#is this anything??????

[ludcake]

-Karl Marx, the Eighteenth Brumaire of Napoleon Bonaparte, 1852

-George R R Martin, Fire and Blood, 2018

-George R R Martin, A Clash of Kings, 1998

#is this anything?????? #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #houseofthedragon

[smokerkeiji]

so its the middle of the night and i'm rereading one of the earlier sections of the yuri zine and i come back to this quote, "sometimes when looking at my self is as painful as staring directly into the sun, my solution has typically been to study the reflection in the moon" and it all just sort of hit me. holy hell. inside mari. to study yourself through another pair of eyes, in her case. this language unlocked so many different ways of understanding inside mari that i just started scribbling on my ipad until next thing i knew an hour had passed and i ran out of white space and how did i even get here? anyways. here is the batshit insane looking page where i dumped all the thoughts i'm going to attempt to organize them here? this image is just so funny to me now i thought i should include it.

the horror of Looking at your own self.

a lot of yuri zine talked about reading and interacting with yuri as a form of self identification. and how those bring up both good feelings (gender validating) and bad feelings (confronting yourself and your regret and your shame for whatever reasons you may have). both as a consumer of this media but also found within the characters themselves in the stories we read. considering how the big reveal of the entire story is about how. in an attempt to identify herself, mari was forced to truly look at herself. something she literally couldn't handle. throughout the zine, the authors all in one way or another touch upon the idea of how uncomfortable it is to confront yourself. to look at yourself. its shown through jennifer and needy's relationship in jennifer's body, which i hadn't thought about but one of the essays in this zine explains it so well. it's shown through when readers see too much of themselves in certain characters. this feeling of discomfort exists both in and out of the texts we talk about. and how this sort of leads into the understanding that yuri is "the relationship to absence, to projection." the yuri that of inside mari is how she absents herself as a way to allow herself to love Yori (to love girls in general). (i want to emphasize how in allowing herself, it implying the norm for her was denying herself, stopping herself, punishing herself for feeling the way she did) because the whole time, the mari we see is just mari the whole time. not komori body swapped into mari's body. the mind warping mental gymnastics she goes through to live this sort of delusion allows her to be a boy who's just trapped in a girl's body. it allows her own self to love girls and accept this because. it's not mari thinking these things, it's komori who is a boy so. it's allowed. this also speaks to Shuzo Oshimi’s thoughts on being a girl. the ways mari goes about identifying her self while at the same time struggling with the mere act of Looking at her self is so yuri. i'm going to come back to this after i talk about Identity for a little bit hold on.

what is it that mari yearns for? what is it about gender?

mari's fragmented identity splits into three parts: fumiko, mari, and komori. her attachment to komori, the male identity she takes on stems from her hetero-patriarchal understanding of the world. she envies him for being able to experience sexuality and love girls in ways she feels she can't. but she ultimately abandons this identity too and exists as something separate from all three. or something that combines them all? the story ends with her alive and finally happy with herself. her attachment to komori's identity is less about his masculinity or maleness so to speak, but what she really desires is to love other girls in the specific (romantic, sexual) way he is allowed to in this society. her yearning is lesbian. i read her experience playing with gender not as her struggling with her own gender identity, but instead i felt that her beef was with the social performance of it all. i think she's a girl who doesn't feel connected to the daily practices and rituals that signal femininity. explaining why she sort of.. forgets how to do makeup and dress herself when she exists as the clueless komori inside mari's body. she uses him to liberate herself from these expectations. maybe i'm just full of shit. maybe her gender is just lesbian after all. another essay in the yuri zine talks about how yearning is gay. yearning is queer and yearning is lesbian. that yearning isn't limited to wanting to be with someone, but wanting to be someone. to live life the way they do. which hey. is literally what mari ends up doing in this story. what she yearns for is a reality that cannot exist (or rather, one that she cannot confront/reconcile with yet) she cannot look at herself, so she absents herself in order to allow herself to pursue her own desire. she felt like she couldn't pursue her desire in her current self, in her current standing as a girl in society.

what does it mean to feel like a person? to feel human?

i need to watch that interview everyone talks about "yuri made me human" because i already feel that truth in my core but i don't even know what the hell they're talking about in that interview. from the zine, "is the fantasy of yuri about finding a way to become a person. when you don't feel like one?" yes. but. what does it mean to feel like a person? in mari's case, which person? her First person? the one that died with her grandmother and replaced with a new name and identity by a mother she cannot understand or bond with? her Second person? mari? the person she grows to hate? the one that is forced to perform these ritualistic practices that signal femininity but is never allowed to desire it for herself? her Third person? komori? the depressed pathetic sexually frustrated hikikomori who is too stupid to see how good he has it* that he doesn't have to fend off boys who only objectify her? that he can have a girlfriend and kiss her and hold her hand in public without punishment? the komori that ultimately broke under the heavy weight of the truth that is not her. she is not him. she is no one for a while. yuri is everything and yuri is nothing. in fact, when mari is in that coma or whatever, yori desperately wants her back again, wants her awake, and she begs “don’t disappear” until she wakes up into someone again. someone for yori. but most importantly, someone for herself (the first time i read this, i felt sort of disappointed? that yori and mari didn’t get to live together forever but those feelings didn’t last long... i don’t actually want that for them. in fact i actually really love that they were able to reconcile their feelings for each other and also end on a note where yori goes to school and mari seems to actually be happy and secure with her own self) anyways. she struggles to connect to her fractured identities until through her growth as a character she not only starts feeling like a person but becoming one, probably for the first time.

inside mari is fascinating to look at and unpack from a yuri pov. i loved thinking about how this too was yuri, that she envies komori for his ability to pursue and love women. the way she projected onto him. the way she wanted something nonexistent and intangible. the way she yearned through imagining she existed as something other than herself. the way she shattered when faced with herself. the way she existed not as a participant, nor an observer. the way she loved yori so much she became everyone and no one.

in conclusion please read yuri zine and please also read yaoi zine 1 and 2 they are genuinely so good. bless the minds of everyone who worked on these.. the yaoi yuri theorists i look up to.... there's no real conclusion to this ramble. i hate conclusions. i'm done. good night...

#inside mari #yuri zine #yaoi zine #is this anything??????

[kmartmithril]

What if Cassandra doesn’t want to be a god? Sure, Kristen has faith in her, but what if all she wants is just to be seen and heard and she doesn’t NEED to be worshipped? After she got back to being her self, she took on Kristen’s aspect. I wonder if she feels a lot like a teenager herself and being something more grounded wouldn’t help her get her needs met. Something that could allow her to be around the Bad Kids more and just hang out with people who are still trying to figure themselves out

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #is this anything??????

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

the fact that i am even making this poll really speaks to my exhaustion levels

#is this anything??????

[queenqunari]

girl last supper

#is this anything?????? #like it’s everything to me #but is it anything to anyone else???

[hoeakawasupreme]

F/o drabble

You and your f/o, who you are so deeply in love with, are at a bar or club together. You unintentionally attract suitors anywhere you go and can’t ever seem to make it stop. You wish it would, but it never does. So you turn it into a game. This night at the bar/club is no different.

You now intentionally seduce other people, mostly the ones that come on to you first. You lead them on, lay it on as thick as you plausibly can without getting physical. When they ask you to leave, or for your number, or for any other annoying romantic something, you tell them that you’re sorry but you have other plans.

Your f/o is not too far away, and gets up to meet you when they can tell you’re done. Your f/o is in on your behavior, by the way. At first, they thought it was kind of cruel and unnecessary. But after witnessing your constant barrage of unwanted romantic attention from a variety of people, they warmed up to the idea of some showing off. They trust you with their life, after all. And that trust is reciprocated tenfold from you.

You always meet your f/o halfway and grab their jaw as you lean in for a hearty kiss. Then you leave. You don’t look back. You both just laugh on your way out, arm tightly wrapped around you.

And later in the night, when you’re home fucking each other, you breathe just below their ear, “I’m yours.” A reminder for the both of you as much a repetition of a tenet, “I’m yours, yours, yours.” They kiss you deeply as they continue, then break the kiss with an ardent “I know.”

#is this anything?????? #i had this idea on the way home and knew this had to be written down asap #i have no idea what it is but i had to get it out of my system #tw pseudo toxicity???? #is this humiliating do i have to delete my tumblr account and move to alaska #my writing

[princeshilo]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

#found this beautiful gem in my drafts and couldnt let her go to waste #frog rambles #idk whay this is about. or if its anything. but i think its funny

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

#Crunchyroll #piracy #funimation #money hungry ass streaming service #rambling #I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god #I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭! #get back to pirating kings!!! #anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this #CR is definitely not worth paying for though #CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it’s a yearly one time fee #capitalism #the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway #it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

#buny text #I'm fine i've just been staying up too late playing bg3 the past few nights #and then wanting to wake up before noon so my parents don't say anything rude to me so i end up getting less sleep to facilitate that #and it's catching up to me #i feel like this explanation maybe undermines my previous statement of 'I'm fine' a bit but I'm fine i promise #look at my lop posts boy

[captainjonnitkessler]

Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"

Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.

#thinking about the person i saw saying that if you're at a protest #and other protesters try to stop you from becoming violent you should just kill them bc 'peace police are still police' #even taken as hyperbole that's simply dumb as shit on every conceivable level #it's also pretty blatantly hypocritical coming from people who are usually self-avowed prison/death penalty abolitionists #like i'm sorry but you don't get to be a death penalty abolitionist and also call for the death of your political enemies online #this isn't a major issue or anything i'm just bored and annoyed

[ibtisams]

Spotify wrapped is normally released on a November 30 or December 1 but this year it was released on November 29, the International Day of Solidarity with Palestinian People- a day which it was asked for people to increase their social media posts about Palestine to help call for a permanent ceasefire. Instead it is now being overshadowed by people posting about Spotify wrapped…

#not saying anything but not NOT saying anything #no actually I am saying something!!!!!! #🦢

[not-spiders]

here’s to all the weird little girls growing up into even weirder men

#spider talks a lot #transmasc #trans man #is this anything

[crabussy]

hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and pasta of your choice ok?

#ITS MY FAVOURITE PASTA RECIPE #tastes so so good and delicious and hearty and warm #doesn’t require many ingredients or effort and is so yummy #I have sensory issues and digestive disorders and this recipe brings me so much joy #barely anything to remember!!! rich while still easy on the stomach!!!! #listen to my gibberish boy #you can add any amount of sugar and vinegar and cheese it works regardless #I UPPED THE GARLIC BECAUSE OF FEEDBACK BTW #AND PUT THE CHEESE AT THE END TO AVOID IT STICKING TO THE POT

[sleepy-bebby]

#hamster #memes #meme #cute #funny #cute animals #animals #wholesome #funny memes #hamster meme #hamster memes #ninja #dank #dank meme #dank memes #lol #westerners whining in the tags about his enclosure as if I can do anything about it is hilarious. yaaaaawn dgaf shut up

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

Everyone wants to talk about how Senshi is a tumblr sexyman but...Senshi is actually attractive. Like even aside from the fact that he's pretty good-looking he's a nice, sweet guy and he can cook and loves doing it. He's a perfectly eligible candidate for marriage, which kind of goes against the spirit of a tumblr sexyman.

Chilchuck, however? Chilchuck is a tumblr sexyman. What the fuck do you people see in him

#i don't hate chilchuck or anything i just have no idea what about him is actually attractive #i'm very confused about this #dungeon meshi #gray posts

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate