#john ambrose mcclaren imagine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

barcaavengers · 4 years

Text

Letting Go || John Ambrose McClaren || Part 2

Note: Its hereeeeee! Was going to only do two parts but then saw the chance for some angst so here we go! Thank you all for your patience! Don't forget to leave some feedback and see if I post part three whiiiich I'm working on! Heads up to @noxceleste and @dreamingspark !

The weekend went awfully fast and you haven't spoken to John after your little stunt confessing your feelings and you weren't looking forward to seeing him at school. So you decided to skip a few days with an apparent headache and strong pains of your shark week, that's how you called your lady days. You didn't bother texting him either because you remember he was organizing the Belleview dance with Lara Jean. It was probably too overwhelming for him. He wasn't done processing that Lara Jean was dating Peter and you were already blurting out that you liked him. Go you, right?

Today was that ball and you were contemplating on going. He had invited you before the whole mess and he didn't take it back...but would it be worth it? What would you do? Be awkwardly there with a dress...Oh God, you had to wear a dress...Did you even want to? Did he want to see you now? Would it be too awkward between you two? Probably. Most definitely, but it would be worth it to either fix things or see how it goes...

You decide to go out and at least make an attempt to find a good dress, but nothing that screamed you tried too much. You weren't much of a dress up person and it would see way too off for you. Same for makeup, you used the least you could and that was how it was going to be when you got ready.

As you drive by the stores, you decide to stop at a small diner and find Peter sitting by himself sipping on a soda with some fries on the side.

"Hey" you wave awkwardly at him to get his attention.

"Oh, hey! Y/N, right?"

"That would be me" you nod your head with a smile. "Waiting for Lara Jean?"

"Nah, her and I…we…." you arch an eyebrow and he shakes his head, "its complicated."

"You wanna talk about it? It looks like its bugging you" you were doing it with the best intentions, not for any other reason. Peter seemed like an active person, and seeing him by himself in the diner and not expecting anyone seemed weird to you even when you only knew him for maybe three or four hours.

"It is" he says and looks up at you before gesturing to the chair before him. "I don't want to annoy you though. It might be awkward since we barely know each other."

"Yet we have a lot in common" you say and shrug. "You don't have to if you don't want to. It just looked like you needed a friend" you offer him a sincere smile and he smirks.

"That helpless I look?"

"Well, to my eyes you do, considering that the first and last time I saw you you were very talkative and smiley and now you are not. I was expecting some sass at first hand."

"Nah" he chuckles and slides his glass to the side. "It's just…I messed up with Lara Jean and I didn't know how to handle things," he explains. "Gen is my ex girlfriend and ever since I started dating Lara Jean she kept looking for me and I was hung over her for a while until I fell for Lara Jean" he continues and you eye him, confused. "Sorry, important detail, Covey and I started fake dating to get to Gen and her to avoid one of her old crushes and it turned...real after a few months."

"How romantic" you tease.

"So I left things clear with Gen, but Covey found out that I was waiting for Gen at this ski trip instead of her after we had a fight, and now she knows I went to see Gen recently but it wasn't for any bad reason. She is going through some things that I went through and Covey thinks I'm cheating on her and I am not."

"So I'm guessing that she found out about this all together, right?" He nods. "She is probably overwhelmed, you know? So many things being found out at once about something you were suspicious about is not easy to handle even if it happened a while back" you assure him.

"Yeah, I know….but then there is McClaren around. I figured that he likes her and she seems to be loving the idea of it…I mean, I'm not a good boyfriend, clearly, and McClaren seems to give her the kind of relationship she may want…"

"Wait, what?" You frown. "What do you mean he is giving her the relationship?" Has John Ambrose not noticed your disappearance from his life because he was together with Lara Jean?

"He wrote her letters, like the letter she wrote to him, I'm sure you know about that. Um, planning the whole dance, going to this place to do the service. It's like...They have more things in common and she likes that" this time he frowns. "She just seems so happy…"

"And you will just let her go on with it? She chose you first, she fell for you when she didn't, I think...she is just confused…" you admit to him. "Feelings don't go away just like that you know? Trust me." Ah yes, how you wished to forget feelings just like that.

"McClaren got you too?" He asks and you nod your head. "He is charming" you both chuckle.

"Not to be that person, but he is dreamy. He is what most girls would want, but for what I've seen and heard, Lara Jean is no typical girl."

"She is not. I would know" he says smiling and the two of you stay silent for a moment, looking or playing with your drinks.

"You should try to explain things to her, not let anyone else do it or things will get even more complicated" you shrug. "I would be mad but I would rather have that person to explain to me what exactly happened, rather than someone else."

"You are probably right," he says and stands up. "You coming?"

Your hues look up at him, "What?"

"You gave me the pep talk to go to Lara Jean, so let's go so you can talk to McClaren."

"I-I don't think it's a good idea" you pause. "Plus I haven't even gotten a dress. John asked me to go before everything happened..."

"If he has any feelings for you I'm sure that he won't care how you show up."

"Can I at least make myself decent?"

"Come on, come on" he goes behind your chair and pulls it back making you squeal. As you stand, he leaves the money on top of the table before you two walk out. "I'll meet you here in twenty minutes because I have no idea how to get there."

"Deal. Um, just in case get my number" you say and he pulls his phone out and types it. You both part your ways to later meet up.

You put together a small effort in your clothing. Yeah Peter was right but at least you wanted to look nice. Lara Jean would probably be flawless and you couldn't fight that but at least try. You could already feel your heart increasing its beat, you were getting nervous, unsure of what you would find but at least Peter would be there. With how he reacted after you talked him into speaking with Lara Jean, you could tell a friendship was growing there. He acted so different and the beam that surged through him when he realized it was not late only made you smile. Peter was like you in a way, and it was nice.

When you got to the diner, Peter was already there leaning against his car, looking through his phone. His free hand was stacked inside the pocket of his jacket, some sort of dark grey and wore a dark shirt underneath. You had your own long jacket as it was announced it would snow and you could feel it. The tip of your fingers were starting to feel funny which meant such weather. You had some decent black jeans and a simple blue shirt underneath. "Ready?"

"She doesn't like driving in the snow" Peter says randomly as he looks up at the sky, noticing the flurries falling.

"Who likes to drive in the snow?" You say with a smirk. "Come on" you change your shift from parking and start to drive off to Belleview.

Your teeth catch the inside of your cheek as you chew nervously on it as you drive, Peter's Jeep right behind you. A thought occurred to you then, what were you going to say to John Ambrose? Peter was going to apologize and explain, but what were you going to do? You had nothing. The ball was in his court now. The snow was falling heavy now as you made your way up the hill where Belleview was, you parked your car in the closest open spot and so did Peter.

"Damn it's cold" you shiver as you put your coat on, the change from the heat of your car to the outside had you like that, but it wasn't that cold.

"Where should we go? This place is huge" Peter says as he looks at the building. It honestly looked like a palace. A palace where Lara Jean and John Ambrose were probably dancing and giggling. Meanwhile, Peter and you were there to steal them from each other. Saying it like that? It sounded so selfish.

"Go to the entrance, I'll go on the back side" you say and he nods before you both split.

Your sneakers left the prints on the now covered snow as you walked. You liked these days, they were perfect to enjoy with great company. John Ambrose and you would meet at a park or at a house for snowball fights and angels. Childish as it was, it made John smile and you loved it. He had the most beautiful smile and laugh...

The songs you can hear clearly as you walk down the small hill that took you over to the back. It was where the people should be right? Unless it was all indoor as it probably is because of the snow. Your footsteps stop as you rethink it yet your hues focus on a particular thing that it made your heart stop for a moment.

There they were. Lara Jean throwing snowballs at John and him laughing. Just like he used to do with you. The same laugh, the same smile. Lara Jean looked gorgeous, the blue dress and her hair done made her look like a princess, you couldn't deny it. Maybe that's why John and Peter liked her. Then there was John, the white tuxedo too big for him but it matched him perfectly. It made him look like a prince. A princess and a prince having their dance...Your heart drops at the thought. Peter was right, they seemed to be perfect for each other. But what about you two? Weren't you two a match? What about all those years spent together? Not even a few weeks ago he was being this certain way with you...Did you take the signs in a completely different way? Was it all in your head?

You feel like you should look away, to move from the spot where you were currently hiding behind a wall, almost at the top of the stairs, yet you don't know why, you can't. Then it happens, John Ambrose spins her and they are chest to chest, so close. Their lips so close and you know what comes next, everyone knows, you should definitely look away, but you see it. Disappointment, betrayal, jealousy, sadness, anger, all the emotions merged into one as a lump formed on your throat. How many times have you thought about John's soft lips against yours? Now they were being shared with someone who just came into the picture again, because she wasn't there!

As you are about to turn on your heel, you hear it.

"I can't-I can't do this...I'm sorry…" you hear Lara Jean's voice and you turn around to find her walking away, leaving a boy with his heart breaking as she did. His gaze was fixed on the snow, probably processing what just happened. The perfect ending for the night just….gone. And you want to go to him. Hug him. Tell him it wasn't meant to be. Hell, even kiss him even if it would make matters worse probably. You hadn't noticed that your feet had gone two steps lower, now in full sight and when he lifts his gaze, your eyes widen. Left? Right? Up? Up is where your car is.

"Y/N?" He asks. You stand still for a few seconds, hoping that his mind tells him he is seeing visions, and then you turn on your heel, stumble on the stairs because of the tears shimmering in your eyes and run for the hills before he sees you all torn apart. "Y/N, wait!"

You stop once close to your car, what was the point? Confronting him or not, things will be awkward, he will be awkward, you will be awkward. Things would not be the same after this. You wipe a tear from your eye, take a deep breath to stop your voice from quivering when you speak and turn around, arms rising and dropping in defeat. "Surprise?" You shrug.

"What are you doing here?" He asks as he eyes you. Yeah, sorry to disappoint him for not looking like a girl pulled straight out of a love story.

"You invited me…"

"And you didn't talk to me for days. I thought you wouldn't come because of your shark days" he says gesturing with his hand at your body. Oh yeah, he was so understanding of those days.

"Shark week, and…Um- Yeah, I guess I was feeling much better and wanted to give you a surprise" you lift one shoulder and pause as you can feel the lump in your throat growing. "I came with Peter" you gesture to the Jeep. "He wanted to get Lara Jean back…"

"Kavinsky is here?" His eyebrows rose as his eyes widened.

"Yep...Talked him into talking with Lara Jean...Get her back…" You pause as you get a sudden urge… "I wanted to confront you about what happened the other day. I thought you had enough time to think, you know? Here I was thinking that you would realize the moments we shared and all and it would make you see and appreciate them…"

"Y/N, come on, I do appreciate those moments. You know that" he reaches for you but you dodge. If he touched you you were sure to break.

"Not how I wanted it" your lower lip quivers and you bite on it. "I guess that I- I just thought that our moments would top anything with someone who just got into your life and, gosh! I was so wrong" you laugh at how you should be sounding. Helpless. "I guess that I was the one who was surprised, huh?" You give him a sad smile.

"Y/N, come on. I can't lose you too. You are my best friend-"

"Do you think things will be normal between us? Because it won't. I know it for sure. I'm here blurting out my feelings which are not corresponded and you think I can look past this?" You scoff. "Maybe. Maybe in a few months but I have to see you everyday, Ambrose."

He remains silent, brown hues dropping and his jaw clenches. "I don't know what to say...Maybe now is not our time…"

"Is there even a time for us? Was there ever? Did you even consider it?" You ask in disbelief. "I mean, while that time comes, what? I'll have to see you with her, hear you talking about her?"

"She left! And if she is with Kavins-" he trails off and your features are sure to show your confusion, so you follow his eyes and see it. Peter and Lara Jean kissing. The nerve! She just kissed John Ambrose and now….that!?

You turn to look at John, who looks even more heartbroken now. "I guess you know that feeling now" you say and lick your lips, your posture fixes. "She chose the one who was there before you" your fingers slide to your coat pocket and pull your keys, pressing the beeper to open it.

"I- I thought-"

"I know…" you offer him a smile, after all, you had to sympathize because he was going through the same thing as you. "I know you thought everything would fall into place…" you open the door to your car. "I thought about it too." He turns to glance at you, he looks like a lost puppy. Damn it! You would do anything to cheer him up, but who would cheer you up? You won't be able to pretend everything is fine for so long until he is back to not thinking about her. "I'll see you around in school, Ambrose" you reach forward and press a soft kiss against his cheek, that side that if he moved you'd finally feel his lips against yours. Maybe you were expecting him to move. Selfish? Yes. As you pull, he only looks at you and you smile softly at him, not showing teeth, your lips together and just curving them enough to make it look like a smile.

As you start the car, Peter and Lara Jean walk besides each other linked by their hands to his car. John had started walking away. You were happy for Peter, at least things worked his way.

You arrive home and close the door of your bedroom and flop on your bed. Tears streamed down your cheeks as quiet sobs made you shudder and you closed your eyes. A ring from your phone getting you out of your thoughts for a moment. At first, you thought it would be Ambrose, but the person who it was surprised you.

Peter:Thanks for the pep talk. I saw you talking with McClaren, everything alright?

Me: You are very welcomed. Happy it worked out for you. (:

Me: Didn't go as I thought it would, but I guess time will tell.

Peter:Wow. I'm sorry to hear that.

Peter: McClaren is blind if he doesn't see you like that.

Me: You barely know me xD

Peter: You did say we were alike. So I know :P

Peter:I owe you one. When do we meet up? Lunch is on me and so is the therapy.

You can't help but giggle. There it was, a great friendship coming up.

Me:I'll let you know. I need some alone therapy before going to the outside world.

Peter:Got it. Totally. If you need to talk, while McClaren is gone, I'll be here. Night.

You smile and place your phone down and as you do, another message comes up. You think of something sassy to say to Peter if he was teasing but it wasn't him.

Ambrose: Can we please talk? When you are comfortable. I don't want to lose what we have.

Your lips purse.

Me:Okay.

And that's all you write for the night. Your head goes to many places while sleep catches you. Maybe in three days you will be able to talk to him, yet not forget everything. Yes, you will try your best to make it normal but, would it ever be? Probably not. Three days would do to talk, but the rest was unknown and it all depended on what happened then. Maybe in three days you could try to forget...

#john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose mcclaren imagine #john ambrose mcclaren imagines #john ambrose imagine #john ambrose imagines #letting go #(mine)#tatbilb 2 #tatbilb #tatbilb imagine #to all the boys I've loved before #what else do i even tag

64 notes · View notes

greywinded · 4 years

Text

Good Morning

john ambrose mcclaren x reader

since y’all ain’t makin shit for my mans john i decided to make one myself >:(

__________

You swore you had never felt so content and relaxed in your entire life. You weren’t sure what time it was but you could feel the sun beginning to shine on your sleepy face which made it scrunch slightly. The winter months rolled in much quicker than you had expected and with that, the morning sun shone much harder which you didn’t dare complain about.

School had been cancelled that day, the snow had swept in throughout the night without warning so when the alarm beside your bed began to roar, the growl that came from your mouth was one to tell for a good horror story. Your arm swept up onto the bedside table and smacked down on the alarm clock and it fortunately turned it off rather quick. Desperately trying not to lose the comfortable feeling of sleep in your body, you quickly went under the covers to get as much warmth as possible but it was no use. You were actually waking up.

Funny how when you actually didn’t have school, your alarm woke you up. You exhaled loudly in a huff and made over three attempts in squeezing your eyes shut in hopes that sleep would whisk you away but to no avail. You flipped your body over to the other side of your double bed where you thought you would find more comfort but instead of your face falling onto the softness of your pillow it was the fabric of... what was that?

Your eyes fluttered up with sleep still crusted in their corners and what you saw was your best friend, John Ambrose McClaren lookin down at you with a cheeky grin on his face. “Good Morning.” He laughed at the stunned look on your face.

You sat up, embarrassed at the thought of him seeing you in the state that you were in and your hands went up to fix your hair as casually as possible. “What are you doing here?” Your brows furrowed in confusion.

John shrugged with the grin never leaving from his face. “Your mom let me in about 20 minutes ago– thought I would surprise you since we have the day off. I can go if you want? You look pretty tired.” You can practically smell his lies, he knows you don’t want him to leave he just wants to hear you say it.

“What? No! Of course not, stay you idiot. I need someone to keep me warm anyway.” You nearly dived into his arms which made a surprised laugh leave his lips thought he gladly accepted your hug, your head nestling into his shoulder.

The relationship between you and John Ambrose was quite complicated when it was looked at from a different perspective. Neither of you two thought anything odd about it but everyone else did. Almost every time thar John left the house, your mother would ask if he was finally your boyfriend to which you would blush and shake your head no. That was your answer to everyone else too but since John didn’t go to the same school as you it wasn’t too bad which your were thankful for. You often did coupley things with each other like going to the cinema together on date night but passing off remarks because you wanted ‘an extra discount’ or bringing John as your plus one to weddings and events just so he can see you dressed up.

You noticed that his body was lying on top of the bed covers and you frowned. “Take off your shoes and get under the covers.” You huffed in demand which made the boy laugh softly. He unwrapped himself from you before kicking his shoes off and tucking his legs under the warmth of the bed’s gentle duvet. Your eyes watched him intently, observing his every moment with adoration and a smile that screamed ‘give me attention!’

John looked to you once he was under the covers, his head rested against the pillow and the two of you faced each other. You both gazed at the others face with adoration for what felt like hours. You couldn’t help but look into the hills of brown in the colour of his eyes. Slowly, John’s hand made its way onto your cheek, cupping it with the most gentle caress of his thumb. “You have a freckle right on the corner of your cheek.” He nearly mumbled, his thumb running over the darker shade of skin for a few moments.

Your brows furrowed lazily, sleep became more and more enticing every time you blinked. “Really?” You mulled over the words, inching your face further toward the warmth of his body slowly.

A smirk grew on the boy’s face. “No, I just wanted to put my hand on your cheek.” He smiled fondly when he saw laughs leave your lips and your eyes squinted shut. He was glad for that though because you would’ve seen the blush that rose on his cheeks. John then pulled his hand away from your cheek which formed a frown on your face, only to open up his arms for you to envelop around him.

You giggled like a little girl and turned your back to him so that it was pressed up against your chest and his head was resting on your shoulder. A comfortable sigh left his lips and his arms began to worm and wrap around your hips to bring you closer to him. ‘Best friends definitely don’t do this’ The both of you thought at the back of your heads. Yet you didn’t care at all.

Sure, the pair of you didn’t fall under the bracket of best friends but that didn’t matter. You felt safe in the arms of John Ambrose, safer than you felt anywhere else. You didn’t have to put the label of boyfriend or girlfriend to understand that. But maybe the thought of kissing him until his lips were swollen was a thought you would like to bring to reality... someday.

#john ambrose #tatbilb #john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose imagine #jordan fisher #john ambrose mcclaren imagine #jordan fisher imagine #tatbpsisly #tatbilb imagine

115 notes · View notes

megahologram · 4 years

Text

Jealousy| John Ambrose

A/N: I wrote this only because I loved that piano scene and my boy John deserved way better.

Warning(s): strong language, kissing (if that counts as a warning)

°•○●○•°

You watched them talk from a distance, putting away the dried-out plants in the useless pile, you signed in defeat. Lara was your best friend, you, her and Josh grew up together, the three of you were the ultimate trio. You loved her with all your heart but at that moment, you couldn’t help yourself to stop the fire of jealously that rose in your chest. Or that could’ve just been the tacos you ate for lunch.

You had never told Lara about the mini crush you had on John. To be completely honest, you had almost forgotten about him. Almost gotten over him but after seeing him for the first time in years in Belleview, all those feelings came back. If it was even possible, he had gotten more charming over the years. Every interaction you had with him after that day screamed you to get away. The devil, or angel, you couldn’t figure out who, but one of them always screamed to end your feelings, that in the end, he was just going to break your heart…like everyone else. These voices started after the first day of interacting with him. When Lara feel down by the mini gumballs, he came to help her up. He seemed to remember her but when it came to you, his words, which are glued in your brain, “and you are?” It wasn’t that he was being rude, in fact he tried to say it in the sweetest way he possibly could, with that signature smile on his face, it turned to shock in seconds when you told him your name. Thankfully he did remember you.

Your eyes were still glued to them, seeing their interaction as he walked over to grab an envelope, ‘must have been Lara Jean’s love letter’ you thought as he placed it in her hands. Lara took the letter from his hands, walking out as you saw John smiling.

“um a little help please” you said quietly. John turned his head, facing you as he quickly nodded his head, “yeah sorry” he added, making his way over to grab more of the plants that had died.

It had been a few minutes of you two working quietly, Lara had still not gotten back and to be honest, you weren’t the best conversation starter. “so y/n” John started, carrying a few boxes and placing it in the donation pile.

“yes John”

Though you didn’t notice, he blushed slightly, hearing you say his name. Letting out a light cough, he continued, “your very different then when I last remember you”

“really…how so?” you asked, turning to face him.

“well for one, your gorgeous” he answered, smiling lightly. You playfully shoved him, both of you laughing in the process, “I’m serious, you are seriously stunning, like y-you have always been stunning but now looking at you, you’ve gotten even more stunning…”

Blushing at his words, you chuckled when you noticed he couldn’t stop blabbering. “I think we should get some work done,” you said as he nodded, agreeing with you. “and then you can tell me how stunning I am” you teased as he threw a dirty rag at you.

A few weeks volunteering, you had grew closer to John. Though you would always feel overshadowed by Lara. There were times when it felt as if he’d forget you were in the same room when she was around. You signed as you looked around the party you were in. You were standing by the corner of the room, Chris was by the stairs with Trevor, Lara was talking to Lucas and you didn’t feel like intruding. Chris had forced you to come to the party, otherwise you would’ve been in your comfy bed, watching your favourite show.

A few minutes passed when you noticed Lara finally leaving Lucas’s side. Giving you the opportunity to finally go over and find someone to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, you and Lara were best friends, but sometimes you knew when she needed her own space.

“hey Lucas” you smiled as you leaned against the counter, mimicking him.

“hey girl” he replies, turning his head to the side to face you. “what’s up? How come you didn’t join us?”

You knew what he was talking about, you smile lightly faded and you forced it upon yourself, in hopes that he wouldn’t have noticed. But you were wrong. “I guess I just..didn’t wanna intrude” you whisper so only he would hear. Though the music in the background made it slightly difficult.

Lucas rolled his eyes, “didn’t wanna intrude, seriously?”

You stayed quite, “okay, spill” he says firmly, making you turn your head to face him. About to question, you knew if you could tell anyone about your problem, it was Lucas.

Letting out a breathe you didn’t realize you were holding, you start talking, “I like John”

Lucas raises an eyebrow, “John?” he questions.

“John Ambrose McClaren” you finished.

Lucas chokes on the ice cream sandwich he was eating. “you like McClaren” he gasps dramatically.

It was your turn to roll your eyes. “yes I like him. I always did since middle school.”

“Does Lara Jean know?”

“no, I never told her.” You start playing with your hands, unable to continue the conversation.

“why not, if you liked him since middle scho-”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. She and Gen broke off cause of a boy and I didn’t want the same thing to happen to us, so I never told her.”

“And you think she won’t find out”

You completely ignore his statement and continue rambling, “you know, sometimes when it’s just me and him, he makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl he knows. And then when Lara comes along, it’s like he forgot I even existed. I don’t want to hate her, I really don’t but he makes it so difficult every time I see him with her. I wish he talked to me the way he talks to her. I wish he would see me the way I see him.”

You place your head on the counter in defeat. You feel Lucas hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in comfort. “I’m sorry, I really don’t know what to tell you. All I know is, you’ve got to tell Lara the truth. Before she finds out another way”

You nod your head, knowing he was right. “too late” you hear a faint whisper, causing both you and Lucas to turn around. You see Lara standing there, shook. She turns her heal, jogging her way to the door.

“Lara please just listen to me” you shout, following her track.

“Listen to what, how you lied to me. All these years you lied to me.” Lara tried to turn back but you didn’t let her, “I didn’t want to lose you. Especially not over a boy. He wasn’t as nearly as important to me then our friendship”

You notice Lara let out a tear with your words. “You know I would’ve never been angry, I wouldn’t have ever let our friendship go over a reason like that.”

You nodded your head, feeling ashamed you lied to your friend all these years. “do you still like him?” she asks, to which you simply nod your head. “do you?” you ask.

The question causes her to look up at you instantly. “no, of course not. I love Peter”

“Whose ever idea it was to invite everyone to dig up the time capsule, is-“ your voice trailed off as Lara gave you a death glare, to which you immediately changed your answer, “is a genius, I mean everyone back after years right?”

“I have to agree, get idea Lara Jean” John comments, smiling at her.

You frowned as your gaze fell on Peter also carried the same jealous expression as you. Not even two minutes later, everyone including Gen had shown up. You all were now sitting in the treehouse, in a circle, opening the time capsule. One by one, everyone started collecting their items they put in the capsule. Chris finally took out a little black book and your eyes turned to horror as you jogged to grab it. Placing your head in your hands, you cringed at your younger self. “what is it?” Lara questioned.

“it’s a little book of poems I used to write”

Everyone laughed as you started reading some in your head, “that’s really cute” John says.

You smile, blushing at his words. You lift your gaze up and your heart shatters, realizing he wasn’t talking to you but Lara. Guess you were too lost in your book that you didn’t hear the conversation that was talking place. Unable to top the tears that built up in your eyes, you decided that was your cue to leave.

Quickly wiping your eyes before anyone noticed, which failed because Gen had her eyes focused on you. You stood up, grabbing your belongings and quickly making your way down.

“y/n, where’re you going?” John asks as you started making your way down the stairs.

“leaving” you reply quietly, as you hear a few other people agreeing with you, stating it was their time to leave as well.

You started speed walking to your car, mentally noting that Lara could go with Peter and you really couldn’t stay another minute with John in the same room. The tears that you had wiped off started coming back, and all you could do was continue to wipe them off.

“y/n wait, just stop” John cries behind you. The voice only caused your feet to stride faster.

Just a few steps away from your car, you were stopped by a gentle touch on your wrist. Knowing who it was, you didn’t want to turn around or let him see you cry. Wiping the tears with your other hand, you turned around aggressively, which seemed to surprise him. Probably because you have never been that aggressive with anyone, especially not towards him.

But the anger and hurt that you felt all these weeks, just started building up and today was your breaking point. “are you okay?” he asks with hesitation in his voice, trying to gather the right words.

“no John, I’m not okay. And right now I just need you to leave me alone” You had never meant to shout but him constantly trying to get you to talk was getting on your nerves.

“I don’t understand what the problem is. I mean did I do something wrong, cause everything was fine a few minutes ago.”

You cursed in your head at how oblivious he is. Why can’t he see the undeniable feeling of jealousy you have right now.

“yes, its you, okay. You’re the problem, you’ve always been the problem. And I try so hard to ignore it but you make it so goddamn difficult. Just leave me alone” and with that, you hop in your car, driving off. Leaving John just standing there, incredibly confused.

The next day, you were supposed to volunteer at Belleview and as much as you didn’t want to go, especially since Lara wasn’t coming today. You forced yourself to go. You were in the basement, clearing up the last junk you had found. It was peaceful but was blessed by the beautiful sound of a piano. Signing loudly, you knew who was playing it.

A few moments of war just inside your head, whether or not you should go there, you decided you had to.

Making your way quietly towards the sound, you stood behind him, his back was facing you as he sat on the stool, his fingers carefully falling on the keys perfectly. You just stood there and admired him when he seemed to acknowledge your presence, his fingers continued to play as he spoke his next words, “you have quiet the ability to remain sneakily silent”

“I didn’t know you still played” you answer.

“I never stopped” he whispers, turning his head, signalling you to sit beside him. Carefully making your way, you sat beside him as he moved slightly, giving you space.

“I used to love playing” you say, remembering how much fun you had playing the piano.

“why did you stop” he asks, your gaze falling to his hands, that never stopped hitting the keys.

You opened your mouth, with a little hesitation though continued, “I guess after you left, my passion for playing left too. You were kind of my inspiration”

He smiled, blushing slightly as he gently grabbed your hands. Guiding to a few keys, he showed which keys to play. In a matter of seconds, you started playing the notes he taught you, following your pace as he started playing as well.

“remember in middle school. At lunch, we used to hang around the music room and I would show you how to play”

You laughed, “of course I remember. You were the only reason I started playing in the first place.”

He smiled facing you as you stared back, your heartbeat raising just by the look he gave you. “I’m sorry” You confess, your gaze returning to the fingers that played on the keys of the piano.

“for what, exactly?” John absently asks, pushing the keys of the piano. The sound echoing through the room.

“for shouting at you yesterday. I let my emotions get the best of me.” You admit, flustered as you thought back to your behaviour the previous day.

Meeting your gaze, he lets out a sign as he stopped playing. “I’m not going to lie, it hurt.” His hands fell on his lap, while his gaze dropped to the keys in front of him. “But most of all, I don’t understand what I did wrong?”

You closed your eyes, letting out a breath as you replayed the scene over your head. You let your jealously get the best of you, causing you to react in a way. You were unsure how you were going to explain that to John.

“I got jealous” you whisper in hopes he didn’t hear you.

“Jealous of what?” You watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Surely this was going to be new news to him.

Signing once more, your head fell to your lap, playing with your hands as you figure out your next words, “of you and Lara.”

“I’m sorry y/n but I don’t understand why you would be jealous o-“

“I guess I wanted you to act the same way you do around her, to me”

He was silent, and you understood that he still had not figured what you were talking about. “I like you” you express quickly, feeling the huge weight leave your shoulders.

“I like you too, y/n?”

You chuckle in pain as you hear the confusion in his voice. You finally lift your gaze off your lap to his, that were already watching you.

A few seconds, you watched his face turn into realization, “oh-“ he replied, his gaze falling to everything in the room except you.

Considering that as your cue to leave, you got off the stool, turning to leave. Your feet came to a halt as you felt a hand on your wrist. Hearing shuffling behind you, you finally felt his hand leave. His hands fell on your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

Unable to look at him, you looked down in hopes he’d let you go. “look at me” he whispers, “please.”

Your eyes go up, finally landing on his own. ‘If your going to give me a pity excuse and sorry, I really don’t wanna he-“ Your words stop the moment launched his lips onto yours. Your breath hitched in your throat, your brain was unable to process what was happening. And before it got a chance to, he slowly pulled away.

He must have got the wrong interpretation because he was quick to start apologizing, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ You couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing his collar and placing his lips on yours. You felt him smile into the kiss, his hands slowly trailing their way from your shoulder to your waist, gently pulling you closer to him.

Your own hands travelled towards his neck, wrapping them around as you both pulled yourselves dangerously close, if that was even possible. The kiss was slow and passionate, both your lips moved in sync. You felt your heart racing as his hands slid to your hips, pushing you closer against him. You licked his bottom lip for entrance, to which he gladly accepted. Your fingers played with the hairs on the back of his neck, lightly pulling them, causing him to get out a groan. A sound which you instantly fell in love with.

Though you knew you both would’ve continued, you were forced to stop when you hear a cough coming from beside you. Both you and John pulled away instantly. Both of you started fixing yourself, trying to look as presentable as possible as you turned to see who had interrupted.

Stormy stood then with the biggest smile on her face. One where she did not even try to hide. “martini anyone.” She asks, laughing as she made her way back upstairs.

“so…you wanna try that again?” John asks, smiling when he notices you blushing.

And with that, he pulled you in for another kiss.

#john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose imagine #john ambrose x lara jean #john ambrose x reader #netflix #to all the boys ps i still love you spoilers #to all the boys #to all the boys 2 #to all the boys icons #jordan fisher #peter kavinsky #lara jean covey

239 notes · View notes

plut00nline · 4 years

Text

John Ambrose deserved better

#tatbilb #tatbilb2 #ps i still love you #john ambrose mcclaren #peter kavinsky #lara jean #to all the boys ive loved before icons #to all the boys ive loved before imagine #to all the boys ive loved before movie #to all the boys: p.s. i still love you #to all the boys i've loved before

428 notes · View notes

larajeanscloset · 3 years

Text

Life lately🌻 I’m sorry my loves for being so inactive, I love each and every one of you. Things have been hectic right now and I hope everyone is staying safe✨ - lj

32 notes · View notes

yns-world · 2 years

Text

to all the boys i've loved before masterlist

peter kavinsky

u/c

john ambrose mcclaren

john ambrose dating headcanons

#yns world #to all the boys i've loved before #tatbilb #to all the boys: p.s. i still love you #to all the boys: always and forever #to all the boys trilogy #to all the boys i've loved before x reader #tatbilb x reader #peter kavinsky #peter kavinsky x reader #peter kavinsky imagine #peter kavinsky headcanon #john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose mcclaren x reader #john ambrose x reader #john ambrose #john ambrose mcclaren imagine #john ambrose mcclaren headcanon

13 notes · View notes

starkintl · 4 years

Text

john ambrose icons

again... i know

like or reblog if you save!

295 notes · View notes

retvenkos · 4 years

Text

“you’ve always been someone to me”

BEING PETER KAVINSKY’S YOUNGER SISTER AND HAVING A CRUSH ON JOHN AMBROSE MCCLAREN WOULD HAVE TO GO A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS...

so you’re one year younger than peter

which means peter has all the rights to saying “i’m older than you, so i decide” without having to do any work for you because you're too small (like doing the dishes because you can’t or something)

which, of course, means the two of you have always argued with each other in regular sibling fashion, but makeup quickly because your rooms are literally right next to each other.

but, this also means that you are close enough in age to where his friends are basically your friends while growing up

you first met john ambrose because peter had brought him over to hang out after school

and you remember thinking he was nice, if not a little nerdy

and soon, you guys started to hang out a lot

especially after gen and peter got together

and you guys became really close, and even after he and peter sort of grew apart, the two of you stayed friends

you could vent to john ambrose about your brother and he could agree, but also point out that he was still your brother and cared a lot about you

and that was one thing you always liked about john ambrose

he was quiet and levelheaded and thought things through

and he was smart

and he was funny

and he was sweet

and he was cute

and he liked you for you

and that was always a thing, wasn’t it? people seemed to like you for who your brother was. but not john ambrose. not him.

and peter watches your feelings towards john ambrose shift and you know it fills him with absolute glee conflicting with an over-protective nature

which makes for an awkward limbo where he will tease you about your “lil’ crush on johnny boy” but will then posture to or try to be better than john ambrose

this, of course, is fodder for a lot of arguments between the two of you

“why can’t you just grow up and leave us alone, peter? he doesn’t like me like that!”

“but you like him that way!”

“no i don’t!”

“really, (y/n)?”

you can never win these arguments. because even if you deny it, both of you know that you have an undeniably h u g e crush on john ambrose mcclaren

but then he moves and everyone moves on like he was never really there

but not you

you write to him - emails, mostly, but you also managed to find him on social media and send him memes

and you know that this makes peter even more insufferable

“stop sexting john and come down here! i need help making dinner!”

“SHUT UP, PETER!”

and all this time, you never say a word of your feelings

how pathetic would it make you?

“i know we haven’t seen each other in years, but i’ve always had a crush on you, and i’m waiting for you if you ever decide to come back”

peter would make so much fun of you if he ever found out

and what makes it worse is when sends you an email that lara jean sent him a letter in the mail? and it said how she loved him in middle school?

and that ate at you

you couldn’t look at lara jean for weeks after finding out

because she was dating peter, so why would she send that

and why were you indefinitely in the shadow of someone else?

first it was peter - faster than you, stronger than you, more popular than you; and now it’s lara jean - more confident than you, and more deserving of love than you

you don’t know how to respond

and so you don’t

peter notices that something is wrong and spends more time with you

the teasing stops and the real conversations start

and you were never going to tell him about the letter that lara jean sent john ambrose

but it just came out

and then peter and lara jean are on the rocks and everything that is wrong is your fault

and then john ambrose is on your doorstep

and you’re shocked, and you’re sad, and you still love him

and you don’t know what else to do but fling your arms around him

and he wraps you in a hug

and it’s soft

and warm

and his sweater smells like the same laundry detergent that he used to use - the memory previously locked away but now resurfacing in your mind

and you feel him sigh against you, and it’s comforting and different and new all at the same time

“you’re here.”

“i am”

and his smile fills you with admiration and longing

“i’m sorry i never answered you back”

“i know. peter told me”

and you blink in confusion

“peter?”

and he just nods

and for now, everything is fine, and you’re content to hold john ambrose’s hand as you walk up the familiar path to your bedroom where you will talk for the rest of the day

tomorrow, though, you are going to your brother for answers.

how much did he tell?

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

#to all the boys i've loved before #to all the boys series #john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose x reader #x reader #reader insert #imagine #headcanons #would include #peter kavinsky #tatbilb #tatbilb 2 #johnambroseheadcanons #peterkavinskyheadcanons

158 notes · View notes

fandom-imagination-ss · 4 years

Text

Imagine: meeting John Ambrose for the first time and instantly falling for him

#john ambrose mcclaren imagine #john ambrose #john ambrose imagine #john ambrose mcclaren #psisly imagine #psisly #ps i still love you book #ps i still love you imagine #ps i still love you #tatbilb imagine #tatbilb #too all the boys ive loved before imagine #too all the boys ive loved before #fandom imagine #imagine

105 notes · View notes

barcaavengers · 4 years

Text

Letting Go || John Ambrose McClaren Imagine|| Part 1

Note: Guess who is back by unpopular demaaaaand!? Me! Here is a little John Ambrose imagine because I find none ?? Changed a couple of things for everything to make sense. Part 2 is on the works already since I had to split the original because I found it too long. As always, opinions and ideas are always welcomed! Hope I did our ray of sunshine some justice. 💗

"Are you absolutely sure you don't want to join the recycling club? I mean, it won't be as good as Belleview but it would do" you shrug as you ask your best friend. Well...your crush at the moment.

"I would love to, but I do need a good reference" John Ambrose said as he walked beside you.

Back story, you were the person to show John Ambrose the school grounds when he moved to the city. Ever since then, you two hang out all the time and the last couple of weeks have been kind of confusing between the two, at least for you. Your hands would brush and your fingers would reach his and you felt him doing the same, he would pick you up at your house to go to meetings and hang out, bring you books and favorite food randomly and help you with your bag, like now. Your bag was draped over his shoulders while his remained one sided. Now you didn't want to give too much thought into it because he has always been the gentleman since day one. It is his nature.

"You are smart, you don't need such good references, your grades speak for themselves" you say as you move in front of him and walk backwards. He chuckles as his gaze drops before looking up at you. "Me, on the other hand, have to work it up even for football or volleyball." You belonged to both teams at some point, currently being volleyball since the football team for girls was full when you decided to switch. You were good on both of them, so you didn't mind it much. More backup and background for college, right?

John Ambrose and you were the same yet different. He was confident, smart, yet kept to himself. You? Confident, smart but extroverted, yet around him you liked to keep that side of you in check unless it was required. You felt that if you were too extroverted he would shy away and you didn't want that. John Ambrose was a great friend and you liked him, but who didn't? He was a prince charming compared to the rest of the guys at the school.

"You will do fine" he assures you and you shrug your shoulders as you sign up on the paper at the desk. As you turn, he is fidgeting with the zipper of his bag.

"You okay, Ambrose?" He'd cringe at first when you called him such, liking better the first and middle name for some reason. Now you, deciding it was too much, rather call him Ambrose when you wanted to tease or just randomly.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine" he smiles, all white pearl teeth and you can't help but fall for him a bit deeper. "Meet you at the cafe later to study?"

"I thought we'd go to my house. I still have your pile of books, you know?" You mention him.

"Oh, right. Then, I, um…"

"I'll see you after five. Don't be late and don't forget my breadsticks." When he comes to your place he always brings pizza, and now breadsticks after he tried a new pizzeria.

"Sounds good" he says and you go behind him to take your bag off his back and as you do, he turns around and helps you put it on your own. You didn't need the help, he knew you didn't, but he always helped, and his proximity to you when he does makes you nervous. You could feel his breath so close to you...

"Bye" you say and press a kiss to his cheek before storming off.

"These are still the best breadsticks ever" you say as you chew on the last one, legs crossed on your bed while John Ambrose was right beside you, his legs hanging on the edge of the bed.

"Best pizza yet" he says and you both chuckle.

"I am going to miss this during the weekends" you admit. Weekends were the days you'd both spend on your respective community services.

"Me too" he says with a smile and hangs his head as he does and you eye him. Gosh, he was just so dreamy with that hair, that beautiful skin color...that smile...

"I'll miss you too…" You blurt out and feel like taking it back but he looks up at you, something along the lines of confusion crossing his mind. You simply shrug, "I know it's a few days but, I guess I got used to you being around on weekends…" you admit.

"Y/N, is not like we are going to college…"

"Ugh, don't bring that up" you frown. The two of you, and that was a fact, would be going to different colleges. Different interests, different futures, yet...

"I'll be a call away, or a video call away. Your choice" he says and you sigh, he just smiles softly at you.

"Sure. Unless someone catches your eye there and-"

"You do realize Belleview is full of 70 or even 80 year old people, right? That's not going to happen" he says chuckling.

"What about a volunteer?"

"Too short of a time for that. You know I'm not like that…"

"And that's why I like you" you say and your eyes widen at your words and so do his "...like your way of being because you are not like other boys who fall in love with the first girl before them…" you say and add a nervous laugh, and you know he will notice. Every time you get nervous, you would rant.

"Y/N…"

"I think I should clean this up. Yep, let me clean a little" you say and jump from the bed. "Imma go get a trash bag" you say as you step on your flip flops and stumble nervously, a situation that if it wouldn't have been because he placed a hand on your waist and another one catching your hand, you would've tripped.

"Did you mean that?" His voice is almost a whisper, and he was serious. It wasn't the type of tone someone would use if they didn't care about your words.

You let out a huff and shake your head, not meeting his chocolate like hues, it would make you blush even more than you already were. "You know I like you, why else would I be inviting you over" you say as casually as you can master. It was up to him the way he wanted to catch the signal, but it was two ways, either romantically or friendly…

"Yeah, but…" he pauses and you slap yourself mentally and try to mute his next words. So much so that you close your eyes. Nothing good comes after someone says 'yeah, but…' and lets it hang there to create suspense. That was a fact.

After a moment of realizing no words were coming out of him, your body tenses because you feel him move closer, "Y/N, look at me" and that's when you knew, you were screwed. He was close to you, you could feel it, his breath felt so close...

Your eyes open slowly just to find him smiling. "What are you so smiley about?"

"Oh, nothing" he chuckles. "You just look cute when you are anticipating something."

"Pfft, yeah. How do you know I'm anticipating something?"

"Your hand is getting sweaty" he teases and wipes his hand on his jeans, yet not letting go fully of yours. "You closed your eyes and, not to mention, your confidence just left the window."

"My confidence is still here, thanks."

"Oh, really?" He moves closer and your body tenses. "Then why…?"

"For someone who is shy, you do like playing a cat and mouse game, Ambrose."

"Your body is tense."

"My body is trying to find a safe passage away from your teasing" you say with a smirk.

"Okay then" he says and let's go of your hand before he stands up. "I should go. It's late" he says as he gathers his belongings. "I can help you clean, if you want."

The part of 'if you want' was not an option. He always stayed to help and today was no exception. When he leaves, you close the door and lean against his, forehead hitting it a few times before you let go of the door handle and go up to your room.

"So how is Belleview? Your grandma?"

"Oh you know, being herself. She took one of the girls under her wing and it won't be long until she runs off."

"Hm, a girl. Interesting" you weren't even going to hide the slight jealousy that laced those words.

"Yeah…" he drags the word out and you eye him through the screen.

"What's up?" You knew something was up.

"Remember that letter I told you about? From a girl that I used to hang with in middle school?" Your body tense because you remember that oh too well.

The letter was...intense for a young girl. The whole letter situation was a yellow light on your way to confess your crush to John Ambrose a week or two ago. A huge sign of 'Beware' displayed on it when you were handed the envelope. He seemed so happy about the letter that your confidence left your body as soon as you began to read it and how he quickly said he would write back. This girl seemed special, in a way you couldn't tell. Reason enough to think the worst when he mentions the letter and the girl in the same sentence and so hesitantly.

"She is actually volunteering here at Belleview. Can you believe it? After so many years I get to see Lara Jean again" he sounds so excited you can feel your heart tightening.

"Oh, that's...that's great. I'm happy you two got reunited after so long…" you try to sound cool. "Did she mention why she sent that letter after so long?"

"No, she just wants it back. I'll lend it to her but I can't give it to her…"

"Right…You want to hold onto the one letter that reminds you that someone liked you back then" your tone lowers in disappointment, because you cared about him now. You liked him now. Not a few years back like this Lara Jean girl. It was now. Yet he still wanted to hold onto that, as if no other girl would ever like him.

"You know it…Hey, are you okay?" He looks confused as he stares back at you through the screen.

"I'm fine. I will, um, I will call you later, okay? Enjoy Belleview…"

"You are lying to me, what's going on?"

"We can talk about it at school. No rush, okay?" You try to wave it off. "Have fun."

"Y/N, come on."

"Nope. Not doing it" you shake your head. "Gotta go. These plastics won't sort themselves by numbers" and just like that you are quick to press the red button on the screen to bring your lockscreen up, leaving a confused John Ambrose hanging.

Usually you wait for John Ambrose at the staircase at school but today your head was spinning on what to say to him. There was no way he would forget you two have a conversation on hold. You were stacking your books at your locker, your mind running every word and every scenario. You reach to close your locker and when you do, the one and only was standing facing you leaned against the other locker. "Holy shoot, Ambrose! Don't do that!" You shove him playfully as you two start to walk, he is chuckling on the other hand.

"Good reaction though" he says and reaches for your backpack, this time throwing it on one side of his shoulder. "You want to talk outside?"

"Talk about what?" You chew on your lip getting nervous.

"Well, for starters, you hung up on me the other day after I told you about Lara Jean."

"I….The manager was on his way…" improvised excuse.

"You said you were on your break" wrong excuse then.

"I…Battery was running low."

"Your phone has a solar bat-"

"Can we agree I'm bad at coming up with excuses around you?" You say as you glare at him and he chuckles.

"Yeah, let's do that" he says and turns to you. "So?"

How to sugar coat it."Let's just say…" pause. "I am jealous that another girl will take your attention from me" you try to ignore his look. You can see him from the corner of your eye.

"You don't need to worry, you know that right?" He says and once outside he steps in front of you. "You are, like, my best friend. Nothing will change that."

"Sadly…" you mutter.

"What?"

"Come on, Y/L/N. Talk to me." You hated when he called you by your last name. It meant he was being serious...

"Its just weird, you know? She writes you a letter after so long, all of a sudden and now she is at Belleview. Like something is up with the constellations and planets that are lining up for the mysterious event to happen" you wave your hands around and he smiles.

"Her sister used to do community service there, I'm guessing she was referred to by her" he shrugs.

"How convenient...And you knew…"

"You are jealous, aren't you?" And at that moment, you wished a hole opened up and swallowed you.

"No" yet you don't scoff, you just look away and lean against a tree. "I just hope that if everything turns out to be the way I see it...she doesn't break your heart."

"What? No, Y/N. Nothing of that-"

"I know you a bit too well and the look you had when you told me she was there I've only seen it two more times. When you read the letter and when you said you sent the letter" he frowns at your words.

"I used to like Lara Jean, yeah, but that doesn't mean-"

"You are basically telling me that you had a crush on this girl who you now know felt the same way and you just saw her yet you didn't feel anything. That's not true…" you sink your hands in your jeans to stop yourself from crossing them over your chest, or he'd know you are mad.

"I can prove it" this should be interesting. "Her and some childhood friends are going to dig a time capsule we hid a while back" you make a face. "You can come along…"

"Sounds childhood friends exclusive only. I don't want to ruin it."

"I don't think they would mind. You'll fit in just right. Please?"

"Sounds like a terrible idea."

"If it goes wrong, I'll do your homework for a whole week."

"Fine" you roll your eyes and he grins.

"I'll send you the address. Now, I'm going to class, see you after?" You only nod and he grins wider, "Bye" and he presses a kiss to your cheek and walks away, leaving you flustered. Bold move.

Lara Jean, or so you guessed, with John Ambrose and another tall guy were before you as you walked awkwardly towards the small group. John Ambrose notices you and grins, excusing himself from the other two before heading your way, "You made it!" He says happily and your body tenses as you see more people joining.

"Aaaaand leaving" you turn on your heel to walk away yet he stops you by reaching for your hand.

"No. No. Come on, it will be fun."

"And awkward."

"I brought pizza, your favorite so you can't say no" he says as he starts pulling you.

"Fine…" you sigh.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Y/N. Hope you don't mind I dragged her along" he introduces you.

"Hi hi" you wave with a grin at the group.

"This is Lara Jean, you've heard of her. Peter, Gen, Chris and Trevor" he pointed at every single one of them.

"Nice to meet you guys" you say and wave a peace sign in the air. Chris seemed cool, so did Trevor. Peter, you believe you have seen him in lacrosse games before, and Gen...seemed way too serious. Now Lara Jean...she was beautiful, you had to admit it. You could see why John would want to try something with her and that made you feel uncomfortable. "And I'm mostly here for the pizza, at least the last slice."

"Then we will have to fight for it because that's always mine" Peter says and your eyebrows raise teasingly.

"I think I can take you" you snark back with a grin, Peter reciprocates it. You look a bit at Lara Jean and she is looking between the two of you before speaking up.

"Anyway, let's go dig that time capsule."

"I can go ahead and set everything in the tree house, that seems like exclusive from you guys" you shrug.

"Yeah, I wasn't aware we were allowed to bring outsiders. I could've brought some friends" Gen says in a tone that irks you. And you would be lying if you didn't want to say something back. Fortunately though, John Ambrose nudges you.

"Go ahead, we will go up there in a bit" he says and you smile. This time Lara Jean looks between you two strangely.

"Sounds like a plan" you say, ignoring the looks before you climb up the treehouse and you are handed the pizza and the cupcakes which looked delicious. You set it up and pour the drinks in different cups in a small circle.

It wasn't long until the group joined you and they started pulling things out of the metal container that revealed something special for everyone. You spoke with Trevor about Linkin Park for a bit, laughed at John Ambrose's Patriots cap and things got awkward then when Gen said that Lara Jean bought a jersey to impress John.

"If that's true, that's really cute" he says to Lara Jean and she giggles. Peter eyes them and so do you for a moment. You could almost feel his body tensing in a jealous way.

"Anyway, Y/N, tell us about yourself" Chris breaks the awkward silence and you are thankful for it.

"Well, I practice soccer and volleyball. I like to hang out with friends-"

"Mostly just me" John steps in.

"Shut up, Ambrose" you shove him and he chuckles. "I met him when he moved to the school and we have been very good friends ever since" you say with a grin.

"Hey, McClaren, didn't you have a stutter back then? I noticed you don't have it anymore" Peter steps in. Okay?

"Uh, yeah, used to. My teacher would be happy to hear that."

"His stutter was the cutest thing ever. Sometimes there are traces of it still, when he gets nervous" you tease and John playfully glares at you. "What? It's true" you giggle and you can feel Lara Jean's eyes looking at you.

"Only you knew that" he says and you shrug.

"It was worth mentioning" he smiles and shoves you playfully.

Time goes by fast and the group calls it a day. John offers to help Lara Jean clean up and you try to hide your frown which vanishes when Peter steps in.

"I think I can help my girlfriend clean up" Peter says and your eyes widen suddenly and your eyes fall on John Ambrose whose never fading smile is no longer there. Lara Jean looks at John Ambrose and then up at Peter. So Lara Jean didn't mention to John Ambrose that she was with Peter? Wow.

"Perfect, cause Ambrose here and I had some plans" you try to cover up and step besides him. "Come on, let's go" you say with a pleading smile hoping he catches up. You tug on his hand to get him to move.

"Right, I…umm...I'll see you later" he says before he follows you.

"Nice to meet you guys!" You wave as you two walk away.

"So you didn't know?"

"She never mentioned it…" John Ambrose says with a small frown, his eyes looking down.

"Interesting" you nod your head before frowning. "I knew something was up from everything that you told me…"

"I thought...I don't know…"

"Hey, you didn't know. That's okay. It is not your fault, Ambrose. Don't try to blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong…"

"Right…" it's all he says.

"Maybe this is the signal you needed, you know? To let go of the past, get on with your present and future…"

"Maybe…" he says and falls back on his bed. You have gone to his house after the whole awkward scenario.

"You should…" you choose your words carefully, cause you know they will be out of place, and most importantly, not sound too selfish. "You should get rid of that letter, so you don't hold onto some hope…"

"You know what that letter meant for me, Y/N…"

"Yeah but...gosh, do I need to write you one, Ambrose? Because right now I don't know how else to say it" you say as you stand from the bed and he sits up looking confused.

"Say what?"

"You are...so blind sometimes…" you sigh. "You know what, don't make me say it…" you frown. "I know you want to hold onto the one thing that reminds you that someone liked you in middle school, and that's okay…" the next words get past your lips before you can even process them correctly in your head. "but what about who likes you now? Doesn't that have more sentimental value or whatever?"

"Wait, who likes me now-?"

"Oh my God, Ambrose. Me!" You blurt out and your eyes widen just like his. "This is...terrible, terrible timing but I need you to get your head to go past that letter. It will only hold you back…"

"Y/N...I don't know what to say...I-"

"Don't...just...nevermind it...I didn't expect anything to be said" you bite your lip and reach for your keys on his desk. "I'll see you at school, Ambrose." You had to get out of there. Quickly.

"No. Wait, Y/N, come on…" he is quick to stand up and get in between you and the door. "Do you mean that?"

You scoff at the question, "You think I'd blurt something like that and not mean it? I thought you'd take a hint with everything but gosh, you are so naive sometimes" you smirk weakly. "You are basically the only guy that I keep close, invite him over to my house, to go out, I join you and support you on everything and the funniest thing is that at first I did it because it was fun and I liked spending time with you because you are such a great guy and all of a sudden it became more...I don't even know when all of this happened and I'm sorry...I didn't want to ruin our friendship if I said it before…" you admit.

"You would never lose that. Why would you think that?"

"Because you are hung up on her...You look at her in this way and you get so happy talking about her…" you bite the inside of your cheek. You have let on more than you expected and in the most successfully awkward, ranted way possible. You had to-no, you needed to get out before you said more. "I have to go…" and you walk right past him and get into your car before driving off, leaving him behind.

#john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose mcclaren imagine #john ambrose mcclaren imagines #tatbilb imagine #tatbilb imagines #john ambrose imagine #john ambrose imagines #(mine)#tatbilb #ps i still love you #john ambrose x reader

106 notes · View notes

tulipatheticx · 4 years

Text

Good Intentions - John Ambrose Imagine

Note: This my first time sharing my writing because I genuinely think I suck but my baby John Ambrose deserves better than this disrespect. I’m sorry the ending sucks but I struggled writing it ngl. I usually have a song on repeat while writing a song so the song is the title in this case. I hope you enjoy this send me prompts pls.

Pairing: John Ambrose x Reader

Warning: None

Prompt:` Reader goes back to Portland for the first time after an embarrassing incident with John Ambrose on her graduation night. (2244 words)

Song: Good intentions - Rini

-----------------

You threw yourself onto your bed, taking in the scent that you missed so dearly. That familiar aroma that brought you comfort and peace of mind. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed the scent that reminded you of home. Being familiar with it all your life, you had anticipated a change. A sense of an adventure to venture out of the comfort of the town you had known since birth. That change came crawling towards you when you decided to attend university in New York. The city was a contrast to everything you knew in Portland. The chaos and rush of it all was something you had never known but you still wouldn’t give it up for anything. New York was an opportunity that was handed to you by the skies that you did not even dare hesitate to say yes. It was everything you needed. But every now and then, the city would get too loud and shine too bright that you would grow slightly nostalgic of the simpler days back home. You would never admit it to your parents, but it was still a feeling you missed. Maybe it was the sense of familiarity you missed. The feeling that you would wake up in the morning and everything would be the same as it was when you closed your eyes the previous night.

But now here you sat on your bed, looking out the window at a sight of the familiar street. You let out a deep sigh, fixing your coat and adjusting your scarf before heading out. Lara Jean had texted you the night prior about meeting up in the Corner Café and you gladly accepted the invite. Lara Jean was one of the only people you kept in contact with after leaving for university. Honestly, you didn’t really care for anyone else besides her. Even with the frequent texts and occasionally face times, you had missed her. She was your best friend after all, and you hadn’t seen her in what felt like a decade. You decided that a small walk to the café wouldn’t hurt and you’d get to relive aspects of your adolescent on your way there. With your hands in your pockets, you inhaled deeply and smiled as the cold crispy air filled your lungs. Even small things like that was something you loved about this town. The sidewalks where you spent most of your childhood. The front yards you hid in while playing hide and seek. Your teen years were filled being boy crazy. You couldn’t lie, you were crazy about one boy. You weren’t one for liking people but when it came to John Ambrose, he was an exception. The only exception if you were honest. He made it easy to like him, if you had to admit. He was someone who was so well spoken and eloquent. Someone who would make you feel a thousand emotions by just his words. You never really admitted how you felt towards him, keeping that secret buried deep down. One night comes to mind when your thoughts take you back to John Ambrose; your graduation night. Oh, that dreadful night.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you find yourself standing in front of the entrance of the café. It held so many memories; most of them taking you back to high school. You pull the door and look around before spotting your best friend sitting in her usual stool. A faint smile painted your lips as you see her sipping on her cherry coke. Some things never change. You think as you slowly approach her, giving her a tight back hug. “Y/n, you’re finally here!” She exclaims as she turns the chair around, giving you one of her warm hugs. You almost forgot how great Lara Jean’s hugs were. “I missed you so much” you let out as you wrap both arms around her figure. She tightens the hug at the remark before pulling away and patting the stool in front of her. You hop onto it, ordering a cup of coffee to fill you up with the warmth your body very much needed. You and LJ spent a few hours ruminating about the past and talking about small incidents that weren’t mentioned in the usual texts exchanged with her. It felt nice to see her after so long, even if you had talked almost daily, seeing her in front of you was something different. In midst of your conversation about Christmas gifts and cookies you plan on baking, a familiar voice interrupt. “Covey, look who I ran into” it says. You turn around to see the voice belonging to the one and only Peter Kavinsky. Next to him, you see who Peter had referenced to. It was John Ambrose. What are the fucking odds?

Peter pauses in his steps, taking in your features. “Y/n? I almost didn’t recognize you” He states, leaning in to give you a brief hug. Wrapping an arm around him to return the gesture, your reply “Didn’t thing getting rid of the glasses had such a huge impact”. He pulls away and goes to place his arm around LJ who reciprocates his action by leaning into him. LJ smiles at the man who seemed to just stand awkwardly next to you. “John Ambrose, it’s really good seeing you again”. He offers her one of his famous smiles and replies. You honestly didn’t hear what he had said, embarrassment filling your blood causing a flush of pink to appear on your cheeks. You look back at your friend, “I think I’ll leave now. I promised my mom I’ll be back to help her with the Christmas tree” You hurriedly think of an excuse to remove yourself from the situation before anything you say makes it worse. And knowing yourself, you will say the wrong thing and make it worse. “Did you walk here?” quizzes John as he turns to look at you.

“Yeah, but I like the walk so I’ll just head back.”

“I’ll walk along with you then.” John offers, shooting you another smile of his. Those damn smiles will be the death of you.

“You don’t have to; I mean you just got here” You resist

“I was already planning to go back. We can go together.” he insists, then turning to the couple to bid his goodbyes not giving you another second to protest. You find yourself exiting the café with him. The two of you walk in silence for a little bit. “How have you been?” he questions you, “How is studying in New York?”

“It’s quaint. A big difference from here but in a good sense. What about you?”

“Washington is interesting” he replies, a small chuckle following his response, “Political science takes a toll on you to an extent, but you find a way to pull through”

“Glad to know you never changed your mind on Political science. Hasn’t that been the plan since the sixth grade?”

“You still remember that?”

“Of course.” You lean towards him, lightly nudging his side. You let the silence take over once more. It lasts slightly longer this time as you continue walking towards your designated destination. “I don’t think I’ve seen you since your graduation night” Oh shit. Here it is. You stay silent, not trusting your mouth with what nonsense it might spew. He finds that as his cue to continue, “You left abruptly not giving me a chance to reply”

You stop in your steps, a cold breath escaping your lips as you finally lift your gaze from the frosted floor to look up at him. He notices the sudden pause, his head turning slightly to see you. When he realizes that you had no intention of moving, he decides to retrace his previous steps to align with where you current stood. You shut your eyes for a second, gathering enough courage to allow your mouth to form actual words. “John. I shouldn’t have even told you that I like you. I wish I had something to blame it on like alcohol or the thrill of life but when I said the words out loud, I realized I shouldn’t. I mean it was always Lara jean for you and it would’ve always been Lara Jean. Saying it wasn’t for you, it was more for me. A way to finally have a load off my chest removed. A burden I carried when LJ first told me she liked you. A burden that grew heavier when you sent her a letter back. A pain that arose when she told me she kissed you. I felt like Atlas, carrying the entire world on my shoulder. Carried so much weight all through high school, I wanted to leave it behind in Portland and start fresh in New York. I hated that I lost the only other person I enjoy having as company because of my feelings. I lost my best friend.”

“Will I have a say in this?”

“I don’t want to hear something that would just break me. The hardest thing I had to do was leave this town and not even tell you goodbye- ”

“Y/n?”

“- and dreaded every night I spent in New York knowing I ruined an amazing friendship where we can talk about anything and everything. It was even worse when I wanted to get over you but-”

“I liked you” he interrupts you. You stand there still, your face giving him a confused look. “I liked you then and I honestly still do.”

You stood there dumbfounded at what he was saying. Was this a dream? You look down and count your fingers. You have ten of them. You look up at the sky. You can see the sky perfectly clear. You turn to look back at John Ambrose and it was his turn to give you a puzzled gaze. You poke his chest. He’s not a hallucination. “Is this actually happening? I’m confused?”

He strikes another one of his infamous smiles, taking a small step towards you. “I still like you very much. It was always you and I was blinded for a mere second, but I found my way back to you. I was so happy when you confessed, ruined my plans to do so, but then you ran away. And you refused to see me when I came knocking at your door. And you ignored all my calls and texts. And I spent every second trying to tell you I felt the same, but you just seemed to pull away even further with every attempt.”

He pulls a letter from his pocket, placing it in your hands, before he lets his hands rest on top of yours. He moves a few more steps towards you, closing the space that was previously in the way. “You were supposed to read this that night and you would’ve known how I truly felt about you.”

You stood there speechless, unsure of what to say. Not even your dreams were this kind to you. Your eyes searched his face for a hint of insincerity, but none was found. His eyes gleamed with hope and sparked with curiosity. His features were soft and seemed genuine; like he meant every word. You had never been this close to him, but here he was in flesh and blood telling you everything you ever wanted to hear. Your feelings for John Ambrose never wavered even with time and distance. There was something about John that you could never let go of. No matter how much you tried, you never could cut that tie that held you to him. He was different from anything you ever felt towards a person romantically. And with the words he said, you started to notice the little things he used to do. The way he knew you inside out. Any change in your tone, he would know that something was wrong. All the nights you had spent together in each other’s arms as you entertained yourselves with horrible blockbuster movies. How he was so comfortable being affectionate towards you. The way he would drop everything when you called him in distress. The hours he’d spend with you on the phone when you had a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep. He was your comfort. Your home. It was always him and it would always be him.

The feeling of coldness brushing against your cheek brought you back to reality. “So, is that a yes for a date tonight that’s long overdue?” You chuckle and nod your head, “Yeah. That’s a definite yes.” His smile grows brighter at your response, the curiosity in his eyes was now replaced with satisfaction. He takes a hand of yours and laces it with his, the pieces of that puzzle coming together easily. Like your hands were meant to fit together perfectly. “I think it’s going to snow soon. We should hurry back” He comments before the both of you resume your path home. Your eyes form a crescent as you stare at him, content with everything life was currently offering you. He turns to look at you and mirrors your smile. And that moment, small yet precious was one you knew you would treasure forever. Even though you didn’t know what the future had in stores for you and John Ambrose; you knew in that current state of time, you were his and he was yours.

#john ambrose #john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose imagine #john ambrose x reader #tatbilb #ps i still love you #john ambrose imagines #tatbpsisly

88 notes · View notes