#or the tme/tma thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transexualpirate · 3 months

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i think socialization varies too much to be determined between male/female only. i think "male socialization" and "female socialization" are reductive terms that btw don't come anywhere near explaining how the human psyche works. different times raise girls differently. different places raise boys differently. within the same region different cultures raise girls differently. within the same culture different families raise boys differently. like it varies so much that it's a meaningless term at this point. it's the afab/amab thing all over again

#mine #not to be taken seriously #discourse #or the tme/tma thing #anyways #if my brain were normal i honestly think i would have passed our from exhaustion sometime in the past week #thank god i have. issues #i was supposed to be sleeping rn #im trying #and failing #today hasn't been a good day at all #:(

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cayde6feetunder · 6 days

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tfw you agree fully with OP but they push the complains about terms like tme/tma as being ~ transmascs complaining they’re being labelled as tme ~ like terms like tme/tma aren’t disgustingly intersexist and while there are some people who do complain because they’re being labeled “tme” (I may not have ever seen this ever but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility it happens) I and many others don’t fuck with it because it’s fucking intersexist and trying to dismiss that as an actual real issue with the terminology is dishonest. Get real.

#caydeposting #my go to response to ‘are you tme or tma’ is ‘are you intersex or perisex’#edit: I myself should add that I am not intersex myself #I am simply reflecting the words of people who actually are intersex #THAT IS TO SAY do not assume malice out of this or make this into something it very much is not.#like. y’all don’t want to listen to intersex people about it.#so I someone who is perisex will repeat their words in simple terms for you.#and also get better while you’re at it maybe. listen directly to intersex people instead of #considering their thoughts on things ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ unless the exact same thing #comes from the mouth of someone who is perisex.

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wordslikesilver · 2 months

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Seeing the discourse lately on transmisogyny and coming across new terms like tme and tma being used more than I think I’ve ever seen before because of everything going on had me uneasy, not gonna lie, I always do when I find new terminology from the alphabet mafia because I’m thinking to myself oh boy, more stuff to explain to cis people. Looked into it, it all seems pretty reasonable to me tho for including nonbinary femmes and femme intersex people I’ve sorta just always by default assumed “Trans Femme” was really good given the whole “it’s a spectrum and transmisogyny by definition is talking about the people on the femme side of it who didn’t start there” so admittedly I’ll probably be a grump about changing my vocab soon.

But then I see some new shit in the wake of all this TERF nonsense and bigotry being used against trans women? Detransitioned cis women calling themselves trans women and saying WE don’t understand the concept of gender well? The audacity? Look, changing the labels of a community to be less offensive is something I support so loudly and love and adore. This isn’t that. This is people encroaching on our pride and our identities and pretending the flag we nobly fly, the icon of bravery and unifying love in the face of oppression that it is, isn’t clearly “ours” enough. That it’s something they’re allowed to say belongs to them too so we need to come up with something new to call ourselves when we discuss the pain we face in our lives. Erasing and rewording the definitions of who we are til our identity is gone altogether. Moving the goal posts and telling us to teach everyone a whole new set of labels when the average layman still doesn’t even know that “Cis” isn’t a fucking slur, let alone what it means. Never forget that at your core when you fight against this new bigotry and they try to dance circles around you with their words and misdirect the conversation to stupid shit. Alienation from an already unified identity is a classic means of making it so much fucking harder for the oppressed to have their pleas for basic rights be acknowledged. Never let your people’s pain be silenced by someone pretending to they’re too stupid to know who you’re talking about.

To the TERFs and bigots who find this, and I fucking hope you find this, Trans Woman is not yours to fucking claim just because “gender is a construct and complicated” you will NEVER know the pain people like me have been through. I refuse to acknowledge a claim on my people’s identity because someone managed to misunderstand a concept hard enough and it’s now snowballed into a new form of complicating discussions of deserving basic and equal rights. I have felt the pains a cis woman has felt, I have felt sexist and awful treatment from men, I have been catcalled, I have been stalked, I have been made unsafe, I have been expected to be a mother for no other reason than “all women want them one day” and I have been assumed to be less than a man for some imagined frailty of the fairer sex. I am a woman. We can share that label, I WANT to share that label. We can bond over sapphic love and feminine experiences and hardships we both suffer under a cruel patriarchy. In just the same way, I have never known the pain of period cramps. I don’t have a vagina. I will never have a pregnancy scare and I will never feel the side effects of birth control. I wasn’t catcalled by gross men walking home when I was in high school. I was never sexualized by the media when I was in middle school the way cis girls would see happen to them. I am NOT a cis woman and I will never be one. I grew up as a boy, I lived and I loved as a young man, I saw the world through masculine eyes and was raised being treated as one, I will never pretend I know what it’s like to be a young girl being preyed upon and used by an older man. I will never touch that label because it’s simply not correct at the most fundamental level. I am a trans woman and that made me who I am. After all the people I’ve met and all the experiences I’ve shared, it took time to be so proud of calling myself a trans woman. Holding up the sky would’ve taken less strength of the heart, but now I feel the deepest pride knowing I’ve done something inconceivably harder.

But you, you people cannot take that from me and my sisters. I draw the fucking line at saying you think you have the slightest notion of what it’s like to be transfeminine. To be born in a body that makes people see you as a man from the very first glance, to hear you wrong from the first whisper of your voice. To spend the rest of your life working tirelessly in a fight against your own biology and/or the perception of the entire world whenever it casts its ugly eye upon you. Some of us don’t even have the privilege of fighting those perceptions or the things or own bodies have been programmed to force on us. Some of us don’t even want to have to do anything about how we look because it’s bullshit to have to fight for that basic respect from our peers in the first place and their standards just don’t align with who we are deep down in the first place! Gender is complicated but this isn’t. Have you EVER held your breath in the women’s public washroom and tucked your feet in because you were scared you’d make other women uncomfortable, because you’re not sure if you’re in an accepting space? FEARED what might happen if you step into the women’s change room to put on a bathing suit or your work clothes? Have you EVER been threatened with physical violence and called slurs in front of your own mother on public transit? Have you ever had to tell your doctor you’re ready to drop out of school to show how “sure” (re: fucking desperate) you are to be prescribed HRT? Sure, lots of cis women are on HRT, I treat them as patients all the time. Have you ever had a hot flash at the age of 21 because you were late on your injection? Did you pierce your skin with thin metal once a week for years and years to get the breasts you have? Did your body do irreparable things to your bones and your voice that make it so no one will ever see you as a woman at first glance without thousands of hours of effort, of tears, of sheer fucking focus and fixation on achieving the ideal self you see in your mind and dream of being one day? DID YOU HAVE TO BEG YOUR GOVERNMENT TO LET YOU HAVE THE BODY YOU LITERALLY ALREADY HAD AT BIRTH OR DID THEY NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS TRY TO GET IN THE WAY OF JUST BEING CALLED MISS ON YOUR GOD DAMN LICENSE? Cis women can’t even begin to imagine the feelings I have felt, building my wings of feather and bones and wax, day after day, dreaming of flying beside my sisters who were born with wings they’ll never fear will melt, all the while remembering the last time someone born in a body like mine flew too close to the sun. Maybe they’ll perhaps know what it’s like to bind them to their back and hide them beneath their shirt, maybe they’ll even have sheered and ripped the bones from their sockets and one day wish they could have them back and sing with the rest of the angels like they used to, but they will NEVER fly on wings like mine, fear the heat from the light that makes life worth living the way I do, fear the same slings and arrows screaming up through the air from down below and even at times from above my head to let me know loud and clear they wanna knock me outta this sky, this sky that’s so beautiful and holy I cry when I touch it, the very first chance they get.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. My Icarian Wings are made on the foundation of generation after generation of my people who dreamed and yearned to touch the sunlight blue skies and the infinite glittering nights, each of us telling each other, telling ourselves we’ll never fear the light again one day, lifting each other when we fall, soaring higher each time than the ones whose wax melted before we could save them could, warmly teaching each other how to fix our broken wings and freely gifting each other the love it takes to make them stronger for the next flight. Holding each others hands as we dance and show each other how to fly, hand in hand and heart in heart with the angels who call us sister angels. A cis woman having the audacity to flap her never melting wings and saying hers are just like mine, that the name of my people is just a construct so she can say she she’s just like Icarus too, makes me wanna vomit. Pretending she knows what it’s like to watch in terror as all the feathers fall out suddenly in a moment of weakness making her break her bones upon the rocks, listening to everyone around her say “I knew it, I knew his wings were fake, look at him crawl along the ground in the dirt and the mud where he belongs.” Pretending that if two people both have skin, even of a different colour, that since the labels are made up, the sun and society itself will surely treat them the same if the white one calls themselves black.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. Come and fucking try to take these wings from me and see what happens.

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butchfeygela · 2 months

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i hope im proven wrong on the prediction i made w a friend about finnster awhile back, tht if they ever came out as trans, they would instantly loose a Huge portion of her subscribers who were only around bc of how she played into 'haha look how funny guy looks like a girl' (which like to me seems like a really clear way for an egg to be able to present how they want with less of the danger) i hope she continues to grow in popularity and is only rewarded for their bravery bc im sure if it occured to me it occured to her as well

#trans women im sure will have nuanced things to say about leveraging transmisogyny as a closeted tma person and the effect it has on #both the closeted and out tma person and how finnsters content proffitted off of transmisogyny & what impact tht had on trans women #and i will be interested in reading tht but i better not see any other tme people broaching the subject bc in no way were we the harmed #*parties harmed by her content #nikanie

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public-trans-it · 5 months

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Man. I cannot fucking stand the TMA vs TME discourse. There are absolutely valid points within it, but so fucking often it boils down into "Bioessentialism: Tranny Edition" and it fucking SUCKS dude.

I just fucking read a post saying (paraphrased) "TMA people go through a lot of invisible oppression that TME people just aren't capable of noticing" and like.... yeah... sure. Every oppressed group in human history has that issue. But implicit in that statement is always "But I obviously know everything TME people deal with" and like THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

It's so frustrating to hear people make genuinely well thought posts with lots of reasoning and examples backing them up and then ending with "And that's why trans dudes (and nonbinary people without penises) are the problem" like WHAT THE FUCK.

This isnt even a fucking strawman, this is directly about a post I just saw (and quickly unfollowed the author of)

If you genuinely think there are inalienable issues that uniquely apply to only people with penises or vaginas, and never the reverse, and that only they should be voices heard on issues affecting them, then boy howdy you might as well fucking side with the TERFs in my eyes, because you are working from the same damn playbook.

Seriously, look at your damn views and genuinely question, "Am I being bioessentislist with this?" because a lot of people have so clearly not done that.

#TMA/TME discourse #this isnt going to be the last time i fucking rant about this #but jesus christ every time i see it come up its like 'what if the transmeds and terfs teamed up?'#like if someday it turns out this whole thing has been a fucking transmedicalist or terf psyop i will be fucking 0% surprised #especially when the people making this fucking discourse are using the EXACT same recruiting methods as TERFs #like THIS MIGHT JUST BE PARANOIA! I HOPE IT IS JUST PARANOIA!#but so many of you are using the exact arguments TERFs use and I'm increasingly suspicious of where these takes are originating from!#god i should have posted this to blusky instead where i only have like 2 followers and can safely shout into the void #not looking forward to the fucking replies

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puphoods · 10 months

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like it used to be everyone liked + used the terms transfem + transmasc because they were used to broadly discuss the issues that trans people who transitioned/were transitioning physically socially or both shared regardless of things like their actual gender + presentation + stuff like they are very useful terms bc it covered a lot of different experiences that otherwise would leave people excluded in these discussions so i dont understand the push to change them so they mean... literally nothing essentially. "transmasc means ur trans + present masculine anyone can be transmasc" so its just masc...

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gibbearish · 2 months

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anybody else like. dislike the concept of putting the ways youre privileged in your bio in general

#was considering following someone and their bio said 'white american living on indigenous land complicit in genocide'#and its like. dude #that feels like youre just putting a big big flag that says 'LOOK AT ME IM A GOOD WHITE PERSON WHO KNOWS MY PLACE' like #i feel like if youre actually ~one of the good ones~ that should just like. be evident in how you conduct yourself no?#like i dont wanna lend credence to the idea of virtue signalling but. i mean thats literally what that is jabdksbd #thinking abt how every discourse major and minor ive been through has hit some for of 'you MUST put your axis of privilege #in your bio so (oppressed group) can quickly tell if youre speaking over them' and 100% of the time it actually meant #'so (oppressed group) can quickly tell if they can talk over you'#see again that one bnha server that melted down and the ppl who caused the issues were demanding to know everyones ethnicity #and then would aggressively shout at anyone who said white that they werent allowed to talk literally at all #and its like. no youre just using that as an excuse to force people to let you yell at them hello??#insert something here about that post going around saying 'you must have tma or tme in your bio'#like wow yeah no thank you if you want to yell at me you can do so based on the things i say:)#origibberish

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what-wait-why · 2 months

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#oh my god i hate the ''tme/tma'' thing so much #I've rb'd posts articulating this much better than i can and it isn't like. an instant block #but it definitely will discourage my follow #also using 'tme dni' is /really/ fucking weird #like. lesbians asking men not to interact w their sex blogs is just as understandable as gay men asking the same of lesbians!#and it's not a perfect system bc literally anyone who falls outside that dichotomy gets shafted (hah)#but fucking. why /tme dni/. that's so fucking weird #crow.txt

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carrionsong · 2 months

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Transmisogyny is very real, very targeted, and very awful, but I think where ppl are coming from in criticism of the TMA/TME labels, is that it may seem like inventing and reinforcing a different kind of binary in a way when the human experience is very complex. And re: the outing part, I think people sometimes forget even amongst our peers in the queer community, no one is actually entitled to information about someone else's transition, or assigned sex at birth

i dont personally see it as a cut and dry binary when i mentioned that the terms arent perfect bc obviously they dont always include intersex trans peoples experiences And racialized views towards womanhood/what is seen masculine or "man like". its not meant to really be one when these experiences can overlap so often, plus it lumps in cis men / trans men / cis women / afab nonbinary people in one so thats a Hell of a "binary". our experiences Are complex and we dont all live in the us/western world, so we can all have different experiences and still have it be a trans and queer experience that trans and intersex people share! and thats a really good point too! intersex women Do have shared experiences with transfems as people who are degendered and seen as lesser bc of cagab. but we can share experiences and still be transphobic or transmisogynistic to other people. the problem lies with how pervasive and universal transmisogyny is, and how it affects transfems everywhere regardless of where they live. its inescapable!

and i feel like saying that it outs us queer people when the question the terms are asking is, do you experience transmisogyny... is a bit disingenuous. when we are discussing transmisogyny, our cagab and axes of oppression does very much matter. its not a top-down, "im more oppressed than You" kind of thing, but we perpetuate it! even if we share experiences, that doesnt mean we cant still put each other down and be transmisogynistic towards transfems, thats the whole point!

simply put, its language to describe often unique lived experiences that a transfem person has in a patriarchal society where they are subjugated, punished, and killed for being "failed men", and degendered and denied trans womanhood as a result. how transfems are expected to be meek doormats and shoulder our collective societal abuse lest we see them as inherent abusers and rapists bc of their cagab, and how every single thing a transfem does is under scrutiny bc of them being """male-adjacent""" (made a face typing that shit out but its how its seen.) and having to shrink themselves down to a shell of themselves for the Chance to be treated as a person.

its obviously not a cure all term to neatly describe every single experience we as queer people have in a nice little box, but its a Start! we cannot ignore how insanely transmisogynistic society and our online spaces are, so having language to talk about it is important as we expand our understanding of it and critique it along the way! bloomfilters on twitter describes this much better than i can with this thread, i follow her and their transfeminine oppression analyses are super well written and easy to understand and shes super smart and cool :]

#.txt #transmisogyny #tme/tma discussion #thank you anon! its good to bring in other peoples critiques and opinions so we can have better understandings of each others' experiences #bc this definitely isnt meant to be a one size fits all thing yknow? its definitely developing language #but transfems Do often experience things that we as tme people do not. and to take away from the discussion at hand #of transmisogyny instead in how it can affect us too does a disservice to transfems in my opinion.#i will not stop using tme/tma btw. as a tme lesbian its important i continue to speak up about transmisogyny bc transfems are my sisters n #they enrich our community just by being here #and hopefully my image ids are okay! ive never done them before And its a lot of text i know T-T #please let me know if theres anything i need to fix!

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dyketubbo · 1 year

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some of yall really gotta learn to strike a balance w this whole whether or not you should tell people specific things about your queer identity thing. like theres gotta be nuance here 😭 yes you dont Have to tell anyone anything. yes asking someone if theyre afab or amab is invasive. no tme and tma shouldnt be grouped into that and tbh if you really think tme and tma are the new amab and afab then maybe youre apart of the reason transfems feel so uncomfortable talking about transmisogyny

you do not Have to tell anyone anything, especially on the internet. but when it comes into intercommunity discussions.. yeah, theres going to be some information you may have to disclose to help give context to what youre saying and/or to help other minorities feel comfortable. its one thing to discuss antiblackness with another black person, a different thing to discuss antiblackness with a nonblack poc, an entirely different thing to discuss antiblackness with a white man, and an even more different thing to discuss antiblackness with a white woman

so like. yeah im not going to be super upset if some trans girl asks me if im tma if i were to start discussing transmisogyny. its well within that girls right to ask "can i feel comfortable around you? is this going to be a discussion where i know you truly understand me, or a discussion where im going to hope you can understand just the general topic?" and yeah ill say im tme and give her the floor to talk instead. if i were asked out of the blue, and if i werent a person who often talks about queer issues, yes i would say it isnt relevant and im within my right to keep it private. but i do talk about queer issues, and ive talked out against transmisogyny in this community (because theres a fucking lot dont lie to yourselves) so it would be, imo, perfectly fair to ask

and i would hope that, in a discussion about race, a white person wouldnt throw their arms up and complain about how you shouldnt disclose information on the internet and actually its none of my business and im being invasive and gross, just to start talking over me and acting as if they can have more than a simple understanding of the topic of racism vs a deep understanding of how it feels to be a target of racism. if you dont want to disclose whether or not youre tme or tma, then you can stay out of discussions relating to transmisogyny lol context and nuance matters people. but dont just shit on trans women and group them in with actually invasive people ykwim. like i just dont think its a good look

#im not gonna pretend like i perfectly understand transmisogyny and just how important tme and tma are as labels #but by god is it soo tiring sometimes to see people just like shit on this personal thing for transfems that they made to feel-#-more comfortable in the queer community when transmisogyny came up as a discussion topic #mask mews #transmisogyny tw #(<-jic #i can assure you random people on the internet. trans women dont care whats in your pants. thats not the point of the question #pleaaaasssseee think about what words mean im begging yuo #do i have a queer stuff tag. whatever #queer stuff #yes this is bc i saw a post about tme and tma no its not a vague specifically it just reminded me of this discussion #also if any transfems out there want me to take this down bc they feel im speaking over them feel free to ask

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carbonateddelusion · 2 years

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saw someone a while back ago that said smth along the lines of"tme/tma nd afab/amab are are really just a new way to say woman/man to cis people" and that's why I would rather die then include either of those in my bio. why do you need to know whether I'm tme or not. it has nothing to do with me as a person or the art I make. fuck you

#it has no bearing on anything i create or any of my personality #the only reason anybody would WANT to know is so that they can a. be transphobic or b. rope me into an argument #my experience as a trans person DOES color some of my writings. but me being afab or amab has nothing to do with it #it's only the 'trans' part that influences anything. not the 'type of trans'#anyway sorry this just annoys me. feel free to include thrse in UR bio or whatever #i just think they're a bullshit ploy to sex us and invalidate the experiences of transmascs #the only setting in which tme or tma would be relevant would be in a conversation about transmisogyny #rox rumblings #me things

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transylvanianfamilies · 2 years

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there is nothing that can entitle anyone to any information about your gender btw

#more prominent online but also irl #demanding ppl to put their pronouns in their bio or asking their pronouns irl is weird especially if you dont live in a country w gendered #pronouns. like i can tell that you just want to know my gender to make assumptions about me #tme/tma are also not things you need to put in your bio or yourean awful person. they are Tools Of Language to describe struggle transfems #face. not identifiers.#both in real life and online every single detail about your gender should be entirely private and only for you to know unless you decide #you want to share it. its as simple as that. stop buying into bioessentialist culture in the name of trans activism #anyway if you ask for my pronouns ill kill myself in front of you. etc #𖦹

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