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anto-pops · 1 year

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Inherent Desires - Sebastian Sallow x Female! Reader

Summary: After a draining week away from home with his fellow Aurors, the last thing Sebastian wants to do is sit through a damn dinner party with all of them in London. Lucky for him, your presence at the event gives him the perfect opportunity to do more entertaining things, like work you into a frenzy at the table.

Alternatively summarized as Sebastian wanting to go home and roll around in the sheets with you, but since he can't he settles for fucking you downstairs in his boss's house

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit sexual content, mild voyeurism

I wrote this under the influence of Covid so don't look at it too closely. Full fic can be found here on Ao3!

Sebastian wanted to go the fuck home.

He hadn’t even wanted to attend his boss’s stupid dinner party. Hauling ass all the way to London didn’t sound remotely appealing to him, especially when he’d only just arrived home from Poland the night before. It was well after midnight when he’d apparated into the living room of your shared home, exhausted and craving your familiar embrace like a man denied water. You’d been asleep though, and before he had the chance to reacquaint himself with your body earlier that morning, he’d received the summons for a celebratory feast in his squad’s honor.

Why they needed to further celebrate taking down a dragon fighting ring, he didn’t know. His work was cut out for him despite the completed assignment; it just meant more paperwork, more meetings, and evidently more formalities that he didn’t care to entertain. You had convinced him to attend– if only because the whole soiree was in his honor. Sebastian’s absence would have been apparent and awkward to address later down the line.

You’d told him he could grouse all he wanted, and Merlin— was he succeeding. His arms were crossed loosely across his chest while he sat back in his seat, eagerly awaiting the end of the night with his lips pursed and his brows furrowed. Sebastian’s expression might have come across as focused and domineering to everyone else, but to you it just looked downright irate. His boss had to be getting to him after weeks of working together so closely.

How did the saying go again? Familiarity breeds contempt, or something like that. It seemed to fit the situation to a ‘T’.

No rational thinking could change the fact that Sebastian didn’t want to be here. Especially with you seated beside him looking ten different kinds of seductive.

You were positively ravishing. Donned in the silky, forest green dress that Sebastian had gifted you this morning, the material clung to your feminine frame like a glove and left little to the imagination. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands all over you– to finally satiate the undeniable urge to sheathe himself in your tight core once again. The most he’d been able to do was help you get dressed earlier, and the seductive drag of his fingers up your spine as he zipped you up had been enough to make his intentions clear to you.

There was a time and a place, however, and you’d told him as much with a sultry look before heading outside to the carriage. Since then, he was having a hard time focusing on anything else.

From his seat next to you, he could feel the heat radiating off of your body, and the low hum of your ancient magic charged the air and made his hair stand on end. Sebastian had to dig his nails into the upholstery of his seat to refrain from touching you openly. The smell of your perfume was like an aphrodisiac after seven long, grating days spent away from it. Nevermind the flush on your cheeks from all the wine you’d consumed; it made you look all the more alluring, and the half-chub he’d been sporting was quickly becoming something bigger and more bothersome.

Sebastian considered his next move carefully, glancing around the comically large dinner table fit for a villain before he turned his attention back to you. Your arm was outstretched to accept another generous serving of red wine, your lips curling into a practiced smile as you murmured a low, “Thank you.”

Marlowe Selwyn, the host of the evening, chose that moment to charm away everyone’s dirty plates and replace the picked apart main course with an extravagant looking cake in the center of the table. Your eyes were wider than saucers as you took in the impressive sight, and Sebastian smiled despite his sour mood. Sometimes suffering through these things was worth it to see you so easily pleased. He knew you had a wicked sweet tooth.

He did too, if he was being honest, but the sudden realization that he would rather have you for dessert hit him like a steaming train, and his cock twitched in his trousers enthusiastically.

“Once again, a grand toast to Sallow’s squad for a job well done in Poland,” Marlowe announced, his bald head glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. The wine had to be warming him up thoroughly. “I’ve always had high expectations for you all and you never fail to impress. Here’s to many more successes in the near future, cheers.”

You lifted your glass in solidarity, watching as all the Auror’s around the table did the same as they hooted and hollered their agreements, when you suddenly felt a broad hand plant itself on your thigh.

When you glanced up, Sebastian was staring at you with a blank expression, but there was no way you missed the mischievous glint in his eyes. You shot him a sideways look of your own, biting your tongue to stifle a quip, but the brunet only huffed out an airy laugh under his breath. You brought your wine glass back to your lips to take a generous sip and school the building tension in your shoulders. It was pointless, however, seeing as Sebastian started to drag his fingers up your leg to gather the material of your dress into a balled heap.

You knew exactly what he was trying to do, and the thought made you flush deeper and shudder nervously. While your lower half was concealed by the table, there would be no hiding your reactions to Sebastian’s touch if he continued. Once he’d haphazardly pushed the majority of your dress up your legs to expose his target, you visibly tensed and dropped one of your own hands to grip his, anxiously looking around the room at the slew of tipsy Ministry officials who were none the wiser to Sebastian’s horny antics at the far end of the table.

Sebastian licked his lips in a bid to hide his cheshire-like smile while he watched you, noting your sharp intake of breath when he cautiously ventured closer to your nether region. Your back seemed to go rigid at the sudden attention, and he felt your nails dig into the skin at his wrist when he finally pressed his middle finger against your thin undergarments, sparing a quick glance down the row of seats to ensure he hadn’t been discovered. Marlowe was still talking, and his co-workers were preoccupied with watching him cut the massive cake, which meant he was in the clear for the time being.

Your wine glass shook in your hand when Sebastian trailed his finger down to seek out the tiny bundle of nerves at your center, causing you to whip your head to the side to stare at him unblinkingly. Your voice was low when you hissed out, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He shot back easily with a knowing smirk.

“It looks like you’re being incredibly careless. Knock it off, this isn’t the time–” you were cut off by your own gasp when he finally planted the tip of his finger against your aching core, rubbing firm, teasing circles around your clit through the cotton of your panties. You felt your face heat up as you shifted your hips back in an attempt to pull away from the abrupt pleasure, but Sebastian followed you easily. There was virtually nowhere for you to go to escape his brazen ministrations.

“What about you, Mrs. Sallow?” You heard Marlowe ask from the other side of the table, and you jumped slightly in your seat from having been quickly roped back into the moment at hand. “Have you given any further thought to my offer?”

Sebastian stilled his movements– just barely– so that he could glare fixedly at his boss. You had no idea what the man was even referring to, but clearly your husband did. Swallowing thickly, you released Sebastian’s wrist to gingerly set your wine glass down on the table, then tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Sorry… what offer?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten! I’m referring to the Auror position– for you to join our ranks in the Ministry. Your abilities are squandered, my dear. Think of all the good work we could accomplish with the help of your ancient magic.”

Oh, right. That offer.

It wasn’t the first time Marlowe had pitched the Auror title to you, and something told you it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Your answer had never changed though; becoming an Auror was something you had decided against a long time ago, preferring to maintain your freedom to travel where you wanted, when you wanted. Besides, your exploration of ancient magic sites was far from complete, and with so much left to discover and unearth, you found yourself shaking your head through the lustful fog that clouded your mind.

It was far too difficult to keep your voice steady when Sebastian started pressing down on your clit again. Your voice was tight as you squeezed your knees together under the table, but he didn’t let that stop him. “I apologize, Mr. Selwyn, but I’m afraid my answer is still the same.”

Marlowe’s beady eyes narrowed scrupulously, and his lips pursed with obvious disappointment, but he gave you a firm nod all the same. “I see. Well… should you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

You were certain he didn’t mean for the statement to come out so suggestive, but you simply gave him a curt nod before turning your attention to your lap. The veins in Sebastian’s hands were swollen and apparent, his irritation with his boss palpable, but he rewarded your indifferent reply with a quick swipe up your dampening folds, and you had to bite your lip to refrain from moaning in earnest. This was a game you were quickly losing, and the growing fire in your gut was as intoxicating as it was sobering.

You were petrified of being discovered.

“Are you alright, dear? You look rather ill,” another one of Sebastian’s squad members asked you from across the table. You were positive you’d met the man before, but his name escaped your memory completely. In fact, your mind was utterly blank of any prudent information– save for the acute placement of Sebastian’s long, cunning fingers.

Dozens of heads swiveled in your direction to scrutinize your seemingly ‘ill’ appearance, and you hastily shoved Sebastian’s hand away from between your legs and tugged your dress down. “Yes, I’m fine. I suppose the wine is starting to get to me– please excuse me for a moment.”

You didn’t wait to gauge your husband’s reaction. Instead you swiftly stood from your seat, offering a polite smile to Marlowe and the rest of the attendees before you strode out of the dining room to head for the downstairs restroom. The sound of your heels clicking against the marble stairs filled the foyer– betraying your hurried pace and giving away just how desperate you were for a modicum of privacy. You shouldered the door open and closed it quickly, latching the lock into place before you turned to stare at your reflection.

Shit.

As if wine could make you look so frazzled. You were scarlett from head to toe, and your dress was mildly wrinkled in the areas Sebastian had bunched up and shoved out of the way to play with you. A nagging voice in the back of your mind threatened to brutalize him for nearly humiliating you in front of all his co-workers, but a louder, much needier voice was suddenly demanding that you leave with him to go home and make him finish what he’d started.

Up until now, you’d been fairly surprised with Sebastian’s restraint. You knew he was as eager as you were to fool around after such an abrupt and grating business trip, but he’d seemingly been on his best behavior all evening. You should have known his patience would run out before you even left London. He was way too predictable.

The distinct sound of a lock being charmed open reached your ears, and you stepped further into the dimly lit bathroom to prematurely glare at who you already knew had come searching for you. Sebastian poked his head through the entryway first, grinning diabolically when he caught sight of your unkempt appearance before stepping through the threshold and shutting the door– all without taking his dark eyes off of you.

“You have some gall, you know that?” You immediately started in on him, jabbing an accusatory finger in his direction while you raked your other hand through your hair. “Have you gone completely mad? Are you trying to embarrass us both?”

Sebastian adjusted the flared collar of his Auror coat with a smug expression on his face, shrugging nonchalantly as he leaned against the closed door. “I don’t think you realize how good you look tonight.”

“That’s hardly an excuse–”

“Yes it is. You’re distracting me. As soon as I got home last night, all I wanted was to be inside of you– frankly it’s unacceptable that I haven’t been yet. Then you go and wear something like this and expect me to eat Selwyn’s shitty dessert? I’d much rather have you.”

“I– but– you gave me this dress,” you stammered out indignantly, which only served to make Sebastian chuckle.

“I did, and you look radiant, make no mistake. I suppose it’s my own fault for insisting you wear it tonight.” He stepped away from the door, the predatory glint in his eyes deepening as he moved to plant himself directly behind you facing the mirror. “I thought I’d be able to hold off until later, but I don’t see that happening anymore.”

You watched through the reflection as Sebastion wound his strong arms around your midsection, tugging you flush against his chest so he could run his hands up your front. The closer he got to your breasts, the shallower your breathing became, and you reached behind yourself to place your palms against the brunet’s toned legs in an attempt to ground yourself. “S-Sebastian, not here. Merlin– what if Marlowe comes looking and walks in?”

He lowered his head to nuzzle his lips against your thunderous pulse, pressing wet, chaste kisses along the slender column of your neck. Once he found one of your pert nipples through the silky material draped over you and pinched lightly, your restraint started to slip away.

Then again, had it really been there in the first place? Your resolve where Sebastian was concerned was always about as strong as wet tissue paper. He knew exactly what buttons to press to get what he wanted from you, and you rarely had any complaints to voice after the fact– save for when he was acting like a complete prat in the process.

“If he does, then he’ll be the luckiest bastard alive for all of two seconds before I kill him.”

“Sebastian!”

“I’m joking, darling. I do hate the way Selwyn speaks to you, though. He’s too familiar with you for my liking.” He looked up at your flustered self staring wide-eyed at him in the mirror, dropping one of his hands to the space between your legs while the other trailed higher to curl around your throat, and your stomach flipped over on itself from the possessive hold he had on you. Sebastian’s hand tightened a fraction to press your head against his shoulder, leaving you arched deliciously across the front of his torso– and he swore up and down he wouldn’t be able to hold back, even if he wanted to. “Let me fuck you here. I’ll be so good to you, I promise. To hell with the party, we can leave right after.”

Your pulse fluttered beneath Sebastian’s broad hand as you sucked in a shaky breath, watching with rapt interest as his wandering fingers began tugging up the green fabric of your dress once again. The urge to stop him was nowhere to be found despite the circumstances, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you willed your brain to function rationally. “By that logic we could just leave now and spare ourselves the embarrassment of being caught. The carriage is literally waiting outside.”

Sebastian tugged your head back a smidge further to give himself easier access to lave his hot tongue along the shell of your ear, drawing a shiver from you that he felt reverberate through your prone form. “That line of thinking is flawed– I would still have to wait in that case, and if I have to wait any longer I’ll lose my fucking mind.”

Shifting your feet to better support yourself, the tiny movement allowed your backside to rub perfectly against Sebastian’s painfully hard cock. You hadn’t doubted him in the slightest when he said he was impatient, but feeling his arousal pressed against your ass made his predicament all the more apparent, and you couldn’t help the slight smile that broke out across your face when his strained breathing fanned across your temple.

“Gods, do you want me to beg? Because I will, I’ll get on my knees for you here and now. Please darling– please let me– I need you so badly, you have no clue.”

The entire time he was talking, his hips were rocking against you– shamelessly deriving his own pleasure from the friction the movement provided. The entire display really had no business being so attractive, especially considering you were literally locked in Marlowe Selwyn’s downstairs bathroom. Much as you’d expected, however, Sebastian was working you into a tizzy with sorely little effort, and you were as keen to feel him as he was to feel you.

Sebastian hoisted your dress up your legs slowly, taking his time and observing your every reaction in the mirror with an intensity that made your head spin. “You’re certifiably insane, but fine,” you relented, dragging one of your hands in front of you to gingerly grasp Sebastian’s forearm. “We have to be quick though, I really don’t want anyone to come looking.”

With your dress hiked up mostly out of the way, Sebastian had enough leeway to run his palms up your bare stomach, gently scratching his nails along the soft, smooth skin as he went. “The absolute last thing I want to do is rush through this… you know I like to take my time.”

“Then save the rest of your horny fantasies for after we get home. Unless you secretly want someone to walk in on us. Are you that eager for your boss to see your cock?”

You felt Sebastian’s deft hand scale down towards your aching center once more– only this time he slipped the appendage under the thin cotton of your underwear, and his fingers were instantly met with your pooling slick. He practically guffawed at your taunt and flashed you a cunning smirk through the mirror, “Now who’s certifiably insane?”

“Still you. This was your idea, remember?”

He chuckled darkly against your ear as he finally slid one of his slender digits through your sopping wet folds, and the shaky breath you let out was like music to his ears. Your lips parted around a moan as he began working you open on his finger, your grip on his arm tightening just barely to keep yourself upright as you practically melted against his chest. Sebastian set an even rhythm, focusing intently on getting as deep within you as he could given the precarious angle, but he was utterly adoring watching you fall apart in the reflection of the mirror. There was no chance he would risk moving you around and lose his opportunity to witness your pleasure so closely.

Trailing hot kisses down your neck and across your exposed shoulder, Sebastian curled his finger inside your pulsing heat, pressing and twisting expertly inside of your familiar core to prepare you for what you both desperately wanted. Your airy whimpers bounced off the marble walls of the bathroom, imbuing Sebastian with a vigor that had his cock twitching avidly against your ass.

“I’ll make you feel so good, darling,” Sebastian murmured directly in your ear, subtly withdrawing his finger before plunging back in with a second. A keening whine slipped from your throat as you wriggled your hips back onto his fingers, the wet sounds reaching your ears and making you flush impossibly further. “I’ve wanted this since I left last week– you’re so fucking perfect, Merlin, the things you do to me…”

Sebastian’s praises had you sighing loudly, your resolve a thing of the past as you took in the sinful scene playing out in the mirror. His strong arm draped across your front to hold your throat effectively caged you to him, and his imposing stature behind you dwarfed you in comparison. At this point in your adult lives, he towered over you, and some inherent, primal part of you loved that fact.

Everything transpiring was almost enough to lull the two of you into a slower, more sensual pace, until the distinct sound of heavy footsteps from down the hall had you both tensing in place. You let go of Sebastian’s arm to cover your mouth, not trusting yourself to remain quiet without some help– especially because your husband didn’t stop finger fucking you. The conniving bastard flashed you a grin that said it all; he didn’t give a single shit if anyone heard you.

Maybe he really was an exhibitionist.

The footsteps got closer, closer, until they bypassed the bathroom entirely and continued further down the hall to enter a different room. You exhaled a breath that you didn’t know you’d been holding and let your hand slide away from your mouth, fixing Sebastian with a sharp look despite your disheveled appearance.

“Please Sebastian, hurry up,” you managed to squeak out through your tight throat. The pressure building in your gut was borderline torturous, and a wanton moan tumbled from your wine stained lips when he scissored his fingers right before he curled them again, fuck–

“Are you that worried about being caught?” He mused, his mouth watering hungrily when you turned your head to bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“Yes,” you whispered against his heated skin. “J-Just– come on–”

Sebastian raised his shoulder to jostle you out of your hiding spot, swiftly capturing your lips in a desperate kiss that made your knees tremble and left your mind blank. His tongue delved deep in your mouth, tangling with your own as he swallowed every tiny mewl his fingers pulled from you. As much as he loved the prospect of teasing you, he was impatient too. Not as a result of being discovered— but because it had already been an entire week since he’d been inside of you— and the phantom feeling had haunted his every waking moment in Poland.

Licking his lips, his dark eyes hot with pure lust, Sebastian pulled his fingers from your throbbing cunt and carefully walked you forward so your hip bones were pressed against the bathroom counter. You felt his hands trail up your waist to tug down your undergarments, letting them fall around your ankles haphazardly. It seemed to pain him to step away, but he did it anyway to undo his belt and release his cock from the confines of his trousers and briefs altogether. It sprung free and he moved directly behind you once more, the lush feeling of his girthy member settling between your cheeks enough to make you twitch your hips back in a silent invitation.

Sebastian’s broad hands found your hips again, hastily moving your dress out of the way so he could grip you with a strength that had your mouth drying out instantly. “Do you think you can keep quiet or should I cast a silencing charm just in case?”

“Just shut up and fuck me already,” you growled over your shoulder at him. His throaty laugh was his only reply before you felt his weight settle over your back, his lips pressing soothingly against your shoulder as he slowly and carefully spread you open with his thick cock.

“F-Fuck, darling– you’re so warm–” he grit through his clenched teeth, barely restraining himself as he bottomed out and slid his sweaty palms up your body to feel along the sensual curve of your waist. Having the good grace to give you a second to adjust, Sebastian’s labored breathing filled the room, and your head fell forward between your shoulders at the overwhelming fullness you felt. “Is it okay?”

“Gods, yes–” you gasped out as he ground into you slightly. “Were you always this big?”

That was all he needed to hear for his patience to evaporate into thin air.

Sebastian’s hold on you tightened as he abruptly set to filling you in short, quick thrusts, using your hips as leverage to pull you back onto his cock. His eyes damn near crossed at the feeling— instilling you with the willpower to meet him halfway— and you started rocking back into him with stuttering, panting breaths as your eyes fluttered shut. For a few heated moments, all that could be heard were both of your throaty moans echoing off the bathroom walls, coupled with your needy pleas for “More, Sebastian, more,” which in turn had your lover growling as he started fucking you harder and deeper.

The sound of skin slapping against skin was fucking intoxicating. You threw your head back with your eyes clenched shut, biting your lip to stifle a groan, and Sebastian took full advantage of your closer proximity to grab a fistful of your hair and yank you back towards him. His other hand stayed planted firmly on your hip, holding you steady as he railed into you in search of that magic spot that he knew would reduce you to a boneless heap. All you could do was grip the rim of the sink and pray to whatever higher power existed that you would make it through the night without being branded a harlot by your husband’s co-workers.

Leaning down to bite at the side of your neck, you heard and felt Sebastian’s raspy command against your sweat-slick skin, “Open your eyes and watch me fuck you– watch how good you look taking my cock– come on sweetheart, open those pretty eyes for me, please?”

How the hell were you supposed to say no to that?

You cracked open your bleary eyes to find Sebastian’s carnal expression fixed solely on you over your shoulder. The red flush that covered you from head to toe was offset by the dark green coloring of your dress, and your hair was beyond messy gathered in Sebastian’s unrelenting vice grip. In turn, he looked positively animalistic; still decked out in his Auror uniform, his appearance was incredibly striking, and the fire that burned behind his eyes was as commanding as it was reverent. He broke eye contact briefly to look down between you both– enamored with the way you seemed to suck his cock in deeper with every hurried thrust– and when he glanced back at your half-hooded eyes taking in the sight of him, he felt a pang of arousal shoot straight to his core.

“Merlin, you’re gorgeous. You look so pretty with my cock in you, darling,” Sebastian all but purred at your reflection, and the broken moan his comment elicited from you left him grinning like a madman. Your thighs shook with the intensity of your mounting pleasure, and he made a show of releasing your hip to drag his hand sensually down the front of your dress again. “You love it, don’t you? Being filled up by me with dozens of people around? You’re doing so good, I missed this– I missed you.”

The pointed thrust Sebastian bestowed on you did you both a slew of favors. Your eyes went wide and rolled closed as the head of his cock brushed past that hypersensitive spot deep within you, and your mouth fell open as a loud, unconcealed cry snaked its way up your throat. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you heard as Sebastian moaned at the way you squeezed around him, ramming his hips against you faster in a bid to fuck your orgasm out of you in rough, claiming thrusts.

Sebastian’s name fell from your lips again, muffled by your hand, and your legs quaked under you as you were rendered limp against the countertop. Your nails dug into the sides of your cheeks as you frantically looked towards the door– the knowledge that any one of the people here could walk in and find you setting your teeth on edge in ways you’d never anticipated. A deep rooted groan slipped through your fingers as you chanced a look over your shoulder at your husband with desperate eyes.

At this point, Sebastian knew your tells almost better than he knew his own. He released your hair from his fist to plaster himself to you, pounding his cock into your wet heat as he whispered, “Are you close, darling? Want to come?”

Nodding brainlessly, you gasped into your hand before you ripped it away from your face and slapped it against the counter, your nails scrambling to find purchase atop the smooth surface. You were getting close– so close– but you didn’t trust yourself not to wail out for more, so you just trembled beneath Sebastian and hoped that he could feel your looming finish.

His strong fingers flexed and dug into your hip as his other hand crept lower under your bent torso, seeking out your soaked clit expertly, and as soon as he found it, there was little time for you to brace yourself for the tight circles he brutally bestowed upon you.

“F-Fuck, fuck,” you cried out, eternally grateful to be half-laying on the countertop, because there was no fucking way your legs could support you through the blissful haze that clouded your mind. “Sebastian, please–”

It was too much. Your breath caught in your throat as you shivered, whining against the cool marble finish beneath you as Sebastian rammed into you, timing his thrusts with his fingers at your throbbing center. The filthy, wet sounds emanating from between the two of you made his head go completely empty, and he sank his teeth into your shoulder to stifle his own lustful groans as his hand between your legs picked up its pace.

“Come for me, love– come on my cock, please, I need you to,” Sebastian fucking whimpered against the spit-slick imprint of his teeth, and the tenor to his voice told you he was right there on the cusp with you.

The pressure from his fingers and his rough pace was more than enough to send you spiraling, and when you finally came, it took everything in you not to scream Sebastian’s name at the top of your lungs. You rode out the pulses of ecstasy with your tongue clamped between your teeth to fight the noises that threatened to give you both away, but the brunet had no such qualms and pumped into your tightening walls once, twice, then came with a guttural moan that echoed off the walls of the bathroom.

Sebastian muttered your name softly as he sucked in shaky breaths after a moment, rocking his hips into you until he’d emptied himself completely and you were nothing more than a frail, twitching heap under him. Your overstimulated walls seemingly clamped around him even more when he leaned forward to pepper featherlight kisses against your temple, wringing mind-bending waves of pure rapture from him until it started to hurt from how sensitive he was.

Sliding out of you with a contented sigh, Sebastian dotingly ran his hands down your sides to stir you from your post-coital stupor. You lifted your head to blearily stare at him through the mirror, doing your best to commit his fucked-out appearance to memory– and ironically, he seemed to be doing the same.

“What do you think?” He asked you after a few heated seconds. “Do you think anyone heard?”

He may as well have doused you with a bucket of ice water. You didn’t even want to consider the possibility.

Miraculously, you found the strength to push yourself off the counter with quivering arms, grateful that Sebastian was there to steady you on your near boneless legs. “I’d rather not stay and find out, to be honest,” you murmured under your breath, and he chuckled as he brought his hands up to rake through his curly, mused hair.

“Fine by me,” he acquiesced quickly. “What do you say we bail and continue this at home? Preferably horizontally.”

This man and his one-track mind… you had to fight your smile with everything in you. “Don’t you think you should say something to Marlowe first?”

Sebastian scoffed as he stuffed his softening cock back in his trousers, then bent down to gently tug your underwear up your shaky legs. “Say what? ‘Thanks for holding us hostage for another day after practically living together for a week’ or ‘Sorry for fucking my wife in your downstairs bathroom, have a great night’? Doesn’t sound very appealing to me.”

“Fair enough… Irish goodbye then?”

Sebastian’s grin split his face as he cocked his head to the side, affectionately working to fix up your hair. He let his fingers trail smoothly along your jaw until they were under your chin, tilting your head up towards him so he could kiss you with zeal that left you excited to return home. The way his lips molded to yours was tantamount to perfection, and you knew then and there that you would agree to anything he asked of you. You’d missed him far too much to deny him a damn thing.

“Irish goodbye,” he agreed coyly.

You let Sebastian clean you up a bit more before he led you out of the bathroom and through the foyer, ignoring the direction of the dining room entirely in favor of the front door. Quieter than mice, the two of you escaped into the chilly night, laughing at the sheer absurdity of your antics the entire ride home. Sebastian’s wandering hands distracted you brilliantly for the bulk of the journey, and by the time you made it home, your earlier concerns had dissipated fully from your mind.

You never did find out if Mr. Selwyn or his party-goers were privy to your escapades after that, and quite truthfully, you didn’t think you ever wanted to find out.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x female! reader #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian sallow smut #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow oneshot #my writing #you're married to Sebastian in this cause fuck it we ball #if you see any inconsistencies in this no you don't okay I had the brain power of a walnut while writing this

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lakesbian · 9 months

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i think cherie has a weird psychological fixation on alec. btw. for reasons such as

cheries Deal is about being powerful and scary and manipulative so she can be the one who hurts others instead of the one who gets hurt due to shes fundamentally alienated from connection w/ herself and others and has no other way to cope with existing without feeling like dirt

also her powers are abt being stuck in this miserable cramped home w a bunch of other miserable violent people and having to learn how to emotionally read everyone so she can cater to the abuser to keep herself safe + understand how to manipulate the other victims (to make life easier for herself, to hurt them to satiate her abuser & feel like she's regained some control, etc)

alec was one of the siblings slightly closer 2 her in age + one of the siblings she tormented, someone she knew exceedingly well as a result of her power. theres a connection there. its a bad connection but theres a connection. forced him to do horrible shit alongside heartbreaker + WoG implies she contributed 2 the sexual abuse by fostering the hypersexual behavior. basically i bet she thinks she has him read for filth

he was a sad little sopping wet crybaby 4 most of the time she knew him absolutely the type that would make younger cherie be like "tch...hes not cut out for anything." and tell him to stop being a whiny baby (<- she thinks this counts as helpful life advice). i think she would tell him this even if he wasn't actually crying. like he would go ":(" in his head and she would be like Stop being a whiny baby. just unprompted. also on the one occasion she tried to cheer him up she did so by letting him watch liveleak videos of people exploding on her phone.

anyway my point is. sad sopping wet crybaby jean-paul grows up, toughens up, runs away successfully (first heartbroken to do so), and THEN becomes a threat of stabilizing his own power 2 the point where he could eventually become more successful/well-known than her while the cult back home is slowly dwindling in power. what if the sopping wet crybaby younger sibling you tortured as a coping mechanism was at risk of getting cooler than you would that be fucked up or what.

furthermore i think cherie is like. conscious about the fact that she sucks and the heartbroken home sucks and thinks she's being Honest about it + brave in the face of the inherent misery that the world wreaks upon her for sucking. and she also thinks that alec is, like, not just lying and obscuring the fact that he sucks from the undersiders, but successfully being treated like he Doesn't suck as a result. which pisses her off and is, aside from thinking it's funny when he's miserable, why she tries to ~reveal the truth~ about him 2 the undersiders over the phone. this is funny because alec also thinks he's being honest about the fact that he sucks and in fact considers it one of his strong points.

but anyway yeah i think shes fixated with being able to like. drag him back down to what she perceives as their shared level + reestablish control over him bc him being free and successful while genuinely improving himself as a person puts fundamental cracks in her worldview.

all of which is to say in the beautiful hypothetical world where she gets drudged up from the ocean and riley and amy awkwardly put her back together she finds out alec died doing smth good 4 aisha and she doesn't fucking like it. because he's beyond her reach in two ways forever now. first of all he's dead. second of all he died doing something uncomplicatedly caring and self-sacrificing for a friend which means the undersiders permanently remember him as a fucked up kid they knew back when they were all fucked up kids who ultimately Tried and went out being the best person he could be. which means she can't drag him back down to her level and reassert her worldview by making him miserable Or by changing ppls opinions of him. even insinuates that what She thought about him might have been wrong. and aisha laborn, the person he died for, who is now taking care of all of the heartbroken, who still remembers alec deeply fondly, is naturally where her Weird Psychological Fixation transfers next. also worth noting that THE FUCKING WORLD ENDED while she was down there and the s9 is Over so cherie is just. utterly irrelevant everybody forgor about her. she doesn't even get to feed off ppls hatred, no "negative attention is still attention" for her, she just gets drudged up and is expected 2 move on with her life. which is to say she immediately clings onto the one remnant of the world she knew, the one place where she can still claw for relevancy w/ ppl who would know her, and starts emailing aisha "can't make a banaisha split without a cherie on top" 200 times in a single evening. and aisha doesnt care at all cherie is going fucking nuts over this whole thing and aisha is just over there mentally writing this weeks grocery list in her head

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look #parahumans #myv ision.#edited for timeline correctness due to peer review

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 2 years

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As a therapist, an Autistic TM, and the trans child of a trans drag king, I spend a lot of time thinking about the concept of performativity, and frankly I think it gets a bad reputation despite its capacity as a subversive technique and tactic.

When we hear the word performativity, most of us think of the concept of being superficially engaged, of skin-deep participation, of wearing the aesthetic without being able to back it up by walking the walk. It has a quality of being inherently lesser and incomplete. "Performative allyship" is one of the more damning things one can be accused of in radical circles because it means you're all talk, no substance.

The thing is, performance has been such an integral part of so many subversive communities since their inception. Performance has been a crucial form of self-expression for those same communities for just as long. It has historically held layer upon layer of meaning, to the point that calling it superficial would be akin to calling yourself unobservant. At a certain point, using performance and performativity to define superficiality is deeply irresponsible and erasive of our own cultural contexts when the word superficial is *right there*.

Everything about me is performed. From my personality, to my social graces, to my gender presentation, to my political praxis, to my professional therapeutic presence, to my embodiedness, to my version of learned empathy, to my sexual practices and desires, to my morality. Without that performance, those things don't materially exist, and I intentionally and precisely craft each performance for very specific outcomes and effects. A good deal of that is probably the autism, but I have significant doubts that every single one of these elements of selfness are completely beyond the intentional creation of everyone, autistic or allistic.

Performance is intentional, chosen action. It is a meaningful act of self-creation. Any performance, embodied long enough, becomes selfhood. The belittlement of performativity, as far as I can tell, is a belittlement of one of the most transcendental and radical acts of self-narration, change-creation, and meaning-making we as human beings have access to.

And I imagine that the immediate response will be "but there are people who are only *pretending* to embody the spirit of the performance and that's who we're calling out when we call out performativity!"

To which I say: Let's say I believe you have a 100% success rate in identifying who's a true believer in the awkward midst of change-making and who's a wolf in sheep's clothing never intending to make good. Why does the performance, the tool of change making, the cultural heritage that serves us, have to become the origin point of confrontation? Why can't we do the work of trying to call people in without degrading the tools of disidentification and meaning-making? We do a disservice to everyone, including ourselves, when we suggest that intentional performance is somehow lesser than spontaneous action. It removes our own ability to conscientiously do the right thing while still learning what that specifically means in a given context, and as human beings there will always be something we are still learning about. It compels us to question our own authenticity and ability when imposter syndrome rears its head because imposter syndrome relies on the idea of intentional performance of role as distinct from innate knowledge of the same role. It contributes to sanism/ableism around low/no empathy comrades who intentionally choose to perform to high standards of morality and equitable praxis because somehow their choice to do so means less since they aren't also emotionally self-flagellating when they make a mis-step. It contributes to transphobia by forcing us to argue over whether or not gender is a performance and whether or not that means trans people's existence is valid when we could just accept that gender includes performativity for some, both cis and trans.

There are so many upsides to embracing notions of performance. I find myself wondering why doing so has remained so contentious up to this point. Especially when so much of the scholarship around marginality DOES embrace performativity. The contention seems to remain in the public sphere, and I'm curious where that comes from. Most importantly, I'm curious why anyone would want to cut themselves off from the primary form of self-creation. It feels very much like the sort of thing that got snuck in early on as a self-sabotaging element against the possibility of revolutionary meaning-making.

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absolutely-not-my-main-blog · 11 months

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Aye I actually got to watch the episode tonight

Random 16x07 Notes I took while watching before scrolling my dash:

-Mac playing pool just like he plays hockey and bowls I see <3 something something putting too much power/pressure on things/being too forceful when you gotta guide the hockey puck like a little bowl of cream, or throw the bowling ball with gentle precision and finesse... something something previous years him putting too much pressure/force on Dennis but now...

-On a less conspiracy take note, I rewatched Mac’s Big Break recently and I find it fun how Charlie is just like better and knows more about sports and stuff like that and tells Mac what he has to do to play better. Also plays into this season’s theme of Charlie recurringly being the straight man, able to point out and notice things others don’t, but still being a bit of a helpless observer for the most part.

-Great Sharp title cut today, I should make a list of all the best ones/ones with best timing, I know one of the most iconic will always be Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire.

-The cackles and Charlie trying to mirror them <3 love that

-The horror sound effects when the McPoyles turn around and in the next few scenes are on point.

-Following that “Too many ideas, just stick with one” theme again just like in Celebrity Booze... interesting, very interesting. And what’s the main uniting idea that they want to stick it out with huh 👀 (or is it about the blend of ideas, the chili the cheese the fries.)

-Mac touches Den’s arm so much in this ep, they’re both very touchy, it’s nice to see them comfortable with that again.

-First time I’ve been able to watch the rip with commercials, Danny Devito Jersey Mike’s jump scare, how can I connect this to sunny he’s hiding behind the painting with the eyes cut out just like Dennis was in s15 and—*Jersey Mike himself drags me away*

-Dennis saying “it’s too sexually charged” while side eyeing Mac right next to him in frame like that, I don’t even need to comment

-Let’s go, Frank, slow and steady wins the race... slow like the structure, like 16 years wait.

-Artemis saying “hoor” like Frank does, okay, work it.

-Really interesting to me Charlie gets a strike without even needing to focus, something I wanted to say there but I don’t remember. We saw everyone else with their initial strategy and then psychologically affected to fail though and I wish we got to see Dennis in that context as well?

-Mac’s finesse ramble 🤝 Anya in Buffy “I have finesse coming out of my bottom!”

-“Just play the game and we’re gonna win, don’t spin, don’t do it.” This line I like because it feels very much in line with I’ve always been Dennis and you’re you you’ve always been you, and big mo again and just play the game and we’re gonna win, don’t spin, don’t do it, just be yourself, just be, just play.

-I can’t believe they cut off my man on his scream, the injustice! Anyway, gonna need more angst and pain from him, stat.

-Lick

-omg the McPoyle bowling scene was so much better than I expected, that was so funny. Also, Liam wants Dennis so bad.

-They should have trash twin telepathy stuff in this show more, let’s goo, they’re in each other’s heads, they’ve never been apart almost their whole life, we need Dee to figure out how to mess with Dennis’ head next.

-The cgi pin faces will haunt me, they also crashed my computer multiple times like the ep simply would not play beyond that scene.

———

Bonus: DTAMHD trailer thoughts

-Dennis having a new car when the old one is so inherently tied to his identity/the past, iCarly interesting.jpeg, trying to reconcile the new with the old and him not having control of it, a theme of control this season, who is in control? Charlie or Frank in the world of business? Dennis as Johnny? Aaron or Bryan... is it all an act? Is Mac...?

-Putting things under pressure so they become diamonds subplot to putting Dennis under pressure, I see you, I see you.

#iasip #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #text #sunny sweet 16 #s16 spoilers #16x07 #iasip spoilers #the gang goes bowling #anmmbposts

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amateurletariat · 8 months

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I recently brought up P2025 to the in-laws, and was met basically with:

"I will rephrase my question and pose it again: "What has actually happened? Not whether some groups disagree with you, or whether they propose legislation you disapprove of, or whether they disseminate views contrary to yours." Surely that is the mark of a free society rather than a tyranny. But no tangible changes have arisen. When 38 states ratify a Constitutional amendment outlawing all but 2 gender identities, let me know. Until then, the expression "a tempest in a teapot" comes to mind."

It frustrated the hell out of me and I definitely got short with them for what part of the rest of the exchange I could handle.

Well today I was finally able to come up with what felt like a decent response, and I'm throwing the rough draft up here.

I was asked "What has actually happened?"

I would like to address that here.

Anti-trans legislation that has passed so far is up to a count of 83. https://translegislation.com/bills/2023/passed

Things that have happened:

Book bans. If we're not allowed to learn about a topic how can we fight for or against it? Intentionally foisting ignorance of the existence of a population is one of the first steps of genocide.

Bills that force trans people to use public bathrooms that match their assigned gender at birth. This would force someone post transition into the wrong bathroom. Think a trans male that looks like the Rock being forced into the women's room.

Drag bans. Claiming drag, or any queer person simply existing, as being inherently sexual is one of many ways to erase us from the public eye. It is also used in the excuse of 'save the children' to prevent any so‐called perversion from being present.

'Don't Say Gay' in FL. Teachers are forbidden from "discussing or instructing" on any kind of sexual orientation or gender identity in the classroom, specifically K-3. Talking about hetero-normativity is not banned, however. This has opened the door to bans on discussion in older groups, as well.

Bills claiming to be about parental rights. These bills claim that school admins must automatilly report if a student expresses interest or asks to be called a different name or gender, forcibly outing them to parents in ways that may be unsafe. If a student doesn't feel comfortable coming out to their parents, that is a very likely indicator that it would be dangerous to do so.

Sports bans. Denying access to people that already have to go through HRT, and an incredible amount of testing to ensure a level playing field, is another way to prevent us from engaging in public life.

Outright bans on gender affirming care for anyone under 18. We have a plethora of evidence that shows preventing trans people, including trans youth, from accessing gender affirming care increases risks for things like self harm and suicide.

~~~

Trans people have a propensity for mental health issues, but that's primarily caused by anti-trans rhetoric at all levels.

People in congress are trying to push for trans people in the military to be stripped of gender affirming care.

People at the state level are banning trans people from bathrooms and public life.

People at the city level are doing the same.

Groups and individuals regularly target queer people with words and with violence.

Some other queer folx are even against trans rights, with movements like 'LGB drop the T' and similar.

When we are dismissed outright, or invalidated, when we are murdered at higher rates than most, we have dire need of substantial support. This means people educating themelves instead of relying on one or two people close to them. That means listening when we are distressed. That means understanding that just because you aren't aware of something or experiencing it first-hand that it isn't actually happening.

I am part of multiple groups that have been attacked and othered for most of our history.

I am neurodivergent ~ Autism and ADHD among others. I'm sure I don't need to go into detail about how ND folx have been and still are treated. Disability "benefits" are currently made to prevent us from having viable opportunity. Ableism is ingrained in our society.

I am jewish ~ We have been hunted down since the advent of the catholic church. Pogroms have been worldwide for millenia. Antisemitism is ramping up once again. I, and most of the jews I know, are tired and wary and scared.

I am queer ~ The gay panic of the 80s in which the government turned a blind eye to those suffering from AIDS. Gay marriage only began to be legalized less than 2 decades ago, and only became nationwide 8 years ago. My own mother took steps to do what she saw as curbing queer tendencies in me. Homophobia and transphobia are still quite prevalent, and we have much more work to do to ensure equality.

I am mixed race, including native ~ I think we all understand what is implied here. Native land has been regularly stolen for the exploitation of natural resources, to the extreme detriment of inhabitants.

Intersectionality abounds, amirite?

I was brought up not knowing any of that about myself. My education was white-washed and I didn't learn just how bad it has been for minority groups until I started educating myself.

I didn't learn who I truly was because information and experiences that were not pre-approved or considered 'appropriate' weren't allowed.

I was blamed and punished for being 'difficult' rather than anyone understanding I wasn't neurotypical.

My whole life I've been inundated with antisemitism..Learning about how jewish people were segregated from public life has made it more possible to see the parallels in anti-trans legislation today.

I didn't learn that the nazis destroyed *the* gender studies institute, until last year.

I wasn't taught about the trail of tears, except that it happened. A blurb in a textbook.

All this to say that while steps have been made to make things better for more people, there is *significant* pushback to reverse any social equality progress that has been made.

When I tried to bring up my concerns before, I felt outright dismissed. Entirely so. As though my concerns were entirely unfounded. That was incredibly invalidating and hurt immensely.

Please do the legwork of educating yourselves on issues that may not affect you. Getting to calmly debate matters of rights and economics is a privelege of those not under legislative assault.

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee has signed a bill banning drag shows in public spaces, a measure that will likely force drag shows underground in Tennessee. Other states across the country are proposing similar legislation.

Lee gave his signature just hours after the measure passed in the Senate Thursday afternoon. In the same sitting, Lee signed a ban on gender-affirming health care for youth in the state.

The announcement comes as a yearbook photo of the Republican Governor in drag recently surfaced on Reddit.

Lee says there's a big difference between wearing a dress at a high school football game and drag queens wearing a dress on stage.

Hella Skeleton, a drag performer in rural Middle Tennessee, says the line is not clear.

"For Bill Lee to say, 'You know, that was lighthearted when I did it,' that is absolutely absurd when a lot of drag is extremely lighthearted," Skeleton says. "Apparently when straight men dress up badly in drag, that's OK. But when gay and queer and trans people do it, that's not OK."

Republican State Rep. Jack Johnson co-sponsored the bill. He says, "We're protecting kids and families and parents who want to be able to take their kids to public places. We're not attacking anyone or targeting anyone."

BROAD LANGUAGE WORRIES ADVOCATES

The language of the bill has also drawn concern from the larger LGBTQ community. Drag performers are defined as "male or female impersonators." The ACLU of Tennessee's Henry Seaton says that could impact queer Tennesseans across the board, not just drag performers.

"It's ... this subtle and sinister way to further criminalize just being trans," Seaton says.

The ban could also have a chilling effect on Pride festivals. Outdoor drag is a staple in the Tennessee summer heat. While new laws typically go into effect on July 1, the bill was quietly amended in January to take effect April 1 — ahead of Pride month in June.

Tennessee Tech student Cadence Miller says his generation of queer people owe a lot to drag queens, and that it's no accident they're under threat now.

"Historically, drag has been such an integral part of queer culture," Miller says. "Trans drag performers who were like pioneers and us getting ... any type of queer rights, like at all."

LEGAL CHALLENGES AHEAD

The law calls drag shows "harmful to minors," but the state's American Civil Liberties Union says that the legal definition for "harmful to minors" is very narrow in Tennessee and only covers extreme sexual or violent content.

"The law bans obscene performances, and drag performances are not inherently obscene," says ACLU of Tennessee Legal Director Stella Yarbrough. The way the law is written, she says, should not make drag shows illegal in the state.

"However, we are concerned that government officials could easily abuse this law to censor people based on their own subjective viewpoints of what they deem appropriate."

Yarbrough says the ACLU will challenge the law if it is used to punish a drag performer or shut down a family-friendly LGBTQ event.

IMPACTS ON LOCAL BUSINESS AND BEYOND

The measure refers to drag shows as "adult cabaret" that "appeal to a prurient nature." Nashville business owner David Taylor testified before the state legislature that the drag shows at his club are not sexually explicit:

"We know this because we have a Tennessee liquor license and are bound by Tennessee liquor laws. Our more than 20 years in business, we've not received a citation for one of our drag performers."

Taylor says the ban on drag will negatively impact Nashville's economy. Drag brunches in the city's bars are filled with bachelorette parties, and Music City's infamous fleet of party vehicles includes a drag queen-specific bus.

"My businesses alone have contributed more than $13 million to the state in the form of sales and liquor taxes since we opened," Taylor says.

This legislative session is the third year in a row that the statehouse has peeled back the rights of transgender Tennesseans. It has many trans people and families of trans kids wondering whether staying in the state is worth the fight.

"There's a lot of people who grew up here, and this is where their roots are. And it's really brutal to be faced with that sort of choice of, you know, you can either stay here and suffer or you can leave this home that you've created and all that you've invested in here," says drag performer Hella Skeleton. "So, yeah, it's a really tough choice."

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uranium-city · 1 year

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@june-doe-event’s June Doe is finally here & with that I made my first entry to the with the pride prompt!! Here are a bunch of ramblings about my headcanons for the choir!! Maybe I’ll do little icons or something in the future but for now I just wanted to write my thoughts in the incoherent mess that is these few paragraphs 😭

Ocean is an asexual lesbian! As someone who only likes women she just radiates those vibes, it takes one to know one, y’know? Anyways with Ocean’s strong need to conform to societal standards I can very much see her as someone who suppresses their sexuality to feel more desirable by society. Girlypop’s got a lot of internalized homophobia she’s working through & is the last member of the choir to come out. The rest of the choir lowkey realizes she’s queer before she does 😭. She’s very “[Woman] is so pretty… but I’m NOT gay guys I’m NOT GAY!!”

The ace part is pretty self explanatory. Throughout the whole musical Ocean is repeatedly disgusted by anything & everything sexual. While it could be argued she does this to keep up her goody-two-shoes, moral persona, the fact that her acting like this only serves to antagonize her from the rest of the choir leads me to believe it’s less of a “Look at how moral I am!! You should vote for me!!” thing & instead a bit more personal. Her putting down Noel, Constance, & Ricky for expressing sexuality most certainly will not get them to vote for her I feel like she’s saying these thing just because that's genuinely how she feels about sex.

I posted this the other day but I’ll add it again here since I wanna make this point “I always found it odd how in Every Story’s Got a Lesson straight A student, miss smarty pants Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg interprets the lesson behind Romeo & Juliet to be “teen sex kills” & not that baseless hatred leads to unnecessary bloodshed. I’m sure it’s just a throwaway joke & doesn’t matter at all.. HOWEVER I will be using this to spread my ace Ocean agenda. No one that smart misinterprets such a simple message like that unless they already view sexual relationships in an inherently negative light.” Big sex-repulsed ace vibes to me.

Noel is canonically a gay man so there’s that. In my mind he’s a cis man but enjoys presenting himself in a fem-leaning lense. Like he definitely would’ve gotten into drag if he had lived & doesn’t mind she/her pronouns despite identifying as a dude. He’d probably get all giddy if you referred to him as Monique. Overall just very comfortable in his identity.

Mischa is THE bicon of all time. I feel like it took him a while to realize that as well but not because of internalized homophobia like Ocean but instead because he just?? never really thought of it as an option?? Mischa’s not homophobic in the slightest but grew up in a country where queerness is typically regarded in a negative light & because of that the thought of him being queer never really crossed his mind. It wasn’t until he met Noel that he was like “Wait… man can actually like man?? Like romantically?? …like actually??! Woah... that’s awesome..”. I also like the idea of Mischa being polyam because he has two hands Goddammit & one’s for Talia & the other is for Noel.

I feel like the entire RtC community collectively agreed on Ricky being trans which is really funny to me /pos. In my mind he’s gender-fluid & uses any pronouns & is usually referred to with he/him due to being masc presenting. I don’t really have any strong opinions on whether he’s transfem or transmasc I just know that he hasn’t got a cis bone in his body lmao. I feel like I tend to gravitate towards transfem since that seems to be the most common headcanon in the fandom but transmasc Ricky has really been starting to grow on me. I like the idea that despite the language barrier he faced & more traditional urban-ness of Uranium City he was able to express himself through transitioning & presenting more masculine. He’s not a trans man but he’s typically more comfortable settling with a masculine identity so it’s the best way he can express himself to a town that’s not understanding of his identity as a genderqueer person. + he was actually played by a transmasc actor once & that’s really cool!! Either way, trans Ricky is so real & I love how creative the fandom is when applying that headcanon to aspects of the musical like with the many interpretations of what Savannah meant to Ricky. Sexuality wise?? He definitely likes women & is either flat out only attracted to women or bi with a heavy female lean.

Jane Doe doesn’t even know her own name let alone her sexuality. But that can’t stop me from giving Penny Lamb headcanons >:]

Despite the fact that I think about Penny the most out of the choir I never really could settle into a set lgbt headcanon for her?? I would love to say that Penny’s a lesbian but Legoland is very complicated with how it portrays her sexuality. Like it comes across that Penny does like men with her remarks on Johnny Moon & is only bullied for being a “lesbian” since this is the 2000s & being homophobic to the weird kids was the norm back then. But also?? Penny is pretty much implied to not even know what a lesbian is?? With her sheltered upbringing in Elysium it’s possible she didn’t even know what the concept of being queer was until she started being bullied at St. Cassian. Like if she didn’t even know being queer was a thing until she was like 15 then I highly doubt she has any sort of grasp on her identity. Like this isn’t your everyday normal comphet, this is… ADVANCED comphet.. + with all the Ride the Cyclone productions that have so many different futures for Penny (or whoever Jane is brought back as) including ones where she takes a husband, outside Legoland sources saying Penny’s not gay, but also the knowledge that Legoland is admittedly dated & if it were to be revised in modern day it would likely make Penny queer or at least leave it ambiguous since it’s more appropriate, I am so endlessly confused. I like lesbian Penny a lot !! I would like for it to be semi-canon but I definitely wouldn’t die on the hill that it is because of the way Legoland is written. Anyways those are my thoughts.

On a more brief note I feel like Penny’s agender but in a really apathetic way. By that I mean she just does not care at all. She doesn’t mind being referred to as a girl, she just doesn’t feel very connected to it. She doesn’t feel really connected to any other identity either, like in regards to gender she feels like she could just take it or leave it lol. She was born female & has such been referred to with feminine terms her whole life so that’s she’s become used to it, but if one day everyone around her inexplicably started referring to her with masculine terms she’d just continue her day like “oh okay that works too I guess.”

Additionally Ezra shares the same feelings surround gender except that he’s accustomed to masculine terms instead. The main difference is that if you asked Penny her pronouns she’d probably be like “Oh I don’t really have a strong preference, thank you!” while Ezra would be like “Gender is a socially constructed scam created by the U.S. government to sell more toys at the McDonald’s. I am above that meandering capitalist propaganda. Do not refer to me.”

& finally Constance I go back & forth from her being the STRONGEST straight ally known to man & her being pansexual. (She does claim to see the gold, the pink, & the blue… coincidence?? I think not… /j.) Either way she definitely threw everyone little parties when they came out with cupcakes decorated as pride flags. She very supportive regardless of if she herself is queer or not. & while I hadn’t thought about this before, my one ace friend brought up that the way she regards sex as just something she needs to get out of the way comes across as ace reminiscent & I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I can def see her as being on the ace spectrum!! To me she doesn’t experience a complete lack of sexual attraction & definitely isn’t sex repulsed like Ocean but falls in the middle of ace & allo. Gray asexual Constance is very real to me.

#june doe #ride the cyclone #ocean o'connell rosenberg #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #ricky potts #jane doe #penny lamb #ezra lamb #constance blackwood #pride

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c0rpseductor · 1 year

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i think it's so dumb to depoliticize discussions about rape and pretend it's never part of a larger cultural trend. obviously it matters a great fucking deal on a political level to examine what groups are able to enact certain types of violence on what other groups with what amounts to basic impunity and what that says about society. it's so stupid to me to argue that there's no broader trend or that it's Not A Political Issue. it's about power, you idiots, of course it's political. die.

like, clearly rapists don't suffer appropriate consequences the majority of the time because even many of those who condemn rape privately subscribe to the idea that the more powerful person in a given situation is inherently justified and that the more vulnerable person is an acceptable target (hence basically every victim-blaming argument imaginable). why would nearly anyone be punished for violent crimes like this in what's essentially a fascist state where power and a monopoly on violence is seen as virtue and where victims nearly always "have it coming" provided the perpetrator carries enough social capital? and where allegations are automatically given more credence if they fit certain narratives about oppressed minority groups ("drag queen groomer" bullshit, emmett till), even if they're demonstrably false, because they provide flimsy justification for further violence by those in power?

if you couldn't tell i'm really mad about the white house task force recommendations for rape prevention on college campuses given by rainn in 2014, which are basically like, rape culture is bad theory because it "has the paradoxical effect of making it harder to stop sexual violence, since it removes the focus from the individual at fault, and seemingly mitigates personal responsibility for his or her own actions." i don't think pointing out that people approve of this horseshit removes any sort of personal culpability in one's actions. i think only a total idiot would assume this. like, come on.

i guess i understand that some people feel they HAVE to depoliticize it to get people on board with the prevention of sexual violence, but like, how do you expect to successfully depoliticize something that strikes a nerve precisely BECAUSE it's so inherently fucking political? rape is a knee-jerk issue in american society precisely because so much of our political discourse revolves around who gets to put their boots on whose necks, and people want to pretend it's just magically divorced from the rest of reality for, uh, some reason

#rape ment #ask to tag #fed up <3

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mamamittens · 11 months

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Hi! i'm a avid reader of fanfic and I recently saw some post about purity culture. What is purity culture?

This is a bit... Of an odd ask for me, but I'll try my best as someone who has grown up in the Bible Belt of America where purity culture is thick.

Uh, content warning for purity culture, rape, rape culture, and sex. It's complicated and quite unpleasant to get into, but I'll try not to drag down the conversation too much. It'll be a bit messy though, because it is a very large topic and I likely won't be able to cover a lot of it here without it being unwieldy or heavy to read.

Purity culture is in reference to... Well, it's a bit complicated and expansive, but at its root it's at least associated with Abrahamic faith practices based on sex and virginity.

Depending on where you live, you've likely already seen or experienced instances of it. Typically applied almost exclusively to girls and women, in fact.

Where it's viewed as an inherent value of a person based on their sexual activity (even perceived sexual activity). Wherein any 'sexual' act devalues someone, even if they don't quite say it so openly.

Like girls who have had a lot of boyfriends or are rumored to 'put out' a lot or are 'easy'. They're usually looked down on more than, say, the pious good girl that waits till marriage for sex. Depending on the extent, even kissing or thinking about romantic/sexual relationships are seen as sinful and requiring penance to 'earn back' their once 'pristine' purity.

This standard is rarely, if ever, applied to men and boys by the way.

An example would be the weird conference my school took us on at the end of elementary. It had a few seminars about self defense, the D.A.R.E program (say no to drugs thing), and the ending was a big speech about abstinence. Which is the most common way to perpetuate purity culture instead of education about sex, safe sex, and pregnancy.

There, there was what I believe to be a pastor, who gave a demonstration about why it was important to save yourself for marriage.

His chosen metaphor was a bar of chocolate (others include chewing gum or even cars), where the point he was trying to get across was that you wouldn't want a chocolate bar a lot of people have handled. That it gets gross and melts and is generally unappealing--he hilariously had to lick it cause the boy he chose to help demonstrate didn't give a shit about bare hands touching the chocolate bar.

There was also some weird part about how things get boring the more you do them and you naturally want to eventually get further and further. From holding hands until, before you know it, you're having sex cause you just can't get that rush from holding hands anymore.

I don't know. It was weird all around.

Anyway, my mom was horrified when I told her and that was all I needed to know it was bullshit.

In hindsight, the obvious conclusion is that the pastor was implying that people will think you're gross and won't want to be around you if you sleep with someone you're not married to.

On the surface it doesn't seem so bad, but the toxicity only grows when you realize things are rarely ever so simple.

Because there aren't exceptions in purity culture for abuse or rape. Or for the very real case where a relationship you thought was forever turns into just... A few years. If that. You're not suddenly lesser because you were sexually abused or thought you'd be with someone for the rest of your life.

But purity culture insists you must be. You, typically in this case, being a girl or woman because "boys will be boys" and "men have needs". Because your body, your purity and virginity, was supposed to be a "gift" to your husband, not something to be passed around lightly. Your body was, in the eyes of purity culture, never really yours to do with as you please.

For the unfortunate, purity culture is a toxic downward spiral you won't ever be viewed compassionately through. And for those that play along, they turn into commodities and vilified for not giving into their partners "urges" in many cases. Being called a prude, frigid, or uptight.

It's contradicting and unfair, toxic even for the men that barely need to worry about it to start with. Because sex in purity culture is a hot commodity and a need which mystifies a very common aspect of human relationships. Leading to unwise decisions or unfortunate circumstances such as teen pregnancy, rape, and sexual abuse in extreme cases.

Because purity culture also doesn't like to... Talk about sex in even the basic terms. "Leads to sin" as it were, but if you don't know anything about sex, how do you know you've had it? How are you supposed to realize you can get pregnant or contract an STD? If all you know is that sex is "something for husbands and wives to share" involving "special parts" how can you know when your naivete is being taken advantage of? How can you ask for help if you only know to call your parts (dick, vagina, whatever equipment you're working with) vague pleasantries like "butterfly" and "fishing pole" or whatever? So saying someone touched your "butterfly" or "fishing pole" sounds so innocuous, why would they be alarmed?

And it doesn't have to be just sex, by the way. Clothing and style choices also can be judged harshly in purity culture. I've seen girls be called whores for using tampons, dying their hair, reading romance novels, having guy friends, or wearing tank tops. Anything viewed as "promiscuous" or even vaguely "sexually appealing" can be used as an excuse to denounce your value under purity culture. Depending on how uh... Conservative in their belief they are. Hell, some girls are considered whores just for who their family is.

Or even your sexual attraction/orientation but that's like, an even bigger and more complicated can of worms based on where/when/and what type you're talking about.

I hope this helps and I absolutely encourage you to research more on the topic because I am only one person from a fairly laid back household on the topic of religion and sex. I know there are at least TedTalks on the matter, and even documentaries but fair warning, it can get pretty dark pretty quick.

#mittens answers #mittens rambles #tw: rape #tw: religious trauma #tw: purity culture #purity culture

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necrocities · 8 months

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@cell113 realized tumblr wasn't gonna let me dm you bc this is a sideblog, so I figured I'd @ you since the link is one of your reblogs and I am indeed interested if you happen to have any thoughts.

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I honestly don't know how I feel about reblogging the post directly, but I have a thing I've noticed. I'm gonna dissect it further but.

[pedophilia, sexual assault, systemic harm, physical harm, discomfort.]

the energy this gives off is the same as conservatives celebrating when drag queens are chased out, or medical facilities get bomb threats called in, or places are ACTUALLY set up with bombs in the name of "protecting the children."

it was never about protecting the children. not really. even when these people say it is, and they may genuinely think it is, it's about their fears and discomfort. more often their fears imo.

but in this specific case. it even looks to be about the blind adrenaline about "getting something done"

it really can be difficult to sit down and have a clean discussion about what to do to keep people safe without divulging in discussing your personal feelings. it's natural in itself, but the trouble is with not letting that stop the conversation from coming to an effective conclusion. when the answer is to do something that obtains results similar to in the post, that's just beating on someone weaker to achieve getting those you dislike out of the public eye.

even if they don't/hadn't match(ed) up to the accusation (which I'm not familiar with the animator being spoken of), it's about feeling good. those who celebrate the death of those who remind them of their fears and discomforts are chasing good feelings to escape the bad.

and that's breaking it down simply. no emotions are actually inherently good or bad. they're all complex.

this is why it's important to actually be able to set them aside when the time is appropriate. pushing for actions that cause harm to or the death of others is not effective action.

if you're someone worried about either those with paraphilias you see as inherently harmful, or sexual predators, killing them will not conclusively address your goal. I phrase them this way since there tends to not be a comprehensive difference from what I typically see. I want to make sure I fully address this.

when a group decides that the solution us to kill another group, in our current environment, that often means them hiding who they are for their own safety. you can't count all of a population when they're afraid to identify themselves anyways, so it's inherently ineffective. an unlikely goal.

and here's the thing. causing those with paraphilias to hide doesn't mitigate the harm caused by sexual predators. if someone wants to cause harm, they easily can in the US, where I'm mostly speaking of.

the response I see from people when someone actually is blatant about WANTING to cause harm sexually is to freeze and stare at others, waiting for someone to speak up. nobody does.

note that this is OFTEN what I see occur. not always. there's also times where people take action and can attempt to bring victims to safer places or take action against a perpetrator.

but even then, the actual victims don't always find more benefit in speaking up over risk of losing any safety still left. there's nowhere near enough evidence that speaking up will ACTUALLY bring safety to them.

we have to provide safer environments to lessen these fears. provide for and support those who come to you. ask THEM what they wish you to do. they may not want the world to know, but they told you because they think you'll keep them safe. be it physically or emotionally.

I can't say I have a perfect answer as to how to mitigate harm from predators across the board. it's a million dollar question.

what I can say is that we have to do our best to be gentle and understanding with the victims who DO open up to us. let them decide how public to make it. if they need to be quiet, respect it. you often won't know their situation better than they do. work under the assumption you don't if you aren't sure. but support them nonetheless.

#ill add more tws on request #hareraiser #long post

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frenchiefan · 1 year

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The Great Izzy Hands Divide

Hello all. I come to you a Izzy neutral, huge TV enjoyer with media studies background, here to try and answer the fandom’s polarizing, puzzling, and at time painful question of what is this Izzy divide? And how do we move on from it so we can all have fun, and everyone can feel safe.

And not get viscous over whatever happens in season 2.

As it’s clear-I’m writing anonymously because the tension has gotten-that intense and I’m earnestly afraid of backlash from both sides. That’s not to say EVERYONE in the OFMD twitter/tumblr fandom is part of this polarizing Izzy divide, but the discussions, discourses, pain, and attacks, have become so loud I believe most people-even a neutral person like myself have heard about them/seen them on our twitters/tumblrs. I love this show so much and have been in the online community since it aired in March, so a lot of this is based on my observations-and from what friends on each side have told me. For the sake of protecting everyone who has received online hate or are just trying to have fun in fandom-I won’t be listing any usernames, or quoting specific tweets/blog posts, but if you’re doubtful about any of my talking points you need only check Izzy tags on tumblr/twitter.

My hope in this meta is to unpack what’s going on, where are these sides coming from, what do they seem to believe, and how can we collectively move forward no matter how we feel about Izzy to just have fun with an extremely inclusive, progressive, funny, romantic, and queer show that’s obviously meant very much to many of us in terms of representation. My biggest goal is making folks feel able to have fun in fandom spaces-and everyone to be a little kinder.

So to start off-let me do my best to summarize what is going on for those who aren’t active on twitter/tumblr or are so deep on one side/in a corner they don’t see much discourse:

In some pockets of the fandom there is a very heated schism over the character of Izzy Hands that goes beyond just ‘folks who dislike Izzy as a character’ and ‘folks who like Izzy as a character’.

There are those who proclaim his character is inherently horrible and irredeemable and anyone who is a big fan of him must by proxy, be a horrible person too. For the sake of this analysis these are the “Izzy-haters”. The opposite side appears to be a group who really adore Izzy, and see him as a much softer and sympathetic antagonist/anti-hero and believe those who hate Izzy lack empathy or are very puritanical and are misreading his character. I’ll refer to them as the “Izzy-apologists”.

So how did this come about? And why’s that worth writing meta on? Don’t all fandoms have character and ships wars and so on? Absolutely. But it’s gotten to the point some people are getting constantly harassed and doxed or people are afraid to even share thoughts or fan-made content about the show without fear of retaliation or being dragged into a divide. So where does this fall in the context of fandom?

Whenever a character becomes a fan favorite, some of their fans look for ways to justify their actions, and/or ship them with numerous people. This happens in all fandoms. Look at Harry Potter (cringe I know, absolutely fuck JK Rowling, but I’m assuming it’s popular enough you all know the reference I will make here), back in its hay-day one of the most popular ships was with Harry and his constant bully/rival Draco-because Draco became such a fandom darling. This was called ‘slash’ shipping, to purposefully ship two characters together who were enemies/rivals/at odds in the media and it has remained very common in all fandoms.

It’s not a bizarre phenomena for people to relate/find an antagonist sexy and want to put them in situations, especially if they get exciting romantic/sexual tension out of it. People can like villains/antagonists for many reasons: maybe it’s their confidence, their camp, their backstory is complex, or something as simple as their design is sexy. It’s not bizarre either, for fandom to develop characters with little to no backstory or fill in parts of their backstory that ‘fanon’ (fan content considered canon amongst a fandom) becomes so big it’s challenged between fans if someone rejects it-even if it has no canonical basis in the media itself.

So Izzy fans (I say fans not apologists yet) began doing so, writing Izzy fic, making Izzy art, making Izzy/Ed backstories, so on and so forth. Typical fandom behavior. However as is also typical fandom behavior-some people don’t enjoy seeing some of those slash pairings, when the canonical interactions between those characters involved pain. So certain fans began making it clear they didn’t want to see it/disliked it. Others pointed out some Ed characterization in certain pieces of content could be slightly problematic in terms of racial stereotypes if it involved making Ed as consistently violent toward Izzy after canon implied Ed only resorted to violence toward him for having his life threatened. And again, as usual in fandom, a few overzealous folks can really stir the pot and make it worse for everyone.

From what I observed: a few key ‘Izzy-haters’ popped up and began making the sweeping generalization that all big “Izzy fans” were racists and white, for liking Izzy in any capacity after he hurt his POC boss Ed. Some of those folks were big on twitter, and POC themselves, so their voices reached far-and well-lots of people wanting to be sure they didn’t get called racists themselves or accidently support something racist quickly joined in on these call-outs and the mounting generalizations regarding any sort of sympathetic Izzy content that diverged from canon. This generalizations became about the fans of Izzy themselves than just Izzy.

Logically, for the Izzy fans who weren’t going to be shamed into dropping their favorite character, this led to them becoming very defensive of Izzy to defend themselves. Arguments came up that Izzy was actually harmless, Stede was just as bad as Izzy, or the other characters’ actions against Izzy were far worse and the show’s framing was wrong to cast him as ‘the worst’, ‘Izzy is fictional and it doesn’t matter-the show is itself is messily written so is anyone to criticize Izzy’. These folks became “Izzy-apologists”, who instead of just being fans of Izzy-would only be fans of Izzy if they could prove he was unproblematic.

Things escalated and escalated with people getting intense on each side. An Izzy-apologist made a rape joke that went a mini-viral about wishing sexual assault on all people who hate Izzy. Some POC felt uncomfortable staying in fandom or going through main tags from some of the stereotyping HCs/content around characters of color shipped with Izzy. It bears noting though, the most extreme harm appears to have been done toward the Izzy fans group. There was an instance where doxing was attempted and potentially succeeded against an Izzy fan, with a bunch of their closest followers being threatened as well, leading a large major of Izzy fans on twitter to become especially anxious, and turn even the most neutral person, or mild Izzy fan, into a stern Izzy-apologist out of fear that anyone who aligned themselves with “Izzy-haters” would commit the same kind of horrifyingly harmful behavior that could affect peoples’ off-line lives. And that if they couldn’t prove Izzy was actually a harmless character-they were in danger for openly liking him.

So that leads us to our current state of affairs. Some Izzy-haters proudly proclaim their disdain for Izzy and his big fans, occasionally getting into arguments with apologists over how much Izzy is at fault vs Ed, or dismissing anyone who likes Izzy in any capacity as racist. Any POC who claim to be an Izzy-fan are often erased or accused of race-faking or internalized racism. People who seem to support Izzy ships/art/fics with likes/retweets that are sympathetic toward him are characterized as apologists or racist as well. Izzy-apologists or stans get hateful anons on tumblr or mean quote retweets on twitter. Pretty hostile.

On the flip side, some Izzy-apologists have taken to calling anyone who doesn’t outright love Izzy, or mainly engage in canon ship content as “Gentle-beardies” and speak about them in mocking, referring to them as boring, mean people who lack sympathy for Izzy because he’s an underdog or an old man who isn’t attractive enough to get sympathy. There’s a belief from some that if you profess any dislike toward Izzy you’re probably an asshole who’s ready to dox everybody who does like Izzy. Many POC are often shut-down or ignored-or told they don’t understand history/media studies when they point out issues with certain Izzy HCs/fics. People who dislike Izzy or pointed out in his laws in good faith have also received hateful anons or mocking quote retweets. Again-pretty hostile.

And that leaves…a lot of tense neutral people in the middle. Anyone who ranges from mildly enjoying Izzy to disliking him without making it personal. Folks who would happily write fics or do art or funny HCs about their thoughts on Izzy with others but are afraid to get lumped in any category. People trying to appease sets of friends who will react very strongly if you seem to lean to one side of the Izzy divide that isn’t their own.

So I’d like to try…and see if I can try and break down where these two groups' beliefs are spanning from-and see if there is someone who is actually ‘right’ in all this. I think I recently cracked the code on why no matter how many debates break out on twitter or tumblr over Izzy there never seems to be any progress to peace-and it is because the two sides are viewing Izzy in extremely different lenses.

Let’s start with the Izzy-haters. From what I’ve gathered, they’re of the belief Izzy is an extremely racist, homophobic, irredeemable bigoted character, a la a neo-nazi biker at the bar who’s bad side suddenly comes out once he gets a chance to show his power. Therefore anyone who is somehow seeing Izzy as sympathetic or redeemable is clearly harboring those internalized racisms or homophobias themselves. This lens sees Izzy as the ultimate villain of the show, it views Izzy in the frame of history in the show’s time period, as a white man with the power of whiteness in the 1700s, which he uses to bully others and eventually tear down Ed mentally.

Their evidence usually comes from the following talking points:

Izzy’s treatment of crew of color: consistently bullies and talks down Fang and Ivan, and once in power uses it to have crew of color doing hard labor.

Izzy hates gay people: Izzy mocks Lucius when he catches him with Pete and clearly targets him for his overt feminine labeled qualities of queerness-similar to his distain for Stede and his lack of more traditional masculinity.

Izzy sees Ed as an animal: Izzy sees Ed as an object and only wants to see him living out a stereotype of a violent POC, and Izzy sells out Ed to the English in episode 8 just to have control of him afterwards.

Izzy-apologists look at Izzy in a nearly opposite light. Izzy is not so much a villain, as just a misunderstood antagonist-or even anti-hero/prickly old man who is harmless at the end of the day. He’s short, he has stomach issues, he doesn’t have that much power. He’s relatable because he’s trying his best at his job and his boss doesn’t appreciate him. This lens looks at Izzy as a queer, lower socio-economic, character without much power in the story he’s in, just trying his best to stay alive in the harsh world of piracy.

The Izzy-apologists often answer the above Izzy-Hater points with these arguments:

Izzy’s actions are not from racism & do not cause that kind of harm: Izzy is frustrated no one is working as hard as him on the ship since Ed is busy playing dress up, Fang is off getting sketched, and Izzy is just trying to survive, hence why he’s so harsh to everyone, and tired of being underappreciated. Race has nothing to do with it.

Izzy is gay himself and therefore can’t be homophobic: Izzy is clearly in love with Ed, as evidenced from interviews with Con O’neill & David Jenkins, and Izzy is just annoyed with Lucius and Stede being rich and/or is jealous of them and their freedom to be be openly queer.

Izzy is in love with Ed and served him for years: Izzy would not work for a man of color for years and try to protect him if he was racist. Izzy thought Calico Jack would get Ed out of the English raid before they showed up and only ‘took custody’ of Ed to save his life after things back-fired.

Both of these sides can seem pretty persuasive on their own without any context. And when the two groups are looking at Izzy in such vastly different lenses it makes sense why neither is ever going to agree or compromise on their viewpoints. It would be like a set of people arguing about the abilities of a rabbit-but one side thinks they’re talking about “Bugs Bunny” from “Looney Toons” and the other thinks they’re talking about “Thumper” from Disney’s “Bambi”. If one side goes “Well the rabbit loves wearing dresses” the other is going to call them outright liar-since they think they’re talking about an entirely different rabbit. They are very rarely going to reach a compromise because they are coming from two vastly different perceptions of what a rabbit is-just like these two sides are coming from two vastly different perceptions of who Izzy is and what he does.

So is either side “right”? As a neutral person, with friends on each side, here’s my perspective.

Let’s get to the elephant in the room. Is Izzy racist/homophobic or just misunderstood? That is the question. Because most progressive queer fans of a progressive queer show, would be very uncomfortable if they were stanning a character who was akin to “Hans Landa”( the Nazi from Inglorious Basterds or “Calvin Candie”(the plantation owner from “Django Unchianed). But because a few Izzy-Hater people very vocally read Izzy as akin to a Hans or Calvin, Izzy-apologists in the last few months went into full gear doing their best to assert-Izzy lacks any power and carries identities that would make it impossible for him to be like any of those characters, with metas, HCs, fics, and so on.

I think the real answer comes from a misunderstanding of racism on both sides. A lot of people-especially white people, often think of racism in all or nothing terms. You’re either card-carrying Neo-Nazi member of the KKK, who loves Brexit to get rid of immigrants, or a monthly supporter of the ACLU, NAACP, and all other progressive racial rights groups who have never said or done a racist thing in their life.

The reality is unfortunately and fortunately much more nuanced. Anti-racism studies tell us most of Western society itself was built on foundations of white supremacy and heteropatriarchy. Most countries of the world were colonized at some point, and had racist laws and processes built into their civilization. So small and big acts of racism exist every single day. Many people will do or say racist or homophobic things toward one group or another without ever intentionally trying to hurt anyone-but still have horrible impact-or an impact that adds to a smaller effect but still long term process of alienating others which becomes harmful.

So what does that mean? It means people can often be racist or homophobic, or sexist or abliest, without ever consciously choosing to. Now it’s important to point out-in a good portion of those situations the harm they cause won’t be as intense as say, someone who is consciously and deliberately bigoted trying to get the outcome of causing pain to a group they have prejudice toward. The constant messages and systems in our society can contribute to something called “internalized bias” where society conditions a person to think about a certain group one way. In example-none of us have ever met a real elf, but so much media containing elves paints them as elegant, woodland, intelligent, and snobbish-that we would describe an elf like that if asked and expect them to behave like so. Well the same thing can happen when we see and hear stories of certain races stereotyped certain ways-we just assume certain certain behaviors are part of their defaults based on the stories we’ve been told-which can lead to far more dangerous situations if a group is being stereotyped as criminal or dangerous.

But that doesn’t mean those people who are causing the smaller acts of unintentional harm, or unconsciously causing harm, should be entirely dismissed as innocent by naivete, and therefore allowed to go on. If a child breaks a window with a football you wouldn’t arrest them for deliberate vandalism-but nor would you simply ignore the matter without having a conversation about how to use footballs in the future to avoid breaking other peoples’ windows.

Okay, what does this have to do with Izzy? Or Our Flag Means Death? If you check the meta tags of tumblr or articles written on the show, the queue is long of people who have analyzed and pointed out how well the show addresses race, racism, and so on in the show. It’s not a race blind show unlike some media adaptations (Like Bridgerton) where the different power structures of race in the modern day or the show’s time period, is never acknowledged. Episode five is extremely explicit in its addresses of race from how my fav Frenchie and Oluwande are treated. It addresses the inequalities of the 1700s while updating our protagonists enough from their asshole historical counterparts, that the show becomes and inclusive progressive story where racists are punished for their behavior. The show understands the nuance of racism and homophobia though, showcasing sometimes those unconscious moments can come up even from characters who mean well.

We actually see a good number of unconscious acts of racism in the show-like when Stede and Pete assume the Native Nation ate the hostages when they’re captured in Episode two, or when Stede stays awkwardly silent to Badminton’s comments about his “colorful crew” in Episode one. It’s obvious the most egregious racists though in the show are meant to be the English navy, from the comments to their innuendos, to their positioning as the most disruptive villains in the show. If there are the equivalent to modern day hate-groups or bigots in the show-it’s them based on textual canon evidence alone.

By that assertion-we know Izzy is not part of the navy. He is a pirate, he works with crew of color, and is in the show until episode 9 following most of Ed’s, a man of color, orders. Additionally, Izzy would not have sought the advice of Spanish Jackie, a black woman, if he were truly so bigoted he could not stand being below/taking help or orders from people of color. Therefore from what we’ve seen, it’s not really fair of Izzy-haters to assert Izzy is an absolute to his core violent bigot, and anyone who manages to love him after watching the show must be one too

To Izzy-haters’ points about Izzy mistreating the crew of color-it’s worth noting he’s just as awful to Pete and Lucius who are white in the show too. Izzy is clearly a grump who doesn’t have much affection or respect for anyone-unless they’re high ranking above him and proved their worth as a pirate like Ed or Jackie.

As for Izzy being overtly homophobic-as in hating any form of homosexuality or same-sex relations, that doesn’t entirely track with him inviting Calico Jack to help when its made clear to Ed and Jack have had a previous sexual relationship. Granted-maybe Izzy wasn’t around or didn’t know that, but it bears thinking he probably knew Jack wasn’t entirely heterosexual, or Ed if he’s had previous relationships with men and Izzy continued working for him.

To the final point of Izzy-haters, being that Izzy only sees Ed as an animal-it’s clear Izzy respected Ed’s reputation as Blackbeard and did care enough about him to send Calico Jack to try and save him before the English attacked, and make sure the English couldn’t execute him when it turned out he was there. Izzy says it himself in the text he’s “honored” to work for the “legendary Blackbeard” so he has some respect for that figure and humbleness toward it as well. There is some subtext to be gleamed from how Izzy smiles when Ed chokes him or even appears delighted after he realizes Ed has forced him to eat his toe, that he does harbor some sort of romantic or sexual feelings toward Ed-at least when he’s in his Blackbeard persona.

With all that said, I think canon evidence of season one makes it clear to us Izzy is no Hans or Calvin, and therefore his fans are not stanning or attracted the show’s equivalent of a Neo-Nazi. It’s extremely unfair to decide anyone who is a fan of Izzy is racist, because the comedy of the show and nuance to his character make it clear that’s not his sole role in the show. So liking Izzy in and of itself is not an issue, and should not be treated as a crime or generalized that only “white” or “XYZ” people like Izzy. And it definitely should not lead to people jumping to the conclusion someone who likes Izzy is harboring some deep hatred themselves, or is anyway worthy of doxing/stalking/etc.

So is that it-insanely long meta over-the Izzy-apologists are right? Well-as I said this is nuanced-as is the concept of racism and bigotry. While the text shows us Izzy is not to the level of bigot of a Neo-Nazi, I do think the text makes it clear to us Izzy is the antagonist for a reason and not a misunderstood little guy.

A lot of Izzy-fan content delves into the idea of the hidden world of Izzy. There are popular posts out there that say things like “Say what you want about Izzy but if a child handed him a toy phone he would answer it” although we never see him interact with children in the show. There are lots of HCs about his backstory, many certain Izzy must come from a poor, working class background due to Oluwande’s comment that “most pirates don’t choose this lifestyle”. There’s especially a lot of fan content generated around Izzy’s subtextual and interview commented on queerness.

Izzy is shipped with almost every male character in the show, especially with Ed and Stede or sometimes both at once. There are tons of metas and fics about Izzy’s repressed homosexuality and the shame and struggle he carries trying to be masucline in the rough world of piracy. Izzy being a trans man is an extremely popular headcanon too, to the point polls and threads and blog posts have been made about it. Some users have remarked they see Izzy as “inherently” trans, because of how much of an outsider he seems to them, referring to the fact he is shorter, teased, and seems unable to have the man of his desires, Ed.

It’s clear Izzy-apologists see Izzy from this lens. A queer man, who is teased, overlooked, and unable to get the things he has worked so hard for and truly desires. He is not some swaggering Chris Evans pretty-boy, he is a small, easily flustered man-and he earns their sympathy and at times empathy. In comparison to Ed and Stede who are taller, and seem to be getting what they want from the narrative, Izzy is an underdog. He doesn’t have Ed’s charm and looks or Stede’s money and influence over Ed. So Izzy apologists will often assert Stede is a far worse character than Izzy-a rich queer man invading spaces and who callously ignores Ed’s feelings abandoning him on the beach. Izzy’s pushing of Ed to be Blackbeard is only so Ed will survive in the world of piracy, as much as it hurt Ed.

For some Izzy-apologists Ed’s cutting off his Izzy’s toe was absolutely abusive and not a justified retaliation for the threat on his life, and shift the entire focus of the narrative that Izzy has been Ed’s constant victim-a trope that appears in many Izzy-apologist centered fics. Izzy is an “attack dog” or “sex toy” or “butler” to Ed-just tirelessly working for Ed all these years, out of desperation he’ll someday appreciate him. Some even are certain Izzy is Ed’s oldest friend. And the cruelest thing is Izzy is completely overlooked when an incompetent richer, and more effortlessly masculine man shows up and steals Ed’s heart.

This viewpoint seems to be why Izzy-apologists to dismiss any accusations of racism or homophobia in fics or HCs, and label themselves the ‘fun’ part of the fandom, recounting fans of canon couples as dull and unimaginative or unable to empathize with the struggle of someone as marginalized as Izzy.

The thing is, Izzy is not as marginalized in the canonical text as this popular fanon has made him out to be. As far as we know, canonically, Izzy is a cis white man, who has gained the benefits of it in the pirate world of OFMD. There’s nothing in the text to indicate he is poor or struggling, or specifically comes from an impoverished background. One could equally argue he came from a naval background hence his sense of his discipline like many historical pirates just as easily -as there just as little evidence. His first introduction is intimidating and held up as a contrast from Stede’s bumbling, that Izzy is the kind of ideal, masculine, pirate who commands respect. He nearly slices Stede apart in sword play until Oluwande and Pete assist in distracting Fang and Ivan.

In Izzy’s next appearance he commands respect in Spanish Jackie’s bar, with just his name getting Jackie to pause in her actions after she’s been shown to take no shit from anyone else present in the scene. It’s an entire point of episode three Izzy is insanely frustrated by Stede because he is the first person to best Izzy at stealing hostages in a long time-which is also noted as a surprising thing by Ed. Izzy is not a powerless little guy, he is second in command on the most powerful pirate’s ship. Within the show’s context he is a picture of ideal masculinity that pirates would strive for, because in the world of OFMD there no Marvel-esque Chris Evanses. No male character with a six pack and chiseled jaw. They cast handsome Con O’Neill for a reason-who has earned the admiration for his looks and attractiveness from other cast members like Nathan Foad (Lucius) and Vico Ortiz (Jim). So yes Izzy does get more respect than someone like Lucius or Stede off the revenge, hence at least one of the reasons he's baffled by the revenge itself. And it could be a multitude of reasons Izzy bullies Lucius and Stede-maybe it is internalized homophobia, jealousy of their open flamboyancy or past wealth, or maybe he just finds them annoying in general. In the end why he does it can be debated forever, but it's clear he does do it, because he is an antagonist in season 1.

As for Izzy’s loyalty or submissiveness to Ed-this is also contradicted by canon. Izzy disobeys Ed-multiple times. He doesn’t tell Stede “Blackbeard” wants to speak to him in episode two-and ignores Ed’s order to not duel Stede in episode six. Izzy tells Ed point blank in episode four he was honored to work for the “legendary blackbeard” which is the only reason he tolerated Ed’s changing moods-which surmises Izzy only knew Ed after he became Blackbeard, not as a long loyal childhood friend. Izzy is ready to leave the moment he thinks Ed has officially become an embarrassment and lost his mind in episode four, until Ed offers him the chance to become the new captain once he disappears after using Stede to fake his death. Which Izzy excitedly agrees to, delighted to see Ed’s ruthless side back again and not at all sad about the idea Ed will leave. Lastly, Izzy’s taunting of Ed in episode ten and calling him a ‘namby-pampy’ does not appear for the benefit of Ed’s survival, because he did not take this step when Ed was most vulnerable crying in a blanket fort. He only took this step when Ed decides he no longer wants to be Blackbeard, which means Izzy looses out a chance to have status by being associated with the most powerful pirate.

And as for Izzy’s queerness, yes there is a lot of subtext and interviews which strongly indicate Izzy is not heterosexual, but that doesn’t mean queer individuals are incapable of perpetuating homophobia themselves. Even within the Queer community there’s plenty of gate-keeping that happens amongst queers, and even if we decide Izzy himself is gay and in love with Ed in his own way, it doen’t diminish he clearly has a distinct idea of how queer men should carry themselves, with a distain for those who behave overtly classified feminine such as Lucius, or Stede (Or Ed in episode ten-hence the specific insult of “pining in a silk robe” toward him from Izzy).

So no, Izzy is not a misunderstood, oppressed figure in the show with a secret heart of gold. He is the antagonist very much so, and painting Izzy’s behavior as softer or justified by increasing the violence of Ed or ignoring the context, is something that is not just harmful to POC fans, but to those who consume fic and internalize those stereotypes getting put forth. Whether Izzy’s harm to Ed is because he selfishly needed him to be Blackbeard, or he had an internalized bias, or maybe he really in some backwards way wanted to ‘help’ Ed-it’s not insane that some fans and especially POC fans are going to notice the dynamic of race in these interactions-and how Ed being pressured into remaining a hyper violent persona by a white man is impossible to see without some element of internalized bias in place on Izzy’s part. Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people are allowed to find fault and discuss the villainous elements of him, without folks acting like it is a personal attack.

So what’s the point of all this? Am I trying to police Izzy-apologists they have to drop all their HCs and only ship canon content? Saying dark content with slash ships has no place in fandom at all? Not at all. Non-canonical ships have existed forever in fandom-so have villain/antagonist love. So has kinky, dark, and dubious content. Ship whoever you want to ship, and have whatever favorite character you want. Everyone deserves to have fun playing characters in fandom space without fear of being doxed or sent threats if they do so in a way another fan dislikes. Fandom content does have to be restricted to keeping things canonical and have the fun of canon is making AUs or putting characters in situations they'll never be in during canon.

There’s nothing weird about liking or relating to a villain. Everyone loved Walter White during “Breaking Bad”’s hay day (hence why the show was so big) but we didn’t see a rise in folks running off and cooking meth-and even today as I see the queer community reclaiming Jessie and Walt from the show-I don’t see folks accusing them of planning to go cook meth. Izzy fans can love Izzy and see parts of themselves in him without implying they would treat Ed the way Izzy did or share every single belief Izzy has. Just like people can relate to Walt for being powerless and angry in his life-WITHOUT resorting to cooking meth and becoming drug lords-Izzy fans can relate to Izzy from feeling overlooked at work without meaning they’re going to bully their friends into behaving a certain way. Izzy fans should not feel forced to become Izzy-apologists and well apologize for liking Izzy, or feel obligated to soften his edges.

But Izzy-apologists should be mindful of tagging their content that especially veers into slash-and also be open to hearing if the content they’re putting in main tags or sharing amongst themselves is leaning into harmful real-world stereotypes which can perpetuate peoples’ biases.

So with that said-I want to assert Izzy is the antagonist yes-but he’s not the Neo-Nazi from an Indiana Jones movie. Fanon Izzy has captured both sides of the Izzy debate some have forgotten what a real rabbit (the real Izzy) is like, and rewatching the show may help lift some of those lenses for folks. As of now Izzy stands at a crossroads-season 2 may push him into redemption or increase the stakes of his antagonism.

If Izzy does end up with a redemption arc and Izzy-haters need to be prepared to trust Jenkins and his writing team, that they do not loose faith in OFMD because it doesn’t go the way they hoped.

And with that said-I urge the Izzy-apologists the same, if Izzy doesn’t get a redemption arc and becomes worse, or is written out-it isn’t from fan pressure or a sudden 180 on the writer’s part. It’s part of David Jenkins’ vision which he’s stated he knew from the start of the story.

So what’s the consensus, where do we go from here? Here’s my suggestion based on the observations listed above:

Izzy-haters: Please recognize Izzy is more nuanced than you think, and even if season 2 puts him further him down his villain path, let Izzy fans exist in peace. You can block them, or mute them, or just ignore them. Unless they’re threatening folks if you can’t handle them enjoying Izzy in any capacity, you need to just let them be because it is just fiction and there are many many ways to enjoy a story or have fun with it. There are plenty of POC who like Izzy and and ALL of his fans do not deserve to be called names or accused of racism just for simply liking Izzy. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights.

Izzy-apologists: Please recognize Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people in good faith commenting on it is not an attack on you personally even if some Izzy-haters made you think so. Loving Izzy should not involve making the rest of characters, especially those of color, into harsher, crueler versions of themselves to make Izzy’s actions pale in comparison. If you can’t enjoy him without doing so, then please keep that especially dark content out of the main tags so people aren’t subject to racial or queer stereotypes that can be harmful. Real people should not be getting over a fictional character’s rights.

All of us: can take things in better faith, be more patient, learn to block & mute people if we stumble into their territory and they aren’t forcing their version of things down our throats. If we really do see content we think is going to hurt other people-we should address people privately in good faith assuming it was an accident and have a discussion about it. There is no reason any person should be sent anon hate or doxed over fictional characters. And if we start feeling overwhelmed-take a step back and breathe. Remember fandom should be fun.

And we should all remember-we shouldn’t be making sweeping generalizations about people or name-calling based on their favorite characters.

If you read any of this about the actions of “Izzy-haters” or “Izzy-apologists” and realized you might’ve contributed to some of their more toxic actions and perhaps I’ve persuaded you to reconsider-posting an open tweet or tumblr post of peace would be a nice step forward. “Sorry I called all Izzy fans toxic moving forward I realize that was unfair I won’t do it again” or “Sorry I said anyone who dislikes Izzy is prude and unempathetic I realize that was unfair and I won’t do it again”.

Well thanks for getting this far with me folks. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, I know it was a long one. My main goal is just that we all feel at peace to like or dislike Izzy as much we naturally do-without fear of any sort of retaliation or having our personhood labeled over it. As someone with friends on both sides-we’re honestly missing out on great times in fandom if we let our perception on one character divide us so violently or make us cruel to one another. Fandom should be fun-and if this helps even one person on either of these split fractures be a little kinder or calmer, I’ll be so cheery.

-Cheers, Frenchie’s most devoted fan.

TL;DR

Izzy is not a raging racist bigot, but that does not mean he’s pure and free of all wrong-doing or potential bias toward some characters.

Liking Izzy or relating to him does not mean that person BEHAVES like Izzy or would do the same things he does.

Do not refer to Izzy fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes him must be a certain way.

Do not refer to Other character fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes them must be a certain way.

A person is allowed to like Izzy without having to justify his actions.

We are allowed to disagree on how we characterize or see certain characters without making it personal.

People are allowed and it is normal to make fan content that diverges from canon.

Other characters should not be turned into racial or queer stereotypes to soften Izzy’s actions-and if that’s the only way you can enjoy him, keep it out of the main tags.

No one should EVER be doxxed or put in danger offline over their opinions on Izzy or any fictional character.

Learn to just mute and block people whose opinions you hate. Fandom should be fun. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights.

#our flag means death #ofmd #Izzy Hands #Edward Teach #Blackbeard #Izzy #Ed #Izzy x Ed #I really hope this helps everyone be kinder

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