#it hasn't been a good day today

[transexualpirate]

i think socialization varies too much to be determined between male/female only. i think "male socialization" and "female socialization" are reductive terms that btw don't come anywhere near explaining how the human psyche works. different times raise girls differently. different places raise boys differently. within the same region different cultures raise girls differently. within the same culture different families raise boys differently. like it varies so much that it's a meaningless term at this point. it's the afab/amab thing all over again

#mine #not to be taken seriously #discourse #or the tme/tma thing #anyways #if my brain were normal i honestly think i would have passed our from exhaustion sometime in the past week #thank god i have. issues #i was supposed to be sleeping rn #im trying #and failing #today hasn't been a good day at all #:(

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

#so either world quests or maybe i'll take a day off from games for today #depends on how i feel when i start playing #but i still have to do my dailies & my genshin weekly bosses & stuff :3 #i very much want to write something #but my brain hasn't been letting me lately #like i get a mild headache whenever i start trying to think of ideas #which probably means i still need a break but :/ #maybe i'll draw something if i can't write tonight #oh yeah i have those gushes to answer sometime today :D #but anyways #i hope you'll have a good day/night!! <3 #morning rambles

[dragonanne]

I just noticed something interesting. I write outlines for my books in present tense, but I write the actual books in past tense. It just feels...unnatural...to write the outlines in past tense. I don't know why.

#dragonanne writes a thing #I started to outline a new WIP today #Sunday was a rough day and so far this week hasn't been as good as last week emotionally #i don't know why but i haven't felt like writing on JT book 2 #but this story has come to me so naturally and easily that I'm kind of getting excited about it. #i think it'll be a novella #and i would love to publish it next year before christmas #it would be nice to have a smaller project to work on as i chip away at JT 2 #the ramblings of a dragon

[james-stark-the-writer]

holy shit, the SAG-AFTRA strikes are over????

#sag aftra #sag strike #SAG-AFTRA #james talks #they haven't revealed the details of the temporary agreement yet and it hasn't been ratified but today is the last day of the strike #here's to hoping it's a good fucking agreement and they get so much more than they're worth #pay your fucking creatives

[zazima]

“was it worth it?”

Sirius pauses his meticulously slicing of vegetables for tonight’s dinner and looks up to see Harry leaning against the kitchen doorway, his face pinched and hard to read.

“Was what worth it?” Sirius returns to the onion on the cutting board. “Remus challenging me to eat five peppers in a row last night? Can’t say for sure. I appreciate the ten Galleons but my heartburn is through the roof today.”

Harry scowls. “No. You know what I mean.”

Sirius sighs and sets down the knife, turning to fully face Harry. “Of course it was worth it, Harry. You know that. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Harry breaks their eye contact, his gaze dropping to the floor. “But you lost your magic. You can’t even use it to chop vegetables.”

Sirius grins. “You know I prefer cooking the Muggle way. That’s why my food tastes better than Molly’s.”

Harry doesn’t crack a smile at the quip. “But you can’t even see Diagon Alley anymore.”

Sirius scoffs. “I hardly doubt I’ll miss it. Always too many people and surely there’d be too much gawking if I went now. Besides, there isn’t a single thing you can’t order via post these days. I even heard Florean is expanding a delivery service; he’s perfected a charm that’ll keep the ice cream frozen and non-icy. So everything I’ll ever possibly need is only an owl’s trip away.”

When Harry speaks, his voice is quiet. “But you won’t even be able to see Hogwarts.”

Sirius stills. Ah, yes, he thinks. The one aspect that would cut Harry to the core. He strides over to Harry and gently tilts his chin up. Harry’s eyes are shiny, and his expression is entirely too morose for Sirius to do no nothing.

“I know Hogwarts is special to you,” Sirius says softly. “I know it was your first real home. It was to me too.” The admission causes Harry’s face to screw up and Sirius rushes with his next words. “But it’ll never compare to having a home here with you. Ever. And as long as I can see you and be with you, I’ll be happy. And as for being worth it, I’d come back a million times as long as it meant coming back to raise you. I don’t give a shit if I lost all my limbs, let alone my magic. Muggles have been doing just fine without Summoning charms and Scourgify and so have I so far. As long as this side of the veil has you, I don’t care what state I’m in. Alright?”

Harry nods, his eyes looking fractionally less shiny. “I’m sorry.”

Sirius gives Harry’s chin the barest of shakes. “What have you got to be sorry for? The spell wouldn’t have worked if I hadn’t truly wanted to come back. And I did. The second I fell through, all I wanted was to come back and make sure you were okay.” Sirius releases his grip and wraps an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Now come help me prep dinner. Just because it’s the Muggle way doesn’t mean it should have to be slow as shit with me doing all the work on my own.”

#a short one! #every day is sirius and harry day #but today is #sirius and harry saturday #harry potter #sirius and harry #harry and sirius #raising harry #dadfoot #bring black back #good godfather sirius black #godfather sirius black #fic #harry potter fic #hi i write sometimes #also this hasn't been proofread apologies if it's unreadable

[permanentreverie]

Would like to respectfully throw my uterus into the sun

#in my 8 years of having my period. I have been on time maybe. twice? #AND TODAY I HAVE TO BE ON TIME!? #I HAVE A FUCKING CONCERT TO GO TO 😭😭 #like instead of vibing in the shower this morning I was almost crying thinking about how I don't have any friends #and I've never been anyone's first choice #et cetera et cetera #and I've actually got anxiety cause I'm looking forward to the concert I love the artist #but I'm going with my brother which. I don't know if we have a good relationship or not #I'm just on guard around him ever since he said I was a bad person and treat everyone horribly a few weeks ago #which made me feel v suicidal 🙃🙃 #also I'm trying to get over this fact but I ordered a shirt from etsy #to wear to this concert #in MAY #and it hasn't arrived #so I requested a refund ofc #and I have a different outfit I can wear I was just. really looking forward to wearing this shirt #trying to not cry over that because in reality it's NOT that big of a deal but it feels like a big deal to me #also I don't have all the lyrics to the set memorized? which im nervous of actually? #idk guys im just. im so not fucking feeling great rn which sucks cause todays supposed to be a good day

[bejeweledmp3]

computer how do i stop feeling insecure on my writting so that can i write. computer please

#talking tag; #ok so. story time sure why not #today is my first day of uni and i had classes from 8.30 am to 11:45 which was. fine i was exhasuted but it was fine #and then i had to wait to meet some friends for lunch and i started writting and it just hit me that totp is actually over 50k words #and it's like brooooo i literally wrote a novel length fic (that's still not done btw! not close!) and for whattt who even has the time #to read something like that like why bother. it's not even (directly) about the main characters and i just #i'm afraid that i'm repeating myself i'm afraid that chracters are not being developed like i hoped they would i'm afraid that no one will #care and i'm also afraid that the people that do care won't like it #and then i met with my friends who study cinema and they bumped into people from their classes and i was just. #there listening to their conversations without interacting like what the FUCKKK am i doing here pretending that i fit in with the cool #cretive people and that my prose is any good at all #just. 50 thousand words of fanfiction and i'm worried that none of them are any good #but lately my motto is that i will figure it out so. i will figure it out #i did cry about it (lmao) which i'm counting as progress from the empty nothingness i felt around this time of year a year ago #but yeah man it sucks. totp is my baby but (just like kim lmao) my default is being hard on myself. i just can't not be #i think i'll write on my diary about this and then!!! we move on. oh well #i will finish totp that's a promise but yeah. today just hasn't been great i guess #and i have no one in my life to talk to about this so!!!!!! shouting into the void i guess

[unproduciblesmackdown]

like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day

then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)

#and then in immediate retrospect it's like I Mean I Knew It & even now to be saying it feels like i've effectively already said it #just more precise/specific Language available. & where even if it's like [restating this one idea] that's gonna say smthing new / a bit dif #winston billions #from the [immediately going HM HUH first time seeing his clips but taking months to be like He's Autistic(tm) Btw IMO] to now struggling to #say another Ay Word in discussing [he has a devoted workplace bully] as Abuse(tm) when plenty of what's abusive is considered ''normal'' or #correct or even Ideal while defining Abuse as xtreme outliers due to evil intentions & extraordinary situations (that you should avoid) #it's power structures & efforts to control & use/refuse people as things....plenty of ppl who can feel they're just acting Normal & Natural #while other ppl in entire groups Do have to perform which can only go wrong & be hurt / get that everyday trauma from their Normalcy. #those allistic social skills huh (again tldr invoking this concept just Is ableism....) #after a casual twenty plus years w/the gradual convergence of [figuring out i'm autistic] & [not blaming myself for being mistreated b/c #i'm autistic] does put a damper on expectations re: all interactions but it's like the way someone put it the other day #who hasn't said anything abt being autistic but that they don't think anyone's guaranteed any kinds of relationships/companionship incl #friendships (which i agree with; & it's not at all uncommon for ppl to be hard up for those out here. despite ppl treating socializing like #a meritocracy like hmm anyone doesn't have friends? sounds like that's on you not getting good / deserving that) & so he consciously #navigates how to like be genuinely satisfied w/a life that's just got him in it while being open to other ppl. thinking of how i've heard #abt Just That re: autistic ppl (but framed specifically re: dating; like might want a romantic relationship but ofc no one's guaranteed one #of those either (even if this too is definitely treated like in fact you Are guaranteed one & it is Again a meritocracy) And ofc there's #more barriers/hurdles for autistic ppl) & just going like yeah i've sure been always navigating that too while being open to ppl sure but #not feeling like i need that to change & sure asf not focusing on Putting Myself Out There lmao. i put myself out there by existing & by #saying things & by trying not to try to preemptively appease/appeal to anyone. seeing another quote today abt how they're nonverbal & this #results in being regarded as hostile like eugh been there enough; classic [putting myself out there] dramedy of terrors from back in the #day as a teen living on college figuratively sprinting around trying to figure it out; both the Autistacity & Abuse lol. & racking up more #of the latter for the former while i'm at it....nowadays like. certainly recent successes in [spontaneous alignments of being friends] had #to start w/like weeks into months of i'm not expecting someone else to have interest & in fact Am expecting; if nothing else; them to #realize w/e interest motivates them to talk w/me to be mistaken or w/e. as i'm struggling not to mask / beating back efforts to actively #appeal to anyone. being duly surprised when after months they still feel like talking to me. & even then just kind of entering another #phase of ''well but still'' lol like when interactions have largely felt like Buying Time at best #def on the same page as that guy like even [have friends] is not a Need. when i could go ''time to recharge socially'' & make it happen #what i like to do is go be in public '''''by myself'''' around ppl. truly the good shit. doing that kind of shit w/ppl has = nth wheeling. #now insert a short essay spinning off all this abt an approach to Language parallel to [concepts re Socializing] as tag thirty

[dropthecop]

adult job i hate you

#my entire day today has been OH NO I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE oh wait no i didn't WAIT YES I DID wait no this other guy did WAIT I WAS RIGHT ALL #ALONG! wait was i???? #can i have a moment of peace please.......... #also google search how to remind your boss to do something when it's explicitly your job to remind him and also you have a vested interest #in this thing getting done #but also you've already reminded him like 3 times and he keeps saying it's fine but also he hasn't done the thing yet... #at least i get good money for putting up with this i suppose. sigh. #in the middle of all of this i also had to make an appointment for me to go to the dmv. pain and suffering on planet earth etc etc #posts from hell

[lucy-ghoul]

i hate men

#i'm sorry today is one of Those Days when i hate men in general and the only exception is my brother #i don't really mean it but. as i do almost every day i read the news and there are like #4 women murdered one girl r*ped etc. #and i hear this kind of news every. fucking. day #i'm tired. also as i think i already mentioned other times in my extended family there's history of *severe* violence against women #the kind of thing you hear on the news (and no i wish it was an exaggeration but it's not) #so this is also very personal to me #and my mental health hasn't been good in ages #also i'm outraged about what's happening in gaza but that's another matter #val speaks #txt

[awsteb]

i suppose get not liking jawn but uh. if you're like super into parx you realise they're choosing to be his friend right. this is like a slightly less extreme version of gerard way fans who despise lindsey

#i had no idea what anyone was talking about until today and none of them provided sources so i'm still kinda. eh. #by and large i do not know the ins and outs of his personal life nor do i want to. #even if new information comes up i'm just gonna do my thing and remember i'm not a twitter parxie who feels immense guilt every time they #like a guy who has iffy friends #parxies wouldn't survive a day in mcrblr #i just don't get where you people (who like parx and related bands) draw the line here #gerard has made music with jimmy euringer #otto is in a relationship with kinda gross stuff going on and a girlfriend with the worst judgement i've ever seen #i've heard shit about the madden brothers #awsten has done some stupid shit #pete wentz is. i'm not even going to bother to dissect all of that because i know i'm not a good source of information #idk i just find it odd that there's such a sudden large hullabaloo about this as if the scene hasn't been a mess the whole time #transmission📻

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

#have a dentist appointment in a little bit #so for today i'll probably just do dailies/weeklys for genshin #and work on the event for hsr :3 #i do kinda wanna do wrio's story quest since it hasn't been that long since his birthday #but like tomorrow or friday would be a better day to start that lol #uhhh #i think that's all i have for this morning hehe :3 #i hope you all have a good day/night!! <3 #morning rambles

[chiropterx]

character flaws.

BOLD   —  character trait.

ITALIC   —  situational.

absent-minded | abusive | addict | adrenaline junkie | aggressive | aimless | alcoholic | anxious | arrogant | audacious | bad liar | bigmouth | bigot | blindly loyal | blunt | callous | childish | chronic heroism | cheater | clingy | clumsy | cocky | codependent | competitive | corrupt | cowardly | cruel | cynical | delinquent | delusional | dependent | depressed | deranged | disloyal | ditzy | egotistical | envious | erratic | fickle | finicky | fixated | flaky | frail | fraudulent | foul mouthed | guilt complex | gloomy | gluttonous | gossiper | gruff | grudge - holding | gullible | hedonistic | humorless | hypochondriac | hypocritical | idealist | idiotic | ignorant | immature | impatient | incompetent | indecisive | insecure | insensitive | lazy | lewd | liar | lustful | manipulative | masochistic | meddlesome | melodramatic | money-loving | moody | naive | nervous | nosy | ornery | overprotective | overly sensitive | paranoid | passive-aggressive | perfectionist | pessimist | petty | power-hungry | proud | possessive | pushover | reckless | reclusive | remorseless | rigorous | sadistic | sarcastic | senile | selfish | self-destructive | shallow | sociopathic | sore loser | spineless | spiteful | spoiled | stubborn | suspicious | tactless | temperamental | timid | thief | tone-deaf | traitorous | unathletic | ungracious | unlucky | unsophisticated | untrustworthy | vain | withdrawn | workaholic.

Tagged byStolen from; @svpe Tagging;; Whoever would like to do it?

#🦇 || dashboard games #🦇 || headcanons #🦇 || character sheet #Chip's a fucking liar #'I'm feeling really good today and pumped to write!' #Chronic fatigue and pain: Hello! It's been a while hasn't it? :) #💀 #So been feeling cruddy this afternoon/evening instead #The rain and cold gets into my joints and then I feel cruddy and unmotivated to do anything for the rest of the day #Might eke out one reply though if only that #One step at a time #Gotta keep the positive stuff in mind #So yeah! This was fun to think about! #Italised qualities are either Man-Bat or serum-induced changes #Or situational like Kirk's wife leaving him #I hope you're all handling Blue Monday better than I am <3

[bj-wnjn]

mentally laying on grass

#my day hasn't been good friends :// I've been really out of it today #not feeling good at all #rambling

[lit-in-thy-heart]

Choose your fighter: being able to feel confident in writing a scene with more than two characters, not worrying about sentence structure, or writing effortless descriptions.

#BECAUSE APPARENTLY YOU CAN'T HAVE ALL THREE AT ONCE #i'm fine i'm just feeling a little hysterical bc i've been worrying about equal 'screen time' between characters when there's more than two #which is proving to be a bit of a problem when one of my favourite ships to write is a poly ship #i think that solution is you don't have to have them all in frame at once one can just he vibing #but anyway started a second new wip of today to try and get back in the rhythm and just write something fluffy without stakes #only to hit into the wall of being very aware of my sentences which hasn't been so much of an issue #so far so good with the descriptions though #BUT ANYWAY #one day. one day i will get all three. again. #that's the most frustrating part: the fact it used to be so easy #it'll work out #and hey at least i'm laughing and not sobbing #which past me would have done #writing #lit writes #lit talks

[a9saga]

the brilliant green - stand by me // the day I run out of tbg videos to post will be the day I stop posting weekly song recs on this blog

#it may be 7am but i know if i don't post this now i probably won't post anything today #and i don't like to have the same pinned post for 3 weeks straight #i wasn't feeling like posting anything too consistently these last couple weeks #i gotta *feel* a song rec man if im gonna queue something i gotta know ill still be playing it by the time it goes up #i listened to the swingin sixties a couple days ago when i was having a lot of anxiety #i think that version of this song may actually be a bit better but you know it's just a good comforting song #bro idek who's getting evicted tonight this is the first week ive honestly been unsure #and i don't even know if i care who goes home! #all i wanna see is how we voted for the superpower competition #i wish either jared or izzy were being backdoored this week tbh over the two actually up for eviction #im done with the way izzy talks to or about people and also jared is saying some gross shit about women on the live feed #that doesn't make the actual cut for the episode #i have two (2) important things i have to do today #one of which is an important virtual meeting at 9 am that my alarm hasn't gone off for yet #yet here i am watching youtube videos and posting songs #i hate being responsible i wish my mummy and daddy had the money to pay for my college in full #and additionally i wish i hadn't been chronically ill for over half my life but here we are doing a damn zoom meeting 🙄 #aight yes im pretty stressed as you can tell #the brilliant green #j rock #tommy #90s j rock #tomoko kawase #shunsaku okuda #ryo matsui #song rec #tbt #shut up kaily #also i hope this band does anything ever again i miss them so much i cant even tell you #Youtube