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starbiology · 2 years

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Would you ever consider doing a meta on lqq? Especially what you mean by his morals?

Sure!!

Im not the best with character analysis so please understand this is just me having fun talking about Lang Qianqiu bcz I love him and I love TGCF

!SPOILERS!

i think where most of the early mismatch between the portrayal of Lang Qianqiu's personality and his actions is due to the story being told from Xie Lian’s perspective. Xie Lian is a VERY unreliable narrator which is important to keep in mind when really looking at any characters in the book. Makes it extra fun!

A lot of readers either miss, or just nearly miss the fact that Lang Qianqiu buried Xie Lian alive, stabbing his chest through with a dowel to make sure he couldn’t escape the coffin. It’s purposeful that its a very easy detail to miss. Throughout the novel Xie Lian refuses to acknowledge his past if he believes he was at fault and deserved whatever mistreatment.

In this case it leads to an introduction of Lang Qianqiu as this naïve and rash character who is friendly and a little dumb, the reader at this point does not know that this guy literally buried the main character alive so he seems very sincere. He continues in the Ghost City chapters to be played up as this kind of character. He even cant stand the thought of not upholding justice to the point where he blows their cover condemning the ghost city residents in a rant...

“This hellish place reeks of smoke and corruption, and it’s filled to the brim with demonic chaos. What scum is gathered here, committing what kinds of deeds? Running a place like this, none of you have a single trace of humanity!” (lol)

But then he quickly doubles back shortly after that if Hua Cheng is Xie Lian’s friend then XL can’t ever lie to HC “one should never deceive a friend”. It’s a pretty freaking hilarious switch in mood that gives you whiplash. The only reason he changed his tune on HC is bcz the other god he “just met” is supposedly friends with him. That’s really it, it’s not like anyone said “oh no HC doesnt ACTUALLY accept cruel bets”, because well he does and so LQQ just simply accepts it because he decides friendship is more important than his godly stuff. Its weird but you assume that hes just kind of silly.

So alright, he values Justice and Righteousness but over that, friendship and loyalty. Even more than his roles of a god.

He finds out that XL was his past teacher who he believes killed his family and has this huge confrontation then chases XL down and then has a bigger confrontation where hes crying and yelling all proudly at XL that he’ll never become like XL.

Then we get into what Ill call “Post- I found out the friend I thought I had as a mortal 300 some years ago deceived me” aka “LQQ goes back on everything he just passionately cried about”

This is my fav LQQ, and takes up basically the rest of the book until the very end.

He starts it by cleaving Qi Rong in half then boiling him alive snapping at XL that he should be allowed to make him suffer when XL yells out to him. Its shockingly gruesome, but i wouldnt say “hes not acting like himself”. I dont think thats really fair due to the fact that he challenged XL to a duel to the death despite already having buried him alive. He already has done acts of cruelty purely for the sake of revenge, its not justice. He’s very much acting like himself, just even more aggressive.

He continues throughout the book in the bg trying to find QR’s ashes to truly kill him. Theres a point where everyone is looking for Jun Wu and I truly believed when he yelled out “found him!” he meant Guzi, who we assume was just burned to death, but no he drags Qi Rong’s body out and tries to kill him lol

Its only at the point when the rest of Qi Rong’s ghost fire disappears and LQQ isn’t even sure that hes the one that actually killed him does he realize he’s fucked up. He didnt do anything to get his family back he just killed another person, one who has a son who mourns him just the same as he with his own parents (just know im sitting there like 👌oooh chefs kiss love love love this circle narrative).

And now hes suddenly responsible for his obsessive vengeance and the harm it caused, taking in Guzi and (working on) restoring Qi Rong’s soul. It’s only at this part that I think his character changes from what he was like at the start. That whole “out for justice” early Lang Qianqiu and “out for bloody revenge” Lang Qianqiu were one in the same, its not til he puts aside his vengeance that his character changes.

Okay tldr,

I love Lang Qianqiu very much. hes a crazy ass bitch who became even more crazy ass bitch but he gets a pass on his crazy from the gods because he seems nice and a little naive when really he decides whats Just is what hes feeling at the moment and will kill u. At the very end of the book is when his character changes and its v v good.

#asks #lang qianqiu #tgcf #long post

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piratemadi · 3 years

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please make your critical post of supernatural those are literally the only posts about supernatural i care about, especially since i side eye the heck out of the many people who give supernatural a pass because they ship two boring white dudes (dean and castiel) PLEASE

omg ok nobody make fun of me for posting an earnest criticism of this show i enjoy critical analysis and being a hater

i think most of why this show sucks has already been covered pretty thoroughly but these r the main things abt it that piss ME off.

the racism runs so SO deep. supernatural is supposed to be an exploration of americana thru horror (and i’ll give them that. like the idea of deconstructing america and all its fallacies thru horror is genius and in competent hands it would be absolutely incredible. but anyway) but it only really scrapes the surface of what is inherently horrific about americana! something like that is supposed to be an INTERROGATION of monstrosity and how america (and western society more broadly) creates monsters out of human beings and how white christian morals are established as the ONLY acceptable morals and how anyone who falls outside of those norms (non christian, non white, lgbt, people with substance use disorders, prisoners, the poor, indigenous people/cultures etc) are monsterized, so to speak, because of an oppressive and unloving colonial society. like u cannot have a horror narrative abt monsters attacking family values and white suburban life without invoking some very old and racist conventions! but instead of subverting that supernatural just reinforces it! it consistently fails to make any kind of real statement because the most demonized parts of society are the people who are also treated the WORST in canon! native american beliefs are stolen and turned into stupid bogeymen without the show ever featuring a native character or seriously grappling with the inherent violence of america as a colonial state, black men are consistently portrayed as angry and evil while black women are treated like shit (dean’s happy ending at the end of s5 is with a white woman he fucked one time instead of with the black woman who he was in love with??), impoverished people are mostly ignored and when they’re not theyre monsters (theres one episode centered around a poor rural family that commits murder and cannibalism. no supernatural stuff or monsters. just poor people. thats the scare).

theres this consistent fixation on preserving american suburbia, on saving “normal” (read: white middle class) people and it sets up this dynamic of like. the “real world” is the white middle class and then there’s hunters including our mains who defend that “real world” against monsters and demons, which is just Everything Else. and the writers PRETEND to struggle w the question of monsters and what makes one but they just toss it around without ever actually committing to answering that question with compassion or narrative coherency. they have multiple episodes about characters who were raised human, who want to be human, but have to be killed because of an inherent evil nature. there’s a plot in the early seasons about how one of the main characters has demonic powers, and instead of saying that doesnt make him inherently bad and he’s allowed to fully access all parts of himself without being fundamentally evil, they consistently frame intrinsically neutral traits as inherently evil specifically because they go against a christian ideal of morality! and eventually he learns to suppress these powers and that’s that!

and then it establishes christianity as the guiding principle of america, not in a way of like “american culture and history is deeply steeped in white supremacist protestantism that has led to incredibly fucked up views on god and love and morality and thats what we have to deal with as people who live here”, but in a way of like “the christian god is real and he’s a white guy who fucking hates you.” which like. Ok. they bastardize and trivialize any religions that arent christian while building the entire series on christianity. Ok. like i guess its possible to write stories about white christianity without implying that every other religion is full of shit but supernatural did not do that on any level

its also just. really poorly written. i genuinely loved the first season i thought it was really well paced and that the characters were introduced really well like the first season is a GOOD horror story in terms of family as horror and the inherent terror of americana. but the pacing and the character development started tripping up in s2. by s3 they started raising the stakes Exponentially which honestly is such a kiss of death for good fiction like every season mounting a bigger badder antagonist than the last one is the surest way to kill a story bc it means the earlier entries in that story become basically meaningless in the face of the new bad guy. u dont need to raise the stakes to write a good story! a well written story abt the horror and drama of a close knit and unhealthy family caught up in something they don’t really understand isn’t Less emotionally resonant than, like, having to stop the world from ending, because at the end of the day its Fiction and none of it matters beyond what u can make the audience really Feel. im not gonna feel sorrow if 7 billion fake little people die. i didnt cry when the death star blew up whatever planet it blew up. what DOES make me feel sorrow is a few truly well written characters whose relationships are complicated and tragic and whose motivations i can understand and whose inner lives i can imagine. raising the stakes destroys a good story and thats exactly what happened to supernatural (not that the racism and misogyny and american protestant moralizing wasn’t killing it already)

also, the misogyny makes the female characters basically impossible to watch. like not a single person on that show is a good actor (except sterling k brown love u king u were the best actor that show ever saw) but they didnt even give any of the women anything to work with. its literally so cringey to watch any woman onscreen except maybe like. bela talbot and she was treated like utter shit.

god. you know that expression dont fall in love with potential? i dont do that w people i do it w fiction. i came off black sails and the untamed and frankenstein and i watched the first couple seasons of supernatural with my friend and it was like...there was so much room for it to SAY something about monsters and how society creates them thru violence and how deeply horrific american protestantism is. like theres so many questions and concepts that it brought up that it never actually SAID something about. shithole of wasted potential. and yeah dean and castiel is stupid there i said it

#again i KNOWW everybody knows it sucks and doesnt care #im a hater!#asks

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iridescentides · 3 years

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hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity.

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

#this took me embarassingly long to write #i cant help myself i literally think about this all the time #youre doing a great job with these questions secret santa!#dcoms #disney channel #answered asks #anons #gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

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lesbianrobin · 4 years

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Im dying to know, do you have any holiday-themed Steve, Robin, Party, etc. headcanons?

god you KNOW i do!!! first of all i celebrate christmas and i dont rly know anything about other holidays this time of year so im just gonna... work on the assumption that they all celebrate christmas, but if anyone who doesnt celebrate or celebrates something else wants to reblog and add their own hcs i encourage it!!! okay this is gonna be so scattered but:

steve never really liked christmas very much. it was always just stressful and he hated having to spend time with his family and he always got like the most generic expensive boring gifts from his parents and it just wasn't really fun... the first christmas he really got into it was the christmas he spent with nancy and after they broke up, he was like oh christmas just fucking sucks!! but then...

that next christmas dustin invites him over for christmas eve and he brings a pie that he bought from the grocery store and claudia thanks him a million times and he wishes that he'd baked it himself so he didn't feel so guilty

dustin gives him a little baseball bat ornament and claudia is like "oh i thought you played basketball!" and steve is like "oh uh i do but i like baseball too :)" and he and dustin kinda smile at each other and steve ruffles his hair and they watch rudolph on tv and steve is like oh christmas.... is good......

speaking of dustin he always starts thinking about christmas gifts in like october but somehow ends up with absolutely nothing on december 20th and he has to run around in a panic finding gifts for the party

he drinks hot chocolate like a maniac... he doesnt drink water the entire month of december it's hot chocolate or it's nothing

hes one of those people who will say "come on it's christmas!!!" on like the tenth

lucas is one of those people who will say "no asshole it's december tenth"

lucas loves christmas!! he just thinks that it's a day and not a whole fucking month!!! he thinks anything before like december 15th is too much

the only thing he hates about christmas is that his parents always make him and erica pick out gifts for each other with no help from them... and since erica is an evil genius she always gets lucas the perfect gift just so she can hold it over his head for the entire year when he accidentally gets her a toy she already owns

she literally watches him open his present like >:) and lucas is pissed when it's this extremely specific action figure that he's wanted for a long time but he swears he never even mentioned it to anybody

and then he just sits there feeling like a stupid asshole as she unwraps a random doll that lucas figured she might like since its hair looks kind of sort of vaguely like erica's and she's like "thanks lucas :) i think i have this one already but it's sweet" and his parents are like "hey it's the thought that counts! erica see your brother knows what you like :)" and she's like "yeah :)" and then as soon as their parents aren't looking she sticks her tongue out at lucas and he sticks his out back at her

the sinclairs have such a disgustingly perfect christmas like they bake cookies together and shit it's adorable

speaking of adorable families the byers house is so full of love on christmas

almost all of the ornaments on their tree are handmade little crafts from when will and jonathan were younger and they buy tinsel at the dollar store and just go fucking ham with it their tree always looks like a hobby lobby threw up

growing up joyce would usually try to get them some things they need on christmas and then like one or two special things for each of them and she could never buy the fancy new toys that were in all the ads on tv and in magazines but she knows her boys.... jonathan got his first camera on christmas and it was from a secondhand store and kind of dinged up and definitely old as shit but he loved it..... will always got some new construction paper and crayons or markers so by the end of christmas day joyce would have new drawings to put up on the fridge or a new little ornament that he made for her.....

sometime in november jonathan would always be like "okay will i have a secret mission for you, you need to find out something mom needs that we could give her for christmas!" and will would be like "you have to say your mission should you choose to accept it" and jonathan would say "well i know you're gonna accept the mission" and will's like "jonathannnnn" and jonathan would be like "okay fine your mission should you choose to accept it" and will would be like >:) im a spy >:)

so little baby will would action roll around the house humming the mission impossible theme and peeking around walls at joyce and then after like a week he'd say "i think mom needs a stool she keeps jumping to try and reach stuff high up in the cabinets" and jonathan's like awesome thanks and he finds a cheap folding stool and some chocolates that he can afford with whatever money he has saved up and he has will wrap it because he figures it's like ten times cuter that way and joyce cries when she sees the little christmas card will put with the stool for her

i'm going way more in depth than i need to thvjdjcd but basically the byers house is all love man... so much love ..... they don't use colored lights anymore they only use the solid strands but they still have fun decorating together and will makes paper chains and stuff to hang up and i'm about to make myself cry

so!! this is getting super long fjvndmcmd

nancy is absolute dogshit at buying presents for people she's just terrible at it. she always just asks mike and holly and her parents what they want and buys exactly what they tell her and if they don't tell her anything then she has like a mental breakdown about it and panics and buys like. a flannel pajama gift set from the department store.

when she's dating steve he tells her not to worry about getting him anything which she takes at face value until her mom asks what she's giving steve like three days before christmas and then she starts panicking and she goes to a sporting goods store and just asks the first employee she sees what a teenage boy who plays basketball might like

steve can't tell if he should be like happy or vaguely offended that his girlfriend gave him like shoe deodorizers and a water bottle and socks for a sports team that he doesn't root for... she tried though and thats all he cares about

she and jonathan agree they'll exchange gifts but nothing over like MAX fifteen bucks which is easy she just finds a tape or a record she thinks he'll like and she's set (she spends a full hour in the music store and almost just gets a gift certificate for him but eventually she just says fuck it and picks some random shit she's never heard of and hopes he likes whatever it is)

mike on the other hand is actually like... insanely good at gift giving because he pays close attention to the people he cares about and he just like Knows if lucas or dustin or will is gonna like something

he just doesnt really buy into christmas all that much?? it's cool to get free stuff and eat cookies and all but he thinks people make it into a bigger deal than it should be

holly still believes in santa though so he likes seeing how excited she gets on christmas... it warms his cold tween boy heart.....

the first christmas he gets to spend with el he turns into a fucking christmas enthusiast and he makes her hot chocolate and gives her a tape full of christmas songs and he asks his mom for a bigger gift allowance because he has a GIRLFRIEND now and she's never- uh, THEY'VE never celebrated christmas TOGETHER so it has to be SPECIAL MOM!!!!

karen is like buddy calm down but it's so nice to see him excited about something again that she caves and gives him like forty bucks and tells him not to tell nancy or his dad

el and hopper christmas... i cannot go into detail or i WILL cry but hopper takes her with him to pick out their tree and she's so meticulous about it like examining all of them and he's just standing there in the cold freezing his ass off letting her do her thing because she's so excited that he doesn't have the heart to tell her they're basically all the same and to just hurry up and pick one

he gives her a lot of books... there are so many books under their ugly fucking tree because el picks one thats extremely crooked because she says it seems nice and hopper cant find any of his old decorations so they have to start from scratch...

el enlists the whole party for help finding hopper a present because it has to be the best present of all time!!!! they're like well what does he like and she's like uh tv.... coffee.... gun...... and they're like uh we can get him a coffee mug?

so on christmas morning el presents him with a "BEST DAD" mug full of candy and he hugs her so she won't see that he's fucking crying

she also gives max a drawing she did of max as wonder woman and it isn't very good but max says it's her favorite present she's ever gotten and she keeps it folded up in her nightstand

max has mixed feelings about christmas

i should not have saved her for last this is depressing

fuck her family fuck all of that okay max spends christmas eve with the sinclairs and christmas day with el because her mom and neil don't really feel like celebrating this year and so for the first time in a long time her christmas is full of love and joy and hopper makes them cinnamon rolls for breakfast which el has never had before and it's great

the party usually does a big gift swap and they don't get each other anything too fancy or expensive but it's sweet... they all gather in mike's basement like the day after christmas and eat the leftovers from the wheelers' christmas dinner and give each other comics and action figures and dice

once robin enters the picture she and steve lowkey get smashed on christmas eve together off peppermint schnapps and they play rockin around the christmas tree like ten times and jump around until they get dizzy...

they give each other little things like every other day leading up to christmas so by the end of december they've exchanged gifts like ten times but it isn't their FAULT okay!!! steve just saw these earrings and thought of her so he got them... and robin couldn't just leave that wham! crop top sitting in the store...... and steve couldn't resist the cheap bff necklaces he found while looking for a gift for erica....... and what is robin meant to do, ignore the stuffed kermit doll she saw in a store window?

it's just unrealistic

i like to think that everybody gathers at the byers house for lunch or dinner on christmas eve... they just hang out and exchange presents and make cookies and watch christmas movies and argue over which ones suck and which ones are actually good...... they just spend time together without any fear or danger and it's good

#stranger things #christmas #god this is so long gifmcmdj #em talks #asks #long post #define-lying

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Randomly thinking some more about that old game idea of mine that i just call Dark Pokemon for now, lol

Basically a monster catching game where they're treated as monsters? Normal people are all terrified of them and trainers get treated with a 50/50 mix of reverence and hatred. Because trainers are the only way that humans can try and exterminate the monsters, yet theyre seen as cursed people who dont even count as human anymore. Sort of a way to explain little cliches of the genre like kids being thrown out completely alone to travel the world, and you never really having any reason to revisit past towns after you beat the gym. I was thinking itd be a cool way to do it if the game started off seeming like a normal mon catching game and then before you get the big reveal of the darkness you can get subtle hints if you try and turn around and reenter the starting area. Because it goes against expectations it might be missed by a lot of players.

Also the towns are so small and the routes are so straight and narrow because thats how humanity builds society in a world of monster fear. 90% of the world is uninhabited wilderness where only monsters live. Human towns are sorta like sci fi dome cities without the scifi? Surrounded by protective salt barriers and charms and stuff. And if a monster even touches anything its considered cursed, so if one of them makes it past a salt barrier that town is abandoned and any people caught up in the chaos of the barrier's collapse are left to die just in case they've been corrupted. And the roads between the towns are manned by armed guards who are constantly vigilant to repair the salt barriers. But this means they have to live their entire life alone in these limbo spaces between society and the wild, and often most narrier breaches are caused by the guards getting paranoid from the pressure. You need to keep watch for monsters so any movement in the shadows could be one of them, right?? You get situations of roads being blocked off by some crazed guard who starts seeing people as monsters, or one of them pulling the alarm and getting a town falsely burnt down for being corrupted when the monster was really just a leaf blowing in the wind. Or the worst case scenario where nobody ever knows WHAT happened! You just find the road destroyed and the guard gone. It might have happened days ago and nobody knew until a merchant tries to travel between towns and discovers the only road of escape is gone and everyone is doomed to slow starvation. And you can still see the other end of the road just a few meters away, but the superstition is so strong that nobody will risk taking that single step into monster territory. You'll be cursed and that's worse than death, right? You don't want to turn into a trainer...

And then also nobody really knows what determines who's chosen to be a trainer. Inevitably whenever someone shows signs of powers the town will turn on them and make up any excuse that they somehow invited the curse by being promoscuous or athiest or something. And you need to be removed for everyone's safety! Thus begins the ten year old's journey walking the earth in search of a place they can belong...

Tho usually its not just kids, the protagonist and rival is a rare case. All your neighbours are torn between 'its so tragic it happened to kids' and 'they must be REALLY evil to get chosen despite their age!' And i think maybe the rival would be like a sympathetic gary type? Theyre so determined to be better than you because they think if they can prove theyre good then their parents will let them go back home. And this desperation leads them to make bad choices and reject the only friend they have left :( Also them being bad to their monster pals would feel more justified when they were raised in a society that says monster pals are evil and you cant let your guard down cos theyre just trying to tempt you. Listen to the assholes who dont care about you, because anyone being nice is a lying sinner!

Also i was thinking maybe you catch monsters with a magic song or throwing herbs at them or absorbing them into a jewel pendant or something else more magicky yknow? Maybe magical bandages enscribed with spell runes that wrap arpund them like a collar? And so trainers are divided up into weavers who make these catching tools, and then the actual kind of trainer who uses them to catch mons. Weavers are able to stay in human society and act like the pokeball shops, theyre sorta like a 'town witch' or something. Like 'we will tolerate your magic if you never actually make a contract with a monster'. But then of course catching monsters is necessary to defend against monsters, so weavers have to be allowed to make the catching threads and sell them to travellers. But only travellers are allowed to do that sinful mon hugging! But also hey sinful traveller will you please save us from our doom? Basically this is why most trainers work as mercenaries, all this bullshit means that you gotta be employed by some asshole who hates your guts just cos u need food to eat. But blablabla town limit of X days before you have to leave, etc etc...

Also i was considering an element of different towns having different mythology around monsters and trainers? So you never really know whats real or if all of it is bullshit. Every time you go to a new place theyre equally fanatically convinced that some new thing is the real sin and everything the last guy said is eeeeeevil corruption. Sigh! And a subplot i was thinking of is a town with very sexist mythology, where the roles of weavers and tamers are seen as one gender only. And the town weaver is this nice grandma thats trapped in an abusive relationship with a super misogynist gramps. And one of those cloyingly fake-softspoken "rational" sexists who's all 'im just trying to protec u, wrong gender roles are bad for your immortal soul'. And has a million "logical" explanations for why his bigotry is true. Like technically he's "valuing her as important" by not letting her leave the house or socialize with friends, because yknow "im a nice guy who's nice to you trainers, i know your job is important so shouldnt the weavers be working 24/7 to support you?" The frustrating feeling of starting to trust a guy cos he's not bigoted against your particular minority, but then finding out he's bigoted against someone else... Ugh. So ultimately in the end you can succeed at this sidequest and help the grandma make a pact with a cute fairy monster and kick his ass and leave. And possibly get into a cute and mutually healthy relationship with another grandma in another town, so you get to see that and have a bonus happy note to the sidequest, yknow? Also they give you a hug and bake u cookies. (The monster is wearing a cute chef hat!) And then you'd have a place to stay in that town that doesnt have the 'it gets more expensive every night to try and make you leave' bullshit of all the normal inns. And you get to see a cute animation of your monsters all cuddled up in bed too cos they dont force you to leave them outside in the Designated Monster Containment Cage.

Oh! Also randomly i was thinking of another way of foreshadowing! Like when you go to the first inn you dont know any of this stuff about people hating monster tamers and not trusting your tamed mons even if theyre tame. So you'd probably just think that you not seeing your monsters when you sleep is just the game's limited graphics or you keep them in some pokeball equivelant thing. But when you walk arpund the outside of the inn you can see a door to a basement cellar that's got weirdly heavy duty chains and bars even if you assume they store their valuables down there. And maybe when you heal at the inn it never restores your mons to full health, always 10hp away from maximum or something? Or other small hints that theyre afraid of going to the inn and your protagonist is wary about doing it even if you'd think theres no downside to healing. Or maybe you can see another monster tamer visit the place at one point and you can hear banging and growling from the basement...? Or see some of the chains have bite marks in the morning. And the townsfolk wpuld be all 'can you believe how much noise they made?' and expressing fear about monsters being in the town, though itd have to be written carefully to remain vague. But yeah 'lets mistreat these small animals because we fear them' -> they panic and cry for their one human friend in the world while theyre forced to sleep in a damp dark tiny room -> 'that just proves theyre inherantly violent!' Also the trainer is an ungrateful bastard for acting so sullen when they couldnt sleep from worry over their friends :(

But it wont be all depressing yo!!! All the darkness of the setting is dark but the monster pals are still just as pals! I give u grimdark world so i can give u a protagonist of kindness who fights the system and saves people in every town who eventually rise up and are swayed by their kindness into fighting The Old Ways and making a better world as the story goes on! Its like an adventure of creating the pokemon world? You try and sell everyone on the idea of trusting cute monsters instead of being so damn paranoid you inflict all these atrocities upon other humans and even yourself because 'sacrifices are necessary to keep the monsters away'. Fight the symbol of all bigotry!!! The evil team is Team Bad Dads And Politicians!!!

...sorry lol my story ideas are Weird.

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ajabsusbjsbsbanns · 6 years

Photo

Warning for some mentions of sexual intimacy and also somewhat cp?.. the intimacy is not explicit by any means. however i go into detail on why their art is bad so just keep this in mind.

please consider reading this whole thing before jumping to a conclusion

(and im aware the screenshots above are somewhat out of context. this was going to be short but it isnt now)

hey! a deviantart user by the name of foxdragonlover drew nsfw art of spyro and cynder. there was some backlash and they had this to say. i really dont have nearly enough energy to read through this fucking novel of a post but i skimmed it. now please pay attanetion to these parts of the post.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal!I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

what theyre saying i that as long as they fleshed out the characters and dont just see them as moving pixels on a screen they have a right to draw porn of it because it’s “development”.

now please keep in mind that it has been said spyro in the original games is 12 years old.

now although this doesnt tell us much. spyro is a child. he looks nothing like the other dragons in the game. hes closer in looks to the baby dragons in YotD that any of the elders. not to mention his voice is that of a child-teen. now yes. i understand that this is the original games.

“what about TLOS series you moron” you cry.

fear not. i have done some research on that as well.

in the first game of the legend of spyro series spyro is roughly 12 years old.

the wendy promotional toy that was released when the game was first out comes with a small tag that gives some insite into the characters of the TLOS series.

now feel free to accuse me of editing these pictures. but you’ll see here that they are in fact real.

so what does this tell us? well.. not much i guess. however im not stopping here.

“yea yea spyro is 12. but stupid! he’s only 12 in the first game!”

alright. sure! youre correct in that spyro is 12 for the first game. however he is also twelve for the second. the second game happens almost immediatly after the first. meaning at most spyro is 13 for half of it. along side this, cynder is also the same age as him. same goes for sparx.

“well, but those arent DotD!”

You are correct! They arent! however they give us a clue on how old spyro, cynder and sparx are in the third game!

this comment on a game forum mentions that spyro is 15 in the third game.

“but lolbit you fuggin gnome! some dumb forum doesnt mean anything!”

Once again you are correct! it does not. however the poster on the forum is right. spyro is fifteen as per mentioned in this screenshot of the actual dialogue of the third game.

hunter mention 3 years having passed. which would mean spyro, cynder and sparx are in fact 15. 15 is not an adult. You should not be depicting a minor in sexual situations EVER. you should not be “aging up” a character for nsfw art. and you ESPECIALLY should not be doing this when you are a 23 year old. dont believe me? their Furaffinity account specifies their age here! please be warned there is NSFW art on their account.

now im sure youre asking why im throwing such a fuss over this. well dear reader, fae/fox refuses to awknowledge that they did anything wrong and they continue to argue that “its okay if theyre mature and ive written a story for them”. that of course was paraphrasing. however here is their exact words on the matter. “But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.Drawing those grown characters doing mature things is normal.Projecting real life stuff onto characters, whether they're canonically only ever shown as children or as adults while working through their story, is normal.There is so much worse to harp on. “

please keep in mind that no where in this paragraph here is it mentioned that the characters are adults. they are stated to be mature. however, maturity does not = age. it means your maturity mentally. spyro is extremelly mature for a 15 year old. he saves the world and handles the fact that he was plucked from his home before he was hatched and was raised by a family that was not his blood family even though he is still a child. a MINOR. cynder handles her corruption and the fact that she was used as a tool for an evil master as well as she can. she’s extremelly mature for her age. but again, she is only 15.

now of course im expecting that legendary comment of

“dumpass. theyre fictional. duhhhh. they aren’t real”

and to you my dear friend I have some links for you to read. i personally would never be able to sum it up in words the way these posts have. here are some links about why fiction does in fact = reality at times.(and thank you to Jade for allowing me to use their blog for these links!)

click here, here, here, and here

now that youre done reading those, im going to analize the post created by fox/fae and discuss some of the points they made.

the first part i analized earlier im going to bring back again for one more talk.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

lets break this apart.

it does not matter if it came from a place of love. what you’re literally saying is you had strong feelings to draw spyro and cynder having sex. thats the raw of it. and yes. it is normal and okay if you would like to draw two consenting adults in a time of intimacy. however you did not draw two adults. theyre children. minors.

“But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.“

i already discussed the maturity thing. you have not yet called them adults. you said mature. which more or less translates to “im too scared to admit that i didnt age them up. theyre still minors in the picture”. this is scurting around the problem rather than addressing it. and no im not addressing the next part of the paragraph. no one asked your personal views on how tender and soft a literal minor would be during intercourse. and again. they are minors. the characters are portrayed as humanistic and sentient. and fae/fox agrees on that. that is one thing they are right for.

however. that doesn’t erase all else that they’ve done. next.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though. I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

hoo boy. alright.

alright. this is a blatant lie. they have blocked a decent amount of comments but they are lying when they say they only kepts up a few friends. not to mention they say they deleted those after. there are far more comments than 2 from a few friends.

(its scribbled out cause you can actually see the art behind it. which is still nsfw)

“I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later.”

although yes they did hide some of their comments in order to remove the whole chain its extremelly hard to believe that this is out of a place of safety for the commenter. because they left my comment up and allowed a friend of their to comment on it as well. along side this they blocked me so i couldn’t defend myself either.

and now this isnt me jumping to a conclusion. my comment is from 10 hours ago. thats a lot of time to delete a comment.

“Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

this is a long one but i feel it fits together well enough to analize it all together. but ohhh man. it sure is embarassing to have to hide the comments that are accusing you of drawing CP huh? it really is embarassing? because you hate drama right?. listen. it doesnt matter if its embarassing to you. you drew nsfw art of child characters. and now youre upset that you have to go through and hide the comments of people calling you out for it. do you realize how outlandish that is? and oof. listen. the fact that you wanna “wipe the slate clean” and “disable comments” to hide from the fact that people are calling you out, rather than admitting this and deleting the piece shows that you are quick to hide and shove all of this under the rug rather than addressing it. and as for that last comment. listen... you sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling rather than addressing peoples concerns and listening to their criticism is not you valuing love over hate. its you refusing to awknowledge your misdoings and pretending youve done nothing wrong. thats a horrible mentality to have. and of course this is going to leave a scar on your work. you drew CP and refused to awknowledge it even after people brought it to your attention.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong, but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict. It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.”

once again im going to go through this and explain why its... oh so wrong.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong “

you telling yourself you did nothing wrong and refusing to awknowledge peoples criticisms of you isnt you knowing in your “heart of hearts” that youre right. its you being ignorant to peoples concerns. and how do you know its not wrong? because you say so? because your friends say so? people have addressed this issue by giving you facts and explanations on why its wrong and you deleted these comments. that isnt right at all.

“but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . ”

Listen. these people who supported you are sad that you’re defending drawing CP. you arent the victim in this scenario. you have no right to be sad when you actively chose to draw this. it is all your doing that these people have removed their support for you. as have I. these people are not to blame because they are disgusted that you drew something like this. and we are aware this is dangerous and a major accusation. however it is true. what you have drawn, by definitions, is CP. and now i hate to be this person. but you deleted all the comments. so there really isnt proof of this. i hate to pull that card but honestly.. this is the definiton of “pics or it didn’t happen”

“If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict.”

once again. you’re to blame for this. you are playing a pity card yet you drew ths. the whole “it hurts me too” arguement is null. It doesnt work. you drew the art and chose to defend it. you have no right to be upset when people voiced their concerns about it. and conflict wouldnt arise if you actually listened to peoples concerns about this rather than immediately blocking them and playing the victim card.

“It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.”

first of all you dont need to get poetic here. you drew CP, got called out for it and then made a post crying about it all. and if your passion is drawing porn of spyro and cynder, children characetrs, then youre not a good person. and if you defending CP is really when youre going to act like an adult then you clearly have the wrong priorities.

“I'm not some perfect martyr out to try and prove i can't do any wrong.Hell those of you who watch my side account have seen my ass a LOT, and you've also seen me try to grow from it when i'm wrong.I should not have given that commenter the gratification of pissing me off so much, but it happened.I didn't exactly blow my top, but it's still something i ought to get a handle on because i know this won't be the last time someone harasses me.”

heres the thing. the only people who can vouch for you here are your followers who are defending your actions here. you can’t use your side account as an excuse of “ive grown as a person” when the account isnt public and no one has access to it other than those who you select to. and on the second part. listen. youre 23. youre over the legal age in the states and i believe everywhere else. youre a grown adult. and if you consider people saying “youre disgusting for drawing CP and defending it” as harassment then you truely do need to grow up. you shouldnt be praised for not freaking out at people for calling you out on this kind of stuff.

“As i told someone else who's barked at me, it would also be hella wrong if one character was an adult and was a child and i aged the child up so they could fuck.I HATE that shit.That to me is wrong and weird, but here they're the same age, as adults. To me, it's not weird.Honest to God the worst/weirdest age thing i ever got swept away by was ZaDr, and i've been thinking about that lately and am considering at some point going back and throwing in head canon and trying to make it better so that it isn't "nasty”. I've gotten smarter and wiser since then.So there's definitely some hypocritical material in my folders, too, and i'll go ahead and admit that.I was younger and stupider at the time, but trust me when i say i never have looked at a child character and thought of them sexually.Ever.It's wrong.”

alright first im going start by saying this is in reference to my comment. now when refering to someone, when youre trying to earn peoples pity and understanding, you shouldnt jump to insult them. i wasn’t barking aat you. i was addressing your behaviour. and now. this is the first spot youve addressed them being “adults” in your art. every other time you mention it you call them mature which is a cop out. its only when you’re finally addressing the exact issue that you start to state how you are depecting them as adults. which, aging up a character for porn is still wrong. (which i will explain a bit better after im done this). and also you arent to be praised for seeing that as wrong. thats a normal response. no one was asking if you see it as wrong. and most people assume that until stated otherwise, this is the norm. most people see that as disgusting.

now you say to you it isnt weird. listen. to you it isnt weird because its your art and you dont like being called out for drawing CP. do you see what im getting at? now also i dont know what you’re talkign about here so i wont address it incase i get the wrong impression and speak out of line, however you say you’ve never looked at a child character sexually. yet you drew cynder and spyro intimately. understand this. aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. which. is. wrong.

im not addressing the last two paragraphs on the journal as it is just them praising their followers for praising them, however i will address their comment ont their art piece.

“ And since apparently some people don't understand this, S/C are 18+ here.If anyone ever assumes i would draw children having sex, i swear to God... “

from what i can tell this was a saveface. they put this comment once they censored the piece. their fA has the piece as well and they dont address the age of the characters. which means that this was just added on to prevent them from the issues being addressed by commenters.

now from what i can tell. their AU doesnt really exist apart from some world building. i couldnt find a long detailed AU where the characters were aged up and lived a life. the only time ive found them mentioning the AU is when they talked about the art piece. whats that mean? it doesnt really exist. not publicly atleast. which means the “AU” could entirely just mean its an excuse to draw porn of the characters. now that last bit sounds like me picking for straws i understand. however it is very possible. heres a post that explains why its not good to age up characters. (understand that im aware the post is discussing and age gap however it addresses some good points)

heres the post

now if you read it you’ll see this part. “ aging up is taking two characters who would have an inappropriate relationship in canon, seeing their relationship as romantic, and then aging them up because you want some way for them to be together. and in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay”. now i want oyu to pay attention to this part. “in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay.”

you’re taking characters you saw in canon, and changing them to fit your view in a way that the public would deem okay. You’re taking something you saw in canon, in this case two children who seem at the most mildly puppy lovish (like a play ground crush), and you’re manipulating it so that you can view the canon relationship in a less taboo way. like i said earlier, aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. aging a character up doesn’t change the way you view them or their relationships. no matter how much you insist you are smarter than most and you really do view the character as an adult, you dont. thats bull.

now onto some smaller stuff that they didnt because wow. iconic i guess..

although i usually block out names this is a gross mentality. the entire comment is disgusting. and at the end “i would love to see some more sexy spyro x cynder from you” solidifies it. not to mention that fae/fox is essentially encouraging it. saying they will continue to draw it. meaning they havent learned anything from this experience. youre 23 dude.

and now some abliesm

“but lolbit you stupid bafoon. they didnt say anything themself. duuuhhh”

yes im aware. here they are saying it themself.

ahh.. gotta love that... really gotta hammer in that sparkling personality of theirs.

TD;LR foxdragonlover on deviantart, FaeFierceVulpine on furaffinity and onefiercefox here on tumblr drew cynder and spyro nsfw art (which classifies as CP) and then defended their art all the while blocking people who called them out for it. they claimed it featured 18 plus characters only after they were called out for it. they then made a post about it essentially crying about it and pinning the blame on those who called them out for it. They are a 23 year old. they’ve also said some abliest stuff and have just generally been nasty.

anyway i cant believe i did this. this post is huge and im so sorry. i didnt intend for it to be that big. i wanted to be as detailed as possible and make sure i touched on everything i could. now its 3 am and im tired. if anything looks wrong tell me and i’ll change it. i may address their comment to me later (the comment in the starting pictures). im outa energy

#cp mention #r slur #callout #important #long post #CDL

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dndfuckhouse · 5 years

Text

session 10 - old and new twisted faces

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> 🎵 Darkening Developments / Kevin Macleod

Picking up right again after a harrowing scream echoes throughout the alleys of the withered bone, Psalm and Rokka look to one another to decide their next course of action.

Psalm: it's not really our problem, is what i'd like to say but i get the feeling that you want to go help them anyways Rokka: you are correct my dear roommate. lets go! Psalm: wait wait wait

Psalm advises Rokka to go wake the others to go check it out, him staying and watching over ‘greenie’ in the meantime. Rokka runs over to the room with Keva, Han, Ezra and Plum inside and kicks up a big fuss that Plum and Ezra aggressively sleep through as the others each rouse tired and groggy. Keva throws a pillow at Ezra to rouse him out of nowhere and the four make their way over to the room where Psalm is to ask him why the hell he woke them up.

Han: psalm, why can we not sleep in peace :) Psalm: why are you asking me? you think i'm responsible for this? Han: i do not consider rokka responsible yes, i do consider u responsible Psalm: seems a bit unfair, we're both on watch here..... not really appreciating the bias

He explains the flash of light and the scream he heard to he group, everyone but Rokka decide they definitely are not getting involved even if a dude is dying but will accompany him to check it out on his insistence. The four heard downstairs while Psalm keeps watch over ‘greenie’ like a hawk.

Psalm: AN OCELOT NEVER LETS HIS PREY ESCAPE Plum: psalm meow like ocelot or no balls psalm by himself with greenie: MEWOOOOOWW ghester:

The four make their way outside the bar’s sturdy front door and listen about and hear sounds of someone moving a body, Rokka tries to pinpoint it but cant tell where its coming from. Han and Keva manage to figure it out while pulling on his ears, they creep around a corner and see a cloaked figure laying on the ground, someone standing over them.

Psalm: Ghester im thinking of a number between 1 and 2 decimals are allowed Ghester: 1.6 Psalm: Oh u got me...

The three recognise the figure over the body to be that of Vorde’s bodyguard from the ball. However Keva recognises him as her old friend Orin, seemingly appearing here from out of nowhere.

Psalm: and can you believe she thinks it's my fault ghester? after all i try to do to keep these idiots alive and she thinks it's my fault i was doing my job on watch duty properly Ghester: honestly it can be a little frustrating at times but you must make with what you have Psalm: i'm not about this bonds shit big boss has me doing but who am i to disobey

Orin looks to be staring intently at something in his hand, in his other he holds a bloodied sword, Keva stands frozen stock still watching him. Han makes to leave waving it off but Rokka shouts out into the quiet a YOU THERE immediately alerting him to their presence down the alley. Han quickly moves around the other side of the building in an attempt to flank him while Rokka continues to yell at him. Keva soon broken out of her shock pulls down her facemask and calls Orin’s name out. In the meantime Plum finally wakes and makes their way over to where Psalm is on guard, asking where everyone suddenly went.

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> 🎵 What We Could Have Become / Vampyr OST

Keva: “don't hurt him" i say like out of breath Ezra: ezra looks at you out of the corner of his eye as you say that keva

Keva: i take down my hood and take a step towards him "orin...?" Rokka: orin? you know them? Keva: i don't respond to rokka and tap another step towards orin

His eyes seem to scan you for a moment before he seems to relax slightly. He mumbles something under his breath before throwing up a quick mock salute with a lazy smile and turning, running off down the opposite end of the alley flicking something onto the corpse

Han in her attempt to sneak around ends up walking into a wall in the dark and licking a wet cave wall for a moment. Keva and Ezra give chase after Orin but seem to lose him quickly in the dark and twisting turns of the alleys. Han eventually finds her way back to the group where they stand about frustrated and empty handed. Plum upon hearing the commotion outside decides to head outside to check it out while Psalm continues watching.

Rokka: i follow behind keva and check up on her "what just happened--are you crying? oh my go-are you ok?" Keva: when i hear someone coming i try to force my breathing to calm and pull my hood up, @ rokka i just mumble "shut up" Rokka: < : (

Han: did all 3 of u lose him. i tried to go around and cut him off but u guys did a bang up job of that Ezra: you sure cut him off alright coming in about a minute later

Plum make their way outside to where the rest of the group is and ask about whats happened, the group then decide to go check the body that has been left in the alley in Orin’s wake. Keva is informed by the rest of the party that they saw Orin earlier during the ball and says he looked like Vorde’s servant, she seems utterly confused.

Plum: wow this is such a small fuckin town Han: you tellin me!!!! Plum: he seemed like a complete wimp when i saw him at the party, no offense Han: he did look like a wimp

The body appears to have been stabbed twice through the chest, blood staining he front of what looks to be somewhat fancy clothing. His pockets appear picked clean aside from a knife in its sheath Han pockets, the only other thing on him being the symbol Orin flipped onto his front, the group recognise it as the same one greenie had, a symbol of the Red Letterheads.

Han: ... why would the servant of a man who owns land be here Plum: ...owns land? Han: doesnt he? he said he owned a village Psalm: yknow ghester i feel like that vorde guy is definitely responsible for all that shit that happened at the ball Ghester: jumping to conclusions can make you blind to other things Han: SHUT UP GHESTER ME AND PSALM WE GOT THIS BITCH

Rokka: im just behind everyone watching them loot a dead body

Ezra inquires into how Keva knows Orin, she says she does but she didnt know he was still alive. She explains that Orin stole something back for a paladin that helped him before, but he got chased and hurt in the process. He gave the sword to her and told her to run and so she did and now she is here and so is he “i guess!”.

Han: well, congrats i guess, u didnt check the corpse well enough Rokka: so you........ran with a sword some dying dude gave you? Keva: he’s, an old friend

Plum: plums head working a mile a minute they are so confused

She explains she doesn't know what happened after she ran but swears he’d never do or hurt anyone like this for no reason. Rokka questions this but she doubles down on her statement. The group begin questioning if Vorde has some stake in this or is planning some kind of coup as they decide to head back upstairs, upstairs Psalm notices ‘greenie’ finally waking up again. Keva asks the group to try and not hurt Orin the next they see him and Han singles herself out as the only one who doesn't go ‘eh sure i guess’ but shrugs eventually. She also states she has a plan and picks up the body from the alley to take upstairs.

Han: smiles at keva with a corpse dripping all over me Ezra: renny is gonna be pissed if you track blood inside Han: ;asdflkwefd

Psalm and greenie have a impromptu staring contest while Han rips off her fancy shirt to wrap around the body and a bedroll to keep it from dripping all oer the floorboards. As they shuffle their way back upstairs Psalm hears them come and Cimmorro finally seems to hear them and wake up. He moves to check on Vinny before heading out to see what the group is up too.

Cimmorro: aight i go scout with everyone else and be like wuss poppin cimmorro shuffles through the door and sees han holding a dead guy in a bedroll and everyone standing around the small room Rokka: i point at dead body "thats poppin" Cimmorro: jesus, what did you guys do

Han attempts to interrogate greenie using the corpse by dropping it on the ground next to her which causes her to twitch slightly. She asks her if she knows a man named Vorde to confused response. While this goes on Ezra moves over and explains the current situation in Cimmorro’s ear to catch him up.

Rokka:

Cimmorro moves to say a prayer over the corpse while the rest of the group feel like they're getting nowhere with the questioning, leading to Psalm to get fed up and cast a suggestion spell on her.

you ask her what her connection is to a man named vorde, her face shifts back to that of a neutral one "i dont know anyone by this name"

Han: what is the goal of the red letterheads Greenie: kill the prideful, to kill the deceitful, to topple those in power, for him Han: and who might him be? Greenie: our leader, his grace Theyord Han: what does your grace look like? Greenie: he is holy, wise and aged, unmatched in his serenity and his anger, he wears it all upon himself for us to see Han: more physical features this time, greenie? Greenie: grey, old, standing tall

Psalm: kinda vampirish? red eyes? pointy ears Han: maybe a dilf? Rokka: hes got a nephew about ye high

Han: where might your boss be, greenie? you got a hideout? Greenie: he only shows up when he summons us for communion, i dont see him otherwise it is against the rules. I only meet where he asks me too Han: where does he ask you to meet? Greenie: across the city, all manner of places, but its rarely, he merely speaks to me at times, it is lonely Han: how does he communicate with you? Greenie: he speaks to me in my mind

Han: cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool Psalm: what's that like? ^__^?

Han: whats the talking like greenie? Greenie: its soothing, angelic, he tells me what to do Han: what were your plans after you murdered your target? any meet up spot? Greenie: we were supposed to run and then he'd tell us what do do, but i haven't heard anything, maybe because we messed up, he must be angry at us

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> 🎵 Controlled Chaos / Kevin Macleod

Partway through their questioning as he says his prayers over the corpse off to the side Cimmorro sees one of its fingers twitch slightly underneath the fabrics. As he inspects it further he feels an air of unease begin to radiate from it as the rest of the body begins to twitch slightly. He informs the group of whats happening and they all watch as the body begins moving unatelry on the floor of the room.

Cimmorro: i hate this bc i was abt to like bother the whole interrogation by making a prayer dialogue going like "can i sing for you 😏 " at the corpse but ok Han: hey now is ur partner supposed to come back from the dead? 😬 Rokka: is this............a zombie attack

The group debate on whether they should just stab it again or tie it up or what as the body continues shifting until its moved to fully standing in the room, its head shaking at a inhuman erratic pace, arms twitching. Rokka moves to bodyslam the body soon after it stands, attempting to pin it to the ground but the corpse seems to push him off slamming him against an opposite wall. Han soon moves after to grab it into some kinda chokehold as it stands on twitching legs.

Keva: oh fuck yall what of the red letterheads symbol Orin left wasn’t a calling card or smth but smth that turns people into zombies Han: PLEASE KILL ME NOW

Han: greenie WHAT is happening to your friend holy fuck Greenie: he’s returning, he's coming back, he's been chosen

Ghester: hmm....kind of unpleasant Psalm: what is? if you know what's happening i'd love some insight Ghester: the corpse, i thought that was obvious that who sees Psalm: i hate you so much Ghester: appreciate it Psalm: anytime

Han & Keva: how does someone get chosen? Greenie: its blissfull, he decides who to choose himself Keva: WAIT IF VINNY WAS STABBED WAS HE ALSO CHOSEN Han: OH goD PLEASE DONT SAY THAT Psalm: oh, hmmm. we've been keeping an eye on him though right?

As they speak Han holds the twitching body down and asks the others to tie it up, Ezra suggests sitting on it as well to keep it down which Han does. The body starts making groaning noises out of its mouth that sounds like a weird guttural gurgling. Han continues frantically questioning greenie as the group are all utterly creeped out and on edge.

Han: what are you chosen for? Greenie: for a great purpose, to stand by him and do his work Han: what does that BLOODY mean!!!!!!! Rokka: i cover my ears "make it stop make it stop make it stop make it sto"

Cimmorro moves to inspect the body as Han sits on it to discern what in the hell is going on. He figures something is binding the soul to this corpse in some unnatural way, the twitching being especially unnerving. Psalm begins asking the group if they should chop its head off to stop the sounds.

Han: was the man you stabbed at the party also chosen?? Greenie: i dont know i can only hope if i am killed i will come back, at least then i can stand with him, i dont know what it takes only that it happens, Frello....i am glad he was given this purpose

Plum: i'm really hoping we don't trap this guy in some kind of painful existence by doing that Psalm: why would you say that now i'm faltering

Han: what is this purpose?? is your lord gonna pop up and talk thru him? why was vinny stabbed at the party Greenie: i told you already, "kill the prideful, to kill the deceitful, to topple those in power, for him. Sometimes he speaks through others, he is a symbol of pride, he was chosen for that reason

Han asks what would happen if they hacked this dudes head off and greenie responds that her grace would become very angry. Han birefly asks if greenie recognises the name ‘Ullr’ but gets confusion back similar to when she asked Vorde’s name. Cimmorro moves to inspect the body closer and the unnatural rolling of the eyes and gurgling almost make the body look conscious, through the back of the shirt though he spots something. a faint orange light shining through. The group move to quickly rip off part of the shirt and see an old brand on his back of the red letterheads symbol, glowing a faint orange. As they do this head’s next almost twists a full 180 to watch them.

Psalm: heres what i think. that vorde motherfucker is reviving people and had his little servant, keva's friend, revive this guy for that purpose. Whether or not he's affiliated with greenie is unknown to her but it seems incredibly likely, and we should probably kill this guy before he becomes more of an issue

While the group debate Cimmorro notices that the corpses gurgling is beginning to form small words and actual sounds as if he were learning how to speak.

Psalm: WOW GOOD THING I HAVEN'T CUT HIS HEAD OFF

Cimmorro makes out the words “hello” “you” and “see” he moves to tell the group that the corpse seems like its trying to communicate with them, han keeps it pinned by its forehead on the floor. Cimmorro says hello back and gets the words ‘greetings” ‘thank you” and “accomplice”.

Cimmorro: oh okay, you're welcome i guess.. who's the accomplice ??: cimmy you hear a "yourselves" and a garbled sounding noise as the corpse lifts up the edges of his cheeks in a smile

Plum attempts to identify the symbol while they speak and understands that an animate dead spell is affecting it, as they do this the eyes of the corpse swivel over in their direction. Han asks if this is Theyord and gets a ‘your grace is i’ back from the body, she asks what the fuck hes planning to do and gets "much work" and a "will see" and a "take yourselves" and a "watching". After that final communication the body seems to twitch erratically and convulse in upon itself. the glow of the mark fading leaving the corpse unmoving and silent once again.

The group debate with one another on whether or not he knows if they're here or not or if they're being kept alive for some purpose or not. Cimmorro getting somewhat paranoid from the experience leaves the room to check on Vinny and Cole, seeing them fine and asleep in their beds. He waits in their room as they others continue to discuss the state of things, watching over them for the time being. The group decide the plan hasn't changed, gather information and move afterwards, find the letterheads first and if they cant find anything they decide they’ll head to Vargonia.

Psalm: who is orin anyways? friend? family? Keva: i'm quiet for a bit "what i have left of a family" Psalm: i see

The group minus Cimmorro think on what to do with greenie now and come to the decision its better if they kill her and burn her body along with the other corpses so they dont come back again somehow. They try and figure out how to off her in the most painless way possible, Plum giving Han the petals of a plant to feed her after she knocks her unconscious. Keva goes to join Cimmorro in the room watching Vinny and Cole as the rest take the two downstairs and burn them, the smell its pretty putrid.

Han: i was doing so good on my no killing streak until this job came up Psalm: yknow i'm realising kind of belatedly we could also just bring her to the authorities Han: ............

Cimmorro: this is gonna be a long day huh kev... what are they doign out there Keva: i'm like face down on the extra bed and i say, muffled "fuck if i know"

The two discuss if Vinny will be okay to which Cimmorro says he seems to be getting better but he defintely wants to keep a close eye on him.

Keva: i turn my face to the side "...can you teach me some time? to idk, help fix people i guess, since it looks like we're stuck together" Cimmorro: oh??? well, i could. since i'm also learning and looks like that will be the case huh" i shrug "you're gonna owe me though >:) Keva: i shrug "i already owe you for the time in the basement so whatever i guess" Cimmorro: i lift my brow and start doing a thinking for a while before i go "ohhhhhhhhh yeah wow you remembered that? i didn't even think about it, it's sort of just habit to me so...it's fine but i'll be keepin tabs now hakhak" Keva: i do that like kinda laugh where you just expel some air out your nose before turning back to facedown in my pillow Cimmorro: i sigh and say "you're not so bad kevster. get some rest... you're gonna need a lot lol" Han: t poses into the room

The rest of the group make their way back up to the room post burning and rouse cole from her slumber bleary eyed telling Cimmorro what they did. Han goes to shake Vinny awake to Cimmorro’s huffing over rousing his patient as he slaps her arm away. Vinny grumbles awake and upon seeing Cimmorro sits up ramrod straight in bed grabbing him with a shout.

Vinny: YOU!! Cimmorro: HELLO? SIR? Vinny: his hair is also a mess, he grabs your shoulders for a moment before moving a little closer "...I THINK..." Cimmorro: whoahhh personal space

Plum: plum is going to go have a stress ulcer in the corner of this room Cimmorro: pet rokka to feel better Plum: why must we remove rokka's humanity Rokka: he would not mind tbh pls rokka needs comfort too

The group catch him up on the events post him getting stabbed up till now along with Cole as the two get ready to head out with the rest of them. The group decide on different groups again since they no longer need a group to stay and watch ‘greenie”. A group to go above ground and sneak into Vinny’s store and another to ask around down in the cove. Vinny decides to join the above ground group listing the laundry list of things left unattended up there, Cim follows wherever Vinny is going for the time being. While they discuss this Rokka briefly asks Vinny if he recognises the Theyord to which he thinks on and says maybe.

The group split becomes -> Han / Keva / Cole / Vinny / Cimmorro to head aboveground -> Psalm / Rokka / Plum / Ezra to stay belowground

The aboveground group tell Plum they will also retrieve some of their items for them if they can. They begin discussing and managing their disguises, as they do Cole hands Vinny her hat to replace the one he lost when he was stabbed.

The group decide to meet back at this point in 24 hours. If they dont see anyone by the meeting time then escape as you are now. Ezra notes if his group wont make it he may have a way to contact them if so but not vice versa. the group also decide to use a special code with one another to make sure they dont get duped by any future clones.

Rokka: i vote for obama take the wheel Ezra: who is obama Rokka: my great great great grandfather

Psalm: A code is a good idea Ezra: im gonna have to agree with psalms suggestion on this one

Psalm: How about Q: "where were you up to the night of the ball" "A: "i was having a grand old time"

As the group break to head their separate ways Cole moves to give the downstairs team a hug before she leaves but it soon evolves into giving everyone a hug as they leave. The hugging is spread all around.

Psalm: Ill give you a hug han (: Han: glares at psalm but opens her arms Psalm: ..........it was a joke Cimmorro: shakes my head towards psalm

They group splits off for the time being after the hug parade pulls into town, they head out to attend to their tasks, mission and goal on the mind. Theories are swarming in their heads and questions left unanswered, starting their day by pushing through the darkness ahead.

---

Notes

🔮 Psalm rolled a 25 on their disguise check

🏹 Han takes the ring and disguises herself as - a half-orcish man as short as she can manage, she also obtains a 「 Poison Dagger✨」 from the 🔪Assassin

🍺 Plum asks for - their large pot of pink potion / the rest of their ingredients in their small bags

🐺 Rokka tears his shirt off when everyone began talking about clothes ( #freethenipple ) and covers himself in a cloak

🗡 Keva and 💎 Cimmorro wear their cloaks over their outfits and 💎 Cimmorro removes most of his jewellery and rolls a 14 on disguise

#recaps #181227 #YEET!

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datingadviceonreddit · 3 years

Link

If youre reading this im hoping its because youre also a lonely man.Ive been alone my entire life, no friends, no family. But this subreddit isnt where you want to go to learn anything about dating advice, or.... sex. This sub is full of the worst most hostile people, and if youre one of those people, maybe this may get you to take a long hard look at yourself. Today 2 girls told me my life doesnt matter, that im ugly, annoying. Im sure the women of this sub will say I deserve it and so on. But these are women who I thought were my friends, but... as an ugly male, this is always a stretch. No woman wants to be friends with an ugly male. So im hideous and deformed, im so ugly that people give me second looks because im so strange to look at. I can be so kind and generous "THATS YOUR FAULT!" says the women of this sub. "YOU FELL FOR THE TRICKS AND LIES, THAT IS YOUR FAULT!"I took some notes and wrote them down and I am going to list them here, they are valid points and im sure ill be shamed and gas lit for having these thoughts, but here we go.One big issue ive noticed is these days if it doesnt generate profit, if it doesnt bring in money, it is seen as useless. They scream and scream you need to have hobbies and skills, but mention youre learning this, or maybe reading this, or you do that; "and.... what does that do? HUH!? HUH!?!?!?!? whats that do for you!?" they are saying its useless, that it has no value, because its not wage-labor or bringing in a lucrative income.In the United States we live in a thing called a guilt based culture. A hyper individualistic and guilt based culture, its no secret that social systems exist to keep people in line; the guilt based system works well with the individualistic culture of the U.S. because you can be encouraged to feel guilty and thats your business. Women do this to men on here constantly, enforcing the "guilt" you should feel from being.... attracted to them. "uhm, its wrong to ask women out...." they are attempting to make you feel guilt and get satisfaction from it. Women hold the most power in this culture, and you have nothing you can do to them. They can treat you how they want such as telling me I am worthless, and dont matter.... you can say "well fine, never speak to me again." and they will giggle and laugh, "HAHAAA!!!!! GOOD! WE GOT ALPHAS ON OUR SIDE!"The second big thing ive noticed is the whole "its your personality" bullshit thats regurgitated on here. Its actually really inconsiderate, cruel, and dishonest to tell someone who is ugly that they are being treated like trash by women because... "their personality". Its part of this guilt based thing, they want you to look at yourself, wonder what exactly is wrong, and to sit in guilty silence.On some dating sites you can actually see who visits your profile AND what pics they look at. I had an account on one of these sites and never ever got matches, so id message random girls if I liked their profile (this will get guilt tripped im sure, as if I should feel guilty for messaging women on dating sites) id notice once they read my message, theyd go to my profile and look at a few of my pics, then.... blocked.Obviously what happened was they read my message, decided to see what I look like, saw im deformed and hideous, and blocked me. If you actually see that and say, "nah it was your personality." you are fucking delusional.On a side note as a kid one time, and this goes into social influences on our lives... I was young and riding the bus, and there was no seats open. Only 2 people to a seat they said. I saw only one seat with one person in it, and people obviously didnt want me with my deformed hideousness to sit next to them, so I sat in this open seat next to this girl, I said to her... "hey im sorry, but no other seats are open." she looked at me and started yelling "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO?" I told her... "uhhh you..." she goes, "youre a fucking weirdo!" and climbed over me to sit with 2 other girls... 3 to a seat which you arent allowed to do. I said "hey... i didnt do anything..." and one of the other girls (notice they are all female) turns around to say "SHUT UP! nobody likes you!"I started to cry...People on this sub, when I bring up situations like that, tell me im "playing victim" that I deserved it. Fuck... im so tired of being so alone.They claim women are cruel for their "own protection" which is the most sexist fucking thing to say on earth. As if all men are fucking animals who cant control themselves and need to be treated like shit. its an excuse to treat men bad, and is sexist.Lets move on, the third thing.... uhmm wanting dates or sex is not a fucking mental problem. If a man is struggling with dates or sex, to tell him he needs therapy and fucking mental evaluations for being curious on dating or sex, is fucking dehumanizing. Just because someone wants dates or sex does not mean they need to be doped up on psych drugs ffs.If you are seeking advice on this sub, be prepared for that. They will fucking try to diagnose you on here.I think the "youre playing victim" trope is overused as fuck... it just invalidates (i hope im using this word right) a mans emotions, its saying "get over it" in so many words.And finally, those one guys will hound you and have the women join them as symbols of how you should be...yeahhh im talking about those guys who are like "im a 45 year old virgin! and you dont hear me complaining! im fine with being alone forever right girls!" and they go "YEAH! SEE BE LIKE HIM!" while they have hook up sex with other guys and shame you for being curious about it.they are virtue signaling and trying to guilt you into thinking being alone is acceptable.Honestly, just move on to a different sub. Watch the hostility of the comments I get for evidence, they will be incoherent angry rants how "women dont make mistakes" and wont even address the issues.Evidence enough. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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yhellowmil28 · 3 years

Text

Closure

My last letter to you..

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

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forethan21 · 3 years

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Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

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killjoyscreens · 7 years

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Im a lil late but..

i know yesterday was Mental Health Day, and i kinda totally ignored it on tumblr. thats bc i DIDNT FUCKIN KNOW it was Mental Health Day until i watched dan’s livestream, bc America doesnt give a shit about mental health.

anyways, i cant quite remember if it was yesterday or the day before, but i had an emotional breakdown after my friend yelled (not realy cuz it was a text) a paragraph at me about she had learned to move on past cutting yourself and learning to love and appreciate yourself. so i lost all sense of rationality and totally spilled everything in my mind to her. after i wrote her up four paragraphs of my response as to why i actually cut, she came back and replied to me with a pic of Josh Dun next to a deer and said, “i wish i was that deer.” WHO DOES THAT

after that, i took a shower and in that shower i acted kinda like i was in an interview and talked out loud to myself about why suicide and self harm is bad.

now, i dont know whats worse, that i said it like i was in a conversation OUT LOUD, or the fact that i had to say or think it at all.

then earlier today, a coulke hours ago, i went to take a shower, and my bingrother was in there. hes almost two years older than me, has never been ien allon an actual relationship, and is probably gay but im not sure. he was going to take a shower too, and my house only has two bathrooms, and one is my parents and i didnt have the time for that. so he PULLS MY HAIR, i have really long hair, so it hurt kinda a lot, so i yelled out. not to be a tattletale or anything, but out of sheer agony. he goes frikin insane and drags me out of the damn bathroom, and i proceed to walk in my room and spend about 20 minutes crying my eyes out bc i dont feel loved by anyone. i spend at least another 25 minutes just laying face down on my bed thinking about how completely pointless life is. i did eventually have my shower though.

i feel like the moral of this autobiography is, mental health is EXTREMELY underrated in the US, and that truly has an affect on young minds.

due to this underratedness, my parents have no idea that i have existential crises every couple weeks, or that i cut myself, or that i cry at least every other day. if the united states valued mental health over statewide testing, maybe more people would PASS statewide testing. tomorrow, for i stance, i have to take a super-important-for-no-reason-at-all math test, and im not even allowed to wear a WATCH. not like an Apple watch or whatever, justa regular digital watch with the time and date. Why this is crucial to taking a test, i have no clue. What i do know, is that mental health is an ISSUE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF KIDS AND TEENS STRUGGLE WITH, and no one in America goves a fuck.

If you somehow stumbled across this, please reblog if you think the US needs to make mental health a priority. Also, you are loved. At least by me.

#mental health day #hello yellow #america sucks #awareness #self help #self love #self healing #spread the word #ADOPT ME PLEASE #stay alive

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oraclesoftime · 5 years

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Futures Known But Unspoken

CHAPTER 20 Patience is A Virtue Lane was woken up by someone shaking her shoulders, the woman groaning slightly before turning her head to see Balin standing behind her. “Wake up and gather yourself lassie; we’re leaving,” the older dwarf claimed, releasing her shoulder. Lane groaned again but nodded, knowing that they had stayed long enough as it was. Balin quickly left the room as Lane managed to drag herself out of her bed and throw on her clothes, flinching and letting out a small whimper when the collar of her tunic brushed against her head. After readying herself and quietly leaving her room, she quickly found the others silently standing by the stairs, Belle appearing behind her not a minute later with something strapped onto her back that Lane didn’t recognise. “Let’s go,” Thorin ordered, leading the way. Everyone nodded and followed after their leader, being sure to keep quiet so that their leaving would go unnoticed. Belle quickly fell in step with Lane giving her friend a groggy smile which Lane did her best to return. “Is that a bow and quiver?” Lane asked with a small laugh. “Yeah, as much as I wanted to stick by your side when you were knocked out, everyone kept hounding me to do something. Glorfindel was actually the one who helped me to learn, this is the bow he offered to make me yesterday,” Belle hummed, taking the weapon off of her back and showing it to her friend. “So that’s why you seemed so relaxed around him; you’d met him before,” Lane hummed, finally connecting the dots. “Well I’m glad you weren’t moping, not like it ever does any good.” Belle rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across her features, pulling on the bow string a few times causing it to make a small humming noise before placing it on her back once again. As the group reached the borders of Rivendell, rather than taking the path they had coming in, Thorin lead them out a hidden eastern road that had them climbing up a nearby cliff. “Well I hope you’re happy,” Lane whispered. “About what?” Belle asked, giving the taller a confused look. “We won’t be riding ponies until… later,” Lane snickered, giving her friend a knowing look. Belle couldn’t help but beam, the smile quickly leaving her face however when Lane teetered to the side mid-step, Belle’s arms instantly shooting up to steady her. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Belle asked, a small whimper in her voice. “I’ll be fine, just a little woozy,” Lane sighed, managing to steady herself before walking forward again. Belle could only nod as she continued to follow after her friend. “Be on your guard, we’re about to step over the edge of the wilds,” Thorin claimed, no longer having to whisper. “Balin. You know these paths, lead on.” The older dwarf nodded and lead the way further along the path with the others following behind him. As the two women continued to follow the others, Lane’s body slipped again, Belle releasing a loud gasp as she reached forward to catch her friend, Bofur however being faster, spun around and caught the woman’s shoulder. “Easy there Champion, don’t want to have to shave the other side of yer head,” he teased, not able to hide the concerned look in his eye. “Thanks Bofur, coming from you that’s a compliment,” Lane snickered with a small sigh. The miner nodded and helped her to stand upright again before beginning to walk again, Lane and Belle right behind him. The company managed to find their way out of the rocky path with Balin’s apparent knowledge of the road and soon came upon a vast field of dry grass. They kept a steady pace, not too fast but not too slow, and for every step they took, Lane could feel Thorin’s glare boring into her from the front of the group. She wasn’t necessarily slowing them down; Oin only ever being a few feet ahead of herself, Belle and Bilbo; the healer choosing to stay near the back of the group should Lane need aid. While she was indeed grateful for his thoughtfulness towards her, it also made her feel weak and in need of protection, something that took a huge blow to her pride. Sure there was the occasional misstep or flash of dizziness that raced through her head, but it wasn’t anything serious; Belle hadn’t told her that her wound was suddenly bleeding again so there was no need to make such a big fuss. It was when a particularly painful throb wracked not just her head, but her entire body when Lane fell to her knees with a painful yelp. “Lane!!” Belle cried, dashing up to her friend. Oin was kneeling by Lane’s side in record time while Belle’s cry echoed across the open field, all of the dwarves turning to see what the fuss was about. “What hurts lassie,” Oin asked, gently placing his palm on her forehead. “N-no… I’m fine. I just slipped is all,” Lane groaned, clenching her eyes shut in a vain attempt to will the pain in her skull away. Inwardly growling at herself, she pushed herself off of the ground and stood straight, only for the pain to hit her again like a freight train, causing her eyes to cross before falling to her knees again. “Lane stop, you’ll only hurt yourself!” Bilbo pleaded, his hand grasping his friend’s shoulder. “He’s right lassie, you need to stop and rest,” Oin agreed with a nod. “What’s going on, we need to keep moving,” Thorin’s voice growled as he stomped over to them. “Thorin-” “She needs to rest laddie, or we’ll be carrying a corpse to Erebor,” Oin scolded, looking up at their leader. “We don’t have time to rest, Durin’s day is nearly upon us!” Thorin growled. “I can carry her...” Kíli offered as he and the others walked over. “No, if we are attacked we may need every able bodied warrior to fight, having her on your back will leave me with one less fighter,” Thorin claimed. “Thorin-” Balin began, but was interrupted by the leader. “You either stand and walk on your own two feet or we leave you here!” Thorin barked, glaring down at Lane, the woman hanging her head as she willed herself not to cry from pain. “Uncle, enough!” Fíli demanded, stepping in between the two. “We’ve been walking for hours, a little rest could do all of us some good.” Thorin was about to retort when Lane stood and put a shaking hand on Fíli’s shoulder. Pushing him slightly out of the way, Lane raised her head and glared at Thorin. “I thought you were in a rush, Lord Dwarf… what are you doing here standing around?” she growled. Thorin simply spun around on his heels and began walking away, barking at the others to continue as well. “Lane stop, you can’t keep forcing yourself like this!” Belle pleaded, standing up and holding Lane still. “I’m not going to be a liability Izz!” Lane barked, turning to glare at her friend. “I am not weak! I am not frail! And I will not be subject to the scorn of someone with a jagged key and map shoved up his fucking ass, all because I was clocked on the head by an orc!!” Belle stood motionless, her eyes wide and fear filled as Lane turned away from her, taking quick but staggering steps to follow the others. “La-” “Don’t touch me!” Lane barked, harshly brushing off Fíli’s outstretched hand as she passed him. Fíli exchanged a worried look with his brother, their gazes shifting between a clearly enraged Lane and a now forlorn looking Belle as Bilbo rested a hand on her elbow. -=- After a few more hours of traveling, the company finally took a rest near a small grove of trees, almost every one of them releasing a round of groans when they were finally able to rest their weary and aching feet.Lane and Belle sat somewhat away from each other, Lane refusing to meet anyone’s eyes as she kept her back turned to them while Belle let out a small sigh. “Is she still avoiding everyone?” Bilbo asked, walking over to the smaller woman and sitting beside her, his eyes not leaving Lane’s back. Belle nodded and pouted. “I can understand why she’d be peeved, but that doesn’t mean she should just shut us out,” she huffed. “I’d go over there and smack some sense into her but I’m afraid she’d smack me back, and Lane hits hard…” Bilbo hummed and nodded, turning his eyes back to Lane’s form before giving a determined huff and standing. Belle’s hand shot up and grasped his wrist, causing him to stop and look down at her. “Wait, are you seriously going to go and talk to her? She’ll eat you alive; Lane’s almost as bad as Thorin!” Belle hissed, trying to keep her voice down as the sun got lower and lower in the sky. “Lady Isabella, I know that you and Lane have been friends for a very long time, but I believe that there is one thing that even you don’t quite understand about her,” Bilbo hummed with a small smile. Belle’s grip on his wrist slackened as Bilbo took this chance to walk over to the taller of the two, Lane having shifted so that she could lean her right shoulder against a nearby tree along with the uninjured side of her head. “Lane?” Bilbo called quietly, not wanting to disturb her if she was sleeping. “What?” Bilbo jumped slightly at the irritated tone in her voice but didn’t allow himself to turn around, instead taking a few more steps forward so that he was standing by her left shoulder and sat beside her. The hobbit leaned forward slightly to get a better look at his friend’s face and gave a small whine when he realized just how exhausted the taller woman looked. “Are you just going to stare at me?” her voice croaked, eyes not opening. “Lane, you must know that after all this time we’ve spent traveling together, that none of us view you as a burden nor a liability,” he began, keeping his voice level and supportive. “You are probably the strongest and most brave-hearted woman I’ve met, and that’s saying a lot if you recall me having Mirabella as an Aunt.” Lane couldn’t help the small breath of laughter that escaped her lips, her face relaxing at the mention of the hobbit woman. Bilbo gained a smile of his own on his face and he reached out to place a comforting hand on the woman’s knee. “Lane, I cannot speak for every member of this company, but I can easily name a handful that value your presence on this quest. I myself am quite happy that you as well as Lady Isabella decided to come along, and I’m certain she feels the same.” “That’s not a handful Bilbo,” Lane chuckled, her eyes finally opening to look at him out of the corner of her eye. “Well Fíli and Kíli both seem to have gotten attached to you as well as Oin and Bofur. Gloin I’ve noticed isn’t as grumpy around you anymore and I’ve seen the friendship that is growing between yourself and Bifur as well. Dwalin also seems to enjoy your company seeing as he still calls you Champion. Basically everyone who does call you that I believe you can view as a comrade and friend in this venture,” Bilbo claimed, shifting slightly so that Lane could see past him and look at each dwarf as he mentioned them. “I’m sorry that Thorin has been so hard on you since the warg pack, but just because he’s having behavioural issues doesn’t mean everyone shares his view, especially when it comes to you.” Lane lowered her eyes in shame and wrung her hands together before giving a sigh. “I’m a shitty friend… aren’t I?” Lane sighed. “I’m sorry Bilbo.” “Apology accepted, though I don’t believe I’m the one you should be apologizing to,” the hobbit hummed, nodding behind them with a knowing look. Lane sighed through her nose before nodding and moving to stand. Bilbo shot to his feet and offered the woman his hand, Lane pausing for a moment before accepting his aid. Once she was on her feet, Lane managed to walk over to where Belle sat, the smaller woman not raising her head to look up at her. “You still suck, but I’m willing to forgive your flaws and call a truce,” Lane hummed. Belle’s eyes widened and spun around to look up at her friend and give her a baffled look, only to catch sight of the shit eating grin stretched across the taller’s lips. “My flaws? You’re no saint yourself, you know!” Belle laughed, understanding the meaning behind her friend’s words. “You’re right, I’m no saint; I’m closer to being a Bishop, or a Cardinal,” Lane hummed, placing a hand on her chest while pushing her shoulders back with mock dignity. Belle’s mouth opened and closed a few times in befuddlement before she let out a round of laughter, having to cover her mouth with her hands so it wasn’t too loud. “You are beyond hopeless,” the smaller laughed, having to wipe away a few tears in her eyes. “Damn straight, makes life more fun,” Lane scoffed, finally sitting down beside her friend. “I am sorry for yelling at you though, you didn’t deserve to get the brunt of it.” Belle hummed and gave her friend a smile and a pat on the knee, silently telling her that all was forgiven. Bilbo soon came over to join the women and the trio sat and talked for a little while longer until Thorin told everyone to get some rest. -=- The next day continued on in this general pattern. The company traveled almost non-stop from sunup to dusk, found a place to camp for the night before planning on repeating the process again. Lane was still miffed at Thorin, Belle sharing her friend’s feeling while Thorin never spared them a glance, his eyes always set on the Misty Mountains in the east. Bilbo had remained with the women and would help Belle to silently support Lane whenever the taller woman would trip or get a head rush and have to pause to clear her vision.The morning after Lane had apologized to Belle, she had done the same to Fíli for her harshness towards him only wanting to help. If the blond prince felt any ill will or discontent towards her for her actions, he never stated so and accepted her apology with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. “Nothing to worry about, Champion,” he had said. “I understand all too well that Thorin can be a bit hard headed and overly driven.” When the sun began to set that evening, the company once again found a place to camp for the night, Lane, Belle and Bilbo taking out their bedrolls and lining them up beside each other not too far away from the dwarves. While doing so, it found the trio trading stories and experiences from their short time in Rivendell. “He just walked in!?” Bilbo gasped, looking like he had been personally put through the ordeal. “I cannot believe Kíli would do such a thing…” “I don’t think dwarves know how to knock,” Lane snickered, patting her friend on the shoulder as Belle hung her head. “Fíli did the same thing to me when Gilraen took me to the baths.” “WHAT!?” the two squawked, gaping at the tallest. “And you didn't tell me?” Belle accused. “What would you have done, defended my honour? Too late, honour gone.” Lane hummed. “Though I don't think Fíli minded~” Bilbo sputtered at the implication she was making while Belle smacked her friend on the arm. “I'm joking I'm JOKING!” Lane laughed, shifting slightly so she was further from her friend’s reach. “My Lady…” The three turned to see Kíli was standing by Belle’s side with a smile stretched across his lips and bow in hand. “I'm not interrupting anything am I? There are some trees not too far off that may serve as good target practise, especially since I understand you now have a bow of your own,” the brunet prince claimed, nodding at said weapon resting not to far away with her others things. Belle’s eyes widened slightly in excitement before she remembered her friend, turning to look at Lane only for the taller to roll her eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I have my secondary mother hen to cluck over me while you’re abusing the trees,” Lane chuckled, thumbing over at Bilbo as the hobbit gave her a pout. “Who are you calling a mother hen?” Bilbo huffed. “Would you rather me call you a quack?” “That is no better!” Belle giggled and stood up after picking up her bow and quiver, allowing Kíli to lead the way over to their makeshift target range.“I know I said that it’s alright, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to pout,” Lane huffed, doing just that. Bilbo chuckled and patted the woman on the back as they watched the dwarven archer help Belle with her standing and drawing postures. “You know Bilbo, you could probably do with a few lessons on how to stab people,” Lane snickered, looking at the hobbit out of the corner of her eye. “Make use of that dagger you’ve got hanging at your hip.” “Balin called it a letter opener,” Bilbo scoffed, drawing the sword and running his finger along the flat of the blade. “Just because it’s small in size doesn’t make it useless.” “No, I agree. Back home our people have a saying; Great things come in small packages,” Lane hummed, resting her jaw in her palm as she smiled at him. “I’m sure that if you keep it by you Bilbo, that it’ll see its fair share of battles.” The hobbit seemed approving of her words as Lane stopped herself from grinning too much, knowing full well that this ‘letter opener’ would serve a greater purpose than any other sword among them at this moment in the future, both near and far.“I’m not interrupting an important pep talk am I?” Lane and Bilbo turned to see that Fíli had walked over to the two, no doubt in search of his brother. “Not at all,” Bilbo hummed, motioning for him to join them. Fíli did just that, sitting on Lane’s other side and allowing his eyes to drift over to the two archers not far away. “Has Thorin managed to glare a hole in the back of Izz’s head yet? She’s stealing the attention of one of his fighters,” Lane huffed, giving Fíli a sidelong glance. “Not yet; Balin and Dwalin keep trying to talk some sense into him about the treatment that he’s giving you two. He naturally won’t hear any of it right now, but I think he’s still a little jaded about the fact that we’re now on a time limit,” Fíli hummed, leaning back to rest on his hands. Lane rolled her eyes but didn’t have the energy to vent, not only that but just because Fíli understood that Thorin was being a dick didn’t mean he was automatically the best person to talk to about said dwarf lord.“You know that he’ll come around eventually right? Not just for you and Lady Isabella, but with you as well Bilbo,” Fíli claimed, looking around Lane to give the hobbit a slightly apologetic look. “I figured as much, from what I understand, you folk are very tight knit with your own kin and kind, I wasn’t really expecting to be welcomed with open arms in the first place,” Bilbo said with a small laugh. Fíli nodded and turned his attention back to the woman beside him, catching sight of Lane’s pout causing him to chuckle. He reached over and patted her on the shoulder causing her to shift slightly to look back at him. “Patience is a virtue Champion,” he laughed. “Patience is in low supply when you have a stubborn iron rod as a troupe leader,” Lane scoffed. “...but I’ll try…” Fíli’s grin grew and he nodded, turning back to the duo by the trees as Belle fired an arrow from her bow and hit a nearby tree with a hard ‘thunk’.

#Futures Known But Unspoken #The Hobbit Fanfiction #Tolkien fanfiction

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teddy-feathers · 7 years

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@avidlebon i uh. Tangled maybe? Ive seen the movie not the new show. Dads... Got the mindset of hes the man of the house. His way or the highway he knows best. Hes not a bad guy I'm just... So fed up with how he talks and behaves and his "hes in charge" attitude. I'm... Tired of feeling disrespected that nothing i do or care about matters my opinions are *wrong* like dude maybe I dont have all the info but im tired of your holier than thou attitude. And yeah its little shit like things only go where he says they go and he throughs a fit like a CHILD if things are out of place i realize its not my house but when him and mom disagree mom basically sucks it up and doesnt argue she just does what she wants around him which just adds drama later or like. He gets to be loud. Or vent. Or bitch. Or make HORRIBLE remarks and insinuations like i dont care if im being a smart ass bitch from hell (even discounting that any more if Im back talking its because HE FUCKING STARTED IT) you do not get to say i need to watch my damn tone or youre going to knock my teeth down my throat Like no. You havent really touched me or beat me but that doesnt mean saying shit like thats okay and i swear tk god he ever grabs me by the shirt front to get in my face EVER again NO MATTER the provocation or how legit he thinks his reason is I'm WALKING to Virginia. And for the love of god I mean you dont get to tell me to watch MY attitude watch MY tone and act and behave like THAT i SWEAR I'm getting SO CLOSE to just saying "either keep a civil tone or shut up" because damn it I dont care if hes paying the bills or that its his house Im SICK of how he gets to be an asshole one sec and then we all sit around and talk about something light or watch shows like nothing happened because nothing did. I dont care that hes BETTER my tolerance and acceptance has a lower base line for this shit. Like if nothing else I got out of going to see a shrink is knowing that I'm an adult and a person deserving of space and consideration - that even if I wasnt an adult I SHOULDNT have to put up with this behavior if it upsets me. and you know if he wants to play the "you know where the door is" card... Ive left before. It was because of my issues not because of him but... By acknowldging and attempting to deal with my shit... NOT responsible for dealing with HIS shit. He needs to control his temper. Im not saying hes not allowed to be angry in his own god blessed house im saying how he expresses it amd how he makes it our problem how discussions are a MANDITORY sham how disrespectful he is of our time... When i work or have appointments they need to be on the calender the sooner the better. But weekend with nothing scheduled comes up we have plans. Plans that when I ask I get youll see. Or we're doing cleaning. Cleaning what? Vacuuming laundry? Anything I can do and work around? No dont do things until i tell you. Or i wake up and I wanted to go to a cat cafe. Or job hunting. And suddenly we're going grocery shopping and sense we're out lets stop here here and here or hey i need to talk to you when youre done talking to your friend. ... Um my one friend (he doesnt count online people) that i talk to? That i MAYBE can talk to once a month? That if i get on the phone with were prob spending the rest of the night bsing? I'm not going to be done so if you want to talk tell me that and well talk and ill call my friend back after. Dont get fucking huffy like im prioritizing them over you when i hardly talk to them, and you HAVE to notice how freaked i get when you ambush me with talks. and like. Tuck in your shirt. Do something with your hair. You look un professional i wouldn't hire you. Or you know i have somewhere to be and you stop me on.my way out the door? I dont care if YOU dont think i need to leave an hour early. why the fuck would you think thats okay? And just this whole "walk it off pussy, people and their fragile fucking egos" like hello. Daughter youre talking to? The one who has to "walk off" the panic attacks facing YOUR attitude gives me however unintentional to walk around and smile and keep the conversation light? Who has to respond to everything you say and navigate the conversation like a fucking pro to avoid things I cant stand talking about with you because it makes it worse? The person who HAS to compulsively fixate on EVERYONES tone and attitude and when feels over whelmed hides in the bathroom trying not to cry and yet has STILL managed to fucking work cashier jobs most of her working life? Yeah standing right here asshole. YOU dont get to tell anyone how much is too much for them to handle, you dont get to caat shame on "my generation" and therefore ME when on what I can or cannot handle. You dont get to fucking decided whats too much for me to handle or how far I have to push myself to be worthy i have PROVED myself to your standards, been homeless and emotionally wrecked contemplated suicide NOT because im a "coward" but because being ALIVE has at times caused myself and those i care about more pain than i could POSSIBLY have value. I worked my ass off alone, did things the "hard way" thinking itd prove something to me or to you and Not one god damn thing changed and you know what? It WAS too much to handle alone - i pushed myself so far outside being okay that the ONLY god blessed reason I AM alive is that my best friend who you think so LITTLE of was there and so was her mom and hell Ive been to therapy. Ive struggled and come so far and i am NOT going to let you make me feel like nothing. I can feel valuless all by myself, can feel like shit all by myself, have enough of my OWN negitivity to carry I REFUSE to carry yours. And i DONT have to. I DONT. NO ONE DOES. Even if putting up with it means another day with a roof and food even if there was NO way of me surviving on my own that doesnt mean i deserve to be treated this way. And im lucky because i have other people in my life willing to help if i call. So i can afford to be upset.... Even if it makes me feel guilty. Even if i feel unreasonable. I may not be able to sit down and tell him he needs to learn to respect others - or at least me and mom that his behavior is unexceptable to me... But its freeing in a way to know i dont. That im allowed to be mad at him for it. I didn't mean to rant. Apparently just needed it. Sorry.

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