#but 3 days later the surgeon did it out of pocket and now hes on new chemo but im still not with him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kuromochimi · 3 years

Text

For as long as my heart beats, I will.

Sakusa x f!reader one shot

♡ It was beyond agonizing having to grow up caged in the hospital’s four walls. The smell of antiseptic, the occasional cries from other patients’ bereaved loved ones, the endless pills and constant painful treatments... but the most painful of them all is the uncertainty of living another day. What a joy would it be to find something to look forward to everyday.

word count: 11, 832

Content & Warnings: fluff to angst, talks of sickness (cancer and treatments related to it), kissing, mentions of blood, injections, major character death, let me know if I missed any

- I did as much research as I could about the medical terms and info here. Please do politely point it out if I made any mistakes and let me correct them! <3

“You should definitely contact ‘make a wish”. At least get your last hurrah before we both can’t function anymore”

Last. It bothered you. The word suggested endings and you sure as hell would do anything to avoid meeting yours. Not just yet. But you knew that reality was much more different than you’d like and your friend, aimi, another cancer patient who grew up in the same ward as yours, was right. You were bound to die anyway, might as well do what you wanted to.

“Aimi stop saying that stuff. Come on, lighten up a little! Your favorite handsome doctor won’t like it if you two were to leave me behind, you know?”

“You’re one to speak, toya. You’re healthy as a horse”

One of your doctors, komori motoya, who was interning, was one of your closest friends along with aimi. He has been on your case for roughly two years at the moment and being in the same age bracket, you all got along quite well. Safe to say, he was the breath of fresh air and life amongst the three of you.

“Would you two shut up, you’re making my head pound” it wasn’t an overstatement. Your head really was hurting. Severely. It’s been… a year since you’ve been diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia. Though, you’ve been in and out (mostly in) of the hospital since you were five years old. You’re 25 now. Treatments and medicine were helping with the symptoms but it’s probably only a matter of time before it gets worse for you. As a child, you had constant illnesses. Constant difficulty breathing, weak limbs, inability to digest food at times, and now this. The hospital was more or less your home.

“Oh yn, aimi, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you two later when I go on rounds”

“Have fun with the surgery” you reply

“All I’m supposed to do is stand and watch though”

“Well yeah I wouldn’t trust you with a scalpel just yet” aimi teased

Komori snickered before running off to prepare to view another surgery.

“Must be nice” aimi sighed

“What is?”

“To be like toya. You know, he’s constantly thinking about his future as a surgeon. All I do is think if I’d still wake up when I take naps”

“Hm. Well what’s your dream anyway? If you know, if we weren’t sick”

“Find a good looking man and ask him to rail me”

“AIMI? There are children here!”

“Ease up yn. Jesus, you’re such a prude”

“L/N, Y/N? Miss L/N, please proceed to the chemo therapy ward” a nurse called

“Alright, I’m going, see you later, mimi”

“Get well soon sweetie” aimi replied.

It had been a tradition for you to see each other off that way. Maybe the small sense of hope of getting better slightly made things a little brighter.

As usual, you greeted the nurses and doctors there. The other patients as well. There was a new doctor though. A good looking one at that. Maybe aimi could shoot her shot with him, you thought.

Without much to do while receiving treatment, you watched the new doctor work. With the little bear pinned on his white coat and lollipops sticking out of his pockets, he looks to be a pediatrician. He crouched down to be eye level with one of the kids. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but the close proximity made sure that you could hear their conversation nevertheless.

“How’s our brave mio doing? Does it hurt anywhere?” He smiled while asking the kid

“Mhm. It hurts here, and here, and here. But mama said if I’m brave today, you’d give me a lollipop!”

“Is that so?” He smiled again while giving the kid’s shoulder a light squeeze before continuing. “Well your mama’s right. So be brave again today, okay?”

The child smiled so brightly as if the pain he talked about moments ago was suddenly non existent.

Lost in the moment, you didn’t notice how the doctor found you staring at their exchange.

“Miss? Something wrong?”

“O- oh! No no, nothing’s wrong. Just spaced out you know, all the meds and stuff” was the best excuse you could come up with

“Oh? Hold on a second. You shouldn’t be experiencing those symptoms even with all the medicine. Are you sure you’re fine? Who’s your doctor?”

“I’m fine, really. Just my emotions, you know?”

He simply nodded. He then reached down to his pockets, pulled out a lollipop, then gave it to you.

“Here,” he said “good job for being brave today too” he mused before turning away to come back to the kid he was originally talking to.

It was a simple act, to say the least. But with everyone close to you being so used to your illness, it had been a while since anyone had ever uttered those words to you. The words cheered you up a little .

Despite you being transferred out of the pediatric ward years ago, the fact that you spent most of your life there made it so that you were fairly close to the staff there, as well as some patients. Up ‘til now, when aimi wasn’t able to be with you due to her health related endeavors, you went to the pedia ward. Usually just to sit there and enjoy the company since both your parents had to work to be able to pay your bills and you were an only child too.

Your new hobby at the moment? Crochet. While sitting at one of the benches there, you started crocheting a little bumble bee patterned plush. You almost looked like a relative waiting for her family member to be discharged. If not for the huge stand you had to wheel around to take your IV bag with you.

“You again? How are your emotions, Ms. patient” the pedia doctor who gave you a lollipop approached you

“May I?” He asked, gesturing to the seat beside you

“Sure”

He took a seat.

“My emotions are fine, by the way. They’re all going into this bee plushie I’m making”

“That so?”

“Mhm. By the way, doc, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before”

“How long have you been here for you to be able to tell who’s new and who isn’t” he asked

“Hmm I’d say technically since I was five. I mean I was in and out before but two years ago, I was admitted and I haven’t left since”

“What are you in for?”

“Stop making it sound like I was arrested” you laughed while saying

“I just wanted to lighten the mood”

“I have leukemia”

“Well, you look pretty not pale”

“You think so?” The compliment, while bizarre to many, meant a lot to you. Doc seems to be good at flattery and words. And the fact that he didn’t immediately pity you made the conversation all the better. Maybe it was because he was used to such news.

“Yeah, you look healthy enough to sprint out the hospital”

He wasn’t wrong. You were a tad skinny but you somehow still maintained a rather rosy-pale complexion despite your illness. As long as you didn’t run or over exert yourself, you could walk around on your own.

“I would if I could, you know? Don’t tempt me” you joked

“What would you do outside anyway?”

“I would… buy books! Lots of them. And crepes! I love those”

“Why don’t you? You seem healthy enough to ask for a permit for that”

“Nah. My parents are both busy and tired all the time. My other patient friend isn’t allowed to go out anymore. My doctor is almost always on call so he can’t go with me”

“I’ll go with you” he said

“You could be a murderer though”

“I’m literally obviously a doctor”

“We just met too. I don’t wanna be a bother. It’s okay, doc! That was just wishful thinking”

He only nodded in response.

“Dr. Sakusa! Mio’s parents are here now” the nurse called, he immediately complied without saying a word.

Nearly a week has passed since your encounter with “Dr. Sakusa”. A week you spent talking with aimi and komori, crocheting, catching up on the latest celeb gossip and nurse gossip even, since your room is right across the nurses’s station. Your parents also took turns visiting you outside work hours.

“Bitch!” Aimi barged into the door of your room

“Aimi, your voice” you asked her politely to lower her voice. Loud noises made your head pound.

“I’m sorry” she said, hugging you immediately.

“So? What’s got you barging in here?”

“One of the kids told me she saw you talking to a handsome doctor last week! Who?”

“The dude never even removed his mask. What if he’s not handsome without the mask” you joked

“Selfish, come on, who was it?”

“I think his name’s sakusa? He never really told me but I heard the nurse call him”

“He sounds familiar”

“Really?”

“Yeah but I can’t remember. So where is this doctor?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since”

“Oh look, I think toya’s headed here. Toya and… who’s that other guy?”

As the two entered your room, you recognized him immediately.

“Sakusa?”

“How are you today, Ms. patient? Are your emotions doing well?” You found it funny how your little excuse seems to have made its mark with him, enough to earn you a little inside joke as such.

“This is the guy?” Aimi whispered to you to which you nodded

“What are you doing here, doc? And why are you with toya?”

“Motoya is my cousin and I’m here because of this” he handed you a paper bag.

“What’s this?”

“Crepes”

Without a word, your face lit up but before you unboxed the contents of the paper bag, you looked at komori for approval first. He nodded.

“You should have told me you wanted those! I wouldn’t mind going out to get you some, yn. Had my cousin not told me about meeting a girl who was crocheting in front of the pedia ward, I wouldn’t know” komori said

“It’s not like I can’t live without it, toya. But.. thank you so much Dr. Sakusa” you smiled at him

“Kiyoomi” he said very softly

“Huh?”

“You can call me kiyoomi”

“Does that apply to me too?” Aimi asked jokingly

“ ‘course it does! Kiyoomi even bought enough crepes for the both of you” Komori spoke for sakusa

“Thank you kiyoomi!” You and aimi said in unision before digging into the box of sweets.

“I’ll get going now. My patients are waiting for me” sakusa excused himself, leaving you, aimi, and komori.

“Damn toya your cousin looks a little intimidating” aimi stated

“He does look like it. But he’s really nice you know? I mean he’s a pediatrician after all”

“Given that he even bought crepes for me and yn, I’m already approving of him joining our little squad”

“You better not use him for food”

“I won’t!” You all laughed

It made your heart swell. Moments like these, it’s almost as if it was a normal day, living a normal life. A taste of how things might have been, maybe?

Your life proceeded as a routine after. After all, living at a hospital didn’t provide much entertainment. You weren’t mad at your situation. Things happen and people get sick. No one was to blame and being frustrated about it would only add to your stress. Your parents and you yourself have already accepted your condition, as per your request. You agreed to receive treatment but you talked to them, told them you were alright and that you’d do your best to get better but once it becomes too much, you wanted to have the choice of letting go. Fortunately, there was no need to make that choice right now.

“Knock knock” sakusa’s head peeked into your room

“Come in”

“I got you some books. Look, these are the ones you wanted to read”

“Seriously?! Thank you! You have no idea how much I wanted these. Wait how much are they? I have to pay you back”

“No need. These are mine. I read them before already”

“Why are you nice to me?” You suddenly asked which you thought you shouldn’t have after seeing sakusa’s confused and shocked face.

“I don’t mean that in a suspicious way, just… even before you knew I was toya’s friend, you were already nice”

“I’m a doctor. I’m supposed to be nice to patients”

“Okay okay, no need to be defensive” you laughed

“Im not!”

“Okay, doc”

“Oh hey, the weather is nice today” he said, which confused you

“Okay and? Are we that awkward that you had to bring up the weather just to extend the conversation?”

“No I mean, do you want to go out? Just the rooftop or the garden”

“Can I?”

“I’ll ask motoya to ask your attending first”

“Okay but aren’t you busy?”

“No. I get free time because I performed best this week” he spoke while sending a text to komori to ask for permission for you to be able to go out.

“You’re bragging”

“No I’m not- ah here. Motoya replied, you’re allowed to go out. Just for an hour. Let me fix the permit first. Wanna ask aimi to come with us?”

“Not today, I think. She’s… being monitored”

The sudden drop of your mood didn’t escape sakusa. Aimi’s cancer was of the bone. Osteosarcoma. She was supposedly healing but sudden complications came and the past few days have been a little down hill for her. Komori wanted to comfort you but he didn’t know how as he was much closer with aimi and even he was having a hard time taking the situation. He asked his cousin to stop by your room to check on you after his shift.

“Come on, can you walk?”

“‘Course I can”

Sakusa helped you wheel your IV stand as you walked to the elevator.

“Where are we going?”

“Rooftop”

You didn’t know whether your rather fast friendship with the doctor was because of the fact that he was one of the only people you had access to or because he made you feel easy. God knows it took komori a good few months before he got to your good side.

“We’re here” he assisted you out of the elevator

“Oh, I thought we were going to the helipad” you pouted

“You’re not allowed there, plus, it’s nice here, there are lots of plants and fresh air”

You both started walking around the rooftop garden

“Kiyoomi?”

“Hm?”

“Toya… he won’t listen to me when I talk to him about this. He’s not even supposed to be this attached to me. I’m his patient after all”

“What is it about?” Sakusa halted his walking and motioned for you to take a seat with him on a nearby bench

“When I go.. I want to leave some things to someone. You know, letters, memorabilia or something for my family and friends. I know it’s too much and we just met but can I leave them with you?”

“Yn, you’re not dying. Your cancer hasn’t progressed to acute leukemia, we can work something out.”

“You and I both know how untrue that is”

It surprised him. How there was no bitterness in your voice when you said those words. Words describing an inevitable end and yet, only the most genuine tone could be heard. Not a trace of anger. It’s not the sound of someone who has given up either.

“Okay”

“Okay? You’ll do it? Don’t worry, I’ll definitely have a letter and a gift for you!”

“No? I don’t want a letter, say it in person. I’m always here anyway” he joked

“Okay, then come visit me everyday. And bring more crepes! And books”

“Okay, I will. I’m in charge of checking up on your emotions after all”

“As you should, Dr. Kiyoomi”

You shared a heartfelt laugh. You were beyond grateful to have someone so understanding of a dying person like yourself. He talked to you without bias for the most part. He was kind but his kindness was different from that of his cousin’s. While komori cushioned all the blows, Kiyoomi didn’t sugarcoat the words you needed to hear. He was honest but he understands.

The wind blew, the night sky fast approaching, you failed to notice the supposedly beautiful sunset view seen from where you sat. Perhaps having someone who understood your troubles and listened to your thoughts was much more beautiful than any sunset could ever be.

“Hey it’s getting cold. Let’s head back, or else motoya’s going to get an earful”

You nodded and let him guide you back into the elevator. The way back was pretty quiet. Not awkward but rather, an eased quiet. He helped you situate yourself back on the bed, fluffed your pillow, pulled your blanket up.

“Good job for being brave again today” he said before turning towards the door to return to his duties.

Being physically sick, it wasn’t everyday that someone checked on your emotions. After all, emotions won’t exist if you had no physical body to feel it with.

“How’s aimi?” You asked Komori who was having his lunch in your room

“She’s being treated”

“That’s not helpful at all. Come on tell me the truth, toya”

“She’s conscious but she’s intubated so she can’t talk right now”

“Oh” the obvious frown made its way to your face

“No no, you’re not letting your mood drop today. Your emotional support doctor can’t cheer you up today so you can’t be sad”

“My emotional supp- oh kiyoomi? How do you even know about that?” You asked, a little shyly

“He told me how you used your emotions as an excuse for staring at him the first time you guys met”

“I was not staring at him! I was listening to his conversation with the kid!”

“Okay! Calm down”

“Toya”

“What?”

“My next scan is in a few hours”

“You’ll be okay. I know it. You’re healthy as fuck.” It was more of a reassurance for himself at this point.

“I don’t need you being all emotional over me. They’re going to pull you from my case if they notice, you know?”

“I know. Just… please be okay”

Just then, his beeper went off.

“Oh looks like your schedule moved up.

“Komori, I’ll take over from here, you take over my rounds for now” Dr. Sato, the attending in charge of you said as he entered the room.

“Got it, doc. See you later, yn!” he gave your shoulder a tight squeeze before leaving

“You ready?”

“Aren’t I always?”

The tests weren’t time consuming. AS usual, blood was drawn, physical tests, MRI and CAT scans.

You were now back in your room with your mom. The results were going to be relayed to you tomorrow.

“yn, how have you been lately? I’m sorry mom hasn’t been around much, there’s so much work nowadays” she smiled at you

“I’m okay mom. I actually met this really nice doctor. He brings me books and crepes a lot”

“Is that so?”

“mhm, he’s toya’s cousin!”

“Their kindness must run in the blood then”

You looked at your mother. Her bags were heavier than before, she had lost weight, she looked pale. She looked tired. It’s times like these when you feel bad for not being able to support yourself. Then again, how would you even do that when all you could do at most was walk around on your own. Any more than that and you’d end up tired and sicker than you already were.

“Sweetie? What’s wrong?” she must have noticed your sad stare

“Nothing mom, I’m just a little tired” you smiled at her

“Oh then get some rest now. I’ll be here tomorrow for your results, okay? Or maybe dad will”

“Thank you mom”

24 hours passed by in a blink of an eye. Dr. Sato would come by anytime now but neither your mother not father was around. You were a tad scared of what you were about to hear. Your phone buzzed, signaling a text message. It was from your mom. It was of her saying she couldn’t make it. You understood. They both had to work double time just to be able to pay for your bills and you would never hold it against them.

“How’s Ms. Patient doing?” The sudden voice pulled you out of your thoughts

“Kiyoomi, hi”

“You seem down. Did I, your emotional support doctor, not do my job well?” He was obviously trying to lighten your mood

“no no, I’m- just my results are going to be out now”

“you alone?” he asked while tinkering with the small decorations which adorned your bedside table.

“mhm, my parents are busy. Having a daughter in constant need of expensive medical care isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world you know”

“well if that daughter is as nice as you then I’m sure all that is more than worth it”

“You flatter me”

“Want me to stay with you?”

“Are you allowed to do that?”

“I am allowed. I’m not your doctor so there’s no issue there as long as you consent to it”

Just then, Dr. Sato entered the room.

“Yn? You ready? Where’s Mrs. l/n?”

“She’s busy today but kiyoomi will keep me company”

“Dr. Sakusa? Since when do you two know each other?”

“He’s in charge of my emotions” you jokingly told Dr. Sato

Sakusa was obviously slightly embarrassed but he laughed a little too.

“okay now, let’s all take a seat and talk about yesterday’s test, okay?”

“okay”

“So, yn. It looks like the treatment we’re trying now is working a little better than the last one we tried. However, this.. how do I say this”

“it’s okay doc, just tell me”

“Well you see, it seems to be progressing faster than we projected. It progresses slower with younger patients but you’re an adult now and it seems to be affecting more and more of your body. the cancer.. has progressed into acute leukemia. The treatment you’re receiving now is definitely slowing the growth but it’s also affecting your healthy cells.”

“so... does this mean the results will be the same whether I get treatment or not?”

“more or less”

You unconsciously grabbed sakusa’s hand. He didn’t pull it back, instead, he squeezed you hand to reassure you that he was there.

“What do you suggest we do, doc?”

“I suggest we try to halt the treatment as it might be doing more harm than good. Let’s stick to oral medication for now, to control the symptoms”

“Okay, doc”

“Don’t we need to hear from your parents too?”

“No, they’re letting me decide these things for myself anyway”

“Okay well if you have any more questions then feel free to ask them or if you want me to step out, I’d leave you for now”

“How long?” Both Dr. Sato and Sakusa knew what you were talking about.

“I can’t say but with cases like yours… it would be around 2 years at most. I’m sorry”

“Oh don’t apologize now, Dr. Sato. You’ve kept me alive for 20 years. That’s more than enough for me to thank you. I literally owe you my life” you said with the widest smile you could muster

“I swear, that attitude of yours is what keeps you going” Dr. Sato mused before he excused himself to visit another patient

In all honesty, you were feeling weaker by the day. The usual walk around the floor becoming more taxing than it used to. You often dropped the things you were holding, your body aches were worstening too. Though luckily, unless someone saw your charts, you could make them believe that you were still fairly healthy. You didn’t notice how despite Dr.Sato being gone for more than a few minutes now and you’ve been lost in thought for a while, you were still holding sakusa’s hands.

“Oh my god kiyoomi I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was still holding onto you”

“It’s okay. So anyway? What do you want to do today? Garden? Want me to get you more pastries? Read a new book maybe? Or play with the kids at the pedia ward?”

“Thank you” was all you could say.

“I’m always here to guard your emotions. It’s my job” he chuckled softly. It was a small inside joke but he was right. Ever since you met him, he has always made you feel more at ease and despite the heavy news dropped on you only moments ago, you already feel a little alleviated that sakusa was able to lighten up the mood as he always does.

“Take me to the rooftop again, kiyoomi. I think I need some fresh air.”

No words were spoken as helped you prepare to head to the said destination. the way there was quiet. He wanted to console you but he didn't know how nor was he sure if you needed to be consoled at all. He guided you out of the elevator and followed you as you walked towards the part of the rooftop where the view of the city was clear as day. You propped your arms against the railing and situated your head on them. Kiyoomi standing beside you with his hands in his pockets, quietly waiting for you to say something.

"I wonder" you said, finally breaking the silence.

"Hm?"

"What I'd be doing now if I wasn't so sick all the time"

"What did you want to be?"

"I wanted to be a doctor actually. I told myself when I was a kid that once I got better, I'd be a doctor so I could treat people who are sick like me"

Sakusa chose not to speak. He wanted to listen more to what you wanted to say. To your dreams, to what you wanted to do.

"I never got better though so here I am" a bitter laugh escaped your lips. The first time Sakusa ever saw and heard you get frustrated because of your condition.

"Spent my whole life here. Never even had a boyfriend. Never even snuck out of the house or gone to late night trips with friends. It sucks."

Sakusa finally turned his head towards you. He saw your eyes, glassy, tears threatening to fall, the warm glow of the sun about to set, reflected against your tear filled irises.

"Ever had a first kiss, Ms. Patient?" Huis question took you by surprise.

"No. Why? Would you give it to me?" It was a joke. Or at least most of it was.

"If I say yes, would you let me?"

One look and he knew it was a yes. Gently, slowly, but with no hesitation, he leaned towards you with eyes closed. You did the same.

And for a second time since you met him, you had missed the view of a beautiful sunset; because the person standing next to you was much more beautiful than any sunset could ever be.

Being a doctor, Sakusa couldn't always be around but he came by to hang out with you every chance he got. He barely even got to go to the on call rooms because when he needed rest, he would come to your room. Neither of you established your relationship despite the kiss but safe to say that he snuck in kisses whenever he'd pass by your room. The nurses even started teasing you about your relationship with the handsome, new doctor. Frankly, you had kept what happened a secret from Komori and Aimi. You weren't allowed to visit aimi yet since only family members were allowed to but komori had access to her so he went there regularly to come talk to her and fill her up on stories and entertain her. You were pretty sure though that he had some sort of idea that something was going on between you and his cousin.

"If you're dating my cousin, just say that"

"And where would we be going on dates? In my room? On the way to get a CAT scan?"

"No but maybe the rooftop?"

Your cheeks turned red at the thought of Komori knowing what had happened.

"Look at this 25 year old fully grown, adult woman blushing at the memory of a kiss"

"How did you know?!"

"Squeezed it out of Kiyoomi. Don't you think I see you two going out every time he had a second to spare? He even started asking for permission from Dr. Sato himself to hide it from me."

"I really didn't mean to, you know?"

"What's wrong with dating him? Why do you sound so guilty?"

"Well for starters, I have a fucking timer on my head"

"Stop it with the death timer. You can never be sure about that"

"Toya, I have two years at most. I really don't wanna be dragging kiyoomi into my life like that"

You found it ironic that Komori, being the doctor, was the one so reluctant to talk about your condition outside his work hours. He was the one most aware of it aside from Dr. Sato but he never talked about it with you if he didn't have to. It's a surprise he's still allowed to be on your case at this point as doctors weren't advised to treat patients whom they are emotionally attached to.

"Don't want to drag me into what?"

You failed to see Sakusa enter the room as Komori was blocking your view of the door

"Your girlfriend doesn't want you to date her because she thinks she's on a timer"

"I really don't care. I just want to do my best to keep her emotions in check" He made his way to you and kissed your forehead before sitting on the end of your bed, lifting your feet, putting them on his lap and giving you a foot massage.

"God, you're in the honeymoon phase. It's always the virgins who're so touchy too" Komori joked, returning to his original, light hearted demeanor "I'm leaving you two now, goodbye". He stormed off.

"No way in hell you're a virgin, Kiyoomi? With that face??? And that brain??"

He blushed immensely.

"Wait... are you actually?"

"Yes" He whispered

"FOR REAL?"

“Stop looking so amused about it”

“Okay okay, I’m sorry” you said with a soft chuckle

You ended up staring at Sakusa’s face, caressing his cheek before he dipped his head to give you a chaste kiss on the lips. A kiss that was cut short because of the door slamming open to reveal a shocked Komori,.

“Seriously?? I leave for five minutes and you’re already making out?”

“It was just a kiss!” you retort

“Whatever you say. Anyway, Kiyoomi, sorry to ruin your fun but Dr. Sato is calling for you. We have a new patient. Six Years old, we need a pedia on board the case”

“Alright. yn, I’ll come by whenever I can, okay?”

You nodded, watching the two leave your room to attend to another patient. And just as they both disappeared from your sight, you felt a sharp pain in your head. The surroundings started to look distorted, a warm sensation making its way through your sinuses, droplets of blood dripping onto your lap from your nose. The last thing you remembered was pressing the nurse call button before everything turned pitch black.

Bright. It was bright and you couldn’t open your eyes because of it. You started moving your limbs, trying to sit up but you felt too weak to do so. Once your vision adjusted to the lighting, you were met with your mother, with her head on your bedside, sleeping, holding your hand. She must have left work seeing as she was still wearing her corporate attire.

“Yn, sweetie, are you up? How are you feeling? Are you alright? I’m sorry I wasn’t around much lately. I’m sorry, I’m here now”

“mom,. what happened?”

“you passed out this afternoon. They had to give you a blood transfusion but now it’s fine, you’re okay now baby”

Still being a little dizzy and all, you chose to let your head rest easy on the pillow and return to sleep. You had such a good sleep that you didn’t even get to bid your mom farewell when she left. She felt bad about waking you so she simply placed a kiss on your forehead and left quietly.

The next time you opened your eyes, you saw Kiyoomi standing by the door frame.

“You up?” he asked

“mhm, how long have you been there?”

“Just a little while” he talked while walking towards you, giving you a hug before removing his white coat and taking a seat on the couch placed beside your bed.

“Don’t you have work, omi?”

“omi? you got me a little nickname?” his words accompanied by a smirk

“I- if you don’t like it, I can stop”

“no no, it’s cute, call me omi from now on. So? How are your emotions today?”

“I’m... okay. I’m just physically tired”

“Then I’ll let you get more rest, sleep well, alright?” he stood up to leave

“no omi, stay. If you’re not busy, stay here”

“okay”

he walked back to you, making himself fit as best he could in the space beside you on the hospital bed. He wrapped you in his embrace, your face buried into his chest.

“Hey omi”

“What?”

“Remember when we went to the rooftop and you promised you’d be the one to hand out my letters and all that?”

“Yes. Why?”

“If anything happens to me, all the letters are in a box under my bed”

“Then tell me now?”

“huh? tell you what?”

“didn’t you promise that you’d tell me your message in person?”

Instead of speaking words, you hugged him even tighter, nudging your face closer to his chest, taking in his scent, the feel of his arms wrapped around you, enveloping your fragile body. You refused to speak. For the first time, refused to acknowledge the fact that you were on the brink of dying. You had always accepted that it wasn’t going to be long ‘til you finally disappeared from this world. It was bittersweet to you. As much as you loved living, the constant physical, emotional, and mental pain from your situation was something you’d gladly let go of and just hope that you’d be good and healthy in the next life.

But now you’d whole heartedly take every needle, swallow every pill, endure each and every one of the aches in your body if that meant you could be with Kiyoomi longer. Someone who let himself love you despite knowing that there would be no happy ending to this story.

“I love you kiyoomi”

It was the only message he needed.

“Kiyoomi, are you really not going?”

“No, I.. I’m staying here”

“Okay”

“Motoya” sakusa called before komori could leave the room

“Here” he handed him four envelopes, each with a handwritten name assigned. Mom . Dad . Toya . Aimi

“What’s this?”

“They’re letters. From yn.” Komori’s eyes started getting teary but he held it in, took the envelopes, gave his cousin a hug before finally taking his leave.

He couldn’t believe how only a little over a year has passed since he met you.

Sakusa refused to attend your funeral. He couldn’t watch you being lowered into the ground, he couldn’t look at you, lifeless. Minutes of just sitting on what used to be your bed, sakusa rummaged more into the box you had left. He couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at what he had found. The paper bag of the crepe he brought for you.. The Lollipop he gave you when you saw him for the first time. And an enevelope with his name on it?

“ To my dearest, omi. My emotional Support Doctor! :) I know you said no letters but I’m really not brave enough to tell you these words face to face. When I promised to tell you everything in person, I didn’t know that I would end up loving you as much as I did in this life time. Heck, you even made me want to live more. You made me want to get better everyday. Thank you for buying me crepes and bringing me books. Thank you for the lollipop. Thank you for giving me my first kiss and for being my first and only love.

Know that I will always love you, more than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry I was selfish. I knew how this would end and yet I let myself love you without a care in the world. But more than guilt, I feel gratitude. Because you let me love you and because you did the same. I’m not sorry that it couldn’t be us in the end. My life was always going to lead to this and you somehow managed to make yourself the highlight of it. My story ends with you and me. But don’t let yourself end up there too. Find a new love that can last you a lifetime. You’ve given me so much happiness and support and I want you to be happy too. You deserve to love and be loved again.

Thank you for guarding my emotions all the while. Thank you for being brave again today too, my love.

- y/n”

#sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa angst #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #sakusa imagines #sakusa scenarios #sakusa kiyoomi x reader

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agustdakasuga · 3 years

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Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 11

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Sometimes, you forget just how different the boys are at home and at ‘work’. And you realise that sometimes, your sharp tongue can get you into more trouble that needed.

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter warning(s): Mentions of blood, gunshots, cyanide poisoning. Cursing.

“So, this is what happens on days off...?” You stood at the entrance of the lounge, watching the boys sprawled out everywhere. Jimin lifted his head up from his awkward position on the ground, his one leg draped over Hoseok’s, who was on the couch.

“Yes. Pretty much.” He nodded.

“Well, I’ll be going off.” You said, checking if you had anything in your bag.

“Wait! Where are you going?” There was scrambling and the pattering of multiple footsteps. The boys ran over like excited puppies, not wanting their owners to leave them at home.

“There were some extra medical supplies at my mum’s hospital. She told me I could take them. We’re due for a refill anyway.” You explained.

“How are you going?” Taehyung asked.

“Don’t you know? I can just teleport there with my superpowers.” You rolled your eyes, walking away but you heard more footsteps following behind you. You were hoping to catch the next bus but with the long driveway in, you’ll probably miss it and have to take a cab. If you were later than the time you gave your mum, she’ll most definitely hold it against you.

“We’ll drive you.” Namjoon offered.

“All... 7 of you?” You turned to them with a raised eyebrow and your arms crossed. The boys quickly turned around, huddling together in a meeting. They were actually playing rock, paper, scissors.

“Turns out, the others have another activity to do. We’ll go.” Jin grinned, putting his arm around you, which you pinched and made him pull away.

“Yes.” Namjoon nodded. You shrugged, not really caring who was going in the first place.

“Let’s go then.” You nodded to the leader and oldest.

“The only time Namjoon hyung wins at rock, paper, scissors.” Jungkook scoffed behind you. You shook your head, the youngest will always be the youngest. Jin drove while Namjoon sat in the back seat. You sat in the passenger seat to give directions to the hospital.

“Go in here.” You directed him to the VIP entrance. And there she was, standing there, waiting for you.

“Omma.” You got out and hugged her.

“You brought company?” She tried to peek in but the boys’ car windows were all tinted. Jin and Namjoon came out, greeting your mother respectfully and shaking her hands.

“I can’t say I was expecting the both of you.” She chuckled.

“It wouldn’t be nice of us to make her come alone. Especially if we knew she was meeting you.” Jin patted your head and you shot him a look.

“How nice of you. Right this way.” She led all 3 of you in. At first, you wanted them to just wait in the car, worried that a passing paparazzi would start some fake news but your mother led all of you through the private VIP way in, assuring that no one would see you. You noticed all the interns bowing to your mother as you passed by.

“Still as respectable as ever, huh omma?” You asked as you stepped into the lift with her.

“You would be too if you stayed.” She hummed. You merely shrugged at her comment. You entered her office, seeing the boxes of spare medical supplies stacked in one corner.

“There it is.” She pointed.

“Right-”

“Sunbae.” An intern came rushing in. He stopped when he saw you standing there, eyebrows raised in amusement, along with Namjoon and Jin. His eyes widened when he realised his mistake.

“I’m so sorry! I had no idea you had guests!” He bowed repeatedly. Your mother shook her head with a sigh, rubbing her temples.

“What is it?” She looked up at him. The intern took the file out from under his arm and slid it over to your mother on her desk. Instead of opening it, your mother held it out to you. You shook your head, knowing exactly what she was getting at.

“I just want your opinion.” She still held the folder.

“This is a breach of patient privacy.” You crossed your arms. Your mother was never one to give up but you weren’t here to please her. So you took two boxes, handing them to Namjoon, then the same with Jin.

“I’ll speak to you soon, omma.” You took the remaining boxes and exited her office with the two.

“Can you... do that?” Namjoon asked.

“She’ll get over it. I’m used to her tricks. First she’ll ask me to look through the papers, then come up with a diagnosis and treatment plan. Lastly, all the surgeons will be conveniently unavailable and I do the surgery.” You shrugged.

“Wow.” Jin’s eyes widened. You nodded with a hum. The boys helped to load the things into the trunk of Jin’s car and you slid into the back seat.

“Wanna get waffles?” Namjoon asked, scrolling on his phone as Jin drove.

“You guys eat waffles?” You snickered.

“What’s wrong with waffles?”

“Nothing’s wrong with waffles. You guys eat such fancy food, prepared by private chefs every single meal. I’m just surprised you guys will eat waffles not prepared by Michelin star chefs.” You rolled your eyes with a scoff. Jin and Namjoon shook their heads at the same times. Jin pulled over to their favourite waffles cafe.

“Here we are. This is our favourite place.” Namjoon opened the door for you. You stepped out to see the cozy little shop.

“Cute.” You commented. The 3 of you entered the shop and went to stand in line. There were many high schoolers, still in their uniforms there. The two with you obviously caught their attention.

“You know, for people that are meant to be lowkey, you’re very good at it.” You snorted.

“Jealous?”

“Nice try with the whole jealous thing. I just hate unnecessary attention.” You scoffed, stepping up to order.

“I would like a cheese waffle.” You ordered and stepped aside to let Namjoon and Jin order. Jin read the others’ orders from his phone before paying. Namjoon ordered a coffee and you got an iced americano to drink while you wait for your orders. Jin was on the phone.

“Order 42!” The worker shouted. You stood up and went over to the counter to collect the bags.

“Sorry, doc but we may need to make a detour. There’s a work emergency that I need to attend to.” Jin sighed. You shrugged, not really caring. You already had your waffle so you were good to go.

“Fine with me. I have my waffle.” You shook the waffle with a laugh.

“Glad we now know that food is able to make you that happy.” Namjoon chuckled, taking a bite of his own waffle.

“It should only be a while. Would you like to come in or wait here?” Jin asked as he pulled the car to the side of the road to park, unbuckling his seatbelt. Namjoon did the same.

“Depends... Can I bring my waffle?” You raised your eyebrows. Jin laughed with a shake of his head but gave you a thumbs up. You cheered and slid out of the car, standing beside Namjoon while Jin walked in front. The people guarding the front bowed respectfully when they saw Jin approaching, immediately stepping aside and opening the door for you.

“B-Boss, t-they’re in your office.” Someone with a name tag ‘manager’, spoke nervously when he saw Jin.

“They did this?” Jin gestured to the wrecked area.

“I’m sorry, boss. We tried to stop them. We know it is your day off.” He tried to explain but Jin held his hand up to stop his babbling. You tilted your head, turning to look at the mess.

“Luckily this happened before opening.” Jin rubbed his temples. The lounge wasn’t meant to open until later tonight. Fortunately, there were no customers around when this ruckus was caused or it may just cause more trouble.

“Jin oppa!” You shivered when you heard that shrill voice. You scrunched your nose in annoyance while Namjoon chuckled, amused by the girl.

“Shiori.” Jin turned his head. The girl latched herself onto Jin’s arm. She smiled sweetly as Jin spoke to his staff.

“Umm, Jin?” You tapped his shoulder. Shiori turned to you, blinking at your presence then glared as she recognised you as the one Jin called his partner. You didn’t even cast a glance at her.

“What do you want?” She frowned.

“I’m done with my waffle. Can we go home now?” You held the empty paper bag up where your waffle once was. Jin threw his head back in laughter. If looks could kill, Shiori would have you in a pool of your own blood by now. Namjoon shook his head.

“Almost, doc. My apologies, you can have drinks with Namjoon at the bar. Let me just settle the issue in my office. Then we’ll go home.” He patted your head with a smile.

“It’s on your tab!” You shouted, walking to the bar. Namjoon chuckled, trailing behind you with his hands in his pockets.

“Who is she, Jin? Really. She’s always around you and the other boys.” Shiori asked with a pout, walking beside Jin as he began to head upstairs to where his office was.

“I told you, she’s my partner.” Jin tugged his arm back.

“I don’t believe you.” She crossed her arms.

“Well, that’s your prerogative. Now go. This level is for authorised personnel only.” Jin opened the glass door that granted access to the hallway where his office was. Shiori was no pleased. As she watched Jin’s retreating back, she stomped her feet and went downstairs. She saw you and Namjoon have a beer at the bar, making minimal conversation.

“Yah.” She stood at your side. You stopped, giving her a side eye before continuing your conversation with Namjoon.

“I’m talking to you!” She shouted.

“I know... I have perfectly working ears. Which you may have now ruined with your voice.” You groaned, sighing in exasperation. Shiori’s jaw dropped slightly at how you spoke to her.

“How dare you-”

BANG!

“Head down!” Namjoon placed his hand behind your head, pressing you against his chest and pulling you to the ground with him. There were screams of shock, employees running everywhere to exit or take cover.

“I need to help Jin. Can you get out of here?” Namjoon asked you, cupping your cheek with his hand.

“W-What if he’s injured?”

“You can’t treat him here if there are armed people. Get out of here and I’ll bring him out, okay? It’s probably nothing but we can’t be too sure.” Namjoon said firmly. You nodded and he looked around before standing up and leaving. You watched him take a gun out from the holster on his belt.

“You stay at the front entrance. You, clear the back entrance. You two, cover me.” Namjoon said to the guards, who were also armed and ready.

“Yes, boss.” They nodded and got into position.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“I’m gonna die!” Shiori whimpered.

“Calm down! We just need to get out of here. Follow me.” You hissed in annoyance. She covered her ears, shivering in fear. You stood up and began to head to the front entrance, where Jin parked the car.

“Damn it! Shiori.” You realised she wasn’t following you and turned around to grab her. Just then, someone grabbed your collar.

“What do we have here?” Some guy smirked.

“A human, duh.” You frowned.

“I saw you walk in with the two bosses. I was spying for my boss that’s upstairs.” He chuckled. You gave him a bored look, which he obviously did not take very well to.

“I’m not afraid to beat a girl up.” He threatened.

“But you’re apparently afraid to use mouthwash.” You scrunched your nose in disgust. The man frowned, slapping you. You closed your eyes, not trying to show how much pain you were as you felt your cheek burn from the impact. Behind him, you saw Namjoon come out, an obviously injured Jin’s arm around his shoulder for support.

“Doc.” Namjoon spoke and the man turned around, taking a knife out and pressing it to your throat. Of course, you were scared. You took a deep breath, trying to think with a clear mind.

“Don’t come closer or I slit her throat.” He threatened.

“Your boss is dead, you’re nothing.” Namjoon glared, putting Jin down on one of the couches.

“Whatever, he may be dead but I know your weakness now. I have the upper hand. You listen to what I say.” He pressed the blade against your neck slightly and you felt a slight cut, the skin splitting ever so slightly.

“You’ve got it all wrong. She’s a mere employee.” Namjoon shrugged.

“He’s right.” You suddenly took a syringe out of your pocket, jabbing it into his left side. The man gasped, dropping the knife and falling to the ground.

“Doc!” Namjoon was quick to catch you before your wobbly legs gave out. You held his arms, taking a deep breath.

“I-I’m fine. We have to help Jin. Let’s go.” You told him. He nodded, helping Jin up and bringing him to the car. Namjoon jumped into the driver’s seat. (Yes, Namjoon has his license in this story lol.) You made a quick call to the estate, letting them know what happened.

“What did you inject that guy with? Shall we bring him in before he gets conscious?” Namjoon asked as he sped.

“He’s dead. That was a syringe of cyanide. I started carrying it around in case of situations like this.” You pressed a handkerchief to Jin’s bullet wound on his right pec. Jin winced and groaned in pain.

“Smart.” Was all Namjoon said.

“Bring him to my office.” You said to the butlers who helped a groaning Jin out of the car. The other boys rushed out.

“You’re bleeding!” Taehyung gasped. You waved him off, rushing to your office. You washed your hands and put your gloves on. Jin was placed on the metal examination table. The first thing you did was try to stop most of the bleeding with gauze and antiseptic. Jin hissed, moving slightly. Hoseok came to help hold him down while you worked.

“Jin, can you hear me?” You asked.

“Y-Yes... Damn, it hurts like a b*tch.” He forced out.

“Keep him as still as possible. I’ll get the bullet out.” With a pair of forceps, you reached in to try and get the bullet out since there was no exit wound.

“F*ck! That hurts!” Jin screamed out, his face going red, the veins on his neck showing prominently. You grabbed the bullet, pulling it out and dropping it onto the metal dish.

“The bullet is out.” You cleaned the wound and bandaged him up then put him on a drip to help with his blood loss.

“Bring him here to lie down. I have to hook him up.” You instructed.

“Yah! Be careful!” Jin scolded the boys. They slowly helped move him to the bed and you hook him up to a heart rate monitor, placing the drip bag on the hook. You took his temperature and covered him with a blanket.

“I’ll get someone to clean this blood up.” Jimin said.

“Doc, your wounds. You’re still bleeding.” Jungkook took your first aid kit. You shook your head, taking it and going to your mirror. You cleaned the wound with some cotton soaked with antiseptic. After that, you wrapped a bandage around your neck. You even put some ointment on your cheek.

“Here.” Taehyung lightly pressed a towel-wrapped icepack to your cheek. You smiled gratefully.

“Jin, have this painkiller.” You held the pills out to him with a glass of water. It only took a few minutes before Jin passed out.

“How did you get this hurt?” Yoongi frowned.

“I don’t know. Some guy that worked for the guy that shot Jin upstairs grabbed me while I was trying to leave. He saw Namjoon and grew scared, threatened me with a knife.” You shrugged.

“Yeah, then doc jabbed him with a syringe of cyanide.” Namjoon chuckled. The other boys’ eyes widened, turning to you. You blinked at them. Cyanide worked quickly in the system and because you purposely jabbed him on his left side, near his heart, the asphyxiation worked a lot faster than it normally would. But it definitely killed him.

“Hell yeah, doc! You’re bada*s!” Jungkook held his hand up to hi-five you.

“It was only for self defence, Jungkook. I didn’t do it for the thrill.” You scoffed, making Jungkook pout for ignoring his hi-five.

“I’ll bring you to your room.” Hoseok said as the maids came to clean your office of Jin’s blood. He walked with you to your room, all the while you held the ice pack to your cheek.

“Maybe I won’t sleep. Feels weird to be sleeping when I’m supposed to be awake. I’ll just read a book.” You said. Hoseok hummed.

“You sure you feeling okay?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, a little less shaken than before... But I’ll get over it. I always do, somehow.” You forced a small smile. Hoseok stopped, tugging you gently by the arm to give you a hug.

“Thanks, Hobi.” You patted his shoulder.

“You don’t have to bottle it all up, okay? We all took a while to get over it the first few times.” He patted your head and you nodded. You went to your room and grabbed your book, bringing Kookie with you as well. Kookie followed you, hopping along as you went downstairs.

“Careful, Kookie.” You chuckled. He was so adorable, hopping up and down the stairs like it was his own playground.

“Not resting?” Taehyung asked.

“I’m not gravely injured. So I’ll just stay out here to read.” You waved your book for emphasis. Taehyung bent down to stroke Kookie’s ears and he stood on his hind legs to sniff Taehyung’s hand.

“(y/n), I told you to leave when I went to get Jin hyung. What happened?” Namjoon came out, sitting on the couch beside you.

“I went back to get that girl. She was so scared she couldn’t move. So I turned back to get her but got caught. I may not like her, for obvious reasons, but I wasn’t going to leave her there to get shot up.” You sighed, moving your book to let Kookie sit in your lap.

“You’re really amazing. Insulting someone even when they have a collar grip on you. Yes, I heard you.” Namjoon laughed.

“I wasn’t insulting him. I was merely stating the facts.” You gave Namjoon a flat look. The other boys came and joined you, spreading out across the available seats in the living room.

“Hyung, who were the people that shot Jin hyung?”

“Not sure. I just know they caused trouble at the lounge and Jin hyung went to settle it. When I got there, Jin hyung was shot. The henchmen with the boss were shot too. I had to kill the boss since he was armed. I don’t think they were big. The big ones wouldn’t do that, it’s just dumb, waltzing into the enemies’ turf like that.” Namjoon informed.

“I agree.” Yoongi nodded.

“It’ll be the last we see of them then.” Jungkook smirked.

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gotham-ruaidh · 3 years

Text

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger) || Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) ||| Also posted at AO3

—

Chapter 6B: Without You

Without you in my life // I'd slowly wilt and die But with you by my side // You're the reason I'm alive...

Soundtrack: “Without You,” Mötley Crüe, 1989 [click here to listen]

Six A.M. – Claire quietly shut her door and softly padded down the hallway toward the dining room.

The Ridge’s sleeping quarters reminded her of her college dorm – a long hallway of single rooms, with a shared bathroom at the end of the hall. Women were up here on the second floor – men were in a separate wing on the other side of the dining room, which with the therapy rooms and administrative offices sat at the middle of the large building.

As she entered the dining room, she smiled a hello at Glenna, a kind middle-aged woman who organized breakfast, among dozens of other jobs. Glenna had had a terrible addiction to pills – “just like you, dear, and I overcame it, so you can too” – and had found a home at The Ridge keeping the whole operation running.

“You’re up early,” Glenna remarked as Claire poured herself a cup of coffee.

Claire stirred in cream and sugar. “I haven’t been able to sleep.”

Glenna set down a tray of piping hot cinnamon buns. “It will be a while before you do. Remember, your body is still in shock. It will take longer than you want, to find a new rhythm. Be patient.”

“I will. Thanks, Glenna.”

Glenna gestured with her head toward the porch. “He’s out there.”

Claire frowned. “Who?”

Glenna smiled. “Who do you think? It’s none of my business – but you’re well-suited.”

Claire piled two cinnamon buns on a plate, her heart beating a bit faster. “There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, isn’t it against the rules?”

Glenna set one hand on her hip. “Not yet there isn’t. And since when did the rules ever stop either of you?”

Claire smiled and shook her head, already crossing the empty dining room.

As soon as she popped her head outside, she saw him – alone in the corner of the porch.

As she approached, she saw he had an acoustic guitar on his lap, strumming quietly, scribbling in a notebook.

“Good morning.”

He looked up at her, suddenly beaming. “Early to bed, early to rise, hmm?”

She held out the plate, and he took a bun. “I figured, might as well get up.” She sat down next to him, set down the plate, and took a long sip of coffee. “Do you always get up this early?”

Chewing, he turned back his guitar, plucking quietly at the strings. “Yeah. Being here is the first regular sleep schedule I’ve had in years. This may sound terrible – but I realize now that I’d forgotten how to fall asleep.”

She wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. “What do you mean?”

He tapped the side of the guitar. “I was drinking two bottles of Jack a day, Claire. I’d have it with breakfast, throughout the morning, before a gig, after a gig. I’d just pass out at some early hour, with some girl who I’d picked up at the gig or at a strip club after the gig, and then wake up sometime the next day. And when I wasn’t touring – I’d still drink a lot. Hang out with my friends, or with the band – go out, hit the clubs, maybe do a few bumps of coke. But it would always end the same way, passed out on a floor or a couch or, on better nights, my bed.”

She watched a blue jay flit from tree to tree, down below in the forest.

“I had so many chances over the years to wake up. It’s so clear to me now. There was one day when we were in the studio, laying down a new track – and I needed to take a break, so I’d gone to a smaller practice studio next door. With a speedball in my pocket. So I helped myself to it, and I don’t remember what happened next, but my producer tells me that a few minutes later I’d buzzed him on the intercom, and asked him for a gun so that I could shoot the men in top hats who were coming out of the speakers.”

Claire swirled her half-empty coffee cup. “I’d work three days on, three days off. It’s a punishing schedule – but I knew that going in. After a long day with several surgeries, I’d crash. Sometimes I’d have to be on call, so I’d sleep in this little room we had upstairs in the staff area. It had two sets of bunk beds and a shower – all a body needs. But I’d be so wired from the adrenaline – from needing to focus so much on the patients – that I couldn’t sleep, you know?”

He nodded. “I know. I know exactly what you mean.”

“The pills helped me sleep. That’s what I told myself at first. And I didn’t feel terrible when I woke up – especially if someone was banging on the door, giving me a five minute warning to get back downstairs. I could get all of the sleep with all of the alertness on the other end. But then…well.” She sighed. “Then it got to the point where I told myself I couldn’t sleep at all if I didn’t have the pills – even on my days off. Because I had to sleep, to make up for the sleep I’d lost when I was on call. And then I was taking them during the day, to calm down.”

He turned a new page in his notebook, pulled out a pen from behind his ear, and scribbled something.

“I guess you’re working on something new?”

He nodded. “Sometimes the music comes first. Sometimes it’s the lyrics that come first. But if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember it the next day.” He frowned. “Come to think of it – it must be because my memory was so shot from the booze, that I wasn’t even capable of remembering.”

He cleared his throat, and set down the guitar, and picked up a cup of coffee. “What do you think? You’re a doctor, after all.”

She smirked. “I’m a surgeon, not a neurologist. But it sounds plausible. Can you remember things better now, that you’re sober?”

He nodded. “It’s crazy. I just feel so much…clearer. In control. It’s good to be in control.” He took another bite of cinnamon bun. “Are you feeling that?”

She sighed. “I’m feeling. I didn’t want to feel anything for the longest time. But now I’m feeling…just feeling.”

Footsteps on the deck behind them – Rupert, shuffling in his bathrobe, blearily waving hello, clutching a gigantic cup of coffee.

A beat.

How to find common ground outside of their addictions?

“Can you tell me more about that song you’re writing?”

He set down his coffee and picked up the notebook, flipping back to the previous page. Set it on the table between them. Picked up his guitar. Looked down at his notes. Started to sing – his voice quiet, clear, strong.

Without you, there's no change My nights and days are grey If I reached out and touched the rain It just wouldn't feel the same

Without you, I'd be lost I'd slip down from the top I'd slide down so low Girl you never, never know...

Without you, without you A sailor lost at sea Without you, woman, the world comes down on me

“I don’t know where to go from there,” he said, continuing to play slow notes on his guitar. “Need more verses, of course. Maybe a space for a guitar solo. I don’t know.” He looked up at her. “What do you think?”

Rupert clapped and hooted from across the porch. Giving Claire enough time to find her voice.

“I think you’ve got a keeper there,” she said softly.

He held her gaze. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Play Freebird!” Rupert shouted.

They shared a smile.

Claire’s world tilted just a little.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be

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holykillercake · 3 years

Text

Coin Stealer

Trafalgar Law x psychic!Reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: Law does not believe that you can see dead people, so you crochet him the strange-looking beanie of the strange-looking man that walks around the Polar Tang.

highlight: ¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

warning: You are entering Trafalgar´s room.

notes: Bello, ma people! This is the 3/3 part of a lovely anon request in which the s/o makes them a thing with crochet! This time is Dr. Heart Stealer edition!! I really enjoyed writing this, and it got a little long, but I did not want to cut off important things. Anyway, I hope you like it!

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Bepo! Have you seen Law?¨

¨Y/N! I don´t know where he is... I´m sorry.¨

¨Oh, it´s ok!¨ you patted the mink´s shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

You were never a big fan of his constant apologetic personality, but you couldn´t deny that you missed it during your time apart from the crew.

The Heart Pirates had parted ways a long time ago when your Captain decided that the time to put his life-long plan in action had finally come. The crew split into three parts, and each one followed a different path.

After the sudden disappearance of the Strawhats, the Paramount War, the Rocky Port Incident, and Law obtaining his title as a Warlord of the Sea, you were the first to depart, remaining in Sabaody Archipelago, waiting for the owners of the Thousand Sunny to return. You fought alongside a fishman called Hacchin, a weird guy that reminded you of Black Leg and other allies to protect the ship.

Next to leave was Law, who sailed to Punk Hazard, where he formed a partnership with a crazy scientist bastard. Then the rest of the crew went on their own towards the island where you would meet once the plan was concluded.

The trajectory was not smooth by any means, but you did it, all of you. And now you feasted along with the Strawhats, celebrating whatever it was that you did not understand. Maybe they were like that, or maybe they didn't understand the risks you would take from now on.

Anyway, the crew seemed to be in need of some music and fun, and you were too busy looking for your Captain to care about that.

In the midst of the evening breeze, the crackling of the fire, and the barrels of beer crashing in celebration, you saw the answer you were looking for.

Of course.

¨If I didn´t love you...¨ you growled as you made your way out of the island to reach the Polar Tang. And let´s face it, that was a detour.

You went straight to your room, where Law would probably be sipping coffee, napping, or just running from the crowds. And just like you, it has been months since he stepped on his own ship and slept in his own bed.

So maybe you could cut him some slack.

However, as you approached the room, there was no smell of coffee. No smell of coffee and no light snoring. Just a stillness carried with heavy emotions and your boyfriend, sitting in the dim light holding tight the crochet piece you gave him years ago. You swayed in place, expecting that thing you made to provoke him to be at the sea bottom.

¨Wondering why I kept this?¨ he asked.

¨Not really.¨ you replied. ¨But I am surprised. Am I disturbing?¨

¨You never do.¨

You jumped on the bed, sitting beside him and resting your head on his shoulder.

¨YN-ya... do you know how he...¨ the question struggled to come out.

¨Peaceful.¨

¨Hm.¨ he nodded.

¨I don´t like when he smiles, though. It creeps me out.¨ His body bounced slightly as he joined you in a chuckle.

¨Remember when you gave me this?¨

¨Of course, you almost kicked me out of the ship!¨ you giggled with the memory.

¨You were really annoying back then.¨

¨Hey! Objection!¨

¨Objection rebuffed.¨ he smirked and moved on the bed, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You told him to shut up before cuddling in, not falling asleep immediately. None of you said much. Instead, you enjoyed the calming and comfortable silence of each other´s company.

It has been a while since you had that.

You remember every moment of your early days as a Heart Pirate. You and Law hadn´t started on the best terms, but he needed you - well, your skills - and you were given a good deal.

The pivot of your history together began on a chain of coincidences. The first one being both of you docking on the same island. The second one was him finding a rare coin for his collection, the same one you would later slip into your pocket.

You wandered around towns using the beautiful art of distraction to get anything you wanted from anyone. Watches, necklaces, wallets, and, well, coins? It was all he had in his pocket, and since it was a cute one, you decided to keep it.

Some called you a thief. Some called you a burglar, and some may even have called you a big son of a bitch. But the thing they all had in common was that none of them knew exactly who they were calling those names.

The thing is, you messed up the first rule and made eye contact with him. Well, it was more of you not being able to take your eyes off of him. He stood out in the crowd, and you had gotten cocky. So when he later found out about the missing coin, it did not take him long to connect you to it.

A lot of things went through his mind. He felt frustrated because his Haki failed him, annoyed for the trouble he would have going after you, and intrigued by the touch so light he did not feel at all.

Or that is what he kept telling himself.

Yes, he was interested in someone with skills like yours, but maybe there was something else he would not admit. The way you looked at him as if you had deciphered his entire life and found the missing pieces of his puzzle. Even the ones he tried to hide.

That night he went out for your head. Or better, your heart, literally.

You were enjoying the comfort of your hotel room, eating some snacks, and playing with your new commemorative coin when he materialized himself by the bed. You instantly knew something was about to go down.

Oh, fuck.

That situation got pretty tense pretty quickly, both ends asking things, and no one willing to offer any answers. The stakes were high, glares cutting the air like blades. It did not help to ease the mood when in the sway of his hand your heart popped out of your chest.

Long story short, his plan was never to drag you to the Polar Tang. Law wanted you to go willingly, joining his crew in exchange for your heart. However, the unfortunate variable he did not consider in the equation was that you would not go down without a fight. So by the time he reached the ship, he noticed the gentle fresh breeze ruffling his hair.

You know, since his hair was usually covered by the hat.

...

THE FREAKING HAT!

The next morning when he returned, you were waiting for him with a satisfied smirk bending your lips, the hat on your head, and the coin dancing between your fingers.

At some point, you had stolen it, and once again, it passed unnoticed by him. That was not a good night for the Heart Pirates. And that was also the night Trafalgar Law realized a couple of things. The first, he needed you on his crew. And the second, you were going to be the death of him. Or maybe the aneurysm of him, he would not give you such credit.

¨You´re late.¨ you said, amused, and his grip tightened around the sword.

¨What´s your name?¨ he repeated the question you dodged several times during your last encounter.

¨What´s with the dog?¨ you pointed at the tall, white polar bear wearing a uniform. Law pursued his lips, breathing heavily through the nose.

¨I am B-¨

¨Bepo-ya don´t talk to he-¨

¨Your name is Bepoya?¨ you ignored the man, bumping into his shoulder as you walked towards the mink ¨Hi, I´m Y/N! Nice meeting you.¨

The polar bear looked back and forth at you and his Captain, not knowing how to behave in this situation, so he apologized and stepped farther back.

¨Alrighty, now that we are all introduced, shall we go?¨

¨What?¨

¨Come on, Law, focus.¨ you snapped your fingers multiple times, teasing him. ¨You came here to pick me up, right?¨

¨No. I want my hat back.¨ He tried to grab it, but you ducked in time, holding the hat on your head with both hands. It was so soft.

¨How about a trade? The coin for the hat.¨

¨How about my hat for your heart? Do this, and I won´t...¨ his words died in his mouth as he clutched his pockets.

¨Looking for this?¨ You held your heart, wrapped in a cold and gelatinous box that you retrieved when you bumped into him minutes earlier.

How could you fool him again? He kept seeking answers that explained why it was so easy for you to outwit him, and his expression showed.

¨You´re getting close, Law. Put your little trash can to work.¨ you tapped your temple, smiling mischievously at him.

¨YN-ya, you know I can kill you, right?¨

¨Yeah, but you won´t.¨

¨How do you know?¨

¨I got a sixth sense for these things.¨

The rest of the conversation did not take long to come to an end. Amid sarcastic comments and threats to each other's lives, what should have been the pinnacle of the moment became a random passage in the Heart Pirates´ logbook.

¨So, YN-ya, do you want to join us? You´re gonna have to wear a uniform and address me as Captain.¨

¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

Law sighed, giving himself a carotid massage ¨Ok. Let´s go.¨

He walked a few steps ahead of you and Bepo, wondering why he spent so much effort on an arrogant thief that wouldn't even call him Captain.

You quickly became friends with the polar bear, even apologizing for calling him a dog. He strangely apologized for your apologies, culminating in what would almost make the notorious Surgeon of Death suffer a stroke.

¨What the hell is that?!¨ you shouted when the Polar Tang entered your field of vision ¨That´s not a ship!¨

What if I am claustrophobic?

The ya thing is a schtick?

Death? That´s a little borderline controversial for a doctor.

Trafalgar more like Trafraude!

On occasions like that, Law wondered how peaceful and quiet would be the sixth level of Impel Down. From a current perspective, your initial interaction served as a vaccine, creating the necessary antibodies Law would need to deal with future pirate alliances.

The crew got attached to you very quickly. Your adventurous spirit, your stunts, and street trades fascinated them. Losing bets against you seemed acceptable, your card tricks and the thing of guessing the numbers they thought was like fuel for a good day at work.

Law didn't seem to mind that much. After all, you wouldn't get him on his nerves if you were busy with them. However, one day, you let slip something that caught his attention.

¨YEAH! That´s exactly what she looked like! How did you do this?!¨

Law heard Shachi´s roar, followed by a wave of surprised ´ooh´s coming from the kitchen, where the majority of the crew hunched around the dinner table.

The doctor leaned against the door, silently observing what could possibly be more important than keeping the ship working. He had been drowning in files all night, and now he decided to have a coffee break. That mess early in the morning did not make him happy.

No one seemed to be too intimidated when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Everyone greeted him with smiling 'good mornings' and turned their attention back to you.

¨What is going on here?¨

¨Captain did you know Y/N can see dead people?!¨

The coffee left a bitter aftertaste on his mouth.

¨What?¨

¨Yeah, Captain!¨ Shachi yelled on Law´s face, earning a death glare ¨She just described my mom!¨

¨Really, Y/N-ya? Now you´re a magician and a psychic?¨ he asked, taking the seat across from you.

¨The perks of being me.¨ you shrugged.

¨Do you see more dead people here?¨

Yes

¨No. But you sound a little skeptical, Law.¨

It was way too early for that discussion, but your biological clock didn't seem to care. Whenever Law came with his teasing, you would be ready to strike back.

He gave everyone a lecture about empathic accuracy and how good you were reading cues communicated by words, emotions, and body language. Or some crap like that.

¨Ok, let me see if I got this right.¨ You shifted in the chair, hands moving in the air ¨You can pull organs out of people´s bodies, cut them in pieces without killing, switch their souls, but you do not believe that I can see dead people?¨

He tilted his head, but not giving you an exact answer.

¨Do you wanna know what I think?¨

¨No.¨

¨I´ll tell you anyway. I think you have something you don´t want people to know, like a soft spot or a tragic past.¨ you sought the answer in his eyes ¨I´m guessing a loved one who died?¨

Overall, he was not wrong. You were a master in reading people´s body language, but you were not a jackass. So when the slight twitch of his mouth cleared up your doubts, it was time to stop.

You knew how it felt, soft spots, tragic pasts, or late loved ones. There was no need to go further and throw more salt on his wounds. Hopefully, that taught him a lesson.

An awkward silence ensued while everyone watched the scene, uncertain how to act, fearful that an extra spark would make everything explode into massive destruction.

¨Whatever.¨ he sighed ¨Show´s over. We´ll be reaching land in a few days, and we should be preparing to dock.¨

When everyone left the kitchen to go about their businesses, you remained alone with the figure that constantly wandered the submarine. He didn't do it in a creepy way. Despite his extravagant makeup and the intimidating aura, he was not a bother.

And it wasn't like he was there all the time, definitely more than anyone else. His passages were guaranteed on the days when Law was more sensitive. For bad or for good. He would look after him from the distance like a parenting figure.

¨Who are you?¨ you murmured under your breath.

For the next few days, Law made sure you were too busy to foster discussions about dead people or paranormal abilities.

When your services stealing rare supplies or getting answers to your Captain's questions you weren't required, you would help him with mountains of paperwork.

Only this time, he had outdone himself.

He managed to assemble the annual check-up of the crew, the inventory packing list, and the update of the logbook at once. This last one could easily wait until after you docked. But that freaking workaholic sadistic surgeon would not let this opportunity slip. So you pulled several all-nighters writing, signing, and stamping, all without exchanging a single word.

When you emerged, a few miles from land, you barely enjoyed the fresh breeze and sunlight. The crew hopped around, getting ready to put their feet on the continent as you sat in the kitchen profusely grouchy.

Your brain was fried, burnt, carbonized.

¨You´re not coming?¨ Penguin asked, and you shook your head. ¨It´s been a while, Y/N, you should come.¨ you shook your head again. ¨I guess you´re not buying anything for the Captain´s birthday as well.¨

An incohesive question came out of your exhausted being. Penguin couldn´t help but feel sorry for you. ¨By the time his birthday comes up, we will be underwater, so everyone is preparing.¨

¨Do I have to?¨

¨No!¨ he chuckled ¨He doesn´t really like it, but we still buy him something.¨

¨Why?¨

¨´Cause he is a good Captain!¨ he said and sprunt out by the voice of someone calling him, waving goodbye at you.

It wasn't that you didn´t think Law was a good Captain. It was just an inherent nature of yours to clash every time you looked at each other.

But on such occasion, you could combine the useful with the pleasant. After all, you were grateful because he gave you friends. Of course, he was the unfortunate by-product that came with them, but you could handle him.

So fighting against your will to stay and sleep, you forced your way out to the solid ground, hoping to find the most random store someone could wish for, a haberdasher.

Much to your delight, you did it. You picked a burgundy color wool and the first hook you put your eyes on and returned to your soft bed.

The chances of you having scared your crewmates by staring at the blank for hours were high. In reality, you wanted to memorize and come up with a pattern for the strange-looking beanie that man wore.

It had no pompom at the top like Penguin´s. Instead, two long pieces of fabric ran down from each side with heart-like things hanging.

When the sixth day of the tenth month arrived, Law´s desk was cluttered with presents. You had decided to wait until you were done with work and heading to bed to give it to him.

After conquering that task, you locked yourself in your room, where you stayed until you had it finished. For some reason, you bothered to buy a box to put it in. Whatever.

On the sixth day of the tenth month, Trafalgar Law could not focus on work. Every slight movement of yours, every bathroom break got him jittery, rehearsing words that wouldn´t make you hate him more.

Not that you ever hated him, but you didn´t talk, so he didn´t know. After some time starting small talks and being ignored, you just gave up trying.

By the end of that night, he had given up too. So when you placed the golden-yellow box on his desk, he couldn´t vocalize his feelings. It became just another silent night.

Chests tight and hearts clogged with unspoken words.

Law did not work for the next couple of days, and if he left his room, no one saw. The gifts on his desk were not even opened. Everything was left the way it was.

Maybe you had crossed a line.

As you marched up to the room at the end of the hall, several paths popped into your mind. You could act like you didn´t care, so what if you left? You had been alone for so long, it wouldn't make any difference! Still, something was begging you to apologize. To ask to stay, because being there was good, everything you never knew you wanted.

You were ready to pack your bags and have your title as a Heart Pirate retracted when you woke up one morning, finding a note on your desk telling you to meet him in his room. Your nails dug into your sweaty palms. Where did this tightness in your chest come from?

When you set foot in the room, your eyes hovered around. It was the first time you saw Law's room. It was exactly how you thought it would be.

Keeping your gaze locked on his was more difficult. He was sitting in an armchair near the foot of the bed. From afar, his appearance remained neat, as always, but as you approached you saw the circles under his eyes even darker. A thing you didn't think was possible.

For the first time, you didn't know how to read his expression. And seeing him vulnerable like that made your stomach drop. So you prepared yourself for the worst. However, to your surprise, all he did was ask you questions.

No snarky remarks. You just talked.

That day something changed. And from that day on, Law had found someone to help him carry the unbearable weight he had on his shoulders, and you found a place to call home.

...

¨Y/N-ya.¨ he called you, who was a cuddle away from sleeping.

¨Hm?¨

¨Before you left, in Sabaody...¨

¨Uhm.¨

¨You stole the coin again, didn´t you?¨

You giggled and pulled the commemorative coin from your back pocket, snuggling closer to his body and feeling the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

Extra notes: I hope you had enjoyed it! It came out a little too long, but I have been feeling like I´m limiting myself when it comes to the number of words... I don´t know, I´m confused.

Anyway, is that pink and red that I see on the horizon?

#one piece #one piece x y/n #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law x reader #law x reader #law #surgeon of death #heart pirates #bepo #penguin #shachi #worst generation #corasan #polar tang check-up #sabaody archipelago #warlords of the sea

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hotpinkhoshi · 3 years

Text

devour (m)

pairing: human!baekhyun x vampire!reader (f) genre: smut, paranormal warnings: mentions of blood, pain, monsters etc, explicit sex involving some slight dom/sub themes but not really. a lot of position switching, oral (m receiving), cursing word count: 6.6k summary: you’re thirsty. so damn thirsty. and baekhyun is the only one that can give you what you want. it’s the last time, really the last time, you tell yourself. a/n: hello my lovely amazing readers! thank you so much for being so patient with me these last several months, i know i haven’t been very consistent with my posting BUT i promise i’m trying. i started this piece about 3 weeks ago and my only goal was to finish it by the end of the month. thankfully i just barely finished in time! i hope you enjoy but first, a disclaimer: i haven’t read or watched anything about vampires in many years so i know there may be things that don’t technically make sense. vampire enthusiasts pls do not come for me, i did my best. thanks to: all my followers, @jjinyounf for discussing vampire reproductive systems, & @flowerbeom and @jjpmoans for hyping me up and giving me love and encouragement whenever i need it, which is a lot!

Last time, you told yourself it was the last time.

The last time you let Baekhyun into your apartment at half past three in the morning, so out of your mind starving that you could hardly even see straight. The last time you let him take you, command your body like it was no longer your own.

You should have known you were lying to yourself.

You [3:28am]: are you up?

Baek [3:29am]: yea, why?

You [3:31am]: can you come over?

After your last message, you got no response. Perhaps, you thought, he’d fallen asleep or worse, had no interest in being your blood bag for the night. You would be disappointed, but you wouldn’t blame him.

You rolled over in bed, flopping onto your stomach as you buried your face into your pillow. Maybe you could simply push through and wait until morning, when Kyungsoo would be awake and able to help you.

After you turned a few months ago, totally unexpectedly, it had flipped your world upside down. Kyungsoo found you, shivering and delirious by a dumpster where your fun little one night stand had left you.

Kyungsoo was human, but he was the type of person that people trusted and allowed into their worlds, no matter who they were. As one of the general surgeons of the local hospital, he’d gotten himself into a position of substantial power over both the humans and the vampires of your city. He never used it as a weapon—only as leverage to keep the humans safe.

When he found you, he’d wrapped you in his jacket and carried you to his apartment, but you didn’t remember anything until many days later. Kyungsoo nursed you to health, providing you with a vampire crash course to prepare you for the rest of your life. Of eternity.

Then he’d introduced you to some of his friends at a party after you were more comfortable, although you had yet to feed on a living human. There was a whole community of humans that got off on it, that lived for the pain and pleasure of letting a vampire feed on them.

It was at this party that you met Baekhyun. He had a mischievous glint in his eye when Kyungsoo told him your name and left the two of you alone in the dimly lit, smoky club basement. Something about that look in Baekhyun’s eyes told you he knew you’d be his by the end of the night.

The feeling, the taste, the pure ecstasy of finally consuming fresh blood was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, even when you were alive. Your senses were heightened as a vampire as it was, but as soon as his blood hit your tongue, it was like your world exploded into a million colors.

But even though you’d been the monster drinking his blood, Baekhyun remained in control. He laid you out on his bed and pinned your wrists to the mattress with one hand, his other wrist pressed into your mouth as he forced you to feed.

You whimpered and cried out when it was too much, when the overstimulation of his blood and the way he was rocking into you at a brutally rhythmic pace had you seeing stars. He never relented; only fucked you harder as you writhed under him.

After that night, you never wanted anyone else. Baekhyun was the only man you wanted to feed from. With him, you didn’t feel like a monster. You didn’t feel like a thing, like a horror story to tell in the dark.

He made you feel human again.

Tonight, the thirst was too much to handle. It was clouding your mind and keeping you awake as you twisted and turned under the covers. You couldn’t tell if you were craving his blood or craving him, but you were too weak to care.

You hated the thirst. It was like dehydration, tenfold. Your head hurt, your lips were dry no matter how many times you wet them, and all you could think about was warm blood sliding down your throat. It was maddening.

The telltale sound of your apartment’s buzzer had you sitting up in bed, so quickly that it made your head spin, the noise signaling that you had a visitor down at the main entrance to your building.

You scurried off the bed and hurried to the door, nearly running into it as you slid on the hardwood in your socks to let him in. You told yourself the eagerness to see him was only because you were thirsty, certainly nothing more.

As soon as you opened the door, you felt embarrassingly underdressed.

Baekhyun had dyed his hair since you’d last seen him. It was now a silver blonde, perfectly messy and framing his stupidly beautiful features. He’d been out tonight, you realized. The glitter on his cheekbones gave it away.

His hands were stuffed comfortably in the pockets of his leather jacket with a faded graphic tee underneath, and expertly tailored black jeans practically painted onto his lower half.

You tugged the hem of your T-shirt down, even though he’d already had you in positions that you hadn’t even thought were physically possible—vampire or not. For some reason, you still felt bare in front of him in your pajama shorts and oversized tee.

“Hmm,” Baekhyun hummed as he stepped inside, letting the heavy door close behind him. He smelled like smoke and rum. “Look at you. Is someone thirsty?”

You blinked, grateful that you were incapable of blushing. As ravenous and desperate for blood as you were, the way he looked you up and down made you feel small and shy.

“Can I?” you asked, reaching for his wrist, half tucked into the pocket of his jacket.

“Uh-uh.” He stepped back just before your fingers brushed his skin. “You know that’s not how it works, baby. You still need to work for it.”

If you wanted to, you could muster your strength and slam him into the door, dive for his neck and bleed him dry before he even realized what was happening. But you didn’t. You wanted this, you wanted to beg and plead until finally, he rewarded you.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered, then dragged your tongue over the dry, cracking skin of your lips. “I’m so thirsty. I’ll do whatever you want.”

He seemed pleased by this, judging by the way his lips turned into a familiar smirk. “I know you will. Come on, let’s go sit down.”

You followed him to the living room obediently, watching as he made himself comfortable on the couch. He shrugged his jacket off, revealing the expanse of his forearms down to his wrists, covered in bite marks in various stages of healing.

All from you.

If he had chosen to get his fix somewhere else, you wouldn’t have any reason to be envious or hurt. But it filled you with a sense of pride that he didn’t, that you were the only one he allowed to taste him.

You moved to sit next to him, but Baekhyun stopped you. He took your hand, leading you to stand in between his parted legs.

“Knees.”

It took one word for you to drop to the carpet, your bare knees pressing into the old scratchy shag rug you’d had for ages. He kept your fingers in his palm, rubbing his thumb idly over the back of your hand.

“Good girl.” With his other hand, he tucked your hair behind your ear, his wrist brushing against your cheek so that you could hear the pulse beneath his skin.

“Baek…” you began, turning slightly until your nose brushed his skin. “Just a taste. Please.”

Baekhyun lifted your chin with his finger and locked eyes with you. You filled with warmth already, just one look enough to send your mind racing with images of everything you wanted from him. His blood was further down the list than you would have thought.

“Just a taste,” he repeated.

With that, he let go of your hand and turned slightly to reach into the pocket of his discarded jacket. When he pulled out the shiny folded metal, you gulped hungrily.

The pocketknife brandished with a metallic click.

It wasn’t uncommon for humans to carry weapons these days. After all, vampires weren’t the only monsters that roamed the streets after dusk, and not all vampires were quite as friendly with humans as you were.

Your eyes followed Baekhyun’s nimble fingers as he brought the very end of his knife to his middle finger, twisting the point into his fingertip until a spot of blood appeared.

It took every bit of self control that you possessed not to reach out in desperation for his hand and bring it to your mouth. But you knew better—you knew if you broke, Baekhyun would stand up and walk out the door like you were less than nothing to him.

He watched you with interest as he held his finger just out of your reach, eyes dancing with that mischievous stare he had when he teased you. You would despise it if you didn’t know that eventually, he always caved.

Finally, when your mouth had gone dry and you could feel the warm tingle that meant your fangs were about to protrude, Baekhyun brought his index and middle fingers to your mouth.

He slipped them past the parched skin of your lips, your entire world blooming as soon as his middle finger touched the center of your tongue. You moaned, eyes falling shut.

“Look how needy you are,” he remarked after a beat. His voice was strained, though, as if watching your display of bliss was causing him physical pain.

He let you go for a while, maybe half a minute, before he was removing his fingers from your mouth. You couldn’t help but whine, resisting every urge not to grab at his wrist to keep him there.

With the small amount of his blood you’d been able to milk from his finger, you already felt renewed. A surge of energy coursed through you like you’d just been injected with adrenaline.

“What do you say?” Baekhyun asked with a cocked brow.

You swallowed, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. “Thank you.”

Without a second thought, you reached for Baekhyun’s belt, fingers quickly undoing the metal buckle. Your ears picked up the quickening of his heartbeat from the moment you undid the button of his pants.

It was no surprise that most vampire-human relationships, if not ending in death, ended in sex. Feeding, in your experience, was extremely sensual and instantly created feelings of arousal within both parties. It was almost better than sex, and when the two came together? It was euphoric.

You were pleased to find him half-hard already by the time you got his zipper down, your hand wrapping around the length of him under the fabric of his briefs. Baekhyun inhaled sharply, holding his breath until you had pulled his cock from his underwear.

Only a few seconds passed before you leaned forward, parting your lips to run your tongue along the underside of his member. Your eyes remained open, locked on Baekhyun’s face to gauge his reaction.

He loved it, of course.

With a groan, he tipped his head back, exposing his throat and sending a shockwave to your core. You wanted his throat, his neck, all of that fresh, warm blood pumping beneath his skin. But you wanted to taste it while he was inside of you. It would be worth the wait.

Your eyes fell shut as you took his length into your mouth, deeper and deeper with each stroke until he hit the back of your throat. Unlike men you’d been with when you were human, Baekhyun made no effort to remain quiet. He was loud, and you loved it.

If you had your way, all of your days would be filled with Baekhyun’s voice. His moans, his rough whispers in your ear, his laugh, his hums as he completed mundane tasks like wiping down the counters or tying his shoes. Deep down, you wanted it all.

“Good girl, that’s my girl,” he whispered, reaching forward to lace his fingers in your hair. He curled his hand into a tight fist, a deliciously sharp pain spreading across your scalp.

You whimpered, lips wrapped tight and wet around him. He guided you back and forth for a while with his hand in your hair, muttering soft praises all the while. By the way his hips were twitching towards your face, you knew he was getting lost in the ministrations of your mouth.

Baekhyun soon dropped his hand from your hair, signaling you to pull away, just in time for him to stand up and pull you to your feet.

A squeak of surprise fell from your lips as he lifted you, hooking your legs around his waist in a simple, swift movement.

“Bed,” he said simply.

Baekhyun carried you through your apartment as if it was his own, lips kissing and nipping at your neck as he dodged every obstacle between the two of you and the bedroom. He stopped once, in the hallway, to lean you into wall and roll his hips into your center.

His name came out as a sigh.

Then, finally, he dropped you onto the center of your bed. It was messy from your previous tossing around in the sheets from your thirst, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun reached for the comforter, knotted and piled together under your lower back, and easily tossed it off the bed to leave nothing but the sheets under you.

He stood at the foot of the bed, chest heaving up and down, and ran his fingers through his hair. The look in his eyes had you squirming, ready for him to devour you in every way possible.

“Are you still thirsty, baby?”

Your heart clenched at the pet name, even though he always called you that, loving the way it sounded on his lips. You gulped, nodding as you batted your eyelashes.

“Yes,” you admitted.

“Take off your clothes,” he told you, hands reaching for his jeans, still unbuttoned, to push them down his legs.

It took less than a second for you to obey, clutching the waistband of your shorts and shoving them off of you. You knew he liked when you kept your underwear on, just so he could use it to further torture you by keeping a layer between you.

You slipped your thin T-shirt off, throwing it to the side and laying back into the mattress again. Baekhyun had removed his own shirt, leaving just his briefs from letting you see all of him.

You could marvel at his body for hours—he was slender, but solid. He wasn’t much taller than you, but his shoulders were broad enough to make you feel protected in those rare moments when he held you in his arms.

This time, though, you noticed something new. There was a handful of bruises and scratches marring his body, completely different from the puncture marks that your fangs left when you fed on him. Blinking, you furrowed your eyebrows, fingers reaching out.

“What are-”

“No questions,” Baekhyun cut you off, reaching for your hands before they could reach their destination. His face softened, ever so slightly, when you quickly retreated, curling your hands up near your own chest. “We’re not here to talk, are we, baby?”

Just like that, he made you forget the suspicious marks on his chest, even one slash that looked particularly painful. Almost like he’d been cut by a knife.

Watching the way he licked his lips as his eyes traveled down your body, slowly, so slowly, you were easily steered back to the task at hand. You dropped your hands to the sheets, digging your nails into the fabric as he overwhelmed each of your senses.

Even from here, you could smell his blood. From here, you could hear the steady, strong beat of his heart, taste the alcohol and nicotine of his kiss. Your body was calling out to him and you weren’t sure how much longer you could deny what it needed.

“Baekhyun,” you found yourself whining, hips squirming under his hungry gaze.

His eyes snapped up to your face then, so much desire and pure lust in his stare that you felt a brand new surge of heat travel through your limbs.

“Mm, first…” he pressed one knee down into the mattress, then the other, until he was hovering over you. “We have to see if you’re ready for me, don’t we?”

Baekhyun led a painfully light touch down the middle of your chest with his index and middle fingers, between your bare breasts, and down the valley of your stomach at a pace that had you biting your tongue just to keep from begging him for the nth time. It would only further encourage him to play with you, of which you could only tolerate so much.

You knew his moves by now, knew that he would trail those fingers down to your waist, over the elastic of your panties until he found the evidence of your arousal between your legs. You knew his moves, and he still had you whimpering the moment his fingers brushed your clit through your panties.

Your toes curled into the sheets as you tried desperately not to show how crazy he was making you. He knew already, though, the moment he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties and found wetness between your legs.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said with a smirk, tongue running cheekily along his lower lip. “You’re dripping, Y/N. You’re this wet just from sucking me off?”

Again, you were grateful for your inability to blush.

“Answer me,” he demanded suddenly, eyes turning dark just the way you liked them.

“Yes!” you replied, hips canting up towards Baekhyun’s hand. “Yes, I’m this wet just from sucking you off.”

Even after you closed your eyes, you were sure you could see the cocky smirk that was undoubtedly painted upon his lips. He lived for this, the feeling of absolutely owning you. You, an immortal, bloodthirsty, powerful woman despite how weak he made you.

As his fingers delved lower, just until he could dip them into your entrance, you mewled and turned your cheek towards the pillow. “Please,” you breathed.

Baekhyun’s lips brushed your neck. “Please, what?”

“Want you… want-“ you sighed as his fingers pushed deeper, to his second knuckle. “Want you inside.”

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t surprise you when he finally gave in, but you couldn’t complain. Though he didn’t concede without a few deep pumps of his fingers, enough to have you gasping and close to ripping the sheets apart beneath you.

Baekhyun slipped his fingers from you and stood from the bed, his hands pushing down his briefs without hesitation. He nodded at you once, motioning with his chin to the headboard behind you.

“On your knees, and face the headboard.”

Renewed with your need to feel Baekhyun inside of you, you easily flipped over onto all fours, that warm sensation in your gums warning you that your fangs would extend at any moment. You didn’t fight it, hoping that it wouldn’t be much longer until you would need them.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun exhaled, just before you felt the bed shift with his weight as he moved behind you. “You’re beautiful, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love seeing you like this.”

You’re beautiful.

The words echoed in your mind, though you knew they probably shouldn’t. He rarely complimented you so boldly, especially before he was inside of you, overwhelmed with pleasure and pain. Curling your hands into fists, you shoved your feelings down because you needed to. A survival instinct, really.

Because if you fell for him, if you opened your heart, the odds were against you. You weren’t sure why he chose you, why you were the only one he allowed to feed from him, but you couldn’t let yourself see it as any more than a mutual transaction of pleasure.

Baekhyun snapped you out of your thoughts easily the moment he pressed up against you from behind, his hands molding down your sides until he could place them upon your hips.

You hung your head between your shoulders, reaching your hands out to grip the wooden slats of your headboard. The anticipation was always the best, and worst, part of this.

It almost scared you how well Baekhyun knew your body. He knew when he trailed his fingertips down between your shoulder blades that you’d shiver and bite your lip, using every ounce of willpower that you possessed not to beg him. Even though you were pretty sure that’s what he wanted.

He knew when he leaned forward and kissed your shoulder, that you’d ultimately lose the battle with yourself and your dignity. You were hot, sweaty, and desperate. Desperate enough to give in and sob his name, squeezing your headboard so hard that you felt the wood splinter beneath your hands.

Without another word, his lips still pressed to your skin, you finally felt the tip of his cock tease your entrance. You held your breath, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn’t drag it out any longer.

Your wish was granted as he filled you in one long stroke, both of you releasing satisfied moans at the sensation. This... this was bliss.

“How are you-” Baekhyun ground out through his teeth and squeezed your hips hard enough you’d probably bruise, if you could, “-always this tight? God.”

His lips trailed across from one shoulder blade to the other, giving your body a moment to adjust to the girth of him, before he began to move. Just like every other time, he pulled sighs and moans from you that only his ears had ever had the privilege of hearing.

“Oh, my god,” you breathed, your walls clenching around him each time he filled you, his pace making your head spin.

“How’s it feel, baby?” Baekhyun asked, voice low next to your ear.

It took a few more thrusts for you to be able to catch your breath to answer him, your head spinning from the way he was fucking you. It didn’t matter how many times you had him, he always made you like this. Crazy, hungry, and weak.

“Good, so… so good.”

“That’s right,” Baekhyun answered, one hand drifting from your hip down between your legs to find your clit. “You’re taking me so well. Think you might get to feed a little earlier than normal tonight, baby.”

You clenched around him once more at his words. Recently, Baekhyun had started making you wait longer and longer to taste him. The last time, you’d been teetering right on the edge of your second orgasm when he finally bared his neck to you.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world--no, that moment when his blood hit your tongue had sent you towards the most electric, trembling climax you’d ever had. But you had to admit your mouth was watering already at the thought of sinking your teeth into his skin sooner rather than later.

“Please,” you begged, pushing your ass back towards him. “Please, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun rolled his fingers around your clit in circular motions, grunting as he thrusted hard, jolting you forward. You gasped and moaned, throwing your head back in ecstasy.

“You want that, huh? You want me to fuck you while you drink from me?” He matched each stroke of his cock inside of you with the pace of his fingers, drawing tight circles between your legs.

“Yes,” you answered, voice cracking. You didn’t just want it, you needed it. Your fangs were showing now, and you weren’t even sure at what point they’d finally protruded from your gums, a biological response to the thought that you would be needing them soon.

Your world spun, briefly, as Baekhyun grabbed your hips and flipped you from your knees onto your back. It was quick, a move he’d pulled on you so many times you barely even noticed until he was pushing back inside of you.

“Oh, look at you,” he said from above you.

Now that you could see him, you could appreciate his rosy cheeks, the way his hair stuck to his temples, and the subtle way his shoulder muscles contracted each time he moved inside you. Holding himself up with one arm, he trailed his free hand down the side of your face and brushed his thumb over your lip.

“You’re ready to feed, aren’t you, baby? So fucking needy. You think you deserve it?” The pad of his thumb slipped inside of your mouth, daring to trace over the shape of one of your fangs.

All you could do was nod, the ability to actually speak coherent words completely lost on you at the moment.

You waited, as patiently as you could while he was driving you insane, for Baekhyun to make the first move. You never reached for his arm first, never lunged for his neck or his shoulder, simply because you wanted him to have that control.

Baekhyun leaned down, his lips trailing kisses from your chin up to your jaw, until he nipped at your earlobe. “Go ahead, pretty. Take what you want.”

The next time he filled you completely with his cock, you finally sunk your teeth into Baekhyun’s neck, that same spot that you had claimed as your own already. You whimpered as his blood filled your mouth, sliding down your throat.

You reveled in the way he tasted and the sinful way he inhaled sharply at the initial bite before he let out a long, blissful moan. Your body was on fire now, so consumed in Baekhyun and the way he felt buried this deep inside of your heat. It was like you were invincible.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him into you easily. It was different when you fed from him like this. You had to be careful, control yourself so that you didn’t hurt him too badly, but it tasted so damn good.

Before you could get carried away, you forced yourself to pull back, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. Even though you were no longer feeding, you felt the effects of his blood rushing through your body already.

It was electric and overwhelming in the best possible way, heightened even more so by the way Baekhyun fit inside of you and stretched you so perfectly. The entire room had brightened around you as if somebody had switched on a light.

When you were finally able to focus on the man above you, you were pleased to find that he looked just as fucked out as you felt. His arms shook, for a moment, maybe from the quick loss of blood or just the sheer pleasure of it all.

Taken by a moment of bravery, you used your legs hooked around his hips to roll your bodies over so that you could settle on top of him and let him rest for a moment. His wound would heal quickly—something to do with the healing properties of your saliva, according to Kyungsoo—but you knew he’d need a beat to regain his strength.

The moment he filled you completely, you took in a shuddering breath and planted your hands on his chest. Baekhyun stared up at you, eyes filled with awe, lips parted as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words.

“Wanna ride you,” you whispered, licking your lips once again. “I want to make you - make you feel good,” you admitted.

Baekhyun’s hands found your thighs, pale and smooth, and dug his fingertips into your skin. Slowly, those fingertips trailed up to your hips to pull you closer, forcing you into a rocking motion atop of him.

“Go on, then,” he breathed. “Make me feel good.”

It occurred to you then that you’d been in this position with him only once before, and it only lasted a couple of minutes before he flipped you onto your back and took over control. This time, though, you wanted to take it until the end. You wanted him to see just a shred of the power you could have over him.

Maybe you didn’t realize it until now, but you knew Baekhyun’s body just as well as he knew yours.

You knew when you rolled your hips just right, he’d groan and his eyes would flutter closed as he fought not to thrust himself further inside of you. You knew his hands would start to roam, squeezing and groping at the smooth flesh of your hips and stomach.

Not until Baekhyun had you learned to appreciate a man’s hands on you without feeling self conscious or try to cover up. Maybe because Baekhyun owed you nothing, there was no reason for him to lie to you or tell you what you wanted to hear. With his hands and his lips, he painted his honest truth on your body without saying a word.

You started to lose yourself more and more with each roll, each circular grind of your hips on top of him, letting your needy moans fill the room along with his.

“Just like that,” Baekhyun praised, both hands holding firmly onto your waist. “Tell me, who makes you feel this good?”

You pressed your hands more firmly into his stomach and opened your eyes, only a little surprised to find him staring up at you again as if he was trying to drink in every inch of your body.

Just when you were about to answer, Baekhyun bucked his hips up, pushing himself deeper inside of you—deep enough to make you shiver and lose any and all words that could have gone through your mind.

“I-” you started, fighting the urge to close your eyes. With the way he was looking at you, you knew that Baekhyun wanted your eyes on him. “Y-you,” you could only whisper.

“I said,” he said, through his teeth, surprising you as he sat up underneath of you so that your chests were flush together. “Who makes you feel like this?”

“You, you, you,” you cried, feeling the familiar heat building in your belly and spreading down towards your thighs. “Baekhyun, oh, fuck…”

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hummed, pleased, pulling you even closer to him. “Such a good girl. You know exactly who you belong to, don’t you? No one else can ever have you like this.”

Even as far gone as you were, something about his words made you shiver, mind racing with all the ways he could mean those words. You’d accepted that you wanted more from him, more than a late night fuck and feed, but what if he felt the same way?

“No one.”

Baekhyun pressed the words onto your lips. You clawed at his shoulders, not caring if you marked him, if you left scratches to match the mysterious half-healed slashes across his torso. You wanted him to belong to you, too, if only in one way.

The kiss sent you closer to your high as your thoughts got the best of you, imagining what your life might be like if you could belong to each other.

Maybe you could wake up next to him someday, help him with breakfast by frying the bacon while he mixed pancake batter. Or you could fall asleep curled up into his side, hand pressed to his chest, counting his heartbeats.

“Close,” you whispered. “I’m so close.”

“Me too, baby. Me too.” Baekyun pulled back first from the kiss, one hand in your hair and the other helping you keep your pace, gripped possessively around your hip.

When you finally tumbled over the edge, you could only speak incoherent mumbles and whispers of pleasure into the crook of his neck as your body bowed forward into him.

Fireworks exploded behind your vision with your climax, a feeling you should have been used to by now, but you still found yourself practically blacking out every time. It was stronger, more powerful since you became a vampire. Like every cell of your body was exploding and putting itself back together again.

“I got you, pretty, I’m here,” you heard Baekhyun whisper as he thrust into you from below, fucking you through the intense waves of your orgasm.

The feeling returned to your fingertips what felt like an hour later, even though it was probably only a minute or two, and you found yourself able to open your eyes. You blinked a few times to let your eyes refocus, taking in the sight of Baekhyun so close to you, so close to his peak.

“Baekhyun, I can’t-” you gasped, willing your trembling thighs to move so you could resume your movements on top of him. It was no use—you just didn’t have the strength.

Baekhyun moved quickly, easily flipping your positions so that he was above you once more. He remained on his knees, grabbing one of your pillows to shove under your lower back. From this angle, he could wrap your legs around his waist and grind into you at the perfect angle.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, hands scrambling to clutch the sheets underneath of you. All you could do was watch him, devour him with your eyes the same way you had devoured him with your mouth.

From the moment you met him, you’d thought he was beautiful. It always struck you as unfair that he appeared to be without flaws, as if you had dreamed him up. He just simply couldn’t be real. And if he was real, it was a miracle he wanted anything to do with you.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth. He was losing control, moving closer and closer to the edge with each deep thrust.

Your fingers squeezed and tugged at the sheets beneath your hands, the only thing you had the physical strength left to do. “Please,” you whined. “I wanna feel you come inside me.”

It didn’t take much longer, only a few more perfect rolls of his hips before he came with a loud, shuddering groan. You felt him spill inside of you, liquid heat that felt like it was never ending. This was your favorite part. It was the closest you could ever feel to him, surrounded in every way.

Once he had come down, Baekhyun fell forward on top of you, catching himself on his forearms. He breathed deep and heavy, face buried between your neck and your shoulder. You found yourself stroking his back, tracing words into his skin that you couldn’t say out loud.

When he finally rolled off of you, he didn’t go far, just flopped onto his side next to you. Your breath caught in your throat when he pulled you closer, one arm around your back and the other grazing your shoulder.

Outside the window, you heard the morning birds begin their chirping. It was easier to focus on their melody than just how close Baekhyun was. Close enough to hear his pulse, quick and strong.

“You okay?” he asked, nose nudging your jaw. “You get enough?”

You swallowed, suddenly remembering the whole reason Baekhyun had come over in the first place. Because you both had an itch that needed to be scratched—nothing more.

“Yeah,” you replied weakly. “I got enough.”

But he didn’t move, just let his lips rest softly against your neck. It had never been like this before. Soft, quiet, sweet.

“Why do you only let me feed from you?” you found yourself asking, hand on his chest gently pushing him back. “Why me?”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you sighed, sitting up and pushing your hair out of your face. “All your feeding marks are from me. I’m the only one, right?”

Leaning up onto his elbows, Baekhyun could only shrug as if you’d asked him if he liked sugar in his coffee. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you,” Baekhyun offered. As if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

You blinked. Had you heard him wrong? Did he mean it… like that?

“You like me,” you repeated.

Baekhyun had the nerve to laugh, just a light, airy chuckle. “That’s what I said. Why am I the only one you feed from?”

Gulping, you tore your eyes away from him and shook your head. You wanted to deny it—but you both knew it was true. You’d never told him as much, but you wouldn’t be so desperate for him if you could easily get it somewhere else. Correction: you could have, you just didn’t want to.

“Because I like you.”

When you looked back at Baekhyun, he was grinning, the light catching on the glitter still smeared across his cheeks. He pushed himself to sit up, reaching for your hands. He tugged you closer to him.

“Yeah? You sure you don’t just like my delicious, mouthwatering blood?”

You scoffed and shook your head, feeling a smile tug at your lips. “It’s not that delicious.”

Baekhyun laughed again, and this time you had to join him. It felt like it was too good to be true, him wanting you the way you wanted him. You wanted to pinch yourself, just to make sure you hadn’t blacked out and imagined this whole conversation.

“Since that’s settled,” Baekhyun said, fingers grazing up your arm, your throat, until he was lifting your chin. You saw his affection for you in his eyes, so obvious it made you wonder if you’d been missing it all along.

When his lips touched yours, it was a kiss unlike any other you’d shared with him before. Deep and slow, like you had all the time in the world. You sighed into his mouth, letting his lips quiet every worry you had racing through your brain.

“Stay the night,” you said softly once you parted from him.

Baekhyun smirked, pressing his forehead into yours. “It’s already morning.”

You glanced at the window, noting the soft glow of the sunrise behind your curtains. “Oh. Never-”

“I’m kidding,” he cut you off, stroking his fingertips across your cheek. “Only if you promise to cook breakfast for me when we wake up. You do eat, right?”

“Yes,” you said with a laugh. “I eat. I don’t need to, but I love food too much not to.”

“That’s my girl,” he replied in a low tone, giving you goosebumps.

In order to keep yourself from jumping his bones, you pulled from him and climbed off the bed, searching for the comforter Baekhyun had thrown off the mattress when you’d first laid down. Once you found it, you settled on top of the sheets with him, pulling the blanket over top of your bodies.

Your memories from before you turned were a blur. Some things you could remember, but it was like they’d happened to somebody else. You knew you’d had a series of unsatisfying one night stands, a couple of boyfriends, and a handful of crushes. You remembered the face of the man who turned you, but not his name or how it happened. A blessing, Kyungsoo told you.

And although you couldn’t remember the faces of any of your past lovers, you knew without a doubt in your mind that you would never forget Baekhyun.

You realized as he brought you into his arms that he didn’t just make you feel human, he made you feel like the girl you’d been before.

#byun baekhyun #exo smut #baekhyun smut #exo imagine #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun fic #exo fic #exo fanfic #writing

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amelialincoln · 3 years

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The Way Life Goes (2)

She thic and she important. Feel free to leave part 3 prompts or theories in my ask box. As always, enjoy...

TW: substance abuse

“Have you seen Amelia?” Was the first thing the general surgeon asked Link at the beginning of the work week on Monday. Link shrugged, pushing his overgrown shaggy hair out of his face and tugging his Ipad aggressively out of the charger.

“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’. Meredith eyed him in a way that made him uncomfortable enough to continue. “Scout and I have been crashing at Jo’s since Friday. I’d assume she’s at my apartment.” He didn’t get very far before Meredith stepped in front of him.

“Look, as irritating as it is, the minute shit is going down in her life she’s at my house in seconds. She didn’t come to the after party and hasn’t shown up for her shift yet today. I really doubt she’s just hanging out in your apartment.” She crossed her arms, looking somewhat terrifying, despite the fact that he loomed over her.

“I can't talk right now, I have surgery.” He replied, pushing back any fears of where she might be and focusing on the chart in front of him.

“She rejects your proposal and now you’re just done? What happened to you guys?” Link’s jaw tightened so hard you could hear the sound of his teeth clashing.

“She doesn’t want to be with me. It’s as simple as that.”

“I don’t think she doesn’t want to be with you. She just obviously isn’t ready to get married. And I think you knew that.”

“Whatever, Meredith.” Link’s throat was tight as he pushed past her, swallowing down his guilt.

She had somehow found herself to Link's apartment in a daze, praying he wasn’t there as she pushed through the door. He wasn’t. She grabbed some clean clothes and more cash before leaving once again.

It was somewhat exhilarating, living on the edge. Chasing high after high and making sure that the timing is perfect to prevent any meaningful thoughts from actually surfacing. So far she'd been excelling at it. However, it was when she was halfway back that she realized she had fucked up. Anger and self hatred hit her like a ton of bricks and she almost staggered back. The high had worn off and her mind had started to scream. You are so weak. Back here again after you promised the last time was the end. So many promises, she thought. So many empty promises that she’d broken time and time again. The promise that she’d made to be a good mother. Failed, again. Why should she even attempt to pick up the broken pieces after she found herself back to square one each time? Why not stop trying to fix it and just accept herself for who she truly is, an addict? Why keep disappointing the people that care about her over and over? There was no point. Not anymore. Scout’s name was blaring in her mind like an alarm. He’s better out without you. She convinced herself. Don’t let yourself ruin him. You destroy everything you touch.

“Amelia.” Camilla was looking at her weird. She tried to focus on her new friend, attempting to calm her shaking hands. “Wait too long?” She asked, digging into her bag. All Amelia could do was nod and pull out the cash. “This one’s on me.” Camilla placed a reassuring hand on Amelia’s shoulder as she rolled up her sleeve. She paused, with bated breath, until the image of Scout faded from her mind.

“Can you hear me?” Meredith practically yelled into the crackling phone. “I’m sorry, I know this is your honeymoon. I just still haven’t heard from her and you know her better than me so I need you to tell me what I should do.”

“Is this about Amelia?” Maggie’s groggy voice asked into the speakerphone. “You still haven’t heard from her?”

“I wouldn’t have called if I hadn't. I’m worried about her.” She could practically hear Maggie’s hesitation. “Don’t come back. Don’t even offer that.”

“She’s been having a rough time,” Maggie sighed. “Richard doesn’t let on too much but I know COVID has been hard on her. Link has good intentions. He just hasn’t ever had to see her at her lowest.”

“You think she’s using?” Meredith’s voice was hushed as she passed her Ipad to a nurse and thanked her quietly before letting herself into her office.

“I mean if I rejected a proposal from a man who meant a lot to me because I wasn’t ready I’d probably down a bottle of wine out of guilt." Maggie smiled bitterly.

“She’s stayed sober through a lot worse,” Meredith countered, glancing up to find Bailey waiting at the door with an expression she knew too well. “Hey, I’ve got to go. Tell Winston I say hi.”

“I will. Talk to you later.” Meredith placed her cell phone in her scrub pocket before meeting an irritated Bailey at the door.

“Where’s Shepherd?” Meredith knew what she was going to say before she even spoke the words. She bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing how to respond.

“Why?” She asked, receiving an eyebrow raise.

“Because she’s got a gliosarcoma in an hour and she hasn’t clocked in,” Bailey stated, fixing her lab coat and giving Meredith an exasperated look. “Look, whatever drama she and Doctor Lincoln are having, I don’t care. She can show up to work.”

“I don’t know where she is,” Meredith responded. “I honestly have no idea.”

“Wha--” Bailey started. She let out a grunt of disapproval before waving an agitated hand in the air and storming off. Meredith bit the nail on her thumb, sending yet another message to the missing neurosurgeon and wondered guiltily, for a moment, why she was so self destructive.

Link spent a lot of time in the ER compared to his colleagues. Compared to most other specialties, the majority of cases that presented themselves in the emergency room were ortho related. Most of the time it was pretty mundane, whether it be a broken ankle or a dislocated shoulder, but to keep the hospital from impending lawsuits, he was usually needed to supervise the interns, who were prowling in the ER looking for cases and trying to pop limbs back into place or reset joints, thinking they could handle it easily on their own.

As a result of this, Link was already in the OR when the trauma came in. He was sitting in the swivel chair behind the desk, dragging his feet across the floor to propel him side to side. He wasn’t paged so he was unfazed by the ambulance pulling up. Then again, he wasn’t really fazed by much these days after falling into a somewhat self deprecating state. He stared at the clock, hoping he’d be let off early.

“Did you hear about this?” Bailey asked Richard, as she secured her gown around herself and handed him a pair of gloves.

“Yeah,” Richard’s voice was a tone that Link couldn’t quite decipher. “Bunch of overdoses at Quilchena, saw it on the news in the lounge. Must’ve been something laced in whatever they all were doing.” He snapped his gloves aggressively over his hands as if he were mad at something. “This kind of thing has been happening all the time because of COVID. Addicts have been struggling during the pandemic. Never seen meetings so full.” Link found himself wondering if he was talking about Amelia. Bailey nodded to Richard sympathetically ask they rushed to meet the gurney’s being pushed into the ER.

“John Doe,” the paramedic announced. “Got naloxone at the scene, friend administered it. Conscious but having trouble breathing.”

“Page cardio,” Bailey ordered to a resident. Link watched curiously as Richard froze in place.

“Jane Doe,” the paramedic continued. “Unconscious but breathing. She--”

“Put her in trauma one,” Richard ordered firmly. Link wished he could see what was going on as he watched the blood drain from Bailey’s face. “Don’t let anyone see her. She wouldn’t want that.” It clicked in Link’s brain at that very moment when the pair of them turned to look his way. He got out of the chair he was in so fast that it clattered to the ground behind him.

Her face was so pale it was practically grey and her arms and lips were tinted a purpley blue. She looked so slender he felt like one could reach out and just snap her in half. Her expression was almost peaceful though, and that’s what haunted him most. The image of her was burned into his mind immediately and he knew, as they wheeled her away, that it would never be forgotten.

As Bailey and Richard steered her gurney away he felt frozen in place before finally, and without any indication from his mind, his feet began to follow them.

“She’s seizing,” Bailey exclaimed, her hands flying up to either side of her head to avoid holding any of her limbs in place. “Where the hell is trauma?” Link watched as she twitched, bile building up in the back of his throat. He felt slightly dizzy. He’d never been one to get queasy, even in med school while the rest of his peers either fainted or threw up during their first time observing in an OR. That’s when he knew he wanted to become a surgeon. He wasn’t sure if it was his ego telling him that he was superior for being the last one standing or the tiny and quick glance of approval the attending gave him before going back to ignoring him completely. Though, there must be something different about seeing someone he loved in this situation because he had to place a hand on the doorway to steady himself and looked away. Teddy came through the doors at that moment, brushing past him as if he didn’t exist. For a reason he couldn't quite explain let out a breath of relief that it wasn’t Owen. Something in his mind was screaming your fault, your fault, your fault. And selfishly, he hoped that Meredith, or really anyone who cared for Amelia half as much as he did, wasn’t at the hospital, and theorized that she’d probably beat him to a pulp.

“Can I help?” He found himself croaking, receiving only a glance from Richard.

“Absolutely not,” the general surgeon replied firmly, before finally getting Amelia connected to the monitor. Everyone in the room kind of paused for a moment, reading the levels and unanimously thinking to themselves silently, fuck.

“She’s coding,” Teddy proclaimed, as the alarm-like sound began to reveal itself. Link’s heart sank and he reached out to grab her hand, ignoring Richard’s orders for him to leave. Her palm was cold like ice, but not the dead kind of cold. Cold as if she’d just run in and out of the water, grinning and calling to him as if the ocean’s touch had electrified her, sending a rush of serotonin through her veins. Link remembers that look from when they’d gone down to California, for a conference that she was speaking at, like it were yesterday. She’d convinced him to go swimming, despite it being mid February, and had explained that diving into the frigid waves replicated the feeling of euphoria she used to get when a really good high would hit her full force. She’d told him about how she would swim a lot when she was first getting sober, craving the way the world felt like it was on pause and the way that silence filled her ears when her head was completely underwater. That was really the last time she’d grinned at him like that. Right before Covid had really hit. The first time they’d left Scout for the weekend with his parents. Coming up out of that water like she had been brought back to life.

He’d been so blind. He’d watched her slip into a mindless routine. Go to work. Drive home. Feed the baby. Put the baby to bed. Go to bed. Wake up. Every day, over and over. She would walk around like a ghost, stuck between life and death. He had ignored the way she'd fill her free time with meetings and when she had started going to sleep before he got home, brushed it off as postpartum and told himself that everything between them was fine. Postpartum doesn’t last this long you idiot.

“Clear!” Teddy’s calm voice echoed through the room, snapping him back to reality, and he pulled away his hand last minute before her chest rose and fell. His eyes flicked to the heart monitor, nothing. “Again, charge to three fifty. Clear!” The room fell silent as the compression pads thumped. Nothing. Teddy paused, staring at the monitor.

“Dr. Altman?” The nurse called out. “Again?” Her voice was quiet as the trauma surgeon lifted a hand in response.

“Wait,” her voice had become soft. The monitor beeped as a small peak rose and fell. “Come on, Amelia,” Teddy muttered.

“Charge again,” Bailey ordered.

“Just give her a second,” Teddy pleaded, not taking her eyes off the screen. “She’s fighting.” The trio of doctors stared at the monitor while Link fixated his eyes on his girlfriend and slid his hand into hers once again, interlocking his fingers with hers. Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die. The monitor beeped, and then beeped again, and then again. Link forced himself to look up and watched as the numbers climbed.

“Thank you, god.” Bailey brought a shaking hand to her face before closing her fingers into a fist and pressing it to her forehead. “We are lucky that the lord is looking out for this woman because the people in her life seem to not be.” The comment cut through Link like a knife.

“Bailey, that is not fair!” Richard exclaimed. Link had never heard the man raise his voice with such aggravation, even Bailey winced as she stormed out of the room, throwing her gloves to the side.

“She’s lost a lot of people...and a lot of surgeons,” Richard muttered in apology to him.

“Can she breathe on her own?” Link choked, looking at Teddy, who shifted on her feet.

“She’s weak. I’d like to keep the tube in for a couple of hours at least. See how she does. I’d also like to get neuro down here to give her a check. Let’s get her up to the ICU for now and monitor her closely. She’s stable. Let’s focus on that for now.” Link nodded, not knowing what else to say as Teddy pulled off her gown and tossed it into the bin before practically staggering out of the stuffy room.

“I didn’t know.” Something about the way Richard was looking his way was causing a buildup of defensiveness inside him.

“How?” Richard shook his head with disappointment, massaging his throbbing temple and trying to block out the emphysematous but rhythmic breath sounds coming from the breathing tube. “How, did you just not know?” His colleague was radiating judgment and Richard’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits before his entire body slumped, in no effort to lecture Link about something he should be hearing from Amelia. He looked at his friend, without a trace of condemnation, knowing, so easily, that it could be him in that hospital bed and her where he was standing. “It’s not my place,” he finally stated, tearing his eyes away from Amelia and blinking away any buildup in his tear ducts. He turned to the nurse and thanked her, always polite. “When you take her up can you make it discreet?” He knew the woman had recognized Amelia immediately. “Her reputation is on the line.” The nurse nodded as if she understood. Richard thanked her again before exiting the room.

Richard had ended up telling Meredith, who stopped by to let Link know that she and Hayes would pick up Scout from daycare and take him home with them. Link couldn’t read her expression, it was clouded as if she was undergoing an internal conflict that caused her to wince and look away upon glancing at Amelia. Some of the colour had returned to her cheeks, they looked as if someone had applied too much blush to a pale complexion and were hot to the touch. Teddy had removed the breathing tube about an hour ago. She’d gasped at first, her lungs whistling and wheezing in protest. Enough to make Teddy almost contemplate putting it back in before the breathing had settled.

“You didn’t look for her,” Meredith blurted out, as if she’d been trying to keep the words at bay. The look on her face told him that she regretted saying it almost immediately.

“Neither did you,” he bit back, more aggressively than he would’ve liked. Meredith’s face snapped away from him so quickly it was as if he’d physically hit her.

“If you really loved her. Enough to marry her. Her response shouldn’t have mattered,” her voice was as sharp as a knife. “She loves you and she’s been unfortunate enough to have most of the people she’s loved taken away from her. Do you know how rare it is for Amelia to come to Maggie and I teary eyed because she finally feels safe and loved and not being pressured into anything by the person she loves? " Meredith took a step back as if she didn't want to continue but couldn't help herself. "Amelia is a runner. She breaks under the expectations that the people that she loves have of her and she functions under the fear that the people she loves are going to leave her or die. So if you want to be an ass and make her feel like she isn’t enough for you because she doesn’t feel the need to commemorate her love to you on a stupid peice of paper, I will remove you from my sister’s life.” She was gone before he could even think of a reply and he stared wordlessly at the spot she’d just vacated.

“No,” the voice was so soft he could barely hear it. His head whipped to where she was lying. “No, no, no, no.” Amelia’s eyes were wide and she recoiled as he reached out to touch her. Her heart monitor climbed and he pulled back his hand. She was looking at him in a way that made his skin crawl. He realized, then, that she was looking at him in fear. She looked scared. It shocked him how quickly everything had fallen apart. How quickly he’d gone from someone she’d loved to someone she felt as though she barely knew. But it wasn’t really that quickly, a part of him was whispering over his shoulder. You just didn’t want to accept it.

“Hey.” The words sounded stupid as soon as they left his mouth. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He found himself wondering what had happened to her over the last couple of days, the bruises scattered along her arms had become more evident as colour had returned to her skin. She gagged suddenly, moaning in a way that made him sick and he slid a kidney dish under her just in time. There didn’t seem to be much in her stomach so it was mostly dry heaving. Her heart monitor climbed every time he tried to touch her and he gave up on trying to hold back her hair.

“She’s awake?” Teddy stood in the doorway. Amelia looked up at her blankly before laying her head back against the hospital bed and staring up at the ceiling. The shame in her eyes were evident. Link nodded to Teddy, who gave him a somewhat genuine smile. “I’ll just do a quick vitals check.”

“No,” Amelia moaned, the pain in her voice causing Teddy to stop in her tracks. “I just want to go home. Let me go home.”

“You’re not going to go home though, are you?” Link glanced up to find Richard standing at the foot of the hospital bed, arms crossed. His stern expression was slightly wavering. Link wondered how hard it was for him to even be within two meters of her.

“Shut the fuck up,” Amelia spat, pulling her IV out of her wrist and throwing it across the room hard enough that the machine screeched against the concrete floor. Link grimaced as the IV site began to bleed. The sudden bout of energy seemed to exhaust her as she collapsed back onto the bed.

“We’re good for now, Doctor Altman,” Richard said softly, not wanting to watch as his coworker, and friend, incriminated herself in front of someone she’d regret. “You can go home with Maggie or I can check you into a rehab clinic, the choice is yours.” Link’s eyes fell to the floor, his face burning at the idea that he couldn’t be trusted to take care of her.

“Maggie’s on her honeymoon,” Amelia mumbled, the anger dying out in her eyes as she realized what his response would be before he even spoke it.

“I called her,” Richard confirmed her prediction. “Meredith is taking care of Scout and I shouldn’t even be in the same room as you.” Hot tears spilled down Amelia’s cheeks as she glared at him. You ruin everything. The voice in her head had been telling her over and over since she’d woken up.

“Rehab. I choose rehab. Call her and tell her not to come.” Maggie had arrived at the hospital an hour ago but Link decided to keep his mouth shut.

“Fine,” Richard sighed. “I’ll call right now.” He stepped outside where his daughter was waiting anxiously and placed both hands on her shoulders trying to calm her down.

“I need to go in and see her,” Maggie’s breathing was asynchronous, she held her shaky hands into her chest, trying to look into her sister’s hospital room.

“Don’t,” Richard warned. “She’s not herself right now. I shouldn’t have called and stressed you out. She chose rehab.” He watched as her face twisted in confusion.

“What? That’s ridiculous.” Maggie shook her head in disbelief. “Let me take her home.”

“I wasn’t expecting her to be this bad. It’s too much responsibility to put on anyone. I...I just don’t think it would be a good idea, Maggie.” He pulled her into a hug as she started to sob.

“Link, is he…” she trailed off as she buried her face into her biological father’s scrub top.

“It’s not anyone’s fault,” Richard sighed. “But out of everyone, he’s the last person that should be taking care of her right now.” Maggie nodded, cursing herself for not doing more as she had watched Amelia change over the last couple of months. “Has she mentioned anything about her friend Charlotte? She needs an ally, someone who understands how her brain works. I know how much you care about her, Maggie, but you can’t help her the way she really needs in a couple of days when the realization of what she’s done has hit.”

“Charlotte, the one in L.A.? I’ve talked to her a couple times, never really for too long, just over FaceTime when Amelia used to call her while living at Meredith’s.”

“Amelia brought her up a lot at meetings,” Richard bit the inside of his lip, hoping that he was making the right decision. “I think we need to call Charlotte. I think that she knows Amelia on a level that not any of us in Seattle can really understand.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, pushing her own feelings aside. “Get St. Ambrose Hospital in Los Angeles on the phone,” she loudly ordered to the intern, sitting at the nurses station, who had been just out of earshot, “And tell them I need to speak to Doctor Charlotte King.”

#amelia shepherd #amelink #amelink fanfiction #ameliashepherd #amelinkfanfiction #atticus lincoln #atticus link #greysanatomy #atticuslincoln

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fanboysfangirl · 3 years

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She’s Gone- Danny Williams

summary- reader is danny's wife and steve's sister. she's a member of five o but she was recently deployed. danny and steve get some bad news. her and danny have a two year old son named matt together. The first part is based in season 3, the second part is based in season 6.

(Danny's Pov) "Hey, where's Steve?" Kono asked walking into my office. "He's in his office, why?" "Two letters from the Navy. One for you, and one for Steve." I gave Kono a confused look but I followed her to Steve's office. Kono handed me the letter and I read it aloud. "It is with deep honors and condolences that we write to inform you that y/n Williams's helicopter was shot down, and nobody was found alive. Agent Williams has been declared missing and presumed dead." "Shes gone?" I asked with tears welling up in my eyes. "No she's not gone! She's not dead until they find her body!" Steve said getting up. "Steve where are you possibly going!" I asked walking after him. "To make some phone calls." — I sat in my office staring at the photo of y/n, Grace, Matt, Charlie, and I on our wedding day. Matt was only 1 in this photo but he still looked just like her. "Danny!" "What do you want now Steve?" "She's not dead." "Yeah she is Steve! Look I know it hurts but she's gone! Face that!" "Danny, I know how the Navy works! Most of the time when they say someone's missing it doesn't mean they're dead!" "Yeah, and who's gonna survive a helicopter being shot down? Nobody. I get it she's your sister. It's hard believe me I would know!" "Danny I'm not believing that she's dead until I see her body in a casket." — (3 years later; Steve's Pov) I was on the way back to my house when I got a call from Catherine. "Hey Catherine what's up?" "Steve where are you?" "I'm in my car going home, why?" "I'm gonna send you and address to a hotel. Get here as soon as possible." "Why is everything okay? Catherine!" I took the phone away from my ear to see that she hung up. I checked the address she sent me and did a u-turn on the highway quickly turning my sirens on. - It took me ten minutes to get to the hotel. "Hi how can I help you?" The clerk asked. "Is there a Catherine Rollins here?" "Yeah. Shes on floor 4, room 483." "Thank you." I ran up the stairs since they would be faster than the elevator and quickly made it to room 483. I went to knock but I realized that the door was open so I pulled my gun out and walked in. "Catherine!" "In the bathroom!" I put my gun in my holster and walked into the bedroom to see Catherine. I also saw y/n. She was bloody and bruised but she was alive. "Y/n?" "Steve?" She asked in a faint voice. "Catherine what happened to her?" "I'll tell you in the car but we need to get her to the hospital now!" "I said no hospitals." "Your losing too much blood your already starting to pass out. Keep your eyes open!" Katherine said to her but her eyes fluttered closed. "Come on Steve, help me get her out of the tub." He nodded and grabbed her and carried her out bridal style. "I'll call an ambulance." "Now that will take too long. Let's take her in my truck." Catherine nodded and we made our way out to the truck. Catherine got in the backseat with her while I drove. — "Move out of the way!" I yelled carrying her into the hospital. "Commander McGarrett? Is everything okay?" A nurse asked us. "No my sister! She needs a doctor!" "Alright bring her over to that bed right there. I'll get a surgeon quickly but you and your friend need to wait outside. Now." "Come on Steve." Catherine dragged me out into the waiting room. "Listen to me, you need to get your head on right. Call the team, call someone I don't care. You need to calm down." "What happened to her?" "She was taken hostage by the same people who shot down her helicopter. Her captors were being stupid and brought her back to Hawaii hoping that they could get ransom off of the team. Well she escaped, contacted me and I found her and brought her back to the hotel. They held for 3 years she's emotionally and physically scarred." I sighed. "I gotta call Danny." "Steve you know that's not a good idea." "Why not he's here husband." "He might take this very badly Steve, seeing her like that after thinking she was dead for 3 years." "I don't care Catherine. I'm calling him." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Danny. — (Danny's Pov) I felt my phone vibrate so I pulled it out of my pocket. It was Steve. I pressed decline and put my phone away. When it buzzed again with the message "call me ASAP. URGENT." I dialed his number. "I'll be right back Melissa, I have to take this." I walked away from the table just as Steve answered. "What do you want Steve! I was gonna propose to Melissa tonight so unless someone's dying or.." He cut me off. "Y/n's alive." "Steve we've been over this. She's gone!" "Danny I'm serious! I'm here with Catherine and Y/n at the hospital. She's alive." "Alright, I'll be there in ten minutes." I hung up the phone and went over to the table. "Here's money for a taxi and for dinner. I have to go." I placed a 50 on the table and then grabbed my jacket. I got behind the wheel of my camaro and basically broke every traffic law getting to the hospital. When I got into the waiting room, I saw that Kono and Lou were already there. "Where is she!" I said rushing over to Steve. "The doctors had to take her to surgery. Danny she's gonna be fine." I nodded and sat down in the chair. — (Hours later; Your Pov) My eyes fluttered open and I had to adjust to the bright lights. "Wha- Where am I?" "Relax, your safe. Your in a hospital." I looked over to the voice. "Danny?" "I'm here. Your safe." "I'm safe?" "Your safe." He repeated with a smile. I felt relived for the first time in a long time. I was safe.

#danny williams imagines #danny williams #hawaii five 0

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someonewhowannadielol · 4 years

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Blossom fully (deep in my bones)

(Teacher!JK x College student!Reader) PART ONE

Warnings: JK has anger management issues, very slight violence, a lot of fluff, don't get a heart attack.

Genre: Fluff.

Word Count: 10.3k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

I have decided to turn this into a trilogy. This is Part One, enjoy. Let me know if you want to be tagged (you could just comment, or dm me).

Love. Adoration. Lust. For Jeon Jungkook, his entire life, they had been just words, nothing more – after all, these were just concepts made by society, what if people had not known about the concept of love? Would they still try to find it? Would they still be willing to work for it? Then, you came into his life, and gave meaning to those words.

“Welcome to the annual football championship between Seoul Nation University and Sungkyunkwan University 2020,”

“Break his jaw!” Jungkook heard the other team chant, while looking at him. He just scoffed while adjusting his gloves, as if.

“Really? Think you can do it? Go ahead and try,” Jungkook mocked them across the field, his tongue poking against his left cheek.

Jungkook was never set out for failure, it was never allowed in his life – because he knew for a fact that his father would have his throat if he didn’t turn out to be the best of the best.

At age five, he had a strict workout regime and had less than 10 percent body fat, maintained till present date. He had also learnt that he would rather be loved than feared, he hated the look in the eyes of his classmates when he accidentally punched his seatmate, Byung-chul, just because he had taken his red crayon without asking. Now, no one would sit next to him at lunch.

He told himself that he didn’t mind it, but he couldn’t help but cry at night because no one wanted to play on the see-saw with him. He knew if he asked them, they would have no choice other than to say yes, after all, they didn’t want to end up like Byung-chul, hospitalized, with a broken arm. But what’s the use, if they don’t actually want to be with him?

Age seven, he had landed his first punch on his butler when he saw him abuse his dog. He didn’t know what to tell to his therapist, how could he explain that all he saw was red when he saw Yeontan being thrown out of the room? How could he explain that he had no control over his body? He couldn’t control the beast in him that had pounced over the man.

Age ten, he landed his position as quarterback on the national “Under 19,” football team. Soon, he had to drop out – not because he couldn’t play well, hell, he was probably the most talented played that they could’ve scouted. But, because he wouldn’t tolerate any thing that would come in the path of him and his success.

Age fifteen, he had graduated high school, gotten a perfect 1600 in his SAT, and been given a full ride to SNU. Throughout his high school career, despite having narrow minded, shallow and mindless classmates, Jungkook still wishes he made more memories, had photos with friends in his camera roll (rather than just pictures of sunsets and tattoo designs),

Age 20. Present Day, and he had earned the title of Doctor, not that he could actually perform in the surgeries because of his “anger issues”. Currently, he was a Grad student, but also taught the first year Undergrads, just because of his immense knowledge that could be on par with the old, wrinkly professors that had been teaching since 30+ years.

There had never been a championship, never an exam, never a game that Jeon Jungkook hadn’t won. He wasn’t going to lose this one either. The chants from hundreds of people across the campus stadium were deaf on his ears when he heard the other team’s captain call him an asshole.

Everyone knew Jungkook had well, anger management issues. And to say they were bad was, well, an understatement. So far, the only thing he’s learnt from 14 years of anger management classes, movies, documentaries and seminars is that – only attack when they punch you enough to make you bleed.

“Jeon! Look out!”

Without a warning, the other team’s captain had punched him in the face, hard enough to bust his lip.

Jungkook just sighed, shook his head as if he were disappointed (He was, in fact disappointed, did this dumbass not known what he could do to him?), and calmly just brushed his white glove against his lip, internally wishing he could see his red blood smeared across it.

And there it was, a streak of blood. Then, Jungkook punched him back – not stopping until his face was almost disfigured – suits him for even trying to mess with Jeon Jungkook.

Around an hour later, Jungkook already knew he was going to be chewed out by the college dean, so he was already counting down from 100 on his way to seminar room number 3.

“54, 53, 52, 51,” he muttered under his breath, pushing back his – now long (he really ought to cut it now, it was starting to get into his eyes) – hair back with his left hand, and entered the room. He could see he interrupted a lecture, and was almost about to head back when-

“Oh! Jeon Jungkook, what a pleasure!” he heard the college dean speak in his pretentious, and extremely conceited voice, here we go again.

“Everyone! Welcome Doctor Jeon Jungkook, he’s one of our in-house surgeons. Topper of the college, topper of the board, topper of the university. In fact, he’s of the one of the best – if not the best student SNU has ever got the chance to teach. He’s got the most impeccable academic record, of all time, now going to teach biochemistry to first year undergraduates this year,” Jungkook scoffed when he heard the entire class clap their hands at his arrival, after the Dean’s speech that complimented him, but he knew better, he kne-

“But what’s the use of all that? In anger management, he scores a zero. He’s a classic example for all of you, if you can’t hold your anger in, you’re nothing more than a murderer with surgical instruments in an emergency ward. Without compassion, your degree is of no use to me. Even a low score is acceptable to me, but not that behaviour,”

Was he trying to rile Jungkook up on purpose?

“Please continue, sir, I really loved the analysis you’ve done on me, please do continue,” The words flew out of Jungkook’s mouth as he made his way up the stairs to the stage where the dean stood.

“What behaviour is this? I need you to write an apology letter to Sungkyunkwan University, and to the college board as well,”

It was clear the dean was about to get off the stage, before well, Jungkook spoke again. The dean didn’t really think he was getting off this easily, did he?

“Football is a violent sport, the minute they entered our territory, and tried to abuse the rules, that’s the minute everything and anything is allowed. As far as the apology goes, I’d rather quit the college than write that bullshit,”

The seminar room was so quite that a pin dropped would shatter the silence. Jungkook smirked before he exited, “I won’t lose anything by leaving SNU, any other medical program in the world will be ready to accept me, the only reason I stay in this hellhole is because I enjoy the spring in Seoul. But imagine the loss of pride that SNU will experience once Jeon Jungkook leaves the establishment,”

Jungkook walked across the campus cafeteria as he tried to find his lighter in his pocket, fiddling with his cigarette in his other hand. “Are you seriously going to leave?” Jimin runned after him, struggling with his lab coat, “what will you get out of this? Just write the goddamn apology,”

Jungkook decided to settle on a table where three rowdy boys sat, flexing their muscles, but as they saw Jungkook approaching, they simply muttered apologies before scattering away, leaving the table.

Jimin-ah,” Jungkook smiled as he puffed his cigarette, “there’s nothing for me here, besides, I was planning to move to the US, anyways,”

“And leave me and Tae here? Wow, you’re such a considerate friend, you know,” Jungkook saw Jimin pout, and smiled.

It was really a miracle that he made his first two friends ever while his second year, here at SNU. Jimin loved pets, and was practicing to become a vet, while Taehyung was – kind of – crazy, and even scared Jungkook the first time he met him. He’s pretty sure Tae would’ve set the lab on fire if Jungkook hadn’t studied chemical properties before his class. At first, he hated it when both of them would tag along, following him to lunch, inviting themselves into his mansion, and forcing him to go to the arcade with them – but soon, he had learned to love being around them.

While looking around for Tae, so he could finally break the news of him leaving, his eyes landed on your figure. Now, Jungkook had never believed in love at first sight. Hell, he didn’t even believe in love, so, love at first sight seemed a little – well, impossible. But here you were, the reason why Jungkook felt like his heart was going to come out of his ribcage, it felt as if Jungkook had been struck by cupid, because the way you looked so adorable in your pink dress had left Jungkook feeling giddy. Seoul had a lot of pretty girls, he saw them every day, some of them even deserved to be on the cover of Vogue – but you, you were different, Something about you, your vibe, your pink cheeks and eyes that curled up when you smiled, something about you was difference.

Jungkook looked down at his letter of quitting, and simply tore it down when saw your figure leave the cafeteria.

“I can’t believe this, you see one of the first years, and suddenly, you want to stay?” Jimin shouts and slams his fat book on the table, muttering curse words.

Intimidating the first years – ragging, as they called it – had always been Jungkook’s favourite thing to do. Every year he’d either make them do ridiculous tasks, like eating a living goldfish, or running around the block naked. However, this time, it was different.

He made sure he entered the class taught by the foreign professor, so he could sneak in a couple of threats without making too much of a scene in front of the directors. As he excused himself in the full class, he couldn’t help but be glad that he looked quite… intimidating today. Everyone was already, well, scared of him, but his leather jacket, motorbike, and bandages on his fingers (which are actually there because he hurt his fingers by writing too much – not from the constant fights that people think he’s immersed into), they just add to his picture.

“There’s a medical camp soon for freshmen, so I would like to make an announcement,” Jungkook smiles, but everyone can sense the chilly aura underneath that smile, “I would also like to speak in Korean, since they’re mostly fluent in it,”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon, you may continue,” the British Professor smiles back – she can’t deny him, he’s her co-worker now, after all.

“Listen to me carefully,” Jungkook lets his tongue poke his inner cheek, as he brushes back his – way too long – hair, “I’m not going to repeat this in English, and that dumbass shouldn’t get a clue of what I’m saying,” he says as he nods politely at the professor on the slightly lifted stage. Once he confirms that she can’t understand a word, he turns her back towards her, and walks across the class, staring at everyone with a predatory look in his dark eyes.

“There’s a new girl, freshman, she’s mine. Other than her, you can woo any girl you like, but if I even so catch anyone staring at her, let alone trying to get on those cute study dates, or pretending to be in the same hobbies as her,” he looks across the stadium, “you’ll end up in bandages. With a failing grade in my class.”

Jungkook can’t help but present a fake smile, “don’t look so scared, idiots, you don’t want her,” he nods off to the professor, “to think I’m saying something wrong,”

“Why does it sound like a threat?” A nameless teenager from the back speaks up, which makes Jungkook’s smile slide off faster than sound travels.

“I’m not threatening you. I’m warning you. Besides, don’t even try to outsmart me, don’t worry new girls come in every year, you’ll have your chances. Now don’t sulk, or look suspicious. Circulate this message around, I don’t have enough time to go to every single unit,” he scans everyone’s face again, making sure they digested his new given information.

Once he’s satisfied, he convert back to English, “Good luck with the camp, guys. Meet you in my class tomorrow,” and with one last threatening smile, he’s gone.

“What did he say? Why did it sound like a threat?” the teacher joked once Jungkook left, and the class couldn’t help but immediately deny the threatening tone. After all, no one wanted to face Jeon Jungkook’s wrath.

Your nervous jitters were still present, and you don’t want to admit, but you did tear up a little when you saw your parent’s car become smaller and smaller as it continued to drive down the road, till it finally is so far that you can’t even make it out with your eyes.

While most people had roommates of their own year, you were stuck with a sophomore and you didn’t exactly know whether that was a good thing, or a bad one. She had made very clear about what side of room was hers, and why it was hers, and how you’re not even allowed to get onto her side – and that did make you a little annoyed, because how could someone be so pretentious, but throughout the span of three days, the pretentious-ness was definitely wearing out. She’d cook dinner for you every day, because you didn’t have a rice cooker and she did (which, you really needed to invest in a rice cooker because you can pretty much cook anything in that fucker), and she was amazing at giving advice for every single teacher out there. You still had to get used to her high use of curse words, but it’s just what made her, her.

“Oh damn, you got the worst professors out there, bro you better goddamn pull your socks up, otherwise things aren’t gonna look pretty this semester,” you heard her chuckle, as she sits on her bed with one leg on top of the other.

“Why? Who’s so bad?”

Fucking hell. You already had had enough of bad teachers, it’s almost like you were cursed because your high school teachers were literally out to get you – but you guess it was a blessing in disguise because that just made you work even harder (just to spite them, hah), and you somehow ended up here, at SNU, one of the most prestigious colleges in Korea.

“It’s actually not all that bad, you got Mr. Lee for microbiology. He isn’t all that bad, but just don’t sit in the front row unless you want spit on your face every time he talks. I swear it’s like he had a motherfucking fountain in his mouth. Also, he loves it when you submit your papers with a perfect format, so do that whenever you give his weekly assignments,” She says, all while applying on a red blood coloured nail polish.

You study your schedule once again, “What about Mr. Kang?”

“No fucking absolute way! You got Mr. Kang? Bitch, seems like the universe is tryna fuck you over,” she says, and then mumbles a curse when some of the rid pigment ends up on her skin.

“Is he bad? Strict?” you can’t help but already be scared of the semester, and it hasn’t even started yet.

“He’s the most pretentious fucker you’ll ever meet, he just thinks he’s the best professor because he graduated from Oxford. Big woo, motherfucker. Half of his class fails pretty much, the only two people to walk out of his class with an A* grade were this kid named Baek-woo or something, and of course, Jeon Jungkook,”

Jeon Jungkook. You swear you’ve seen that name before. Oh wait, ohhh, he was your biochemistry professor.

“Jeon Jungkook? He’s also a professor?” you look at your perfectly squared schedule, and you have his classes thrice a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

“You got him?”

“Yeah,”

“Don’t know if I should call you lucky or not, because I have no clue what he teaches like. All I know is he’s fucking crazy good at everything, and that he’s super-hot. Not that he’s really interested in any girls, also I personally think he’s mental or something,” your roommate had finally finished painting her feet, and was now letting them sway in the air, and dry.

She spent the next hour talking about Jungko- Professor Jeon was basically a murder, a thug, a gang member or whatever even. You just laughed at the thought of it all.

First day, and you’re more nervous than you intended to be. It wasn’t going well, at all. You had decided to look chic today, with your new (way too expensive) designer blazer, and your nude high heels, but here you were, sitting in the fourth row, wearing a red polka dress that made you look like a freshman. A high school freshman, not a college freshman.

You cursed yourself for buying a fake version of the nude heels (also, you could feel a tear forming in your eyes when you saw the heel broken, when you finally unpacked your belongings, but you sucked it right back in), you also wished your roommate was dead, because now you were sitting on your bed with a coffee stain on your blazer (no amounts of sorry could fix this disaster).

Also, you couldn’t help but notice an ungodly amount of stares thrown at you – not from hate, but just from sheer curiosity, and you were just so self-conscious because of it all, that you slipped from the last few stairs down the hostel causing your bare knees to get the nastiest scrape. Fuck, that’s going to hurt.

So when you finally settled in your Biochemistry class, you couldn’t help but well, be scared. There were rumours of Jeon Jungkook, your new teacher to be. Rumours that he used to be in a gang and dealt with drugs, and underground fights. There was a rumour that he once put a room to fire, killing almost 50 people. Also, that one time when he came to school with bandages on his hands – probably because he punched people to death, or hospitalizing them. There are rumours about him running over people on his motorcycle as well, and you can’t help but be extra conscious about this class, in fact you wouldn’t even have opt for it in the first place if you knew that Jeon Jungkook was the one teaching it. But, even since you’ve transferred, you’ve just told yourself that these were just rumours, and not everything is the truth.

Till now. He entered the class, probably not following the teacher’s dress code – you were pretty positive that leather jackets and ripped jeans weren’t exactly allowed, but he just looked so hot good, that you could let it slide. His stare lingered on you for quite a while, and you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat, avoiding eye contact.

“You, in the fourth row,”

You could see him pointing at you, but you just internally wished that it wasn’t actually, well you, that he was calling. Looking around, you see several other people in your row, maybe he was pointing towards the girl on your left that looked way more presentable than you. Or maybe it was the boy on your left with glasses way too big for his face.

“You, in the red polka dot dress, come here,” Professor Jeon looked at you, and smiled? Why would he smile when he looked at you?

(You also quickly dismissed the thought that he has the cutest bunny smile you’ve ever seen, where his eyes crinkle slightly, and his cheeks bunch up – because that’s just inappropriate, even though the age gap isn’t that big.)

He quickly examines your knees, and you swear you see a flash of surprise (and worry?), and before you can register what is going on, he kneels down in front of you, and clicks his tongue, as if wanting to scold you.

“Sit here, in the front row where I can see you,” he says, after a few seconds of inspecting your new injury, and as you adjust yourself, you can’t help but be uncomfortable from the gazes of your classmates that disappear as soon as Professor Jeon starts teaching. Getting into SNU was a nightmare, and you weren’t going to let yourself fail any classes, but instead of listening to what Jungkook was teaching – which but the way, he taught way better than any of the other staff there. But his stare. His stare was terrifying.

His aura was definitely dangerous, and red sirens were bursting in your head, telling you to keep your distance from him. His deathly stare seemed anything but inviting, and when the boy to your right asked you about the syllabus, you couldn’t help but shiver under Jungkook’s Professor Jeon’s glare. He spent the next ten minutes shouting at the poor boy, who looked as if he was about to faint any second now. Scary.

Ever since, you’ve been avoiding any contact with him, even purposely ignoring him when he asked you what happened to your knee. (You tell yourself that his sad puppy face doesn’t bother you but in reality, it breaks your heart, and every time you try to sleep, it haunts you. (You then remind yourself about the numerous rumours he’s into, and the last thing you want to get in between is drama and romance)).

The first time Jungkook heard your name was through Taehyung (no, he wasn’t jealous that Tae knew your name before him, but he couldn’t help but want to reverse back time, just so he could learn your name before Taehyung did. Why did Tae know your name before he did?), and your name was on his tongue the entire day. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, all he could think about was how your hair would feel when he would brush his fingers through it, how your hand would fit into his, how you would look in his oversized t-shirts. (Occasionally, he would also think how you would look, laying on his bed, underneath him – but the sheer thought of it gets him hot and bothered and what not, and he doesn't have the time to be fooling around, that too, with a student).

So when he saw you sitting with one hand on top of the other, in his class, he couldn’t help the smile when his eyes landed on you, you just looked so, so adorable in your little dress. The thought of you being away from him, just killed him inside so he had to ask you to sit in the front row, where he could look at you as much as he wants to, all while teaching his class. Of course, he saw red in his eyes when he saw your knees tainted with blood, and all he wanted was to wrap a bandage on it, he couldn’t bear to look at you, sitting in pain – but for once in his life, he was considerate and thought that you might not want the uninvited attention.

That consideration came to bite him in the ass, because you left before you could hear him, and as he saw you blend into the crowd, he couldn’t help but curse under his breath and want to punch the next person he sees.

There’s a lot that Jungkook changes throughout the first week of classes, he attaches a second seat to the end of his motorbike (because when you both start dating, he’ll have to take you around), and even cuts his long hair – in case you don’t like it, it could grow back anyways. He always has a packet of your favourite chocolate in the left pocket of his bag (no, he didn’t threaten the guy at the nearest 7/11 to tell him the candy you’ve been buying lately (he also denies the fact that he bought three plushies for you, that are currently sitting on his side table (the white rabbit with red cheeks reminds him a lot of you))). He can’t, but he tries to smoke way less, tries to buy less cigarettes, tries to chew gum instead, or drink more water. And he would never admit it, but he took a photo of your student profile, and set it as his wallpaper. Jimin and Taehyung exchange a couple of looks after discovering this fact, but don't say anything about it - none of their business, right?

Being an undergrad professor also has it’s perks, he can look at all your records, and well, currently, you’re failing Mr. Kang’s class – anatomy 101. Finally, a fucking excuse to talk to you, because the way you basically run after his class ends makes him think you’re avoiding him? But you wouldn’t do that to him… right?

Because of you, Jungkook has been rocking some Massive dark circles (with a capital M, because boy, they are blue and way too dark in comparison to his actual skin tone), the only reason being your existence and all he does is Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, while tossing in his bed at 3AM, thinking of how you smiled when he tried to crack a joke in the class, thinking of your pushing his fingers through your hair, thinking of how you fumbled with your thumbs before mumbling your answer to his sudden question.

“So, Y/N, what do you think out of all these,” he motions towards the options, “does not act as a restriction enzyme?”

He just wanted to coo over how your thumbs fought with each other, as you tried (key word, tried), to answer his really easy question. (It actually wasn’t even that easy, you were just too scared to get anything below a B in Professor Jeon’s class, so you ended up studying two chapters ahead of your syllabus – despite his fast pace). So, you knew the answer was Polydeoxtribonucleotide synthase, but for the love of god, you just couldn’t pronounce that word.

“It’s, uh, polydetr-,” you swear your breath was knocked out when he started walking towards you, oh God, why was he walking towards you?

“Yes, continue,” he smiles while standing, literally right in front of you. How does he expect you to answer when he’s looking at you as if you have all the answers of the universe. As if you were, I don’t know, Aphrodite or something.

“Uh, it’s the option D,”

“And that is?”

That motherfucker. He knew you couldn’t pronounce it.

“Polydo-“ you were positive that at this point you weren’t even breathing.

“Hey, just take a deep breath and try again,” He said, while taking your left hand in his own, and massaged it. You were positive everyone in the lab was looking at you, but their stares didn’t even compare to your hot teacher’s burning gaze.

“Poly-deo-,” you take a breath in,”x-tribo-nucleotide synthase,”

“That’s right, the answer is Polydeoxtribonucleotide synthase,” Jungkook says without having any trouble with the word, and before he gets away from you, he smiles in your direction, and says, “Good girl,”

You’re left to yourself wondering if this is a dream or if that just happened.

Jungkook’s day was going just terrible. His landlord had to be the cheapest bastard he knows, who just wouldn’t fix the water system, so for a week he was basically stuck with showering with ice cold water. On top of that, he was wearing a bruise on the left side of his face, it was all red and blue because last night he was too drunk to notice his book shelf that he installed last week.

He was supposed to be in the cafeteria right now, because at approximately 1:30 PM, your stupid microbiology class ended, and you headed straight to lunch after that, before your anatomy class. It had been, well give or take, around two weeks since the semester started, and he thought he would get over you soon, but you were just so goddamn adorable, and cute, and all Jungkook ever wanted was to squish your cheeks and press your body closer to his.

He finally reached the bustling cafeteria, ugh, he absolutely hated the noise there – so he never really ate there, preferring the quite café around the corner, but he knew you were on some sort of dumb student meal plan that only profits the university, and not actually you.

He’s expecting to find you sitting with your laptop (with a red smiley star sticker on the top right, which is just goddamn adorable (and no, that definitely isn’t the reason why Jungkook too, has a red smiley star sticker on his laptop now)). But you’re there, with some random ugly boy’s arm sprawled over your shoulder, as you giggle repeatedly at his bad jokes.

He sits on the table on your right and loudly slams his old anatomy book, before taking a seat. Here he was, all prepared with notes on what you were failing, all ready to teach you what you didn’t understand, spending all night making flashcards (he also ripped that one flashcard where on one side he wrote, “Will you go out with me?” and the other side blank, so you could write your response. He argues with himself that it wasn’t because he was shy or scared you’d say no – it was because it’s too cheesy).

His blood just boils when he sees you not removing – he finds out the boy’s name is Kim Seokjin – his ugly hand from your own, and just gets up and walks away after you giggle for the nth time on his not even funny jokes.

(Later that night, Jungkook tells himself he’s way better than that Seokjin bastard, even if Seokjin’s skin is flawless, and even if he has a handsome smile, and even if he can cook, and even if he can make you smile. Jungkook couldn’t have flawless hands because of all the callouses he has from writing too much, and his bruises might take a while to heal (he even puts an icepack on them now), and he could learn how to cook something other than instant noodles, and he could learn some jokes from the internet. He could be better than Seokjin, he would be better than anyone for you).

You love the feeling when things go perfect, and today was just so perfect. You fried an egg, all round a perfect circle and the yolk didn’t even break – which it always does when you flip it. Then, you sharpened a pencil and somehow the nib came out more than perfect, which made you all giggly and what not. Everyone in your friends circle at this point knew that you were the biggest hoe for cute stationery. Then, your anatomy class got cancelled and you were just so happy, and you even made a new friend today, Kim Seokjin.

You were a little uncomfortable when he smoothly glided his right arm over your shoulder, but he was just so funny, and he bought you the special menu items today – so you couldn’t even complain. After all, you really looked at him as a big brother because all he talked about was how his roommate was a complete asshole.

(“I told him to get me some water – which he should, because I’m older than him, and he should totally respect me,” he says, with an exaggerated and exasperated sigh.

“And he did what?”

“He brought a glass full of ice and told me to wait,”)

The one thing that you were, in fact really over thinking was about that one professor of yours. Jeon Jungkook. As you let the water cascade down your body in the tiny (really tiny) cubicle of the washroom that you shared with your roommate, Hye-jin.

“I noticed Kook looking at you in the cafeteria that day, y’know the whole campus is talking about it,”

“Uh, yeah, it’s kind of hard not to notice,”

“I’m guessing you don’t know about the whole speech he gave in that one class at the start of the semester?”

Jungkook doesn’t really believes in love at first sight, but after stalking you on social media, he knew he was a goner for you. (Especially after that one video of yours where you’re trying to pet a dog, but the dog runs away, and you end up pouting at the camera. (Yes, he screen recorded the video and watched it a billion times before sleeping)).

He has never had the urge to protect someone other than himself, and maybe his friends. But you, it was different with you – he doesn’t know if it was the small chub in your cheeks, or the way your ears would turn red when he would ask you something, or the way you would walk, or the way you slapped your thigh when you laughed, or the aroma of your citrus shampoo when you would walk past him, or your habit of getting coming down to the convenience store to grab ramen every Thursday night at 10 PM.

He doesn’t know it, but he knows he’s meant to love you, meant to keep you in his life, meant to be yours, and meant to make you his.

He has endured, yet another week where he hasn’t talked to you – and not gonna lie, it’s actually driving him crazy. Every day he sees you talking to Seokjin and laughing with others, while he sits and does nothing other than gawk at you.

During class, while he did occasionally glance your way, he still has 73 students to teach, and this being his first year as a teacher, he can’t afford any sort of mishaps at all.

But every man on this Earth has their limits. And Jungkook’s limit was watching Seokjin kiss your cheek. While you did (playfully) punch him on the shoulder, and you did shout out ‘Gross!’, Jungkook was sure that you definitely didn’t mean that punch, and you definitely didn’t think he was gross.

Did you think that Jungkook was gross? Why didn’t you ever visit him during office hours? Because every single girl in his class was sure to meet him for some dumb question, or to ask for extra credit. But you didn’t. Did you like Seokjin? Did you like someone else?

The next time he sees you is on Friday, during his class and he just knows, he knows he can’t go through today without talking to you, and the only way to do that is to-

“Y/N, could you stay after class, please?” he says, without even giving you a glance.

You mutter a silent yes, and keep your head down for the rest of the class, trying your best to ignore the mumbles of the class, talking about you and why you get to be treated different from others.

“You wanted to talk to me?” you say as you walk around the long table, running your fingers along the marble shelf.

“Do you wanna go out with me?”

What. What the heck?

You chuckle, thinking it’s some sort of sick prank he’s playing, you wait for him to say ‘Sike!’ but it never comes. Then you think that maybe, just maybe he does actually want to take you out? No. No way, he probably just wants to get alone with you in an alley, where he would kill you – or even worse, sell you off.

“No, thank you. If that’s all, am I allowed to go?” you say all this, in the smallest, most polite voice possible, after all the last thing you wanted was to piss off your professor. (who might be in a gang, who knows at this point?)

“What? Why?” he says, almost panicked, and you hear a shuffle of items as he makes his way to you, trying to watch you before you leave again. He sees your face morphed into an expression of extreme boredom. Fuck, he had to do something, quick.

“Not to be rude, but Professor, I just don’t think it’s right – or even allowed for us to date,” you say, trying your best not to look at him, shuffling your bag on your shoulder, because fuck, he looked so sad – his eyes almost looked glassy, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“You don’t have to date Professor Jeon, you can just date me as the graduate student here. I’m, still a student here, Y/N,”

“And? You’re also like four years older than me,”

“Three years,” he says, pouting. Ugh, he’s so cute.

“That doesn’t make it any better,”

“It doesn’t?” he sighs.

“No, I’m still your student, and you’re still my teacher,”

“Tell me, Y/N, did you take chemistry in high school?” he asks, while quickly walking to the back and mixing some chemicals that he definitely wasn’t supposed to touch without gloves on.

“Yes, why?”

“Well, I’m currently holding, uh it’s either Acetonitrile or Iodine mixed with Vitamin C,” he says, and you can see both the liquids, which he mixes together without a worry in the world.

“And? Professor Jeon, what are you going to do?” you walk over to him, slower than ever, taking one step at a time.

‘Please, call me Jungkook. Or Kook, if you feel like it,” he gives you one of his signature smiles, that you should be used to by now – but you just get flustered every time.

“Now, will you go out with me?” he asks again, this time in a much more hopeful tone.

“No,” you say, drawing out the ‘o’, when will get the clue?

“Fine, I guess I’ll just drink this,” he looks at the two glass beakers in his hands, and pours the both of them into a much bigger glass container, “and die,”

You scoff, thinking he’s bluffing, “Yeah, yeah, go on,”

Of course, he’s bluffing because there is no absolute way that he’ll be mad enough to drink goddamn Acetonitrile, unless he wants his cardiovascular system, central nervous system, liver and kidneys to, I don’t know, stop working.

“I’ll ask this again, Y/N, just one date, will you go out with me?” he says, while picking up the glass container, closer to his face, and you actually want to play this game till the end. No way is he going to drink this.

“No,”

“Okay then,” he puts his lips on the container, and by now, you’ve actually started to get a bit scared. What if he does it? What if this crazy idiot actually drinks the fatal formula?

And then it happens. He drinks it. He fucking drinks it.

“What the fuck? Jungkook!”

“I’ll ask you again, will you go out with me?” he says after taking the biggest gulp ever. Is this his way of attempting suicide?

“Yes! Yes, oh god, I’ll go out with you!”

“Don’t say it like you’re doing me a favour,” he says, attempting to take another sip of the deadly liquid.

“No! I- Can you stop doing that? Stop drinking it! I’ll go out with you. In fact, I want to go out with you! Really!” you shout, trying to take the container away from him, scared shitless.

“Fuck, do I call 911?” you say, as you attempt to take your phone out of your 110 pound heavy bag. Then you hear him chuckle and throw away the remaining odourless, colourless solution.

“Relax, it was just water, I was just trying to scare you, but hey! You’ve agreed to a date with me, so it’s a win-win isn’t it?” Jungkook smiles sloppily, perching his elbow up on the table and letting his chin rest in his palm.

You can’t believe him. You really can’t.

You pretend to pick something up from the floor, “Professor, it seems you dropped something on the floor,”

“What?” he tries to look at your hand, to see what’s there, and just as you get his attention, you smack him across the face.

“Your common sense, you moron! What the hell were you thinking? Even if that was water, this could have traces of some really harmful chemicals and you ought to know better because you’re a goddamn teacher how could you be so careless you could have actually died-”

“But I didn’t, and now you’re going out with me,”

You can’t help the smile that creeps on your face, as your eyes glass up. You really had thought that he was going to die, or at the very least – harm himself severely.

“You’re so dumb, Jeon,” you say as you punch him, trying to suck your tears right back in – but they weren’t co-operating at all, and you let them fall down across your cheeks, causing Jungkook’s, breath to hitch up as soon as he sees them.

“Wait, wait, wait, are you crying? No, please don’t cry! Oh no, oh, I didn’t mean to… I was trying to make you laugh…” Jungkook says as his heart runs at 850 BMP a minute, trying to caress your face, trying to stop the tears from filling your eyes.

“What kind of sick-o would laugh at their professor dying? Are you mental?” you choke out, while trying your god-darn best to stop crying, because he was very much alive and right in front of you.

“I’m sorry, oh god, what should I do? What do girls like?” Jungkook was absolutely mortified. The first time he has ever talked to you – and he manages to make you cry. He totally royally fucked up. Big time.

He almost googled, ‘how to stop girl from crying’ and reading the wiki-how page, but decided against it, and hugged you – because that’s what his therapist told him to do when he hurts his loved ones. He would never – it wasn’t in him to physically ever hurt you. He couldn’t even bear the thought of that ever, and so when he did hug you, your sobbing decreased by a lot, and he felt much much better. Also, after holding you in his embrace, he realized how much he needed you to be next to him – to say Jungkook was touch starved is an extreme understatement, he loved the way he could you fit under him, the way your hair had a citrusy aroma, the way your arms hugged him back, it was comfortable. And Jungkook was positive that he could stay like this forever – if needed to.

You didn’t realize when he hugged you, but when he did, you were finally over the shock of thinking your crazy, dumb and hot professor had actually had some water instead of some deadly chemicals – and you weren’t the cause of his death. You wanted to hate him, but how could you? How could you just judge him upon some rumours that were just there to fit in the pieces of his live that he wouldn’t let other people know?

“I- I have a faculty meeting in five minutes,” you hear him speak, the vibration passing through his body – shaking you with it.

You clear your throat before letting go, and can’t help but feel the embarrassment rise out of you, in the form of red cheeks. You keep your head down, as he walks out the door of the lab, leaving you behind – but right before he leaves, he reminds you of your current situation, “Can’t wait for our date, sweets!”

Asshole.

From Unknown Number

[1:38 AM]

Y/N-ieeee

r u sleeping

this is kook btw

To Prof JK

[1:40 AM]

how did u get my num??????

also do u not THINK before assigning all this hw :(

From Prof JK

[1:41 AM]

u should be sleeping rn bby

all i assigned was some reading???? and some worksheets????

is it too much????

im so sry

To Prof JK

[1:50 AM]

well i do have a life outside of hw yknow

also im a huge procrastinator lmao

From Prof JK

[1:51 AM]

:( why r u taking so long to reply

r u busy

r u sleepy

also what life???? i’ve only ever seen u either at the library or the internet café down the street

whats my name saved in ur conatcts ;)))))

i saved urs as princess <3

To Prof JK

[1:54 AM]

it’s prof jk

From Prof JK

[1:55 AM]

thats boring :( im ur future bf now

also wanted to remind u the date is tomo so be ready

You don’t think before you change his name to Kook ‘Jungkook’.

To Jungkook

[1:57 AM]

oh yea how could i forget the fact that u tried to fake poison urself

also what?? date???

From Jungkook

[1:58 AM]

first of all, im so sry abt that i’ll buy u ur fav chocos

second of all, BRO

U LITERALLY SWORE U WOULD GO ON A DATE WIT ME

U PROMISED ME

To Jungkook

[2:01 AM]

i guess i changed my mind lololol

From Jungkook

[2:02 AM]

y????

look i know its weird some nuts prof asks u to go on a date with him

i know u don’t know me

but i know me

and i know i would do anything 4 u

i’ll be anything u want me to be

i can be smart

i can be funny too

i can try to cook for u maybe???? some pasta???

i could dance 4 u?????

To Jungkook

[2:06 AM]

dance????

no offense prof, but u seem so stiff

no way u can dance

From Jungkook

[2:08 AM]

is that a challenge…???

just tell me what u want and i’ll be that for u

To Jungkook

[2:09 AM]

u r dumb

From Jungkook

[2:10 AM]

i could be that

if u want me to be

come on, just ONE date i promise i’ll leave u alone after that if u don’t like it

To Jungkook

[2:13 AM]

mm… sis i guess u should start to figure something out then

bcz this aint good enough

see ya

From Jungkook

[2:14 AM]

ugh i cant force but :( pls?

istg itll be the best day of ur life

To Jungkook

[2:15 AM]

yea ok whatever u say im not going anywhere with u

night

From Jungkook

[2:16 AM]

goodnight!!!!!!

Don’t think too mucb about me

much*

To Jungkook

[2:18 AM]

In ur dreams

From Jungkook

[2:32 AM]

oh u do come in my dreams ;))

✓ Seen by princess <3

The next couple of days, you get some… gifts from a not so secret admirer. And you definitely didn’t change him name from ‘Prof Jeon’, to ‘Jungkook,’ to ‘Jungkookie <3’ in the span of 11 days. (And you most definitely didn’t feel giddy from inside every time you received a notification that read, ‘One New Message from Jungkookie <3’.

“You’re not very subtle, Professor Jeon,” you stay around after his class, watching him put away his books in is leather back. You can tell he was surprised by your action of staying back, but you had to put a stop to what was happening.

The next morning after he texted you for the first time, you had a Huge – with a capital H – bouquet of red roses, and you’ll admit you teared up a bit after looking at it, after all it was your first time receiving flowers from a boy (or man? (a man that was actual eye candy, but you’ll never admit that)).

Two days later,

From Jungkookie <3

[1:53 AM]

look outside

To Jungkookie <3

[1:54 AM]

dont tell me u r outside dumbass its like 2am

Lo and behold, Jungkook’s standing in the middle of the road, holding a single red rose and smiling. There’s a stark difference between his current self, and his demeanour during class – now the moonlight hits his unmade fluffy hair and cheeks, making him look years younger than he is. You can’t help but shout, ‘You idiot! You’ll catch a cold!’ while probably waking up several angry sleep deprived students in the process, but you can’t help but laugh at the way he dances for you. On this cold, lonely night, he brought you the warmth you didn’t know you needed.

It seemed that after that, Jungkook and you were the talk of the town, people would wait for both of you to get together, place bets on when you would finally say yes to him. On the other hand, you received candies from him, you had access to the teacher’s lounge coffee (which was honestly a huge plus point, now you could save five dollars on watery coffee, and have some actual caffeine), and he had pre-paid the 7/11 dude $500 in cash, so he wouldn’t even accept your payments now. The one thing that you actually appreciated him the most for was that he made you flashcards for Mr. Kang’s class (which you were failing, real bad), and while it wasn’t much, you still bumped you ‘F’ to a ‘D’, that just remained the highlight of your goddamn month.

To Jungkookie <3

[2:08 PM]

JUST GOT MY TEST BACK AND GUESS WHAT BITCH

From Jungkookie <3

[2:09 PM]

hi baby girl

:( i’ve noticed u r cursing a lot nowadays

To Jungkookie <3

[2:11 PM]

i’ve noticed u calling me baby lately but u don't see me whining so stfu

ALSO I DIDN’T FAIL

i mean i still kinda failed but it’s not a F

From Jungkookie <3

[2:13 PM]

im so proud of u, u r so so so smart

:( i wonder if u would let me teach u maybe???? tutor u???

✓ Seen 2:15 PM by princess <3

One of his much, much grander displays of affections was, well, kind of weird, he bought you a penguin. You were a proud, and extremely happy mother of a cute penguin named Otis.

From Jungkook <3

[9:07 AM]

ok but what would u want as a pet

To Jungkook <3

[10:38 AM]

penguin!!!!

You knew it must’ve cost him a fortune, and his job as a professor must not be enough, but you had always dreamed of being able to hold the certificate of your baby, and be able to monitor it, and be able to be the one to feed it (well, not literally). And he had to pay for his own grad school fees, which must be a total nightmare on its own – here you were, in his class, waiting for him to pack up so you could maybe pay him back a little?

By no means could you afford a $3000 penguin, but you could maybe ask him if there’s something you could do?

“So, Prof, how would you like me to re-pay you?” you honestly half expected a sex joke on his part – maybe because he looks like a fuckboy on steroids and snorts a lot of protein powder before hitting the gym.

“Um, maybe a hug?”

Oh. Ohhhh. Oh. Unexpected. Okay. Calm yourself down.

“A hug?” you tried not to look at his face, because you knew if you did, it would be hard, way too hard to be able to resist him. You knew he was all dangerous, and bad boy and what not – but, this man, the one with the bunny smile and the fluffy hair, and the one who smelled more like freshly baked bread rather than the axe cologne spray you had imagine, he wasn’t a gang member or a delinquent. He was simply asking for love.

“Why a hug?”

“Just… never really hugged anyone properly,” Jungkook knew he wasn’t asking for much. He could’ve asked for a date, or a kiss, or just anything, but all he wanted was to hold you.

It had been a hard week for him. Being a grad student wasn’t easy no matter how many hours of study you pull in, and no matter how much knowledge you attained – while he was way better off than his peers – he knew he couldn’t afford the failure – he was just starting to feel less and less like a human, and more like a robot. Also, it wasn’t easy to be an undergraduate professor – in fact, it was fucking hell. Your peers, and the entire fucking batch was just so hopelessly dumb – he doesn’t want to admit but he even cringes at some of the mistakes you made (who mixes up chemicals! They’re the most difficult to mess up!) and he hated it when he would just have to give you a ‘C,’ instead of the ‘A,’ you actually deserved (because you’re so smart and he can see it! But you’re also so stubborn, sigh).

Lately, it seems like without his therapist, life just seemed more difficult. When he looks at the broken pencils, the pieces of wood sitting on his table, the teared up paper, and the headache he was constantly in – he’s taken back to the 12 year old Jungkook who couldn’t control his hands, who did nothing but hurt those around him. He looks at his hands, he hates them, they hurt people without his permission.

Sometimes, he would cry, because why couldn’t he simply control himself? Why did his anger, the red in his eyes, the strength of his arm always win over his subconscious and ability to think correct? Why couldn’t he simply re-do a question he got wrong instead of breaking pencils and tearing up everything apart? Why were there numerous holes in the wall covered by posters? Why did this animalistic rage always win over him? Why him?

Jungkook spends the night dreaming of actually being able to help patients, and operating instead of simply… being useless.

So, in that moment, he just wanted comfort. Simple as that. He doesn’t recall anyone ever hugging him in his life, maybe half sided hugs from coaches and professor, or the ones that Tae forces onto him, but other than that, Jungkook has never had an interest in physical contact with people – always thinking it was way showing vulnerability, but with you, he just wanted to be normal.

He didn’t want you to know him as the weird, crazy idiot with anger management issues, or the druggie who smokes weed 24/7, he just wanted you to know him as the real Jungkook he is. The real Jungkook who has iron man socks, and has a fear of microwaves.

So when you do hug him, and feel his arms by your side, and you can’t help but want to stay this way. Surprisingly, it isn’t you who breaks the hug, and you actually want more of it, more of that soft feel of his black shirt against your cheek, more of his hard arms closing you in, more of his warmth.

You clear your throat, and… you don’t know what to do.

“So, um, thanks y’know f-for Otis. You really didn’t have to, I mean I appreciate it I really do, it was more than anything anyone’s every done for me y’know? So like, um, yeah, I uh-“ you mentally curse yourself, just stop speaking already.

“You named it Otis? That’s such a basic penguin name,” Jungkook chuckles, hoping to make you even slightly mad, and the fact that you looked at him with an expression of shock and anger just added to his satisfaction.

Just like that, the awkward layer in the air no longer lingers, and settles to soft banter, something you enjoyed.

“Excuse me? It’s like, the cutest name ever, and whoever thinks against that is a total meathe-“

“I’ve never seen someone be angry and look adorable at the same time,”

“Well, mama didn’t raise no bitch, I will adorably kick your ass, Jungkook,”

“On a first name basis now? Guess I’m making progress,”

“I hate you so much,”

And now twelve minutes and seventeen seconds later, here you both were, sitting on the bench outside the local 7/11, sharing an egg and ham sandwich.

By no means did Jungkook ever mean to have his first lunch with you like this, he had planned it all out, first date, 100 day anniversary, his first ‘I love you,’ speech, the gift for your birthday in January – he didn’t expect to sit on the side of the road at the old, rusty (and really uncomfortable) bench, eating a one dollar sandwich.

You make fun of Jungkook after his high five got rejected by a passing by 5 year old-ish kid with his mom.

“He hates me,” Jungkook pouts and looks at his left hand with such sorrow and anguish that you can’t help but let the laughter bubbling in your throat let out.

“He was like 5,”

“Still, he totally ignored me as if I didn’t exist,”

You don’t even realise three hours pass by, as both, you and Jungkook (two nerds united together), talk about politics, how absolutely terrible Mr. Kang is (you laughed for three solid minutes after Jungkook tried to mimic his sneer), he basically forces you to let him tutor you in anatomy, because he just can’t see you not get an A next time (you scoff and act as if you’re doing him a favour by saying yes, while from inside you screaming happily only because now your grades will be much, much higher – you’re definitely not happy because you’ll have to spend more time with the funny, cute, really nice and just overall hot guy that smells so good).

“Oh my God,” Jungkook says as he extends an arm and feels the light rain on his palm, “it’s probably going to rain soon,”

You don’t pay too much heed until 5 minutes later, it’s turns into an intense round of teardrops on the concrete under you, and you’re left to whine about how you’ll walk till your dorm – and there was no way you were going to get a taxi because you literally lived two streets away from the store.

“Let’s dance in the rain,” Jungkook runs into the narrow street, without a care in the world, and you’re left contemplating whether you should join him or not.

“I thought you were sort of mental, but now I’m fully sure your mom dropped you on the head when you were a baby,” you shout from the bench, hoping he can hear your voice despite the loud splat of each raindrop when it meets the ground.

“Join me,” he says as he tries to pull your hand lightly, hoping you would come on your own, and while you haven’t had fun in the rain since you were a child, you can’t help but want to relive the feeling of the cold water hitting you, not knowing where you end up at.

Jungkook ends up leading you, and you both end up doing a sloppy couple’s dance with his hands on your waist, and yours on his shoulders. You look into his eyes and see a childish charm, you see an affection and a purity in his smile, in the cute not so perfect teeth he possessed, and you can’t help but smile. You had never had things come to you, you were never used to this, never used you things happening to you, for you.

After a good fifteen minutes of fooling around, he ends up walking you back to the dorm – both of you a mess, with clothes clinging to your bodies, webbed fingers, wet hair and sore cheeks from smiling too much. Somehow, you didn’t want to be apart from the boy who waved you goodbye, and you don’t end up closing the door until he goes down the stairs and you can’t see his figure anymore.

To Jungkookie <3

[6:17 PM]

im gonna have to use an entire tub of conditioner to make my hair not feel like hay

PART TWO WILL COME OUT SOON XO (there will only be 3 parts).

also, just so everyone knows I absolutely adore jin, no bashing towards him, as once @kpopyandere said, and I quote: For real the closest I’ve ever been to believing in god is seeing Kim seokjin’s face. Only something divine could’ve created that.

I absolutely loved writing this even though it seems like it’s all over the place kind of lol. Been super insecure of my writing lately 🥺❤️ give me validation 🤩 jk but do let me know if you liked something or if u liked something in particular or idk also lmao sry there's no smut ;))))) wait for part two

taglist: @blkjmn @patpus @vantedollz @letmebeyour-sun @zeharilisharaban @hpnjrph @livewittykid @yzkyzkuniverse @nochuactivate @international-kpopfan @gvksp4ce @girlontheblock @kisskoos @jeonkooksgirl @hytibm @jooniescupcakes @teresaisla @lurkerarmy

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts reader insert #bts preference #jungkook scenario #jungkook reaction #jungkook fluff

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paper-cloud · 3 years

Text

i. the crushing weight of what happens next

part of "(there will be a) tomorrow"

fandom: prospect (2018) characters: ezra, cee rating: T words count: ~3K context: post-canon general warnings/tags: see series masterlist warnings/tags for this chapter: ezra's pov. angst. not graphic descriptions of wounds, blood and amputated limbs. mentions of minor characters' death. (probably very) inaccurate but anyways vague descriptions of medical treatments and post-anesthesia symptoms. taglist: @ravensmutty @buttercup--bee @thegreenkid (again, thank you all for your interest and encouragement! :3) @krissology @ezrasarm @bonktime (please forgive my nerve, i won't tag you in the next chapters unless you'll explicitly ask me to! just thought about someone else who might be interested and you guys are AMAZINGLY talented and inspiring "prospect"/ezra writers. it's not my intention to waste precious moments of your time! 🤡

[SERIES MASTERLIST] [MAIN MASTERLIST]

He'd have thought it was almost ironic – opening his eyes to the light only to see nothing. To feel pain.

He'd have laughed about it, most likely. A bit later, he'd have acknowledged it was a reasonably fair compromise; for him and any other wretch that'd ever dared play dice with darkness and miraculously made it out alive.

And in the very end he'd come to laugh at himself, too.

He knows the drill. Someone who trades their own life with the contract of the highest bidder doesn't see the universe in black and white, let alone is in a position to draw the hypothetical line between the two of them.

Must be an even more wicked universe than he's ever cared about, then.

At least, that's where the struggle of opening his eyes made him stumble upon; when a blade of light thrust through that hint of a gap he'd pushed himself to create in the middle, resonating through the dark coils of unconsciousness like a harsh, unforgiving bell.

A skilled mariner over silky rivers of natural redundancy and rapids of professional edges, Ezra is a man who can appreciate a sharp wit when he recognizes one.

That was too much even for him.

Floundering in between a blinding whiteness and a black hole that wasn't even completely black, but permeated by a thick, suffocating haze that filled every ghost haunting his mind with its stench. With the color of diabolically lush leaves.

Forest— spores— poison— death.

It hadn't been enough to let him dangle in apnea above a roaring vortex of lifeless emerald; take him away from the grey flow whose elusiveness he'd come to appreciate more than he'd ever hated to endure its chaos— from the bubble built on the routine series of one last jobs that, in the end, never really were.

There'd been a moment when, from the higher parts of the room, his pupils tumbled down, tripping over a patch of green discreetly lurking in a corner.

He almost threw up.

It had taken him a while to clear out the misty grit clotted in his corneas— focus on white walls, light wood paneling... a harmless seedling in a pot.

He'd breathed heavily, deeply. He sure hadn't got much relief from it. Still, he'd been able to hear its sound, louder than he'd ever heard it before, the musical, cooling mesh of oxygen particles in and out of his lungs almost begging his fingers to be touched.

Oxygen.

Fresh air.

Had he been less sore – less convinced it was just the residual effects of anesthesia pulling pranks on him –, he would have burst out laughing. Even more so if some poor soul of the medical staff nearby would have called for reinforcements from the other side of the space station before storming into his room.

He'd be laughing now, too. The best he can manage is sitting on his bed, leaning his back on the headboard – which is what he's struggling to do right now— and well, sometimes the room lighting still slightly bothers him. Of course, with all the painkillers and antibiotics they've given him, he wouldn't feel like the wound on his stomach is swallowing the entire arsenal of stitches and bandages.

He just wouldn't like her to get the wrong idea.

He blinks several times, like a man who no longer trusts his eyes. How can he, when they're burning like that, in such a different fire from the one from days before – damp and flickering? For reasons he can imagine, she seems to be faltering. Totally beyond his comprehension, he could swear she's smiling at him. Something inside his ribcage creaks oddly, while the curve of his chest arches upward.

"Birdie."

It's just a huff of breath, weak and hoarse, yet scratches his throat all the same, in a way that its walls feel studded with rock spurs. Actually, Ezra doesn't remember talking since they left the Green behind – which, being him, is saying something – and it's like an eternity has passed since their pod docked up there.

The nurse who let her into his room has just left and Cee sinks her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. She's still smiling— just the faded shadow of a smile, now that he takes a better look at her.

"How's your wound?"

It sounds a lot less plain than he expected.

She hasn't moved towards him any further, and for now she's not showing any hints at wanting to. In her irises, Ezra recognizes thumping stars and cerulean clouds, all clustered in the black circle cut by the large porthole next to his bed. All before catching the thin mist veiling them. As if she did want to reach those stars, let herself get carried away by those streams of bluish dust, but she had no idea how or what to do there.

He looks down, the borders of the bandages over his abdomen slightly raised under his black short-sleeved tee. He clears his throat.

"S'healin' nicely", he says, with a deliberate lightheartedness that costs him a sharp, bizarre inflection in his voice. He closes his eyes soon after, tilting his head condescendingly. "That's how the nurse feels about it, anyway... S'not like I can feel much more right now."

This reminds him of those vacuous moments between brief, chaotic waking states and delirious dreams. When he'd managed to reconnect some essential key points scattered around in the talks of surgeons and nurses; the weariness he felt from simply gathering he was on a space station due to enter the orbit of Mesos in three cycles and something standard hours. All while his only solid reference point – the only indisputable proof he was still alive – was the sequence of beeps chirped by the medical monitor perched nearby. Constant, not monotonous. Friendly, even. Sometimes, he actually comes to miss it.

"A trust fall to the extreme, I'd guess", he snorts, a sly laugh as weak and heavy as the words trudging out of his mouth. As the whole rest of him.

Whatever answer she's considering, Cee freezes it in a quick purse of her lips – maybe a nod, but for his own good he'd rather be doubtful. Then she starts looking around.

There's a chair under the board firmly anchored to the opposite wall – probably a desk or something he's never needed to test, whatsoever. She grabs it and puts it next to his bed. She sits down, bringing her legs to her chest, squeezing them in her arms.

Waiting for what, Ezra has no idea, and he's afraid she doesn't have any, either.

He doesn't speak, though, nor does he encourage her to do the same. Her pearly gaze roams steadily but unhurriedly from him to somewhere beyond him, her nose buried in the gap between her knees. He studies her carefully, two purple crescents above her cheeks, a few hair strands swinging down her face without her wiping them out. The nights she's slept through haven't been any more peaceful than his.

Trust, he recalls in the meantime.

It sure brings an odd taste to his mouth. Something close to sweaty spacesuits, grimy paths and gone-off ration bars. A single word for two human beings forced to share the same air filter for days; that, and the image of a dead body left to rot miles behind and the desperate commitment not to end up in the same way.

His gaze just happens to trip over his right side, taking in the deflated sleeve over the emptiness that saved his life. When he lifts it back to the girl, meeting her eyes just before they can flutter away, he realizes they were both looking at the same spot. And he realizes something else— something he's already understood, yet not quite.

There is no tube binding them now.

"Why d'you do it?", he mumbles a split second later, almost like somehow the thread of his question has immediately knotted to the one of his previous thought.

He huffs. He shouldn't even have asked her, in all honesty. Seeing her like this, at least he should have put it in another way, danced around it, it's not like he’s never been good at stalling, after all—

"Comin' back", Ezra says instead, and when he swallows, he mainly does it to send his heart back down his throat. If he'd died without being given the last chance to be this straightforward on this matter, he would have probably kicked his ass all the way to the other side.

This time, Cee doesn't avoid his gaze. He shouldn't be surprised by how collected she looks, given the calmness she handled his infected arm with and then told him about when she used to slip into Jata Bhalu carcasses. But he can't help it when he thinks she can't be much older now than what she was then.

He watches her breathing in, wobbling her pupils here and there, seemingly considering his words. She's not afraid, not any more than what she seemed to be when she walked into his room. Maybe she's just better than him at playing pretend – but this, he can't tell whether it's more of a good than a bad thing. Especially for her.

One thing he can tell is that she's not the same girl who pointed a trembling gun at him before running away into the woods. He knows she's not afraid.

He knows...

So is it the hunter's instinct he has to blame if he feels she is?

"Guess I've seen too much death on that forsaken moon to just... turn my back on one I can help– one I can do something about."

If he was standing in front of an entire mountain crumbling down into the ocean, he wouldn't hear its sound. ‘Wouldn't even be the worst he deserves. She did hesitate before adding the last few words, but Ezra refuses to believe she did that because she was afraid of hurting him. He may be a wretch, but not a fool.

Kevva, for a man who's always managed to untwist himself from far tougher situations with the tangles of his tongue alone, he's sure having a deal of trouble – and he wishes he could put all the blame on his current physical condition.

There is no word he doesn't have to weigh carefully now, to prevent it from taking too sharp edges once out of his lips. He may float around it forever. But once he's let her go without saying anything, he'll hardly find the courage to look within himself again, more than after any other job that hardened his hands with calluses and tarnished his eyes with blood.

He doesn't know for sure. In fact, everything he was sure to know – about the turning direction of the universe and the one of the wheels in his head – has already collapsed in front of him, tracing a flaming tail. An unforgiving meteor following a trajectory far beyond his grasp.

He just knows silence scares him, in a way that a wrong word will never do again. It terrifies him. More than as a talkative person, as a castaway on a hostile moon for too many cycles to keep their count – with the only company of a mute. Silence is green; the green of the most poisonous pollen, lethal in his brain just like toxic spores enveloped in his lungs. The green of snake scales ready to stand and scratch his flesh until liquid crimson pours out of it.

And at the end of the day, this is the only fucking thing he can tell himself to know without having his guts churning and chest heaving a beat later.

"Stop looking at me like that."

It's more of an exhausted prayer than an annoyed remark. Ezra blinks, stunned by the sudden return from the shapeless stream of his thoughts.

"Like what?"

"Like you're looking for the words to thank me", Cee settles back into her chair and this time she lets one leg touch the floor, "Tell me you owe me, and you– you're sorry about what you did."

Ezra sniffles. "Would it be bad?"

"No, it—". She closes her eyes for a moment, clenching her jaw. "Just no good", she breathes out, calmer.

And the discordant note in those words conjures up ghosts not yet vague enough for Ezra to be able to tolerate them without something twinging inside him— like a violent flutter of wings. Voices groping their way up ravels of compromises. Damon, deep in the forest. Himself, with the mercenaries in the Queen's Lair. Cee, days before that. After he—

She's right— those words she hasn't said yet, but whose shadow he feels looming every time he catches her wetting her lips.

Some things just can't be split evenly.

"This is not the Green", she states, suddenly more confident but no less exhausted. "If you're going to hang around just because you need to, once we reach Mesos¹ you'd better be on your way."

Ezra doesn't interrupt her. A faded echo starts making its way into his ears. A former prospecting partner, many years ago. An easy job on a forgettable Fringe moon.

Gems don't have an expiration date. Deals do. Strike 'em if you need to, get rid of them as soon as you can. Unless you care to dig a quicker way to your grave.

He didn't pay attention to it, then. He'd thought it was just the empty rhetoric prospectors drop absentmindedly to fill the time between an unrewarding digging and the next. All the more so under the rickety advice of a couple too many.

His eyes still wide open, hands shaky, he merely reciprocated the awkward bottle lift of his partner, whom he didn't know more than the meanders of that quarry. A toast to a faceless future – a nothingness still more reassuring than what was all around and behind them. Not to the darkness of the cave, basically unbreakable if only for the red halo thrown by the twinkles of sharp, sinister Prystines². Not even to the two poor bastards that had set out with them, ending up skewered a few hundred paces behind – one by mistake, the other to return the favor of saving him from the clutches of a furious Aiu³.

Like an idiot.

Several contracts later preventing him from missing a beat in front of similar hiccups, the logic of that statement no longer sounds so absurd to Ezra. Luckily for him, Cee understood it long before him.

"I was just lookin' for the words to tell ya you'll be better off without me—"

Half a truth. Half a heartbeat. After all, she isn't the only one of them who knows how to sell it.

He leans his head back against the headboard, eyes half-closed, a sly grin baring a couple of his upper teeth. It would almost be intimidating, except that the glint hitting them doesn't quite match the dying one in his eyes.

"—But you beat me to it", he finishes, and he sounds like he's about to fall asleep.

He slowly turns his head away, looks through the porthole. His gaze clutches to the passing asteroids outside, distant nebulae spraying the sidereal black with hues of purple, blue, red— then green, again. A climbing plant squeezing him from the inside, discomfort starts creeping on him an inch of his body – what's left of it – at a time.

He doesn't want her to think he's angry at her, and it's the only concrete foothold emerging from the fluid, magmatic chaos in his mind.

How could he be, when she came back to get him?

She didn't have to.

She doesn't have to be here, either...

"I'm sorry", she suddenly blurts out.

He meets her eyes again, a mix of bewilderment and disapproval shading his own. He shakes his head.

"Don't."

"I just—". She starts fiddling with the extra fabric created by the folds of her sweatpants. Then she sighs deeply. "I have no idea what I'm gonna do now."

He snorts. "Not that it's s'pposed to make you feel any better, but... neither do I."

He doesn't have a hazy helmet choking the glimmer in his eyes, an air filter breaking some frequencies in his voice— maybe just those making him sound sincere, while saving those trapping him into the swamp of self-loathing.

He was nothing but honest when he told her the rules of the game on the Green. When he openly admitted he was a killer, and when he assured her he wouldn't trade her for the Sater's Aurelac. And she's always seemed to believe him, maybe for that kind of desperate inertia that washes over people when they need something to cling to. Whatever the case, Ezra can only hope she wants to believe him now. But she doesn't speak, and for a moment his fear of not saying enough overcomes that of crossing her boundaries.

"But w—", he immediately bites his tongue, "—you still have three cycles to figure things out. Someone up here will be able to help you. Even so, please know you'll always have my most sincere gratitude."

The effort of lining up all those words and so few pauses to catch his breath casts a thick fog over his ears. His eyes suddenly hurt again and he finds himself squinting.

What happens next, he just records it, hardly managing to follow each cause-effect relationship. A series of events softly raining on him without making a noise, while he can quite imagine them to be way more prolonged in time. Cee leaning towards the lighting panel on the wall, sliding her finger counterclockwise, and the white coating the walls turning less painfully bright; her getting up, walking away, dwelling just before the door. "I'll come to check on you tomorrow", she says, sniffling.

She tilts her head, holding his gaze in her watery one for an agonizingly slow while – Please, don't ask me why.

He blinks once – Of course.

Then, the automatic door is once again engulfed by the wall, closing behind her with a metallic rustle.

Tomorrow.

His heart is taken by a spiraling jolt that leaves an empty cave behind. When it falls back into place, Ezra finds something has tripped in there, shapeless and quivering like the nucleus of a newborn star.

Hope, terror and everything that lies in between.

___________________

NOTES:

1) Mesos — Invented planet. Its only raison d'être is that "mésos" in Greek means "middle" and my intent was to frame this story in a moment of transition (after those of movies) for both Ezra and Cee. 2) Prystines — Invented kind of crystals. They're implied to be huge, red and very sharp, thus endangering the path through the cave. 3) Aiu — Invented predator, ideally a big feline.

A/N:

Yeah, uhm... at this point, if someone was ever to give me any kind of feedback, constructive criticism or random thought, I think I'd just melt into a puddle for the attention alone. And to all those who came all the way down here, your bravery shall not be forgotten. ♥️✨

In my defense, it's (almost) all P**** P*****'s fault & of his habit of taking orphans under his wing from one planet to another.

I know people in the fandom generally tend to make Ezra and Cee go along straight away after the movie, so this will be a slightly different take on things, I guess... But even if I don't know if I'll keep this series going atm (life & maturity exam suck), a final reconciliation is definitely on the way. ;)

Oh, and any beta reader that should feel like helping me out for when I'll have the next chapters ready is warmly welcomed! My DMs are always open and I swear I don't bite! :3

#prospect (2018)#prospect movie #ezra (prospect)#cee (prospect)#pedro pascal #sophie thatcher #my writing ☁️#geez what tf did i write this so long for?#it's all sadness and insecurities and introspections #hopefully i'll fit more dialogues in for the next ones...#which means kevva help me when i'll have to put my hands on that verbose space rascal's dialogues #i already know i'll ruin him but i really don't want to but he's so fucking intimidating but—#*goes hiding in her cave*

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pinkhairedlily · 3 years

Text

[Open Your Mouth] Chapter 3 - O

See previous chapters here: AO3 | Tumblr

Summary: She downs her mimosa in one long drink and snaps her fingers. The television shuts blank, and she sashays her way to a room. It looks just like any other wall partition but it opens to an expansive study. It has a day bed on the side, a long table, and her most comfortable swivel chair. Metallic chairs are folded on the side for her clients.Taking up the rest of the space are shelves filled with her favorite books. In the middle, sandwiched by volumes of Crime and Punishment and Les Miserables are jars of teeth submerged in liquid, white, sparkly, well-maintained. On the other end of the wall is a chest box which also functions like a wide ottoman. Except that it isn’t. It’s a freezer for the meat she has yet to eat.

-xxxxxxx-

March 7, 2021, 12:03 PM

“Open your mouth please.” Her bright emerald irises pop out from her mask as she probes the inside of his mouth. Sasuke feels the metal tool scrape against his tooth on the lower left. His tongue is on the edge of making a clucking sound, but he winces from a sharp pain when she moves his tooth from front to back.

“It’s loose,” she confirms for him. He recognizes notes of jasmine in her proximity. “I can extract it for you now. You’ll just have to spend the rest of the day under pain killers.”

He dropped by her clinic during his lunch break, intending to take up her offer in the off chance that she accepts walk-ins.

Of course, it was situated on the 25th floor of one of Senju’s high rise buildings which houses their offshoot businesses in the medical field; one floor for every niche – a chiropractor on the tenth, a hair transplant on the 17th, herbal practitioners on the 20th.

Of course, the brunette receptionist with a very sharp eyeliner sent him away, and looked at him pointedly with visible annoyance when he brought up that the dentist offered the appointment herself. People often tell him he’s handsome, and he gets to use this pretty privilege during the conduct of cases sometimes. But people here are immune to his so-called stoic charm.

Of course, it’s probably because there are far richer, far more aristocratic clients than him that would have naturally made a beeline towards the beautiful dentist.

He clucks nonetheless, his tongue grazing against the cold metal. “Can you do it under thirty?”

“Rushing for an appointment?” She gets the syringe from her assistant and taps it on her delicate wrist.

“Vying if I could get ten more minutes for an ice cream.” Her hands are light and quick to inject the anesthesia in the surrounding gums. He hears her soft chuckle against her mask.

“Not the first time that someone did that move.” She hands him his cone with one scoop of mint chocolate.

“I’m not a fan of sweets if you should know,” he says. “Is strong arm strength needed for a dentist?” Two big bites from the top.

Sakura blushes with an intensity, he notes, and in contrast her actions – she shies away her gaze from his stare with her fingers devoid of any jewelry. “You’re as direct as everyone in your lot goes, huh?”

“Is the topic too morbid for you, Dr. Haruno?”

“I’m keeping tabs with the news but I forego the specifics.” She fiddles with her two scoops of double dutch in a small cup. “But to answer your question, you only need to have the right leverage, an accurate position, and a good angle to ease out the naughtiest of teeth. However, it’s really an advantage to have great arm strength. It can get tiring after the twelve noon patient.”

Sasuke finishes his ice cream in the next three bites, feeling nothing in his mouth, the anesthesia still kicking, but he can taste the blood mingle with the freshness of mint, a tinge of rust in the sweetness on his tongue. “You’re not as bothersome as everyone in your lot.”

She raises both of her eyebrows, not sure if she understands his underlying implications.

“Dr. Tsunade Senju and Dan Haruno, top billing general surgeons of the medical world.”

Her mouth opens to form a small and soundless oh. “Ah I’m sure you already snuffed most information about me – it goes that way, right? Ah? Not at all? – So the thing is….I’m not their legitimate daughter. I’m adopted.”

He didn’t have to snuff, these are all open information in the playground of the rich. “A stroke of luck to land on a high end and well managed orphanage.” Her immense wealth does not translate to jewelry, face jobs, and fancy lash lifts. On her breast pocket are three pilot coletos, an apple watch on her wrist, mid-budget choice of clothes, and comfortable white Nike sneakers to be later replaced with a good fit of block heels. When summed up, they barely make a dent out of her daily worth. The rest of the money must have been channeled to her clinic’s state of the art facilities.

“You could say that I struck gold with my circumstances since then.” She spoons out a big chunk of her ice cream.

“But not prior.” The sugar brown cone also disappears in his mouth, all the chewing done by only one side.

“Amnesia. I reportedly had a traumatic head injury when they found me.” Her pink locks drift to the side, her head tilted in expectation of his further prodding.

Sasuke twists the line to another direction, and he captures the quick change of her microexpression from subtle guarding to surprise. “Would it be possible to inject one strong dose of anesthesia to the full mouth and extract all teeth?”

“Enough to knock them unconscious,” she confirms.

And kill them without sound, Sasuke surmises. He stands up and taps his wristwatch. “My ten minutes with you is up. I take it my extraction procedure is free?”

“I’m sure you’ll afford the next one.” She continues to fiddle with her cup as she watches him go.

Sasuke halts in his exiting steps and looks back at Sakura like it’s an afterthought. “If you’d like a payment, a dinner wouldn’t be so bad.” He turns on his heels and doesn’t stop, he can hear a faint laughter behind his back.

-x-

March 10, 2021, 7:16 PM

“Did I keep you waiting?” He slides on the seat across her and takes in her body language as well as their milieu.

They agreed to meet at seven sharp but Kakashi had asked for another briefing from him so he was held back. Her soft expression, in all its exuding naivety, gives nothing away. “This place doesn’t have no reservations, Detective.”

“Just Sasuke,” he remarks. He clucks his tongue in appreciation. “A hole in the wall noodle place. You frequent this area?”

“A reminder that you gave me the green light to choose.” She’s dressed today in an olive sweatshirt tucked into a neat pair of trousers and velvet loafers – a right mix of classy and casual. “It’s my assistant’s go-to. He would always bring me the best-selling set after a grueling work day so I asked for an address.”

“Thanks for the consideration, Dr. Haruno,” he says. Their order arrives minutes after, and she flashes an apologetic smile. For ordering beforehand Frankly speaking, he expected her to bring him into a Michelin restaurant – one to boost her reputation and second to blanket her in safety of familiar breeds. Or maybe safety is much better in company of anonymity.

“Just Sakura.”

They finish two plates of dimsum and almost empty out the small bottle of chili oil, garlic, sesame, and soy sauce concoction. Sipping a glass of soy milk after a bounty feast, Sasuke reviews the facts again in his mind.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Sakura asks, finished with her drink.

“Give me a hundred bucks then.”

“How many coffee orders would those be worth?”

Sasuke smirks in spite of himself. He changes topics again, on to the mundane life of a Senju-Haruno heir.

“How is the case progressing by the way?”

He glances up and notes the curiosity and fear in her eyes. “Classified information.”

She leans, plates with crumbles and half-empty glasses in between, and tilts her head, her rose locks spilling from her back. “Will they come for me?”

An alarm ticks off somewhere in his mind. “What makes you think so?” They’ve only had one body so far with no other indication of a succeeding death.

He sees that she bites the inside of her mouth, and she fiddles again with the cutlery in front of her. “Maybe I’m just overthinking.”

About ten minutes later, he ushers her outside the rather dingy restaurant but when no car arrives to escort her back to her place, he encourages her to place an uber. He could ask her to ride with him but the mere implications are layered, and he’s not ready for that quite yet. She gives him a look when he opens the door to her uber, an unspoken question she is yet to articulate. When he gets nothing within seconds, he waves goodbye.

“Give me a text when you’re home,” he says although he shouldn’t have.

“It has been an interesting night,” she replies. “Detective.”

The car finally drives away, and he remains with the remnants of her jasmine scent.

-x-

March 13, 2021, 5:49 PM, The second body

“You are not going to release that profile,” the wife of Haru Kagoshi says. She also stands as the chief overseas director of Haru Light, Inc. “Are you insinuating that my husband fucked a gay man?”

“Fuck is a callous word. Watch your tone,” the CEO of Mingwa Industries warn. “Are you sure you’re on the right track?”

“With all due respect, Captain Yamato is the best we have in the country in the field of criminal profiling. He knows what he’s doing,” Asuma assures everyone.

“And are your detectives doing the proper work? Are you covering all fields?” the Mingwa COO pointedly looks at Sasuke. “Because as far as performance goes, you’re allowing that killer to cripple our economy by snuffing out the next best minds.”

Kakashi’s eyes roll in sync with Sasuke’s at the cripple our economy.

Yamato stands up and offers a cup of coffee at the recently widowed which she explicitly ignores. “We will not be identifying the gender of the killer, but we need to narrow it down to males. Of course, it’s up to the public how they will presume it is connected to the genital mutilation.”

“Fuck you,” the widow says. “You know we can cut off your institutional funding, right?”

Kakashi has started massaging his forehead, a sign that he is nearing his bullshit tolerance level. “Yes you can, but we have an annual appropriation from the government. And cutting off our resources won’t solve this case any faster.”

“-with your due respect,” Asuma adds, hoping to de-escalate the situation.

The grandfather CEO of Mingwa Industries scoffs. “We’ll just have to launch our individual investigation then. In case you might be intentionally sabotaging the progress of this case, isn’t that right, Uchiha Sasuke?”

The disdain in his voice when Uchiha rolls off his tongue is jarring and pointed. Sasuke smirks in defiance, willing to push these elites further to the edge of self-destruction. Years in a gray cubicle and thousands of meters walked in company to a reviewing mind, he found that money could get you somewhere – just not the finish line. “You’d better keep an eye out on me then.”

“What the fuck was that about?” Asuma sneers at the detective department after the white collars scampered off. “They are strong lobbyists backing powerful politicians. We shouldn’t be picking a fight with them.”

“He started it,” Sasuke points to Kakashi who shrugs.

“Anyway, Yamato and I will prepare to announce the profile to the media, just a vague description, and then we’ll work on a composite sketch based on these assumptions,” Kakashi pats Asuma’s shoulders. “Ease up. I’m sure Sasuke and his team are doing their best.”

“I’m not doubting an Uchiha, but I’m doubting the way your petty behaviors get in the process of investigation. Now get out and do your jobs.” The Chief Police retrieves a half-emptied pack of cigarettes and lights up a stick. “This job is giving me cancer.”

11:13 PM

She sips her third glass of mimosa as her eyes drift to the sound of her television. A big banner of breaking news is placed below with the caption authorities release a profile: a serial killer at hand?

She chuckles, almost spilling the cocktail on her fingers. She drifts closer to the screen and her nails stick on the necks of the silver-haired man and the man who she assumes is the criminal profiler.

“Authorities confirm that Armando Mingwa and Haru Kagoshi have been killed by the same person. Renowned profiler Captain Yamato reveals the breakdown of the suspect – male with a minimum height of 5’7, age from late 20s to early 30s, and frequents the high-end districts. When asked if we have a serial killer at large, the chief detective and the profiler neither confirmed nor deny.”

She downs her mimosa in one long drink and snaps her fingers. The television shuts blank, and she sashays her way to a room. It looks just like any other wall partition but it opens to an expansive study. It has a day bed on the side, a long table, and her most comfortable swivel chair. Metallic chairs are folded on the side for her clients.Taking up the rest of the space are shelves filled with her favorite books. In the middle, sandwiched by volumes of Crime and Punsihment and Les Miserables are jars of teeth submerged in liquid, white, sparkly, well-maintained.

On the other end of the wall is a chest box which also functions like a wide ottoman. Except that it isn’t. It’s a freezer for the meat she has yet to eat.

March 24, 2021, 1:10 PM

“So what was the dentist’s alibi?” Neji asks the sullen detective.

“He had a meditation class for each date – January 29 and February 27 – which runs for five hours. They time it with the moon cycles. I also called his teacher – she prefers to be called witch – and confirmed his attendance.” Sasuke clucks his tongue. “However, they are a class of 100. He can easily slip out when everyone else is closing their eyes and saying humbda dumda.”

He glances at the map on the wall, pins already on the dumpsites, and he zeroes in on the address smack in the middle. “And he can dump the body with his nondescript car and go back in again. Did you know he has three cars – a Tesla, Mercedes, and a black pick-up?”

Tenten carries a fresh pot of coffee to the table and stares at their evidence board. “I’m guessing it’s the same truck with the garbage ones – those going through the suburbs?”

Sasuke nods. “He says it’s for farming. He has a land on the rural side of the district.”

Jugo raises a brow. “That ends my snooping in with the golden spoons.”

“Not quite Jugo.” Neji fills himself a cup. “These people socialize in the same circles you know.”

Someone knocks on the open door of the room and raises a box of cake. “Delivery for you, Detective Uchiha.” The staff attempts to enter but Jugo raises a finger to stop her.

“Who’s it from?” Jugo asks. “It might be the killer.”

The staff scratches the back of her head. “I don’t think the killer is a beautiful pink-haired lady with green eyes.”

All heads turn curiously to Sasuke who gets the cake from the staff. “It’s my punishment.”

Tenten’s eyes narrow at the name on the card. Haruno Sakura. “How is it a punishment? She brought you – us – sweets.”

“She knows I hate sweets. Help yourself though.”

“So you’re dating?” Neji says it with disbelief. “How? You’re barely in the office and – oh my god, you’re skipping hours aren’t you!”

Jugo repeats the name over and over. “Fuck. You’re seeing the Haruno Sakura? She’s as recluse as the oddball heirs go, but I’ve only heard good things from her. I heard she’s very skilled with her hands. Experienced it yet, Uchiha?”

Sasuke kicks him in the shin as soon as he’s done talking. “Firsthand. A tooth on the lower left. Now shut up and get back to work.”

-x-

April 12, 2021, 6:17 AM, The third body

The team congregates in the morgue. Another body. Only this time, it was found on a ravine, some parts already devoured by wild animals.

“It’s Fugashi Imamu, current overseas director of Imamu Holdings,” the medical examiner tells them. “Same methods done but there’s more clotting on the crotch area, indicating his genital was mutilated while he was still alive.”

Jugo and Neji both groan inwardly.

“He has an eight-year old.” Tenten crosses her arms in front of her. “A math wizard.”

Sasuke closes his eyes, fending off the initial signs of a migraine. The cases kept piling, and they were nowhere close to a lead. “Can you estimate the date of death?”

“I wouldn’t know just yet with all the rigor mortis and animal attacks. But if we pattern this with the recent killings, and the body was dumped within the last two weeks, the killing must have taken place on the last week of March.”

11:13 AM

March 29, Sasuke thinks about the ME’s latest message. There must be a pattern for the dates of killings. And if there was, they are up against an intelligent killer, a methodical one. He must have a list of targets with a step by step process on how to approach and kill each one. He plans weeks ahead with several contingencies.

“Captain Yamato confirms the ME’s assumption. There really is a pattern,” Tenten tells the team. “Unfortunately, the information already reached the golden spoon team.”

Neji comes in with stacks of folders and notebooks. “Got all his stuff from his secretary. Seems like the bastard slept around or may have been just a bad boss, said she couldn’t be more than happy to live in a world rid of such filthy lolita creep – her words, not mine.”

They go through each page, jotting down relevant information. Sasuke, on the other hand, flips through a small wallet-sized planner. Jotted down on March 26 is veneers with Dr. Akugawa. He seems like the go-to dentist of the big shots. He goes further up the dates and there on March 6 is a name he doesn’t expect. Haruno Sakura.

“It’s true. His daughter had an appointment with me,” Sakura confirms over the phone. “But he also dropped by last year for a tooth extraction dislodged by a punch from his grandfather. Old money can be quite controlling.”

“Ah. Doesn’t he have a family dentist?” He taps his pen on his desk, tens of gears running through his mind.

“Told me his dentist was unavailable for an emergency procedure so he dropped by the one nearest his office.”

Sasuke looks at the time on his watch. “Did you have lunch yet?”

“I have an 11:30. But I can see you in 12.”

He gets there fifteen minutes before, and he flashes his badge to Laura who has grown accustomed to his lunch break visits. Nonetheless, her countenance makes apparent her dislike.

“Your cctv records please,” Sasuke tells her. It isn’t a request, Laura knows, so she leads him to the administrative room on the floor and instructs the staff to show the dates he mentions.

Kiyoko Imamu went there on March 6 with her mother and a helper. They backtrack until they find the date when Fugashi had an appointment. A 30-minute visit and he was quickly out.

“Does Dr. Haruno have other clinics? A private location for a niche clientele?” Sasuke asks.

Laura shakes her head. “Only this one, and she doesn’t accept house calls. She likes to concentrate her work in one place.”

He tells the staff to rewind the records on January 29, February 27, and March 29. Nothing was peculiar about Sakura’s body language, Sasuke notes. He commits all records in his memory and allows himself to be ushered out by Laura. They arrive to Sakura waiting at the receptionist’s desk.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” She asks him with a tilt in her head.

“Just right about now.” He offers an open arm to her which she links with hers. Her face immediately blooms in shades of red.

“We have mussel soup today and grilled mackerel. On the other hand, we also serve bolognese. Or do you have any other location in mind?”

“Your cafeteria’s menu sounds nice.”

They’re interrupted by Sasuke’s phone.

“Where are you?” Kakashi’s voice borders on the edge of frustration.

“Lunch,” Sasuke replies.

“Come back asap. The families had Jugo come in and take Akugawa for questioning.”

#open your mouth #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #pinkhairedlily #crime and mystery au #thriller au #am i even doing this right lmao

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drariellevalentine · 3 years

Text

This Is Me Trying- pt.2

Hey everyone! Hope you’re having a beautiful day! Sorry this took so long, I have exams going on currently. Here’s part 2 and here’s to hoping y’all won’t kill me for this.

If you haven’t read part 1, click here for the link!

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Characters:- Ethan Ramsey, Arielle Valentine, Harper Emery, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Naveen Banerji, Jackie Varma and Bryce Lahela

Warnings:- Angst, Swearing

Inspiration:- This Is Me Trying and the rest of the Folklore album by Taylor Swift

Harper’s PoV:-

Thirty minutes later, you stand in Naveen’s office, his face completely torn and yours betraying the slightest of sadness.

“Naveen?” He turns to look at you. You shoot him a look.

“I thought they would be fine, and now look how it’s turned out. They both have been arguing every single time and now Arielle’s…”

“She hasn’t transferred her residency yet, at least officially. I’m sure Ethan would have talked her out of it.” Naveen looks at you.

“Yes?”

“Nothing…” You raise an eyebrow. “Well, I mean you dated him…”, he trails off. You laugh.

“I wouldn’t call it dating, we would occasionally have dinner and sleep together, that’s it. Have you seen the way he looks at her?” You chuckle. “He’s like a completely different version of himself, a better version.”

Naveen smiles. “Well I’m happy to hear that, I was about to head out for a quick

coffee, join me?”

“Of course, I’d like to.” You both head out and have a coffee and a quick bite of pastry.

“That pastry was quite good.”

“You should try Dr. Trinh’s treats! Her and Sunshine stop by every now and then with a box of them, they’re quite delicious!”

“Oh, I’ve heard of them alright. Dr. Lahela raves about them during many surgeries.” Just then your pager beeps. “Speaking of surgeries…” You see it’s a page from Bryce. “Where are you?! You needed to be here five minutes ago!”

Naveen sees the page. “This sounds important, let’s go.” You nod and rush back to the hospital.

Bryce’s PoV:-

You’re just coming out from an OR when you spot him.

“Dr. Ramsey!” He looks around and winces as he spots you.

“Yes? Make it quick, I have urgent matters to attend to.”

“You mean Elle. She just sent me a text saying I’m transferring my residency back to New York. I was about to look for her but an emergency lobectomy came in and Dr. Emery was on break.”

“Well um yes, we sort of had a argument which got a bit out of hand.”

“ Go talk to her. Oh! And apologise! I’m sure everything’s alright, besides we all know she makes impulsive desicions sometimes.”, you say.

“...it wasn’t an impulsive desicion, Arielle’s signed all the damn paperwork.” Your eyes widen as you spot a head with the familiar balayage heading towards the atrium.

“There she is! Go, fast!” Ethan doesn’t give you a second glance as he runs after her. You shake your head with a slight smirk. “She’s got him wrapped around her finger.”

“Bryce! Did she tell you?!” You turn to see the whole gang in tow.

“By text. Turns out the old couple had an argument, the old man told me himself. He’s gone to make things right.”

“Oh he better apologise, he’s been treating her like some random person and if he doesn’t I will-“

“Woah, woah, woah. Cool your jets, Jackie.”

“I don’t know, Bryce. Jackie’s right. I’m worried that she’ll go back to New York, I saw her looking at the website a few days ago but I didn’t think it meant anything.”

“Did you see where they went?”, Elijah asks.

“Yeah, they were heading towards the atrium but”- Suddenly you hear a deafening crash sound.

“Oh my god, that sounded like”-

“It came from the atrium.”, Jackie finishes Sienna’s sentence. You all rush towards the atrium to find smoke pouring out of the central elevator, a huge crowd gathered by it.

You notice Raf and a few other paramedics assessing the damage and other staff ask questions. You quickly go and inquire Rafael about the situation.

“Dude, what happened?”

“Not sure, Bryce. It looks like a chain snapped, the elevator crashed down and a few nurses are saying that they saw Dr. Ramsey go inside but they’re not sure if he got off. They’re checking the security footage right now.”

Your eyes widen as you realise if Ethan was inside, then Arielle could be inside too. “What’s the matter?”

“If he was there, that means she was inside too! Oh god…”

“Bryce, calm down first. Who are you talking about?”

“...Arielle. They had a fight and he was going after her.”

“Oh my god! Guys, what do we do?”, you find Sienna and everyone else.

His eyes widen. “We’ll go check the security camera ourselves. Authorities are on their way already, it’s the only thing we can do.” You all rush to the security office.

Spotting Bobby combing though the footage, you head towards him.

“Bobby, any luck?”, Raf asks.

“Not yet, I’ve checked the footage but so far nothing.”

“Oh god, what if she was in there? You guys saw the elevator…”, Elijah rambles as

Sienna’s face pales.

“Guys, don’t panic. It won’t help us until we know what exactly happened.”, Jackie says but you can see the fear evident in her eyes.

A familiar face on the screen catches your eye. “Bobby stop! Scroll a bit back. There!” You point to Ethan’s face on the monitor entering the elevator, Elle’s half clearly visible.

“This was at 3:28. Check all the other elevator entrances around that time to see if they got out.”

“9th floor! She’s getting out!”, Sienna shrieks. But the relief doesn’t last long as she steps back inside.

“That was at 3:40. The time the elevator crashed.” Everyone is shocked, not knowing what to do as Bobby announces the victims on his walkie-talkie.

You pull out your pager and page Dr. Emery. You run your hand through your hair, trying and failing miserably to calm yourself.

Harper’s PoV:-

As you enter Edenbrook, you sense something is amiss. Naveen turns to look at you, understanding. You both enter to see a huge crowd gathered near the left side of the atrium, smoke billowing from the elevator. You spot Dr. Lahela amongst the crowd and call him. He and the other residents run towards you both.

“Thank god you guys are here!”

“Dr. Lahela, tell us exactly what happened.”, Naveen says.

“We’re not exactly sure ourselves, the authorities haven’t arrived yet. But the elevator crashed down from 9 floors above...and both Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Valentine were inside.”

“...they both were inside?”, Naveen asks as pain flits across his face. Bryce nods somberly.

“I have to go. Contacting the authorities is all we can do.” Naveen walks away sadly.

“Lahela, go with him.” Bryce nods and follows him.

“Dr. Emery, does Dr. Ramsey carry his phone with him? We could try calling them to see that they’re…”, Sienna stops not being able to finish the sentence. You nod and quickly pull out your phone. The ring continues as you place it on speaker, once...twice...thrice...you’re about to end the call when the familiar baritone tone greets you.

“Hello?” Relief washes over everyone’s features

“Oh thank god, Ethan! We were so worried. How many people are inside? Is anyone hurt?”, you ask.

“No, it’s just me and Ari-“ Suddenly, Ethan’s voice cuts off.

“Ethan? Ethan?! Ethan, can you hear me?!” You hear him shouting her name. Tears form in the corners of everyone’s eyes.

“Ethan, talk to me! What happened?”

Ethan’s PoV:-

You check Arielle’s pulse and other vitals. “Damnit!”

You hear Harper and the other residents shouting. “She’s unconscious. Her pulse is low, and she’s suffered major blood loss. Her injuries are...extensive. It’s impossible for me to determine how bad they are considering the conditions.”

“Naveen’s working on it. What about you? Are you alright?”

“I’m perfectly fine. Just work on getting us out of here, we need a CT and MRI and multiple drugs to stop further bleeding as soon as possible.”, you respond with the only thought on your mind being her, it always was and always will be.

“Got it. Does your phone have enough battery?” You check it and curse.

“Only around 20%.”

“Check if Arielle has her’s.” You carefully slide your hand into her back pocket, and pull out her phone covered in blood. “It has almost 90%.”

“Okay, I’ll call you when I have an update. Call me if anything happens.” Harper ends the call, leaving you alone.

You look at her as worry and fear takes over your mind.

“Hang on there, okay? You’re going to be just fine.”, you say, unsure if you’re promising her...or assuring yourself.

You spend the next 30 minutes checking her vitals again and again and try to assess her injuries to distract yourself, not wanting to think about what-if’s.

Harper’s PoV:-

“What the hell is going on here?! It’s been 30 minutes and there's still no action taken!”, you shout as you come back from Naveen’s office. You offered to take over as Chief, knowing that both of them mean a great deal.

“We’re trying, but the elevator is wedged sideways and stuck between the first and ground floor.” You sigh.

“Have you tried prying open the doors?”, you ask.

“That’s what we’re about to do. If this works, then get everything you need and assemble on the ground floor.” You nod.

“Dr. Emery! Any progress?” You turn to the young paramedic.

“Not yet, but we’re about to.” He nods. You quickly arrange for all specialists to be on stand-by and the other surgeons who can.

Naveen comes back from his office. You lead him to the site, filling him in.

“Everything’s prepped, Dr. Emery. Can we start?”

“I’ve got most doctors on stand-by and two ICU beds prepped. Let me call them first, it’ll be better with a communication source.” He nods.

Ethan’s PoV:-

A tune cuts through the eerie silence. You accept the call.

“Any progress, Harper?”

“It’s me, my boy.” Your eyes sweat as you hear your mentor’s cracking voice.

“Naveen?”

“Yes, don’t worry, we’ve almost gotten past the securit for the elevator. Now we’ll just need to pry open the doors. You both might be slightly jerked so be careful.”

“Alright. Do it fast. She’s going to need an oxygen mask any minute.” You hold Arielle’s body closer to yours as the elevator slightly jerks. The doors are finally starting to open, the heads of Naveen, Harper and Arielle’s friends clearly visible. They gasp as their eyes spot the blood.

“Thank god. Just a little bit more, we should be able to pull them out.” Just then, you feel a hand hit your chest. Your eyes widen as it dawns on you.

“She’s having a seizure… but why?...” You quickly check her for symptoms of an ruptured blood vessel, it matches.

“Damnit! She’s having a seizure! Get me an IV injection with Activase!” You pull her even closer, holding her body. A nurse climbs up on a ladder and hands you the syringe. You swiftly inject it into her arm, your own pulse finally normalises as her petite body stops jerking, The paramedics step up and help Arielle out of the lift. She’s placed on a bed, quickly wheeled away with Harper, Bryce and more specialists in tow. Rafael helps you slide out of the small space when you realise you’ve hurt your shoulder. He notices you wincing.

“Dr. Varma, do a full checkup on Dr. Ramsey.”

“I’m fine, which OR is Arielle in? I’m scrubbing in.”, you say not bothering to use her title. You quickly get up when Naveen stops you.

“That’s the last thing you’ll be doing. Dr. Varma and Dr. Trinh will be examining you, and then you will wait like everyone else.”

“But-“

“Nothing.”, Naveen cuts you off as you wince once again. You slump in defeat as the two doctors wheel you away.

They help you sit up on an examination bed, and remove your bloodied shirt. You can see them wincing as they see the amount of blood stained. The pair doesn’t say anything as they quietly check your vitals, examine you and dress your shoulder.

“I’m assuming both of you are quite angry.”, you say not knowing what to do.

“Quite angry?! Let me tell you we’re fucking furious”-

“Jackie!”

“What?! Because of him, she almost died, Sienna! Died, do you hear me?!” You wince. “She almost died because of you! Don’t you understand?!”, she shouts jabbing a finger in your chest. “Because of your damn ethics and morals, she ALMOST DIED.” Tears glisten in her eyes.

“Do you even know how hard it was for her? Every. Single. Time when you pushed her away? Do you know how much she cried, sobbed when you ran away like a damn coward?! She was heart-broken, barely ate or slept peacefully and turned into someone else. We would all find her crying in supply closets, on-call rooms, you name it! God, she loved you so much and you, YOU”-

“Jackie, stop! That’s enough!”, the petite resident shouts, pain etched on her face.

“Do you even love her? Because she’s irrevocably in love with you and she says that you might too someday. If not, then she'll be an idiot. But do one thing, tell her fucking EXACTLY what you feel. Don’t say some half-assed sentences then go back to your stone cold self again. Tell her what she means to you, even if it was just a fucking casual hookup.”

“She was never-“

“Save it for her.” Jackie storms off.

You both stand there in silence, knowing that every word the fiery resident said was undeniably true.

“...I really fucked up, didn’t I?” The look on her face says it all. “Lord...I never meant for this to happen-“

“We all know you didn’t, Jackie’s mad, that’s all. But even if what she said was harsh, it’s true. You know how badly she’s been suffering, and I can’t watch anymore. You need to make a decision.” You watch the resident fight back a tidal wave of emotions as she replies coldly, completely unlike herself.

“I’ve dressed the wound, get someone to change it after a few hours and don’t do it yourself.” She turns around to leave, not able to look at you.

“Sienna.” Her breath hitches as she turns around. Her wall collapses, the wave of bottled-up emotions finally being freed.

“She- She almost d-died. It’s- not fair. She doesn’t deserve this, she doesn’t deserve any of this! It’s not fair, nothing’s fair! She can’t just come into our lives and just completely leave us like that! It’s not fair, it’s just not fair!”

You put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, knowing it’s the least you can do. But what you don’t expect is for her to throw her arms around you. You return the favor, both of you stay there in utter silence, not daring to speak.

Harper’s PoV:-

“Go take a break, Bryce. You’ve been on-call from last night.” You enter to see Bryce with one eye open, multiple textbooks propped up.

“I will, once I-“

“Once I nothing. You’re taking a break or else I’ll have you excluded from surgeries the whole week. We’ll update you if there’s any change in Arielle’s condition.”

He sighs, running a hand over his face. You can sense the worry.

“Bryce, Arielle went through brain surgery. You very well know all the possibilities that can take place. No matter what you do, nothing can change the outcome.”

He’s even more dejected now. “What do you think?”, he asks you. You look at him.

“I mean do you think she’ll be alright?”

“Well as a doctor, I already told you, not to mention you already know. As someone who knows her personally….I think she’s going to be alright. She’s a strong woman and she’ll pull through.”, you respond. He looks up meeting your eyes, his own eyes betraying the slightest amount of hope. He nods in an act of thanks before leaving the room. You follow him in pursuit to find Ethan. After inquiring about them to a few staff members, you find him and Dr. Trinh in the residents’ lounge.

“Ethan.” They whip around hearing your voice. Ethan opens his mouth to speak but he’s too slow.

“Dr. Emery! Is everything alright?! Did something happen? Why did she have a seizure?! Dr. Ramsey said that-“ The young resident rushes forward bombarding you with question after question.

“Sienna, calm down. Let her speak.” She finally notices she’s been rambling and smiles sheepishly.

“Oh, um... sorry Dr. Emery.”

“It’s alright. But to answer your questions, Arielle had a blood vessel rupture in her brain like Ethan said, which was most likely caused by hitting her head. That caused her brain to be deprived of blood, and the seizure. That caused an acute subdural hematoma. Luckily, the blood vessel only burst just before we got her into surgery so there wasn’t any permanent brain damage. The blood vessel was also repaired perfectly, courtesy of Dr. Lahela. The seizure was caused due to the pressure in her brain.” They nod solemnly.

“She was in a lot of pain, barely able to speak.”, Ethan responds, wincing as he relieves the memory.

“Her body was exhausted from the trauma, also most of her ribs are bruised. We did more scans to rule out other diagnoses, so far she’s clear.”

“Thank you, Harper.”

You nod. “Now both of you take some rest and meet me later. I have Dr. Varma and Dr. Greene strictly monitoring her, not to mention Naveen hovering over her.”

“I’ll just check on her and then I’ll go rest.” You sigh, knowing that you’ll lose this battle.

“Fine, Ethan. Only five minutes, then you’re going back to bed. Or else I’ll have you on bed rest for the whole week. Dr. Trinh, make sure he actually goes back to bed will you?” She smiles lightly, nodding.

Sienna’s PoV:

You stand at the entrance of Arielle’s room, as Ethan hesitates to go in. You lead him inside, both of you softly gasping at the sight. Multiple IV’s hooked up to her, her body wrapped in several casts, not to mention her head. Her usually glowing skin now lightly pale.

“Ethan!” Naveen spots him and wraps him in a tight hug, carefully of his shoulder. Jackie and Elijah are nowhere to be found.

“Ah, Dr. Trinh. How are you doing?” He unexpectedly wraps you up in one too. ”I’m...okay I guess.” He nods understandably.

“I sent Dr. Greene and Dr. Varma on a break. They looked tired and then they told me that they both were on the night shift.”

“I’ll catch up with them later. How’s she doing?” Naveen looks back, looking at her now completely unrecognisable body.

“Considering what she’s gone through, she’s doing alright. Only time will tell.” Ethan only stands there, still as a statue, staring at her. Naveen follows your gaze.

“Ethan, do you want some privacy?” He doesn’t look at him, only shakes his head.

“Alright then.”

“Dr. Ramsey, let’s go back. You need to rest.” You lead him back to his room, worries about both of them filling your mind to the brim.

Ethan’s PoV:-

Sometime later, you’re lying in bed unable to fall asleep. You decide to pay a visit to Arielle, and slowly walk to her room making sure no one sees you.

Entering her room, you see that the bed’s empty. Your mind races for an explanation when you spot her in the corner of the room. You rush over to her, pulling her in for a hug.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re alright…. Do you know how worried I was?” You pull back when you don’t hear a response. But you only see a sheepish smile on her face.

“Oh...well I didn’t know that doctors cared this much about the well-being of their patients. I must have gave you quite a scare if you’re this happy I’m okay”, she responds with a laugh.

“Don’t joke around, Arielle. You’re acting like you barely know me.”, you respond.

”Well that’s the case!”, she laughs. You look at her sternly.

“Oh, I’m extremely sorry but I really don’t remember meeting you. Was it at one of the medical conventions perhaps? My brain is foggy, and I don’t remember much of how I even got here.” Your eyes widen at her words.

“This can’t be true right? She’s obviously just deflecting about what happened before.”, your mind says. “Arielle, this isn’t the time to be joking around. Hours ago, you told me you love me and now you’re acting like you don’t know me.” With that she erupts into laughter.

“I’m sorry doctor, but I think you’ve hit your head. Besides, how can I even say that to someone I don’t even know.”, she says with a clueless smile.

“That can’t be true….this can’t be true. There’s no way...” But deep inside, you know that one of the factors is memory loss.

“No, no, no! Stop lying to me!”, you shout.

“Okay, now you’re freaking me out. Hello?! Is someone else here?”, she calls out.

“Arielle, stop. Don’t do this to me, I know I’ve hurt you innumerable times and I’m sorry but this isn’t fair.” She ignores you and keeps calling for someone else.

“Arielle, listen! You need to stop. Think! Try to remember!”, you shout.

“Let go of my hand! I’m sorry but I don’t know what to say. I’ve never met you in my entire life and you just can’t expect me to believe you!”, she shouts back. Her words are impossible to digest.

“What’s going on here?!”, Harper enters the room with a few more doctors in tow, shouting.

“Oh finally! This doctor here claims that he knows me when I haven’t even met him!” Her head whips around meeting your eyes.

“Ethan, we’ll talk later.” Just then, Arielle starts seizing again.

“Damnit! Nurse, administer another IV with tBa.”

The doctors crowd over her, attempting to stop her seizures as you stay there.

You stand there as your life crumbles before your eyes. The only person who’s out ever gave a damn about, the only person who truly understood you, got to know you, cared about you… now doesn’t even know your name.

And you know that it’s all your fault.

=======================================

Author’s Note:- Okay, I know y’all are probably livid and extremely angry at me but I’m sorry?! Part 3 will be out sometime soon... Bye for now!

Ask box Taglist:- @aylaramseycarrera

@openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

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Love,

@drariellevalentine

#open heart #playchoices #ethanjonahramsey #ohsy #ethan x mc #thank you for never getting tired of them #from the bottom of my heart #open heart fanfic #diyaa writes #queenmalinocent #ethan ramsey #dr ethan jonah ramsey

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vindicatedvirgil · 4 years

Text

soulmate september / day ten: birthmark

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Day Ten: You are born with a birthmark, similar to a tattoo, that is shared by your soulmate.

Summary: Virgil’s fairly certain that he’ll never meet his soulmate. But when his also soulmate-less bestie Patton finally finds his other half, Virgil is suddenly that much closer to finding his own destiny.

Ship: Dukexiety (Remus x Virgil)

word count: 878

CW: Remus is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Background Royality.

@tsshipmonth2020

---

Virgil didn’t like to look at the birthmark on his wrist; it was a reminder of what he didn’t yet have and was thoroughly convinced that he’d never get to experience. He was about to turn 30 and had yet to meet the person with a matching birthmark. Maybe they’d died as a teen, maybe they were from a different country. Regardless, as Virgil watched his best friends find their soulmates and get married and begin their lives together, he receded farther into himself, wearing long sleeves or applying concealer to mask the mark on his wrist.

One night on his way home from work, he stopped into a bar to meet with Patton, who also hadn’t met his soulmate. Except when Virgil neared their usual booth, Patton was sitting next to a man who vaguely resembled a famous actor. Virgil slid into his spot, waiting for Patton’s explanation.

“I met my soulmate, Virge!” He exclaimed happily, leaning his head on the man’s shoulder. “This is Roman Prince.” Virgil blinked.

“The Roman Prince?” He asked, staring at the man. Roman shrugged, holding out his hand. Virgil shook it once. “How did… you find each other?”

“I was watching an interview with Roman and noticed his birthmark, so I reached out to his agent, sending a picture of my own. He called the next day,” Patton reminisced, eyes sparkling with happiness. Virgil smiled weakly.

“I’m so happy for you, Pat. You deserve this,” he said, and Patton reached his hand out gently to rub Virgil’s arm.

“You’ll find your soulmate someday, Virge. I know it,” he said comfortingly, and Virgil just nodded.

“It takes some time for people. My twin hasn’t met their soulmate yet either. They sometimes want to get the thing surgically removed, but no surgeon will do it. They’re really tired of looking at the octopus,” Roman said, which made Virgil’s eyes snap up to meet his.

“What?” Virgil’s voice squeaked out, and Roman raised an eyebrow at him. “An octopus?” He was tempted to pull the sleeve of his favorite hoodie up, but it had to be a coincidence. There could be no logical explanation to this, at least not in Virgil’s mind. Roman’s eyes focused on the spot where Virgil toyed with the edge of his sleeves.

“It looks part octopus, part storm cloud. An odd thing, really,” he said. “I think I have a photo of it if you want to see it…” Virgil wanted to scream and say no and run out of the bar and never look back. But he knew that he needed to see this. He needed to know. So he nodded, and Roman pulled his phone out of his pocket, and opened up a photo.

It was of a person with curly brown hair that had a gray streak in the bangs, a mustache, and an… interesting outfit of a black leather jacket, army green crop top, and a leather skirt, with fishnet stockings and combat boots. The sleeves of their jacket were rolled up, and there, on their wrist, was a birthmark matching the one that Virgil had memorized at the age of four.

“Where are they right now?” Virgil breathed out, and a look of excitement covered both Roman and Patton’s features.

“They’re at the hotel a few blocks over, I’ll call them to come here.”

“Don’t tell them why. Not yet.”

And then Virgil was sitting beside Remus, who was dressed similarly to how they were in the photo, except their curly hair was pulled into a bun and they were wearing a purple crop top under their leather jacket.

“Didn’t wanna be a third wheel, eh?” They smirked, bringing their mug of beer to their lips. “I’ve been a third wheel in that hotel room with those two. It’s like they’ve been virgins their whole lives, waiting for each other.”

“You haven’t waited for your soulmate?” Patton squeaked out, his hand holding Roman’s tightly. He exchanged a nervous glance with Virgil, who shrugged.

“I have, but I don’t think I’ll be that way with my soulmate. Unless they’re someone really hot,” Remus responded. “So, Virgil, you haven’t met your soulmate yet either, huh?”

“Uh, no. I don’t think so,” Virgil toyed with the sleeve of his hoodie, then pulled it up to his elbow. Remus’ jaw dropped and they grabbed Virgil’s wrist, inspecting it. “Or maybe I have.”

“Oh my god, it’s you,” Remus’ voice was quieter than it had been before, and they slid the sleeve of their jacket up, too. “You’re my soulmate.”

“I guess so,” Virgil shrugged, but he smiled faintly, meeting Remus’ bright green eyes. “I’m glad that no one would surgically remove it for you.” Remus glared at Roman but smiled, scooting closer to Virgil.

“Can I kiss you?” Remus whispered, and Virgil only nodded, feeling smooth fingers grab his chin, a pair of chapped lips meeting his own, as if both of them had imagined this moment for their whole lives. It was perfect.

When Virgil celebrated his 30th birthday a few months later, he no longer had fears about the rest of his life. He had his soulmate, and if he had to wait another thirty years to find Remus, he would have been glad to wait.

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sennextheassasinkingoflight · 3 years

Text

"I'll Always Stay"

Witcher fic. Pre slash Geraskier fic. Rated T and up for minor swearing, blood and gore.

Cross posted on AO3

Geralt and Jaskier get into a fight. Geralt gets injured. Jaskier takes care of him. (Fae Jaskier.)

(Still figuring out read more links on mobile. Help!)

It wasn't as though he had never seen Geralt injured; or that he had never stitched torn and bloodied flesh back together, while the witcher sat brooding beside him; or like he hadn't learned all the witchers potions, how to make them, what they do, how and when they should be administered. But this. This was different.

Geralt was unconscious on the ground beside him. He was without armor, and based on the the amount of blood covering pale skin he wasn't sure that he'd even been wearing it when he was attacked. He'd had it when he'd stormed out of camp with a growled,

"Fuck off."

The witcher had not gone on a hunt. No, that would have been good. Would have settled Jaskiers heart, if only a little. No, instead he had stalked off into the moonless night because they were fighting and he was done with Jaskier and the conversation. When he hadn't returned by midnight Jaskiers unease grew, blossoming dread in his chest and reaching out with tendrils, spreading to Roach and filling the clearing of their campsite. Setting his jaw and recognizing he was being reckless and quiet foolhardy he started into the darkness. Concern squeezed at his heart and weighed like lead in his chest. The darkness was consuming.

He was blind in the darkness and it was by sheer luck alone that he found the witcher at all. Or so, he would say. Now he wishes he was closer to camp and that he had brought more than a single vile of Swallow. He glances around the blackened clearing and though his eyes had adjusted a little he can't see anything now. He's far to close to continue using his magic. Blindly he gropes for one of Geralts swords, anything, fear prickling his skin, raising the hair on his neck and arms. If Geralt had been rendered unconscious and bloody than it would be in Jaskiers best sense to run back to camp and stay there.

With one of the witchers too heavy sword, slick with blood in his hands, he knelt over his friend and listened for too slow breathes, feeling for a too slow pulse. Watching the barely there rise and fall of a bruised and bloodied chest. When he found it he foracably swallowed back his panic, thrusting it from his mind. With shaking hands Jaskier lifted a white clad head into his lap, hair more pink than white. Finally he pulled the vial of Swallow from his pocket and slowly tipped it into an unresponsive mouth. He brushed his fingers down Geralts throat, coaxing it into contracting and swallowing the potion. It was a slow process.

A few moments later, Jaskier huffs out a small sigh of relief. Geralt is breathing easier, if only just. There is no way to get the witcher back to camp and it's too dark to see the full extent of injuries, or find his other sword, and let's not forget the creature that was lurking somewhere in the shadows. Without thinking about it he let his magic sleep out around him. That would keep whatever it was away. He swallowed, it was a calculated risk. And perhaps Geralt would be to out of it to notice it in the morning.

He'd spent so long with humans he'd nearly forgot he had it. Still he dare not use it on Geralt unless there was no other option. That the witcher would notice immediately. So instead he whispers, "I'm sorry."

Sorry he can't use his very nature to save his friends life. Maybe one day. Sorry for the things he had said. Sorry that Geralt had been injured. Sorry for everything he'd done that annoyed, hurt, or angered the witcher.

While he waited for the sun to rise, he ran delicate musicians fingers through coarse, sticky hair. Guilt resting around him like a cloak. As the grey light of dawn rose he felt like an idiot forgetting he could have used his magic to take stock of Geralts injuries at the least, he'd already let it lay lazily around the forest floor. Panic had made him fuzzy. Though that too would have been a very calculated risk. If Geralt found out. Well…. Jaskier quiet liked his life as it was.

The wounds were healing, slowly. Witchers mutations and potion at work. But it wasn't fast enough, congealed red blood oozed from the wounds, even now. hours later. Jaskiers fears to think what would have been if he had waited for the light to go looking. Slowly as not to strain or startle the still unconscious witcher he extricated himself. He hated what he was about to do but it was necessary. He moved quickly, quicker than this form should have moved. He returned to and broke camp quickly and Roach followed him with a soft neigh.

He turns to her and whispers softly.

"Don't tell him please." He holds eye contact with her until she snorts into his shoulder. This really shouldn't be a concern right now. But it is.

When he returned to Geralts side he collected his silver sword, gingerly, and placed it with the steel. He gathered up shredded armor, and for all his vast knowledge of magical creatures, more than he let's on, he has no idea what did this. He swallowed harshly. This was not good.

He built a fire and set water to boil. Doing things the mortal way was not his favorite thing. He notes absently that their supplies are running low. He gathers another bottle of Swallow and again coaxes it down Geralts throat. Finished he set about creating a salve or potion. Anything that would help his friend. With the water ready he set about washing away the blood and dirt from the front of Geralts torso. He couldn't reach his back and hoped it wasn't as bad. Although the fact that the injuries were this severe on his stomach was disheartening and highly concerning.

Really he hadn't meant to make him angry. But he had been cold, wet, hungry and they had been traveling for 3 days straight stopping only for a few hours of sleep. Not a problem if he wasn't hiding what he is from the witcher, remarkably well at that. And Geralt hadn't told him anything. Hadn't said where the were going, what they were doing. And he'd known the moment the words left his mouth, he'd known he had completely and irrevocably fucked up. So he'd spent the next five hours apologizing profusely for his mistake. Saying that he hadn't meant it he'd only been angry. It wasn't true. It was never true. The witcher had decided to set camp and then stormed off into the dark effectively ending the conversation. Uncertain what to do he had tended Roach and the fire. He hadn't even attempted to compose. Then he'd just listened in silence and darkness for Geralt to return thinking about how to make it right.

Now he was sitting on his knees in the dirt beside his wounded friend who could very well die. He told himself to stop thinking like that.he'd give himself away before he actually let Geralt die.

He continued peeling back torn remnants of clothing, soaking bits that were stubbornly stuck and then removing them completely. He washed as he went removing dirt and congealed blood with water then antiseptic. He knows it has to sting a ridiculous amount and is grateful the witcher is still unconscious.

The cuts are deep. The flesh is torn and ragged like it had been ripped from bone; the cuts were not clean and sliced. They are deep and he pulls back flesh to make sure its clean. Infection has likely already begun to set in. Once he's satisfied that the wounds are as clean as they can be he sets to work stitching the flesh.

It isn't pretty work. And his stitches, though practiced, are not beautiful against ashen skin. They're uneven and some are a little tight others a little loose. But he's a bard. He is not a surgeon or a seamster. Still it's work that needs to be done so he bites his lip and let's hands accustomed to playing strings guide one through muscle and skin.

He swallows down bile. Guilt returning as the stitched wounds continue to ooze blood. If only he hadn't riled him up, hadn't let him stalk off into the darkness of night, angry and alone.

He continues to work with nimble fingers on the skin he can see. At some point he lost track of how many stitches he had run. Finished with the visible portion of Geralts torso he smears a thick salve across it. He can't bandage it now. He has to wait for the witcher to sit up. And he prays to every deity he can think of that he isn't badly injured on his back. He clenches his teeth, bounces his leg, and let his eyes roam over Geralts prone form. "Wake up" he thinks desperate with nervousness. Tears work their way towards his eyes, his throat constricting painfully.

"Geralt please. I know. I was unkind. I didn't mean it. Truly. I swear it just slipped out. It was a low blow and I knew it would get a reaction. But I didn't mean it. I swear. I am so sorry. Please. Please don't die here Geralt. Don't die. Not yet. Not like this." He whispers leaning back against the tree head titled back silent tears streaking his face. He closes his eyes. He tells himself if there's no improvement by that night, he'll use his magic and hope against all odds the witcher doesn't send him away.

Until Geralt woke up there was nothing more he could do. He keeps his eyes closed but doesn't sleep. Ears turned to the sound of breathing beside him. Time passes and the sun rises high overhead. A low groan pulls him from his heartache.

"Geralt?" He pitches forward from the tree and scrambles to push the witcher back down.

" Geralt! Stop. Dont sit up your injured. Badly." He frowns. The witcher lays back obediantly. Tired eyes scanning his surroundings. He nods and seems to relax. And the dread in the pit of Jaskiers stomach dissipates.

" I tended the injuries I could find." He starts quiet, just barely a whisper and then more confidently. " I'm sorry Geralt. Really. I- I am so sorry." He gets a grunt and the two stare at each other for a while. Geralts features hard, but he must see something in Jaskier that tells him undoubtedly that these words are true, because his brow unpinches and his jaw relaxes. The witcher let's out a long sigh. Then pushes himself up into a sitting position. and Jaskier goes from concerned his friend won't forgive him to concerned his friend is going to run off and never come back and die alone in the woods to hes not moving but now I can see his back, oh God I can see his bakc in the span of a single breath.

"Your wounds are serious! Geralt you really shouldn't --"

" Stop, Jaskier. There's a--"

"Oh yes indeed. Stay put. I'll just grab the supplies." So he gathers up a fresh rag and the water he's kept warm and the salve and bandages. The needle and threading. Finally he settles himself behind Geralt and neither speaks. He hears the witcher inhale against the sting of the antiseptic.

"Two vials of Swallow. One when I found you. One 6 hours later, when I could see to get back to camp." He says dutifully, never looking away from his work. These arn't nearly as bad as the others. He works quickly so he can properly bandage the mess.

"Hand me the bandages." He says pulling the last stitch tight. And Geralt let's out a pained grunt as he reaches for them. Jaskier doesn't hesitate to begin winding them around the witchers torso. Arms bracketing the larger man far to intimately in the process. He pulls them just tightly enough, with well and overly practiced ease. He hesitates, then he moves back to Geralts side.

He doesn't speak, just breathes. He's said his peace. He doesn't flinch under Geralts scrutiny as the man continues to look at him.

"Your eyes seem bluer."

"Crying." He says after a moment of silent panic.

"Hmm…. I'm sorry too."

And he actually chokes on his own spit. What? He looks at Geralt and stretches a hand out to touch his forehead but the witcher holds eye contact.

"Well then. I guess were squared away now?"

A nod. "I'm tired Jaskier." The witcher says eyes soft and unfocused as he reaches out a hand to brush fingers against the bards flushed cheek.

"Then sleep, Geralt. I'll stay."

"I'll always stay."

#the witcherr #Geraskier #hurt comfort #mostly hurt #fae jaskier #major character injury #everyone lives

41 notes · View notes

eleanorbloom · 4 years

Text

When You’re Ready Ch. 10

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 5.3k (Sorry!!!)

Warning: Innuendos at the beginning, then, just angst and a bit of cursing.

A/N: Yes, I’m sorry. Today’s chapter is the longest I’ve done so far, but it’s worth it (at least to me) because is about my babyyyy. Things are going to get harder from now on, so I’m excited for the upcoming chapters!! I hope you enjoy the angst because there’s more to come. Hehe.

A/N2: I’m gonna post some One Shots for Kinktober, so I was wondering if anyone wants to be tagged? It will be BrycexEleanor and DrakexMC from The Royal Romance. I’ve never published anything for TRR but I’m planning to write something in the future. Meanwhile, I’ll exercise with some smut muahaha. So let me know if you wanna be tagged 😏

Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @aylamreads @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @angela8756

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Chapter 10: Stay.

Funny you’re the broken one

But I’m the only one who needed saving.

“Is that Raf?”—Eleanor raised her head from Bryce’s chest and stared at the ceiling, trying to prick up her ear.

At the distance, it was heard a deep voice in the middle of a mix of laughter.

“Yeah, that’s totally him.”

“What is he doing here so early?”

“Early?”—He chuckled—"It’s midday, babe.”

“Midday?!”—She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked. It was 12.10.—"And how we slept through all morning?”

“We stayed up late, don’t you remember? I think we got here like 3 am and then you just couldn’t shut up about how mad you were because Ramsey is being irrational about the influencer girl.”

“Oh, right. Drunken rant.”—Her cheeks blushed—“I’m sorry”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For making you hear all this crap when probably I ranted all night at Donahue’s about it.”

“Actually, you were just pissed off that Ramsey was mad at you, but when we got here you said the real stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like you think that Ramsey is suspecting about your relationship with me and he’s taking it on you. He’s mad because you went behind his back with the Gwyneth thing, obviously, but he has contained his rage for weeks, and now he’s just… exploding.”

“Oh, fuck, you’re right, I did say that—She covered her face with both hands—"God, I’m so stupid.”

“Why? I think you’re right. He’s been acting like an ass with me this whole time too, he looks at me like I’m a piece of garbage or something.”

“But it’s really unprofessional that he is taking a work issue to an extreme just because he is what? Jealous? Mad that I’m getting over him? It’s very inconsistent of him.”

“Yes, it is. Are you going to do something about it?”

“Like what?”

“Like talk to him, tell him to stop,, that he shouldn’t take it on you at work just because he’s jealous.”

“I… I don’t know, I wouldn’t like to mix things, maybe I’m wrong.”

“You’re not wrong, Elle. You can’t let him be this ass with you, much less affect your work.”

Bryce saw how her head inside was spinning around, and her hands tensed over his rib cage.

“Just think about it.”—He added, stroking her hair comfortingly—"Don’t think for a second this is your fault, ‘cause it’s not. He made his choice in the first place.”

“I know…”

Eleanor leaned on her elbow to look at him in the eyes, smiling faintly at him.

“Thank you for being so understanding”

Bryce smiled back and then caressed her cheek while his eyes were expressing tenderness and protection.

She nuzzled into his soft chest losing herself into the sweet scent from his neck.

“Let’s focus on something less stressing and boring instead”—She whispered, lovingly.

“Like what?”—He asked tantalizingly roaming his hands through her back.

“Like the fact that I’m finally waking up with you.”

“Aw, you woke up really sugary today, uh?”

“Don’t you like it?”—She asked seriously.

“I have sweet tooth just because of you.”

“Awwww”—Eleanor encircled her arms around his neck pulling him down to her lips.—“You’re saying I’m sugary, but you just gave me a diabetic coma.”

“And I am having constipation ‘cause you, Eleanor Bloom, are being too cheesy.”

She burst out laughing, resonating in the whole apartment.

“Bryce! You’re impossible.”

“And you are impopsicle, babe.”—Before she could retort anything, he caught her lips into his, his hands travelling slowly down her bum. He deepened the kiss the moment she opened her mouth in a sigh.

“Do we have time for a quickie before getting ready for the concert?”

“Is it me or you’re doubting about your timing skills?”

“No, I’m just asking for consent.”

“We are wasting precious seconds, Dr. Lahela.”

Both chuckled before Eleanor pushed him against the bed and climbed on top of him, the sheets falling and pooling behind her, exposing her bare body.

“Sweet, sweet cowgirl ride me till the end of the world if you want”

Eleanor laughed hard again.

“Yeehaw!”—She joked between laughs.

This time it took like two minutes to make her stop. It would have been more if it weren’t for Bryce, who replaced her laughs for other more improper exclamations that soon had to be hushed too.

By the time Bryce and Eleanor appeared in the living room, all their friends were ready for the Music Festival Eleanor had invited them, courtesy of her patient, Gwyneth Monroe. After a quick chat, they all headed to Cambridge, excited for the new adventure.

The group spent the afternoon eating, drinking, playing lawn games and, of course, enjoying the music. At some point, they split when Eleanor, Kyra, and Aurora decided to see an art exposition while Bryce, Elijah, and Jackie joined Sienna to see an indie band she had been fangirling all afternoon.

Once the group met again, an hour later, it didn’t take long for Bryce and Eleanor to get lost in the crowd, enjoying the music while savoring the moment alone in the open air.

The sun was about to set when Bryce felt his phone buzzing. As he pulled it out of his pocket the letters froze him. He ended the call and saw 10 missing calls and a lot of messages in the notification bar.

“Bryce, where are you?”

“I’m outside your apartment.”

“Bryce, please answer me! Are you at work?”

Eleanor stared at him worried, sensing his nervousness.

“Is everything alright?”

“I… I have to go.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Nothing, I just remembered tomorrow I have a really difficult surgery and I need to study up.”

“Okay.”—Her brows knitted, suspicious.

He kissed her quickly and turned to leave, but she caught his wrist before he could get lost in the crowd.

“Bryce!”

“What?”—He replied, trying to hide the fear that was invading him just right.

“If something wrong you can tell me, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled faintly and gave her one last kiss before walking out of the crowd.

He didn’t know how he reached the parking lot and got in the car, his hands were trembling and a knot of anxious had settled in his stomach. He pulled the phone out and called back.

“Bryce!”—He heard on the other end of the line—"God, I’ve been trying to reach you for hours, where are you?!”

“Keiki, what’s going on? How is that that you’re in Boston?”

“I’ll explain later, are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in forty.”

“Hurry up, I’m bored to death here.”

When he got to his floor, she found a tall girl in a red leather jacket sitting against his door, a backpack between her legs. He barely recognized her, even if he had seen dozens of pictures of her on her social networks. She was a teenager now, not the little girl that said goodbye to him with tears in her eyes when he left for college.

“Keiki”

“Bryce”—She said getting up from the floor. He opened the door a few moments later and both got in.

“Can you explain to me now what you are doing here?”

“Hey, bro, I’m glad to see you too.”—She ironized—“Thanks for the kind welcoming.”

“Keiki, please.”

“I ran away from home, okay?”

“You what?”

“I don’t wanna live there anymore.”

“Keiki, you can’t do that”

“Why not? You did it.”

“I went for college…”—He replied, feeling the guilt sharpening inside him.

“Yes, and then you never came back because you couldn’t stand our parents. It’s the same with me.”

“That doesn’t excuse that you escaped from home and underage. Do you have a plan? Or you’ll just wait until they come here to take you back and maybe they will report me for child kidnap?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bryce. They wouldn’t that.”

“Still this isn’t right, Keiki. It could’ve happened something to you on your way here.”

“Yeah, but it would have been worth it if it means not spend another second in Maui.”

Bryce looked at her, intrigued. He couldn’t understand how things were bad for her if she had everything she wanted back in Hawai. A room the size of his apartment, all the clothes she wanted, and millions of things to do. But that was enough? He knew well it wasn’t.

“Can I stay with you?”

“Of course, Keiki, but you’ll go back tomorrow. Call mom to know if she can buy you a ticket flight back, I’m not sure I have the money for that.”

“Don’t you understand? I’m not coming back there, Bryce. Period.”

He shook his head and sighed. It was impossible to reason with her, and he knew it wouldn’t get anything by pushing her even more.

“Call her to let her know you’re here, then.”

“I bet she already knows.”

She seated on the couch, looking at him defiantly. He just ignored her act.

“Have you eaten something?”

“Some Doritos I bought around the corner.”

“What do you want to eat? I’m calling a delivery.”

“You don’t cook? I want real food, Bryce.”

“I’m a surgeon, not a chef, Keiki”

“Either way, you should know how to feed yourself by now, how you have survived all these years?”

“Take out.”

“Unbelievable”

Bryce didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could just watch a video on Youtube and cook something basic to save the day. Eleanor’s face popped in his mind, but he shook off the idea as soon as it emerged. Calling her would implicate to tell her the truth about his family and he wasn’t ready for that.

“Okay.”—He said after some deliberation—"I’ll go to the grocery store, so you have food for breakfast tomorrow and all that. Do you wanna go with me?”

“Nah, I’m tired, I think I’m gonna lay down a bit.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a bit.”

The moment he was out of the apartment, Bryce rubbed his hand across his face in exasperation. He didn’t know what to do, how to deal with his sister, and with the mistake he had been making all those years.

He always knew he shouldn’t have left her sister just like he did; never go back to Maui; call her just once in a while to finally only for her birthday. The guilt that has been accompanying him for ten years was materializing now in one of his worst fears: face his sister and deal with the consequences of his abandonment, the rage and the loneliness she might be feeling, all without prior notice.

He tried to clear his mind. At that moment he needed to stay calm to give Keiki the stability she had come to look for with him. He was the adult there, so he couldn’t let the feelings overwhelm him and make Keiki feel worse than she already was.

Once he regained calmness, Bryce made his way to the grocery store where he collected all the ingredients for a spaghetti recipe he read on the internet, plus some vegetables, fruits, bread, butter, bacon, eggs, cookies, Doritos, so Keiki would have something to have breakfast and eat while she was at his place.

When the doors of the elevator opened again on his floor, she found the silhouette of a woman with a black and golden dress on, talking to Keiki. He froze for a moment until both directed to him.

“Elle”

“Hi Bryce”—She looked at him surprised, while Keiki just eyed them, leaning in the door frame, arms crossed.—“What’s happening?”

“Let’s get inside and talk, okay?”

Keiki moved backwars to let Bryce and Eleanor in. He went straight to the kitchen and set the bags over the counter meticulously, like trying to gain some time before facing her. After a few moments, Bryce turned to Eleanor.

“Elle, this is my sister Keiki. She arrived today from Maui. She’s visiting.”

“Like hell. I told you I’m not planning to go back there, Bryce.”—She barked while she was flopping on the couch with the remote control in her hand.

“Hi Keiki, I’m Eleanor, nice to meet you”—She replied, giving a smile, even if she wasn’t looking at her.

“Yeah”—The girl just said, her eyes not moving from the TV.

Bryce just sighed, making evident his frustration. Eleanor looked at him worried and then pulled him to the kitchen.

“Can you explain to me now what’s happening? Why your sister ran away from home? Hell, I didn’t even know you had a sister, Bryce.”

Even if he wasn’t ready to talk about it, Bryce knew it wasn’t fair Eleanor didn’t know he had a sister, while she had talked about her family countless times.

“Elle, I…”—Now another fear was materializing: telling the truth about his family to someone from Boston. To the woman he loved, no less.—“To make a long story short, my family was a big deal in Hawaii. When I was in high school my dad went to jail for insider trading, and my mom only got off by testifying against him even though she was right there helping him the whole time.”

Eleanor gazed thoughtfully at him until she realized.

“Oh my god, Bryce… Your parents are The Lahelas? As in property tycoons turned white collars criminals The Lahelas?”

“That’s my family, and Keiki lives with them back in Hawaii. Dad got paroled a while ago for good behavior.”

Bryce saw as she remained in silence, surprise in her eyes. He couldn’t help but wince, waiting for the disappointed look, the disgust, the judgment. But nothing of it came. She instead tried to understand why Keiki was running away from home, what could have triggered that. She tried to convince him that this was not a simple rebellion as he was thinking. There was no judgment in her eyes or words. She just focused on Keiki and how to help him to deal with her.

Once Bryce felt less tense, he asked Eleanor to help him with dinner, which she accepted gladly. Half an hour later, the three of them enjoyed a plate of pasta that felt tastier as it was a result of collaborative work.

Even if Keiki was hesitant to talk at first, the food put her in such a good mood that Eleanor got her to chat a bit with her, Bryce observing the exchange with admiration. From the answers, Eleanor could tell Keiki was a smart girl and mature for her age; she had a hot temper but the same self-assurance Bryce had, even the same smirks and looks.

“Thanks for dinner, Eleanor. .”—Keiki said before going to sleep.—"Good to know I won’t starve to death my first night here.”

“You’re welcome. It was nice to meet you, Keiki.”

She smiled at her and then got to the room.

Eleanor and Bryce stood in silence for a bit, none of then sure who had to speak first.

“Bryce, why you never told me? This is big.”—Eleanor finally said, standing in front of him, concerned.

“I know… I just…I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of you judging me.”

“Judge you? How could I judge you, Bryce?”

“Because it has always been like this. People know me and it’s okay at first, but then, when they know that I’m the son of a criminal, they assure me it’s okay but they never look at me the same, never treat me the same. They look at me like I’m about to do something, or like I’m a professional liar and I’m trying to cheat on them.”

“Bryce..”—She whispered, cupping his cheeks, her eyes full of sadness.

“I wanted to start from scratch here, no one knowing about my parents, no one judging me for that, just focusing on what I am, on how hard I worked to be at Edenbrook and be known for that.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”—She said as he took him in her arms, embracing him tightly.

They stayed in silence for a while.

“How could you ever think that I would judge you, that I would treat you like that? I would never, Bryce. Never.”

“I know but some part of me thought you would.”

“Now I understand why you always changed the topic when I asked you.”

He nodded.

“But now you know you can trust me, right? Whatever you need, I’ll have your back.”

“I know, but… it’s not that simple, Eleanor. Since high school, people have seen me as a disease the moment they know I’m a Lahela, so I’ve never had anyone to trust about what I felt or just tell…stuff… the stress, the sadness… the things friends share. I never needed anyone to deal with problems, I could do it on my own until… until I met you, but I’ve ignored the feeling because I don’t wanna hold on to you, I’m scared that you’ll go away and I’ll lose the one person I trusted.”

“Why would I go?”

“Because nothing’s settled between us. There’s still the possibility that you’ll go with Ramsey or simply break up with me because you don’t want me anymore.”

“Bryce, we’ve been together for two whole months, I’m not planning to go anywhere.”

“Yeah, that’s what you say now, but you still want our relationship to be a secret because you don’t want Ramsey to know and make it a reality, because some part of you don’t want it to be true.”

“How can you say that?”

“Don’t be hypocrite Eleanor, please. I’m not stupid.”—Bryce retorted, hurt. She had never seen him this serious and cold.

“It’s not like that. And I don’t get where you’re going with this.”

“My point is, Eleanor, that I want to trust you, I really do want to tell you what is happening inside my head, but I can’t if the one person I can trust maybe won’t be here with me in two months or in a year. It doesn’t work like that with me. I have to keep on my own as always.”

“Bryce, no matter what, I’ll always be here for you, even if things turn out different-”

“No, Eleanor”—He interrupted—“Please don’t do this. Don’t be this selfish, thinking that if we end up things, we could go back to what we were. If I hold on you, I don’t know how I’ll deal with losing you or be away from you while I heal.”

“Bryce… Don’t be afraid, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith…”

“Don’t you think I haven’t taken enough leaps, Eleanor? I showed my feelings for you, I told you I loved you even before we were dating. You’re the only person I’ve done that with, and yet there is always a possibility that you won’t feel the same ever. And what about you? Yeah, you took a leap when you started dating me, but you can’t take a leap in leaving Ramsey in the past, tell him the truth, scrub all over his face that you moved on, because your ego is terrified that you weren’t enough to heal him. So, don’t dare to tell me that I should take a leap.”

He turned around and sat on the couch, both hands over his hair.

Eleanor looked at him, seeing the real Bryce for the first time. The Bryce that feels in pain, angry, annoyed, frustrated. Vulnerable. Human. The side she had never seen in him and she always wanted to know.

She took a few steps towards him and squatted down to face him.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to push you —She murmured—”I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you need me, okay?”

“I know, but I don’t think I’m ready for this, Eleanor. This is too much, and I need to deal with this on my own, that’s how I know best.”

“I understand.—She said softly, while taking his hands on hers.

The moment he felt his touch, his eyes threatened with tears and a knot ached in his throat. He pulled away from her grip.

“I… uh… I need you to go, Eleanor. I want to be alone.”

“Of course”—She replied, standing up.

Once she collected her things she went to the door.

“Whatever you decide, just remember that I want the best for you, Bryce. I know we are in a complicated situation right now, but I’m doing my best to end this hell soon.”

And she left.

Bryce stood unmoved on the couch recounting the events of the past hours as the tears streamed down his face.

His biggest fears had occurred, and now he was feeling the incessant need of trusting Eleanor, tell her all the pain that was buried in his heart, but he just couldn’t. Just like his issues about his parents, he had been burying the thoughts about Eleanor not wanting to confront Ethan about their relationship. He knew she still loved him and couldn’t blame her for that, but it was hurting him more than he thought, and he had just ignored his feelings and not said anything to her because if he opened up to Eleanor, even for one single thing, it would be like to open the pandora box, and he wasn’t ready to let all go.

Things were difficult in the next days. Keiki was absolutely decided to stay with him, especially since his parents didn’t reach him or Keiki to make her come back to Maui, and he still didn’t know how to deal with Keiki, because at any try of conversation, they ended up fighting or she ignoring his tries to be friendly.

The frustration and guilty were getting bigger and bigger.

He didn’t speak to Eleanor, and barely spend time with the rest of his friends. He just locked in on himself, focusing on working hard, and go straight home to be with Keiki even if they didn’t say anything or just argued. She was alone all day so she needed some company, and he really wanted to understand her, bonding with her and be like they were before, o maybe not like before, but he wanted to be her brother again.

However, soon he realized that he had been too harsh with Eleanor. Even if she was still in love with Ethan and didn’t want to make it official, it was all within their agreement. And more importantly, she had always been very respectful of their relationship, because she had only eyes and time for Bryce, and even if she wasn’t ready to commit, to tell the truth to Ethan and stop loving him, she was all in the relationship with him. He was her priority, he sensed that. He knew it. Because she had been refusing any contact with Ethan since he was back. When Bryce assumed that Eleanor had kissed him the night she stayed at Donahue’s, the reality was different. And Ethan’s behavior the past weeks was proof of that. So, he felt bad for reacting that way. She didn’t deserve it when she only wanted to help.

Bryce was walking by the fourth floor, expecting to find Eleanor there, when he heard heated voices inside an empty room.

“This anger you have against me is about something else and I won’t allow it, Ethan.”

“What do you mean by ‘something else’?”

“Not work-related. You have been an ass to me for weeks, and whatever might be your reason, you’re being unprofessional and you’re exactly what you wanted to avoid.”

Then, absolute silence.

If Bryce was right, Eleanor was confronting Ethan about his behavior in the past weeks. She didn’t address the problem openly, but it was clearly a step he thought she wouldn’t take so soon.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”—She said when she ran into him, not cathing it was him at first.—"Bryce? Hi”

“Eleanor”—They stared in silence for a moment—"I was looking for you. What time does your shift end?”

Bryce saw the brief moment Ethan passed behind Eleanor, his face impassive and cold as steel, ignoring their existence completely.

“Half an hour, I’m doing my final round. Why?”

“I need to speak to you, meet me in the atrium as always?”

“Okay, yeah.”—Her cheeks flushed and couldn’t help but look at him with hope.

“See ya later, then.”

He waited in their usual spot and finally, fifteen minutes later, she appeared.

“I’m so sorry, I had to run new tests for a patient, and it took me ages.”

“Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re here.”

“So…”

“Let’s go to my car, we can talk there.”

“Okay.

Once both got in the car, they looked at each other until Bryce broke the silence.

“Elle, I want to apologize. I realized I was too unfair with you the other day. I know you were trying to help and I just took it on you, because I was frustrated with the situation and I didn’t know how to deal with it, let alone with another person offering help.”

“It’s okay, Bryce, it’s me who should apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”

“No, you were trying to help me, and I thank you for that. But I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that about Ramsey. You have been very respectful to our relationship, I want you to know that. I really appreciate it, babe. It’s just that sometimes this is… hard.”

“Bryce, listen, you were right, you don’t have to apologize for telling me the truth. I am afraid, and sadly I still have feelings for Ethan and I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt you either, so it’s all so complicated.”

“I know, Elle, I know, that’s why I shouldn’t have been so rude. By no means you have been unfair or mean to me. It’s just that this is getting a bit hard for me, that’s all, especially now that I’m dealing with something big in my life and I want to hold on to you… But I’m terrified to do so.”

Eleanor rested her hands over his.

“Look, I know I can’t promise you we will be together forever, but I want you to know that our relationship it’s the most important thing to me now, and I’ll do whatever I can to take care of us. We are still in this difficult process until things are clear inside my head, but right now I want to be here for you, I want to help you with your sister and with whatever you need. Just say the word, okay?”

He smiled thankfully and then nodded.

“Truce?”—She said, offering her hand.

“Truce”—He agreed, but instead of taking her hand, he kissed her sweetly in the lips.

Eleanor giggled against him.

“God, I missed you so much.”—He sighed, parting from her just a brief moment, to keep kissing her for another couple of seconds.

“Me too. These days have been a real nightmare without you. How are you dealing with Keiki?”

“Not so well, actually. That’s why I wanted to ask you if you would like to go home with me tonight. I haven’t been able to talk with Keiki, and if you there with me, maybe I’ll understand her better. I don’t wanna fight with her anymore.”

Eleanor smiled warmly at him.

“This means that you’re letting me in?”

Bryce had made his decision but couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

“Yes. I want you with me in all this, Elle.”

“You won’t regret it. I promise.”

When they get home a delicious smell invaded their nostrils. Keiki was in the kitchen apparently frying some beef.

“Hey Keiki”—They both greeted.

“Hey. Eleanor, I didn’t know you were coming. I hope I’m doing enough food for the three of us.”

“We’ll make it work”—Bryce said, hopeful.

“If not, Bryce, you can call a delivery just as you like.”

“Haha, always so loving, sis. Whatcha doing?”

“Mongolian beef, I found an easy recipe on Instagram and here I am.”

“You need any help?”

“Umh, maybe with the rice, I have to chop the scallions and then have an eye on the beef.”

“Sure.”

They both washed their hands and then Eleanor taught Bryce how to cook rice while suggesting topics to talk. Some were delicate and Keiki reacted badly, but after every scowl Eleanor gave to Bryce, he tried to act more empathetic, listening to her before judging.

Once the dinner was served, the three seated with smiled on her faces.

“Keiki, this is great!”—Eleanor praised after giving the first taste to her plate.—“You had cooked before?”

“Yeah, a couple of times, but it’s not that I have the chance to do it often when you have people who cook for you”—She replied, a bit embarrassed.

“And what do you like to do? Reading? Singing? Playing an instrument? Skateboarding?”

“I like drawing, reading, and sometimes taking pictures.”

“That’s great. Boston has such beautiful places to do it.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I’ve took some really nice. ”

“You must show me them after dinner, okay?”

“Sure”

“ And what about your friends? You are not missing them now that you’re here?”

“Nah, I don’t have actual friends there, they all hate me.”

“Why they hate you?”—Bryce asked, brows furrowed.

That was the moment Bryce had been waiting since her sister got there, because with that question, Keiki let everything out.

Bryce finally knew the motives that made her leave home and fly all over the Pacific Ocean and to the other side of the country to be with him, even if they hadn’t seen each other in ten years.

And it happened that her sister was living the same hell he lived. Her classmates hated her for what his parents did, and of course, they hadn’t done anything to protect her. They only cared about their reputation.

The mistake he kept making for ten years had led to this. Her sister suffering from loneliness, abandonment, bullying. Just like he did.

“Keiki I’m …. I’m sorry I didn’t call more. I should have been looking out for you.”—Bryce finally said.

“It’s not like you could have done anything from all the way over here.”

“I could, Keiki. I should have tried, I should have done better, I should have stood in front of mom and dad if you needed me to. And I didn’t. I let this happened. But I’m gonna do better, starting from today.”

Bryce got up from the chair and opened his arms, inviting her sister to do the same. After a few moments of staring at him, she finally stood up and threw herself into his arms.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk when I turned up. And like… every day since.”—She apologized, complete sincerity in her eyes.

“The only jerk here is me. You can stay with me for as long as you need, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks, Bryce.”

“I’m sorry, Keiki. Truly.”

“Bryce, it’s okay. I’m happy that I can count on you.”

“Always.”

The three chatted on the couch until Eleanor started to feel sleepy. She and Bryce said goodnight to Keiki, who had given his bed back a couple days ago as she found out the couch really comfy and his brother needed proper rest more than her. When they locked in the room, Bryce pulled Eleanor to his chest gently, resting his forehead into hers.

“Thank you for doing this.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“All the right questions, and all those scowls and deadly glares that meant ‘stop screwing it up, Bryce’ is doing nothing? Really?”

“Ah, well. It was minimal. You did the hard job here, you get your sister to talk, and you listened to her and empathized with her. You apologized. You were the support she was looking for. You did it amazing, Bryce. Not me. I’m so proud of you.”

“This wouldn’t have been possible without you.”—He kissed her in the lips, giving her the sweetest smile she had even seen in him, it made her stomach flutter.

“Good things happen when you trust people, you see?”

“Only with you.”

“I know. And I won’t let you down.”

___

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