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baylardo · 11 months

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Tardi had me heckin BRAINWORMIN over future threshold au kid stuff mainly surrounding that amelia arc hohgohhioioigh REALLY MESSY THOUGHTS IM EXPANDING ON FROM MY BULLETED THOUGHTS THIS MORNING HAHA. THIS IS GONNA BE RLLY LONG IM PROBABLY GONNA JUST COPY AND PASTE SOME THINGS FROM OUR CONVO LOLOL

in re: what philippa is doing prior to the arc: just lil science missions. i wanna say shes done some triage before, so shes probably been in a warzone as a field medic by this point. i dont think shed be necessarily choosing short term missions for the sake of hearing news about her sister, i think shed do what shes assigned? (not really sure how it works tbH) and its more of an intuitive feeling just kinda eating at her. I DONT HAVE A NAME FOR THE SHIP(s), nothing too important or flashy. i dont think shed work on galaxy class or w/e the family ships are.

in re: time duration of things in general for the arc???: current influencers are like:::::::: its not enough time to where starfleet's concerned to go look for them in the DQ, but they havent contacted starfleet in a while (maybe the mission called for "comm silence") but regardless, it doesnt sit well with philippa. it also has to be enough time for amelia's ship to like, get out to the DQ for their mission, for things to go wrong, for her to take charge, for the ship to MAYBE??? be destroyed (hmmm put a pin here maybe theyll need the ship to transport crew……), for the crew to get separated/captured/enslaved/killed, for amelia to try and survive on her own, for her to get captured by the Kazon and eventually rise in status to command alongside Sessen,,,, develop their friendship,,,,, they seem a little friendship platonic with benefits to me,,, might change my mind on that idk. ANYWAY enough time for their Kazon sect to fall apart/be defeated, sessen to die, have a few months of amelia nomadically wandering the DQ again and be slightly pregnant (can be four months, can be less if u wanna heck w/ gestation) my brain wants to guess around a year???, just cuz i dont wanna waste too much time on this arc when i gotta shove philippa into command track and CAPTAIN. and it'd be like another year of philippa searching for her by the time theyre reunited.

Maje name for Amelia? not sure if id wanna do that or not, seems like something she'd adopt and then disinherit when she loses everything she built with the Kazon sect her and Sessen were in

Jace was the only one philippa confided in about leaving to go find her sister. given she's an experimental shuttle test pilot we were thinking she'd help Philippa steal a confidential secret spacecraft Starfleet's been making. :) Not super sure what all is quirky and secret and special about it rn but ITS SOMETHIN.

Not super sure what happens to the rest of Amelia’s starship crew? If any of them are found, how do they get home? PUTTING A PIN IN THAT ONE, i see a few possibilities but nothing super uuuuuh Solid haha. YEAH I DONT KNOW HOW EXACTLY IM GONNA GO ABOUT THE CREW,,,,, but i figure thats probably A GOAL TO HAVE. i figure for sure amelia's captain is dead and it put her in that command position and she didnt like it and everything went amuck under her leadership blah blah blah i was thinking like, maybe if philippa has this experimental spacecraft this whole time, maybe she ends up using that, giving it to the crew to get home at some point,,,, but IM NOT SURE, seems like things could get overpopulated rather quickly, i also figure a lot of them are dead,,,,,,,,,,,,, id have to think about what weird quirky dangerous things you could do with a classified starfleet ship. ANOTHER IDEA is that maybe Amelia's crew's starship is crashlanded somewhere, and like, its abandoned, but as Philippa and Ed find more crew members, they start getting more and more people to work on repairing the ship??? maybe they use the lil craft Philippa stole to get around, but most of them are on this crummy planet working on the ship while Philippa and Ed are out searching for more of them??? i dunno haha.

in re: how Ed meets up with Philippa out in the DQ: one idea id had was maybe theyd meet in an alien bazaar or something, Philippa getting into trouble because shes secretly carrying a starfleet comm badge to communicate and gets captured or something bc the locals hate Voyager, Ed gets her out and they escape together.

Amelia finding out she’s pregnant while she’s still with the Kazon and Sessen, just ‘cause I think they’d talk about raising baby by Kazon standards and tradition and talk about the importance of names. I think "Sessen" would have been the name Seska gave him when he was born and then he kept it rather than earning an adult name for himself, Amelia has a weird history with her name as well. She’s nervous about raising their son here, but buries those fears underneath the assurance that they’re together.

I was thinking that in the time after Amelia loses Sessen and escapes the other Kazon sects and everything that she'd kinda just drift from place to place trying to survive making ends meet doing weird jobs and trying to stay hidden. Philippa and Ed find Amelia temporarily living on a planet or in a cluster of asteroids as a space racer maybe? She’s like a little visibly preggers…

philippa midwifing for her sister as a field medic who hasnt delivered a baby but she like Kinda knows what shes doing

Maybe they have to find the rest of the lost crew, takes long enough for Amelia to have her baby and Philippa to midwife and everything?

i was yearning thinking about how likeeee theyd still be mad at each other over what all has transpired and probably are fighting while Amelia's like mid-labor lol. she has a weird lil alien boy that kathryn ends up ADORING and smothering a lot as his grandmother haha. im not really sure how it would transpire,,,, but its got me pondering today if maybe philippa convinces her to come home bc of her lil babyyyy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like theyre out in the delta quadrant and they both have their own little damages and hurts from their shared childhood spent out in this here and just being like "this is no place to raise a child, this isnt our home" or SOMETHING but IM NOT SURE ON THAT ONE only cuz obviously ppl DO raise their kids in the DQ lololol,,,,,,,,,,, PUT A PIN IN IT

Amelia's baby name Sekh? Maybe Sek… dont want anything directly connected to Amelia's family.

in re: how old they all are during this arc lmao::::: idk how early you can make lieutenant commander tbH id revolve this whole plot realistically around that bc my current idea has it that its her first time "commanding" a ship and things go badly and she chooses to remain lost and not try and find a way home.

Amelia still wears her “war trophy” feathers, maybe one of them is Sessen’s

in re: Ed's thoughts about Suspiria dying::: i think Ed has a very unique perspective on life and death, going around studying other cultures' religions, i think both him and her would have an understanding and acceptance of things by the end of their time together. like suspiria's EFFECTIVELY the last of her kind; string theory ends with all of the Nacene "ascending" and Suspiria is presumed dead so shes not there the entire book. and LIKE, my idea with that is just that shes unknowingly searching for her people to no avail the whole time. :^) anyway Ed and Suspiria's WHOLE THING is finding weird little alien short term solutions to help keep Suspiria alive so she can return and replenish herself in the nacene realm Exosia,,, which unbeknownst to her is impossible now hohoho :3c I DIGRESS THOUGH ed's perspective on it likeeeeee i think he'd miss her but also be happy for her in a weird way that she was finally ready to move on from grasping onto life and all that. :^) dark kermit me wants to have her die protecting/saving Amelia's hypothetical baby boy but I DUNNOOOOOOOO hehe :3

Philippa and Amelia inevitably returning home to Starfleet with the remaining crew members of Amelia’s ship. Starfleet pardons Philippa for stealing a classified experimental shuttle (that Jace helped her steal) maybe Amelia (and Philippa?) is/are offered a promotion? Amelia ends up declining and resigning from Starfleet, maybe Philippa gets promoted to Lieutenant? Starfleet presumes it was more of Amelia’s doing in getting her crew home. :( Amelia corrects the error :)

#I RAN OUT OF CHARACTERS HAHA I DIDNT KNOW U COULD DO THAT HDJKHFDJKDF #threshold au #imma reblog this with more PENSIVE U____U not much more tho

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zestyderg · 9 months

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MINECRAFT MOD YOU SAY?

seriously though ive been thinking about the same thing zesty there are a good number of mods that focus on dinosaurs so im gonna base some stuff off them as well as Pixelmon

this might be a long post sorry im racking my brain to how the fossil cleanings could go because every mod that ive seen that are just "put the fossils in the machine and it does everything"

to stay dedicated to the games i propose having KL-33N that when left clicked with a fossil, prompts up the cleaning board that we all know and love and have a pixel version of cleaning said fossil and if you dont have like a drill or hammer they says oh you cant do that basically you need to make a drill or hammer

the cleaning and reviving process will most definitely be in the same structure so id imagine that when a vivosaur is reviving itd look similar to how Pixelmon covers evolving like bright light the color of the element as the fossil grows and then the vivosaur appears

looking back on that one post you made i firmly agree that we need dancing vivosaurs what do you think about vivosaurs being in the wild like no trainer or anything kinda like that allosaur in the beginning of FFC also would mining fossils prompt the fights of wild trainers wanting said fossils or would they be standing around

omg would the player fucking just launch the vivocoins at other players, npcs, and vivosaurs as hard as they can so you click right and the coin just goes FLYING towards whatever the aim is battlewise id imagine itd be similar to the pixelmon battling(in the wild i mean)

for structures id say having the cities being some of the main ones BUT ZongaZonga in particular would be a bigger structure and be similar to the strongholds that are already in the game, with ZongaZonga skull being in the center or ZongaZonga himself in dino form ready to smite the player (bonus points if the Guardian is also there that the player has to get through first)

Another idea is to have fossil digging sites that are the best place to look for fossils scattered around looking fenced off fossil would still be randomized and can be found while caving but these fossil sights are the best and quickest way to get them

these sights would most likely be closer to the cities as i said before so you can clean them right away but it could be fun to make abandoned sights that are overrun with Vivosaurs with either run down cities or none at all

would the Bonehemoth be a mob or a structure/biome?? if it was a mob then would there be a chance that if you were right in front of it or on ice, the player would suddenly be transported to the "Bonehemoth" biome with Robinson and Balliver as NPCs that spawn where the player first spawns

OK! HI ANON!

Most of this stuff will be covered in the post. I will try to answer some of your questions and clarify some things here, though.

For now, cleaning and reviving are separate. So you have a cleaning table and your tools (all need to be crafted, the upgraded versions of the tools must be crafted separately and with rarer resources). You clean the fossil with the table, the fossil goes back into your inventory, and you take the fossil to either be revived or integrated. The revival machine can also be crafted. I don't want players to be forced to rely on KL-33N for all of that, especially since he'd have set spawns in certain structures that you may not easily come across, and the sooner you can get to cleaning and reviving, the better.

Rogue vivosaurs will exist. They are scary, and hate you specifically.

Wild fighters exist, but they likely won't show up to fight you over every fossil. I imagine it would be very awkward and likely impossible trying to fossil battle in a tiny ass tunnel you dug out deep underground looking for fossils and ores. Fighters likely would spawn on the surface or in large enough caves. They might have their own ranks displayed above their heads so you know how strong their vivosaurs will be if you challenge them.

You would throw medals, and if you aren't aiming for something to fight, your vivosaur will come out and you can interact with it! If the vivosaur is large enough, it will even be rideable, no saddle necessary (and of course playing a jukebox will cause it to dance). Also if you happen to throw a medal into the void on accident it will automatically be returned to you.

I agree that cities and towns you find in the games can spawn. They'll only spawn in certain biomes, and they're probably on the rarer side. Example: Cranial City would only spawn in deserts and badlands, and not every desert or badlands you find will have Cranial City.

Zongazonga will have his own thing don't worry. He is like, the main big boss and he will affect your world in certain ways once he's spawned in.

Fossil digging sites could be cool, especially abandoned ones that are guarded by powerful rogues. There would likely be rarer fossils in these abandoned dig sites, and if you can defeat the rogues, they're all yours.

The Bonehemoth could be a mob that spawns in deeper parts of the ocean or in frozen oceans (VERY RARE SPAWN), and like you said, if you're too close to its mouth there's a chance it can teleport you to a special structure that will be it's insides. All the fossils you can find in here will be the same as the game, and you can fight both tonzilla and Robinson too.

#ask #zesty's ramblings #this post is gonna be sooo loonnggg lmao #to anyone who reads this: feel free to add on suggestions because I would really like to hear them

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the7thcrow · 2 years

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ok coming into ur ask box this time so we dont have to be confined to the comment limit LOL and dont apologise for rambling i Wanted to pick your brain abt this!! sdhfgjksdfk i see… misbelief about the world driving the plot forward rather than their own motivation, that actually Is a very common plot device in y/n fic now that i think abt it. whenever i try to make my mcs Intentionally vague, it's usually their appearance, or anything regarding their gender. like now that i think abt it i dont think ive ever even tried writing an mc that is vague as a character itself? bc to me, a vague character, a "blank slate", is still a character, just one that lacks any life to it. like, among the writers i like interacting with on here and typically enjoy reading most, the general consensus seems to be that most dont actually read y/n as themselves and see them as more of a vague oc anyway, even as a reader, as they don't actually have any interest in inserting Themselves into a story in the very self-inserty, projecting way y/n fic is known for, and thats why they prefer a really fleshed-out mc.

personally, as a reader i seem to be the niche in between where i Do like projecting myself into the story as a character, but i Don't like blank slate mcs - because theres nothing to project On. i project onto self-insert characters the same way i project onto fully-fleshed characters in regular media, or hell, the same way i sometimes project onto an idol's image themselves. a reader insert being in second person just kinda helps enable the projection, and of course im gonna feel More seen by projecting onto characters that are More similar to me whether that be in gender/pronouns/appearance/personality/etc, but like... i dont go into it expecting to see the Entirety of Myself, written by someone else. i go into expecting to see someone else, in their wholeness as a character, and have them written compellingly enough that i can slot myself over them because even if i wouldnt do things the same way they would, i can still understand them and get in their head enough to "be" them for a while, in a way? like, even if i dont Personally relate to them, if theyre written well enough i can relate to how theyre feeling. kind of. i dont know if this makes any sense. i guess i just like feeling like a part of the story as a reader rather than Watching a story happen, kind of like playing a story-based video game with a preset ending - i get to play out the story as if im a part of it, and im gonna enjoy it even more if the character im playing as is similar to me, but even if theyre not, it still feels like im them for the duration of that story. and playing as a character that has no lines or backstory just isnt Nearly as compelling as playing as a character with a motive. yk? like with video games a blank protag is more forgiving bc you can create your own, but thats what fic is for. thats intentional. but you dont write fic of fic to fill in the blanks like that, so those blanks needa be filled already, imo.

as a writer i like the focus to be on the relationship dynamic the reader has with any of the given love interests, and i don't know how to create a relationship dynamic between two characters when only one character has a defined personality. bc the first question i ask myself is "what are these two characters like together? how do they play off each other/whats their interactions like?" so at this point im like ok x is a snark and y is a sunshine so x teases a lot and y just eats that shit up and gives contrastingly wholesome responses. or something like that. just for a vague idea of what they look like interacting. n then when i start working on the actual Plot, the question is "what made them fall in love with each other?" and This is what i base the entirety of the plot around. i pinpoint the specific traits that theyd like in one another, then i craft the perfect situations for them to experience those traits and fall in love with them. to do that, i need traits for the love interest to fall in love with, and i need a criteria for what the mc will be looking for in the love interest, and such a criteria comes from personality. theyre such closely intertwined concepts to me that i cant separate one from the other, hence why my mc's are all closer to faceless, nameless oc's than a blank slate. the only thing making me hesitate from following melty's lead and straying directly into named oc 2nd person fiction is the fact that i as a reader do like inserting my own name as y/n lmfao on my pc i even have a browser extension that does it for me. but i can use that same extension to change an oc's name in someone elses story so its not a big deal to me as a reader, but i just wonder if there are readers similar to me but that would be thrown off by having a different name instead.

this is really long and rambly unprompted so i apologise SKDFJGSKDFK but ive been itching to get my thoughts out on the matter with all this talk abt how we approach writing mcs. i didn't realise how many longfic writers put so much effort into writing a character so intentionally vague for the purpose of making someone that "could be anybody." but then again, considering im personally alienated from 95% of the fic i read just as a non-woman polyamorous person (among so many other factors), i guess other readers are a lot more used to actually being able to see a perfect carbon copy of themselves in self inserts without having to squint too hard at the lines. huh. wonder what thats like. SKDFGJSDFKGKDF

adding the break as to not horribly flood the dash

i really like what you said about feeling like a part of the story rather than watching it. i’ve been extremely negative all night about this, but at the end of day, i obviously enjoy 2nd person pov. i would hope so, after the shit-ton i’ve read and written, and continue to read and write about it. there is something nice about stepping into the story and experiencing something in such a different way. i enjoy it as a reader, it’s a different kind of experience. it’s really neat.

to be clear, i don’t think i write a total blank-slate. like, to give myself a bit of credit i think all my mc’s have a personality for sure. relationship dynamics with people surrounding them, definitely. they’re usually headstrong and maybe a bit cocky, bc that’s what i like to read and frankly, am generally like LMAO. i by no means take out lines or subject matter bc it could be too much unlike someone reading it. but idk, i feel less inclined to spend as much time as i should creating a completely fleshed out character when i don’t even have an image for them in my head, and majority of readers are going to imagine that it’s themselves anyway (which frankly, as they should, it’s literally called reader-insert). it’s definitely not an everyone problem. like from what you said it definitely seems like reader-insert has helped you develop characters and dive into them, but i just don’t think it works the same way for me.

i’ve been thinking a lot about character building lately. fanfiction itself is one of the most helpful tools and greatest liabilities for character building. on the one-hand, you learn to bring an idea to life. you learn how to really embody a character or person, especially in rpf where you sorta can do whatever you want with no canon, but everyone has a sort of idea or interpretation anyway. but it also relies on the fact that your audience already loves the characters you are using, instead of you having to start from scratch to make them love them.

maybe that’s why my original oc’s feel flat in my personal writings. when people read “y/n” obviously they already care about them bc well, to a lot of people it is them. which is the literal point of reader insert, so i think it would be extremely stupid to discourage that. but for me it feels a bit limiting.

speaking of which, there’s this idea of “y/n” and god… GOD do i hate it.😭not reading wise, bc i understand the appeal and literally throw my name in there and have since i was a pre-teen, but writing wise. i stopped using y/n in my fics as a name holder bc i didn’t like it in there anymore and i couldn’t place why for a while, but i think it’s bc when people call my mc “y/n” it’s just like… in the end that’s all she is. i can put as much planning and shit into this character but she’s not really a character, she feels like a placeholder. at least when we refer to her as mc it’s like, she’s her own thing. she is the main character™️ but when people are like, i love your “y/n”! it’s like she’s compared on this scale of reader-inserts compared to an actual breathing complicated protagonist. it’s hard to explain and i think i’m doing a horrible job, but that’s how i feel about it.

you’re also someone who like, does not do this whatsoever, and comments and discusses the mc as an actual character which i really appreciate. bc you do also write, and i think you share perspective on that even if also inserting yourself into the story. i sorta do both too. you get it. i think this is in a lot of ways a me issue more than a collective issue, which is why it probably sounds a bit messy and maybe just incorrect lmao. but idk, the bottom line of what i’m feeling is if i really want to work on protagonist building and that’s my number one priority that i need to improve upon, why would i do it a genre where a lot of readers (and thus those giving the feedback that i try and use to improve upon) are going to often judge the mc solely on the level of relatability, imagine that it is them and thus view it as such rather than an actual character, i can’t (and shouldn’t) flesh out mannerisms / appearance, and overall just causes an extra level of struggle compared to a third person character that i can fully embody with none of these limits.

especially if i’m starting to realize how much i really like writing in third, it just seems like that is what’s probably the right path for me as a writer. i’m still going to write natgig because i love it and it allows me to do a mixture of all these things, i’m still going to write reader-insert. but if i’m working on individual character building and embodiment revolving around the protagonist, i think a necessary step for me is to redirect a lot of my energy into writing some third-person non reader-insert pov.

#i hope this makes some coherent sense #it’s 5am so it very well may not😭#asks #mutual pals🕺🏼#sorikkung

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toerrishumansodontbeone · 9 months

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Everywhere else seems too shameful to share(though I did anyway) & elaborate on, because those places are full of legitimate knowledgeable pros/artists, but uhhhh,

so I think I want to become a tattoo artist?

But seeing as I am the person that I am, living in the place that I am, knowing the language as badly as I do and having the anxiety that I do that makes it appear even more basic, I don't think I really can go the traditional route of studio apprenticeships.

And the loud majority of studio tattooers will of course tell you to never ever how even dare you try to do ANY tattooing on your own!!!! To the point of actively discouraging even buying a machine at all, even just for practice skins. Just draw a lot and go spend 1-3 years in an unpaid grueling apprenticeship where maybe they'll let u do something in a year or so uwu (tho there are also ppl fighting the gatekeeping) ( n some apprentices Ive seen whove started doing serious practice within a few months)

But yea so,,, thats why tbh it feels embarrassing to even mention me wanting to, even though on the other hand thats also.... the way to put any sort of attention on you, to garner interest from prospective mentors and amass future clients....... but also god its nerve wrecking thinking some local pro is looking at my stuff with disdain and mockery.

It just sucks how much language is a barrier for me. I'm not confident enough to just barge in talking in english even if they prob know the language fine enough.

Ontop of that its kinda sad I had all this sustained motivation for several days in a row but then I made the mistake of posting some little designs online. Because I was excited about it I of course expected excitement back. A response! A showering of praise and acceptance!

But the need for social validation is a poisonous pit and it never gives back quite what you give it. I knew it would not give me the validation and would ruin things and make me doubt myself and still I was hopeful and wanted it to be different and maybe a little bit more like the old times,,,

Its so hard to keep up my own confidence, as essential as it is to human psychology. I cant even create those little wins to sustain any real growth in myself. I just keep regressing and becoming worse. Im a hermit but one that doesnt even have any real community to turn to even online..........ughhhhhhh.

This is a very unstructured ramble, but its felt so fruitless having all these thoughts clogging my brain and nobody to talk to about them.

I dont know. Now I suddenly got back into writing and making more significant progress on my story/possibly novella.

and inbetween I thought more and more of how tattoo artist is the antithesis of me. I cannot pull my own clients, I cannot talk to people and make them want to keep coming back for my company, I could not do the receptionist duties for an apprenticeship, I do not even have an appropriate space to tattoo if it ever came to that AND renting even v small offices is stupid expensive at first glance. So I could not start doing that without already having a steady stream of clients.

Tattooing feels like a level of responsibility I could handle, it feels like it would be an interesting new craft to explore, w techniques to master, a different kind of self expression........ but thats all idyllic theory. No career path really fits me and it comes back down again to me being so unable to change my social ineptitude. Its such a waste how I had some modicum of comfort and progress in that sphere my last few years in Latvia,, and it fell apart just because it was so unsustainable financially......... N now that Ive been comfortably settled for a while in austria, just being financially stable and comfortable isnt enough...

Insanely Ive been wondering if the economy has evened out some in LV that I could come back.......but theres no way I would even physically *survive* through some unpaid apprenticeship there.....

#uhhhhhh #im in a whining mood lately #this is very incoherent #anyway everything sucks wish I could be less self aware and keep the train rolling #until it landed against an actual obstacle and not jsut the idea of one #vermin chat

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canarydarity · 1 year

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Hiya!! First of all I LOVE the AU concept you posted, I am completely obsessed with takes on the Jimmy curse and that sounds Amazing, the concept of him experiencing sensory clues as to a terrible thing about to happen??? So freakin cool, I can't wait to see where it goes!! Secondly! Some writers asks for you!

🧠Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them- Gotta go with Mr. Tongo Tak himself, I'd love to know if you have any personal headcanons for him!!

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to? - I love hearing what themes people find in their work! Hope you're having a lovely timezone!

Hello!!!! THANK YOU :) !! I am so so pleased people are finding it interesting,,,its been cooking in my brain for a while. I'm glad that its been put somewhere now where other people can interact with it too <33

🧠Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them- Gotta go with Mr. Tongo Tak himself, I'd love to know if you have any personal headcanons for him!!

oh, you mean the love of my life? absolutely, I would love nothing more

Tango, mr. redstone guy, professional tinkerer. The guys good with his hands! You know those dads that take it upon themselves to do home repairs or improvement using whatever they have laying around rather than pay someone else to do it? Tango's a bit like that—nothing in the ranch ends up made out of what it should be made out of but it works and so who can complain. If Jimmy leaves anything just sitting out for too long there is a good chance it is going to be stolen in the name of tinkering and used in some sort invention. But I love...taking this further and saying this skill with his hands translates into things like crafting. So, Jimmys the animal expert on the ranch, right? I imagine Tangos the go-to for things like...sewing and mending clothes and blankets.

I went to a museum recently and it had these cow horns that had maps carved into them, and ever since I've also been super attached to the idea of Tango carving things in his and Jimmy's horns,,,, little reminders or comments like don't forget to latch the gate on the cow pen, again! or looking good today, handsome :) That is absolutely a favorite of mine !!

(and one more, a few months ago a whole bunch of fanartists kept drawing different folks as various bugs and insects and I became obsessed for an entire week with the idea of Tango as a firefly. I learned so much about fireflies and had so many thoughts he just,,, <3)

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to? - I love hearing what themes people find in their work!

Oh man...metaphors around or relating to water. Doesn't even have to be water itself it can be tangentially related...boats, lighthouses, etc. I feel like it used to be a lot more common and I'd find myself doing it much more than I have recently...but it used to be such a thing. It's definitely some places in my life series fic though if ya look,,,

Thematically, however, looking back through fics and wips now,,,,lotta fate vs agency, free-will, sense of control kinda stuff. Charting your own course vs letting the wind steer you, ya know? Those are absolutely things I find myself writing about often, whether its a major point or some small musing,,,(probably says something about why im so attached to team rancher. lets not read into any of this <3)

#thank you for asking :)))#!!!#ask game

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scamoosh · 2 years

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oh PLEASE tell me about the persona 5 megamind au

everyone who sends me asks abt the nonsense i post abt ....... i have feelings 4 u

OKAY SO its a bit unorganized bc i never rlly sat down and worked out the details, its mostly just 4 fun bc i like the movie and i thought itd b funny LOL

-obviously goro akechi is megamind.,,, tho instead of being blue he is just goro akechi (maybe w loki's horns or smth to make him look more alien) and when hes disguised as 'bernard' he just looks like his disguise from the jazz club where u ruffle up his hair n put glasses on him LOL. also he still uses the name bernard bc i think thats funny

-akira is roxanne :3c ambitious reporter who v much enjoys the banter between them every time he gets kidnapped hehe and is sooo enamored w bernard bc hes the only other person who seems so invested in the cruel detective prince despite his Villainous Tendencies

-ryuji is hal (ryuji baby im so sorry) but not in like a 'nice guy' kinda way just in that hes the lazy bro whos always hangin around akira.,, but i love ryuji so rather than going mad w power after getting rejected like some kind of dweeb its more of a persona 4 situation where his concern for akiras safety and his jealousy of he and goros (or bernards as far he knows) relationship - it all combines and his shadow self takes over, so instead of being consciously a douche he is just consumed by forces beyond his control 😔😔 and obv snaps out of it after they beat his ass LOL

-souji is metro man lmaoo i think it fits that hed b like a role model n an inspiration to the p5 characters but also opt out of the fighting b4 it can consume him and become his entire life bc soujis character already struggles w feeling like hes living his entire life for other ppl and not for himself :/

-im not entirely sure abt minion.,, i feel like sumire fits better but i didnt play royal n havent watched the entire playthrough so idk her that well ..,, so in my heart minion is ann <33 i rlly like the hc that goro and ann are friends Anyway n i feel like the petty catty megamind/minion dynamic suits them well hehehe

so basically the gist of it is that akira is repeatedly kidnapped by Villainous Detective Prince Goro Akechi and rescued every time by local hunk and hero souji seta, who fakes his own death to get out of the public eye. in the aftermath of that akechi takes over the city but quickly grows bored w the lack of challenge.,, he and his assistant ann decide that ryuji (while kind of boneheaded) has potential to b strong and should b crafted into his New Rival !! but that backfires, as trying to motivate him through the promise of earning akiras interest only drives his jealousy to the point of being all consuming (this is when his shadow self takes the reigns).

akechi accidentally bumps into akira just like in the movie where he panics and disguises himself ( tho i think rather than freezedrying some poor dude its a magic thing idk bc i think its funny if that why his disguise sucks so hard its just bc he was flustered and in a hurry not to b caught so all he could manage was no horns messier hair big glasses) and akira talks 2 him abt how awful it is that soujis gone and that he never even Disliked akechi in fact hed grown rather fond of him after all their flirty rapport and bernard (akechi) has 2 b like mmhmm yeah that guy sucks. and hes caught between sounding indignant bc his pride is wounded and sounding all too genuine in talking abt how much he hates goro akechi LOL😖

ummm they get closer over time trying 2 pinpoint where akechis Evil Lair might be and then they 100% still have that sad restaurant scene where akechis disguise gets all fucked up (i like to think its bc he got so flustered by being kissed that his brain short circuited and the spell dropped for a sec) and akira does the whole 'wtf why did you lie to me why did u string me along was this all to humiliate me?? or worse was this all genuine to you? did u ever think i could love someone like you??' and walks home in the rain especially sad bc hed confessed that hed had feelings for akechi prior to soujis death so now it just feels like its being thrown back in his face Twice smh

akira still gets snatched up by shadow ryuji and cant do anything abt it but not bc its helpless its bc he doesnt wanna hurt his best friend ): he knows thats not him!!! but tldr goro shows up and ryuji gets bonked around bc akira comes 2 goros aid just 2 subdue him not 2 actually injure him! and then he comes back 2 himself and is so sorry and its ok they r besties again :) and goro and akira kiss on the mouth maybe

#sorry this is long as hell for the stupidest thing ajfnabdjadbsnfk #thank u that is all #persona 5

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dearest-kibble · 4 years

Note

yan kenma who has you locked up in his apartment- it’s been some time and you’ve given up escaping but you know he live-streams so you kind of start living small clues that you’re there in hope someone will figure it out? but instead of a viewer kenma finds out; and instead of stopping you he just decides to taunt you and play along to the point his viewers make it an inside joke- the emotional rollercoaster that would be? he wouldn’t have to punish you- the crushing despair is enough alone

This is so deliciously fucked up I love it,,, thank you anon, Kenma hits so different. I love him thank you so so so much. i am working on so much,,, thank you for being patient with all my uhhh lateness? this kinda became something a little different than the prompt but hopefully thats good?

Kenma Kozume x Fem reader

tw: Typical yandere-ness, humiliation? Sexism? Mentioned stalking, (If im missing anything please let me know my brain isn’t functioning rn)

You’re sitting on his lap, camera angled so that no one’s view is obstructed by your body, but so that all his views can clearly see you. You’ve been here so long, any hope of leaving, ironically, has left you. But, the thought crept slowly, surely, deeply into your brain and hasn’t left. You turn around on Kenma’s lap, straddling him and you’re sure the live chat is going a little crazy at the thought of Kodzuken having someone in his lap while he streams and he’s probably going to tell you to get off soon, but you’ve got the chat’s attention, and you are going to work with it. You tap Kenma’s cheeks, slight squish on them and you know he hates that it’s on camera all the same, you drum three fingers on his cheek, smiling at him for the camera as your fingertips meet his clammy skin. He doesn’t tell you to stop so across his cheek you swipe your thumb three times as tenderly as possible. As you stand from his lap, you pat his cheeks, three times delicately. You look into his eyes, still as calculating as when you met him, a deceptively warm amber with the tiniest hint of frustration (and somewhere inside, you know it’s probably with you but you can’t care.)

“I’m gonna sit on the couch, ‘kay?” You call softly, hoping you were subtle enough with your plea.

“Oh, okay,” And you think you’re free before he calls a “Wait! Come back for a little.” You’re even halfway to the couch before the words rope you back in. He beckons you to lean down, and whispers into your ear. “I noticed you trying to sign to get out. Morse code isn’t as subtle as you think, you might as well just ask them to get you out,” You chance a quick look towards chat.

“Was that morse code?”

“Holy shit! Yeah, I think that was SOS.”

“You think they actually need to get out or it’s one of those ‘my bfs terrible’ jokes?”

“You see the way they were straddling? Def not a hate my bf sorta thing.”

“See?” He’s still whispering into your ear, game forgotten in lieu of what might be called humiliation. “They won’t believe you because you want to be here. Regardless of what you say, you would’ve left already if you didn’t.” He smiles at you and affectionately pats your head. Like he’d pet a cat. The idea is still in your mind, though perhaps a little shallower. You glance at the chat once more, someone is still talking about it, but Kenma pushes you away with a “I’ll get you when I’m done, okay?” You end your night on the couch with Kenma. He smiles at you and puts your legs on his lap.

The next livestream is two days after the last one. You have something planned once more, hopefully more effective.

“I’m playing minecraft today, I could set up your computer, and we could play together?” His small smile is back. And though a kind gesture, all you can think about is how easily you could make a point.

“Okay!” The earlier plan is immediately forgotten, and thoughts of what you could do in a game, fills your mind. “Will I have a mic?”

“No, I can’t have you telling them can I?” And it clicks, because of course he’d taunt you. But it’s like your brain grew claws that cannot lose their hold.

“Will I have a camera?” And you know the answer, but Kenma might still surprise you. You’ve already had one shock tonight, maybe you’ll get another.

“No. Sorry. You have chat though.” He pats your head again, ruffling your hair. “I’ve already got you set up, c’mon.” He tugs at your hand, pulling gently.

“Thanks Kenma.” He’s put another computer across from his desk on a much smaller table made for playing cards.

“You’re all set up.”

“Yeah.” He clicks the mouse a few times, waves at the camera to his right. “Can everybody hear me?” He waits a few seconds for chat’s response. “Chat is saying yes, so let’s get right in?” He smiles sheepishly to his camera.

“Hi everyone, I’ m Kodzuken and today we are,” He pauses to look at you with honeyed amber eyes. “Playing Minecraft with my partner.” He nods in your direction. You just open the minecraft tab, the only shortcut that seems to be on the computer.

“It’s a LAN server, click that, okay?” So you click it and say nothing. You start to go through the motions of chopping a tree, making sticks, making a crafting table. Kennma is narrating what he does, and you’re not even sure where he is in game until you're knocked back and turn your mouse to look at him.

“Yeah, I know - she should be relying on me.” He’s responding to something in chat, he’s gotta be. You type a quick,

“What’re they saying?”

“Oh, that my girlfriend shouldn’t be so independent, you rely on me - I'm your boyfriend.” Kenma says it so casually, so acerbically that you immediately take off sprinting from the forest in game.

“She has these bouts - you saw them last stream - where she likes to try and ‘get away’.” Kenma laughs softly; little glockenspiel notes falling from his mouth. “It’s a really cute joke honestly! Anyway, I’ll put my minecraft bed next to hers later, right now...” You stop paying attention and start planning how you’d try to get your point across more clearly. You could make signs, say “Get me out!” Like Kenma suggested.

“Hey! He looks over the screen at you, piercing eyes staring right through you. “Don’t go off on your own, we’re staying together alright?”

“No.” He’ll have to deal with chatting, possibly hearing you by himself. And you continue through the coded forest. It goes pretty smoothly, though you’re sure Kenma is trying to find you, you’ve already created a mine for yourself, and made a little sign with instructions that reads: “Get me out!”

“Her voice is quite cute, isn’t it? I’ll get to hear it for the rest of my life.” He continues humming out yes’s and no’s to his audience that sit captivated in a land of blocks and pixels.

“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom, is it alright if my girlfriend takes over for me?” He stands, and waves you over into his chair that’s been made for gaming and padded with red accents. He watches you with his cat-like eyes as you sit down and pats your head. “I’ll be right back Kitty, behave.” And you hear his soft footsteps get farther away and the creak of the door twice before you finally look at chat.

Woa, Kudzu got lucky huh?

“Please,” You don’t sound nearly as someone might think you would. You’ve been here too long. “Get me out of here?”

Sure sweetheart, just come over to my place first.

“Just - get me away from him please!”

Girls are so whiny huh?

Hey man, its funny at least amiright?

“It’s not a joke -”

She’s really committed to this bit huh

Damn iim staartin to feel bad for ken

Me to :(

“I’ve been here for year and I don’t want to-”

Wow. what an ungrateful bitch.

Ikr? She’s got a bf and everything and she wants to get out?

“No- it’s not like that - he stalked me for months I-” And the familiar desperation you thought hoped beyond all hope that you had lost bleeds back into your voice all repression surfaces like the tide in your eyes.

Oh fuxxx we made her cry.

relax bet she’s just on her period or smth

“I am not!” A bubble of snot pops from your nose and mucus drips uncomfortably to your lips. “I just-”

What could you want that you don’t have.

“My house! My job! My friends!” And your voice breaks

She wants to go back to a job?

Crazy lady huh.

She wants friends when all she really needs is a man? smh.

“Kitten, what-”

“Leave me the fuck alone!” It’s an outburst that you’ll regret later, for one reason or another. But for now it’s a small comfort to speak your mind. With your voice wavering and congested, you choke out a “Let me go home.” Kenma’s eyebrows furrow but his eyes are still the calculating, cold amber they always are.

“Shh shh, it’s okay.” Instead of the quick pats he’s so fond of, he strokes your hair and massages the nape of your neck like he’s picking up a kitten who's gotten into a fight. “I’m going to cut the stream, okay?”

Who’d want to leave Ken, he’s cutting the stream short to help his gf.

…….yeah

I feel bad.

“You should. Please don’t make her cry.” A few clicks later and the stream cuts. “Do you want me to upload that one?” To get your message out? You’d do anything.

“Yes please…” Someone will have to see it. How miserable you are.

“Then it’ll go up, okay?” He pats your back twice, and he stands again to sit at the computer. Out of the blue he speaks again. “They’re right.” No no no no no. “I’m lucky, i’m so glad you're here with me and that you won’t leave.”

“I will get out!” The proof of your white hot anger is breaking the dam built in your throat.

“Where will you go? Your friends don’t know where you’ve gone, they won’t be happy with you coming back unannounced.”

“My parents-”

“You can rely on me, you don’t need anyone else.”

“But I-”

“Shhh kitty, you’re overreacting let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a stressful day.” And so he walks you back to the room you share that's covered in pictures, and he tucks you under the covers and dries your tears with a blanket. He whispers words to you, faint little nothings about games he’s going to play that you’ll enjoy watching and little bits of trivia about what “Kuroo” is up to. Eventually you fall asleep, with his hand in your hair and a chair pulled up close so he can stare. You both know it but no one will admit, some part of him will always enjoy how you lose hope so quickly.

once again! This should not’ve taken so long,,,, and it kinda deviates from request but! there we are! also,,,, you can’t tell me that like,,,,,,, kenma hasn’t been at least exposed to incels and or like,,,, really sexist guys he streams on twitch or youtube or something so- also thank you anon,,, i really like this one

#yandere x reader #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu kenma #kenma kozume #yandere kenma #yandere kenma x reader #hq kenma #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #tw sexism

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unironicduncanstan · 3 years

Text

the “Tangodeltaindia” blog explained,

aka my brain has cringe spots on it and needs to be inspected by the FDA

hi my names randi/uni and i created a total drama island themed ARG two months ago on a whim that almost no one interacted with bc i started off way too niche and difficult, so i kinda just went increasingly off the rails because i knew most likely no one was monitoring my posts and i could just make a real cursed hidden tomb that could one day be discovered by someone in a goonies esque unveiling. but then i got lice and now im sad and uncomfortable so i’m just gonna explain the entire damn thing in one shot. its absolutely batshit and theres a reason no one uncovered it ok here we go;;;

first of all the name. its so stupid but. ‘tango delta india’ = ‘tdi’ in the NATO phonetic alphabet. it just felt like a funny place to start that implies its gonna be a puzzle blog idk,

moving on to the actual content tho; some of the earlier posts mean p much nothing and were just an attempt to draw people in, such as the mr coconut ‘like if you agree’ or the ‘let him inside hes cold’ posts.

then theres the cipher (x). it was posted shortly after the height of the ‘using total drama reference pictures to make an alphabet’ meme. in case anybody didnt see that; for a while it was a joke in the fandom to take the transparent references of total drama characters, and line them up, using them like hieroglyphics to make translatable pictures. its supposed to correspond to the alphabet, based on the first letter of their first name. an example could be, alejandro = a, bridgette = b, and so on. there was no solidly set alphabet amongst the fandom though, it was self explanatory most of the time so i made my own solid personal cipher key for that blog to make the whole thing easier.

NOW ONTO THE FIRST PUZZLE POST,,,, (x). theres a scene, a string of text, the cipher key, and a link to a decoder. the way to decode it all is to plug the characters on screen into the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and then plug That translation into the decoder website, and then finally paste in the text under the photo.

the website linked is to a Caesar cipher decoder. the Caesar cipher is just a code where the alphabet is assigned to numbers (a=1, z=26), and to encode something with it you can move this pattern however you want as long as you keep the regular sequence of alphabet and numbers. so you could scootch over One letter, and “abc” would now say “bcd”. so on and so forth.

looking at the scene + my own total drama reference cipher, alejandro = A, and the beaver = 1, which gives A1. so you could now follow the link to the website, press ‘decode’, and paste in the text under the picture. the ‘shift’ in the middle is automatically set to ‘7′, or as it shows, a -> h, meaning ‘a’ has been moved over by 7 letters. so if you set the shift to just 1 over, or A1, now you can translate the text. it reads;

“lets start simple. after all, a trail of breadcrumbs begins with a loaf. whats the harm in another long winded fandom meme. another inside joke. and arent you curious whats truly lurking inside?”

edgy! simple! kinda just a test to see if people would do it or not. which they didnt so of course i tried to make it weirder-

puzzle 2; (x) using the exact same translation rules as above. we have alejandro and the snake, which with the tangodeltaindia cipher key means A6. going to the website, putting it in ‘decode’ mode, pasting in your text, and setting the shift to ‘6′ gives you this translation.

“in his eyes are an island. nothing but a dream, born out of going to bed angry. sink or swim.”

this was just hinting around at where the story was gonna go so it’ll make more sense later. something else to note; if you zoom all the way in and look into alejandros eye (’in his eyes’), you’ll see the word ‘Thera’. ~thats a surprise tool that will help us later~

so after this one, there are two non-puzzle posts that are also just hints (i was just tryna see if i could get people hyped), the first is a close up picture of chris with red eyes that simply says “those arent his eyes”, and then a post that says “his real names not chris :)”, they’re again referencing his eyes, and this time further implying theres something fake or wrong about them, or with chris as a person. again, it’ll be explained better later on.

moving on to puzzle 3 (x), another test to see if anyones keeping up (which also failed josdfjsdfkjs), using the same translation rules, dj = a dash or minus, and the snail = 5, “-5″, shift the letter ‘A’ BACK five instead of forward, and you get the simple translation of; “getting harder now.”

puzzle 4 and 5; at this point, there are two images posted within hours of each other that i’ll explain together as they line up. (x) (x)

These are some of the only ones that can be translated from just the tangodeltaindia key directly. They end up a string of numbers, which are latitude and longitude coordinates. The first post, labelled “the lie”, translates into “45.57394802102744, -81.46817207492494″. googling that will take you to maps and show you to a place called Lonely Island in Canada.

The second one, “the truth”, translates into “36.404663113177534, 25.39605673375295″, taking you to Santorini, Greece.

This is where the hints got really out there bc i realized nobody was following along but i still wanted to paint a picture. so this is the set up;;; the idea that the ‘island’ (camp wawanakwa) existing somewhere in canada, is a lie. the ‘true’ location being santorini isnt meant to be taken at face value though. the mythology behind santorini is that a man impregnated a goddess and to escape the wrath of her father (triton), she formed the island (santorini) by having her lover throw clay into the sea, and then she gave birth to her son, Theras, on this island, giving the island it’s Other nickname, Thera.

this is again just a vague implication that the island might not be real at all, or that it was formed through cosmic means.

the next two posts are more non-puzzle hints, the first showing the definition of the word ‘fresh’ (new), and the second being images of total drama backgrounds with no characters and the text reading “they were always empty.” more, admittedly very outlandish implications that the island is some kind of illusion, but again mostly just another try to drag people into the blog.

puzzle 6. (x) this one introduces a new concept to the regular translation rules, some of the characters are laying down. its kinda supposed to imply they’re “dead” and that you need to take their corresponding letters out of the alphabet given on the Caesar cipher page, below the shift. The upright characters translate to “-9″, so you shift ‘A’ back 9 letters. Then remove the letters; “TH-E-R-A-S”, and with those letters taken out, you can finally translate the text.

“he creates life solely to destroy it. to crush it in his hands. he births chaos so that he may have something to control. the power has given him madness. the isolation, arrogance. don't try to stop him, he's already chosen to be unstoppable. his mind is a perfectly crafted prison, one we will all soon be living in.”

this is where the story gets more on the nose. it’s talking about chris, and about him being an unstoppable cosmic force, a diety who can create worlds within his own mind, and he does so maliciously just for power. hes created the campers through mental energy just to torment them. it also hints that his plan is to expand the world of total drama island and engulf the whole universe.

puzzle 7. (x) same as the last puzzle. beaver and moose translate to ‘1-0′ or ten. the characters lying down to remove from the caesar cipher alphabet are “T-U-L-P-A”. this doesnt have anything to do with the modern way some ppl interact with tulpas but just the actual idea of creating thoughtforms, or willing your thoughts into real life creations, referencing how chris has created the entire island and everyone on it solely through his mind. with those letters removed and the shift set forward 10, you get this:

“his psychic power is unfathomable. the reality he bore was just a passing thought. an idea that became so dangerous. he predates the idea of a mind, the minds own ability to recognize itself, his synapses are paradoxically ancient. the island exists only within himself, to torment the souls hes created, and damned from the start. will they ever be free?”

it states that chris is more than a man or even just a diety, hes an all powerful god already, yet he craves more power. the final line, “will they ever be free” is in reference to the campers, which segways into the next arc;;; freeing the campers from chris’ psychic island imprisonment.

puzzle 8. (x) to solve this one you have to translate the top image with the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and add it to the text given, which creates a link. this leads to a PDF, a page from a book written by terence mckenna. he’s a famous ethnobotanist known best for his studies on DMT, the strongest hallucinogenic drug in the world, its also known as the spirit molecule. many people on this drug (without any prior knowledge of this phenomenon) will recount meeting strange fractal beings that can create things in the universe just by speaking them into existence, theyve come to be known as ‘machine elves’, a term coined by mckenna. ill show the most important excerpt from the page;

this is less about the psychedelic drug part and more about the words and ideas, like “punching a hole through a dimension so it pours through” and “if god didnt exist man would invent him”. its more worldbuilding towards chris’ power and cosmic abilities

then come 2 more clues. a picture of chris holding his own body captioned ‘ego death’, and the meaning behind the name ‘chris mcclean’. the latter is another “please look over here” post, but the first is another minor reference to the previous puzzles answer involving DMT and terence mckenna. ‘ego death’ is a term again used with strong psychedelic drugs, its the sensation that your spirit as you know it is literally Dying, and you are instead connected to and a part of everything around you. another reference to chris’ power and how he may look like a man but his body and spirit are connected to the world hes built in unfathomable ways. at this point im cementing the idea that chris mclean is not a mortal man and cannot be fought with mortal weapons

puzzle 9. (x) this one was an attempt to make easier to solve puzzles, and comes with a visual of chris looming over the island. the text is in wingdings, which can be translated through multiple websites found through google. it says;

“s︎o︎o︎n︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ s︎l︎e︎e︎p.︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ d︎r︎e︎a︎m︎ a︎ n︎e︎w︎ h︎e︎l︎l︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ b︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎ o︎n︎l︎y︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎,︎ t︎o︎ s︎a︎v︎e︎ h︎i︎s︎ c︎r︎e︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎s︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎ t︎h︎o︎s︎e︎ w︎h︎o︎ w︎e︎r︎e︎ n︎e︎v︎e︎r︎ d︎e︎s︎i︎g︎n︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ b︎e︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎.︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ c︎o︎m︎e︎ a︎t︎ a︎ c︎o︎s︎t︎.︎ t︎h︎e︎ n︎i︎g︎h︎t︎m︎a︎r︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎,︎ t︎h︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎o︎b︎o︎r︎o︎s︎ o︎f︎ h︎i︎s︎ s︎y︎n︎c︎o︎pe︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ c︎l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ i︎t︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎u︎r︎n︎ o︎u︎r︎ e︎f︎f︎o︎r︎t︎s︎ o︎f︎ s︎a︎l︎v︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ t︎o︎ d︎u︎s︎t︎.︎ o︎u︎r︎ f︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ m︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎ i︎n︎ s︎a︎c︎r︎i︎f︎i︎c︎e︎,︎ r︎e︎n︎d︎e︎r︎i︎n︎g︎ h︎i︎s︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ i︎n︎v︎e︎n︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ b︎u︎t︎ a︎ c︎e︎a︎s︎e︎l︎e︎s︎s︎ v︎o︎i︎d︎.︎ w︎e︎ m︎a︎y︎ s︎e︎e︎ h︎o︎r︎r︎o︎r︎s︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ c︎a︎u︎s︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎t︎a︎r︎s︎ t︎o︎ s︎h︎u︎d︎d︎e︎r︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ w︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ t︎a︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎.︎ w︎e︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎o︎ l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ a︎ w︎o︎r︎l︎d︎ o︎f︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎n︎e︎s︎s︎ t︎o︎ e︎n︎d︎.︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎e︎a︎ s︎w︎a︎l︎l︎o︎w︎ u︎p h︎i︎s︎ i︎s︎l︎a︎n︎d︎ o︎f︎ l︎i︎e︎s︎.︎ g︎o︎d︎ pr︎o︎t︎e︎c︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎.︎”

this is essentially saying that the island, the campers, werent all just created from his mind, but from his dreams. this confirms that he Sleeps, and claims hes going to sleep again soon, and during that time period theres a chance to kill him before he can dream up another world (or season) to control and torment. its also saying that theres a chance killing him will destroy the island and campers, but that its the only choice we would have to end the cycle. hey guys i am so bored and over the years i have been on every stimulant and anti depressant doctors are legally allowed to prescribe and its still just not quite there yet huh

puzzle 10. (x) the video, the title translates to “the island of his eye”. its just meant to encapsulate everything ive already been hinting around at but with real footage and some audios taken from the show, and again, it was me tryna make some lore that was easy to digest and also terrifying to an audience with no other context. the final images are the only new clues, if you pause fast enough you can barely make out the characters that (paired with the tangodeltaindia cipher key) would say “set them free”, and you can also see an aerial view of what is actually called “the eye of argentina”. it is a real island that rotates atop a swamp, it is geometrically perfect and no one really knows for sure why it rotates the way it does or how it was formed. this clue is simply related back to the idea that the island of wawanakwa’s location is not in canada, and that it does not function like a normal island.

puzzle 11. (x) what td blog is complete without a uquiz? anyways, it doesnt matter how you answer the quiz, theres only one possible result. the title is a link to a mega file, which is protected with a decryption key. the image attached to the result, when deciphered, is the randomly generated key to the unlock the file. the image you see from the file is this; (TW for mentions of self harm and eye trauma)

in case this is too hard to read ill transcribe what it says;

“How to escape the dream - accept that there is no dream to escape, and no you to escape it. - believe in it anyways. - sleep on your back. - cover your eyes. - hide a nail under the pillow. - wait for the ringing. - when you first see him, dont call his name. dont speak. - keep your eyes shut. - on the second night, ask where the camp is. he wont respond verbally. - on the third night, you’ll see his eyes. - on the fourth night, you’ll enter them. - you can’t turn back after the fifth night. - don’t try to hide your fears. he knows them before you arrive. - don’t shut your eyes for too long when it becomes too much. you risk losing them. - find chris mclean. - don’t stop till the nail is through the socket. - repeat on the other side. - repeat on yourself. - congratulations. they are free”

this is, believe it or not, an idea that comes from my very own sleep paralysis experiences. ive dealt with it a lot, so why not make a weird ritual thing for an arg based off it ig. so whenever i’d fall asleep on my back, i’d eventually hear this ringing in my ears (or it’d happen upon waking up), and then the sleep paralysis would begin. i only ‘saw’ stuff a couple times but the fear for me was really more about the overwhelming sensation of pure dread that always came along with it even when i was aware what was happening, and i Always got this feeling too that if i opened my eyes in that moment, something was gonna stab them.

so moving on to how that applies to the arg, the first few lines are about how, obviously, the island is not real, even in the lore being given its a figment of chris’ imagination, but you have to enter it anyways, and the only way to do that is to believe its real. then it tells you how to ‘enter’ that world, (btw i didn’t expect anyone to actually follow these instructions if found, but even if they did, the whole ‘sleep paralysis being caused by sleeping on your back’ thing usually only happens if you’re predisposed to having it and only happens to Some people who have it, so the intent was like. never to bring that upon anybody. but if you are prone to sleep paralysis plz do not attempt even as a joke or anything thx)

the parts about hallucinating chris then are as follows, “ask about the camp / he wont respond verbally” , meaning he will show you through a dream instead, one that might look a lot like the video from before. “on the third night you will see his eyes”, meaning you will see the island but not be able to interact with it, or basically, how we see total drama on tv right now. “on the fourth night you’ll enter (his eyes)” references the island existing ‘within his eyes’, meaning you will enter the actual island. the next night chris will sleep and you will be able to enter the island again and find him. the idea with the nail is that, if you destroy his eyes you destroy the ‘island’ within them. wrapping back around to sleep paralysis, the idea of stabbing yourself with the nail afterwards is because sometimes, the only thing you can move during sleep paralysis is your fingertips and toes, and wiggling those can help bring you out of the paralysis. so at first how i used to wake myself up, but it didnt usually work fast enough so oftentimes id just pinch the shit out of my fingers and use pain to make my muscles start up faster.

the next post is a link to a countdown. again, i knew nobody was rly following at this point, but i wanted a little more build up before just dropping the ending. it was set up to end 5 days after the last post, aka the one that mentioned a 5 night dream ritual.

puzzle 12. (x) going all the way back to the normal multi step translation puzzles. the coloring of the cipher is a bit different, and its missing chris, but its meant to be used the same as it was before, these changes are only for dramatic effect. and chris is gone because well. we mentally offed him in the inception dream land last time. so anyways the snake = 6, shift A to 6, take out the letters “R-I-C-K” of the characters laying in their graves, and you get this translation;

“its almost time. we must now crack open our minds like a crowbar to a sealed chest. like an egg to a pan. to find our way into camp wawanakwa our ego cannot remain intact, and to traverse it we must stay strong. to escape it, we must glue the pieces back together. now we sleep. dream. end the nightmare.”

this is a final message before ‘entering the island’ to kill chris and free the campers from the island. it acts like a pep talk.

the next post is just the countdown ending.

puzzle 13 (the finale). (x)

this post sends you to a new blog entirely, called @awakenfromthenightmare. there is only one post on it. the post has another link to a mega file, and the link is attached onto a string of text. follow the link by clicking, then copy the text and paste it in as the decryption key. now you have another image to translate with the tangodeltaindia cipher;

when translated, the text is another link to a youtube video.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

so there you have it, that video is the ending to the entire arg. it didnt really end the way i wanted at first, i got burnt out from no engagement about halfway through which isnt anybody elses fault, but i still felt this was a well crafted and fitting finale. thank you all for reading.

#tw self harm ment./ //#tw eye trauma / //#tw unreality// //#tw drug ment/ //#long post/ //#like a mile long just look at the tws its a rabbit hol e

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adrunkgiraffe · 3 years

Text

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things.

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color.

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total.

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season.

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee.

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision.

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative.

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context.

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well.

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment.

But the thing. About. The “I love you.”

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me.

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it.

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific.

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum.

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does.

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET?

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written.

Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is.

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant.

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

#destiel #i don't fucking care im tagging it #bury your gays #queerbaiting #homophobia #also: i should say there are a lot of moments where i refer to aspects of the writing as good #this either means i was 14 when I watched it #or #it's something that i find compelling #that #IN ANOTHER SHOW #OR IN A HYPOTHETICAL WHERE THE WRITING ISNT LADEN WITH HOMOPHOBIA #could be fun to explore #like there are these structural motifs #and themes #which could have made the show good #could have made that confession...passable #but they didn't even write it well by supernatural standards #is my point #My other point is i get to actually be mad about this because I actually watched and put emotional energy towards this show #i shouldnt have but i did #so now I get to write about it #and if you reply we been knew to this post #youre correct #but also #wow do you maybe think I was already aware of that?

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spaceysp · 3 years

Note

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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graffitibible · 4 years

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Do you have any advice for writing or creating regularly? That’s hard for me and I’d like to get better at it.

it boils down to what works best for you personally tbh. i’ve got a system to write semi-regularly (or i did......restricted movement hours have kinda forced me to restructure that lol) and it works for me but that’s just how my brainyot works. i’m a routine-based creature so working writing into my routine was how i got myself to write semi-regularly.

ive also had significant Brain Junk for most of my life and was gradually able to navigate how best to create in spite of that but im also like, medicated for it and the like so self-care was a factor. i couldnt create shit while i was too busy lying in a pool of my own filth having fits of paranoia about the nature of reality so i was hardly about to make myself try and create stuff when that wasnt even on my radar.

i can share some of the things i do to keep myself writing though! like again this isn’t something that’s for sure gonna work for everybody cause everybodys wired differently but i hope some of it helps!

1. daily wordcount - i’ve mentioned this before but i have a daily wordcount that i do for my original fiction. i don’t apply the same standard to fic-writing because that risks making it an arbitrary barrier that puts too many numbers on my internal list. that being said, it’s very small. i make myself do 200 words per day. if that gets me going and writing more than that, awesome. if not, i still got a little bit done. 200 words is small, and it’s not overwhelming to catch up on if i miss a day. no matter how shitty im feeling i try to get in 200 words.

2. routine - since i’m a routine-based person by nature i basically found ways to finagle creative processes into all that. it’s not hard and fast because that kind of rigid structure makes me balk and i’m not that disciplined lol, but it’s usually something like “i have an hour-long lunch break at work and literally nothing else to do during it so i’ll write in that time period” or “i have thirty minutes of sitting by the stove making dinner so i’ll write until it’s ready”

3. momentum - or what my housemate fondly calls “The Juice.” if i have The Juice of inspiration i keep that going for as long as i can. if something’s not working for me i don’t scrap it or toss it right away. if i’m having trouble with a scene i make a note to myself and move on to a different one. example of this from my latest wip, which is part iv of mayhem

i hadnt worked out what was gonna go there and nothing was coming to me easy in the moment so i stuck the note there and kept going. my works are full of this shit. if i can’t think of a name or if there’s a statistic or a character i haven’t worked out yet i don’t wanna break my focus and momentum so i slap a note in the first draft and keep going. at a first draft stage the important thing is getting the words Out so it doesnt matter if theyre perfect. ill go back and fix them later, revise all i need to. first drafts dont need to be good, they just need to be there so i can spruce them up later.

on the flip side do not be like me and commit to this momentum so bad that you forget that you are a human being who needs to eat and consume liquids. i do that sometimes because of who i am as a person and it is a serious flaw of mine, do not be like this. sometimes getting some food in you is what you need to get The Juice flowing again and that sounds kinda gross and i am sorry

4. planning and hangups - this ones dependent on how you create. i forget where this analogy came from, but i’ve heard it said that some writers are architects who need a blueprint of where they’re going before they end up there and some writers are gardeners, who don’t need a set plan so much as they need to keep going. i’m definitely an architect - a lot of my works start out as bulletpoints of what scenes i wanna cover, what topics i wanna explore, etc. - though i have on occasion simply Written without any set destination, usually to force myself out of a creative slump. me being a big planner used to be one of the biggest barriers for me creatively because i’d spend hours agonizing over minute universe details and never start the dang story. this still happens from time to time. like heres what my organizational folder looks like wrt “pray for disaster”

that is not even all the files in there. why do i have two dictionaries. jesus. like i make these giant ass fuckin....tomes of stuff i like to keep track of, which i like to call “bibles” lol. except i could tell that getting too organized was gonna be an uphill battle with very little payoff so by the end i just made a “MISCELLANEOUS BULLSHIT” doc and for now i throw everything in there if it doesn’t fit into something like a dictionary or timeline

shit like this is why i like to just sit down and write without a clear destination in mind if i’m having writer’s block. that’s one of those things that goes hand in hand with the way i take advantage of my own momentum - if i reach a certain point where i’m just picking at details and not doing any writing i just go “ok motherfucker sit down and write shit. we will work out the details later.”

5. motivation - the ways i tend to motivate myself are weird so idk how true this is for anybody else but i’ve been writing for a pretty large part of my life. i went to college for english/creative writing and got a whole dang degree cause i still wanna make this my vocation somehow. one thing i cannot ever turn off is the writer part of my brain that’s going “oooh huh that’s not how i would’ve written that” in literally every piece of art i consume - tv, movies, books, songs, etc. sometimes that’s enough to inspire me into doing something on my own time. most of the time though if i’m feeling stumped i tend to crack open some of my personal favorite works, like books or fics that have really resonated with me, to fall in love with the art all over again. seeing the way different authors and artists do their craft helps me get in the zone of wanting to write more cause i get this nice feeling of “damn, these people really did those things with those words.....that’s fuckin amazing.....i wanna do that.”

you do risk falling into the trap of “ugh i can’t write like them though” but that’s the beauty of writing. nobody can write the way anybody else does. ofc i can’t write like terry pratchett, only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett, and if i compare myself to terry pratchett i’m only gonna get sad and mopey. but i can write in a way thats totally unique to me so i should not try to write like terry pratchett because that’s just impeding my own creative energy in the interest of trying to cookie-cut myself into someone else’s zone. only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett but only i can write like zero graffitibible.

i hope that was helpful? like this is all stuff that works for me so no guarantee it’ll work for everyone else.

oh right and idk how many of yall are minors because let it be known that i do not condone underage drinking; i am an adult who occasionally will get crunk because i like to write drunk and edit sober. if you too are an adult who can legally consume alcohol feel free to write while buzzed because that is a nice way to write with zero fuckin inhibitions. i dont get blackout drunk or nothing just a little buzzed and sometimes what i write makes no sense but i am at times at my most productive at 2am while mildly buzzed. its a thing.

like again i’m not really an authority on this by any means - this is just what works for me. but if it works for you too, great!! find your zone and all that

#anon #ask #z speaks #alcohol mention cw in case anybodys got that blacklisted #theres nothing as liberating as writing after having consumed 1.5 beers and feeling like a gOD #i say 1.5 but realistically its more like 1 #i am a tiny person who cannot hold their liquor #and beer really is just mulled fartweed but thats all right #creating is pain and pain is living and sometimes that entails drinking mulled fartweed cause itll loosen you up enough to really Write #i dont lean on this too much btw #its just like if i happen to get buzzed ill usually go 'you know what i should totally do. write.'#it is at times incomprehensible

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takerfoxx · 4 years

Text

An entirely too long ramble about how much Imperfect Metamorphosis means to me

(Tumblr please actually show that submissions are not just text posts please)

So. It’s almost the last day of the decade. I usually get weirdly sad and nostalgic in the last 30 minutes of New Year’s Eve, but this time it’s been like, a whole week, and I’ve been reflecting on this decade as a whole as well as like, my path in life.

The 1990’s were the decade of my birth and early life.

The 2000’s were the decade of being REALLY into Harry Potter.

And my 2010’s were, wholly and singularly, defined and shaped by Touhou.

I got into Touhou sometime around Easter 2010 when McRoll’d came into my YouTube feed, and something about the music was just so god damned catchy I just had to know where it came from. So I discovered Flandre’s fight and from there, I learned just how great the music of this weird bullet hell game made by some rando in Japan. It quickly became my Thing. When I wasn’t playing sucking at the games, I was listening to the music, and if I wasn’t listening to the music, I was at school (where I’d probably not be paying attention let’s be real here).

So there I was, happily consuming fanart and fansongs and fangames and doing that little smile in appreciation when you see a reference to a thing you like (shoutout to raocow for also playing a few Touhou fangames way back when). It expanded my gaming interests into the sphere of “modding games to make them harder can be fun and cool”, which then lead to a general interest in playing modded and moddable games. It even made me interested in visiting Japan (on my bucket list), not in that stereotypical “weeb” way of visiting all the anime and manga stores, but more in the “something I like put a country on my radar and holy shit some of those restaurants, l want to eat at ALL of these places because they’re gorgeous” way.

You’ll notice that I specifically withheld from mentioning Fanfiction. See, as a teenager who did have the “try something once and if I don’t like it I’ll probably hate it forever because it’s always like that” mentality, I had the unfortunate experience of coming across My Immortal.

That, and the fact that one of my close friends in High School had taken to reading Twilight Fanfic (and complaining at almost every story she read and their bad use of tropes) kinda solidified fanfiction as “something dumb and stupid written by people who solely want to roleplay fucking the protagonist”. And on that pedestal sat the entire concept of fanfiction for a long-ass time (actually it was about a year and a bit).

Fast forward a while. Patchouli had cemented herself as All Time Favourite Character, I’d begun to grow out of my Harry Potter phase in search of new stories, and I’d made some new friends, one of whom said they read fanfiction all the time and some of it was actually better than original, published books because they had the freedom to explore ideas that weren’t entirely publishable. But also to roleplay fuck their waifus.

At some point in Summer 2011, not too long after it came out, I decided to replay Portal 2, and something about the story left me feeling… incomplete. Empty. I sought people discussing what they thought of the story and hidden nuggets of info peppered throughout the game, and at some long buried comment section on YouTube, someone mentioned how some fanfiction went into a headcanon and took it further. I read it, considered it for a moment, deemed it worthy of being called “not trash”, and immediately set to looking at the Touhou section on FF.net.

The first fanfics I read of Touhou were… Well, they were. There were some good ones and not so good ones. But they were all, in some way, at least interesting. I quickly discovered the frustration that New Friend had brought up once, of when you discover something great but it’s over all too soon. Setting FF.net’s search to include only 100k and up fanfics, I was delighted to discover that there was a fanfiction called “Imperfect Metamorphosis” that was over 350,000 words long. And then my carefully crafted plan of going to bed at a sensible time to maximise Summer Gaming Time was devoured by staying up until 4:30am, reading fanfiction on a shitty laptop that could barely run UFO. Thank fuck it was the summer holidays.

There was something special about Imperfect Metamorphosis. The characters all had their own personality, their own history, their own implied history beyond what was written, they had goals, thoughts, feelings, and different takes towards other people working to further their own goals. And it was all wrapped up in a package that started with a simple premise, grew to encompass a world more broad than mere canon or fanon, and then billowed into an eldritch monster of ungodly size (hi, Yuuka!)((kind of like this post huh)).

I was so fucking hooked on IM. I went back to school with theories buzzing about my brain as to what was going to end up happening, my mind wandering to the latest chapter and the bits I thought were cool, actually having the drive to focus and actually learn something about story structure in English Literature. I suddenly had the tiniest flame of interest in creating. Maybe one day I could write fanfic, and do my tiny part in expanding the universe of fan-content.

Regardless of the fact that my own attempts at conjuring stories weren’t successful (for a while), IM was there to be read throughout my last years of Normal Schooling, and it served as both a rock and an escape from the stress of school. I laughed with the jokes, I took Marisa’s death harder than the sum total of Harry Potter’s entire bodycount, and I could never hear Soulja Boi without thinking of Mima trolling Satori.

Just like how Touhou expanded my gaming and cultural horizons, Imperfect Metamorphosis expanded my horizon with Literature. I got into reading Neil Gaiman’s work, I read some Lovecraft, I consumed all kinds of works of fiction, across a multitude of genres, which all felt, in some way, like I was reading them because of IM. I mean I only started watching Madoka, and any anime beyond that, because of Resonance Days. Interesting way of coming across a show filled to the brim with spoilers.

It’s been three years since you put Imperfect Metamorphosis onto hiatus, and I have never read anything that has filled me with such emotion to the same extent. Other things have come close, some of them were even written by other people! (the most recent mega-update of Walpurgis Nights hit me particularly hard). And Swiftly Descending Darkness has been such a great read thus far, the slowly ramping tension is so. god. damned. good.

And as I think I mentioned a while back, I finally managed to start grinding out a touhou fic at my own, absolutely glacial, pace. I always find myself asking “is this canon to Touhou, or is it just canon to IM?”. The line has forever blurred in my mind.

I’m not asking anyone to read my work. This isn’t a plea for you to return to the original IM at any speed, I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for writing Imperfect Metamorphosis. For the work that’s been a steady constant throughout the vast, vast majority of this decade. For inspiring a wealth of emotions and ideas in the mind of a British guy who you’ll never meet. For just, plain writing a good story.

And for making Marisa the biggest badass to grace the land.

Here’s to the 2020’s not sucking, and to the ever expanding list of stories written by Internet user Takerfoxx. Here’s hoping you find great success.

Thank you.

P.S. Oh, and The Friend Who Said Fanfic Was Good Actually? They’re now my Fiancée, as of last month. Funny how the world works like that.

@diggertron, dude, you honestly have me feeling pretty humbled right now. I have to admit, it’s getting harder and harder not to see anything but the flaws when I look back on IM or RD, to the point when anyone compliments me about my writing my reflexive response is to be self-deprecating about my weaknesses, but this has helped me gain some more perspective about my older work, and for that I thank you, and am glad you have stuck around for so many years.

And congratulations on your engagement as well!

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yvngbin · 5 years

Text

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here , bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects, & kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him.

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

- has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out

#hearst.intro #now to completely revamp my theme bc its ugly #this is also embarrassingly long #hnyways #we in this bitch.. finna get crunk !

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antiquexbeast · 5 years

Note

Hey so I love your ship with antiquexbeast. Christblood deserves more love and vampire/witch + demon christblood deserves even more! Can you give us a few headcannons or little fun facts for the ship?

i think you mean @sacrosanctdeceit lol, but that’s chill afefaiwenfiidk im glad ya’ll like our? flailing mess of 30 half verses and wine fueled crack bullshit???idek what headcanons i can give really for the whole ship, mostly since damien acts very differently to the other depend on the verses. i can try to do a minor breakdown of each though?

damien, actual good boi as a friendship, yeah they’d be a little weird, but pretty much everyone on the block is weird, so they’d find ways of enjoying each other’s company of course ~ as a romantic ship or anything else like that on it’s own, in canon, with like… no au spices or anything, idk i honestly have a hard time shipping it and writing for it lol. this has everything to do with damien as a person and the sheer fact that he wouldn’t ever fuck a married dude, let alone a dude whose married to his best friend like what lol??

demon!joe just terrifies the shit out of him so that’s… yeah… not much to say about that there tbh it’s self explanatory lol

vampire!damien you know what’s jacked up about this ship? technically he just waits for everyone in the neighborhood to die and then he can be fine hanging out with this demon who, for some inexplicable reason, really has the hots for him. but damien hangs out in his coffin chewin his nails every morning like “jfc i’m terrible, i’m literally out here messin’ around with the thing possessing the body whose body is married to my best friend oh my god what is wrong with me this is awful and terrible this needs to stop how do i stop this??” but invariable does… nothing… to fix… the problem… until it becomes a debilitating issue lol

also spoiler: i don’t think he’s… actually told this thing that he loves them lol. he’s feelin’ Some Kinda Way about the whole thing but STILL goes and MESSES AROUND with this DEMON, like BOI what I s YoU DoiN??

HCs?? - thoroughly enjoys being domestic and old and will literally come over to curl up on the couch and knit next to demon!boi while he’s doing something calm. - out of sheer archaic habit, he’s very controlled with his displays of affection and personal space, something he generally forgets that lends a hand in keeping their strange relationship in check. usually the demon is the first to provide affections and compliments first, but every now and then when he’s sure they’re alone he’ll place a hand on the demon’s just so, or press a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth. - he refuses to tell the demon how old he is, and has made a point to say that it’s rude to ask or poke around his brain for the information. the only hint of his general age one might get would be that he periodically succumbs to fits of feral behavior. normally he’d shut himself in the underground workings of his home until he slept it off, but since the demon’s come into his life and ruined his routine, that’s been completely thrown off. - he does go through bouts of something he can only describe as narcolepsy. it usually occurs when he’s expended a great deal of energy towards craft in a very limited amount of time, or when he’s put under too much stress ( physiological, emotional, ect ). when he sleeps, he’s never sure if he’ll wake up in a week, a month, or a decade. it’s very difficult to wake him in fact, but since the other immortal has been in his life, he’s had an easier time waking up mid coma for a few moments at a time ~

exorcist!damien oh my god THIS man in particular is just? he’s absolutely polite, don’t get me wrong, he’s still a sweetheart, but he will not hesitate to back hand you into next week if you happen to be something he has to hunt and/or yeet back into wherever dimension you came from. he’s not terribly thrilled about the job he has now, but he’s a bit stuck in it since his family made a lot of weird mistakes 50 skrillion years ago, so that’s just part of the ol’ family business now i guess. he does agree that it could be worse, and he’s very happy that the people he works for ensures that his son is always kept safe ( probably so if he dies for some weird reason they can just recruit him and be like GO AVENGE YOUR DAD or some weirdness idk that tends to happen right? ) he’s a tad bit bitter right now, but i think that’s mostly because he’s just annoyed that the target he’s trying to hunt and exterminate is trying to be friends? after previously trying to take his body? like boi… figure yourself out.

HCs?? - if this went anywhere but constant fighting it’d be a hateship i’m alive for that bc im filthy like hands down. i literally can’t think of any scenario where exorcist!dame doesn’t want to just peel the demon out and get the town Jesus Boi back. but here’s this demon. makin things hard. gettin all chummy. - during daylight and normal hours, he doesn’t look any different, but his skin covered in a great series of tattoos ( scarification?? ) of charms, talismans, demon traps, and assorted other inscriptions. most of them are for banishing entities, ensuring he isn’t possessed, and one spot on his chest that acts as a sort of “spiritual pocket” for a single bonded weapon of choice ( The Order keeps calling them blessed script and the like, but he’s just like yeah, that’s not, you know i’m a witch right this isn’t… okay you know what? that’s fine, not gonna argue, i’m tired– ) - the main issue with the above is demon boi keeps TOUCHING HIM and activating the runes that repel him by reflex. most demons immediately pull away and complain about the pain and being burned, but demon!joe just keeps getting in his space and picking him up and carrying him around he’s just SO DISTURBED BY THIS like do you have a pain kink what is WRONG?? - istg most of this verse is Damien trying to catch demon boi in the act of some bullshit out in public. usually he’s more covert than this, but being as this target is just so SMOOTH and DECENT SEEMING and TOO GOOD at it, it’s now just driving him nuts, so he’s pulling some Willie Coyote stunts he honestly shouldn’t be - idk i don’t have a lot for this yet other than it just makes me laugh cause i just needed something not so tense as our other verses lol

jfc this was so long I’M SO SORRY i think that’s it though i’m done afoienfawe

#Anonymous #{ headcanons }#{ v; like humans do }#{ v; sanctified }#{ v; sleeping beauty }#//omg that was so long IM SORRY

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clownjail · 6 years

Text

49 Questions with Mika Part 2

Part 1

Under the cut because it's very long!

Friends

21) Best Friend(s)?

I never really considered anybody a best friend, I don't even consider the kids I lived with in the orphanage acquaintances, let alone friends. Though recently I made a friend in school, her name is Yui Komori and she's lovely!

22) Who was their first friend?

Hmm I guess my first ever friend was a blue bird called River! She was the orphanage pet, and not to brag or anything but I was cleary her favorite out of all the kids, I didn't have any friends at the orphanage and my experience there was pretty bland but River made it the experience more enjoyable! She always was quiet little thing but if i'm around, I'll never get her to shut up, which really annoyed the orphanage kids heh. When I was bought by the Ayashii's, apart of me was upset because I'll never see River again but the following day, she was in my bedroom window, waiting for my retun! I was just a kid back then so I didn't question how she got there, she wasn't an extremely good flyer to begin with and even if she was, she was still a baby, and even now, I sometimes see a glimpse of her when i'm by myself but it's probably my imagination haha.

23) What is their friend group like?

I don't really have a friend group, sometimes I hang out with Yui but she's often being dragged around with the Sakamaki's brothers. Master Shin has made it very clear that if he catches me talking casually to someone of a lower breed, I'll be severely punished! So because of that I can't interact with Yui as much as I want to.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

I wouldn't say I hurt a friend, more like a friend has hurt me, though I guess we were never really friends to begin with…

27) Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

*blushes* I-I consider Master Shin one of my closest friends, even if he doesn't see it that way, b-but recently I want more than that…is that what you consider a c-crush? *blush intensifies*

28) Do they share classes with good friends?

Well Yui is a year above me, so we don't share the same classes together, the only time we see each other is in the hallways, lunch or sometimes cooking class. However I do share a class with Subaru-kun, though he probably doesn't see me as a friend, let alone acquaintance, we sit next to each other and he's often fun to tease!

29) Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

The bathroom. I don't like crying in front of other people because I don't want them to worry over me, I don't want them to pity me, so whenever I feel like I need to cry, I do it in a private area.

30) What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

That's a good question…my oldest friend, River, has been with me since I was a child, I couldn't imagine what it would be like without her being there to keep me company but then again, River, doesn't live with me anymore and I'm doing fine without her but I do miss her a lot…

School

31) What grade are they in? If they arent in school, how come?

Even though im 17 years old, I'm in my first year! I didn't get a proper education most kids my age should get, so because of that I got bumped down a grade, they were actually considering dropping me to second year of Middle School, if Master Carla didn't get involve, I don't where I'll be at…

32) Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

…… I'll be lying if I said that I enjoy all my teachers, there are just some teachers/subjects that I do not care for nor like. Since i'm usually pulled into Master Shin shenanigans, i'm on thin ice with some teachers.

33) Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

I try my best to listen to the teachers but when you're sitting next to someone like Subaru-kun, it's gets kinda hard to listen to the lecture when your partner is angrily tearing up the test sheets hehe

34) Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

I-i mean, I like to think that i'm a good student, j-just not academically! While I enjoy most subjects, i'm awful in some of them, if it wasn't for Master Carla, strict but much needed teaching methods, I'll probably be a straight C student.

35) Do/Did they need extra help?

Yeah, I guess you could say that, usually Master Carla will tutor me, and while I do appreciate his help his teaching methods can be harsh at times, I remember the first time, I got a question wrong on a test after months of studying, I will never forget what happened next *shivers*!

37) Do/Did they have bullies in school?

There's the occasional catty group of girls, who sometimes spread snarky remarks and rumors about me and Master Shin, Master Shin would be very angry at me, if he knew I was getting worked up about false rumors, so I tried to not let their words get to me.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

Well some of the girls could be a bit catty towards me, mostly it's because of how close I am with the Tsukinami brothers, especially Master Shin. It doesn't really bother me but sometimes the girls cross the line, and try to go physical on me, so when that happens, I usually revert to self defense. I know violence isn't always the answer but sometimes I can't help it, when fists are flying, my initial default thought process is to retort back as well! It's stuck in my brain at this point!

39) Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

Many times! Master Shin is usually the cause of this or is somehow involve but there was this one time I was running late to class,

40) How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

I'm planning to finish all three years of school! I never went to school when I was a child but now that I am attending classes, I could learn all new things that I never experience or seen before! I want to learn more and more about everything and anything, and my first step to accomplish that goal is by attending school, not like I'm complaining though!

Other

41) Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced?

*blushes* I-i mean I do have a slight c-crush on someone, b-but dating never crossed my mind!

42) What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

Because i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's, I don't have much free time but whenever I have the time, I usually practice my knitting skills! Master Shin, always teases for being interested in a 'lame hobby' but I spotted three sweaters that I knitted, in his closets, that he previously called ugly, so its safe to assume he really does like my craft *giggles*

43) If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

For a long time, what I really wanted in life was freedom but now that I have that, I don't need anything else.

44) Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

Well I don't know if it classify as a job but i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's household. I don't really consider myself as a maid or servant, because I don't really do anything servant-like, all I really do is just help out the Tsukinami brothers with minor tasks, such as grocery shopping. I think the familiars are more useful and servant-like than I am.

45) Do they use social media?

Heh I'm not really tech-savvy as the kids these days are, so not really! (Oh my gosh Mika you're not even that old)

46) Have they ever been in the hospital?

When I was in a slave of the Ayashii's I did have some severe bruises that did needs medical attention but I wasn't given any, so no I never been to a hospital and I don't think I ever want to, some of the stories I hear about hospitals don't sound really pleasing!

47) Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

Well I mean, I guess you could say, i'm already living with them!

48) What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Well whenever I feel overwhelmed, I-i usually go to Master Shin *blushes*, he doesn't comfort me or anything, just knowing that's he's there, makes me feel better *blushing intensifies*. Sometimes if he's in a really good mood, I'm allowed to hold him when he's in his wolf form but those times are really rare! H-however if Master Shin is in a bad mood or if he's the cause of my stress than I usually take a walk in the forest, being cooped up all day inside, really gets to me at times so whenever I have the opportunity to go outside, I'll take it, I've find it whenever i'm surrounded by nature, all my nerves go fade away. Sometimes I have a familiar accompany me, just so I can have somebody to keep me company and other times Master Shin would go with me as well.

49) Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

I would like to believe that i'm a good person, but I know i'm not, I have done some terrible things to other people and I very deeply regret the things that I did so the best description that fits me is morally grey.

#mika senshi #diabolik lovers oc #oc questions

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