have him as an elligible bachelor and people really got upset over that. Oof. I mean some of us like that pretty design of his... If he's busy wooing and doing the farmer, he can't be a dick to his employees, so it's totally beneficial for everybody! :P
Also, whenever someone posts about Xtardew (NSFW sex mod for male farmer and bachelorettes), there will 100% be someone judging them for it in the comments, making weird assumptions about that person's social life, sexual preferences, personality, and sexual proficiency. Such invasive bullshit, ugh.
It's so silly and annoying (but not remotely surprising) that this community for a "wholesome" game that some like to think of as ~cutesy uwu~ is full of purity police officers who will have a breakdown in some youtuber's comments if that gamer plays the game for the first time and doesn't "optimize" everything immediately. (I have actually recently seen that because I discovered that Contrapoints has a livechannel on youtube and watched her first ever attempt at Stardew while she seemed absolutely high, and it was a blast! :D)
Sorry for the rant. I know I'm being harsh and probably quite unfair, but oof! Every time I lurk in that fandom, it makes me not want to engage with it at all, although I'd love to learn how to code and make my own Stardew mods and maybe even share them. Maybe I should just write raunchy hot smutty fanfics of my favourite characters (especially Morris, ha!) instead lol.
--
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mrsbsmooth · 3 days
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Ok I've been in the fandom for about three years now, but I still sometimes feel like I'm on the outside - how do you make close friendships? because I've spoken to many people in this fandom, including you, and I call you guys friends in my head, but I'm too anxious to just talk to people in their inbox just because I like them and I don't wanna be annoying or overstep if you get what I mean
HOLA!
You'd be surprised how often I get asked stuff like this.
Honest answer?
#3: Engaging on tumblr Reblogs, comments, etc. Nothing better than screaming at each other in the comments of a post. I think I'm weird in that I prefer comments to reblogs because it doesn't clog up everyone else's dash. #2: Engaging on Ao3. If you're looking to snag a writer friend, read their fics and comment on them. Then have the same URL on tumblr and send them an ask about it. We are simple beings and easily tricked into friendship if you tell us you like the thing we spent 45 hours writing.
#1: Discord.
I've made so many wonderful friends through tumblr. It's one thing to reblog something or comment (I think comments are better than just a blank reblog, personally), but my friendships within this fandom only kicked off really once I started talking to them on discord.
Of course we've got the Writer's room which is just me, Emma, Bia, Elle and Tammy, and there's a private server for dedicated fanfic writers (although you have to be a writer and also have somewhat of a highly visible presence to be invited to that one. They've had HUGE issues with semi-anonymous people wanting to join and then being trolls or starting drama and wrecking the wonderful friendly vibe.) But there is also an amazing fan server which I believe is still run by @caitkaminski @oliverslove and @rebelrayne. It's an absolutely wonderful place and there's almost always discussion going on in there, especially on episode release day. It's WILD. I highly recommend it. Check their blogs, I think the link is in their bios.
Also, I don't even know who you are (anon obviously) but you're my friend in my head too dw xxx
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shepherdingthepie · 2 days
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Hello!
hi everyone! welcome to my blog! I’m Russet, but you can call me Russ/Russie. I use he/they/it pronouns, and if you could use masc/gender neutral labels/nicknames for me that would be great (like bud, dude, kid, etc)
I can’t think of a ton of triggers on my blog, but if you spot any, send me an ask and I’ll update this! I may swear occasionally but that’s about it!
My collage requests are open! You can request a collage in my ask box with a theriotype or two and a theme. Here are some examples of collages I’ve made:
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Here’s some stuff about me: -I’m a trans guy!
-I am a therian and a furry
-my theriotypes are Australian Shepherd, Golden Retriever, and Gray Wolf
-I’m a minor (15) so no nsfw interaction please!
-I like musicals but especially newsies and Hamilton
-I’m Irish and german!
-I speak English and a bit of Spanish(I take classes at my school)
-I play stardew valley, Pokémon, and legend of zelda
-warriors and wings of fire are my fav fandoms though i occasionally enjoy the newsies fandom
-I’ve got ADHD
-I live in the New England area of America
this blog is a safe space for people from anywhere in the world, any ethnicity, background, race, gender, religion, sexuality, or interests. I DO NOT tolerate racism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-therian or anti-furry comments, and any rude interaction will have you blocked immediately, no questions asked.
I also don’t support radqueers, terfs, zoophiles, or any defenders of those communities. I also ask that any nsfw/kink blogs don’t interact with my posts, so we can keep it pretty pg on here.
Yeah that’s about it! Hope everyone’s having a lovely day:)
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anemoflower · 7 months
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I should think about platonic f/o's more... like as friends / best friends. I don't know why, but the thought of making new friends is a bit... scary to me.
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year
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everyone.. just so u know it is robooty culture for me to take a few days-forever to respond to ur asks or replys on mein poasts okay ^o^ i require time because i get stressed out by literally Anything
#unironically i post drawings for comments and interaction thats why i reward people who send in asks with doodles i wouldnt make posts for#but also im like a fucking nervous dog and if anybody speaks to me i will widen my eyes and break every bone in my body#robooty is wired to get stressed out by literally any event ever#i straight up got stressed out yesterday because i thought about drawing. i didnt even draw. i just thought about it.#i will order french fries and get stressed out not because of ordering cuz i dont got that gay ass social anxiety but cuz i start thinking#about the oceans coral reefs and how im really glad that the christain sisters across the street didnt make a incestuous lovers suicide pact#and that it only happened in a dream not in real life and then start using my mental vision detail of the number 5 apple (best one) to make#myself see flashes of scary demons in dark spots of the room from my mind movie and then think about how i need to watch more tim and eric#(most stressful thought) and then i get my fries and i go thank you! and the orel puppington ass worker at mcdonalds goes have a great night#and flashes me the peace sign for no reason#and imagine that template for every event in my life#but yeah anyways just know that im not responding not cuz i hate you its because i got stressed out probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍DAYON😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍#robooty kun#robooty hellworld#robooty culture#this is not to dissuade anyone from interacting btw#PLEASE INTERACR#PLS COMMENT#PLS SEND ME ASKS#PLSSS PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE IT PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#LUTZ LIKES IT#LUTZ LIKES ITTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
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wickedlittleoz · 6 months
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shaiappreciation · 1 year
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I dont know if youve seen it yet, but there was some new bonus art for the new years and pouf was featured in it lol
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While I've seen this before, this is actually the first time I've ever seen it in English! It's surprising I haven't actually featured it here yet, given that it would have perfect for new year's day 👀 no desire of his own, except to make a special someone happy, which I won't deny is at least a little sweetly worded <3
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veone · 2 years
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…do y’all actually know why berie is being talked about?
#dl#do y’all? because she caused it being immature over a cc master list thinking the person behind it had a vendetta and made a weird post or#two about and then dirty deleted and then her besties brought it up again in discord all argumentive and now all y’all are like y’all talk#about people 😟 vs idk a 30 something year old there a#tantrum over a cc list and blocked everyone who liked it apparently and made a really rash assessment about the op of that list because op#said in context they didn’t follow berie because and blocked them because they made some weird comments about w/w who were lesbains couldn’t#call them selfs butch and was arguing that weird point but because they said that list was outdated and some of the creators were really#the best they have clipping for sims bigger them a size two they wanted to make another master list with more stuff#berie saw this as copying like she’s the only summer who makes bigger sims 🙄 and was bother about it and vauging and answered an ask being#real immature about it and being like we could collaborate you can credit me for….what also having the idea to make a master list of cc for#bigger sims?? this is the shit that’s got everyone talking about her 😂 everyone was rolling their eyes and commenting their thoughts on her#she always acts like this and then deletes it and her freinds and all vauge and everyone all confused#at the end of the day if your being talked for more then a day it because you did something weird or your keeping the shit up#like this is the dumbest thing that has happened in the community#the amount of people who aren’t even see this but should and assume the worst by people talking in discord about people I’m not surprising#at the end of the day though it sucks your getting people people sending you stuff that being said because that’s a really shitty freind#or anon like stop riling people up for nothing#that it I don’t care it’s a public space if you wanna lurk go for it 😂#people literally only get talked about for being weird don’t be weird to people or scammers#that the drama tbh#someone cam into discord being a dick right off the back and got banned then unbanned#so Sashima or whatever your name was you can shut up now
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sallytwo · 1 year
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guys i know its the fever talking but ive spent the last like 24 hours just thinking about seaquest. isee the patterns. i understand it.  do you guys know..?
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sorcerous-caress · 3 months
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I hope you are doing well
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Did I- Did I make it seem like I'm going crazy or something? Like yes I am okay, I promise.
Well, no. I lied, but I'm not worse than normal. I have always been this deranged. It is not out of the ordinary. Why the concerns now?
But thank you anyways, I hope you're doing well too.
#but also like I had 10 different people literally go through my entire catalog of writings and likes and read everything on multiple days#and not a single fucking comment or even a follow#my content is free yes but fuck it is irritating to watch someone consume it all and spend literal hours reading everything I have to offer#things that took me days to write#and they just leave after they're done? with nothing? not a thank you or a fuck you even?#to add insult to injury it's just the meme posts that get comments#sometimes I wanna pull the plug. remove everything I have ever written because no one deserves my effort#but I remind myself it's just the bpd and I'm not like this. these emotions aren't supposed to go this extreme.#then there is the mass effect blog where the sigle time someone sends any ask is to correct me about something they think I'm wrong at#and I remember how this is all started out of love. pure genuine love and passion#but it got reduced to content rather than art. I'm just tired#videogames are nice tho. characters are nice when I land a headshot#and I hate lying. i hate trying to stay inside this bubble of social politeness and never speak about what's effecting me#because it's not seen as cool to be honest with your audience. it's not professional for an artist to feel entitled to interactions#i am always like this. this isn't new. and I'm losing interest.#i will only write whatever fics left I've always wanted to write#do a couple requests then maybe it's time to turn the lights off#not saying I'll abandon this blog but I will definitely update slower and slower because I'm here because I love what I do. i love writing.#and when that love runs out I'll go do something else until another fandom pulls me in#Sol was nice. i love them and I will definitely keep them in my heart
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omgeto · 8 months
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☆ COVER UP — tattoo artist!GETO SUGURU
summary: all you wanted was a cover up tattoo to replace the name your ex left on you. you didn't think you'd be leaving the tattoo shop with a replacement for your ex's tattoo and a replacement for him as well.
wc: 3k
cw: afab!reader, geto gives you backshots, he's kinda obsessed w/ your ass here, unprotected sex (since I forget condoms) BUT he's a gentleman pulls out </3 your kinda a meanie. he's kinda a meanie so light angst (?) but barely. MDNI
an: haven't posted a longer work in a hot minute, but here is how you meet tattoo artist boyfriend!geto soooo give this one a chance big fanks to my lil twat @kazushawty for helping me out and reading bits of it.
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as you push open the heavy glass door of ‘cursed ink studios,’ a subtle bell chimes softly, announcing your presence. instantly, the atmosphere inside crackles with an electric charge. the air is thick with the intoxicating scent of ink, mingling with the sterile bite of antiseptic. the walls are adorned with vivid flash art form a chaotic tapestry, while the rhythmic hum of a tattoo gun echoes through the room.
and there he is, geto suguru – a tall, enigmatic figure with jet-black hair and sleeves of mesmerising tattoos that seem to tell stories of their own. he sits at his workbench, surrounded by an array of ink bottles and tattoo machines, his piercing eyes never leaving the art he's creating. a carefully curated playlist of music plays softly in the background, punctuated by the occasional buzzing of the tattoo gun.
he glances up from his intricate work as you enter, his gaze slowly travelling up and down your form. there's a hint of curiosity in his eyes, as though he's wondering why you, of all people, have ventured into his sacred space. his expression, however, suggests that he's far from thrilled about the interruption.
"need something?" he asks, his irritation evident.
"i need a cover-up” you swallow your nerves, holding your head high, your voice steady, ”my ex's name."
geto raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by your request. "ex's name, huh? you people never learn."
your jaw clenches at his condescending tone. "well, i'm here now, so can you do it or not?"
he continues to scrutinise you, his gaze feeling like a judgmental weight. finally, he nods, albeit reluctantly. "fine, show me."
with a sigh of resignation, you turn around, your heart pounding as you pull down the waistband of your jeans just enough to reveal the offending name covering your left ass cheek. it's a constant reminder of a relationship gone wrong, and you're more than ready to be rid of it.
"this won't be easy," he mutters, his fingers cool against your skin as he traces the outline of the name. his touch lingers, just a little too long, sending an unexpected shiver down your spine. his fingers, skilled and confident, continued to trace the inked letters of your ex's name on your skin — almost toyingly. and you could feel the chill of the tattoo parlour's air-conditioning contrasted by the warmth of his touch.
his voice, though still gruff, held a trace of disgust "who did this?" he asks, not looking up from the tattoo.
you hesitate, your memories of that past relationship flooding back. "my ex-boyfriend," you reply tersely.
geto's fingers stop their tracing, and he lets out a low, almost imperceptible sigh. "you let your boyfriend do a shitty tattoo on you, and you let him make it his name," he mutters, more to himself than to you. "you practically let him brand you."
“is it your job to be such a bitchy artist?” you snap, already fed up by his comments. you’ve heard it from your parents, your friends, ever since you got that trashy tattoo. but couldn't disagree with that sentiment — you knew it was a shit tattoo. “i thought i was paying you for your artistry, not your smart mouth.”
"listen," he growls, his voice low and dangerous. "you walk in here with that god awful mess on your skin, and you've got the nerve to criticise my attitude? if you want to be rid of it, you'll do well to keep that attitude in check, sweetheart."
you bite back a retort, realising that you've indeed crossed a line with your comment. there's a palpable tension in the air now, a simmering anger beneath the surface, and it seems that geto has no intention of backing down.
with a deep breath, you swallow your pride and offer a reluctant apology. "i'm sorry," you mutter, a touch of remorse in your voice. "i shouldn't have snapped at you."
he continues to hold your gaze for a moment, his expression still stern, before finally nodding. "apology accepted."
you didn’t actually have an idea of what you wanted for the cover up, you just knew you needed it gone. geto was a highly sought out cover artist so you had no doubt that he’d be able to do you good. with your initial meeting being heated, you thought it was best to leave him to do his thing.
with a sense of relief that the confrontation has subsided, you decide to give geto some space to work his magic. "i'll leave you to it," you say, your voice quieter now, and you turn away from him.
"good," he mutters, his focus fully on his ipad as he starts to sketch, not even looking as you leave the shop. 
geto usually was quick to draw up tattoo sketches for clients, but when it came to you he was stunned — too busy thinking about how your ass looked rather than what he was meant to tattoo on it. from the moment you stepped in his shop, he was intrigued, you didn’t see the type to get work done by him and the marking stretched on your ass didn’t seem like it would belong to someone with an attitude like yours. 
his mind was anything but focused on the design. he couldn't help but replay the encounter with you in his thoughts, your brashness and the way you'd stood your ground, even under his scrutiny.
"why the hell did she get that shitty tattoo?" he mutters to himself, his fingers deftly working his pen. the sketch was beginning to take shape, but his mind kept drifting back to the curve of your ass. he couldn't deny the attraction he felt, and it frustrated him. he was supposed to be a professional, detached from his clients beyond the art he created on their skin. but something about you had thrown him off balance.
“so you ready to get this tatted on you?” is the first thing he asks when you return the following day. you inspect his sketches in awe, of course you never doubted his talent but you didn’t think he’d be able to draw something you wanted without you even having to say.
“well it seems you do live up to your reputation,” you comment with a neutral facade, but you both know that you were downplaying your excitement — you were pleased. and like with any client, that made geto satisfied that he was doing his job correctly. but when he saw the way your eyes lit up when he initially showed you the sketches, it was a sight he wanted to see again. “i guess we can start the tattoo.”
“okay i’ll get my stuff set up, get rid of those,” he says nodding towards your jeans, “and lay down when you’re ready.” you slip yourself out of your bottoms, leaving the itty bitty thong that you knew you’d need for the appointment and that a small part of you hoped he liked.
he pauses when he sees you laying down on the seat in his station, your head resting in your arms, your ass slightly raised.  ‘this is gonna be a long session,’ he thinks to himself as he smirks, shaking his head as he works his way to his seat.
as he sits down, he places the stencil over your ass, and you berate yourself for getting giddy at the feeling of him rubbing over the design to make sure it was in place — wishing that his hand stayed for longer. 
“how are you with pain?” he asks, and from the way you were laying you weren’t able to see the way he was gawping at your ass.
“what type of pain?” you retort.
“y’know the type of pain where someones drilling into your ass for hours,” he comments as if it’s obvious but you both knew his words were hinting at more than just the tattoo.
“choice words there,” you muse, “but any type of pain i’m alright with, so give me your best.”
geto's needle hovers just above your skin, poised for action. "you sure about that?" he murmurs, his voice low and suggestive.
a coy smile tugs at your lips as you respond, "I can handle it if you can."
with a deliberate, almost tantalising slowness, he lowers the needle to your skin. the first touch is a sharp, stinging sensation, but you refuse to flinch. you're determined to hold your own, to meet geto's challenge head-on.
he continues to work, the needle dancing across your skin with a practised precision. the room is filled with the rhythmic sound of the tattoo machine, creating a hypnotic backdrop to your growing tension.
as minutes turn into hours, you find yourself lost in a strange mixture of pleasure and pain. the pain is undeniable, but there's something oddly exhilarating about it. you steal a glance at geto, his intense focus on his work, and you can't help but wonder if he's enjoying this as much as you are.
"still doing okay?" he asks, his tone a mix of concern and something more primal.
you bite your lower lip, suppressing a moan that threatens to escape. "i told you, i can handle it."
geto smirks, his gaze locked on your ass as he continues to tattoo. "you've got quite the threshold for pain. impressive."
“is it really? i'm sure you’ve worked on a lot of other clients with higher thresholds for pain.”
“but none of them have had an ass like yours though,” he mumbles to himself — but you hear him loud and clear, a grin forming on your face at the confession. “anyways, we’re all done now, go ahead and look in the mirror.”
you stand in the full length mirror, your head slightly turned at an angle as you gawp at your ass. your eyes widen seeing what was once your shitty exes name, now turned into a piece of true art. 
“so what d’you think?” he asks, and you didn’t even notice him coming to stand behind you until you felt his breath on the back of your neck, “this shit is hot right?”
“you can say that again,” you agree, keeping your eyes focused on the tattoo, trying to ignore the quickening of your heart beat at the presence of him, “this is really great though, like i couldn’t imagine my ass could look this good after having that tattooed on on it all his time.”
“well no need to imagine anymore,” geto’s face forms a smiling grin, you can tell he was admiring way more than just his artwork, “you mind if i take a picture… for my instagram?” he says, barely asking as his phone is already out of his pocket and is in his hands, he looks up at you for permission and you give a slight nod before he’s snapping away at your ass.
“are you sure this is for your instagram,” you tease, as he continues to take photos crouched down, as he circles your ass with his phone, “or is this just for your personal wank bank?”
“would you like it to be?” he retorts back swiftly, there wasn’t even any mischief in his eyes as he looks up at you, just pure lust.
“um i–” you stutter, only now feeling exposed — as if he hadn’t been working on your ass already for the past six hours.
“don’t get shy on me now,” he coos, standing up to face you head on, “y’gonna let me finish off making you forget that ex or yours or what?”
“be my guest,” you respond, trying to come across as nonchalant, but the eager look in your eyes gave geto all he needed to know. 
he pushes you softly, as he commands, “hands against the mirror and spread your legs.” and you do just that, as he comes behind you, fitting in between your legs perfectly. his hand forces ur back down, deeping the arch of your spine before both of his hands grab onto your ass.
geto really rubs and digs his thumbs into your cheeks, biting his lip at the sight at the way his fingers mould into your ass. “fuckk man,” he groans out, he’s not even in you yet and he was already obsessed with every inch of you. 
he frees his dick from his pants, and pumps it quickly before sliding it across your already gushing slit. you hiss at the contact, a pleased smile working its way on your face as the tip of his dick edges into you.
“s-shit,” you stammer, as he inches himself into you deeper, “w-what about the rest of the shop?”
“what about them?” he shrugs, “you don’t want them to hear naught you’re being right now? HEY GUYS—”
“oi,” you hiss out, your eyes widening as you turn your head to look directly at him.
“i’m just playing, i’m not ready to share you quite just yet,” he retorts, his dick moving in you at an achingly slow pace, “now, keep your eyes focused on the mirror, and you better not let those hands slip.”
before you can respond, he thrust his hips into you as deep as he could, his dick slamming into you. you moan out at the surprising force, trying your best to keep your palms flat on the surface of the mirror, as you stare straight at him — watching how he works his hands from your ass to your hips so he can drive into you with all of his force. 
“this pussy is s-so fucking good,” he praises, the sloppiness of your cunt making it easy for him to slide his dick in and out of you. “oh and this ass,” he continues giving a hard spank on your ass cheek, to emphasise his point, “c’mon throw your ass back on my dick, i wanna see it bounce.”
you fuck him back, doing exactly as he says, your ass meeting his hips with the same amount of force. his spanks encourage you to be quicker, to give him everything he wants. his repeating, strong strokes, have you feeling weaker, your hands slipping as you try to stay up right, when all you want to do is collapse and cum everywhere. 
“f-fuckk it’s too much,” you whine, as he drills into you.
“nah,” he says, shrugging his head, “it’s not enough,” he lifts up his legs, his digits pressing into your deeper, as he now angles his strokes even further into your pussy, hitting your spot with ease. “give it to me harder, i know you can” he encourages, another two swift spanks landing on your ass.
with his continuous contact of your ass and his hips, and the way his dick pushes into you deeper, you felt like you were splitting in two. but you kept going, thinking back to your earlier conversation, you didn’t want to prove him wrong, you wanted to show him that you can handle it, handle him.
geto was practically beaming, licking his lips feverishly at the sight of your fucked out face through the mirror as he watches himself plough into you, your body rocking forward with every thrust. his eyes concentrate on your ass, as he says, “d’you see how your rocking my work on you now?” and you nod dumbly, too busy trying to reach your climax to string a sentence together, “so fuck that ex of yours and his shitty ass tattooing, from now on you only can me on your body, you got that?” he asks and you nod again, but he shakes his head, his hand moving from your waist to your chin as he grips it making your eyes stay locked on his through the mirror, “i said do you got that?”
“ahhh s-shit yet i do, i do,” you say, mirroring his words, “i will only have you on my body, ‘promise.”
“good girl,” he approves, giving your chin a squeeze before letting go, “now cum.” 
with those simple words, you release all over him, your stance getting weaker, as you shoot out cum all over his dick. he’s quick to pull out of you though, stroking his dick as he sprays his cum all over your ass, with a deep groan.
your hands are still on the wall, as you take deep breaths, trying to recollect yourself. but you turn around swiftly seeing a flash of a camera behind you, and geto is back to crouching down, with his phone out, taking pictures of your cum covered ass.
“you mind if i keep these in my wank bank forreal this time?” he asks, smirking as you nod, “i’ll take some more later, but i got two questions to ask.”
“and those are…” you say, prompting him to continue.
“first, let me take you out after this?” he asks with a smirk, already knowing the answer. after the way he just dicked you down, you’d be a fool not to let him wine and dine you, “second, y’gonna come suffocate my face with that ass of yours or not?” you couldn’t even answer the second question since he’s pulling you down to the floor with him, with a joyous grin on his face.
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AN: IGNORE THE FACT THAT HE CUMS ALL OVER UR FRESH TATTOO. LIKE JUST IGNORE IT. just focus on the fact that you have a lovely ass and geto loves it too. but yes do you want to see more, I HAVE ENOUGH IDEAS TO EVEN MAKE A LIL MASTERLIST FOR IT. I love tattoo artist boyfriend!geto so so much, like when u guys become an established relationship it actually gets so good. BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE THIS ONE, BUT IF U GUYS FW IT I PROMISE ILL ACTUALLY WRITE AND POST THE ONES I LOVE. BUT I FELT LIKE I HAD TO WRITE THIS FIRST SO YOU COULD SEE HOW U AND GETO STARTED. LMK UR THOUGHTS
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euniexenoblade · 2 months
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since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.
but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.
later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.
the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH
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povlnfour · 5 months
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF? — LN4
pairing: lando norris x girlfriend!reader
summary: fans love when you make appearances in landos streams. it’s usually because he doesn’t know where something is, and the internet goes crazy over their favorite certified himbo. on one stream, you get a taste of your own medicine when lando tasks you with turning the live feed off, and fans get a little more of an insight into your relationship
genre: established relationship, humour
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just tweeted
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ user2 just made a thread
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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liked by yourusername and 406,409 others
landonorris dinner date then stream, be there or be square, 6pm
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maxfewtrell did she have to show you how to use a knife and fork too?
yourusername i definitely had to show him how to fill my wine glass up when it was empty
user PUT Y/N ON THE STREAM WE WANT MORE Y/N
user if he comes on in a dress shirt i’m Dead
user oh they’ve all definitely seen the thread😭😭
ੈ✩‧₊˚ user just posted a thread
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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liked by landonorris and 108,654 others
yourusername this time it was my own stupidity that let the secret out. and i didn’t have to show him how to propose! he did it all on his own accord!
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user YOU’RE SUCH AN ICON
user only lando and y/n could accidentally expose their own engagement
user THE CAPTION😭😭 she really has kept him alive all these years huh
user ‘i wouldn’t want to think of a life without you anyway’ now if that’s not meant to be than what is
landonorris i love you
landonorris really quick whilst we’re at it,,, where tf do we keep the spare phone chargers?
yourusername oh.. oh baby. i’ll be home in 5
————
a/n: hELLO! so the snippet from this got over 200 notes and i couldn’t wait to post it because you all loved it so much!
for the rest of my wips, check out the wip game linked in my pinned post!!
all of your feedback over the last few days has made me so happy sjdjsjs, any thoughts please feel free to send i am having so much fun creating for you guys. i seriously appreciate every like comment ask and follow!! anon emojis are now listed in my bio so if you wanna chat a bunch, have a look at what’s free !
- giselle
taglist (found here): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35 @treehouse-house @iloveyou3000morgan
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So apparently the version of the "Isn't It Bromantic" interview that gets passed around isn't the full thing
So after seeing a tumblr post I can't find, about two and half hours of intensive internet digging, and one purchase from a sketchy second-hand site later (full story under the cut, I promise it's interesting, but also long), I got the physical magazine and scanned it
So here you go: the full "Isn't It Bromantic?" TV guide interview with Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie
Feel free to repost wherever you want- I want people to be able to find the full thing
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SO, as for how I found it:
I saw this tumblr post forever ago that I can't find anymore because tumblr is just Like That with a cropped screenshot of an interview with Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard. In the interview, they're asked about the "bromance" between their two characters. Leonard makes an annoyed comment about how "everyone [is] obsessed with homosexuality", followed by the interview apologizing and Laurie immediately jumping in with, "No, no, let's talk about it. Wilson and House have an unusual relationship so you have to explore…" and the screenshot cuts off there. Cue funny comment from the OP about the interaction, roll credits.
Except, as these things tend to do, it ended up becoming a bit of a brain worm, and I wanted to find it again. But I couldn't find the tumblr post. I looked absolutely everywhere, and in the process of looking everywhere, I found what I thought was the original interview- a blog post with the full quote from the actor. I didn't think too much about it, I figured it was just a short quote given to a popular blog in 2008. There's a magazine cover above it, but I don't think too much about it, because I'm focusing on the quotes in the article instead of the rest of it.
So I send screenshots to a couple friends to make jokes, and it probably should have died there.
However, late at night I end up thinking about that interview again, because of course I did. I start to think about how it's weirdly formatted for, what I assumed at first reading, was just an entertainment news blog reaching out for comment and getting a response. So I pull up the screenshots of the article (because weirdly enough, the old-ass blog only loads on mobile) and look at it again.
This is when I realize that this isn't an original piece from a blog interviewing these two after reaching out for comment. This is a blog post quoting and commenting on a full interview from a magazine, which I had originally thought had just been the inspiration for the piece.
So naturally, I go looking for the magazine.
Luckily, the name of the magazine is displayed on the cover, and so is the title of its main piece. This should be easy to find, right?
Wrong.
This is an interview in a physical magazine. From 2008. October 13th, 2008, to be exact.
I know this exact date because searching the article title and magazine name leads me to an archive on the TV Guide website.
Of covers.
And nothing but covers.
I spend like forty-five minutes searching everywhere I can think of on the web. Internet Archive, the TV Guide website, any search result that comes up when I search any combination of the words "House" "Interview" "Bromantic" "Bromance" "TV Guide" "Archive" etc. Over and over, all that's coming up are that original blog post and the cover from the official gallery.
The only things I could find online were:
The cover and date of the issue on the TV Guide website
The original blog post that was screenshotted in the original tumblr post
Another blog post that had a much shorter version of the quote, references something Leonard says from later in the article, and makes a comment on the nature of his reaction to the term "bromance"
An entry on Leonard's IMDB page's "interview" list mentioning it in title only
And:
5. A single listing for the issue on what seemed to be a second-hand site that looked like it hadn't had its UI updated since the mid 2000's, with a listing with no date or additional information besides what issue it is.
This is the only listing anywhere. I checked every other second-hand site I could think of, and then some that only came up through google searches. There's not a single listing for that issue on any of them. There were plenty of listings of TV guide magazines, including one that seemed promising because it included issues from that year, but it was missing all of October.
It seemed like the only listing for this issue on the entire internet was this one copy on this one obscure website. For all I know, this was listed in 2008 and abandoned, and just never got marked inactive. It could also be a complete scam.
A few quick google searches show that that website seemed to be legit, albeit a bit loose on quality control (which makes sense, this website seemed like the kind of thing you'd have to use the Way Back Machine to access). It also had an option to pay via PayPal, which meant I could file a chargeback if need be.
It was $11.50 when you include shipping.
So at about half past midnight, I bought the listing.
Naturally, about an hour later, I manage to actually find a scan of the interview. I had to follow a link in the comments of a post on FanPop, taking me to an old wordpress blog, and I'm sitting in front of the damn interview at last.
But something doesn't make sense. Why would their cover story only be two pages of text that aren't even full pages, and why would it cut off so strangely? There was no concluding sentence or paragraph, even though it started with a fairly long lead-in. It also led right up to the edge of the page, which felt like there should be more to it. There were more images in the interview than text, and the fact that there are so many of them and they clearly did a whole photoshoot indicated that they had them on hand for a while. The silly string one, for instance, I imagine probably had to require a couple takes, which means cleaning off Wilson's hair and face, adjusting makeup, etc. for it. Meanwhile, the conversation itself seems like it could have taken ten minutes total. I could have been totally wrong and that was where the article ended, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be more.
So I hold tight. A couple days pass with no update, and then the PayPal purchase gets updated with a tracking number. Promising, but it could still be a scam. Whether or not I get the actual magazine becomes a source of anxiety for the next week.
Until today, when I get told it was delivered. And when I opened the envelope it was sent in: there it was.
When I tell you I was happy stimming in my bedroom just holding the damn issue in my own hands... And then opening it and finding out that I was right, there was a missing page... I was elated. I still am, just typing this.
So I spent half an hour getting my scanner to work, and I give you the above issues.
Like I said above, feel free to repost however and wherever you want. I want all this to mean something.
In the meantime, I have two more House-themed TV Guide magazines coming to try and get articles from.
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