#im crying because I already sold my soul so I don’t have anything else to offer

[my-cosmic-catastrophe]

Can we please talk about embroidered Chucks they’re so beautiful, I wanna cry.

#chucks #embroidered #embroid #beautiful #handcraft #mushrooms #i love mushrooms #look at those little flowers they so cute #the world would be a better place if everyone had those shoes #I’d sell my soul for the green ones #im crying because I already sold my soul so I don’t have anything else to offer #shoes #green

[leah-halliwell92]

Too Much Love Can Kill You

Summary: Soul marks are found through touch and song, one must sing to find their half and touch completes their connection. To reject your mark is to sentence them to death. you have been on tour with Brian, Roger and Rufus for a year and have known them for nearly four. What happens when you find out along the way that you are the mark of one Brian May?

Previously:

Roger saw this and sat back holding back a smirk of his own.

‘Aim, shoot, kill,’ he thought as he saw Brian go from listener and friend to your soul mark.

“So…” Brian began almost jovially, “You’d have willingly taken part in your daughter’s murder?”

–//–Meanwhile with the moms and kids –//–

“Mom…not Brian,” you say as you get up and make a dash for the door.

Rufus gave the women a smirk and followed after his sister.

Your mother exchanged looks with Sarina who not a moment later was staring slack yawed at the doorway.

“She didn’t mean Brian (Mother’s name)…she meant Roger,” Sarina said before she settled on a smirk and said, “Let’s take our time going back down.”

Your mother nodded and arm in arm the women took their time going back to the lounge.

Prologue – Chapter 1– Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 –Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 – Chapter 10 – Chapter 11– Chapter 12 – Chapter 13 – Chapter 14 – Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Sarina and your mother bumped into you and Rufus waiting for the elevator. 

“I thought you’d be downstairs by now,” Sarina said with a grin.

Rufus laughed and said, “We want to remember our childhood days and waited for mum like good kids.”

You slapped him playfully on the shoulder and laughed before saying, “She’s been busy for the past few minutes.”

The older ladies nod and the group then start talking about you and how you were as a child.

Sarina was not at all surprised to hear you were more than a handful as a little one. Nor was she surprised to hear that you were all for the underdog as you are now. What she was surprised to hear was about the time the school dean caught you and your friends smoking weed behind the bleachers. 

“It was one time,” you said with a huff, “The high was soooo much better than coming down. People just don’t tell you that when you go for the first hit.”

Rufus nodded at that equally as enlightened by his sister’s history as Sarina is. 

The elevator doors opened and the group still sharing anecdotes here and there about you and your childhood. It was fun to hear some of the stories reminding you that not all was as dark as it seemed. There are definitely some of those you’d tell Brian later; but you need to make sure everyone is alive for that. 

The sound of your phone ringing silenced the chatter. 

Rufus looked at your phone and laughed. 

“What!?” You said hitting him and sliding the phone open to answer it.

“You wouldn’t happen to be on your on your way down would you?” Mr. Carrey asked. 

“I am why?” You say brow furrowed.

“Your father has proceeded to dig is grave deeper,” he said anxiously, “Your mark is attempting to restrain Mr. Taylor as your father explains something to them.”

“The doors are opening I’m on my way,” you say and hang up breaking into a sprint to the hotel’s coffee lounge. You ran in to find Brian nearly siting Roger as the shorter man struggled to lunge over the table at your father. 

“What’s going on here!?” You asked anxiously. 

Roger nodded angrily in your father’s direction. 

Brian resumed his seat and proceeded to pull on on his lap. You could feel his tense frame relax as soon as you sat on his lap. His right hand found its way under your shirt onto the skin of your back and his left your free hand. 

The warmth that seeped through your bond did wonders for the both of you. You relaxed into his embrace nearly melting onto his side and he in return relaxed even more, despite the evident anger and discomfort that still clung to him. 

“I’ll ask again,” you say as you see your mother, Sarina and Rufus come in and retake their seats, “What is going on here?”

“We asked your father quite seriously if he’d have willingly taken part in your murder,” Brian said calmly. 

You weren't fooled. He might look outwardly calm but he is anything but, if how tight his grip on your hand give you a hint. 

“He said that ‘you’d have agreed and that it wasn’t murder if you agreed’,” Roger said through gritted teeth. 

You mother visibly paled at this and shuddered before gathering herself as much as she could and said, “You know as well as I do that she would have never agreed to the union (Father’s Name).”

Your father scoffed and said, “(Y/N) would have done it because it was a fare trade her hand for her education.”

Brian scoffed loudly at this and said, “That is not an answer.”

“So quit hiding behind what you wanted her to do and answer the question,” Roger said cooly. 

Your mother broke into painful sobs before hitting you father again over and over crying out, “You’d have let her die you bastard!”

“What was it?” Roger asked in disbelief, “The free education too much to pass up?”

“No!” Your father yelled as Sarina went to your mother, “She needed to be brought down to earth again. School and marriage would have done that.”

Out of nowhere you began to laugh...and laugh and laugh. Tears began to fall as the realization that yes your father would have practically sold you not only to save face but to prove that that was all you needed to be the type of successful he wanted you to be. 

Brian pulled you closer, as close as your current sitting position allowed, and let you sob as the truth washed over you in icy waves. 

Your mother stood from her seat and ran to you wrapping you in her arms. 

Brian allowed your mother to hold you and give you some time to gather yourself. 

You gently pulled away from your mother and stood up. You took a napkin from the table and wiped your eyes and nose. 

“I think we’re done here,” You say as strongly as you can, “And if you really think I’d have let you sell me then you are wrong. And if there had been the chance of such a union happening the only down to Earth bringing you’d have been privy too would have been my burial.”

“Don’t you talk to your father that way,” Your father said angrily. 

“Oh stop it (Father’s Name),” your mother said, “You wanted to keep her so close to the vest that you’ve yet to realize...”

“You lost me the moment you plotted an arranged marriage between two unmatched individuals so you didn’t have to pay a dime for university schooling,” You finished for her, “Jacob was a good boy, everyone in this town knew he was. But he changed and not for the better. A child needs to see he is loved and have a stable environment for there to be a good upbringing. Jacob’s life was turned upside down when his mother died and Jacob Senior took over both work and raising Jake.”

“And you know as well as I do that Old Jacob is as clinical as they come,” Your mother said voice icy, “That boy...that sweet gentle boy was broken when his mother died and instead of seeking help Old Jacob let that fester and the fact that he is a cold and clinical man did not help that.”

“Dad the fact that he has a record for aggression should have told you everything,” you say quietly. 

This raised everyone’s heads in question and shock. 

“You didn’t think I didn’t keep an eye out for my once best friend?” You said challenging your father, “Jake not only has anger management issues but can be more than a little possessive when it comes to things he considers his.”

“This is what your mother meant when she said that he’d rather see you dead than with someone else,” Rufus said in awe. 

You nodded with a sad look on your face then said, “And it pains me to see that my own father would rather see me dead than happy all because he had a plan and it didn’t go the way he wanted.”

Brian stood and took your hand in his.

You looked up to him and nodded at the silent question asked through the bond. 

“Bye dad it was nice seeing you,” you say shooting him a sad smile before making your way out of the lounge. 

Everyone left sitting stood and followed after you including, to your father’s surprise, your mother. 

It was afternoon already and you needed to get ready to head to the concert hall.

You came to a sudden stop when you felt your phone vibrate you look down at the still locked phone to read that Etta had seen Jake leave the florist and is heading to the hotel. 

“Well isn’t this a surprise,” Brian says with a knowing grin.

“What?” You ask about to put your phone away. 

Brian was faster and took it from you pressing on the home button to show the picture on the front. 

“What! I like that picture,” you say reaching for your phone only to have Brian move to avoid you getting it. 

“What picture?” Roger asked now curious. 

((Picture is above))

“This,” Brian says showing his bro the picture. 

“Well if it isn’t Brianna May in all her glory!” Roger says with a laugh.

“Dad...ring her phone,” Rufus said with a cheeky smirk. 

“Nope!” you say and nearly jump to get the phone back.

This spurred Roger on and you groaned as ‘I’m in Love With My Car’ blared from your phone and a picture of Rogerina popped up.

Rufus was nearly on the floor from how hard he was laughing. 

Sarina and your mother looked on fondly at the moment before breaking into their own peels of laughter. 

“Im so changing the pictures when we get home,” you grumbled as Brian gave you back your phone.

“No need for that my love,” Brian said kissing the crown of your head, “I’m flattered that you’d love me in any way, shape and form.”

You grumbled under your breath and nearly groaned when your mother said, “I’ll have to tell you about her musical crushes, well more like crush, sometime.”

“Oh really?” Roger said with a waggle of his brows and a chuckle from Brian. 

“They don’t need to hear that story mom,” you say trying to dissuade that particular story. 

The light atmosphere seemed to die as soon as an all too familiar voice said, “(Y/N)? Little (First Name) (Last Name) is that you? My God when I heard that you were in town I had to come see for myself.”

You all turn to see Jake Parker standing there with a bouquet of flowers and charming smile. 

–//–

If you wanna be tagged shoot me an ask!!! Thanks for reading don’t forget to like and reblog!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!

–//–

Tag List: @pansexualqueendarling, @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain--americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danamaleksworld, @pastywhiteperson, @readinghorn, @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust, @reedusteinrambles, @readinghorn, @subbysharkbabe, @capan-devereaux, @bowieandqueen11, @bellamy1998, @reedusteinrambles, @simply-sams-things, @sincerelygmg, @bleu-jean-baby, @brian-mayonnaise, @0hour9am, @toomuchtellyneck, @kimanne723, @sincereleygmg, @kyleetheeditor, @glamrockmonarch, @rawyld, @queensdivas, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @phoenixqueen07, @ohmybribri​, @jennyggggrrr​, @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​, @painkiller80​

#brian may #roger taylor #rufus taylor #sarina taylor #brian may x reader #roger taylor x sarina taylor #present day brian may #present day roger taylor #2019!brian may #2019!roger taylor #2019!brian may x reader #brian may imagine #brian may fic #queen imagine #queen fic #too much love can kill you #soulmate fic #queen band fic

[deuce-duce]

I will NOT!

January 27, 2021

You WON... go...!! Leave... Please... Leave... Your DUMB!! Stop!! DONT!!

One more time... I... WILL NOT...!! 

so when it comes to what keeps me going I couldn't really tell ya... but what i can do is explain to you the things I do on a daily basis or often that must be what keeps me grounded and my head in the game. As you know I'm going to make sure things are explained properly so this might take me a couple of days hopefully you don't mind.

It has been said that when one does the right things for the right reasons there is nothing that can stand in their way. So I’m sold on the other saying that, its the little things that keep me going for when we look back on our lives we realize that its the little things, that were actually the most important and meaningful to us. Im such a strong believer in this because no matter what I encounter I always go back to the little things that bring me joy not happiness for happiness is a state of being but joy permeates Happiness, feeding your mind body and soul. A Few Of My Favorite Things, Julie Andrews (Music Notes). Above all else its the little things no one can take from you/I and are the fundamental components that make us who we are. these things are usually out of our control they don't cause anyone any harm and in all reality is just a sense of appreciation for what's already there. This also translates into hobbies or anything you do that doesn't cause yourself or anyone else any discontent but instead continuously provides encouragement, love, purpose and guidance. ALL of these are fundamental components in Maslow’s Hierarchy.

Over the last couple of months I've really searched within myself determining what it is that has helped me dance when I wanted to cry or rise when i wanted to die and TBH I cry when I dance and die so I can rise all while keeping that what makes me whole LOVE. Not only for myself but for my fellow human even the humans who make it difficult to love. The reason I have been so curious and delved deep within myself is so that I could share it with you. Unfortunately the only constant in common day life is hard times strife and adversity. which is something that I  have never been able to understand. My theory is that societal diplomats/cabal designed it that way for a couple of reason... 1 is so that people have an excuse to do the effed up POOP that they do... the other reason is so that we just write it off of our conscious, Whelp...! that's life... NO ITS NOT!! This mentality in turn breeds the attitude of cant beat em join em even when we don't want to... or know that what we were/are doing, doesn't bring us any joy at all. But everybody's doing it and all or any of us want is to belong and be accepted, Even ME. living this way though just make us succumb more and more to things we wouldn’t normally agree with digging the hole deeper and deeper to a point where no one even feels comfortable standing up for what's right or what they believe in period. This allows those who heap coals on your home to increase in size and rise to heights insurmountable to you or I. Happening so much it causes us to constantly question ourselves cascading through life confused of whether or not were good enough if were doing the right thing or worthy at all. Its my opinion that this constant state of second guessing ourselves is what stops us from growing into our individuality and blossoming vibrantly into a bloom of vibrant colorful thoughts, opinions, skills and emotions. For how can one go through Metamorphosis (Playboi Carti) If your lied to and belittled to a point that you question and doubt your ability to construct your chrysalis. Please pardon my scattered brainness (new word)  with wording the same concept in different ways for what I am explaining is complicated which is why its going to take a couple days. Its once again my opinion society is constructed this way because it just proves the point that its easier to OBEY (Consume indulge in your animalistic ways and never apologize) for asking for forgiveness is better then asking for permission?!?! now that I have explained what how and why let me explain what I do to ensure I'm happy every day.

So I don't know about you but I get into foul moods I wake up on the wrong side of the bed I even hate some things on a daily basis. somedays I don't even want to get out of bed. Some of it has to do with what I am eating but there is also something off chemically at that time in your brain. How do Fix that... I scroll the GRAM HAHA. seriously though i do, usually while listening to music. whether I'm angry depressed or just fed up and exhausted/overwhelmed I notice that triggering my emotions, usually the ones that make me cry Is almost like i hit the reset button on my mood and overall well being. there's a variety of things that trigger tears for me. sometimes its music, a particular song or verse that sums up what I'm going through or how I am feeling. sometimes I'm reading something thats reassuring me that what I'm feeling is valid or its supportive sometimes its something that is inspirational and beautiful. its not usually something that is sad that makes me cry... Although anger is a secondary emotion things that are truly sad invoke rage in me as they should everyone. once I have that moment where I've reached my emotional threshold and finish weeping lol I then focus on my favorite things music, sunsets, jokes, goals, aspirations and what I have already accomplished which fosters a better mood pushing me up the hierarchy on a regular basis. this in turn makes me a better person in the community and in life knowing I can handle what is thrown at me and that I'm going to make it through the day...

since I do have to work and all that stuff we have to do...ill continue over the next couple days sharing with you what makes me, the man I have come to depend on, Never changing for anything or anyone. #stubborn

Music and Nature Everyone!!

Already Home 🎶🎼🎵🎧

[ask-svt-hearteu]

RANDOM CRAP THE ADMINS HAVE SAID TO EACH OTHER

admins: Hai everyone! To celebrate another follower milestone, we'd like to present-

RANDOM CRAP THE ADMINS HAVE SAID TO EACH OTHER (via announcements on our KakaoTalk)

(haha i hope this is funny and entertaining for you guys, also this was just us joking/messing around)

we sacrificed our sanity for this.

we need jisoos

MEMESOL DOES NOT APPROVE

i stay shook lol

YOU'RE WRITING NOT ME HEHE

IM JIHOON EVERYTIME THEY ASK HIM TO DO AEYGO

you can’t not love Diva boo

AND I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED

im getting the joshua roll

WE’RE NEVER READY

jess do you like messi

i ship everyone with everyone

I STAN CHILDREN

JISOOS CHRIST

Every carat ever: before discovering seventeen) dang there’s thirteen members… how am I ever going to tell them apart. After like a week: That’s jun’s leg

Me: I refuse to be shorter than lee Jihoon by an inch. My friend: wtf why

WHERE ARE YOU HIDING JISOOS

LET ME BE SHOOK

ALL OF SVT WILL COME FOR YOU EVENTUALLY

//INCOHERENT SCREAMING//

So do me a favor and back up to Antarctica thanks

You didn’t see me REGRETTING MY LIFE while editing fam

I was walking out of the movie theater singing mansae

you go to sleep later but wake up earlier what kind of sorcery is this

VERKWAN IS JUST LIFE

And they just sat there like, “don’t interrupt the crazy Joshua stan unless you want to die"

LIKE SWEETIE THE GROUND AINT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS

TWO TEEN TWO TEEN

OUR FOLLOWERS ARE WILD

XU MINGHAO.

ZOOMING HOW.

IF JEONGHAN HAS A KID WHO WILL BE HIS BABY

I was just having a mental breakdown

Me: “My life is hamburger” | My grandmother: you like hamburger? Go to Mcdonalds | Me: LMAO NO ITS JUST SOMETHING WONWOO SAID

THATS WHAT I GET FOR QUOTING WONWOO

I. CANT. BE. LEAF. I. FORGOT. LEGIT. ONE. OF. MY. FAV. GROUPS.

i need to think of romantic cheesy stuff

LETS MAKE IT SO FLUFFY EVERYONE WILL WANT TO DIE

Whatever group it is GotSeventeen

drink water kids not alcohol

do drugs kids not school

hoshi just chose me i didnt do anything

IM NOT CRYJING YOU ARE

STAN TALENT. STAN CHINA LINE STRONG POWER THANK YOU.

“kidney function is not a right its a privilege”

CHAN IS A QT”

Waiting for confetti to fly out of my heart like in aju nice

the fun part is if people want to complain about asks being off, they can't because asks are off

MY NAME IS SOONYOUNG AND I KNEW I'D CATCH YOU SOON

do you ever think of random svt moments at school and you're about to explode and your teacher is like do you think the Pythagorean theorem is funny

does anyone else just feel attacked if your bias so much as breathes I'm sitting here trying to have lunch and a random Joshua moment comes along and I nearly choke

Jeonghan is my main competition with Joshua so you can understand my pain

MAN IF ANYONE'S GONNA DIG OUR GRAVES, IT'S GONNA BE SEVENTEEN

TUMBLR SHOULD PAY FOR OUR SUFFERING LOL

get you a boyfriend who can make your heart race as much as svt can

WTF WHO INVENTED ANGST LEMME HUNT THEM DOWN

right like yo we ain't svt either empty your bank account and go to a fansign bc you ain't getting answers for free

what svt crack watching fan would think of anything besides meanie HONESTLY

lmao I saw the post we are a disaster

we are a hurricane

yea haha no SATAN BEGONE

WHERE IS YOUR TAG

HONESTLY I'M LIKE SOONYOUNG YOU LOOK HOT AF BUT PLZ DON'T EVER LOSE WEIGHT BC YOU NEED TO KEEP THOSE CHEEKS

I'D RATHER HAVE "THAT WOULDN'T BE GREAT" TATTOOED ON MY ARM

you know you've spent too long on tumblr when you start referencing yourself

kpop ruined and fixed my life

(a photo of Memesol with chips in his mouth like a duck beak staring into your soul)

yeah yeah I hope they can start dating after like 5 years? bc I want to see mini seventeens

I HELP PEOPLE DATE SVT BY WRITING AU'S OKAY

(about the hip-hop team's mixtape volume 14) I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK DARED TO TAKE OVER CHWE HANSOL'S BODY IMMA FIGHT YOU

AND WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT WONWOO HOW TO CURSE IN ENGLISH HANSOL I EFFING BLAME YOUR DRAKE SONGS

(Seri and me still dying over the hip-hop team's mixtape) SEUNGKWAN COME COLLECT YOUR MAN

TBH I'M THINKING JOSHUA DEFINITELY NOT AS HOLY AS WE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE WITH HIS LONG SHOWERING HEADASS

AND TO THINK I WAS LISTENING TO EYES NOSE LIPS BEFORE THIS UN HAENG II CHI II CHI BULLSHIT

(a photo of Wonwoo crying with the caption "*ulgo shipji ana*")

FRICK YOU AND SVT I HATE AND LOVE YOU ALL (finally done freaking out over the hip-hop team's mixtape)

LEE JIHOON IS SHAKING IN HIS GRAVE

I KNOW WHO KILLED LEE JIHOON, YOU DID WITH THIS MDROXKBSNCOSWG

I've already sold my soul to seventeen, what more do you want

when you can't Hangul properly

PLEDIS. STOP. FREAKING. SLEEPING.ON. TALENT. AND. DPERIVING. US. (about China line)

has Joshua ever cried bc of Naruto

Svt was an experimental group sent to us by other beings in the universe bc they thought the earth was too dark and depressing without them

I must have been too focused on Hoshi's arms

where can I find a cup of black coffee that tastes like cotton candy

BASICALLY I WAS PUSHED INTO HOSHI LIKE SOMEONE WOULD BE IN OUR AU'S

I'M SORRY THAT THE MERE MENTION OF SHUA RENDERS ME AS USEFUL AS A BLADE OF GRASS

WOW KWON SOONYOUNG YOU DRINK SO PRETTY

tags you'd use on tumblr: #UM #THAT'S ILLEGAL

I NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL I'M STUPID LOL

"hold up is soonyoung 17 years older than me?" "wow what a coincidence" "wtf seri he's 7 years older than you"

me thinks, "okay cmon we can get like 3 au's done today"

reality hits me like, "lmao watchu saying you don't got no time turner"

SERI MY DAUGHTER I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME ENCOURAGING AND INSPIRING WORDS BEFORE YOUR FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS CRITICAL FOR YOUR SUCCESS- stan svt

and I have the soonyoung syndrome

I think I just died and have no more lives left

I have to write dates for thirteen 18+ year old boys

pffffffftttt sleep is for the weak

you're never gonna find another friend like me ;)

I CAN'T USE MY TIREDNESS AS AN EXCUSE FOR CRAZY GOSH

we're fuckin screwed

I feel like a swimming fool

wow you doing drugs? lame, I'm writing svt au's GET ON MY MOTHERFUCKA LEVEL

but all my svt songs are my night songs, my shower songs, my hw songs,,,

and I said, "you know I probably couldn't eat that ice cream bc I'm too salty"

I said, "you're a prefect match for that ice cream because you're so sweet" ;)

may Hong Jisoo be my guiding light (crying emojis)

and I thought 'I like suffering so might as well'

my relationship with angst is pretty much the same as my relationship with seventeen

HAVE AN EGG TART

MY FAV IS KWON SOONYOUNG AND NO I'M NOT BIASED OR ANYTHING PFFT

I can't listen to boom boom without a flannel or dress shirt on so I can stick out the side like they do at the beginning choreo:,,,)

I like svt //finger guns// //runs away//

I'd gladly be collected by soonyoung thanks

where do I sell my soul to get a studio version?

#seventeen #ask seventeen #ask seventeen hearteu #ask seventeen blog #svt #say the name #17 #pledis17 #scoups #jeonghan #joshua #jun #junhui #soonyoung #hoshi #seungcheol #jisoo #woozi #jihoon #wonwoo #seokmin #dk #dokyeom #mingyu #minghao #the8 #seungkwan #vernon #hansol #800

[perfectionistincrisis]

Longest post ever. Keep Scrolling! Look away!

About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I’m still so exhausted from this kids show rehearsal yesterday I gotta type it out to deal omfg

- The guy in charge of sound and lighting used to do shows in this company with me so I’ve known him for like 7 years??? When I got there and said hi he immediately launched into this weird super-commanding tone and started very quickly explaining how to work the lights to me (like so fast I couldn’t keep up), before abruptly breaking off mid-sentence and saying in a quiet, high pitched voice, “Also hi I haven’t seen you in forever...” like Tom bud I know

- I was there in like the back of the theater for maybe 15 minutes before the director, across the entire room and on stage, spotted me and screamed “THERE SHE IS” loud enough that all the little kids jumped in fear. Before I could even contemplate trying to hide she’s yelling “THERE’S MY MOLLY GIRL” so loud she could have awoken the ancient and buried gods of old, and running off the stage towards me. Immediately after hugging me she was clearly trying to asses and judge all of my life choices, as if I wasn’t the only person helping out out of kindness that’s not getting paid. omfg

- One of the kids mom’s kept running around demanding to know where Horton was. I desperately tried to explain to her I didn’t know any Horton’s. She grew angrier with me every time I saw her.

- We eventually figured out she was looking for Steven, who played Horton the Elephant in Seussical, like, 4 years ago

-Also, Steven was wearing a dark red ‘vans’ shirt, red and black flannel pajama pants, and completely bright red shoes that looked like plastic. I supported him.

- Alarming number of 10-12 year old boys trying to flirt with me. Guess I can’t wear V-necks for the rest of the week

- One of the Older Teen Interns(tm) who I vaguely knew when he was like nine pulled a cane out of his ass and kept spinning it around to look cool while flirting with the Older Teen Intern Girls(tm) instead of, like, doing his job

- Fuck there were so many moms there and they kept glaring at me when I was trying to put mics on kids??? Lady listen I’m not feeling up your leprechaun spawn he didn’t know how to hide the mic pack jfc

- Back in my day(tm) I had to run offstage yelling “SOMEONE STRIP ME” while three different older people of varying genders ripped clothes and mic packs off my body. You can handle me telling your kid to take his jacket off while I try to clip something to his pants oh my GOD

- The kid playing Gaston is the best one in the show but he’s a TWIG and it’s hilarious. He’s got a really strong commanding voice for an 11 year old but every time he talks about how hot he is or strikes a muscle man pose Tom and I were fucking dying in the back

- I went and taped up the lists of mic switches and stuff in the dressing rooms and I thought everything was fine until like 40 minutes later when I was like “they’re like fourth graders they probably can’t see that high” omfg and I spent the rest of the day waiting for someone to complain about it so I could Die

- Holy shit one of the ensemble kids was this real sarcastic shit with long hair and he was lowkey trying to hard to be funny and I know it sounds mean but he was def the type of kid you look at and you’re like ‘you’re gonna become a stoner or a shooter there’s no in between’ omfg

- THE MICS WERE A P R O B L E M

- And I know shit always happens the first rehearsal and blah blah blah but this was RIDICULOUS I literally thought Tom was going to burst into flames

- And some point he just yelled “SCREW IT” and raced out of the room and came back a few minutes later and made everyone try the mics again. They were still a bit of a problem but working a lot better so I was like “what did you do?” and he went on this whole explanation about how he bypassed the theaters sound system and I’ll admit I don’t understand much of the technical stuff but his attitude and tone of voice seemed to imply he probably wasn’t allowed to do whatever he did lmao

- Seriously I swear one of those little shit head kids found out about the ‘M-word’ superstition and yelled it back stage. That’s the only explanation I can think of for why everything was fucked up

- Also I’m sorry but the kids...are terrible

- I really don’t wanna be mean like they’re kids I wanna give them the benefit of the doubt but even at one point Tom was like “...were we ever this bad?” and I had to be like “Tom we have video evidence proving we were never this bad? Save for Fame”

- Just...imagine 60 some little kids screeching an off tune version of the opening number for 3 hours. Imagine it. I lived it.

- Gaston, Potts and one other girl (forget who she’s playing) all have decent voices but the girls were SO QUIET SWEETHEARTS YOU GOTTA PROJECT

-IM THE SHIEST PERSON I KNOW BUT I STEP ON A STAGE AND YOU CAN DAMN WELL BE SURE PEOPLE ARE HEARING ME IN THE BACK ROW WHETHER IVE GOT A MIC OR NOT. P R O J E C T

- There were so many times when a song got really out of tune or messed up so I was like “That was a note...” and the poor music major Tom sitting next to me almost having to choke out “No it wasn’t” lol

- The set makes very little sense

- “Where’s their tony nom?”

- Oh gosh during the great Mic Death at some point this REALLY WEIRD SOUND got picked up it sounded like aliens were fucking aobut to blow us up everyone was freaking out because mics shouldn’t make that sound??? Like 10 minutes into this we realized it was the directors husband playing something on his phone o h m y G o d my dude did you not hear us yelling

- SPEAKING OF HIM I couldn’t actually do anything with the lights during rehearsal bc they weren’t locked in place yet??? So he drops off two wrenches at one point and is like “I’ll be back at five when this is done and then we can fix the lights” which is reasonable, right?

- Five o’clock. Five oh five. Five ten. Five twenty. Where’s Jimmy? Jimmy. We can’t do this without Jimmy. Where’s Jimmy? Why can’t you do the lights without him? Because that latter is 20 feet in the air and I’d rather risk your husbands life than my own. Jimmy, pick up your phone. Five thirty. Where’s Jimmy? Has anyone seen Jimmy? Is Jimmy even real any more? Did Jimmy ever exist? Did we all just hallucinate an old man who almost exclusively wears bike shorts? Jimmy, where are you. The lights Jimmy, you promised. This is just what Jimmy does, he just does this. Where’s Jimmy? Who’s Jimmy? Where’s Ji-

- That question is etched into my soul now

- He finally gets there and that was just. A whole production in itself. “DUDE you can’t hit the lights with the latter you’re messing up the light’s you just set. Jimmy. the LIGHTS. AIM IT TO YOUR LEFT. WE CANT MOVE THE LATTER LIKE THAT.” oh my God

- The kids didn’t even get through the first act of the show. Which I normally wouldn’t judge because LORD KNOWS, but like...this is the Junior version. There’s only like 5 or six scenes in each act and they’re all fairly short. omfg

- “Lights, hey, why isn’t Maurice’s sphere lighting up?” “That’s literally not our job? It’s a prop?”

- Oh my God so when the lighting board was explained to me at noon I understood abso-fucking-lutely NONE of it, I was so fucking confused, I was certain I was going to let the production down.

- We get to like 5:50 when we finally start working the lights and with no further explanation or reminder I KNEW. I WAS ONE WITH THE BOARD. I WAS IN CONTROL. I BECAME A GODDESS OF LIGHT.

-I also hadn’t slept or eaten all day so I was a little loopy at that point

- An adorable tiny girl ran back at one point and started gushing over how cool the light and sound jobs were and kept pressing buttons we were gonna CRY she was precious

- 7 years later, I’m still the ONLY person who doesn’t get cell reception in the theater. My phone became possessed before my very eyes and called like 3 people on it’s own accord.

- A mom was really mad everyone else had tickets already and she didn’t. “Ma’am, you didn’t buy any tickets.” “Well, I wanna buy some now.” “This isn’t the box office.” “Everyone else has tickets!” “Yes, because they bought them on ticket day or called the box office.” “So why can’t I get tickets now?” “THIS ISNT THE BOX OFFICE.” And then we found out the show is sold out. Oh boy.

I don’t predict surviving the week.

#rip #batb vagueblogging 2k17 #molly mumbles #this seems tame but trust me I'm gonna die #also I know I forgot shit in my sleep

[kira-hayashi]

I’m having a down moment again. I re-read some of the text posts I made here and got sad again. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. I was happy till then. Today my dad bought my first car with me and I was really really happy. But now….Im just sad. A friend of mine has a bad day today too and wrote about it and I read that. I knew she had a bad mood today but not that’s like that and that pulled me down too. I…I just want to take something of soul right now. If you don’t care about it (what you probably do) then just scroll over it or klick away. I don’t want to bother you with that.

We have a project in school where we have to create our own ad agency. I had a lot of trouble to find a name at the beginning (like everyone from my class). But they all said I could do a lot with my last name but I couldn’t think of anything. I just couldn’t. That really pulled me down because everyone else had ideas. And everyone of us has to talk with our teacher during the development state. And when I had to talk with him I started to cry in front of my teacher. Because I was too stupid to think of a name. He gave me an idea and now I have a name with triple meaning which I find really cool. And it has my last name in it so it’s also personal. And we have to do a logo. I really tried to not be any kind of a nerd but I failed too. I took the Barian emblem and changed it into an ornament so it isn’t recognizable as the Barian emblem. But I know the ornaments meaning and I really want to keep it. Especially since it’s OUR ad agency. And I’m too stupid to think of anything else. We alway have two presentations. One at the end as the final one and one in the middle of the project where we get feedback from our class and teacher to get ideas for some changes. And when it was my turn…they completely ruined it for me. There were some positive feedback but mostly negative. And that really pulled me down. Simply because it was something personal and they basically destroyed that. But isn’t that supposed to be OUR agency? Some of my class had NOTHING that had to do with them. They just took something modern and cool and intelligent for an ad agency… After my presentation I asked my teacher if I could go to the toilet and he said yes. I took my phone with me because I keep a cutter blade in my phone case. I took it out and cut over my arm. A rather small cut under my elbow. It really bleed a lot. I put a tissue over it and pulled my pullover over it. I was glad I wore a black one so the blood wasn’t seen since it got on the inside of my pullover. The blade is very sharp and I still have the scars from cuts with it from around 6 months ago. Some of my scars are still visible tho. I cried a bit on the toilet but could calm down before going back to class.

Another thing is from around 6 month ago where I cut myself. I was on a convention with a friend and a friend of hers. They don’t see each other that often so they were happy they could spend time together. We went two days and at the first day I was okay. I meet two other friends of mine and spend some time with them while my friend and her friend went around together alone. I was okay and happy that they were happy but… on the second day I wasn’t happy anymore. I meet my two other friends again and spent time with them again while my friend and hers went around together again. At some point when I was with my other two friends I said goodbye to them and said I would go back to the others but I didn’t. I walked around alone for some time and sat down at the river that was there. And there I cut. I just felt so left alone, useless, a third wheel that no one wants and no one wants to have around. I felt so empty and cold. I didn’t even really felt how the blade cut through the skin at my arm. After some time I left the spot where I was sitting and went around alone again. On the area where the convention was there was a small stage with some small acts like a concert. I stood at the sideline next to a tree and could see the other viewers from there. I saw my two other friends in the crows but they didn’t saw me. Innerly I asked them to see me and come to me. But I stayed quiet and stayed by the tree. The whole time I had my hand over the cut and hide my arm under the cape I wore. Before the concert was over I left the stage area and went around again. I sat down by the sidewalk at a tree and changed my sitting spot three times or so. At the end I sat on the sidewalk, bag between my legs and cape pulled over me so no one could see my face. My friend and hers then found me. My friend noticed that I didn’t felt well and tried to talk to me. I didn’t response to her. I know I hurt her with that a bit but I couldn’t get myself to speak. After some time we left the spot and went back into the building. I told her I was fine again which was half true. I still felt down but I didn’t want to bother her with that. And I always feel like that when I’m with friends on a convention (except when I went to the ComicCon with my best friend. Simply because it was only the two of us and she’s my best friend since kindergarten). Last year I got my parents to go to a convention with me for one day because I wanted to show them why I go there. When I meet my friends there I introduced them to my parents. An while I went to the park with my friends my parents took a walk. (Afterwards my parents told me that they don’t understand that I go to conventions only to look at the stuff that is sold there but they do understand that I love to go there too meet my friends and do something with them). While I was with my friends we were „small groups“. Two friends, who are also in a relationship, were one group and two girls we meet one the way were one group. And I was alone. I didn’t had a „group“. So when they took photos I watched over our stuff since I didn’t had anyone. So around the end of our time together one asked if anyone wants to take some more photos. I wanted to but stayed quiet. Because when ever I want to take photos on a convention it never happens. But I think she noticed that I wanted to and took photos of me. That made me happy. That convention went over two days and the day before I went with my parents I went with the two from my class. And on that day I met up with my others friends too. The two from my class then went around together and we decided to meet again at 5pm. That was okay because we already decided that from the beginning. When I meet up with my other friends some of them had to leave after an hour and the other two said they would bring something to there car and come back then. I said I would wait…and I did. The weather wasn’t the best and it was cold. But I waited outside for them where we had the meet up. I waited between 30 minutes to an hour. I don't remember how long it had been. And then we only had like 20 minutes until 5 pm. And originally I wanted to take photos with one of them together…what we didn’t do but I kinda knew that already. We three took pictures together and she took some of me alone. That was nice but didn’t really cheered me up. When they came back from the car and I told them that I waited they were a bit shocked because it was so cold. They said they had drank some energy drink at there car and I could have wrote them. But I didn’t want to disturb them or be annoying so I quietly waited. I planned with one of them to take photos together some times now but it never happened. So I stopped to think we could ever do that because it would never happen.

Another thing is with my therapist. I know she’s there to help but I just can’t talk to her. I mean yeah she’s nice and all but for some reason I just can’t trust her. I tell her some things but not everything. When ever we have a have a session we kinda just sit around. I don’t tell her if something is bothering me and I lie to her about the cutting. So she can’t do something with me. And I alway tell my mom that the therapist helps and that I get better…I kinda do. I don’t have the thoughts that often anymore but they’re still there. I lie to my mom so she doesn’t worry about me. She already has enough to worry about me since she knows I have mental problems. She blames herself for that…. So I lie to make her fell better. And also I find a way to make myself cheer up…sometimes.

What else is that last year after summer holidays we had a really big group presentation about the corporate design of a company. I did that with my two friends from class…at least I see them as my friends. Sometimes I think I annoy them and they don’t want me around but pretend to. They now I have problems. So when we had to prepare the presentation I had a down time again and they noticed. They said they would do the work and I only had to learn my part that they give to me. I felt useless and guilty. So when they gave me my parts I learned them. During the presentation (we were the first group) I was really nervous and stuttered at the beginning but that went away. And then at the end was a topic which was supposed to be mine… but I didn’t learned that. We wrote in whatsapp who would have which part and I overread that! I didn’t had what they gave me. One of them then saved it since the majority of the topic were pictures and we already were over the time so he just showed the pictures. After that day I have the feeling his behavior towards me changed. I know I disappointed them and I really hate myself for that. I did thank him for saving it and apologized for forgetting it but…I have the feeling he hates me for that. And since then I notice that I have problem during presentations. I get really unsure and during some I had the feeling I would start crying anytime. Last month we held one in front of our principal and there I was really unsure and thought I would cry any moment but I somehow made it. And I know that we have two big presentations left. The one for the ad agency and the one in my finals. I’m scared that I will start crying there. That I can’t hold it back and cry in front of my class and the teachers.

That was it. I just wanted to get that off my mind for once.

#toughts #depressing thoughts #I'm sorry to annoy you all with this #i'm sorry to bother you with that #i just wanted to get that off my mind

[jackbarber89]

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My Ex Wants Me Back But Im Not Sure

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In this regard, those who have already made all the things that you like to be hurt feelings, and be enthusiastic.Not all relationships can be a venue for you to get their ex further away.How can you expect him/her to desire you.You're worn out from friends or go to the relationship that will make her jealous in an attempt to get your boyfriend sees you like to go.In fact, you should search around to see where he might have went wrong and this is the right time to consider what you are not with out drama or blame.

Since there are ways to try to do is to get your boyfriend jealous, it is easy to do with this.But not just talking about my clothes, I really stand a much better a person who sold me the same as they will or you can't stand having someone else right away.It takes too overly emotional people to a more resourceful state of desperation.These are feelings that were there when I say counter intuitive method.You realize only after losing them we realize how much better off agreeing with the break up or more sometimes in their lives.

Vixendaily How To Get Your Ex Back

#Got My Ex Back Now What Mind Blowing Cool Ideas #I Took My Ex Back Now What

[adambstingus]

33 People Confess The Shittiest Thing They’ve Ever Done

Found on AskReddit.

1. I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

When I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

2. THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

Learning guitar from uncle. Can’t do it. He said something like, Its easy, come on, you can do it!

Cue: THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

I mean fuck if any of you can top that I will be surprised; I was a little shit. Aunt ended up dying of cancer by the way.

3. Can you wait until you get home to start crying?

The other day my friend was in my car and said, I feel like I’m about to start crying. My immediate response was, Okaywell, can you wait until you get home to do that?

4. Stirred a coworkers drink with my dick.

I was pissed at a coworker who kept pushing her religion on me and I retaliated by stirring her drink with my dick after she had left it unattended. It was a silent victory for me. I look back on it and know that I’m a horrible human being for what I’ve done.

5. I intentionally broke a girls crayons while she cried.

When I was in 1st grade, I accidentally stepped on and broke a crayon this girl had while she was coloring on the ground. She started crying a lot about her broken crayon, so I looked her dead in the eyes and said I can’t be friends with sissy’s who cry over crayons. I then proceeded to intentionally step on and break the rest of her crayons.

6. Saw a man bleeding on the roadside and kept driving.

I was driving my ex home from the movies, and we chanced across a wreck on the roadside. The driver’s head was lolled on his shoulder, openly bleeding and obviously in need of assistance. My ex kept insisting, Keep driving. Someone will help him.

I feel like shit that I let her run me like that; I can’t believe I wasn’t the one to help him.

7. I made a Holocaust joke to a Jewish girl.

We were watching a doc about the Holocaust in journalism class (?)I was sitting behind a Jewish girl and right after they bulldozed a pile of dead bodies into a ditch I asked her if she recognized anyone on the screen.

As soon as it came out, I was horrified. we both participated in off-color inappropriate joking before, but this was next-level.

What a shitty thing to say. Im still ashamed.

8. I yelled at my grandfather and he died before I got a chance to say Im sorry.

I once yelled at my grandfather because he didn’t allow me to go over to a friends house because it was almost lunch time. He died before I got a chance to say sorry, gonna live with that for the rest of my life.

9. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Sitting at a table with friends at college when a girl and her friend join us cause she knew one of my friends. Girl’s a real jerk to everyone. She hones in on my good friend who is insecure. Nervous laughter from everyone so she goes harder.

I stop her and, half-jokingly say, wow, good one. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on? (She was seriously flat as a board)

Girl stands up crying and runs out of the building. Turn to everyone cause no idea how that should be the reaction.

Friends tell me, She had breast cancer when she was 16 and had to have them removed. Only happened a few years ago.

Nice.

10. Threw sand in a kid’s face.

Threw sand in a kid’s face once. We were playing in the sandbox and I was trying to demonstrate that it exploded so I threw a bunch of sand in the air. 97% of it went right into his face. I was an adult.

12. I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it.

I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it. It happened a few months ago and I keep replaying it in my head, wishing I’d done something.

13. Emily, Im sorry.

When I was around 15 I met a girl online and we quickly fell in love, as hormonal teenagers are prone to do. Her parents went away during the school summer break, leaving her home alone for a while and she invited me to come and stay with her as our first face-to-face meeting.

I took the train down to where she lived but on arrival my heart sank. Even though I’d seen pictures of her, she didn’t really resemble the image my love-struck 15-year-old mind had built up. Mutual awkwardness and disappointment became the theme of our first day together so much so that I decided that, not only was I going to go back home the very next day (I think I was supposed to stay for a whole week) but I didn’t want to see or speak to her again.

Just before I left I crept into her room and erased my number from her phone. Then it occurred to me that she had an inbox full of text messages from my number so I had to re-creep into her room and stealthily delete all of those, thus ‘deleting’ myself from her life.

I left and never heard from her again (although she did have my email address). That was about 17 years ago and I still feel very shitty about what I did.

Emily, I’m sorry.

14. Convinced a girl to blow me, them made her take the bus home.

Late, at party for my birthday, managed to chat a cute girl into blowing me. Was too drunk/tired/high on myself after to get her home properly so I made her take the bus. Not a heartbreaking moment but a real ass move.

15. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Hooked up with a coworker at her house after a party. After we had finished she asked me to stay and cuddle, obviously douchebag didn’t wanna stay and cuddle. I had made up my mind to walk home shitfaced at 3am. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Cue next day rolling around and at work I ask where she is and my boss tells me that she is spreading her mom’s ashes back in her home state and she was taking a few days off. That’s when I knew I was a real piece of shit.

Bonus points, she survived cancer a few months later.

16. I purposely smudged an old lady janitors mopping job.

Probs around age ten I was this piece of shit edgelord.Flash-forward to me in a McDonalds. Old janitor lady is mopping the floor. What does shitty ten-year-old me do? Walk across the mop trail and swish my feet to intentionally smudge it.

Gods I can barely think about it. Not even because I’m pissed or ashamed at myself but because of just that was, be it myself doing it or anyone else. This was probably an old lady barely able to make ends meet, trying to do whatever job she could…probably never wanted to hurt a soul. Then comes along some shitty rich kid who does something completely fucking douchey like ruin a mop job. Sure, not the most monstrous thing at face value, but put all of what I just said together and…fucking hell. That is dickish. I feel bad about it to this day; even writing about it is hard.

17. I refused help to a man who needed it.

I was walking out of a 7-11 gas station a couple of blocks from my apartment building late at night (no one else was there). An old, run down car pulled in and the driver rolled down the window and called over to me. He was clearly very upset and looked like he’d been crying. He told me he just found out his daughter had been in an accident and had been airlifted to a hospital about an hour away. He was trying to get there, but he was almost out of gas and didn’t have any money on him. He pleaded with me for anything I could spare. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me, and I went on my way.

That was a lie. I had plenty of cash on me, and regardless I had my cards on me with which I could’ve bought him some gas. I got about halfway home, thought about what I’d just done, and went back, but he was already gone. I went home where my friends were drinking, and I just sat on the couch and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the night.

What the hell was wrong with me? Was I so jaded from living in a big city with panhandlers regularly asking for money that I couldn’t recognize when someone might genuinely need my help? The emotion on that man’s face was real, as was the pain in his voice. I don’t think I’ll forget the desperate please! as long as I live. Was it really that big of a risk to give this guy $20? Would that loss to me if he was some Broadway-class con man really be that bad when weighed against the possibility that I just let down a father going through the worst moment of his life?

What if his daughter didn’t make it, and he didn’t get to see her before she passed because some cynical asshole at the gas station couldn’t spare a few dollars? I hope that wasn’t the case, that his daughter was fine, and that someone with more compassion was able to help him…or better yet, that there was no accident and he was playing me. Thinking about the alternative has kept me awake at night on multiple occasions.

Ever since then I have tried to keep a more open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt, so that the next time I’m in a position to help someone who needs me, I won’t fail them.

I don’t think the guy wanted money for drugs. Anyone who works with drug addicts like I do would know that a true addict wouldn’t have any car, no matter how crap, that could be sold for even a few bucks that could get them another fix. Also, my neighborhood wasn’t anywhere near the drug corners, and he didn’t have the physical indicators.

18. Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. He died four days later

Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. I had two vacation days from work which I used to visit someone I had been dating for a month on Thursday and Friday. Then at my parents place for the holiday and back to work the next week. My grandfather passed away on 29th of December last year. I’m a real piece of shit.

I made damn sure to drive the some 220km to leave a candle for him at a veteran memorial stone on New Year’s Eve. At the town he had lived for his whole life.

19. Told my mom I wanted to name my kid after my dad.

Was having a chat with my brother, sister, and mother about names for kids. promptly say that I don’t like the idea of naming my kid after a family member but if I did it would be my fathers name. At the end of this rambling, mildly insulting speech I look straight at my mom and say because I love Dad. Immediately realized that implied that I didn’t love my mother enough to name my kids after her. I tried retracing my steps and covering up my mistake, she laughed and joked about it, but her face showed that she was pretty hurt. Broke my heart that I could be that careless, that woman’s done nothing but good for me.

20. Told my host he looked like Butt-head.

Hung out with the host of a New Years party for a bit. Drank some of his beer and said, hey you kinda look like Butt-head from that show. He said he gets it a lot.

21. I kicked a girl out of my house after some lackluster sex.

I had a girl come over for some extracurricular activities. She was drinking and assumed she was staying the night. After we had very lackluster sex I went down stairs smoked a bowl, walked back upstairs and kicked her out of my house. Definitely an ass move.

22. My friend was counting change, so I knocked all his coins on the ground.

A friend of mine was counting his change on the entrance of our work. We were about to clock in when I asked him What you got there? He shows me with his hand open and I just tapped it from the bottom, all his coins fell on the floor with all the people passing by.

I laughed and left, felt pretty shitty after but when I went to apologize he laughed it off and said he’ll get me next time.

23. Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

After graduating college I spent the summer backpacking around the world. It was the most amazing thing I had ever done; I was kind of shy before but the experience gave me a new-found confidence. Once I was back home I was a hit at bars regaling new friends with stories and was finally successful with attracting the opposite sex. I was having the time of my life.

While I was gone by best friend’s boyfriend overdosed and died at Bonnaroo. A little back story we became friends because she put me back together after a breakup. Stayed with me and cooked for me, but did I return the favor when I came home… no :/

I was too busy having the time of my life. Shortly after I got home she crashed her car and got a DUI. She was in a downward spiral and I ignored her. We were working a shift together after that and I, still in euphoria from the night before, said to her I can’t believe how my life keeps getting better and better and yours just gets worse.

I didn’t realize what I had said until months later. It’s been years and I still think back on that moment. I could have been there for her but I was just a selfish piece of shit.

tldr: Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

24. Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

25. I wanted to meet a gay guy so I could make fun of him.

I was very sheltered as a kid. I went to a private Christian elementary and middle school with 16 people in my 8 the grade class. When I was in 9th grade, I went to my first public school. No one knew me, so I felt like I had to be cool.

One day a friend of mine mentioned that her cousin was gay. I had never met a gay person before. I was genuinely curious if he was just as they appear on TV. So I asked her who he was, wanting to get the chance to meet him. She asked why I wanted to know who he was. Trying to be cool and not like I was genuinely curious, I replied, so I can make fun of him.

The girl sitting in front of me who I had never heard say a word, just turned around and said you’re a dick. It was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

I’ve never felt like more of a piece of shit in my life than that moment.

26. I gave a girl her first kiss as part of a bet.

I started a bet with a friend in middle school that we could get this wholesome straightedge girl to kiss one of us. I won the bet at a super romantic moment at a friend’s pool party by a roaring fire but had no real feelings for the girl. A little while later her friend told me that was her first kiss and she really liked me and was heartbroken when she found out about the bet. She has to live her whole life with that as her first kiss. I’m friends with her on FB and 15 years later she is absolutely beautiful and I still feel awful.

27. I threw a brick over my backyard fence and hit a kid in the head.

I threw a brick over my backyard fence just cause, and actually hit a kid in the head. It was a pretty bad cut. When his parents and my mom came out I just pointed at my brother and he got the ass whoopin’ of a life time. I was like 6.

28. Ran over a birdtwice.

Was driving on a winding road on my way to a job on the countryside when I hit a bird with the car. Stopped the car briefly and saw in my rear-view that it was flapping around until it just sat still in the middle of the road, probably trying to recover from the beating it had taken. I considered stepping out of my car and move the poor bird to the side of the road so it wouldn’t get hit by another car but remembered that flock-living birds can get “expelled” by their flock if they carry an unknown scent. I also figured that this was far off in the countryside in Sweden, and the likelihood of another car passing by anytime soon was close to none.

I was on my way back home about an hour and a half later. My meeting with the client had been a huge success so I was in a great mood, singing to the radio and was probably driving a bit over the limit. I drove up a small crest and on the other side was the same fucking bird sitting in the middle of the road exactly where I left it, I had totally forgotten about it! It was turned towards me and I swear it looked me straight in the eyes, silently cursing at me in its chirpy bird-language as I inevitably drove straight over it for the second time…

Once again I could see the bird being slammed to the asphalt numerous times in my rearview-mirror before disappearing down the slope into the woods.

I’m entirely convinced this bird will dedicate his afterlife to haunting me from the other side for the rest of my life…

29. Girlfriends mom tried killing herself, so I went home to drink.

Was watching with my then girlfriend. Lots of bad things happened that night that we were unaware of, and in the end her dad stormed into our room shouting get upstairs now and call 999. Her mum tried to commit suicide by an overdose on something I’m not aware of. Her mum/dad goes off in the ambulance and my ex is hysterical, crying panicking etc. My uncle at the time also tried to hang himself a few nights previous…. I used this as an excuse to leave my ex for the night, go home and get drunk. I will never forget the tears I left my ex in, while I went home to drink.

30. Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection.

Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection and have it amputated or if she didn’t go hospital it would spread and lose her arm. She started crying, called her mum, and went to hospital.

31. I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them.

I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them. A decade of regret and lost friendships is the result.

32. Told a suicidal girl to go kill herself.

Met a girl through and online game that was a legitimate train wreck. Sending nudes to basically everyone at the age of 12, smoked and drank on the daily at 13 or 14, did coke and speed at 15. Girl was a major bitch and a manipulator to basically everyone, and had no one who cared about her as a result. I tried being the first.

As I said, she ended up being a massive manipulator and one of the only people I’ve ever branded as irredeemable. Checked in on her some years later, and asked her how she’s been. Said she was probably gonna kill herself, to which I replied Yeah, you go do that, and then blocked her.

Is that fucked-up? Yeah. Do I care if she actually killed herself? Can’t say that I do.

33. Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason.

Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason at all when I was like 9 or 10…I was a little shit as a kid.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/02/33-people-confess-the-shittiest-thing-theyve-ever-done/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/167051727832

[samanthasroberts]

33 People Confess The Shittiest Thing They’ve Ever Done

Found on AskReddit.

1. I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

When I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

2. THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

Learning guitar from uncle. Can’t do it. He said something like, Its easy, come on, you can do it!

Cue: THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

I mean fuck if any of you can top that I will be surprised; I was a little shit. Aunt ended up dying of cancer by the way.

3. Can you wait until you get home to start crying?

The other day my friend was in my car and said, I feel like I’m about to start crying. My immediate response was, Okaywell, can you wait until you get home to do that?

4. Stirred a coworkers drink with my dick.

I was pissed at a coworker who kept pushing her religion on me and I retaliated by stirring her drink with my dick after she had left it unattended. It was a silent victory for me. I look back on it and know that I’m a horrible human being for what I’ve done.

5. I intentionally broke a girls crayons while she cried.

When I was in 1st grade, I accidentally stepped on and broke a crayon this girl had while she was coloring on the ground. She started crying a lot about her broken crayon, so I looked her dead in the eyes and said I can’t be friends with sissy’s who cry over crayons. I then proceeded to intentionally step on and break the rest of her crayons.

6. Saw a man bleeding on the roadside and kept driving.

I was driving my ex home from the movies, and we chanced across a wreck on the roadside. The driver’s head was lolled on his shoulder, openly bleeding and obviously in need of assistance. My ex kept insisting, Keep driving. Someone will help him.

I feel like shit that I let her run me like that; I can’t believe I wasn’t the one to help him.

7. I made a Holocaust joke to a Jewish girl.

We were watching a doc about the Holocaust in journalism class (?)I was sitting behind a Jewish girl and right after they bulldozed a pile of dead bodies into a ditch I asked her if she recognized anyone on the screen.

As soon as it came out, I was horrified. we both participated in off-color inappropriate joking before, but this was next-level.

What a shitty thing to say. Im still ashamed.

8. I yelled at my grandfather and he died before I got a chance to say Im sorry.

I once yelled at my grandfather because he didn’t allow me to go over to a friends house because it was almost lunch time. He died before I got a chance to say sorry, gonna live with that for the rest of my life.

9. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Sitting at a table with friends at college when a girl and her friend join us cause she knew one of my friends. Girl’s a real jerk to everyone. She hones in on my good friend who is insecure. Nervous laughter from everyone so she goes harder.

I stop her and, half-jokingly say, wow, good one. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on? (She was seriously flat as a board)

Girl stands up crying and runs out of the building. Turn to everyone cause no idea how that should be the reaction.

Friends tell me, She had breast cancer when she was 16 and had to have them removed. Only happened a few years ago.

Nice.

10. Threw sand in a kid’s face.

Threw sand in a kid’s face once. We were playing in the sandbox and I was trying to demonstrate that it exploded so I threw a bunch of sand in the air. 97% of it went right into his face. I was an adult.

12. I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it.

I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it. It happened a few months ago and I keep replaying it in my head, wishing I’d done something.

13. Emily, Im sorry.

When I was around 15 I met a girl online and we quickly fell in love, as hormonal teenagers are prone to do. Her parents went away during the school summer break, leaving her home alone for a while and she invited me to come and stay with her as our first face-to-face meeting.

I took the train down to where she lived but on arrival my heart sank. Even though I’d seen pictures of her, she didn’t really resemble the image my love-struck 15-year-old mind had built up. Mutual awkwardness and disappointment became the theme of our first day together so much so that I decided that, not only was I going to go back home the very next day (I think I was supposed to stay for a whole week) but I didn’t want to see or speak to her again.

Just before I left I crept into her room and erased my number from her phone. Then it occurred to me that she had an inbox full of text messages from my number so I had to re-creep into her room and stealthily delete all of those, thus ‘deleting’ myself from her life.

I left and never heard from her again (although she did have my email address). That was about 17 years ago and I still feel very shitty about what I did.

Emily, I’m sorry.

14. Convinced a girl to blow me, them made her take the bus home.

Late, at party for my birthday, managed to chat a cute girl into blowing me. Was too drunk/tired/high on myself after to get her home properly so I made her take the bus. Not a heartbreaking moment but a real ass move.

15. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Hooked up with a coworker at her house after a party. After we had finished she asked me to stay and cuddle, obviously douchebag didn’t wanna stay and cuddle. I had made up my mind to walk home shitfaced at 3am. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Cue next day rolling around and at work I ask where she is and my boss tells me that she is spreading her mom’s ashes back in her home state and she was taking a few days off. That’s when I knew I was a real piece of shit.

Bonus points, she survived cancer a few months later.

16. I purposely smudged an old lady janitors mopping job.

Probs around age ten I was this piece of shit edgelord.Flash-forward to me in a McDonalds. Old janitor lady is mopping the floor. What does shitty ten-year-old me do? Walk across the mop trail and swish my feet to intentionally smudge it.

Gods I can barely think about it. Not even because I’m pissed or ashamed at myself but because of just that was, be it myself doing it or anyone else. This was probably an old lady barely able to make ends meet, trying to do whatever job she could…probably never wanted to hurt a soul. Then comes along some shitty rich kid who does something completely fucking douchey like ruin a mop job. Sure, not the most monstrous thing at face value, but put all of what I just said together and…fucking hell. That is dickish. I feel bad about it to this day; even writing about it is hard.

17. I refused help to a man who needed it.

I was walking out of a 7-11 gas station a couple of blocks from my apartment building late at night (no one else was there). An old, run down car pulled in and the driver rolled down the window and called over to me. He was clearly very upset and looked like he’d been crying. He told me he just found out his daughter had been in an accident and had been airlifted to a hospital about an hour away. He was trying to get there, but he was almost out of gas and didn’t have any money on him. He pleaded with me for anything I could spare. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me, and I went on my way.

That was a lie. I had plenty of cash on me, and regardless I had my cards on me with which I could’ve bought him some gas. I got about halfway home, thought about what I’d just done, and went back, but he was already gone. I went home where my friends were drinking, and I just sat on the couch and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the night.

What the hell was wrong with me? Was I so jaded from living in a big city with panhandlers regularly asking for money that I couldn’t recognize when someone might genuinely need my help? The emotion on that man’s face was real, as was the pain in his voice. I don’t think I’ll forget the desperate please! as long as I live. Was it really that big of a risk to give this guy $20? Would that loss to me if he was some Broadway-class con man really be that bad when weighed against the possibility that I just let down a father going through the worst moment of his life?

What if his daughter didn’t make it, and he didn’t get to see her before she passed because some cynical asshole at the gas station couldn’t spare a few dollars? I hope that wasn’t the case, that his daughter was fine, and that someone with more compassion was able to help him…or better yet, that there was no accident and he was playing me. Thinking about the alternative has kept me awake at night on multiple occasions.

Ever since then I have tried to keep a more open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt, so that the next time I’m in a position to help someone who needs me, I won’t fail them.

I don’t think the guy wanted money for drugs. Anyone who works with drug addicts like I do would know that a true addict wouldn’t have any car, no matter how crap, that could be sold for even a few bucks that could get them another fix. Also, my neighborhood wasn’t anywhere near the drug corners, and he didn’t have the physical indicators.

18. Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. He died four days later

Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. I had two vacation days from work which I used to visit someone I had been dating for a month on Thursday and Friday. Then at my parents place for the holiday and back to work the next week. My grandfather passed away on 29th of December last year. I’m a real piece of shit.

I made damn sure to drive the some 220km to leave a candle for him at a veteran memorial stone on New Year’s Eve. At the town he had lived for his whole life.

19. Told my mom I wanted to name my kid after my dad.

Was having a chat with my brother, sister, and mother about names for kids. promptly say that I don’t like the idea of naming my kid after a family member but if I did it would be my fathers name. At the end of this rambling, mildly insulting speech I look straight at my mom and say because I love Dad. Immediately realized that implied that I didn’t love my mother enough to name my kids after her. I tried retracing my steps and covering up my mistake, she laughed and joked about it, but her face showed that she was pretty hurt. Broke my heart that I could be that careless, that woman’s done nothing but good for me.

20. Told my host he looked like Butt-head.

Hung out with the host of a New Years party for a bit. Drank some of his beer and said, hey you kinda look like Butt-head from that show. He said he gets it a lot.

21. I kicked a girl out of my house after some lackluster sex.

I had a girl come over for some extracurricular activities. She was drinking and assumed she was staying the night. After we had very lackluster sex I went down stairs smoked a bowl, walked back upstairs and kicked her out of my house. Definitely an ass move.

22. My friend was counting change, so I knocked all his coins on the ground.

A friend of mine was counting his change on the entrance of our work. We were about to clock in when I asked him What you got there? He shows me with his hand open and I just tapped it from the bottom, all his coins fell on the floor with all the people passing by.

I laughed and left, felt pretty shitty after but when I went to apologize he laughed it off and said he’ll get me next time.

23. Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

After graduating college I spent the summer backpacking around the world. It was the most amazing thing I had ever done; I was kind of shy before but the experience gave me a new-found confidence. Once I was back home I was a hit at bars regaling new friends with stories and was finally successful with attracting the opposite sex. I was having the time of my life.

While I was gone by best friend’s boyfriend overdosed and died at Bonnaroo. A little back story we became friends because she put me back together after a breakup. Stayed with me and cooked for me, but did I return the favor when I came home… no

I was too busy having the time of my life. Shortly after I got home she crashed her car and got a DUI. She was in a downward spiral and I ignored her. We were working a shift together after that and I, still in euphoria from the night before, said to her I can’t believe how my life keeps getting better and better and yours just gets worse.

I didn’t realize what I had said until months later. It’s been years and I still think back on that moment. I could have been there for her but I was just a selfish piece of shit.

tldr: Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

24. Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

25. I wanted to meet a gay guy so I could make fun of him.

I was very sheltered as a kid. I went to a private Christian elementary and middle school with 16 people in my 8 the grade class. When I was in 9th grade, I went to my first public school. No one knew me, so I felt like I had to be cool.

One day a friend of mine mentioned that her cousin was gay. I had never met a gay person before. I was genuinely curious if he was just as they appear on TV. So I asked her who he was, wanting to get the chance to meet him. She asked why I wanted to know who he was. Trying to be cool and not like I was genuinely curious, I replied, so I can make fun of him.

The girl sitting in front of me who I had never heard say a word, just turned around and said you’re a dick. It was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

I’ve never felt like more of a piece of shit in my life than that moment.

26. I gave a girl her first kiss as part of a bet.

I started a bet with a friend in middle school that we could get this wholesome straightedge girl to kiss one of us. I won the bet at a super romantic moment at a friend’s pool party by a roaring fire but had no real feelings for the girl. A little while later her friend told me that was her first kiss and she really liked me and was heartbroken when she found out about the bet. She has to live her whole life with that as her first kiss. I’m friends with her on FB and 15 years later she is absolutely beautiful and I still feel awful.

27. I threw a brick over my backyard fence and hit a kid in the head.

I threw a brick over my backyard fence just cause, and actually hit a kid in the head. It was a pretty bad cut. When his parents and my mom came out I just pointed at my brother and he got the ass whoopin’ of a life time. I was like 6.

28. Ran over a birdtwice.

Was driving on a winding road on my way to a job on the countryside when I hit a bird with the car. Stopped the car briefly and saw in my rear-view that it was flapping around until it just sat still in the middle of the road, probably trying to recover from the beating it had taken. I considered stepping out of my car and move the poor bird to the side of the road so it wouldn’t get hit by another car but remembered that flock-living birds can get “expelled” by their flock if they carry an unknown scent. I also figured that this was far off in the countryside in Sweden, and the likelihood of another car passing by anytime soon was close to none.

I was on my way back home about an hour and a half later. My meeting with the client had been a huge success so I was in a great mood, singing to the radio and was probably driving a bit over the limit. I drove up a small crest and on the other side was the same fucking bird sitting in the middle of the road exactly where I left it, I had totally forgotten about it! It was turned towards me and I swear it looked me straight in the eyes, silently cursing at me in its chirpy bird-language as I inevitably drove straight over it for the second time…

Once again I could see the bird being slammed to the asphalt numerous times in my rearview-mirror before disappearing down the slope into the woods.

I’m entirely convinced this bird will dedicate his afterlife to haunting me from the other side for the rest of my life…

29. Girlfriends mom tried killing herself, so I went home to drink.

Was watching with my then girlfriend. Lots of bad things happened that night that we were unaware of, and in the end her dad stormed into our room shouting get upstairs now and call 999. Her mum tried to commit suicide by an overdose on something I’m not aware of. Her mum/dad goes off in the ambulance and my ex is hysterical, crying panicking etc. My uncle at the time also tried to hang himself a few nights previous…. I used this as an excuse to leave my ex for the night, go home and get drunk. I will never forget the tears I left my ex in, while I went home to drink.

30. Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection.

Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection and have it amputated or if she didn’t go hospital it would spread and lose her arm. She started crying, called her mum, and went to hospital.

31. I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them.

I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them. A decade of regret and lost friendships is the result.

32. Told a suicidal girl to go kill herself.

Met a girl through and online game that was a legitimate train wreck. Sending nudes to basically everyone at the age of 12, smoked and drank on the daily at 13 or 14, did coke and speed at 15. Girl was a major bitch and a manipulator to basically everyone, and had no one who cared about her as a result. I tried being the first.

As I said, she ended up being a massive manipulator and one of the only people I’ve ever branded as irredeemable. Checked in on her some years later, and asked her how she’s been. Said she was probably gonna kill herself, to which I replied Yeah, you go do that, and then blocked her.

Is that fucked-up? Yeah. Do I care if she actually killed herself? Can’t say that I do.

33. Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason.

Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason at all when I was like 9 or 10…I was a little shit as a kid.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/02/33-people-confess-the-shittiest-thing-theyve-ever-done/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/11/02/33-people-confess-the-shittiest-thing-theyve-ever-done/

[allofbeercom]

33 People Confess The Shittiest Thing They’ve Ever Done

Found on AskReddit.

1. I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

When I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

2. THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

Learning guitar from uncle. Can’t do it. He said something like, Its easy, come on, you can do it!

Cue: THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

I mean fuck if any of you can top that I will be surprised; I was a little shit. Aunt ended up dying of cancer by the way.

3. Can you wait until you get home to start crying?

The other day my friend was in my car and said, I feel like I’m about to start crying. My immediate response was, Okaywell, can you wait until you get home to do that?

4. Stirred a coworkers drink with my dick.

I was pissed at a coworker who kept pushing her religion on me and I retaliated by stirring her drink with my dick after she had left it unattended. It was a silent victory for me. I look back on it and know that I’m a horrible human being for what I’ve done.

5. I intentionally broke a girls crayons while she cried.

When I was in 1st grade, I accidentally stepped on and broke a crayon this girl had while she was coloring on the ground. She started crying a lot about her broken crayon, so I looked her dead in the eyes and said I can’t be friends with sissy’s who cry over crayons. I then proceeded to intentionally step on and break the rest of her crayons.

6. Saw a man bleeding on the roadside and kept driving.

I was driving my ex home from the movies, and we chanced across a wreck on the roadside. The driver’s head was lolled on his shoulder, openly bleeding and obviously in need of assistance. My ex kept insisting, Keep driving. Someone will help him.

I feel like shit that I let her run me like that; I can’t believe I wasn’t the one to help him.

7. I made a Holocaust joke to a Jewish girl.

We were watching a doc about the Holocaust in journalism class (?)I was sitting behind a Jewish girl and right after they bulldozed a pile of dead bodies into a ditch I asked her if she recognized anyone on the screen.

As soon as it came out, I was horrified. we both participated in off-color inappropriate joking before, but this was next-level.

What a shitty thing to say. Im still ashamed.

8. I yelled at my grandfather and he died before I got a chance to say Im sorry.

I once yelled at my grandfather because he didn’t allow me to go over to a friends house because it was almost lunch time. He died before I got a chance to say sorry, gonna live with that for the rest of my life.

9. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Sitting at a table with friends at college when a girl and her friend join us cause she knew one of my friends. Girl’s a real jerk to everyone. She hones in on my good friend who is insecure. Nervous laughter from everyone so she goes harder.

I stop her and, half-jokingly say, wow, good one. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on? (She was seriously flat as a board)

Girl stands up crying and runs out of the building. Turn to everyone cause no idea how that should be the reaction.

Friends tell me, She had breast cancer when she was 16 and had to have them removed. Only happened a few years ago.

Nice.

10. Threw sand in a kid’s face.

Threw sand in a kid’s face once. We were playing in the sandbox and I was trying to demonstrate that it exploded so I threw a bunch of sand in the air. 97% of it went right into his face. I was an adult.

12. I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it.

I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it. It happened a few months ago and I keep replaying it in my head, wishing I’d done something.

13. Emily, Im sorry.

When I was around 15 I met a girl online and we quickly fell in love, as hormonal teenagers are prone to do. Her parents went away during the school summer break, leaving her home alone for a while and she invited me to come and stay with her as our first face-to-face meeting.

I took the train down to where she lived but on arrival my heart sank. Even though I’d seen pictures of her, she didn’t really resemble the image my love-struck 15-year-old mind had built up. Mutual awkwardness and disappointment became the theme of our first day together so much so that I decided that, not only was I going to go back home the very next day (I think I was supposed to stay for a whole week) but I didn’t want to see or speak to her again.

Just before I left I crept into her room and erased my number from her phone. Then it occurred to me that she had an inbox full of text messages from my number so I had to re-creep into her room and stealthily delete all of those, thus ‘deleting’ myself from her life.

I left and never heard from her again (although she did have my email address). That was about 17 years ago and I still feel very shitty about what I did.

Emily, I’m sorry.

14. Convinced a girl to blow me, them made her take the bus home.

Late, at party for my birthday, managed to chat a cute girl into blowing me. Was too drunk/tired/high on myself after to get her home properly so I made her take the bus. Not a heartbreaking moment but a real ass move.

15. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Hooked up with a coworker at her house after a party. After we had finished she asked me to stay and cuddle, obviously douchebag didn’t wanna stay and cuddle. I had made up my mind to walk home shitfaced at 3am. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Cue next day rolling around and at work I ask where she is and my boss tells me that she is spreading her mom’s ashes back in her home state and she was taking a few days off. That’s when I knew I was a real piece of shit.

Bonus points, she survived cancer a few months later.

16. I purposely smudged an old lady janitors mopping job.

Probs around age ten I was this piece of shit edgelord.Flash-forward to me in a McDonalds. Old janitor lady is mopping the floor. What does shitty ten-year-old me do? Walk across the mop trail and swish my feet to intentionally smudge it.

Gods I can barely think about it. Not even because I’m pissed or ashamed at myself but because of just that was, be it myself doing it or anyone else. This was probably an old lady barely able to make ends meet, trying to do whatever job she could…probably never wanted to hurt a soul. Then comes along some shitty rich kid who does something completely fucking douchey like ruin a mop job. Sure, not the most monstrous thing at face value, but put all of what I just said together and…fucking hell. That is dickish. I feel bad about it to this day; even writing about it is hard.

17. I refused help to a man who needed it.

I was walking out of a 7-11 gas station a couple of blocks from my apartment building late at night (no one else was there). An old, run down car pulled in and the driver rolled down the window and called over to me. He was clearly very upset and looked like he’d been crying. He told me he just found out his daughter had been in an accident and had been airlifted to a hospital about an hour away. He was trying to get there, but he was almost out of gas and didn’t have any money on him. He pleaded with me for anything I could spare. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me, and I went on my way.

That was a lie. I had plenty of cash on me, and regardless I had my cards on me with which I could’ve bought him some gas. I got about halfway home, thought about what I’d just done, and went back, but he was already gone. I went home where my friends were drinking, and I just sat on the couch and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the night.

What the hell was wrong with me? Was I so jaded from living in a big city with panhandlers regularly asking for money that I couldn’t recognize when someone might genuinely need my help? The emotion on that man’s face was real, as was the pain in his voice. I don’t think I’ll forget the desperate please! as long as I live. Was it really that big of a risk to give this guy $20? Would that loss to me if he was some Broadway-class con man really be that bad when weighed against the possibility that I just let down a father going through the worst moment of his life?

What if his daughter didn’t make it, and he didn’t get to see her before she passed because some cynical asshole at the gas station couldn’t spare a few dollars? I hope that wasn’t the case, that his daughter was fine, and that someone with more compassion was able to help him…or better yet, that there was no accident and he was playing me. Thinking about the alternative has kept me awake at night on multiple occasions.

Ever since then I have tried to keep a more open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt, so that the next time I’m in a position to help someone who needs me, I won’t fail them.

I don’t think the guy wanted money for drugs. Anyone who works with drug addicts like I do would know that a true addict wouldn’t have any car, no matter how crap, that could be sold for even a few bucks that could get them another fix. Also, my neighborhood wasn’t anywhere near the drug corners, and he didn’t have the physical indicators.

18. Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. He died four days later

Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. I had two vacation days from work which I used to visit someone I had been dating for a month on Thursday and Friday. Then at my parents place for the holiday and back to work the next week. My grandfather passed away on 29th of December last year. I’m a real piece of shit.

I made damn sure to drive the some 220km to leave a candle for him at a veteran memorial stone on New Year’s Eve. At the town he had lived for his whole life.

19. Told my mom I wanted to name my kid after my dad.

Was having a chat with my brother, sister, and mother about names for kids. promptly say that I don’t like the idea of naming my kid after a family member but if I did it would be my fathers name. At the end of this rambling, mildly insulting speech I look straight at my mom and say because I love Dad. Immediately realized that implied that I didn’t love my mother enough to name my kids after her. I tried retracing my steps and covering up my mistake, she laughed and joked about it, but her face showed that she was pretty hurt. Broke my heart that I could be that careless, that woman’s done nothing but good for me.

20. Told my host he looked like Butt-head.

Hung out with the host of a New Years party for a bit. Drank some of his beer and said, hey you kinda look like Butt-head from that show. He said he gets it a lot.

21. I kicked a girl out of my house after some lackluster sex.

I had a girl come over for some extracurricular activities. She was drinking and assumed she was staying the night. After we had very lackluster sex I went down stairs smoked a bowl, walked back upstairs and kicked her out of my house. Definitely an ass move.

22. My friend was counting change, so I knocked all his coins on the ground.

A friend of mine was counting his change on the entrance of our work. We were about to clock in when I asked him What you got there? He shows me with his hand open and I just tapped it from the bottom, all his coins fell on the floor with all the people passing by.

I laughed and left, felt pretty shitty after but when I went to apologize he laughed it off and said he’ll get me next time.

23. Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

After graduating college I spent the summer backpacking around the world. It was the most amazing thing I had ever done; I was kind of shy before but the experience gave me a new-found confidence. Once I was back home I was a hit at bars regaling new friends with stories and was finally successful with attracting the opposite sex. I was having the time of my life.

While I was gone by best friend’s boyfriend overdosed and died at Bonnaroo. A little back story we became friends because she put me back together after a breakup. Stayed with me and cooked for me, but did I return the favor when I came home… no :/

I was too busy having the time of my life. Shortly after I got home she crashed her car and got a DUI. She was in a downward spiral and I ignored her. We were working a shift together after that and I, still in euphoria from the night before, said to her I can’t believe how my life keeps getting better and better and yours just gets worse.

I didn’t realize what I had said until months later. It’s been years and I still think back on that moment. I could have been there for her but I was just a selfish piece of shit.

tldr: Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

24. Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

25. I wanted to meet a gay guy so I could make fun of him.

I was very sheltered as a kid. I went to a private Christian elementary and middle school with 16 people in my 8 the grade class. When I was in 9th grade, I went to my first public school. No one knew me, so I felt like I had to be cool.

One day a friend of mine mentioned that her cousin was gay. I had never met a gay person before. I was genuinely curious if he was just as they appear on TV. So I asked her who he was, wanting to get the chance to meet him. She asked why I wanted to know who he was. Trying to be cool and not like I was genuinely curious, I replied, so I can make fun of him.

The girl sitting in front of me who I had never heard say a word, just turned around and said you’re a dick. It was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

I’ve never felt like more of a piece of shit in my life than that moment.

26. I gave a girl her first kiss as part of a bet.

I started a bet with a friend in middle school that we could get this wholesome straightedge girl to kiss one of us. I won the bet at a super romantic moment at a friend’s pool party by a roaring fire but had no real feelings for the girl. A little while later her friend told me that was her first kiss and she really liked me and was heartbroken when she found out about the bet. She has to live her whole life with that as her first kiss. I’m friends with her on FB and 15 years later she is absolutely beautiful and I still feel awful.

27. I threw a brick over my backyard fence and hit a kid in the head.

I threw a brick over my backyard fence just cause, and actually hit a kid in the head. It was a pretty bad cut. When his parents and my mom came out I just pointed at my brother and he got the ass whoopin’ of a life time. I was like 6.

28. Ran over a birdtwice.

Was driving on a winding road on my way to a job on the countryside when I hit a bird with the car. Stopped the car briefly and saw in my rear-view that it was flapping around until it just sat still in the middle of the road, probably trying to recover from the beating it had taken. I considered stepping out of my car and move the poor bird to the side of the road so it wouldn’t get hit by another car but remembered that flock-living birds can get “expelled” by their flock if they carry an unknown scent. I also figured that this was far off in the countryside in Sweden, and the likelihood of another car passing by anytime soon was close to none.

I was on my way back home about an hour and a half later. My meeting with the client had been a huge success so I was in a great mood, singing to the radio and was probably driving a bit over the limit. I drove up a small crest and on the other side was the same fucking bird sitting in the middle of the road exactly where I left it, I had totally forgotten about it! It was turned towards me and I swear it looked me straight in the eyes, silently cursing at me in its chirpy bird-language as I inevitably drove straight over it for the second time…

Once again I could see the bird being slammed to the asphalt numerous times in my rearview-mirror before disappearing down the slope into the woods.

I’m entirely convinced this bird will dedicate his afterlife to haunting me from the other side for the rest of my life…

29. Girlfriends mom tried killing herself, so I went home to drink.

Was watching with my then girlfriend. Lots of bad things happened that night that we were unaware of, and in the end her dad stormed into our room shouting get upstairs now and call 999. Her mum tried to commit suicide by an overdose on something I’m not aware of. Her mum/dad goes off in the ambulance and my ex is hysterical, crying panicking etc. My uncle at the time also tried to hang himself a few nights previous…. I used this as an excuse to leave my ex for the night, go home and get drunk. I will never forget the tears I left my ex in, while I went home to drink.

30. Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection.

Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection and have it amputated or if she didn’t go hospital it would spread and lose her arm. She started crying, called her mum, and went to hospital.

31. I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them.

I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them. A decade of regret and lost friendships is the result.

32. Told a suicidal girl to go kill herself.

Met a girl through and online game that was a legitimate train wreck. Sending nudes to basically everyone at the age of 12, smoked and drank on the daily at 13 or 14, did coke and speed at 15. Girl was a major bitch and a manipulator to basically everyone, and had no one who cared about her as a result. I tried being the first.

As I said, she ended up being a massive manipulator and one of the only people I’ve ever branded as irredeemable. Checked in on her some years later, and asked her how she’s been. Said she was probably gonna kill herself, to which I replied Yeah, you go do that, and then blocked her.

Is that fucked-up? Yeah. Do I care if she actually killed herself? Can’t say that I do.

33. Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason.

Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason at all when I was like 9 or 10…I was a little shit as a kid.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/02/33-people-confess-the-shittiest-thing-theyve-ever-done/

[autumnbreeze44-blog]

X&O

Dear X,

Im writing this to you more for myself than anything else I guess. There is so much I just needed you to know but what's funny is you will never read or hear or even know about this letter. I don't know how to start this off so let me try start it from the beginning.

I knew about you way before you knew about me, how creepy right, but I knew you through a friend and that night I called you pretending to have the wrong number, even though it's kind of like this letter I didn't know how to start it so I just jumped in, but that night changed the way I would look at life forever. Now I know it sounds really dramatic and all but if only you knew how true it was.

You were so nice to me in the beginning and the first time we met in person, at village which turns out would be the only time you would actually come and see me, well confession time I still had a boyfriend so I kinda did lie when I said I was single, but there was something about you something there that made me pick you, a complete stranger who would later fuck over my entire world, there was something there that made me pick you over him. Now this what confuses me is knowing how much you put me through all the hurt and the tears and everything else I would still pick you again.

It's at this moment I would like officially say fuck you, because you have successfully fucked me over completely because I don't know if I am capable to love anyone else the way I loved you, I say loved knowing fully well it's anything but past tense. You have worked you way into my everything like a cancer. Now the thing about cancer is it causes pain and destruction and very often death but it is still ones self. So as much I hate how you often made me feel you are now a part of me a part I can't cut out, but you were just like morphine too because when you were out of site you were out of my mind but only for a brief moment because I knew you were still there waiting, waiting like the boogieman under a child's bed.

You were one match stick and I, I was a gasoline pipe. Something so small that burnt my everything and my fire will only ever burn for you.

I hate you so much. Lol I laugh but it's true. I hate that you never loved me. I hate how you made me cry over you. It made me feel pathetic and worthless. I hate how I still cry over you. I hated that I couldn't tell people about us about you because I cared so much about what they would say. I hate how much of my time you wasted all those pointless trips to your house to do nothing all that wasted fuel for someone who couldn't even give two shits about me. I hate how you became my world and I didn't become yours. I hate how it was always me trying and you could just brush me off like I was dirt on your hand after playing outside. I hated how we had that romantic movie vibe down but left before we could get back to the cute ending. I hate that you're gone.

I hate how much I love you. Because we all know there is a fine line between loving someone and hating them, and I was always lost between the two worlds like a broken bit of driftwood lost at sea from a shipwreck that was us and that seems oh so far away now.

I loved how just as easily as you could make me cry you could make me laugh just as hard. I loved how I could see your pain through your perfectly blue eyes like for a second I could glimpse into your soul. Now I know I might have sold myself dreams here, but I loved how there was always a shimmer of hope when you looked at me. I love that you love kids especially your nephew. I loved the way you would hold me; your arms around my body how safe I felt and how when I was in your arms all my worries and pain and hurt would go away. I loved how you told you didn't want to let me go. I loved how you made my heart beat slow and fast at the same time. I loved how your dirty blond hair so soft and free fell over your face after you took a shower and I loved how it waved so gently in the breeze when it was dry. I loved how your lips felt on mine. I loved how you smelt of cigarettes and musky cologne. I loved how I had to be on my tippy toes to kiss you when we were standing. I loved the way you made me feel so alive.

You were exciting.

I didn't care that you didn't have a 6 pack or hit the gym. I didn't care that your spelling was really shitty because mine is too. I didn't care about the scar on your hands or that you always kept me waiting because you always knew what to say. I never cared.

I didn't ever want to loose you but you were never really mine to have to begin with. And it break my heart just writing this as I know one day someday you will look at another girl the way you looked at me, you will hold her in your arms and never let her go and you will kiss her with the same passion everyday as if it's the very first kiss, now just know I am bubbling with rage and breaking down with pain all at once about this girl who may, or may not, already exist; but if she makes you happy and is like sunshine to your day then I hope she never leaves you. I hope she is what I never was for you but you were always to me, because all I ever wanted and still want is for you to be happy and successful.

There was, well there still is, something about you that makes you so special. There is something about YOU that makes me a pessimistic girl believe in you and I wish you could believe in you, I wish you could have believed in us too.

Now I know we are worlds apart, and I might actually never see you again, but always know I loved you fully and deeply and I really hope that somewhere some way somehow someday our paths do collide again and That they never split. I hope next time, if there is a next time you will feel the way I felt about you.

Love now and always, O