#in like a tumblr kid in 2014 trying to be edgy way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transsexualhamlet · 4 years

Text

me going off about yoichi again

What the fandom sees Yoichi as: basic ass katy perry song from 2014

What Yoichi actually is: Karma by ajr

I mean, I don’t really know how this applies to the fandom now, but it’s definitely anime fans and most yoichi fans. I just, I wanted to watch a yoichi amv because I was working on Yoichi stuff but like. I could not find a SINGLE one that was even voiced by a guy?

Now, in general, that’s not an issue, just because he’s a guy obviously doesn’t mean that he can’t have a girl song because that would be dumb to say so. But that’s just not something I see for anyone else. When I see Mika or Guren or Yu centric amvs and stuff, there’s plenty of edgy boi songs and shit. Sometimes Mika gets sexy bitch songs as a joke, but when they’re actually trying to be about that character, they’re all songs sung by dudes.

And I mean, I just...

Here.

Yeah so @autpunk-godling and I like to complain about kagami I know but right now I’d like to complain about the fandom

I don’t really think it’s any of you on tumblr to be honest but it’s just the shit I’ve seen from a few years ago

Yes we’ve established that Yoichi isn’t a smol baby bean boi so fucking stop, a lot of people just kinda ignore that but even without the manga, even without taking into consideration a single thing he said in chapter 51 onwards, the way that the fandom likes to see him is just... not right.

yeah I’m defending him bc i’m a yoichi kinnie go off ig

Jupiter’s response pretty much sums it up but basically it boils down to

1. fangirls who see yoichi, think “gay”, and think they know his entire character because of a stereotype, honestly this was probably something to do with kagami, I feel like I’ve heard around for a long time Yu was supposed to have a fucking harem like guren and they just basically never developed yoichi beyond ‘clearly is gay for yu as a plot point for like three episodes before forgetting about him after school arc’

2. The fans basically just thinking that he just ✨ tried harder ✨ not to have trauma and now he’s fucking fine, I was glad to see that wasn’t the case but people don’t understand how or why it happened, I’ll gladly explain

3. People forget so easily how terrible he had it. It’s not just “gay boy fucking mans up” it’s “gay boy is consistently told for eight years that he’s completely useless if he can’t kill things and every trait he has is terrible because it’s weak and associated with gayness so he internalizes that to an unhealthy degree”

I mean, I’ll try to explain how I see his character, but yeah.

Back to my “I don’t understand how people were suprised when Yoichi admitted he would have killed himself if Yu hadn’t showed up” point... do you remember what he was like back in school arc?

He was not ok. Bro, that guy was so soft and scared. He didn’t want to hurt or offend anyone. He didn’t want to get into any conflict and his first instinct was to submit to abuse or run away. He was desperate for validation and friendship, and he fell for things like bullying easily because he wouldn’t fight back and he wanted someone to like him so bad. He didn’t really want to be in the army, he was glad he got saved even if his sister didn’t make it, he didn’t truly want revenge. Obviously he wasn’t over it, but he didn’t think “boy howdy do I want to kill a vampire”.

The only reason that he got so stuck on that was because it’s been pounded into his head from moment one. He got called every manner of weak, weakling, wuss, crybaby you can think of by not just shitty high schoolers but by authority figures. They live in a militarized society where your worth is determined by your physical and mental strength, so people with disabilities, mental illnesses, shit like that- they’re not doing so hot. Their way of dealing with Kids Have Trauma is “get over it” or “seek revenge against the vampires who did it”. This is actually a thing Kureto stated very clearly at the beginning of resurrection when he gave his dumbass speech to a bunch of traumatized 11 year olds right after the catastrophe. He’s weaponizing a bunch of kids by putting all these ideas into their head- giving them all fucking hero and martyr complexes because it makes them better soldiers. He tells them that they should want to get revenge and they should be strong and suck it up and use strong emotions against them.

So Yoichi basically grew up conditioned to absolutely fucking hate himself because that’s the ideal. He isn’t like that, and so he sees Yu who is basically the shining example of that kind of thinking, at that point in time. Basically just toxic masculinity central. He’s aggressive and strong, is much quicker to pull a sword on someone than hold out a hand, doesn’t want to make friends, he’s serious and dead set on revenge, he doesn’t cry in front of people and he uses his trauma as a weapon. Yu’s actually a total dick at the beginning of the story, to be honest, and I was surpised to find out the shit he said straight to Yoichi’s face. “give up” “weaklings like you would only get in the way” “nice guys like you shouldn’t be here” “we’re not here to make friends” basically telling him to suck it up or leave, bro, the dude was a fucking jackass to Yoichi, and Yoichi internalizes everything these people say to him, he believes every terrible thing people say.

And Yoichi still completely idolizes him because that’s everything Yoichi isn’t, as this obviously queer coded side character, and everything Yoichi is told he’s supposed to be. *clears throat* toxic masculinity

So in the beginning of the story Yoichi aspires to people like Yu and Kimizuki who are very,,, not open with their emotions. Gee whiz I wonder why he’s keeping up this facade to all his friends instead of trying to sit down and talk about how fucked up he is now. But let’s now talk about how Yoichi got to be the way he is now.

People, again, seem to think that when he got a demon he just decided to stop being traumatized or something, that he just finally got the strength to deal with that and it wasn’t a problem again because he gained confidence. But uh... remember what actually snapped him out of being possessed? You’d immediately go to Yu, but when Yu said all those idealistic things about friendship, Yoichi was still pointing his weapon at Yu. What actually stopped him?

Right after that, it was Guren telling him that becoming a demon was the equivalent to running away and hiding. (which, well, guren, I have a few things to say about that but)

He didn’t stop having those internalized ideals, the things he’d been told over years didn’t just go away or suddenly work at “fixing” him. He was just accused another time of being weak. He didn’t get over or resolve his trauma in any way, he just found a different way to deal with it, with a demon. The reason this actually works for him is that if you’ve literally ever looked closely at the times Yoichi interacts with demon stuff, he’s very innately talented at it, which is odd. He was completely immune to Guren’s test, he came back from being possessed out of sheer force of will, he learned manifestation by himself, he talks to his demon like he’s the one that Gekkouin should be scared of. He finally found something he was good at, that made him strong, and boy, he really clung to that one. He found a way to make himself the ideal they all wanted: in control, powerful, an asset to the team, stuck on revenge and without hesitation to kill- even if it’s not really something he should aspire to be. He just hides the fact that it’s a problem even more because it’s not something he’s supposed to talk about. because. toxic masculinity-

And so if you realize that, it’s not very surprising to see that reveal coming the whole time.

Simply put, if you liked yoichi, y’all should have realized he was never ok. Boy’s got issues. He’s a really complex character that, well, kagami kind of fails to do justice, but the fandom just kind of warps into smol uwu bean boi I could go on but my brain isn’t working so take this

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #yoichi saotome #ons #sote #yuichiro hyakuya #shiho kimizuki #guren ichinose

63 notes · View notes

skullsandwineglasses · 3 years

Text

Dear TikTokers romanticizing 2014

I started my second year of university in 2014, so I was 18/19 at the time. And I get it. I admit it too, I tried romanticizing my own life as well. I listened to Lorde and the Arctic Monkeys. I thought listening to soft rock made me edgy and poetic. I was living away from home, so I tried to turn my life into a pinterest board or a John Green novel. At other times I pretended my life was a music video: moody and dreamy and fast-paced.

In 2014, Dark academia was becoming a thing on tumblr before people came up for a label for the aesthetic. You would see posts about sweaters and coffee mugs and candles and gothic architecture.

But the reality was that I was trying too hard to emulate an empty aesthetic. Listening to a certain type of music or decorating your room in a certain way doesn’t make you more than who you are. It doesn’t turn you into someone else. Like going to Europe doesn’t change how “cultured” or “artsy” you are.

Looking back at that period of my life is certainly nostalgic, but also incredibly cringey. I can’t believe that period of the 2010s is being romanticized now. I had no idea who I was then. I was trying too hard to be a collection of tumblr pictures. And that was before I had instagram. Yikes.

But it’s also strange that 2014 is already being romanticized. It was only 6 years ago. When I was 15, I didn’t romanticize teenagers from 2004. I still don’t know what the 2004 “aesthetic” was.

So dear Tiktokers romanticizing 2014 (or anyone romanticizing any era): this is going to sound blunt, but you feeling nostalgia for a cultural period you didn’t experience just comes across as being shallow and ignorant. And to romanticize something that happened not even a decade ago? Well strap in kids, because you’re gonna realize that 6 years isn’t as long as you think it is. Sorry/not sorry for being patronizing.

Maybe I’m just a bitter 25 year old who’s having a quarter-life crisis, but I’m just annoyed at how teens have no sense of history and the things that came before them? Were we like this? Are all teens like this? Like how TikTokers have seemed to recently discovered “flared leggings” when they’re really just yoga pants that people have been wearing since who knows when. And how mom jeans are now back in fashion. And here I am thinking, I’m against my mother on her conservative, misogynistic, and racist views, and yet I’m asking her if I can go to the storage room in the basement so I can raid her 90s wardrobe because I want to look more like her, since it’s trendy now. I’m a hypocrite too, and I hate it.

15 notes · View notes

rivetgoth · 3 years

Text

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

14 notes · View notes

saltpepperbeard · 4 years

Text

A Jotato’s THG Story (novel?)

So a few days ago, the lovely @everlarkedalways asked me to Weave My THG Tale™. And, in being VERY on brand in regards for my THG Story, I’m late to the party lol! Mostly because of work, partly because I was avoiding Ballad spoilers, and a tad bit because...I’m a potato. BUT, now that I am free of any large projects and finally have Ballad in my hands, I’m finally able to look past my potato roots and talk about how a certain wATER POTATO ARCHER CHANGED MY LIFE lmao.

Ara has jokes though, let me tell you. “Keep it short” l m a o; THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A NOVEL AND WE KNOW IT. ARE YOU READING BALLAD? HERE’S A NEW 500 PAGE BOOK FOR YOU TBH-

I’ve told this story a few times before, but it’s always delightful to look back on things and see all the twists and turns I’ve experienced with this franchise. The most notable being, I started out HATING Hunger Games lol!

I was in ninth grade when THG started to become like, a global phenomenon. Everyone was reading it, everyone was talking about it, and it was everywhere. And for whatever reason, instead of actually sitting down and, idk, GIVING IT A TRY LMAO, my reaction instead was to DESPISE IT. Guess it was that edgy, irate, “I’m ABOVE the general masses ha look at me,” fresh-out-of-middle-school mentality. And also, my justification for hating it so much was along the lines of, “Wow it’s just a series about kids killing each other? WHAT’S THE APPEAL???”

Which like fjlksjdksds...If I could look back on my early 2012 self?

She had no idea what was in store for her lmao.

Anyway, the premiere of the movie came and went, and I was still hard set in my ways. THAT WAS, until that same summer. I can’t exactly remember which clips I stumbled upon first? But I know I came across the Joshifer+Liz Banks interview, and also a ton of Perfectly Legal Movie Clips™ on YouTube. Both of which silently chained my soul without me realizing LMAO. I remember thinking that the main actors were so cute and played off each other well (AGAIN LMAO, GIRL, BIG STORM COMING), and also remember being totally intrigued by all the clips I watched. It was mainly clips of Katniss in the arena, and I think it made me realize that wow hey, there’s an ACTUAL STORY HERE, WITH A FEMALE PROTAGONIST NO LESS.

The story gets a tad fuzzy for me here, but I do believe I got the books and quickly read through them shortly after I essentially watched the entire movie on YouTube through clips jdksljdks. I can’t really recall what I thought about the books really? Because, I think I BREEZED through them. I was so excited that I just ZOOMED TF THROUGH. I inhaled the series in one GIANT GULP. I think I even read THG in a single day jdlsjklaads. It definitely wasn’t a cautious read through to get a better sense of the detail and literary devices.

BUT, despite my excitement, I still hadn’t reached the God Tier “OBSESSIVE” stage yet. The light bulb hadn’t fully come on yet. It wasn’t until late 2013 when Catching Fire came out that I REALLY STARTED TO GO BALLISTIC LMAO. Actually, one of my fondest THG memories comes from this time, because I think it was really like, the OFFICIAL starting block for my obsession.

I was riding on a bus to a Theatre Competition, and my best friend had just gotten the CF Soundtrack for us to listen to. I remember being absolutely enamored with it- Mirrors, We Remain, and Lean in particular. And idk, something at that point just kind of told me that Catching Fire was going to be my anchor. Sure enough, after the competition was over, said friend and I went to go see the movie together.

And I astral projected lmao. I ACHIEVED HUNGER GAMES ENLIGHTENMENT. THE LIGHT BULB SWITCHED TF ON.

I was quick to see it again the following day, and I think saw it another two times in theaters after that. I also started drawing fanart of it, and looking for more pictures/interviews. And the want for more content, the DESIRE to go crazy about it, is what eventually lead me to finding the fandom here on Tumblr. I had had a Tumblr since 2012, but never really used it with a purpose. But when I realized there were people posting all sorts of stuff about THG? Boom- another light bulb. I followed tons of people, and officially changed my url to what it is today. “Star’s” for my internet alias at the time, and “Mahogany” for my love of Effie/that Iconic Line.

HOWEVER LOL, Tumblr would lead me towards a different side, something I didn’t expect to get pulled into so hard at all. Because, I distinctly remember coming on one night in December of 2013, and seeing @joshmopolitan and a few others posting about Josh going to the UK game. And that of course, lead me down the Celebrity Rabbit Hole, and lead me towards the Chaotic, Wonderful, Crazy-

JOSHIFER FANDOM.

((Also, before you crinkle your nose, *raises cane* BACK IN MY DAY, EVERYONE SHIPPED JOSHIFER LOL. *Snow voice* DON’T LIE. Like, everyone thought they were cute to some sort of degree, or believed they were going to get together. Shoutout to the Joshifer Golden Days, man.))

And thank goodness for it tbh. Because it was JUST when I was itching to write fanfiction with everyone else, and just when I was struggling HARDCORE with writing Everlark. @joshmopolitan and @youarebeingridiculous were sort of my introductions into RPF, with @youarebeingridiculous giving me nudges towards my first Everlark fic, before also nudging me towards my first Joshifer fic. And when my first Joshifer fic garnered attention/when I had a blast writing it? ANOTHER. LIGHT. BULB LOL.

So I was dead af from that point on. I was absolutely drawn in. Even though I was still invested in THG, Joshifer was definitely my main focus from 2014-2016ish. I was there for the typical ship wars, there to read and write all the fanfiction, there to read all the theories, and there to partake in all the crazy moments. Shoutout to Cannes 2014 in particular lmao; I was in the car and my phone started going off like CRAZY, with many of my friends SCREAMING at me about the events/articles that had transpired.

Being attached to Joshifer also allowed me to write my first, and so far only, full length, These Words are a Lie. It started out as just a four part series, two parts of which I actually published. Befffooorrre getting to the third part and realizing I had WAY too much to deal with/explain/write, which consequently lead to me pulling them down and expanding upon them! And thus my messy, lovely, 25 chapter peanut journey started lmao. Though I look back on it now and realize how disjointed it was, I’m so thankful I was able to see that story completely through. I’m also very thankful for the SUPPORT and following it got. Wouldn’t have gotten through without y’all!

ANYWAY LMAO, because this is my THG story and not my Joshifer story, let’s get back to that. 2014 was WHACK because...LG was utterly tripping with its promotional material. And to think, it was just the START of odd/lacking promo, seeing as they were SOMEHOW WORSE WITH MJ2 LMAO. But even though I was incredibly salty at the time, it was so fun to be mad and chomping at the bit with everyone else lol. The SUFFERING OF NOT HAVING ANY NEW CONTENT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER. Also, going to Best Buy to watch the teaser trailer under Heavy Guard??? Was an EXPERIENCE LOL??? But man was I so stoked to get my poster and pin, because that was some of the first merch I got!

ALSO, MJ1 was the time where I got the idea to create a small YouTube series called “Tributes React.” I really really wish I could have been in the fandom earlier, because it would have been, dare I say, FIRE LOL to react to more than just the MJ1 and MJ2 trailers. But it was so so fun regardless, and everyone’s participation was incredible! And now all of our early, embarrassing, INTENSE fangirling is stuck here/memorialized forever PFFFF.

And, not to mention, Fran Solo himself watched one of them. Someone tweeted the video at him, and he tweeted back that it made all the hard times worth it. MY GREATEST FANDOM ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE???

And finally getting to watch MJ1 in theaters lmao omg. I went with my friend before, and also one of my guy friends. And the entire time, he was HARD STARING AT ME WAITING FOR ME TO CRY LOL. SO HE COULD TEASE ME. AND HE GOT HIS WISH BECAUSE OF COURSE THE LAST 30 MINUTES OR SO UTTERLY RUINED ME. I remember shivering so so SO bad when the rescue mission for Peeta started, and having to hold my friends’ hands when they were creeping through the Tribute Center, and utterly SOBBING when Peeta attacked Katniss. Because...hello...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...WAY WAY MORE INTENSE THAN THE BOOK LMAO??

And then came the beginning of the end. I remember that promo time was even DRYER for MJ2 lmao, and that we were all DYING. Like, I think the big trailer didn’t release until like, SEPTEMBER??? WHICH...LG WHAT THE ACTUAL-

And we were also back to watching trailers in Best Buys jfkssdkdlsk. My Best Buy was also DUMB and didn’t have any posters, but @infinitegraces was awesome enough to send me numerous copies! Bless you, thank you; I had them on my wall all through college lol! DESPITE THEM BEING A HAUNTING REMINDER OF HOW HARD LG SMACKED US LMAO.

Despite my salt towards the INITIAL promo though, the premieres and what not definitely lead to MJ2 having a special place in my heart. I had just gone off to college, and was a timid, lonely little freshman with nowhere to turn. But the fandom was there for me, and MJ2 promos/premieres gave me something to be excited for. It all kept me going through that ROUGH first semester, and was there for me before I met my best friends. So thank you MJ2, and thank you all for sharing that excitement with me! <3

Also, I’d like to mention that I was SO desperate to continue the tradition of seeing the premiere with my friend thaaaaatttt...I left for Thanksgiving break two or three days early/skipped class JUST to make it back home in time to see it with her lol! I WASN’T HERE TO PLAY GAMES, Y’ALL. THG > ACADEMICS APPARENTLY PFFFF.

After that though, things kind of quieted down. I found friends and activities in college, the movies were done, and Joshifer was dying out. It lead me to use Tumblr sporadically, not posting AS much as I had before. I still had tons of love for everything, and still enjoyed coming on whenever I did!

Then I sort of stumbled upon our “renaissance,” like the lovely @everlarkedalways posting re-reads and re-watches. It tugged me in again, and made me excited to post content! I also branched out and began to write Everlark, and began talking about them/the books/meta more than I did in my earlier years.

And of course, said renaissance lead me to attending TOASTCON LMAO. Which I somehow managed to name. On accident. *Dabs unironically*

That of course, was such an amazing experience. Going to movie filming sites has always been on my bucket list, so getting to go to HUNGER GAMES SITES??? WITH FANDOM PEOPLE???? GOD TIER??????

I was also suffering from major panic/anxiety problems that summer, having just graduated college and being thrown out in the Real World™. So once again, THG and its fandom were there for me when nothing else could be. And despite me feeling off mentally, despite me feeling plagued by fatigue, I still thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone/having such a once in a lifetime experience. Also, getting to FLEX on my friends when we watch the movies and go like “I WAS THERE! I WAS THERE!! I WAS THERE!!!” is...A Time PFFFF.

Then of course, I started working a full time job, and shifted a bit away from Tumblr/the fandom. Not DELIBERATELY; more like, I was too Mentally Tired to really do much after work. But now that Ballad is here, and now that we have new content once more? I feel like I’m waking back up. Hell, I even went to Atlanta to see MORE film sites right before the virus started to make its rounds.

And so here I am lol! A SEASONED THG VET WITH SEVEN YEARS AND COUNTING UNDER MY BELT. I would very much love to tag everyone who had an impact on me, and/or who I’ve interacted with and shared fun times with over the years. But A. Everyone really out here CONSTANTLY CHANGING THEIR URL’s, and B. The number would be Too Great and I would inevitably forget someone on accident.

SO THEN, if you’re reading this, and we’ve ever shared some kind of THG experience together, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. THG has been such a wondrous experience for me, and it’s lead me to meet all sorts of amazing, talented individuals. It’s also been there for me during darker times, and has supported me in every way possible.

I love you all, I love being here, and HERE’S TO MANY MORE TAGS/RAMBLES IN THE FUTURE LOL! Like lmao, a new movie, you guys??? WHAT??? TRIBUTES REACT ANYONE???

-Jotato Out <3

#Jodi rambles #Like #REALLY //REALLY// RAMBLES LOL #thg #THG Story #holy shit i'm so tired katniss #i've been writing for an HOUR LOL #I'M SO OUT OF PRACTICE WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING SPRINTS MAN #MY 2014 SELF IS TELLING ME TO STOP COMPLAINING BECAUSE SHE WOULD WRITE FOR EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT GJSKLDJSK #I'M RUSTY LOL #RUSTY I TELL YOU #also this is probably littered with typos #what with my Clumsy Thumbsies #but here we are lmao #There's also even MORE stuff I have mention tbh #LIKE I NEARLY FORGOT TRIBUTES REACT LMAO SO I MEAN #WHAT OTHER MEMORIES DID I MISS #WHO CAN SAY #2014-2016 WAS UTTERLY CHALKED FULL

41 notes · View notes

flyingcookierambles · 4 years

Text

hguroahgouahrgo try infinite dendro im bEGGING

i keep seeing ppl be like "infinite dendro is just another sao" bc the anime came out and altho i havent watched the anime yet, since im on vol 3 rn, im like sobbing in my corner like no plz at least have the decency to compare it to log horizon or something. sao is like. dumb power fantasy. edgy loner wolf dude. log horizon was like. actual mmo stats and game mechanics! teamwork! guilds of mmo players and npcs working together! a real world where you can build things!!! log horizon is/was so gooooddd (;_;)

and like. infinite dendro's whole appeal is the ability to be a fantasy life where you can create things. and growth and stuff that's represented by your embryos. and like late spoilers but in log horizon they learned that to make actual good food you need to actually cook and not go thru the menu like you're just playing a video game. they worked their way up to making an actual working steamboat and then had this whole political arc w/ the npcs in a nearby country abt like. rights and economic trade and stuff. and like.

slight spoilers for volume 2 and 3, but in infinite dendro the country of dryfe is populated by artists and tradesmen players. like. ppl that are engineering students irl literally got together in guilds and made working mechas in the game. theres apparently a manga godframe grandmarshall that was made by a player in-game w/ a Painter/artist job skills. theres geopolitics that happen between the different countries and wars and histories and stuff. its a slower light novel than other mainstream vrmmo/isekai stories, but the world building is so good. arrrrrrghghghg

also im like so confused by comments (maybe not in tumblr specifically, but i’ve seen them on kitsu and twitter) that are like. "this game'll never work since players would just kill all the npcs and stuff bc npc permadeath" and im just like??? am i the only person to treat npcs in skyrim and stuff decently? geez whats wrong w/ you ppl? try? not killing?

sorry for the rando rant about this isekai video game anime lol but like srsly im so annoyed by ppl who judge an entire franchise by like 1 or 2 episodes of a show that's like. what. 12 or 15 episodes?? uuuuuuuuuuuuu YOU’VE ONLY SEEN LIKE WHAT. 30 MINUTES TO ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO OF THIS 11 NOVEL SERIES? THAT’S ON GOING??? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE IT SO EASILY, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S PRACTICALLY COMMON SENSE THAT BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN SCREEN ADAPTATIONS AND THERE’S A TON OF WORLD BUILDING AND EXPOSITION THAT BOOKS HAVE THE FREEDOM TO GO ON ABOUT IN SOME EXTRA PARAGRAPHS OR TWO THAT I’M SURE THAT ADAPTATIONS ALWAYS LEAVE OUT.

(whispers also high school me did actually read the sao light novels too when they were on like. baka tsuki in 2014. up to around half way thru alicization, years before the alicization arc’s novels were even officially in english. and like. they all revolved around how cool kirito was and like i dont really remember much about if they did do any world building, even in arcs where players could have even a fraction of the creative freedom that the log horizon/dendro games give their players, in like the first sao/aicrad arc. where you were supposed to have a real second life and stuff. and ppl got trapped there for 2 whole years. like. idk. liz's a swordsmith. asuna. has cooking skills?? meh not much else. it just went “let's not explore the game features or anything abt fun world building. instead have this emo loner high schooler. look at how cool he is.” bluhhh. at least ray's an average, well adjusted college dude who can work w/ others. shiroe's also a decent guy who's just really good at math and multitasking.

i think theres some sao side novels abt other players that were trapped in aincrad and like. that would be. so much more interesting. then kirito stuff. like. the whole orphanage for the kids who were playing sao and got trapped? average ppl who made livelihoods in 2 years like liz or agil who opened shops and just wanted to live their lives and stuff? like an anthology series abt players making. idk. therapy groups, publishing books to deal w/ their shit, and creative arts guilds, going abt their lives would be soooooo much more interesting to me world building-wise.

also, the geo-political stuff? afaik, it’s non existent in sao. maybe the closest that you can get is the uhhh. race wars? (yeah wow that’s actually really awful when you put it that way holy shit thanks sao abridged) that whole conflict in alo is maybe the closest you can get to fractions and guilds and stuff fighting.

but log horizon? elder tale has the HALF Gaia project, where the game is literally just a scaled down version of earth w/ post apocalyptic ruins of the “modern world” thats why the whole akihabara thing exists. then, it created an actual history of npcs and their countries and empires and spawned them around the world. and then, to add to the npc’s geo-politics, we also have the players’ geo-politics in terms of servers. the main cast is in akihabara. iirc, the light novel ended w/ the akihabara players in an alliance w/ the npc country/federation/city state thing the eastern league of free cities. they’re in some war against other players from minami city.

and then infinite dendrogram vol 3 comes in with this treat about geopolitics and world building that i’m sure that you would never see in sao:

(i’ve copy and pasted the text from the screenshots, and also some not from the screenshots for further context and put it on a seperate text post if you need it. click this -> https://flyingcookierambles.tumblr.com/post/190389803125/the-text-id-from-the-screenshots-if-you-need-it anyways this rant’s getting quite long so i’ll end it here)

but yeah. i’m sure that you would never see anything like this in sao, so seriously. please. IM BEGGING. GIVE INFINITE DENDROGRAM (the light novel at least) A TRY. IF YOU LIKE VRMMO/ISEKAI/FANTASY LIGHT NOVELS AND LOVE WORLD BUILDING, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T JUST BRUSH IT OFF AS “OH, JUST ANOTHER SAO” OR “IT’S REALLY BORING” BECAUSE I WILL CRAWL INTO A CORNER AND FUCKING CRY IF I HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER COMMENT ABOUT THE DENDRO ANIME BEING COMPARED TO SAO. I SWEAR THIS WILL JUST TURN OUT TO BE ANOTHER CASE OF “THE BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN THE MOVIE” AND PLEASE DONT LUMP ALL VRMMO ANIME/MANGA/WHATEVER TOGETHER. I AM BEGGING YOU. AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE “OH JUST ANOTHER VRMMO TRYING TO BE LOG HORIZON/MAOYUU/[SOMETHING THAT IS BETTER THAN SAO]”

#gummytruck rambles #rant lol #books #a book review i guess #not really but ill put this tag here to lump it together w/ my other book stuff #infinite dendrogram #sao #log horizon #slightly salty #ok im actually really salty

4 notes · View notes

pebblesagainstaewswindow · 5 years

Text

Reflection on Onion man

So hellu hellu there, nice to meet you @ whoever's reading this post,

I'm Ophelia and I've been lurking the Onision and the anti-onision community for some time.

I decided to make this post after seeing some especially creepy interactions between gregman and his underage fanbase.

Now, before anyone accuses me of being a sock puppet account of the grease man himself by looking at the lack of posts (the fact that he feels the need to create those is...very sad), I must say that I used to be more active on tumblr and I actually had two account before this one, but I eliminated them on a whim when I felt that I was dangerously spending way too much time looking/lurking the wrong communities. I created this account to first look at p*rn (I'm just going to be honest) and then, after the Purge, to just lurk for fun.

Now onto what I really wanted to say.

I started to watch the onion man back in 2014, and at first I enjoyed the content, edgy 13/14 years old me saw "something" in the man doing skits and stuff like that, and I (wrongly) agreed with some of his opinions/ideas, I had gifs of him, was an hardcore fan, crushing a lil bit, you know, the usual.

But as things start, they also come to and end. In 2016 I started to find his content boring, halfassed and overall terrible, and after some time I even had the chance to discover his past relationships and what he'd done in general, and that was the last straw. I laughed at his incapacity of being faithful and keeping it in his pants and left the community (in which I only lurked basically, I was and still am incredibly anxious, I'm doing this post because I'm worried).

Then the Billie drama happened, and that irked me even more and made me feel like I dodged a bullet, or better, a cannon ball.

As time went on I realized how bad he was, and by researching a bit more I found even more reasons to not hate him, but pity him.

He's so insecure about his own mental health that he has to go after others and consider them "mentally challenged" (to say the least) if they self harm or suffer from an ED.

He's so uptight with his sexuality and idea of masculinity that he tries to be the nice-guy-feminist-ally but then fails to actually follow the opinions he spouts, thus being the biggest hypocrite that ever was.

That's why I really suggest to look at him in a more "oh he's so pathetic" kind of mentality, rather than pure hate. He thrives on hate, but shrivels up at the idea of being considered pathetic, as it takes a toll on his ego.

But anyway, this is not a post to entirely shit on grrrrregory, but rather a warning to any minor in his community.

It's understandable to like him at first, especially if your sense of humour is a bit fucked and edgy. Then maybe you start appreciating him because of the picture of himself he tries to project on the internet: the honest, kind hearted, helper and saviour of young women that only gives true opinions that are actually perfect and should not be contested, as if you try to do so, you're a bigot/conservative that deserves to be oppressed.

It's okay, you should not be ashamed to admit it and to show it.

But then look around him.

Why does he only hang out with very few people?

Why do people on the internet cringe at him and consider him creepy?

Why is his like/dislike ratio so fucked?

Why is he forced to hide behind characters on Twitter to "avoid" backlash?

It doesn't take that long to find out.

You look up his name, and with a simple Google search you'll find everything that went down with him. Internet is unforgiving.

A little search, and you find out how he damaged his wife's car while on his way to fuck underage Shiloh when he was still married.

Or how he put Shiloh through an absurd amount of stress and pain, i.e. forcing her to shave her head and so on.

The situation with Skye, Adrienne and Kai (who, while also not being as innocent and as guiltless as he tries to be, does not need to be misgendered out of spite.)

The abuse of his animals, from his turtle, to the guinea pigs and dogs.

If you really see these things as "haterz gonna hate", I beg you to reflect. Would a completely innocent man try and deceive people by making fake accounts that support him and by trying to spread hate among other people? Would a man with a spotless soul claim to not be obsessed with someone after YEARS and YEARS only to make videos and name dropping that person every 10 tweets he makes?

That's only an example of how much of a bitter soul he is. He doesn't deserve your time or money. If you have any problem that concerns your mental and/or physical health, please be careful with the content onision posts. I wasn't personally affected by it, but you might be. Focus on healing and becoming a better version of yourself. But who am I to force you to do that? I'm not patronizing, but rather suggesting.

Onision is the equivalent of the edgy kid that brags about punching a wall while being angry at his parents.

He's the guy saying he's a feminist to only get into people's pants.

He's a bully, and as a bully, his ego is so fragile that he has to go out of his way to abuse a copyright system to take down people who disagree with him. Would someone honest and able to take criticism do that?

Look up what he asked Billie when they were splitting up: do you think a sane man would ask you to be chained in his basement as proof of loyalty?

Look at Kai. Does he look like an happy parent? Why doesn't he trust Onision around their kids? Why does he keep on looking for someone else to get into his and Greg's relationship?

But these are just starting points, and you can just ignore them if you want.

What I really care about is you being safe. If greg shows interest in you and you're underage, take a step back. It's not cute, it's not goals. It's predatory. Because guess what, do you know what happened with the last teenager he approached? Onision got married to him. Kai was all over Greg, because he got what fans want from their favourite celebrity, he got his dream of marrying the man he stanned.

In the end, I don't care about whether you believe me or not, I care about people (specifically minors) not falling into the onion trap.

Just please,

BE CAREFUL.

#onision #anti onision #antio #greg avaroe #thoughts

1 note · View note

lucifer-and-chill · 6 years

Photo

Journaling for Otherkin/Therians 2

I decided to make a timeline of my experiences (had the idea thanks to talking with @loploplopori) over the past 17 years, as many as I could immediately and strongly remember (aka, stuff that has been happening since I was around 4 or 5 years old). There is stuff this timeline leaves out, mainly because when I thought of that stuff, it was after I drew out the whole timeline and there wasn’t enough room. I figured, since I didn’t remember those experiences until later, they weren’t as important to be included on this first try at least (many of them are also individual books, movies, tv shows, music, etc. and ultimately just characters I see as Lucifer parallels. I only kept some of my earliest memories of these on the timeline because of how important they were to me when I was young).

So this is my Timeline of the Devil, showing as many personal experiences, and early thoughts that shaped the changes and developments in my spirituality, ultimately leading to my nonhuman identification as Lucifer.

· 2000: Fantasia + Fantasia 2000; certain sequences fascinated me (Night on Bald Mountain, The Firebird Suite, Symphony No. 5)

· Early 2000s: Disney villains + other; tv shows like The Powerpuff Girls with devil-like characters

· ~2001: Lion King II + The Prince of Egypt movies really resonated

· 2001-2003: saw The Hobbit (animated), The Lord of the Rings trilogy; favorite characters were Smaug and Sauron

· 2002: Balto II “Who You Really Are” song that I loved

· 2002-2005: dreams and story writing about “demon” prince character

· 2003: saw Princess Mononoke, started having dreams/imaginations about turning into a demon

· 2004-2008: complicated dream series, at first I was a shapeshifter leading an army of villains against The Powerpuff Girls, evolves into dreaming about a connection to El Chupacabra and The Beast of Exmoor (specifically more cat-like feral creatures with vaguely vampiric tendencies), evolves into dreaming about having feathered wings and being able to turn into a dragon and in these dreams I am a queen, evolves into dragon/human character with a feral beast side

· ~2006: figured out that the serpent in Eden could be interpreted as a dragon, way too excited

· >2007: Harry Potter books, favorite character was Voldemort

· >2007: start experiencing phantom mobile ears to try and “catch” sounds, originally on purpose and now instinctive. Experience phantom tail, call it “my dragon tail” privately to myself.

· 2008: kids make fun of me for hissing, I stop.

· 2007-2010: starting to change ideas about my religion and spirituality, leaning towards pantheism.

· 2011+: reading Black Butler leads to reading Eric (Terry Pratchett) and Dr. Faustus (Christopher Marlowe)

· 2011: early writings directly comparing myself to the devil and saying that I wrote myself into my stories as him

· 2012: I create a variation of Lucifer for my stories and RPing that has far too much of myself in him

· 2012: I read a quote by Mark Twain about praying for the Devil, bring it up later in a group at church to gauge how other people feel about it in comparison to my own thoughts

· 2012: I hear about otherkin through my brother, get the bad side of things and I ignore and forget about it

· 2012-13: I start directly thinking of myself, off and on and very very quietly, in terms of “it’s almost like the devil and I share a soul…but that’s silly”

· 2013-2015: off and on stalk the otherkin tags, ask a gryphon otherkin a few questions when I see they have a lot more serious writings about themselves. Still don’t think it applies to me.

· ~2014-2015: horns/wings phantom shifts start, maybe

· 2014: read Paradise Lost

· 2014: brief blip where I start to make an otherkin account on tumblr but then back out like nah nah no absolutely not (if you saw a positive-demonkin blog briefly appear and say something about wanting to make the demonkin tags better and not as uh, edgy and gore-aesthetic, as they were then, lol that was me)

· 2015+: I join the otherkin community as Cipher, start producing more personal writings

· 2016: first dream shifts

· 2017: first major acknowledgment of my feral side, in behavior and my own writings and spiritual understandings of how it factors in with the rest of my identity

#otherkin #angelkin #demonkin #my journey #why does my phone take such crappy pictures? we just don't know #unrelated anecdote but lmao I tried to get my brother to let me read the first Lord of the Rings book when I was 5 #it didn't work he was convinced i wouldn't understand anything #which let's face it i probably wouldn't have #but i was disappointed anyway

9 notes · View notes

bleeding-green · 7 years

Text

Get To KNow ME!!!!

No one tagged me that’s how lame I am....But know I’m not this boring and if you ever really want to talk to me I can start sending you random pictures too until you turn your noticications off from me blowing your phone up....hehe yeah. So let’s get into this...

rules: answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you would like to know better.

1. nickname: Sky or Beautiful or Weirdo or Dork or Cutie idk people have yet to come up with nicknames for me....

2. gender: Demiboy

3. star sign: Scorpio son

4. height: around 5′2 or 5′3 doctors always tell me something different so just short

5. time: 3:05 pm

6. birthday: 25 October ‘96

7. favourite band(s): Are you ready for that list.... *clears throat* BTS, All Time Low, BigBang, SHINee, Green Day, A Day To Remember, MCR (cries in the distance), Twenty One Pilot, Foreigner, Day6, Seventeen, Exo, Mayday Parade, 5SOS, Slipnot, Reo-Speedwagon, The Cure, The Killers, Block B, U-Kiss, Fit For Rivals, GOT7, The 1975, Coldplay, U2, NCT U, NCT Dream, NCT 127, 2ne1, and a lot more than that but you get the gist

8. favourite solo artist: SayWeCanFly, Ed Sheeran, Justin Beiber (don’t judge me), Adele, DEAN, Zico, Eric Nam, Gerard Way, Melanie Martinez, Adele, and more but I just cant think rn

9. song stuck in my head: Dear No One - Tori Kelly

10. last movie watched: Titanic

11. last show watched: Wizard’s of Waverly Place.....don’t judge me I still love that show

12. when did i create my blog: February 2014

13. what do i post: selfies when I feel like it and I reblog mostly and it’s a jumbled up mess so if you get to the bottom of my tumblr that’s what I call dedication....

14. last thing i googled: 24 hour taxi’s in Cincinnati (i know i’m so edgy)

15. do you have other blogs: well I don’t use them at all anymore but @phan-love-llamions which was when I was really into phan and made me a phan account it was dead and still is dead also @adventures-with-cameron because adventures with my best friend I start things and never finish them but eh and then @fan-humans-and-bands that one I made when I was bored and it is dead like all of my other accounts...

16. do you get asks: not really but if you ever want to I am still here just ask away

17. why did you choose your url: okay good question I have to explain it to everyone or people will think it’s a kink thing and IT’S NOT OKAY!!! It’s bruise my from bruise my bones from saywecanfly. That song helped me through a lot and I like butterflies so instead of bones I put butterfly so there bruise-my-butterfly but I might change it again. Because explaining it gets tiring

18. following: I follow a lot of blogs 3,10

19. followers: 280

20. favourite colours: I could be cliche and say all colors because they all are beautiful but black is one because my soul, and yellow because it’s so bright and how I feel when I make people happy

21. average hours of sleep: it ranges either it’s 3 or 4 hours or it’s 15 to 20 hours no in between

22. lucky number: 11

23. instruments: piano I’m still bad at it but I try....

24. what am i wearing: a pierce the veil crop top, red short shorts with my tall colorful socks and like always they aren’t matching....

25. how many blankets i sleep with: one that is really soft and gray

26. dream job: a chef because cooking is my passion and I love making people fall in love with food

27. dream trip: I would love to go to Okinawa, Japan because I want to see where my Oba (grandmother) grew up

28. favourite food: RICE, PASTA, SUSHI, CHEESECAKE, COTTON CANDY, CANDY

29. nationality: american

30. favourite song now: still Auto Reverse by Psy and Tablo it is wonderful

I guess now I have to tag people so and I’m sorry if I don’t even talk to you I’m just using blogs that follow me so here

@the-complex-kid, @hopi-hobi, @loserthatlikesanime, @jinniesloveforjin, @glorydaysjimin, @triptvych, @slytherinash, @gaybangtang, @baerouteme, @kitkattae, @thisdorkrobin, @galaxy-princess420, @dearvoodooqueenmarielaveau, @kpoplifestyle, @distinguishedyouthgod, @i-exist-apparently, @winemomseokjin, @tahyeung, @wanna-be-korean-unicorn, @shitty-bean-boy

And none of you have to do this at all I just did it because I wanted to....so sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged and if you unfollow me because of this sorry too...bye.

#thanks for putting up with me #things about me #whoo

11 notes · View notes

amorremanet · 7 years

Text

in which still no one asked for this, but it made me feel a little better about how i have a shitty day ahead of me, and pete got to go second because i have blatant authorial favoritism for him but at least i admit it?

their blog url: itwasafineaffair

Pete would tell you how many different pretentious, increasingly ridiculous theatre kid URLs he considered before finally, “going back to basics” and settling on lyrics from Cabaret’s, “Mein Herr,” but then he’d probably have to kill you because it’s a very large, embarrassing number.

That said, he still has the URL ghostsonatas saved in case he ever gets bored of Sally Bowles and decides to break out the August Strindberg.

Also, here’s the Liza Minelli version of, “Mein Herr.” Don’t ask Pete who his favorite Sally Bowles is unless you’re willing to clear your schedule for the entire afternoon because he has a lot of Opinions about that question.

their blog title: “yes, princess, i am immensely happy. thank you.”

which really only makes sense when you see Sebastian’s blog title.

Pete’s blog title used to make sense, because it kept the “Mein Herr” theme: “i’ve always said that i was a rover.” At one point, it was, “du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen, mein herr” because he’d just gotten dumped and was being emotional about it all over his blog title to restrain himself from actually being a shit to his ex.

But then his Princess finally got on tumblr, so Pete matched his blog title to Seb’s.

He would probably try to insist on matching icons, too, but Seb doesn’t see the point and he only got a non-default icon when he left Pete alone with his laptop for a few minutes and Pete picked a selfie for him to use.

For his own part, Pete’s icon changes every couple months, and when the novel starts, Pete’s icon is bearded Chris Evans holding a puppy.

the original posts they make: puns. shitposts. snarky liveblogs of whatever happens to be on TV at the moment. complaining about his coworkers. sub-post complaining about Todd (who usually doesn’t get it). all but outright saying that he is complaining about Todd (who still usually doesn’t get it). “random brief observations or whatever happens to be on Pete’s mind right now.” pictures of Seb’s dogs and/or their sponsor’s cat. pictures of Seb and Margot (give or take a few others, but seriously, Pete isn’t that close to very many people, and he usually only features Todd’s face when he can’t get out of it).

the kind of posts they reblog: Pete’s sidebar will tell you, “this is a personal blog, which means that i post whatever the hell i want and you can react however you want, but i’ll still keep posting whatever i want because it is my personal blog.” But to get a better idea:

cute pictures from blogs with themes like, “butches cuddling kittens” and, “bears cuddling puppies” and so on.

theatre, generally, and especially musical theatre. there’s a lot of general appreciation and theatre kid blogging — I mean, he’s right there and ready to reblog those photos from the one production of Midsummer’s Night’s Dream where Puck and Oberon are really, really close, or photos from when Ben Whishaw played Dionysus in Bakkhai — but Pete also reblogs more serious criticism, theatre history, commentary on the social and political significance of theatre, and so on.

Sometimes, he gets in a Mood and will lecture you on the significance of musical theatre specifically, and if he’s especially Moody, he’ll break out his copy of DH Miller’s Place For Us: An Essay on the Broadway Musical and flap loudly at you about why musical theatre is really and truly a dyed in the wool LGBTQ art form and stop trying to heterosexualize musical theatre already, it’s gross.

(On any given day, there is like a 95% chance that he will be in this Mood because Todd said something ignorant about musical theatre being, “stereotypical” and didn’t really listen when Pete went, “No, stop talking, here is why you’re wrong, you dumb-ass hipster white boy fuck” at him, and Pete just has a lot of residual feelings to express.)

Seriously, in the novel’s timeline, the critical pushback of historians, cultural critics, et al. going, “Um, actually? There are some aspects of this that are troubling for these reasons and we should really be having a Discussion about this” at Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton hasn’t started to happen yet…… but when it does? Pete will be all over it. He will be so. excited.

He won’t even be anti-Hamilton as such (like, he enjoyed the bootleg he watched since he won’t be seeing it live because jesus shit, tickets are expensive, but he also wouldn’t actually ask Seb to please use his parents’ connections to somehow find them Hamilton tickets or anything, because ehhhh, that sounds like a lot of work for a payoff that wouldn’t be worth it). Pete just loves it when people take musical theatre seriously as an art form and talk about it like that. It makes him so happy, he could just start crying.

politics or current events, sometimes. there aren’t really very many discernible trends in what he reblogs or doesn’t, on that front, beyond, “well, gay things and LGBTQ stuff more generally make pretty regular appearances” and, “Pete has tags specifically for, ‘disgruntled filipinx blogging’ and, ‘disgruntled biracial blogging.’”

fashion photography and fashion stuff generally, though:

1. it’s mostly for reference in his theatre things. Like, he does sort of enjoy the fashion stuff itself, and he has definitely reblogged some fashion things because he didn’t care about the clothes or the photography but thought the male models were gorgeous…… but even though he doesn’t usually work in costume design, Pete finds fashion stuff productively inspiring;

and 2. this happens a loooot less after February 2014, because that was when he got back from rehab (which his Mama insisted on because it was what Sebastian and Todd both did, even though Pete had already done his homework about outpatient options that didn’t involve going to Middle Of Nowhere, Minnesota, and he liked those ideas a lot better…… but he needed his Mama’s help to pay for any option, and she went, “inpatient rehab first, it’s definitely going to be better for you” and she genuinely believed that, so Pete cooperated)

Which was a big deal wrt Pete’s periodic fashion-blogging because one of the most important things that Pete got out of rehab was the one-on-one session where one of his the therapists said, “Peter, has anyone ever suggested that you might have an eating disorder?”

—which started as a, “face-crack of the century, wait what, what in the shit even are you talking about, of course they haven’t because I don’t have one…… right?” moment and eventually shifted his whole view of everything around and made him go, “holy shit, this explains so much” — and a lot of his initial resistance came out of how he’d never crashed and burned quite so obviously as people tend to think of when they hear the phrase, “eating disorder,” but still. that made so much sense out of so many things for him.

It also made him look more closely at his periodic fashion-blogging and go, “Oh. Some of this is definitely an exercise in self-abuse for me. I should maybe do that less and, like. Keep a better eye on that. And…… okay, wow, what the fuck even is my life, I really, really wish Mama had let me do the outpatient thing instead because holy shit, if they’d suggested that, I could go cling at Bastian right now instead of having to process this on my own with a bunch of nosy other patients sticking their faces into my business, like shit I appreciate the concern from most of them but I want to be with my best friend right now.”

(Pete got his clinging later, when he got back. And he unwittingly made Seb kick one of his slips off the wagon, because he’d spent almost a week coasting by on his ability to fake sobriety while telling himself things like, “okay, if I just moderately abuse my substances of choice, everything will totally work out fine”… but then Pete came home with the, “So, the shrinks in rehab said I have an eating disorder, and it makes sense and all, and I’m fucking terrified” news and Seb went, “okay no, that’s not going to work, Pete needs me to be there for him more than I want to be intoxicated”)

music. there isn’t a lot of rhyme or reason to what he’ll reblog, when, or why, because Pete will listen to almost anything.

One anecdote is that he hadn’t really had much exposure to Nicki Minaj, outside of, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster,” until he deliberately went looking for Nicki stuff on tumblr because Todd, in his perpetually obnoxious hipster-ness, was trying to avoid her entirely because she was, “undeniably talented, but too mainstream.”

So, Pete wanted to annoy Todd and give him a huge middle finger for that shit because on one hand, yeah, uh huh. Way to say that about a black woman artist while actually paying (Bastian’s parents’) money to buy the Glee soundtrack legally, as if that is somehow LESS mainstream than Nicki Minaj, are you SERIOUS.

Also, Todd? YOU OWN MULTIPLE ALBUMS BY MAROON 5. STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW “ANTI-MAINSTREAM” YOU THINK YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU WEAR FLANNEL AND BUDDY HOLLY GLASSES AND YOUR ALLEGED “FILMS” MAKE NO SENSE.

And on the other, oh my god, shut up, you obnoxious fucking hipster, everybody already fucking gets it: you want to be original and edgy and insightful and cool, and you overcompensate because, on some level, you KNOW that you are none of these things, and you are an insecure little white boy who can’t deal with how ~*mainstream*~ more than a handful of his interests actually are, now shut up shut up shut up shut upppppppp.

Clearly, the best way to make this point to Todd was to loudly, insistently support Nicki Minaj and put her on Todd’s dash whenever possible.

That didn’t exactly work out as well as Pete wanted it to because Todd singularly failed to get the point (or maybe he did but just committed himself to acting like he didn’t, Pete’s not sure).

But on the other hand, Pete actually listened to more of Nicki’s music than, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster” while doing this, and that’s the story of how Pete came to fanboy Nicki Minaj.

Chris Evans. A lot of Chris Evans. Not quite, “more Chris Evans than your body has room for,” but say, like…… two steps down from a lethal dose of Chris Evans.

Not that Pete neglects the rest of the MCU, exactly, but he’s like 80% there for Chris Evans, 10% there for Anthony Mackie, 5% there for Sebastian Stan, 3% there for Mark Ruffalo, and 2% there for literally everything else. And it shows. Because he really blatantly favors Chris Evans.

These numbers will change somewhat when CACW actually happens in-character, because Chadwick Boseman. But Pete’s number one will still be Chris Evans.

Tangentially: Please do not ask Pete if he prefers CEvans shaven or bearded. Just don’t.

Don’t do it because his answer will be, “I prefer Chris Evans right here, right now, with his tongue in my mouth and his hand on my ass” and he will think this is clever every. single. fucking. time.

Don’t talk to him about Tom Hiddleston, either. But……… you should avoid doing this for very different reasons.

Like, without any external influence, Pete’s opinion of Tom Hiddleston would just be, “meh *shrugs* whatever, like I haven’t seen a million sad puppy-eyed weird-but-pretty edgelord white bad boys before. Like I don’t have a cute but troubled pretty white boy with big sad Bambi eyes for a best friend. Okay, he’s talented, but ugggggggh, I’m BORED”

—but see, Todd kind of has a Thing for Tom Hiddleston. Todd kind of loves Tom Hiddleston.

Which makes Pete determined to really not love Tom Hiddleston, literally just to annoy and spite Todd for, “having terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, boring as shit taste — my Princess excluded.”

So, uh. Don’t do that. (Trying to talk to him about RDJ isn’t advised against, but only because Pete will just ignore it and pretend he has no idea who that is.)

Oh, also, don’t expect Pete to care that the MCU and the XMCU are separate entities, or care that the canon of the XMCU can be a complete cluster-fuck, or give a fuck that all of the different Spiderman movies are not necessarily related to each other.

Don’t expect him to give a fuck about any of this because he thinks it’s way more entertaining to try and shove all of them into the same universe, just like you’d do with the actual comics.

Also, he has learned that he can get his cousin Emerson, Emerson’s weird nerd-bro friends, and Todd wound up really easily and make them do stupid things by feigning like he has no idea that Chris Evans and James McAvoy will not ever cross paths in a Marvel movie because of dumb copyright reasons, wondering why Hugh Jackman’s name isn’t on the cast list for Age of Ultron

and saying things like, “You know what would be the best possible thing for Thor: Ragnarok? At the midpoint, Sir Ian McKellan makes a grand entrance from behind some random curtains that weren’t there five minutes ago, purple cape billowing behind him, and Magneto punches Loki in the face. Boom, Ragnarok averted. They fill the rest of the movie’s runtime with Chris Evans taking me to dinner and a movie within a movie, it’d be totally meta, right? :D”

Yeah, Pete is also that person who would go to ComicCon in a “totally brilliant cosplay” as, “the World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper,” get super-method about his real-time LARPing as The World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper (but like, using actual method-acting, not, “Jared Leto sends giant health hazards to, harasses, and is otherwise horrible to his costars because lawl method” method-acting), and use it to satirize and take the piss out of both really OTT shippers and the people who act like shippers are Ruining Every Forever because they want to ship.

He’d also tell a nerd-bro that his favorite Gandalf quote is, “Do or do not, there is no try” but his second favorite Gandalf quote is, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one,” and point to a picture of Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore and identify him as Gandalf while identifying a picture of the Fourth Doctor as Dumbledore, all just to annoy the nerd-bro, then yawn and saunter away while the nerd-bro has an angry meltdown.

Someday, Pete is going to troll the wrong person (again) and it will get him into really deep shit (again) that he won’t be able to wriggle out of by being charming and witty (like he usually does when he gets himself into these situations), but his take on this is, “Hey, as long as I don’t unwittingly troll a super-villain, it’s not actually that bad. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen.”

(Seb would point of that that’s exactly what he said before getting shocked into three major heart attacks by another mutant, which in turn triggered his first transformation into a nine-foot-tall wolf-man? And that he has said it in many, many other situations that immediately went from Bad to Worse to Shitty to Excremental to “the motherfucking shit-pits that trailed down from the hill of Golgotha” because saying things like, “what’s the worst that could happen” and, “what could possibly go wrong” is seriously tempting fate to kick your ass — but he will also admit that Pete has better luck on this front than he does, and that Pete has better coping skills, and that Peter Paolo Matthew Arden just has his shit more together than Seb does in general, so he’s somewhat less likely to end up in Golgotha levels of shit from this.)

(But, please, Pete? He would really, really, really like it if you could please act like you care whether or not you get into a mountain of shit from tempting fate by trolling people so liberally, like. Please. Pretty please. He loves you so much and knows that he can’t protect you from the ups and downs of life itself, but you’ve already had so much bad shit happen to you that Seb wants to keep you safe from as much unnecessary bad shit as possible, and…… please? (⊙︿⊙) )

cat pictures. dog pictures. wolf pictures. guinea pig pictures. iguana pictures. giraffe pictures. if there is a cute animal out there, being cute, it has a place on Pete’s blog. especially if he can find an excuse to tag Seb in them and go, “it you” (which he mostly limits to cats and, after Seb trips and falls into mutant werewolf superpowers, wolves — but he’s also gone, “it you” on pictures of lizards, sharks, lions [specifically, the “do lions blep” post], giraffes sticking out their weird blue tongues, tapirs, and pugs wearing sunglasses shaped like flowers).

Pete watched a bit of Community because Seb seemed really into it, and he thought it was okay, not enough to really reblog it that much but okay — but he definitely reblogged a gifset of Troy going, “awww, I wanna lick it” over a puppy from “Cooperative Calligraphy,” specifically so he could tag Seb and go, “awww, Princess, it you.”

In fairness, Seb deserves that and totally agrees that he deserves it because sometimes, he needs a chaperone when he goes to the local ASPCA shelter, or he might well try to adopt all of the dogs. Which Pete finds adorable in theory, and really endearing from his Princess…… but also, Seb? You have six babies already. You would have seven if you hadn’t lost Chewie at the end of April, assuming that you still adopted Cat without losing Chewie. Cool it. Chill. You do not need more dogs right now.

Pete has also been known to go, “awww, Princess, it us” on photosets of cats and dogs cuddling with each other, and “it me” on pictures of pugs embracing wine mom culture

(the latter of which, in retrospect, he kind of regrets doing. Like, he more or less stands by it, but it made Seb get Worried about him and go, “Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Because you were just getting on my ass about not making self-deprecating jokes about sobriety because it worries you, but now it kinda looks like you’re doing the exact same thing, and I’m just?? Should I be concerned, Pete? Do you want to talk about something? Are you okay??? I love you, you’re important to me, I can talk if you want to” which was not what Pete intended at all.

Like, on one hand, he hates making his best friend worry about him because if you ask Pete, it’s only natural for them to worry about each other, but both of them also need to work on worrying about themselves a bit more effectively. Because precedent says that both of them sort of suck at it, probably especially when they think that they’re doing okay with it.

On the other, he hates making Seb worry because Pete is still working on getting used to the feeling of someone caring about you. Like, even with Seb, who’s done things for him like blow off an entire weekend of shit to get down to Yonkers from Poughkeepsie and come out to Pete’s undergrad after he’d had a really messy breakup that caused a wave of drama in his entire friend-group, because Pete went to a small liberal arts school full of theatre kids (even among people who weren’t in the theatre program), and the gossip mill was ridiculous, and everything was a fucking disaster…

…so, Seb lied to his prep school teachers about a vaguely defined, “family emergency,” lied to his grandparents about not having any classes on Friday for some contrived reason to get them to give him a ride to the Metro-North station in Poughkeepsie, booked it down to Yonkers, and spent a three-day weekend with Pete.

Eventually, his grandparents found out what was going on, because Seb called his Mom that afternoon to go, “Hey, jsyk, I’m in Bronxville with Pete earlier than we’d planned this weekend, I’m probably going to use the credit card in the City tonight, we’ll be safe and stuff, but his ex-boyfriend’s a jerk and it’s screwing things up with all his friends too and he’s really upset and he needed somebody to be there with him who’s not involved in any of it” — but by that point, he and Pete had already had their three-day weekend, so it was just kinda whatever.

But, yeah. Like, Seb’s done stuff like that for Pete since they first really started getting to know each other, but unfortunately, Pete’s father and older brother are people who exist. And some of Pete’s dickbag ex-boyfriends are also people who exist. And between all of them, Pete’s wound up having a hard time with the concept of people genuinely caring about him, and even with Seb, he can bristle and go, “No, stop, this doesn’t make sense, why are you doing this, ‘caring about me as a person thing’”

And on the dorsal fin, Pete doesn’t like making Seb worry about him too much because when he’s at his best, Sebastian is a loving, generous, selfless person who is an amazing friend and cares about people for their own benefit even if he isn’t their friend…

but this is not an ideal world, and under all of that, Seb also has a problem where he over-relies on other people for a sense of stability and a sense of who the Hell he even is (the TL;DR of why is, “untreated clinical depression and some of the longterm side-effects thereof”)

and when things go wrong for the people Seb loves, things can start going wrong for Seb himself in short order, because he worries about them, feels their pain a bit too intensely (but not outside the human average enough to make it mutant-level empathy), and generally turns the volume on his human disaster-ness up to eleven.

Like, in the past year-and-a-half, Seb’s had ten separate stumbles off the wagon, and four of them started in close proximity to Something Bad happening to someone he loves — e.g., his Dad had a routine arthroscopic surgery, which went well enough on its own, but Abe had a bad post-op reaction to the anesthesia, and Marceline told her other three kids to basically tell Seb enough to keep him in the loop, but don’t get specific because he’ll worry. Unfortunately, this left Seb with a lot of questions, which made him worry, which made him feel helpless and miserable and scared…

……and then he dropped off the radar for thirty-six hours and when Todd went to his place to check on him, he found Seb coming down from being strung out on Percocet. And, like, okay, on the plus? Seb hadn’t taken all of what he’d gotten his hands on and had flushed the rest before Todd had even gotten there…… but he’d still been really strung out, and he was less than entirely enjoyable to be around while coming down (like, Todd called Nick, Seb’s sponsor, for him, and Seb spent most of their call groaning when Todd said something that was true but that Seb didn’t like him saying)

……and Pete got to see this when Todd called him, going, “Hey, it’s cool if you can’t, since I know you, like, just got back from your Mom-mandated rehab visit a couple weeks ago, but…… uh. Seb hasn’t eaten lately because he got strung out and forgot about it, and I’m not allowed to use his kitchen because he likes it un-exploded, and I don’t want him to be alone, so, like? Can you maybe come over here and cook something? Or take his credit card and get take-out? Or if not, just say so and I’ll try calling Margot again, but…… pleeeeease?”

So, yeah, uh. Pete would really like to not be the cause for that sort of thing, because he doesn’t want to do that to his Princess — especially since you can sometimes get Seb to not totally lose his head about things, and in fairness, he is slowly getting better, but he’s also a stubborn jackass about calming down [which Pete can’t actually judge him for, since Pete is arguably even worse on the, “stubborn jackass” front sometimes, but still] — and also because it would really fuck Pete’s mental health up for Seb to go off the rails. Partly because Seb would be off the rails, and partly because Pete would feel guilty about it.

So, yeah. Long story short, Pete has a lot of feelings about why he regrets going, “it me” on the picture of the pug embracing wine mom culture.)

Golden Girls anything. He’s only even seen a few episodes of it, but he loves it anyway. He has often gone, “Princess, it us” on posts that featured both Blanche and Dorothy, but no one’s really sure if he’s Dorothy and Seb is Blanche, or if it’s the other way around. Pete isn’t even sure, but he’d probably tell you that it depends on the post.

In his defense, both he and Seb have responded to, “better late than [blank]” with the answer, “pregnant!” before, and generally, they both have decent claim to either role.

Seb personally feels like he’s probably more like Rose, but Pete refuses to let him be Rose. Todd is Rose. Todd has to be Rose because as much as Pete likes Betty White, he’s not actually that fond of Rose, and views her in much the same way that he views Todd: they’re kiiiiind of cute sometimes when they aren’t trying too hard and they bring something to the group that Pete would miss if it went away…… but they can also be really fucking nerve-grating, whoops.

Also, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for her, “I looooove a tight man! A tight man with cast-iron pecs… thighs that could choke a bear… butt you could eat breakfast off of… hnnnnnnnnnngh” line

For one thing, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for that line because he’s not discriminatory or anything with body type, but his favorite exes have all been at least a little bit chubby, so like… the exact opposite of a tight man.

For another thing, he can’t say the line right. He doesn’t suck at it or anything, but it’s just missing something. Probably conviction. Because Seb’s preference is not actually for a tight man and he’s putting less effort into the characterization than Pete is.

With anyone else, Seb would hold that he’s putting less effort into the characterization because it’s just supposed to be fun, but…… This is fun for Pete, so whatever. Do your Dramatic™ thing, Pete. Enjoy it.

the first person they followed: the lgbtlaughs blog

what kind of theme they’d have: light background, dark text, straightforward with easy navigation and space for a sidebar pic and links. Not too fancy, but clean and nice-looking.

what kind of text posts they make at 2am: “oh my god it is motherfucking tech week why are these idiots still calling LINE”

#that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #pete arden: dramatic disaster #mine: writing #mine: shitposting #memes for ts #ocs tag #oc questions #tumblrisms #pete x seb #pete & todd #drugs ref// mental health issues ref// eating disorders ref// abuse ref// addiction ref//#brief passing mentions of pet death & medical/surgery things

0 notes