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rainbowsky · 2 months

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Anonymous asked: this is why we can’t have nice things.. [redacted]

Speaking of 'this is why we can't have nice things', Anon...

I've closed my inbox to anonymous asks.

Congratulations Anon. After four and a half years of taking anonymous questions from people, yours was the proverbial final straw that broke the horse's back, or whatever that saying is.

Copious swearing under the cut. Prepare yourself for the sound of branches cracking and breaking in the storm.

I can't even begin to imagine why you'd think that is something I would want to see. What the actual fuck? Did it not occur to you that that might be extremely homophobic and distressing for me to see?

I don't know what part of "I don't want to hear any more of this" people don't understand but FFS, I just can't do this anymore.

I'm not here to explain, coddle, comfort or commiserate over hateful statements and badly photoshopped BS toxics are sharing on Twitter, nor am I here to compensate for people's unwillingness to curate their online experience. If I wanted to deal with Twitter BS, I'd be on Twitter.

I'm not here to be a social crutch, either. If a reader has a question about something someone posts on Twitter, they should ask them. They shouldn't come to my blog and send me an anonymous message asking me what someone else meant!

I cannot believe the sheer volume of both of these kinds of asks I get.

THERE IS A REASON I AM NOT ON TWITTER

I take curating my online experience extremely seriously, and I purposely block and avoid all of the worst toxic shit. Especially Twitter, which is a raging cesspool. What point is there in me doing all of that if I can't avoid it anyway because people bring it to my inbox?!?

At the risk of putting my foot in my mouth like WWX, I have to ask, "Who raised you people?"

This all strikes me as really basic stuff, here. Take a few seconds before you send an ask, and reflect!!

Is this something that belongs on another platform? Is there a really good reason why I'm bringing it to this platform?

Is this something rainbowsky wants to hear about?

Is this something rainbowsky has repeatedly, repeatedly told people not to fucking send?

Is this something I should be handling myself by simply blocking and ignoring the person who posted it? Do I really want to play the role of spreading toxic, fucked up lies and garbage farther and wider than where I found it?

Is rainbowsky the right person to ask about this, or should I be asking the person who posted it?

Do I really need to be anonymous for this? Why can't I message rainbowsky privately, or reply in the comments of a post? Why do I want to hide my identity for this simple question or comment? How does being anonymous impact any relationship building or community building that could be happening?

Have I considered rainbowsky's feelings and experience in all of this?

If I haven't taken some basic steps to make this a collaborative, positive, community building experience for rainbowsky, why should he want to post my ask on his blog?

From now on if somebody has a question for me they can damn well do it off Anon. If you don't want me to publish your name say so in your ask and I will respect your wishes, but I will know who you are and you will be accountable to me for what you send. End of fucking story.

Sorry for the bitchiness, please don't take it too personally. I am just really at the end of my tether. My life is stressful enough as it is without having to deal with stuff like this.

#ffs #personal #fandom reflections #twitter is a cesspool #ask

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a-method-in-it · 3 months

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Girl what the hell is that last post you just reblogged.

(((They))) leave out or what.

Have you considered that you just did not pay that much attention during history class, because I learned about many of these things.

Jesus Christ half of that Tweet chain is just antisemtic conspiracy theories with 'zionists' instead of jews, as if that's not something the alt-right has started doing years ago.

Calling jewish people 'white' as if that's what the perception was at the time or makes any sense considering Jewishness is an ethnicity.

Fucking hell. You seemed like a reasonable person for a long time yk. But a claim that the goddamn Holocaust wasn't explicity and overwhelmingly targeting Jews with most others as afterthoughts is insane and history denying.

Literal textbook antisemitism.

Hi --- From the sound of this ask, you're someone who follows me, and as such I wish you hadn't sent this on anon so that I could reply privately, but here goes.

I assume you are talking about this post? That's the closest thing that I can find in my reblogs to what you're describing, though a lot of what you say about it here isn't actually true.

The post does not call Jewish people white --- it says that the way the Holocaust is presented in mainstream education seems designed to portray Jews as perfect white victims who didn't even fight back, which is obviously not true. (The fact that it's not true, including the white part, is what the Twitter user is pointing out.)

It also never claims that the Holocaust was not overwhelmingly targeting Jews, and I honestly don't know where you got that.

Also, I can't speak to where you went to school, but as a middle class white American, I actually was not taught anything in school about the Herero and Nama genocide, the presence of armed Jewish resistance to the Nazis, the fact that Hitler was inspired by the Armenian genocide, and certainly not that he was inspired by the genocide of indigenous peoples in the United States. (I did in high school learn that the Red Army liberated the camps and that people other than Jews were targeted as well, including Romani and disabled people; I have, however, had friends who were surprised to learn this as adults.)

You seem to think this post was criticizing the way that Jewish people talk about the Holocaust, but unless you think that Jewish people are in charge of all education policy (which would be a weird thing to think?) I don't see how you're getting that at all. The post specifies it's about Holocaust education, which I read as the things people are taught in school.

For what it's worth, I have found that Jewish sources of information about the Holocaust are actually less likely to fall into these traps than mainstream American ones, just speaking from my own experience.

I will say I'm not thrilled with the way the Twitter user makes the leap to saying that this type of education is deliberately meant to further zionism. I think that's a stretch. I reblogged it anyway because I thought it was overall making good points. I might wind up deleting it; I certainly take it seriously when something reads to Jewish people as engaging in anti-Semitic tropes, and if you have more to say about why you think this does that, I truly am happy to listen. I don't really see it that way, but as a goy, I often miss things.

But yeah. I feel like this would have been a better convo to have non-publicly, and I wish you hadn't chosen to go the anonymous route. I don't know what to make of statements like "You seemed like a reasonable person for a long time yk." coming from an anonymous ask. Are we mutuals? Have we interacted? Or are you basing this assessment purely on my online presence? Are you treating me like some quasi-public figure because I *checks notes* have a pseudonymous account on the internet's least popular social media site or have I offended someone I know and have some online relationship with?

If you want to send a chat or an ask I can answer privately, I'm happy to keep talking, but if you send another anonymous message, I will not be replying.

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ltleflrt · 1 year

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Helllo 🙂

Alright so the whole ao3 tos violation drama is ongoing on twitter and since your name is somehow what these people are using to legitimise their arguments, I’ll super appreciate it if you could clear up a couple of things for me.

Do you also believe the person they’re calling out is behind this? There doesn’t seem to be much proof about it except for the “everyone knows” and the google doc and some unknown insider. I’ll basically take your word as proof because I trust you.

And second, were any of your fics ever in trouble with ao3 because of this thing? It’s very hard for me to accept ao3 deletes fics because someone in the comments mentions getting a physical copy. The whole spin these people have put on this is just *shakes hands*

Thank you and I’m sorry the trolls try to stop you from making physical copies of your work. Their “well someone’s making profit” sucks!!!

I'm going to preface this with a reminder that I'm not active on Twitter, so I do not know everything that's going on there.

Do I believe the person they're calling out is behind it? Well, I believe she started it. Or at the very least was extremely vocal about her opposition to printed fics in a forum where she whipped up people who respect her opinion into having the same opinions.

I don't have proof. It has been several years since I was targeted, and I did not save receipts. I'm bad enough about doing that with things I buy in the store, so I certainly don't keep track of shit like that for fandom drama. Everyone who attacked me was on anon, and at the time I was naive enough to think it was okay to share my links publicly, so I have no idea who decided to impersonate CW/WB and report me for copyright. (I seriously doubt it was actually someone at CW/WB doing the reporting.) Someone came to me privately at the time and explained that she saw the drama go down in this person's FB group and showed me some screenshots. Here's the first anon message I got about it, and as you can see that was 5 years ago. If you check the comments you can see that someone mentions thinking they knew who it was.

I have also seen a recent screenshot where someone posted pictures of printed fics that they purchased on FB, and she responded negatively to it and said that she didn't think that the author getting zero profit was good enough since Lulu makes a profit. That's basically the same thing she and her groupies were talking about 5 years ago when they were bitching about me, so the tune has not changed in all this time. And during the conversation that followed they were patting themselves on the back for just printing their favorite fics on their home printers instead. That's what set me off on this rant. That screenshot was shared in a private discord server, and I don't intend to make it public. There are people in that FB group who don't share that person's views, and they'd like to remain anonymous.

So back to the original question. Do I think she's behind it? Yes. I've seen her name on things. And I've also seen how she has a little group of super-fans who take her opinions to heart without actually thinking about it very hard.

After the anons jumped all over me several years ago and reported my Lulu account, I just created a new account and moved on with my life after that, and am more careful about letting people buy prints than I was in the beginning. (I also stopped doing free giveaway drawings, because I didn't want to risk an unknown hater getting a free copy. Fuck them.) I didn't call anyone out, and just kept things to myself. However, when another author friend of mine had a similar experience a few years later, we compared notes and found that it was the same person whipping up outrage. My friend happens to be active in the FB group, where I am not, so she sees more of the drama there. Based on the fact that she told me the name, and I was like "oooh that person", I'm inclined to believe my friend about what she witnessed.

Any time I see another author deciding to make their prints available, I make sure to warn them about keeping their info secure, and that's the extent to which I generally get involved. Unless someone asks me about it privately, then I'll name names.

On to your second question. I have not been reported for anything on AO3 (yet, *crosses fingers*, cuz the trolls try really really really hard to punish those they disagree with). I don't think I've mentioned my printed fics in any comments. I had it in my profile for a while, with all in caps ZERO PROFIT to cover my bases, but eventually took it out to be better safe than sorry.

I'm speculating, but I suspect the AO3 reporting might have gained traction because one author got sick of having their Lulu account get stealth reported (because the trolls will pretend to be your friend and will pay actual dollars to access the links in order to report them), so they made their own website. They order the books in bulk, and then take orders through their direct website. Due to this, it's nearly impossible for them to avoid some kind of profit, due to being unable to accurately determine how much everything is going to cost to the penny, so they round up a little to make sure everything is covered. It's possible (again, SPECULATION), AO3 went ah that's the Forbidden Profit, and slammed the ban-hammer down.

Another author eventually rewrote one of their fics as an original and is selling it. I don't know if their AO3 got reported too, but that might be a potential connection to profit as well. I do know that when I first started getting angry anons 5 years ago, a few of them didn't like the idea of filing off the serial numbers of an AU and selling it as original fiction either. So it wouldn't surprise me if the Reporting Trolls still conflate Fic For Profit and Fic Rewritten As Original For Profit and went on an AO3 reporting spree for that author too, even though the situation is slightly different.

I don't work for AO3, I don't know what they're specifically looking for. But I do believe they'll delete a fic if they find something against their TOS. But I also think they're not going through it with a fine tooth comb until Reporting Trolls do it for them and find the teensiest scraps of evidence to supply them.

My take on all of that is that I hate everyone who disagrees with zero-profit fic prints, and I hope they all develop a nasty, incurable toe fungus. And until I see that one person who I believe is the ringleader of the anti campaign go "y'know what I changed my mind, here's my fic printed on Lulu too!" I'm going to think she's sus based on the screenshots I've seen and the conversations I've had with people in her FB group.

Also, why do you need proof? What's your stake in all of this? Are you planning on printing your fics and want to avoid drama? If yes, just keep it off FB. If no, then why does it matter? Continue reading that person's fic if you enjoy it, and ignore the drama. Don't report your fellow fans for zero-profit fic prints.

Anyway, I hope this answers your questions. Feel free to come off anon and message me privately about it, and I'll be a little less vague. I still don't have any proof if you want it, but I'm happy to talk about it with people.

Edit: the "you" in the proof paragraph isn't necessarily You, Nonny. I'm sorry, my brain got pissy at hypothetical requests for proof and I got carried away lol...

#ltleramblings #anonymous #reply #printed fics #fandom drama #fandom wank

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atypicalbipolar · 19 hours

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Mental Health Month posts from Facebook (because sharing multi year posts suck)

2023

So is it Mental Health Awareness Month? Or could it be Mental Health Acceptance Month? I guess it's a matter of education. But I was inspired by the fact that April is Autism Acceptance Month. I don't know if the sentiment is the same.

* I am out at work as much as I feel comfortable. I lead an internal DEI group and we introduce ourselves each meeting using roles outside of work. I'm a queer person who uses They/She pronouns and I'm a peer with lived mental health experience. My boss and a couple coworkers know I'm a presenter for In Our Own Voice because I invited them to present for June's DEI meeting. But I am NOT comfortable sharing my diagnosis to work (minus my friend) and I can't present myself sadly.

* About this time last year I volunteered to be a 'tech buddy' DBSA is STILL USING ZOOM. This is good for me because the commute home from Belmont after 9pm would be unbearable. Tech Buddies are the zoom host, and help take attendance and manage the speakers queue with raised hands. Going to DBSA let me know I'm not alone in a way I hadn't experienced before.

* My individual gave up her office early on in COVID and is permanently virtual. My group therapist retired in July and I had to say good bye on zoom. His replacement is private pay, but I'm using FSA funds to justify it. I started seeing my Psychiatrist in person only for him to retire 6 months after group did! I'm currently without a prescriber for the 3 time since 2016. Charlestown MGH is overloaded with patients and understaffed. The one difference this time is that I'm stable.

* I'm still running, but I started stressing about it in October, and I think my COVID bout (which was mild) is still impacting my performance. My photo a day streak is STRONG. I even called into a podcast who was doing an episode on "what works for me" because it really does help me get out the house. That and obsessing over step counts.

I enjoy making mental health content during May, but I feel like I'd just be repeating myself this month. Enough has changed from last year to write out this post. If you're still reading I bet you're very aware and I hope you're even accepting at this point.

2022

Mental Health Awareness Month is here again and I'll be posting for the third year.

In a perfect world I could be out on my public twitter. In a perfect world I could disclose online without any fear that come next job hunt, someone in HR will find that and take a pass on me. In a perfect world I could disclose at work even though I don't need any accommodations. It's not a uniform system but I've cobbled together fb, instagram, and my anonymous bipolar twitter account as safe spaces to share. I'm trying to feel less segmented but it's difficult when real world repercussions are a possibility.

Still zooming with NAMI's In Our Own Voice. They're starting to get in person presentations but it's just easier for me logistically to stay virtual. I've zoomed with plenty of places I'd never be able to get to in person.

This time last year I joined DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) Boston, a peer led org that hosts support groups. I'm busy Wednesday nights zooming with the "Young" Adults group. A bunch of millennials and gen z folks using their lived experience as shorthand to bond. It's meant a lot to me and I'm walking with team DBSA for this year's NAMI Walk.

Covid still drags on. Last couple of Mays I wrote that I was glad I had Bipolar. And it's still true. My toolbox of coping skills is flush with things I knew, like taking baths with epsom salt, and things I've learned during the pandemic, like how I developed a running habit. My take a photo a day streak inspires me to get outside. And perhaps most importantly I can still see my prescriber, my individual and my group therapists remotely.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. You're probably very aware at this point.

2021

I’m taking part in Mental Health Awareness Month again. I am still not out on Twitter*. I still cannot publicly disclose my bipolar, or even just 'mental illness' on an account with my full name for fear of personal and professional repercussions. In these kinds of spaces, it is much easier to navigate out as queer than out as bipolar. *This January I started an alternate anonymous twitter account so I can better engage with the neurodivergent, disabled and mental illness communities. (You'd be surprised at how much those overlap)

Before all of this began, I signed up NAMI's In Our Own Voice. You’ve probably heard about it whenever I mentioned the NAMI Walks I’m doing in a few weeks. We started zooming in August and I want to say it was one of the best decisions I made in terms of advocacy and stigma busting. I have presented to different groups, college nursing classes, one of the inpatient units at McLean Hospital, and several groups of Family to Family, the program mom took 15 years ago when I was initially diagnosed.

After over a year of Covid, I'm still GLAD I’m Bipolar. There's a collective mental health flare happening right now. But I have my diagnosis, meds, my therapy, and coping skills. I have a toolbox of things to try when I am stressed out or sliding backwards. And perhaps most importantly I have established relationships with my individual, group and my prescriber. I am so lucky that I've been able to see them remotely.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. Now you're probably even more aware.

2020

Mental Health Month Post: I realized something: I am not out on Twitter. I can not publicly disclose my bipolar, or even just 'mental illness' for fear of personal and professional repercussions. I am more out in my queerness than in my mental health struggles. How ironic is that? I wish things were different.

When I signed up NAMI's In Our Own Voice, I was hoping to use it as a tool for greater advocacy but also to increase my "outness" as a bipolar person. Even though the training was Presidents Day Weekend, I never thought that a pandemic would put all presentations on hold.

Sure I participate in chronic illness (disability) twitter and will 'flirt' with outing myself. If you read behind the lines, check who I follow and talk to, you may be able to out me. But I talk about my crohns and humira, not lithium, and I leave therapy to my journal on patientslikeme.

But at a time like this I'm actually GLAD I am Bipolar. There's going to be a mental health flare when Covid starts to wind down. But I already have my diagnosis, meds, my therapy, and coping skills. I already have a toolbox of things to try when I am stressed out or sliding backwards. And perhaps most importantly I already have established relationships with my individual, group and my prescriber.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. Now you're probably more aware.

#mental health month

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synonymouswithanonymous · 1 month

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just for fun!

Thoughts, opinions, and a just for fun timeline. Google and a couple tumblr rabbit holes later....disclaimer lots of rumors with receipts for rumors.

I too find it weird that the same people talking about Johanne used to describe MK, Rikke, and Fanny the same exact way. Down to the same wording. Except they used to go after MK'S tattoos like they're a bad thing. People were awful about her, and the rest. Now Johanne and his family and friends are getting it too.

Now they act like a friendship, spanning 7 years, is something "more" bc he likes her posts. Lol I bet he likes a lot of people's/friends posts, guys and girls. Probably a lot of private accounts too bc a lot of his friends went private bc people kept posting his friends' videos and pics. I don't understand why he can't like any of the accounts he follows without it causing a stir. Lol liking a post isn't a big deal lol. People can be friends, it's not like he doesn't have TON of female friends lol. I doubt he's still pining for her, and probably hasn't for a long long time.

It's not like he hasn't dated since or before (Olivia who rejected him supposedly 2017).

And he's older now and probably has sown his wild oats and wants to settle down with the woman he loves (Johanne). And I think, personal opinion, that now he has someone who matches him, loves him as he is, and let's him be just who he is. All goofy funny husky puppy energy Alex. That's great imo.

Busy boy in 2018.😂😂😃😃 he was young.

Short timeline with receipts:

Threesome rumors:

Jan 13-14 2018

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

instagram

People were also posting about topless photos of Gee with Alex. They're deleted now.

· Mar 9, 2018When she finally responds to your desperate love letter text that you know she opened 35 min.… twitter (while in England)

Strange tea about Alex, take with grain of salt etc

May 17 '18#1310

"Does anyone follow Alex H. on instagram? His story yesterday so much cringe, or the hashtag #phatasswhitegirl = Alicia A. :eyeroll: she's the white girl that has fame for being a white girl with a big ass after that scene with Ivar, trying to get her attention alluding her? she's way out of your league, kid."

"He is a creep, he follows her even on spotify when she goes under a secret username but she doesn't follow him back :rofl: smart girl."

Lipstick alley source (I google alex hogh gee hirst threesome and it popped up, the above links. And quote/gossip came from there.)

May 29, 2018 the weekend/pics he took of MK were posted. Cryptic post from her around this timeframe.

Jun 17, 2018 alex hogh with rikke westi red carpet its official twitter:

"Alex Høgh with Rikke Westi via alexhoeghandersen: "Rikke has always been too cool for school, but now it’s official. Watch out. She’s special. Huge congratulations my friend"

August 20th, 2018, Anonymous asked:

"What kind of relationship is there between Alex Høgh Andersen and Mary Kate Slattery???"

"As far as I know they are friends. For a hot minute I thought there might be something but that passed"

So they stayed friends it seems. Maybe they just realized they're better as friends? Maybe the rejection was mutual after all? Maybe he wasn't trying to be serious, just seeing how it goes? Or vice versa we will never know. Good for them. That's mature to stay friends. 😊 Her boyfriend type seems different from Alex. Not a bad thing to each their own.

Late 2018-2020 he dated a few others, one I think named Kaja? I've researched enough for a day. 😆 😆 there were blondes and brunettes, several women, one at the Zulu awards. One sitting on his lap at distortion which was posted on tumblr May 30, 2019 (edited to fix date).

That twitter/x post and IG posts don't seem to be focused so much on privacy. As some claim he's all about, I've always thought he was only private when he wanted to be. That's his choice. 😊😊 So I'm still not getting how Johanne ever "violated" his privacy.

So MK only likes his RC posts/posts that have Johanne in them. That's sweet she probably LIKES Johanne too. She's probably happy for her friend.

Seems like what friends do to me! Like posts and Support each other and be happy for each other. 😊😊😊

Another long post, but as ever don't expect it to be read. Just want to say what I want to say. 😊😊😊

PS I don't think it's weird that he's dated around before finding someone serious. You gotta shop around, see how the "clothes" fit before you buy them. Dating is what people do before they find their match. You gotta figure out what you like/want/need and what you don't like/want/need.😃

#alex høgh andersen #johanne milland #Instagram

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muzzleroars · 5 years

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A lot of ppl did agreed Akira had the most personality thus far of the silent protags but after p5a came out it seems like the fandom latched on to that version and now says he has no personality which annoys me

GOD YEAH.............the cardboard/soft characterization of him got widespread after the anime aired and it’s honestly one of the reasons i’m hugely bitter toward it. like. if it had just been a mediocre anime of the game, i would have been disappointed but just shrugged it off and moved on. but it brought this characterization of akira along with it that a lot of newer fans latched onto and, since the older fans disliked the anime and since many have moved on to other fandoms by now, i see that nervous/dorky variant of joker a lot more than i used to and, to me, a lot more than the cocky, suave variant that used to permeate the fandom idea of him. so many people got such a strong idea of him from playing the game, but i think as people move into different fandoms, new people are introduced to it through the anime, and older fans that have stuck around haven’t played the game in a year or two, this idea that he’s boring/meek has sort of taken over.

i hope with p5r coming out and the game itself getting a second go people will migrate back to the original perceptions many fans had of him, but i’m cautiously optimistic since royal seems be taking cues from the anime and i’m actually worried about his characterization despite being a silent protag. that being said though, i don’t think atlus had much to do with the anime and if we actually look at the things being added, it doesn’t seem too bad in context - new locations in the game which is just general expansion, goro’s character being expanded upon greatly is something fans have demanded since the game came out and is certainly not the idea of the anime, and the thieves acting more like friends was also something a lot of people have wanted to see from p5 for awhile. the anime did these things too, but most were fan complaints that the anime catered to and new locations that were going to be implemented in p5r were given a sneak peak in poj to get people excited for them. and given that akira’s character in other game spin-offs has remained consistent, like in p5d and pq2, i’m going to trust that atlus will continue to write him as they did in vanilla p5.

and as always, just the general disclaimer: since akira is a silent protag, people are totally free to characterize him however they choose for the most part. you can pull a lot of different ideas about him from the game, and it’s fine if you did like the anime interpretation and want to play with his character that way. this is more just a vent about feeling sort of isolated with my own interpretation as it used to be common but now is used less and less/not being seen as “canon”. i don’t want this taken as me being annoyed that individual people choose to view him this way or that they’re wrong in any sense - they’re totally not because he’s fictional! any characterization is valid tbh and i would never want to make fans feel hurt by saying any of this. i just personally don’t see him that way and it can feel kind of lonely when so many people in the fandom do. SO i’m v grateful to everyone that’s come to my inbox or replied to any of these posts with their agreement/support. i’m so glad there’s still a decent community of people that feel the same way i do and let’s hope the royal gives us something to look forward to!

#as a head's up i will absolutely be spoiling myself for p5r #i won't post spoilers whatsoever #but if ppl what to dm me about it feel free bc i'll be keeping up on it #there's just no way i can sit in the dark about p5 for months #otherwise i might create a private twitter account for it #i'm SURE i'll have things to yell about #both good and bad hhhhh #it's so soon y'all.....#prayer circle that yaldabaoth continues to be the big bad #prayer circle that akira maintains a consistent character #p5 #akira kurusu #akira thots #Anonymous

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burnedbyshoto · 3 years

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So I'm not trying to shame you. I have an app on my phone that let's me see what my daughter looks at online. She is fully aware of it. I just wish there was a way for you to make sure kids not of age can't see this. I know it's up to parents too. But it's difficult to try and stop my child from looking at this stuff. If you have any suggestions. She already feels like I'm invading her privacy.

hello mother of a follower, it’s nice to meet you, although in very, very strange circumstances if I must admit. so, a little background information on tumblr and my tumblr in specific!

tumblr is a very anonymous app if you want it to be. not only does each profile allow you to remain anonymous for all eternity, it’s a very “socially unfavorable” app meaning that most of the time you really don’t want you name tagged to your blog. I don’t know why, past reputations probably. due to the programming of tumblr, one thing it is incapable of doing — unlike twitter, tiktok, facebook, or instagram — is truly locking or privating accounts.

if someone wants to follow me, they can should they find my profile. so, clearly your child found my account.

I would like to point out that we can block profiles which prohibits profiles from viewing my page, but this does not stop them from hopping onto safari or whatever search engine and viewing my page. not only that but I do not block minors — i’m assuming your child is a minor in this case — because with someone with 25k+ followers that is continuously growing every day, I simply do not have the mental or emotional energy to track every single one of my followers age. I know there are some blogs who do such thing, but I do not because well... i’ll never get to the bottom of it.

I block minors when they are blatantly being minors in my eyes aka commenting or asking me something that includes their age. otherwise I do not interact with them as I fully expect them to not interact with me. as you can see via my blog header I am an “18+ blog minors dni” as a warning to them. I wish I could stop minors from reading and being on my blog, but I can’t. but it’s a warning so that if minors come onto my blog, they know they should not be here.

it may not be in my place, but I had overly strict parents myself. as a mexican daughter of immigrants my parents read and watched over everything I did before I turned 18 (they even used to read my text messages and would get angry about things i’d say even though they would tell me every day they would never read my texts) and they sort of do it still even though i’m 21. although I understand reasoning behind invasion of privacy of your child because I know it’s done with best of intentions, realize that even if it is your child, they deserve their own privacy. & hey it seems they’re just reading stories about fluff, smut, and angst about fictional boys — a step up from getting involved with drugs, sex, or whatever weird things you might believe minors be doing or could be doing.

what i think you need to do with your child, most importantly, is just talk with them. maybe you didn’t experience is as a minor, but take my own experience that we do at times feel horny and such. have the sex talk, have a progressive and open conversation with your child without shooting them down or making them feel bad about their very real and human feelings and temptations. discuss about how the things they read on my blog is not realistic — as any form of media is — but remember that you should never shame them for indulging on their sorts of entertainment.

I mean, I get it! if I was a parent and my child was reading erotica i’d freak out too because what do you do??? but also I know that it’s human and part of growing. I also know that if you shut it down and belittle or shame them, it will hurt them more than anything else. just have a discussion about healthy and safe sex if it’s the smut you’re concerned about, but that’s as far as I can help you. because if you’re unable to view your child as a human being that is growing up feeling how you did and maybe feelings in some areas more than others, you’ll hurt your relationship.

be a parent, but also be a human being and see your child as such too because one day they won’t be a minor anymore and there’s something they may or may not forgive you for. and if it’s too much for you then, maybe reconsider this privacy thing on your own end and maybe stop looking at what they do on their phone and trust that they’re making safe and healthy decisions because well... it sort of is an invasion of privacy. is your child allowed to view everything you look up on the internet? they’re communicating to you that they feel that your overstepping their boundaries & now you’re asking me to do something so that you can continue to enforce your restrictions on them. i mean, yes, i don’t want minors on my blog, but this is not the way to get minors to stop indulging into their more sexual feelings and emotions. strict parents breed mischievous kids and kids who don’t want anything to do with their parents once they taste freedom. be open. be charastimatic and empathic and realize that your child needs their privacy to indulge in their wants and needs without you being weirded out by it. educate your child but don’t destroy a happy spot for them.

it might mean nothing to you, but I promise you that a minor reading fanficition/being obsessed with fictional characters is not a bad thing or a crazy thing. i’m still relatively normal :) good luck, and I hope I neither offended or overstepped.

#lyssa doesnt shut up

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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One part of fandom that interests me is how different cultures have different rules and standards for interacting with each other on the internet. For instance in the fandom I'm in (and probably for other fandoms) it is considered rude on twitter to reply with any comments to art that Japanese artists post. (Especially in English, there is also a language barrier there)

Sometimes people get too many followers and they delete and start over. Posting for feedback/validation is not a huge thing in Japanese fandom culture like it is in the English speaking/western/largely US culture. (to clarify I don't want to make sweeping generalizations, and I can only speak with somewhat confidence for the fandom I'm in)

To be honest I think that is a healthier approach than valuing oneself by follower count and likes and praise, or at least seeking that out or falling into obsessing over it. Which is something that I personally can fall into, and I wonder if it's part of the (broadly speaking) western culture of hustle! become famous! and follower count and likes = your social status.

I sometimes do want to start over or just make everything anonymous even though I have made some acquaintances. I get the urge to share parts of my life and also to keep it private and hidden from the internet. It is like the tenuous internet friends I have made aren't that strong and ultimately leave me wishing for more but at the same time I crave anonymity and that is at ends with requirements for friendship (intimacy, honesty). Of course, you can keep your discussions to shared interests, but I always find myself wanting to share personal things and wonder about the other person but it feels like an invasion to ask. (Like mention things in my life that could give away who I am- like where I live, what kind of school I went to, my job, ect.)

This is a longwinded way to ask how you have navigated internet friendships and also anonymity (which I know you aren't anonymous/pseudonymous here but was there a moment when you were in fandom or online?) And also I am interested if you have any observations on how different cultures in fandom interact (which I suppose I could be asking about BTS), particularly in regard to how people treat comments/feedback/interaction between each other.

Western hustle culture is definitely real, but it's somewhat generational or at least one of a number of fandom subcultures. The big conflict I feel is between preservation of what some fans see as our collective history and the feeling of the most involved fans that it was just the private business of them and their friends, not "history".

As for me... haha. Uh... I was using Usenet in the 90s at a time when most people there were using university emails or work emails. My stepdad got me my own email for my 13th birthday in 1994. (Yes, the same email I still have now.) Since he worked at a university, he did the first initial lastname thing. I was never at all pseudonymous. Indeed, my first name was identifying on the 90s internet. There were two of us total with this name. On the entire internet as far as I can tell. Two.

I remember thinking "Oh well, I'll never be a politician or teach kids anyway!" I was conscious even then of not wanting my choices curtailed by a job I could be ratted out to.

I'm a pretty trusting person, probably because I don't have anybody you can rat me out to. My mom knew my fandom accounts. I assume she didn't read my porn, but who knows. Also, she's dead, so good luck getting hold of her. But anyway, I'm a fairly trusting person, and I still don't share really sensitive info with fans I know only online usually. My closer friends are people I know offline who live around here. We're talking weekly dinner party friends. Might one of them do something shitty? Sure, but so might I. Human interaction is a gamble.

I have lots of other tiers of geek friends from people I know from cons to people I know online but whom I have lots of 1:1 private conversations with to people who reblog me with good comments whom I hopefully recognize the icons of. I'm pretty bad with screennames, so it's a crapshoot whether I'll really remember someone as a distinct individual without a lot of reinforcement.

I've met people online whom I ended up trusting enough to talk about shit I didn't want screenshotted. Ms. Boba for example. But that's not super common even for me and usually requires someone who publicly goes to bat for problematic shit. That kind of open commitment to unpopular principles makes me less nervous about them being a two-faced backstabber.

It also helps if I know I'm going to eventually meet them offline or we have offline friends in common.

So on the one hand, yeah, you're going to have to loosen up if you want intimacy...

But on the other hand, a lot of fandom people I see seeking that kind of intimacy pick people they know nothing about. It's a 2-year twitter history of liking the same shows as you with no hint about who they are as a person. That person can burn it all down and run away with little penalty.

There are plenty of fandom Olds I don't know that well personally but whose pseuds I've seen around for literal decades. They're unlikely to catfish someone for the lulz or whatever. Abandoning a fannish identity of that age is a big step, so they're not going to do something so heinous they have to start over. Of course, that doesn't preclude them doing something you'd dislike that they feel is morally justified, nor does it preclude them having poor mental health. That's just life and human interaction.

I think a lot of people's close fandom friendships have come from workshopping fic 1:1 in private with a co-writer or beta. You could do that with any art or project. You could try something like that if you want to get to know people.

(My own experience won't be useful. I'm very offline first. I meet people at fandom meetups. My OKC profile made it super obvious I'm into fanfic. I care more about the ability to hang out offline and people having my general attitude towards fiction and fandom than about sharing specific fandoms.)

People treat comments and interaction all kinds of ways. Some of it might be broad subculture things, but a lot of it feels individual to me: some writers are very self-absorbed and see comments as not only their due but a measure of their self worth and people's interest in them as a human being.

Some people treat any interaction, including fic comments, as a potential time to meet a new fandom friend. I tend to meet online friends through meta discussion on tumblr, not through fic comments.

I don't know if BTS is specifically different. Honestly, a lot of my interaction with that massive, massive, massive fandom is passively reading fic on my kindle and talking to preexisting friends who keep up with the full firehose of official BTS content better than I do.

I'd say that overall, it's mostly English speakers who feel entitled to leave own-language comments on foreign-language fan stuff, but I've occasionally seen this behavior from others. Usually, it's the opposite: I remember some Spanish speakers asking if it would be all right for them to comment in Spanish on my stuff—like with the implication that they were being rude, which is hilarious to me. I love having a reason to practice Spanish. The more fluent someone is in English, the more they tend to just use that rather than deal with other people's faily attempts in their native language and rather than expecting the massive population of EFL speakers to agree on some other common language for fandom shit.

Uh... I'm not coming to any useful conclusion and I want to post this before tumblr manages to eat it.

Anyway, open up if you want actual friends... but pick carefully. They need to fit your vibe and your actual values more than your shipping preferences. Don't share personal info with insecure little drips who will try to tattle on you for liking Bad Ships the minute your "friendship" sours.

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angeloncewas · 2 years

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All of the asks regarding the BBH situation are answered under the cut - I know we've gotten a resolution, but I felt like a lot of the things y'all brought up were worth talking about, so -

Both avenues feel like such a slippery slope.

If you blindly believe, you risk situations like this one, where a person was lying for the "fun" of it. Now, not only do they create problems for Bad, the community, and any theoretical victims who do try to genuinely come forward via the burner-account method, but they've also provided another instance that horrible people will point at and say "look ! they lie all the time !" It makes it worse for everyone when people pull awful shit like this and it wouldn't carry that weight if people had looked at it through a more critical lens. That's just the fact of the matter.

But on the other hand, being "critical" of a victim's account is so often what those awful people do. Why did you do [x], why didn't you [y], there's this one fault in your recount of your traumatic memory so clearly you're just trying to ruin this person's life - I have no idea what happened with the accusations leveled against Jake Paul, but his fans "criticized" it to pieces despite me and many others finding it to be both "credible" and horrifying. I know it's a risk, but I can't in good conscience not shoot straight for belief, y'know? And I think that's why so many people do the same thing.

(I'm rambling a bit - you're obviously correct for this case specifically - they claimed to be kids just "joking" and I don't even wanna get started with that because it pisses me off.)

I don't know if I never knew about the SBI burner thread or if my mind deemed it so stupid that it threw it out for me in my sleep, but wow. I know what you mean - burner threads as a whole are some weird practice that I don't quite understand. I mean, I get that it's for anonymity, but the way they pick up on Twitter is just... crazy. Idk.

The way Twitter persists is just awful. Like, it's common fucking sense that you don't make false accusations for a million reasons. It shouldn't even need to be said. And yet Twitter just runs with it and some of them still make shitty, weird comments about creators like Phil and H just because they don't like them.

I tend to hate the "get kids offline" battle cry by mostly annoying people, but there's really something about their mindset and attitude that has to be remedied by something Twitter is not gonna give them. Ugh.

The gaslighting thing was RIDICULOUS. I was trying to be more neutral about it when the accusations were still up in the air but now that they're very much confirmed to be a "troll" (quoted with disgust) I feel qualified to say that anyone who called BBH's responsible "threat" of legal action "gaslighting" has clearly never been gaslit in their life (and good for you, but stop acting like you know what you're talking about then). As anon 2 said, if he intended to silence the victim it would have made much more sense to threaten legal action privately (and I know that the person's DMs were off, but the point is that a public statement like he made draws very quick and clear attention to both him and the accusations leveled against him).

Anon 1's advice is very pertinent (though it didn't wind up coming into play here) - always always always be careful of what you're clicking on, especially when sent to you by strangers. A person could've linked "proof" of the situation in DMs that was actually something that collects your personal info (for example) and while that sounds harsh considering the nature of the accusations, it's a reality we have to deal with online. Staying safe is a lot of things when it comes to the internet.

There's a lot that goes into this, so I'll try my best to be concise.

People are overwhelmingly superficial. It reminds me a bit (if you'll pardon the odd comparison) of that post that went around a bit ago talking about how fat gay men are more often painted as creeps while fucked up twinks slide on by purely because of the way they're perceived by society. I'm not saying that BBH is gay or fat, but I will say that he's probably not "conventionally attractive," especially when it comes to "influencers" and so I see comments like those more than I should (which is never, but even more than from the expected odd weirdo). It's just awful; as though you can tell what a person's like simply based on surface-level characteristics like that. Many abusive/dangerous/etc people play up and off of the way they're considered attractive because of shit like that.

I also saw people saying that they "always suspected" because he's "childish" and it's "weird" - I know he has whimsy, but BBH has always stuck out to me as very clearly an older member of the MCYT community so the whole situation just felt off and wrong to me. (And that's not even discussing the way "we always knew" type language is damaging toward everyone involved... yeah, it's just fucked up.)

#angel answers #anon #jikishi tw #grooming tw #sa tw #discourse #negative #mcyttwt critical #ask to tag #you dont have to read this obvs and im sorry for not getting to them while they were relevant but i appreciate them all a ton /gen

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emma-what-son · 3 years

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(Echee post) Emma Watson has stalkers and a bodyguard

Posted on March 23 2014

From dailymail.co.uk March 2014, "Harry Potter star Emma Watson has hired a former NYPD officer as a bodyguard to protect her from obsessed stalkers. The actress – thought to be worth £23 million – is believed to be paying the female officer £90,000 a year after a number of incidents of threatening behaviour towards her. The latest came as Emma, 23, right, was working on her new movie Noah, when an over-zealous ‘fan’ duped studio security staff and got on to the set. Emma, was left screaming, believing she was in danger, and filming had to stop. The British actress, who played Hermione Granger in the Potter films, is now constantly shadowed by blonde former New York Police Department officer Denise Morrone. A source said: ‘The one person Emma is never without is Denise. 'Emma has had problems with stalkers in the past and, because of her wealth, there is always the threat of kidnap. 'She pays for her bodyguard out of her own pocket and Denise accompanies her everywhere, even when Emma is out for dinner. Denise is always there, making sure she is safe.’ Another source said: ‘Denise is on high alert for one particular stalker who tracked Emma down on the set of her latest film. ‘She is very discreet and very good at her job. She is always there looking after Emma, but you wouldn’t know. ‘She makes sure Emma has plenty of space and freedom. If they are at dinner, Denise is part of the gathering, but is always on duty.’ The new arrangement marks a departure for Emma, who has seemed determined to try to live a low-key, normal private life unencumbered by a security detail. Post-Potter she went to Brown University in Rhode Island, New England, and Worcester College, Oxford, to study for a degree. When she has appeared in public she has had no visible entourage. A spokesman for Miss Watson, who has homes in London and New York, declined to comment." ^That's what the dailymail says but here below is what Emma said at the time.

From fansshare.com October 2012, "There was a lot of fuss made recently about the fact that a man who has been stalking Emma Watson managed to get onto her set before being chased off into the woods. It was claimed that Emma was terrified by the incident and feared for her safety. However, it appears that the claims were not true, as Emma has spoken out about the “incident” stating that nothing of the sort happened. Emma felt that she needed to let everybody know what’s what and hoped to clear up any confusion about the stalker situation. Watson took to her official Twitter account to say, “Ok. Few things to clear up. I was not terrified by a stalker in the woods. And he was not fought off by martial arts experts.#whowrotethisstory”. I don't get this DM article because Emma has had this bodyguard for ten years. I think this might be a great big dose of media sensationalism or maybe a planted story so everyone will go, "Aww poor Emma" because she has said some really dumb things lately. I've seen photos of Denise (the older blonde lady we always see her with) with Emma as far back as 2005 Here they are outside the Regis and Kelly show (USA) in 2005 and to the right currently in 2014

^She still looks 15 doesn't she? I've seen one or two candids of Denise with Emma at Brown. I've read an article from a Brown website (thank anonymous for tipping me off) where they were talking about her bodyguards on campus that followed her around. Here's Emma, some guy and Denise at Brown in the fall of 2010 (I can't find the others)

Here she is talking about stalkers in her GQ interview from last year From gq-magazine.co.uk May 2013, "Did you have stalkers? 'Yes. I do have people who show up from time to time in different parts of the world. I've never really known how to respond; I've never really known if I should be afraid or not. This is how I put it into perspective: thousands of women all over the world have to deal with feeling afraid when they walk home from the Tube, on their way to work, when they go out for a drink. Feeling not safe isn't something that is singular to me or my experience as a woman, and I don't think any of these people mean me any harm. They just tend to be people caught up, who don't really realise what they are doing, and I think it is very important that I don't allow it to isolate me further, to be another reason why I shouldn't go out and meet people or walk down the street. Weird guys sometimes take it too far, and that is it. I just keep a friend with me. I don't have a full-time security guard or anything like that. Even at university I went everywhere completely alone, which looking back was probably a pretty ambitious thing that I tried to do there, but somehow I got away with it. There were times when I did feel stressed and anxious and could probably have done with a bit more support. At the same time I would rather make my own mistakes and learn what I need. I think it is so easy when you get famous to just disengage from having a life and that can make some things really dangerous.'" Remember she told rookie magazine she used to lie about walking to places but had a car waiting for her? She was trying to make it seem she has this normal life. I reckon this could be another little white lie about not having a full-time guard because we've seen Denise with her for years. She's the woman that pushes people away and pulls her from signing autographs and even refuses people. How about other instances like Glastonbury where that big muscular man tailed her everywhere. At airports when Denise is not there she has men which looks to be bodyguards to me. When she went to the Box Night Club she had a bodyguard. They're rare shots because most candids are just of Emma and Denise or Emma and a friend or boyfriend. You really think Emma travels alone? For example

Last photo from 2011: Check this out and seethe altercation You rarely catch her bodyguards photographed other than Denise who looks more than just a bodyguard. I think she's more like a bodyguard/assistant. I bet they are always around but you wouldn't know it. I'd go as far as saying they probably follow her from a distance to make it seem like she's really by herself. Here's something she said in 2009 and it was really stupid From wonderwall.msn.com July 2009 (interview with Dan, Rupert and Emma. she started brown in Sept 09) In this film, Ron has sort of a stalker girlfriend. Has it ever gotten strange where you're dating people who are more interested in dating Harry, Ron or Hermione rather than yourselves? Emma Watson: "I'm dating my stalker, actually." It's dumb to even give a stalker the time or day in a magazine discussing them. It will probably embolden them by fueling whatever twisted fantasies they have in their head. If it were me I would not even mention it. In 2010 she said this From digitalspy.com November 2010, "Emma Watson has revealed that she and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint used to hide from their security guards. The actress admitted that she "hates" having bodyguards and prefers to deal with the attention she receives on her own. Watson explained: "I hate having bodyguards and when we were younger, Dan, Rupert and I used to try to hide from the people trying to keep an eye on us." The 20-year-old went on to say that she now feels comfortable traveling on public transport by herself. She added: "Now it's like, 'Really, I'm fine'. I take the train and the bus and, if I don't dress up too much, I'm usually fine. Occasionally people stop me but I'd rather deal with that than not go out at all. That'd be really tragic." In her most recent interview for Elle she said this From snitchseeker.com March 2014, “So while Radcliffe reportedly rarely leaves his house without a bodyguard, Watson memorably began her college career by moving into the freshman dorm-the very definition of exposed. She lopped off her hair, appeared in a student production of Chekhov. There were moment, she says, when she thought, “I don’t know if I can do this. Or if this is sensible anymore.” But she held firm, turning down high-profile work that would interfere with her studies. “I just don’t want a life where I can’t have a life, “she says. “And so I’ve been just unbelievably stubborn about it.” ^Peculiar and then this article comes out about her hired bodyguard. Could it have been Radcliffe's people saying, "Hey, wait a minute" and then ratted Emma out? That last quote, the newer one, is of course a total contradiction from what she said about Brown before. I don't know it's that's the truth or this is some rouse to plant the idea she was heckled out of college life. I don't know but one thing is for sure I don't believe most of what comes out of this girls mouth. I'm like those towns people that had it with the games of the little boy that cried wolf. As for the stalking it's the only thing I'll give her sympathy for. I think it would suck. If it's an over zealous stan or a weirdo I don't think it's cool. If you like or even dislike her there are still lines you should never cross and that includes invading her space. She's just one fake ass actress that lives in her own head that plays make believe and makes millions off it. Then of course she complains about it and manipulates the media and her fan base to cover up "the real Emma Watson". She's a prettily weaved illusion designed to trick you. There is no such thing as the perfect person and just because she is pretty it does not make her perfect girlfriend material. Stans and weirdos please understand this.

#echee #echee's post

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