#im worried im not. capable of doing this

[hoziersredguitar]

I miss old tumblr in the sense that i could complain about board exams and worrying about not getting enough to be eligible for my medical entrance test and i'd have summoned half the indian side of tumblr to sympathize

#im in sm stress #if i dont score above 75% im not eligible for my neet exam #which im planning to take a drop year for #and its gonne be both expensive and emotionally taxing #and i have to give THIS years neet exam too #for reasons #im not in the clear until may 20 #adulthood is a scam #And that is well BEFORE i even start preparing for neet #well before i even have to consider the possibility that i might not get in #im pretty much using this post to vent in tags #its like 4 am #and im stressed. scared. everything #its really difficult just existing w adhd and mental illness #much less studying #and neet is like highly competetive #the cutoff goes so high #i want to get out of this city #and be safe and actually be alive for once #a big part of me will shrivel up and die if i stay #and this is the first time i've actually wanted smth for real #tentatively and doubtfully #but wanting still #and idk if i'll make a good doctor or if i'll fuck up and have it all blow up in my fsce #overthinking basically #im worried im not. capable of doing this #anyways desi tumblrinas where are you😭😭😭😭

[bobosbillionsknives]

They are so repressed it's awesome 👍

#this is the realist form of vashwood #those motherfuckers are NOT capable of talking about their feelings #ik im a knivesblog and do not worry...knives is coming..but im getting all this old shit out of the way furst :3 #my art #vashwood #vash the stampede #trigun wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #trigun fanart

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

End of Empathy (time for violence)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #jin ling #lan sizhui #We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc. #I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't. #But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3 #Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute #but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it #like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.' #and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.' #'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe #The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die #XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed #plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong) #but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused #The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'

[anacharafan]

They surely have to have something of her as well, you know?

#nexomon #nexomon extinction #nexomon spoilers #nexomon extinction spoilers #nara nexomon #nara nexomon 1 #nara nexomon 2 #everything was so choppy near the end there :') #the children of Omnicron are so sly you would never understand #anyway Deena hi darling. im scared for you #xendars already happened and with jv hinting solus is dead in the next game. i worry about your wellfare #also get better problem solving capabilities #in n1 you overthrow your dad then you vow to watch over him for all of eternity #Netherworld when Omnicron says that Nexomon will die without his soul you go 'you have to do it. that soul is also the source of great evil #in n2 you could've probably kicked Xanders butt OR ran if you weren't worried about the kids behind you #she should really get better problem solving abilities and think about herself for once #anyway that was a ramble #hey i drew n2 nara i don't usually do that #Nexomon fanart #fanart #art

[hecksupremechips]

God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like

Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault

On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself

IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked

#zero escape #akane kurashiki #the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure #but god both possibilities are so tasty #personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders #shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil #but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked #like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma #and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her #like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others #and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much #because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die #and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on #but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen #not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize #he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her #but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off #and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much #she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed #and its all just too much and she completely loses it #so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder #but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are #those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :( #as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good

[ruporas]

i've been wondering- what do you think of vash and ww's relationship to pain? do u have any thoughts on it??

cuz i was just thinking like. obviously they're both extremely resilient and don't care much if they get hurt in the process of achieving whatever, but like... as for the pain specifically, i have to wonder.

cuz i'm reading trimax for the first time and toward the end of the sand steamer mess kite basically asks if vash even feels pain. and i mean... he has to, since not that long ago he just hit the floor with a dramatic blood splatter lmao. but like.

is he just suppressing visible reactions? or does he just not feel pain unless it's above a certain level?

and i wanna know about ww too if you have thoughts, i just haven't gotten that far in trimax :')

forgive me if my wording is all over the place, i havent been very elegant in my words Lately, but i am always down to talk about specific shit involving vash and wolfwood,

if we're just talking physical pain, yeah, i think they feel pain normally!

For Vash, he is the master of repression throughout Trimax, so I think naturally, he keeps a strong face no matter the level of hurt, whether on the outside or inner. It's just in his nature to not allow others to worry about him by pulling through with a fake smile or in some cases, he feels like he deserves the pain inflicted on him so even if he's getting pulverized to shit or threatened against his life, he'd default to a silence as opposed to screaming in agony that might make people think he isn't feeling anything. It's probably also second nature for him to no longer yelp or cry at pain after the amount of years he's spent getting hurt, but i think this only applies if he isn't emotionally involved in a fight (which is rare, but it happens in ch. 38).

In terms of physical pain, he seems to feel it like how regular humans do. I've thrown together some examples where he goes owchie owchie owchie that aren't too spoilery:

The Emilio scene is kind of why I don't think he's just playing up the theatrics of feeling pain, though I do think he would on some occasion, especially since he roleplays with children all the time. Verbally saying "ow ow ow" could potentially be an instinctive reaction too or maybe a source of comfort. But yeah!! I think Vash has always been able to feel pain and it's not like being a plant has lessen his ability to do so. Any resilience built is tacked on due to him being alive for 100 years and being a guy with a clear painted bullseye on his entire figure that ends up getting him shot and scarred.

In the end, the pain that gets to Vash the most will always be on an emotional level rather than physical, but Vash is such a genuine person and so present when it comes to other people that even if it's a pain he can take, it'll still hurt him terribly in more ways than one.

For Wolfwood; I think in general, those under the Eye of Michael have a strong resilience to dealing with pain due to the regen potions and the amount of training forced on them. I don't think we ever get the full description of what exactly those in EoM endured throughout their younger years, but we saw WW get shot at an early age in chapter 12 and we can assume it happened more than once. Over and over again until he won't even flinch against it just like how killing without hesitation was attempted to be drilled into him. I don't really know how it works scientifically… but I fully believe that he's mostly numbed to the physical sensation of it and it's the psychological part that gets to him more. Wolfwood himself is a naturally skilled fighter too, not that that really has anything to do with his dealing with pain, but I think his focus and attention on a battle and his stubbornness to win kicks an adrenaline that allows him to ignore the pain.

Though, his body also gets sore and tired just like any regular human does and there's this instance where he goes owie too:

(While NOT as much as Tristamp WW does where he's cracking a cold one every goddamn minute, I do think Trimax WW has gotten used to taking regen pots and thus, can afford to be careless and not give a damn.)

So, physically, technically in canon, they don't really have anything that specially makes either of them unable to feel pain, but just as you said, they're incredibly resilient. And ultimately, the both of them are affected emotionally/psychologically that hurts them more than the physical aspect of it, considering how physical pain is almost a daily chore for them to deal with (Vash being hunted for sport for majority of his life + Wolfwood being involved in experiments/killings for majority of his life.)

I think Trigun in general, while showing physical pain being a strong factor of hurt for regular people like us constantly seeing civiilians get beat up or shot, it tends to boil down to the multiple varieties of pain when it comes to those who deal with physical pain often (Gung Hos, Vash, EoM members).

I didn't know where to put these comments but here are extra thoughts:

They're both evidently really good at hiding their pains or any mark of vulnerability. They both could have a hole in their chest and go days without anyone else noticing so long it isn't killing them.

They're both pretty reckless during battle, but I think for Vash, he already tries to avoid violence at all cost and thus, do in a roundabout way lessen his own chance of getting hit in hoping to not stir that violence against another. As a result, I think Wolfwood can be way more reckless and ends up getting hurt more unnecessarily as a result of it.

They both are capable of healing at quick rates so I'm sure that allows the pain to feel more temporary, less of a risk to sustain, and to further hone in not caring too much about getting shot. That only applies for themselves individually though because every time they see each other get hurt, they're always so so worried despite knowing the other will be fine.

i'm pretty sure i repeated myself like 800 times, but i hope this Answered the question SFGMSDKGSMDKH i also tried to be vague enough in my wordings and focus only on the beginning-ish of trimax so to not spoil! i hope u enjoy ur reading of it!!

#asks #thank you for sending this and for your curiosity on my silly thoughts #honestly i dont think this is very coherent but i hope it is at least comprehensible. if im like. missing or wrong about anything #feel free to lmk..... #i do think its so crazy though that vw both understand the other is not like a regular person by any standard #and like sure vash knows sees and breathes in the fact that wolfwood /is/ human but he also can't see ww as just Another human #bc that human is entrusted with his back and does a good ass job protecting it. ww is like #super abnormal to him but in a positive human way-- #but where im going is that both of them know that about each other but still are so concerned all up with each other #Never once faltering in worrying about each other. granted theyre both so haunted by the amount of people theyv seen die and are thoroughly #afraid of that same thing happening to each other regardless of each other's monstrous capabilities of surviving but theyre just so #protective in some way as a result. #anyway i am sleepyg....

[variousqueerthings]

three just karate aikido-dropped three security guards and honestly id like to see some other doctors get into a fist fight occasionally, i wonder how they'd do

#doctor who #dw #im watching classic who #im watching the green death #im watching the third doctor #one woul feign a knee injury and then chop someone in the throat when they came over all worried #two would do silly flappy hands and be generally useless -- that or smack someone over the head with his flute #four would fight so dirty but also so badly -- hairpulling expected #five would espouse being above this and then kneecap someone with a cricket bat #im torn between six or seven as most likely to commit an actual murder based on what ive seen of them #but definitely six would throw an actual hard punch square in someone's face + scratch and claw #while seven of course uses a cane to devastating effect (with a bit of one and four tactics) #eight would be useless in a fight in the movie but far more capable later on BUT i think also least likely to fight someone physically #nine is a bitch-slapper ive decided. she's actually very unhappy with the idea of a proper fight but a humiliating slap yes #ten WOULD fight but would also lose and spit blood while acting like they're winning #eleven also does flappy hands but far more effectively than two and when you're not taking him seriously punches you in the face #twelve i think is most likely to win an honest fight through old-school fisticuffs but on top of that is also a bastard cheater #thirteen ive decided is most likely to have remembered some of three's martial arts but silly style -- gets halfway through a correct move #fucks something up and says *hold on i swear i used to remember this stuff now is it over the hip or shoulder...* before getting knocked ou #fourteen from what we've seen so far holds up their hands going *now wait a second-* and immediately gets knocked out

[hdra77]

Im super motivated now im going to draw as much art of my au as possible until my hands passes away

#fishbites.txt #im letting everyone know what i am capable of 😈😈 #also i literally have brainrot over this au #why do i worry so much for the past several days #the lore is literally so different LMAK

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles

[leovaldezdefender]

do you think Leo is a misogynist

nope and i'm not just saying that because he's my favourite character. calling leo a misogynist is just objectively ridiculous; the most "misogynistic" behaviour he ever exhibits is flirting awkwardly and thinking of himself as a casanova but even then when he gets put in his place it's not like he gets angry or violent or even all that upset. it's clear that his flirty behaviour is just another coping mechanism that can manifest negatively like, say, his bullying frank. he's best friends with piper, is intimidated by annabeth, and becomes close with hazel and reyna. all characters with which he has completely normal and meaningful interactions with. frankly i don't get at all how people see him as some raging misogynist—the most he has is a minor sexism problem that is typical of most teenage boys, one that even percy has.

tldr; no. nothing leo does is ever that serious.

#leo valdez #heroes of olympus #this is an ask with suspiciously good timing considering what i saw on twitter today #which i think ill post about actually. just to be a hater. #anyway yeah nothing leo does in hoo is ever bad enough to be classified as misogynistic #the most his behaviour does is slightly aggravate the girls #and he doesnt have any inherent discriminatory beliefs about women #compare that to for example sylva1n—another character i love who is most definitely more of a misogynist #HIS actions actually result in far more serious consequences compared to just annoying girls slightly #(the women he dates actually get emotionally toyed with and hurt) #and HE actually has beliefs about women that are hurtful (though he admits that its nonsensical) #but those beliefs influence his actions and how he treats women around him #now leo? doesnt do either of those things. of course because its not the point of his character like it is to sylva1n's #so consequently its just not something about leos character to. yknow. worry about. #like i said: at most he's just got a case of the teenage boy flirt combined with “whoa strong women exist?” #but the idea that he actually hates women is. laughable lmao. #ricks not capable of writing that kind of protagonist #anyway anon i am SO sorry for this rant. holy shit. #i even threw a fire emblem character into the mix im sorry fksjsks #in my defense you asked me about LEO VALDEZ and also im a sylva1n liker so i have lots of thoughts about misogyny in characters #but yknow apologies are due anyway 🙏 forgive me #ask #thanks for the ask :] #riordanverse #meta

[tangledinink]

... the fuck you mean you've had too many teeth broski.

OH well when I was like eight I had an extra tooth that was trying to grow upwards, like, into my nose, so they had to go in and surgically remove that one. smh. it fucked up all my other teeth somehow so then i got braces immediately after. i have really good mouth genetics actually.

#unfort i was EIGHT YEARS OLD #and therefore not capable of taking care of braces #so then they removed them #and then when i was like twelve i had another oral surgery #to remove that flap of skin like? under your lip #just below your nose and above your front teeth? #the place where you get a smiley piercing #yeah i dont have that they cut it out #and then immediately after THAT surgery i got braces again #and then when i was fourteen i had to get a root canal #coz ig my teeth have pits in the backs of them? #which makes it easy for bacteria to crawl up in them? or smth #anyway i had an abscess and a massive infection #was in horrible pain had a fever etc etc and we went to the dr and he said go to the dentist so we went to the dentist #and the DENTIST said i was just being DRAMATIC abt my braces and to ignore it #and then i happened to see my orthodontist like a week later and he was like #yah uh the color on that tooth is weird i wanna xray it #OH YEAH ACTUALLY THERES A HORRIBLE INFECTION. were referring you to an oral surgeron #and then i went to the oral surgeon for the consult and she said mmmm actually im like? #super dupes worried that the infection is gonna move into ur brain and kill u like. literally any minute now so uhhhhh can we do the surger #like #RIGHT NOW??? ill cancel all my other appts #so we did #but then the infection was so bad that it came back so a week later we did a second surgery #but this time they went in thru an incision in my gums to like. scrub out all the infection i guess #and it had eaten away a part of my jaw so i got a BONE GRAFT #and like sixteen stitches #but now its okay :) #i have a gum scar #anyway now my wisdom teeth are doing things lol

[waterfall-ambience]

furina is such a 15 year old girl to me its unreal

#auri rambles #genshinposting #okay there are other teenagers in genshin but furina's immaturity really makes her feel more human in a way #yk fischl is cringe and chunni so she's 14 to me but like a lot of the other teens are like #'oh im a renowned celebrity chef' 'im a successful author' 'im an exorcist' 'im an adventurer' #in a way their characterisations revolve around a specific archetype or job they have. they're supposed to be admired in a way. #with furina she's like a reflection of the insecure teenage self and she's frivolous and dramatic but because of her role as an archon #she's so scared. its like she knows she's weaker and less capable than other archons. even those who are younger than her. #that gap of maturity and responsibility really makes her feel for her. she's a kid. #furina's character succeeds where fischl's fails because her stakes and reasons for acting the way she does are so much higher #fischl being prinzessin is so low stakes in comparison that she just kinda feels cringe and she gets on my nerves lol #because it feels like she's doing a lot of it just because she can or she's escaping her loneliness or whatever. #but while fischl can just drop the act whenever she wants furina is trapped in public opinion. #fischl criticism aside i just wanted to say that the way furina's character is handled really makes her feel like someone who would #buy stupid things online and worry about her weight and watch too much netflix and take too long in the shower. #because she doesn't have to be 'admired' she has more room to be read as a much more human and sympathetic character.

[rat-rosemary]

"To whoever wants to hear, losing you is my biggest fear"

... I am not I'm the right headspace to deal with this

#from the pit in the backyard #i dont think Im capable of being in the right headspace #vent #tw sui vent #sometimes I think about how my little brother felt when I was incredibly suicidal and then I was to trow up #he was so young #he IS so young #uggghhhhhh #IM OKAY BTW BEFORE ANYONE WORRIES #IM JUST EMOTIONAL AND SLEEP DEPRIVED #IM NO LONGER SUICIDAL LIKE THAT IM DOING MUCH BETTER #MWAH MWAH MWAH KISSES

[rebeljyn]

Y'all know that movies can criticize one thing and focus on THAT thing without like... Tackling every social issue known to woman right...? Like tell me y'all know that lmao

#sorry someone reblogged a post shitting on the barbie movie bc it didn't do enough for body positivity compared to kung fu panda #its almost like barbie is about going from girlhood to womanhood and why a society where women are subjugated is bad #while kung fu panda is about a fat character being judged and having to prove that he's capable regardless of size #its ALMOST like those two movies are completely different movies with completely different focuses #barbie had a bunch of different body types too like............. #people complained that they make celulite seem like a bad thing as if that wasn't just the manifestation of a woman's worries #A LOT of real women do think celulite is bad and they'll regularly complain about having it #barbie was also worried about it bc 1. gloria was making her worry and 2. it made her different from other barbies which she didn't want #PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GAIN SOME KIND OF CRITICAL THINKING AND MEDIA ANALYSIS SKILLSSSSSS #sorry i had to rant im too incensed over this not to #mari just saying things

[cappurrccino]

whatever career I end up in, I need it to be one where I don't have to be creative. I am way too dumb to be making fun and educational posters, let me just write an essay and pin that to the board instead

#//juri speaks #laying on the floor; suffering; dying; etc #very firmly crossing ''outreach and student engagement'' off my list of library domains i might like to work in #also trying not to worry about the far off probably-wont-happen-anyway plans for more degrees falling apart #bc i fear i wont be creative enough to gen up some original research idea #all im good at is following procedures to the fucking letter #and thats not the kind of person anyone wants to hire unless they're the military 😭 #everyone just wants creative self starting go-getters and i have too many fuckin mental eels for that shit #anyway this has been your ''it's rainy and im sad'' mental breakdown of the day #now back to your regularly scheduled other posts made by people capable of doing things

[wiinterbunny]

💒🧸🎀🐇

#i've been so so scared and anxious and worried for the future for a while now #everything's changing #my mom is talking about moving (without me lol rip) #i have to become independent now #i fucking hate myself bc im almost 25!!!! and im still a pathetic loser who is dependent on her mom #but ofc i cant be #even if i've thought a lot abt myself and my personality disorders and i think this is just who i am #i need and want to be dependent on someone. to be taken care of and someone to make choices for me #but my mom just dont want to do that which i ofc get sksksk #and idk i dont have a dream. i cant imagine myself capable of any job #but i have two ideas of occupations i might be ok at #buuuuut i have no fkn idea how u get an apartment??? how do u get money? how do u do this and that #i know NOTHING abt being an adult or independent and im so fucking scared #dying seems so much easier and more tempting #i cant do.. cant do it to my mom #also it's sad bc recently a dream has formed in my mind #it's including another person tho. and i dont have any control over that. i cant force someone to choose or want me #so that dream is the least realistic of everything. even if this person really is my dream.... bit i cant count on it #and i have to build a live for myself. even if its not the life i really want #im scared im too dumb and childish and worthless to do so tho