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#jinx coins
archival-arrival · 11 months
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MixteGender
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a gender that can be described as or similar to anonbinary, aporagender, genderfluid and/or quoigender/wtfgender. it is neither binary nor nonbinary, neither feminine, masculine, neutral or nonbinary but also all of those things together in a unified-null way, a completely different thing outside the binary apart from being nonbinary. it may fit under the nonbinary umbrella for some but it specifically doesnt because its detachment and simultaneous connection to both the binary and nonbinary. it feels like a fourth sort of experience of gender, neither neutral nor androgynous, not agender nor void or nullgender, not directly "girl/woman" or "boy/man".
those who use this gender may fluctuate in how they express their gender, this may be influenced by ones neurodivergence, disorders or any mental illness one may have, therefore making it a neurogender but does not have to be.
this gender falls under many different labels with similar descriptions and experiences but at the same time still doesn't quite fit them, making it very hard to understand and define ones gender.
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Etymology:
Mixte -> French, meaning Mixed/Joint pronunciation = "Mixed-aye/Mix-tay"
+ Gender
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Mixte May be used as a prefix for genders related to or similar/coined under this gender as subjenders. You may use this as a gender system.
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tagging for reach, feel free to ask to be removed! @the-yanderess, @kitti-coining, @zelle-exe, @gender-mailman, @lovelessmogai, @brutalmogai
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jackalmeat · 1 year
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Mostly just throwing spaghetti at my own mental wall and seeing what sticks, but I have Unorganized And Poorly Articulated Thoughts about the fact that Ekko and Jinx are around the same age, lost their guardians and peer groups at the same time and in a deeply traumatic way, etc.; and yet I feel like Ekko's status as a victim of their broken, oppressive, and exploitative social landscape doesn't receive remotely the same acknowledgment or weight as Jinx's.
While I'm sure that that's due in large part to the fact that Ekko has been successful at building a sense of healthy, mutualistic belonging + community with others in a way that Jinx clearly hasn't, it's nonetheless worth noting that [A] he had to build that and learn how to take care of both himself and others when he was still a child, and the maturity he exhibits is a direct and tragic result of his boyhood being cut violently short; and [B] failing to acknowledge him meaningfully as a victim and a kid, just because he seems to have 'turned out okay' or some-such, reads very distinctly to me like an extension of the documented tendency in our own world for people to "adultify" young black boys due to perceiving them as older, less innocent, and more threatening/less in need of protection than their white peers.
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comparativetarot · 1 year
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Three of Pentacles. Art by St. Jinx, from the Reclaimed Earth Tarot.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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What's something your culture considers good luck or a good luck charm? Or something you make wishes on?
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Jinxcharic
A -charic gender related to Jinx from the show, Arcane!
Requested by Anon!
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fatestouch · 8 months
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There's a light humming in the air, a tune that seemed like idly nonsense to some, and something close to a lullaby to others. A dark clad figure in the one that's humming, his hands fiddling with something.
He only pauses when his phone rings.
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"Heya, Mama. You actually have great timing; I just finished this job."
"So it seems, since you were able to answer. Though... you did answer a bit quickly. Did you forget to silence your phone again, Jinx~?"
Though the words were teasing, Jinx floundered a bit nonetheless. ""N-no! I mean... it was on, but it's fine! I'm already finished, and no one saw me--"
A pause. And then he tilts his head. And slowly turns his head behind him, bright green eyes locked on the figure behind him.
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"...No one saw me before."
"Always pay attention to your surroundings, my dear treasure. Well, it cannot be helped... handle things, hm? Be sure not to attract more attention."
"Yes, Mama."
Hanging up, Jinx stands slowly. "Y'know, most people hear a noise going on in an alley, they usually turn the other way. It's typical human nature, y'know. Staying in your lane and all that."
And then the intruder turns to run, Jinx is suddenly right there in their face. "But then there's the people who wanna get nosy. Sucks that you're one of the latter... sucks for you, anyway."
With an easy little smile, Jinx taps a finger against the intruder's cheek, while a second Jinx is behind them with a knife at their throat.
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"My Mama didn't say to hurry back home, so I'll take my time. We're gonna play a game. Let's see what breaks first. Your body, or your mind." And his eyes shift from bright green to glowing violet. "Let's put on a good show of madness for my patron."
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Blowmybrainsoutsongic
A gender connected to the song blow my brains out. It could also be connected to the 🧠&🫀 emojis but doesn’t have to.
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jhsharman · 1 year
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Li'l Jinx charms
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Okay. And
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somuch-4-stardust · 2 years
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i will learn NOTHING from this
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mollysunder · 8 months
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Lunari Heritage in Zaun
This is gonna be a reach, but from the little we've seen of Vi and Jinx's mom and younger Silco, I'd guess they were both from the same ethnic group.
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In a place like Zaun, where the people are left with scraps, any piece of jewelry sticks out. Vi's mom and Silco are both wearing similar pieces of jewelry. Silco's bracelet could likely be fitted as a necklace since it twice wraps over his wrist. Neither are wearing anything of high quality, but the necklace and bracelet in their respective pictures seem decently maintained if not worn. That's when I thought, these are probably heirlooms.
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In fact they looked pretty similar too, but in smaller scale of the princess's own pendants. I wouldn't bring this up if it weren't for the fact that Piltovans prioritize elaborate art-deco aesthetics, the more elaborately geometric the better (Councilor Shoola). So you would assume even the simplest jewelry would be a square pendant or a straight line. But no, big plain circles, and then I remembered we saw that before, on the princess Ambessa killed. Big bronze circles.
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And when we look at young Vi , you notice that she's wearing jewelry too. A simple necklace with a green (it looks green) gem. And I realized that the princess's necklace was also adorned green gems.
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I'm pulling from scraps, but it's interesting that small things these Zaunites have to adorn themselves (though not for long with the time skips) are similar versions if not simpler version's of the princess's.
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At first I thought this meant that many of the cast were actually of Ionian descent. But then in the Princess's scene a thought kept coming back to me, "Why is Mel wearing purple?". Mel, a skilled diplomat from a young age, typically wears the main colors of the nations she hosts and is hosted by. White for Piltover, Black for Noxus (Ambessa), and always with her signature accents of gold. So if Mel followed her mother to Ionia ,where green is a culturally significant color, why purple? It's because Mel and Ambessa weren't in Ionia, they were in Targon fighting the Lunari.
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The Lunari are Rakkor tribal people in the Targonian region who worship the moon, and are persecuted for it by the Solari, the religious order that worships the sun. While technically Mt. Targon is influenced by Mt. Olympus and Greek mythology aesthetic, that's more the case for the Solari. Overtime the Lunari aesthetic has been mixed it's originally nomadic culture with East Asian influences. The prominent colors of the Lunari happen to be turquoise, silver, black and purple. It was such a little thing to remember but it made me see connections I hadn't thought about.
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Suddenly everything starts to connect. The bronze coins represent the 3 moons that exist in Arcane's Runeterra. How do we know there are 3 moons, because the Valdiani piece Jinx stole was depicting their planet. In the Valdiani there are 3 orbits circling the Earth, meaning 3 moons (or satelites). Now the engraving on the gold of the princess's necklace makes sense, because it's supposed to resemble the gates at the peak of Mt. Targon. The pendant itself is shaped like the mountain with the gates fitted at the top.
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Frankly, it works for the Princess to have been Lunari and waves of descendants of the Lunari to arrive in Piltover and end up in Zaun. In Arcane, Piltover was created as a safe haven to escape the Rune Wars 200 years from the start of the show. Even after the Rune Wars ended the shipping port has likely seen waves of migrant labor and refugees from the ongoing crisis that occur in Runeterra (*cough*Noxus*cough*). It's likely that many of the current generation of Zaunites are of mixed heritage of the various fleeing people's.
It creates a whole new dynamic of the ways in which Piltover's laws, their Ethos, strips the people of Zaun from their identity and reducing them to tools for the mines. Magic is inherently a part of religious ceremonies and religion in general in Runeterra, especially for the Lunari. How do you practice your religion in a place that has banned the means by which it's conducted? There must have been more people like the Lunari who didn't have a problem with their magic, their problem was that they were being persecuted.
The remnants of family keepsakes brought over as communities fled were clung to as best as possible especially as they had to let go of part their spiritual identity. But even that doesn't seem to have lasted either. Vi doesn't keep her necklace, her mother is dead, so lost is her necklace, and we never see Silco wear his bracelet. They could have been stolen, or at best, hidden for safe keeping, maybe Enforcers get suspicious at the hint of mysticism and suddenly they want to talk.
Finally, maybe a little less related, it is interesting how prominent Piltovans and Zaunites take on day and night aspects. The sun shines over Piltover at their best, begins to set at times of uncertainty. While in the cover of night with moon above, the strongest Zaunites strike hardest. One more thing, it is interesting how Arcane's Jinx has taken on darker tones of purple rather than stick with neon pink. I always have to go back and look at a reference to remember that her pants are purple-er than I recall.
Update: I wanted to include that the large doodle Jinx made on her cup actually looks similar to the Lunari's sigil. And the sigil remains on the cup into the timeskip, also the center moon is made smaller within the crescent like in the necklace. I also noticed Jinx's cup later has more violent bomb imagery around it.
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fatesundress · 1 year
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⭑ patience, please, and thank you. tom riddle x reader
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summary. you and tom have always sought to best one another in school. it doesn’t help that upon graduating, you work for opposing shops.
tags. rivals to … rivals with benefits? lovers? there’s no real animosity just #flirting so i don’t know, SMUTT minors begone, fluff that may be ooc to some but Not Me, reader literally learns archaic latin for this man, poor boy x rich girl trope if you squint, pureblood reader (and mentions of pureblood marriage politics), explicitly f!reader this time sorry!, fem anatomy, fingering, piv, tldr tom riddle would be turned on by the culminated tension of an eight-year-long academic rivalry.
note. i was 5k words into something else (that is probably better) before this came to me and would not go away so. here it is. don't know where all the smut is coming from. head empty
word count. 6.4k
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The bell to Borgin and Burkes knells low and hollow in your ear as you enter, and there he is. Prim waistcoat and perfect hair, tucking books away with a wave of his wand. Far too pretty a thing for a dusty place like this, you think, and you smile with your head held high, pretending to take in the inventory as if that's ever been your reason for coming here.
“You mightn't consider leaving at all," Tom says, regarding you briefly before returning to his books, “if you're going to return this often."
“Oh, Riddle, but then what would you do without my company? Talk to the bones?"
“A tempting offer when considering my alternative.”
He leans against the counter to watch you as you make your way down the aisle, fingers jolting as they brush the shelves of dark paraphernalia, preemptively casting a locking jinx on a particularly nasty skeletal hand that grabbed you once last year.
“Is there anything you're looking for?"
“Nothing in particular,” you hum as you peruse, “Curiosities of your friendly competitors.”
“Friendly,” he repeats, like he’s tasting a strange flavour.
You smile with just enough polished barb that you hope it bothers him. “Most cordial. And I am nothing if not the dutiful volunteer for the task." 
It is an objective truth that you are good at many things. Tom is good at all of them and perhaps one more: being pushed significantly and never showing symptoms of breaking. You'd like to be the one to change that.
“I presume you intend to leave with something?" There's a challenge in his voice, clear as day, as he stands straighter, but — not bothered. Not bothered, just intrigued. His hands fold behind his back and his chin comes up, daring you to say a single snarky thing that isn't true — that you're here to taunt him. Not to buy a thing, and not to enjoy his company.
It was such a boring day before this. If he only knew, he might have a tad more sympathy.
“Breathe, Riddle — if you can through all the dust in here — I've plenty of money to spare; there’s no need to fret about me leaving empty-handed." You select a book at random to prove your point, waltzing closer to hand Tom four sickles from your coin purse.
You're pleasantly surprised to see him actually smile, the corners of his mouth stretching with only the slightest degree of mirth. He reaches out and takes the coins, setting both upon the counter before turning up his nose at the book in your hands. “It must be an enthralling read to capture your attention."
You smooth the cover over with manicured hands and shrug at the indecipherable title. “Well, I’m remiss not to have a clue. I believe it's in Latin."
He runs his hand along the book, thumbing the pages with a raised brow. “It’s a history text. Ancient Roman institutes of magic.” His gaze returns to you. “Will that be all?”
You roll your eyes. He would know a dead language — it's such a remarkably Riddle thing to do — probably just for the sake of knowing it. 
“Yes, if that's satisfactory enough that I may be permitted to walk the premises without causing offence."
“Of course. Though I do expect a review of it soon," he adds, “to know whether my time hasn't been entirely wasted."
“A review?" You laugh. “And I suppose you ask that of all your customers? Mind the matter of it being in a language I don't know; it would take me a few months for a crude translation at best."
“Only my best customers," he says with a small shrug, as if that isn't a completely arbitrary standard he's just pulled out of nowhere. “In that case, you've the better part of a year to read it," he adds, and the smile on his face is less thin, less restrained, more cocky.
You raise a brow, scanning over the words on the first page as if hoping something will stick out. It's all gibberish. “I'm being timed now, am I? I don't recall accepting the task."
"Do you not?"
You scoff. "Of course I do."
“Or perhaps I could translate for you?" he suggests, “It's really no bother for me."
You should be offended — he's eternally eager to see you fail — but your stomach flips at the premise of a challenge you haven't felt since you were in school together, and most importantly, you never fail. “Give me a date, Riddle.”
“I think by Christmas would be fair. Does that give you enough time, or shall I set it a bit later?"
“Christmas," you agree, shaking his hand with all professionalism you can muster (this is, after all, a very professional exchange), turning away, and smiling to yourself as the shop bell tolls again.
It’s only weeks before Christmas when it occurs to you that this isn’t even for anything. There’s no prize should you win, no one else is aware of it, it’s a great waste of time when what began as a passable weekend hobby has now drowned you in English-Latin dictionaries and histories of Ancient Rome. The shop surpasses last year’s sales and you’re dozing off into your mother’s pastry dish during the family celebration. Even your father telling a rather pitiful tale of his Polyjuiced visit to Borgin and Burkes can’t keep your attention when he drones on about how easily he fooled Mr Borgin into remembering the details of some spat twenty years ago. Your brain is in a half-scattered language. It tugs you to what might be the most depressing December 25th of your life if you’re forced to give Tom the gift of your failure.
So you double-down. Your social life is nonexistent. You’re three quarters through the textbook and dreaming about duelling Tom under the Arch of Constantine, and he wins, and he wins, and he wins each time. It only propels you more. You’re downing Invigoration Draughts like a drunkard with a cradle of firewhisky. 
And you do it. 
You finish the damn book, you think you might have actually fucking learned Latin with how deep the words have rooted in your skull, and you win.
You win, in your prettiest dinner dress, snow clinging to your hair, wrapped in a brand new coat as the shop bell tolls and you step inside.
You’re grateful you don’t say as much (which you were planning on doing — planning on slamming the door shut behind you and carolling your bloody success) because it’s Mr Burke at the counter this Christmas evening, not Tom.
“...Miss?” He regards you with perplexity behind the counter.
You blink, recollecting yourself and stepping forward to shake his hand. “Mr Burke. My family wished to extend their best wishes for the new year.”
“Quite a gesture," comes a familiar voice from behind you as Tom steps out from the staircase, dressed in a dark suit and overcoat, like he’s just been out. He’s smiling. He looks disgustingly well.
You glance between the two men, and Burke bows curtly as if made aware of something he’d previously been warned of. “To yours as well, miss.” And then he’s off to assist the only other customer, an elderly woman in fur-lined green with so many glittering pins in her hair she resembles a Christmas tree.
“Riddle,” you say, facing him, unable to hide the triumphant grin that digs into your cheeks. You hand him the book, and atop it, your three pages of articulate, edited review.
“You made it. You read it," he acknowledges, though you doubt he’s surprised, and then nods to the stairs. “Come.”
You follow him up the narrow spiral into a short corridor, taking one look back at the old woman, now clasping a shrieking bauble you gladly turn away from. The door Tom opens is unlocked, presumably where he’d just come from, and — you feel a bit overwhelmed if you’re correct, but you have no idea what else it could be — presumably his flat.
When you enter, the door shuts behind you with an empty click of the latch. The room before you is rather sparse, a kitchenette in one corner, a cramped study in the other, with books upon books and scrolls stacked high on shelves along the dark walls. There's only the barest of seating, two armchairs beneath a dim desk lamp, a small table beside the fireplace, and… a bed, of all things, separated only by a thin divider and the courtesy of enough distance not to immediately draw the eye. You, of course, can't quite help it, gaze lingering on the tidy sheets and back to him.
It isn’t a thought you do well to dwell on. Too many directions for your imagination to roam.
“Well then," you say, hanging your coat at the door and trying not to display any overt anticipation as the parchment rustles in his hand, “Shall I just sit and await your evaluation?"
He raises a brow. “I was going to ask if you’d like tea. Do sit, though.”
Oh. Yes, right, you’re rushing things. Hospitality. Decorum. Consideration. You suppose Tom Riddle would extend those things for the sake of posterity if nothing else. “Something black, if you have any, please.”
The water comes to a boil quickly under the steady heat of his magic, and you’re sinking into a shockingly comfortable armchair taking in every shape and blemish of the room while you’re in it. You don’t have to guess that he doesn’t have many guests.
“Darjeeling,” Tom says as he offers you a steaming cup, “if that’s satisfactory.”
You resist a scowl at his mocking tone, placing the tea on a glass coaster and glancing purposefully at your work (your magnum opus, really) once more. “Perfectly.”
Tom notes your look with a smile, settling into the seat opposite yours. 
You take a sip of tea and lean back. “Do go on.”
“Eager,” he mutters, but begins.
He skims over the opening line before flipping the book open as if to be sure you haven’t made it all up, and then you think you probably could have made it all up if you wanted. Read one of the hundreds of magical histories of Rome that certainly existed — probably in your own shop, at that — and gathered much the same conclusion. But you did not. Tom must know you did not. 
The silence is thick as he reads, waned only by the crackle of the fireplace and the occasional turn of a page. His brows furrow the way you always remember catching in school, like he's concentrating on a particularly hard puzzle, and you have to busy yourself with a nearly empty cup of tea to pretend not to notice the way his beauty is something almost delicate. Framed by firelight and the indigo gloss of the night shining in through the window, you imagine his hair mussed, his long eyelashes speckled with snow, his cheeks pink from the cold. You wonder about him in a nicer suit than this. You could buy him one, if you liked.
And then, at last, he looks up over the parchment, expression carefully measured. “I'm impressed.”
You put your cup down and you can’t help it. You're smiling. You're proud. His approval is like bottling the tail of a rainbow (which you’ve been told is possible), and it's a feeling that’s been absent from you for so long, it's never come from him — Merlin, you've always wanted it to come from him, haven’t you?
“You’re impressed?” you ask, as you love nothing more than to push. “Is that all?”
He loves nothing more than to keep his face impassive, but there’s a twitch there. Something you’re aware you can only spot because of how much attention you pay him. 
“I enjoyed your perspective on the Romans’ utilisation of firedrakes. It was well-thought.”
“Well-thought?”
“Quite good, yes.”
“Good," you say, grinning in the bulk of your triumph, “I suppose that means I win."
Win. You’re not winning anything but the implication that Tom is somehow losing. Still he does not break, and you think at seventeen he would have. At nearly twenty his smile just grows. “Have you ever done anything less?”
Is he pushing too? That could be fun.
“Oh, first year tribulations. Nothing since — you wouldn’t remember.”
“Hm, I do recall an unfortunate lesson with a matagot in Beasts, and that must have been, what—” He tilts his head as though to ponder it— “fourth year?”
You narrow your eyes. “Paid an ever-close watch on me, did you, Riddle?”
“As close as anyone else.”
“And by that you mean to say—?”
“Only that it’s a most fascinating custom, the matter of pureblood marriage. It was hard to avoid your name in a common room full of your particular politics.”
“Ah,” you hum, summoning the teapot from the kitchenette to pour another cup, “so my potential marital affairs are what drew your attention. And here I was thinking it was because I was the only person who could ever best you.”
He stops your tea mid-motion, and you still as he sends both the pot and the cup to the table beside you. “Can it not have begun as one and have become the other?”
“Well, your curiosity knows no end; I should be flattered by such multifaceted interest.”
“So you won’t mind my inquiring.”
“Whatever you wish, Riddle.”
“Upon the current status of your betrothal.”
You blink, and then laugh. “There is no betrothal. At present.”
“At present. Is it subject to change?”
“There’s always talk,” you offer, and it offers impressively little.
“Elaborate...”
“I don’t know that you’re in any position to be making demands,” you gibe, “considering I paid four sickles to prove you wrong and I haven’t anything to show for it but my pride.”
He smiles. “Not enough to sate your desire to make me grovel, it seems.”
“You? Grovel?” You gasp, fingers circling your knee idly. “What a fascinating concept… Wait now, I’m trying to paint the picture.”
“Is that not what you came for?” he asks, and it’s odd to see him amused by the idea. You push and push and he just continues to take. “To prove me wrong? To puncture my pride?”
You shrug innocently, even though you’d just said as much. “I’m here to wish you a Merry Christmas.”
He laughs, a warm, quiet laugh — more of a breath than anything — but true if you can read him at all, and that’s a bit alarming. “Of course. Near nine months of exhaustive translation all to bid me a nice holiday. It sounds almost like grovelling, doesn’t it? Wait, now, I’m trying to paint the picture.”
You bite back your smile. Damn him. He’s never been funny before. That’s a problematic development.
“Fine.” Your legs are already crossed and now you’re crossing your arms too, and you look very reserved compared to his relaxed stature. “A match would, of course, need to be of good title.”
“Of course,” Tom says, without even an attempt at masking his amusement.
“And he would need to be rich.”
“Naturally.”
“It would help to be from one of the Sacred Houses.”
“I should not expect anything less.”
“And I suppose age is a factor,” you go on. You push, and push, and push. Tom is impervious. He takes.
“What age would do well?”
“Near enough to my own. For health, of course.”
“For health,” he agrees delightedly.
What the hell are you talking about?
“It would be preferable that he be handsome.”
“And of his character?”
“Most agreeable.”
“Docile?”
“Hm, docile, yes.”
“It is a long list.”
“I’ve been told I’m a difficult woman to sate. Far too prideful, apparently.”
Your fingers are drawing figure-eights on your thigh now, and Tom’s eyes flash briefly to the motion. You stop as though caught, and you aren’t sure why.
“A defamatory accusation,” he says quietly.
You wonder if his voice has always had that tinge to it: the gravel underlining his polish like the crack of the fire, and — that must be why it’s so warm in here, too. It has been that way since you arrived, hasn’t it? Such polarising temperatures between your walk in the snow to this, you must have only just adjusted… an hour after arriving. It’s completely logical.
“So there are talks,” you repeat, if only because you’ve blanked on all else.
“Well,” he says, eyes boring into yours in a way that makes you feel transparent, “I wish you all the best. If it at all helps, you can now add a moderate understanding of Latin to your list of virtues.”
You drape an arm across your chair to match his easy posture. (And how is it he manages to look regal and informal at the same time?) “My list of virtues? Elaborate.”
He shakes his head with a small smile and you point an accusatory finger at him. “Ah, ah, Riddle — I won, remember? And I indulged your inquiring regardless.”
His eyes narrow. “You do want me to grovel.”
“It’s Christmas.”
“I don’t believe that’s the purpose of the day.”
“And that matters to you?”
He leans forward, looking over you as if your supposed virtues will reveal themselves upon scrutiny. It’s a bit offensive, really. You’d hope he could find more than enough with one glance.
He settles, after a long moment where you feel almost bare, on, “Your pride is agonising.”
It’s — not exactly what you were hoping for. Not quite grovelling, by any definition, but then, what did you expect from him?
“Excuse me?”
“Your stockings are ripped at the calf.”
“Riddle—”
“Your lipstick may have stained my teacup. It is a shade I’m rather fond of, but I do not wish to see a trace of it left behind.”
“Quite good,” you say through gritted teeth.
“And I should not be agonised — incautious and unfettered at a sliver of skin or the gesture of your mouth —” You realise with horror that he’s speaking through something constrained too — “and yet I am.”
It’s — is that a confession? Have you broken him? Have you won again? Your stomach flips and it doesn’t feel at all like winning. He certainly doesn’t look like a man who’s lost. In fact, he’s watching you intently, and at your lack of response, the constraint forming a taut line on his lips seems to slip back into something deliberate. Curious.
You recover to the best of your ability. “It is a short list.”
“Shall I go on?” he asks, and it’s an answer, too: no, you have most definitely not broken him. He looks a bit like he’s found a neat pathway to breaking you instead.
“I’d hate to debase you further.”
He leans in, and he might be about to stand, and that might be an irreversible thing to do. “Are you sure? I can’t imagine you’ve painted the picture yet.”
Oh, you’ve painted the picture. You’ve painted a gallery.
“I find the image regrettable half-done. No point finishing it now.”
You do not.
“And besides,” you add, “I know my virtues.”
He smiles, and he’s half orange in the firelight and half blue in the night, green somewhere in the middle, and he should be condemned for being this beautiful. “Elaborate.”
You shouldn’t. “I’m intelligent.”
“Mhm.”
“I’m a quick learner.”
“So I’ve seen,” he agrees, still leaning in.
“I’m good at my job.”
And then he stands.
It is an irreversible thing. Your heart lurches like it knows he’s going to do something that cannot be undone. Your heart lurches because it is a thing you’ve anticipated, quietly, on late nights in scrolls of Latin so you might be able to pretend to mistranslate them — you know, in your first tongue and any other, that you do not want it to be undone.
“Anything else?” he asks. You aren’t sure if you’re resentful of the proximity of his seat to yours or grateful for it, because it takes no time at all for him to be standing before you.
“I’m well-mannered,” you say, and it comes out quieter than you mean for it to. “Lettered in etiquette.”
“Etiquette," he repeats slowly, in a voice dripping with sarcasm, and you don't quite know how he manages an intonation like that, but there it is, dripping with so much contempt you’re surprised he doesn’t fall over.
It wouldn’t be terrible if he did. He’d land right on top of you and put this little game to rest.
Instead he reaches a hand to your cheek — your hair — and brushes it like it’s an absolutely standard thing to do. He pulls away just the same. As if his hand is familiar with the shape of your face because it’s been there before. You'd definitely remember if it had.
“Of course,” you breathe, “patience and pleases and thank yous.”
“In all your manners, you might provide an example.”
Fine. If he’s going to be difficult. “I’d say I’m displaying great patience right now.”
“Hm.” His hands find yours where they sit on either arm of your chair, and his figure is blocking all light now. It shines on his shoulders, casts him like an aura. “That’s one.”
You look at his lips, and don’t bother to look away. You incline forward as much as you can when you’re caged in like this, until his breath is on yours and you can smell his cologne.
“Please,” you say, and for the challenge in it you don’t feel too humbled.
He is most obliging.
His lips just barely brush yours at first, and you did say you were patient — so you wait. The feather-light touch of them stills before it deepens, his hands pressing down on yours. Your open mouth. His tongue. You're kissing him, breathlessly and frantically and completely, and it is all you want.
Tom pulls back and you instinctively push forward. You will your eyes to open and he’s still right there — he hasn’t gone anywhere (what a deranged concern that is) — lips an inch from yours, and he’s smiling.
“That’s two.”
Oh. Oh, he’s an aberration in human variance. There’s something incredibly wrong with him.
There isn’t a way of turning gratitude into a challenge, you think. It doesn’t ask for anything. It appreciates. In this case it would more closely resemble worship. Thank you for your kiss, Riddle, I’d be nothing without it.
So you search to find a way around it that still gets you what you want.
“I’ll need a bit more than a lousy kiss if you want to see me grovel, Riddle." Your voice is a bit rough. You don’t know that your confidence lands the way it typically does.
But you came here to — what was it — puncture his pride? Push him until he breaks? You’ve already made it halfway, and you are, after all, very good at it.
And you suppose he wants to earn the third, because he scowls and then he’s kissing you again and this time his hands are on your face, and perhaps they are somehow familiar with the shape because they fit around you in some inexplicably whole way, like they were made for it. With your hands free, you’re carding your fingers through his hair, hoping for that vision of him you imagined earlier, with thick, messy waves and flushed cheeks.
Tom brings a hand to your waist and tugs you in, and you’re partly pulled from the chair by his insistence and overwhelmingly pushing to get out of it yourself, lips never leaving his as you stumble past the meagre divider to his bed.
The backs of your thighs hit the footboard and your knees buckle, gasping away from Tom’s mouth as you reach for the bedpost. His breath is heavy as his hand curves to the small of your back to keep you steady, your dress bunched in his fist, and there’s a heat in him pressed against you, like a match being held to kindling. And in the flash of fire when it finally strikes, everything in his eyes is clear, singularly focused, and he's pushing you to your back, splayed across his tidy sheets as he kisses you with bruising ferocity.
There's an urgency now to his movements that wasn't there before, and it's a stark contrast to his usual calculated demeanour, but that feels like winning. That feels like breaking Tom Riddle, whittling years of practised constraint to… this. That draws the third: makes you nice and grateful like he asked, because no part of you wants his careful fortitude here. You want to ruin him.
He appears to want the very same from you, which wrecks the whole thing.
Your legs move to wrap around him and he stops you, one hand pinning you by the hip and then down, past where you think he’ll go, as he finds the hem of your dress and lifts it from your calf to your knee. He draws circles over the thinly-clothed skin and you can do nothing but lie there, panting a little, staring at him with less patience than you’d proclaimed to have. And then his fingers move upwards, and they’re drawing figure-eights, and you understand that if this isn’t a taunt, nothing is. He copies your earlier motions. He does not kiss you. His fingers trail higher and higher and they’re soft like the shadows framing his face.
Finally he finds the waistband of your stockings and begins to tug them down your hips, stopping when he reaches that sliver of skin revealed by a tear in the fabric, taking your leg and hiking it up so he can look closely. He smiles, finger sliding down the tear in such a precise, meticulous fashion you can’t help but think he’s doing it on purpose. The moment does not linger when he pulls away, shuffling your stockings down the rest of the way so your legs are unclad before him, your heels already kicked off somewhere across the floor.
He watches your sharp exhale when he ducks down to kiss the skin of your thigh. A shiver runs through you at his softness, another when you see his face, see his eyes go dark with want of you.
His constraint is back, and it’s fucking detrimental. The only silver lining you can find in it, and you hope to be correct (haven’t you been so far?), is that maybe that means Tom Riddle can be broken in litany. Maybe he amends his ruination now but you can carve it out of him again later.
“Come here,” you say, your voice ragged.
Tom frowns, one hand pursuing a dangerous path up the inside of your thigh. “And here I was under the impression you wanted me to grovel.”
“Oh,” you huff, “is that what this is? Not some feeble attempt at winning after I —”
You grip his hair as his fingers curl under the lace of your underwear, as he smiles at the dampness there, the way your argument dissipates beneath his touch. “Winning?” he derides, breathy to match your tone in a way that feels cruel rather than considerate. You nod even as your breathing accelerates and he lifts the skirt of your dress to rest over your thighs, his eyes darting between your legs and your own heavy gaze as if he can't decide which is more intriguing. And then he slides a finger across your heat and you think he’s made his choice. "Is that what you think I want?"
You blink, feeling a bit lost. "What else is there?"
“Will you thank me after this?”
Right. That. You swallow, head falling back on his pillow. “Doubtful.”
“Hm,” he mumbles, some kind of consideration that can only be answered by the movement of his fingers against you, slow as they seek to learn you.
You arrest the moan that rises in your throat, teeth clenching together as Tom climbs over you once more, his body keeping you in place to watch the sustained details of your expression as one of his fingers dips inside you. You hiss, and his gaze burns into you, his mouth parted with a degree of awe and you think perhaps this is the picture he painted — you, under him, eyebrows pinched together as your hands scramble for purchase on his chest, fighting to remain intact.
But then his thumb brushes up against your clit and you let out a sound — half a moan, half a mewl. Tom doesn't give you a second to recover as his lips come down on yours again, hard, desperate, like he's trying to inhale you. And you let him, you take the little bit of ruin he surrenders in the great expanse of yours.
Even if you could quiet your noises you stand to think Tom would feel them, taste them, bite down on them like he does your lower lip, a second finger coiling into you. Your hand smacks at his wrist, clutching his arm with such intensity you can feel every sinew of his movement as he works away at you. Your legs are trembling, pressing around his waist an act of simultaneous resistance and desperation as you push upwards for friction and conquest.
You find both. Undeniable hunger — how he groans softly against your open mouth, how the imprint against your thigh is hard under his trousers, how he wants you.
His ministrations only intensify when your hand searches for the buckle of his belt, gripping your jaw like he needs to watch you fall apart before you can find parity in your desperation. It isn’t an impossible wish; your mind is hazy at the push and pull of his fingers, curving where his thumb draws ceaselessly on the other side, and you think, as much as you’re able right now, that he could succeed. But you force your eyes open to the space where your hand is wedged between your bodies, yanking hastily at his belt and sighing into his shoulder as it unfastens.
His trousers are unbuttoned, unzipped, and you’re arching into him with laboured pants even when your hand slips past them to find skin you've never travelled before.
Tom’s motions stagger when your fingers brush experimentally over his length, and you suddenly understand his ardent focus. You can’t help but stare at the way his jaw ticks, a hiss parting through gritted teeth, and the fact that you’re doing this to him is almost enough to push you over the edge. You grip him in one hand, and his fingers move again like some act of defiance, tightening his hold on your jaw. And then you’re pumping slowly, carefully, the only way you think to with the intention of pleasing him. Of weakening him.
He turns your head so you’re gasping into the pillow, neck exposed for him to press his mouth to. His teeth and tongue are on you and your hand slips from him for a moment as you shudder. Fuck him. This isn’t enough. You won't lose like this.
You tug at his waistcoat now, snapping open the buttons until the last few are clinging on by cheap threads. You’ll buy him that suit, you think. One that you can shrug off as fervently as you like without worrying about tearing the seams.
Your removal of his shirt is not aided by the swelling fire inside you, how the attention of his fingers has remained steady through your squirming and it feels like it’s culminating to something fatal. Your fingers grow shakier but don't stop their pursuit until every button is undone and you can soothe their trembling by pressing your palms against the warm expanse of his chest.
And then they’re back in his trousers, pushing them down his thighs as he continues to chip away at you. You bite back moans and blink through your dizziness.
Tom stops, and it might be more devastating than if he hadn’t. Your body is taut, a fine, thrumming wire spared a moment before snapping.
“More,” is all you say, tracing the shape of him through his briefs.
“More?” he asks. There’s a small mercy in the rasp within in his voice, the uncertainty despite himself. “I suppose that means I win.”
“Win?” 
His gall almost, almost pulls you back to reality. But he’s — he’s pulling his trousers further down and your body, like some separate entity to your mind, is flush against him when he’s finally free of all obstructions. 
“Mhm,” he hums, and almost-reality dwindles away into fucking nothing — disappears before your eyes when he brings his finger to his tongue and tastes you.
You tear him back to your mouth with a sound that so desperate your humility shouldn’t be able to take it but that's all gone now. His lips are wet and swollen and you’re adjusting yourself so his hips are lined with yours, and your head rolls back when he positions himself against your core and stays there.
“I win,” you breathe. “Everything else is just—”
He moves, hands on your waist as he presses ever-so-slightly inside you. You clutch wildly at his arms, your eyes wrenching shut.
“Look at me,” he says softly. His thumb caresses your cheek as if any act of his acts of tenderness are at all actually tender and not depraved requests for your resignation. 
You shake your head. “It’s ju-just—”
He sinks further, unhurried, and you feel like crying, your body clenching around him as the pressure deepens.
“Just what?” he asks, peppering kisses along your jaw.
“Just… um, just…”
“Hm?”
“I win... s’just… cheating…”
You feel him smiling against your neck, and then he detaches his lips to observe you, nodding with false sympathy. “You win.”
And he shifts himself forward so he’s pushed to the hilt. 
It’s a lie. It’s a lie as Tom holds you against him, carving kisses into your skin that burn, as you shudder a moan into the thick, hot air, as he begins to move rhythmically inside you, your fingers digging crescent moons into his spine and dragging.
You don't win.
If you are steel honed over years, it’s this moment that you melt, and you think if you were to be fused again it would be in a different shape.
And you mean that. You honestly feel liquified when he splits you slow like this, rolling his hips as you cling to him for strength like he isn’t the thing shattering you. 
You rock to meet him, you bury your nails in his back, you rest your moans with your teeth in his shoulder — whatever you can think to make this fair. Make true to your word. You are going to break, it's true, but you are going to break Tom Riddle too.
“Fingers,” you mutter, far too much of a demand for the way it almost stumbles into a sob, but Tom makes a strained sound in the back of his throat as if it gratifies him that you want it enough to ask.
“Thank me,” he answers on a harsh exhale.
You bite at his collar, shaking your head, but your legs are starting to shake and you wouldn’t ask if it was something you wanted — you mask it as an order because you need it. Because you imagine what he’s doing now combined with his thumb on your clit and it’s enough to make your abdomen clench just thinking about it.
Instead one of your hands forsakes the sweet curve of his muscles every time he thrusts into you so that it can snake between your own legs, and you mimic his earlier ministrations just long enough to drive a moan from your lips before Tom’s eyes dart from your lips, the rise and fall of your chest, to the hand missing from his back.
He grabs it with a scowl, pinning one wrist and then the other above your head.
“Stubborn,” he hisses, and he buries himself inside you like it's something personal, persistent in his strokes when his fingers finally rub over you how you wanted.
And you know you’ve done it when his head falls on your shoulder and you feel yourself tighten around him. His grip on your wrists is punishing. His mouth on your shoulder is stringent. He’s hard and full inside you and his fingers slide against you in delicate, torturous contrast. You know because it all stutters a bit when you pull him into a kiss, when you know you’re about to plummet into oblivion and he’s gripping you through it like you might steady him — like you aren’t the thing shattering him.
When you do, it’s something visceral. You think you might be spinning, or floating — screaming, maybe — spilling ill-mannered expletives in strings with his name because your hands are still trapped under his and your body can do nothing else. What you know, undoubtedly, is that you’re coming down from it for a long time, in a haze when you manage to breathe the words into his ear. “Thank you.”
Tom breaks. It’s the most beautiful you think he’s ever looked; eyebrows cinched and pink mouth parted, hair mussed like you wanted, neck tense as he stills inside you and you feel every part of him let go.
Your legs are too weak to cling to him through it, and you just pant under him, blinking languidly and in awe.
You stay like that for a long time.
He leans in when he finally pulls out of you, kissing you like one form of contact must be replaced with another. It's the same with his hands. He sinks into the space beside you and releases your wrists just to cup your face instead.
Yours come up instantly and shamelessly to his hair, craving nothing more than to curl your fingers through the dark mess of it. You trace the sharp shape of his cheeks, too, like his did to yours, like you need to memorize the lines of his expression and the heat of his skin before the world outside seeps in and it all goes cold.
But you pull away and you can't imagine it will.
There’s something in his eyes that feels new. Longing like he’s shed all pretence of acting like nine years of treading the lines of this rivalry has ever been anything but a pathetic display, like he knows you've shed it too. It makes you catch your breath to think this is what it feels like to be desired by Tom Riddle; that you desire him all the same; all this time.
“You know,” you say, and your voice sticks dry to your mouth, “I still win.”
He shakes his head. He smiles. You want terribly to kiss him again.
“I’ll just have to find something else to best you in, won’t I?”
You pretend like you’re considering it and not just staring at him. 
“I think by Christmas would be fair.”
2K notes · View notes
archival-arrival · 1 year
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nullvox, tacevox/tacetvox (latin)
nullvox -> null (nulla) = no, vox = voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
tacevox/tacetvox -> tace/tacet = silent, vox = voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
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siovox, siofoni, ochifoni/chorisfoni (greek(+latin))
siovox -> sio(siopilos) = silent, vox = voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
siofoni -> sio(siopilos) = silent, foni = voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
ochifoni/chorisfoni -> ochi = no, foni = voice / choris foni = no voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
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ochilogia/chorislogia, pagofoni, pagolexei/pagologia (greek)
ochilogia/chorislogia -> ochi = no, logia = words / choris logia = no words. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
pagofoni -> pago (pagomenos/pagoma) = frozen/freeze, foni = voice / pagomeni foni = frozen voice. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
pagolexei/pagologia -> pago (pagomenos/pagoma) frozen/freeze, logia = words / pagomenes lexeis = frozen words. a word/term for those who fall silent and arent autistic nor have some condition that causes mutism of any range. an alterative for "nonverbal".
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breelandwalker · 8 months
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Simple Spell - Full Moon Wish Jar
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Intent: To harness the power of the lunar cycle for the manifestation and fulfillment of wishes.
Materials:
Small Jar with tight-fitting lid
Chime candle & fire source
Oil for sealing
Herbs and Items representing your wish
Ideal Timing: Waxing or Full Moon
Find a clear space to work. Make sure it’s free of fire hazards. If possible, try to work near a window through which you can see the moon. (If you don’t have one, that’s all right too, since you’ll be setting the jar out for the moonlight when finished.) Light your candle, focus your intentions, and get to work.
Select herbs and trinkets which fit inside the jar to represent your wish. For example, if your wish is for money or prosperity, you might include coins or small craft gems. If your wish is for health, you might include vitamin pills or a charm representing medicine. Check your books for herbs or crystals that correspond to your wish as well. This is your wish - make the spell your own. The contents of the jar can be whatever you want.
Use the materials that resonate best with you, but remember that your focused intention is the most important component of all. If desired, you can write your wish on a dried leaf or a piece of paper to give the spell a clear direction to work in.
Some common plants associated with wish-making include:
Bamboo
Bay Leaf
Blue Violet
Dandelion Seeds
Dogwood Petals
Nutmeg
Peppermint
Sage Leaf (any color)
Sunflower Petals or Seeds
Once your jar is complete, drip three drops of wax from the candle into the jar and circle the mouth of the jar three times with the oil to seal the charm. Then cap the jar and seal it with wax. Leave your thumbprint in wax on top of the lid. Place the jar somewhere that it will be touched by the light of the full moon and leave it overnight.
The jar should work for about a month, or slightly longer if you’re working with a supermoon. When the next full moon rolls around, you can recharge the jar by leaving it out overnight again, or make a new jar with a new wish.
Recipe suggestions under the cut. (And if you like this spell, you'll love my books!)
Happy Witching! 🌕💜
Health, Wealth, & Happiness
Lavender
Rosemary
Rice
Bay Leaf
Juniper Berries
Apple Wood Chip or Apple Seeds
Seal with Breath
Protection
Rosemary
Basil
Sea Salt or Table Salt
Holly Leaf
Juniper Berries
Seal with Sage or Dragon's Blood Oil
Healing
Basil
Echinacea
Horehound
Lavender
Hyssop
Seal with Basil Oil
Luck & Success
Clover Blossom
Galangal Root
Rosemary
Sassafras
Allspice Berries
Seal with Amber Oil
Money-Draw
Rice
Allspice
Orange Peel
Juniper Berries
Rosemary
Seal with Orange Oil
Love
Rose Petals
Apple Wood Chip
Lavender
Basil
Cherry Blossoms or Cherry Stones
Seal with Rose Oil
Jinx Remover
Sea Salt or Table Salt
Coffee Grounds
Rosemary
Sage (any type)
Black Peppercorns
Seal with Vinegar
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comparativetarot · 1 year
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Knight of Pentacles. Art by St. Jinx, from the Reclaimed Earth Tarot.
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stevie-petey · 4 months
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episode one: MADMAX
Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.  “I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.  It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything. 
Summary: what does steve fear more ? you or the plague ? currently it's you, some guy with an awful mullet stares you down in the parking lot (gross), nancy invites you to a party from your nightmares, and you become an official unlicensed therapist for will. yay for junior year !
Rating: general, slight cursing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, descriptions of PTSD (slightly), swearing, and general angst and exhaustion
Words: 5.2k
Before you swing in: hello ! welcome back to the rewrite, hope yall are well :) heres chapter 1 of season 2 !!! so so so excited and ready to dive into this new season. things get a bit darker, feelings get even MORE complicated, and poor reader just really needs to take a fat nap and maybe some reassuring words. shes more angsty this season, so buckle up
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October 29th, 1984
You originally gave Dustin the phone number to Bookstrordinary in case of any emergencies.
Now, you’re really starting to regret it.
For the fifth time this week, Dustin calls you at work to beg for money. Him and the boys recently started going to an arcade that’s opened up in town and have spent practically every day after school there this year. Sure, you don’t mind loaning your brother a few quarters, but at the rate he’s going he’s gonna drain your next paycheck.
Just as you’re thinking this, the phone rings.
Right on cue.
Alex, your coworker, smirks. “How much do you think he’ll ask for this time?”
“If I’m lucky, only a dollar.”
“Will asked me for three tonight, so I wouldn’t jinx anything.”
You gape at Jonathan, who has started hanging around your job after school just to have something to do. “No fucking way.”
“Way,” he laughs, pointing towards the phone on the counter. “Answer before Dustin sends a drone our way.”
You sigh and pick up the phone, which is on its second round of calling, and put on your best customer service voice. “You’ve reached Bookstrordinary, may I ask who is calling?”
“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”
“Aw, I’m doing well tonight. Thanks for asking, Dustin.”
“I need five dollars.”
“Ya know, ‘please’ has such a nice ring to it.”
“... if I say please, will you give me the money?”
“No.”
Silence fills the other end. Alex and Jonathan are hunched together, trying to stifle their laughs. You send them a thumbs up, and they give you one back.
“You’re a horrible sister.”
“What!” You scoff at Dustin. “I think you owe me like, at least ten bucks now. Yet you don’t see me complaining.”
A loud groan, then an obnoxious scream. “I promise I’ll clean Mews’ litter box for a week straight if you just give me the money.”
“Tempting, and honestly I’d take you up on that offer, but I already spent my last paycheck on my Halloween costume. You’re outta luck.”
Dustin gasps. “You were gonna say no this whole time? You just wasted like, at least five minutes of my time! I could’ve been digging through the couch for coins by now!”
“Jesus,” you pull the phone away from your face as Dustin continues to shout. Jonathan lets out a loud cackle and Alex just shakes his head. “I can give you some money next week–”
The line cuts off. Dustin has hung up.
What a little shit.
“You remind me why I’m grateful I’m an only child.” Alex says, now walking from behind the counter to begin stacking some books. Technically your shift ended almost thirty minutes ago, but you and Jonathan prefer to hang around for a while. It’s rare to have some time with just the two of you (even if Alex is there as an unfortunate third wheel).
“Glad I can help.” You respond. Once he’s gone, you turn to Jonathan. “And you were right, Dustin indeed wanted more than Will’s measly three bucks.”
He laughs. “Figured as much. The look on your face was genuine disbelief when he asked.”
“Mhm, I’m scared these boys will turn into horrendous teens. The lack of gentlemen in Hawkins these days is astounding.”
“C’mon, I’d say I’m a gentleman. I mean, I’m riding on your bike pegs tonight to keep you safe.” Jonathan says, waving an arm in front of his body as if to present all his gentleman-ness to you.
“Sure, bee.” Although, he has a point. Joyce has the car tonight so she can drive Will to the arcade and Jonathan doesn’t like you biking home in the dark. After what happened last year, none of the Byers are particularly keen on letting their loved ones go off alone at night. So, to ensure your safety, Jonathan has started riding on your bike pegs all the way home.
It’s endearing really, wholly unnecessary, but endearing.
Jonathan flicks your nose. “Who else would be such a gentleman to you? Steve?”
Hearing Steve’s name sends a wave of varying emotions through you. Guilt, shame, remorse, longing. You miss him. You really, really miss him.
“I thought we agreed to stop talking about Steve.” You mumble, now busying yourself with a piece of paper on the counter.
After Will was found last year, you and Steve had gotten really close. He’d spend hours bugging you at work, he’d gotten you such a lovely Christmas gift that still hangs on your wall, and you’d grown close with him in a way you haven’t before with anyone else. He would’ve done anything for you, he cared about you with such genuineness, and you couldn’t handle it.
Summer came and the heat that came with it scared you.
You’d pushed Steve away, severed any connection you had to him. It was easier when you didn’t have to see him every day at school, but ever since junior year started, you’ve been in your own personal hell.
Steve walks past you in the halls without batting an eye. He doesn’t look your way, like the months you spent learning every inch of his wonderfully unique brain and the moles scattered along his face never happened; he doesn’t give you that smile that makes your knees weak. He’s avoided you like the fucking plague, which you can’t blame him for, but it’s only made things more awkward between him, Jonathan, Nancy, and you.
Jonathan sighs. “I’m sorry, bug. I just… he seemed good for you, ya know? I was actually starting to like the guy before you suddenly stopped hanging around him.”
You play with the piece of paper, hoping that if you don’t respond then Jonathan will just drop the subject, but a thought seems to cross his mind.
“Wait a minute. Steve didn’t like, hurt you or anything, right?” You don’t respond again and now he’s starting to get worried. “Y/N, I’m serious. Did he do something to you?”
The irony of the situation is so comical you want to laugh. Here Jonathan is, demanding to know if Steve hurt you and if that’s why you’ve stopped being his friend, when in reality it’d been Jonathan who hurt you. Jonathan, your oldest and dearest friend, is the reason you’re so fucking terrified of letting Steve in. Of falling in love with him.
You’re already in love with Jonathan, you can’t put yourself through any more hurt.
But fuck, you miss Steve. You’d come to rely on him and his obnoxious sense of humor that never failed to make you laugh. The way he so effortlessly filled the room with warmth.
“Relax, bee. He didn’t do anything. I just wanted to focus on Will and the boys more.” You lie through your teeth.
He gives you a funny look. “I know you care about the boys, but you know they’d want you to have some other friends.”
“I have you, that’s all I need.”
It’s all I can afford.
“Bug, I’m worried about you. You’ve all but thrown yourself into school, you work non stop here, and when you finally have some free time you’re spending it researching child psych for Will–”
“Just drop it, Jonathan!” You finally snap at your friend.
He stops, surprised by your outburst. He can see the angry flush in your cheeks now and the slight heavy breathing you do to try and calm yourself down. Jonathan drops his shoulders, defeated. He’s been worried about you ever since junior year started. You’re more withdrawn, you look like you haven’t slept at all, and now you don’t even feel comfortable telling him what’s been bothering you.
All Jonathan knows is that one day you were glowing while telling him a story about Steve and his stupid jokes, then the next day you looked frail and sickly as you told him that Steve was no longer visiting you at work.
Something happened between you two, he’s just not sure what or how to even help.
For once, Jonathan is at a loss.
“And then she chased Mike all the way down the street for her money! He got away!” Jonathan finishes his story with a grand flourish, laughing and hitting his steering wheel as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.
You let out a weak laugh, exhausted from the night before. It’s early morning and you’re in the school parking lot, hanging in Jonathan’s car as always, and you feel like utter shit. You stayed up late last night reading this journal you’d found in the school library about acute trauma in children. It had been fascinating and there were some things you thought could apply to Will. Before you knew it, it had been three in the morning and you needed to be up soon for school.
Which leads you to now: slouched in the passenger seat, sunglasses over your eyes to block out the annoying sun, tiredly listening to Jonathan’s recounting of his phone call with Nancy from last night. Apparently they’ve progressed to nightly phone calls now.
Lovely.
Without meaning to, your eyes start to drift shut. The car is the perfect cozy kind of warm and the late October air wraps around you as if to lull you to sleep. Jonathan notices you’ve gone quiet and pokes your cheek.
“If you fell asleep I’ll tell your mom and she’ll put you back on house arrest.”
You slap his hand away. “Don’t do that, then she’ll just ban me from your house.”
“You were up all night researching again, weren’t you.”
“If you have to ask, then that’s probably your answer.”
“Y/N–”
You put a finger up, using your other hand to rub at your temples. A headache is forming and you’re three seconds away from just skipping first period to nap in the car. “We aren’t doing this again. Drop it.”
Jonathan rolls his eyes. “I’m your best friend, it’s my job to worry about you–”
“And it’s my job to tell you to fuck off whenever you’re getting on my nerves–”
Suddenly a loud blue camaro comes speeding into the school parking lot, effectively drowning out whatever you’d been saying to Jonathan. The car revs its engine and almost hits a few students as it jerks its tires and then screeches to a halt, parking right next to you guys.
You and Jonathan look at each other.
“What the fuck?” You look out your window and are greeted with the sight of an attractive blond guy staring at you. His music is blasting so loud you can hear it through Jonathan’s windows.
“Jonathan,” you whisper, getting his attention. “Am I really tired or is there a guy with a god awful mullet staring at me right now?”
“He’s real.”
“Cool.” You continue to stare at the guy, unsure what to do. You’ve never seen him before, there’s no way you’d forget a face like that in Hawkins. He’s attractive, almost unappealingly attractive, and there’s a coldness to his beauty that makes you uncomfortable. He looks dangerous, like he knows how much power his beauty brings him.
The boy winks at you, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth, and then gets out of the car, slamming his door rather harshly. It’s then that you notice the redhead girl, much younger than him, possibly around Dustin’s age, getting out of the car as well. She slams her own door and doesn’t even spare the guy a glance as she drops her skateboard down and rides towards the middle school across the parking lot.
Meanwhile the boy saunters inside, a lazy pace in his step that also holds immense confidence. He’s cocky, cool and collected, and he takes one last look around, as if to survey his new claimed battleground. You notice a few of your classmates gazing at him with interest, which you don’t really understand. He’s hot, but his attitude alone tells you everything you need to know about him.
Once he’s gone, Jonathan finally speaks. “Who was that guy?”
“No clue,” your eyes linger on the doors he’s just walked through. There’s something off about him. “But I don’t think we want to know… C’mon, if we don’t head in now we’ll be late for our first class.”
During your lunch period everyone’s buzzing about some upcoming Halloween party. As you’re walking towards your locker with Jonathan, you notice a few pieces of orange paper being passed around. You don’t pay much attention to them, but when Nancy joins you two she eagerly takes a few from the girl passing them out.
Nancy playfully shoves the papers at you and Jonathan. “You guys are totally coming to this.”
“We are?” You ask, eyeing the flyer wearily. You have nothing against parties, but the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of drunk teenagers in horrible costumes is frankly terrifying to you.
“You sure are, Y/N.”
“But Nancy–”
“‘Come and get sheet faced’.” Jonathan reads aloud. “Yeah, Nance. I think we’ll pass.”
Nancy groans. “I can’t let you guys sit all alone on Halloween. That’s just not acceptable.”
“Actually,” you correct her, annoyed by the assumption, “we have a tradition with the boys. We take them out every year to trick or treat and it’s always been fun. We won’t be ‘alone’.”
“No offense, Y/N, but spending Halloween with a bunch of middle schoolers isn’t much better.”
You make a face and look over at Jonathan for help, but he shrugs. “You gotta admit, it is kinda lame.”
“I can’t believe you’d betray me like this–”
Nancy smiles at this. “See? Plus, I doubt trick or treating with the boys will take all night. You’ll be home by 8:00, and Jonathan will be listening to the Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut or something, while you, my dear Y/N, will be baking a fresh batch of cookies and throwing away all the candy corn you find.”
“Sounds like a nice night.” Jonathan responds, and you nudge your shoulder with his. It does sound like a nice night, one you’re looking forward to.
“I forgive you for your earlier betrayal.”
“Guys!” Nancy stops at her locker now, slight frustration in her voice. “Just… Come on! I mean, who knows? You guys might meet someone and–”
Her words are cut off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted in the air and spun around, Steve having snuck up behind her. Nancy now puts all her attention on him, he has his arms wrapped low on her waist and he’s wearing sunglasses inside like some idiot, and your heart hurts. He looks good, too good.
Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.
“I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.
It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything.
Steve, as if sensing what you’re thinking, risks a look at you. Your eyes meet his and for a brief second no one else exists anymore. It’s just you and him in the small Hawkins high school hallway, where he’s yours again in a way that’s clouded with “almost” and “not enough”, and you want to tell him how lovely he is and how horrible you feel for hurting him, but then he diverts his gaze and focuses back on Nancy and you’re thrown back into reality.
He isn’t yours. Hell, he isn’t even your friend anymore, and you’re the one to blame.
Once Nancy and Steve start kissing, you share a disgusted look with Jonathan and silently agree to leave.
“Young love, huh?” Jonathan jokes bitterly when you’ve left them behind.
“I hate it.”
And you do.
You’re really starting to hate this whole “love” thing.
The only highlight so far this school year has been you and Will growing even closer. When Jonathan told you that Will started seeing the Hawkins Lab people for treatment and to see how he’s been recovering, you pulled Joyce aside later that night to ask if it’d be okay if you spoke with Will yourself. Since everything that happened last year, you’ve only become more interested in psychology, and you’d be lying if you said Will wasn’t an interesting case study.
You told Joyce that you’d been doing your own research, reading journals upon journals, and she made you a deal. You could help Will as long as you also took care of yourself, that you wouldn’t place an even heavier burden upon yourself. Of course you agreed, promising her you wouldn’t, and that’s how your weekly chats with Will began.
Jonathan had been against it at first, telling you that you didn’t have to worry about Will because you already do everything else for the kids. You told him you could handle it, and secretly you liked helping Will because you were able to pour all your anxiety and complex feelings for Steve into research and studying. It was a win-win in your eyes.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Waters had been extremely understanding when you asked for Wednesdays off. After all, you’d been working at Bookstrordinary for almost three years now, so she was quick to make the accommodation.
Now here you are, another Wednesday spent at the Byers’ home. You’re sitting with Will in his bed, the both of you quietly scribbling with his crayons. You’ve learned that he’s more receptive if you draw with him, if you take your time.
“How was Dr. Owens today?”
Will pauses mid-scribble. “Fine.”
“Just ‘fine’? Nothing else?” Your head is down so he doesn’t think you’re studying his reactions, but you keep an eye on him anyways.
“Yeah. I told him about my latest episode.”
“You had another one? Would you like to tell me when?”
Will thinks for a moment, and you tell him that he of course doesn’t have to say anything if he doesn’t want to.
“Last night. I was back in the Upside Down… and there was this… this thing.”
Now you stop drawing. “Like the monster we killed last year?”
“Different,” he shakes his head. “This thing was evil.”
Will’s eyes are darting everywhere around the room, and you can see his growing unease, so you decide to put the topic to rest for now. Clearly the episodes are getting worse, scaring him more, so you shift gears.
“Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry for the episodes, but besides them how have you been feeling? Is school getting any better?” Earlier this month Will had confessed to you about the kids in school calling him “zombie boy” and treating him like a freak. You did your best to comfort him, and once you finished your chat with the boy you’d gone to Joyce to let her know.
Will sighs. “School is… school.”
You reach out and move some hair out of Will’s face. “I’m sorry, little bee. Middle schoolers are idiots, they’ll never understand how much you went through. I mean, I had to face that monster for only about twenty minutes. You had to hide from it for days, so you’re honestly incredibly braver than me.”
This gets a smile out of Will, which you’re relieved by. He’s been quiet lately, more closed off, and you’re worried that with the one year anniversary coming up, his episodes will only get worse.
A knock on the door, and then Jonathan pokes his head in. “Hey, guys. Mind if I join?”
“Actually, I think I should go. Bob’s been begging me for my cookie recipe, so I’ll leave you two alone.” You send a look Will’s way, a you better talk to your brother about this look, and he weakly nods his head.
As you walk past Jonathan out the door, you lean in close to Jonathan and whisper, “he’s struggling at school. Be gentle, kids can be fucking awful.”
He nods and squeezes your hand, silently thanking you, and you close the door behind you. While you want to help Will, make sure he’s adapting well, you also recognize your limits. He’s not your brother, Jonathan is, and you know he’ll be more open with him.
Joyce is in the kitchen with Bob, making some popcorn over the stove. He’s filming her with his ridiculously large camera and you can’t help but smile as you watch them. Joyce looks so happy around the guy, laughing more than she’s laughed in the last five or so years you’ve known her. She deserves this, she deserves a guy like Bob. Sweet, slightly silly, but good.
When Joyce sees you lingering in the doorway, she waves you in. “Hey, honey. Any luck with Will tonight?”
“A bit, he told me some of what’s happening at school. He still seems… off, but at least he was opening up. It’s a good sign.”
Joyce hums, but you can sense that there’s more on her mind. You look around to make sure Bob isn’t near, he’s busy digging through a cabinet to find a clean bowl, so you move closer to the woman and lower your voice. “What did Dr. Owens say this time?”
“Claims we need to just pretend everything is okay, despite the fact that it’s getting worse.”
There’s an edge in Joyce’s voice, so you’re careful with your words. “Well… I think he’s right.”
“You do?” Joyce turns to you, her voice loud with surprise, before she quickly remembers Bob is near and lowers it again. “Why do you think that?”
“I was up late reading a new journal I found about acute trauma in children. It’s been almost a year since Will disappeared, he spent days in complete fear, almost died… I mean, it makes sense that his body is remembering those traumatic effects.”
“So you think we should just leave Will alone, let him suffer through his episodes without any help?” There’s more confusion and fear than anger in Joyce’s voice, and you rest your hand against her arm.
“I know it seems counterintuitive, but the best studies we have all show that we have to let those who suffer from post-traumatic stress adapt at their own pace, through their own ways. They hate feeling pitied, and I have a feeling Will is starting to as well.”
Joyce turns the stove off and shakes her head at you. “You sound like Hop. I thought you hated the guy.”
“I don’t hate him,” you chuckle, now helping the woman peel off the foil and sprinkle some salt onto the popcorn. “He just reminds me too much of my dad, and we all know how that ends.”
“Well if you ask me, I think it’s because you two are so similar.”
You gasp. “How dare you!”
Joyce laughs and the seriousness from the previous conversation dissipates. Bob finds a clean bowl and together you and him pour the fresh popcorn in as Joyce prepares the drinks. They’re having a movie night together, and you want to cry because of how adorable it all is. Joyce deserves this.
“You know you’re welcome to join us tonight, Y/N. It’s Will’s turn to choose the movie.” Joyce tells you, but you politely decline.
“Normally I’d love to, but I should get going. I have some homework and I promised Dustin I’d bake him some Halloween treats.”
“Oh!” Bob turns to you. “Speaking of, you promised you’d give me that recipe of yours!”
You and Joyce share an amused look. “You caught me, I did. I’ll write it down right now and you have to swear that no one else will look at this. Deal?”
Bob nods, ecstatic, and you grab a piece of paper and quickly scribble down all the ingredients he’ll need and how to make the cookies. Joyce watches fondly, and you fill with warmth having pleased her. When you’re done, you hand the paper over to Bob and make him cross his heart, just to be extra sure he won’t reveal all your secrets.
“Scout’s honor!”
“Very good then, soldier.” You salute him, and then pull Joyce into a hug. “I really gotta go now. Can you tell Jonathan I said goodbye?”
“Of course, bike home safe, alright?”
You wink at her. “Scout’s honor.”
Bob lets out a loud cackle and you can’t believe that this guy is real, but Joyce is laughing along with him and you’re pleased she’s found someone as endearing and kind as him.
As soon as you get home you throw down your backpack and bunker down at the kitchen table. Your mom isn’t back from work yet and Dustin seems to be off somewhere doing god knows what, so it’s just you and Mews for now.
Mews plops herself on the table next to an essay you’ve been working on and you scratch her head as you work. You get lost in your writing, humming softly to yourself, enjoying this small moment of peace.
You won’t admit this to Jonathan, but he’s right. You’ve been overworking yourself, your body aches and your eyes droop with exhaustion almost every day now. But keeping yourself busy is what’s helping you stay afloat. The more you pile onto yourself, the less time you have to think about Steve and his stupid smile and stupid hair and stupid face.
In the middle of one of your sentences, Dustin flings the front door open and scares you. “Jesus, dude!”
He doesn’t spare you a glance, but when he sees Mews on the table with you he suddenly looks a bit alarmed. “Mews is here?”
“Yeah…? She’s helping me with this english essay.” You respond, confused.
“Huh,” Dustin thinks for a second, but seems to shrug it off. “Anyways, I’m home.”
“I can see that.”
“Are you gonna ask about my day?”
“How was your day, my dear brother.”
Dustin hops onto the table and shimmies his shoulders. “I met a girl.”
“What?” You drop your pencil in shock and Mews scatters, your exclaim having frightened her.
“Don’t act too surprised, geesh.” Your brother rolls his eyes, but then he frowns. “Actually, technically speaking I haven’t met her yet, but–”
“You have a crush?” You’re in shock. In your eyes, Dustin is still a baby, no older than six years old. And yet here is he, thirteen and talking to you about a girl.
“Yes, Y/N. Her name is Max, she has red hair and is new, and she’s totally awesome.”
Red hair? You remember seeing that girl in the parking lot earlier today. “Was she with that weird new guy, the one with a mullet?”
Dustin nods, so you poke him in the stomach and ooh at him. “I saw her this morning, she was prettyyyy.”
He shoves your finger away and blushes, which you find adorable. Dustin’s first ever crush, you can’t believe how old he is now.
“Yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s also just awesome. I think she’s the one with the new high score on Dig Dug.”
“Dig Dug?”
Your brother scoffs. “The arcade game the party always plays? Honestly, do you not listen when I tell you about my days?”
“Alright, fine. If you can remember what I told you I did yesterday, then I’ll apologize for not listening better.”
Dustin closes his mouth, unable to recall a thing.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” You flick his hat. “Anyways, since you officially like girls now, I’ve been dying to give you some girl advice.”
“Y/N–” Dustin groans, but you shush him.
“First things first, always be a gentleman. Max does indeed seem cool, but I’m sure she’d appreciate a nice and polite young man like yourself.”
Dustin nods. “Okay, be kind. Got it.”
“Good. Now secondly, we Hendersons are charming people, so just be yourself.”
“Duh,”
“Lastly, if she shows interest, tell her how you feel. Better you’re honest and true about how you feel rather than hide it and sulk.”
Dustin snorts. “Says you.”
You look away from him, slightly hurt. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“C’mon, Y/N. When are you gonna tell Jonathan you love him? I mean, everyone knows you do, it’s about time you confess.” Dustin drones on, unaware of your hurt feelings. “And he’s obviously in love with you, you guys are disgusting to be around–”
“He doesn’t love me back.” You whisper, looking down at your paper. You feel pathetic, confessing this to your little brother.
Dustin freezes, now realizing you’ve gone quiet. He can feel your mood darken and he feels like shit for not noticing it sooner. He’s upset you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he did, I mean the party and I all assumed…”
His words fade off, and you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s embarrassing, you shouldn’t be pitied like this by your brother. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”
“Y/N–”
You get up from the table and gather your things, shoving them into your backpack. “I’m gonna finish up this essay in my room, then I promise I’ll start baking those marshmallow puffs you like–”
Dustin jumps down from the table and blocks you from leaving the kitchen. “Jonathan is an ass–”
“Language–”
He doesn’t let you interrupt. “You’re cool, he’s stupid, and I’m here for you. Alright? Don’t make me pull a code blue on you.”
You wrap your brother into your arms, something he hadn’t been expecting, and allow yourself a small laugh. “No need for a code blue, I promise. Just, give me like an hour to sulk and then I’ll be as good as new. Okay?”
When you pull away, Dustin eyes you, but understands he won’t win this argument. The two of you handle your emotions the same way: alone, in solitude, away from prying eyes. He knows you just need some time to yourself, but he still feels like a jerk for upsetting you in the first place. “Fine, but if you’re sulking later I’ll flick your nose.”
You flick his nose and then quickly flee to your room, Dustin not far behind you. “Flicked you first!”
“Not fair!”
You slam your bedroom door and giggle as you lock it. Dustin bangs on the door, but you can hear the amusement in his voice. You tell him you’ll be out as soon as you’re done with your essay, and then go and sit down at your desk. Sighing, you dig into your bag and pull out what you need. Without meaning to, you look up and see your Spider-Man poster, your wonderful Christmas gift from Steve, hanging in front of you.
The small joy you’d been feeling vanishes.
The poster stares back at you, you can almost hear it calling you a pathetic coward, and you feel guilt claw at your throat. You close your eyes, remembering the cold from that winter day, and you can almost smell the cologne Steve had been wearing when you’d thrown yourself into his warmth. Sometimes, if you sit still enough, you think you can feel the ghost of his embrace.
You open your eyes.
Steve isn’t here.
Of course he isn’t here.
You exhale, feeling the familiar ache and exhaustion within you; junior year is looking quite grim.
-
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rafayelsss · 3 months
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THIRD TIME'S A CHARM! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ content: caleb x gn!reader, no y/n, can be read as romantic or platonic In which he tries to get you a plushie from the claw machines.
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“Why can’t you just get it yourself?”
Caleb questioned, holding back a chuckle at your little antics as you lead— no, shoved him towards the machine. The glass reflected just enough sunlight for your insistent pout to create an image of itself within it.
“What’s the fun in that? I wanna see how hard you’ll mess this up.” You replied cheekily, guiding his hands hurriedly to the buttons in front of him, watching as his fingers wrapped around the joystick and hovered over the buttons.
Caleb shook his head and pouted back at you. Its almost impressive how good he’s been at imitating your expressions throughout all these years, but ultimately, you knew it was all for the goal of teasing you better as time went on.
And you also knew he wasn’t one to back down from such a challenge. No matter how obvious that it was just your attempt to rile him up, he wouldn’t decline an offer to watch your face contort into defeat. Even if, by some miracle, you get the better of him (he swears its just your luck) the fun’s still there.
“Just you watch, pip-squeak,” He cracks his knuckles, a playful glint in his eye as he felt around his pockets, grabbing a coin and inserting it inside. “I’ll prove I’m still the best at these games. Which one do you want?”
You think it over for a moment, as Caleb looked at you expectantly.
“Pssst. There’s a timer, you know.” He whispered.
“Maybe you should have waited until you started then!” You’re met with an unapologetic, half-hearted shrug as you make up your mind and point.
You point randomly, the counting down on the little screen not quite helping your decision-making. His gaze follows your hand and he raises a brow. “The fox? Don’t you have one of those already?”
You give him a look to just hurry the hell up already. He knows he’s pushed his luck now, so he nods and pushes the claw forward and presses it to come down 10 seconds before the time could run out.
“Aaaaand…” Caleb leaned down slightly to watch the crane closely as it caught on the plushie’s round, chubby head. You both held your breaths as it neared the exit, only to slip out of its grasp, making a less than graceful thump as it fell.
A faint laugh escaped your lips as you turned back to him. “What did I just say?”
“Nope, I’m not taking it. I still have more to try again!” With newfound determination, he slipped in another coin before you could even react, hastily grasping the controls. He took his time to position the crane above the plushie carefully before letting it come down.
...And it just misses entirely.
Caleb was dumbfounded. He had that shot, like, perfectly calculated in his mind! The claw somehow overshot it!
You, on the other hand, were having the time of your life, giggling about on his failures as if he wasn’t just right beside you.
Caleb put his hands on his hips, narrowing his eyes at you. “Shush! It malfunctioned… Third times the charm!”
“Is it really though?” You replied, still a bit giggly from earlier.
“Don’t jinx it, pip-squeak…” With that, he tried once more, biting his bottom lip in anticipation as the claw came down for the third time. He’s surprisingly pretty serious on getting it this time. His focused expression is fixed on the plushie, its body successfully grabbed up, and slowly it moved, and moved and moved…
And slipped an inch away from the slot.
Caleb slowly blinked, until then stepping back and sighing in defeat. “This thing’s rigged.”
You smile and pat his back comfortingly, and he allowed himself to be dragged away from the claw machines with you to play something else. “Shh… Just admit you suck, Caleb.”
“I’ll redeem myself next time I visit, I swear!”
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