#ive seen so fucking much of it lately

[thotpuppy]

get that bullshit AI "art" out of my fuckin fandom tags

#sterek #ive seen so fucking much of it lately #teen wolf #tag your ai so i can block you #why would you hide it if you dont think theres anything wrong with using it

[just-null-cult]

i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him

also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻

also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)

N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.

he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.

BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.

i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!

Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.

He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!

if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......

#noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi kamo x reader #merry october #sO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE AGAIN WDYM OCTOBERS ALMOST OVER FUKC SO THESE OCTOBER POSTS WILL LEAK INTO NOVEMBER. AHA. #FAM I WAS SPITBALLIN SO HARD W THE WRITING BUT FUCK IT OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT #ty back for the cat noritoshi idea btw. ill love you forever #the way i fell off my chair and scrambled to read the rest of this ask was insane. friendship.? im so awkward but i'll be here for u homie #i love noritoshi headcanons.. #i eat them up like candy... #.... my cult member is moving up the unspoken ranks i made up while making this cult..... #as for ino and kashimo. i dont know much about them. #but i like the bits i do know! i like ino's energy.... he reminds me of an excitable puppy from what ive seen.. #i may draw more characters if i grow obsessed. i mean infatuated. or if they make noritoshi look good. #or if you do a damn good job at convincing me #but unfortunately. i was persuaded into a blood pact with my second in command to wait for the anime to finish then watch it with him then. #back to nori though. we are definitely together in this. i fucking understand the drought. pinterest keeps giving me geto #and yes. hes good too. BUT NOT THE MEOW MEOW I'M SCAVANGING FOR #THATS NOT MY STUCK UP BABYGIRL WHO'D SCOWL AT ME FOR PRONOUNCING WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE WRONG.... #btw peep the orange for pumpkins or something #happy halloween my awesome cult

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Japanese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel

#im so glad theres no one here to witness my reaction to seb wins because my god #i dont think words exist in the english language for the screeching noises i make HAHAHAHAHA #i just love him too much and it is a very late hour so i feel so deranged abt him and its very unwell behavior #i am kissing the tv director was for this podium directly on the mouth because SO MANY GOOD SHOTS !!!!!!!!! #my main gripe(and youll see this often in my tags) is that they never have enough direct shots and also cut away at bad moments #this podium? absolutely fucking beautiful. i want to kiss the camera operators because their focusing and tracking is a thing of beauty #hes so cute this race!!!!!! i have way too much content so shall be 3 posts methinks. hope ya dont mind!! #ive seen a clip of him and tommi chest bumping but i didnt know it was this race so when it suddenly cut to them im like OH!!!! #seb at japan gp....truly magnificent every single season(we dont talk about 2007) #i usually put 'ft. [ther drivers] but clearly both the cameramen and i only had eyes for seb hahaha #i guess this time tommi and rocky are the features!! #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 japanese gp #2009 japanese grand prix #sv5

[cupiidzbow]

i woke up thinking i hallucinated this but no… there’s actually a new figure coming out .. looks at my hands what is going on lately im so happy …

#I probably can’t get it bc it’s probably gonna be like $400 but yknow what… I can dream on #THEY LOOKS SO GOOD THO THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FGURES IVE EVER SEEN EAUAHHAHSHSHSHGS:??:?:?:??:?: #THEYRE SO SILLY THEY LOOKS SO CUTE CHEWS MY ARM OFF I LOVE THEM SO MUCH WHAT YHE FUCK !!!!!!!! #there’s so much merch lately is it bc of its 25th anniversary??????? #can I hope for more things should I have faith . #txt #🐻🍯🪕

[mememan93]

Zonai? you mean walking retcons?

#I hate the zonai #this blog is anti zonai #Like what. now zelda's powers. All of the zelda's powers come from the zonai?? not the triforce or even hylia?! #fuck that #i hate it #seriously #ive seen theories that the golden goddesses and hylia were zonai too and like. that's a fine idea to have. it makes sense given the retcons #but i hate it so much #you can't just come in here and be like 'these creatures that existed for one game are now the most important thing in the series' #fuck offfffffff #i think the reason i hate botw and totk the most is the abandoning of the heart of the series #both gameplay wise and lore wise #loz had a shit ton of magic and fantasy and stuff and now it's all 'ancient civilization... secretly advanced???' sksw isn't immune to this #either unfortunately #i've been thinking about oot lately. i miss you oot lore. i miss you. #anyway tldr zonai and totk retcons are dumb #and as far as i am concerned totk lore doesn't exist #there are no zonai #now i know how ppl who hate hylia due to lore retcons (not other dumb shit) feel #totk spoilers #i guess? #raven croaks #totk neg #totk salt #there. you can't say i didn't tag it

[dykemerrilll]

was gonna wait til i finished act 2 before posting my nightsong thoughts but actually i want to get my first impressions out to see if they change but…currently i’m pretty disappointed by it because from an rp perspective i literally don’t see a single reason why the pc would let shadowheart kill the nightsong if they weren’t already allied with the absolute.

from a practical perspective your whole aim is to get rid of ketheric’s invulnerability - i guess killing the nightsong might achieve that purpose but to me at least the implication throughout the gauntlet is that if you kill the nightsong as part of the dark justiciar trial she doesn’t actually die. (never mind the fact that aylin seems far too important to both ketheric and shar for her to be sacrificed if an ordinary selûnite would do). obligatory disclaimer that i didn’t let shadowheart kill her so i don’t know what happens in that instance, but that doesn’t really matter in this case because i’m talking about how the choice is presented to you, and to me at least it did not seem like killing aylin would be in any way strategic.

in which case it’s not really a choice because a) practically you are strongly encouraged to let aylin go and b) morally your tav has to justify the murder of a defenceless woman for…what, shadowheart’s career goals? even if you’re romancing shadowheart (which i am) convincing her requires a straightforward persuasion check, the mechanics of which thus far have meant you convince her that your position is correct - there’s not much in the way of lasting relationship consequences in that she won’t get so mad at you she leaves the party because you’ve already convinced her you’re right.

all that is to say that i think this is reflective of bg3’s overall binary attitude towards its major choices - there’s a good route (save the grove, defend isobel, free aylin), and a bad route (destroy the grove, ally with marcus, kill aylin). a lot of those choices compound, as well - other people have talked from actual experience about how allying with minthara will lose you a huge amount of content and allies, thus railroading you into picking a side from both a narrative and gameplay perspective. you’ve a huge amount of freedom in how you go about achieving any of those things - stealth, persuasion, combat etc., but the objectives themselves are pretty static.

so when you then have a companion’s personal quest tied to intrinsically to the plot it negates a huge amount of player choice. thematically, the companion quests are binary because they can either break or perpetuate cycles of abuse - that’s an instance in which binary choices can be very compelling. but the thematic concerns of shadowheart’s very intricate and heartfelt personal quest are totally undercut by the necessities of a pretty straightforward choice. i can’t play a hands-off tav and let this be shadowheart’s decision without to all appearances letting ketheric win. this isn’t a truly grey choice like the decision to sacrifice isolde or go to the circle in dragon age origins. it feels like that’s what bg3 was trying to do here by combining shadowheart’s quest and the main narrative, but because that main narrative is actually relatively inflexible, it just means shadowheart’s quest suffers by comparison.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #havent spoken to aylin yet so maybe my thoughts will change #this isnt even getting into the fact that overall i think the apparent motivations of the absolute cultists are completely #all over the place #something obviously worsened by the game’s reliance on chaotic evil races like goblins #ketheric is individually a great character but he doesn’t really tie in to the narrativr at all #yet — obviously he could but like. ive 65 hours in this game alreadg so i would kind of hope to have seen #a little more of my villains’ motivations #by now #this really isnt helped by all your major act 1 villains ending up dead by the end of it #and gortash and orin appearing super late #and the emperor still fucking about #im genuinely very confused by a lot of the main quest and im not stupid. ive played rpgs before #like i just. dont understand. why your player would ally with the goblins in act 1 #ive seen some people come up with truly great rp about that so like. its possible to justify #but i just dont think a game touting itself on freedom #and choice should need that much convoluted character work to justify its basic ‘bad’ choice #ais.bg3

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol / #drinking / #ask to tag?? #weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it.. #which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds. #several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

[callmehere-iwillappear]

leo voice YES it's in poor taste. but have you considered. it's REALLY FUNNY

#talk tag #fic talk #^ this is also me in my head trying not to make poor taste jokes abt things irl #my own things not other ppls im not THAT much of an asshole dw but like #look if i cant joke abt my mental health issues then what is the POINT of having them </3 #<- me and also leo btw #anyway cmh leo would absolutely have to hold himself back from making jokes abt his own death #hes literally already done the 'you look like youve seen a ghost' one so like #leo making a horrible horrible joke abt his own death watching his whole family start crying: ummm. whoops. the impulsive thoughts won </3 #editing to add bc ive been thinking abt this lately for.. some reason??? #genuinely dont know why BUT #if i ever end up getting hurt and end up in the hospital #and am out of commission for longer than a couple days #it is going to genuinely take ALL OF MY WILLPOWER #not to announce my return with 'i lived bitch' #im not fucking joking rn. ik i shouldn't but the urge. the URGEEEE

[poutymutt]

Hey you don't have to post this, I just wanted to say that it's really heartening to see that you've gotten a lot kinder towards people with kinks that are considered weirder or more freakish, and i hope you have a good day

supporting bodily autonomy and the right to self determination means i dont get to tell other people what they can and cant do in the bedroom. took me a while but i finally actually internalized that.

shocking many: you cant get mad at people for having a kink if youre not the one theyre going to engage in it with. if youre just some random bystander all youre doing by sharing your opinion is making an ass out of yourself.

#ive seen so much fucking cnc discourse lately #like i thought we were past this yall.... #like the thing is its simply none of ur business wht a stranger gets off on and if you dont like it you can ... not look at it #this has been in my inbox for a while

[roachemoji]

.

#bo posting #vent #i just need. to talk idk #i met with a psychiatrist the other day and i had to tell her everything #and there were 2 things that shook me #there was a period of time where i was heavily dissociating and i dont remember well or at all #and she asked me what made it stop #and i. i dont know. i coukdnt remember. its streased me out so much that i dont fucking remember #and then she asked about SA and i told her vaguely and she asked if id ever seen anyone about it #and i choked. because no. #ive tried several times but i either couldn't afford it or it wasnt a service offered #ive also just veen so afraid lately #ive been isolating bc i feel scared and unsafe around ppl i shouldnt feel this way around #i cant ask for things or talk abouy my feelings out of fear that #that im too much or overwhelming or overreacting or upsetting or offending like #i dont. even know how yo talk about this bc i dont want #comfort for this?? i domt know how yo explain it i just #my mind wont let me accept that its real #like im so used to love bombing ig??? that my anxiety around comfort and not validation i forget the word but #it feels like a trap sometimes bc there were times where it was #im so scared to be alone but im terrified to let ppl in right now #unless its me talking to the public void ig??? idk #🤪

[i-bring-crack]

Alright yeah fuck it. If you dont have characters that will be beloved by the people who read it then the stories dont last long in a fandom or sometimes even have an impact on people. Fuck the premise fuck the storyline fuck your worldbuilding becuase Ive seen so many, MANY, stories that are great have no one else to talk about simply because the characters were either too little screentime or none at all to be explored.

And now more than ever more people will define their liking of a story to whenever or not the characters are solid on their own instead of everything else. Its why much of the retellings or the same genre tropes are played out over and over again instead of new things compromising around the same idea.

And its not bad, but its also dumb for someone to go ahead and call another work of art, of whatever kind but im mostly talking about stories here, as a 'lesser work' simply because theres no characters that fit into neat molds or are hot and you can quickly get attached to, completely ignoring everything else about what it is and just deciding everyone who likes it has horrible tastes.

#rant #another personal rant oh boi #but honestly ive been looking at this obbession with fandoms lately. and even im the culprit of it. #where now a story is less defined by its content and instead defined by tropes #and its most consistent on characters as if you have to fit all of them into molds and let your characters be the best versions ever becaus #it will attract more people to come over and ship your works or have enough attraction to these characters that will make the readers buy #more of their content. merch. whatever #yeah specially in anime #and so specifically in isekai to the point where the character only needs to be physiscally attractive--- #but im getting out of the point #the thing is that so much art in general has been constantly linked to having this parasocial relationships with the ones who interact with #it that to some extent its fine but to the worst its litterally chaining people to spend away their lives and profits for something thats #just art. #i really dont know how to explain this to you without going over the basics of blah blah capitalism and the entretainment industry and #people linking their traumas and using parasocial relationships as coping mechanisms for their miserable lives and thats why so many #character driven stories sell so well nowadays. #without so so fucking much needed to be told but I just think it needs to be talked about at some point. #and to be clear again im also one of the people who IS stuck with those parasocial relationships #but ive seen worse and im genuenlly scare of what that could possibly meant for the future

[perenlop]

i love kirby super star fanfic or comic adaptations where marx and kirby are actually best friends during the course of the entire game and marx blindsides kirby, to the point where i want to do something soooort of similar with my kirbyverse, but i also just kinda love how in canon marx was just like “im gonna very specifically ruin this guys week”

#i think marx is less outright evil and murdery and more ''i just want to fuck around with no one to stop me'' #saw itsquakey say that marx seemed to be an antagonist more out of petty antagonism where he just wanted to play tricks with no backlash #and i gotta replay milky way wishes again to verify that bc ill admit i never paid that much attention to his dialogue but thats interesting #or at least it differentiates him from magolor a bit more #who more or less just outright wants to rule the universe #im torn on whether or not i want him and kirby to be besties tho #for one im like. so unsure if i want him to be the same age as kirby #bc ngl ive always seen marx as rather young so i saw him and kirby as being the same age at one point #and magolor was also the same as them. but now i firmly see magolor as like in his early 20s or so mentally #mayyybe a late teen at best? and i feel like if he and marx are gonna be a duo itd be cool to keep em the same age? #but then i want marx and kirby to be like. direct parallels in some way like idk. theyre the same age yet had totally different circumstance #that shaped who they became (still sort of want to play into my ''marx is a mirror of kirby'' hc from when i was little) #ig i could just also age up kirby but like youll have to pry child kirby from my dead hands #none of this matters ik its not like i ship marxolor or marxby or anything (anymore) but like idk #maybe im overthinking it LOL #idk tho basically idea is that marx and kirby are actually childhood best friends who've known each other since they were newborns #but like. besides that i have no ideas sdklfjsdlkfjsdlkfsd i used to have an edgy ass backstory for marx where his parents were murdered #and thats valid if you have something like that for his backstory but idk if i want to go that route anymore #bc marx is less villainous here and more ''i have no real moral compass and i want to fuck with people'' #idk im throwing spaghetti at the wall btw nothing here is verified at all #echoed voice

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

i think there’s a lot of pride i have in chapter 10 and the build up to it

#original post #fic: splinters of madness #again this all has been planned from the beginning #which makes me super happy because now i can see the fruit of my labors #all that foreshadowing #im proud of the twist because its not like its out of the blue and i pulled it out of my ass #it has been here from day one #i just like… i had to say it #anyways sorry just. ranting #i need to take my meds #also ive seen yalls comments and thank you guys so much #i was beyond excited for you guys to read this chapter #i promise i’ll respond soon ive just been very tired lately and my sleep schedule is fucked

[clockworkflicker]

[tap or open image in new tab for higher quality]

In Sickness and In Spite

3.5k words, F cold. Familiarity with the source material is not required.

Fi/re Emb/lem Thr/ee Ho/pes — platonic Hubert & Monica. Snzfic + character study. These idiot rivals begrudgingly care about each other, your honor! Cue mlm-wlw bickering. Inspired by this post about ice magic. We love a sniffly traumatized mage.

Content warnings for wartime medieval fantasy setting, referenced past imprisonment, and mess.

“Return to the eastern encampment at once, and see to it that our reserves are told to prepare for the capture of Arianrhod.”

The faintest of smiles threatens to tug at Hubert’s lips as he hands a letter off to the courier standing at attention in his quarters. His expression, which the courier might later describe as “reeking of malicious contentedness” is one that Hubert’s fellow commanders are slowly growing used to as this war drags on, but it still sends a chill down the spines of those less familiar with the man’s more dubious qualities.

“Count Bergliez is to bring his troops to Arianrhod to hold the city in our absence, do I make myself clear?”

The man’s voice is smooth as dark chocolate, and equally rich, the courier finds himself thinking as he accepts the letter from Hubert. Of course, now is no time to indulge in chocolate, nor thoughts of admiration of a man’s voice. How foolish.

“I’ll see it done.”

Hubert folds his arms and gives a subtle nod. “Good. Well then, safe travels.”

The courier leaves, and Hubert finds himself once again alone in his quarters. He considers stepping out to check in with Lady Edelgard and discuss upcoming battle plans, but he thinks better of it once he pulls the drape from the entrance to his tent and sees that the sun has already set. They’ll be marching again early in the morning, and Her Majesty is likely to be asleep (or attempting to sleep, at least) by this hour.

He lights the lantern at his desk and sets a kettle to boil for coffee. His body feels heavy after the day’s skirmish at Magdred Way, but his mind isn’t quite ready to sleep. His troops encountered those damn Agarthan mages looming between the trees at Magdred. Evidence of their continued presence in this war, pulling the strings from behind the curtains, is enough to keep him up at night — not that he’d ever admit to such a thing. Given that he’s not sleeping just yet, there’s no sense in squandering an opportunity to get some work done, so he settles down with a stack of paperwork and quill.

Outside, a chorus of crickets come alive for the night, cautiously chirping along with the smoky early-autumn breeze and the occasional chatter from other commanders and soldiers passing by. After some time, the sound of a harsh sneeze pierces the white noise. Hubert casts a slow glance to his tent’s entrance. It sounded close by, but no one’s immediately outside the tent. He sets the distraction aside and returns to the list of provisions he was perusing.

But he can’t help but notice that the crickets’ song is punctuated by the occasional sniffle. Is that new, or has he only just noticed it now, he wonders. After a few minutes, there’s another sneeze, this one more high pitched than the last, followed by a slow, laden groan. It’s a familiar groan, he realizes. He knows exactly who it belongs to.

Unlike Monica von Ochs, Hubert does not possess a perfect memory. But given the frequency with which the woman expresses irritation around him, he would be remiss not to recognize the sound of her grumbling.

Her tent isn’t far from his. “I’m Her Majesty’s vassal just as much as you are,” Monica had insisted when they’d been setting up their base camp last week. “If she has need of me, I wish to be prepared and nearby.”

While Hubert finds her near-constant presence and general lack of composure to be somewhat grating, he certainly cannot complain about the woman’s dedication. Monica is, above all else, a valuable asset to the army and confidant to Her Majesty.

The kettle boils. He sets his quill aside and finds the coffee grounds he’d packed in his satchel. His eyes fall on the Almyran pine tea blend he keeps handy next to his stash of coffee grounds — a provision should he find a spare moment to enjoy a warm beverage with Ferdinand.

Hubert briefly regards the pine needles. Certainly not the ideal tea for a cold, and he can’t imagine his neighbor would particularly want his company. And yet...

~~~

There’s ice in her veins and haze clouding her head, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter. She sits at her desk, bundled up in her cloak with a quill and stack of paperwork. The flickering light from her lantern blurs her vision, eyes half-lidded and threatening to grow too rheumy to make out the words.

Not that it matters much. The chill gnawing at her bones from the inside out is enough of a distraction on its own that Monica finds herself wholly unable to make a dent in the status report she’s meant to have on Her Majesty’s desk by tomorrow morning.

She sniffles in irritation. She’d managed to doze off immediately after returning from Magdred this afternoon, but sleep held little respite. After a few hours of tossing and turning, she’d gasped awake, shivering with ire and cold sweat, unpleasant memories distorted by the whims of her feverish subconscious still vivid in her mind. With some effort, Monica had forced herself upright, shakily grasping the glass of water beside her bed and taking a drink.

She’s never forgotten what it’s like to be locked up in a cell — how could she? They say time heals all wounds, but such a thing can’t be true; not for her. While the sands of time are kind enough to erode others’ painful memories, weathering away sharp edges into manageable curves, Monica needs only close her eyes to find herself back on that cold stone floor, every detail in place, nothing forgotten. Exactly 296 stone blocks comprised the wall she had been chained to. That horrible woman’s raucous laugh, which always hit G#, no higher, no lower. The gleam of her athame, teasingly pressed below Monica’s jaw with just enough force to draw a thin line of fresh blood. The warm ferrous odor intermingling with the cool musk of the dungeon and that woman’s near-intoxicating scent of patchouli, sage, and mahogany.

And knowing Her Majesty was put through something so much worse; held in a cell and poked, prodded, sliced open, then reassembled as a tool of war? It makes her blood boil.

Her head had swam from sitting up so fast; a reminder that this Goddess-forsaken fever is going to literally boil her blood if she’s not careful.

Against her better judgement, she’d lit her lantern and dragged herself to her desk to take care of some paperwork. As much as she’d love to drift back off to sleep, the thought of going back there — even if only in a dream — is more than enough to keep her wide awake for a few more hours. Normally, she’d go out for a run or a swim to clear her head and simmer down, but she frankly can’t imagine her body will comply today.

Pinching her nose with a handkerchief that has long outlived its usefulness, Monica distantly wonders what would’ve become of her in that cold dark cell, had Her Majesty not come to her aid. She’d be dead, probably. It’s a useless thought, but one that plagues her nonetheless. Her nose is no less damp when she pulls the cloth away, so she sniffles again and resigns to just cleaning herself up with the inner collar of her cloak, soft fabric feeling like sandpaper against her nostrils.

“Monica?” A low voice from outside her tent startles her back to reality. “It’s Hubert. I have a matter I’d like to discuss, if you wouldn’t mind my company at this hour.”

She hesitates. Company is the last thing she wants right now. Well, perhaps she wouldn’t mind if it was Lady Edelgard or Dorothea...

“I’ll leave you be if you’d prefer it,” Hubert continues when she doesn’t reply. “But I thought it prudent to offer some tea.”

Still no response. Hubert briefly wonders if she’s managed to fall asleep. But then a small sniffle breaks the silence, followed by the sound of shuffling blankets. Monica draws aside the thick cloth draped over her tent’s entrance, eyes tilted up to meet his. Her brow is knit in confusion, but her gaze is glassy and distant. By the look of things, it was indeed the prospect of tea that coaxed her out.

She finds Hubert stood before her, holding two cups, warm steam gently rising from both. Monica doesn’t need her sense of smell to know their contents. One black coffee — a preposterous choice of beverage at this hour — and one Almyran pine tea. It’s almost a comedic image, the way the man's usual looming presence is kneecapped by something as mundane as a warm drink.

“You keep Almyran pine needles on your person specifically for Ferdinand,” she says plainly, her voice hoarse around the edges. “Why offer them to me?”

A slight frown draws Hubert’s lips. This woman is irritatingly perceptive and straightforward, especially when it comes to relationships he would prefer she kept quiet about.

But even in the low light, he can see the exhaustion plainly written across Monica’s face; dark thumbprints pressed beneath her eyes, a glimmer of moisture sits below her pinkish nose, her pallor framed by a mess of untamed burgundy locks. Judging by the paperwork strewn about on her desk, he figures she’s been just as busy as he’s been this evening. It’s not all that cold out, but her slight frame is swallowed up in a heavy winter cloak. Despite this, she looks to be shivering a little, and Hubert makes a mental note to check later if any of her reports from this excursion will need to be rewritten due to shaky handwriting.

While Monica is objectively the shortest commander in the Adrestian army, her shrewd demeanor and prowess on the battlefield are more than enough to compensate for what she lacks in height. But for the first time in years, Hubert finds himself thinking that she just looks small.

“You’re ill,” he says, matching her matter-of-fact tone.

“Yes, and?” Her eyes narrow, unfocused, and she inhales an uneven breath, then another. She ducks to the side with a horribly gruff sneeze, snatching the collar of her cloak up to meet her face as she shudders forward with the force of it. “ihh- hheh-! hHT’CHHUHshh!”

“And tea serves the dual purpose of perhaps offering some relief while also coaxing you away from your paperwork.” Hubert gives a small sigh, still looking stoic. “I should admonish you for working late in such a state.”

She scoffs, the watery phlegm crackling in her airways making her sound far more pitiful than disdainful, much to her chagrin. Wincing, she snuffles and rubs at her nose through the fabric. When she clears her throat, it does absolutely nothing for her wrecked voice. “As if you’re not guilty of the same.”

“Unlike you, I possess the sense not to work myself sick.”

“If you say so.” Knowing the man’s work-life balance (or lack thereof), Monica finds that statement highly unlikely. If she weren't so sick, she’d call him out for it, but she can’t quite muster the energy to get worked up over it at the moment. Another chill shakes through her, and it occurs to her that she’d much rather be sitting than standing, and a warm drink really does sound nice. She swallows thickly and glances away. “Anyway, I, um, I won’t say no to tea. If you’re offering.”

“That is why I’m here, yes,” Hubert says with a hint of levity, handing her a cup.

She gratefully accepts it, the deliciously warm ceramic prickling her cold fingertips. The rising steam causes her nose to run a bit more than it already was, but she revels in its gentle heat. “You said there was something you wanted to —” she pauses to sniffle, and exhales a tired, drippy guhh. “— to discuss?”

~~~

The two sit beside a small fire, tucked away at the edge of the base camp. On any other day, Monica would have simply invited Hubert to join her in her quarters, but she can’t imagine she’d be able to keep this damn cold to herself in such a small enclosed space, so this will have to do.

“Were you unwell when we marched on Magdred this morning?” He asks, settling down on a fallen log once he’s convinced he’s fed the fire enough wood to sustain itself. The flames dance, bathing them both in a warm glow amidst the dusky woods.

She shakes her head. “What, would you expect me to delay our troops because of a sore throat? I simply did what was necessary.” Monica takes a careful sip of her tea. Swallowing hurts, but it warms her from the inside out. Although her senses are too dulled to get a good handle on the flavor, she finds the tea has a distinct, earthy quality. It reminds her of simpler days spent hunting in the mountainous woodlands scattered about inland Ochs territory.

“And last night?” Hubert raises an eyebrow.

“I thought it was just exhaustion and nerves, at that point. We’d been marching all day, after all.” Smoke from the fire makes her sinuses burn, prompting her to retreat further into her cloak with a watery sniff, almost like a turtle into its shell.  

“For someone so perceptive, you certainly posses an impressive lack of self-awareness.” He tilts his head with a slight smirk. “Perhaps if you didn’t so frequently find yourself flush with rage or affection, you wouldn’t struggle to tell apart fatigue from fever.”

She glowers. “Perhaps if you grew flush with rage every now and again, you wouldn’t have the complexion of a coffin-dweller.” Smoke catches in her throat as she speaks, completely stripping the insult of any teeth it may have had otherwise. She muffles a few weary coughs against her collar, causing a bit of mess to spill from her nose and create another dark patch on the fabric.

Hubert exhales a dry laugh. In spite of everything, it’s good to see that she’s at least well enough to quip back. “Well, there’s nothing to be done for it now. But do try to be more conscientious of your limits.”  

Monica narrows her eyes with a sniff. “I know very well how hard I can push myself, thank you.” As if to deny her claim, the irritation in her airways causes her breath to hitch. Her eyes squint shut and her face contorts into an expression somewhere between a grimace and a snarl. She snaps forward with a desperate and distressingly sick-sounding sneeze, frantically aimed at the fabric resting atop her shoulders. She’d meant to stifle, but there’s only so much one can do when attempting to restrain such a forceful sneeze hands-free. She fumbles her cup of tea, spilling a bit in the process.

“And yet I can’t help but find your form as of late to be rather... rash.” Hubert turns his eyes back to the fire, not wishing for his gaze to be a source of further embarrassment for his stricken companion.

The gesture does not go unnoticed, and she’s grateful for it. The space between her nose and lips is slick, and a string of glistening mess dangles precariously from her septum to her cloak before falling against her chest. She instinctively snuffles, and immediately regrets doing so, as it produces a horribly soupy sound and reignites the burning itch. She hastily sets her tea aside and clutches at her collar with steepled hands, trembling with a flurry of quick, audibly damp breaths, until —

“ihheH- hH’KSSCH’ue! …hh? …hht’KSSCH’uhh!”

The second sneeze rends her throat, leaving her airways and collar absolutely drenched. With a small, exhausted groan, she allows herself just a brief moment of feeling sorry for herself before tending to her nose. She’s soaked through the fabric in her hands, and finds herself wondering if she needs to worry about running out of cloak. After finding a suitably dry spot, Monica draws a handful of cloak to her face and begins cleaning herself up. The stinging sensation of dry fabric against slick, inflamed skin makes her wince. “How so?”

“Lady Edelgard tells me you’ve had quite the talent for fire magic since you were young, and I must agree. The army would be remiss without a skilled mage such as yourself to set enemy strongholds ablaze.”

If she were alone, Monica would have blown her nose by now, but the thought of doing so in front of someone else makes her stomach twist in a knot. Clearly, if his unprompted arrival at her tent with tea is anything to go by, she's assaulted Hubert (and the rest of the camp, for that matter) with far too great a volume of sick noises as is. Goddess, she hopes Her Majesty hasn't overheard any of this. Monica settles for gently pinching her nose between the slick fabric, which does, blessedly, remove a decent amount of moisture. She gives a tired sigh, cautiously reaching down to retrieve her tea, almost afraid another sneeze will cause her drop it without warning. “What’re you getting at?”

Hubert gestures to the jet black tome strapped to her hip. “You’ve been teaching yourself ice spells recently. Why?”

“What kind of question is that?” She crinkles her nose. “Sometimes it’s more beneficial to freeze an enemy in place than set them on fire. Anyone can benefit from being more versatile.”

“Is versatility truly your reason, though? The elemental whiplash you must be giving yourself can’t be healthy.” Hubert gives her a knowing look as he raises his coffee to his lips.

Monica stares at him, then looks down at her tea. Assailing an enemy with flames, followed up by an ice spell, is going to inflict more pain than fire alone. That’s her reason. It’s that simple.

“We’ve recently been fighting more of the people who imprisoned Her Majesty and me. The dark mages at Magdred, for example. I...” she pauses with a sharp sniffle, frustrated with this cold, frustrated with Hubert for prompting her to confront one of her more wicked impulses at a time like this, frustrated with herself for being such a deeply bitter person. “I want it to hurt.”

Hubert remains silent and his expression unreadable, much to Monica’s annoyance. She presumes that his lack of reaction means she’s just confirmed something he was already aware of. Goddess, she hates how he seems to know her vices better than she knows them herself.

Finally, he speaks. “I understand.” His voice is low and surprisingly sincere. “Not a day goes by that I don’t lament my failure to protect Her Majesty when it mattered most.”

‘I understand’ is a bit of an unspoken compromise between two people who will never truly see eye to eye. Their ire for Edelgard’s captors is not equivalent, and they both know it. Hubert is cold and calculating, more than able to channel his emotions into neat, underhanded tactics that will serve Her Majesty well. But for Monica, it’s a spiteful, burning hatred that hungers for vengeance. It’s selfish and cruel and everything she wishes she wasn’t.

Hubert continues. “But, for Lady Edelgard’s sake, if not your own, I ask that you don’t do this to yourself. Even the most skilled mages aren’t equipped to deal with recoil from opposing elements. I suspect you’re intimately aware of this fact.”

He’s not wrong, Monica must admit. Ice magic has a way of chilling its caster to the bone, and alternating between fire and ice always leaves her a sniffly mess. It’s caused easily-ignored colds to turn debilitating more times than she’d care to let on. She doesn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected anyone, let alone Hubert, of all people, to care.

Before she can fully sort out her thoughts, a familiar burning sensation bristles at her sinuses. Her mouth hangs slightly open in uncertainty, brow furrowed, and a small, wavering breath sifts through her teeth. Monica teeters on the precipice for just a moment. Watery mucus drips down one flared nostril, then the other, pooling above her lip. She dares not sniffle, or else —

“ihhh-? hehh- hED’SSHuuh!”

She ducks to the side and clings desperately to her teacup as a half-stifled shivery sneeze seizes her, sending another unfortunate deluge of soupy mess down her face. Goddess, she’s tired. “snndffl. ghuhh. You could say that.”

Once again, she sets aside her tea and takes to tending to her nose. “Look, Hubert, I appreciate the concernd, but I...” she trails off with a congested groan and shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

“Far be it from me to lecture you,” Hubert says, standing from his seat on the log and turning to leave, “but destroying yourself won’t change the past.”

“Where are you going?” Monica looks up at him, confused.

“To fetch my kettle. You’re still shaking, and have just about spilled the last of the tea.”

Pulling her cloak a little tighter around herself, she watches him walk back to his tent. She thinks that perhaps, just this once, he might have a point.

#y'alllllll it's finally FINALLY done!!!!!! #i've been working on this since late july and it went through like three rewrites so I Am Thrilled To Be Done. happy sicktember! #monnie is one of the worst written characters ive ever seen in a video game #she had so much potential to be interesting and the breadcrumbs are certainly there but GOD #the writers hecked the fuck up #thankfully i know how to write her Correctly #the devs just straight up handed us a canon lesbian and said #'she's horribly traumatized and has a ton of ugly emotions simmering below the surface but we're not going to address any of that' #anyway i had a great time writing about these two. monica is just So Much and hubert is hubert [affectionate] #also this has almost nothing to do with this particular fic but you can't tell me that monica doesnt fuck a sneeze okay #the sky is blue. capitalism sucks. mon/ica von o/chs is a sneezefucker. these are immutable truths #the fact that she canonically has a running tally of how many times edel/gard has expressed concern for her health is proof enough #(i looked it up. the tally is at 208 at the time of the cutscene she mentions it) #this woman is unhinged we love to see it #i'd also point to her love for tea (and making tea for edel/gard) if it weren't for the fact that 90% of the cast loves tea #'oh lady edelgard! it's chilly out! would you like some tea? a coat?' girl. honey. i know what you are. #th/ree hou/ses and th/ree ho/pes are such funny games. these bitches really do just swing swords and drink tea all day long #my art #my writing #btw this isn't beta'd so if you see a typo or something that makes no sense please PLEASE tell me

[lttm]

ok how do i change this. 2 for size

#dont worry tumblr i will add tags so ppl can find my post! #tumblr #tumblr update #stupid shit ass ugly tumblr #piece of shit website #worst shit ive ever seen core #why are you trying to replicate the website everyone hates #keep yourself safe tumblr update #the we want our users to go to hell tumblr update #the we hate our users so so so so so so so much update #IT SUCKS SO BAD ITS SO UGLY ITS SO CLUTTERED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS #GOOD FUCKING LORD #STUPID SHIT ASS UGLIEST THING WE COULD MAKE (SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN) #THE IM GOING TO RENOUNCE WEBSITES AND BECOME A HERMIT IN THE WOODS IF THEY KEEP THIS UP UPDATE #the this better be a late april fools joke update #im mad im mad im mad im mad im mad im mad im mad #GRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR

[erythristicbones]

just spent 20 minutes running back and forth down the hallway bc Nori apparently found a fucking mouse inside and decided it was a toy. she kept dropping it and catching it again when it ran and then at one point flung it several feet into the air. the mouse then proceeded to rocket under the couch before any of use could catch it bc of said flinging. so. mouse loose in our home

how's everyone else's afternoon

#whicb kind of explains why she's been loafing in the bathroom so much lately #the mouse was under the cabinet and ig nori has had her eye on it for a week #i looked under the cabinet expecting a fucking gecko bc thats always what i have to rescue from the cats #not an entire itty bitty mouse #like smallest mouse ive ever seen in my life #had all of its fur and motor functions tho so its not too much of a baby #i have zero clue how it got in considering we dont have very many access points?? #there's no holes we know of and its a mobile home that sits up off the ground so it had to climb to get in #and the cats are strictly indoors so its not like they caught it outside #we've had mice get into the air vents bc theyre in the floor....but none of the vents allow something that small up them?? #bc its a foot of sheer metal with no purchases