#im not emotionally stable rn

[caketopics]

Will we still hang out and talk

When I'm no longer in charge?

Oh, dear Luna, I hope you like your name

I hope you let me take a shot with you on your 21st

But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

#im not emotionally stable rn #im cryibg #shes precious #HES A DAD #good god this man was like 16 when i first saw their show #5 seconds of summer #michael clifford #5sos #lua clifford #crystal leigh #clifford family #my post #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #mystal #mgc

[ghost--queer]

ANTHONY BURCH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

#so I started dndads… #I think ep 25 has broken me #Ronny???????? #dungeons and daddies #you know my heart???? #im not emotionally stable rn

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well. #i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good. #delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol. #24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰 #side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

im going to kill. something

#im emotionally sane and stable about this fanfic #cringe fail dad mori has me throwing up rn /pos #that cant even begin tl describe my emotions rn but its the best i can do

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how to not be overstimulated

#put music on - some of my very favourite stuff - and oh! it is making my hair stand on end! in not a good way! i am now on edge and i #don't! know! why! #if only all this would make SENSE >:( #no apparent trigger that i can perceive #back to our regular i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee apparently #and there's no REASON for to be feeling like this it would be so much easier if there WAS #i want to do so many things but they involve Textures and No #knitting? i want to finish my cloak! im les than a row away from the border itself! excited! and its maybe at times getting cool enough i #could wear it! but the mere thought of perhaps i should knit to calm down sounds Too Much! because knitting has Texture! #piano? it has Sounds! and there's a slightly worrying trend beginning to emerge that piano makes me Feel Emotions! and it's been like at #least five times where ive gone to play the piano to calm down which helps to some extent but also helps to remove a numb feeling which is #overall good emotionally but it has ended up with me harming because i can't Deal with the Emotions! and i dont think this is a very good #trend! i could get out my colouring book i was given for my birthday and see if that helps but that also has Sounds! pencil on paper sounds #i could write but id have to work out a different scene because i cannot write the scene im up to rn bc it's hard enough when im #emotionally stable bc neither character knows what to do or say! #so many things i *could* do! i could go for a walk! too Bright #i could do All These Things If Only I Could #am i just making up all these difficulties and is it just my own stupid brain that's inventing things? Who Knows!! #and it's so unfair that eating makes everything *worse* #it shouldn't happen that way #it just shouldn't #i just want to die so bad #i wont do anything #not permanent i mean #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #for the record i ate a meal like an hour and a half ago and ive hydrated #personal #im just so tired and pathetic and messed up :/

[a-reality-dream]

ah i see that he woke up and chose violence

#i cant play the vid rn bc im not emotionally stable to hear him sing cott in 2k23 #BUT I SEE WHAT U DOING MILES #i think i will not survive dublin gigs they will leave me in pieces

[hotpinkashcrimson]

I just keep thinking about it. How zexal is just such a kind show. That you can understand anyone if you try, that if you don't look away from your wrongs and accept them you can move on, that you make your own life and future and destiny, that as you grow up you shouldn't lose sight of what makes you 'you', that yourself is your most important possession, that even after hurting each other you can still believe in a shared future, that parents should never force their thoughts and actions upon their children, that you can always keep trying and trying and trying to do your very best. I'll never forget it. The show that is filled with love

#ygo #ygo zexal #im so full of something. i dont know what it is but i am not emotionally stable rn #it just gives me hope #hope to live. to love. to make my own future where i can be happy #......yuma...

[girlwithfish]

it is so funny that i am not mentally stable or well atm and just trying to survive each day bc i have a horrible anxious feeling that something very bad will happen in the next month but ik its irrational so i try not to let it grt me down or like manifest it into something and have it come true. i am trying to accept ive been crazy and not well lately and it feels hard to do anything besides lay in bed and be on my phone bc im lazy and unmotivated to continue and be a functional normal person and i get triggered from the smallest things and become very unwell and im not doing well lately at all but its like about the small things like i didnt feel like dogshit after therapy or as much as i usually do and i didnt have a freak out or get super anxious on campus i went to class i didnt do shit when i got home bc i have so many excuses and am generally a abbad dysfunctional person and then took a nap bc i was tired from having therapy in the morning and then coordinated plans w my mom which im positive about but have some anxieties about but im looking forward to cleanjng my apartment tmrw and i did most of my readings and even though i have a lot of bad thoughts toward myself toward my life and who i am and i dont even feel like i am a real person i am trying to take things slow and just do tasks each day and try not to fall off and thats the best im doing rn and its barely anything but its something i guess

#my main goal is to be as mentally stable as possible hah #and tell myself everything will be okay so i dont erupt in anxiety and die #this isnt meant to be negative really cuz its just how im doing lately honestly. i dont see a lot of meaning in things but i keep trying bc #i know im just not mentally and emotionally well rn

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

yeah of course I'm okay soaking in a hot bath for an hour is totally normal behaviour

#I feel better tho #a little dizzy from the hot water but slightly more emotionally stable #currently planning how to retrive my phone from the sofa cause I want to be in the bedroom #but with my phone #but the sofa is where my bf is and im not talking to him rn I know that wont end good #so.. HM #ill figure something out #my stuff

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

good evening!! home alone this weekend, i wanted to go up north with my family but i didnt get it off -_- pretty sad BUT i finally bought some new clothes from old navy and now im STYLISH i got new jeans for $15 bucks each AND a beetlejuice t shirt which is EPIC!!!! also i just ate a spicy chicken sandwich so im feelin good :^) essentially i want to make this a good weekend for me so im thinking of organizing my room and making new earrings hee hoo 

#also i applied and interviewed for a new job!! its at a grocery store #idk if ill get hired i feel like im not qualified for how intense it is but either way ill be happy #its 16.50 an hour so 👀 #but anyways im on these new meds and im more emotionally stable BUT i have NO motivation >:( having a hard time making art rn #or doing anything other than chilling out in bed lol #anyways theres my evening ramble about my life #hope everyone has a decent weekend too mwah #blurb

[ars0nism]

"ok i know its gonna happen im not gonna cry" and then the camera cuts to the WoL's broken little smile and there i went !! i am crying now !!

#and the fact that you just. have to keep going afterwards. #ars0nism's ffxiv adventures #heavensward is fun guys im so emotionally stable rn

[pepprs]

life would be so much better if i wasn’t so absolutely fucking depleted and exhausted all the time lol

#or afraid of getting covid #purrs #like life is passing me by i think. i am very small and i have nothing to say. i cannot sustain all the ways im being stretched. i am #not capable of deep thoughts or lifechanging insights or rocking chair conversations or warm eyes. i will not be getting my learners permit #when i said i would because im just too fucking tired. i will proceed to spend the week sleeping until 1pm and playing video games all day a #and barely moving at all and letting life live me instead of living it myself. i just do not have any energy at all ever. i don’t even have #spoons at this point i have like.. metal scraps. CONSTANTLY. the mortifying ordeal of knowing i am wasting my life and not living to the #fullest or making a meaningful contribution to the world or creating magic and love and change in relationships with other people and the mo #mortifying ordeal of no longer having the bandwith / strength / wherewithal to care much less do anything about it 😍😍😍 #like omg. i have never gotten covid and god fucking willing i never will but the psychological damage this pandemic has had on meeeeee. the #fact that we haven’t taken like a solid week as a society to process it all. the fact that i am socially mentally emotionally stunted in #ways i will never recover from no matter how hard i try. gotta love it 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 #delete later #<- it’s not just bc of covid obviously bc everything at home and at work is in massive transition and i do not do well w instability. i #would like at least one area of my life to be stable please. i don’t think that’s such a big as #*ask lol #im just depressed bc im tired and this week has been insane and my dyshydr*sis is flaring up HORRIBLY rn but also the overwhelming excruciat #excruciating awareness that i am a nothing girl living a nothing life and i did that to myself as a survival mechanism except survijlving = #scraping myself along the ground in every fathomable area of my life. awesome

[real-life-cloud]

hhhhh.

#the sky speaks #pregnancy tw (im not pregnant dw lol) #baby fever moment.................... #the other day my mom was like i mean u know u dont even rly need a partner to have a baby. u could get artificially inseminated #and like. i KNEW that was an option but hearing someone say it out loud ................................. #like i shouldnt have a baby rn. im not making that much money . am i even emotionally mature enough to raise a kid ? #but also if i had a kid sooner than later---the pregnancy would be covered under my parents health insurance .. #nd i know my parents would help me raise the kid! if anything the fact that im stillat home and have a pretty good relationship w my parent #would just make a more stable environment for the kid during their early development than if i was a lil older making just enough on my own #and also i want one :(((((((((((( #i know it might make finding a partner harder down the line #but i wouldnt wanna be with someone who didnt want kids anyway !! its a high priority for me !! #augh . idk #im also thinking more and more about going on T and getting a pretty big chest reduction. and wouldnt it be easier n make more sense to lik #have a kid and THEN do that lol #in some ways im like nooo im wayyy too young but. im 24. my parents had my brother at 20. i cant possibly do worse than them. #i would love the fuck outta the kid... #anywyas for now i write my bkg single dad AU and i yearn #maybe i'll talk abt it with my therapist. im getting back on her sched soon

[guinevereslancelot]

anyone else have a parent relentlessly matchmaking ur friends with ur siblings

#my dad is playing with my brothers and my friends like dolls rn #listen i love all my friends very much but of the single ones these is only ONE i would be ok with marrying any of my brothers #and my dad is fixated on one of the worst ones just bc she's super pretty and can sing #and i love her but she's way too self obsessed and immature #anyway im not a matchmaker but i mentioned to my little bro im really close with abt the one friend who i think he would hut it off with #but he isnt really interested in dating at all lol #but i would advise verg strongly against the one friend my dad so so wants to set up my brother with #also the worst brother for her honestly #she's not down to earth enough and he literally doesn't care abt the kinds of things shes into #i only have one friend who has similar interests to him and she's very down to earth and emotionally stable and he is aware of her #annoyingly these two girls have the exact same name also and they're inseparable besties lol #but my dad wont let go of the idea #i would get over it if my dad succeeded in setting them up and i sincerely love her and want the best for her #but i think she would make my bro miserable #but fortunately he absolutely could not be less interested in her #bc with all the love in the world she is so self absorbed and self obsessed #anyway.....how do i make my dad stop doing this #or at LEAST recognize that my autistic af bro would get along way better with my writer friend who is into anime and comics #and all the things he likes too #anyway #awkwardness #thankfully none of my friends have noticed he's like this im p sure but he's not that subtle

[trannigraham]

hah sorry for the spam

#u can tell im not feeling emotionally stable rn #dabour chats

[onlyafortnight]

coming back on tumblr bc i am getting cancelled on twitter

#im not emotionally stable enough to deal w this rn