#just to share but I was listening to last hope by paramore on repeat and this idea just popped into me

[golbrocklovely]

What would be the soundtrack to your life? Pick 3 songs for each stage of your life (child, preteen, teen, young adult, adult).

wow this is such a fun question, i love this :)

this was also very difficult to choose but i think i got it down. anything with a * is a song i personally related to at the time/still relate to.

childhood stage

hero by mariah carey

believe by cher

you're still the one by shain twain

bonus track: i hope you dance by lee ann womack

so when i was four years old, i decided i wanted to be a singer. and these songs were the reasons why i wanted to be. i remember distinctively listening to the radio with my mom, and these songs played all the time. the station we listened to was b101 - philly's soft rock station (at the time). i have such vivid memories of this time period, it's crazy. i also have a whole playlist of songs that i remember playing on this station, so if yall want me to share it, lemme know.

preteen stage

tangled up in me by skye sweetnam

love me for me by ashlee simpson

*underneath this smile by hilary duff

the preteen era of life, especially the tail end of it, was when i started getting more angsty, which led me into ppl like ashlee and skye, which then led me into the emo music. but i was also secretly a HUGE hilary duff fan. but since she wasn't cool anymore, i had to hide my love for her lol

also fun fact, i performed love me for me in a talent show in fourth grade. i didn't win, but it was one of the only times i've ever perform solo, especially that young.

teenage stage

take a breath by the jonas brothers

*alibis by marianas trench

*what a catch, donnie by fall out boy

bonus track: *stars by switchfoot

the jonas brothers are the reason i'm still alive today, honest to god. even tho i fell in love with them when i was 12ish, i'm gonna count them for my teenage years since that's when i was active in the fandom and constantly paying attention to them. i also found marianas trench around my early teenage years too, technically even before that, but they became major in my life as a teen. same with fob.

the album what a catch, donnie is on, folie a deux, i didn't like at the time it came out (2009). cut to me in junior year of hs, so 2013ish, i was IN LOVE with that album. so much so ppl knew i listened to that album on repeat all the time. to this day that album fucking slaps.

young adult stage

*caught in the middle by paramore

*that green gentleman by panic! at the disco

*astoria by marianas trench

bonus track: good day by dnce

i know that panic are problematic now, but back when i was in college, the drive up to my university, i would listen to the entirety of pretty odd the whole way. it was the only thing that genuinely calmed me down and centered me before school. i think hearing "things have changed for me, and that's okay" really helped me. bc this was such a dark time for me, since two out of the four years i went to college i was suicidal.

caught in the middle, i remember when that album came out, and hearing that song on vacation with my family and just immediately feeling connected to that song. and astoria was such a good time capsule of my life at the time and how it felt to me. and good day… me and my mom, any time we were in the car, would listen to dnce's album, and we loved this song lol still to this day too

adult stage

*the grudge by olivia rodrigo

*so much for stardust by fall out boy

*crave by paramore

bonus track: anything but me by muna

these were a bit harder to pick, bc i feel like i'm only just starting to feel like an adult. but i'm thinking anything from 25 thru to now counts. and that's when a lot of things started changing for me. i've also been reflecting a lot more, which is how i relate to songs like crave. so much for stardust really feels like what the last couple years have felt on me in a way; thinking life was so much harder before but now realizing no - this is hard. and the grudge is just the perfect embodiment of my ten year friend with my ex best friend ending.

but not all is lost. bc anything but me really is how i feel now. i would also like to add another bonus bonus track: the art of starting over by demi lovato. that song also kinda encompasses me beginning a new, and trying to figure everything out. i'm hopeful, but not sure yet of what to do.

#ask #personal

[loveforseo]

It’s them.

Been thinking of a different timeline where Kihyuk lives and will eventually cross paths with Seokyoon at the residence. While Moonjo, the rest of the insane residents at eden, and even Jongwoo at certain times finds Seokyoon’s outgoing and talkative demeanor annoying, oddly enough, Kihyuk grows “fond” of it. Even more so, the younger captures his interest and attention. It’s not everyday that you will come across a sunshine in a run down place of a goshiwon that is the closest to hell as it can be.

Seokyoon being the sunshine that he is despite of the hardships that life continues to throw at him reminds Kihyuk of himself in the past.

He was once just like him too.

Until he gave up on everything.

Because apparently, it was all for nothing. It was all useless after the people that were once closest to him, betrayed him and left him damaged. It was enough to made him realized that hell is other people. It was a turning point for him.

So Kihyuk eventually slipped into the darkness where he found the strange comfort of being rarely liked by his “creator”.

So maybe in this timeline, instead of a descend to madness like with what happened to mjjw (it’s their brand at this point) Seokyoon would be a glimmer of hope and realization for Kihyuk that “Oh, maybe I was wrong. People are indeed hell, but not this one. This one is too special.”

#just to share but I was listening to last hope by paramore on repeat and this idea just popped into me #the lyrics on last hope feels like it can fit Kihyuk’s life before the eden residence happened to him #maybe it’s a nice contradiction where mjjw is a descend to madness and kihyuk x seokyoon would be somehow of a redemption arc idk #also kihyuk calling seokyoon “my sunshine” ummm YES PLEASE #yoo kihyuk #kang seokyoon #strangers from hell #hell is other people #sfh drabbles

[angelguk]

this prompt: jock!jaykay and namjoon running into each other at a party or sth and namjoon being like ‘you finally grow a pair and ask oc out yet?’ and jks just like 😧 and joons like ‘seriously dude? 😑 i’ve been waiting for you to ask her out since before i even dated her’. but make it more angst!!! namjoon is kind of an asshole here. there’s smoking, drinking and jk getting a brief lapdance. oc is a LIAR. jaykay deep in his feels tbh. roughly 1.5k. listen to all i wanted by paramore

Jeongguk's crossed too many paths with people during his life to remember every face his eyes have ever seen. But there’s one he will never forget, no matter how hard he tries to scrub the memory from his brain, ignore the muted forlorn twang in his heart, the low ache that ebbs from the base of his skull. It sparks up again despite years of never seeing the individual who caused the problem. How could he forget those broad shoulders? The sharp analytic eyes. The man whom you’d attached yourself too for a good chunk of your joint high school careers. It surprises him, honestly, because Jeongguk’s got a girl grinding on his lap but his eyes are locked on Namjoon, ears trailing after the sound of his deep laugh instead of the sweet nothings Nayeon (or Naeun, or Nayoung — he can’t fucking remember) is murmuring into the hollow of his neck.

For one, he’s fucked out of his mind. Taehyung probably laced the joint; he liked doing that shit even when it messed up Jeongguk’s trip. He should have known not to take a hit, but he was already ten shots in and nothing sounded better than smoke in his lungs. Maybe not nothing. This girl feels good in his hands, responds to the lightest of his touches, moans in his ear like she wants him to fuck her.

He could. He has before. Probably. She knows exactly where to nip his neck for this to have not been a repeat hook-up. But in the haze of the low living room lights and the spinning headiness of the drinks he’d downed, he couldn’t make out her face. It’d shift and twist and turn into an image that almost makes him want to cry because, at some angles, when the shadows form right, he thinks he can see your face. It could be you in his lap, you whimpering whenever your crotches aligned just right, you clinging to him like the sun hangs onto the evening sky.

But it’s not.

And for some unfathomable reason, Jeongguk’s ruined mind recognises that sucks.

Because it should be you.

He doesn’t know how he gets that girl off. Probably some lie that he needed to pee. In reality, he needed to breathe, because those thoughts surface with malicious intent, purposefully drawing him closer to deep dangerous waters. If he’s not careful he could easily drown, suffocated by desires he can’t even string together into a comprehensible sentence.

The night air hits sharp, seeping through his loose shirt. It grounds him enough for his steps to stabilise, feet following a slow trudge to the edge of the balcony. He doesn’t even know whose house this is. Somebody he’s probably never met honestly. But he wanted you to come. Everyone was coming out tonight. Even your elusive roommate Sohee was somewhere in some bathroom with a head between her thighs. You probably are doing that too, to be far. Even the name evokes bile from his throat, bitter and violent, full of jealousy he’d never really learnt to contain.

Lee Eunwoo. A graphic design major. Slightly taller than Jeongguk (only when Jeongguk is having a bad day) and somehow he can make you giggle like he’s getting paid for it.

You’d mentioned it so softly that Jeongguk didn’t even hear it at first. But then your cheeks had heated up, that stupid sparkle melting through your gaze. You wanted to spend the night with him, take advantage of an empty apartment, perhaps watch a movie or two.

It's obvious that you were going to sleep with him. The thought itself irked something visceral inside of Jeongguk. But he’d given you an easy smile, laughed at the modesty of your demeanour and wished you well with a tight hug. The same low buzzing of frustration that he got when you were with Namjoon was already waning through his system as he completed his sets at the gym with more force than needed.

Which is why he can’t help but release a bitter laugh into the night. Ironically, Namjoon was here while you were getting your back blown out by another idiotic guy Jeongguk did not like.

“What’s so funny?”

He can’t spin around to face him, Jeongguk knows he’ll throw up if he does. But he can’t forget a timbre like that. Not when you nearly wrote a poem about how wonderful Kim Namjoon’s voice was. A poem which you recited to Jeongguk before he begged you to rip it to shreds and never talk about again.

(Subconsciously Jeongguk had adopted a deeper voice whenever he talked to you since then. It came out more when he was drunk, but it’s not like you paid any attention anyway).

“Nothing,” he returns. He hopes Namjoon gets the hint and goes away. The bastard joins him on the balcony instead.

“No, seriously, what’s funny? You look like you’ve got a lot going on in your head.” Namjoon was always so concerned in talking about emotions and putting your feelings into words. It’s one of the reasons why you loved him and probably reason one thousand why Jeongguk hated him.

“Hello to you too, Kim Namjoon. Don’t you think we should catch up on the pleasantries before you start psychoanalysing me?” He retorts, forcing his gaze onto the other man. Namjoon looks good; golden skin, broad shoulders and his hair cropped short. There’s an ease to him that Jeongguk could never replicate no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps that’s what happens when you’re born sure of yourself. Like Namjoon was.

The laugh he receives is empty. Namjoon is busy rifling through his pockets, fingers emerging with a joint and a lighter. “Nice to see you too, Jeon. Didn’t think I’d ever bump into you after high school but the universe works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?” The jay slips between his lips, followed by a swift flick of the lighter before a deep inhale that Jeongguk swears he feels in his lungs. The smoke floats out pretty, fading into wisps of nothing but grey as the breeze sweeps it away. Namjoon offers it cordially, a simple raise of his defined eyebrows and even though Jeongguk’s legs are melting through the floor he can’t say no.

“You sure?” The doubt tinting his tone makes him take it. His overestimation in his maintenance capabilities leads to a rather rough inhale, and an even worse hacking cough that he wants to be mortified at because Namjoon fucking laughs. But he can’t when the world feels like air in his fingertips, slowly slipping away. Almost like you feel at times. 

“You should stop taking the shit Taehyung rolls. I don’t even know what he slips in there but last time I smoked with him I thought I was on Mars.”

“Taehyung offers, I never ask.”

“You never ask for anything to be frank.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Namjoon returns, smoke falling from his lips.

“Yeah, I fucking did. I was giving you the chance to pretend you didn’t say it.” Jeongguk’s all in his space in an instant, the itch to smash Namjoon’s face tingling beneath his skin. Namjoon doesn’t even back up, gracing Jeongguk with a quizzical look that leaves him bewildered. “You don’t fucking know me—"

“I do.” There’s a scoff that riles him up even further. Namjoon’s still incredibly unbothered as he talks. “You think being Y/N’s boyfriend I didn’t hear everything and anything about you? Jeongguk this! Jeongguk that! You know that’s the reason we broke up, right?”

That halts him, a lag in his brain as he attempts to process the words leaving Namjoon’s mouth. The older man just stares at him, the sigh that drifts in between them bordering on pity.

“She didn’t tell you that, did she? Y/N lies about a lot more things than you think, Jeon. Where is she by the way? I’ve seen all her friends but I haven’t seen her.”

“Why would you know her friends?” It’s a stupid question but in the jumble of his thoughts it’s the only thing his mind is capable of plucking out. A question that doesn’t leave him bare and vulnerable like the other one’s racing through his head.

“We don’t have each other blocked on everything. Sometimes we talk,” Namjoon supplies easily. And just like that Jeongguk crumbles. He’s not even aware of it but the first crack spears deep enough to leave the rest of him unstable, wavering as he falters away from Namjoon. You never told him any of this. As far as Jeongguk knew you ended the relationship hating him (a thought that briefly consoled Jeongguk if he’s being truthful). But apparently, you felt comfortable enough to share your life with the person Jeongguk thought hurt you the most.

“Man, fuck you.” It’s a release, to say it. Because honestly fuck Kim Namjoon. In the span of a few short sentences he’s tipped everything he’s ever been sure of upside-down, stomped on Jeongguk’s heart like it was bendable and ducked his head right into the ocean he was afraid of diving it, keeping it under until the water filled his lungs and Jeongguk ceased to function.

Namjoon shrugs, not even looking as Jeongguk stumbles back to the door. He needs to find you, ask how much of Namjoon’s words were true. He doesn’t care if Eunwoo is over he’ll kick him out if need be.

But then Namjoon opens his mouth one more time, the final nail in the coffin.

“You should have asked her out. I was waiting for you to it — she was probably waiting too.”

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #yeah yeah this is bad but um! i tired #sorry i took away the wholesome couple trope... i think jj oc and jk have shit to work out tbh #au: jock!jaykay #thank u for the prompt annonie!! #bts x reader #bts angst

[technoskittles]

Pure Feeling Playlist

Okay, so I had someone on twitter express interest in the songs I have for my playlist for Pure Feeling and figured, yeah, I could share it. I don’t have a spotify (I don’t like the interface plus the music selection is way too limited for my taste) and the playlist itself is on Youtube Music. It’s also private because I don’t really want random people seeing it or other people messing with it if I unlocked it, so I’ll just type up all the songs here with links that way y’all can scroll through and listen to what you want.

I understand there’s probably an easier and faster way to do this probably, but hey, with the quarantine I clearly have some extra time on my hands so why not?

Though, couple of warnings:

1. It’s LOOOOOOONG (it’s 300+ songs in total) (don’t worry I’m gonna put this under a cut)

2. Some of the songs aren’t going to make much sense in terms of the AU. This is for two reasons: a) Some of the songs allude to events/characters that haven’t shown up in the story yet (there’s a LOT of songs regarding Mara’s father) and b) some of them are just general songs that I use to get a basis of emotion/vibe when writing particular types of scenes.

3. My music tastes are all over the place (and this doesn’t even include some of the other genres I listen to just because it doesn’t fit this AU lol)

But this playlist is my main muse and is probably one of the best insights to my process/inner thoughts so, without further ado.....my full playlist.

(I grouped the songs from the same artist together for the easiest convenience)

(And some songs might kind of be repeats if I listen to multiple versions for the purpose of this fic)

Got any favorites? Any songs that worry you about the future of this fic? Or just something you might want more clarification on? Feel free to shoot me ask about it!

South London Forever by Florence + The Machine

Patricia by Florence + The Machine

I Will Be by Florence + The Machine

Too Much Is Never Enough by Florence + The Machine

You’ve Got The Love by Florence + The Machine

Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

Ship To Wreck by Florence + The Machine

St. Jude by Florence + The Machine

Over The Love by Florence + The Machine

Pure Feeling by Florence + The Machine (hey look it’s the fic title)

Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine

What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine

Stuck On You by Meiko

Stuck On You (Acoustic Version) by Meiko

Adventure of A Lifetime by Coldplay

Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay

Simple and Clean by Hikaru Utada

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI - Hikaru Utada

Be My Last by Hikaru Utada

Colors by Hikaru Utada

Distance (M-Flo Remix) by Hikaru Utada

Without You (Justice Skolnik Remix) by Oh Wonder

Rockabye by Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie

In The Rain (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by David Russell)

Stone Heart (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by sxrlove06)

Lost In The Moment by Daniel Lee Kendall

Fragile by ARCADES

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

Scary Love by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather (Vaski Remix) by The Neighbourhood

Honest by The Neighbourhood

Alleyways by The Neighbourhood

Stuck With Me by The Neighbourhood

Lights by Ellie Goulding

Goodness Gracious (The Chainsmokers Remix) by Ellie Goulding

Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

Don’t Need Nobody by Ellie Goulding

Candy-Coloured Sky by Catmosphere

‘Till We’re In The Sea by RKCB

affection by Jinsang

summers day v2 by Jinsang

Let Go by Frou Frou

Must Be Dreaming by Frou Frou

I Just Want You by Robert Duncan

Forget by Alicks

Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier

Nevermind by Dennis Lloyd

Let It Happen by Tame Impala

Think About You by Kygo ft. Valerie Broussard

First Time by Kygo ft. Ellie Goulding

Fragile by Kygo ft. Labrinth

Feel Your Love by Nyquill

I See You by MISSIO

Learn To Let Go by Kesha

Praying by Kesha

I Love My Life by Justice Crew

Sex by Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam

Everlong by Foo Fighters

Party Like It’s Your Birthday by Studio Killers

The Disappearance of The Girl by Phildel

Soul On Fire by Mystery Skulls

we’ve never met but, can we have coffee or something? by in love with a ghost

What is Love? by Y//2//K & Yung Death Ray ft. Jaymes Young

A Manner to Act by Ra Ra Riot

Suckers by Ra Ra Riot

Do You Remember by Ra Ra Riot

You And I Know by Ra Ra Riot

Oh, La by Ra Ra Riot

Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot

Consequence by The Notwist

Anyone Else by PVRIS

Dead Weight by PVRIS

Can You Hold Me by NF ft. Britt Nicole

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

No Fear by Dej Loaf

I’ve Been Waiting by Lil Peep & ILoveMakonnen ft. Fall Out Boy

Give U Up by CALVIN (I’m sorry in advance for this one)

Heartbeat by Scouting For Girls

Keep It Simple by Tove Lo

Sweettalk My Heart by Tove Lo

Glad He’s Gone by Tove Lo

Not On Drugs by Tove Lo

Got Love by Tove Lo

Crave by Tove Lo

Paradise by Tove Lo

Moments by Tove Lo

Talking Body by Tove Lo

Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo

Scars by Tove Lo

Out Of Your Mind by Tove Lo

Vibes by Tove Lo

Lies In The Dark by Tove Lo

Come Undone by Tove Lo

dont ask dont tell by Tove Lo

Cherry Blossom by ALA.NI

Feels Like Home by The Him ft. Son Mieux

Quiet by Lights

Skydiving by Lights

365 by Zedd & Katy Perry

Left to Right by Marteen

Could You Love Me? by Black Saint

Midnight City by M83

Marble Soda by Shawn Wasabi

Crystal Dolphin by Engelwood

Pusher (Shawn Wasabi Remix) by Clear ft. Mothica

She’s A Riot by The Jungle Giants

Stranger by Jay Hayden & King Vodka

Now That I’ve Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen

Marty McFly by Luke Christopher

Rocks by Imagine Dragons

All Day And Night by Jax Jones ft. Madison Beer & Martin Solveig

Run Free by Deep Chills ft. IVIE

Maps by Maroon 5

Feelings by Maroon 5

blue by Pools

High Hopes (The Lucifer Edit) by Quails

breathin’ by Ariana Grande

Into You by Ariana Grande

Shy Girl by Kedam

Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club

What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club

Sleep Alone by Two Door Cinema Club

This Is The Life by Two Door Cinema Club

Do You Want It All? by Two Door Cinema Club

Sun by Two Door Cinema Club

Eat That Up, It’s Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club

Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club

Sunflower by Post Malone & Swan Lee

Señorita by Shawn Medes & Camila Cabello

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

Everybody’s Angel by Down With Webster

All Fall Down by OneRepublic

Counting Stars by OneRepublic

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy

Jenny by Walk The Moon

Youth by Daughter

Get Lucky (Cover) by Daughter

Love by Daughter

River Flows In You by Yiruma

Girls And Boys In School by Neon Trees

Girls And Boys In School (EP Version) by Neon Trees

Helpless by Neon Trees

In The Next Room by Neon Trees

Beings by Madeon

Dried-Out Cities by Fallulah

Bloodline by Fallulah

Almost Home by Mariah Carey

Headlock by Imogen Heap

Closing In by Imogen Heap

Lifeline by Imogen Heap

Goodnight And Go by Imogen Heap

First Train Home by Imogen Heap

I Am In Love With You by Imogen Heap

The Walk by Imogen Heap

More by Kaskade & Felix Cartal ft. Jenn Blosil

Lay Down by Kaskade & Late Night Alumni

My Distance by Kaskade

Lessons In Love by Kaskade ft. Neon Trees

Kill The Lights (Audien Remix) by Alex Newell ft. DJ Cassidy, Nile Rogers, & Jess Glynne

Fall In Love/Lie by INNA

Cola Song by INNA

Caliente by INNA

Iguana by INNA

Ruleta by INNA ft. Erik

I Like You by INNA

Love by INNA

Shining Star by INNA

Bebe by INNA

Bebe (Yaniss Extended Remix) by INNA

Better Not by Louis The Child ft. Wafia

Living Island by Pogo

Still Into You by Paramore

Hard Times by Paramore

Emergency by Paramore

Ignorance by Paramore

I Caught Myself by Paramore

Letting Go by HERB x Kendall Miles

To Be Human by Sia ft. Labrinth

Big Girls Cry (ODESZA Remix) by Sia

Elastic Heart by Sia

Angel By The Wings by Sia

If You Didn’t See Me (Then You Weren’t On The Dancefloor) by Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Butterfly In The Still by Iwasaki Taku

Dare (La La La) by Shakira

Me Enamore by Shakira

Loca by Shakira ft. Dizzee Rascal

Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) by Shakira

Addicted To You by Shakira

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira

When A Woman by Shakira

Can’t Remember To Forget You by Shakira ft. Rihanna

Better Than Yesterday by HollySiz

This is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

Rain by Pueblo Vista ft. .Eehlou & Shiloh Dynasty

G.B.D. Pressure (Extended) by Chillster

Valentine by Aether ft. Veela

Lemme See by Usher ft. Rick Ross

Promises by Aly & AJ

Like Whoa by Aly & AJ

Silence by Aly & AJ

Find A Way by Safety Suit

Ordinary Day by Emilie Mover

Green Light by Lorde

Don’t Feel Like Crying (MK Remix) by Sigrid

Crazy in Love by EDEN ft. Leah Kelly

Broken Girl by Matthew West

Crazy in Love by Sofia Karlberg

This Is What Makes Us Girls (The Confect Remix) by Lana del Rey

1901 by Phoenix

Lisztomania by Phoenix

Please Don’t Touch by RAYE

Island In The Sun by Weezer

God Is A Dancer by Tiesto & Mabel

Tighten Up by The Black Keys

Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups

Don’t Play by Halsey

Bad At Love by Halsey

Young God by Halsey

Now Or Never by Halsey

Hurricane by Halsey

Drive by Halsey

Eyes Closed by Halsey

Eyes Closed (Stripped) by Halsey

Haunting by Halsey

Strangers by Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui

100 Letters by Halsey

Ghost by Halsey

Break A Sweat by Becky G

Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men

I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red

Run by Alison Wonderland

I Want U by Alison Wonderland

Peace by Alison Wonderland

Peace (Acoustic) by Alison Wonderland

Dead To Me by Kali Uchis

Good Enough by Evanescence

Go Slow by Gorgon City & Kaskade ft. Romeo

Feel Good Inc by filous & LissA

All I Need by Within Temptation

A Lot Like Love (Oliver Heldens Edit) by The Voyagers ft. Haris

Hideaway by Kiesza

Memories by KSHMR ft. Sirah

American Sadness by XYLO

One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks

Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler

Hope Of Morning by Icon For Hire

Collect Call by Metric

Flowers On The Grave (Acoustic) by The Maine

Fabulous by Ally Brooke

Falling (blackbear Remix) by Trevor Daniel

You by Petit Biscuit

Unlove You (Drop G Remix) by Armin van Burren ft. Ne-Yo

Formation (R-TRAX Trap Remix) by Beyonce

Schoolin’ Life by Beyonce

Simmer by Hayley Williams

Ruby by Foster The People

Moral Of The Story by Ashe

Colorblind (Left/Right Remix) by Karma Fields ft. Tove Lo

Don’t Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum

Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant

Don’t Stop the Fancy Footwork (Chromeo vs. Rihanna)

She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) by David Guetta ft. Sia

Slow Burn by Audiograf

Write My Story by Olly Anna

1 Thing by Amerie

I Like That by Janelle Monae

Your Favorite Place by Joey Pecoraro

Beauty Mark by Parov Stelar ft. Anduze

Dead Hearts by Stars

Change of Seasons (EP Version) by Sweet Thing

Larger Than Life by Pink Zebra ft. Benji Jackson

Are You With Me (Pretty Pink Remix) by Lost Frequencies

Nothing But by Skin

In Common (Kenny Dope Remix) by Alicia Keys

Resonance by HOME

All Stars by Martin Solveig ft. ALMA

Lavender’s Blue Dilly Dilly [From the Cinderella (2015) OST]

Besame Mucho by Jorge Blanco

Touch You Right Now by Basic Element

Dinero by Trinidad

Icon (Reggaeton Remix) by Jaden Smith ft. Nicky Jam & Will Smith

Make Me Sweat by Kat DeLuna

Sombredosis by Kat DeLuna ft. El Cata

Real Love by Memory Tapes

Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko

This Side Of Paradise by Hayley Kiyoko

Wanna Be Missed by Hayley Kiyoko

Gravel To Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko

Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko

Fiesta (Remix) by Bombe Estereo ft. Will Smith

Love by TeZATalks

Had by TeZATalks

Heal by Loreen

Analyser by AlunaGeorge

Attracting Flies by AlunaGeorge

Damaged by Plummet

My Kind by Hilary Duff

Sparks by Hilary Duff

Talk by DJ Snake ft. George Maple

First summer without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

First birthday without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

2 Heads by Coleman Hell

Mathematics by Little Boots

Hearts Collide by Little Boots

Meddle by Little Boots

Parachute by Cheryl Cole

When she went away by Max Richter

When she came back by Max Richter

Who Knew by Pink

Lash Out by Alice Merton

Back To The Start by Mr. Little Jeans

Perfecto. by Ayo. & .Disfnk ft. Daniela Andrade

service by j^p^n

I’m In Love Again by tomppabeats

Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo

Falling Apart by Michael Schulte

Dusk ‘Til Dawn by ZAYN ft. Sia

Pillowtalk by ZAYN

Minimal Beat by Lindsey Stirling

Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga

Do I Wanna Know? (Cover) by CHVRCHES

La Familia (Guy Sigsworth Remix) by Mirah

Broken Parts by The Ready Set & Mokita

Invisible Chains by Lauren Jauregui

Lonely Gun by CYN

Cartier by Dopebwoy ft. 3robi & Chivv

Boss Bitch by Doja Cat

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pure feeling #ash writes #pure feeling playlist #playlist #if some of these links are wrong or repeat forgive me #I wasn't about to go through and double check them all #if nothing else you have the titles and these are all on youtube #will probably be adding onto this as I add more songs to my playlist #so I just realized that the links aren't showing up for some reason on the published post #even though when I went to edit they're still there??? #I'm very sorry about that #just copy and paste into youtube I guess?

[newcaptainofsquad9]

Oh my God, we’re roommates!~ Kate x fem reader (Tanner Hall)~College AU-Part 1

Pairing: Kate x reader

Summary: You return to university to start your junior year. While moving into your new on campus apartment, you find your new roommate, Kate, your old friend and school girl crush back when you went to Tanner Hall. She reveals that she recently transferred to finish up her college credits toward her bachelor’s degree and is totally excited to start the new semester, while you’re trying not to crack under the weight of your lingering crush. 

Word Count: 1, 355

Writer’s Note: I was thinking of this AU literally when I woke up this morning. I’ve been at university for a few semesters, so its about time I write something like this. Drugs and alcohol are mentioned, these are fictional characters and situations, but please be responsible if you do partake in these things. This is my first Kate fic, so let me know how it is along with any ideas you have for future parts. Hope you enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________

The last elevator ride up made my stomach tie and twist in knots. Mom and Dad follow me down to my room, number 206. I quickly take out my newly fresh golden key, now attached to my lanyard. The room is the same as I left it minutes ago when I went to grab the rest of my stuff, instead of the bag and jacket on the bed across from my own. 

“It looks like you missed your new roomie again,” dad says.

He drops my last box in the corner on my side of the room as mom turns to me with a small grin. 

“Well, this is where we leave you again,” mom whispers. 

Dad does the same and I can already see the tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. 

“Yeah,” he says, “bring it in.”

I hug him and then mom tightly. It’s good to get this over with quick. They cried the first time I left, I really don’t want a repeat. This time I’ll cry right along with them. 

“Hope the semester goes well, call us if you need us,” dad says. 

Mom nods and presses a kiss to my forehead. 

“Drive back safe,” I say with a wave. 

Dad gives me a quick look and nods while leaving with mom behind him. 

Once they’re gone and down the hall I flop down on the bed. Let’s just hope I make a few more friends this semester. Sure, I have Rob and Jane, but they’re also English majors and love the same geeky stuff I do, but I need to branch out. Isn’t that why I’m here for? I’ve been here for a few years and I still haven’t scratched the surface of what I could do and see. God, it was so much easier at Tanner Hall, when it was harder to travel the town and even campus. Now, I have too much freedom and don’t know what to do with it. 

I sit up quickly as I hear the knob twitch then turn. It opens to reveal my roommate, a familiar face that I never thought I’d see again in over a decade. Kate walks through the door with a black Paramore T-shirt on and her blonde hair a little shorter and more curly than I remembered. Her hazel eyes dart  up and widen as she spots me. 

“Y/N?” she asks. 

“K-Kate,” I whisper as I stand, “it’s Y/N, Y/L/N. Back at Tanner Hall we were in Mr. Middlewood’s English class.”

Kate grins cheekily and bites her lip, almost making me pass out right there. She’s still as gorgeous as I remember. 

“How could I forget,” she giggles, “you answered every question he had perfectly and even blushed like a beet whenever I used to poke fun at him.”

I nearly turn red at her words, she never knew about my crush and I hope it stays that way. I need to focus on my studies.

“Yeah,” I say, “you were a master at that.”

Kate chuckles and makes her way over. 

“Come here,” she says, opening her arms. 

I meet her in a tight embrace. She leans her head against my own while I rest my head on her shoulder. She pulls away with a sigh, but rests a hand on my arm. 

“So, how have you been?” she asks.

I grin and shrug.

“All right, just trying to wrap my head around the fact that we’re roommates,” I admit. 

Kate grins brightly and squeezes my shoulder. 

“Oh my God, we’re roommates!” she squeals.

I can’t help but giggle too. At her excitement and the clear vine reference, but it’s due to the fact that I’m roommates with fucking Kate. I won’t have much time to plan what I’m gonna say if I see her, if I want to avoid from looking like a complete idiot.

“Y/N,” Kate says, “you feeling all right? You look a little--ill.”

“U-Uh, yeah! I’m good!” I lie. 

Kate’s eyes linger as her hand comes up from my shoulder and rests against my cheek. I nearly burst into flames at the contact. Why is she still so affectionate?

“You sure?” she asks. 

I nod and swallow whatever I wanted to try and say. Her gaze goes down to my lips for a second but grins again nonetheless. 

“That’s great!” she cheers, “we’re going to have so much fun!”

She finally lets go and skips back to her bed. A sigh of relief rushes through me as I sit back against my bed. 

“You know this is a completely different world than Tanner Hall,” I joke.

Kate pouts and nods.

“Duh, I can finally take a drive when I want and drink without leaving campus,” she says, “in speaking of that, any cool parties on campus?”

I grimace and shake my head. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’m not really the partying type,” I say.

Kate gasps as if I offended her. 

“Y/N, no, no no. I am going to show you fun this semester,” she vows. 

“Drinking isn’t fun,” I let out, “I did it once and wasn’t too wild about it.”

Kate crosses her arms. 

“That still has nothing to do with fun, matter of fact when does your class start?”

“Monday,” I answer, “yours starts the same, right?”

She nods and makes her way back over to me.

“We’ve got the rest of the weekend to hang out,” she suggests, “grab some food that we don’t have to stand in a line for and hit up a party.”

“Kate,” I groan. 

Kate takes my hands again. 

“Y/N, please,” she begs, “you can pick the places, just let me show you a good time, all right?”

I nearly come undone at her words and nod like an idiot again.  

“Fine.”

“Yayyy!” she shrieks, throwing her arms back around me. 

I almost melt in my own skin as she rocks with me. This gives me time to take in her strong perfume and try not to pass out again.

“I missed you,” she whispers into my ear. 

I pull back to find her eyes trained on my own. This is the moment, the moment I can let all of my feelings out and try to get this rejection over with before when get caught up in the semester.

“Kate, listen,” I start.

Kate tilts her head and gives me a hum. 

I open my mouth only to get cut off by an abrupt knock. Kate frowns and pulls away from the embrace. 

“Hold on,” she says, “it’s open!” 

The door opens again, this time revealing a tall guy with close cut black hair and a tank top with our tiger mascot with matching shorts.

 “Dave!” Kate shouts as she rushes over to him.

I can only watch in defeat as she hugs him just as tight as she did with me. She clings to him for a moment and whispers something into his ear. He grins reaches into his shorts pocket and slips a small bag into her hand. Kate pulls back and gives him a quick peck on the lips. He’s gone soon after that, leaving me standing awkwardly in my own room. 

“So, you and Dave huh,” I say. 

Kate turns back to me. 

“Oh, Dave--Dave and I aren’t a thing, use to be, but he just owed me a small favor,” she says. 

I cross my arms and stare firmly at her. 

“And drugs are that favor,” I say. 

Kate scoffs. 

“It’s just a bit of weed Y/N,” she giggles, “I’m guessing you don’t want to try this, do you?”

I shake my head and Kate pouts. 

“Ah, well I can show you more tamed fun I suppose,” she says, “we should get going there’s no time to waste.”

I can’t help but grin as Kate nudges me and holds her arm out to me.

“Shall we?” 

I loop my arm around her own as we walk together out of our shared room. I’m so close to Kate, but it seems thought she hasn’t changed at all and that makes me even more nervous to reveal my true feelings.   

#Brie Larson #brie larson x reader #brie larson x you #tanner hall imagine #kate x reader #college au #fanfiction #fanfic #tanner hall #brie larson imagine

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

#survey #surveys

[theparaminds]

It’s not as though Natalie Green knew what this year held in store or what would exist at the end of the road. Though, at every step of the way, he kept going. Embodied in both his music and his story of perseverance, is a rare example of an artistic soul that found peace where few would ever dream to look. It took months of learning and continued questioning of himself and what he wanted to be. But in the end, it resulted in a man anew.

With a new project taking shape in studio sessions that contrast his earlier life, Natalie Green is finding a voice he previously was nervous to share, speaking louder than before. The ideas, memoirs and anxieties he hopes to express have become clear. With every note, he continually finds himself as much as he does connect to those who battle the same confusions.

Natalie Green now stands with a new asset he hadn’t held prior, the ability to embark on the path he wants, not the one life throws him upon. He can stand and become the artist he visualizes, the artist he knows is essential to reveal to the world. For the first time in a while, Natalie Green is in control, with a steering wheel in hand and a road of possibility on the horizon.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?

Things have been hectic, but good. Good busy you know? There are different kinds of busy and this one has been all positive.

On your last EP last year, it sounded like you weren’t fully at peace, do you find that you are now after a year of personal introspection?

Yeah for sure, when I was writing the EP, I was in a really terrible place physically, emotionally and mentally. It was a passion project when it came out, I didn’t have to think about it. Whereas now, I’ve got a place, I’m not just in my car anymore, I emotionally feel a lot more centered, I have my head on straight. I’ve found friends and people that I love to surround myself with. Everything’s been a thousand times better.

When you’re looking within this shift you’ve undertaken, where do you think you’ve personally grown the most, whether artistically or as an individual?

I think I’ve gotten more empathetic towards people. All people. As well, I feel more self-aware. What I realized when living in my car was that I didn’t know myself. Living in a house again with roommates made me, in a new way, learn more about myself, and where I needed to spend a lot of time mentally. As far as musically, I feel more confident, I think that’s apparent in my vocals and instrumentation, they’re far more personal in that sense.

With the new year in season, being a time of reflecting upon the past year, do you have any memories that stick out to you as positive through the difficult and turbulent times?

There’s a lot. I don’t know if there’s one specific moment, but definitely moving into the apartment. I also got to play a private show in my friend’s backyard for all my close friends. That was a big moment for me. There’s a lot of moments where I had friends reassure me, and believe in me when I wasn’t doing so myself. One of my best friends from back home came to live here a little while ago, that was really special to have him back. The whole tour with Roy, of course, was inspiring, to see him do all that and becoming closer to everyone I went on tour with will forever be in my memories.

With that tour, and even more so working on Cat Heaven, happening while you were working on your own projects, did they influence the way you approached your new work?

There are certain things I learn from other people I can implement in my own music later. There will be something I’ll figure out while I’m working with someone, be it a sound or a new style, I can kinda pull out later. A lot of it is just talking to others and learning their inspirations and how that reflects in their music. Then turning and comparing that to my own influences and seeing how I do the same. It’s all just inspiration.

To touch on that idea of inspiration, you’ve mentioned in the past how you have a wide range on influences in your life in terms on music, but in the last year, which artists have really been influencing the work you’re putting out?

There’s been a lot of really great artists I just got into this past year-ish, but a big one is Michelle Zauner, who’s the singer for Japanese Breakfast. I’m hugely inspired by her, the fact she directs her own music videos and does all her own creative output, it’s really amazing. I’ve also loved the movies of Michel Gondry and the writing of Charlie Kaufman, anything they work on is amazing and so intoxicating.

With this new album you’re ramping up to release, has there been a difference in approach to how you wrote songs and lyrics? And how does that process look like?

I mean it’s been different for almost every song, I tried to do the album the same way I did the EP, and it wasn’t working right. Every song I wrote just felt lacklustre or the same. So to change it up, I had to change my methods, like the first song I wrote, I did two guitar parts first and then I sang, then produced over. That is very different to the EP which was songs first then lyrics. There are certain songs where before I recorded, I had a guitar riff and just wrote the song in a very traditional way, just chords and singing. Maybe loops would be first at times, and then they’d be built off of. Everything has been different.

It’s interesting because it sounds like you’ve really been adding more to your skill set as an artist, would you say that if you had a tool belt of music, that you’ve been adding towards it in the last while?

Yeah, definitely. I’ve been doing that my whole life honestly. I started in bands, not knowing how to produce or anything, but I could play guitar and from then I learned the bass just to add of that. Then I learned production, and that is forever useful. Now I’m working more to be an artist and learn what that entails and requires. Every time I learn something new I really take that and hold onto it until needed.

If you could create your ideal music creation space, where would it be and how would it look like?

That’s interesting, It would really just need to be a secluded place. A place I could disappear and a place I could be as loud as I want as late as I want. No interruptions, all the equipment I needed. Some food, drinks and a bathroom, that’s all I need.

Over the year you’ve posted some concerts you went to, like Paramore in the summer. Are there other shows you saw live that really had an impact upon you and maybe changed the way you approach live shows yourself?

Well, of course, the tour with Roy, he’s been super inspiring in general and watching the man work is amazing. He has a lot of fantastic ideas and he goes through with them. I saw Daisy as well, and they’re so good live. Solange was also amazing with her stage design and her choreography. I also saw Soccer Mommy pretty recently, and it wasn’t too extravagant but it was so well done and exciting to see as a fan of the music.

When you’re on stage, even something like the backyard show you mentioned earlier, what’s the emotion you’re trying to achieve and what is the mindset that you find yourself within at that moment?

When I played that private show, I realized all my songs were pretty mellow and hard to dance or move to. All except for Beachwood didn’t translate very well. So with this new project, I want them to translate really well live, to feel energetic, to feel lively. The songs are just fun. But I keep that emotion in and make sure that I don’t lose what made the earlier work so special and important.

What’s been the overall message you’re trying to pursue this new work and what is it you’re hoping to convey?

I kinda just want to tell my story. Or a story of mine. If people learn things from that, its great, but I’m just saying what happened in my experience. What I realized is that there’s a lot of shitty things that happened to me in my life, but the truth is that things could be a lot worse, so far they’ve been pretty good for the most part. While I had those tough days, I’m still here kicking it.

I apologize if it’s a repeated question, but with the topic of your story, what’s the meaning behind the stage name you’ve taken upon yourself?

It is and it isn’t part of my story in a way. A big part of that choice was that I wanted to separate myself from my old name and work. I wanted this to be super new. The name is taken from two names of people I am very inspired by. And it also, to me, sounds like the quintessential hot girl from a high school, the girl in the coming of age movie they all go after.

If you had a message to artists out there who may find themselves in the same space as you have previously found yourself within, those who may feel as unsure, what would be your lesson to pass on?

I think it doesn’t matter if you’re as confident or as talented as you want to be, as long as you recognize what sounds good to you, just put out the song. It doesn’t matter if you think your voice was bad, just keep progressing as an artist. If you wait for that progression you’ll never put stuff out, you’ll never be happy. With whatever you have right now, just start putting something, anything, out.

Follow Natalie Green on Twitter and Instagram

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

All Photos by Guthrie King

[daninigirl]

Only Exception 🦋

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry

And curse at the wind

He broke his own heart and I watched

As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore

That she would never let herself forget

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

But darling, you are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways to make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable distance

And up until now I had sworn to myself

That I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

But you are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality

But I can't let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing

Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

.

.

.

Tonight i keep on repeating this song. This song turned 11 yrs old this year. I heard this way back highschool or Elementary. I never understand any of the lyrics i just like it for a reason that it’s a song by Paramore

I never realized back then the lyrics of it.

Tonight... I’m still figuring it out

I still don’t get it. Why this song hits differently in my age?

I’m still listening and figuring it out why this song makes someone exceptional?

Sharing two photos of me with different color filters.

I don’t know why I can’t choose between blue or pink

Is there any exception on these?

So I’m just writing my thoughts before i sleep

While hearing this song, do i have someone whom I consider my only exception?

And worth risking for?

Just like this song... i hope 🤞

All of you will find their so called “only exception”

Maybe my only exception is you

🪁

#paramore #Spotify

[yep-too-gone-already]

Questions Tag

I was tagged by the ever Sas-y @toxicats

1. nicknames: Doodle, Dedidy Doodle, Destrey, Noodle(only been used like twice), any adorable thing that Cutie bean calls me( @zehumanparachute lookin at you. In a good way.)

2. gender: Salsa con Queso(who the fuck knows tbh)

3. sign: Aquarius, more like a Pisces 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. height: barely 5’1” (like 5’3/4”)

5. current time: 9:15pm

6. birthday: February 5th. Sometimes I share my birthday with the Super Bowl and I hate it.

7. fave bands: Imagine Dragons, Paramore, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Florence and the Machine, Pentatonix, Of Monsters and Men, All Time Low, Bastille, etc. I could literally go on all day. I really really like music okay.

8. fave solo artists: Troye Sivan, Halsey(does she count?), Demi Lovato, Tessa Violet, Dodie, Daithi de Nogla(does he count? He should), Shakira, Carly Rae Jepsen, etc. could probably go on for a while.

9. song stuck in my head: Fire Alarm by Castlecomer, probably because I listening to it loud as hell on repeat for an hour. But hey who knows.

10. last movie I saw: Doctor Stange w/ the Cutie bean.

11. last show I watched: Fuuuuck. If I had know this question was coming up, I woulda watched something cooler. The last show I watched was Mako Mermaids. Fuckin fight me. I like mermaids.

12. when did I create my blog: 2013 I believe.

13. what do i post: yo look, if you figure it out, Lemmie know. Usually it’s just whatever I find funny or interesting. Again, who the hell knows.

14. last thing I googled: Uhhh. Gods I’m on a roll for stupid shit done. The last thing I googled was Miraculous Ladybug. It’s a good show. Fight me.

15. do I have any other blogs: Ehhhh. Not really. Never been used but I can’t bring myself to delete it. Other than that, there’s one me and the Sas have, but I think I’m the only one to ever do anythin with it.

16. do I get asks: Once in a blue moon. But I answer em when I get em.

17. why did I chose my url: Well. I’m not the same person I was, and I thought it was cool. Plus it made sense. A lot of bad shit happened that year. So I was pretty far gone from the person I was. I know how silly that sounds, but it’s the truth. Lost a lot of things that year.

18. following: 4,763. gotta get that variety in there huh.

19. followed by: 326. I appreciate em all.

20. average hours of sleep: Anywhere from 3 to 12. I have a lot of trouble with sleep.

21. lucky number: 25/33 which is weird Bc I don’t like odd numbers.

22. instruments: I hope to buy a flute sometime this year. I miss playing it. I know how to play bits and pieces of other instruments.

23. what am I wearing: Black tights and a grey long sleeve dc shirt(bitter Bc it doesn’t have the flash on it).

24. dream job: Whatever makes me happy and I can do that doesn’t feel like an actual job.

25. dream trip: Australia. Same as the Sas. I’ll get there at some point. Who knows if I’ll come back though.

26. fave food: lasaga. But salsa con queso comes in a strong second.

27. Nationality: American unfortunately.

28. fave song: Whoever keeps asking me this question can fuck right off. I can’t decide on how I want my hair, much less what song I love the most. I love all my little song babies. Fucking fight me, but I refuse to even attempt to answer this question. So much so that I’m squinting.

29. last book I read: Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare. It’s like my third time reading it and I have no regerts.(I know I spelled it wrong. It’s a joke.)

30. top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: The Mortal Instruments(also includes The Dark Artifaces, the Infernal Devices, the Bane Chronicles, and Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy)sounds p cool, Harry Potter, probably Percy Jackson(which by default is also access to Magnus Chase, Trials of Apollo, and the Kane Chronicles)

I’ll only tag a couple peeps.

@zehumanparachute

@thagrinbery

@musicsavedmefromdeath

#:D #love you guyyyssss #thanks Sas #doodle speaks #doodle answers

[sparksinmyveins]

From ‚Fake Happy’ to ‚Real Happy’

In Year 2012 I heard about this band. A Girl with red hair is on stage singing while a lot of guys are playing instruments. I watched a video, „The Only Exception“, and some kind of magic happened. The guitars appealed to my ears and the bass controlled my heartbeat. My walk matched to the beat of the drums and after a lot of time, consisting of a lot of personal struggles, I felt that I could breathe again. I had the motivation to get up and smile once in a while. Paramore started to be a part of my life and someday, they suddenly were a part of me.

The people in the band were these crazy peeps that made music seemed like they had no problems and I believed that for a really long time. But then there was this one moment when I realized it’s not true and my imagination is just pretty unrealistic. One day in 2014, I listened to “Last Hope“ and I starte crying right from the beginning. In this moment the song spoke to me more than ever and at the same time I knew: Hayley knows this feeling, too. She sings about it, she wrote about it, she felt it. She is human. Maybe she is just like me.

Three years later, everyone was excited for Pmore 5 to happen and there it was! A happy sound with lyrics that told us „Yes, we are human. Everyone is not okay sometimes and that’s okay.“ I listened to „Fake Happy“ and „Told You So“ on repeat and probably got on the nerves of all the people around me but I related so much and I looked up to Paramore for the brave humans they were to put their feelings into words and share these feelings with us.

I saw they go on Tour One and I would’ve sold my soul to go there. My lovely best friend probably realized how important it was to me and said she would come with me. Asking my dad if I can go was so scary and it was hard for me to do it but in the end, he said yes and I was freaking out.

One month and three days ago, Paramore were in Cologne for Tour One and we were there. Standing, talking, dancing, singing, crying, jumping, losing my bracelet, having the best night of my life, I can now properly say something about this night.

First of all I wanna thank Bleached for heating up the crowd at the beginning, you were great, and everyone who was working on that day to make this an incredible night for us people in the crowd.

Then I wanna talk about Paramore. You guys have my heart for a few years now and my heart will hold onto your music, Your style of music will stay with me forever. Seeing you live was the best experience in my life so far and the energy you all gave to us touched me. The songs were perfect and I loved every moment from singing and crying to „Turn It Off“ to jumping in the pit during „MizBiz“. I hope you had as much fun on stage as I had in the crowd. I wanna thank you for the great messages you shared during the speeches at the show and with the songs you played. I wanna thank you for opening up about your feelings and showing your vulnerable side. Thank you for being human.

Last but not least I wanna talk about the fans. It started in the line. We were all waiting fort he doors to open and people behind me started talking to me, even though we were strangers because the music connected us. In the venue, my best friend and I were standing and talking and complete strangers were so nice again so I was just able to talk to everyone. Yes, I even made friends that I still talk to and it’s great! Then I wanna thank the crowd for making Bleached welcomed because they were a great support act and it was so nice to know that you all accepted them as their support.

When Paramore was on stage we were jumping around, holding each other during the sad songs and during the happy and funky and party songs. I fell in the pit once and people helped me to get up again, I freaking love pits and you guys! Holding each other during „Forgiveness“ and swinging from left to right was the feeling of a little family!. When Paramore was off stage and „Wanna Dance With Somebody“ by Whitney Houston played from the boxes, everyone was singing and dancing.

On this night, I felt like being a part of something so great and beautiful. Paramore was the reason we all bonded, was the reason we all had the time of our lives. But the crowd made this night so awesome. Without the fans, this concert wouldn’t have been this good and fort he first time in a long time I felt „Real Happy“. For the first time I truly  understood the most known sentence. So thank you for everything.

 Thank You @paramore Thank You Fans.

 We Are Paramore. ♥

#Paramore Concert #parafamily #paramore cologne #pmorealbum5 #pmore5 #pmore #Hayley Williams #hayley #yelyahwilliams #taylor york #taylor #jeremy davis #jeremy #justin york #justin #zac farro #Zac is back #bleached #crowd #palladium #Cologne #eigenes #paramore #music #drums #microphone #guitars #bass #farbenfinsternis #knicklichtregen

[marissaneedsabetterblog]

2+3 = 5: 5 things i’ve learned on the road to 23

I haven’t posted on this blog and bombarded the world with my oddly worded thoughts in a year. 

This past weekend I turned 23. It’s an unceremonious age, really. None of the excitement of 21, and it also lacks the feeling of transition that turning 22 gives you. Yet, for me 23 has become a milestone of sorts.

The road to 23, specifically, the past 2 years of my life, has been full of changes, transitions, and lessons.  Between ages 21 and 23, I:

Broke up with someone I dated for almost half a decade

Had a very public breakdown in my last semester on campus at college

Traveled to 3 different countries while studying abroad for my last semester

Graduated from college

Felt the existential dread of unemployment

Got a job

Began experiencing the effects of the existential dread of adulthood in general

Lost my first job

Got a new job

Moved out of my childhood home to live on my own with my best friend

There’s a lot more that happened than these spark notes style bullet points. A lot of these things feel so distant to me, as if they were lived out by another girl or were a dream. But this all happened in the space of 24 months.

If you have gotten to know me in any real way, you know this about me: I am sensitive and emotional, I am very pensive, I have a strong set of morals, and I make every move with conviction.

In the past two years, in so many ways I have become a different person, I have felt the entire spectrum of human emotion. I have been pushed to contemplate so many things that I thought I was sure of, and to feel so many things I thought that I had let go. 

However, in many more ways I have proven and had proven to me that I am who I am who I am. 

From all of this I learned so much, but since  I turned 23, and 2+3 = 5, I am going to write about 5 of the top things I have learned  on the road to 23.

1. Embrace all of your feelings and understand temporality

I think the largest struggle I have witnessed around me in my short foray into adulthood is the struggle to be happy. 

People want to experience being happy all the time. People shy away from anger, sadness, and pain because of the discomfort it causes.  I think this desire for the ever-present feeling of happiness is what stops so many people from making hard decisions or working through issues they need to work through. 

Ever see someone have their heartbroken big time and proceed to go out and get trashed/fall into the arms of several people within the span of a couple of weeks in the name of “having fun" and ~*living the single life*~? 

Instead of embracing all the emotions we can feel as people, I think a lot of people cling to happiness and do whatever it takes to feel temporary euphoria instead of coping with the underlying emotions they’re experiencing. Seeking escape sometimes is okay and necessary, but I think we have to acknowledge that  at the end of every fun night, the feelings we haven’t dealt with will still be there like an overdue bill waiting to be paid. 

Being angry, sad, hurt, anxious, etc is okay. It’s important. We are multifaceted, we are meant to feel many things. You shouldn’t avoid these feelings because - they’re temporary!  They won’t last forever. Discomfort is not a permanent state of being, but it’s an important state of being.  Discomfort creates growth. (There’s nuances to this with mental illness though....) 

Understanding the temporality of emotion is what has allowed me to move through most of the disappointment and anxiety I have experienced as a recent college graduate, as well as the painful emotions that I experience just from interacting with others in an open vulnerable way.

Like *queen* Hayley Williams of Paramore sang in Last Hope:

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to It's not that I don't feel the pain it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore

2.  Context is not equal to justification

Empathy and sensitivity is kind of my thing. I am the MVP of just feeling the shit out of my feelings. I feel my feelings, your feelings, her feelings, his feelings, their feelings…

I stay in my feelings.

I am also the MVP of overthinking, analysis, and rumination. (Shout out to my anxious empaths) So, the combination of these two traits creates the perfect storm of….trying to understand other people.

It sounds great on paper. In fact, a lot of times it is great – but if you’re not an expert at prioritizing yourself and protecting your energy yet, this can lead to a lot of pain.

How? Why?

It took me 23 years to understand that understanding where someone is coming from, having that context, is not justification. It’s not an apology. It just means you…you kind of get why a person did what they did. I have spent the better part of 2 decades conflating context with justification, and getting unjustifiably shit on because of this habit.

Just because you understand why someone did something, does NOT mean you have to accept what they did.

Let me repeat that: Just because you understand why someone did something, does NOT mean you have to accept what they did.

People have all sorts of reasons for doing what they do. Hurt people tend to hurt people. Moreover, I have observed an interesting phenomenon in my age group.  People use being young and finding themselves as an excuse for being reckless with other peoples’ feelings. Twentysomethings tend to be selfish in the cool self-care setting boundaries prioritizing oneself way, but also in the not so cool draining emotional vampire way too *people who are the latter tend to claim they’re the former too...stay woke fam.

Don’t accept things just because you understand them. Things don’t hurt less because you understand them. Don’t overextend yourself for people who wouldn’t extend themselves for you.

3. Live reflectively

I am writing a blog post, so you know I believe in this one! That was a bad joke. I’m sorry.

But, in all seriousness – if you are just living life without actively and intentionally thinking about what you are doing and what is happening in your life – that ….is not good.

I have seen myself and others close to me repeat the same patterns. Sometimes even with very concrete intentions of making change. Without deep reflection, it is easy to end up doing the same things. If you see yourself repeating a behavior that was harmful in the past, think about it, and think about how to change.

You should think about what you do, what you have done, what your friends are doing, and all of the effects these things have on you. How does your job make you feel? How do your friends make you feel? What do you think you should be doing differently? Think about these things often. Write about these things. Talk to honest people about these things. See a therapist. Find some sort of outlet.

For many, growth is a process that needs to be guided from within, and I sincerely believe reflection can provide a lot of that guidance. Refection teaches you what makes you wilt and what makes you flourish.

4. Become an active listener

I personally am convinced that many people do not know how to actively listen. Actively listening isn’t about hearing; it’s about making sure someone is heard. You can’t listen if you’re trying to form your next point. You can’t listen if you’re stuck in your own head. And if you can’t listen, you can’t understand.

Active listening isn’t just about making others feel good, it’s about understanding others and being able to effectively use your intuition. Many times, people clearly articulate what kind of energy they will bring into our lives with what they say and especially with what they don’t say.

All I’m saying is use the old gramophone to actually listen bro. It can change how you make other people feel and how you feel about other people.

5. Tell someone you care about them, every single day.

I’m going to be as blunt as possible: if you’re taking people for granted, you are living your life wrong. You can AND will lose people that mean something to you if you don’t show them that you value them.

More importantly, people need to know that they’re loved. We are living in such trying times, and people need the compassion of their loved ones.

Posturing to seem chill or detached…is dumb. And you will regret it. Clearly articulate to people what they mean to you. Be honest and open with you intentions and feelings.  Be receptive to how other people articulate how they feel. Through this process you will understand who your support system is.

I’ll be honest. I don’t know how to end this post. I feel like I have only share 5% of what I’ve learned, but it’s already 3 pages in Microsoft word, which means not even my mom will finish reading this.  If you made it to this point – thanks for sticking it out. 

On top of these 5 lectures, I also made a playlist of 23 songs that I care about a lot in this moment as a 23 y/o. Hope you enjoy it~

-marissa

#personal

[heykittykitty7]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

Rules: tag people who you would like to know better

thank you @weareallshootingstars for tagging me <3<3<3<3

Relationship Status: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Last Song I Listened To: paramore - hard times

Last Book Read/Listened To: the dreamcatcher by stephen king, now i’m reading it and i’m loving it SO much Favorite Color: R A I N B O W  Top Three shows: brooklyn nine nine, pushing daisies, parks & recreation. there are definitely more this are just the ones i  can think of at the moment Top Three Characters: DON’T MAKE ME CHOSE Top Three Ships: i’m not really into shipping tbh, i like some but that’s about it

2) Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7” or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair (naturally) I have brown eyes I have short hair (they’re short only because they’re curly tho they’re actually medium lenght) My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity (my angel my hope <3<3<3<3) I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school university, i’m done with school bitches My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CD’s I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have a brother

i tag: @themelancholicmess @sugaschim @myonlyhopeisjhope @hysterian96 @hobivirus @9395x

#tag #know me

[neonlamb]

Lasso Yo + a Singles Mixtape 10.06.17

I have been anxiously anticipating the third album, Lasso Yo, from Canon Blue since I first learned of it last year. It is better than I could have even hoped. I’ve been listening to it on repeat this morning and fall more in love with it with each listen. 

I’m hesitant to say that Canon Blue’s Daniel James is my cousin, because I don’t want you think I’m overly biased. It only makes me incredibly proud. I can tell you a lot about Dan and how I loved hearing him play Weezer’s Sweater Song on his guitar when we were in middle school. Instead, I’ll just pull from a recent blog post from another music aficionado so you can read an unbiased assessment:

[This summer], Canon Blue shared the official video for “Beholden” with Noisey who described the video as “A four-minute slow-motion, single shot video filled with nostalgic wonders.” The video was directed by Jouka Valkama as part of a dance project called See | Obey for the Susanna Leinonen Company in Helsinki...

Lasso Yo is the third full-length from Canon Blue, the alter ego of Nashville producer-songwriter, Daniel James. It’s been over a half-decade since Canon Blue’s previous album, the Efterklang and Amiina-augmented orchestral pop opus, Rumspringa. Six years can feel like a lifetime, and James knows that all too well, and he tells the whole story on Lasso Yo.

Conceived during increasingly long periods of isolation caused by increasingly intense bouts of anxiety and depression, Lasso Yo weaves those difficult personal struggles into a lyrically earnest and musically rich collection of songs. Produced, performed, and recorded by James at Taylor York’s (Paramore) house, and mixed by John McEntire (Broken Social Scene, Yo La Tengo, The Sea and Cake), this is not only Canon Blue’s most personal record, but also his most profound.

For what was undoubtedly a challenging, cathartic record to make, Lasso Yo achieves a kind of weightlessness that betrays the heavy load it carries. It’s this dichotomy that gives the album a curious magic, an unlikely transcendence spawned by an uncomfortable confrontation between James’ past and present, and the new shape it gives his future.

Give it a listen and judge for yourself.

Now, time for our regularly scheduled Singles Mixtape. This week we have new drops from The 1975, Tennis, Meadowlark and many others. Enjoy!

#Canon Blue #Daniel James #temporary residence #lasso yo #Spotify #the 1975 #Tennis #Meadowlark #rva #rvamusic

[purplesurveys]

572

Where was the last place you drove to? Other than home, I drove to Bonifacio Global City with Gab for a day out. I also drove to her dorm to drop her off after. What is your favorite move franchise? The Twilight Saga or Toy Story. What was the last fast food you ate? We had Wendy’s earlier. I was honestly kinda relieved to just have fast food for lunch because I just needed something greasy as fuck to shed off the hangover from last night, and something quick because I was so tired and was in no mood to even go out to begin with. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus. Do you think you're a good dancer? When I’m drunk enough and when it’s dark, yeah. Hahaha

What is the saddest book you've ever read? I don’t know if I’ve read any sad fiction; AJ’s memoir was sad enough though. I remember having to take breaks every so often because some of the content was just too heavy to take in one go. How old will you be this time next year? I will be 22. What subject do you think you are best at? History. I have a number of relatives who have worked/are working as researchers and historians, so I’m not surprised I got bitten by the bug too. Do you prefer heroes or villains? Heroes, unless the villain’s story is endearing or if the role is played good enough. That’s the case with a number of heels (wrestling talk for bad guys) who are AMAZING at being assholes, like CM Punk or Triple H. What is something you think is overrated? I love milk tea, but it’s definitely hyped up way too much in the Philippines. A lot of people like to brag how they skip water in favor of milk tea and it’s just? what? How are you genuinely proud of that? I mean whatever floats your boat and all, but still????? What political cause are you most passionate about? The SOGIE/anti-discrimination bill that for some reason is being debated on to begin with. How anti-discrimination is still a cause of conflict is the most Filipino thing I’ve ever seen and it’s shameful. What country would you most like to visit? Morocco, Turkey, or India. What is the worst job you've ever had? I haven’t had any so there’s nothing to rank. Who was your best friend as a child? We would change sections every year so my best friends used to change often. There was Kaye, Jaynie, Raegan...but it was Angela for most of my childhood. What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do? Having to keep going when my grandfather died mere days before the UPCAT. That, or seeing Nacho in his coffin. His slight smirk made it easier to deal with, but I still had a good cry about it. Have you ever considered having children? Yeah, I’ve thought about it more and more as I got older - a far cry from my hatred of kids when I was a frustrated 13 year old lmao. If you ever took field trips as a child, which was your favorite? I’ve always been a museum lover so our field trip to Intramuros/various Manila museums in 5th grade, and our field trip to Ayala Museum/The Mind Museum in freshman year were amazing. Do you have any weird family traditions? Not really. I will say that my mom’s side has a very weird, very distinct humor that takes some getting used to (but once you do you’ll realize they’re all funny as fuuuuuuck on that side) but it doesn’t really count as tradition, so idk. Have you ever considered acting? Not at all. I never liked having to do it. Who was the last person you slept next to? Gab. Do you think you can be in love and still cheat on your S.O.? That’s messed up, dude. Do you subscribe to any streaming services? I have a Netflix and Spotify but other people pay for them. Do you consider yourself a crafty person? That’s a big fat nope for me. What is your ideal weather? Cold enough that I don’t need to turn on the electric fan. If there’s a thunderstorm, even better. Have you ever been in a physical fight? With my cousins when we were kids, yes.  What is the most embarrassing thing anyone has on video of you? Angela has questionable footage of me when I got too drunk at Gabie’s party last year; she’s tried showing it to me but I’ve always refused to know what she caught on video lmao. She can keep it if she wants; I just don’t ever want to see it hahaha. Gab also took a video and photos of me all hunched at the toilet and throwing up after drinking too much from earlier this year.

I’m clearly not the best drunk; in the same way, my best friends clearly know their priorities lol. Did you ever get lost as a child? No. If I got ‘lost’ it was only because my parents would intentionally hide from me at malls to see what I would do when I realized I was lost/to mess with me. What is your favorite condiment? Mayonnaaaaaaise. On a scale of 1-10, how attractive do you think you are? I’d give myself an 8 tbh. Minus two points for my two crooked teeth and frizzy hair. Do you prefer horror or romance movies? When it comes down to it, romance. I feel like they have more leeway since romantic comedies (which if you still don’t know by now, is my favorite genre) is under that genre, whereas horror can be just right or way too corny or cheap for my liking. What was the last film you saw in theaters? Hello, Love, Goodbye last August(?). But I think that’ll change soon because I plan to see Charlie’s Angels this month - and can I just say, only for Kristen lol.

Have you ever been to a concert? Sure, I’ve been to several, but I keep my ticket purchases to artists I have REALLY been wanting to see, like One Direction and Paramore. There’s a bunch of acts who’ve gone to Manila but I wasn’t religiously obsessed enough to want to see them, like Troye Sivan, The 1975, The Japanese House, etc. Have you ever had an existential crisis? No. I try not to think about that stuff. Where is the farthest from home you've traveled? Bali. Do you like country music? Ugh, no. Can you play any instruments? Other than the basic recorder, which I don’t really count, no. What color are your eyes? Black. What color are the eyes of the person you love? The same. What is your favorite kind of flower? Idk I don’t have one. Baby’s breaths are cute though. Have you ever had your heart broken before? For various reasons, yes. What town were you born in? I was born in, if I’m not mistaken, the district of Sta. Mesa in Manila. Do you believe you had a good childhood? I know my elders tried to shield me from harsher realities, and I’ll give them credit for that. I had the latest toys and gadgets and we had cable TV, so I had access to the cool shows of the time, to give a few examples. I’m grateful for all of those, but nothing could ever protect us from acknowledging the reality that I had alcoholic relatives who also happened to wake me up everyday with the smell of their cigarette smoke; and relatives who would resort to physical fights and screaming whenever they got too drunk, which always made our house a hot topic within the small neighborhood and a source of embarrassment for me, my siblings, and cousins. What was the last dream you had? I’m not sure. I think I was just hanging out with Gab in it. Do you know how to play any card games? Other than solitaire, no. Have you ever taken a taxi before? Yep but I can count those times on one hand. I’d rather use a ride-sharing app to get a driver than hail a Filipino taxi driver. What is something about your childhood that you miss? Half-days in school. What are you currently most looking forward to? Sleeping tonight, tbh. I want to stay up for a bit but I can’t wait to sleep too. Did you ever have MySpace? Do you miss those days? I had, very briefly. It was never a big trend in the Philippines so I didn’t see the big deal. I was more attached to Friendster (which I never got to have because of the 16-year-old signup requirement, which my parents made sure I followed) and Multiply. What is the best television show you've ever watched? Breaking Bad. Are there any songs you can't listen to because they bring back memories? I can’t listen to O by Coldplay anymore because it was the song I kept on repeat when I repeatedly harmed, starved, and tried to kill myself a couple of years ago. Have you ever saved someone's life? I hope I have in some form or another. I know I failed with Nach, though. Do you tend to sleep well at night? Sure, unless I had reason not to. What do you believe is your weirdest habit? I lock my car doors three times before I feel comfortable. When was the last time you were sick? This question is on almost every survey, along with the what-instruments-do-you-play one. Uhhhhhh 2017. What color are your parents' eyes? Black. Do you have any credit cards? I don’t. Have you ever broken any major bones? Nope, thank goodness. Have you ever had a surgery before? ^ Same. Are you ever afraid people will just stop talking to you one day? I never thought about that, no. Can you tell me the last deep thought you had? Meh, it’s too triggering to go back to at the moment. Are there any websites you've used for over 10 years? Twitter, Wikipedia, and YouTube, for sure. Do you have any siblings? If so, what are their ages? Yeah, they’re 19 and 16. What is the best movie you've seen this year? Liway. Did you ever make straight a's in school? Sure. What color is the shirt you are currently wearing? White, with maroon text.

#survey #surveys

[swimintothesound]

Lil Aaron is The Internet's Last Hope

A bit of a sequel to my recent write-up on the 2017 Soundcloud scene, this post is a markedly more positive look at an artist who is using the same path blazed by trap musicians to create something wholly unique on his own terms.

While the hair-dyed “mumble rap” scene of 2016 paved the way for an unrelenting crop of new artists like XXXtentacion and Lil Pump, it also built a framework that allowed for the emergence of new artists who were able to use the same sound and take it a step further. The anthesis of these aggressive bass-abusing rappers is a long-haired dude named Lil Aaron. Described as one of the music industry’s “best kept (and weirdest) secrets,” Aaron is a 23-year-old rapper from Indiana who grew up with an omnivorous appetite for music. With a diet consisting of equal parts hip-hop and rock, Aaron’s music is the product of two decades of careful study and appreciation. He is the result of unrestrained internet access and becoming musically-conscious in an era where T-Pain and Outkast were as prevalent as Taking Back Sunday and Blink-182.

In 2017, those genre-based barriers are lower than ever, and Lil Aaron has spent the last year building a musical playground in which all sounds are treated equally. He isn’t making the same blown-out trap centered around adrenaline-inducing primordial chants, but he uses many of the same techniques as the Soundcloud rapper greats. From song topics, terms, and cultural idioms, even down to the dyed hair, Aaron takes the traditional signposts of the genre and plays with them until they’re barely recognizable. What emerges is a Das Racist-esque parody that shows immense appreciation for the scene while simultaneously deconstructing the tropes as he’s using them. It’s mercilessly poking fun at the genre in the way that only an insider can, all while making one-of-a-kind music in the process.

103°

I first became aware of Lil Aaron’s existence while browsing the Twitter-sphere on a particularly hot 103° day in Portland. I’d spend the day writing in my backyard, sweating it out and listening to Lana Del Rey in between submitting vaguely-flippant job applications. I’d put in a surprisingly hard days work and figured some mindless Twitter scrolling was a suitable reward.

I stumbled across a video that power user @belatweets2u had retweeted featuring a big white dude with green hair dancing and the caption "im a hot topic.” I’ll admit I was intrigued (and ready to hate it), but I clicked on the video anyway, mainly in an attempt to figure out how this played into my go-to high school clothing shop. When I expanded the video, I heard the unmistakable sounds of Panic! At the Disco’s "I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and was taken aback.

I had to look away from the phone and catch my breath just to make sure I was hearing this right. To say I was perplexed would be an understatement. I hadn’t listened to the song in years, but the song’s instantly-recognizable opening notes took me back to middle school instantly. The 2005-era orchestral plucks were accompanied by Aaron’s alternating “ayyy’s” and “yeah’s” in between the song’s quickly-plucked pizzicato strings. His ad-libbed additions were on-beat and, while incongruous, fit in eerily well with the song’s original overwrought emo context. As the song’s eighth measure hit, right as you’re expecting Brendon Urie’s vocals to enter at their familiar spot, a catastrophic bass blast enters the mix accompanied by Aaron’s auto tune-drenched voice singing “I’m a Hot topic, yeah.”

I was smitten.

He continued to dance, sing, and ad-lib along with his Disco-infused trap song, and within seconds everything fell into place. It was an instantly-endearing mix of modern trap stylings and middle school nostalgia that melted my heart and made me a fan within the space of a single 37-second Twitter video.

Further Down

From there, I sought out Lil Aaron’s Soundcloud and played his most recent song “Warped Tour” which takes the same approach as “Hot Topic,” this time sampling Paramore’s megahit “Misery Business” for another trap-inspired anthem. Within the song, Aaron toys with a common trap idiom by making a direct comparison between his bands (stacks of money) and the number of bands playing Warped Tour. In the time it’s taken me to write this, he’s since released “Top 8” which samples Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar We’re Goin Down” and acts as a loving, nostalgic ode to MySpace using the name of the site’s notorious friend-ranking feature as a springboard for wordplay which leads to the line “give me top, aye.”

It’s an incredible mixing of genres, sounds, terminology, and humor that I never would have thought possible given all the time in the world. Most of the tracks follow a similar format: lure the listener into a sense of familiarity with the original sample, throw them a curveball with a leaned-out trap chorus, sandwich a quick verse in the middle, repeat the chorus, then end. It makes for a brief but compelling listen that doesn’t overstay its welcome or wear out the novelty. And as short as these songs are, Aaron has since (perhaps jokingly) promised he’s working on “making his songs even shorter.” Brevity is the soul of wit, and Aaron is crafting a song structure that’s unmistakable and all his own.

You’d think the crossover between decade-old emo pop and modern trap wouldn’t be a very wide Venn diagram, but it turns out Aaron’s audience is surprisingly vast. It seems that many other listeners have experienced similar twists and turns in their journey of music discovery. Aaron is uncovering a built-in audience of fans that share a single touchpoint and cultivating a relationship with them as he continues to add onto it. With songs that routinely get hundreds of thousands of plays on Soundcloud and cosigns from Chief Keef, Slim Jxmmi, Bella Thorne, and even Kylie Jenner, Aaron’s audience is massive and only growing.

I’m glad the internet has allowed for artists like Lil Aaron to flourish. It’s such an audacious combination of genres (one that would have never found success or even life in the traditional music industry), and I’m glad that it exists. The ability for an artist to put something out into the universe and have it find an audience is one of the beautiful benefits of living in 2017.

He doesn’t fit perfectly into a box, but that’s fine, he’s not for everybody, and that’s the upside to our ever-splintering media landscape. In an interview with Pigeons and Planes Aaron addresses freedom:

“That’s what’s cool—with the Internet and where we are with media and technology, you don’t have to be selected by people in power to be successful in the music industry. Anywhere I am right now, I did all by myself.”

It’s absolute, unbridled freedom. The ability to mash two disparate sounds together and see what comes of it. Your audience will find you eventually, sometimes you just have to create and see what happens next. As Aaron revs up to drop his next emo-infused track “IWGFU” I find myself anticipating his every move and anxiously awaiting the inevitable collection of trappy-pop-punk bangers. Here’s to innovation, and a long, weird career. Here’s to Lil Aaron.

#lil aaron #hip-hop #trap #emo #pop-punk #glowing #gloing pains #review #paramore #panic! at the disco #fall out boy #2000's #music #twitter #discovery #tunes #artist