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berriblossom · 9 months

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KUKI MY LAD!!!

ITS ME AGAIN! (v)

( Barely proof red im half awake ^^" )

I've been seeing some very good responces to the other ask i had done, and i've just had so many ideas! But i really didnt want to stress you out, do im leaving you with this mini ask ( please dont push yourself to start it, i dont want this to become a chore instead of a little side hobby)

This is another papa zhongli ask, with the beast swan little baby reader (i love them so much platonically ♡♡♡)

Are you able to do a uncle put down for me? (Its like putting a kid to bed) with xiao ? Or... mayhaps a auntie put down with like.. ninnguane or something!! (Idk how to spell her name off the top of my head, i also just see her as the rich aunt typa person)

Once again, please take your time and make sure to have fun! (Btw if its alright with you, i might start leaving little incouragemental askes every once in a while ^^)

Im so eepy TT

GOODNIGHT FRIEND !! (ITS 5 AM HELP ME !! )

- (v)

Ahh, more ask! Im totally fine with all the encouragements! These ask make my day! Headcanon time!

When evening comes, who will tuck you in and kiss you goodnight?

Featuring: Childe, Beidou, Ganyu, Ningguang, Shenhe, Xiao, and Papa Zhongli.

✄-----------------------------------------------

Say what you will about the Fatui harbinger. He may have tried to bring the fall of Liyue, destroy its economy, and somewhat helped in the brutal slaying of its archon before the people's own eyes.

Childe [Uncle TarTag]

But he will be the best uncle no matter what. No matter what.

So when it is time for you to go to bed, he will sometimes procrastinate when you plead with him. "One more game, Uncle Tartag! One more movie, Uncle Tartag! One more!" You bet any money he will watch your favorite movie or read your favorite stories with you before putting you down for a nap or for bedtime.

When he is tucking you in, he is a little rough, to say the least. When you're tucked in. You are tucked in. Like you can't move too much, his strength gets the better of him.

Your bedtime story will have some sort of fighting or violence, which Zhongli has lectured him about. You might be an illuminated beast, but you are still a child. He even got in trouble for telling you to say, "The Tsarita is better than Morax" in a story he told you, and Zhongli wanted to murder him.

Rating: 7/10, he is trying but needs some work in the story department.

You will never be sleeping on her ship. Nit at night, at least. Zhongli has a fear thar if you sleep on her ship, you'll be in another nation by dawn. So yeah, no sleeping on Aunty Beidou's ship. But you can take naps!

Beidou [Captain Aunty Beidou]

Beidou will tell you her stories at sea, how she defeated Haishan, and the stories of her crew. She will never sing any sea shanty's...for reasons. But she'll let Kazuha tell you haikuu's. You can run around the ship until. You're tired out and come lay on her lap for a little nap.

The ship and crew will try to be quiet under Beidou's watch and orders for your nap. She'll let you use her coat as a blankie and kiss your forehead to let you have a few minutes of nap time.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10, only because you can't spend the night but she is good!

Ganyu [Big sister Ganyu]

Now, Ganyu is the queen of naptime with you. Putting you to bed, a little different.

When she puts you down for sleep, she slowly falls asleep, too. She makes your bed extra confy when you're at Jueyun Karst, too comfy. When its bed time, shell read you a bedtime story about Rex Lapis, the Adepti like Aunty Cloudy [cloud retainer].

But slowly and quickly, she will fall asleep with you. She has a small Qilin night light for you, similar to her Cryo globe she makes. She'll have some cool warer near your little setup and some snacks.

By the time she is done reading, she'll be laying beside you, drifting off into sleep with you. She'll let you cuddle her and hold her is you get scared like a good big sister.

Rating: 8/10, she is just a little sleepy, but you're not complaining.

Ningguang [Aunty Ning-Ning]

The times Ganyu has accidently had late nights with you, Ningguang is more than honored to let you hang out with her. Your day is filled with shopping, museums, arts trips, and all the natural beauty of Liyue presented to you on a platter. All for her little swan. Zhongli was fine for you to stay in the Jade Chamber as long as you are respectful and polite.

Ningguang would set you up in a room not far from her desk area or place you on a couch near her office area. She'll get you blankets of the finest cotton, silk, or any fabric. She'll give you some nice cushions for comfort and a nice cup of tea to help you settle down for naps.

She will kiss your head, give you some delicate cuddles, and place you down on her lap if you asked her politely.

If she is in a meeting? Oh, put it on hold real quick, her little swan needs their nightly cuddles and she needs to get it done. Want some tea before bed? Oh, she has it done and will have you in some beautiful silk pajamas while she is at it.

Want to sleep in her expensive bed with her and your plushie, oh she will make some room and let your plushie have its own pillow too.

Ningguang can be really serious at times but if you need her to tuck you in before bed and ask her to tell a story, she will buy the best children's literature book ever written just to read it to you and kiss you goodnight. Yes, she will.

Rating: 7.5/10, your rich Aunty has you covered.

Shenhe [Big sister Shenhe]

She would be lost at first, she knows you aren't human so why sleep like one? But once Ganyu and Cloud Retainer gets it through to her that you are raised in the human world despite being an Adeptus, you act the way you do. Similar to your sleep.

So in some ways, your situation is the opposite but similar to hers.

In comes protective Shenhe mode.

Whatever you want for your nightly routine, she is going to find it, get it, or make Ganyu buy it. She'll learn from Zhongli and Cloud Retainer how to brew and make tea, just for you.

If you ever call her "big sister Shenhe" in your sleep, her yearning to keep you safe even in your dreams grows. Do you want her to kiss your duckie goodnight? She will and tuck it in too beside you. Similarly, with Childe, she can be a little harsh on tucking you in, but over time she learns how to reel it back in.

Do you like her cryo spirits that swirl around you? She'll use them to keep your room cool at night during warm nights.

Want her to tell you stories? She will spend time with the traveler just to come back and tell you about it.

Rating: 8/10, she's a little confused but goodness she has the spirit.

Need him to hold your hand when you get scared of the dark? He will ask Verr Godlet to borrow a night light for you. Or better yet, he will find or make one. He will also still hold your hand.

Xiao [Big Brother Xiao]

Now, this big brother, the conquerer of demons, is the only surviving Yakasha.

He will spoon-feed you almond tofu if you need it before bed. Hell, he will learn the recipe and make it for you. Want to sit on the terrace of the Wangshuu Inn and say hello to the moon? He will have you in his lap while you do it.

Need a little cool air because the room is stuffy or warm? he'll use his anemo vision to bring in a gentle breeze. He will have everything you like and don't like down on a list.

Too much noise? He will find the source and silence it.

Want a bath before bedtime? He will test the temperature himself, and make sure to get your rubber duckies in too.

Need some tea? What's the brew? What type? Hell, where is the leaf so he can pick it himself and make it?

Xiao would sleep beside you too even if he is tense and still as stone. But he will mellow out once hearing you have your big brother here to protect you. Yeah, he will be there to protect you.

Rating: 8.5/10, he will do it only for you. Only for his little sibling.

Zhongli is the standard setter of what bedtime should be like.

Zhongli [He needs no introduction]

Zhongli will not only have your bath ready for when bedtime comes, but also your favorite night-time tea is on the stove ready too. He will pull out your little dragon onesie, with the horns on the hood too. And a little tail, and will put your little yellow socks on too.

You can run around while he folds up your towel and clothes for the next day saying you're a dragon and he will play along, even teaching you about how real dragons act and fly. Zhongli will give you the tea in your special teacup with two pinches of sugar just for you.

Want a little snack? He will be making you little biscuits to enjoy with your tea like little cookies.

When it's really time to settle you in, he will have your nightlight on while reading you a bedtime story. He is the king of bedtime stories he can tell you a story you've heard 100 times like it's never been told before. Want a story about Rex Lapis and the Adepti? He has one, and wants one about the Stove God? he will tell it all.

He will tuck you in gently, making sure you are fully covered and secure. The window will be cracked slightly for some fresh air, and also the coolness.

Have a nightmare and need your Papa?

He will hold you close to his chest and will console you while you cry and talk about it. Assuring you, that your Papa will always come and save you, even from the dark.

He will kiss your forehead and cheeks goodnight, even your plushies too. Repeating how much he loves you, how happy he is to be your papa, and how lucky he is to have you, his little swan with him.

Got scared and want to sleep in his bed?

He will pull you beside him and let you talk to him until you go to sleep finally. He may be exhausted but he will listen to your rambles before bed like it is his morning news.

Rating: ∞/10. No questions, comments, or concerns here.

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snickerdoodlles · 2 years

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im telling myself no new fics until i finish some of the wips burning a hole in my drive folders, but i can’t get this kinnporsche kingsman AU out of my head, so sneak peek at the start of it:

“Sir.”

Kinn looks up from his morning coffee to see Big holding out an envelope. He sighs into his cup discreetly—he can tell the envelope isn’t any of the usual business, it’s too short and they don’t code anything in blue—oh, excellent, they’ve found his enigma. Kinn sets his coffee down calmly and takes the envelope with lazy grace, dignity immediately ruined when he rips the envelope in his eagerness to open it. He ignores the way Big fidgets at his shoulder and reads the citizen’s profile greedily.

Name: Porsche Pachara Kittisawasd, 43 DOB: DD-MM-1996 Status: Unmarried Dependants: One …

Kinn skims through the file quickly. There isn’t much worth reading; the file is mostly information compiled prior to V-Day. In fact, Kinn bets the only updates this file has seen in the past seven years is the list of deceased and the Number. It’s frustratingly thin—Kinn would kill for a picture of his man, even if he can acknowledge printer tech still isn’t what it used to be and Arm sadly has more important requisitions he’s still waiting for—but at least the man exists as something more than the smell of smoke and fever bright memories, now.

Kinn flips back to the first page of the file. His fingertip lingers over the man’s name—Porsche, he thinks, rolling the sounds around in his mind—before he taps the section thoughtfully. “Who’s his dependent?”

“One younger brother.”

Kinn frowns in surprise. “Age?”

“Seventeen sir.”

Huh.

He taps the file again idly as he thinks. “This is all the information you’ve found on him?”

Big hesitates, and Kinn sighs silently. He, Papa, and Vegas had worked extensively after V-Day to rebuild the city’s administration, but his quick skim through Porsche’s schooling and employment sections show the signs of someone that had fallen through the cracks of society even before everyone tried to kill each other. The number of suicides in the first few months post V-Day alone made updating the city’s census nigh impossible, nevermind the nightmare of trying to find employees to do it in the two years following the event—it’s little surprise to discover Porsche has been close to lost ever since those cracks had turned to canyons.

“Sir,” Big says, hesitant and odd. Kinn frowns up at him, and Big squirms awkwardly under the attention before he steels himself, “Arm insists you read his notes on the last page.”

Kinn’s frown deepens—since when is Arm not direct? Or Big, for that matter. Big shifts uncomfortably again, and Kinn flips back to the last page, wary.

Arm’s notes aren’t long at all. Just a small note of, has never held a license, hastily scribbled in pen and smeared sideways by highlighter.

Kinn blinks. He flips back to the first page, eyebrows rising and fingertips lingering besides Porsche’s name. “He’s never owned a car?”

“No sir, never. It’s harder to say for certain, but Arm’s equally confident the man’s never owned any sort of firearm either.”

Kinn freezes, briefly, before he breathes out slowly and looks at the file in new light. He feels Big relax in the face of his surprise, and tries to feel bad for the poor man. Big’s easy to read as ever—his concern and wariness giving way to open relief as Kinn reads through Porsche’s file with more care—but Kinn has too much heart to warn him he’s more intrigued than worried over the revelation. Let the man have a few moments of peace before Kinn continues his pursuit. Big’s certainly earned it.

Kinn flips back to the first page and stares at the first line, willing it to crack open and spill its secrets.

Porsche Pachara Kittisawasd.

43.

How very, very curious indeed.

#cookie's writing #kinnporsche #mine: kinnporsche #kinnporsche kingsman au #this isnt like. kinnporsche cast as spies btws. its kinnporsche if it were set in the kingsman universe #or rather ''what would've happened to these guys on v-day and how would they have handled the fallout''#bc i love worldbuilding and im forever fucking salty at the bullshit the series tries to claim on it lmao #not calling it a crossover bc none of the kingsman cast shows up in it ppl will be v disappointed if i do #the only one that was a spy in a suit is arm hes the only one shaped enough for it #ANYWAYS i rly love this wip jhvhjvh i wanna write it but also oh no my other wips TTwTT #help

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ariesbilly · 4 years

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JULIA’S FICS MASTERLIST

so it’s my wifes ( @fredheads ) birthday and im a flop who doesnt have her birthday fic ready (it’ll be done... before the end of the month. absolutely should not take that long but thats the only definite timeline i have lmao) SO to celebrate, i think you all should read her fics and leave nice comments because it’s what she deserves :)

MULTI CHAPTER (unfinished)

She's The One (fem!fredsythe)

Just Like Heaven (fredsythe, alice - fred escapes the Sisters au)

talk about a dream, try to make it real (fredsythe, gladys - college au)

quiet mercy (fredsythe - the OG fred & the sisters of quiet mercy fic)

Papa (fred and artie exploration)

wanna be your backdoor man (fredsythe - h*rny neighbor antics)

With a Girl Like You (fred and gladys friendship)

all our costliest treasures (baby fredsythe at christmas julia i would like to see more... its your birthday i should not be requesting things my apologies)

but your kids are gonna love it (archie and jughead - back to the future au i never saw that movie so i cant say for sure but they do time travel so that checks out to me)

Riverdale High's Last Annual Father-Daughter Winter Fling (fred takes veronica to the father/daughter dance because hiram is in jail =/ )

i say the phrases that keep it all going (different takes of fred fp archie and jughead dying in each others arms julia where is the fredsythe one... just asking)

MULTI CHAPTER (finished [according to ao3])

wouldn't it be good (ensemble - everyones paired up and has to raise an egg)

love is like a heat wave (fredsythe summertime antics)

burnt toffee (halice - working at an icecream shop, falling in love, v cute)

if only in my dreams (penelope lies about having a boyfriend)

let nothing you dismay (alice cooper fixing christmas)

there's a blue light in my best friend's room (hal and fred bonding hour)

The Trials of Cheerleading (or, "Throwing In The Megaphone") (the parentdale bible just read it and forget anything else anyone [ras] has ever told you)

fred andrews adopts a gang (bet you cant tell what this is about)

from the rich to the poor they are mostly unkind (i think this is a sweet pea centric fic?? julia really has something for everyone but dont expect her to do this again)

fp's adventures in domesticity (fp taking care of the andrews household while fred recovers from getting blasted in the chest)

Oblivion (all the times fred has experienced god)

west of memphis (jarchie post 107 thats all i can tell you idk)

ONE SHOT

Wherever you go i'll be with you (fp and archie - a timeline after freds death)

that's as close as i'll get to loving you (fremary - fred asks mary out)

i'm only good at being bad, bad (gladys hating her deadbeat husband <3)

and all the miles in between (fp and tom on the bus to basic training)

excerpts from the same party (freds interactions...at a party... the title is pretty self explanatory but who doesnt love a party fic ammirite ladiez)

don't you know these days you pay for everything (fred, fp, mary - i remember this being fp playing wingman to get fred and mary together cuz he likes mary better than hermione.... read more to find out if im right)

tying faith between our teeth (fredsythe - au where fp goes to college and doesnt ruin his life)

and they were roommates (fredsythe - another college au)

The Construction Tree (jarchie - idk what this is about i dont read kid fics im sorry... but julias a bomb ass writer so im sure the jarchies will love it anyway)

flowers grow through cement (fred gaining weight and feeling insecure)

night creatures call and the dead start to walk in their masquerade (HALLOWEEN FREDSYTHE BABYYYY!)

get me a prescription for that one perfect touch (fredsythe sick fic)

i don't know where else i can go (more hal and fred bonding hour)

everybody's got a hungry heart (fredsythe sexy time with food... that sounds weird.... listen either youre into it or youre not)

not so typical love song (fp and mary bonding hour)

all the redemption i can offer (fremary after the shooting... im pretty sure... listen i have a bad brain i cant remember things just read it)

Simply Irresistible (fred is a ho)

took the words (right out of my mouth) (four times fred and fp say ‘i love you’)

if you wanna get it done you gotta do it yourself (fp and mary loving fred... who is a ho)

people livin' in competition (more fp/fred/mary nonsense with fp gay pining what a good triangle i would have liked to seen it...)

buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight (mary works at youth crisis hotline and fred calls in)

that's what they say when we're together (halram post high school au)

a good old fashioned romance (hiram flaunting his wealth instead of displaying emotions)

you don't know what (you) got��(fred has great friends even though hes a bit of a putz)

watch your weight (more fredsythe food shenanigans)

Valuable Lessons Learned On The Tilt-A-Whirl, or "Babe, You Ought To Quit This Scene Too" (alice hermione fred and fp go to the fair)

what once was (jughead and the andrews after freds shooting)

you must remember this (i have no recollection of what this is about but it sounds jughead centric)

takes guts to be gentle and kind (idk what this is either lmfao but i know julia saved moose and midge in it... idk midge but good for her [granted this also takes place after 202 so keep that in mind])

FP Jones and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad House Party (or, "Nothing Good Ever Happens At One Of These") (oh i remember this one.... mmmm. title tells you all really)

and so please help them with your youth ( ‘fred teaches archie to walk. archie returns the favor’)

andrews & son (more fred and archie post 201)

Blueberry Pie (fredsythe - my review of this fic is just me clutching my chest saying ‘oh god, oh fuck’)

never drill for oil on a city street (part 1 of mary working at a youth crisis hotline and fred calling in and i should put this above the other fic but like... you can figure out one and two on your own i believe in you)

The Perils of Faking Illness (or, “two times Fred Andrews faked sick to get out of class and one time he actually needed a hospital”) (read the title)

healing, in three parts (fred fp archie and jughead attempt a roadtrip)

all along the watchtower (#fredandrewsisriverdale)

guess that we were too much of the same kind (fred getting visitors in the hospital)

sometimes wonder what's beneath the mess you've become (fred and alice bonding hour)

nice day for a white wedding (fredsythe hospital times babyyyy!)

The Unexpected Perks of Feminist Activism (or, "Fingertip Rules") (fred gets fucked in a skirt by fp thats all you need to know)

Any Way You Want It (reggie x moose idk what it is but if you like them here you go)

fun, fun, fun (till her daddy takes the t-bird away) (beach antics! freds a menace but fp loves him anyway...)

hands over the ears of my heart (fred and hermione share a bed but platonically)

the apocalypse comes sooner than you think (fredsythemione antics)

small as a world and large as alone (a series of drabbles about archie jughead and fred post 104)

do a good turn daily (archie x reggie post 103)

seven minutes in heaven (archie and reggie picked for 7 minutes in heaven)

tell me every terrible thing you ever did (archie drops jughead off after the pep rally)

#READ HER WORK!#riverdale fanfiction #idk why im bothering tagging this i doubt its gonna show up anywhere thanks to tumblrs rules but whatever

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flowerpatchjin · 6 years

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Fluff w/ Yukhei

Prompt: ANON // "can i have cute domestic fluff with lucas" and "Hey do you think you could do some lucas fluff? I need that all round CUTE SHIT THANKS😂💕"

A.N. // these requests were basically the same thing so,,,here you go :))

- this boy...

- the happiest baby to ever have lived

- he just LOVES being with you, no matter what it is

- i bet hed be incredibly cheesy

- "yuk...we dont have to drive a whole hour to go on a hike"

- "but remember that one time half a year ago you mentioned you wanted to go there? im taking you"

- he takes you anywhere and everywhere, just as long as he can be with you

- this boy LOVES skinship i bet :((

- hes always holding your hand, kissing your face, rubbing your back, playing with your hair, all of it

- he L O V E S when you play with his cheeks ugh

- he likes cute petnames like sweetie, pumpkin, love, cutie, honey, but his headass would come up with crazy stuff like monkey muffin, honey badger, apple sugar squirrel, anything like that

- his favorite is monkey muffin though for some odd reason

- "hey monkey muffin, do you want to come watch this movie with me?"

- "...w-what did you just call me?"

- he loves it

- WILD thought but since yukhei stays at the dorms, i think itd be funny if he tries (keyword tries) to sneak out in the middle of the night to come see you

- but papa taeyong stops that real fast

- "lucas what the hell are you doing"

- "i-im getting water"

- "its 2 am. you are fully dressed. why do you need your shoes and coat to get water? the kitchen is LITERALLY on the other side of the hall"

- he stands there for a bit...s l o w l y backing up towards the door

- "lucas i swear to god"

- he bolts

- the next morning when he comes back, taeyongs waiting

- "if you ever do that again you wont be allowed to see chenle for a month"

- anyway back on track

- he really enjoys when you visit him at the dorms or during practice

- the members love you

- and that makes yukhei happy because HE also loves you

- when hes at your place, he likes to play board games with you or watch movies or teach you dances

- he thinks its cute when you want to learn his dances

- oooooh my god yukheis FAVORITE dates are park dates, arcade dates, pet store dates, and traveling dates

- if i dont stop now i wont ever

- so this marks the end of our lucas fluff

- thank you for coming to my ted talk

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct headcanons #nct lucas #nct yukhei #lucas #wong yukhei #lucas x reader #yukhei x reader #lucas scenarios #yukhei scenarios #lucas imagines #yukhei imagines #lucas headcanons #yukhei headcanons #lucas fluff #yukhei fluff #nct fluff

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artfuhly · 7 years

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but we all know yousef wants sana's family to really like him until the point he helps mamma bakkoush with food and all and they really get along and she suggests that he should go out with sana's dad so he would meet him (aka his future father in law because everyone already knows sana and yousef would end up together) and it starts with awkward silence until sana's dad says "so what do you plan to do with my daughter" and yousef just stops and gives him a terrified look and says nothing -1/2-

-2/2- and papa bakkoush jokes like “i hope you’re not going to hurt her like the girls you had before her” and yousef panicks like “but i didnt have any girls before sana! i always liked sana, i liked her even when i didnt know her back then, i never had any other girl, i swear im a virgin!” and just regrets everything he says and sana’s dad is like “yousef, please, we all know sana’s your one and only. now tell me, when do you plan to give us grandchildren” and yousef is like bitch what???

oMG I SWEAR IM A VIRGIN WIADJODA IM SCREAMING I CANNOT

lets be honest tho,,,,,, mamma and pappa bakkoush love yousef already bc of elias (although some bumps bc of that whole vodka incident but once elias and sana talk with their parents and confess its all good and then the whole hes not a muslim but lets forget that) and they genuinely love yousef he’s like a son to them and they know he’s a great person but yousef would be still scared they could think he wasn’t good enough for sana bc like who is??? sana is amazing and she deserves the best like even he lowkey thinks he’s not good enough??? so he tries his best to do everything right and he would have a HUGE talk with them about sana you bet his extra ass would have a whole fucking speech prepared,,,,, and everyones like,,,,, chill yousef,,,, you and sana are meant to be okay,,,,, and he will forever be scared they dont like him enough for their daughter bc she deserves the best of the best but everyone in the bakkoush family loves him so much and once yousef realises that they do love him (he already felt v loved for them before he and sana got together but that was a whole new level everything could change) he’s so happy and relieved it’s so :’)

#:')#yousana #skam #asks #headcanons

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dvddggs · 7 years

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Okay Mom I've decided to draw the mugs. Simply because this hc gives me life. However could you give me some ideas? I feel like George would have an old college mug that has like the college logo on the side. For Laf maybe something with flowers and a nice quote? And maybe for Alex one of those that says something like "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee". I don't know help.

ok so since its been awhile, here’s the mug hc for anyone who has no clue what we’re talking about!! it’s my favourite thing ever tbh, its v important to me

OK SO i feel like papa gwash’s mug is one of those ones with a photo of alex on one side that he like made in school???? and on the other side is writing that says “#1 dad” or “happy father’s day” or something like that!!! (like this maybe?)

alex’s mug is definitely super old and is something like one of those really cheesy things from a gas station where it just says his name in giant letter, you know the one???? ? (something like this or this)

aaron was the first one to get a mug!!! it was before The Mug Tradition became The Mug Tradition so it’s not super special, it was just like he was sleeping over one night and papa gwash realized “o shit!!! we only have two mugs!! how is aaron gonna have hot chocolate?????” so he ran out to the store and found like a rly cheesy virginia mug like this (because it was the most colourful one he could find and also bc gwash was fresh from his military days so he took this opportunity to teach the bois about the civil war)

john was the next one to get a mug (not like in ttfou 21, he doesn’t get his Official Mug till later) but when he realizes he has his own mug on the shelf beside gwash’s, alex’s, and aaron’s, he feels so!! special!! its a super cheesy one like this because gwash needs john to know how much he’s appreciated (OR IF U WANNA GET SUPER EMO, ITS SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND ALEX GETS ALL JEALOUS LOL)

also bonus: when alex and john get married in the future, they decide to tell papa gwash by buying him this (bc alex is bi, but john is gay so its like bam guess what im gonna acTUALLY BE UR SON NOW) and papa gwash cries. this is his new mug and no one is allowed to touch it. he uses it every day

laf’s the next mug boi!!!!! he spends a summer with alex and papa gwash and one morning he wakes up to find his own mug up on the shelf next to john’s (because he kept stealing papa gwash’s mug for his morning coffee and that just could not happen anymore) and its something like this (or its a paris mug and laf gets rly salty bc HES NOT FROM PARIS lol) but ya laf gets all emo because he misses home so much!!!! but he loves his friends SO MUCH TOO

HERC OHHHHH BOYO herc has to wait a long time for his mug because he doesn’t spend that much time at alex’s house and because papa gwash doesn’t know him that well bc herc is scared of him. during the summer he spends at alex’s house, he’s too much of an anxious bean to ask for coffee so he just pretends he doesn’t drink it. one morning before he’s up, papa gwash and alex are talking and alex makes a joke about how herc’s been caffeine deprived all summer. papa gwash is like !!!!! whHAt>????? ? ALEX? // >??? ??? WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME?? ?? / and gets all flustered and dad and feels RLY BAD!!!!! so he runs out to the store right!! away!!!! to get herc a mug, but something like this is all he can find so he feels rly bad because he thinks its dumb????? but when herc gets up and sees papa gwash rinsing a new mug out in the sink, leMME TELL U HE ALMOST STARTS TO CRY BECAUSE HE’S SO HAPPY. he sits with papa gwash over his first coffee of the summer and they chat easily for a few hours. after that, herc isn’t scared of him anymore bc he realized omg!!! alex was right, he isnt scary at all!!1!!!!!

papa gwash doesn’t even realize The Mug Tradition is even a thing?? but the bois keep track of it rly well and they all celebrate when herc finally gets His Mug bc they’ve been placing bets on when it would be!!! they are ss so ha pPy such happy bois in their happy mug life aaahhgfdjslk do U aaLLL SEE WY this is my favourite thing

yaA i put a lot of thought into this bY E

#ttfou #ttfou headcanons #the mug hc #a new tag for my favourite ting #thing*

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bushleaguefpl-blog · 6 years

Text

STRIKE MALFUNCTION

Defenders and Mids dominate the opening round of the Bush. GW1 in the Bush

Not a striker to be seen with double digits, a MASSIVE 9 defenders had that pleasure along with 6 mids. Some banging potentials for investment are on the cards with Wan Bissaka suuurely at the top of the list (4mil for 12 points, value, value, value). Mane and Pereyra shared equal top scorer this week both with outrageous performances. 34 bonus points between defenders is absolutely insane. If this new age beast mode defender of the EPL doesn’t get you stiffer than Rowan at a Wiggles concert, then I don’t know what will.

The ache of the past couple months has subsided and the EPL/The Bush, is back. With some tasty fixtures on the cards the hypothetical swordplay of dicks between the lads had been at an all-time high. Anticipation for what’s to come with the newbies, what’s to come from the big men and can the reigning champion despite media attention lead his lil boat of fags the ESKITITTTT’s (you bastard if you bless us by reading this) back up his form? We’re back boys.

It’d be rude not to mention Brody’s first decent week since Bush 2. I know what you’re thinking, here comes the biased, self-applauded writing about one of the “admins”, Absolutely not. Brody welcomed himself back to the ‘Pink Socks’ with that goddamn song and the boys from the McIndoe clan summed it up perfectly with “Fuck up” and “Just sick of seeing this shit”. Despite the song, Brody started the season well with a massive 83 points to make the Socks the Bush TOTW. With a comfortable 15 (Mendy) points on the bench, a huge pre-season of meticulous research seems to have done the trick in a clean slate for Brody. If anyone actually read that song – what stuck out to me is ‘WHAT IS PINK SHALL NEVER DIE’, any Game of Thrones fans think that sounds similar? It is, it’s clearly related to the Ironborn motto ‘WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE’. These people are led by a man who got his meat sword chopped and his lesbian sister. The whole think reeks Felgate. Next week – Can Logan stop Brody from ‘forcing’ him to read his songs? The ‘I Should be at least a champ’ vs the certified Champ Champ. Both started with a win, place your bets. Logan paying $1.01 to not read this at all in a special.

Now to our dud of the week, everyone’s favourite choking hazard, Blake Hands. The man basically gave a win to debutant James ‘City has legends’ McIndoe in what is an absolute shocking effort. If Ederson didn’t play as well as he did, A MERE 15 POINTS would have been his score. Blake captained De Brunye, which was risky to start with, though NO SALAH? NO SALAH MO PROBLEMS. Liverpool supporter, who gets… SHAQIRI OVER SALAH. I’m lost for words. Nothing went well for TDC this week, but he defended himself with the classic “it’s a marathon not a sprint”, truth. Macca didn’t have a massive week; a win is a win and next week he has his chance to prove himself a contender against fellow newbie Morgan. Trash talk expected, posting a gif of City winning the title expected, will he come up with any proper banter?

Headline fixture of the week has to be one of the fiercest rivalries in the Bush – The Kennedy Brodown. RK v HK, always a tight contest. HKendon took out the win 78-70. The difference this week? Reid’s absolute Judas-bullet to the foot of a decision to have his first sub as Trippier (0) instead of round 1 superman Wan-Bissaka (12). Poor Wan-Bissaka was left out in the cold much like his manager who also suffered the cold shoulder (quite literally) breaking it in real life whilst snowboarding solo. Humorous? Yes, quite funny – also the bone he broke. Nah it is snow joke, get well soon Reidy and the Bush is hoping for a swift recovery. “Spitting chips” – Reid Kennedy. The Dons found form of old and are hoping to put their DISGUSTIN’ last campaign behind them.

Recently off the chain manager Kirby gave ex housemate (too soon?) Max ‘Emry out’ Haggarty more frustration with his bench than Arsenal gave him with their bench. Losing by what he claims as “35 players not playing and their* bench kills it”. It could be just be the fact that the Cheese and Lacas captained one of the most overrated players who was never going to play a full game let alone score points. Rashford was a myth, fittingly disappearing for his manager in a time of need. That and the fact that a star-studded midfield scored 4 points between 4 could definitely have been a factor in the disappointing start for the Lacas. Who knows, Kirby could get lucky af like he did last season and get 10 wins in a row – that is until he disappeared and didn’t blame his password, just his missus. The real lesson is here gentlemen, always blame your missus.

Another two teams at the top of the ranks this round were former rookies Mitch ‘Wombae’ and Alex ‘Do I make you Horney’ Horne. Both teams respectively scored 80 points which would tickle the dick of any manager. The Wombats midfield was absolutely terrifying for former Romeybears manager Jerome, scoring a fucked 46 points from 3 people (wowser). Horney’s Heroes gave rallied around the strongest captain of the week Mane, 36 points alone. Mitch takes on Rowan next week whilst Alex takes on the newest self-proclaimed hot shot Madde ‘Prostate Tickler’ Bowshire.

“Sneed’s are a joke”, “Cunt, those Sneeds” “It’s a bloody upset” – just a few of the quotes from around the Bush this week leading up to Rowan ‘get back in the womb’ Flanagan. One man had a little something else to say – “It’s a new season bruv im finishing top 3, this ain’t an upset it’s the new normal”. Madde took out a huge start to his fourth Bush season with a DOMINANT display over Rowan’s Doumbia’s. His first error was picking 3 Tottenham players, his second was captaining someone versing a punishing Liverpool. Sneeds on the other hand, magic in all aspects in his 76-49 win. 35 points in his defence, you shall not pass. Rowan has already lost his password this preseason, how many losses will it take for him to lose it again?

Honourable mention to our high scorers who didn’t make top 3 this week, Chris Michaels and Papa Geo, both scoring 75+. Unlucky for the Tigs not to get a win, the Bush is a harsh mistress and she needs patience. Papa gave Riley ‘regular Bine enthusiast’ Guest the true reality of this, spanking him by 40 points.

That’s all we’ve got time for about the key moments fellow managers, we hope you’ve enjoyed a read and had a giggle but before we sign off, some info about the Manager of the Month voting change this season…

Here at the Bush Fantasy League we value consistent, non-biased results. Last season there were many amazing Manager of the Month awards though we had massive complaints/feedback about the legitimacy of our nomination process. To honour the wishes of the majority of managers, we’d like to introduce our new system, which evaluates our players in a VIP type like process. Each week you’ll receive a tally, which in turn will total to a monthly score. Top scorer of the week will get 3, second will get 2 and third will get 1 (tied points count). Thank you for your cooperation and as always, stay classy, Bush League.

3 points – Brody with 83 points.

2 points – Alex and Mitch on 80 points.

1 point – Harry on 78 points.

#BushLeague18/19 #BushTimesArticles

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