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moonlit-han · 4 years

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stray kids’ reactions to their s/o having a bad relationship with their parents ↠ all members

genre: reaction, angst, hurt/comfort word count: 3k warnings: brief descriptions or mentions of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, emotional manipulation, dysfunctional family relationships, alcoholism, swearing request: yes a/n: to the one who requested this: i hope that, if you have a dysfunctional or abusive relationship with your parents, you’re able to leave the environment safely. or, that the behavior changes or stops soon. make sure that you have somewhere safe you can go and at least one other person you can talk to and who can help you. be safe, darling!

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

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bang chan

chan would be in utter disbelief that people could act like that

he kept repeating that parents should care about their children

that the yelling and screaming should stop

he would, honestly, have a very low opinion of your parents from the moment he found out everything they’d said and done

he’d not be one to make rash judgements about people,

but there are some lines he holds firm on

you’d long ago learned to go blank when your parents started on their shit

it didn’t matter if it was aimed at you

or at each other

but yelling, blaming, and cussing wasn’t at all what you wanted to experience or be around

chan would make damn sure to be there anytime you had to visit your parents

he didn’t want you to feel alone and small ever again

he had very clear boundaries with your parents

(not that they really respected them, though)

but that didn’t stop him from walking right out of the house, your hand in his, if they tried controlling him

chan had long ago perfected the art of getting you out of your parents’ house at the first sign of trouble

he’d always know when something bad was about to happen between you, too

chan would do everything in his power to make you feel better every time you were feeling shitty because of your parents

he firmly believed that no parent should stifle their child like that

and should never yell or strike you

n e v e r

and don’t get him started on the emotional manipulation

.......

he’d always comfort you after seeing your parents on those rare times courtesy required you to see them

the day you’d told chan all the abuse you’d endured, he simply held you as the both of you cried and cried

and he’d held you all that night, too

really, chan would hold you every single night

and soothe your frantic breathing when the nightmares caught up with you

once, he’d used a phrase that your mother was fond of when she was trying to guilt you into doing things,

you’d gone blank and stopped hearing him

from that day forward, he never used the phrase around you again

chan was adamant that the two of you would not act like your parents in any way

if he was upset, he’d go for a walk and then come back later to talk calmly about whatever had been upsetting

he never took things out on you

no emotional manipulation whatsoever

and the idea of laying hands on someone in anger was abhorrent to him

chan would be absolutely committed to making you feel safe and loved

lee minho

minho was, honestly, pissed

he was pissed that you were dealing with shit from your parents

he was pissed that you didn’t seem to have a chance to rest these days

he was pissed that he felt utterly useless in the face of your unhappiness

he’d noticed that you gazed into space more than usual

that you were sleeping more

all minho wanted to do was comfort you

but you were keeping to yourself

and, worst of all,

not asking for help from him

when you came home from work late with your eyes red-rimmed

minho immediately picked you up in his arms

and took you into the bedroom to cuddle you

over the next hour, he listened as you explained how you’d gone to your parents’ house

and how they hadn’t let you get a word in edgewise

that wasn’t anything new, and, all things considered, they hadn’t treated you too badly

at least no one had decided to slap sense into you

as you’d tried to tell them that you’d just moved in with minho

you wanted them to be happy for you,

but they were scornful and insisted that you were too young at 23

that you were throwing your life away by moving in with your boyfriend

you didn’t care

not really

but something in you needed them to know.

so now that you were back home

and in minho’s arms, you completely fell apart

more than you’d fallen apart on the drive home

you’d only let yourself sniffle as you drove bc you knew you’d crash otherwise

but now you could cry and cry and cry

and let yourself get tugged into the torrent of emotion that flowed through you

minho just rubbed your back and murmured sweet nothings to you

then helped you shower and change into your pajamas

before tucking you under the covers

so you could finally let yourself rest

meanwhile, minho made you some tea and a couple pieces of toast

hoping the honey he’d smeared on top would help you feel better

but really, just needed his arms around you

seo changbin

you’d been at your parents’ for a family gathering

and came back home with a blank look in your eyes

knowing that things were strained between you and your parents,

changbin was ready to support you however you needed

you kind of fell into his arms

and just started crying

your body shook and it took long minutes for you to calm down

changbin wasn’t quite sure what he could do,

besides comfort you and make sure you were safe

he was angry that the situation between you and your parents was worse than he’d known

as you gulped out the story of your mother taking you into the kitchen

and hissing thinly veiled insults, telling you that you were selfish,

changbin heard the blood pound in his ears

if he could make your mother shut up, he would

he wished the two of you could live together

but you were still in college and couldn’t exactly do that easily

so, he hoped that all the time you spent together

and the fact that you were taking so many classes

was enough to get you through still living at home

it was still hell for you, though

you hadn’t realized how bad it was until you started dating changbin

and he’d told you that no, your parents trying to guilt you into not going to college in favor of taking care of them was not normal nor okay

you were glad you had changbin to give you perspective

he was the sweetest man you’d ever met

and you were in awe of how he fought for your right to autonomy

you couldn’t resist feeling overwhelming tenderness for him

all he wanted to do was treat you with as much respect and love as he could

like chan, changbin was incensed that parents would treat their child, or children, like that

and would definitely have a few sharp words to say to your parents

he wouldn’t exactly care about the consequences

there were simply things that were acceptable and some that weren’t

and he cared about you too much to not say something

he would do small, sweet things for you

just to see you smile all the more often

changbin made a point to tell you just how much he loved you

every

single

day

hwang hyunjin

as hyunjin watched you crumple on the doorstep of your house

he knew something was wrong

rage filled his mind when he saw you crying so brokenly

he had no idea what had happened

but he could guess and it made him

utterly furious

how dare they

how dare your father be such a bastard

if hyunjin could, he would spirit you far, far away from home

he wanted you to be safe

hhhhhhhhhhh

………….

he strode forward and sank down on the step next to you

you tried not to rely on hyunjin too much

the last thing you wanted was to be codependent

but with such a crappy home situation

you needed some sort of support

and your boyfriend was the best support you could ask for.

he was understanding

he would fight for you as long as he could

and wanted to make all the hurt you’d experienced go away

he knew that wasn’t necessarily possible

bc emotional wounds are difficult to heal

and need a long time to work through

but he’d be there for you

with his warm arms around you,

things seemed a bit less bleak

but you still couldn’t believe that your father had just threatened to throw you out of the house and to hit you

to punch your lights out

your mother had tried to intervene

but he simply wouldn’t listen

you’d grabbed your phone and just kept inching toward the door

hoping you’d make it before anything bad happened

so now you were there on the stoop, sobbing

you hadn’t even noticed hyunjin until his arms were around you

he’d been on his way to come see you

but now he was your protector

he held you like a piece of pottery that had broken

and he was putting you back together

like you were now kintsugi

a piece of pottery that was broken but now repaired with gold

the unseen cracks in your soul slowly,

so slowly

being filled with hyunjin’s care and love

han jisung

jisung would be the one to sneak you out of the house at midnight

just so he could see you

and so you could have time free of your parents’ control

you’d go to the park near his house

and sit under the trees or feed the ducks

as soon as he got his license

and could drive others around

he’d come pick you up to go to school

and drive you home,

making damn sure to take all the longest routes he could

you’d told your parents that you had an after-school club,

one that lasted all the way until 5 pm,

all just so you could spend time with jisung

and not be at home

you’d spent many a night with jisung,

crawling back into bed early in the morning after having slept together in the back seat of his car

his parents weren’t too fussed about what he did,

especially since they knew your parents treated you like shit.

in the spring semester of your senior year of high school,

jisung’s parents had invited you to simply live at their house instead of your own

or, at least spend the weekends there

it helped

it more than helped, since you were happier than you’d ever been when you finally brought as many of your things as possible to jisung’s

it was lucky that jisung’s parents were such wonderful advocates of your safety.

they spoke to your parents and convinced them to let you spend more time with jisung

….granted, they neglected to tell your parents that jisung was your boyfriend of three years

but that didn’t matter

a good friend would do much the same for you

so, you practically moved in with jisung for that semester as you applied for colleges

and finally gone a week without shaking

jisung was determined to help you work through the anxiety your parents’ treatment had done to you

anytime loud noises made you start shaking or freeze up,

jisung would just calm you by cuddling you

and distracting you with any and everything he could think of

in time, jisung’s presence and love helped you heal

lee felix

felix wouldn’t understand why anyone would want to be so mean

what was the point?

when you’d started dating…

felix tried to be kind to your parents, he really did!

but when you’d brought him with you to see your parents

and you’d gripped his hand so hard that he was afraid his circulation would be cut off,

he knew something was wrong

felix had whispered, “you okay, babe?”

but you’d only been able to grip his hand harder

felix had just politely made an excuse about needing to go somewhere

and gotten you both out of there

you’d explained everything on the way home,

felix simply holding your hand the whole time

and trying not to cry

you’d gotten used to the shit your parents threw at you

but with felix’s heartfelt response

and his support,

you really did think about how wrong and twisted it was.

the alcoholism in your mother’s family had finally manifested

and turned your mother into....

just a bit of a monster

you were far too used to hiding in your room as she raged downstairs

and then ignoring the reek of alcohol that lingered in the carpet the next morning

it was difficult to get through school sometimes

but felix being there definitely helped

he’d bring you little crystals that he’d left out in fresh water and moonlight

to help clarify your energy and mind

slowly but surely as felix was more solidly your boyfriend

his support was invaluable

he was there for you when you needed him

and understanding when you needed time to yourself

felix read up on how to help people deal with emotional trauma

and made sure to employ strategies he’d read.

he didn’t want to do the wrong thing,

didn’t want to inadvertently hurt you

((not that he’d ever be capable of that, though))

he would give you all the cuddles he could

felix would literally try to cuddle the sad out of you

he was convinced he could do it akhfdsjfhg

when his arms were around you,

you believed his cuddles would make everything better

and honestly, they did

felix’s capacity to love was endless

kim seungmin

seungmin, like minho, would be so damn angry

and i mean,,,,,

a n g r y p u p

akdfghkjsdfhgakfdghsdkjf

he wouldn’t put up with any shit from your parents

and it didn’t help that they were totally against you having a boyfriend

for every reason they could think of

if either of them said anything shitty to you in his presence

he would be like a simmering cauldron of rage

seungmin never

and i mean never

would dream of yelling around you

or at you

or anything like that

any rage he felt toward your parents wouldn’t be let out anywhere near you

seungmin knew better than to do that

he didn’t want to trigger something in you.

whenever your parents were particularly horrible

seungmin would just hold you

you’d moved as far away as you could from home

and then met seungmin

so when the two of you travelled,,,,,

reluctantly;;;

to your parents’ home for any important holiday or birthday or whatever

((even though you really didn’t want to be anywhere near them))

seungmin became all the more protective of you

when seungmin felt you were becoming overwhelmed by the controlling and manipulative behavior of your parents,

and when you’d tried and tried and tried to set boundaries with them

but they still wouldn’t listen,

he would hold you all night long

so tightly you thought you would burst

but burst with contentment and the feeling of absolute safety

yang jeongin

jeongin’s caring and sweet nature only extended so far

he had no love for your parents

none at all

you’d told him all the ways in which they’d scarred you

emotionally, physically;;;;

and he’d felt like he was about to explode

he’d thrown his arms around you and just repeated “i’m sorry” over and over again

jeongin would try to be mature about the situation

but also wanted to just scream

he’d dutifully write down all your triggers

and make damn sure to never cause you to feel uncomfortable because of him

but jeongin would also be unsure as to how to deal with your parents

while he’d want to confront them,

he also wouldn’t have the experience to deal with bad relationships

not because he’s young or anything

just that his life is full of love

he’d want to protect you

and make sure you’re okay at all times

jeongin wouldn’t give a shit about what your parents thought of him

why should he when they treat you poorly?

he’d probably buy you little sweets

so that if you’re having a bad day,

at least you have something tasty

and he’d try to come up with things to take your mind off your parents

and sometimes that would just be kissing you

sweetly and soundly

so that all you could think about

and feel

and know

is him and all the love he feels for you

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witchiswriting · 3 years

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A Not So Merry Christmas Chapter 5

Summary: Negan and Lilith meet with an unexpected face from the past.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of violence, Mentions of panic attack.

Characters: Negan x Lilith (OC)

Author’s Note: Wow! We’re so close to the end. I feel bittersweet since it’s my Negan fic ever, saying goodbye to those characters are harder than I thought. Don’t worry though. There’s going to be a sequel, I just don’t know when it’s gonna be ready to posted.

It’s been a month and a half since Negan had started to live in this hell called The Sanctuary. He’d accepted the fact that he’s never going back to the life he once had. The only person he knew from his life before, his best friend or more like ex best friend was now his enemy. Rick Grimes, he was one of the residents of Sanctuary; he didn’t have a room like ordinary workers or saviours. No, he was staying in a cell and lost his hands in a brutal way. He had watched all his family getting slaughtered by Negan.

When Simon led Negan to the cells that day, he found out about the murders he’s caused, and they were a lot. When they came across Rick’s group Negan ordered them to give their half of shit to him. Threatened that otherwise he’d kill them. After particular events, a war took place between the groups Negan terrorised. They came together against Negan, but they still hadn’t the enough numbers to defeat Negan’s kingdom. So, Negan beat them down in a very brutal way.

Rick Grimes was the person who killed Lilith. In a crossfire he shot her in the chest. Although, Negan was the one to blame since he was the reason that Lilith had been here that day.

If he wouldn’t had been this stupid. Cheating on her in another world too.

In that very morning, Lilith walked in on him fucking Amber, at least that’s what Negan thinks her name is. He doesn’t remember anything, doesn’t know anything. He even made Simon tell him how Lilith died. So, that was it. Shocked and very much hurt Lilith left The Sanctuary, and she was too lost in her own mind to notice the trap the Alexandrians had set up.

First, she was captured by Rick. He had no intention to hurt her. She was just another victim to Negan after all but when the saviours came guns blazing Lilith got scared and tried to find a way to escape. She found it but when she threw herself, she felt the heavy bullet ripping through her chest. That’s how she died in arms of Negan.

When Negan stood in front of his ex-friend now enemy’s cell, he felt completely numb. Nothing came out of his mouth. The only voice echoing through the cold walls were Rick’s hatred, accusations, and threats. Negan waited with a stone-cold face. He was too busy to comprehend the situation. After 10 minutes he walked back to his room and refused to come out since then.

Negan sighed, taking a sip from his whiskey. He let a tear fall on his cheek. It’s been too long, and he was now sure that there’s no going back and there’s no Lilith. He’s the man with everything yet nothing.

For the first couple of weeks Negan always slept, thinking that might be the only way to go back to his old life but, of course, it didn’t work. Instead, he woke up to a bloody Lilith standing in front of him and accusing him of letting her die. His nightmares were another thing. There were too real that Negan couldn’t bear to live this agony repeatedly. So, he drowned himself and his sorrows in alcohol. Hoping to numb himself and he almost made it.

Until one night.

He was laying on his stomach in his bed and crying silently. Wishing he had at least one photograph of Lilith though he didn’t know if he could take looking at her beautiful face again. Trying to get some sleep, he closed his already tired eyes. He heard some noise in his bathroom but didn’t care. Probably he was too drunk, and his mind was making up things to torture him more.

He turned on his back and closed his eyes tightly. Wishing dive into deep slumbers of sleep in a few minutes however, the faith had other plans.

A light breeze brushed his beautiful face, slightly waking him up from his semi sleeping state.

There she was, standing in the same sun dress, watching him with an angry expression. Her dark curls were moving lightly in the wind.

He jolted up from the bed. He must have been dreaming or was too drunk again and seeing a hallucination.

Lucille, she was standing all in her glory.

‘’ You really don’t get the concept of second chances, do you Negan?’’ She asked with a sassy tone. It was apparent that she wasn’t pleased with him.

‘’W-what? I’m too drunk and seeing things. Fuck. Lucille.’’ Negan was rubbing his eyes.

‘’Wake up asshole, it’s not a hallucination. I’m here. Again. To fucking help.’’ She gritted her teeth.

‘’ But why?’’ Negan was confused. He knew he had no right to seek for help nor he deserved it.

‘’ I’m not doing this for you.’’ Lucille shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

‘’ Then for who? ‘’ It was getting more and more complex for Negan to figure out in his drunken state.

‘’ I mean you’ve always had a fucked-up mind, but you were also sharp. So, you tell me Negan.’’ She took a step toward him.

‘’ I’d say Lilith but, well… she’s gone.’’ Negan swallowed hardly. The gulp in his throat was getting bigger.

‘’ So, you say?’’ Lucille smirked knowingly.

‘’ IS SHE ALIVE? PLEASE TELL ME!’’ Negan got up from the bed and kneeled in front of Lucille.

‘’ Isn’t it funny that fears become wishes, Negan?’’ Lucille mocked his ex-husband. She’s not used to see him in such a pathetic state. She mumbled ‘good’ under her breath. ‘’ When you left Lilith, the last thing you wanted was to see her again. What has changed?’ She smirked but the sign of sympathy didn’t appear on her beautiful features, instead her face was full of ferocity.

Negan couldn’t keep his tears at bay anymore, at this point he’s crying like a pathetic dog. Yes, the woman he’d loved once was being extremely hard on him but his pain didn’t matter shit to him. All he wanted was Lilith to be alive, even if it’s without him.’ Please tell me she’s alive. Please, I beg you.’’ He started sobbing violently.

‘’ It depends. You’re probably going to treat her as badly as the last time.’’ Lucille shrugged her shoulders in a careless manner.

He started to hyperventilate. ‘’ I fucking promise I will never hurt her ever again. If she’s alive and ready to accept me, I’ll do my fucking best to make it up to her. Just please fucking tell me if she’s alive.’’

Lucille took a deep breath. Her eyes were shining mischievously. ‘’ Well then.’’ She bit her lower lip. ‘’ Yes, she’s alive Negan but she’s not doing very well as you can guess.’’

‘’I-I-I’d do everything for her to be happy… and if she doesn’t want me then I’ll go my own way. I just want the best for her.’’ Tears were running down on his face violently. His eyes were blood shot and puffy, his nose was running down but he couldn’t care less. This a month and a half has been the worst he’s ever experienced. He thought nothing could beat the day Lucille died but he was wrong.

Negan struggled at controlling his shaking hands. The balloon growing inside him was pressing into his chest. His breath got caught in his throat and he couldn’t mutter a word, just a chocked sob came out. The last time he had a panic attack was when he found out Lucille has cancer.

Watching the miserable man before her, Lucille put her delicate hand on his shoulder in a supporting manner. ‘’ Stand up and go to sleep. Maybe you’ll wake up to your old life next morning. Who knows?’’ She purred.

He stood up like an obedient child, but he had one question in his mind. ‘’Lucille, why are you being this good to me?’’

Lucille laughed. ‘’Oh dear, I’m not being good to you, now go back to sleep. If you’re lucky maybe you’d see her in your dream tonight.’’ And with that she disappeared.

Lilith was dancing slowly in her room. That was her coping mechanism. Whenever a bad thing happens, she tries to get over it with dancing and most of the time it helps but this time she felt like there’s nothing that could soothe her pain.

It’s been two weeks and the pain had started to annoy her, since childhood she hadn’t been good with dealing her negative emotions and the last one was the biggest blow. Feeling sad and in pain drove her crazy. Now, she’s mad at his asshole ex-fiancé also herself. She didn’t know when she’d fallen that deep for the man who ruined her life in a single night. Before, she didn’t realize how much he meant to her and it hurt more knowing that he was probably the only one for her.

Five days ago, she went back to Negan’s place to gather her things, but nobody was at home and there was no sign of Negan had been there for a long time. His car and motorbike were in the garage, but his clothes were absent in his wardrobe. Who knows, maybe he’d already found a lover. Thinking of that possibility hurt Lilith in the ways she could’ve never guessed before.

Rubbing her eyes, she took a deep breath and stared herself at mirror. The song was over, and she was a little bit tired. She watched herself for a few minutes. Her bright blue eyes were slightly red and swollen just like her plump lips. Her nose was running down, and the tip was a deep shade of red.

Suddenly, she heard a melody playing. She didn’t recognize it immediately, but she knew she heard it before, just couldn’t quite place when she listened to the song.

She must be forgetting things after all the crying; her head wasn’t in the right place. She unplugged the player and threw herself on bed.

When she felt a soft fingertip on her bare shoulder it’s been almost 10 minutes letting herself into the arms of slumber. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, Lilith slightly opened them.

She couldn’t help the gape that formed on her mouth when she saw the woman who she’d only knew from photographs standing before her.

It was an interesting night to begin with.

@buttercandy16 @negans-network

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan #negan x reader #negan x oc #negan angst #negan smut #negan fluff #lucille twd #lucille #negan x lilith #story: a not so merry christmas #the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd #jdm #negan twd

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highonchocolate · 3 years

Text

Take Two: The Guardian in Gotham Chapter 6

First Previous Next Ao3

Notes:

Trigger warning: self hatred, and demeaning thoughts towards oneself. Skip the bold text if that’s a trigger. Also blood and descriptions of fighting. Skip the first paragraph if that’s a trigger. When the speech is in italics, that means they are speaking in another language. I will say which one it is, so you can know because there are two other languages.

---

The room was shrouded in an ethereal darkness. Marinette looked around and screamed at the ghostly form of Chat Blanc lurking in the flickering shadows of the balcony. His bloodstained white hands reached for her as ice blue eyes gleamed with dark energy. She raised her arm to block the blow before shoving him away and running for the door. Her hands grasped desperately for the handle as a large hand grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the side. She stumbled back into the dresser, and with a snarl he lunged. A flash of light on gleaming claws, and then there was nothing but blood and hurt and the rasping sounds of her shallow, fading, breaths. She heard the ‘whoosh’ of a boot slicing through air, and felt a crack as it connected with her ribs. Knife sharp pain lanced through her chest, and she choked on her blood as he smirked down at her. He tuned and brought one red stained finger to his mouth before smiling at the taste and disappearing from the room. Too late. She thought as he vanished in the warm light of the sunrise. Too late. Then her vision went dark and she knew no more.

---

Marinette woke up screaming. Looking at the dark room around her she nearly fell out of bed in her haste to turn on the table lamp. As the dim light flooded the room, she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, eyes flickering to corners in a search for shadows that weren’t there. She stayed like that, trembling and shaking with muffled sobs as the Kwami tried to comfort her, for almost an hour before she felt confident enough to move.

Even then, when she eased into her wheelchair, she stayed away from the balcony, and kept her eyes firmly on her sewing. The repetitive motions soothed her as she worked, and calmed her rattled mind. When her alarm for 6:30 began blaring, she stopped working and got ready for school.

Looking in the mirror, she made eye contact with herself and winced at her appearance. Deep bags were under her eyes, and her gaze was shadowed with the memories of her nightmare. She grabbed her concealer and got to work. She moved to let her hair down, and then flinched as the memories of Chat Blanc assaulted her mind.* She knew Adrien would never hurt her, but sometimes she would look at him, and all she could see was a world that had drowned and a shattered moon hanging in the sky.

Shuddering, she hugged herself around the waist before tying her hair into her signature pigtails.

The familiar actions calmed her down enough that she could manage to make her way downstairs. Her body felt heavy, and she was both exhausted and wide awake. She wheeled into the room, and was immediately met with several pairs of blue eyes looking her way. Blue eyes….

Tikki nudged her softly through her pocket. At the gesture, she steeled herself and pushed past the memories to make eye contact with everyone and smile. Then she sat down, and the flood of horrors suffocated her again. Moving on autopilot, she mechanically ate her breakfast before wheeling to the car, not noticing the concerned glances of the family.

---

Damian was not worried.

He simply noticed that when Dupain-Cheng had walked into the room, she had flinched slightly upon making eye contact with everyone in the family. Everyone in the family but him and Alfred. She had forced a smile onto her face a second later, and as she ate, she seemed to not notice the rest of her surroundings. Father had called her name three times, and she had not responded even once. Then she had taken her plate to the sink, and wheeled to the car without even looking at any of them.

So no, he was not worried, just curious.

---

As the car pulled up to Gotham Academy, Marinette felt her fear rise. Would this school be just like her old one? Spoiled bullies and liars getting her into trouble? What if her classmates hated her? What if they called her a charity case? ‘It would be true, though.’ She laughed bitterly to herself. ‘Poor Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Can’t even deal with a single bully, so she has to escape to a county all the way across the ocean.’ She clawed her way out of the self loathing enough to open the door and climb out of the car. As she made her way into the school behind Damian, heard the whispers and glances of the students she passed in the hallways. Saw how their eyes lingered on the bruises that were still too painful to cover with makeup, how they focused on her stitches and glanced at her leg. She felt their pitying stares on her back as she wheeled into the office.

The secretary, a young woman with long brunette hair, didn’t even look up as she entered the room. “How can I help you?” She snapped, all business as her fingers clacked at the keyboard. “My name is Marinette, um, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m a transfer student, and I need my schedule.” She muttered, feeling insecure at the poorly-disguised hostility rolling off the woman in waves. “Right, here you go. Make sure you’re not late, your first class starts in five minutes.” She snapped as she reached out with one hand to give her the schedule. “Thank you.” She mumbled before turning to leave. She didn’t even look away from the screen, only giving her an absentminded “Uh-huh, no problem.” Getting the message, Marinette turned and wheeled out the door.

As she made her way to her first class (Damian having left her at the office with barely a backward glance), Marinette thanked her Ladybug luck for giving her classes on the first floor. She stopped in front of her first class (Physics with Mr. Henway, how wonderful) and knocked twice before rolling in at the muffled “Yes, come in.” she heard.

Opening the door, she surveyed the classroom and noticed nobody was looking at her-a stark contrast to the hallways where she had felt like an exhibit on display. She turned to the teacher, an older man with a stern grandfatherly air about him. “Hello sir, where should I sit?” She asked quietly.

He looked up when she spoke, and immediately let out a loud gasp that garnered most of the room’s attention. “Good golly child, what happened to you?! You look like you just went three rounds with one of Scarecrow's goons!” Feeling the incredulous stares of the people in the class, she shifted awkwardly in her seat and repeated her earlier question.

Realizing she wasn’t going to answer, he sighed and motioned to a spot in the front row.

She took her place and tried to ignore her rising blush, and the rest of her classmate’s glances as he began teaching.

The rest of her classes passed in a similar manner: shocked teacher, repeated glances, quiet muttering she tried to ignore. She met a group of four other kids that were quick to latch on and include her in their conversations. She learned their names were Claude, Allegra, Bridgette, and Felix, and she hoped they would become friends. She ignored the voices hissing in her ear: ‘They’re going to abandon you. Nobody loves you. Everyone around you hates you. They all want you to go away. They’re just being polite to the new kid because they pity you.’ as she accepted their invitation to eat lunch with them. Even with her newfound friends, lunch was the worst, as the whole room kept looking at her. Felix and Allegra glared threateningly over her head as Bridgette and Claude tried to draw her into conversation. Feeling anxious, she ducked her head down, and ate quickly, trying to ignore everything.

By the time school was over, she was drowning in a sea of insecurity and anxiety, and she barely heard Alfred call her name over the ringing in her ears. Latching on to his voice like a lifeline, she hurried into the car, and slumped against the seat with a shaky sigh.

“What's wrong, Miss Marinette?” Alfred asked as they drove to the Manor. She heard Damian tut behind her and mutter “Can’t even get through one day at school.” Blushing with embarrassment, she quickly answered “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Seeing his unconvinced stare, she hurried to add to her excuse. “There were just so many people, and it was kind of overwhelming. But I’m okay.” She saw him nod in acceptance, and let loose a relieved exhale as she leaned back in her seat and watched the buildings go by.

---

She wheeled into the Manor, feeling relieved to get away from all the crowding and stares at school. Making her way through the house, she gave Bruce a small wave as she passed him in the hallway. This day was totally awful. Nothing can make it any worse than it already is.’ She thought to herself as she entered the living room. Noticing Jason, Dick, and Tim watching a show, she lifted her hand to wave, but then brought it to her bag as her phone rang. Checking the caller ID, she smiled to see Chloé’s name flash across the screen. She nodded in greeting instead, and answered the call.

“Hey Chloé, what’s up?” she spoke as she sat down on the couch next to Jason. “Maribug! Fu’s completely lost it!” She shrieked over the phone. The sound was so loud, Marinette had to pull the phone away from her ear with a wince. “Tone it down a bit, Chlo. What do you mean?” She asked, trying to speak calmly. “He won’t stop mumbling to himself, and at random times he’ll just stare at the wall blankly!” The girl answered, though at a much quieter volume. Marinette frowned and switched to French, hoping the others weren’t fluent. “Well, I think that behavior should be normal for a man that just had memories from over 150 years of his life erased.” Someone choked on air behind her. ‘So much for them not knowing French.’ She thought. She was totally screwed. Her thoughts were interrupted by Chloé speaking again. “No he says the Demon is coming!” Marinette paused. “Chloé,” she spoke carefully, “you need to tell me his exact words. Now.” Her voice hardened at the end; it was not a request. Sensing the importance, Chloé immediately became serious. “It was mostly mumbling, and I couldn’t make out most of what he said, but I heard something about Al Guhl, and eternal life.” Forget what she had thought earlier. Apparently there was something that could make this day worse. For being a Holder of Luck, she sure was unlucky. She tried to calm her breathing, and tried to keep the panic out of her voice. “You’re absolutely sure he said that? You weren’t just hearing things?” “Yeah, that's exactly what he said. Is something wrong?” Chloé responded, sounding worried. She let out a laugh, but it sounded strained. “Yes. If I’m hearing you correctly, Master Fu was talking about League of Assassins.” She spoke in the language of the Guardians to make sure the rest of the room didn’t understand her words. Chloé sucked in a breath before cursing loudly. “Yeah, we’re totally fucked.” Marinette muttered an agreement before ending the call. She dropped her head into her hands and groaned loudly at the thought of dealing with assassins on top of everything else. “Mari? Are you okay? That conversation was kind of concerning.” Dick questioned gently, looking supremely worried. Marinette smiled up at him. “No, everything’s good. I got it handled. Just some issues with...a mentor of mine. Nothing big.” She lied, before making up an excuse. “I have a lot of homework to do, so I’m going to go work on it.” She shot the three of them another fake grin, before wheeling out of the room without waiting for their response.

---

Taglist: @laurcad123 (let me know if you want to be tagged)

---

More Notes: *In the episode Chat Blanc, Marinette wore her hair down after the identity reveal, so I’m making that a trigger because she associates that with Adrien’s eventual akumatization. This is not an Adrien salt fic!! It’s just her own trauma making her fear him sometimes. Also, I know her wrist brace came off, but it’s still sore which is why she’s using the wheelchair instead of crutches. And in school we weren’t allowed to carry book bags (students might be hiding guns or weapons) so you had to carry your things around. In Gotham that would also be logical, so with that in mind it would be hard for Mari to get around with crutches and carry her things simultaneously.

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #damian wayne #adrien agreste #chloe bourgeois #luka couffaine #kagami tsurugi #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #lila rossi #alya cesaire #lila salt #class salt

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auriel187 · 3 years

Text

Purgatory Ch.1

Word count: 8500 (around)

Warnings: Creepy Capitals being Creepy Capitals...

Pairings: None yet (ship who you want)

The Conclave

In times I tremble, I hold onto my heart knowing their safety is more important than my own.

In krono mhe slipp lowa, mhe kep onto mi beeta knowing demens secur is masal imprativ than mi own.

Eulalia

The cityscape was unapologetically urban. There were no trees or city planted blooms, just monoliths of concrete and glass soaring out of the sidewalk in an exact grid pattern. At night it was beautiful in it's own way, there were so many lights. By day you relied on the sky to let you know that it wasn't a monochromatic world; just one in which the people were too busy for life. For over a generation progress had meant the teaching of specific skill sets to the children of The Felicity and The Hope Rises. In most parts of this city we only work and eat, there was no time to sweep fall leaves or plant spring flowers, so they eliminated them. It was sad how mundane and rigid life became. There was no beauty, hardly even enough to notice the blue above. With no more designers, our clothing and cars never change, there are five styles of everything in Ellis, but you’ll very rarely see different districts dressed the same way. In this way our city outperforms those in the region.

In the mind of the young outcast I used to be, it was like a story to me. One that became more and more like a nightmare as time ripped every shred of innocence from my life.

The coldness of the slate tile and it's dampness seeped through the thin polyester trousers my brother, Hami, had stolen from the market. With knees pulled tight to my pronounced rib cage I shivered in the early morning chill. In this poor light the roof-tops spread in every direction like great grey serpents with rectangular scales. Only the red brick chimneys ruined the illusion, but in this light they were just as monochromatic as everything else, the slate, the swirling smog, the streets that were never deserted, the unfriendly sky with its dense cloud robbing me of the sunrise. From here I could see what a maze this borough was, every house three stories and each joined to the next. The streets curved as if laid down on a whim a few centuries ago before anyone had conceived of a grid pattern idea.

There I’d stay while I waited for school to begin, in my ripped khakis and oversized faded maroon shirt. There I’d stay telling myself stories of brave heroes who had it all wishing I could be one of them. Hungry, cold and tired from all the city had to give me, was it selfish of me to wish this on the little girl in my class who called me by the wrong name telling me I’d live the rest of my life covered in mud and shit and drinking out of a clogged gutter?

From the Mass, you could see all the things to love about the city, and there was a lot to love about this city. It was one thing I loved about Capital Hill. From the high arches in the towering glass buildings to the balconies that look over the sea of homes and businesses. It was one of the things I never had back home. The views from here were stunning. I could see The Torch glistening in the golden rays of sunlight, and the sense of safety that fills me is almost overwhelming. “Miss Suarez,” I heard behind me as I felt the soft breeze hitting the apples of my cheeks. The stray hairs behind my ears flailed about behind my ears as I turned to face the intruder now standing before me. He practically filled the doorway, in his uniform that made him look more like a cinder block than a man. His half shaved black hair glistened in the light before he took a step toward me. “The work day is over for you. There’s gonna be a Conclave later this evening at The Torch.”

I tried to keep my face as neutral as possible, but judging by the way he held back his laughter I guess I failed. “What for?” I proceeded on as if I didn’t realise the cameras were there, and Seraphineas was living for it. Now it was his turn to roll his eyes as he chuckled boredly, “Maybe it’s another execution...or maybe they’re announcing a new system in place that only benefits them.” It was impossible not to hear the humour in his deep voice as he mocked the Capitals and the past Conclaves. Of course, knowing that he would never say anything like this in front of his other guard buddies really put a damper on things. He must’ve seen my fading smile because he immediately turned to walk me out. I slipped into the elevator, the wall of glass turned into a mirror. I see why people assumed we were related. We were both relatively tall, him at six feet and myself at almost five foot eight. Thin figures adorned with muscle that came from our unique forms of exercise. “The Conclave begins at five. You’ll be charted too so be careful.” Phineas warned me as we exited the elevator just before we parted ways.

Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. You’d think something like that would bother a girl, but no. I’ve lived in this city my whole life. A girl gets used to the threats disguised as requests. They don’t just crash suddenly before you like lightning in a storm, I’ve known them to be the sudden raindrop before a downpour. It reminded me of the unease I felt every time I entered The Felicity. The Capital Hill district was beautiful. With their grand buildings and picturesque views, it was easy to say how much nicer it was then The Barrens or The Shadows. It was just another monster behind the curtain. A puppeteer pulling the strings of laws and lives of the people around them. They were an oxygen mask filled with poisonous gas to anyone that wasn’t their own. Luckily, I was close enough for them to view my life worth saving if shit ever happened.

I was a Regal now. Almost thirty eight percent of the population, we were almost untouchable in the eyes of society. We were privileged and we knew it, most of us acting like assholes because of it. I knew better. I used to be part of the forty two percent of Ellis. In short, my family was living ration to ration, sick and in a small house that was barely standing. I had a mother who worked her ass off just to come home to four kids and a father I barely knew because he was off working the most shifts he could. Unfortunately, the whole family plan didn’t work out when my mother and brothers all got Galixx, leaving only my dad and I.

I think we lived because we weren’t always home. I was the only one who went to school. Maybe if they didn’t think to send me away, I could’ve been with them. Instead, I left for school everyday and came home one day to my crying mother holding my brother, Devis, whose face was covered with sweat, dirt and tears as he coughed up blood. I turned and ran outside my home and began screaming until I found one of the town guard. I don’t know who long it took me to find him but when we got back, my mother was wailing and begging for the guard to take me away as she started coughing between her sobs.

I went to bed that night with tear stains running down my face, and to make matters worse, I was completely alone. I didn’t call anyone, simply sitting in my room with my eyes screwed shut until I eventually dozed off.

I woke up the next morning with a guard outside ready to escort me to my new home. My new home in The Hope Rises. It was nicer than my old home there was also more room up here not that my dad would be spending much time at home. It didn’t matter though, I was never completely alone. We all had our own family, mine just came in the form of Tauriel.

She was at the root of most of my happy memories. From my first day of school when she braided my hair and told me stories from books she had read from before the bunkers opened. I’d spend some nights at her house doing homework. She never really paid attention to anything aside from Earth Class. It was considered a Rogue class, but that didn’t stop a few Blends from coming in. Maybe she was interested because of the books she read of mountains that reached clouds, or butterflies with bright wings and this class was the closest thing to actually learning about them. She just wanted a world beyond these walls. I understood that. It just made us better friends. Even when I changed districts, we were still inseparable.

But, as Murphy’s Law dictates, “Everything that can go wrong will.” It was one of those days where Tauriel’s mom and I were baking for some Capital party. One of the snobby events where they needed catering and waiters. Zenobia, Tauriel’s mother, had been working for hours and seemed glad to have the assistance of a twelve year old. I had been decorating the large cake when I heard screaming from outside. Zenobia quickly ran to the window and nearly passed out. I muttered ‘Tori?’ before I was out the front door, seeing three guards trying to cuff her and shocking her into submission. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Her mom asked, trying to make it for her child. “Your child hacked into a government system with intent to distribute information.” I saw red, almost jumping on the guard closest to me. “She’s eleven, you lunatics!” Her mother reached for her daughter and the guard holding her hit her in the stomach. Tauriel and I froze. I didn’t know where to look. From the guard beating Zenobia to the guards dragging Tauriel to a large truck and throwing her in. I took a step in Tauriel’s direction and regretted it instantly.

A loud clang echoed behind me and Zenobia was lying on the ground, the guard walking to the truck without a second thought. When I ran to the unconscious woman, the truck drove away and I was stuck. Do I run for help or do I stay with her? I couldn’t shake the memory of my mom and Devis and what if I could just have faster? I need to stay with her. I’m not risking it again.

“Miss Fa Suarez?” I heard a voice say from behind me. I only turn my head but I stay pretty much in place as the swaying of the shuttle brings me back to the world I should be in. “It’s your stop.” He looks concerned. In his words, I’m usually ‘sharp as a tack’. I walk to the front of the shuttle and reach into my pocket. He’s here everyday. From my six AM trips to The Felicity straight to my trips back home at eight PM. “Take a day.” I say handing him my fair, plus another tip for waiting for me to get off. He never accepts my tips, but that doesn’t stop me from stuffing it in the small basket where he keeps his personal belongings. “This is why I got you these. Tell that sister yours I said to eat.” He handed me four wraps. I nodded my thanks at the sweet old man. “My love to the greats.” He laughed at my words before watching to make sure I descended the shuttle safely.

I turned towards my building. A large gold bricked building not very many stories high, but it was honestly much smaller on the inside than one would think when examining the building from outside. The air was cold here, it always was. With Tauriel constantly in the garage and having several pieces of machinery, the cool air prevented her and I from becoming casualties of her rage. She only ever got into tinkering when she was pissed. Based on the loud echoing clanking I could hear echoing from downstairs, I figured she’d need time to cool off and maybe put down whatever large metal object was colliding with her desk. In any sense, we had to be at a Conclave in a few hours.

My room wasn’t very big, only enough space to place my bed and two drawers. The room already had a large closet in the back so it’s not like I needed much in here anyways. The bronze and turquoise lights that swirled designs in my room. The premise of light and shadow was always appealing to me, maybe because it accrued anywhere and remained a natural part of life no matter what district you lived in. I headed towards my closet in search of something formal for the Conclave. I was never one for overt femininity, having been taught at a young age to not give a crap about what I look like and to just get the work done. That being said, I always managed to find a dress or two that I really did like. Scouring through pieces of cotton and linen, I stopped suddenly when I saw it again. A distressed brown leather coat.

It was just a jacket. It was just a stupid leather jacket with a padded quilt patch on the left elbow and a crap ton of buckles. There were faded letters on the left chest and a sort of mesh material that would cover my knuckles. It was just a jacket, and I loved it. Like a hidden piece of me that I never really show. This jacket screamed Rogue in uppercase letters. I loved that, even though I hadn’t been a Rogue in sixteen years. It almost felt wrong to wear it sometimes. Like I was an impostor trying to pass as something I wasn’t. I wasn’t even close.

I always envied Tauriel in that regard. Despite living here in The Regal Ward, The Hope Rises, with me, she never seemed to fear being shunned for not attempting to fit into the higher classed district. Fiercely adorning leather and denim in her everyday attire, she looked more like a Rogue than a Blend. Then again, why try fitting in when the world already looks down on you. Being that Tauriel’s district accounted for only one percent, and having been around Rogues most of her life it was easy to understand why she might be more comfortable in leather and studs.

“Are you wearing that tonight?” I heard her ask behind me. I should’ve figured she was on her way up when the banging and crashing ceased. I was holding the jacket in my hands, my fingers running over the cuff. “No...it doesn’t go with anything I own.” I gave my reply, letting my eyes drift past the coat and toward some of the other items of clothing in the confined space. I grab an old dress. The ornate gold dress collar along the black halter top matched the asymmetrical leaves on the red rose skirt. If it still fits like I remember, it should stop a little above my knee. “I’ll be in the shower. Do you…” before I could even finish asking, she responded. “Yes.” And with that, I left.

I spent almost thirty minutes in the bathroom, I was wrapped in my robe with my hair soaking wet. In the mirror, I hold my own gaze for just a second before taking into account how tired I must look. The bags under my eyes were devastatingly prominent. I don’t look at myself often, too afraid to not recognize myself from the old photos I had hanging in my room, and I was right. My features are sharper now, more pronounced jaw, higher cheekbones, and my eyes look more almond than monolid. I look like my mom. Though her hair was shiny black and mine was dark brown and my eyes are slightly darker than hers, I can still see it sickeningly clear. I placed my hand on the scar on my neck, remembering where my birthmark used to be. Descended from Natives and Malaysian ancestors, teachers at school would tell me that the very DNA in my bones held more history than our textbooks.

I’d know. I read them all.

It wasn’t much but keeping my hair down with a braid securely clipped behind my ears, neither Tauriel nor I had any makeup so my bare face and simple hairdo, Just dry your tears and fake a smile. Nobody wants to see a Regal cry. “You know, your eyes are going to get all puffed up. Here.” Tauriel stood behind me clutching a bottle of eye drops. I smiled at my oldest friend before I slung my arm over her shoulder and we walked to her room. I could never imagine my life without her. At this point, she was all I had to live for.

My little sister. I would walk from Heaven to Hell (and everywhere in between) for.

Tauriel

I always hated Conclaves. They always seemed too public. Ironic when you think about it. The word ‘conclave’ actually meant private meeting so the large citywide events seemed like a lie. I felt almost pageant-ish, told to look my best because of how many “eligible bachelors” there were. I honestly just think it’s because the Capitals would never want to be seen with the lower districts in our ‘rags and cheap coats’. In my opinion, the clothes the lower districts could afford only seemed to make the Capitals look more classy, almost like they were subtly jabbing at us in a way that said “haha, even in your best you’re not at level with our best.” And if we were looking to impress the eligible, more attractive people, The Rogues held that trophy for decades. Honestly, the glassy dullness of Capitals creeped me out. I wasn’t the only one who thought that either, the distinct features of each district were almost immediately identifiable.

The Capitals, born and raised in Capital Hill (aka The Felicity) had the most interesting eyes in the world, very distinctive for their central heterochromic irises that housed multiple colours at a time. That and the fact that most of them were fat faced from being able to eat was a dead giveaway. They look like the Bill Nye bobblehead Eulalia had on her desk. Capital also wore their hair short. I never understood why, but long hair was a sign of rebellion against the “oppressive and derogatory order of the Capital men.” I’ll give you one guess what demographic was saying shit like that. I’ll give you a hint, they steal daddy’s cards and mommy’s rocks to go flirt with the Rogue boys much to the disapproval of the elders. Acting like they were edgy for going through the same phase as their mothers did, before they realize that Rogue men don’t give a fuck about rocks unless it gets them paid.

The Regals were similar, wearing their hair slightly longer. Most had extremely lean frames due to the training most of them worked for since the age of six to become a guard. The Regal Ward housed most of the idiotic soldier boys, I was honestly surprised when a Regal came along and decided that they would rather sell booze to the city rather than tote a gun and act like you owned the place. Most regal women (like Eulalia) studied for the higher grades, like doctors and lawyers. It was cool to see Regals, though. Their tag was their hair. Yes it was usually cut short but I think they made up for it with the silver that rimmed their hair from birth.

Rogues were almost unbelievable in their district appearance. They had all the most beautiful features from their naturally sharp jawlines with either dimples or freckles (sometimes both). The boys usually had long hair, mostly because the Government didn’t think it was a good idea to give Rogues and Infects access to sharp edged tools, partly because most of them thought they looked tough. They were all ripped, boys and girls from years of literal heavy lifting. I always considered myself lucky to be a Blend in that regard. We always got some kind of Rogue gene. I dawned dimples. My Jawline wasn’t as defined but I had that feature and I was glad I did. Eulalia was of Native descent so her bone structure resembled a statue carved of marble.

Eulalia kept fidgeting with the metal collar on her dress, her jacket fitting her narrow frame as the dress hung above her knees. I know for a fact how much she hated wearing tight, single layers. Regales often wore baggy jumpers with tattered looking overlayers. It was the perfect look for her. Mostly Regal but with an obvious Rogue history. “Hey.” I whispered, her head snapping down to me due to her not only being a few inches taller than me but in heels nearly the same height Seraphineas. “You okay?” I asked. The huge influx of people walking towards The Torch, once a mighty statue.

She always had this moment where she stands just out of view of the guard. The Conclaves would separate people based on district and having only recently (not recently) turned twenty one, the word Regal was now branded on her identifications, she still felt like a traitor for standing with them. She nodded, softly patting my hand before walking towards the desk. I did the same.

“Hold out your hand please.” A woman asked, holding a large glass plate with a few small censors out to me. It was cold under my palms as it scanned the fingerprints. My face appeared on a small screen in front of the woman. It must’ve had the words Bruise in big block letters because the demeanor of this woman changed as she stared me down. She quickly gripped my arm and clasped a large silver cuff on my wrist. Could she feel me rolling my eyes at this? I huffed a laugh at her attempt to be nonchalant. She has to know how obvious it is that she now fears a twenty three year old. I stared at the blinking light as I walked through the stone arch that led to the city center. The four sectors were at least proportional to the Districts population, Blends/ Bruises having the least amount of people. I stood in the back, my eyes glancing over to the Regal section where I attempted to find Eulalia. I can see Seraphineas walking down the row and walking towards the back of the section. The silver streaks in his shortened hair I can recognize immediately, even in the sea of silver headed citizens. He liked to dye his hair darker, I know he tries to keep his hair as neutral as possible as to not get busted right away when he gets sent undercover, but that only made the silver look like a slate blue.

The microphone screamed. A short, sickly woman stood on the stage with a tall, semi healthy looking man. They were Capital to the heights accord. The Jevons to be exact. They were the parents to three kids. Spoiled like asshats as most people like to call them. They come to the Mopes once a week. They go thrifting cause it sounds real fun and looks real cool when a Capital is down to get down, while they wear their false lashes that wave like flags to the men here. I can see their eldest, a girl by the name of Apathy and yes she lives up to her name. A narcissist who spends her time ridiculing the districts for the fact that The Felicity robs us blind. Places like The Barrens and The Bounds were trash holes where the people should bow down and kiss her feet. The only reason she even dares cross the boundary is to find a piece of ass they’d dump after a month anyway.

Even now, Apathy and Power (yes, Elodora and Zenier Jevon named their son Power) were basking in the spotlight of Capital glory, whilst Anarchy, the youngest, was staring off into the Regal section with her lower lip between her teeth. Apparently mommy and daddy’s speech was a bore. She really thought she was somebody though. Her honey gold tresses dangle to her lower back rather than the neatly buzzed pixie most of the women wore.

“We celebrate another year of safety and sanctity behind the walls of Ellis...” The woman on stage spoke in a shrill voice that instantly made my whole brain throb. Can this day get any better? Well yes actually. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the one and only October Vervent. I was nearly four years older than him and I'm thoroughly convinced he’s been taller than me since birth. I slowly weaved my way through the section to find the taller young man. I pat his shoulder causing him to jump slightly and smile almost immediately. His mother was a Rogue, just like mine. His jawline was more rounded, less sharp than most Rogues and Blends. He was of Chinese descent, which gave him shiny black hair that only cut off below his ears with a single streak of silver just behind his left ear. Just below but still in sight, was a tattoo that read “I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” Well, that’s one way to tell the world you’re deaf and mute.

I knew he had spent the better half of ten minutes reading the lips of the Jevons standing on the large metal podium. I turned to face him. He followed suit with an even bigger smile. I saw two small scars just above his ears. I’ll have to do something with that later. “It is our pleasure to present the recipients of this year's Grands.” Elodora continued with her rehearsed and very poorly executed speech. I normally would have stopped listening by now, but October needed a break from people being completely oblivious to his needs and the needs of people like him. I began signing to him, each word they said. “Mara Fox of the Barrens District. An extra one hundred was added to your wage, congratulations on receiving Dead Eye, Miss Fox.” A knew the name. I’m sure Everybody did. Every member of the Fox family walking the earth had naturally bright red hair. Mara was the only one with a fiery red.

She walked up on stage almost gingerly. The apprehension in her warm brown eyes as she twisted the material of her dusty rose dress, which was actually just an oversized T shirt with bleach stains and burn holes at the bottom. Her hair was in an updo. The front was twisted up to the right side of her head with a long braid that wrapped the rest into a sock bun. The smile on her face was fake. She usually had these deep dimples in her cheeks when she smiled. She was on the stage, the uncomfortable feeling that this was some kind of sick joke was evident by her wandering eyes. The part that made me sick, though, was when Zenier Jevon looked her up and down, biting his lip at the exposed fair skin of her legs. He stared at her almost greedily as he shook her hand. He was married with three demon children and was currently drooling at the thought of being with a twenty five year old on a public stage. A girl the same age as his youngest daughter with his wife standing right next to him as the creep caressed her hand. Were all men in power this fucking gross? She bid the couple a near silent thank you as she practically flew off the stage.

A low applause filled the room as she returned to her place with all the other Rogues and Infects. Everyone began to move out of the aisle, heading for the doors when, “The next recipient of this grand is…” What the hell? In the 23 years I’ve lived in the city and all the Conclaves I attended, there was never more than one recipient. Never has there been multiple. Ever. The crowds all stood frozen. Something wasn’t quite right about this. “...Eulalia Fa Suarez!”

Something definitely was right here.

Eulalia looked more confused than I thought she would. Her eyes narrowed as she slowly walked to the stage. She kept shooting questioning looks to both Seraphineas and I as she shook the hands of the Jevon’s on stage. Xenier had the fakest of fake smiles before he practically pushed her off the stage, where the crowd raised their hands in an awkwardly pushed applause. October and I didn't applaud though. I think he might’ve been able to sense my worry because even as I stood completely spaced out, staring at the empty space where Eulalia was standing not that long ago.

“The next grand being received,” I snapped out of my daze and signed to October. I know he was able to read lips but honestly he deserved all the help the world had to offer. “Thayer Michaels for bringing in the most food for the city!” Eladora spoke pridefully as the Rogues and Blends (Infects and Bruises included) either scoffed or dramatically rolled their eyes. Of course we did. Regals had the highest population and spent most days begging for scraps. Blends were treated just the same unless both parents were in the picture. Capitals were less than fifteen percent of Ellis and for some ridiculous reason, they deem themselves more important than every other district taking first picks of long hauls and leaving enough for them to have a chuckle watching the poorest of citizens fight for stale bread or and water rations.

I wasn’t complaining. If anyone deserved the grand, it was Mara Fox, EulaliaFa Suarez and Thayer Michaels. Mara Fox, when she wasn’t doing the wood work or in the meat room, spent hours teaching young Rogues how to read, giving them the education most of them had to give up in order to eat. Eulalia bought big portions of food and would walk the streets of the Barren giving food to families. She cries when she comes back and begs me not to ask about it. In guilt, she pushes to raise the ration fund for Capitals and Regals before she offers her leisure time (which she barely has) to teach kids in the neighborhoods that had no doctors basic medical skills. Thayer spent his time not hunting as a caretaker. He would walk October and a few other people to and from places, getting them groceries and even playing with them in parks. It didn’t need to be said that October was his favorite. October was partial to him too, if the smile that was currently on his face said anything as he watched the much taller, much older man walk on stage. He deserved it. All three of them did, but giving them grands to commemorate for all they’ve done almost exclusively for The Felicity made them seem far less noble.

At this point, for October, I tried not to focus on the fact that Eladore was eyeing Thayer the same way Zenier was eyeing Mara. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

When the Conclave ended, there was this feeling of unease. October and I still stood side by side as the Capitals made their way out first, not wanting to be surrounded by the lowest of lows for longer than necessary. They also just got to leave. Every other district was either held back to get your cuff taken off or you were waiting for someone who did. Yet another way to separate us and treat us like crap. All because I have a flashy red label next to my name. To hell with it all. I stood in the line watching as people existed around me. I never felt like I was existing anywhere close to them. Eulalia was having a conversation with October, Mara was having a moment with her boyfriend and Seraphineas is breaking up a fight. Oh this chaotic world of mine.

“You know,” I heard a deep voice behind me. An air of familiarity hit and shifted to my comfortable numbness once I knew who it was. “The point is for you to move up when people leave, right. Don’t tell me you grew attached to that thing.” Yup, same old Thayer. I took a few steps forward closing the gap between me and the tall Rogue girl in front of me. “Still not much of a talker, huh, Jailbait?” He said quietly enough so only I could hear him. Part of me wanted to clock him for bring up that stupid ass nickname. Another part wanted to give a smart ass reply. I was so in my own head, I missed the opportunity. “You always did prefer hunks of metal to people.” He bit. I just knew the bastard had a smirk on his face right now. “Hunks of metal don’t talk and aren’t nearly as narcissistic.” I responded, adamant on getting away from the prick.

I was never so glad to see a Capital in my life and this one was a real bitch. The younger woman had the angriest look in her eye when I walked up, not sure why. I don’t fuck with Capitals and the feeling was mutual. “Have you stolen any property not belonging to you during the conclave?” What the fuck was there to steal, all the shits a person could give? “No.” She sized me up before shooting a quick glance to Thayer, who was still behind me. “During the Conclave, did you skip a mandatory announcement for-” She looked at Thayer again, this time slowly taking in his features, “any reason of recreation?” Is she serious? I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, we ran off to tap dance on the Torch. I guess you caught us.” I could hear a few people snickering at my rebuttal. At least they have a sense of humour.

Eulalia

Tauriel looked about as comfortable as I thought she would. She had a scowl on her face as the attendant pried the cuff off of her wrist. “Ak heppia?” I called out to her. She turned to me with a small smile. She didn’t have to look up to see who was talking to her, I’m pretty sure only a handful of people still speak Dyselian. It made Tauriel feel safe, like people couldn’t poke their nose into our thoughts and conversations. She nodded slowly, she was alright but the exhaustion of having to deal with so many people was getting to her. “Mhe am heppia, mhe just desir to vette hadven.” I chuckled at that, because of course she just wanted to go back home. I honestly am not sure why she didn’t want to stay. Most girls would kill to get Thayer to utter a single word to them. Like most Regal boys, he was broad shouldered with rippling muscles that were obvious under any shirt and tall as hell. Who was I kidding, she'd rather break every bone than deal with her old tormenter again.

She walked over to Toby and I, glad to be with people she could actually tolerate. “U beso to gat allies!” I whispered, pinching her arm. She visibly cringed at the idea. “Mhe would rather pia in hutted.” she replied, turning to look at October. She quickly signed ‘Eula says I need to make friends.’ The taller boys tried to stifle his laughter before he signed ‘She’s right.’ Tauriel rolled her eyes before the two began to playfully bicker back and forth. I left them to their devices when I turned to notice Mara standing to the side waiting for Cecil to get his cuff off.

“Hey, Fox.” I said nudging the redhead’s shoulder. She quickly turned to face me, a smile quickly spread when she realized I wasn’t some other Regal. She whispered a quiet hello before turning to look at her boyfriend. It’s been a while since I’d seen Cecil but he grew up nice. He was now a little over six foot two, typical for Rogue males. “He asks about you two.” Mara stated seemingly out of the blue. I know she worried about him all the time, more so since he stopped coming over for exams. It was the same look in her eyes the night she called Tauriel and I to help him after a few guards thought it right to attack him. “You let him know it’s nothing for me to do an exam?” I asked as the freckled young man moved up in the line. Mara’s voice quivered as she nodded “Everyday. He doesn’t want to bother you, you being a doctor and all.” She smiled slightly when he waved our way. “He still working in the mines?” I asked. Mara scoffed, “Like he’d ever stop. Thick as he and his buddies are?” I couldn't help but laugh. Cecil definitely hadn’t changed. I nearly jumped out of my skin when the chimes rang throughout the city. Fuck!

“Tell him I say to give that shoulder a break every once in a while!” I say before I began running back to Tauriel and October. This wasn’t good. Tauriel looked ready to break something. Her fists were clenched so tight, I thought she'd pierce the skin. As quickly as I could, I signed to the two of them, ‘We need to leave. October, you’re staying at our house for tonight.’ Tauriel froze in place. I only sent her a sympathetic smile when October ran to grab his protector. Thayer had placed his hoodie over October as we all started to Tori and my building. We walked the back alleys and listened for the easy to identify marching of the guards.

I’m not surprised that Thayer is good at this. He was a hunter. Standing at nearly six six, he is both light on his feet and stealthy. I imagine his training was horrifying but I know for a fact that he learned his skills while he was in prison not when he got out. He had the same urgent distrust of his surroundings that Tauriel has whenever she leaves our house. What the fuck did they do to them?

Tauriel sneaks to the back of the building and then there’s silence. I held my breath as I waited for her. I smiled when I heard a whistle emit from around the corner. We were behind the building in a second as she held the window open. She turned to Thayer first, I know it was because he was the tallest and the window was a little more than seven feet above the ground. He went down feet first and let out a satisfied smirk when he landed. I sent October in next, only because I wanted him inside before any guards decided to check back here. I went next, grabbing onto the copper pole that hung above the window I quickly slid in. Thayer made sure to place me down on the concrete floor rather than actually let me jump. Tauriel came in and jumped from the window, closing it before the guards could see her.

We got inside just before eight. The second we entered upstairs from the basement, the alarms started blaring. They had placed a curfew after the Conclave. I can see Tauriel standing awkwardly by the door before she disappeared into the garage. October sent me a curious look and I was glad he didn’t hear what I assumed to be her shelf colliding with the ground or the string of Dyselian profanities. He didn’t need to witness that. Thayer seemed a little shocked at first but I guess he knew the feeling because he sent me a sorrowful half smile.

“Hey! Go lon out isei yella!” She reluctantly exited the garage with a kid bruise forming at her knuckles. She looked beyond pissed. “Mhe deid howa infolo! Mhe deid howa infolo it was a angaari!” She began pacing around. I sent a look to October who was all too quick to leave, practically dragging Thayer behind him as he headed upstairs. I could feel Tori’s blood boiling from here. “I knew they were up to something. I should’ve guessed there would be a trap too!” I said nothing. She was right about something weird going on. The Capitals never offered more money than necessary, they never offered grands and fundings to more than one person each. It’s fairly odd that three people won the grands and six won the funding.

We walked upstairs seeing Thayer and Toby looking for something to eat. Tauriel had walked into her room, closing the door behind her as I walked into the kitchen. October was stuffing his face with bread, not at all worried about anything today had to offer. Thayer on the other hand was standing against the wall, watching as his little brother consumed his food ravenously. I could see how hungry he was too. I tossed him a loaf of his own, standing next to him as we watched the near twenty year old fill himself while sitting on the floor. “You take great care of him.” I said quietly. Most people thought that Rogues like Thayer, tough guys who got into fights, were barbaric animals. They get told that they’re animals so much that they believe it so much.

He looked me in the eye before quickly averting his gaze to the floor. He shrugged off my compliment like it was nothing, but the itching of his lip and the dimple in his cheek let me know that he appreciated it. We sat in silence for a minute before I blurted out “Can I ask you something?” To which he laughed in response. He rolled his shoulders back and relaxed a bit. “Go ahead but I might not answer.” ‘Cheeky bastard’ I thought, rolling my eyes at him “It’s about Tauriel.” He got serious rather quickly at the mention of her name, standing up and staring at me in concern. “Sure, what’s up?” His voice dropped a bit.

“What was she like? In prison?” It hurt me to ask but I might learn something. I pretended not to notice the disappointment and guilt in his eyes even though his long hair had fallen in his eyes.He scratched the back of his neck before clearing his throat. “She was noticeable.” He smiled to himself. “When she got there, a bunch of guys sought her out as a punching bag. They learned pretty quick not to mess with her.” his voice carried such pride as he spoke it was kinda heartwarming. I knew this story. Some prick came in ready to throw punches on anyone in there, he immediately thought Tauriel would make a good target. Thayer got in the way just in time. It’s why he started calling her Jailbait. Easy pickings for a prison brawl. “She was so fucking smart! So much smarter than the guards there. Smart ass got into her fair share of trouble. They threw her in the pit the first night!” That explained a lot. “She came back with a tattoo, we all did.” He mumbled, pulling down the neckline of his shirt to reveal his collarbone. Liberties lined his skin from his collarbone to his right shoulder. “What does “people are poison” mean?” I asked suddenly. He seemed caught off guard. “It means that most people will try to kill you before they actually help you.” He must’ve noticed my furrowed brow because he immediately nudged me with his shoulder “Don’t worry. It’s about Capitals.”

I scoffed. “You definitely sound like Tauriel. She always worries. Thinks they’re monsters that suck the world around them dry.” He laughed at the idea. “You think they’re evil too?” I asked. He shook his head. “I think they know not to poison the water they need to drink.” He says picking up October, who had fallen asleep on my kitchen floor with a half eaten bread roll in his hand. “You boys take my and Tauriel’s beds. We got a couch in the garage.” Thayer shot me a look of refusal. “Like you AND October can fit on the thing, go!” I shooed him away with a humoured grin plastered on my face. He put October in my room, I had a sneaking suspicion he would. “Any particular reason why you opted to take the room of a young girl, Mr. Michaels?” I heard him scoff. He looked up at me with a grin. “She fashioned her room like I did mine.” He responded. I shot him a curious look before it hit me. It looked and felt like a prison cell. That’s why it was always so cold.

I stood silently in the doorway of the garage. Tauriel, currently sitting on the floor fixing her busted shelf with her braid in a sort of bun, paid no mind to my existence as she worked. “You can come in here.” She mumbled under her breath before filling the shelf so it stood at its proper height. I sat on my bench, filled with some of my tools as Tauriel sat in hers. She was tinkering away at something.

When she was arrested, I became her only family left. I would call her everyday and visit her every chance I got, but these walls became so quiet when she went away. I would go to school, earn some quick cash from dumb kids then big bucks from dumb adults. I called her and taught her lessons over the phone and she’d be happy. When I’d go visit her, she’d keep her head down and speak slowly. There were times I’d wonder if she’d make it, but as time went on she became the queen. When she was finally let out, due to the ‘Liberty Act’ all occupants twenty one and lower got released at that point she was seventeen and only a fraction of the eleven year old I saw arrested over a decade ago for no real reason.

She came out with a tattoo, two Liberties on her waist and a new habit of looking over her shoulder at every turn. On her twenty first, when she was branded Bruise by the rule of the Capitals I noticed the scars on her back for the first time. She was wearing her hair up, similar to how it was styled right now, and her top tied around her neck leaving her upper back open. She said she wanted to see the rain so we figured out a way to do it. That year, she spent over a hundred days teaching me how to fix things. I guess when you have a tendency to break things you learn how to fix them.

“I saw Mara earlier. She and Cecil said hi.” I saw her break into a small smile. She adored the redhead, always finding humour in her quickly retorts and sarcastic remarks. “Tell them I say hi.” Tauriel went back to work in a much better mood. “You know…” I started watching Tauriel place an old pair of headphones over her ears. She nodded at me to continue. “With Cecil’s longer hair and dimples, he kinda looks like Thayer…” I held in my laughter when Tauriel’s face fell. She rolled her eyes dramatically before taking off the headphones. “Eula, sharp bone structure and long hair is kinda the norm. And don’t go ruining Cecil for me, he’s my friend.” She still laughed. It’s been years since I heard that sound.

I always loved the sound of Liberties in the morning. The sweet sound of their bird song that let me know I was still in the garage when I should’ve been sleeping hours ago. What did I care? I spent most of my nights on this very bench and often woke up with my head against the cool metal of my desk. I sit with my head in my hand for a minute or two before I actually stand. The boots I ditched last night were still on the floor by my feet, so I decided to leave them there and go eat. The fixed up headphones were around Tauriel’s neck, with a stray wire tickling the back of her head. “Need your room back?” He asked from behind me. I actually did but I wasn’t going to let him know that. I spared a glance in his direction, he almost filled the door frame. He was smirking at me. That devilish smirk, like I didn’t know that's not who he really was. “Is October awake, I need him for something.” I kept my voice cold as I spoke to the older man. He gave me that look, the same one he gave me in prison when he wasn’t overly trying to be a jerk or when he thought I wouldn’t notice. He gave me a quick smile before heading into my room for the sleeping twenty year old.

Toby came out rubbing his dark brown eyes. I pulled him into the kitchen as Thayer emerged. He smiled at his brother before pushing off the door post he was leaning on and going back into Tauriel’s room to get dressed. October kept looking around the kitchen for food as I placed a food bag in front of him. We went through the cupboards, grabbing things for the young man to take home. I knew it would be easier for me to stock my cupboards rather than Toby and Thayer to stock theirs. We were almost done wrapping the bread when the alarm blared throughout the city. “THAYER MICHAELS, REPORT TO THE HAULING STATION.” I nodded at October to continue, letting him know I’d be right back before quickly making my way to the hall where Tauriel was waiting outside the bathroom. When he came out of the bathroom, his hair was tousled and slightly damp. Tauriel wasted no time heading into the steam filled room, waving the soft white clouds from her face. “Sorry in advance. I used a lot of hot water.” He stated through the door to which Tauriel offered no reply. Whatever he did to get this reaction from her must’ve been bad. I saw a glint of that subtle irritation in his eyes, understanding too, but mostly just irritation. “Don’t worry, she likes to take cold showers.” He looked my way with a forced smile. I watched as he quickly put on his jacket and boots shooting me a questioning look. I chuckled knowing exactly what he planned to ask me. “I’ve got work in a couple hours, but Tori will watch him okay?”

He only stiffly nodded before opening the door and heading to the Hauling Station.

@jayloxoxo @thinkinghardhardlythinking @justagirlinafandomworld @mashedpotatowithcheese

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ambermation · 4 years

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Trauma (Ruth x Tommy)

(Idk if it counts as being OOC for Tommy since he’s now back after being turned into a scarecrow and “dying”.)

I scratched and pulled at my skin, trying to get rid of the straw I found. It only kept growing and growing until I no longer had the strength to try and remove it. I kept running, the farmhouse was so close!

I could get help, I could get mama, mama could help me! She had to!

"Ma!" I shouted, I was out of the cornfield. A couple yards away was my house. "Ma!" I tried shouting again, but found my throat constricting. Before I could try anything I started gagging. I managed to make it another foot before collapsing on the ground. I kept gagging as I felt my face become rough, coarse burlap.

Finally I manage to cough up what got in my throat, but I immediately started barfing up what I coughed up:

Straw.

I felt myself loosing consciousness. I manage to turn my suddenly light head one last time. Behind me I saw Harold.

Harold just smiled.

I jolt awake, heart racing and covered in a layer of sweat. I look at myself, feeling the soft, smooth skin. Light, sun-kissed skin with no trace of straw or itchy burlap. I feel my face. No empty eye sockets, no straw from my ears, the same smooth skin on my arms. I raise my shirt and look at my stomach. No punctures, no straw, just the skin. Skin I was relieved to see. I hug myself to try and stop me from shaking.

"Just a damn dream. Only a dream," I whispered. My nerves were shot. I sat there for a few minutes before I had enough. I couldn't get myself to calm down. I throw the blanket off my feet and go downstairs, turning on every light I could on the way. I make it to the living room, mom's dolls creepily decorating one of the walls. As soon as my eyes laid on one of them I shuddered. I swallow and look away, instead focusing on the telephone. I walk over to it and reach out to grab it, but I hesitate.

"Should I really be calling her now? Like a fucking baby?"

A loud creak makes me snap my head to the left. Nothing there, it was just the house settling. As I turn back to face the phone I catch a glimpse of the dolls again. But something seemed off about what I saw, so I do a double take. Harold smiled at me, the same smile from my nightmare, and the same smile from that God damn night. I jump back, nearly knocking over an end table. I grab it before it falls, and quickly look back where he was. Nothing was there.

It was just my imagination.

"Fuck it," I mutter as I grab the phone and dial Ruth's number. The phone rings several times, but she doesn't answer. I try again and again, messing with the phone's cord as I wait. Every other ring I would look around me, making sure that I was alone; that nothing was in here with me. After a few more rings she finally answers.

"Hello? Who is this?" Ruth asked, sleep lacing her voice.

"Hey, Ruth, uh, its Tommy,"

"Tommy? What's wrong? You've been calling me for the past eight minutes. Did something happen?"

The concern in her words made me tear up. Fighting back the urge to break down I answer her.

"Well, no. I just...it- I had a nightmare. Again." My eyes darting from one thing to the next.

"Was it as bad as last time?"

"Y-yeah. Worse, actually." I answered, my voice cracking. I didn't realize a few tears escaped my eyes until I felt one drop on my hand. Instead of trying to wipe them away, I focus on Ruth's words.

"Oh Tommy, I'm so sorry. Do you want to meet up somewhere?" Hearing Ruth say those words with so much kindness and concern made me regret ever just seeing Ruth as an object. Something for me to have fun with, and then immediately discard as soon as I got bored of her. "Yeah. Please. How about at the corner of Windermere Road and Greenhill Lane?"

"Alright. I'll meet you there." Then Ruth hung up. I put the phone back and take a deep breath. I'm going to be fine. I'll just drive over there and talk to Ruth. She'll know what to say to help me.

I go back to my room,leaving all the lights on as I head back. Once inside my room I throw some clothes on, including a jacket. When I'm about to leave my room, I stop and contemplate whether I should turn off the light or not. Dad probably wouldn't be too happy about me leaving all the lights on when I'm not even here, and mom probably would scold me and take away the car from me again. So I decided to turn off the lights as I went. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the car keys, and left out the front door.

The crisp, chilly winter air makes me shiver while I'm walking. Glad I wore a heavy jacket. I look up to the sky and see a few clouds, but none of them are blocking the bright, full moon. It casts the dirt road I'm walking on in a soft light. I unlock the Pontiac Catalina and get in. Once I'm seated I remember that one Halloween night. The smell of the burning paper bag, and the shit from inside of it. My stomach churns at the smell even though there's none here. I think of the eggs that were thrown at the car and I gag, the combined nonexistent-odors nauseating me.

I think of Ruth, and her pretty blonde hair and the way it felt so soft, almost like silk, her sparkling deep brown eyes that light up when she laughs and become so warm and welcoming when she was happy. Her laughter was like a nice bell that I'm actually happy to hear.

My stomach settled and I was able to drive. While I was driving my mind couldn't help but wander. Unsurprisingly it went back to my nightmare. I couldn't help but start scratching with one of my hands, the other still on the wheel. I soon stopped and swerved back on to the road. I nearly ran into another fence. To calm myself down, as well as distract myself, I took several deep breaths.

As I got closer to the corner I was able to see someone standing there, presumably Ruth. it wasn't that far from Ruth's house so it made sense that she walked. I pulled up right next to here and parked. Immediately I unbuckled my seat belt and almost got tangled in it while trying to leave the car.

Ruth and I hugged in front of my car. Her hug was so comforting and warm, especially in the cold night air, that I started to tear up. I tried to stop myself (I was a grown man, for fuck's sake!) but the tears soon started to fall. Ruth rubbed my back and told me that it was okay, that it was only a dream, how everything was going to be fine.

"I don't think it will Ruth," I managed to cry out between sobs. Ruth hugged me tighter, before pulling back to look at my face. I looked away. I was a man sobbing in the middle of the night to my girlfriend about some nightmare. Right now I don't feel like a man; here I felt like a child again, crying to my "mommy" about a bad dream.

Gently Ruth placed her hands on both sides of my face and made me look at her. Her eyes were filled with determination. "Tommy Milner," she started, pulling me closer, "I know it may feel like you'll never get better, but you will. I promise. We'll all help you through this. It'll take time, but I know you'll be able get through this." Ruth gave me a peck on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her. Her words did help me a little, but I still felt like I was helpless. Ever since November, when Stacey - no, Stella, her name is Stella, and her dad, Ruth, and that other girl Sarah brought me and the others back I've been having nightmares.

I also often saw myself turning into a scarecrow even when I'm not sleeping. At first it almost always happened when I looked in the mirror, but it gradually become less and less frequent. The nightmares, however, still happened as frequently as before.

I cried some more and Ruth soothed me. After crying for a couple of minutes I felt better. I did feel guilty for dragging Ruth out in the middle of the night. "I'm so sorry," I croaked out, looking at Ruth. "It's alright Tommy. I don't mind helping you." I gave her a smile smile. Being with Ruth made me feel so wonderful that it made me want to stay with her longer. I especially didn't want to drive by the cornfield again. Once tonight was enough.

"Um...Ruth? I don't want to be alone, so can I... come to your place?" I asked shyly. Ruth nodded. "Of course! Let's go." I opened the door for Ruth before getting inside the car too. I drove us to the Steinburg residence. We got out the car and Ruth unlocked the front door. Ruth led me upstairs to her room, where we laid down and snuggled until both of us finally fell asleep. Before I fell asleep, I remember Ruth petting my hair and once again whispering comforting words.

( I feel good about the beginning, okay about the middle, and barely even mediocre about the ending.)

#Scary stories to tell in the dark #scary stories movie #scary stories #ssttitd #ssttitd movie #ruth steinburg #tommy milner #ruthxtommy #ruthsteinburg #tommymilner

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boat-dock · 4 years

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“Knowing You is for the Better” Chapter 9

sorry this took so long online schooling is kinda ruining my life right now

Hope was good on her promise, she always is, a week later she left New Orleans and headed back to school. Nik was so inconsolable that the only way they could get him to let go of Hope’s leg was to promise they could all go up to visit for family day at the end of the month. She drove through the night, drifting in and out of sleep in the backseat of a black SUV with tinted everything. Her family was in the wind again, everyone going in their own directions, Freya and Keelin stayed in Louisiana, Kol and Davina went back to the west coast, Rebekah and Marcel disappeared off to Vienna and Hope back to Mystic Falls.

She arrived at the school at an ungodly hour, it was either very late at night or insanely early in the morning. It was dark and quiet, no one met her, everyone else was asleep as she made her way through the still hallways, dragging her luggage to her room. The travel exhausted her and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Her dreams were filled with swirls of magic and faces she almost recognized just at the edge of her vision, everything was disorienting and always just out of reach. She felt like she was falling

Her door slammed open just as the sun was starting to shine in through the windows and she jolted awake. Lizzie stood there still dressed in pajamas but otherwise very awake, with her hands on her hips. Hope watched her with blurry vision as the blonde scanned her entire room,” I thought she’d be with you,” she stated, a hint of worry in her voice

“Hello to you too,” Hope groaned sitting up,” and who?” she asked groggily, running her hands through her hair.

“Josie of course,” Lizzie stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It was but it was way too early for Hope to form any kind of coherent thought.” She was gone when I woke up, bed hasn’t been slept in, mom and dad are kinda freaking out,”

That woke her up. It was decidedly un Josie like to stay out all night but it had been known to happen,” Is she seeing anyone?” the words bitter in her mouth, they tasted like lead and smoke. The incredulous look on Lizzie’s face was worth a million dollars and under different situations, Hope would’ve enjoyed it,” Well she used to stay the night with Penelope right, could that be what’s happening now,”

“Ew gross,” Lizzie spit,” No way. Look I’m the first person to support my sister’s sex life, the hobbit excluded, but trust me I know where her head is right now and that is not it,” she seemed sincere in a Lizzie way.

Everything was still packed so Hope dug through her bags to find clothes,” geez I was just asking,” she stepped into her closet and shut the door mostly so she could change in private,” No way in hell I’m going to class today, so tell your parents to stop freaking out, I’ll go find Jo,” the goal here was to keep everyone calm, Josie was very capable and her family knew that. Hope knew it too, and if she could find her without letting everyone else blow this out of proportion then it would be ok.

Lizzie calmed down and agreed to pass on the message before disappearing to let Hope finish getting ready in peace. It would have been easy to just do a locator spell, but instead, she found herself wandering the halls looking for Josie and smiling at the other students she hadn’t seen in ages. She went to all of Josie’s favorite spots, her corner in the library, the window seat in the kitchen, the empty classroom where the seniors keep their stash of liquor (that might be more of Lizzie’s favorite spot). She ends up walking through the woods heading towards the clubhouse, the school bell signaling the start of classes ringing behind her.

The clubhouse is more rundown than Hope remembered, it’s wood was degraded and there was trash scattered around like everyone had a party but no one cleaned up. There was a beige couch pushed against one of the back walls, that’s where she found Josie. Asleep, her body contorted under a blanket and her dark hair covering her face. She laughed to herself and moved closer till she could gently nudge the younger girl trying to wake her.

Josie shifted but didn’t wake,” Hey Jo,” she whispered, moving her hair from her face. Her eyes drifted open and she looked confused for a moment, then they went wide and she bolted up throwing her arms around Hope.

“Oh my god, you’re here,” she exclaimed, pulling the tribriad closer. Hope melted into her embrace taking in the smell of her and the feel of her, just Josie’s presence was overwhelming. She had to fight against her wolf nature, her eyes nearly flashed golden, but she couldn’t let herself go down that road. Josie wasn’t hers, no matter how much she wished she was. “When did you get back?”

“Insanely early this morning,” Hope answered then immediately turned the attention back to Josie,” What are you doing out here Jo?”

The siphoner glanced around like she hadn’t realized where she was until Hope pointed it out,” oh, I came out here last night to clear my head cause I couldn’t sleep, but I must have dozed off,”

Hope tried to block out all of the noises and smells around her, with her heightened senses everything was intense and loud, she could hear birds, insects, running water and heartbeats all the time. She forced herself to focus on Josie, this whole sleeping thing seemed to be a recurring problem,” so does the not being able to sleep thing happen a lot?”

“Recently yeah,” Josie looked down,” I’ve been having nightmares,”

“Do you want to talk about them?” Hope asked, taking a seat next to her on the couch. She wanted to give her space but she was being drawn to the younger girl.

“No, not really,” Josie moved closer, draping the blanket over Hope so they were sharing it. She leaned against her, obviously exhausted from a lack of sleep,” I just wish they would stop,” she sighed.

She didn’t know how to help her not knowing what the dreams were about, but she wouldn’t force Josie to talk about it if she wasn’t ready, so she did the only other thing she could,” well when you can’t sleep my door is always open.”

She was met with a small smile,” thank you that means so much,” Josie’s sincerity always touched Hope, she just couldn’t resist it. Josie snapped out of whatever bubble encompassed them,” What time is it?” she asked blinking.

“Oh, you definitely missed first hour,” she joked, causing Josie to groan and throw her head back.

“God we better go,” Josie said, grabbing Hope’s hand and dragging her back to school.

Josie started joining Hope in her room most nights, sometimes they talked sometimes they didn’t, but the night always ended in them holding each other as they slept. Lizzie hadn’t mentioned it, Hope wasn’t even sure if she noticed but either way she wasn’t complaining.

Every time she looked at Josie she felt like her heart was going to beat out her chest, she was barely keeping it together. Never had she imagined that she was going to be head over heels for her best friend who was basically living with her, and completely unable to tell her how she felt. She and Josie had never been closer, mentally and physically, they were together all the time, talking, sharing, and touching. It was the small innocent, light touches that drove Hope out of her mind, and Josie had absolutely no clue what she was doing to her every time they brushed shoulders or held hands.

One night Josie didn’t come, it wasn’t uncommon, she still spent the night with her sister in their room sometimes, but Hope was left alone. She laid awake in her suddenly way too empty bed, unable to sleep. The hours ticked by as she tossed and turned. The moon was high when a knock came on her door, Josie had stopped knocking a long time ago, but who else could it be.

When she opened the door she found Josie on the other side clad in her matching blue pajamas and sobbing silently. The hallway was dark and still as Hope ushered the younger girl inside, tears streaming and shaking. They were both silent as they crashed together in a hug, she was holding Josie up as she closed the door behind them with her magic,” Do you want to talk about it?” she whispered offering her support .

Slowly they made their way to the bed and curled together, Josie’s head on Hope’s chest as her sobs quieted and turned to sniffles,” No,” she answered pressing her eyes closed,” just distracted me, tell me a story,”

Hope thought for a moment, stories running through her mind in flashes, wondering which one she could possibly tell Josie to make her feel better. None came to mind,” Does it have to be a happy story?” she asked.

“I guess not.”

“Well then I hope you’re ready because you’re about to get the full tragic backstory,” with anyone else the thought of opening up and revealing herself would make her want to crawl into a hole and never come out, but with Josie it was as if she’s always seen her even when Hope did her best to hide. Josie had already seen the worst of her and she hadn’t shied away.

Josie looked at her with wide eyes, clearly shocked,” you sure?”

Hope nodded and brought her hand to Josie’s cheek, delicately tracing her fingers over her skin, until she closed her eyes allowing Hope into her mind. There were no words that could describe the things Hope had been through, at least none that she could put together so instead she opted to show her.

She painted the picture of a baby so hated and feared that the world wanted her dead from her first breath, of a child so loved that her family would do anything to keep her safe, of a girl who endured betrayal and deceit, and of the woman who faced everyday with her head held high despite it all. A weight was lifted as the memories flowed between them like magic and when the magic stopped Hope placed them outside a small cafe in New Orleans sitting at a table drowning in sunlight and flowers. Josie didn’t even seem to notice where they were, she just stared at Hope with a look she couldn’t place, somewhere between admiration and wonder.

She stayed quiet to let Josie collect her thoughts, it was a lot to take in that’s why Hope was hesitant to share her story with people, she didn’t want their pity or judgment, but things were different with Josie,” Two things,” she said the sunlight making her glow.

“I’m all ears,” Hope said leaning forward, placing her head in her hands, giving Josie her undivided attention.

What Josie said next floored her,” You are so strong Hope, stronger than anyone gives you credit for,” she sucked in a shaky breath, trying to focus on the air in her lungs. When she failed to meet Josie’s eyes the younger girl reached across the table and took her hands in her own, offering support. Hope wasn’t used to praise or attention, she wasn’t comfortable with it but somehow Josie’s words hit home.” and secondly,” she said, changing the subject,” You had a crush on me,” she giggled, a bright smile forming on the girl's face.

“You already knew that,” Hope responded fighting off a smile.

“I know but it makes me smile,”

Hope would have let the earth turn to ash to keep that smile on her face. It terrified her. These feelings terrified her more than anything; she pushed them down and forced on a smirk, “Just keep smiling Jo,”

Hope wished they could stay there forever, in their own little world, where the sun always shines and the flowers bloom, with no one to interrupt them, but she knew they couldn’t. The real world waited. Her eyes were starting to get heavy,” We should get some rest,” she said pulling her hands away.

“You say that a lot,” Josie whispered,” get some rest’ you always say that when we get somewhere real,”

She didn’t have an answer, but her heart started to pound harder, she chose not to respond instead she placed her hand on Josie’s cheek mirroring where it laid in real life. She tried to convey all her feelings with that motion, hoping that the younger girl could see what she couldn’t say. Gently she removed herself from her head and back into the darkness of her bedroom, wrapped up in Josie. Her breathing was even, the brunette was asleep, satisfaction flowed through Hope proud that she’d calmed Josie enough that she was able to sleep peacefully. Without thinking she pressed a kiss to the girl’s head and closed her eyes.

#hosie #hosie fanfic #ship: hosie #Legacies #hope mikaelson #hope x josie #josie saltzman #slowburn #the mikaelsons #The Mikaelson Family

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nikkzwrites · 4 years

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Yesterday Once More | Dark Fix-It Fic Series | Chapter 10

A/N: This fic is one that I started with my OC because honestly, I personally didn’t like how season 3 ended. So I am rewriting all of Dark with my OC Annalise Dahlheim. I hope you all like it. Some things will be expanded more on just for more depth to Dark that season 3 kinda skipped over so…. yeah.

CW: Canon Typical Triggers: Smoking, Sex, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Death, Violence, Suicide Mentions, Cutting, Violence.

Word Count: 6.6k

[First Chapter] [Previous Chapter] [Next Chapter]

Back on the day of Mikkel’s disappearance, Peter walked down into his father’s bunker to compose himself. He was once again thinking of cheating on Charlotte. He couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t at all. He slapped himself as he just sat there trying to compose himself. Slowly a bright light over came the bunker. It seemed as if the fabric of reality was ripping itself apart. Then a dead Mads dropped to the ground. After trying to give the boy CPR, Peter grabbed the ID off the boy’s chest. When he saw it was Mads, he called Tronte immediately.

Tronte drove down to the bunker to find that Peter was indeed telling the truth. There on the ground lay a perfect angel-like boy dead. Tronte couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was no way his son could be here after 33 years of having gone missing exactly as he once was. He started to cry over the small boy knowing in his heart that it was true.

The older Claudia walked down into the bunker and said, “Tronte. Peter. There’s a lot I have to explain. But first we need to take Mads to the place where he is to be found. We don’t have much time left.”

November 12, 2019, Jonas lay in his bed asleep. A small hand reached over his shoulder to make him turn to look at him. Instead of Annalise, there staring at him was Mikkel with a knowing smile.

A dream, Jonas shot up panicked. He turned his head to the side where Mikkel was to see Annalise’s back towards him. She was fully asleep. Her soft breaths mimicked almost like a sleeping cat’s content noise. He slowly uncovered himself and tucked Annalise back in. The sleeping girl turned in her sleep now to face him. She was curled up as if wanting to find comfort with anyone. She pulled the blankets up to her face in her sleep as if trying to cling to the boy that had just gotten out of bed. He brushed some stray hair out of her face then turned to grab his pill bottle. He sat there debating it before putting the pill he had taken out back in and tossing it into the trash. He panted as he looked at the supplies on his desk. He walked over to his desk and scribbled a quick note to Annalise about where he went, placed it on the nightstand for her to see right when she woke up, and left.

Martha paced around chewing on her nails not knowing really how her boyfriend was reacting to the news. She was crying. She didn’t know what to do. “I’m sorry,” the girl told Bartosz, “I really fucked up. Since Mikkel disappeared… I don’t recognize myself anymore.” She sobbed. She knew she was only going to him because Jonas and Annalise rejected her, but what else was she supposed to do in this situation. Her best friend was gone with the boy that held both of their hearts in his hands. It was so fucked up.

Bartosz stoically walked over to Martha and held her. He could feel her pain. He knew she didn’t love him, this was just all to try and have someone love her back and to go back to things before Jonas came back. The boy held her close knowing exactly how it felt to love someone who would never love him back. He pitied Martha. He too wished for everything she was, yet he could never let her know why his heart yearned for that simpler time. That it was also him that was suffering in all of this madness of teenaged love and feelings. “It doesn’t matter, okay,” he comforted her. He rubbed her back, “Everything’s okay. Everything’s okay.” He questioned to himself if he was actually comforting Martha or really more himself about this fucked up situation they all had landed in.

The nurse showed Charlotte into Helge’s room explaining that he’s never been gone this long and how normally he was back in just a couple of hours. They chatted about if Ulrich was there and the nurse explained that he was there on that Saturday, but no time since that she knew of.

Helge slept in the deer scare in 1986. He slowly woke up knowing exactly what he had to do.

In 2019, Jonas stared at his grandmother as he asked, “Did you know?”

“Did I know what,” Ines asked the boy.

Jonas replied, “The boy from the future.” When Ines sighed, he knew. He then told her, “you knew.” He nodded a bit to himself then looked back at her.

Ines walked to a small box on her selves and sat back down. She opened it and handed Jonas back the letter that he had burned. This letter looked more pristine. She commented, “This is for you.”

Jonas grabbed it and scanned through it. It was indeed the same exact letter. Just cleaner, more preserved. “That’s impossible,” the boy commented.

“What,” his grandmother asked him.

Jonas looked up at her and explained, “I burned it.” He stared down at it, then looked back up at his grandmother, “How long have you known?”

Ines looked down and shook her head, “I’ve always known, really.” Seeing Jonas just stare blankly at him, she explained, “When your father came to me, he was a disturbed little boy. I just thought he had an overactive imagination. That something bad must have happened to him, something that he couldn’t bear. He told me… he came from the future.” She started to weep, “I didn’t believe him.”

Jonas’s anger started to burn inside of him, “If you knew… Why didn’t you stop it?”

Ines shook her head at him, “I didn’t know he was going to take his own life.”

“But you could have saved Mikkel,” Jonas screamed as tears filled his eyes. He was so angry. He was angry at Ines, the world, but most of all himself for allowing all of this to continue to happen as well. “Now I have another grandma and she’s the principal of my school,” he started to angrily process through his emotions that he was hiding from himself, “Her husband, who’s fucking my mom, is looking for his son, who’s my father!” He huffed and finally growled out, “A few days ago, I kissed my aunt.” Jonas shook his head, “And the crazy thing is… there’s nothing wrong with any of them. They’re okay. I’m what’s wrong.” His tears finally started to fall.

Ines tried to comfort him, “I think things… no matter how abnormal or strange they seem to us, happen for a reason. Who are we to play God? What’s past is past. But you… live in the here and now. Who knows what the future will bring?”

Jonas looked at her and said, “I just want everything back to normal.”

This reminded Ines of Jonas’s father in 1986. Mikkel was sitting there explaining, “As a kid, all that Houdini dreamed of was becoming a magician.” He did his magic trick of moving an object from one cup to the other.

Nurse Ines, at the time, asked, “Do you have the same dream?”

“Yes,” Mikkel admitted, “But the magic I want to do is impossible.”

Ines asked, “Which is what?”

Mikkel sighed, “I just want to finally wake up.” He missed his home, his family, his Annalise. He missed Jonas. He missed everyone and his normal life. He just wanted to wake up from this living nightmare to find him cuddled up to the American girl he had come to love. With Martha snoring just a few feet from them. Annalise touching her lips and sneaking downstairs with him to go get him some candy that Katharina had stashed away from him so that he wouldn’t eat it all or eat it at inappropriate times. Magnus’s loud music abetting them in their heist of candy in the wee morning hours. Only to get caught by Ulrich… Who would then chuckle with a finger to his lips handing them both what they had sought. Mikkel just wanted that life back.

“Have you heard of Master Zhuang’s paradox,” Ines asked the boy. When Mikkel shook his head, Ines explained, “I dreamt I was a butterfly. Now I’ve woken up and no longer know if I’m a person who dreamed he’s a butterfly, or if I’m a butterfly who’s dreaming it’s a person.” Ines smiled and asked, “What are you? A person or a butterfly?”

Mikkel thought for a second then said, “Maybe I’m both.”

In 1953, they were taking Ulrich’s lineup photos. Egon introduced himself to the stange killer before him, “My name is Egon Tiedemann. Maybe we can just start with you telling me your name.”

Ulrich stared up at the man, “Tiedemann? Egon, yes… Of course.” Ulrich started to laugh. He shook his head and said in English, “My only aim is to take many lives. The more, the better I feel.”

“Are you a Satanist,” Egon asked, not breaking.

“A Satanist,” Ulrich asked. He shook his head, “No, I’m a cop.”

Egon’s eyebrow raised then lowered in humor, “a cop?”

Ulrich smiled, “It’s a song from the 80s. I can tell you now, you won’t like it.”

Egon instructed him, “Look into the camera.” When Ulrich did so, Egon asked, “Why did you kill the children?”

Ulrich shook his head, “I didn’t kill them. I tried to save them.”

“What did you do to Helge,” Egon asked.

Ulrich’s breath became uneven, “He’s still alive. He must be. Or the children wouldn’t be dead.”

“Where is Helge now,” Egon pressed Ulrich for answers, “Where is he?”

Ulrich shook his head, “I can change it all. I can change everything that’s going to happen, but you have to let me go.”

Egon commanded once more, “look into the camera.” When Ulrich tried to plead with him, Egon just repeated himself. Then asked, “You know what we do to child murdered here?”

“You stupid asshole,” Ulrich growled, “You’re just as small-minded as everyone else in this shitty town. Are you already drinking or will you start after your wife leaves you and you realize how pathetic and pitiful you are?”

Back in 2019, Jonas and Annalise finally made their way through the rain to school. Annalise removed her hand from his as they got closer and spotted Bartosz standing outside. She slowed down seeing Bartosz was upset. Her heart started to race. Oh no, Annalise thought as she saw Jonas just walking to go inside with no care.

Bartosz intersected Jonas’s route and said, “I waited for you. On Thursday.” He nodded towards Annalise letting the girl know he knew she was there.

“Yeah, fuck…” Jonas tried to cover for himself.

Bartosz shook his head, “What do you mean ‘fuck’? I didn’t tell anyone you were in the nuthouse. I lied for you. France, baguettes…Blah, blah, blah… Turns out you lie pretty well for yourself. You don’t even need me.” He motioned to Annalise then focused his attention back to Jonas, “Martha told me everything.”

Jonas shook his head, “It just happened. I really didn’t…”

“What didn’t you want,” Bartosz yelled, getting angry and shoving Jonas back. Was Jonas really going to just focus on kissing Martha? He wasn’t going to even at all think about the poor girl behind him that was now starting to try to get between them? Bartosz’s heart shattered on the pavement seeing Annalise trying to get into the middle of them to protect Jonas. He yelled, “To blow me off? To lie to me? To make out with my girlfriend? To lie to her best friend?” He shoved Jonas completely down this time, “You’re a sick piece of shit!”

Annalise, at this point, stood between him and Jonas. “Bartosz,” she yelled at him, “He fucked up, but leave him alone.”

Bartosz just pushed her out of the way into a wall to make sure she was safe from the two of them fighting, “He’s just like his dad Anna.”

Jonas couldn’t let the boy just insult his father like that. He stood and tried to tackle Bartosz only causing Bartosz to toss him back to the ground and start to wrestle him trying to make Jonas stop fighting back.

Annalise kept trying to yell at them to stop causing enough noise for Martha to come out of the school and yell at them as well, “What are you doing?!”

Jonas got up and pushed Bartosz down. He backed up closer to Annalise trying to keep himself out of this as much as possible now.

“Have you lost it,” Martha yelled.

Annalise yelled at Martha, “Tell your damned guard dog to back the fuck down.”

Martha looked at her shocked that Annalise suddenly had a fight in her and the first thing she had said to her ex best friend was a slew of curses and insults. Bartosz turned to Annalise, “Oh yeah! Of course! He lied to you too! Don’t you see that?!” He started to go up to the girl again. His heart pounding from trying to fight Jonas, “You know who really fucking found you drunk off your ass?!”

Annalise started to cry. She could smell his familiar cologne. He didn’t need to tell her, She knew he was going to yell it at her anyway though. She backed up towards the wall. Annalise shook her head. She whispered, “Bartosz, please.”

“Yeah! Me,” He yelled at her, “When will you get it through your thick head that he doesn’t give a shit about you?!” He poked at her head hard.

Jonas and Martha’s eyes widened. They started to slowly realize there was more to this that the two of them had kept as well. Everyone had secrets in this town. Martha started to slowly try to intervene. She gently walked up to Annalise and asked, “You got drunk?” Martha’s eyes started to release tears as well.

Annalise nodded, turned to Bartosz, and yelled, “But he kissed me! I was just trying to go home. I hated Winden and everyone in this shithole!” She tried to push the taller boy away from her.

Bartosz sneered and pushed her towards Jonas, “Well you didn’t try to fucking stop me. You made out with me!” He pushed her away from the wall knowing she wanted to be free. Even while angry and fighting, he was still looking out for the girl’s wants.

Jonas looked at Annalise. Suddenly this made a lot more sense. She must have not remembered who it was just some of the general events that happened. Annalise must have thought that he had kissed her that night and that’s why she had forgiven him so quickly. She thought… Jonas snapped himself away from his thoughts. He started to get in between Martha and Annalise trying to keep the other girl away from the one looking terrified.

“You kissed my boyfriend,” Martha roared, trying to rage at the girl only to get intervened by Jonas.

Annalise sobbed, “I was drunk. I forgot who it was.” She looked down. She started to let her anger take back over, “But you cheated on him first anyway! Why do you give a shit?! You are just like your bastard murderous father!” Bartosz started to get in between the two girls as well, but he kept Annalise from getting closer towards Martha and Jonas. Bartosz actually lifted the girl up and placed her down a bit farther away again to put distance between them.

She tried to fight against Jonas to get to Annalise. “At least, I’m not the reason my father’s fucking dead,” Martha yelled at the girl.

Everything stopped. Everyone froze and looked at Annalise. It even seemed like for a moment that the rain itself had stopped. Martha clasped her hands over her mouth knowing she had gone too far. Her hands shook in front of her mouth. Annalise started to tremble. Her face contorted more into agony. The former track star turned and bolted into the forest again. The rain wasn’t helping her stay out of her thoughts. Her mind just kept flashing to the memories and she just wanted everything to stop.

“Annalise,” the three yelled after her. Everyone suddenly unfrozen at the same time. Bartosz tried to grab her, but she was too quick for his reflexes. Everything was also too wet so even if he could grab on, she could have slipped away from him anyway.

Bartosz watched her go. His breathing unsteady. He turned to Jonas and roared, “This is all your fucking fault!” He punched Jonas this time, “Don’t ever come back here. Get the hell out of here!”

Jonas stood there for a second looking at Martha who was sobbing. He touched his lip to feel the warm blood drip onto his fingertips and down his chin. He turned and started to walk away hoping that Annalise was just going to run home or just hide out in the woods again until she was ready. He knew he wasn’t going to catch up and if anything all he could do was to go back. He needed to go back, get Mikkel, and bring him back. Bartosz was right, this was all his fault so now he needed to fix it.

Bartosz watched Jonas walk away calmly and growled. Bartosz turned and took off after Annalise trying hard to try and get to her before anyone else did. Somewhere in his heart, he knew this was his fault too. If he were just honest himself, she wouldn’t have had to have her heart dropped on the cement and crushed like that in front of all of them. She could have just been in his arms, safe and sound. “Annalise,” He screamed trying to have her hear him. He panted and called, “Annalise, please! Come back! Martha didn’t mean it!” Annalise could have just been in his arms, huddled up in his jacket, with her giant radiate smile on her face instead of running through the trees and woods, alone, scared, and crying.

The door to the 1986 Tannhaus shop opened and closed. There stood the older Jonas. He knew he didn’t have that much time left to try to get to the girl before any of the other options did. He knew that if she were with him, she would be safe and maybe actually prevent her fate that he accidentally had caused again. He kicked himself for being so weak to her doe eye charms and buying her alcohol that night. The Stranger Jonas had tried to keep a hold of her, but she slipped away from him and disappeared before he could catch her again. He shook his head at that memory and walked over to the man. He looked at the machine and commented, “You repaired it.”

Tannhaus looked up at the man and pointed to one of them, “That one’s yours.” He pointed at the one in front of himself and said, “And this one’s mine. I built it many years ago. It’s the same device, but in different condition. You see. It’s as if one could look at the beginning and end of something at the same time. Wait a moment.” Tannhaus squeezed past him to go grab the cellphone he had been holding onto. “This thing here,” Tannhaus explained, “it sends a kind of signal. An electromagnetic impulse. As if it were trying to communicate with something. And look at this.” Tannhaus turned on his machine to demonstrate, “this part has never moved. It was included in the blueprint, but I never knew what it was for. This thing communicates with the device. It’s not just the past that influences the future. The future also influences the past. You see. If you hadn’t shown me what the device looks like in the future, I wouldn’t have been able to build it. A paradox. These openings… didn’t exist either. I have no idea what their purpose is.”

Jonas opened up a small vial and put in a small tube into the machine, “It’s Cs-137. A radioactive isotope of Cesium.” Then started to pack it up so that way he could then use it to get back to try and get her. He knew where she was hiding so that gave him a bit of edge, but that also gave someone else the edge as well. He needed to protect her from her fate. All would be for nothing if he couldn’t stop this at least.

Tannhaus looked up, “The device generates a Higgs field. It increases the mass of the Cesium. An electromagnetic impulse causes it to implode into a black hole. The same thing must have happened during the nuclear power plant incident.”

Jonas looked up and asked, “Why did you decide to help me after all?”

“Why,” Tannhaus repeated back at Jonas, “That’s a big word.” The man sat back down in his chair to continue his work, “Why do we decide for one thing and against another?” Tannhaus continued not seeing Jonas nearly crying over that set of words, “But does it matter whether the decision is based upon the consequence of a series of casual links? Or whether it stems from an undefined feeling deep inside me? That perhaps everything in my life boils down to this one moment. That I’m part of a puzzle. One that I can neither understand nor influence. Will you tell me… what the future’s like?”

Jonas stared at the man and explained, “I’m hoping that by tomorrow, it’ll already be different from today.” He turned and walked out the door leaving Tannhaus there.

In 2019, Charlotte called Peter. When he answered, she asked, “Your father was kidnapped as a kid, right? Do you remember when exactly?”

Peter blanked. He wondered if he even knew that information to begin with. He asked her, “Can we talk? I…I have to tell you something.”

Charlotte then asked, “When exactly? ‘53? ‘54?”

Peter shook his head, “Fall of ‘53.”

Charlotte nodded to herself, “1953, exactly 66 years ago. Two times 33. It’s all connected.”

Peter tried to interrupt, “Listen, Charlotte, I… I have to talk to you.”

Charlotte put on her seatbelt, “Later, okay? I’ve got to go.” Charlotte then hung up.

In 1986, the middle aged Helge drove up to his cabin. When he walked up, he saw an old man sitting there. “Can I help you,” he asked, “Were you looking for me?”

The older Helge looked at his younger self. “You have to stop,” he said.

“What do I have to stop,” asked Helge.

The older and wiser Helge replied, “He’s using you. All of his promises are lies. You will never meet David again.”

The younger Helge shook his head, “I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.”

The older one repeated the phrase back at him while taking off his beanie to reveal his scar, “I’ve said that before.” He laughed and shook his head, “Everything Noah says is a lie. He’s not the chosen one. You’re not the chosen one. He doesn’t want to save the world from evil. He is evil. He probably killed David when David didn’t want to go through with this.” The older Helge held his younger self, “Today is the day. The beginning and the end. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

The younger Helge pulled away and ran while the older one called after him begging for him to stop. He then realized what he had to do. The old Helge walked away.

2019, Jonas walked into his dad’s studio. He looked around first for Annalise. She was still not home yet. Jonas looked up at the support beam contemplating for a moment before walking downstairs one more.

Hannah looked up at her son and saw his wound. Worried she asked, “What happened to you?” She was surprised that Annalise wasn’t with him. Normally if they skipped school, the two would be together as if held by glue. Hannah stood up and rushed to Jonas.

“I got into a fight,” Jonas explained.

Hannah’s face scrunched, “what?” Her son had never done this before in his life. This was so unlike her Jonas. “With whom,” She asked, caressing his face. Part of her wandered if that’s why Annalise wasn’t with him.

Jonas stared at her, “It doesn’t matter.”

Hannah took her hand away and asked, “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?”

Jonas walked over to her and held his mother. He closed his eyes as his arms wrapped around her. He tried to imagine him hugging all of the people he cared about in his arms at that moment. Bartosz, Martha, Mikkel, Annalise… They all deserved to hear this. He whispered to his mother, “Everything will be fine.” He soon pulled away and said, “I left something at school and I still need to find Annalise. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine, Mom.” He forced a small smile before leaving Hannah standing there confused and worried.

Down in the bunker, Peter and Tronte talked. They spoke of Claudia and if they believed her. They could feel everything was going to start happening very soon. Peter was worried because half of the book's pages were missing. He wondered if Claudia was hiding this from them.

In 1986, Helge confronted Noah about what happened. Noah calmly told Helge a story, “Years ago, I was still a little boy. A stranger came to us. He looked as if he’s been in a war. Didn’t talk much. There was this sadness in his eyes. The kind you see sometimes in those who want to die, but life wouldn’t let him.” At this same time, Jonas crossed the police line to go to the cavern that would lead to 1986. Noah continued, “He took a room in our house. The bedroom right next to mine. And… Sometimes I heard him talk in his sleep. Confused words. But one night, he was suddenly very clear. He stood in the hallway, his eyes wide open and said, ‘Nothing is in vain. Not a single breath. Not a single step, not a single word. Not pain. An eternal miracle of the One.’ I didn’t understand any of his words. Only years later, when I felt the pain, did I understand what he meant. That none of the horrible things that befall us should be in vain. That they make us what we are. That they give us our strength. Your pain made you who you are, Helge. But it no longer has power over you.”

Helge nodded in understanding then asked, “Who is next?”

Noah opened his book and instructed Helge on to where to find their next target, Jonas Kahnwald.

Jonas walked out the tunnel and started to walk to the hospital. His plan was simple. Grab Mikkel, set time on the correct path, done.

The social worker turned to Ines and comforted her, “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry. You can always come and visit him.” She turned to Mikkel and said, “I’m taking you to your new home. There are lots of other children there.”

Mikkel didn’t respond and Ines walked her out. Ines looked at the social worker and said, “You know, I’ve made the decision. I want to adopt him and to take provisional custody of him during the adoption procedure... ”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy,” the worker tried to argue.

Ines shook her head, “I have references. I own a home. I know it may seem rash, but it’s not. The boy likes me. He trusts me. I’m the only person he lets close to him, and… And I like him too.”

Charlotte sat in the forest with her dead bird investigating it. A strange boy in a yellow coat approached and asked what day it was. “The 12th,” She shook her head. When he asked for the year, Charlotte looked at him more confused, “1986.” He then just paced forward as if on a mission. She turned and asked, “Are you from here?” The boy turned and shook his head. Charlotte then asked, “What are you doing here?”

Jonas answered, “Bringing someone back from the dead.”

“How does that work,” she asked him curious.

Jonas sighed, “It’s hard to explain.” He smiled.

Charlotte looked down at the birds, “Can you bring these back?”

Jonas shook his head, “No, you have to find them when they're younger.”

Charlotte looked up at him and said, “But then they’re not dead yet.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that they will die,” he explained.

She looked down at the birds then back at him, “You’re crazy.”

Jonas slightly smiled before turning away to get back to his original plan, “Maybe.”

In 2019, Charlotte was investigating Helge. There on page five in the records, she saw Ulrich staring straight at her.

Ulrich, still stuck in 1953, was having a rough time while in prison. They kept asking him about Helge and beating him when he wouldn’t tell them.

Our yellow coat wearing Jonas, in 1986, roamed through the halls of the hospital trying to get to Mikkel’s room.

Annalise, in 2019, curled up in the church. Something she had learned from her grandfather that was a pretty safe place not to be found. She tried to think back to how he told her to get to a special hiding place. She slowly followed his instructions to find a burnt to a crisp office. The girl could feel it’s raw energy and safety. She curled up in the corner and kept herself there. Annalise shivered from the cold. She spotted a fireplace. She looked around trying to find something to light it.

When Jonas finally got to Mikkel’s room, there sat Noah reading to the boy. Mikkel was fast asleep. Noah looked up at him. “Who are you,” Jonas asked. Noah held a finger up to his mouth and shushed him before Helge popped out from behind the door and started to smother him with a cloth covered in chloroform.

Jonas slowly woke up in a blue room with foxes and hedgehogs. There was a large chair in the middle of the room. He heard a noise from outside the door and the slot opened. A familiar face looked through and tried to comfort him, “There’s no need to be afraid.”

“Hey,” Jonas cried at him. He slammed himself against the door, “What’s this supposed to be? What is this? Why did you lock me in here?”

The older Jonas looked at his younger self, “It wasn’t me. It was Noah.”

“Who’s Noah,” our Jonas asked, “Where am I? What is this?”

The older Jonas explained, “This is a kind of prototype of a time machine. You��re the guinea pig. The passage in the cave lies directly under this bunker. If opened, the energy flows through this room. But it needs to be increased. No DeLorean. No hissing or steam. The first time machine is a bunker with four walls. But it still doesn’t quite work.”

“Let me out,” Jonas plead.

The Stranger Jonas shook his head, “I can’t. It’s the only way for things to be normal again.”

Jonas asked, “Who are you?”

“You don’t know,” he asked. He started at him, “The letter, you burned it. Yet it still exists. You’ll carry that letter for almost 33 years before you pass it on. To yourself.”

The younger Jonas started to cry realizing that he was indeed bigger in this than he could have ever imagined at first. He started to understand that there was no easy fix for his life.

“I am you,” The Stranger Jonas told his younger self, “My name is Jonas Kahnwald. I sent the letter to you. Or should I say, to me. Everything you’re experiencing, I’ve already experienced.” He backed away from the door and from his younger self starting to break down, “I burned the letter, just like you. I got it back from our grandmother. I’ve already had this conversation. But I was on the other side then. We think we’re free, but we’re not. We follow the same old path. Again and Again.”

The younger Jonas slammed against the door, “That’s crazy! It doesn’t make any sense! You can decide to let me go now. Come on, let me out!”

The older self stared at him. His heart broke again watching himself throw himself against the wall, “I thought it was crazy for a long time. That I’m crazy. But I can’t let you out because then you won’t become what I am today. If I now change my past, I will change who I am right now. And I won’t be able to destroy the hole once and for all.” He stared at his younger self, “Why did you kiss Martha? Why didn’t you run after Annalise? We are not free in what we do, because we are not free in what we want. We can’t overcome what’s deep within us.”

Our Jonas sobbed, “Stop it.” He hated being faced with this. He knew in his heart that it was true. That all of what the older him was saying had to be true, “Stop.” He thought of the two girls in agony. “Please stop,” he begged, “I have to bring Mikkel back.” The older Jonas sighed at his younger self’s ignorance. But the younger continued, “I want everything to go back to normal. I want all this sick shit to stop!”

“You still do,” The Stranger Jonas tried to comfort himself, “33 years later. I still want that. But Mikkel… Our father is just a small part of the sprawling sickness. I’ve seen things that n one should ever see. I’m sorry.” He closed the slot and left.

The younger Jonas started to panic again.

Helge drove through the dark and rainy night back home only to be hit by a car. The younger Helge exited his vehicle having magically survived. He limped to the other car to see the dead limp body of his older self sitting there.

Charlotte was in her office in 2019 right on the cusp of everything. She looked down at the phone to see that her husband had texted her talking about meeting him in the bunker.

Noah sat in his car. “Everything is about to begin,” He told Bartosz, “The older Jonas will destroy the hole, but… he doesn’t realize that he will be the one to trigger its existence. A paradox. The cesium in his useless machine won’t destroy the hole forever. It’s what creates it in the first place. He thinks he’s the savior.” He turned to the boy once more, “But Claudia lied to him. Most people are nothing but pawns on a chessboard. Led by an unknown hand. Their lives exist only to be sacrificed for a higher goal. Jonas, Mikkel, the children, they’re nothing but unfortunate yet necessary chess moves in an eternal war between good and evil. There are two groups out there fighting over control of time travel. Light and Shadow. We belong to the light. Don’t forget that.” Bartosz shrunk in his seat as Noah explained, “Even though some of what we do is of a dark nature. But no victory is ever won without sacrifice. As long as we’re in this time loop we who know have to make sure that every step is repeated exactly as it was before. No matter how inhumane it seems to us. No matter what sacrifices it demands of us. But believe me, the others are the ones who are truly inhumane. They have lost all humanity. They belong to the shadow. Your grandmother, Claudia, belongs to the shadow. Never trust her. No matter what she says. Jonas trusted her before and he will trust her again. Jonas thinks he will change everything… but he’s just her puppet. He doesn’t deserve any better.” Noah chuckled looking down at his book and handing it to Bartosz. “Time is an infinite field. Millions and millions of interlocking wheels. We have to be patient to be victorious. But our time will come. We will free humanity from its immaturity. From its pain. But you must be strong. Can you do that?”

Bartosz looked out the window knowing exactly what he wanted, “Yes.”

Noah checked his watch. “It’s time.”

The older Jonas crawled through the tunnels with his time machine under his arm. He sat inside and activated the machine. He looked next to him to see his father covered in the black goop next to him.

Mikkel smiled at his new home and Ines lifted him up to bring her new son inside of his house. The boy clinged onto his new mother. Charlotte walked down into the bunker to be greeted by her husband. While Katharina stared at her phone and tried to call her husband not knowing it was all in vain because he was getting beat up in a prison 66 years away from home. The middle aged Tannhaus and Claudia just starting to work on their new knowledge of time travel. Both sets of the Doppler families held onto each other as they felt Winden start to shake. Hannah stared at the gun on her table as Doris and Agnes shared a glass of whiskey. Tronte and Janna held onto each other. Magnus and Franziska sat up from the movie they were watching while cuddled on the couch together seeing an old 1986 candy commercial. Aleksander and Regina hopped out of their car to look at the giant black dome starting to encase the forest. Hannah lifted the gun and pointed it towards the wall as the older Nielsen couple held onto each other. The older Claudia held out her hands and felt the snow start to fall once more.

Helge and Jonas both felt the shaking. Then a bright light over took both of them. There in the middle of the room, almost like a mirror looking in to see the other one in a different place in time. Slowly they approached and touched fingers suddenly changing positions. Now Helge was in the blue room and Jonas was in the dark bunker. But something seemed off. This didn’t look to be the same from where Helge left. He stared at the pictures on the wall all linked together. He then ran out of the bunker to investigate.

It was snowing. He looked around and saw all the destruction. There before him was the aftermath of the Apocalypse. It wasn’t long before he ran into a band of people on a military styled truck. They called to him to put his hands up, which Jonas quickly complied scared of what was going to happen. He then was forced onto the ground. He started to ask questions wondering what was going on. Then a drone flew overhead. When he looked back to the girl with a scar, she simply told him, “Welcome to the future.” Then hit him with the butt of her rifle.

Annalise felt the ground shake. She curled up in her corner until she heard a strange noise. She looked up as a shining light illuminated her and the old room. She started to shake, “Jonas?” Whenever she asked she seemed to calm. Then slowly her face changed from one of confusion and terror to one of overwhelming joy and fondness. As if she was seeing a long lost friend, she started to cry happily, “Oh, Adam. You’re finally here.” She reached towards the light only to be sucked in.

#yesterday once more fanfic #dark fanfic #dark netflix #dark netflix fanfic #dark (netflix)#dark (netflix) fanfiction

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lucifercaelestis · 6 years

Text

how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

a fic i’ve been meaning to write for months and finally finished. basically shiro’s vlog plus a private message to keith, with a twist. hope you enjoy!!!

summary:

The night before their attack on Zarkon's base, Shiro decides to make some videos.

Months later after Shiro's disappearance, Keith watches them, feeling the weight of Shiro’s loss keenly.

read it on AO3

Shiro was frustrated.

He knew after the first hour of lying down in his bed that he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night. His body wouldn’t allow him to, and if for some reason he did manage to sleep, he would probably spend it trapped inside his nightmares.

No. Sleep was not an option.

What he really wanted to do was to go to the training deck where he could finally release the energy that had built up under his skin and distract himself from his worries. But he didn’t fancy the thought of getting caught and being dragged back to his room and ordered to sleep like a recalcitrant child.

So he was forced to make do with running through his workout routine in his room, and when the aimless tension got too much, he’d pace around his room.

It didn’t help that the workout got so repetitive and instinctual that it was all too easy for his mind to slip back and think about the battle coming tomorrow.

He was about to give up on restraint and just head to the training deck to spar with the training bots just so he wouldn’t have to think about all the ways it could go wrong tomorrow when he noticed a strange object Allura had given him a few weeks ago.

She’d called it a memory storage upload oscillator, mentioning that Coran had built it to record things. It had the appearance of old Altean tech, sleek and shiny with a telltale blue glow. To his surprise, it actually reminded him of a futuristic camera with a tablet attached by a cord. According to Allura, she wanted to record all of them officially for documentation purposes, that it would be a record of them for future Paladins.

She’d allowed him the privilege of going first, but he’d never found the time or inclination to do it before.

He smiled wryly. It was a hell of a time to record something like that, but it beat wearing himself out so much that he couldn’t even think anymore.

It was almost comforting in a way to know that some part of him would live on, even if he didn’t.

It was fairly easy to set up, even as he marvelled at the differences between the Altean tech and the few cameras he’d kept back on Earth. Finally, it lit up at his touch, displaying an empty storage space.

He adjusted the position of the device a few times before he finally felt satisfied. He ran his hand through his hair once to check if it was presentable before clearing his throat and preparing to speak.

***

Keith found Allura’s insistence on seeing him immediately somewhat bewildering. She’d asked for him to meet her privately as soon as he’d come within range of the comms devices even though she knew that he had just gotten back to the castle after a long and arduous flight to search for Shiro.

It must have been important but if he had even a little less self-control he would have been dragging his feet as he walked to the bridge from Red’s hangar.

His brow furrowed when Allura didn’t even chastise him for taking so long, instead waiting patiently for him to gather himself. His worries got worse when she still didn’t speak.

He was even more confused when she turned around to face him but she still couldn’t look him in the eye.

He’d missed it over the comms, but now that they were in the same room, there was a certain tension in the air.

“Allura, are you alright?” he asked. He couldn’t think of anything that could have happened while he was gone that would make her react like this. He froze when he realised one possibility.

Had he left them vulnerable to an attack, leaving them down by two lions while he was busy in another galaxy, looking for any traces of Shiro? Was she upset with him for that?

“Was there an attack? Did something happen while I was gone?”

She looked horrified at his assumption. “No, no, nothing of the sort,” she stated, still avoiding his eyes.

“What happened? Why was it so important for me to meet you immediately? ”

“I found something that–Well, please don’t be angry with me, I did not realise–“ she tried to explain, but it only succeeded in making Keith more confused.

"Allura. What happened?" he asked briskly.

Normally, he wouldn't be so short with her, having been relieved by her acceptance of him after her negative reaction to his Galra heritage but he was physically and mentally exhausted after a long and fruitless search and her evasiveness was starting to frustrate him.

She sighed heavily before replying. “There’s something I think you should see."

More than anything, it was her expression that threw him off. It was sad and guilty? He couldn't figure out why she was upset.

“I would advise you to watch it alone," Allura told him, pressing a tablet into his hands. She still looked sad as she walked away, like she didn't want to see how he reacted to it. She paused right before the doors, “I’m sorry, Keith."

After she left, he wasted no time walking back to his room.

Frustrated with her cryptic words, he almost just left the tablet on his table for another day. He was exhausted and his bed was like a siren’s call. Ultimately though, his curiosity won out.

What was it that could make Allura so upset upon seeing it and so important that she would insist on him seeing it immediately too?

His question was answered when he powered up the tablet and the first thing he saw were two thumbnails with Shiro’s face on them.

His hands trembled as he gripped the tablet tighter.

Was he really prepared to see this?

No. No, he wasn’t.

He pressed on the first thumbnail anyway.

The thumbnail enlarged, taking up the entire screen. Keith's eyes traced over Shiro's face hungrily.

“I'm Shiro, Paladin of the Black Lion and leader of Voltron.”

Shiro’s face and voice were just the same as they ever were, and for a second, Keith saw the image from the video in front of him superimposed by the picture of Shiro that had begun circulating after Pilot Error.

That image flickered and he saw Shiro as he was now, white hair and scar included and he forced himself to pay attention. Now wasn't the time to let his emotions get the better of him.

"I used to be a pilot for Galaxy Garrison before we were captured by the Galra and sent to the arena. Somehow, the Garrison never covered what to do when an alien empire kidnaps you on one of your missions. Not very thorough of them, I’d say."

Keith wanted to groan. It was just like Shiro to downplay everything that happened to him like it was just a minor setback in his life and make a joke about it too.

“Thankfully I escaped. I found my team– well, technically, they found me, and somehow we ended up fighting against an empire that stretches across most of the universe in 5 mechanical lions that combine to form a giant robot. Apparently when life gives you lions, you make a giant robot man?"

Keith couldn't help but snort at that. He’d missed Shiro’s brand of humour more than he’d thought; other than the morbid kind that came out when he was dying, he could live without that.

Shiro continued, unknowing of Keith's amusement. "I’m proud of them though. We're a bit of a ragtag group but seeing how much they’ve grown and improved, well, I couldn’t ask for a better team."

Shiro straightened up in his seat, falling into what Keith liked to call leader-mode.

“Being Black’s paladin is a privilege. The bond between a lion and their paladin is all about trust, and I hope can prove myself worthy of it someday."

Seeing how much Shiro clearly loved the Black Lion, how naturally he’d taken to being a leader, it only made it so much clearer what they were missing now.

“We’ve come so far, and tomorrow we’re taking the next step to ending this war once and for all. So even though I’m worried about what might happen tomorrow, I have hope. ”

Shiro had this ability to draw people in, to make them believe in him. He’d seen it back at the Garrison and he saw it later when Shiro acted as the leader of Voltron. Even the Galra couldn’t change that. Something about him just made you believe in something bigger than yourself.

He made you want to be better than you were.

“A wise man once told me, if you get too worried about what could go wrong, you might miss the chance to do something great.”

Shiro smiled, eyes all but gleaming with trust and belief, and Keith wondered how someone like Shiro could possibly exist.

“So go. Be great."

Seeing this video, it just drove in the fact that their team was missing something essential without Shiro.

He rubbed his thumb over his fisted hand and took a shaky breath. There was still one more video to go.

Clicking on the icon, he waited for Shiro to begin speaking.

”Keith." Shiro's voice lowered to that gentle, private tone he always used when talking to Keith. Of all the things about Shiro Keith never thought he’d miss, hearing the way Shiro said his name hadn’t even made it on the list.

That didn’t stop him from wanting to lean into it.

His gaze was fixed on Shiro, but it was always like that wasn’t it? He’d never stood a chance.

“Keith– If you’re listening to this–” Shiro faltered for the first time since the videos began, “–if you’re listening to this, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep my promise after all.”

Keith had to choke down a sob. Shiro had promised once that he’d never leave Keith, that he’d always come back. It had been broken once after Kerberos, shattering the life Keith had made for himself, only coming back together when he found Shiro in a Garrison containment unit. And now, again, after Keith thought they were finally safe. That this time, he could protect Shiro.

It seemed like Shiro was destined to break his promise, and Keith was helpless to break the cycle they were trapped in.

Losing each other, finding, and losing again. Rinse and repeat. The universe did love its patterns after all.

“There are so many things that I want. I want to go home with you. I want you all to be safe. I want this all to be over already. But I have a bad feeling about tomorrow, and if there’s any chance I could save you, I’m going to take it. I never wanted to leave you behind again... I guess it was always meant to end this way.”

No. He would find Shiro. He wouldn’t give up on Shiro, even if it seemed like Shiro had given up on himself.

“I know, I know, you’d hate me saying this, but I’d fight it ok? I’d fight to come back to you.”

If there was anything he could trust, it was Shiro.

“Who would have ever thought we would end up here? This wasn’t how I expected to be going into space with you, but I’m so glad that you’re here with me. You’ve saved me, so many times, and you keep saving me, just by being here."

Shiro laughed wryly.

"How many times are you gonna have to save me before this is over? ”

As many times as it takes, Keith wanted to promise. Every day for the rest of his life if he had to.

Then Shiro tilted his head, and his eyes crinkled as he smiled, and Keith had to swallow around the lump in his throat.

He hadn’t managed to save Shiro yet this time, but he would.

“I like to think that we were always meant to find each other. You said I changed your life, Keith, but I can’t imagine who I’d be without you. ”

It was hard to imagine who he would have been without Shiro too. Shiro had been the one thing he couldn't expect, and he had been the one to change everything.

"Maybe after all of this is over, we can stay out here, exploring the universe like we’ve always dreamed of. Co-pilots…Partners?” Shiro offered.

A future. Shiro wanted a future with him, even after everything.

"I have so many regrets already, I don’t want this to be one of them.”

Shiro paused, looking like saying whatever he was going to say was the hardest thing he would ever do.

“I love you. I don't know how long I've loved you, but god, sometimes I feel like I've loved you my whole life. ”

Keith’s heart stopped for a moment before it started beating again twice as fast. Shiro loved him.

“If I had to tell you when I realised it though, it must have been when I woke up in your shack, and your face was the first thing I saw, and all I could think of was ‘I'm home’."

Somehow Shiro had managed to pin down exactly what Keith felt the first time he saw Shiro again, after Kerberos. He’d looked at Shiro and for the first time in over a year, he'd felt like he was finally home.

“I always wanted to make history, you know? I loved space, but more than that, I wanted to be the one to bring humanity further than they had ever been before. But now…if I had a choice... If there's any way I want to be remembered, I want it to be for loving you."

The screen suddenly blurred and he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. It had been so long since the last time he'd cried that he wasn't sure how to stop anymore.

Tears fell onto the tablet, smearing the screen even more and his grip slackened. It fell to the floor with a thud, and the screen cracked, leaving the image of Shiro smiling frozen forever.

#voltron #sheith #shiro #keith #my writing #this was fun to write

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opisasodomite · 7 years

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Answer all of them. That's right you bastard, every damn one. We're gonna overload this site with the cuteness that is your relationship. Happy goddamn Easter.

You sent me this just to torture me damn you Nicole 1. Have you met your soul mate?Well that term is cheesy as hell but I literally can't imagine anyone more compatible with me than Act and I love him super lots so... Yes? I guess?2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?I used to really love green partly because Irish but now I'm all about the purple because I am the Byzantine emperor3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?Get anything away from my eyes I am terrified of anything makeup related near my eyes even eye shadow4. Are you in love right now?YES5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?No but the fact that I literally saw Act's OkCupid profile and immediately thought wow what a cool dude sure says a lot about my judgment lol6. Are you an optimist, realist, opportunist, or pessimist?I guess I consider myself a realist? Like things aren't either wholly bad or good and I do believe you can advance if you take opportunity but ultimately you are limited based off of your circumstances like wealth race status and mental health, stuff like that. 7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)lol I'm going to do both first kisses because I really wish my first was actually Act. So it's high school and no other gay kids existed ooexcept my friends friend. We start dating because duh gay. We go to a school concert and I'm like trying to be cutesy and romantic so I tell him, because I'm dying of heat in the winter because Florida, "if I had do be overheating at least it's with you~*~" and then cue kiss. He was an ugly dude but damn did he know how to kiss.My first kiss with Act was actually damned passionate. We meet up after talking for months for the first time. I drove six hours from Tampa to Savannah and we meet and hang out all day right. It's all very simple and very chaste. We go hang out at my hotel afterwards though where we pretend we don't know what we wanna do. So we start cuddling... My god I've never felt such electricity from someone touching me. He says he's wanted to do that all day as we just hold hands. I then ask if we can kiss. We lean in gently and it's awkward but feels so good...We didn't do anything else except make out but it was great.8. Do you own stickers, an stationary?No but Act taught me calligraphy and I really should learn it again and get some nice stationary for fun.9. What’s your aesthetic?Uh... Colorful pants? That's all I guess lol 🤣10. Do you wear dresses, and skirts?Nah11. What is your hair like?Resistant to change. I have blond and wavy hair but no matter what I do it always wants to lie flat on my head so I've given up doing fancy stuff with it and just do some decent styling.12. Does time go by fast or slow to you?Too damn FAST when Act is here and too damn SLOW when I'm bored to death.13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?This question assumes I have a regular sleep schedule.I guess normally I fall asleep around 2 and wake up at 10 though.14. Favorite sweet food?Hmm... Lately I've kinda become an endless cheesecake eater. That and cookies or ice cream.15. Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa?I would die without coffee but tea is also good. 16. Space, Ocean, City, or Forest?I'm a forest gay.17. Favorite game as a child?Video game: the Legend of Zelda: Wind WakerBoard game: this weird version of chess called stratego? I would always play it with my mom lolOutdoors: uhhh baseball? If by baseball you mean hitting a ball and not having to run lol18. Comfort book?It's hardly a comfort book because it's the embodiment of Angst™ but the only book I can just open and read a bit of is Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. The narrative voice and theme of adolescent identity crisis really kinda got to me when I first read it. I still identify heavily with the characters and love the surreal, almost cerebral tone.19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?I'm a forest fairy boy thanks 20. Do you fall in love easily?Lol very much so. I met Act in person once, and we were just chatting one night on the phone and he was translating "Now I See the Light" from Tangled from Swedish into English and it just hit me: this super nerd is the cutest and most interesting guy I've ever met, and has a beautiful voice and personality. 21. Favorite word?Apparently. It's quite versatile and always has a ring of sarcasm to it.22. Describe your life in 3 words.AHHHHHHHHHHH (grad school), Act, Nicole 23. Do you dance? Slow dance?lol nope 24. Do you wear fake nails, or paint your nails?Nah 25. Has anyone ever confessed to you?I'm literally the confidante of both of my best friends (Act included) so yes26. Do you lie?Yeah. White lies though, I can't stand being deceitful unless I'm trying to avoid something unpleasant for me or anyone else. Like I'll say I'm going to bed but really just want alone time or I'll say I need to get home instead of I really don't want to be in social situations right now.27. What makes you smile?Thinking about my boyfriend :)Otherwise it's my super cool friend @stained-glass-rose That jerk 28. Have you ever cried in a book or movie?Duh. I sob at any emotional scenes 29. When and who was your first crush?Hmm that's hard to say really. The first super super deep one was with this guy Chaz in high school, my best friend at the time. He and I had 6/7 of our classes together and spent every day eating lunch with each other. During the summer he would ask me to come over every day and after I came out he got even more physically affectionate with me. During freshman year English class we watched a shitty version of the Odyssey and he just rested his head on my arms and napped there. It was super super gay for me. We still suspect he was probably attracted to guys.30. Marriage or kids?Marriage without a doubt, it's legally convenient and frankly I like the idea of a nice commitment thingy. Kids I'm gonna need a long time to think about because I'm an anxious and depressed mess who can hardly handle himself and is afraid of getting a pet even. I like the idea of giving a sweet kid a good home but I'm worried I'm not up for it. We shall see. 31. Are you superstitious?Not at all. Tbh I find ghosts, magic, superstitions, and all that to be completely silly.32. Who’s your 3 am thought?Take a wild guess lol(Act~)33. Do you like candy? What’s your favorite candy?I have a horrible sweet tooth: I love mostly fruit flavored candies like skittles and twizzlers and life savers especially.34. Favorite holiday?Christmas because winter :p35. Favorite season?WINTER I AM A FURNACE36. Cat or dog person?I love dogs so much they are my life's goal. I've always had one until I moved away.I used to be meh about cats, neither liked nor disliked them, but now I'm appreciating them and their personalities which are so much different from what I'm used to with dogs. They're beautiful and elegant and dumb and adorable creatures all at once. I still don't think I want one though but when a cat lets me pet them I feel Blessed™37. Are you quiet or loud?I'm quiet if I don't know you and I never shut up if I do38. Favorite time period? (80′s, 60′s, etc.The 80s would've been great if Reagan wasn't president and AIDS never existed. The music, aesthetic, movies, and all that are some of my favorite enduring things.39. Favorite fashion fad that went away?Skinny jeans. I'm very disappointed because absurdly tight pants are my go to fashion choice40. The best dream/ worst nightmare you’ve ever had?I have weird nasty horror nightmares but the freakiest one was a weirdass realistic one.TW: Sexual assault, pedophilliaMy worst nightmare involved my old roommate that me and Nicole used to live with. An old friend's friend contacted me and asked to hang out in the dream. I agree and he's on his way over: while he's out in my living room I hear my roommates door close and I find graphic pictures showing the dude into those diaper kink things and somehow this made me certain he was gonna hurt her.I burst out of my room and try to open her door only to find he's locked it and assaulting her at that exact moment. He then mocks me through he door as I desperately try to get in and stop him.God I was so scared for her and Nicole from that point on41. Worst fear as a kid?... To be honest it was (and still is) being raped or kidnapped and molested.44. Do you flirt?With my boyfriend :p45. What’s your style?I have none I'm a giant spastic nerd 46. Do you blush?Not often anymore but I get bashful when flirting with Act or when he gives me an unsolicited compliment. Also Nicole's mom called me and him adorable while we were being cute and me and him both blushed lol47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?I feel numb a lot of the time but I think I'm able to feel some things again. I still don't feel like I feel as much as I should48. Are you a crier? Do you smile?I'm not as much of a crier as I used to be but I can still break out at the slightest touch if I get in an argument or stressed.49. First love?Act.50. Last love?Still love Act :p

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alexheathen · 7 years

Text

Growths

This is the story of my life, from the perspective of my relationship with my mother and her 13 years with cancer. I’ve posted bits and pieces of it before, but I felt like I could finally write it, and anon asked, so here it is. Warning: long as fuck.

The experience of my mother’s illness is central to my biography, without a doubt. Our relationship was incredibly close. I am the firstborn son in my family, so I suppose it was inevitable. She read to me almost every night when I was little: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Once and Future King, and then Winnie the Pooh after the epic fantasy well dried up. I was discouraged from sports and imbued with the generalized fear/caution many of us 90’s kids seemed to get growing up. In fewer words, I was super nerdy, and I 100% had mom to blame.

For much of her life, my mom’s best friend was her older sister, Patricia, or Pat, for short. Pat received her first breast cancer diagnosis in 1993, fairly late in the tumor’s development. Treatment was aggressive, as it tends to be on the first go round - both breasts removed and intensive chemotherapy. Still, the disease progressed and eventually spread to her ovaries; she died in 1995 due to complications from chemo (treatment is inevitably worse than disease when we talk about cancer). My mother was devastated, and I was five years old and confused. Why was everyone crying? What happened? When my grandma told me my aunt was just sleeping, mom scolded her for lying to me. “She’s gone to heaven,” mom said, “and she’s not coming back.” The Lion King came out that year, and they played “The Circle of Life” over her memorial slideshow at the wake. A wake that was held at the high school I would attend, over ten years later. My sophomore English teacher was the woman who had been hired to replace my aunt after she died, and she passed along one of my aunt’s annotated books, which she had kept all those years. That was a very spooky day.

Breast cancer haunts my family; the genetic specter of the BRCA1 mutation looms large in my family tree, comorbid with clinical depression. My grandmother had two run ins with it, and though she only had a double mastectomy as treatment, she lived well into her eighties. In addition to my aunt, there is a cemetery of second cousins and great aunts I never met. Among the women of my generation, getting tested for the gene mutation is something of a rite of passage.

My mom’s first diagnosis was in April of 2002. Being a bookish and political child, I had been rocked by 9/11 the year before: the day after the attack I threw up on the bus and mom had taken me home. In less than a year, mortality entered my life, first on a grand scale, and then on a very personal one. My schoolwork suffered and what social life I had withered, since I relied on my mom to arrange it. As is often the case, I withdrew into books and videogames. In hindsight, I realize I was profoundly depressed, but as the oldest I took it upon myself to make sure no one worried about me - this was the only way I had control of my situation.

Fearing the swift and painful demise of her sister, my mother opted for an even more aggressive course of treatment - severe chemotherapy, the removal of both breasts and her uterus. In those days, our house was a still as a crypt. Every day, I would come home from school afraid she had died while I was gone. Many afternoons were spent sneaking into my parents bedroom to make sure she was still breathing, then falling into my own bed to weep or scream into the pillow before falling into an uneasy sleep. I have distinct memories of recurring nightmares from this time of my life, where my soul would leave my body and float around my house, completely out of my control.

This relatively brief period, less than a year, would define my adolescence. Even after her disease had gone into remission, I did my best to make sure mom had no cause to worry, even as my grades slipped in and out of dire straits. I was determined to make sure my parents had no cause to worry about me being “one of the bad kids" and I had also been marked by the unresolved experience of my mother’s illness, so I was indelibly separated from most of my peers. As a result, I missed out on a lot of teenage degeneracy, and most of the developmental milestones of that period as well. I struggled to separate myself from my parents. Teenage mawkishness was made worse by trauma. I had hoped college would be a clean break; in ways it was and in ways it wasn’t.

The summer of my senior year of highschool my mom received her second breast cancer diagnosis. This time, however, I at least had some agency. I made myself useful as I could around the house, cleaning and mowing the lawn, and I drove my mom to and from her chemotherapy appointments. When I left in the fall, she still had three more months of treatment to go, but the fear of death was not present as it was the first time. Separated from the events of my mother’s illness, I was able to use it as a motivation instead of a burden for the first time in my life. I excelled my first year of college - three semesters on the honor, and I won an iPad from the freshman writing competition. I wrote the winning essay the night before it was due, after smoking heavily. It was supposed to have been a work memoir, but I hadn’t worked much at that point, so I made up a job at Barnes and Noble and wrote most of the essay about taking care of my mother that summer. In a small way, I hated myself for it - in high school I always resented the kids who wrote sob stories to win contests while I proudly suffered in silence.

By junior year, however, I was severely depressed again, as I moved off of campus and lost my social support network. There was a semester I missed half of the classes in two courses, having become deeply confused about what I wanted from life and entered into existential catatonia. Still, I didn’t seek help, beyond smoking cigarettes, weed and taking the occasional acid trip. This turned around a bit, fall of my senior year, when I had my strongest experiences of friendship and creativity, and began to study mysticism and spirituality, but it was short-lived.

Come January of 2013, suspicious dark spots appeared on one of mom’s regularly scheduled MRI’s. The doctors waffled back and forth over whether or not it was cancer; but I think we all knew. The day my mother called to tell me it was officially back, I had spent the morning chanting Om Mani Padme Hum and had found a unique tranquility, like a warm green sun was holding my heart. I met that devastating phone call with grace and tranquility - and then had it decimated over the coming months.

I could barely keep it together to deal with school - I was okay in class but I didn’t have the presence of mind to work on assignments. As much as I could afford to, I smoked weed - which wasn’t very much - I was unemployed and my dad was tightening the purse strings to encourage me to look for work. One day, stoned, desperate, and staring down finals feeling completely helpless, I shaved my head and eyebrows, hoping to elicit some sympathy/be forced into talking about my dire situation. And it worked - three of my four professors passed me, to some degree or another, even though I either turned in the final essays late or not at all. The only one that didn’t, amusingly enough, was a 100-level course I had put off until the end of my degree - “Honors 105: Religious Worldviews and Ethical Perspectives.” I failed that course twice and didn’t graduate because of it.

My family didn’t know I had shaved my head; when my mother came to graduation she was deeply disturbed by it, because it was an explicit reminder of the impact her illness had on me. The night before graduation, I smoked the last bit of resin in my bowl and went into uneasy sleep. I woke up an hour late the next morning, threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed my cap and gown and ran for the bus. I didn’t have time to go to the bathroom, so I ended up shitting in the bushes in front of Soldier’s Field, Chicago, which was near where the ceremony was held. I eventually made it; mom was pissed, dad was confused, and my middle sister, I would later find out, was going through her own mental health troubles.

I should’ve moved home immediately, but I spent June through August in another existential catatonia. I was supposed to be looking for jobs; I read manga, watched Super Sentai, drank beer and smoked cigarettes. In September my dad came in a moving van to take me home; the night before we left he parked in a grocery store parking lot, and to add insult to injury, it got impounded and he had to pay $500 to get it out.

I spent the rest of 2013 and most of 2014 in near catatonia again, playing shit loads of video games - I remember playing Dishonored, Deus Ex HR, and Dark Souls in particular. I also remember playing Borderlands every damn day for a month when they were doing a “win a million dollars!” promo. My sister was about to graduate high school, had blue hair and was trying on being a lesbian. We became really close during this time, sneaking around to smoke cigarettes and supporting each other through our misery. I also got really close to my mom; sometimes we would spend whole mornings talking over coffee, both feeling guilty over the pain we had caused each other.

I eventually started seeing a therapist and taking 20mg of Lexapro daily, and finally I got the monkey off my back. I found a job, first working in a warehouse, and then a bank. Mom’s condition worsened, of course. You don’t survive a third diagnosis, so the chemotherapy she was taking was only to extend her life bit by bit. April of 2015, she was on so many fucking drugs she was getting loopy, culminating in her telling me “You were the beginning of the misery in my life,” while I was putting away the dishes one night. I brushed it off, but when I was alone I completely lost it, just burst into tears, and I confronted her, and she was shocked at her own behavior. She had no explanation. She was hospitalized for the last week of April, they recalibrated her meds, and she entered hospice care in May.

She lived for another six months, until October 15th, 2015. I got reassigned at the bank to one of the most hellish, tedious jobs I’ve ever experienced. During lunch I would go out, guiltily smoke cigarettes and contemplate jumping off the parking garage. I was catastrophically lonely August through September.

The night mom died was a Friday. I had gone to pick up some hard cider after worked - Rhinegeist Red. The day before, she had gone to the clinic where she received her chemo and said goodbye to all the technicians - some of these people she had known for ten years. I have to imagine those are some of the most peculiar friendships in all of human experience. She and dad also went to say goodbye to the neighbors from the house I grew up in. Dad was surprised that night - she seemed stronger than she had in months. This “golden day” is apparently typical for people in hospice care.

Friday morning, mom had started to have trouble breathing around 10:00 am. She just couldn’t catch her breath, and she was in a lot of pain. The hospice nurse came by and upped her morphine dosage, and told my father to continue to administer another dose every half hour.

When I came home, it seemed like the house was empty. I put my cider on the kitchen table, and suddenly the bathroom door opened. Mom had braced herself against the door frame; dad was holding her up. As he carried her into the kitchen, I saw death like I never had before.

My mother’s left eye was cast toward heaven. The right one wobbled ghoulishly in its socket. Her skin was the color of old glue. Her eyes had been off kilter for a few weeks - somewhere a tumor was interfering with her ocular nerve - but the pallor was new.

Dad called the hospice nurse again, after putting mom in the hospital bed that had become a fixture in our living room. I drank a can of cider. Mom fluttered in and out of consciousness.

My yoga teacher had suggested I read to her while she lay in bed, and out of sentiment’s sake I had chosen Winnie the Pooh. I was in such a poor state that I had only done it once before that day, though, so I started the second chapter as we waited for the nurse.

As fate would have it, it was the story where Pooh goes to Rabbit’s house, eats too much honey, and gets caught in the door on his way out. Wouldn’t it be odd, I thought, morbidly, if this was the last story I read to her? This story of a sweet old bear caught halfway out the door.

The hospice nurse arrived, checked mom’s vitals and swabbed the saliva from her mouth, as she could no longer swallow. The nurse walked dad and I into the other room, and told us she probably had a week to live. It was like a grenade went off in the room. I needed to steady myself, so I went upstairs, got on the computer, and read comics reviews.

Shortly thereafter, mom’s morphine pump ran out of batteries. Dad went upstairs to get the replacements. When he was halfway down the stairs, the nurse shouted “Steve, she’s going!” He vaulted the rest of the steps, and I followed shortly thereafter.

When we arrived, mom sputtered out her last few breaths. Dad said, “I love you Mel. I’ll never forget you, as long as I live.” All I could say, was sorry, over and and over again.

Dad stayed with her body, and I went to pick up my sister from college. It was a I miracle I didn’t get into and accident. I bawled and wailed the whole way there, a and then I was done.

The day of the funeral was sunny and crisp, autumn at its most sublime. The service was held a the church mom had grown up in, a small Lutheran chapel with stained glass windows.

I wrote my mother’s eulogy. I had planned to for years. It was the best speech I ever gave - my diction was clear, my gaze met the crowd. Afterwards, they would tell me they saw her standing behind me.

I didn’t stutter until the very end, when I said the words she wanted to be remembered for:

“Life is short; be kind, and be memorable.”

And then I sat in the pew, and shed one last tear.

I wish I could tell you I fixed after that, but I wasn’t. I spent another four months at that hellish bank job before I quit. When I quit, I took up yoga again, and started cooking. I began to rebuild myself. During that time, my friend’s mother helped me find a teaching job, here in Korea, and that’s how I finally began living again.

Is everything perfect now? Of course not. I still have trouble getting close to people; I’m a twenty six year old virgin. But things are a hell of a lot better, and it’s getting easier all the time.

#damn it anon you made me cry

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frozen-heart101 · 6 years

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Prince of Arendelle

Elsa sat motionless on the roof of the old toothpick factory. She waited for her target to get in range. This guy was practically Yama's right hand man. Getting him ment getting a spy in place, and also a very long vacation for Elsa. And boy, did she need it. Things were insane nowadays. Anna needed more help studying, the cats needed tons of attention, flu season hit the org hard, so staff and field agents were low, and to top it all off, the weasel was closer than ever to proving that she was behind the assassinations and arresting her because her boyfriend, Tadashi Hamada, slipped up. Ain't that much coffee in the world could keep the poor assassin going on. Elsa needed a nap. Scratch that, she needed to go into hibernation for the summer. But to do that, she had to get this job done, and done right.

"C'mon, buddy. Just a few more steps left. . ." Elsa mumbled. She could practically feel her sheets and the soft pillows already. "Go on, move!" Elsa hissed under her breath.

POW! The man was dead as soon as he stepped in range. But Elsa couldn't celebrate just yet. The building she had nested on was over sixty-two years old, and had been abandoned for fifty-nine. So when her rifle went off, the shock of the kickback caused the roof to cave in. Elsa barely managed to grab a pipe to keep from falling. As she tried to find a way out, she heard. . . Voices? But the building had been abandoned for years!

"I'd better see what this is." Elsa mumbled to herself. She carefully swung her legs up and over the pipe and crawled along it to the next room. She nearly gasped when she saw two men standing over a little boy. The poor kid was spitting blood and badly bruised, looking like an abused little puppy. The men were hurling insults at him, kicking him and throwing him around. The boy was sobbing, pleading his captors to stop, begging to be let go.

"Shut up! You're nothing but a worthless little mistake! If your father wasn't our boss, you'd be long dead!" The bigger man yelled. He delivered a kick to the boy's ribs. Elsa cringed at the loud crack that followed. The boy screamed. "And don't think that prostitute that birthed you would care either if you hadn't killed her!"

"I-it w-wasn't m-my f-fault." The boy choked after a few minutes of coughing up more blood. The smaller of the two men grabbed the kid and held him at eye level.

"Oh yes it was, Mistake. You came a week early, and were too big for her body to handle. You. Killed. Her!" He growled, throwing the boy against the wall. "And now we'll get our revenge. You're to be our test subject in our most deadly experiment yet! If it works, you'll become a monster controlled by us to destroy the Org!" Elsa almost gasped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I should kill these creeps here and now! But I don't want to deal with a kid. I don't want to kill the poor boy, either. I'll just watch for a little longer." Elsa thought. But just in case, she checked to make sure she had her pistol. The man went on talking.

"If it fails, well, I heard that the serum makes you practically immortal, but you'll always feel a searing pain all over. And it never, ever dissipates."

"N-no! Please don't d-do this!" The boy pleaded. "I've a-already g-got f-freaky p-powers f-from your last experiments. I'll do what you want! Just please no more experiments!"

"As if we'd listen to you! Go get the serum." The first man shouted, holding the boy by his neck. The second man started for the door. Elsa knew she couldn't let this happen.

"I hope Anna doesn't mind me adopting a kid!"

Elsa leapt off the pipe and onto the second man, knocking him out. The first man whirled around. He dropped the kid and kicked him to the side. He lunged at Elsa, but she was faster. Her pistol was in her hand before the man could blink.

Bang! The man stopped to stare at the hole in his chest before falling to the ground, dead as a coffin nail. Elsa shot the other man in the head and placed her gun in his hand to make it look like a suicide. She turned her attention to the whimpering mass in the corner. She cautiously approached.

"Hey little guy. . . Don't worry, I'm here to rescue you." Elsa cooed. She knelt beside the poor kid. He looked her dead in the eye, searching for any sign of hostility. He flinched when she tried to touch his shoulder. "It's okay, buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not scary."

"Uh. . . I-i wouldn't s-say that." The boy looked from the dead men to Elsa.

"Okay, so I'm scary when I need to be. Look kid, you're safe with me. I swear as an assassin, I'll won't harm you." The boy relaxed slightly. He allowed Elsa to gently help him sit up. She checked him over, finding a broken leg, a few busted ribs, and a ton of bruises.

"What's an Assassin?" He asked quietly. Elsa rubbed the nape of her neck.

"I’ll explain it to you when we get home. You're still pretty shaken." Elsa said quickly. The boy looked confused.

"Home? What's that?" He asked. Elsa smiled.

"It means I'm taking you in. I could use a little kid like you around the house. You're going to be my apprentice."

"Oh." The boy sighed. "Apprentices don't get beat up if they make mistakes, do they?"

"I promise kid, no one's going to beat you up. What's your name?"

"They call me Mistake." The kid hung his head. Elsa frowned.

"Yeah, no. That's not your name." She noticed a little crown on his neck. "How about Prince? I think that fits you better than Mistake."

"What's a Prince?"

"These goons did nothing to educate you? Disgraceful." Elsa mumbled. She carefully lifted Prince off the ground. He panicked for a moment, squirming to get our of her arms. "Don't worry, Prince. You're okay buddy. Calm down. No one's going to hurt you anymore. Not on my watch. I'm just carrying you to the car. You can't walk with a broken leg."

"I'm sorry." Prince whimpered. He stopped fighting and forced himself to relax.

"Don't be. I get it, you're scared of people because of the abuse they put you through. This is probably the first time someone stood up for you, right?"

"It's the first time anyone ever cared." Prince sighed. "They would kidnap agents from the 'org' and, half the time, they'd put them in my cell. They think up elaborate escape plans after watching me get beat up and experimented on. They never tried to get me out, and when they did escape, I was blamed. You're the first person to actually care."

"Wow, that's awful! Don't worry buddy, my sister and I will give you a good home." Elsa declared. She found the exit after a few minutes of walking around and headed to her car. She looked at Prince, who was looking around at the parking lot as if he'd never been outside, which Elsa guessed he hadn't. "How old are you, little guy?"

"I don't know. Probably ten."

"Way too young to go through that abuse. Let's just get you to the hospital. They can fix your leg and ribs." She set the boy down in the backseat of the car and drove to the hospital. Prince started flipping out. He was terrified of doctors, having grown up as a Guinea pig for whatever twisted experiments those men did. Elsa managed to calm him by assuring that she would be with him at all times. She took him inside.

"What can I do for you, miss?" The receptionist asked.

"It's the kid. He's got a few busted ribs and a broken leg. He was abused, so he's scared to let people touch him. I'm the only person he's okay with so far. I need to stay with him."

"What's your relation to the patient?"

"Uh. . . I literally just rescued him from a couple guys who were torturing him. I'm not blood related, but you need to let me stay with him!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you stay with him unless you're a family member."

"The only family he has is his dad, and he doesn't want anything to do with him!" Elsa felt Prince cringe in her arms. She whispered a quick apology before continuing. "Can't you just say I'm his adoptive mother?"

"Alright, I guess that's okay. What's his name?"

"Prince."

"Age?"

"Ten."

"Date of. . . Never mind. You probably don't know that."

"December twenty-first, 2008." Prince said. Elsa smiled at him.

"Thanks buddy." She said. Once Prince was properly bandaged and cared for, Elsa took him to her and Anna's apartment. Anna wasn't home yet, so it was pretty quiet.

"Is this where you live?" Prince asked. Elsa nodded. She carried him to her room and set him down on her bed.

"You rest here. I'm going to get some snacks ready, you must be hungry. I'll just be in the next room. Yell if you need me." Elsa said. She tucked him in and left the room. A few minutes later, she returned to find the poor boy asleep. He looked scared, like he was having a nightmare. Tears streamed down his cheeks like little rivers of fear. Elsa didn't really know what to do, so she gently rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay buddy. It's only a dream. You're fine. I'm here for you. . ."

Elsa! I'm home!" Anna called from the living room. Elsa did nothing, instead continuing to console her sleeping adoptive son. Anna entered Elsa's room, noticing Prince immediately. "Okay sis, I'm fine with taking in stray cats. But where did you find a child!? Wait, did you have to kill his parents!? Tell me you didn't!"

"Anna, I rescued Prince from a couple goons who were abusing him. He's only ten. He needs me, I'm the only person he is comfortable with. He's staying with us, and I'm not changing my mind." Elsa declared. Anna could tell her sister was resolute.

"At least tell me where he came from." Elsa granted her sister's request and told her how she came about taking Prince in. Anna excepted him after that.

"Hmm, what's going on?" Prince mumbled, still half asleep.

"It's okay Prince. It's just my sister, Anna. She's nice, and she'd love to meet you." Elsa cooed. Prince looked at the other young woman. She looked nice enough. She stuck out her hand for a handshake. He flinched back, hiding under the covers.

"Come on out buddy. I'm not going to hurt you." Anna said. Prince peeked out a little, enough for Elsa to gently pull him into her lap and hold him. He didn't squirm, which was a good sign to Elsa. Either he was getting more comfortable around her, or he didn't want to deal with the pain in his chest from the broken ribs or his broken leg. He did flinch when Anna caressed his cheek, but only once.

"Good buddy, you're learning. You can say goodbye to the years of abuse. You're safe with me and Anna." Elsa said, hugging him softly, trying her best not to disrupt his ribcage.

"Poor thing. What monster would ever want to hurt this little angel? He's so cute!" Anna squealed. Prince didn't know how to respond. He'd never been shown any affection before. Now he had two people promising they wouldn't harm a cell on his body. The red-head had called him "cute", a term of endearment he hoped. (He had no idea what "cute" meant.) They were actually treating him like he was wanted, like he was loved. Feeling too awkward to say anything, and still questioning whether the girls meant it or not, he thought about a way to change the topic of conversation.

"What do I call you?" He asked Elsa.

"Why are you just asking now?" Anna asked.

"It just occurred to me. I don't know." He shrugged.

"It's okay kid. My name is Elsa Arendelle. You can use that or whatever you see fit."

"Okay." They sat quietly for a bit before Elsa spoke up.

"Hey, you said you had freaky powers from past experiments. If you don't mind, what are they?" Prince sighed.

"Well, I'm faster than the speed of light, for one. That's why they broke my leg. I have extensive medical and scientific knowledge, most of which is fairly useless unless you're studying to be a nurse or doctor or engineer. I also have impenetrable skin. The only way I lose blood is if I'm spitting it." He explained. Elsa lit up at his descriptions.

"This is perfect! Just what we needed." She exclaimed.

"By the way, you never told me what an Assassin was." Prince pointed out.

"An assassin? Well, to put it simply, I take out the bad guys. Like I did to those a-holes who were torturing you." Elsa said nervously.

"So, your a murderer." Prince stated with an accusing glare.

"Well. . . Yeah, but for the good guys!"

"Hmm. When does training start?"

"Wait, really?" Prince nodded. "As soon as you heal!"

"Oh great. Now there's two of you." Anna grumbled.

"He could help you study."

"Fine." The three of them knew that this was going to be the best decision of their lives.

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